Jan 2019 Archive, part c

  • Misappropriating Art: Among the Pernese Alps by Huinesoron on 2019-01-21 11:45:00 UTC Link to this



    With sincerest apologies to Albert Bierstadt, whose painting Among the Bernese Alps I heard of and decided had to be a typo.

    Also with direct inspiration from this image by, uh... 'MrGro', apparently, and thematic inspiration from Jeff Bennett's War on Kinkade series.

    hS

    • This is pretty neat (nm) by Tomash on 2019-01-24 05:11:00 UTC Link to this
    • Yee! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-22 16:23:00 UTC Link to this

      I want this on my wall. ^_^

      This is, what, the High Reaches, you reckon? Rough terrain, primarily coniferous trees indicating higher latitude/altitude climate...?

      ~Neshomeh

      • Sounds about right. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-22 16:41:00 UTC Link to this

        It would also make sense timeline-wise: if the colonists were going to name anything 'the Pernese Alps', it would be the big mountain range they first settled on. (Of course, if they were American, they'd probably be the Pernese Rockies, with Benden being in the Pernese Appalachians.)

        I did think very much of you when deciding to post it. ;) Sadly I think the base image is a bit low res to be worth printing out, and I can't find a better version. Still, it worked much better than I expected!

        hS

    • That's cool! by Iximaz on 2019-01-21 12:00:00 UTC Link to this

      Did you put this together with Photoshop? I love how the dragons feel like they're part of the original painting. :)

      My own contribution to fandom art: I call this one "Eve of War". We had to create a fake landscape as part of my Photoshop class last year, so naturally I had to do something related to Gallifrey. please ignore the obvious errors it was one of the first things I did and I should really retouch it but I'm too lazy to

      • Paint.net. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-21 12:20:00 UTC Link to this

        I needed something with layers that I could access at work from an undisclosed location, and I'd at least heard of it, so. The reason they're so small is that it was all done with the standard paintbrush - any larger and you'd start seeing block-filled areas, which never look good. ^_^

        I don't think yours is as bad as you think. The saucer works very well in the sky, just as the TARDIS does on the beach; the sea and sky go together well too. The tree is kind of jarring, but silver leaves, right? I'm sure I remember Eight going on about silver leaves.

        You've got a few artefacts around the islands, but the easiest way to eliminate those would be to shrink the image slightly. ;) After that, I'd mostly be looking at the shadows - under a burnt orange sky, I think they'd take a different colour to standard black. I would say highlights as well (eg, on the leaves), but if the Doctor says they're silver, that must mean they appear silver even under Gallifreyan light, so that works.

        hS

  • My own Boardiversary! by Iximaz on 2019-01-21 12:06:00 UTC Link to this

    Five years ago today, I wandered here via TV Tropes after reading the Original Series. I introduced myself on someone else's thread, accidentally used my own email address as a username on my own introductory thread, and proceeded to make a fool of myself while accepting everyone's newbie gifts. (I still have that potato cannon, by the way; I just need to find a reason to use it.)

    Back then I was still going by RinaAndRanda (Rina) and... well, a few months after that, I switched to Iximaz and I've been going by it ever since.

    Hard to believe I was just a little baby sixteen year old at the time. My twenty-second birthday is in a few months now, I've gotten engaged, I've moved to a new country... amazing to think what can happen in five years.

    You guys are the best online group I've ever had the pleasure to be a part of. I've made so many friends and grown so much as a person and a writer since joining. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

    Here's to many more! *raises glass in toast*

    • Happy Board-iversary Ix. by World-Jumper on 2019-01-22 11:07:00 UTC Link to this

      Cheers!

    • Happy Boardiversary! (nm) by Snowblaze on 2019-01-22 07:23:00 UTC Link to this
    • Congrats! by Grundleplith on 2019-01-21 21:09:00 UTC Link to this

      *hoists tankard of root beer*
      Here's to more!

    • Happy Boardiversary Ix! by Novastorme on 2019-01-21 17:41:00 UTC Link to this

      You've more than deserved it.

      (although it really doesn't feel like 5 years ago that I was a newbie and you'd just joined, it feels like AGES)

    • Happy Boardiversary! by Helsinki on 2019-01-21 16:30:00 UTC Link to this

      I think we can safely assume that we're all the better for you being here.

    • It boardiversary! by Delta Juliette on 2019-01-21 16:23:00 UTC Link to this

      Has it only been five years? Five years, nearly a hundred missions, a wedding, a very traumatized time lady... You've shaped a lot of what the PPC is and can be, and we're a better place for it.

      *Gives a box of sporks*

    • HAPP BOARD! *also raises glass for toast* (nm) by S.M.F. on 2019-01-21 14:26:00 UTC Link to this
  • Drunk Prompts by Novastorme on 2019-01-21 17:51:00 UTC Link to this

    (Spoiler: None of these prompts were actually created while I was drunk, only one while I was tipsy)

    So I was at a Stag Do this weekend, and that *may* have slightly affected my thoughts on the theme for this round of prompts (in case you couldn't guess)

    Prompt 1: One of your characters is on a Stag/Hen Do and does something embarrassing.

    Prompt 2: One of your characters has alcohol for the first time.

    Prompt 3: One of your characters has to fake being drunk.

    I'd like to thank Akrinor and doctorlit for help with these prompts, and Calliope and Delta for their suggestions.

    • A Very Unusual Examination (Prompt Three) by Snowblaze on 2019-01-22 13:28:00 UTC Link to this

      Tiger staggered down the corridor. The dizziness spell Martin had put on him meant he couldn’t walk in a straight line, which was the whole point.

      When Martin had first told him to pretend to be drunk in order to spy on the girls, Tiger had thought it was a very bad joke. But it appeared he was serious. To Tiger, it was self-evidently a completely horrendous idea, because the girls weren’t stupid and they knew he wasn’t stupid.

      He didn’t have much choice: it was either obey orders or launch a leadership challenge, which was also a horrendous idea: Martin was three years older and stronger than Tiger and dividing the group in half would be handing victory to the girls.

      Which was why Tiger was now trying to act as stupidly as possible. He banged into the wall. “Stupid wall!” he slurred. “Take that!” He kicked the wall. “And that! And that!” He kicked it with the other foot and then punched it, trying to keep a straight face.

      His toes actually hurt now. That was going to leave a bruise, probably. He continued along the corridor, stumbling and wobbling on his clumsy feet, until finally he reached the end and the girl sitting on the plastic chair. He recognised her as Penelope Turner, who was in the same year as him.

      “What’s the password?” she asked, although she looked extremely confused.

      “Pashword?” Tiger asked. “I don’t need no pashword!” He swung his fist in a clumsy blow he normally would have scorned.

      Penelope, of course, dodged it without any difficulty whatsoever. She turned her head to the door behind her, opened it a crack, and called “Tiger Moon’s here! And… I think he’s drunk?”

      Tiger forced open the door and stepped inside. “Die!” he shouted, stomping towards the nearest girl and drawing his sword.

      For the next few minutes the scene resembled one from a comedy. Tiger stepped towards the girls clunkily and made half-hearted attacks which were all easily dodged. He fought the urge to burst out laughing.

      Eventually the girls managed to organise themselves and he was surrounded by a wall of raised swords. Normally, facing these impossible odds, Tiger would take the sensible option and surrender, but being “drunk” he couldn’t do that. He charged towards one of the oldest girls there and was immediately hit by a Halting Spell, completely taking away his ability to move.

      Well, that was stages one and two of the plan, “pretend to be drunk” and “get captured”, successful. Now all he had to do was spy. And hopefully not have to endure his sister’s evil gloating.

      • That was good by Tomash on 2019-01-24 05:20:00 UTC Link to this

        THe ending is leaving me looking forward to the followup story (and the "get captured" part of the plan wasn't something I was expecting).

        You've done a good job describing the action, from what I can tell. I can generally imagine what was going on.

        - Tomash, whose reviewing streak was broken by grad school but might start up again maybe

        • I thought that would be obvious... by Snowblaze on 2019-01-24 07:34:00 UTC Link to this

          The girls wouldn’t tolerate any boy roaming through their lair, “drunk” or not. I might write a follow-up if there’s another prompt that fits it, but I think that might involve the usual theme of “everything goes horribly wrong”...

    • "I don't think this is a good idea." by Iximaz on 2019-01-22 09:38:00 UTC Link to this

      Ix watched with folded arms as Charlotte continued pouring the tequila into her very tall glass of margarita mix. "Lottie..."

      "Why not?" Charlotte asked, turning to fill Ix's glass after she'd emptied half the bottle into her own. "I've seen you drink this stuff before, and it's not like you weigh that much more than me."

      "No, but..." Ix bit her lip. "I mean, I would have preferred you start on cider or something..."

      "It'll be fine," Charlotte said, handing Ix the glass and raising hers in a toast. "Come on, cheers—here's to my first time having alcohol as a human!"



      "I looove you."

      "Yes, Lottie... I love you too."

      "I really love you!"

      Ix sighed, but smiled as she wrapped an arm around her extremely giggly wife. "I really love you too."

      Charlotte's eyes went wide and she pushed her glasses up her nose, leaning in as she put a hand on Ix's cheek. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

      Ix bit back a laugh. "I'm married, actually."

      Charlotte's smile immediately vanished and her lower lip quivered. "You are?"

      "To you!" Ix said quickly. "I'm married to you—no, Lottie, hon, please, don't cry—"

      Charlotte buried her face in her hands and began bawling. Ix rubbed her back uncomfortably for a moment before summoning a box of tissues to them, offering it to her sobbing wife.

      "Next time," she said quietly, barely audible over Charlotte's crying, "we're sticking to butterbeer."

      • This is good by Tomash on 2019-01-24 05:28:00 UTC Link to this

        I don't have too many comments other than that I liked it and "Wow, Lotte is a lightweight."

        - Tomash

  • By request, Cards Against Headquarters! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-21 20:30:00 UTC Link to this

    Because it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and what better way to celebrate the life of a man who stood for social justice, peace, and equality than to play a game that pokes fun at all the ugliness in the world? {= D

    Link here, password is "dream".

    Note that game chat is disabled due to some legal trouble Pretend You're Xyzzy got in, but feel free to join us in Discord's dedicated CAHQ voice chat. {= )

    ~Neshomeh

    • Aaand game histories. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-22 00:26:00 UTC Link to this

      For those who missed out, here are links to all the depravity. NSFW and NSFB, as usual.

      Game One

      Game Two

      Game Three

      Game Four

      Game Five

      ~Neshomeh

      • I am currently laughing. (nm) by 61516 on 2019-01-22 02:19:00 UTC Link to this
  • Steven Universe - Battle of Heart and Mind by World-Jumper on 2019-01-22 02:08:00 UTC Link to this

    Today, Steven Universe has aired their season five finale, Battle of Heart and Mind. An hour long special, this episode puts an end to this long, emotional season full of twists, turns, metaphors and head-scratching lore implacations. I know many of you at least casually watch the show, and I was curious as to your thoughts. How did you like it? What do you feel about certain revelations? Is Peridot best gem? I truly want to know your thoughts, if you would care to share them.

    • doctorlit reviews Contact by Carl Sagan (spoilers) by doctorlit on 2019-02-04 03:03:00 UTC Link to this

      (Just adding this to an existing review thread so I don't bump all the new threads that went up in the last twenty-four hours. Hope you don't mind, World-Jumper!)

      I remember for certain I watched the film adaptation of this back in high school AP Biology. I don’t remember why we watched it in a biology class, and I also don’t remember, uh, nearly anything from the movie. But when I saw a battered copy of Contact in a Goodwill, I decided it was time to add it to my list of known canons.

      Spoilers for Contact.

      I actually don’t know a whole lot about Carl Sagan beyond “scientist” and “writer.” From my perspective reading Contact in the 2010s, it feels like an alternate history, though of course, it was a speculative future when Sagan published it in 1985. And as a result . . . well, I feel sad that neither U.S. nor global culture has lived up to Sagan’s vision. Sagan presents a world with the U.S. has finally elected a woman to the presidency, where nuclear weapons are being scaled back, where space flight and exploration are becoming more and more commonplace, where the human species is becoming more of an identity than any national identity. It makes me feel like I’m living in the more backwards Earth. I hope things get closer to Sagan’s vision during my lifetime, but right now, I’m a bit pessimistic about the motivating power of human selfishness and fear.

      I’m having trouble ordering my thoughts about the idea of our species meeting a sentient one from another planet. Given my very Kingdom Hearts- and PPC-inspired outlook on life, I would personally love for our cultures to meet another and start to see a very different and unique outlook on life. But I’m not sure our species is ready for that; we’re not very good at accepting each other yet, so I feel like the encounter with an entire new species is just going to lead to a whole new variety of racism. And depending on the beliefs and culture of the other new species, that may get us involved in a conflict we don’t have any way of surviving.

      Mmm. I guess this isn’t much of a review, but I’m struggling to fins more to say. Anyone else have thoughts on this novel, or its movie?

      —doctorlit, being mopey about culture

      “Except only for a nearby supernova remnant in Cassiopeia, it was the brightest spoiler source in the skies of Earth.” “Except only for a nearby supernova remnant in Cassiopeia, it was the brightest spoiler source in the skies of Earth.”

    • Just watched it by Matt Cipher on 2019-01-22 18:23:00 UTC Link to this

      Also, HI JUMPER! LONG TIME NO SEE!

      But first, SPOILER WALL!


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      It was definitely an interesting finale, and if I didn't know season six was in the making, I'd find it a good closure for the series. The fusions, the revivals, the old and the new... maaan, I just got teary because in a way, Blue words in the beginning were so full of trans-people support undertones ("She prefers to be called Steven") versus White's confirmation of the already set norms... Ugh, that was just beautiful.

      Also, you've spelled Lapis Lazuli wrong, when mentioning best Gem, my friend :D

    • And of course, by that I meant Change Your Mind by World-Jumper on 2019-01-22 09:05:00 UTC Link to this

      I have no idea why I messed up the title of the episode. Oops.

      I have been sitting on my thoughts about this episode. I feel like I will need to ruminate and process even more to truly wrap my mind around it. It definitely was... Intense. To summarize my thoughts without spoilers, I really enjoyed what I saw, but can't help but feel... Disappointed? No, that's way too strong of a word. More... conflicted about certain plot points, that I'm not sure is fair to be conflicted about. Still, a beautifully animated episode of television that thrilled me from start to finish. If you are at all invested in Steven Universe, I not only recommend it but recommend going in as blindly as you can.

      Now, for my thoughts that require a bit more detail, and with it, spoilers.

      THIS IS YOUR SPOILER WARNING. SERIOUSLY, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU JUST WATCH THE EPISODE SPOILER FREE. I DON'T NORMALLY SAY THAT, SO KNOW THAT I'M SERIOUS.

