Jan 2019 Archive, part b

If you use Safari on a mobile device, then up on the search bar, left to the website’s name (or maybe it says “reader view available”, depends), there should be four lines that you can click for the reader view.

And thank you, hS, for the perfect place to put this thing I was debating about posting. ^^

So, first, I was taken by the whim to do an external links search for all Freewebs URLs and change them to either working Webs URLs or archival links. That's done.

In the process, I noticed just how awful the <a href="https://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/LegalDepartment">Legal Department page was, so I rewrote it. (This is a return to my project of standardizing and improving all the department pages, which I haven't worked on in quite a long time.) I pretty much only used the information in the links that were already there, though, so if anybody knows something I missed, please tell me! Legal is kind of important, and also complex and mysterious. Like, even the metahistory of the department head and flash patch is kinda freaky. Check it out, and let me know what you think happened in-universe. I've got my own theory. {= )

While you're there, you may also notice that I finally discovered an easy way to get multiple images in the infoboxes (just use a gallery!), so I've done that for all the department pages with multiple versions of their flash patch available. Now I can merrily add the ones I've made to give them a more consistent style while not bumping the older designs into oblivion! ^_^ Also, this can be done with ANY infobox, so if you have multiple images of your agents, minis, Flowers, or whatever, feel free to add them to their infobox!

This has had the pleasant side-effects of reminding my brain how to focus on things and giving me some ideas, so more writing is also in the works. If anybody remembers the interlude I started quite a while back with Nume getting stuck babysitting Henry, I've finally figured out where that's going. It should be fun for us and Fun for Nume. *g*

~Neshomeh

A while ago, I shared The Digital Antiquarian, a website about the history of digital culture and interactive entertainment that I profoundly enjoyed.

Now, the creator of that website has made a companion site, called The Analog Antiquarian, described as "chronicles of worldly wonders," the new site has articles about mankind's most amazing achievements over all of history. It's starting with the Pyramids of Giza, and by all appearances seems to be about as good as its rather excellent predecessor. So I'm enjoying that.

I shared that with my guildmates and people lost their minds. He'll be a great addition to the game. :D

That space rock Ultima Thule, as well as Thule the car-mounted storage box company, is named after a fictional, far-northern lost civilization.

Originally named Hyperborea, meaning "above the north wind", the idea was invented by Greek writers. It was stated to be a place where the boundaries between land, sea, and sky blurred, and instead there was this weird stuff that was kind of like Jello, which it was hard to move in. (Like... what?)

Unfortunately, around the early twentieth century, the concept (which I'm not sure when it got renamed Thule, but it was in fact also called Ultima Thule) was pretty badly hijacked. (Use your imagination.) This is why it appears in the 2009 Wolfenstein reboot. Out of those who currently believe that Thule exists, many of them are of this ideology.

However, another large number of Thule-believers are folks from various countries in Europe who insist that the Greeks were talking about their nation.

TL;DR: Humans are weird. Nothing new.

-Twistey

Woo, Francium. ...I ran out of things to say about this, so let me talk about something else.

Here in the PPC, we have a large number of MMO fans. Personally, MMOs make me feel like I'm killing myself slowly. I wish they didn't, they look like an awful lot of fun, but sadly they are not for me q.q.

However, there IS an MMO related thing that I'd recommend to even the MMO intolerant like me, and that thing is called Log Horizon.

Log Horizon is a anime and (actually officially translated for once) novel series that can roughly be described as fulfilling the promises Sword Art Online made and then some. A collection of gamers are transported into a fantasy world that veeery closely resembles their favorite MMO which they were logged into before they showed up. Okay, so, race to get home, if you die in the game you die for real, and all that jazz, right?

No.

Log Horizon is more interesting than that. It's about taking an anarchic group of people in a horrible situation and the political gambles and underhanded dealings it takes to turn that into a society. Especially when the world operates by MMO rules (actual MMO rules. As in, the author is obviously a dedicated MMO player), and nobody can die. And the NPCs are real people now, of course. Who most definitely can die, and are experiencing tensions with their immortal neighbors from the start.

And of course, our protagonist can do the Gendo Ikari Glasses Flash™, because he's a very manipulative man. The point is, Log Horizon is good stuff.

In other anime news, The Lord El-Melloi II Case Files, my favorite Fate-verse work you can't actually easily read because it's been translated terribly, has now got an Anime adaption, which is currently airing. So... yey. I dunno how many of you will care, but I'm happy.

In videogame news, over the past few months Counter-Strike: Global Offensive has become free-to-play. If you're interested in joining the world's second-largest Valve-operated saltmine, you can check that out. But protip: bring some friends. You can play with publics, but it's less fun because most of them are... awful. Not gonna lie.

