Dec 2018 Archive, part b

I've never read the Horus Heresy series, although I have heard good things about it. I have read a bunch of the other Black Library stuff, and the one I enjoyed the most was the Eisenhorn trilogy. It was interesting to watch the character develop as the books went on, as he became more and more willing to take risks to get the job done.

I can't really say much more about it, because it's been so long since I last read the books - I just have a lingering impression of a well developed character and his changing priorities as he progressed through his journey.

-Irish

Alternate Heresy timelines seem to spend most of their time on the Astartes, when there's a far bigger universe out there getting changed. For example, how would the Imperial Army develop? The Guard partly became what it is in m41-42 because of the massive shortage of marines after the Heresy. If the factions were split into thirds, they would all need a rapid influx of troops, so each faction might develop quite large forces of non-augmented soldiers. Thoughts?

He had to be tricked into joining Chaos. I'd say he joins the third faction due to his hatred of all things Warp.

Not having Magnus contact the Emperor means the Webway Project remains viable and not full of Tzeentchian daemons. That gives the Emperor a massive advantage.
Also, having the Emperor live to see that is huge. Having all those sons fall to Chaos should teach him humility and he will be a better father to his sons.

With that wisdom borne from regret, he would reach out to the Independent faction. They wouldn't remain Independent for long.

I'm going to throw out possible outcomes for non-Astartes factions.

Inquisition - still exists, but it's drastically different and more effective than its Prime-line counterpart.

Ecclesiarchy - doesn't exist. The Emperor insists on not being worshipped like a god. It helps that it becomes public that the Lectitio Divinitatus was written by Lorgar. I don't know if several forces related to the Ecclesiarchy (specifically the Sisters of Battle) will exist regardless, as the whole Goge Vandire and the Age of Apostasy events won't happen.

AdMech - under the Emperor's guidance, the Men of Iron debacle doesn't happen. Therefore, and with more of the Imperium not being ravaged by the Heresy as it was in Prime-line to support their activities, technological progress and STC finding is much faster. True AI constructs are still rare but they're harder to corrupt.

Imperial Guard - knowing that the Emperor is still alive and fighting at their side should prove a major morale boost. The Great Crusade should begin anew and more worlds join the Imperium.

Tyranids - the Pharos debacle doesn't happen so they aren't called in. That's a HUGE thing the Imperium doesn't have to fight.

Orks - the Beast WAAAGH! still happens but it's much better managed, with the Emperor and the Primarchs running things instead of a bunch of incompetent High Lords. Damages and casualties are still severe but not nearly as much as Prime-line demanded. Ullanor is destroyed and spoilers regarding that planet and a certain Ork never happen. The Ork threat beyond that becomes a lot more manageable to the Imperium.

Eldar (of all flavors) - they're still around, and they're still a threat. The Emperor might try to strike deals with them, citing Chaos as the common enemy, but the Eldar will either refuse, citing all those Traitor Legions boosting the Chaotic forces, or reluctanctly agree to the Emperor's deals. If there's any sort of alliance, it will be on shaky grounds and both sides will have detractors.
The Dark Eldar and Harlequins will of course not care. Nothing the Imperium can do will stop Slaanesh's predation on their souls or the Great Dance.


Tau - they're an interesting case. With an Imperium more open to diplomacy instead of "shoot first, shoot second and keep shooting" something good might come of this. Best case scenario, they're accepted amongst the Imperium as some abhuman species. Worst case scenario, Damocles happens but it's much better managed and without HF Behemoth to recall all those Imperium forces the Tau are completely destroyed.

Necrons - as with the Eldar, some deals might be struck with the Imperium with Chaos as the greater enemy. Likewise, they're still a threat.

You have him in the third faction, and I think your way of getting him there works, but... by overthrowing the Edict of Nikea, you let the Thousand Sons fall deeper and deeper into psk-craft and the Warp. And the Warp is dangerous. Sooner or later, Magnus is going to touch something that's too much for him to handle, and he's going to be consumed.

If what takes him is of Chaos, and if it's canny enough to not immediately go full Lovecraft, what you end up with is an effective Traitor Legion inside the third faction. If you believe that the Alpha Legion are in some sense still Imperial loyalists, or at least anti-Chaos, two of your three factions have a canker in their hearts. That promises to be an absolute nightmare to sort out.

Second question: it seems moderately likely that the Ruinstorm will still happen (it started at Calth, after all). But with the Emperor and the Astronomican still fully in play, will it be as effective? And even if it is - the Emperor has a functioning Webway portal. If he can learn to navigate it fast enough, he has the ability to drop his loyal legions pretty much anywhere.

Once again, things look pretty bad for the Independents. I think you're right that they need a leg up, but from who? The Cabal wouldn't go for it, I think - they're too tied up with 'humanity must die'. The Eldar... possible. It would lead to a War for the Webway, which means less attention being paid to Horus' faction. That's probably a bad thing, though if there's a reconciliation later (say, after the Indys lose the Thousand Sons to Chaos, and realise this is The Biggest Problem), dropping five legions out of the Webway on top of Horus would make quite a splash.