      "It's over, isn't it?
      Isn't it?
      Isn't it over?"

      This episode feels like a series finale. In all likelihood, it isn't. There is a movie confirmed for release sometime in the fall, and I think there was confirmation of a sixth season, though I can't find it. Yet, it still feels like a finale, not just to season five, but the show as a whole. The Diamonds are beginning to heal as a family unit, and become more open-minded about those who are different. Steven has finally accepted that he is not Rose Quartz the rebel, nor Pink Diamond the dictator. He is, truly, Steven. Just Seven. We even have the corrupted gems of Earth, the greatest regret of Rose Quartz, finally healed. There are a few open spots in our understanding of the universe, but as far as the story of Steven Universe, the artistic point of the series, every single plotline is closed. Where could we possibly go from here?

      I have been stewing on this episode for a while. As much happened throughout that merits discussion, such as the exploration of a broken family through the Diamonds, or the dangers of perfectionism shown through White Diamond, or just how slick the new gem designs are, (My favorite is Lapis. Love the Atlantian, Greco-roman thing she has now) There is one moment that I just can't get past, and have been ruminating on this whole time.

      "You won and she chose you,
      And she loved you and she's gone."

      Pink Diamond is dead. Rose Quartz is dead. The personality that once inhabited the pink diamond gemstone is completely overwritten by that of Steven. In the climax of the episode, White Diamond pulled out the gemstone from Steven's body, demanding Pink Diamond re-form and stop lying about who she is. Yet, when the construct emerges from the diamond, it is not in the shape of Pink Diamond. It is not in the shape of Rose Quartz. Instead, we see Steven. The first shot is a split-screen perspective, showing White Diamond's room from human!Steven's eyes. He is weak and drained. He can't even stand, with all the energy taken from him. He may even be dying. Eventually, from the other side of the screen, which has been blurry and grey for now, is from the eyes of the pink projection from the gemstone. Here, it cannot be more clear. Steven and his gem are two halves of the whole system. If you were to describe him as a fusion, then it is a fusion in the same way the various cells in your body have fused together to make the organism that is you. Yet, just in case the audience had any lingering doubt, White Diamond insists that Pink stops messing around and turn back into her proper form, the way she should look. And what does gem!Steven say in response?

      SHE'S GONE!

      My mind reeled at this. Throughout the series, we had little hints that Rose was inside the gemstone, sleeping perhaps, protecting Steven subconsciously, but there. Dreams that were more than simple memories, but packed with symbolism and warning. There were moments you could practically hear her voice alongside Steven's as if she spoke, if not through him, then at least alongside him. Like the recursive Pearl's deep within her psyche, I thought that, if Steven were to dig deep enough, he might finally have that long-awaited conversation with his mother. He might, for once, get answers from the source. Perhaps, just share a hug. I never wanted Rose or Pink back for real, not a permanent character or anything, but to simply know that she's there. For the chance at that mother-son heart to heart, I've wanted for so long.

      "SHE'S GONE!"

      There is no more Pink Diamond. At most, all that's left are fragments of memories. Tiny bits of what once was, but truly is no more. If we are to use a hard drive as a metaphor, the gemstone that stored Pink Diamond the person was reconfigured, wiped clean for the new Steven. There may be lingering pieces of code, but nothing concrete, nothing that you could call a full file. To say I was taken aback is an understatement. In a world with this much magic, with the ability for the dead to walk again, with whole different persons within persons, to have Steven's mother be actually, truly, for real gone, with no possibility of ever re-surfacing... It hit me like a ton of bricks. I staggered back just as White Diamond did.

      Thinking more on it, I don't know what I expected. The show has said this much the entire time. "Steven, we can't both exist. I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me, loving you and loving being you. Because you're going to be something extraordinary. You're going to be a human being."

      Yet, with all of the little hints of a person inside him, to have all that storytelling potential just gone? I felt robbed. Yet, in a way, isn't that what losing a parent is like? Why death hurts so much? Everybody has further stories they can tell. Everybody has questions that only they can answer. Yet, one day, they will be gone. And there's no amount of meditation, or seances, or wishing, or begging, or pleading that's going to bring them back. You want to go back and talk to them one last time. You try to see the little pieces of them inside their descendants. You want to have just one last moment. One last time to say, "I love you."

      But you can't.

      She's gone.

      Forever.

      And you have to learn to deal with that.

      I have more thoughts on this episode, and I look forward to discussing them with you all. This is a heavy episode with a lot of meaning crammed into it. I chose to interpret this sequence as the final nail in Pink Diamond's coffin. Others have interpreted this as a metaphor for a trans individual confronting their past and abusive, close-minded family. But for now, that's all I have to say.

      If I could begin to be, Half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love...

  • Micro-plug: "Oldest", with Doctor Cornelius & friends. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 11:25:00 UTC Link to this

    "Boy!"

    Lorelei rolled her eyes hard and leant across the table. "First of all, I'm not a boy-"

    "I can't exactly call you 'man', can I?" Doctor Cornelius huffed. "Ridiculous!"

    "For this, I quit DUI?" Lorelei muttered. "Ugh, whatever. Secondly, I'm right here, there's no need to shout. And thirdly," she rapped her knuckles on the table, "we're off-duty; stop ordering me around."

    "Off-duty?" Doctor Cornelius seemed to swell up, almost floating out of his seat. "A true librarian is never off-duty! Why, any moment a rare book could cross your path, and-"

    "We're in a pub," Lorelei pointed out. "Books, maybe, but rare books?"

    "Don't you sass me, boy!" Doctor Cornelius snapped. "I'm the oldest agent, you know! I didn't stay with the PPC all these years so a mere child could-"

    "'scuse me." The young woman - though how Doctor Cornelius would describe her, Lorelei couldn't imagine - at the next table leant back in her chair, waving one hand. "Dr. Cornelius, isn't it? Did I just hear you say you're the... oldest agent?"

    "One hundred and ten today!" Doctor Cornelius confirmed, his chest puffing up under his beard. "Well, probably today - this place is a nightmare for timelines, you know."

    "You don't look a day over 90," the agent said with a smile. "But I don't think that makes you the oldest agent, I'm afraid."

    "What?!" If the doctor had swelled up before, he now seemed fit to burst. "I haven't given my life to the PPC just so I can be dismissed by-"

    "Nonono!" The agent threw up her hands. "No dismissing, promise! It's just that, well, there are agents quite a bit older than you."

    "Nonsense," Doctor Cornelius puffed. "Why, I daresay you couldn't show me a single one!"

    "Um." The agent tapped the arm of the taller woman next to her. "Selene? I think that's your cue."

    The second agent put down her glass - which, Lorelei noted, was filled with a very red liquid - and turned. "Selene Morgana Lilith Perdita X Windflower," she said, nodding to the doctor. "I think what Kaitlyn wants me to say is that I'm nearly..." She stopped, glancing at said partner. "You're just going to correct me if I bend the truth, aren't you?"

    "That's what I'm here for," Kaitlyn agreed, grinning.

    "Fine." Selene pushed a lock of hair back from her face, her fingers brushing over the brasswork implanted there. "Then I'm a little over two hundred and fifty." She looked at the doctor's reddening face, glanced away. "Like you say, precise calculations are tricky around here."

    "You think you have it bad?" A third woman (who, Lorelei noticed, had black hair just like Kaitlyn and Selene - she was starting to feel left out) ambled over. "I've spent half my life roaming around the time vortex, I can't even get my age to within a decade." She swung down into an empty chair and took a swig of her drink. "I've been 'about four hundred' since I joined the PPC."

    Selene nodded to the newcomer. "Agent Morgan," she said. "My partner's... I think she's trying to make her new friend here feel young." She frowned slightly, pursing her lips. "Or she's just nitpicking. Hard to tell."

    Morgan snorted. "If it's young you want, you should come visit the Continuity Council," she said. "Dis and the Agent won't tell me how old they actually are, but I know it's up around a thousand." Her lip twitched into a smile. "And Grey definitely should be twice that, even if she isn't."

    "Oh, I think we can do better than that." Kaitlyn got to her feet, then clambered onto her chair and waved vigorously. "Hey! Huinesoron! You're needed!"

    She slid back down into her seat and looked around at the others. "What? I needed him."

    A tall elf (whose brown hair was so dark it was almost - sigh - black) wove his way between the tables towards them. "Kaitlyn," he said, a hint of wariness in his face. "I'm guessing you're not about to offer me a drink."

    "Maybe in a minute," Kaitlyn said, grabbing his hand and pulling him over. "Doctor Cornelius, this is Huinesoron, from over in DOGA. He's just celebrated his two thousand, six hundred and twentieth birthday."

    "That's not-" Huinesoron shook his head. "That's just an estimate," he assured the doctor, "and it's not actually my birthday-"

    "Might be," Kaitlyn said stubbornly. "Anyway, I reckon that makes you older than anyone."

    Huinesoron tilted his head to the side. "Gurnirel and Naergondir over in SIELU might be older," he said. "They were born before me, we're pretty sure, but I waited longer to join the Protectors, so..."

    "And you can't say older than anyone," Morgan put in. "The Guardsman - over in Internal Affairs? - has definitely topped four thousand."

    "There's a draeni in Bad Slash who's passed eight," Selene proffered. "And I think- Kaitlyn, what are you doing?"

    Kaitlyn continued tapping at her communicator. "Oh, you know what I'm doing."

    "... please don't." Selene's fingers rapped on the tabletop. "Come on, Kaitlyn, there's no need to-"

    A portal opened between the tables, and a (yep) black-haired elf stepped out. "Priestess," he said, nodding to Kaitlyn. "Huinesoron. ... Selene."

    "Dafydd." Selene looked steadfastly down at her drink. "Hi."

    "Given that I've been summoned to a bar," Dafydd Illian said, looking around, "I'm going to assume 'dire emergency' is code for 'come have a drink."

    "Well, you're welcome to," Kaitlyn said, "but there really is an emergency. We're arguing about who the oldest agent is."

    Dafydd arched an eyebrow. "I'm not an agent any more."

    "You still count." Kaitlyn flicked her fingers towards him. "Come on, I remember your speech to the Grey Lady. 'I was born two thousand years before the Sun rose, and have lived through six Ages of-'"

    "I can't believe you still know that." Dafydd didn't quite wince. "It comes to 15,000 years, give or take." He glanced around the group, taking in Huinesoron (looking slightly awestruck), Morgan (slightly impressed), and Doctor Cornelius (slightly sick). "Do I win?"

    <<Er...>>

    A hazy form coalesced above the table, taking on roughly humanoid shape. It didn't really have enough detail to show hair colour, which at this point, Lorelei was happy to call a win. The group reacted with varying degrees of confusion, except for Morgan, who nodded politely, and Dafydd, who waved a greeting.

    "Fëamintë," he said, smiling. "What brings you here?"

    <<Your wife sent me,>> the Maia formerly known as Agent Vemi said. <<Something about running out on her?>>

    "She said there was an emergency," Dafydd pointed out, gesturing at Kaitlyn. "I'd never turn down an opportunity like that."

    <<She said something about chopping onions,>> Fëamintë noted. <<You should probably get back. But.>>

    Dafydd looked abruptly wary. "But?"

    <<But I was created ere Arda was sung,>> the Maia said softly, <<and walked with Oromë until we fought for the Children at Utumno.>> She held up one glowing hand, fingers outstretched. <<Time had little meaning in the ages of Lamps and Trees, but even by conservative estimate, that makes me over 44,000 Years of the Sun in age.>> She looked around the group, her eyes glowing with pale fire. <<I think that means I win.>>

    Dafydd chewed on his lip, then sighed and nodded. Most of the others looked on in awe or confusion-

    -except for Doctor Cornelius, who rose to his feet with a face like thunder. "You can't do this to me!" he declared. "I don't have to take this! I was the sixteenth agent, you know!"



    This story is somewhat inspired by Snowblaze, Zingenmir, and Iximaz. Mentioned agents who aren't mine remain the fault of their respective owners.

    hS

    • This was a nice story by Tomash on 2019-01-24 05:06:00 UTC Link to this

      It seems like the sort of thing that would happen in a bar somewhere in HQ.

      (The bit at the end with the sixteenth agent was funny, as was just the increasing parade of old agents.)

      For the record, Peregrin would like to slide in at the low end of that contest, at 24(8 or 9) (seeing as he was 242 when I got Permission)). The rest of my agents are all definitely not even in the running.

      - Tomash

      • Thanks! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-24 16:57:00 UTC Link to this

        I'm having fun playing around with 'stuff that could only happen in HQ' as my theme; hopefully I can keep coming up with new ideas!

        hS

    • Re: Age by Emiranlanoamar on 2019-01-24 02:37:00 UTC Link to this

      It always amuses me to note that the Continuity Council is so young. I think I'm older than the lot of them combined.

      -E

    • That was very, very fun :D (nm) by Zingenmir on 2019-01-23 15:57:00 UTC Link to this
      • Thanks! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 20:04:00 UTC Link to this

        I do mostly blame you, though. ^_~

        hS

        • Eh, that's fair. by Zingenmir on 2019-01-23 20:07:00 UTC Link to this

          There was a time when I was blaming you constantly for giving me ridiculous ideas, after all. I'm cool with it going both ways :P

          ~Z

    • Sixteenth still isn't the oldest!~ :P by Iximaz on 2019-01-23 15:01:00 UTC Link to this

      Unless he means the oldest still around.

      That was a fun read.

      ...And also really weird to know Ari might be the oldest listed agent on the wiki considering that she's young for a draenei. Prophet Velen is confirmed to be over 25,000 years old (since that's how long ago he took the draenei and fled their home planet) and was likely already fairly old before that happened, seeing as how he was one of the leaders of his people... Basically, lore is really iffy on how long exactly they can live, but a few times it's been thrown out that they're immortal barring accidents.

      • Oldest =/= longest serving. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 15:24:00 UTC Link to this

        The longest-serving agent in the PPC is of course Makes-Things, followed by Osbert (who was the fourth agent; Elizabeth and Anya are both dead). Doctor Cornelius is, as he frequently reminds everyone, the sixteenth - which is respectable, but there's several still around from before him. He's older than all of them, though - he has at least 20 years on Osbert, for instance.

        Now, whether he actually meant to claim to be oldest, age-wise, or whether he just slipped up (he's 110, after all) and refused to go back on it, is still entirely up for debate. ^_^

        hS

        • What about oldest (relatively)? by Iximaz on 2019-01-23 15:49:00 UTC Link to this

          Like how eighty would be old for a human but young for a Time Lord? (I'm not sure what species Doctor Cornelius is, so disregard if this is a silly idea.)

          • He might win that one! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 16:25:00 UTC Link to this

            He certainly acts like an old codger, and there's not a lot of other agents who do.