Also, it has a Battle Royale mode now, which is apparently actually fun, I wouldn't know.

In videogame not-news... have you ever wondered why WASD is the control scheme that we all use? It seems random, and... it was. In another universe, we could all be using ESDF (like Gabe Newell prefers), or WADX, or even SZXC.

So what made WASD win? E-sports. Namely, the one of the first ever e-sports champions, before that term even existed: Dennis "Thresh" Fong. For the full story, check out this article from PC Gamer.

Oh, in actual gaming news, Erik Wolpaw is confirmed to be contracting for Valve, even if he's not back at the company. Speaking as someone who believes that Wolpaw's one of the best comedy writers in the industry, I think this is good. Maybe. It depends on whether Valve will actually DO something.

I'm totally gonna get back to writing. Soon. I swear. Lessons 2 is only months away. :-P

No, seriously, my schedule's clearing up soon, so that may well be possible.

Our good old friend Pieguy has published a thing! He wrote the practice adventure scenario in the quickstart guide for a new tabletop game called Relics: A Game of Angels. It's only available in PDF form at the moment. It's one of those "pay what you want" scenarios. (I'm honestly not sure off-hand if Pieguy himself gets any money from that link.)

—doctorlit, collecting what former PPCers produce

We can be adult cats together, then. =D

(Okay, so I'm 21, but it still works, dammit!)

Have a suit of Imperial Guard issue carapace armor. It's heavy, but it'll keep you safe.

Have a fancy gel pen holder for all your fancy gel pens!

-Twistey

*throws confetti and extra punctuation*

That's one of the things you need in your Permission attempt, your own agent bios. It shows that you know how to create a PPC character that's not going to be overpowered, etc.

-Twistey

[Checks]

... huh.

So I have actually cameo'd Sean, but that scene is set prior to their breakup. He also has a passing mention in a Despatch mission, which MAY be his latest confirmed appearance.

Wait, hang on! I haven't checked the Histories... nope, once again his cameo is set early (1999, I think). His appearances in Lux's backstory would also be early.

Um... I would say that you could bring him back, but you'd want to think carefully about how you did it. Ten years ago, someone killed off Makes-Things, which was generally disliked and ultimately kinda retconned. Writing something about a TOS character that people don't appreciate seems likely to get a similar reaction.

hS

Allah Skywalker, also known as Allah Gold, was sent by the Presbyterian Church to seduce Speaker D so he can find compromising information about him. This backfired, since Gold, resentful of his lack of respect among members of the Church, joined forces with Speaker D in his plan to form the Empire of the First Choice "to ensure the future safety with prospers". This was all part of D's long scheme to further his own power by legalizing religion.

Here is the beginning of an explanation for what I just said:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WebOriginal/TheStarWarGatherings

He cut his hand off in defence of Palpatine (who had ostensibly surrendered), and Palpatine murdered him by throwing him off a building.

After that, I guess Anakin's guilt for his role in Windu's death and his mistrust of the Jedi - and presumably he expected that he wouldn't exactly be welcomed back into the Order after defending a Sith Lord against a Jedi Master - led to him deciding "what the hell" and jumping off the slippery slope.

Actually, a comparison comes to mind - Redcloak, from The Order of the Stick. Like Anakin, Redcloak has a goal, and an exquisitely monstrous person offering him a path to that goal. And they both end up doing terrible things for that person in order to achieve their goal - Redcloak kills his own little brother; Anakin in complicit in the death of Mace Windu. That then leaves them with no excuse for their behaviour, so they cling to achieving their goals instead, in the service of the evil creature who they pretend to themselves can help them achieve it.

So that's it - Anakin defends a Sith from a Jedi in the heat of the moment, then continues to serve Palpatine because that gives him an excuse for his inexcusable behaviour - "it's to save my wife".

Of course, it's a selfish goal, because Anakin is ultimately pretty selfish.

And another thought, about the younglings - Anakin's super arrogant, and arrogance hates being judged. Wiping out the Jedi order was possibly, on Anakin's part, a desperate attempt to avoid being judged for his actions. In that light, the apprentices weren't children - they were part of the group which would seek to judge Anakin for his actions, and thus targets.

Of course, this was all ultimately precipitated by Palpatine's (and Jar Jar's) careful stroking of his ego and infatuation with Padmé. There was probably some subtle Force Suggestion involved, too.

In summary: Annie's an arrogant, selfish person who accidentally touched the slippery slope and then went "what the hell" because he didn't want his feelings hurt.