Who else? Well... if Magnus doesn't fall into Chaos, he seems likely to keep researching, and poking around psyk-active locations. He'd probably go after the Pharos, which means conflict with the Ultramarines. And... is there anything psyker about the Necron?

Come to think of it, it was Magnus who was in favour of learning from Xenos cultures in general, wasn't it? Yeah, I can totally see him poking about in Necron tombs and attempting to Warp-craft himself an 'alliance' with them.

I think that's my answer: the Indys, in rejecting the Emperor, also reject his fear of all things xenos. If the Loyalists represent Humanity, and the Traitors represent Chaos, then the Indys represent Everyone Else. They will use Xenos tech, everything they can get their hands on. And like everything else in 40K, it will come back to bite them, hard.

hS

This is part one of my attempt to make a complete version of Brighthammer 40,000, effectively a mirror-universe version of 40k, an idea which has been floating around the internet in various states of completion. More to come.

The Imperium
Deep in the vaults of the Imperial palace, the Emperor of humanity sits in contemplation. Assured of his greatness by concubines and boot-lickers, but unable to influence the Imperium his is said to rule, he finds himself wondering how this came to be, how a man became a god…
It began with the Warp storms. They brought interstellar travel to a halt, ending the Age of Technology and bringing forth the Age of Strife. It was a time of total chaos, of phosphex and volkite, a time when men were mad and peace was unknown. From all this came the man who would be the Emperor of humanity.
He began his quest as one of Terra’s countless squabbling warlords, just another strongman, albeit a skilled one, directing a band of troops in a constant war for resources and technology. This all changed when he met a man named Malcador, later called the hero. Malcador became good friends with the Emperor, and it was he who suggested the Emperor take on that title. Malcador proved a keen advisor to the Emperor, and together they created a plan not just to conquer Terra, but to rebuild humanity.
With gene manipulation and lost technology, they made warriors to rival any others. Soldiers like the Thunder Warriors and the Five-Two Chiliad, guided by the cunning tactics of the Emperor, made short work of tyrants like the Unspeakable King of Albia, Cardinal Tang, and Narthan Dume (half mad and half genius).
With the lands of Terra united, the Emperor could begin the next phase of the plan he had made with Malcador. This would be the Great Crusade: a quest to rebuild humanity, so that it might live in the light once more. To this end the Emperor started his most ambitious project yet: fatherhood.
The Emperor planned to produce twenty sons through genetic engineering, each with power to rival his own. These would be his Primarchs, and they would lead his legions in the upcoming crusade.
He did this with technology captured from his first extraplantery conquest. The defeat of the gene-cults of Luna and their cybernetic army by the 8th, 13th, and 16th space marine legions allowed him to acquire genetic modification technology, which would facilitate the creation of the Primarchs and the mass-production of space marines.
The Primarchs were made in a secret facility on Luna using all the knowledge the Emperor had at his disposal. But just as he had completed his greatest achievement, hidden forces finally made their move. The Primarchs were scattered across the universe by the strange gods that dwell in the Warp.
Thus the Emperor first learned of the Gods of Chaos, and he had a new task at hand: protect humanity from the perils of the Warp. With this in his mind, continued his Great
Crusade with a heavy heart, knowing that those ruinous powers could strike at any moment. As the Great Crusade continued, and he expanded the domain of humanity through diplomacy and conquest, he began to consider a possibility. His reputation had become nearly mythic, so perhaps he could cement his power by making himself truly mythical: he would be the Emperor of Humanity no longer, he would be the God-Emperor.
Cults in his name having already sprung up all over his domain, all the Emperor had to was continue working miracles. By the time he rediscovered the Primarch Horus Lupercal the Emperor’s divinity was without doubt.
With the Great Crusade well underway and the Primarchs gradually being discovered, the Emperor began to think his work was almost done.
His dream was shattered when Horus turned against him. With half the Space Marine Legions on his side, Horus quickly claimed large portions of the Imperium for himself, culminating in a daring attack on Terra.
The Emperor would have met demise in the battle that followed, if not for the heroism of Sub-Auxilius Ollanius Pius, who went toe-to-toe with Horus himself to prevent him from landing a killing blow on the Emperor. Pius perished at the hands of the Primarch, and reluctantly the Emperor struck dead his own son.
The rebellion dispersed with the death of Horus, as movements based around a single charismatic individual are wont to do. The Emperor continued to rule, but as time went on and his empire grew, ruling his dominion became increasingly difficult. Furthermore, many high ranking officials in the Imperium thought the duties of a common ruler beneath the dignity of a god, so the Emperor delegated some parts of his duty to other people of skill and character, and slowly he found himself being pushed further and further into the background of Imperial politics. The death blow to his reign came when Ecclesiarch Goge Vandire passed a law forbidding mortals from looking upon the Emperor without permission from a High Lord of Terra. To his horror, the Emperor found out that he had lost the power to veto the edict, since he was not technically a member of his own church. To this day he remains sealed in the deepest vaults of the Imperial palace.
… The scraping of the massive doors to his inner sanctum shocks the Emperor out of his reverie. He brushes the hair out of his eyes and peers into the gloom. The figure approaching him is not one of his guards or his counselors, but rather a sword-bearing human clad in blue armor. The figure speaks to him in the voice of a man he thought long dead:
“I think it’s time we had a chat,” the stranger pauses, unsure how to address that Master of Mankind. After a few moments, the newcomer finally speaks:
“Father.”