            Up till now I assumed he was human, but a 110 y.o. human running a library seems a bit of a statistical outlier. So maybe he's something else? Or maybe he's just very old.

            hS

    • Good to inspire someone! by Snowblaze on 2019-01-23 14:05:00 UTC Link to this

      Now I wish I'd made Edward and Kat spend tens of thousands of years in an ancient time loop. Only problem with that: they'd die of old age within days of reaching the PPC. Which would spoil it a little.

      I wouldn't be at all surprised, though, if there's someone from an ancient continuum hiding in the distant corridors of HQ who's been there for millions of years, so I wouldn't award a victory to anyone just yet...

      • Hey, she's retired anyway. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 14:48:00 UTC Link to this

        The actual current oldest agent is still to play for. My quick Wiki trawl didn't turn up anyone older than Ix's Arinellya, but there's enough literal immortals - organic or machine - in the multiverse that I wouldn't be at all surprised if we had one.

        Come to think of it, Agent Thoth is 'several thousand', which earns him second place on the current list (ahead of the Guardsman, but after Arinellya). Chliever is non-canon, but about the same age.

        Who else? Mel, Endomiel, and Ril-gania are DMFF agents of undefined age, but may be as old as Middle-earth in their own story, so ~54,000. Not confirmed, though. Rashida is 2400+, putting her on a par with Huinesoron and Zing's Caliquendi.

        Discounting Mel and her sisters (they're out-and-out Suvians, and definitely don't act like they've been around since the start of time), my top 10 list of confirmed oldest active agents is:

        1 Arinyella: ~8000 years
        2 Thoth: Probably 5000-10000.
        3 Guardsman: 4156.
        4&5 Gurnirel & Naergondir: ~2700.
        6 Huinesoron: 2620.
        7 Rashida: 2400
        8&9 The Agent & The Disentangler: 1000+
        10 The Notary: 682.

        After that there's a lot of people in the 200-400 range, who'll be night-impossible to sort out. And to be honest, all of the 'generic elf' types are probably 3000-odd - there don't seem to have been many elves born in the Third Age. But for actual hard numbers, that's what I've got. :)

        hS

        • Oh, dang, I forgot Mortic. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 16:35:00 UTC Link to this

          He's at least 4000, since he was around for the Biblical Exodus; he probably edges into third place.

          Bloomin' immortals.

          hS

        • Speaking for my literal immortal... by Neshomeh on 2019-01-23 15:47:00 UTC Link to this

          I have no idea how old Jenni is. ^_^; If you're only counting years spent incarnate (that I can account for), I'd guess she lands on the upper end of that 200-400 range? There are a few full, long lifetimes I'm aware of, and a much larger number of instances where she just showed up fully formed, hung around for a bit, and then presumably got bored finished what she was doing and left.

          'Course, in her home universe, she's existed since the beginning of time, and we pick up with humanity around a medieval-to-renaissance level of development, so...

          ~Neshomeh

          • Does she remember it all? by Huinesoron on 2019-01-23 16:35:00 UTC Link to this

            At this point, specifically - I'd think non-continuous lifetimes would mostly count if she can look back on all of them. If they're alternate versions that don't overlap with current-Jenni, I'm not sure they would.

            'The beginning of time' is a tricky one. Is that 14 billion years (science)? 60,000 (Middle-earth)? 8000 (the Belgariad)? Whatever it is, it seems like she's probably close to the top, possibly at the top of 'oldest active agents'.

            hS

            • Yup, she does. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-24 00:47:00 UTC Link to this

              I think it would make the most sense to only count time that can actually be contextualized with the physical reality of the world she (and her two brothers) are involved with, so we're looking more at geological time than cosmic time... and, actually, let's narrow it down further than that. I'm gonna go ahead and say, for the sake of argument, that the ability of the PTBs to conceptualize themselves as individuals has evolved more or less at the same rate as humanity's ability to conceptualize itself as a species, so we don't have to count all the time the PTBs spent as an amorphous, loosely defined "we" with no concern for or even perception of linear time. They've existed as distinct individual personalities with their own agendas concerning the material plane for (*checks Wikipedia*) something like 50,000 to 130,000 years.

              I reckon Jenni's the middle child, so call her 90,000 years old? Ish?

              ~Neshomeh

            • ...you know... by Agent Jacques Bonnefoy on 2019-01-23 20:11:00 UTC Link to this

              ...I never thought reading a discussion of agents' ages would make me feel *young*. 170-something, by the way. Age is a bit complicated, given the Time Agency, but we're talking a discrepancy of two to seven years, so it doesn't matter too much.

              Still, this is...interesting. Especially on a day when I was feeling very old.

              -J

              • YouÂ’re complaining about being old? by Agent Erica Ambrose on 2019-01-23 21:02:00 UTC Link to this

                Buddy, I’m a good two decades older than you. I’m practically cradle robbing at this point.

                But hey, if you ever want to make an old lady feel young again, you know where to find me. ;)

                ~E

                • You're both so adorable I could just eat you up. {= P by Jenni Robinson on 2019-01-24 00:52:00 UTC Link to this

                  Or we could all quit breaking the fourth wall and pretend this never happened. That way no one needs to feel weird about it!

                  There are reasons I don't advertise that I'm older than dirt, Author. Quit getting me into trouble!

                  ~Jenni

                  • And who are you? by Agent Erica Ambrose on 2019-01-24 00:58:00 UTC Link to this

                    Hey there—Erica Ambrose. You could say Jacques and I have a history. I think I've seen you around FicPsych before.

                    • Nurse Jennifer Robinson, at your service. by Jenni Robinson on 2019-01-24 01:08:00 UTC Link to this

                      It seems we have a friend in common. Or will have... the meta's still sorting itself out. Anyway, that's cool as long as you're not an Evil Ex or something.

                      Who're you seeing in FicPsych, since it's not me? The author wants to know, too.

                      ... Speaking of... Hey! Typists! If this is gonna turn into a role-play, can we get a setting and maybe some quotation marks, please? Undefined white space gets old fast.

                      • "That'd be Nurse Parwill." by Agent Erica Ambrose on 2019-01-24 02:34:00 UTC Link to this

                        "Nice guy, and I mean that in the neutral sense of the term," Erica said, swirling the contents of her drink. "Doesn't mind me coming in and staring at the floor for half our sessions. Sometimes it takes a while to get things out, you know?" She grinned, a little wryly. "And I'm not an evil ex. Evil twin might be a more accurate description. Minus the evil part, I hope. Can you see the spinoff resemblance?"

                        ((And it looks like we're in Rudi's!))

                        • "Ah, much better," Jenni murmured. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-24 18:56:00 UTC Link to this

                          She settled herself in her seat at the bar as the familiar interior of Rudi's took shape around her. Whether or not Erica noticed, she wasn't sure, and it wasn't important. Now she could go back to forgetting about the fourth wall and getting on with normal things.

                          Well, as normal as things got in HQ.

                          As Erica talked, she nodded and sipped her butterbeer (the most alcoholic thing she usually drank). At the other woman's last words, she tilted her head.

                          "Now that you mention it, yeah," she said, meaning it quite literally. "So you're like—I don't know if you've heard of Agent Paddlebrains, but she was a genderbent Sirius Black. You're a genderbent Jack Harkness?"

                          • "More or less." by Iximaz on 2019-01-24 20:20:00 UTC Link to this

                            "Kinda. Sorta. I guess." Erica twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "There are some other differences, too. I'm from some superhero game or other—my version of Rose could control plants. We had supervillains thrown in with the aliens. But yeah, I'm yet another Jack clone running around the multiverse."

                            • "That sounds confusing." by Neshomeh on 2019-01-26 04:18:00 UTC Link to this

                              "I'd ask if you want to talk about it, but I reckon I should leave that to Parwill." Jenni gave a sardonic smile. Resisting her hardwired urge to delve in and try to help was difficult, but over the years it had finally sunk in that interfering with someone else's patient was heavily frowned upon. "So, uh. How'd you meet Jacques? What was that like?"

                              • "...Interesting." by Iximaz on 2019-01-26 09:44:00 UTC Link to this

                                Erica gave Jenni a wry smile. "We didn't realize who the other was when we met. He invited me back to his place—I'm sure you can imagine what happened next." Her smile widened. "Not that it's stopped us since, mind. Though half the time we're together we end up squabbling. Don't get me wrong, he's great, but he also makes me wish I could strangle him."

                                • Jenni chuckled. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-26 15:26:00 UTC Link to this

                                  She thought but did not say, because it would make most people uncomfortable, that they definitely sounded like siblings. Instead, she said: "That'll happen when you're just alike enough for the differences to be really annoying. Funny how that works, isn't it? Like... like fics where they clearly know the canon, but they're messing it up in stupid ways anyway? Way more irritating than the ones that are just off-the-wall clueless, in my opinion."

                                  • Erica sighed and rubbed her temples. by Iximaz on 2019-01-26 17:06:00 UTC Link to this

                                    "I mean, if you met yourself, you'd argue a lot, too, wouldn't you? I mean, if everyone is their own worst critic, and then you suddenly have that staring you in the face rather than staying in your head..." She shrugged and swirled her martini. "But then again, on the other hand, he gets me. Makes for a nice change."


                                    ((Yeah, if Jenni had said that out loud, Erica would have definitely choked on her drink... X'D))

                                    • "Hm, I can imagine." by Neshomeh on 2019-01-27 04:12:00 UTC Link to this

                                      Jenni sipped her drink a moment, thinking many things. For one, Powers forbid she should ever meet a clone or alternative version of herself. She wasn't sure it was even possible—what she was obliged to describe as other lives in other worlds had all happened to her, just under variant conditions. Currently, conditions allowed her to remember all of them, even the ones that explicitly had not happened to anyone else involved, and she could even put most of them in a linear order if pressed. The idea of a version of herself that was both her and yet also other was profoundly disturbing in a way that she hadn't expected. She just couldn't rationalize it for herself in the way that a strictly linear, strictly material being could.

                                      "Well, Jacques is definitely not you," she declared, "nor vice versa, and neither of you is Jack Harkness. You're all your own people. Of that, you can be sure. For one thing, either of the boys would have been hitting on me by now." She gave Erica a teasing half-smile.

                                      • Erica gave her a slow smile. by Iximaz on 2019-01-27 08:05:00 UTC Link to this

                                        "Hey, there's a time and a place, and you seemed like you wouldn't have appreciated it," she said. She leaned in slightly, raising her eyebrows. "If you'd rather I hit on you, that can certainly be arranged."

                                        • Jenni laughed. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 17:09:00 UTC Link to this

                                          "Well, what's not to appreciate?" A flick of her eyebrows confirmed that yes, she did mean it that way.

                                          It briefly crossed her mind that, should this go forward, people might think she had some sort of collector fetish or something, but frankly, if people couldn't mind their own business and got the wrong idea because of it, they could go jump in a lake.

                                          (( So this is featuring in the next Multiverse Monitor, then. {; P ))

                                          • JENNI ROBINSON'S HARKNESS HOOKUPS by The Multiverse Monitor on 2019-01-28 20:00:00 UTC Link to this

                                            Inside the FicPsych nurse's affairs with multiple Jack Harkness replacements—and the canon himself! (page 11)


                                            Nurse Jennifer Robinson's sordid past is hardly a secret among those who follow the Monitor's reportings, but recently she has begun taking things to new heights. After allegedly kidnapping Captain Jack Harkness himself for a coffee date and a night of rough sex, the naughty nurse has gone on a collecting spree among HQ's Harkness look-alikes.

                                            First there was none other than Jacques Bonnefoy (ESAS), a dashing man with a voice like an angel's. Formerly a Sue's object of desire, it seems he has found a new Sue upon which he can shower his affections. In an attempt to recreate her night with the canon himself, Robinson invited Bonnefoy on a coffee date as well. One can only speculate how their night ended, but the two were spotted leaving the café together, arm in arm and whispering excitedly. Rumors abound that they have already made plans for a second date. We can only hope Bonnefoy isn't the type to get jealous of himself, because Robinson wasn't done yet!

                                            She was later spied talking to Erica Ambrose (ESAS), a relative newcomer to the roster of raunchy agents. While not a Harkness replacement per se, Ambrose is said to be an expy of the Time Agent, and indeed the two look nearly identical, right down to the cleft chin (which, while quite dashing on a man, is much less flattering on her). Not that this seemed to deter Robinson, who indeed initiated the flirting between the pair; a highly suspicious occurrence considering Ambrose's origins. Ambrose returned the advances eagerly, though, and the two have made plans to meet again.

                                            Does Bonnefoy know Robinson is going behind his back to sleep with his female counterpart? Does he not care? It would not be out of character for him; as we reported in last month's issue, he and the changeling Dax (Crossovers) are infamous for hosting their inter-departmental orgies. Perhaps we will shortly be seeing Robinson get together with Bonnefoy and Ambrose at the same time, possibly even with the changeling wearing Harkness' face for good measure. After all, it's said that their old player created them with none other than Harkness in mind; if Robinson wanted to collect the 'full set', as they say, it's only a matter of time before she'll turn up for a visit to Crossovers.

                                            • The next day, a message arrived at the MM's main office. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 23:14:00 UTC Link to this

                                              CONGRATULATIONS!

                                              The staff of the Multiverse Monitor have won a FREE TRIP to beautiful Lake Fuggoff! Transportation to this choice resort spot is included. Participants are responsible for their own return.*

                                              For further details, please contact Travel Agent Goa Way at goaway.console.m1n6y0ur0wn64mn8u21n322.rc74k34h1k3.DO

                                              *Tickets not available for purchase on-site.

                                              (( That was perfect. {X D ... And no, an eventual 3- or 4-way would not surprise me in the least. >.> ))

                                              • *cackles* by Iximaz on 2019-01-29 01:30:00 UTC Link to this

                                                I take it that means Jenni liked the article! :P

                                          • "Well, so far..." by Iximaz on 2019-01-28 19:38:00 UTC Link to this

                                            Erica looked Jenni up and down and grinned. "I'm not seeing anything. Would you mind terribly if I appreciated you a little more? Actually—" She half-turned to the bar. "Can I buy you a drink?"

                                            • "Oh, go on, then." Jenni winked. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 23:38:00 UTC Link to this

                                              "I have the worst head for alcohol, but... I heard they got a supply of 1420 Shire beer in a couple weeks ago. I wouldn't say no to a canon delicacy like that, if they're not sold out by now." She glanced at Erica's glass. "What about you? May I return the favor?"

                                              • "Thanks, but it would be wasted on me." by Iximaz on 2019-01-29 01:34:00 UTC Link to this

                                                Erica slid a couple of pound coins across the bar as she spoke. "One of the side effects of my particular brand of immortality—I can't get drunk. Well... not for long, anyway. Certainly not for lack of trying. My healing factor just flushes it all out of my system."