First, his upbringing. Anakin is an exceptional Jedi, immensely talented and extremely powerful. It teaches him a kind of arrogance, a belief that he really can do anything. And after all, why not? He's the Chosen One. Obi-Wan recognizes this, but his attempts to keep him humble only lead to Anakin feeling starved for recognition, which he receives not from his Master or from the Jedi, but from the Chancellor.

Which leads nicely into point two, the Clone Wars. Anakin's fatal flaw throughout the Prequel trilogy has always been his fear of loss. During the Clone Wars, Anakin loses friend after friend after friend, whther they be Clone Troopers or Jedi. In addition, his accomplishments as a general are still not recognized by the Jedi. Enter, Palpatine, who is there to encourage and manipulate him every single time the Jedi disappoint him. Over the course of the war his faith in the Council is shaken, his fear of loss is intensified, and his trust of Palpatine grows.

Finally, we come to the revelation that Palpatine is a Sith. Despite his trust in the Chancellor, despite his fear of losong Padmé, Anakin still does the right thing. He goes to Mace Windu and informs him of Palpatine's true nature. He sacrifices what he believes may be his only chance to save his wife, and Windu benches him. Anakin is one of the Order's best warriors, he knows Palpatine better than any other Jedi, he is without doubt their best chance at successfully taking Palpatine into custody, and Windu tells him to stay put.

So, when the final confrontation comes, Anakin walks in to find that not only was he right, the Masters who went to arrest the Chancellor did need his help, but the only survivor of the attempt is about to murder the Head of State of the Galactic Republic in cold blood, in violation of the Jedi Code. The same Code that has tormented Anakin ever since he began his relationship with Padmé, seems to be worth nothing even to a member of the Jedi Council.
At this point, Anakin has lost what little faith he has left in the Jedi, and once Windu is dead, he has, in his mind, already gone too far to go back on serving Palpatine. The rest, as they say, is history.

There's a quote from Knights of the Old Republic that I think could pretty well serve as the thesis statement for all of Star Wars, "Love doesn't lead to the dark side. Passion can lead to rage and fear, and can be controlled... but passion is not the same thing as love. Controlling your passions while being in love... that's what they should teach you to beware. But love itself will save you... not condemn you."
―Jolee Bindo

Fits pretty well, I think. Anakin fears losing Padmé, and his attempts to save her are what kill her. the Jedi fear that strong emotions will lead their members to the Dark Side, but their detachment only turns their members against them. Obi-Wan fears failing to teach Anakin, and his attempts to avoid that are what drive Anakin to Palpatine. The final act of the Original Trilogy is Luke overcoming his fear and anger to become a Jedi, and it's his father's love for him that saves him, and by extension, the galaxy.

Apologies if this a bit rambly and/or typo ridden, in a bit of rush at the moment, but I just couldn't help but chime in. What can I say, I'm a Prequel fan at heart.

Or at least, betrayed first.

I don't doubt for a second that the love between Anakin and Padmé was real. I think Anakin knew, in his heart, that their relationship was good for both of them . . .

. . . And yet, his fellow Jedi are always talking about how love is bad, feelings are bad, getting attached to people is bad . . .

And when Padmé's life was threatened, at least in Anakin's dream-visions, and he feared for her safety, what help did he get from his Jedi teammates? None. Let that person go. Focus on upholding social and political order. The system that Anakin had lived within since the age of ten gave him no help, no way to protect the one person he cared for the most.

It's not that Palpatine was so very charming or persuasive to Anakin. It's that Palpatine was throwing Anakin literally the only rope, the only possible way out. The Jedi betrayed Anakin first.

(At least in his mind.)

As for attacking the younglings, and later Padmé herself? I'll admit, neither of those really follow from my reading. It may be that the intense guilt Anakin felt from helping to kill Mace allowed Palpatine to further influence his mind in a way he hadn't been able to before. Or maybe, even more darkly, finally throwing off the rigid tenets of the Jedi code from his moral being led Anakin to finally succumb to the desire for power he had already been entertaining before that point (and a desire that was already tied to his love for Padmé, wanting to be strong enough to protect her). But due to the nature of the Force in that universe, the obsession with power finally corrupted his heart to the point that it eclipsed even the love that had originally fueled it.

—doctorlit, rather fond of the prequels

I believe the real message is the danger of trying to defy destiny. He ended up killing her himself and fulfilling his nightmares of her dying. The novelization (which is excellent) implies that he thought she was in an affair with Obi-wan. And also that he was so wrapped up in thinjing about himself that he didn't stop to think about her. Which, quoth the epilogue, is the real revenge of the Sith, for now himself is all he will ever have as he wakes up as Darth Vader.

