So... not so long ago, nine posters for Fantastic Beasts have been revealed. Let's put them under the microscope!
First one: Newt Scamander, the Magizoologist.
All I can see is the inside of his TARDIS-like suitcase, with books, drawers, and a picture of a Niffler which is adorable and I want one! There is also a Bowtruckle chillin' on Newt's jacket.
Up next, future Mrs. Scamander - Porpentina Goldstein, the MACUSA Auror.
We get a closer look at the MACUSA Clock of Danger, and what looks like Tina's ID on the right. I'm not sure what the numbers in the upper right mean.
NEXT! The Flash... I mean, Credence Barebone, the Second Salemer.
Now, we know that Credence is supposed to be a "notable" character within the Harry Potter universe. I have a theory on that, along with our next guy, which I'll save for last.
Then, we have Percival Graves, the Director of Magical Security.
Now, about President Piggles' right-hand minion... anything catches your eye? That, by itself, was a hint. Also, remember the background of Graves's poster, 'cause we're gonna be back here.
Up next, it's Tina's sister - Queenie Goldstein, the Legilimens.
Queenie was stated to be a very proficient Legilimens, with the ability to not only see in one's memories, but also share empathic connection... which I assume would make her a sorta Wizarding Cold Reader/Lie Detector. I also think that the locket on the mannequin in the background is not random.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Seraphina Picquery, the President of MACUSA
As for our friendly neighborhood dictator, I don't think she's gonna be the true villain of the trilogy. She's a bureaucrat, takes her job very seriously, and probably has the ideal model of American Wizarding Society in her mind, but isn't remotely close do Voldemort or Grindelwald.
Our next contestant is... umm... Gnarlak, the Goblin Gangster
Honestly, I don't know Gnarlak's exact role in the films. He owns a Wizarding Speakeasy, where at least one fighting scene will occur (as seen in the trailers), and my best guess is he's gonna be Newt's informant around the city. Most likely gonna end up selling them out, but that's not the topic for today.
Now someone who's probably gonna be the comic relief, but one can hope for more - Jacob Kowalski, the No-Maj.
And apparently an owner of one fine-looking bakery. Shame I can't say anything more about Jakey-boy, as his character intrigues me the most out of the main cast.
And finally, the one, the only... American Umbridge! Mary Lou Barebone, the Leader of the Second Salemers
Descendant of Bartholomew Barebone, who himself descends from a Scourer, means Mary Lou has a very diluted magic running in her blood. Also worth noting is that all of her children (Credence and his two sisters) are adopted.
Now that we have the posters done, let's take a step forward, and theorize about the film before it comes out:
We roughly know the outline of the first film. Newt Scamander visits New York, probably because of his research, but stuff happens and all the creatures he brought with him are set free and he has to chase around after them. Simple, until you remember there are two more films in the Fantastic Beasts series. It'd be too repetitive if the entire trilogy focused on capturing escaped animals, so here's my idea how's it gonna go:
Remember Percival Graves's poster? His is the only one with the Deathly Hallows necklace. Or, what's known to most wizards as the symbol of Gellert Grindelwald. But why is it in Graves's poster specifically? Well, the answer is in the final trailer! Here at 2:06 we hear Graves saying "I refuse to bow down any longer." And earlier, he pulls Credence to the side and tells him, "We've lived in the shadows for too long" [1:16]. The wall in Graves's poster also has significance; it symbolizes his breakthrough. And the fact that the wall is riddled with the Salemers' posters is an additional touch. So let me explain it now:
Percival Graves will turn out to be a traitor. Maybe by the end of the first film, when Newt and MACUSA will combat the mysterious foggy creature of darkness and destruction, it will be revealed that Graves was the one who somehow tamed the creature/made its hunting easier by sickening it onto important No-Majes, such as Shaw, and Senator Shaw, Jr.? In the end, him and Credence are gonna flee America. Why Credence you ask? Besides being the "notable" figure in the universe, I'm thinking on one more possibility:
Credence Barebone may turn out to be a wizard. He's Mary Lou's adopted son, but he wasn't specified to be a No-Maj. Perhaps Mary Lou's dormant magic senses told her to adopt Credence, because he'd be a great addition to her anti-wizard campaign? And since he's easily manipulated by Graves, both are going to escape America. Why? To join Gellert Grindelwald's army of course! In the final trailer, President Picquery first mistakes Newt's accident as an act of aggression, similar to those of Grindelwald's attacks in Europe [1:40], and is ready to go to war if necessary. That means Grindelwald is active in Europe in the 1920s! After being tired of President Pickles's rule, Graves could decide to work with someone who has more... strict approach. And Credence was supposed to be a "notable" figure in the Harry Potter universe; nobody said a "notable, positive" figure. As far as we know, he may grow to become Grindelwald's right-hand man!
So, to sum up, this is what I think is gonna go down:
First Film - capturing magical creatures in New York, Graves revealed to be the main villain, him and Credence flee to join Grindelwald.
Second Film - journey through Europe. More creatures native to the Continent, perhaps a visit to the 1920s Ministry of Magic? (We could see Minister Archer Evermonde, and Harry's great-grandfather Henry!), rallying people up against Grindelwald?
Third Film - all-out British Ministry and MACUSA vs. Grindelwald's army!
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Fantastic Beasts: Posters with Hints by
on 2016-10-11 16:39:00 UTC
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My theory bites the dust. Not three, but five by
on 2016-10-13 23:00:00 UTC
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Yep... a sort of "press conference" happened today, and Rowling stated the Fantastic Beasts franchise will get FIVE movies...
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Oh, come on, what? by
on 2016-10-14 09:05:00 UTC
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That's ridiculous.
On the plus side... well, there's two:
1/ Since it's not based on a preexisting story, it shouldn't suffer from Hobbit syndrome and have to stretch the plot out until it snaps (like butter spread over too much bread, if I may).
2/ This ups the chance that the story will run through to 1945 and the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel. That would make #5 ('Please, Newt, Just Lock The Suitcase For Once') a magical war film. I... can get behind this.
hS -
Well, we've had space Spitfires... by
on 2016-10-14 15:27:00 UTC
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No reason we can't have Mosquitoes borne aloft by racing brooms for night attacks... =]
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Mosquitoes... flying with brooms? by
on 2016-10-14 19:25:00 UTC
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... I'll let the offense to the Wooden Wonder slide.
Though, considering it was a wooden airplane so good that the Nazi went crazy thinking "We struggle to make aircraft with the scarce aluminium we have, and they build a superior one with WOOD?", I have to suspect it was made from racing broom-grade wood... -
What if it's wand wood? by
on 2016-10-14 20:17:00 UTC
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Imagine - you stuff it full of whatever the magical-creature-derived-product you can get in the largest quantities is. Doesn't matter if it's virtually a magical null, the sheer amount in there means that when you press your hand to the side of the cockpit and yell "Expelliamus!", the entire enemy army simultaneously have their weapons thrown halfway across the battlefield.
Of course, wand-trees are rare... but that may be because they were all cut down to make planes, no? ... no?
hS -
You... do realise you don't have to use wand wood, right? by
on 2016-10-14 21:53:00 UTC
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Just cast the same suite of charms you cast on a racing broom, only a load more of them. I mean, if one admittedly-obsessive bloke working in his back garden can get a Ford Anglia airborne reliably enough that children can pilot it from London to whichever midge-infested Scotch boghole Hogwarts squats in, then a team of wizards churning out planes for the War Effort can probably do a hell of a lot more. Plus, this is all before the ban on flying carpets, which (with the addition of shield, warming, and Bubble-Head charms for altitude) would have made amazing transport planes for Resistance supplies and paratroopers.
...
Nerrr-NER-ner-ner-nernernerner-NERRRRR-ner-ner-ner-nernernerner... -
Nah, I've moved on from making it fly. by
on 2016-10-14 21:57:00 UTC
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I'm turning the entire plane into a flying wand able to cast megaton-level spells. "A wizard's reach should exceed his grasp..."
hS -
And every piano factory in Britain churning them out... by
on 2016-10-14 22:10:00 UTC
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But, um, where are you getting the wand... cores...
Wait.
Since you don't need a fuel tank, you could - rather than a single dragon heartstring - have one or more dragon hearts. -
And the dragon genocide continues. by
on 2016-10-14 22:45:00 UTC
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They can join the Sasquatch in oblivion.
That said, and though it will make Olivander squirm, there's no reason to use his three pet cores. The evidence suggests that basically any magical critter can be sliced up and used for wand cores. What's the most common, infest-y magical beast around? If they're hairy, you don't even have to kill them - just shave them and use that.
Planes stuffed with magic rat hair... well, at least it gives Newt something to do.
hS -
I, for one, find this idea genius. by
on 2016-10-15 00:05:00 UTC
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Why has nobody else thought about making a giant wand?
Of course, we could then get into the implications of what a wand is supposed to represent. -
"Come on, Hermione, let me show you my giant wand!" *SLAP* (nm) by
on 2016-10-15 03:19:00 UTC
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Now that this mindset has been forced upon you, dear reader, by
on 2016-10-15 07:45:00 UTC
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go back and look at DCCCV's earlier post.
Look at the whole thing.
Lovely, innit? -
That is a lot of information. by
on 2016-10-12 11:18:00 UTC
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I think I might have to split this over multiple posts.
Newt
That's definitely the inside of the suitcase. A few items of interest:
Some kind of carnival mask? Could be a hint of personality; alternately, it might be designed to get hatchlings to imprint on you. Pretty strange bird, in that case.
We have 'special feed codes' for three creatures. One looks like it might say 'Beaked [something] Griffin'? The second just says 'Feathered', which sounds like a word cut out for secrecy. I can't read the Niffler sketch.
Newt has samples! He has billywig stings, and something with bismuth in it. We can also see that he purchases from [W]iseacre's Wizarding Equ[ipment].
Porpentina
You highlighted a locket on Queenie's picture? Porpentina has one too.
Her middle name is Esther. The fact that she has a traditionally-Jewish surname and middle name suggests an intriguing possibility - could she/her family actually be religious wizards? The surname could just be a relic of her distant ancestry, but the presence of the middle name suggests intent.
I'm not sure what the other items under her name are - they could be authorising names, or descriptions of her job, but I think the first might say [Felisal???] Wand. The printed text underneath the handwritten seems to start with 'AND IS', so the ID card certifies that Porpentina Esther Goldstein IS [something] [handwritten x2] AND IS [something long]. Hmm.
Credence
Newt and Jacob are wanted for bank robbery. ^^ I guess that bank scene we keep seeing is significant.
<img src="http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h259/TangledWebs/credenceposters.jpg">
The Salemers meet in Pike Street, and Mary Lou is speaking in person. The other posters seem unrelated, but advertise various things in Coney Island (and one in Brooklyn) in October and November.
Percival
No pictures. I think you're right about the Grindelwald connection - his lines in the trailer ("Who does this protect? Us -- or them?") suggest he shares Gellert's philosophy of wizards ruling overmugglesNo-Majs. I'm dubious about him leaving America, though, for one reason:
Ilvermorny. We've got a lot of information about the school, but no indication that it's really in the film. I think it's going to be significant in one of the other films of the trilogy, and that means staying in America.
On the other hand, Grindelwald is the only pre-Potter historical event we have any details on. It would take a strong filmmaker not to want to delve into that - particularly when it promises the chance to show young Albus Dumbledore. So I think either one of the other films will spill over to '20s England (or maybe '30s... guess we can't stretch it out to 1945), or Grindelwald and Dumbledore will both end up in America for Reasons.
Queenie
That necklace. Did you imply you know something about it? I agree that it's very deliberately placed, but I don't recognise it.
The picture to her right looks like it just might be a map of Manhattan. I think it's definitely an island surrounded by rivers, though it could also be some sort of animal - a dragon?
To her left is an owl - Hogwarts connection? More interestingly, that looks almost like a wireless underneath it. She has electric lights, too - very technologically progressive for a witch.
She also has a matched set of all seven volumes of Chadwick's Charms. Yup, set of seven books, nothing suspicious at all there...
President Piggles
Nothing significant here; I just want to say that I love the design work on this film. Absolutely love it.
Do rings have any magical significance? How about a glowing blue wand?
Hi, Percy! But who are those folks behind you? Well, they're very racially diverse, but more interestingly, their dress implies they might be foreign representatives. That could go either way, though, and it's not like darker skin is uncommon in America. (Is the woman on the right Chinese? She looks like she might be, but I'm not sure.)
Emergency Message
Issued by the MACUSA Surveillance Department
Warning!Warning!Warning!Warning!
Exposure Threat level Has [Reached]
=== Unexplained Activity ===
-- Do Not Let It Reach: Level [?] --
President Seraphina Picquery will address the wizarding [...]
letter. If you require more information please contact [...]
Surveillance Wizarding Resources Department [something] [...]
They will be able to provide support and advise you on how to st[...]
in an emergency. Further advice can also be found in MACUSA: [...]
In The Workplace
[...] Be Vigilant.
Welcome to MACUSA
How to Stay Safe
And Avoid Accidents
[...] read this leaflet carefully to avoid and unwanted accidents
[...] [something] during your stay. Any questions please contact the
[...] A.W.R (Wizarding Resources Department) on Level 1013.
PLEASE DO NOT RUN, FLY, OR [apparate???] [...]
CORRIDORS [...]
Gnarlak
I think it just says 'Joker'.
Newt is wanted for Grade One infraction of the International Statute of Secrecy. Porpentina is up for [something] to a grade one etc - basically, aiding and abetting.
...WAND, MOST MENACING
... EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
[Caution] should be exercised as this witch is
[...] law breaker and will resist arrest.
[...] should be immobilised and apprehended at once.
[...] Aurors must be adviced immediately by owl.
So yeah, they're definitely arguing for American wizards to turn vigilante against criminals.
More interesting, what about that poster at the top? It's for someone 'DANGEROUS' whose name ends with '-mus'. Do we know any of those? HP experts?
Jacob
Yup, that's a bakery. And it's making me so hungry. :(
Mary Lou
Haha I love this poster.
She has an awesome banner of a wand being snapped.
She has a little dolly witch being burned at a little dolly stake.
She has a fantastically period pamphlet. The back cover quotes Jeremiah - "The eyes of the blind shall be opened" - and confirms (if we needed it?) that the Second Salemers are the same people as the New Salem Philanthropic Society.
She has an actual alphabet of sins on her wall. Gluttony, Hatred, Lies, Murder, Necromancy, ???Racism, Stealing, Terrorism, all show up there.
I'm honestly not sure what any of the things banned by this notice are. It looks fascinating.
Buried behind the title is this flyer, which is headed with the words 'Hear his Call'. The lowercase 'his' suggests it's not religious, so... who is 'he'? His call is to 'Join the New Salemers' Army' and 'Defy the [something]'.
Putting that aside - I don't think Mary Lou is evil, guys. What, because she thinks the people who can kill you with a thought and have their own independent (one might say 'secessionist') government buried in the heart of the US are bad news? She's right! She's also apparently anti-racist, which is incredibly for a '20s religious character. Until I get any evidence to the contrary, I'm on her side in all this.