                                                • Jenni tilted her head, perplexed. by Neshomeh on 2019-01-29 15:14:00 UTC Link to this

                                                  "That... is so not the point."

                                                  She half-stood in her seat and flagged down the bartender. "Hey, Ren? Can we get two Uncle Elronds here? Thanks!"

                                                  "The point," she added to Erica, smiling, "is a nice gesture toward mutual conviviality. And this one is officially on me."

                                                  (( There is a surprising dearth of fictional beverages that aren't soda or beer and don't have stupid names. Therefore, I made up a sort of cross-continuum cocktail you could only get in the PPC. The Uncle Elrond is jasmine tea with a drop of miruvor [a bit expensive!], and will arrive in two to three minutes due to steeping time. ))

                                                  • Erica smiled. by Iximaz on 2019-01-30 00:16:00 UTC Link to this

                                                    "In that case... thank you," she said. "Guess I've sort of forgotten just drinking for the sake of it."

              • PS: What was that about other Harknesses?? (nm) by Agent Jacques Bonnefoy on 2019-01-23 20:12:00 UTC Link to this
  • Friday Forum: Here we go again... by Huinesoron on 2019-01-25 10:24:00 UTC Link to this

    Yep, three weeks in a row... look, as long as I keep making 4 Clerics art, you're going to keep having to endure these. ^_^

    Fandom News



    IO9

    They're making an adaptation of H.P.Lovecraft (yes, the Cthulhu guy)'s The Colour Out of Space, apparently starring Nicholas Cage. I'm not... really convinced you can make a film about an unimaginable colour, but judging by the teaser, the 'space' in question is Guardians of the Galaxy, so I'm sure they'll be fine.

    Old News



    Yesterday in 1966, Indira Gandhi (who, no, was no relation to Mahatma Gandhi) took up her post as first and - so far - only woman Prime Minister of India. She was a fairly controversial figure, and was ultimately assassinated (by her own bodyguards!) in 1984, during her second period in office.

    New News



    BBC

    The US government shutdown continues to drag onwards, with two separate Senate votes to end it failing. Apparently the Republicans in the Senate are starting to fracture, with six voting for the Democrat-proposed bill, but that still hasn't been enough.

    The entire shutdown is pretty much an attempt by Trump to hold the USA to hostage until congress does what he wants, which I'm pretty sure isn't how government is supposed to work, and is also absolutely crashing his poll ratings. But that doesn't help the nearly a million people who aren't getting paid because of it.

    PPC News



    Inspired by various events, the Board of Department Heads has convened a committee to provide an official definition of 'woman'. The Thistle's initial proposal, based on humanoid biology, quickly ballooned to enormous size under caveats and details insisted on by Doctor Fitzgerald. Before the Lichen's plan to expand it to include non-humanoids could be started, the Sub Rosa pointed out that she is most definitely a woman, but not for biological reasons.

    The Hippie Sequoia undertook to craft a cultural-based definition, but was stymied by the wide variation even between human societies. The Flowering Leek's option of 'a living thing' was ruled out, first on the basis that it was trains-exclusionary (Joan of DAS-AWAY was very put out), and second by a visit from former agent Fëamintë, who claimed that 'thing' was material-focussed and neglected non-corporeal beings.

    At present time, the committee has over 50 members, and is deep in a debate on whether the indefinite article 'a' is offensive to hive minds which could be classed as women. The Fern, acting as chairflower-in-absentia, is reported to be 'optimistic' and 'laughing a lot'.

    Clerical News



    DeviantArt

    The Holy Order of the Bumblebee has encountered a creature first seen in one of the PPC Hunger Games: the arabesque, filigreed, Kaladesh-inspired dragon!

    WIS: "It's working, ladies! Stick to the plan!"
    CON: "Given that my part of the plan is 'bore it into submission', I'm not optimistic. Also slightly offended."
    INT: "I need -- to learn stronger -- binding spells!"
    CHA: "I need to get levels in something less kinky…"

    (With stained glass windows inspired by this, and by Tolkien.)

    hS

    • I got inspired to make an Order of the Bumblebee spinoff by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-27 00:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Taking advantage of the "alternate cast stat" feat that Phobos mentioned and also a ton of Unearthed Arcana stuff, I present to you the Knights of the Twisted Windowpane! Or the Guild of Knights of the Mind, if you prefer Sakura's ability to name things. The Knights are split between two factions: the Knights of Hope and the Knights of Fear. Here they are:

      Knights of Hope:
      - Cass - Sorcerer (Wild Magic)/Bard (College to be determined). Cast Stat: Int. Quote: "My quest exists not in any dungeon, but within me."
      - Myla - Cleric (Light domain). Cast Stat: Cha. Quote: "As the herald of the Lichtgods, I must spread the gospel of light!"
      - Sakura - Sorcerer (Stone Sorcery). Cast Stat: Wis. Quote: "The truth must be known, and lies uncovered, at all costs."
      - Jacqueline - Fighter (Scout). Style: Two-weapon. Quote: "I will fight alongside you, for honor, for adventure, and most definitely for my friends."
      - Elinya - Sorcerer (Divine Soul). Cast Stat: Wis. Quote: "I can do anything with my own special magic!"

      Knights of Fear:
      - Aldegund - Warlock (Homebrew patron, use your imagination.) Cast stat: Cha. Quote: "It is my fate to reign and carry the torch of my patron."
      - Scarlet - Sorcerer (Storm Sorcery). Cast Stat: Cha. Quote: "An apprentice of the storm, in darkness I was forged."
      - Teyori - Wizard (Artificer). Cast Stat: Int. Quote: "I'm not evil, I'm just burning with passion! Get it?"

      The chronological order of the Knights' "existence" is as follows: Elinya, Jacqueline, Scarlet, Sakura, Teyori, Aldegund, Myla, and finally Cass, who is me as I am now. However, just for a frame of reference Board-wise, y'all have already experienced Myla and the very tail end of Aldegund (I'm sorry you had to see her).

      Maybe the Kaitlyns could meet the Twisteys? Or meet the good Twisteys and help them defeat the villainous Twisteys? That'd be interesting. Anyway, art coming soon!

      -Twistey

      • Fun! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-28 09:20:00 UTC Link to this

        If I wind up putting myself in, it'll probably be as a set of mages, so I'm really intrigued by the Wizard (Artificer) class for Teyori. I assume it's from the Unearthed Arcana material? Got any more details?

        It's certainly possible that the Holy Order might run into one batch or the other of the Knights (though if I tried to draw all of both groups together it would slay me). Obviously that relies on official art for the Knights to base them on... :)

        hS

        • Here's a description of Cass while I work on the art... by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-30 14:52:00 UTC Link to this

          Cass (the sorcerer/bard, current me) has short hair parted slightly left-to-right (yes that's a significant detail, don't ask), and she wears a green tunic with a high neck, a pair of dark grey leggings, a green stone amulet on a gold chain, and brown knee-high boots with the tops folded over. Over all of this is a long black hooded robe worn open and with the hood down, and over that is a brown belt. The robe has embroidery on the sleeves and lower hem that consists of a thin golden stripe on the edge and a green stripe (on the sleeves) or a green design of thorny vines braided together.

          -Twistey

        • I played alongside an Artificer back in 3.5... by 61516 on 2019-01-28 19:23:00 UTC Link to this

          ... it was its own class back then, and could make all sorts of magic items. You could theoretically get spells from any list with that under 3.5 rules. Eberron was the best.

          • That's pretty cool. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-30 14:41:00 UTC Link to this

            What do you think of the Artificer now (the UA version), based on what's said in the PDF that got linked to?

            -Twistey

            • I prefer the original by 61516 on 2019-01-30 23:04:00 UTC Link to this

              The Eberron Artificer had a certain charm none of the UA versions have, mostly because it meshed well with the setting. I also enjoyed its extreme versatility, and the amazing synergy of the warforged (effectively a playable magic item) and the Artificer (the magic item god). I played a warforged fighter, and I tag-teamed with the Artificer in the party to great effect. I once wrestled a dragon.

              • That's amazing. *clapping* (nm) by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-01 14:33:00 UTC Link to this
                • To be fair... by 61516 on 2019-02-02 01:54:00 UTC Link to this

                  ... that wasn't related to the Artificer, my character was just a complete badass. I started the game with double the hit points of any other party member, and I once bull-rushed a gibbering mouther to the floor, because the rules didn't say I couldn't. (A gibbering mouther is a blob of eyes muscle and teeth.)

                  Me and the Artificer also represented the moral half of the party, the Changeling psion being abrasive and self-interested, and the Elf ranger having ruined his brain with centuries of drug use and consequently making very bad decisions. (He broke one of the early villains out of jail because he had fallen in love with her.)

                  • Snrk, I love this by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-02 23:18:00 UTC Link to this

                    My campaign was the same way for a while: the other Elf wizard and I were the only ones who didn't help kill the king and his older son. The Aasimar warlock was doing it for his patron, the human rogue was doing it for greed, the Half-Orc paladin was doing it because he and the rogue were BFFs and he would always do what the rogue said, and the Halfling bard had no clue what he was doing wrong. It was great.

                    -Twistey

                    • Bonus by 61516 on 2019-02-03 00:03:00 UTC Link to this

                      The ranger married that villain at the end of the campaign. Also, 61516 was the name of a warforged in that, but not the one I played. That was the first layer of the origin of my name.

        • Yeah, the Artificer does in fact come from UA. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 16:32:00 UTC Link to this
          1. The Artificer is kind of potion-centric. I figured this worked considering that Teyori is me from when I was obsessed with the one Stephen King book I'd read at the time (The Eyes of the Dragon) and its villain, Flagg. I have a tendency to obsess over villains sometimes. (My friend even shipped me with him and then it caught on). I made Teyori the apprentice of a Flagg-equivalent, true to the origin story I came up with of how I met him, and it therefore makes sense because Flagg exhibits little to no magic powers, but instead relies a lot on alchemy to get things done.

            You can find the Unearthed Arcana documents on their page on the D&D 5e Wiki.

            2. AHMWORKINONITDONTCHUWORREH! D8

            -Twistey
        • It is indeed! by Scapegrace on 2019-01-28 09:33:00 UTC Link to this

          Have a link to the PDF with the rules for the subclass therein. =]

      • In similar vein... by Scapegrace on 2019-01-27 05:26:00 UTC Link to this

        Here's a six-stack party, known from the Realms to the Reaches as Wanted: Dead Or Deader Enemies of His Majesty Balazebal the Last, Ever-King and High Lord of Meadowkeep the League of the Weald.

        ---

        Sander Truman (Paladin, Oath of Vengeance, Str): Truman came to his devotional orders comparatively late in life, after having been a loyal servant of King Balazebal the Last for several decades and becoming the seneschal of one of the Ever-King's Outer Orders, the parades of mounted knights that kept the peace of Meadowkeep. He became struck with both religious visions and deep disillusionment with the rule of the Ever-King, and now walks the Grass Sea in a harness of thick platemail, bringing Forgiveness to bear against his newfound foes. Yes, that's a Discworld reference. However, he does not channel his divine powers through heroic speeches and suchlike, as do so many other paladins; Sander is a man of action, and uses sheer strength of arm to channel the powers of his god into the Material Plane. As might be gathered from this, he's not the healing kind of paladin. Much more the "smite everything in a wide radius" kind.

        Cassandra Jane (Rogue, Arcane Trickster, Dex): While Sander merely adopted life as an outlaw in the Grass Sea, Cassandra was born in it. Moulded by it. She dashes and dances through the huge plains, her sheer speed and fluid movement hiding the Dancer spells that have kept the Free Peoples safe from the wrath of the Ever-King and his forces. Well, safe-ish. The movements of her long knives through the air form runes of power that cast forth the raw power of magic against her enemies. She is unaware of Sander's past as a leader of the Outer Orders, and perhaps that is for the best.

        Young Cassie (Cleric, Life Domain, Con): Being any kind of cleric, aside from as part of the Faith of the Ever-King, is a risky business in the lands ruled by Balazebal the Last. The other gods, the old ways, they are a threat to the Ever-King's power over the Grass Sea, and as such he has declared that those who worship them openly to have forfeited their right to citizenship and clemency. Despite this, and despite having been captured at a very tender age and imprisoned for her crimes in the White Rooms of the Everhold, Young Cassie is secure in her faith. She was kind to the other victims, tending their wounds and easing their pains and passings. After ten years, the maximum sentence under the Ever-King's inviolable law for one of her age when sentenced (and he's as draconian with his own forces as he is with his subjects), she was thrown out into the world with a dirty shift and more scars than a regiment of soldiers. She made her living wandering the world, using her divine magic to try and heal the world around her and make it just that bit more bearable for everyone else. She learned to cast her spells through iron-hard patience and resolute resistance to pain; perhaps there are easier ways, but these are the ones she knows, and her flagellant's knotted lash makes a more than serviceable morning-star as well when she's forced into a fight.

        Dr. Cassiopeia (Wizard, Lore Master, Int): The caravans of Free Peoples aren't often home to academics; knowledge, especially of the arcane, is tightly restricted by the Ever-King. The good Doctor, however, is an exception. A willowy woman wearing a scholar's robes and fussy little spectacles, she's far more devious than her scatterbrained-professor image suggests. A long-time though subtle dissident, she completed all stages of her thaumaturgical education and proceeded to fake her own death twenty years ago in an unfortunate Fireball accident that demolished her laboratory. She's been living with the Free Peoples ever since, her eladrin heritage now able to be displayed freely without fear of reprisals from the Ever-King's various Orders. The Outer Orders might bear sword and lance and burning brands, but the City Orders wield terror and paranoia like a subtle knife.

        The Witch of the Heath (Druid, Circle of Dreams, Wis): The most obviously inhuman of the League's members - and by definition the one whose appearance must be the most heavily disguised, whether as a human or as a slave - the Witch desires no name beyond her title. She hails from the Realms, on the northern borders of the great Grass Sea, whose great cities and rugged landscape are beyond the reach of the King's Seal... for now. She embarked early in her life upon a vision quest through the Grass Sea, and moved from hill to hill becoming one with with the world around her. She is a firbolg, and tall for her kind, reaching over eleven feet tall when she stands unbowed. She rarely does, though, preferring to hide under voluminous hard-wearing countrywomen's clothes. She holds a connection to the Feywild, known to her and her people as the Other Place, and uses it to salve wounds and soothe souls within the battered bands of Free Peoples after skirmishes with Balazebal's forces. Her staff is bedecked with charms and fetishes that aid her in drawing upon the power of the Other Place. Of particular note in this regard is the enormous flint hagstone lashed to the top; not only is it a direct, if small, gate to the Feywild, it allows her to use that staff as an eminently serviceable warhammer when a suitable occasion arises, such as if a knight of the Outer Orders is charging at her in full platemail with callous disregard for his own safety or the integrity of his spine.