Alt Heresies are a popular thing in the 40k fandom, so on top of what you've written, Phobos, I may as well take a moment to share some of the other great ones:

The Dornian Heresy is Bolter And Chainsword's shot at a Heresy where the allegiances of every Primarch. So it's the violent traitors Leman Russ and Rogal Dorn and so on. Hence the name. The Roboutian Heresy is another crack at the same idea, which...I confess to not having read. But it's popular...

/tg/ did a trilogy of different heresies, only one making use of the canon primarchs, the other two using an entirely original cast. At least one of them actually uses the "three factions" idea. So that's neat.

And of course, the other alternate heresy: no heresy at all. Warhammer High is a collection of stories from a setting where there was no heresy, and all the primarchs settled down and had daughters who go to school together. I know, it sounds awful, and some of the stories aren't that great. But one particular writer by the name of Someone Else created a quadrilogy of brilliant long-form stories that are, in my opinion, some of the finest the fandom has to offer.

As for your heresy, I think it's viable! more alt heresies are are always fun. Although, of course, I advocate a Magnus-headed 3rd faction. If he could have gotten out of his situation without going Faust, it's quite likely what would have happened.

In that I generally have songs with lyrics to study, but with the volume fairly low.

But I will leave it up if I'm already focused, it acts to block out anything else. Just me, the work, and music.

My music is also over the place, my playlist goes from Eminem to Shinedown and Kasey Chambers.

I've got nothing in tips, I've got to learn more myself!

Actually, I'm helping my teacher set up a small board up for the class next year. To compile information and discuss stuff, maybe having something like that with peers?

A lot of it has little to no melodic interest, and there's a good deal of it that's rather peaceful in nature. And it's cool music in general. Check Syrsa out on YouTube. Please?

-Twistey, who's been a fan of the channel for a while

My username is clickable so you know where to send it. Congrats on finishing your first mission, by the way :)

That is, unless anyone adds anything this year (there's still time!) or spots any errors. Please let me know if you do!

Link, if you need it again: http://starshadowhall.tripod.com/ppc/songbook/

I'm gonna feel really weird next year when I check and find out I actually did it already. This has happened, like, once before. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

"Song for a Promotion"
(to the tune of "Canto Para Pedir Posada")

Somewhat abridged because the original song is a bit lengthy. Bold lyrics sung by Miguel Correa, italicized lyrics sung by the Floating Hyacinth.

Oh, Floating Hyacinth,
Why have you called for me?
Am I in trouble?
What must I do, what do you need?

Trainee Correa, I've been watching
You are performing your duties well.
One thing troubles me; why did you allow
Kei Amakura to live, pray tell?

Kei and her author explained
Themselves with logic that rang true;
I could not have forgiven myself
If I had killed her--no offense to you.

None taken. In any case,
Your time has come.
Trainee, do you swear by Eru
To fight against the uncanon?

In the name of Eru,
I vow to defend
Canon from Sues and bad OCs
Until my life ends.

Agents rejoice, rejoice
Welcome your new comrade
May your partners be loyal
And you never go mad.

So an idea popped into my head, and after I managed to coax the villagers into putting down the torches and pitchforks (the unsuspecting fools), it occurred to me that it might be worth sharing.

Having Christmas music on while my family did all the work cleaning up around the place for the holidays, and drifting through the usual carolling of tintinnabulations multifarious, resting of ye merry gentlepersons, and all that jazz, the Song of Durin started playing, and it. . . wasn't too far out of place.

Not the lyrics, per se, though there's a certain gloominess that befits winter for some folks, but the sound of the (admittedly not Dwarven) Clamavi de Profundus really was right up there with the choirs for songs like "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," and a few others that probably work better and my brain is deliberately holding out of reach.

The PPC is definitely the sort of place to pick up Dwarven-styled carols, and, if you have a listen here, I think you'll agree it's definitely a category that at the very least has more than a smidge of potential.