More seriously (because obvs she's a villain, she has a fire theme and dislikes wizards, who are racially superior to everyone else and we should support them in everything), I'm seeing hints of childhood trauma in this poster. The doll and alphabet both point to childhood issues related to wizardry. Hmm... would she have been a kid at the time of the Sasquatch Rebellion?
All in all, I'm actually kinda excited for this film. Probably won't see it in the cinema, but when it's out on DVD... yup.
hS -
On the subject of Porpentina: by
on 2016-10-12 15:34:00 UTC
Link to this
The handwritten part on her ID beneath her name says "Federal Wand Permit Officer". Since wand permits are kind of a thing in the US and not over here, this leads me to wonder if she's some sort of border/customs official. Since we know she's going to end up with Newt by the end of the story, is this our in, so to speak, with MACUSA and President Piggles?
Additionally, I think the necklace is related to the sign used for Ilvermorny on the Pottermore website; if so, it suddenly makes a lot more sense. It's basically a subtle marker for any witch or wizard (likely more the former than the latter; men in 1920s America didn't wear jewellery beyond the occasional tie-pin) so that they can see who else went to Ilvermorny at a glance, a la the icthys in the early days of Christianity. -
Also, wrt the obscured sign on MLB's poster... by
on 2016-10-12 15:47:00 UTC
Link to this
I think it says:-
"NO SINGING
NO CUDDLING
NO SOILING
NO HORSEPLAY"
Which sounds to me like she's either a landlady with a very strict set of morals (which was common in the US in the 20s) or it's from an orphanage. Given hS's earlier remarks concerning her antipathy to magic perhaps having roots in childhood trauma, maybe she saw a witch/wizard kill her parents and was sent to an orphanage upstate or something. It would certainly account for the explicit religiosity of her message... -
I kind of love her poster even more now. by
on 2016-10-12 16:12:00 UTC
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I'm not convinced by your first two: it looks like the letter after the S is a P, and the letter after CU... also looks like a P, actually. Assuming the other two are right... give me a minute.
Hmm. Soiling/Horseplay in a similar font gives the right layout (with the O in the last NO about halfway under the N of the third). Then the second word, CUP-, needs to have about four more letters; CUDDLING is too long. CUPPING is obvious, but doesn't seem to mean anything relevant (I asked the OED). CUPIDITY actually fits very well, and means inappropriate covetousness or lust; an archaic word, but a good fit.
As for the top word... SP and five more letters gives over 200 results. Spouses could be banned, or spleens. We don't want any spewers here, or any spading... but ultimately, I think the only version I can advocate is this:NO SPORKS
NO CUPIDITY
NO SOILING
NO HORSEPLAY
hS -
Also, since you wanted one: by
on 2016-10-13 00:38:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a Niffler:-
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I've been staring at this for a few minutes... by
on 2016-10-13 00:29:00 UTC
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And I think we were both wrong about the first word, at least at first. It appears to be an P in a serif font, only part of it is obscured by shading and the doll on the stake. In which case, NO SPEAKING might be more appropriate.
An ironic thing to have in large capital letters, but there we are. =] -
The Sasquatch Rebellion was in 1892... by
on 2016-10-12 15:20:00 UTC
Link to this
And Mary Lou looks like she's in at least in her forties here. I'd say she was between 10 and 13 during the time the Rebellion happened, so your theory still holds! (Also, can I point out how Sasquatches look like the Wookies?)
As for the rest of your points:
Newt: Yes, I think that's either a protective mask (a'la Plague Doctors), or for newly hatched creatures to feel comfortable around you. There is a Fwooper confirmed to appear, so it may be it.
Tina: The Goldstein sisters are distant relatives to one Anthony Goldstein from Harry's era. And yes, there are Jewish wizards. Also, a MACUSA ID was a part of exhibition in Japan - HERE.
Queenie: Nope, I know nothing about neither her or Tina's necklaces. But the seven books of Chadwick's Charms are used as Ilvermorny textbooks, so I don't think the owl is a Hogwarts connection.
Piggles: Aside from Marvolo Gaunt's Cursed Ring, I don't recall any magical jewelry. Also, we've got a better shot at her wand.
Gnarlak: I was gonna suggest that's Alberto Macellarius, whose wanted poster was featured in the New York Ghost earlier, but I don't know. Ix, any suggestions? -
Interesting Thoughts! by
on 2016-10-11 23:41:00 UTC
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Very well done analysis my friend! It makes me even more excited to see the films once they come out!
Ditto on the Niffler by the way. XD -
Nice analysis! by
on 2016-10-11 23:27:00 UTC
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(Andddd yes agreed about the Niffler.)
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Paging eatpraylove and Storme Hawk by
on 2016-10-12 01:42:00 UTC
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Did either of you get my e-mail? Don't feel pressured to come up with a reply e-mail quickly; I just want to know if you got it.
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Sorry, not got your email. (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 16:24:00 UTC
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Perhaps I sent it to the wrong e-mail address by
on 2016-10-12 18:38:00 UTC
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Which one are you using, again? Please send me an e-mail.
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Stormehawk@gmail.com by
on 2016-10-12 18:43:00 UTC
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Because I still can't find/remember the password for the other one and I didn't set up any recovery options.
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E-mail sent! (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 18:47:00 UTC
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Got it by
on 2016-10-13 19:27:00 UTC
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Working on a reply.
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Yeah, sorry, been busy. Will reply ASAP. (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 15:25:00 UTC
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Happy Coming Out Day! by
on 2016-10-12 04:09:00 UTC
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I can't believe I almost forgot to post this on the actual day. So, er, belated Happy Coming Out Day?
It is now five years since I came out to my parents as bi, and three months since coming out as nonbinary. And I want to give a bit of a shoutout to them and to Aegis for being so very loving, supportive, and understanding of me. I want to extend that same hand to my fellow LGBTQ+ people who need that support; the short of it is that, no matter your sexual orientation or gender identity, please don't feel like you have to hide.
Here's a bit of information about the day. Let those pride flags fly! -
Happy One-Day Late Coming Out Day! (nm) by
on 2016-10-13 00:30:00 UTC
Link to this
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Re: Happy Coming Out Day! by
on 2016-10-12 22:38:00 UTC
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Congrats on coming out!
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Yay! *tosses rainbow-colored Spikes* by
on 2016-10-12 16:55:00 UTC
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I came out to my dad years ago during a conference trip. I'm proud to be bi, and always will! :)
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Is that supposed to be the trans flag or did you mess up? by
on 2016-10-12 18:28:00 UTC
Link to this
Anyway, to stay on topic even though it's a bit late: I'm asexual, panromantic, and (vaguely transfeminine but using they/them pronouns) nonbinary. I never came out to anyone IRL, but I got outed to my family a few months ago. They're not exactly supportive but it's not that bad.
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I spread the news around the school. by
on 2016-10-12 16:19:00 UTC
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I don't think anyone took me seriously, but it's nice to bring attention to the countries where this sort of thing is illegal.
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Shout-out to the asexuals/aromantics out there. by
on 2016-10-12 15:19:00 UTC
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'Cause I know there's at least one on the Board.
Before Phobos I was about ninety percent certain I was completely asexual myself. It was a fellow Boarder (one I don't think is around anymore) who pointed me to AVEN and helped me calm my worries that I was some sort of defective. I'm not, and you're not either. Everything is a bell curve. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Amen! by
on 2016-10-12 18:27:00 UTC
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Seconding that notion, as well. AVEN's cool. :>
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Glad days like these exist! by
on 2016-10-12 08:43:00 UTC
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I still didn't come out as bit, but... maybe one day.
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Huzzah! by
on 2016-10-12 06:36:00 UTC
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Happy Coming Out Day, indeed.
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*throws rainbow confetti* by
on 2016-10-12 06:10:00 UTC
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For what it's worth: *ahem* In case any of you forgot, I'm pansexual.
If anyone needs to talk to someone about any kind of gender or sexuality issues, my email is clickable and you can DM me on Discord. ANY KIND. Seriously. No matter how weird you think you are, I promise you I've already done a metric crap-ton of research on your specific issue and will be supportive.
--Key -
Magnificent! by
on 2016-10-12 05:15:00 UTC
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I'm very, very glad I could be there for Ix, and I'm even more glad Coming Out Day exists. I'm almost as glad as I am angry that human beings have made the necessary through their seemingly endless cruelty toward one another. But that's for another time.
For now, I'm happy to have a day to offer my wholehearted support and encouragement to the LBGTQ+ community- and especially to those who feel, as Ix said, that you have to hide.
I'd like you to know that even if everyone may not be bright enough to accept you for who you are, there are those of us who will.
Please, never let anyone make you ashamed of who you are.
And happy Coming Out Day! -
Awww yeah, nice! by
on 2016-10-12 04:25:00 UTC
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*flappy hands* Thanks for this, Ix!
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New mission! by
on 2016-10-12 18:32:00 UTC
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Ix and Charlotte get to deal with a replaced Harry Potter and... a loving Voldemort?
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Nitpicks by
on 2016-10-18 09:30:00 UTC
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“You might want to grab you brace for this.”
Should be "your"?
Voldemort went on to claim that Harry was now the only remaining horcrux, because in order to use the Stone to regain a body, he needed to reabsorb the others, and that he regained his sanity in the process.
This confused me very much, until I realized that Voldemort regaining his sanity had happened off page already even before he had arrived at the Dursleys’ and thus should be "had needed" and "had regained" (past perfect).
I love the flashback, but I’m not quite sure about the logistics there. This is set in the outskirts of a village in the countryside (woods behind the house), so Mr Rosenberger has a legal reason to possess a rifle or shotgun (to protect his chickens or such), but would he carry it when he visits the neighbors to share brandy and stories? So he ran home to get his firearm, but then arrived at the same time as Ix’s father? Well, finding the man who was trying to find his daughter may have been easier than finding the girl.
HG -
Fixed, thanks. by
on 2016-10-18 11:12:00 UTC
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Not sure why people think the "stick" was supposed to be a firearm, though; it's a wand.
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Oh, I forgot that Ix is Muggleborn. by
on 2016-10-18 15:18:00 UTC
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So this was the first time that she saw a wand. I got it now.
HG -
Re: New mission! by
on 2016-10-13 15:28:00 UTC
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During Ix' flashback, wouldn't she be able to identify a wand, or was it a gun?
Sounds like a very evil story. -
Looks like a rifle to me. by
on 2016-10-18 09:25:00 UTC
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The werewolf expected to bite a Muggle and actually didn’t realize that Ix is a witch when she told him that she isn’t Caitlyn, so Mr Rosenberger must be a Muggle neighbor and can’t carry a wand. Since carrying weapons is quite restricted in Britain and little witches don’t watch Muggle TV, it’s plausible that Ix had never seen a firearm.
HG -
Hair of Slytherin: Big Review by
on 2016-10-12 21:33:00 UTC
Link to this
All right, I promised myself to take reviewing missions more seriously (one of the reasons being I actually want to get good at both writing and helping out), so this is my first shot at an actual, (maybe) helpful, con-crit review:
We started with a nightmare flashback, which showed us the origin story of Ix-Wolf. Now, just from the first paragraph of description I could tell it’s Greyback that bit her. Sounds exactly like the scenario he would choose. I have to commend you on setting up the atmosphere, too. The portrayal of Greyback as cannibalistic and sexually creepy, and his preference for children was shown nicely. However, the scene reminds me of Lupin’s “origin”: Greyback biting him as a revenge for what Lupin’s dad said about werewolves. The changes here were Greyback making a mistake (He probably did bit Caitlyn next month, I assume), and apparently somebody contracting him to do so… Which I don’t know if he would, but that’s just my musings. Also, there is Greyback’s uncertain fate after 1998 (Neville and Ron “brought him down” which could imply anything from imprisonment to slaying), but I’m gonna let it slide.
Lottie being the overly protective Sparklepire girlfriend was really cute, and I approve of it with all my might. And as I said before… Saibhir was a pretty clever reference. I do hate you for the Hair of Slytherin, though, because that’s the worst pun in the history (:P).
(Sidenote: I will kill the author for disrespecting The Merchant of Venice…)
As for the mission itself, it was easy to follow and clear. I like the house-elves disguise; first time seeing it being used, and I think those should be implemented more often. I like how they were forced to do the house-elf speech. You could’ve leave it the second time, though. Felt like something that would come as a price for the disguise (Good Lord, I hope I would never have to disguise as a Gungan). The charges list was quick and simple, and the execution was efficient. It was a good mission. -
I would read a fanfic about Ix's life. by
on 2016-10-12 20:38:00 UTC
Link to this
(Hi, I'm trying to review more!)
I think the flashback was my favorite part of this story. The mission was good, too, but there was such atmosphere and emotion in the flashback, I really got into it. There are limits to how much of that you can do while also sporking badfic.
I honestly don't have anything much to critique. I'd like to tell Charlotte to back off a little, but that's just her character, I think. I can tell she means well and really wants Ix to be happy, but every now and then she goes just a tad further with kissing and whatnot than my introverted self finds to be charming. She still has a thing or two to learn about her partner, I think. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Urk, sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. by
on 2016-10-12 20:46:00 UTC
Link to this
I'll try to tone it down in the future. Guess it's my fault for not knowing how to do fluff properly. :(
-
It's not like I'm taking it personally. {= ) by
on 2016-10-12 21:03:00 UTC
Link to this
I think what bugs me is that Ix doesn't seem really into it; she blushes and gets flustered and seems kind of uncomfortable herself, like she's just tolerating it because she doesn't know what to do about it. It's not clear—in this story, anyway—if she really wants that kind of attention.
So, uh, I guess that's a critique after all. ^_^;
~Neshomeh -
My fault for not making it more clear, then. by
on 2016-10-12 21:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I was trying to show she was pleased by the attention but also unused to it and unsure how she was supposed to respond. So... maybe any suggestions how that could be improved?
-
Let's see... by
on 2016-10-14 20:14:00 UTC
Link to this
Basically, just put in more positive reactions to Charlotte's attention. I realize a lot of it is because of the nightmare, but this story has a lot of negative or at best neutral ones, and only one that I can construe as good. Just for the sake of comparison, I'll sort them into categories:
Negative- “I’m not going to eat you,” Charlotte said, reaching out to give Ix a hug, but pulling back when she flinched.
- Charlotte put a hand under Ix’s chin. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Ix said, a little more sharply than she meant to. She brushed Charlotte’s hand away and opened a portal. - “You’d know,” Charlotte said teasingly, poking Ix in the side. “I swear, you’re just skin and bones.”
Ix was not amused. “My parents lost a lot of money trying to pay for my medical bills after every monthly transformation. There were a lot of nights we’d all go to bed hungry.”
Charlotte swallowed. “Sorry, I… I didn’t realize.”
Ix just looked away. - Charlotte gasped. “You wound me, Ix! You wound me deeply!”
“Sorry,” Ix mumbled, looking away.
Charlotte frowned. “Hey, I’m just joking,” she said. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“Sorry,” Ix said again, hunching her shoulders.
Charlotte put a hand on Ix’s cheek. “Hey. Look at me.” When Ix did, she said, “You’re fine, you know that? I like bantering with you. It’s fun. Don’t apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“So—” - “But hon, don’t sell yourself short. Look at you, you were on the path to become the first werewolf Auror! That’s gotta take guts!”