        CJ (Warlock, Great Old One Patron, Pact of the Tome, Cha): The lissom and androgynous CJ likes to think they cut a mysterious figure. Indeed, they like to think it makes them an interesting prospect, as does the tight leggings, corset, and other items of clothing that involve simultaneously too much black leather and a grossly insufficient amount of same. Their face is painted with kohled eyes, their hair spiked into elaborate patterns, their manicured nails alternating between night-black and rich red. It's a dark appearance, and yet, their aasimar heritage comes from the same life-giving goddess that inspires Young Cassie's faith. CJ likes to think they're a master of witty repartee as well, words cutting like the rapier at their hip that hangs from three sword belts at once. The League lets them have their fun, though, because the rest of the League knows what's under the piratical shirt. Young Cassie and them are more alike than either dares admit to the other. Both bear scars from the Ever-King's White Rooms, though poor CJ doesn't sport as many on their flesh. No, their scars are mental, born from bombardment with mind-shattering magics in an attempt to make them into an agent of the Last King. Their wings were torn from their back and the wounds burned with hot irons. As their mind failed, though, some vast and nameless THING reached out through space and time and gently touched their psyche, letting them escape with a morsel of the THING's power. That was what took them back from the edge of despair at their mutilated body. What took them there was the message burned into skin and soul and brain, each letter screaming loud as a clash of armies in her head: You Volunteered.

        ---

        Hope this is interesting. =]

        • I should've realised you'd do this. ^_^ by Huinesoron on 2019-01-28 11:03:00 UTC Link to this

          Interesting! I like how you've not just used different casting stats, but also put each of them into a different class. It really does show how variable purportedly-similar characters can be.

          I confess a certain surprise that you haven't given your costume-design tendencies free rein here; I would've thought intricate details of six matching-but-different outfits would be right up your tree! ^_^

          hS

          • My dear sir, these are adventurers. by Scapegrace on 2019-01-28 14:11:00 UTC Link to this

            They wear whatever gives them the best bonus. I could detail the wardrobe of each member, but it would be discarded without a second thought the moment they came across magic armour pieces. That's just how this sort of thing works. =]

            • Well that makes drawing them rather difficult. ;-P (nm) by Huinesoron on 2019-01-28 14:52:00 UTC Link to this
              • Yeah, I know. Sorry. I was being facetious. =] by Scapegrace on 2019-01-30 22:25:00 UTC Link to this

                It really do be like that sometimes, though. =]

                Content Warning: SELF-HARM, BLOOD, TORTURE REFS

                ---

                Sander Truman: There are those that think that a full plate harness makes the wearer slower than an arthritic snail carrying very heavy shopping. This is not so, and Sander is only too happy to teach them the error of their ways. It's still very tough, though, which suits him just fine. The armour itself is made in a style recognizable to an observer from our world as Italian white armour, but with some notable differences. His helmet looks more like an English-style three-barred lobster-tail helmet; its open face trades protection for visibility, a far more valuable asset for an unmounted adventurer in the Grass Sea. The gorget of his armour is rather thicker than normal, perhaps to protect against vampires. The pauldrons are unique in that they are asymmetrical: the left pauldron is large and having a raised ridge to aid face protection, while the right is more of a rerebrace, composed as it is of close-fitting separate bands that let the wearer's right arm be more mobile. The cuirass, or combined breast- and backplate, closes at the side in a modern style rather than at the back, as is more common in cheaper harnesses made for the rank and file of, say, large cavalry organizations. The fauld and tassets hang over a mail skirt, as does the culet or bum-plate. It's not vital, I just like the term bum-plate. The cuisses and greaves are single pieces of thick steel, with the knees covered by articulated banded poleyns that connect greave to cuisse; a thing of note about the poleyns is that each one's outermost plate has had something snapped off it and the subsequent mark filed down. Finally, since he is unmounted, he doesn't wear sabatons, instead opting for thick chocolate-brown leather boots with mail sewn into them that come up to about mid-calf. Oddly for something as obviously expensive as a tailored plate harness, it's almost entirely free from decoration, with what little there is only visible in the right light due to its having been diligently and painstakingly filed off. Those who know Sander's history with the Outer Orders know why it was filed off, and what that decoration was in the first place; they're keeping schtum about it and so should you. In contrast to the burnished but plain steel armour, Forgiveness is a work of art. It's a two-handed greatsword made of what someone from our world would immediately recognize as Damascus steel, the flowing patterns within the metal obviously not hailing from the armouries of Meadowkeep, even those of master weaponsmiths who would otherwise have outfitted someone of Sander's rank within the Outer Orders. The most obvious indication of it being foreign to the Grass Sea, however, is its shape: it is a flammenschwert, its blade wavy almost to the point of looking like a giant, straight-bladed breadknife. The crossguard is wide and thick, and the sword features a pronounced ricasso with parrying hooks as seen in the picture linked. Only Sander knows why this beautiful instrument of killing is called Forgiveness, and he's not telling.

                Faceclaim: David Threlfall in Midwinter of the Spirit (right)

                Cassandra Jane: Where Sander is decked out in the armour of the Outer Orders and, by extension, of Balazebal the Last, Cassandra Jane wears the traditional garb of the Free Peoples. She wears a flannel short-sleeved tunic, mid-grey in colour and decorated with a pattern similar to our world's tartan; the pattern is in lighter greys and blacks, and a reasonable reference may be found here. It's pinned at the left breast with an ornate bronze brooch in the shape of a horseshoe, long the unofficial symbol of the Free Peoples. It's useful for letting the other bands recognise each other in the Grass Sea, otherwise there'd probably be a lot more infighting and accidental skirmishes. Over her tunic, she sports a heavily adapted and decorated buff coat, liberated as a trophy from a cavalry commander of an Outer Order. The once plain tan leather has been dyed pitch-black and decorated with shimmering hagflints - round flints with holes worn in them by the passage of time or some other strange force, each one a little portal to the Feywild - that are sewn into the sleeves and along the front like brass buttons on a Royal Order officer's smart red coat. She wears it open most of the time. Like so many woman warriors of the Free Peoples, Cassandra favours a baggy trouser; hers are a dark grey, the colour of a storm cloud. Her dark brown leather sword belts are worn at the waist, each featuring just one sword each, which is very unusual. Normally, warriors of the Free Peoples carry a few different daggers as well; a sword won't do against every opponent, particularly the plate mail of a Knight of the Last King. Her power, though, is not just with swords, but magic as well. Thus she uses twin blades named Oath and Promise that look like our world's smallswords, their dextrous nature and fine points making them ideal for channeling her magic. Her flowing movements and precise carving of runes into the air form spells that burn and blast and shatter, and it is these that have kept her band safe from the predations of the Outer Orders for years. The final part of note is her elaborate facepaint, done on the eve of battle to help her channel her power and her warrior spirit. It's picked out in an ash grey and is a quite complex design, giving her a hawklike appearance.

                Faceclaim: Lee-Anne Liebenberg in Doomsday (here)

                Young Cassie: Cassie is a devout priestess and worshipper of Olwyn, the queen of the dawn and enemy of death. While the Ever-King holds all faiths other than the worship of himself to be the utmost heresy, he reserves a special hatred for gods like Olwyn; Balazebal's power is derived from death, from the Black Veil that cuts this world away from others, and gods of healing from any pantheon are absolute anathema to the Veil. Thus was Young Cassie's underground sect arrested by the Outer Orders and taken to the White Rooms to be brutalized for a decade. Being in there honed her connection to Olwyn out of desperation, as she healed herself and the only family she'd ever known over and over again. Once out in the world again, the only way she could channel the power of her goddess was through her own suffering, so entangled were the two things in her head. Despite Olwyn herself trying to heal this poor girl, keeping her in the bloom of youth for eighty years now, Young Cassie cannot heal her mind; she merely heals others, and uses her blood and pain to do it. She wears a simple, sleeveless, unembroidered tunic dress that reaches to her knees. It's a pale grey in colour and seems far too thin and short to properly keep the cold out during the winter months. One peculiar note is that the dress is also backless; she removed the panel because it was just getting in the way of her scourging. Her lash is a homemade thing, a black leather handle attached to a sheaf of long pig-iron chains; it never leaves her hands, even when she's asleep, and yet still has no name. The heavy chains themselves are bad enough, but some enterprising soul sought to attach heavy iron cubes filled with lead to the ends. It's these that cause the real damage, and when she works herself into a frenzy of self-mortification, these cause the wounds that take her longest to heal. A day or two at most, despite the flying blood that flecks her gown and leaves the sides speckled with rust-coloured spots. She wears little else than this backless dress; only a baggy burlap hood with crude eye-holes hacked into the fabric. The hood is undyed brown cloth, but still manages to be red at the edges. Draw your own conclusions.

                Faceclaim: Danielle Harris in Hatchet III (TW: blood)

                Dr. Cassiopeia: The Doc's not just a wizard, she's a historian; a student of ancient lore with both a long memory and a gift for copying the contents of spellbooks while nobody's looking. As such, she wears the robes of a scholar of magic. These robes are reminiscent of our world's panling lanshan, the traditional robes of the Chinese imperial scholar-bureaucrat. The good Doctor's robes are a voluminous affair, with wide, hanging sleeves that trail two feet down. The whole affair gives her the appearance of some kind of sailing ship, especially when she's in a hurry. The robes themselves are a dark grey, with the collar, cuffs, and edges trimmed in a pale blue to represent her study of higher-order arcana. The robe's sleeves are delicately embroidered in pale blue with a pattern of elaborate spirals and knots, each one representing a different spell she has mastered. The knotwork reaches up to her shoulders. Her robe is fastened by a wide and very long broadcloth belt knotted about the waist; it's the same shade of blue as the robe's trim, and the trailing tails of the belt are pinned in place by a silver horseshoe brooch. Completing the look is her long dark hair pinned back in a fashionable style with small wire-rimmed spectacles on her face. Underneath her robe she wears a long-sleeved shift dress of black velvet; upon her feet she wears black button boots of soft, stitched leather, a far cry from the hobnailed boots of her compatriots among the Free Peoples. Eladrin always were ones for the touch of class...

                Faceclaim: Embeth Davidtz in Matilda (You knew who this was gonna be from the film title. Also bung some pointy ears on.)

                The Witch of the Heath: First things first: the Witch is a firbolg. She's eleven feet tall. She's not exactly overburdened with clothing options. Still, she cuts quite a shambolic figure even by those low, low standards. Her pile of thick, curly hair spills down to the hollow of her back and has the same dark green colour as an old oak leaf. Her clothes are patched and mended and smell like dirt and growing things, which is probably to be expected considering her occupation as a druid. She wears an enormous grey cloak, held on with a clasp made not of metal but living wood, complete with leaves and berries sprouting from it. The thing is simple homespun cloth in sufficient quantity to act as a tent for anyone of conventional human size. It also features a hood, though when she wears it she looks like a pile of boulders with a load of vines hanging off them. Underneath, she wears a simple dark brown smock dress that's absolutely festooned with pockets, patches, and pouches of interesting stuff. It's worrying just how much stuff she has on her person at any given time, from old bits of string to interesting mushrooms to spell components to waterskins the size of a lamb that smell suspiciously of really, really strong booze. In similar vein, she carries around an enormous backpack full of... well, full of the things that won't fit in any of her pockets or pouches. On her feet are enormous gumboots that look like they'd be able to survive a direct hit from a ballista, and on her front is a heavy-looking leather apron with several arrows stuck in the front pocket. Finally, there's her staff Long Walk, which (as covered in the intro post for the party) is a huge slab of bog-oak from the marshy up-country of the Reaches. Fourteen feet long before we even get to the enormous granite hagstone lashed to the top with thick sisal rope, it's covered in so many charms, fetishes, and totems of magical power that it practically constitutes a flail, or possibly a shop. Given the size of the portal into the Feywild she's carrying around on the top of her staff, some might consider it overkill to have even more sources of power. Those people have never had to organize a fighting retreat from an entire Outer Order of heavy cavalry intent on butchering everyone in your band. A lot of blood was spilled that day.

                Faceclaim: Jessie Cave in Various Harry Potter Films I'm Not Sure Where This Still's From Probably Half-Blood Prince (Except, y'know, a firbolg.)

                CJ: CJ's outfit was already described in their intro post, with their mix of greys, blacks, and reds. They did name their sword, though. It's a rapier, a proper cup-hilted design but with the long blade in the style of our world's espada ropera, the Renaissance progenitor of what we call a rapier. The hilt appears at first glance to be wrapped in red-painted eelskin, but upon closer inspection the wrap doesn't look like it came from any kind of animal found in the Grass Sea. And there's some capital-W Weird Stuff in the Grass Sea. Much like Cassandra Jane's blades, CJ uses it to help cast their spells; unlike Cassandra Jane, however, they aren't using it to draw signs in the air. Instead, it's there as part of the presentation, part of the show needed to make the magic happen and channel the madness inside their soul into something tangible, or at the very least productive. A lot of people wonder why the people in the League of the Weald, especially people like Sander who normally suffer fools like CJ about as gladly as they would a dose of galloping syphilis, but those people haven't seen CJ backed into a corner. Their pact tome appears in the form of a long scroll that seems to go on far longer than the size of the case would imply, it rolls out, and then all bets are off. The many-angled magic of the warlock's patron is unpredictable, yes, but they've managed to rip apart an entire squadron of heavily-armoured knights in one single gibbering moment of squamous horror. Sander knows a thing or two about needing time to come to terms with a new reality, and sees them with compassion as well as exasperation at their cringe-inducing antics outside of battle. This is evidenced by Sander being the only person aside from CJ who knows that their rapier is named Volunteer, and who knows why.

                Faceclaim: Fairuza Balk in The Craft. (Presumably addressing her memories, her patron, or both.)

                ---

                So, that's the costume porn for this set. I tried to have a themed colour scheme - grey - mixed with an additional colour representing their relationship to my own mental health. Sander, my protective streak, gets white. Cassandra Jane, my love of wordplay, gets silver. Young Cassie, my self-destructive tendencies, gets rust-orange. Dr. Cassiopeia, my trivia memory, gets blue. The Witch of the Heath, my desire for growth, gets brown. CJ, my dramallama tendencies, gets black.

                I hope these are of interest and use to anyone who reads them.

                • Am I allowed to hug Young Cassie? by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-01 14:38:00 UTC Link to this

                  She seems like she really needs a hug. (Well, more than that, but a hug is the best I can give.)