(Per the intent of the thread, though, I really do need to get to work on some Gallifreyan Christmas carols and tons of other parody-things)

Note: Morsimos was a wannabe tragic playwright whose complete lack of talent Aristophanes ridiculed in his Knights, Peace, and Frogs (and presumably in some others that we don't have).

To the tune of "One More Day" by Michael Vogel and Daniel Ingram, from The Best Gift Ever

We've got so many missions here!
There's just so much to do!
How did we get another ere
We'd slain Belle Baggins? No clue!
And now that Shelob's dined upon
The latest Gary Stu,
Tumnus has a CD player now!
Please tell me that's not true!

Set disguises, and go in!
(Beep! Go! Track! Charge! Slay! Repeat!)
Set the universe on track once again!
(Track! Charge! Slay! Again!)
Set that computerized tech alight!
Neuralyze everyone in sight!
Then we come back here,
To find that Fangorn Forest has disappeared!

So when the Ents got their home back,
What we get is so rare:
To our great delight and joy, we
Actually get time to spare!
We helped an Ewok Pyro for
Light Festival prepare.
Then we get a mission once again,
It never ends, I swear!

Now a Gimli lemon we
(Track! Charge! Ex-or-cise! Repeat!)
Have that wrecks all sane biology!
(Charge Sue! Slay! Again!)
Worse than Morsimos' satyr plays
Was this lemon we were sent to slay!
Back in the RC,
We took Bleeprin for our sanity.

All five of these eliminations
Filled sixteen hours.
We must have recuperation.
To sleeping stations!

All too soon, the console sends
Us a mission dire again.
And we've only got three hours' sleep; it never ends!
AAH!

We portal to Imladris now;
She sparkles? Yes; I fear
A Twilight vampire pays a call
To fall in love with Elrohir
Forgotten are Thuringwethil,
And Carcharoth. Oh dear;
She would join the Fellowship; we portal
Her straight into Anor's photosphere.

One more Sue! At the RC
(Beep! Go! Track! Charge! Slay! Repeat!)
We're another mission sent, and we see
(Track! Charge! Slay! Again!)
That a stalker Gary Stu, it seems,
Is messing now with Éowyn's dreams!
Be repulsed--No, she ditches Faramir!
'Tis time now for the Stu to disappear!
Charge him! Slay him! Memories erase!
Then we go back and--You do not mess with Ace!

Currently in the process of determining which of my two recordings of the song sounds better, so I can put it into Audacity with a backing track, fight the urge to autotune the heck out of myself because I hate how my voice sounds on recording, and export the file.

Further updates will come soon, as well as the lyrics if anyone's interested.

-Twistey

Based off the Catalan carol "El cant dels ocells", which you may listen to here. This is a very abridged version, on account of the original going on... basically forever.

---

All worlds now see emerge
The blue-white sparkling surge
In their dark winter night
All worlds have come to know
That storms and wind and snow
Will pass and set things right.

Great Arda, writ in song
Who suffered for so long
Rejoices and displays
The greatest power of love
That shines from up above
And lights their steps with rays

And Hogwarts now replies
With love in countless eyes
That it feels footsteps too;
In Pern love flies around
And Berk rings with the sound
Of hearts that beat anew

The mist rolls out into
Cair Paravel, and through
The lovelorn Aslan's eyes;
And Redwall Abbey's spires
Play host to new desires
That none can demonise

All worlds can see the light
Of lust - er love, pure white
As fresh undriven snow;
The canon matters not,
These guys are super hot,
So let's enjoy the show...

only sort of. I present:

"Elrond's Daughter Once Went Out"
To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas" and with apologies for failing to rhyme.


Elrond’s daughter once went out
On the feast of Stephen
Where the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When Legolas came in sight
Gathering winter fuel

“Hither, maid, and stand by me,
If thou know’st it telling
Yonder Elf-prince, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?”
“Ma’am, his name is Legolas
From the realm of Mirkwood
He is son of Thranduil
King of that fair realm”

“Bring me jewels and bring me gowns
Bring my make-up hither,
Thou and I shall see him dine,
On my flawless beauty”
Maid and princess forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the house of Rivendell
To the princess’s room.

In that room the princess dressed
There to woo an Elf-prince
She wore jewels, she wore rubies
And a gown of silver
“See, my good maid, am I not
The fairest of all?
Can Legolas fail to be
Mine for eternity?”

When the door flew open and
Jay and Acy entered
Furious they charged the Sue
And then Acy stabbed her.
They threw her into the fire
Canon was restored
Jay and Acy then returned
To destroy more Sues.

But when I heard this tune, I just had to make it about the agents working overtime (then again, don't they always?):

"Merry Christmas, PPC!"
melody: Shakin' Stevens - Merry Christmas, everyone!


Sues are falling all around me
Agents slaying, having fun
It's the season for tons of awful fanfics
Merry Christmas PPC!

Time for parties and celebrations
After we're done work overtime
Time for presents, the loot from fallen targets
If the Flowers give a dime.