“It was mostly cowardice,” Ix mumbled, looking away. [Etc.] - “Well, it’s hardy your fault if you smell good enough to eat,” Charlotte said, then winced. “Sorry, that was in bad taste, wasn’t it?”
“Just a bit,” Ix said with a shudder, realizing she’d reached up to rub her ear as she spoke.
“Sorry,” Charlotte repeated. She took Ix’s hand and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “You know I won’t ever eat you, right?”
“Truly, you know how to charm a girl,” Ix said dryly. Still she pulled her hand away. - Charlotte elbowed her, cringing when Ix jumped at the touch.
Neutral- “If you need anything, I’ll be in the other room,” Charlotte said, putting a hand on Ix’s shoulder. When Ix still didn’t react, she sighed and got up.
- Despite this, Charlotte still somehow found a way to drape an arm over Ix’s shoulders. [No reaction from Ix is described, positive or negative.]
- ... leaving Charlotte holding her partner when she lost her balance and fell over. Ix felt her face redden when she looked up at Charlotte, who was grinning at her.
“Walk much?” Charlotte said, helping Ix back on her feet and kissing her lightly on the nose.
Ix just blushed and straightened her robes, too flustered to respond. [She could be pleased, or just embarrassed. It's unclear. But since she's sensitive about her appearance and condition, I'd lean toward embarrassed.] - Charlotte looked like she could have kissed her. “Ix, you’re a genius!”
Ix blushed. “Not really, but thank you.” [As above, she could be pleased, but her behavior so far makes me think she's embarrassed and just being polite.] - Hesitantly, she [got on Charlotte's back], and involuntarily let out a scream of exhilaration as Charlotte took off ... [Etc. The scream of exhilaration is involuntary; no telling whether she actually enjoys this ride or not, or whether she got on board because she really wanted to or because she felt she couldn't turn it down.]
Positive- “If you say sorry one more time, I’m kissing you to make you stop,” Charlotte said, mock-threateningly.
“Good luck doing it with that nose,” Ix said, tapping her own long, pointed nose. [This only barely edges into the positive category for being the one time Ix actually engages with Charlotte's affection instead of freezing or actively rejecting it. It could still be Ix trying to avoid and divert, though; I'm being generous because Charlotte seems to take it as genuine humor.]
So you see, the balance is wildly off.
Some of the neutral reactions could be made positive by the addition of a smile, a fluttering heartbeat, a warm feeling in her stomach, or just describing her thoughts if it's not out of place in the scene. Even the negative ones could be mitigated by a line here and there explaining that Ix knows Charlotte is trying to help and she appreciates it, she's just not in a place to accept it just then because the memory of the assault is too fresh, or whatever her feelings are. (And of course, telling Charlotte her feelings instead of leaving her in the dark would be a good idea if they're going to be a supportive couple, too.)
So, that's my two cents. I hope it helps. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Wow, that was as bad as you said. by
on 2016-10-12 20:13:00 UTC
Link to this
And the basilic made indeed for the perfect kill here. The relationship between Charlotte and Ix is always sweet to see, without being overbearing.
Now, for the flashback/nightmare about Ix's past... Am I the only feeling the urge to hit her 'friend' in the belly, with a spiked bat? -
I liked it. by
on 2016-10-12 19:57:00 UTC
Link to this
I love these characters, and where you're taking them. Seeing more background for Ix was interesting, and this story did an excellent job of showing that her character has quite a bit of depth- getting a story focused on her was nice, as often as Charlotte tends to steal the show.
The slightly more serious tone of the story fits its focus, and nicely counterbalances the insidiously saccharine feel of the fic you sporked.
And while I won't get detailed here, it made me very curious about the events that were hinted at in the opening, all those years ago.
Looking forward to more from these guys. -
I liked this one. by
on 2016-10-12 19:46:00 UTC
Link to this
We got some more insight in Ix (and the poor girl surely had it hard), and the badfics was... really, really idiotic. Good work on the takedown, I really like the use of the Basilisk.
Now, a little nitpick:
"After Ix revived Snape and wiped his memory and they dug Harry and Voldemort out of their respective plotholes,"
Hm, I think there is a bit of a run-on here? -
Oops, thanks! (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 19:59:00 UTC
Link to this
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Could Voldemort even canonly love a son? by
on 2016-10-12 19:04:00 UTC
Link to this
He was born of a love potion correct? Isn't it canon for those born under the affects of one to have zero clue when it comes to love of any kind?
I mean it's uncanon for him to show love to anyone considering he didn't even want friends,but it might be even more canon breaking if it's something that's not even possible in canon even if he wasn't the dark lord? -
Yup, pretty sure it is. by
on 2016-10-12 19:05:00 UTC
Link to this
... Which, now that I think about it, has really Unfortunate Implications, but I definitely remember that being a canon thing.
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Unfortunate could be an understatement by
on 2016-10-12 19:15:00 UTC
Link to this
I haven't seen the movies in a while but I remember the lines about the love potion so much because of just how jarring the idea was to me at the time. A love potion that forced love onto another human being resulting in a human being that literally will never feel love for anyone no matter what level of relationship.
With that in mind really the best I could see for Tom if he didn't turn into the Dark Lord would be a life alone focused completely on surviving and his own comfort.
-
It's that time again - Cards Against HQ! by
on 2016-10-12 21:57:00 UTC
Link to this
Ladies and Bruces, feel free to join us on game and our Discord voice chat!
Here's the link!
https://pyx-2.pretendyoure.xyz/zy/game.jsp#game=116
Passwords is "PPCGAME" all caps, no spaces, and no quotes! -
Silly question, but, how do I join this Discord chat? by
on 2016-10-12 22:12:00 UTC
Link to this
I registered an account, but have no idea how this works. I think I need an invite? I'm not sure.
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Yeah, you do need an invitation. Gotta poke Des about it. (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 22:15:00 UTC
Link to this
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*Des, Ix, Cat-on-the-Keyboard or PC (nm) by
on 2016-10-12 22:30:00 UTC
Link to this
- Try this link. by on 2016-10-12 22:17:00 UTC Link to this
-
Intelligence report. by
on 2016-10-13 15:30:00 UTC
Link to this
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N2H6rRhmn1gxTOfooQnQBYapCHteZ5cgouzeUk3TJnw/edit?usp=sharing
Also, would anyone like to do a cowrite with me? It doesn't have to be this story. -
Er, Bram. by
on 2016-10-14 11:56:00 UTC
Link to this
This isn't an intelligence report.
Intelligence reports are written by, and from the perspective of PPC spies. Who work in the Department of Intelligence. Which is the entire idea of the department.
This, as far as I can figure, is not. It is, rather, you simply filling the form out with your own thoughts.
There's nothing wrong, of course, with pointing us towards a poorly written fic and giving a few thoughts on it, but you have presented it in the form of an intelligence report, and it must be as such judged on the grounds of an intelligence report.
And on the grounds of an intelligence report, it really isn't very good, containing no actual story or character, or much of anything.
You got to research this stuff more, mate. Look at examples. Check the wiki. -
I feel compelled to point out... by
on 2016-10-14 12:11:00 UTC
Link to this
... that I've previously asked people to submit badfic recommendations in this format (well, I tweaked it slightly) for my Driftwood missions. It's not a bad way of presenting a badfic - certainly better than 'I found this fic AND IT MAKES ME MAD' with no further details.
I don't wish to make any comment on the actual content of the document.
hS -
Ah, bugger. by
on 2016-10-14 12:17:00 UTC
Link to this
I mean, it recommended badfic and it showed that it was bad. Fair enough.
Nevermind! -
Well. by
on 2016-10-13 21:16:00 UTC
Link to this
I wouldn't mind co-writing with you because of a variety of reasons, but shouldn't you first read the concrit that's been given for your previous things and at least acknowledge its existence?
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acknowledged (nm) by
on 2016-10-15 16:24:00 UTC
Link to this
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Bram, listen. by
on 2016-10-13 18:28:00 UTC
Link to this
Your last two stories, you were given concrit which you either ignored or didn't see. I suggest you address the issues brought up next time you write something.
As for this story in particular.... I think I'll let someone else handle the issues with it, since I don't trust myself to remain impartial.
-
Permission Request! by
on 2016-10-14 01:28:00 UTC
Link to this
Having been chatting on Discord, and occasionally throwing in my two cents on the Board from these comfortable seats in the peanut gallery, I've decided that comfortable seats aren't really my style.
This being the case, I'd like to take a step forward, and write about my own little corner(s) of PPC HQ.
I'd ramble on a bit further, but I think I ought to let the prompts speak for themselves.
As such, please allow me to introduce my prospective agents, the Detective and Jack Riggs.
And, in their first prompt, very in character for the man concerned, One Agent Steals Something from Another.
Followed after some unspecified amount of time by the Agents Receiving a Mission.
So please- read, and even enjoy if you like. Thanks. -
Permission Hat on. by
on 2016-10-14 04:18:00 UTC
Link to this
(CONTAINS VAGUE SPOILERS FOR DOCTOR WHO)
The Agents
I have some concerns here regarding both characters. First off, and perhaps most notable, is the Detective. Describing one of your protagonists as 'an irredeemable jerk' is something of an issue. 'Irredeemable' means that there is nothing about this individual of merit, nothing that makes them a likable person. What's more, it means they never will gain any sort of positive trait. So why follow them? Even villainous protagonists typically have something that endears them to the audience, such as intelligence, honor, charisma, etc. Jerks… aren't really interesting. Well, unless they get comeuppance, which seems to be something that occurs in at least one of your prompts. But as it stands, the prompt just makes him seem like someone who would be unlikeable and get away with it.
My concern with Jack Riggs is less to do with with characterization—stout, stalwart characters are nice to see and have a lot of potentiality, and having him be unconvinced he isn't still in an illusion is something that could have a lot of play story-wise—and more to do with a canonical issue. You say he joined the PPC at age 19, and is now somewhere in his 30s. The issue there is that Supernatural first aired in Sept. 2005. That means, at oldest, he could be exactly 30. Having him be any older that would make him predate his own universe of origin. This is an easy thing to fix, though.
I... also must confess as to not being all that excited to see a new Time Lord agent. Or a new pair of Floater agents.
The Prompts
Regarding the first prompt, I admit to starting out very confused. Why was DoSAT after Jack's heirloom journal? I don't ever recall DoSAT seizing the personal possessions of agents before. Sure, it makes more sense that they would be concerned about a TARDIS, but that just made me ask: why don't they use the TARDIS as a response center? I'm also confused as to when this is taking place canonically. I was under the impression that Gallifrey was back (sorta, kinda). So… why is the Detective doing all this, then? Is this taking place in the past? Does he not know?
All that said, the first prompt is otherwise fairly sound. The characters banter well and the prompt is integrated well. It's a good piece, despite the questions that nagged at me.
The mission received story is also very solid, but lacking in some areas. Some of your sentences tend to drag on to such an extent that they become awkward to read. The first sentence of the second paragraph, for example, as well as the eighth paragraph in its entirety. You use commas when you really don't need to.
Some continuity errors: the Detective corrected himself, saying he was late by five hours, then said he walked in an hour after the Marquis de Sod told him. Should it be five hours? Also, the Marquis de Sod has nothing to do with assigning missions. If these are Floaters, then it should be the Floating Hyacinth whom he annoyed. Sure, the Marquis could have pulled in a favor, but that doesn't explain why Jack immediately thought of him instead of his own boss.
SPaG note:
—Missing quotation mark on the second page of the first prompt, (Before 'Considering.')
The Badfic
Wow, that looks like a mess of a crossover. And Harry Potter is apparently a god? Yep, I'd say this qualifies.
You, as a Member of the Community
No problems here. You participate on the Board, you're a regular in chat, and you play a mean game of Cards Against Humanity. You can work with others without issue. I have no concerns as to how well you would fit in.
Verdict
I'm going to have to say Permission Denied… but barely. Your writing is good, but there a few issues here and there that got underneath my skin. My biggest concern is with your characters. I feel like you should spend a little bit more time tightening them up.
It was a very close decision on my part. And I'm pretty darn confident that you'll nail it next time. But for right now? You should take another look.
PC -
Thanks very much for taking a look. by
on 2016-10-14 05:38:00 UTC
Link to this
While I'm saddened to hear my interest in jerkish characters isn't universal, I appreciate your saying so. That goes for the rest, as well.
I'll be sure and work on clarifying the language, tightening up the character design, streamlining the comma usage, and making things more readable overall.
As to the SPaG note- Jack is actually just considering, then replying that if he doesn't move his TARDIS, it will become one. He doesn't actually say 'considering.' I mean, that'd just be too explicit, wouldn't it?
I also meant to imply that Jack was filling out forms to get the Detective to keep the TARDIS, and was ragging mentally on the Detective for being obsessed with material possessions. I then meant to suggest that he was a hypocrit, as attached as he was to his own- specifically, the journal.
Any ideas on how I could get that across better?
I realize clarity and concision take practice above all else, but any tips and tricks would be appreciated. -
Here we go! by
on 2016-10-14 02:01:00 UTC
Link to this
Everything's looking good on my end, so much so that I'd give you the green light if I had that ability.
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My planned first badfic: by
on 2016-10-14 01:48:00 UTC
Link to this
The inestimable " Broken Universe." Inestimable, if only because I refuse to estimate that low.
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WAIT A MINUTE! by
on 2016-10-14 01:35:00 UTC
Link to this
For some unknowable reason, Ix would like to be associated with this, so thanks to both you and the brilliant Matt Cipher- who's getting dragged in now whether he likes it or not- for doing me the inestimable favor of looking over these before I posted. I owe you guys one.
Thanks a million. -
Good luck! (nm) by
on 2016-10-14 01:29:00 UTC
Link to this
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Random Potterverse question: How much does a Galleon weigh? by
on 2016-10-14 20:28:00 UTC
Link to this
And then, more to the point, how much would one thousand Galleons weigh? I need to know because a character in a fic I'm sporking drops a bag of 1,000 Galleons on Cornelius Fudge's desk. Naturally, my agents are inclined to steal it, and I'm wondering if they could even lift it unassisted.
~Neshomeh -
First approximation: by
on 2016-10-14 20:38:00 UTC
Link to this
A gold sovereign weighs around 8g. That means the bag would weigh 8kg, roughly 17 1/2 pounds. That's easily liftable - imagine picking up two cats (and then laugh at the mental image, because srsly) - but not something you want to wander around with.
Unless, of course, you have a magic weight-reducing bag. Doesn't Hermione cart one of those around?
I don't know how much a Galleon actually weighs, though - hence the approximation. A sovereign is an inch across; if it's twice that size, then you're talking four times the mass, and suddenly we're carting around 70 lb in one hand, which is apparently illegal if you're under 16. Also it's the weight of a medium-sized child.
So still doable.
hS -
I knew I could count on you. {= ) by
on 2016-10-14 21:52:00 UTC
Link to this
I must be imagining that gold is heavier than it is. I know it's heavier than it looks, but I have no notion of what that actually means in terms of the physics/math involved.
Apparently there was a bag of 1,000 Galleons mentioned in canon, which I had forgotten about: the Triwizard Cup Prize. And it seems Harry tosses it onto his bedside table without serious incident at some point, so it can't be too heavy.
This essay reckons a Galleon has a diameter of 19 millimetres (3/4 inch) and a thickness of 0.5 millimetres, with a mass of 1.98 grams. What do you think of their reasoning?