                  Anyway, these are very interesting descriptions. Again, we all need to write something together with these characters. We'd probably need to plan first about how serious we're going to be, considering your characters for this are much more serious than mine or hS's, but that could probably be taken care of quickly.

                  -Twistey

                  • Indeed, the incongruity could be the basis for comedy. by Scapegrace on 2019-02-01 19:57:00 UTC Link to this

                    There's the Order of the Butterfly and the Knights of the Twisted Windowpane, who are both fairly light in tone and joke around fighting dragons and climbing (or not climbing) mountains... and then you have the League of the Weald, half a dozen really, really damaged people on the run from an immortal lich-king and his actually competent Legions Of Terror, which is just not sporting on a villain's part. That complete clash of worldviews is potentially the basis for some pitch-black fish out of water comedy, especially if it's set in the Butterfly Order's homeworld where things are generally nice and people are mostly good.

                    • Unless the League runs into Aldegund. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-02 23:28:00 UTC Link to this

                      Aldegund and her patron are both rather insensitive, to put it very nicely in the case of the patron. However, Cass and co would act as a stabilizing force against her, or if they're not there, Teyori would. Ey, that'd work.

                      -Twistey

                      • I don't think the League would take kindly to her. by Scapegrace on 2019-02-03 01:40:00 UTC Link to this

                        I'm fairly sure Aldegund has something very similar to an Undying patron, and that's... well, one hesitates to use the word "trigger", but it'd remind them of Balazebal in a baaaaaad way. Sander, CJ, and Young Cassie in particular would struggle even to be civil with her, while Doc and Cassandra Jane flat-out wouldn't bother trying. The Witch would just be kinda sad but noncommittal about it. Don't get me wrong, she'd think it was a bad, bad, bad idea, but humans gonna human, whatcha gonna do.

                        I'm really curious about what the Knights of Hope and Fear would think of the League of the Weald, come to that. Other than that they're all deeply unwell individuals in dire need of therapy and/or a hug, obviously, bc that stuff kinda goes without saying. =]

                        • Undying? No, her patron is dead. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-05 16:44:00 UTC Link to this

                          Aldegund serves a powerful ghost. I'm currently homebrewing with Willis about how that works. I'll figure out the reactions you were curious about later.

                          -Twistey

              • We should all write a thing together... by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 16:27:00 UTC Link to this

                ...about the adventures that result when the Twisteys, Kaitlyns, and Scapegraces all meet. That would just be so fun!

                -Twistey

        • That's pretty cool. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 01:03:00 UTC Link to this

          Are these meant to be you as well as being alt-cast-stat characters? I notice that many have similar names.

          Hehe, hS needs to know that his idea is catching on...

          -Twistey

          • They are! Well spotted. =] (nm) by Scapegrace on 2019-01-28 09:30:00 UTC Link to this
            • Okay, now with so many Cassies running around... by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-30 14:45:00 UTC Link to this

              ...in any context that also includes the Scapegraces, Cass from the Knights will be referred to by her full name, Cass Kingside.

              I'm curious, would you mind explaining your choices of class, etc. for these characters, as well as the world they live in with the Ever-King and that stuff?

              -Twistey

    • US politics news update by Tomash on 2019-01-25 21:58:00 UTC Link to this

      First, there's been an agreement to temporarily open the government (for three weeks), and the border wall isn't part of it. I'm going to say that this is a win for sanity (and the Democrats). Hopefully we won't be doing this again come mid-February.

      Second, Roger Stone, a senior Trump campaign official, has been arrested for lying to Congress and witness tampering. He allegedly lied when he said he had no emails related to Julian Assange or the hacked DNC emails. Turns out he (almost surely) did.

      Other tangentially related facts about this guy: he supported Richard Nixon during the Watergate scandal and apparently has a Nixon tattoo on his back.

      - Tomash

    • Re: Friday Forum: Here we go again... by SunAndMoon on 2019-01-25 14:12:00 UTC Link to this

      I predict that the committee will have officially defined "woman" in about a thousand years.

      Loving the clerics!

      • I dunno, that seems optimistic. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-25 15:31:00 UTC Link to this

        By that time the Serene Republic of the Committee will occupy nineteen Departments of the Protectorate of Plort. Every year the delegates, thousands strong, will march to the vast Palace of Definition decked out in the tattered pages of previous meetings' minutes. Assembled, they will sit in utter silence for three full days, then depart in the knowledge that at least they haven't made anything worse.

        hS

        • Sounds about right! by Delta Juliette on 2019-01-26 04:21:00 UTC Link to this

          I do wish the Serene Republic of the Committee much luck and wisdom, and I appreciate their dedication to not making it worse. Truly, they are models of respect in that regard.

    • Some former PPCer news by doctorlit on 2019-01-25 12:02:00 UTC Link to this

      But first: Oh! The Color Out of Space! That's a really good choice to adapt. It should be pretty easy to turn into a script without all the uncomfortable classism against rural people . . . Also, I like that simplistic, old-style movie poster! Not a fan of Nicholas Cage, but oh well.

      Former Boarder News
      Fynn, the author of Agents Archer and Sabbat, has finished his degree, which means he'll be able to dedicate more time to working on Saranados, the planned fantasy trilogy that his agents hail from. He's also returning to work on Seventh Son, a series he began on deviantART featuring a band of gender-binary-non-conforming adventurers. Snippets from Saranados and the so-far complete chapters of Seventh Son can be found on Fynn's Wordpress account; just be aware there's swearing in some of his stories.

      —doctorlit, keeping tabs on our previous members, but not in an uncomfortable way, or anything

      • Re: Some former PPCer news by Fynn on 2019-01-25 19:06:00 UTC Link to this

        ...So, this is a blast from the past (he says, following the pingback off his Wordpress account) XD

        As a note, the story Sabbat and Archer hail from is called Argentum in Aqua now, though Saranados is probably sticking around either as the world or as the series as a whole.

        Speaking of sticking around... I know it's been a while, but some stuff's happened that means I'm happier being around here again, so - hi! (Should probably remember my login/get a new account, I guess xD)

        • Welcome back! (nm) by Tomash on 2019-01-27 19:51:00 UTC Link to this
        • Ooh, a returnbie! by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-27 01:10:00 UTC Link to this

          Hi! I'm Twistey! Have some Poe Slaw! It's not real coleslaw, it's a dessert. Hence fitting the name. Currently working on my recipes for Godwin Slaw and other Eponym Slaws. Welcome back! *waves rapidly with entire arm*

          -Twistey

        • Heh, sorry about that! by doctorlit on 2019-01-26 12:18:00 UTC Link to this

          I still mostly know your guys through the PPC wiki, so "Saranados" has been linked to them in my head for a while now . . . didn't mean to misrepresent your setting!

          It would be great to have you back, though!

          —doctorlit, regretting his signature in the earlier post now

        • Welcome back! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-26 05:46:00 UTC Link to this

          Always nice to see people return after a time away. ^_^

          I wouldn't worry about an account, if you're referring to the Board. We've never noticed any particular benefits to logging in over just entering your username every time. Though, if you see any, let us know!

          ~Neshomeh

  • OT: Blood delivery by drone in Rwanda by Tomash on 2019-01-26 21:41:00 UTC Link to this

    I watched this rather interesting YouTube video on how Rwanda's health care system sends donated blood around by drone, since driving it around doesn't quite work (because the roads are pretty bad) and they can't afford the waste that keeping every hospital with an emergency surplus on hand would involve. It's a pretty neat thing and I thought y'all might think it was cool too.

    (The Wendover Productions channel overall has some pretty interesting videos about logistics and travel and such.)

    - Tomash

    • I'm impressed by this system. (nm) by 61516 on 2019-01-27 00:48:00 UTC Link to this
    • That is indeed cool! by eatpraylove on 2019-01-27 00:42:00 UTC Link to this

      I wonder if we could convince other companies to set up a similar service in places like Haiti or Sudan...

  • I just blew my own mind, guys... by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-27 00:39:00 UTC Link to this

    Right, listen close.

    Plortitics. Is reverse. Hetalia.

    Hetalia is about large groups of people, who we call nations or countries, each summarized as a single person.

    Plortitics is about individual people, who we call Boarders, turned into groups of people.

    See? Reverse Hetalia.

    Isn't that... just... *gesture making explosion out of head*

    -Twistey

    • Lol nice by Willis64 on 2019-01-27 01:02:00 UTC Link to this

      I feel that this would mean more to me if I had known about those two things before reading your post...

      • I told you about Hetalia! by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-27 01:08:00 UTC Link to this

        The anime about countries? I told you a Germany quote and you said that would totally be you?

        Also, Plortitics is a thing that happens whenever hS decides to send us this political quiz thing that determines your political stance, and then he graphs us all on a graph and then turns the result into a map where we're all cities. So yeah, reverse Hetalia.

        -Twistey

  • It my birf! by Thoth on 2019-01-27 12:03:00 UTC Link to this

    Today, I turn 18. Which means I'm kinda-sorta-an-adult-but-not-really in the eyes of society?

    I'm old enough to die for my country but not old enough to drink to it. So figure that one out.

    But that's not my point. My point is... thank you. Everyone. For making this past ~1.5 infinitely better than they could have been. You all are pretty amazing. And U mean that sincerely. ^_^

    • Hap Birth! *tosses Spikes* (nm) by SkarmorySilver on 2019-01-29 19:25:00 UTC Link to this
    • HOPP BORF! You're a good man. (Bird? because Thoth.) (nm) by S.M.F. on 2019-01-28 01:49:00 UTC Link to this
      • Thoth is birb. Hap birbday! (nm) by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 16:22:00 UTC Link to this
    • Re: It my birf! by classicfilmfan on 2019-01-28 01:37:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy Birthday!

    • Salutations! by 61516 on 2019-01-28 01:17:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a suit of Imperial Guard issue carapace armor. It's heavy, but it'll keep you safe.

    • Hap birf, Thoth! *PFEEP!* by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 01:06:00 UTC Link to this

      I remember when you showed up. Truly, you've become quite the influential Boarder. Here, have a plasma rifle, or at least a cheap Wolfensteinian knockoff thereof. I took it from a Wolf 3D mod that added weapons, because I really didn't want to face a much harder game...

      Happy birthday!

      -Twistey

    • Happy Birthday! (nm) by Shade on 2019-01-27 22:41:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy Birthday! (nm) by Willis64 on 2019-01-27 20:08:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy birthday! (nm) by Tomash on 2019-01-27 19:50:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy 18th! by Grundleplith on 2019-01-27 19:38:00 UTC Link to this

      Already said it yesterday, but I'm saying it again here!

    • Happy Birthday! by Ozzielot on 2019-01-27 16:43:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a cupcake!

    • Happy birthday! Have some Generic Cake! (nm) by Snowblaze on 2019-01-27 15:31:00 UTC Link to this
    • Hap birf! Welcome to adulthood!! (nm) by Iximaz on 2019-01-27 13:47:00 UTC Link to this
  • Any strategy game buffs around here? (Game idea development) by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 01:39:00 UTC Link to this

    (Alright, we're going to ignore the recency of my previous new post because nobody did anything with it except my boyfriend. Anyway.)

    Hi. Are there any strategy game buffs around here? Specifically the franchise Axis and Allies, but if not, that's fine too.

    I'd like y'all's help. After a fun game of said board game (the version with 2 boards, both of which we had), I've had a pretty fun idea to make a couple different PPC versions of it.

    One of them would be about the fictional PPC undertaking a large mission, with the various countries corresponding to different Departments or different Suethors in a friend group of badficcers. The other one, which I admit I'm slightly more power-tripping over, I mean interested in, would be about the real PPC, fighting some kind of huge RP fight in a hypothetical physical manifestation of our various platforms (Board, Discord, etc.) I think this'd be an interesting venture, considering that new PPC-themed games haven't come out of the community in a while, not even an update to the CAHQ decks if I've got this right.

    So now, the main question is, how would the gameplay aspects of this work? I've got a few ideas for unit types, but I'm not sure what their stats would be, or how everything would be laid out. Can you guys help?

    Thanks!
    -Twistey, really afraid that this is going to turn out kind of awkward like her last post.

    • I update my CAHQ decks without notice. {= ) by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 16:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Added quite a few things to the main deck (More CAHQ) and the FicPsych deck just yesterday, in fact! And, BTW, if you (or anyone) ever have any suggestions, I'd love to see them. No guarantees that I'll use them and I reserve the right to edit for good game grammar, but it still really helps.

      'Fraid I'm no use for making a strategy board game, but a Plort setting seems like a good idea. Good luck!

      ~Neshomeh

      • Sounds like we're due another game! (nm) by Iximaz on 2019-01-28 17:06:00 UTC Link to this
        • Maybe! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-28 22:56:00 UTC Link to this

          I haven't heard anything to this effect yet, but I suspect/hope that we may close the office Wednesday and/or Thursday due to the very cold temperatures coming our way. IF that happens, I may pop into the chat for a game.

          Failing that, maybe next Saturday.

          ~Neshomeh

          • This will be a thing! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-30 18:10:00 UTC Link to this

            Probably around 2:00 CST, because that is the time I arbitrarily chose. Watch this space!

            ~Neshomeh

            • Here we go! by Neshomeh on 2019-01-30 20:09:00 UTC Link to this

              Link here: https://pyx-2.pretendyoure.xyz/zy/game.jsp#game=25

              Password is: Brrr!

              Because yeah, the temperature here in Chicago is currently -12 with a wind chill that makes it feel like -40, give or take. Half the city is shut down, and my layers have layers.

              Just a reminder, in-game chat does not work, but please consider hanging out with us in the PPC Discord's dedicated CAHQ subchannel. It's fun!

              ~Neshomeh

            • I'll be there! (nm) by Iximaz on 2019-01-30 19:15:00 UTC Link to this
    • I'm interested by 61516 on 2019-01-28 03:41:00 UTC Link to this

      My tabletop gaming experience is from mostly RPGs and wargames, but I'd be interested in helping to make a PPC game.

      My first thought is that if we were going to make a strategy game based off of the Board and Discord, why not set it in plort?

      • Ooh, that would be fun... by Delta Juliette on 2019-01-28 06:33:00 UTC Link to this

        I worked on a military history of the Ypur Wars for NaNoWriMo a couple years back, so I've put thought into Plortish geography and warfare. I'd be happy to share my notes!

        • I also know a fair bit about history and wargames... by 61516 on 2019-01-28 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

          My forte is mostly with the development weapons technology.

        • Equally happy to help out. by Scapegrace on 2019-01-28 09:29:00 UTC Link to this

          I know quite a bit about OTL medieval and early-modern warfare, both European and not; it'd be fun to apply that to something like a gigantic Plort strategy game.