We're gonna have a party tonight
I'm gonna find that Sue
in the plot hole where she hides, I'll use my dynamite!

Canon's swaying, Sues are spreading
All the old songs, we love to hear
This once claims, she's Harry's long lost sister
What a nice way to spend the year

We're gonna have a party tonight
I'm gonna find that Sue
in the plot hole where she hides, I'll use my dynamite!

Sues are falling, all around me
Agents slaying, having fun
It's the season, for tons of awful fanfics
Merry Christmas PPC!
Merry Christmas PPC!



And because I'm silly, here's Guidline 4:

[CLICK]

A Chanukah song! I'm not sure this one has been filked yet? Something to check, I guess.

"DOGA Agents Light", to the tune of "Chanukiyah Li Yesh"

I have a candle here
It's been with me all year
I want to light it soon
But badfics say it's noon

DOGA agents light, we light
Our fires burn so bright
DOGA agents light, we light
Our fires burn so bright!

My flamethrower's a blast
Just like in all years past
It helps me out a lot
In all the tightest spots

DOGA agents light, etc

And when new kingdoms grow
Where none should be, I go
And burn them down so we
Can keep the canon free

DOGA agents light, etc

I am, first of all, bloody sorry, Silly, it took us so long to actually get onto this. Good grief. It's not usually this long!
Perhaps it's just a busy time of year, eh? Still, sorry, man.

Covering the easy stuff first, in regards to your community participation: good stuff! I know who you are, you pop up on the Discord, you're a good fella. Good stuff.

Here’s my notes I squiggled up while reading your stuff.

Phil
- He seems like a reasonable enough character throughout. Realistic and all - I like the somewhat contradiction of him being both laid back but really motivated.
- Why does he ‘hate Mary Sues with a burning passion’? I assume it all somehow ties into his fondness for literature? There’s certain areas like this, I think, where you can flesh out your character even more (though what you have already is still pretty fine.)

Spensor
- You know what, this may very well be the third vending machine agent the PPC has had throughout its history, fun fact :P. Nothing wrong with that, of course. Perhaps they should form a club.
- I’m a big fan of the concept of somebody realising they don’t exist and promptly being sucked into the PPC, actually. Hope that gets explored in your spinoff or whatnot!
- Thoroughly solid character, otherwise.

Prompt 1
- RC 6969 hehe nice

- ‘Current lone occupant’ is a bit redundant. We can assume he’s the current occupant! Look out for redundancies like that, they tend to bog stories down all muddy-like.

- In one sentence you spell higher-ups with a hyphen, in the other, without it. Which, while not a massive grammatical story killing error, it’s a bit messy innit?

- ‘Clearly someone had to teach this boy about mp3s and earbuds’ whose thoughts are these? This part of the prompt reads as if it’s from Spensor’s perspective, so that train of thought, which seemingly is not from his perspective, is pretty jarring!

- Otherwise, you capture a lot of exuberance and character in Spensor’s introduction. You can immediately tell the kind of person he is through the whole thing--I’m fond of the touch of him just littering, and I like the contrast, too, with the musical choices of the agents.

- The introduction of the two agents, I must say, is somewhat awkward. The way they speak reads as if they were previously familiar with each other, while it’s meant, rather (I think, anyway) to read as Phil being surprised that his partner is a giant robot, in general. There’s a lot of specific definite pronouns here - ‘going to be you’, ‘if they had told you who it was.’
I’d suggest, rather, using indefinite pronouns, to show that he’s surprised by the fact Spensor’s a robot, and not that he’s surprised to be meeting him again, or any such like that.

- I have absolutely no idea how he managed to fit inside the RC through the usage of a trolley. Did they take him apart and push him in? Eh? You should probably improve clarity there, because it totally lost me.

- I’m not sure what a ‘slightly synthesised voice’ is meant to sound like, either. Bit vague, there.

- I’m a big fan of how thoroughly nineties Spensor is. That is fantastically ridiculous, that, and a wonderful way to play off his canonical origins. Phil’s horror towards it is written in very classic agent fashion, but it’s bloody funny and relateable and so on.

Prompt 2
- ‘“Hrmmm...patchy,” he commented.’ is a hilariously understated and bland thing to say, after all that incredibly depressing build up in this story’s intro. Funny stuff, man.

- Missed a single comma between ‘thick framed glasses’ and ‘hoop earrings’

- Something about Phil’s dialogue, in general, gets very vividly across an incredibly tired agony. Poor fella.

- I’ll admit to not being sure as to what the administrator’s ‘“You can’t be serious. If you do this he’ll-”’ is actually referring to.

- Thoroughly solid prompt! Funny throughout and you captured Phil’s character well. I’d certainly like to see more of Spensor at some point, more depths in him and all, but I guess that’s what the rest of the spinoff is for, eh?