~Neshomeh has no head for numbers. -
Yeah, but that was a prize. by
on 2016-10-14 21:56:00 UTC
Link to this
If it was me, I'd cast a lightening charm on the bag, just in case you're handing it out to, say, some skinny little herbert half-dead from going through a wizarding tournament and a fight with a demented terrorist. =]
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PPC Filk Song! by
on 2016-10-15 04:06:00 UTC
Link to this
When I was listening to Smash Mouth earlier today, I got a sudden flash of inspiration from a certain line, and... this was the result.
oh god please don't laugh at my shrill voice or awkward lyrics -
I love how the PPC is developing a voice by
on 2016-10-16 05:10:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm really excited by the recent trend of reading things out loud, singing, and all that. I like voice acting, hearing actual laughter, singing. . . It feels even more alive.
--Key is making plans to record all her missions in podcast form -
Actually, has that been done before? by
on 2016-10-16 06:21:00 UTC
Link to this
You know, missions in other media from text?
Podcasts or videos or interpretive dance, or whatever?
I mean, I know there was that one comic from a while back. And a videogame, or something. -
All of this has happened before, and it will happen again. by
on 2016-10-16 18:25:00 UTC
Link to this
Dramatic readings over Skype were a thing around 2008.
Also, there are the PPC Playscriptes, which were recorded as radio plays.
Plus, we tried to make an animated version of the 2008 Sue Invasion, but though I think all the voice parts came in, it stalled out at the animation part.
~Neshomeh -
I just love being able to talk to people. by
on 2016-10-16 05:33:00 UTC
Link to this
I have very, very few friends IRL due to a combination of crippling shyness and losing a bunch of friends recently, so being able to talk to people on the internet in more ways than just text is doing wonders for my social life. :P
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That was brililant! by
on 2016-10-16 02:19:00 UTC
Link to this
I love a good filk! And you have a really nice singing voice!
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LOVE IT! by
on 2016-10-15 19:37:00 UTC
Link to this
The song is hilarious! You have a very lovely voice Iximaz. :3
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Already bookmarked this. by
on 2016-10-15 18:42:00 UTC
Link to this
And frankly, your voice is more thant adequate compared to oter people could listen on the Web. And, well detourning lyrics like this is already something we do on the Christmas period, you're just the first I know singing the result for the Internet.
Ready to bet my voice would sound far worst... -
Hm... might have to record a Christmas filk or two... (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 05:33:00 UTC
Link to this
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Nice! by
on 2016-10-15 18:03:00 UTC
Link to this
Entertaining lyrics? Check.
On pitch? Check.
On rhythm? Check.
I like it! Could only be improved by more confidence. {= )
~Neshomeh -
Your voice is lovely! by
on 2016-10-15 10:40:00 UTC
Link to this
And the lyrics were great. :D
Also, this reminded me of PPC: the Musical, which is still one of my favorite stories for some reason. Specifically, the second song of the first chapter. But I like yours just as much! -
Re: PPC Filk Song! by
on 2016-10-15 10:09:00 UTC
Link to this
Insta-subscribed. And your voice is actually really good. You should check out my channel, I sing a little too.
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New poster by
on 2016-10-15 04:49:00 UTC
Link to this
Hi. I'm really bad at introductions and don't quite know what I'm supposed to write here, but I'll do my best. I've just stumbled upon the PPC and think it would be a great way to improve my fiction writing and roleplaying skills. My girlfriend is a much better writer and roleplayer than I am, and I'm frankly insulted by how amazing she is. So that's the primary reason. The second is because I like the concept-- I've come across some horrible fanfiction in my time, and I'm honestly surprised that some of it hasn't been sporked by someone already. Anyway, I found this community via TV Tropes. My main fandoms are the Doctor Who universe, Firefly/Serenity, and Animorphs. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all.
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Subbing for Voyd. Welcome to Creation. by
on 2016-10-17 11:47:00 UTC
Link to this
/OAKDOWN GAINS 1X LASER SHOVEL./
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Re: Subbing for Voyd. Welcome to Creation. by
on 2016-10-18 09:32:00 UTC
Link to this
Thank you for the laser shovel
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Welcome, welcome! by
on 2016-10-16 02:37:00 UTC
Link to this
Grab a seat by the fire, make yourself comfortable. We don't stand on ceremony here. Might be a good idea to leave your sanity on the rack by the door, though. You never know what might happen to it around here.
For your newbie gifts I present a Replica Holocron and a Time Vortex in a bottle. It's very pretty, just don't look at it straight on. You might see something madness inducing.
And finally, who's your favorite Doctor? I'm guessing... Ten. Am I right? -
Re: Welcome, welcome! by
on 2016-10-16 02:54:00 UTC
Link to this
Actually, Seven and Twelve are my favorite Doctors (Ten was good, and David Tennant is a great actor, though his Doctor was a bit too human for my taste. In my opinion, a great portrayal of the Doctor is one that reminds the viewer that even though he may prefer the company of humanity, he's still a Time Lord.) And don't worry, I've already looked into the Untempered Schism. I was inspired, though a bit traumatized, in case you were wondering. Thanks anyway though!
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Blast, off by three. by
on 2016-10-16 07:31:00 UTC
Link to this
Or two, depending which way you look at it. Ah, well. All I really had to go off of was that you're a sci-fi fan, so I picked the Doctor I remembered having the best technobabble.
Better luck next time, I suppose.
And as for the Untempered Schism... Yeah, I'll pass, thanks. Glad to hear you got out alright, but I don't much fancy my chances with universal epiphanies. Not after my last one. Ugh. -
Welcome, Dear Newbie! by
on 2016-10-15 19:55:00 UTC
Link to this
For your newbie gift, take this flamethrower. You may need it if you ever become an Agent one day, and if you don't become an Agent it's cool to look at anyways. It has several different settings, ranging from "toast my bread" to fire power so high that the mightiest campfire would quake in its presence. Use it wisely.
Welcome to this crazy corner of the internet known as the PPC! Enjoy your stay! -
Welcome aBoard! by
on 2016-10-15 16:14:00 UTC
Link to this
Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!
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Hail, newbie! by
on 2016-10-15 15:44:00 UTC
Link to this
Firstly, welcome. Very nice to have you.
Secondly, allow me to tell you that you have excellent taste in fandoms. Doctor Who is, of course, universally superior to pretty much everything, but Firefly's gorram shiny as well. I'd recommend Farscape based on those fandoms, but then I'd be off on a fandom tangent, and this is neither the time nor the place.
I'd offer you something, but, frankly, I'm dedicating code viewable by the whole of the internet-connected human populace to you personally, so you've already got a planetary memorial. Several, actually, counting everyone else's. I imagine you're virtually glowing with gratitude already (puns!), and anything else would just make you feel guilty.
I joined the PPC for almost identical reasons, and this is definitely an excellent spot for improving those skills. So, here's to hoping you stick around! -
Hello! by
on 2016-10-15 12:26:00 UTC
Link to this
Have this Weighted Companion Cube! The Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the PPC. Please take care of it.
Since noone else has asked you this yet: What are your preferred pronouns? -
Re: Hello! by
on 2016-10-15 16:03:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks! Question, though, will I have to incinerate this later? Cos I'd rather not go through that. *pets the companion cube*
She/her and they/them are both shiny, by the way, you can use either for me. -
'ello, mate. by
on 2016-10-15 11:19:00 UTC
Link to this
Please have a new poster and this best hamster as welcome gifts.
-
Oh hey! by
on 2016-10-15 10:02:00 UTC
Link to this
My first thought was... 'hey i'm in those fandoms too'... and then I looked . You got me into Firefly. Hey there! :D Here, have a flamingo in a teacup!
-
HELLO FRIEND by
on 2016-10-15 10:07:00 UTC
Link to this
You are the last person I expected to see here, but hey! Glad to see you, getting into these things is always a bit easier when you actually know someone.
-
Insulted by your lover, eh? by
on 2016-10-15 07:39:00 UTC
Link to this
Well, you've found the right place, mate.
The PPC community is practically powered by insulted lovers. We grind them up and put them in the engines, and that keeps us chugging along for weeks!
Chugging along like one of those old steam trains! But the bloke by the engine is shovelling grinded lovers, rather than coal.
My gift upon you is: a smile. So we can get that Oakdown and make it an Oakup!
And if you're interested in improving your writing, as I am, you ought to see PoorCynic's workshops. A bunch of article thingos on characterisation and speech and whatnot. Though it focusses on PPC stuff, a lot of it can be applied to writing and roleplaying in general. Useful stuff, it is.
Welcome! Please, follow me. The fuel-grinder is just down this hall... -
Hello newbie. by
on 2016-10-15 05:59:00 UTC
Link to this
Please have a pot of black-hole coffee. Now, Seems like Ix asked all the important questions, so only thing left is wishing you welcome and a good and long stay here in the madhouse.
-
Hello! by
on 2016-10-15 04:58:00 UTC
Link to this
A newbie! Yay! Here, have this Royal Ice Cream Container! Close lid, say flavor, open lid, voila, ice cream! Oh, slight problem with this one, though. If you have a song playing in the background, music notes will start flying everywhere when you open it, so be careful!
-
Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by
on 2016-10-15 04:53:00 UTC
Link to this
Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!
If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking. We like it when newbies do the research. ;)
Looks like we share the same fandoms! Hope you decide to stick around, you seem like you're pretty cool. -
Re: Newbie! *glomp* *poke* by
on 2016-10-15 10:06:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks for the helpful links! I'm definitely planning on reading through the Original Series this weekend. The only issue that I have though is that a lot of them seem to be Tolkien-based. I'm more of a science fiction person, myself, and therefore know basically nothing about LOTR except for the fact that there are hobbits and elves involved and someone throws a ring into a volcano. Will the original series be understandable with my (very) limited knowledge of the source material? Or should I at least watch the movies first?
-
As someone who didn't know Tolkien before reading TOS by
on 2016-10-15 22:58:00 UTC
Link to this
You'll be fine. It's all well-explained and well-described -- very enjoyable stuff. The descriptions plus the agents' obvious love of the source material are actually what induced me to start reading LOTR.
Anyway, welcome! My gift to you is six crows. Don't try to keep them in a cage; they'll find a way out. They're not pets, but you might be able to befriend them.
--Key -
If you don't mind spoilers, you'll be fine. by
on 2016-10-15 14:14:00 UTC
Link to this
They explain in-universe all the various reasons the Sues don't belong there or screwed up the plot anyway.
Also, welcome! Here's a bag of gummy bears and a legal pad!
-
Cameo Calls Star Wars/Star Trek Crossover by
on 2016-10-15 20:10:00 UTC
Link to this
So I have been playing around with an idea for a few weeks, and I finally decided I am going to start working on it. As the subject indicates this is going to be a Star Wars/Star Trek Crossover.
We have a Imperial-I Class Star Destroyer from basically right before the Battle of Endor winding up in basically in the STO Mainstream Timeline. It will encounter basically an Expy of the Enterprise-D. What I want to do is really give life to both ships, so instead of just randomly creating names, I figured I would ask if anyone has any of the following they would like to make an appearance.
1. Agents from either Universe
2. Star Trek Online Captains/Bridge Officers
3. Old Republic Characters
4. Any other character that fits within either Universe
If anyone is interested feel free to post a name, rank, species, and maybe a brief description. Because even if they will be a cameo, I want to make sure I get the essence right.
If anyone does want to submit a character, I have a few restrictions.
1. No Force Users. Force users at this time in the Star Wars Universe are very rare, and I already have a concentration that pushes reasonable belief.
2. No Borg. There are very few Federation Aligned Borg, and I'm already using my STO Liberated Borg Bridge Officer.
3. No Klingons. This is set a time where the Federation and Klingon Empire at war, and the Klingons will be one of the enemies that will be encountered in the course of the story.
4. No Rank above Lieutenant. I already have top ranked officers set.
Roles I am specifically looking for if anyone wants to suggest anything:
1. 11 Black Squadron TIE Pilots.
2. 6 Gamma Squadron TIE Bomber Pilots.
3. 9 Obsidian Squadron TIE Pilots.
4. 6 Sigma Squadron TIE Interceptor Pilots.
5. 6 Avenger Squadron TIE Interceptor Pilots.
6. 2 Omega Squadron TIE Defender Pilots.
7. 3 Onyx Squadron TIE Defender Pilots.
8. 2 Lambda Class Shuttle Pilots.
9. Assorted Bridge Techs, TIE Mechanics, Medical Staff, Stormtroopers.
On the Federation Side
1. 1 Transporter Chief
2. 3 Nurses
3. 1 Bartender
4. 5 Security Redshirts.
5. 1 Conn Officer
6. 1 Ship's Counselor
7. 2 Engineers
8. 1 Communications Officer
9. Assorted other Techs
-
I've got one. by
on 2016-10-15 21:32:00 UTC
Link to this
Castor Parwill for Ship's Counselor, if you'll have them. Heck, since I haven't bothered coming up with a backstory for them, this could even be it. Pertinent details are on the wiki article. Most importantly, they are agendered, so no gendered pronouns for Parwill, please. {= )
~Neshomeh
-
RP: The Haunted Medical. by
on 2016-10-16 01:22:00 UTC
Link to this
Semi-Canon - Canon unless contradicted.
The following comes from automated security reports from the Department of Internal Affairs.
10/30/2016, 23:59:59 HST:
Medical Department has Blacked Out.
10/31/2016, 00:00:00 HST:
Medical Department has gone missing.
10/31/2016, 00:01:21 HST:
Special Response Division contacted, sortied.
Department of External Security put on standby.
10/31/2016, 00:05:42 HST:
Agent [REDACTED], DIA: SR formally confirms the loss of Medical Department.
Agent also confirms presence of Plot Hole in it's place.
10/31/2016, 00:06:12 HST:
Response Center Under his workbench, Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology contacted, Agent Makes-Things responds, en route to former location of Medical.
10/31/2016, 01:42:11 HST:
Agent Makes-Things arrives.
10/31/2016, 5:27:37 HST:
Agent Makes-Things confirms location of Medical Department within Plot Hole.
Agent confirms Department cannot be immediately be retrieved.
Department can be immediately contacted.
Agent expects to be able to retrieve Department by 11/01/2016, 00:00:00 HST, 24 hrs after initial loss.
10/31/2016, 6:00:00 HST:
Retrieval equipment arrives.
Communication equipment arrives.
Communication established.
Plot Hole interference does not allow 2-way communication. The following message is broadcast over all possible frequencies, including PA: Stay calm. Expect rescue within 18 hours. Happy Halloween.
Halloween Playlist broadcast over PA.
First song: Spooky Scary Skeletons.
ETA declared at intervals of 30 minutes.
***
The power has gone out in Medical. The red emergency lights being the only thing to light your way. You are trapped in a seemingly endless maze. You (and your partner, if your writer wants) have yet to encounter another agent, and everything you do encounter are extremely fitting for the date. In fact, you might say you're in a horror movie.
***
This is will be something along the lines of a Horror RP. Instead of interacting with fellow agents, agents interact with whatever the cruel and frankly horrifying things you boarders come up with.
Like so:
Mattman: Agent Matthew looks horrified, slowly moving through the corridors
Matt Cipher: Matthew encounters Bill Cipher.