Okay, hearing that, I kinda want to pick up a copy myself just to see what it's like.

I loved it and barely remember anything abkut it now :(

... are you sure you weren't asleep and dreamed the whole thing?

I mean, are you positive?

^_~

hS

(Actually to be honest it sounds like something out of Space Captain Smith, which interestingly enough if you say that name three times it automatically summons a Scapegrace to the thread.)

Mainly because it contained Middle-earth references, of course. And because it was cute and fluffy.

And, just for fun, my (very inaccurate) estimate of Agent hS’s age (assuming he actually lived all those years and didn’t fall through a plot hole from Middle-earth)

I have absolutely no idea how long he spent in Valinor. Two thousand years? I take it he did leave Middle-earth, so:

The LOTR wiki says that the First Age was approximately 590 years long, which is at least better than my last estimate.

The appendices inform me that the Second Age was 3441 years long and the Third Age was 3021 years long.

This is where we get into the whole “how long is there between the end of the Third Age and the present” thing. I don’t have much of an idea, so I’m going to say fifteen thousand years.

So that gives me (hopefully my mental arithmetic works) 2000+590+3441+3021+15000= (oh, stuff it, I’ll use a calculator) 24052, which I’ll round to 24000 years

How did I do? Am I vaguely along the right lines? Probably not, but it’s good fun anyway.

I still think Kaitlyn is one of my favorite agents you've created. She's just so lighthearted and bubbly. now break her slowly with angst

Now I'm curious, though—even though Agent hS doesn't keep track of his age, what would be his ballpark estimate?

I guess I'm 33 today?

Which, as Agent Kaitlyn would certainly point out, is Hobbit coming-of-age. So it's a pint half-pint of 1420 beer for everyone on me!

hS

Hehe. Another instance of a self-appointed friend of a grouchy person ambushing him in the Cafeteria to give him some love whether he likes it or not. A fine tradition. I love it. And of course, Kaitlyn has her own unique approach to the situation. ^^

Yay for more Agent!hS, too! ... Did I tell you I started <a href="https://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Huinesoron(agent)">an article for him? I forgot about it for a while. >.>

~Neshomeh

I’m not into the superhero genre, but I liked this enough to keep reading, and thus I must report some faults that caught my eye.

The redhead couldn’t help but to laugh at that, her laughter combined with the other girl’s cry, attracted the attention of the area’s personnel, who proceeded to escort them out of the area.

You got a comma splice between the sentence ending with "at that" and the sentence starting with "her laughter"; since these are independent sentences, the comma should be either a period or a semicolon.

Also, the comma after "cry" doesn’t make sense standing alone (what would be the main clause and what would be the sub-clause there?). You may want to either drop the comma or insert another comma after "her laughter", making "combined with the other girl’s cry" an insertion in the main clause "her laughter attracted the attention of the area’s personnel" (which is correctly separated from the dependent clause "who proceeded to escort them out of the area" by another comma).

Thirdly, I don’t like the repetition of "area" in this sentence, especially when the instances refer to different areas. The "area’s personnel" is obviously the Nursery personnel (but Kryptogirl, who is this sentence’s POV character, doesn’t know yet that this place is called "Nursery"?) while the area the girls are escorted out of appears to be a common room which is just a part of the Nursery-area just as well as the sleeping chambers they are escorted to. If you want to avoid the term "Nursery" here (although it was already used elsewhere), replacing the second instance of "area" by something more specific would help to clarify that the girls are not escorted out of the area’s personnel’s domain.


A few moments later, they found themselves in their designated sleeping chambers.
Since they are obviously in the same chamber, I don’t see why the plural form should be used here.

She found her bed rather quickly, took the temporary cardboard ID and tore into pieces, finishing with slumping on the bed and curling into fetal position, still sobbing.
Shouldn’t this be "tore it into pieces" and "curling into a fetal position"?


Apparently Kryptogirl was given a name on arrival in the PPC; she just doesn’t like it and thus tries to ignore the fact when she pretends that she doesn’t have a name. From the disclaimer, I conclude that she’ll change it later. *checking the wiki* Yep. *going to read the other interludes*

HG

Hello newbie! Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!

I'm Twistey! Have a bowl of my latest creation, Poe Slaw! It's not actually coleslaw, it's a dessert, and it's got Bleeprin in it to make you feel better. Welcome aBoard! Got any agent ideas?

-Twistey

Have a Haro in the color of your choice!
https://www.gtsdistribution.com/images/BLUBAN228374_l.jpg

Welcome to the board, hope you enjoy yourself here.