So as far as PPC canon knowledge and suchforth goes, it’s solid. You have a good grasp of tone, too, both PPC-wise and the tone of your stories themselves. I definitely think your second prompt is superior to your first one. You've really gotta work on that first one. Your characters have a pretty solid, if somewhat simple, chemistry together.
I would, were I you, watch out that the two of them don’t become sort of, simplistic cartoons where it’s always Phil=resigned straight man and Spensor=silly wise guy, but this is just their introductory stuff. I got faith in you!

SPaGwise, it’s a bit messy. There’s a few redundancies here, a missed comma, pronoun mixups, et al and so on. Issues with clarity a few times, as well, which do kill off a few gags. Especially in the first prompt. I’d recommend running quickly through those again and keeping more careful of that stuff in advance.

There’s a bit of stuff you've got to work on. That’s fine! I probably do. I need to stop saying 'got', probably. I think you've a good grasp on the important things we're looking for in permission--the spirit and feel of the PPC, your characters, whether or not you can write fun stories with them, so on.

Permission granted! Good stuff. Good on ya!

I started looking at this today, but I ran out of time. I will say you've still got some SPaG issues, so maybe have another look at it? I'll be on a train most of tomorrow, but if there's decent WiFi I'll try to have another look and give a proper response.

~Neshomeh

As of writing this, there are still thirteen empty slots. Since I want to give everyone a fair chance to volunteer the agents they want, I've not been filling in the additional "if you need more people" tributes. But since replies seem to be slowing down, I've come to a decision so this isn't postponed indefinitely:

As of 6:00 PM EST tomorrow, the secondary volunteers will be added. This will, as before, be first come, first serve - that is, the earlier they were given up, the more likely it'll be that they actually get in. Unless I find someone I just especially want to write in, in which case I declare that I'm running this and therefore get to take pleasure in having some specific names that make me smile. I'm sure everyone knows how that goes, and if you decide you don't like it... okay I'll probably change it if you come tell me it made you mad.

. . . seeing as I've barely given him any screen time so far!

—doctorlit

If so I'll be sending Agents Theo and Cinnabar in. Let's set this place alight!

Then, as promised, my entries:

1. Jacques Bonnefoy ("wizard!Jacques"). 25 year old wizard of Scottish and French parentage from a Potterverse fusion. Mortal.

2. Jacques Bonnefoy ("Canon!Jacques"). 150+ year old immortal human from the 51st century, aka the one you can find on the wiki.

3. Jacques Bonnefoy ("EPC!Jacques"). 150+ year old immortal (and immoral!) human from the 51st century, aka the one from the the Mirrorverse who wears a lot more black.

4. Jacques Bonnefoy ("Young!Jacques"). 21 year old human from the 51st century. Very recently a Time Agent. Mortal.

Because the joke that my entry would be four versions of Jacques was made, and I found the idea of actually doing it hilarious. Enjoy? :D

~Z

Seung-Li Kim, Lilac Mauveridge, Salvo, and Velociripper!

Same two agents-to-be as last time, CSF Officer Larkus Grun and Turff-Croft A.K.A. Curff the Sorcerer. Last time I got sidetracked by a six hundred mile road trip after the first interview, hopefully this time I'll actually get to stick with it.

Derik and Gall want in for sure. If you need extras, you can throw Caprice and Shimon into the mix, as well.

I may not be able to reply much in the next few days, but I'll try to keep up with it while I'm on vacation.

~Neshomeh

I volunteer Kaitlyn and Selene as tribute, and if there's room after that, I'll throw Morgan and - why not? - Dafydd into the mix too.

Can't wait!

hS

I'll toss Apecian and Michael into this one and hope they can get somewhere. It'll help me get back into the swing of things. Maybe. ... Very maybe.

Kat isn’t allowed her ymbryne powers as that makes her way too OP.

Edward: I’m treating this as a training exercise. If I can survive half of HQ then I can survive any Sue, however powerful.

Kat: That and you want to be bloodthirsty without causing any actual damage. Anyway, I’m only joining to support Edward. Not expecting to be much use with my sub-par fighting skills, but anything’s better than endless Suefics.

Marina gets a chance to continue her little vandetta with the PPCHG staff, Richard a chance for more training in really extreme situations.

Farah Tahar, Crossovers (hani): "Well, we've had a few close calls recently, and I figure I could use some combat practice. I hope."

Kkukttak[1], Crossovers (kif): "I could use this to prove my worth, and also to learn more about other agents and how they fight. I should sign up."

Taq, Mary Sues (Tolkienverse orc): [just a bit after the sign-up deadline] "Hey, hey, can I still get in, please? This sounds like a good time!" (In other words, toss him in if you need more people)

Peregrin, Mary Sues (Human, Anathem-verse avout): [several days after the deadline, while checking email] "Oh, the Henger Games are being organized again ... Huh, must have not noticed. Oh well. No time right now anyway." (That is, he's not in)

- Tomash

[1]: Please note that, since I'm not sure the apostrophe that used to be in his name was canonically possible, it has been replaced until I check

I'll chuck in old mates Finch and Bingle and, if you need more, I suppose, Ninetwo and Anne, as well.