Mattman: Matthew runs into a room, further horrified.
Iximaz: And then he encounters his own dead body, guts spilling out of his opened stomach.
Mattman: The still alive Matthew let's lose his midnight snack.
Scapegrace: The hurl becomes an eldritch abomination of a Flareon.
Mattman: Matthew's conflicted emotions of 'Cute' and 'What is This I can't comprehend' causes him to flee the room.
And so on and so forth. -
Tiny question for the Pumpkin King. by
on 2016-10-18 19:29:00 UTC
Link to this
Just realized this is a canonical RP, and I therefore don't have permission to participate in it.
Could I participate under canonical quarantine, so I don't affect anything critical, pending Permission?
Or should I just duck out on this one? -
Never mind- question's answered below. Thanks! (nm) by
on 2016-10-18 19:31:00 UTC
Link to this
- She's up everyone! by on 2016-10-16 16:33:00 UTC Link to this
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Sure, why not. by
on 2016-10-16 15:39:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm offering up the Aviator and Zeb as sacrifices. I mean, volunteers.
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Mine are in by
on 2016-10-16 05:48:00 UTC
Link to this
T'Kat: Vulcan social-justice activist, now retired. Bitter, but cares despite herself. In a restrained, tempered Vulcan way, of course.
Kebrdo: Basically a chair with feathers. Excitable, anxious, fond of puns.
Do your worst to them.
--Key has no Permission, so this obviously will not be canon. -
I'm staying out of this one, thanks. by
on 2016-10-16 04:17:00 UTC
Link to this
Cool idea, though. Let me know if there's a "regular" Halloween party RP and I'll be all over that.
-
Spoooooooky! by
on 2016-10-16 02:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Maz and Yocherry, post-death cockroach in denial and glib half-fungus respectively, are up for the spooking.
I'll be gone on (AEDT timezone) Thursday and Friday, though, so if I don't reply on those days, don't assume Friday the Thirteenth has killed me with his knife-glove, or anything like that. -
Ooh, sounds fun. Though... by
on 2016-10-16 02:28:00 UTC
Link to this
I think I'd personally prefer to do it as a prompted story rather than an RP. So, guys, throw your creepy ideas at me, and I'll use some or all of them to torment Agent Derik. I'll make it a goal to finish by Halloween. {= D
~Neshomeh -
What, right now? by
on 2016-10-16 08:11:00 UTC
Link to this
Or on the T-Board?
-
Yeah, now! by
on 2016-10-16 14:15:00 UTC
Link to this
Otherwise I'll never have time to get anything written. {= )
Of course, if people don't want to indulge my whims, that's fine. I just figured, since the agents in Medical aren't going to run into each other anyway, it wouldn't hurt to do the thing a little differently.
~Neshomeh -
Oh, well, okay, then! by
on 2016-10-17 10:52:00 UTC
Link to this
Derik encounters strange, overly-complex machines and machinery throughout the halls. Everywhere he goes, he can hear a faint whirring and clicking.
Spooks probably happen at some point.
That work as a prompt, or the sort you were after? Tried keeping it vague, and all.
I am very interested in seeing how this gets interpreted... -
So, creepy/spooky thing to happen to Derik? by
on 2016-10-17 09:02:00 UTC
Link to this
I don't have the creepiest mindset, but I'll do my best. (I'm also assuming that 'creepy and open-ended' is more interesting to write from than 'AND THEN THERE WERE GUTS AND THEN THERE WAS A SCREAMING MONSTER AND AND'.)
-Every door closes behind him about 8 seconds after he steps through. All of them.
-A room where the lights don't work, and there is something in the middle which he has to work his way past.
-An overhead duct drips with sticky black fluid. There is a ventilation grille a few feet further along.
-A massively scarred figure which precisely mirrors his every move. (Yes, I think I'm ripping off Tomb Raider at this point.)
-A reddish moss covers every surface in the room. It's impossible to tell what all the lumps on the floor are...
-A roomful of bats. Bats everywhere. So many bats. They're all sleeping... for now.
-A perfectly lovely, perfectly empty white room, lit by a fluorescent light that isn't even flickering. The far door stands invitingly open. This is the only room where the door in doesn't shut behind him.
-A list of names pinned to a wall, written in what looks alarmingly like blood, all in different handwriting. Halfway down is his name - in his own hand.
-A rough-cut tunnel enters the corridor on one side, and leaves a little further down on the other. It is pitch black inside.
That the sort of thing you're looking for?
hS -
Yep, that'll do. {= ) by
on 2016-10-17 16:01:00 UTC
Link to this
And just when I thought I was gonna get off the hook, too. ^_^;
This is great stuff, though, both of you. I think the well-lit white room is the creepiest of the lot. Thanks!
~Neshomeh -
Will this be held on the Board? (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 02:25:00 UTC
Link to this
-
It'll be on T-Board, I think. (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 02:30:00 UTC
Link to this
-
It sounds quite interesting. by
on 2016-10-16 02:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Assuming we get enough people to really make this fun, I'd be in. So, if we do get this off the ground, consider my two, Agents Apecian and Michael, ready for torment! And feel free to throw a dagger or twenty at Apecian's head, folks, or turn him into a newt. He'll get better.
-
Some clarifications by
on 2016-10-16 01:45:00 UTC
Link to this
Those without permission can join, and choose to make this experience canon once they get permission.
That being said, everyone can choose to make it canon for individual agents, as all agents involved should be kept separate. -
Of course, It's your choice whether or not we do this. (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 01:24:00 UTC
Link to this
-
As in I need interest before posting on T-B (nm by
on 2016-10-16 01:56:00 UTC
Link to this
-
The Haunted Medical by
on 2016-10-16 15:28:06 UTC
Link to this
The power has gone out in Medical. The red emergency lights being the only thing to light your way. You are trapped in a seemingly endless maze. You (and your partner, if your writer wants) have yet to encounter another agent, and everything you do encounter are extremely fitting for the date. In fact, you might say you're in a horror movie.
Here is where we begin the act of scaring the ever living crap out of your agents.
-
((Oops)) by
on 2016-10-19 00:46:28 UTC
Link to this
-
When the lights went out. . . by
on 2016-10-18 17:10:17 UTC
Link to this
Jack Riggs and the Detective turned slowly to face one another.
The silence was almost a sound of its own for a moment. One could've heard a pin drop. Both of them turned into the darkness of Medical, curtains drawn on one side of the bed, pale against the sudden shadows of the room.
"Nice place you have here," said the Detective drily.
Jack shushed him.
"Okay, guessing this doesn't happen often. . ." the Detective murmured to himself, raising his hands defensively when Jack shot a look at him.
Both were listening keenly. After another moment of the utter silence, the Detective's irritated squint became a thousand yard stare, and his face grew pale.
"Do you hear anything?" he said softly, still staring vacantly into the dark.
"Not a thing," Jack said, shifting back to a more comfortable position in his chair by the Detective's bedside. "Power outages happen on occasion, even in HQ. Someone's probably on their way to fix it."
The Detective rolled his eyes.
"Jack, what happens in a power outage? People freak, or at least get irritated. Often, people get scared. After all, most species have some fear of the dark," he said, plucking the IV from his arm, sitting up on his hospital bed and grabbing his coat from its edge.
"They're not wrong," said the hunter ruefully, raising an eyebrow before looking at the Detective. "So?"
"So. . . The irritated and the fearful aren't known for their vows of silence," he said, looking Jack dead in the eye.
"So why can you practically cut this one with a knife?"
-
No sound could be heard. by
on 2016-10-18 17:59:45 UTC
Link to this
It seemed like the silence had devored everything beyond the two Agents' eyes. The room itself appeared to be shrinking in the darkness, as the shadows slowly advanced towards them.
-
"Well, this is different." by
on 2016-10-18 18:43:24 UTC
Link to this
"We should leave," said Jack darkly. "I've seen this movie before, and it never ends well."
He walked over toward the door of Medical, pausing and looking back for his partner.
"Yep, good idea. . ." said the Detective absently, shrugging into his coat and shoving aside the curtains to examine the row of hospital beds, strangely silent in the dark.
-
Something was standing beyond the beds. by
on 2016-10-18 18:49:42 UTC
Link to this
The room was too dark for details, but it seemed like an humanoid shape, with two odd forms behind it, each one which seemed starting from where the shoulders of the shape should be.
-
"Hello," said the Detective cautiously. by
on 2016-10-18 20:40:44 UTC
Link to this
He quickly stepped backwards towards the door, not losing sight of the creature.
"Who are you talking to?" asked Jack, brow furrowing in concern. "And why couldn't this have happened in the cafeteria?" he added in a mutter, looking around the room for the smelling salts.
"Fella over here in the corner," said the Detective, still staring at the figure, not blinking. "Time Lords have slightly better night vision- not surprised you can't see him. Looking for something?" he asked, catching Jack's searching gaze in his periphery.
"Salt, iron- anything that'll sting the occult," he said.
The Detective nodded, considering. "Not a bad idea, considering where we are. Might add flashlight to that list, so we can get a good look at our mute friend. I can see him as is, though, so I'll be the one keep an eye on him and stay near the door. You have a look around. I suggest you start with the cabinets over there, since they're accessed pretty regularly."
As Jack went to search in the room, the Detective addressed the figure once more. He stood straight, looking as intimidating as it was possible to look in a hospital gown and a trench coat.
"Who are you, then?"
-
The figure didn't move at all. by
on 2016-10-18 20:50:01 UTC
Link to this
In fact, it didn't seem to be alive. It looked like some medieval statue, and was in fact covering its eyes. The odd shapes looked like parts of wings, as far it was possible to tell.
-
Having apparently found the flashlight, Jack flicked it on. ((Bit longer than usual, sorry)) by
on 2016-10-18 23:15:31 UTC
Link to this
“WEEPING ANGEL!” they said, practically together.
“Jack, don’t take your eyes off that statue for a second,” said the Detective, feeling focused and alert for once in his life.
Jack very nearly rolled his eyes. “Thanks so much. I’ve totally never heard of a Weeping Angel before. Just shouted that because I felt like it.” Sighing, he continued, “Any ideas?”
The Detective bit his lip, thinking. Angels could move when you were looking at them. . . That which holds the image of an angel. . .
He did have an idea.
“Jack, I’ve got a plan.”
“Fantastic!”
“Walk out of this room and leave me here.”
“Less fantastic. You do realize these things don’t just grab one victim and leave, right? And since when are you the type for the big, heroic sacrifice?”
“I’ve got a plan, Jack, and very little time to explain it. Now, go ahead and blink. I need your eyes in the best possible condition for this. Ready?”
“Now,” said Jack. The Detective stared at the angel. The light was beginning to hurt his eyes, and he was feeling the sting of holding them open.
“Good. Now you?”
“I just nodded,” the Detective said. “Ready? I’m going to blink. . . Now!”
He screwed his eyes shut, and felt the moisture return to them.
"Alright," the Detective said. "Now, I'm going to walk over to you, and you're going to hand me that flashlight without moving the beam from the statue. Then, without looking away from the Angel at any point, you are then going to walk out of this room, and leave me here."
Jack scoffed. "You can forget that right now."
"Oh, come on, Jack- I've got a plan. Don't have time to explain it now, though. Rest assured, you hit the nail on the head when you said I'm not one for heroic sacrifices. One more blink before we start. You first. Ready?" They blinked, and the Detective edged toward the flashlight. As he reached out, the Detective prized the flashlight from his hands. Suddenly, the beam wavered, as the Detective chuckled. “We’re literally passing the torch!” he said. Jack just steadied the beam, sighing.
“Now leave,” he told Jack, “and don’t take your eyes off it for one moment.”
“I still don’t understand-”
“No, I didn’t expect you to. Trust me when I say that I have a plan- now get out!” the Detective snarled.
Jack edged his way back toward the door, sparing the Detective a final, concerned glance before shutting it.
“Now, angel- let’s get down to business, shall we? You can’t move when you’re being seen, can you? Well, since you can’t speak, let’s prove that, shall we?”
The Detective switched off the flashlight.
A half second later, he switched it back on again, and the angel stood before him. The Detective took a worried half-step back. Bit closer than he’d been expecting.
“Right, no worries there, then. Now, second fact is, that which holds the image of an angel becomes itself an angel. But everyone knows that,” he said, devilish grin breaking onto his face. He practically lived for these moments. “So the really clever bit is that angels count as someone looking at you. And you may not be an Angel, given that you just showed up at random. Maybe you’re a hallucination, maybe something I don’t even know about yet, but I reckon,” he said, straining not to blink but loving every second of his moment in the spotlight, “You still have to play by the rules.”
The Detective bent, placing the flashlight on the floor, and illuminating the angel, light bouncing off the cabinet behind the Time Lord.
“Oh, and, guess what?” he said, stepping out of the way of the cabinet and clapping a hand on the statue, staring over its shoulder at the face of the angel’s reflection in the medicine cabinet.
“‘That which holds the image,’ remember? So reflections still count.”
-
That was the moment the Ironic Overpower chose to kill the flashlight's battery. by
on 2016-10-19 06:25:10 UTC
Link to this
((No worries. that's a good one.))
-
The Detective turned to stare at the statue. by
on 2016-10-19 17:38:27 UTC
Link to this
While he couldn't quite see it, the Angel couldn't be certain of this- or, at least, that's what he was banking on.
Still keeping both eyes on the statue, the Detective fumbled in his coat pocket for his sonic screwdriver. The room took on a green cast as the Detective activated it, pointing it at the flashlight. He could use the sonic waves to generate some flow of electricity, keeping the bulb glowing. He knew he had to keep the bulb dim in case it went out again- that way his night vision wouldn't be completely shot. While he still had the advantage of the reflection, the Detective backed away toward the door, keeping his screwdriver aimed at the torch.
Fumbling for the knob from behind, he wrenched the door open and flung himself through, slamming the door and hearing something BANG against the metal from the other side. He switched the settings of the screwdriver, and cold-welded the lock shut, turning to face Jack, gasping out, "I think we should go- that door won't hold it for long."
"Yeah, but what did you do?" Jack asked. He was standing, arms crossed, out in the hallway.
"I'll explain later!" the Detective unwittingly quoted, fear making his voice much deeper as they ran through the red-tinted halls.
They should've been headed toward the exit.
-
Except there was another Angel in front of them. by
on 2016-10-19 20:05:37 UTC
Link to this
Before any of the Agents could react, both of them were transported in another dark corridor. Both the walls and the ceilings looked in bad shape, and a hazy atmosphere was lying around. Some red liquid charged with energy was flowing through the corridors, and little things seemed to move in the shadows.
-
Both agents landed spread eagled on the floor. . . by
on 2016-10-19 20:49:03 UTC
Link to this
“Bang up job spotting the angel, Jack! Really spectacular! I thought hunters were supposed to be observant!” shouted the Detective, facedown on the floor.
Jack rolled his eyes. “Nah, I spotted him, I just thought I’d let him be a surprise!” he said, making spirit fingers. He hadn’t gotten up first, so, to any observer, he appeared to be making snow angels with deformed wings.
The Detective grunted, shifting to his feet and picking his glasses back up off the floor. “Where are we, anyway?” he asked, wiping the specs on his shirt.