Have a self-inking quill, it saves a lot of time.

What are your fandoms?

For your newbie gift, have a notebook which totally won’t posses you if you write in it. Just don’t set the Basilisk on me!

Have a slightly used suit of Imperial Guard issue flak armor, guaranteed for life (average lifespan of deployed Imperial Guardsman: 15hrs).

Have a brownie topped with marshmallows!

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking. We like it when newbies do the research. ;)

Hope you like it here!

Graham Linehan, who you may remember as the sack of depressed luncheon meat who wrote parts of a good show called Father Ted twenty years ago, is a ghastly TERFy moron. In the run-up to Christmas, he heard about how the charity Mermaids (a support organization for trans youth) was getting a grant from the Big Lottery Fund and got a bunch of equally TERFy morons on MumsNet (because of course) to bombard the Big Lottery Fund with thousands of badly-spelled form letters expressing dubious and non-specific "concern" until the Fund put the grant under review.

This, the astute among you might have realized, is not good news.

Harry Brewis, known better around the internet as HBomberguy, is a leftist YouTuber who streams sometimes. During an episode on why speedrunning is awesome, he said that he'd stream Donkey Kong 64 and beat it 100%, with a donation button for charity (yet to be chosen when the video was recorded) running while the stream was up. After seeing Graham Linehan's latest bit of manufactured outrage, he elected to give the proceeds of the stream to Mermaids.

I should mention here that Donkey Kong 64 is a collectathon made by Rare, and that therefore attempting a 100% completion run (actually 101%, because even Rare knew their games were complete BS sometimes) is, to put it mildly, an act of outright self-harm. One of the listed requirements for a player to submit their 101% complete speedrun to speedrun.com is that they must literally hate themselves. Harris took it further. You see, you don't actually have to get all the collectibles to get a 101% completion run in DK64. Harris set out to collect literally everything - all the bananas, all the battle crowns, all the ancillary guff you can think of, in an almost non-stop stream. His initial donation goal was $500. He thought that'd be a pretty good goal, given how his streams tend to be very small affairs. He did not get $500.

After appearances from people like Chelsea Manning, Owen Jones, John Romero, Mara Wilson, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and with the stream retweeted by everyone from Lindsay Ellis to Cher, Harris finally finished his 57-hour ordeal this morning.

The final donation count, raised by an unbelievable number of people, was...

Well, it's best if I just show you:-

Today when I popped over to the wiki, I noticed a banner at the top of the page announcing that they're migrating us over to fandom.com as part of their rebranding process, which began last year. This shouldn't affect us very much, if at all—wikia.com links will redirect to fandom.com, so nothing will break, and if anything, Fandom expects a general uptick in activity due to how Google works. However, those of us with websites and whatnot to maintain should be prepared to edit any wiki links we have, and of course the Nameless Admin will need to correct the links at the top of the Board.

I'm not sure what the Renaming of the Gods is going to do to the religion of Wechi, but I'm sure it will sort itself out. {= )

More information about the migration here.

~Neshomeh

A class that uses DEX as its spellcasting die.

An amazingly elegant dancer-type character using only her enchanted blades as armour; a sneaky halfling using her magic to cross gaps and stay out of both sight and mind of the treasury's guards; a fine archer using his connection to the arcane to make unbelievable shots.

That sort of thing.

Have a celebratory cupcake! It's chocolate with chocolate chips and chocolate icing!

Though, should it be Boarda, or Boardi? Just for the record.

Have some of my latest creation: Poe Slaw! It's not real coleslaw, but rather a parody of it - it's made of sugary foods. Like, the cabbage is taffy, and the mayonnaise is marshmallow sauce. It's also got a little bit of that Swiss Bleepolate you gave me melted down and mixed in, because another function of Poe Slaw is to put suggestions in your mind that maybe, just maybe, a badfic you just read is a trollfic, thus relieving you. Enjoy your birthday dessert!

-Twistey

Have a suit of Imperial Guard carapace armor. It's heavy, but it stops most things.

It’s just a few days until my own five year Boardiversary! I’m definitely glad you decided to stick around. :)

But first, a technicality. Since everybody can follow the link and read the story, you published an unbetaed mission. We don’t do this, unless we’re quite confident that we don’t need a beta, and only few of us can get away with that.

When you ask for betas, you should not link the story, but you should give us some hints, like word worlds involved or "no canon knowledge required", so that we can determine whether we feel qualified to do the beta reading. You should then wait until volunteers tell you their e-mail address and then send them the link to the story.

HG

It'll probably take a while for me to read the whole thing, I'm kinda pressed for time right now.