Bloodshed! Murder! Kill them! And a good riddance!

If those are allowed from literally whos, then throw Amber into the thing and may the odds be ever in her favor.

The Aviator and Zeb are always my first nominees, of course. :P If you end up needing more agents to fill slots, feel free to drag in Ix and Charlotte, and Lorson and Dax, but I'll leave that open for other people to sign up first.

I'll nominate the Detective to fight in my stead, though, since I'm not feeling particularly like swinging any punches. Jack deserves a chance to sit this one out, though. Maybe comments from the peanut gallery.

Onwards, fictional minions! Conduct brutal, bloody combat for my personal amusement!

I would like to volunteer my one and only agent, Ce'rana of Borune.

"Allow me to make it entirely clear that my participation was not my idea. It was my partner's. However, I cannot say it will not be fun. The best of luck to all my fellow competitors."

And I shall send... Thoth, O'course!

“Everyone has their sassy pants on” - From “This, You Protect,” a really excellent MCU fic focused on post-Winter-Soldier Bucky, and which has since spawned multiple sequels of similar quality and subject matter.

“Sans is like HELL NO” - From a relatively unpolished (but still funny) Undertale fanfic chronicling a certain punny skeleton’s time in the PTA.

“Cinder attempts morals” - From CSMN volume three (https://archiveofourown.org/series/452845), a RWBY AU starring Cinder and her team as the protagonists.

“Come join me in the trash” - From “That Would Be Enough,” a reader insert in which “you” set out to discover who made the CORE and why no one seems to remember their name.

From a brief search, I've found the following:

"'why is this a pokemon au' you might ask"

"all the horcruxes are alphas" (in a fic shipping Horcruxes with Harry)

"no plot we die like fluffy men"

Let's see. I like how you show that Hip and Hop grate on each other during down time and start to bicker, but then become a more cohesive team when they have a mission to complete. I also like how you made Hip stand as a contrast to Aeron. She starts out attacking and threatening her partner just before a scheduled medication to rein in her Sue nature, showing how a relatively minor, reformed Sue's attitude can affect those around her. Then, during the mission, we see how a fully blown, no-holds-barred Sue can distort everything around her. Hip getting embarrassed when reminded of her past shows the difference in level of actual personality between the two characters, and why someone like Hip can be recruited, and someone like Aeron needs to be assassinated.

One minor technical criticism: you didn't show the Voldemort replacement getting charged. Any assassination needs to be charged, even if they weren't a proper Sue in-story. I know it's a bit rote at this point, but it is one of Da Rules Jay and Acacia established, so.

And here are some basic typos:

"Her mask was now slightly crooked and the pointy hood of her robe was blew away."
"Blew" is the plain past tense form. With "was" at the front, the verb becomes "was blown."

"She walked up to the Replacement, grabbed him by the neck, lifted in the air, and raged at him for be ballsy enough to demand anything from her . . ."
1. "Lifted in the air" still needs an object for the verb "lifted." It should be "lifted him in the air"
2. Mmmmm I kind of forget the grammar rule on this one, but it should be "for being ballsy."

"The portal opened in the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the movie . . ."
The "the"s are redundant here. I would personally keep the first one, but the sentence still works either way.

—doctorlit, reviewing missions instead of playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

That fic though... I don't... what?!

Seriously, was it done like that on purpose? I can't wrap my head around it...

was one of the worst I've seen. I'm impressed you actually managed to read enough to spork it!

I also like the agents getting some relaxing time at the end. The console will be beeping like mad when they get back, though!

Awww! Something cute, and then funny. Perfect for the season!

That might be the funniest 'sue I've every seen. Anyone can write a bland or uninteresting main character, but that one was impressively weird. I'm not convinced this isn't a trollfic.

I don't own any of those clothes and you FORGOT MY TATTOO.
Alright, pretending to be angry over, let's talk what I actually look like.
I'm pale, brown-haired (you got my hair length about right, actually), and have glasses. I tend to wear a lot of dark-colored (but rarely black) t-shirts, and if I'm in long sleeves I'll always roll up the left one so it doesn't cover my tattoo. I wear jeans a lot but don't have any ripped ones. I'm fond of dresses but the lack of pockets isn't usually worth it. I keep my hair down 99% of the time but usually have a chaplet or hat over it. I'm almost always wearing a pair of battered blue canvas slip-on shoes, and lots of necklaces. As of right now I wear four or five: a string of bluelace agate chips, a pentacle and crescent on a silver chain, a loop of knotted yarn that I use as prayer beads, and a wooden Fibonacci spiral and craft beads on a black cord, and at certain times a choker made of red embroidery string. I tuck the yarn and wooden pendant into my shirt and leave the agate, pentacle, and choker out. I'm fond of shawls and will even wear lightweight ones in the summer, but have lately begun wearing sweaters more often. As of right now I also wear a blue-gray scarf embroidered with beads on the ends, draped as a stole, for mourning.
As for what Willis looks like, I have no shpxing clue.
This was fun! :D

Thanks for paying attention to what now seems to be his virtual present.