“No idea,” said Jack, climbing slowly to his feet. “Angels send you back to the past to feed on the potential energy of an unlived time stream. But if the PPC ever looked like this, I was away for it.”
Filing away the suggestion of a past prolonged absence on the part of his partner, the Detective rolled his eyes. “I think we’ve already covered that this probably isn’t an angel. At least not a subspecies I’ve heard of. They don't operate this way, and they don't teleport into hallways, for a start. Plus, we met that first one totally out of the blue," he said, also climbing to his feet and taking in his surroundings. "No. . . Not Angels."
We’ve been transported somewhere entirely different by not-Weeping Angels that are pretending to be angels. Spooky. So probably something designed to scare us. And transported somewhere, mind, with a horrible standard of general maintenance. Also. . .” he scanned the area with his screwdriver, “energy charged red liquid. Method of power conduction? Flooding of the electrical systems? Vaporization of the liquid could result in the atmosphere, providing a tolerable atmosphere for whatever those moving things are. Might even be toxic to either of us. . .” he murmured absently.
The Detective looked around the room- some place he didn’t understand, or expect in the slightest.
“Interesting. . .” he said with a grin.
"Maybe," said Jack, squinting. "But we still need to find our way back."
-
Several pair of red eyes were on the agents. by
on 2016-10-19 21:14:31 UTC
Link to this
it seemed like they were slowly surrounded by things looking like blobs of shadows in the darkness They also could hear chains rattling behind them.
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Before the Detective could move. . . by
on 2016-10-22 19:49:37 UTC
Link to this
Jack had unholstered his sidearm, retracted the bolt, and fired- twelve times, by the Detective's count. Each bullet hit its mark, and Jack's expression didn't change once. His eyes were as dead as the little red-eyed creatures.
"Sorry, but I've seen this episode Scooby Doo before, and- no offense- I thought he was a p\*\*\*\* then."
The Detective just looked at Jack, raising an eyebrow and uncovering his ears- gunfire in a tight corridor wasn't quiet. "Why the hell did you bring your sidearm to medical?" he demanded.
"Hunter thing," said Jack with a shrug.
"Right," the Detective said, nodding. "Well, you could've at least brought my staser."
"Yeah," said Jack with a grin. "I could've. Now, you wanna stand around whining about how I stole your spotlight or you wanna keep walking?"
The Detective just grinned, and they walked on.
-
Unfortunately... by
on 2016-10-23 06:19:50 UTC
Link to this
It turned out that the creatures were actual blobs of shadow, more irritated than affected by the gunshots. They began to crawl deceptively fast towards the agents, using their arms to accelerate. Meanwhile, the chains' rattling was getting louder and louder.
-
“Should’ve seen that one coming,” Jack said with a shrug. by
on 2016-10-24 12:43:52 UTC
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“Any ideas?”
“Well,” the Detective said calmly, though he had to raise his voice over the rattling of the chains. “Totally unaffected by gunshots, and probably rather irritated that we’ve tried it to find out.”
“Those don’t sound like ideas, D!” said Jack, slowly stepping back and away from the shadows.
“Well, they do in fact add up to one inescapable conclusion, Jack, if you could be bothered to think it through.”
“Yeah, and what’s that?” demanded Jack, aiming his thoroughly useless pistol. Some people had safety blankets. . .
“LEG IT!” shouted the Detective, and together they sprinted through the corridor ahead.
“Any ideas what these are?!” shouted Jack.
“Not a one,” the Detective returned, jumping over one of the shadowy blobs. Aware he was still in his medical gown under that coat, the Detective glared at the blob to keep it from looking up.
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Said glaring allowed him to have a closer look at the blob. by
on 2016-10-24 13:10:28 UTC
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The thing was actually wearing a blue mask with round eyes, a bar making up a nose, and a sad expression. Something was also seemingly carved on the forehead's mask.
The monster tried to slash with its hands the Detective as it jumped over him, but missed him. It then made a strange hissing sound, and suddenly, some sort of ice crystal formed in the air and was shot towards the two agents, passing a few inches over their heads. Some of the other monsters began shooting other ice crystals, but were fortunately inaccurate.
Meanwhile, a roar began to accompany the chains' rattling.
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The pair increased speed. by
on 2016-10-24 13:29:30 UTC
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The only sounds were the Detective shouting "D'you know, I think we've upset something! Probably around when you shot it!"
Jack just kept running, muttering "Must go faster, must go faster," under his breath, eminently grateful that there was no rearview mirror to tell him that the approaching objects were even closer than they appeared.
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The Ironic Overpower was more than happy to oblige. by
on 2016-10-24 14:11:37 UTC
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The two agents hit a junction with a conveniently placed mirror.
Floating above the mob of monsters was some sort of very tall, although gaunt for its size, humanoid monster. It wore a tatterred trenchcoat with traces of blood on it, and chains were rattling around it. It also looked like it hadn't feet, or legs, for that matter. It had gloved hand which looked like they were dripping blood which were holding what looked like revolvers, but these weapons had the size of rifles. On its head was a paperbag with a grin painted where the mouth would be, and one opening for a red right eye looking like a gunshot, with traces of dried blood.
The other ways forwards were left and right.
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((Hello, beastie)) by
on 2016-10-24 16:15:58 UTC
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Jack was patting at the mirror, horrorstruck. “How the hell did we not see our reflections running down the hallway?” he demanded of the Detective.
“What, you think I know? It’s obvious we’re dealing with some kind of reality warper with an Alucard complex,” the Detective snapped, turning back from the mirror to face the monster.
“Although. . . there’s a chance the mirror was there the whole time, and the low-lying fog obscured our reflections. . . Dammit! Multiple variables, screwing with my brain. OKAY- from the beginning.”
The Detective stood, dead-eyeing the creature, as Jack looked at him like he was mad. The Detective stared, taking in every detail. The wear of the trench coat, the obvious fact that the bag had been used to cover someone’s head in a previous shooting. It had shot several victims, apparently, as the blood around the eye was dry, but its gloved hands were dripping. No other bodies apparent. So observing, the agent opened his mouth to speak, then tilted his head.
“Ah, screw it,” he said, “OPEN FIRE!” and Jack slammed his spare mag into the pistol, firing three shots into the wailing, chain-ridden monstrosity, before they legged it into the left corridor at random. Every good Whovian knows to turn left, after all.
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((Its name is Reaper. Sorry, it's not really a social monster.)) by
on 2016-10-24 18:40:03 UTC
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The Reaper was barely annoyed by the gunshots. But it was enough for it to answer in its own way. It leveled one of its guns. Purple orbs of energy formed in front of it, before it used them to bombard the crossroads, wrecking havoc and blasting the poor mirror to oblivion.
In front of the agents was a room with big stairs inside. Unfortunately, it also looked like a pretty long sprint to do.
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"Interesting. . ." said the Detective. by
on 2016-10-26 16:59:35 UTC
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"Not the word I'd use!" yelled Jack as they pelted into the large room.
"Well, I can almost guarantee those ice spikes being shot at us before would've dinged the mirror. Cracked it in some way."
"Shame, that," said Jack, slightly irked at the ineffectiveness of his firearm. "'Just once, I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets,'" Jack quoted in a mutter, holstering his sidearm.
"Well, it is actually a shame," said the Detective, pacing quickly before standing stock still in the center of the room, his gaze taking on the vacancy of mental abstraction. "As there wasn't a crack in that mirror. And we didn't see our reflections- atmosphere wasn't thick enough to block the images. The mirror only appeared once we got to the end of the hallway. . . And if they wanted to kill us, there are a lot more effective methods than sending us here to meet some bizarre monster. Which could've killed us without a thought as we ran down the corridor, instead of relying on monsters, so. . ."
Jack glanced at the Detective, lips pursed in indecision, and ran up a few of the stairs.
"I don't think that's necessary, Jack. . ." the Detective murmered dazedly.
"I'm taking the high ground," Jack called down, turning and aiming the pistol at the doorway.
"Good- you'll have a head start on the monster that's IMPERVIOUS TO BULLETS," snarked the Detective, rolling his eyes.
"Not leaving, D," Jack called down.
"Much as I appreciate the sentiment, Jack, I doubt that'll be necessary," said the Detective. "I think I know what's going on here. We're not trapped in some alternate reality, we never have been. I seriously doubt we've actually moved, though we may be in very real danger. None of this makes any sense. Everything going dark in medical? The vanishing? Angels acting as transport? The mirror was the real giveaway. But you just couldn't resist, could you?" called the Detective out at the empty room. "Couldn't resist tipping your hand? That little bit of irony, the touch of the dramatic? I understand, really. But I've beat your game- solved your little puzzle. AM I RIGHT?!" The Detective snapped, bellowing now.
-
Fortunately for the Detective... by
on 2016-10-26 17:24:00 UTC
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Some force kept the monsters from entering the room. Unfortunately, it didn't stop the Reaper of firing more orbs of energy. And the devastation they caused with each blast didn't feel like an hallucination at all.
-
((Erm. . . Sorry, I've not actually seen Inuyasha)) (nm) by
on 2016-10-19 22:55:05 UTC
Link to this
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((Actually, that's Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne.)) (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 04:58:30 UTC
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((I'll go for modifications when I can.))
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Bryan and Frederick were in the same hallway, when the lights went out. by
on 2016-10-18 00:09:24 UTC
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"Stick together?" Bryan asked.
"Sounds good to me," Frederick replied. "Why are we whispering?"
Frederick opened a door, and burned some tin. Immediately, his senses become much finer, and he could see in the dark as a result.
"Anyone here?" he called out.
-
'Something about this place seem different. boss?' by
on 2016-10-17 07:47:54 UTC
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Maz looked up at Yocherry. This was a larger task than it sounded, considering that one Yocherry was worth more than four Maz-es.
'Um. No? Yes? Um, what?'
'Something seems off,' Yocherry said, looking around, eyebrow raised.
'Yeah, dude?' Maz said, antennae standing with life. 'Like, uh, like it's all, um, I dunno, fake? Like the figment of a, um, delusional imagination, um, brought on by trauma? And then, uh, you're just about to, dude, wake up back home in, um, the Labyrinth and go on with your life?'
'Well-'
'With no talking flowers or humans, or, um, fanfiction, or, um, any of that?' Maz paused. 'No offence.'
'You know, boss,' Yocherry looked down to Maz, eyebrow still raised. 'That was close, but I was thinken more "spooky." Place looks "spooky."'
'Oh. Um. Yeah.' Maz, who had been raised in a damp, claustrophobic cave system, and had lived most of her life eating decaying matter and half-rotten corpses, actually thought it all looked quite charming.
'Pretty spooky, dude.'
-
Suddenly, something cracked up ahead of them. (nm) by
on 2016-10-18 19:14:22 UTC
Link to this
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The sound echoed through the silent corridors like a bullet. by
on 2016-10-18 20:31:50 UTC
Link to this
Maz stopped in her tracks.
'Dude, you, uh, hear that?'
Yocherry's walking had slowed down to a gentle padding. In the darkness, his glowing head-fungus was like a distant, fog-choked lamppost.
'Yeah, boss.'
'Um. Yeah.' Maz glanced left to right. 'So, uh.'
'It was a crack, boss,' Yocherry said, grinning at her. 'Gonna stop for every random noise, are we?'
'Well-'
'Whoa!' Yocherry exclaimed, freezing in his tracks. He turned around, further grinning at Maz. 'A footstep!'
'Shut up, dude.' She muttered bitterly, sending Yocherry into a giggling fit. 'But, um, dude. What cracked?'
Yocherry shrugged, stopping to let Maz catch up. 'Something broke, I expect.'
'Thanks, dude,' Maz said in a voice dry enough to host tumbleweeds and cacti.
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The cracking sounds seemed to have come from behind a door, by
on 2016-10-18 23:13:03 UTC
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which was located at the end of the hall.
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Levy stood up in red-lit corridor by
on 2016-10-17 01:03:44 UTC
Link to this
She remembered the last few... minutes? Hours? Fairly vividly, and resolved herself to trudge on.
The PA rang out a message: "Stay calm. Expect rescue within 18 hours. Happy Halloween."
((Once upon a time Levy had angel's wings. Once upon a time a monster named Argus pulled them from her back. Once upon a time Levy developed a phobia of Argus.))
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"Ma'am? Over here, ma'am!" by
on 2016-10-17 02:20:28 UTC
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A man waved at her from down the corridor. A large security checkpoint was set up in the middle of the corridor and was occupied by a pair of Security Weeds, a small Zorua, and the man in question wearing a set of comically large power armour. "This way out! And don't listen to the PA system— I know that it was Townsend operating the radio in the lobby and that sure as heck didn't sound like him."
-
Levy backed into a defensive stance. by
on 2016-10-17 13:37:33 UTC
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"How do I know you're real?" She asked. Ethereal blue chains began circling her feet, wrapping their way up to about Levy's head level, solidifying and turning gold in the process.
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"Woah!" by
on 2016-10-17 13:59:58 UTC
Link to this
The man waved his arms even faster. "Look out, you've got some evil magic chains around you now!"
The two DIS Weeds wheeled around to look at the woman.
"Is she one of them?" asked Weed-Thirteen to its colleague.
"No idea," replied Weed-Seventy. "Just... be cautious."
"Well, she's about to get murderlized by the magic chains there," said the man in the power armour. "Sh-shouldn't we do something?"
A scream from the left briefly distracted the agents manning the checkpoint. Weed-Seventy waved in the direction of the noise. "De Grasse, Tacitus, go and investigate that."
"But—"
"We can deal with this. Go and see if it's someone who needs help."
Gaspard looked from the Weeds to the woman and then back at the Weeds. If they wanted to deal with that, they could go on right ahead, he figured. "A-aye, sir. C-come on, T-Tacitus. Let's back away from the oncoming bloodbath."
The Zorua didn't need to be told twice— he practically bolted away from the checkpoint as soon as he could.
-
Levy also turned to face the scream, relaxing her stance a little. by
on 2016-10-17 14:29:12 UTC
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"I wouldn't call myself an expert on this stuff," Levy said. "But I can help."
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"Not so fast," said Weed-Thirteen. by
on 2016-10-17 14:40:39 UTC
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"Firstly, how can we be sure that you're a real agent?"
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Levy fished out her ID Card. by
on 2016-10-17 14:55:38 UTC
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"My credentials, Mr. Dandelion." She said, showing it to him.
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The Weed cautiously retrieved the ID from afar. by
on 2016-10-17 16:01:13 UTC
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Thirteen studied the card, flipping it over once or twice. "You do realize that this alone really isn't proof? This appears to be a legitimate ID card, but what's to say that you're not an apparition that can produce these at will?"
Seventy looked at his partner. "Then what will you accept as concrete proof that she is who she says she is?"
The first Weed stood still. "I... don't know, actually."
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Levy pondered for a moment. by
on 2016-10-17 16:03:21 UTC
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"Do you guys of a line to the outside?" She asked.
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"We do, but..." by
on 2016-10-17 18:22:32 UTC
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"...after all that's been going on, I think you'll understand if we're hesitant to give out our comms to anyone." Weed Seventy crossed its tendrils and looked around. ""
There was another shout from down the corridor— Gaspard and Tacitus burst out of a room and slammed the door behind them, the former blocking the door thanks to his CMC-300 suit. The latter nervously paced up and down the corridor, casting terrified glances at the shadows. "Nothing in there, just another screamer!" said the Spy, gesticulating at the door. "Also, I think I might've stepped on a snake or something! It didn't belong to anyone, did it?"