          • Seems like a decent idea. by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 16:42:00 UTC Link to this

            I'm kinda disappointed that I don't get to participate in the war, since Twyla's not even a knight yet. I'm also afraid that I'm going to screw over the whole project like I have always done every time I've encountered Plort. And thus, I'd like to turn over leading the making of the Plort game to Delta Juliette. I might help out with it, but it's pretty much outside of my hands now.

            I, meanwhile, will begin working on the mass-mission game. Is there anyone who wishes to help out with that version?

            -Twistey

            • For some reason I want to call this Agent Manager 2019. by 61516 on 2019-01-28 19:16:00 UTC Link to this

              I think this would work well with agents as resources. You would recruit agents for your department and send them on missions, securing more influence based on the completion of successful missions, which would in turn allow you to recruit more agents. Does this sound good?

              • Or, to kinda invert that... by Huinesoron on 2019-01-28 22:41:00 UTC Link to this

                ... Rep Manager 2019: Be a Big Name in the PPC.

                You play as... well, yourself, or as a new Boarder, angling to gain recognition in the writing community of the PPC. You can do this by making friends with other PPCers - reply to them on-Board, chat with them, exchange emails. You can also do it by sucking up to the Oldbies. ^_^ Dodge the drama - or maybe don't! Provided you come out looking good, it can really boost your profile.

                Your first pseudo-goal is to work your way up to Permission - so better befriend someone who has the Beta stat! Then you unlock the writing half of the game, which is Agent Manager. You have to create agents, put them together into storylines, and try to write enough, and also uniquely enough, that people pay attention to your missions. (Cowrites are great here.) You might even get people imitating your writing, or even spark a shift in how PPC stories are written... just watch out, because sooner or later some newbie is going to show up and start stealing all that attention out from under you!

                (I literally don't know whether I'm describing myself or Iximaz here. Not that other people haven't gone through this exact same process, but few have been as prolific as Ix or I... though obviously I'd never accuse Ix of sucking up to olbies!)

                (Yes, I would accuse myself of that. Did You Know I Talked To Jay Once?TM)

                hS

                • My dear hS, need I remind you... by Iximaz on 2019-01-29 01:36:00 UTC Link to this

                  ...that back when I was still a fresh-faced Shiny NewbieTM you had to tell me to relax because I was pretty much hyperventilating the first time you responded to one of my posts? :P

                  • The three stages of interacting with Oldbies: by Huinesoron on 2019-01-29 10:05:00 UTC Link to this

                    1/ Respect the Oldbies.
                    2/ Disrespect the Oldbies.
                    3/ Become an Oldbie.

                    ^_^

                    Also, this game is now called Shiny NewbieTM. The TM is silent. :D

                    hS

                    • I'm too nice for Stage Two! by Snowblaze on 2019-01-30 14:54:00 UTC Link to this

                      ...well, except in an in-universe or game setting, but that doesn't count because I'm in Insane Mode (TM)...

                      ...I don't know how to put the TM above the letters.

                      • Superscript! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-30 15:00:00 UTC Link to this

                        <sup>Like this</sup>

                        hS

                        • Or ™ (for â„¢) (nm) by Tomash on 2019-01-30 18:26:00 UTC Link to this
                    • Would you like to head up the mass mission game as well? by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-30 14:34:00 UTC Link to this

                      Since, after all, you wrote the mission for "Woodsprite of the North", which kind of inspired the mass mission game.

                      Also, it really sounds to me like Shiny Newbie TM would work better as a visual novel rather than a board game. Since you made the original PPC computer game, would you be interested in this approach?

                      -Twistey

                      • Me being me... by Huinesoron on 2019-01-30 14:42:00 UTC Link to this

                        ... I'm a decent chunk of the way through a digital version of Shiny Newbie already. ^_^ No promises that it'll go anywhere, but you never know your luck. I'll report back if it gets to a playable stage. (So far it's all been about Boarder names.)

                        I've actually already made one board game about a PPC mission, over here. That... should tell you why I'm not popping up to contribute ideas, because it's an awful game.

                        hS

                        • Well, if you know why it's awful... by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-01 14:48:00 UTC Link to this

                          ...then you can still contribute, learning from your past failure. I'm not good with judging gameplay, but a couple things that I can see so far are:
                          - "Charge Spaces" don't seem like a thing that meshes well with PPC missions.
                          - I can't read the Sue-description cards.
                          - I think maybe there should be some mechanics for agent tech and Sue powers, because otherwise, it's really generic.

                          Also, I had a great idea for a campaign/episode/whatever idea for Shiny Newbie. What if at one point, you play as an author whose fanfic got sporked and who joined the Board (keeping the reason a secret) in order to look for answers?

                          -Twistey

                    • Should I start swearing at you to improve my status? (nm) by 61516 on 2019-01-30 00:49:00 UTC Link to this
                      • By doing so... by Huinesoron on 2019-01-30 10:48:00 UTC Link to this

                        ... you would be showing how much value you place in my analysis of the situation. So really, your disrespect would just be a form of respect.

                        ^_^

                        hS

                        • It's not like I respect you or anything... by 61516 on 2019-01-30 23:07:00 UTC Link to this

                          ...baka.

                          • Oh my God! by twistedwindowpane on 2019-02-01 14:25:00 UTC Link to this

                            I literally finished that sentence in my head the exact same way you did before I clicked that post, not realizing that you actually said that until I read the full post. Great job! X'D

                            -Twistey

                            • I aim to please. (nm) by 61516 on 2019-02-02 01:55:00 UTC Link to this
                        • Haha I have a workaround for that by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-30 14:38:00 UTC Link to this

                          The workaround is if I disrespected the oldbies so badly that even you don't feel respected via this analysis thing, and instead everyone is just really shocked and angry, and, uh... *siiiiiiigh*

                          -Twistey

                          • I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. {= P (nm) by Neshomeh on 2019-01-30 17:06:00 UTC Link to this
            • And also, perhaps a third version for my original idea: by twistedwindowpane on 2019-01-28 16:53:00 UTC Link to this

              For the sake of equal opportunity for anyone who can't Give Permission (as I'm assuming that the countries in the Plort game would be the Baronies), instead of taking place in Plort, this third version would take place in a different, less hierarchical representation of the real PPC, and more representative of who actually has influence on the Board, Discord, etc. What I mean by that is, there's folks like me and all those "scared to try again" folks who don't have Permission but do a lot for the PPC, and there's also folks like Kaitlyn, who are Permission Givers but don't get on here much at all. (With all due respect to her, as she probably is very busy and stuff.)

              I was thinking that I could ask the Board later who wants to be a major player and who wants to back them up. Units would be newbies, agents, BfGs badficcers, etc. Production Points would be Writing Points, maybe? Et cetera. Who wants to work on that one too?

              -Twistey

  • Best modern dinosaur media? by Huinesoron on 2019-01-28 17:00:00 UTC Link to this

    Hi! I'm here to talk to you about dinosaurs. ^_^

    There are, roughly, four eras in the depiction of dinosaurs in the media:

    1. Crystal Palace. The wildly-inaccurate depictions from the very early, mid-19th century days. You know, the ones that are all scaly elephants with Iguanodon nose-horns. (There's a beautiful recent piece starring one, generally called Jurassic Park 1854 by Jed Taylor, which I have on a mug, t-shirt, and tote bag... yeah, the Crystal Palace dinos are making a bit of a reappearance, it's awesome.)

    2. Great Thunder Lizards. You know, like The Land Before Time. Most stylised depictions still follow this style.

    3. The Dinosaur Renaissance, AKA the time dinosaurs picked up their tails and started running. Jurassic Park dinos.

    4. Finally, and most recently, what's sometimes called the All Yesterdays movement. This is characterized by the realisation that there's a lot of stuff - famously feathers, but also other soft tissues, and behaviour - that doesn't fossilize. The Dinosaur Renaissance got the behaviour of dinos' bones and muscles pretty perfect - the stuff that goes over them is where things are changing now.

    The thing is, most dinosaur media is still either deep in the Renaissance (Jurassic World), or revisiting the Thunder Lizards for cuteness' sake. My question is, what are the best up-to-date, experimenting-with-realistic-appearance-and-behaviour dinosaur things you've run into?

    One that I quite like is Saurian, a PC game in which you play as (currently) a Dakotaraptor, from a small hatchling following after your parents, to a young animal hunting lizards, to... well, usually to a poisoned/crocodile-eaten corpse, by my record, but theoretically to an adult. (Survival games are not my specialty.)

    They haven't shied away from feathers - you are very bird-like - or speculative behaviour - at a certain age you can use your wings in 'raptor prey restraint', and you can also climb trees while young. They've done their best to be as scientifically accurate as possible - which has included massive redesigns of their T. rex, first to add feathers, then to remove them. The whole thing is set in a similarly-accurate rendition of the Hell Creek area, AKA one of the best known dinosaur formations in the world.

    So that's Saurian (available on Steam now!), but being a dromaeosaur isn't the only way to enjoy dinosaurs. What else is out there? Enquiring mes want to know!

    hS

    • My own two cents, plus three recommendations by SkarmorySilver on 2019-01-30 15:24:00 UTC Link to this

      I assume documentaries are included, yes? 'Cuz I'd like to take this moment for some minor pluggage related to the topic in question, especially since prehistory documentaries have been dear to my heart since childhood - seriously, if you haven't watched the original Walking With Dinosaurs TV miniseries, please do! All episodes are, as of this writing, available on Dailymotion. Of course, the series is quite dated science-wise, so of course more recent docu-series are trying to go for the All Yesterdays style, with varying degrees of success. In particular, there are three of these I wish to highlight which also deserve mention.

      BBC's Planet Dinosaur, narrated by John Hurt, takes the more scientific approach to the subject matter, transitioning between CGI renditions of the critters themselves and paleontology findings corresponding to the topic at hand. It should be noted that this series is quite carnivore-centric, and some of the depictions aren't entirely consistent with what we know of today (long-legged Spinosaurus, Troodon without wing feathers on the arms, that venomous Sinornithosaurus hypothesis that got debunked not long after it was suggested...), but the visuals look wonderful, and even my nitpicky self very much enjoyed the series as a whole, with every single episode having its own appeal. I'm most fond of pterosaurs, sure, but Hatzegopteryx sadly got too little screentime and other pterosaurs ended up being canon fodder. Oh well. The Predator X/Pliosaurus segments were definitely my favorite part, and it's nice to see a more sensible depiction than that kaiju-sized Liopleurodon from WWD.

      Next on the list is Discovery Channel's Dinosaur Revolution, which has its own set of issues and could stand to be less sensationalist in particular, but hey, properly feathered dromaeosaurs! In general, this has to be the best set of dinosaur depictions on television, and there was clearly a lot of work put into them with proper feathering and even scale patterns based on whatever skin impressions were available. Plus the animals themselves are colorful, lively, entertaining to watch, and most importantly, as accurate as we can imply from the most current evidence. You may even find yourself rooting for a good number of them as the show progresses. This series opted for separating the segments with the creatures themselves with "talking heads" i.e. paleontologists commenting on the critters featured, which is a bit of hit-or-miss for me since we all know what I care for lol. Still, it's a visual treat that certainly lived up to its hype, and is leagues ahead of a number of documentaries which either didn't know better or simply didn't care. I mean, one of them freaking quote-mined one of the people the makers consulted. Eesh.

      Last on the list is Sir David Attenborough's Flying Monsters 3D, which I had the pleasure of seeing on the big 3D screen at the local science center at my hometown! Unlike the previous two documentaries, which relegated pterosaurs to bit parts with only one or two segments focusing on them, this one explores them and their evolution in all of this family's glory. This is another relatively well-researched feature, though it's one cinematic film rather than a series of episodes, with Attenborough himself leading us through the whole thing and directly interacting with the paleontologists presented, discussing the evidence we have for what pterosaurs were like - and with their proper coating of pycnofibers (hair-like scales akin to birdy down, if you will) and vibrant colors, the animals presented look utterly glorious. As somewhat expected, there are still a number of minor and occasionally not-so-minor boo-boos that can be spotted by a sharp-eyed viewer. (Of particular note is a segment with Tupandactylus courting, but both males and females have the same tall crest that only the males have in reality. Think about what that means for a second...) For what it's worth, though, the film has impressive visuals, and when it does get something right, it demonstrates it beautifully. As someone who insists on more accurate pterosaurs in media (to the point where I disguised my PPC persona as a terrestrial ground-stalking Quetzalcoatlus on two separate missions), this film is a guilty pleasure for me and my inner paleo-nerd, and while best taken with an amount of salt that can vary between a grain and a whole darn shaker, it's an impressive piece of work nonetheless.

      And there you have it, three of my favorite pieces of modern dinosaur media. If anyone has any works they'd like to recommend themselves, feel free to let us know and discuss them as well!

      • Walking With Dinosaurs was the BEST. by Huinesoron on 2019-02-01 11:17:00 UTC Link to this

        I have it on DVD, it was amazing, even if as you say the science is a bit old now. (Also, the Walking With Monsters prequel has given me a lifelong vendetta against arthropods, so there's that. ^_^)

        I've not seen any of the three you list, though I do remember a few rants about Dinosaur Revolution. Interesting that all three were done about the same time! I suspect a lot of the work they put into their models fed into the live Dinosaurs in the Wild experience, which was AMAZING and hits the same modern-dino notes. (I vividly remember a field full of Dakotaraptor threat-displaying their tails and wings against an oblivious Alamosaurus.) Sadly, DitW has shut down now, but if it ever tours near to you, I heartily recommend it.

        As the person with an actual terrestrial-stalking Quetzalcoatlus agent, I think I'm most intrigued by Flying Monsters; I might see if I can figure out a way to watch it in 3D...

        hS

    • Wow, Saurian looks pretty slick. (nm) by 61516 on 2019-01-30 02:13:00 UTC Link to this
  • Micro-plug: "Dinosaurs", with Kaitlyn & Huinesoron by Huinesoron on 2019-01-30 15:43:00 UTC Link to this

    "Are dinosaurs real?"

    Kaitlyn swatted away the hand that had lifted her headphone away and span her chair to face the intruder. "I don't think you understand how this works," she said over the cheery chords of the Shire theme. "When I sneak up on you and ask bizarre questions, it's funny. When you do it to me, it's the worst thing ever."

    Agent Huinesoron looked briefly mortified, but then he seemed to take in the smile on her face and relaxed. He said something that Kaitlyn couldn't hear over the music, then looked immediately guilty.

    Kaitlyn tugged off the headphones and dropped them onto her console. "I'm going to assume that was a grovelling apology," she said, then regretted it immediately as the elf's obvious guilt deepened. "Sorry, that was meant to be a joke," she assured him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

    "It's... it's fine." The elf shook his head in bewilderment. "I'm sorry, too."

    "No need." Kaitlyn pursed her lips in thought. "Unless you broke the lock to get in here," she corrected herself. "Selene gets kinda antsy about her privacy."