-Twistey

Little bit spooked that anyone on here even remembers I exist. Most days *I'm* not wholly confident I exist. But! I am both amused and humbled at the dedication you've shown to this thought experiment.

(Black hair, plain t-shirts in sombre colours, and dark jeans. Sort of grumpy-librarian-on-her-day-off. It's also a pretty good bet I'm wearing gloves or wristwarmers anytime between September and May.

(But I cannot deny that I wore a lot of sweaters with designs when I was a teenager . . . I didn't buy my own clothes . . .)

--Kaitlyn

The overall theme seems to be that I'm a few increments more butch than Willis guessed: jeans, (short-sleeved) t-shirt, and plaid flannel are normal wear, my hair's basically still in a thirteenth-doctor bob, and my wrists are undecorated. Skinny is right, pasty is wrong, although not through any effort on my part - I tan super easily.

For someone who has never seen a picture of me, it's a rather good portrait! I would not have been that close.

hS

Oh my, no! My clothes only look like that when I'm at a funeral or wedding! I do prefer collared shirts, but I'm all about the short sleeves and shorts, even in winter. The chill feels good and shorts are comfy and easy to wear. I also prefer flip-flops when I'm not at work, also even in winter. (Do not listen to Larfen. They are called flip-flops, not thongs.)

As for hair, I definitely don't comb mine; I barely have time on weekdays as it is to shave and get dressed. My technical, official, default haircut is a #2 length buzz cut, but because I hate actually spending time on my appearance, I let it grow out as long as I can until it starts bothering my ears. I think I cut my hair four or fives times a year? I've never really though to keep track. But I definitely never comb it, no matter how long it gets. I do keep clean-shaved though, because facial hair is disgusting and I wish it would stop.

What else is in that picture? A belt. I don't wear belts, I wear shorts that actually fit me. I've never understood belts much. And then, that briefcase. Heh. I bring my work lunch in a good, old cheap Walmart backpack. The only briefcase I own is the one I keep my Magic: the Gathering decks in, which doesn't really see use any more.

—doctorlit, suddenly reminded that he has a physical appearance that other humans can see

I can definitely see where you’re coming from and if I actually looked like my name suggests you’d be right.

Unfortunately, I definitely don’t! You got my hair and eye colour wrong. My hair isn’t as long as you said it was, either, and while my skin is pale it’s not *that* pale. I don’t have a pair of black jeans, although they’re not too far outside my style.

No guesses for the others because I don’t know what any of you look like IRL so I can’t have any hope of being accurate.

Well, apparently I resemble my personality. Wouldn't be the first time a PPCer told me I look or sound like they expected me to. It's even funnier because I actually am wearing a striped sweater this very day. I also own a Time Turner necklace, so even the Deathly Hallows guess is in the right ballpark. Here's proof in poorly lit bathroom selfie form.

My default necklace is a dragon perched on a green glass stone, though. {= )

For the rest, Kaitlyn's not too wrong except for the hair, I think, and Ix sounds pretty good except for the accessories (though I may be wrong!). I can tell you that the guesses for hS and doc are way off. ^_^

~Neshomeh

With Delta as a close second.

The idea of hS with a soul patch will never leave my mind now, though. XD

I do have some very nice sunglasses that I carry around in my pocket that I can whip out if things get too bright, but my default is actually dark wash jeans and black graphic tees. :P

I shouldn't have described my hair as "medium length"—it's way too long! I look like a surfer. Or Tedd from EGS. XD

No, my vote for "most accurate" goes to Neshomeh. Although she is free to contradict me.

Right now, I happen to be developing a fighter game with pretty much the exact same premise! (Only difference is that my arena is also run by a Sue, and it's secretly training the Sues to overthrow the "plot cops", or writing critics.)

Which begs the question, do you want to help me create some of the characters? And/or can I take my Sues from said game for a quasi-test run in here?

-Twistey

On C-Fy: there is no fourth wall with C-Fy. Also, she counts her age by how long her character design has existed.

Please post a reply with the Sue name, badfic name, badfic link, Sue personality, and anything else you deem necessary before writing them in.

Also, stay out of the CRs (cringe rooms).

P.S. Question: do you think SPaGhetti could counter the effects of the Anti-SPaG room?

Is there a door or do we wait for the transporter to pick us up? (Asking for a link)

If it is what I think, beam me up Scotty!

Been forever since I've said that. =]