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Levy simply nodded. by
on 2016-10-17 18:43:49 UTC
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"I understand," She said. "Do you have some way of locating agents? I got separated from a friend of mine and he'd probably be wondering where I am."
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The Aviator looked up when the lights went out. by
on 2016-10-16 22:12:30 UTC
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She frowned and got off her seat and joined Zeb by the door. "Don't tell me Tolkien stopped spinning again?" she said irritably.
Zeb shrugged, his ears flat against his head. "I don't know, but something smells... off."
-
The door seemed to be radiating heat. by
on 2016-10-16 22:21:24 UTC
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It was like there was something on the other side. Something burning. Something hungry. Something evil. And it wanted them. It seemed to press against the door, trying to get in, to consume them.
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The Aviator withdrew her hand and pulled her staser from her belt. by
on 2016-10-16 22:45:45 UTC
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Zeb felt the hairs of his mane begin crackling with electricity. "What's going on?" he said.
"I don't know," the Aviator said, "but I intend to find out." Flattening herself against the wall by the door, she raised her staser and reached for the doorknob.
-
((*Laughs Maniacally*)) by
on 2016-10-16 22:52:42 UTC
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The sound of young girls singing filled the agent's ears.
Ri-na and Zeb, Ri-na and Zeb
Six strikes takes a Rose, One takes Ri-na
The door blew in with the sound of a boom, fire filling the room. For some reason, it didn't burn.
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"The hell?" by
on 2016-10-16 22:55:29 UTC
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The Aviator jumped back as fire filled the room. She grabbed a frozen Zeb by the scruff of his neck and pulled him out of harm's way. "What the f\*\*\*'s going on?"
"F-fire," Zeb whimpered, his ears flat against his head and his tail tucked between his legs.
-
Outside the door... by
on 2016-10-16 23:02:31 UTC
Link to this
...Was an image that would break most people. The Aviator confirmed the crucified infant as a Time Tot. Her Time Tot. Dancing around the 6 foot tall spire were 6 nude girls, identical if not for their age.
Rose Potter's dead, Elanor's dead
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((If I might make a suggestion, perhaps it's Gavan? Or Alex?)) (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 23:18:19 UTC
Link to this
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((Er, if this is in October, she's still pregnant...)) (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 23:16:27 UTC
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This fact was further confirmed... by
on 2016-10-16 23:28:36 UTC
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...By the sudden absence of the Time Tot's psychic signature in Aviator's belly.
((
She's still in there, just masked from Aviator's psychic abilities)) -
"No." by
on 2016-10-17 00:02:35 UTC
Link to this
The Aviator felt her breath catch in her throat, but she raised her staser and fired at the dancing girls. "What the hell is going on?!"
Around them, the flames burned ever hotter.
"We h-have to g-get out of here," Zeb said, his teeth chattering.
-
The door behind them slammed shut, then seemed to melt into the wall, trapping them in the room. by
on 2016-10-17 00:14:35 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to our resting place,
Locked away from time and space.
We hope that you've lived on well,
Because now you're stuck in Hell!
The voices, which had started out as sweet and innocent, twisted into a snarl on the last line. The Roses all turned to face the Aviator and Zeb, drawing their wands. All of the Roses were now horribly mutilated, burnt all over, and some bore the marks of the deaths inflicted upon them by the agents. Each only had one, now, and it was impossible to tell what they had originally been, for now they were charred and flaky. The Roses advanced on the agents as the flames, which had made their way around the edges of the room, began to press inwards.
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"Screw this, we're portaling!" the Aviator said as she pulled out her remote. (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 02:07:25 UTC
Link to this
-
The RA short circuited by
on 2016-10-17 02:10:50 UTC
Link to this
Trapping both agents in the room
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Zeb covered his face with his paws. by
on 2016-10-17 03:06:30 UTC
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The Aviator pulled out her sonic and began frantically zapping the remote, trying to get it to work and swearing in Gallifreyan.
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The six dead girls advanced on the agents. by
on 2016-10-17 04:20:35 UTC
Link to this
"Don't leave us," hissed one of the Roses.
"We've only just begun to play with you," added the youngest.
"We want you to keep us company here forever," said a third.
"Sisters, we must first make sure they cannot walk away from us," said the eldest. She pointed her wand at the Aviator and yelled, "EXPELLIARMUS!"
On the crucifix, the tiny figure that had to be Elanor cried out, proving she was still alive. She looked like she had been alive for several years, so she was about ten years old. "Mother!" she shouted, "Run!"
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"You're not my daughter," the Aviator shouted. by
on 2016-10-19 00:09:24 UTC
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"And I don't know what the hell is going on, if this is some sick Halloween prank or what, but the time for games is over." She could feel the heat of the flames on her face. She raised her staser pistol and aimed it at the Roses--then she hesitated. A split second before her finger squeezed the trigger, she swung around and shot the crucified child instead.
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The hole in the child's head joined the two stakes jutting out of her two hearts. by
on 2016-10-19 00:48:56 UTC
Link to this
"Mother," She said in rasped breaths. "Why?" She slumps over, dead.
There's a sharp pain in Aviator's stomach, the unmistakable psychic signature of her daughter returning.
The flames grow hotter, larger. The Rose Potters are quickly consumed by the flames, though a male figure stumbles out of it and into The Aviator's arms. Burned beyond recognition.
"Rina..." The man says, the voice revealing it to be Alex. He slumps over, dead.
In the flames, two silhouetted figures appear, an older male and a younger... female?
John and Mary.
Little Miss Mary.
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Why are you leaving so soon? asked the voices, back in their innocent and childlike state. by
on 2016-10-17 02:10:05 UTC
Link to this
Are we singing far off-tune?
Won't you stay and let us play?
Won't you let us your skin flay?
Can't we our deaths sit and discuss?
We'll make you stay: Expelliarmus!
Simultaneously, six jets of light shot from the wands of the Roses and straight towards the Aviator.
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NM by
on 2016-10-16 22:49:13 UTC
Link to this
-
Two DIA officers walked along the hallway. by
on 2016-10-16 18:11:48 UTC
Link to this
“Well, off to the ICU we go!” said the Guardsman cheerfully as he pushed the hovercart laden with supplies forward. “And we’d better make it quick, too. Dunno if those guys over there are in trouble.”
“Well, that’s what that generator on the cart is for, right?” said Naya as she looked behind her at the cargo in question being pushed around by her partner. “Yeah. Let’s just hurry, all right? This place gives me the creeps.” The quarian stepped to the side and planted a miniature floodlight on the floor, then stepped back towards the trolley to grab another. “What that Security Weed said in the lobby wasn’t exactly reassuring either. People reporting strange incidents or visions or new rooms. Is this some sort of airborne hallucinogen?”
The Guardsman’s particular facial expression was hard to guess behind his gas mask, but the shrug of his shoulders said all. “I blame the new architecture on the plothole. We both saw that abattoir, right? Medical might’ve landed on top of some location and blended with it. As for the visions… well, this just makes this situation look like a cheap horror movie. No idea about hallucinogens, but the air tests from the outpost back in the lobby come back clean. Not taking any chances, though. By the gods, shame on me if I'm ever going to forget putting on a gas mask after last week's incident.”
“Well, good thing you've remembered to put it on, then,” grumbled Naya as she placed another floodlight on the floor. “Now I’m just waiting for the eventual jumpscare. I mean, look at this place. Long grey hallway, darkness ahead, semi-darkness behind us, doors on all sides.”
"Thanks for jinxing us."
"You're welcome."
-
A cold, hissing voice began to speak from everywhere at once. by
on 2016-10-16 18:21:52 UTC
Link to this
"Cheap horror? Did you hear that? He called us cheap horror!"
A second voice answered, "I heard. We'll just have to teach him better, won't we?" The two voices laughed, a horrible sound, one that chilled the blood, one that made you want to run away, but also made you want to find whatever it was that made the sound and kill it at the same time, before falling silent. The silence did not last long. The agents soon heard a slithering sound coming from all around them- the floor, the ceiling, the walls, and the far ends of the hallways.
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"Yup, cheap horror show, starting at nine, right on time." by
on 2016-10-16 18:32:52 UTC
Link to this
The Guardsman sighed. "Well, onwards. Intensive Care needs us, wot."
Naya, considerably less nonchalant about the situation, looked around and tried to determine the source of the noise. "Shouldn't we be worried about that slithering sound?" she asked, reaching for her Carnifex pistol on her hip holster.
"Not especially," said the Guardsman. "Big whoop, someone hijacked the PA system and is currently playing around with the sprinkler system. It's just going to cause a bigger mess for the poor guys in Building Maintenance. Still..." The Time Lord reached down and unbuttoned the clasp on his staser pistol's holster. "Better safe than sorry."
-
The laughter started again for a moment, then faded away once more. by
on 2016-10-16 18:37:14 UTC
Link to this
The slithering sounds continued, growing louder, and at the end of the hallway, it looked like there was something approaching. When it got closer, it was clear that it wasn't just a single something, but a horde of somethings, hissing and crawling towards the agents.
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"Oh, perfect." by
on 2016-10-16 18:47:59 UTC
Link to this
"That's just great," said Naya as she squinted at the approaching horde. "What in the name of the Homeworld is that?"
"Dunno," said the Guardsman as he stepped onto the hovercart, "but I'm not gonna step in that. Wanna ride? I can practice my boat punting skills." he grabbed a long metal bar from the cart and started pushing himself and the hovercart along.
"Wait for me!" said Naya, carefully getting on the cart. "Also, if you start singing 'O Sole Mio', I'm going to push you overboard."
"Well, it's going to be a little difficult with that racket," said the Guardsman, waving a hand around him. "What is this song anyways?"
-
Suddenly, snakes burst out of the Generic Floor, entangling the wheels of the cart. by
on 2016-10-16 18:55:10 UTC
Link to this
They started bursting out of everything, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, launching themselves at the agents while the tides of serpents on both sides of them moved ever-closer.
"How do you like our children, Agents?" the first voice asked. "Do you still think we're cheap horror?"
"Of course he does," the second answered. "We haven't shown them the best part, yet!"
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"I'm starting to wonder if DMFF is involved." by
on 2016-10-16 19:12:55 UTC
Link to this
"Look at them. Poor things— quite far from home, eh?" said the Guardsman. Thankfully, due to the hovercart not having wheels, the progress wasn't too severely impeded by the reptilian tide. The Guardsman continued to punt the cart above the snakes as Naya carefully picked up and dropped the snakes that were attempting to launch themselves onto the cart off to the side.
"I'm more concerned about the gloating nincompoops that have control of the PA system," said Naya. She cleared her throat and said: "Hey, you two jerks that are making this happen! Can you throw us a bone and explain what's going on here?"
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The two voices laughed by
on 2016-10-16 19:20:21 UTC
Link to this
"Who's to say we're controlling it," one said.
"Perhaps we're the announcers, and you're the Game Master," said the other
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Naya and the Guardsman glanced at each other. by
on 2016-10-16 19:28:36 UTC
Link to this
"We just went full meta," said the latter.
"Yeah, never go full meta!" said Naya up at the ceiling. "Also, if this is supposed to be a spooky ride, can we actually get something spooky? Misplaced snakes and loud voices over the PA isn't exactly terror-inducing. I've had worse days on the job, y'know."
"Yeah, completely amateurish."
"Totally, yeah."
"Hey, didn't you guys say that there was a bigger thing coming up?" said the Guardsman. "Show us the big thingy! C'mon, do it for us!"
"Yeah! As the game masters, we deserve the right to be spooked!"
"Spook us!"
"Yeah, spook us!"
((They're a tough crowd.))
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"Well, dearest, you heard them. They asked for it." by
on 2016-10-16 19:36:18 UTC
Link to this
The voices laughed, and the snakes launched themselves at the Guardsman. They shrank as they flew, until they were no more than a centimeter long and not even a millimeter wide.
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"Down!" by
on 2016-10-17 00:18:50 UTC
Link to this
The DIA agents reflexively ducked and turned away from the swarm. Fortunately for the quarian, her suit's kinetic barriers stopped the high-velocity snakes from reaching her; her partner was not as lucky. He took the full brunt of the swarm to the side and was thrown off the cart into the writhing mass of snakes below, where he was swept away by the living tide.
"Emiran!" Naya shouted as she unclipped a incendiary grenade from her belt. She threw the grenade 'upstream', torching the oncoming tide and thinning out the flow of snakes. She then hopped off the cart and ran after her partner, drawing her sidearm as she gave chase. "Right, you two jokers are in for it now," she said to nobody in particular.
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The two voices screamed in rage. by
on 2016-10-17 00:24:06 UTC
Link to this
"OUR CHILDREN!" They roared. "YOU'VE MURDERED OUR CHILDREN! PREPARE TO DIE AT THE HANDS OF A FRIEND!"
Meanwhile, the snakes bit into Emiran, spreading their poison and the corrupting influence of their beloved parents.
((Time Lords are walking DEMs, right? He can get out of this?))
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"For the Gods' sake, OW!" by
on 2016-10-17 01:00:01 UTC
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The Guardsman managed to find his footing and stood up, throwing off the snakes as he rattled off a steady stream of swear words in Gallifreyan. He managed to crush the last few under his boots as Naya turned the corner and caught up to him. He groggily held up a hand and tried to shoo her away. "P-poisoned. F-feeling off, get b-back f-f-for a m-minute here..."
"Your medkit, idiot!" shouted Naya as she skid to a halt. "You've got cure-all antidote in there!"
"R-r-right." The Guardsman clumsily reached into his holster and fumbled with his staser pistol. "J-just gonna sh-shoot it u-up..." He looked at his hand. This wasn't what he was aiming for. Out of its own accord, his hand tightened around the pistol's grip and pulled it out of the holster. "W-wait! N-Naya, get cl-clear!"
"Crap." Naya ducked into a nearby alcove as a staser bolt missed her by a few centimetres. She swore profusely as she fumbled with her own medkit and pulled out the antidode injector pen. Did she really have to do everything around here?
The Guardsman's vision was blurring and he felt uncomfortably hot. He tried to fight the influence that was causing him to take step after step towards his partner all while loosing a few shots in her direction. After what felt like an eternity, he saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. He fought as hard as he could against the urge to turn around and succeeded in managing to freeze on the spot.
Never was he more relieved to see Naya drop her tactical cloak and slam the antidote injector into his arm.
Naya quickly pushed herself away from her partner and took cover again, listening him gasp and cough in the middle of the hallway. She murmured a prayer and said: "Look, I know you don't like needles, but shooting at me was totally uncalled for."
The Time Lord groaned and propped himself against a wall. "I got spooked, okay?" he said between breaths. "I'm good now— but remember the last time I took the antidote? I got—"
"You got hyper, yeah," said Naya as she emerged from cover. "Oh boy. This day isn't getting any better, isn't it?"
"Getting more intense is what you mean, right?" said the Guardsman, marching back towards the hovercart with a spring in his step. "WOO! I FEEL ALIVE TODAY!"