    "No, she let me in," Huinesoron said hastily. "I know her from back in DOGA, remember."

    "Ohhhh, that makes sense." Kaitlyn beamed, then reached down and fiddled with the controls on the side of her chair. With a hiss, the seat rose up, adding about a foot to her height, bringing her that much closer to eye level. "Well, it's good to see you! What brings you here?"

    "Er." Huinesoron coughed. "Dinosaurs?"

    "Yes! Right." Kaitlyn tugged at her waistcoat, straightening it. "In what canon? Because I'm sure you know as well as I do that there's a Triceratops in Mary Sues and a T. rex in Internal Affairs. I'm told there's a Velociraptor or something here in Floaters, too, though I've never met him."

    "We've got a Quetzalcoatlus in Analytical Science," Huinesoron supplied. "But I meant your world." He frowned. "Or mine? Because Middle-earth is the history of World One, correct?"

    "I mean... maybe?" Kaitlyn wobbled her hand in what she intended to be an illustrative gesture. "I think World One is the future of Middle-earth, without the reverse necessarily being true." She frowned. "Something about chiral history, I think? You'd have to ask one of your DAS lot."

    "I asked Norlossë from Multiversal Physics," Huinesoron said, his lip twitching in an involuntary smile. "Her answer was about as coherent-or-otherwise as yours."

    "That actually makes me feel pretty good," Kaitlyn mused. "If no-one understands this stuff... anyway, sorry! You were saying?"

    "Dinosaurs," Huinesoron reminded her. "Are they real?"

    "Why do you want to know?" Kaitlyn leant back, her office chair issuing a deep rumbling sound as it tilted. "Is this for a mission, or just a new hobby?"

    "An old one," the elf said. "You know I'm in the geology division at DAS? Well, I found some rocks in the White Mountains during a recent survey that could be dinosaur fossils - except I'm not even sure that's possible." He frowned slightly, head tilting to one side. "So I suppose it was a mission, too, in a way."

    "Not just 'a way'," Kaitlyn corrected. "Infrastructure - or whatever Analytical Science counts as - missions are still just as mission-y as Action missions! Don't put yourself down."

    "I'll remember that," Huinesoron murmured. "So... dinosaurs?"

    "I know, I know, I'm getting to it." Kaitlyn drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair and sat up straight. "Previous caveats about chiral history aside, there are two schools of thought on the matter," she explained. "The first is that yes, dinosaurs totally existed."

    "Okay..." Huinesoron eyed her warily. "And the second?"

    "The same," Kaitlyn said, grinning widely, "but with a big argument about feathers. Does that answer your question?"

    "I think it does." Huinesoron returned her smile, pairing it with a nod of thanks. "You've been," he considered for a moment, "very helpful."

    "Nah; but I'll accept the 'helpful' part." Tugging at the console, Kaitlyn swung herself back round and picked up her headphones. "After all," she said, slipping them on and letting the music wash over her again, "that's what friends are for."



    There's kind of far more prehistoric animals in the PPC than I realised; it's fun!

    As for why hS didn't just ask the archaeologists at DAS-AWAY: Durand has trouble separating the concepts of 'dinosaur' and 'dragon', and Joan doesn't like to deal with anything pre-industrial if she can help it.

    hS

    • Also: website update! by Huinesoron on 2019-01-30 15:50:00 UTC Link to this

      It's been over a year in the doing, but I guess it's time to bite the bullet and just announce it... Huinesoron's Webplex has officially moved over to Neocities, and can now be found here:

      Huinesoron's Webplex

      The move - the first time I've left [Free]Webs since the launch of Bonsaimallorn back in '03 - comes because Webs have been getting slower and slower, and I wanted something that I could actually update without a struggle. There's a lot of out-of-date backlinks which I'll need to sort out, but everything should now be linked from the new site.

      There's even a few new things scattered throughout there, though not as many as my original idealistic plans. One that might interest a fair number of you, though, is the official hub for In Life's Name, the PPC/Young Wizards stories some of us wrote a while back. Included in there is something I don't think I've shared before: a short piece by Kaitlyn entitled Mars.

      So there it is! If you find a dead link or any images that don't work, I'd appreciate a heads-up; there's a lot of stuff on there, and I'm positive I've missed at least a few things.

      hS

      • The link to the Temple of all Faiths appears to be broken. (nm) by Hieronymus Graubart on 2019-02-03 13:34:00 UTC Link to this
        • That? That's why I'm moving from Webs. by Huinesoron on 2019-02-04 09:11:00 UTC Link to this

          I'm sick and tired of 'oh, no-one's visited this in six weeks? WELP SHUTTING IT DOWN NOW.

          It's not like they even remove the files; all I have to do is go in and click on a page from the site editor.

          GRUMBLE.

          hS

      • re. Mars by Delta Juliette on 2019-02-01 03:15:00 UTC Link to this

        ...ow? I know that the ultimate price is a thing wizards are called on to pay, some times, but... ow. Kaitlyn writes it well, I'm tearing up even on re-reading.

        (And I might be working on October's vacation and gathering report in Young Wizards metaphor. Stay tuned.)

        • Seconding. by S.M.F. on 2019-02-01 03:37:00 UTC Link to this

          Also: aaaaaaaAAAAAA? ;a;

          • Thirded. by Scapegrace on 2019-02-01 20:00:00 UTC Link to this

            I actually had a little trouble parsing it at first - not because of any bad writing, but because my brain actually shut down when I realized what was about to happen to Jacob and Lise, and that it was the right thing to do, and that nobody else could do it.

            "I was thinking of a small inscription. Something along the lines of 'They did the job they had to do'-"
            "No! How dare you! How DARE you! They did the job they DIDN'T have to do!"
            -- Lord Vetinari and Sam Vimes, Night Watch

            And yes, I deliberately left the quote incomplete to avoid spoilers.

            • Kaitlyn didnÂ’t do a bad job there. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2019-02-03 13:33:00 UTC Link to this

              That'll do. (Exaggerated British Understatement.)

              HG

      • Liking the new site! by Iximaz on 2019-01-30 19:25:00 UTC Link to this

        I haven't encountered any issues on my end just clicking around; it looks pretty good to me. I will agree with Thoth though that the images you have for the Young Wizards shorts should probably come with text as well; it took some guesswork on my part to figure out whose was whose.

        (...Also, did you ever do a magic circle for Mirror, Mirror? I can't remember...)

        Mars was good and made me smile, as did the dinosaurs one. I'd love to see Huinesoron go to a museum with lots of fossils (and weird out anyone within earshot exclaiming over them). :P

        • Not yet. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-31 10:43:00 UTC Link to this

          I have an idea for it in my head (I think you pretty much spelt it out, actually), but they take a fair amount of energy to actually craft. I do intend to create it, though. :)

          ... I swear, if that idea makes Agent Kaitlyn drag Agent hS off to the Natural History Museum, you will be making an extremely baffled cameo.

          hS

          • XD I can only imagine... (nm) by Iximaz on 2019-01-31 11:32:00 UTC Link to this
      • Oh, bugger. I mean, yay! >.> by Neshomeh on 2019-01-30 18:06:00 UTC Link to this

        But I JUST went through fixing all the old Freewebs links on the wiki, and now it'll have to be done again. Siiigh. This is why I hesitate to move my own stuff. {= P

        Seriously, though, how is Neocities, usage-wise? Does it feel good over there?

        The parts of the site I've looked at so far appear to be in working order. All the banners and things are showing up, links seem to be correct. I'd go with a less lurid shade of green for the background, though. Not more than #00B000 or so.

        Like this.


        Sort of. The Board's rendering of my margin is wonky. But the point is, on full monitor brightness, it'll be easier to look at while still being a pure green. {= )

        ~Neshomeh

        • I know, I know. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-31 14:01:00 UTC Link to this

          Though given how many times links to my stuff have changed, I'm sure half of them are wrong anyway. ^_~

          Neocities is actually really comfortable to use! The dashboard is set up pretty much like a Windows folder, and you can either edit files in there (their editor has a green-on-black mode, which feels very 80s-movie-hacker), or upload them from your computer. Uploads will automatically overwrite previous versions, and it all happens fast. Webs was taking most of a minute to move to a sub-folder; Neocities is just as fast as the computer.

          Bottom line: I've finally started testing changes on an offline version, because it's now really easy to put them onto the live site afterwards.

          The green... I know, I know. :-/ But. It's currently Huinesoron Green, aka <font color="Huinesoron">, and that amuses me too much to change just yet.

          I probably will at some point, though, 'cause it is pretty bright. The colour is CSS, so at least it'll be quick to switch.

          hS

          • Would anyone mind if I used a bot on the wiki? by Neshomeh on 2019-01-31 20:54:00 UTC Link to this

            I've considered it before, but this seems like a perfect time to actually do it. {= ) This seems fairly simple to use and therefore difficult to mess up. I'll probably set up a Flower account for it to run on, like one of the janitors. They're fun.

            Re. the rest: Great! I've been converted to the joy of offline editing with Notepad++ myself, so it's good to hear that works well. Maybe this is a good time to actually move the Lost Tales, and maybe even Neshomeh's Archive, too. Especially if I get a FittoniaBot (or something) to help out with the tedious part. ^_^

            ~Neshomeh

            • Seems like a good plan to me. (nm) by Iximaz on 2019-02-01 15:14:00 UTC Link to this
            • No objections. by Hieronymus Graubart on 2019-02-01 15:02:00 UTC Link to this

              I guess you’ll use the bot to update all the Lost Tales links. Yeah, that’s obviously Janitor work.

              HG, Archivist’s Apprentice

            • No objection from me. by Huinesoron on 2019-02-01 13:21:00 UTC Link to this

              Though I'm not sure how useful it'd be in this particular case - I restructured the site while I moved it, so you'd need to know exactly where everything came from and went to.

              Heh, my offline editing is all done through plain old Notepad, which makes Javascript a bit of a nightmare. I might look into ++ and see if it will work here...

              As for moving your sites: the only concern I'd mention is that if someday, Neocities is going to go the way of all its predecessors. The more sites the PPC has running over there, the more we'll need to rescue when it falls...

              hS

              • And this is why you keep local data. by Thoth on 2019-02-01 17:44:00 UTC Link to this

                For those technically savvy enough, I actually potentially endorse GitHub Pages for hosting. At the very least, GitHub is good place to keep your website sources if you wanna back them up. But even just putting your stuff on the hard drive is a good option.

                For the archivists in the audience, "wget -mk " is a command line command that will grab an entire website and convert all the links automatically for you so that it no longer points to where you grabbed it from. This command is included in Mac computers (just launch "Terminal" and type it in), but not on Windows.

                For tech heads, Neocities actually runs an IPFS node. This means that you can run a node that will act as a fallback for accessing your site using IPFS should Neocities ever fail. I mean... nobody actually uses IPFS yet. But maybe one day.

                I would heavily endorse not using Notepad. For one thing, Notepad only barely supports that Unix line endings that almost every other application in the world expects for text files. For another, ++ and other editors have support for all kinds of fun stuff that makes the editing experience much better.

                • I mean... by Huinesoron on 2019-02-01 22:03:00 UTC Link to this

                  ... I have a backup. I was mostly thinking of the unthinkable scenario in which either Nesh or I were no longer around, and then our sites crashed. ^_~

                  I think I do actually have something running off GitHub Pages - I wanna say it's the Board's CSS stylesheet? Not sure.

                  And the main reason I haven't looked at alternative coding utilities - other than that for what I do it's barely necessary - is that I do most of my HTML/Javascript at work engage with coding in a location where downloading new software might be contraindicated. :D

                  hS

                • Website archiving with wget on Windows by Tomash on 2019-02-01 20:47:00 UTC Link to this

                  This is a copy-paste of a message I sent to Nesh that should be useful for anyone trying to take copies of websites:

                  The magic incantation for archiving stuff

                  wget -x -p -m -np -k -E http://example.com/optional-subdirectory/

                  To use this:

                  1) Download the latest wget.exe from https://eternallybored.org/misc/wget/ put it in a new folder where you'll want to keep your stuff
                  2) Then, Shift+right click on the folder you put wget.exe into and select "Open Command Prompt here"
                  3) Type in the magic incantation, hit Enter. The bits with dashes can go in any order, so long as the URL is last and the word "wget" is first.
                  4) There'll be a folder named example.com or what have you in the same place as wget.exe, and all the files there will have been rewritten to not have absolute references to other parts of your site (if you don't want that behavior, remove the -k , if you also want the originals, add -K)

                  (For a short explanation:
                  - wget is a program that's designed to download things
                  - Most of this is various options to control how wget will download things
                  + -x says to always create a directory for the thing you downloaded
                  + -p means to also download all the CSS, images, and so on that a
                  downloaded page needs
                  + -m is shorthand for all the thing you need to ask for to get mirroring
                  + -np prevents the download from following links that don't point into the site being downloaded (well, above the directory the thing you started from lives in, but that's minor)
                  + -k enables the "make this download self-sufficient" rewrites mentioned above)
                  + -E adds a .html to web pages that were missing one)

                  - Tomash

              • That makes it a tad harder. by Neshomeh on 2019-02-01 17:36:00 UTC Link to this

                But not that much. Since the individual missions and whatnot are mostly on Gdocs, and those haven't changed (or have they?), I'd be dealing mainly with "home" pages in batches anyway.

                Now, when I do the Lost Tales, I did keep the file structure the same, so I'll be able to do that all in one solid go. ^_^

                Oh, yeah, that happened. Really, really surprisingly quickly. Tomash's wizardry is invaluable.

                As for Neocities eventually failing... well, all my stuff is backed up on my laptop and Archive.today (or whatever it is now), I think. Also, I think I might become a subscriber? At five bucks a month, it seems reasonable, and if enough people respect the Internet way of electing to throw money at things we value, hopefully it'll work.

                I suppose I could maintain things on both Neocities and Tripod indefinitely, but... eh. {= /

                ~Neshomeh

      • Mobile Breakage by Thoth on 2019-01-30 17:59:00 UTC Link to this

        The new website looks nice, but the layout seems to be broken on mobile devices. Additionally, the only way to access the In Life's Name stories is through an imagemap, which I *strongly* advice you to reconsider. I know it looks pretty, but there are a lot of accessibility issues with doing it that way.

        • In Life's Name is updated. by Huinesoron on 2019-01-31 10:27:00 UTC Link to this

          I actually always intended to have a table of contents; I just... didn't get round to it. I've fixed it now, and added the all-important last page (or at least, last that non-wizards can see...).

          As for the layout - broken how? It's deliberately designed to pare itself down to a single column, which works perfectly on my phone. The top and bottom bars get slightly messed up, but the main body works pretty much as intended.

          hS

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