Naya facepalmed. "Ancestors, give me strength."
-
Once more, a howl of rage echoed through the corridor. by
on 2016-10-17 01:12:13 UTC
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"YOU BASTARDS! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE OUR WRATH! DIE, YOU WORTHLESS HUMANOIDS, DIE! GET THEM, CHILDREN!" More of the tiny snakes leaped for Naya and the Guardsman. After a moment of silence, the second voice spoke in a softer tone.
"My dearest," it said. "It seems to me that these humanoids are better prepared than we thought. Perhaps we should give them a taste of our true power?" The first voice laughed its hideous laugh again.
"My sweet, I would say that you are a genius. Let us personally make them suffer for the deaths of so many of our young ones." Another slithering sound came from down the hallway, but the creatures that made this sound had to be far larger than the swarm of snakes still attacking the agents.
-
"Ooh, cardio!" by
on 2016-10-17 02:13:41 UTC
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"Any opportunity to do cardio is a good opportunity. So, do we run towards or away from the spooky noises?" said the Guardsman as he checked the safety on his pistol and aimed it down the corridor towards the source of the noise. "Also, do we take the cart or...?"
"What do you think, genius?" said Naya as she sprinted away from the noise. As she ran, she set a few sticky bombs to the floor and walls in preparation for the bigger-sounding nasties. "I've got our front covered— you blast things that pop out of the side, okay?"
"Will do!" said the Guardsman cheerfully as he fell into pace a few metres behind his partner, pistol at the ready. "Snap shooting, ready to rock!"
-
"Children!" cried the voices. "Away from the bombs!" by
on 2016-10-17 02:27:47 UTC
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The serpents on the floor froze, while the ones bursting through the walls, the ceiling, and the floor on the side of the bombs with Naya and the Guardsman continued to give chase. Soon after, the larger sounds stopped. They remained silent until the sticky bombs exploded, but then they resumed.
"Clever little humanoids, to hold us at bay with those!" the monsters cried. "We can use you! Yes, it would be a waste just to kill you. We'll just have to turn you instead!"
-
"Yeah, no, forget that." by
on 2016-10-17 02:55:02 UTC
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"How much further until the checkpoint?" said Naya as she glanced over her shoulder. "I don't think I an run any more—"
"Hey, up ahead! HEY GUYS, WE NEED SOME FIRE SUPPORT!" yelled the Guardsman, waving his arms. "GOT A TIDE OF SNAKES AND WE NEED PEST CONTROL!"
The DIA officers manning the checkpoint first glanced at the two agents, then at the massive surge of snakes, then back at the two runners. The quicker one of the two grabbed his own incendiary grenade and hurled it past Naya and the Guardsman while the other scrambled to his feet and hefted his sword. "What—"
Quarian and Time Lord vaulted over the crude barricade and settled in beside their colleagues. "Not much to be said. Ran up against killer snake entities," said the Guardsman as he started firing into the crowd of snakes. "Apparently they want us to become their servants or some nonsense like that. Not gonna happen, not on my watch. Nope. Zilch. Nada. Nyet."
"Have either of you seen agents yet?" asked Naya as she passed grenades to the rest of the group.
"Quite a few, actually," said the taller of the checkpoint guards. "We directed them to the exit— Townsend confirmed their arrival over encrypted comms and we had an actual, physical runner confirm the news. We're just thankful that the Things can't override our radio— imagine the mess if they could override our comms."
Naya promptly facepalmed. "Okay, so you jinxed us. Thanks for that, Becker."
"Sorry."
-
The voices cursed in a language the DIA agents didn't understand. by
on 2016-10-17 04:15:45 UTC
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"We'll have to ask her for help," muttered one.
"You know she'll hold it over our heads until we find a way to repay her," the other said.
"But if we don't, they'll get away," replied the other. "We can't allow that, can we?"
"No, I suppose we can't. Very well." The two paused for a moment, as if making sure of something, then shrieked, "LIZANA! HELP US! LIZANA!"
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"This is so dumb," said Naya. by
on 2016-10-17 14:05:48 UTC
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"We asked for 'spookiness' and not for 'fight for your life. I thought this was supposed to be a cheap horror setup."
"I'm sorry, what?" said Agent Becker as he peeped over the barricade. "Do you guys know something?"
"Only that we're being chased after by this weird entity that is trying to kill or assimilate us into the Borg consciousness or something!" said the Guardsman in a maniacally happy tone. "Said something about us being the 'game masters' or something of the sort. Well, I say that I want more spooky and less kill-y. Is that possible or...?"
Naya looked at her partner. Though her face was obstructed by an opaque visor, the Time Lord knew she had just rolled her eyes at him. "Are you seriously making demands to the Suvian whatchamacallit that's hunting us right now?"
"Well, it's worth a shot, innit? 'sides, you just said something about this being a cheap horror setup."
"...fine., point taken."
-
The PA system crackled, and then a cool, feminine voice rang out over it. by
on 2016-10-17 18:14:29 UTC
Link to this
"You have asked for horror, and they have asked for help. Your wishes shall be granted." The world twisted and spun around the agents before shattering into a million pieces. It hung like that for a moment, shards of the images they had last seen scattered across a vast, empty space, before the world suddenly put itself together. When it did, the agents were in an empty white corridor, lit by little red lights on the ceiling.
The PA system started once more, and the voice commanded, "Hunt them or escape, as your roles dictate. I expect to be compensated for my troubles when this is over."
"We know," one of the reptilian voices called. "We will give you what you ask. Now, dearest, shall we hunt?"
"We shall," answered the other. The slithering began anew.
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"Right, I've had about enough of this," said the Guardsman. by
on 2016-10-18 02:26:15 UTC
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He pulled out his portal generator and opened a portal— and a massive one at that. A portal nearly as long as the corridor itself opened overhead, letting a howling, frigid arctic air screech through. The temperature in the hallway dipped by tens of degrees in the time it took for someone to say 'you wouldn't happen to have a spare jacket on you?'
The four DIA agents hastily used their disguise generators to acquire nice thick parkas before looking at the rather pitiful carpet of snakes that had slowed to a standstill. "Well, that's that," said Becker. "Just, er, what now?"
The other three agents drew their sidearms and began blasting away at the larger snakes in the group. "Do you really have to ask?" said Naya.
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"You have attempted to get around my power. You shall be punished," the voice said. by
on 2016-10-18 03:16:34 UTC
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The portal abruptly closed, the generator exploded, and the world shattered once more. When it put itself together, Naya and the Guardsman found themselves alone, in a blank, white corridor. Even the hissing voices had gone silent, and the snakes had vanished. The corridor ended a foot behind them, and it appeared to go on with only a single path available in front of them. There were no turns, no alternate passageways, just a single hallway, and on the floor of that hallway was a glowing blue line.
"Please proceed on the highlighted route," the PA said. "If you do not, you will be terminated."
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The DIA agents looked at each other. by
on 2016-10-18 14:19:42 UTC
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"Well, what if we don't—"
"Emiran, shut up for once in your life and just focus," hissed Naya, racking the slide on her Carnifex and taking up a position against the far wall.
"Fine," grumbled the Time Lord, checking the power indicator on his pistol and sidling up to his side of the corridor. "Let's just walk into the blindingly obvious trap set by a crappy Saturday morning cartoon Suvian villain. Gods, sometimes I wish I could decide to retire already and do something normal with my life."
"But then you'd miss Terabyte and me," said Naya. "Seriously. Retiring sets you back quite a bit."
"Point taken," said the Guardsman, grinning as he slowly moved up the corridor. Naya kept up with his advance, pistol at the ready, carefully watching the corridor for movement.
-
After a long period of careful walking, the agents came to a blank white door. by
on 2016-10-18 23:36:56 UTC
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The blue line continued underneath the door. The PA system came to life once more. "Thank you for following the instructions," the voice said. "For that, you have been awarded ten minutes time to prepare before entering the room. Once you are finished preparing, or time has run out, please proceed to the first phase of your punishment."
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"Nope." by
on 2016-10-20 00:38:19 UTC
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The Guardsman retrieved his broken RA and started zapping it with his laser screwdriver. "Rule number one: never play fair. Those Suvians aren't playing fair so props to them, I guess, but I'm not gonna start waltzing into their stupid traps."
"Same," said Naya as she fished some extra RA components from her suit pockets. "Besides, ten minutes is a long time."
The Guardsman grinned. "So you know that door is gonna open in two minutes, right?"
Behind her visor, Naya grinned as well. "Better work fast, then," she said as she handed the components to her partner.
-
"No," the voice said. The RA exploded again. by
on 2016-10-20 02:45:37 UTC
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Then, the remains disintegrated, and a fan emerged from a hatch in the ceiling. It turned on, blew the dust away, turned off, then retreated back into the ceiling. The hatch closed, then disappeared as if it had never been. There was the sound of another hatch opening, and behind the agents, a machine gun descended from the ceiling and aimed itself at the pair. The door in front of the swung open.
"Please enter the room now."
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"Fine, jeez." by
on 2016-10-20 23:42:13 UTC
Link to this
The DIA agents both made a rude gesture to the machine gun turret and drew their weapons. Naya quickly peeked inside before slowly entering the room with her pistol at the ready. The Guardsman followed close behind, surveying the new area warily.
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The room was dark. by
on 2016-10-22 20:35:32 UTC
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Not completely dark, for there was a faint red glow coming from nowhere in particular, but it didn't extend very far past the door. It revealed that the floor and the wall around the door were stone, covered in some kind of sticky, white substance that hung in strands from the walls and covered the floor. It occasionally lumped together, forming a kind of large boulder, and there were stone columns that looked like they had been carved by humanoid hands.
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((Better?)) (nm) (nm) by
on 2016-10-16 20:55:44 UTC
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((A little note.)) by
on 2016-10-16 20:23:28 UTC
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((It's considered poor form for your narration to directly influence another author's characters-- it tends to limit the options available to the one on the receiving end and could be considered railroading an action. If you don't mind, I'll respond to a slightly tweaked version of your prompt after supper.
It's seafood soup and so requires constant supervision. Still, yum.))
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The Agents realized... by
on 2016-10-16 18:36:20 UTC
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That This is Halloween should be playing over the PA
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Apecian and Michael were sitting in the waiting room. by
on 2016-10-16 17:53:43 UTC
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Apecian was sitting back in his chair, hands behind his head, while Michael filled out the seemingly endless paperwork. Suddenly, the lights cut out. There was complete darkness for a moment before the emergency lights turned on, and when they did, the room was not the same as it had been before. Apecian picked up his hammer, which had been lying on the floor, while Michael pulled out a pair of pink-tinted glasses from his pocket and put them on.
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A laughter was heard. by
on 2016-10-16 17:56:15 UTC
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It was soft and childlike, and creepy at that. It originated from the hall.
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The Homunculus glanced at his partner. "Think we should check it out?" he asked. by
on 2016-10-16 18:02:42 UTC
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Michael was for a moment before replying. "I would say that our only other choice is to wait here and see what happens, and I believe that that would not be wise. Let us go."
He began to walk towards the hall, but stopped when his partner said, "Hey, remember adventuring procedure? Barbarian always goes first." He took his place in front of the Michael, then the two carefully crept into the hall.
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The corridor that greeted them... by
on 2016-10-16 20:28:15 UTC
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Was hardly what anyone would call "welcoming" even by PPC standards. Either side of the hall was lined with upright coffins with their lids slightly ajar. Zombie-like moaning reverberated through the hall, which was dimly illuminated by the red emergency lighting.
Slightly more worrisome was the large shadow looming at the end of the corridor. The sound of its breathing undercut the zombie moans-- the combination of which was a positively spine tingling noise.
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Apecian blinked. by
on 2016-10-16 22:02:24 UTC
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"What on earth happened to Medical?"
"I don't know," Michael replied. "However, I am regretting our decision to enter this hallway. Perhaps we should turn back?"
"Aww, but then we don't get to find out what's going on!" Apecian protested.
"If we do find out, the process could kill me," the human pointed out.
"Oh. Right. Let's go back, then." The two turned to go back into the lobby.
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Except there was no lobby. by
on 2016-10-16 22:05:00 UTC
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Only more halls.
The laughing persisted.
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"I should have expected this," Michael sighed. by
on 2016-10-16 22:15:37 UTC
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"It looks like there's no choice but to press forward."
"Awesome!" his partner cheered. "Follow me and watch me smash things!" He cheerfully started walking towards the shadow at the end of the corridor, and the Oculator followed him, looking around and beginning to become slightly anxious.
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"Help me..." by
on 2016-10-17 01:08:02 UTC
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The moan coming from the coffins was becoming more audible now that the agents had moved forward. "Please, oh God, help me..."
Hands were reaching out from the coffins, desperately grasping at thin air.
Further ahead, the large figure started making a rustling noise. It suddenly leapt forward and scuttled towards the agents, revealing itself to be a hideously large tarantula— one the size of a small car. Its eight eyes were fixed on the agents and its pedipalps seemed to ooze with some foul liquid.
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"Spiders? That's not very creative, now is it?" by
on 2016-10-17 01:25:08 UTC
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Apecian shook his head. "Come on, give us something fun," he muttered. "Hey! You! Person who looks like a spider! What do you want?"
Michael, meanwhile, was looking at the coffins. They were crying out, they needed help! He couldn't just leave was whatever inside to die. But what if it was dangerous? He considered, then decided to wait. If they could take out the spider, he could help them, but he wouldn't risk unleashing something just as or more dangerous than the spider that they already faced before they were ready to deal with it.
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'Heeeeeey, bud.' by
on 2016-10-17 09:38:25 UTC
Link to this
It tilted its head and twitched its pedipalps, which dripped and glistened horribly in the faint lighting. A thin, bony hand, skin tight and coloured like old parchment, dotted and lined with the dusty marks of aeons past, blindly reached out towards the spider. It was a split second of noises - crashing, squelching. A great howl reverberating through the corridor. A horrible, fleshy scent of iron. A huge, hairy blur, clouds of choking dust rolling through the air. Then, the spider dropped the leaking, ripped remains of the arm to the floor. The entity inside the coffin had enough of the situation, and was giving the world the silent treatment.
'Found me in a baaaaaad space, bud.' It skittered closer, eight eyes staring right ahead. There was dust and blood gleaming on its mandibles 'Listen, listen. Listen listen listen. Can you do a favour? Can you do me a favour, bud?'
((Watch as I descend into faux-Lovecrafty purple prose... And, trust me, it's horror. Trust me. Give it a moment.))
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"You just tore off that thing's arm," the Homunculus pointed out. by
on 2016-10-17 17:27:31 UTC
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"Do you really think that whatever you're gonna ask is gonna be something we'll get on board with? 'Cause we'll listen, but I don't think we're gonna like what we hear." Apecian got his hammer ready to smash the spider just in case, and Michael switched out his pink glasses for another pair.
-
'Whoa, whoa!' by
on 2016-10-17 22:13:02 UTC
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'What do they teach you kiddies these days, huh?' The spider backed off slightly. 'Those things are hooooorible, bud. They'd rip a big spider like me right down the middle. They'd rip you, too, bud.'
'Now, listen. Hear me out. It's reasonable. I'm reasonable, bud, believe me.' It looked from Apecian to Michael. 'I don't need much. Not much at all.' I just need a little thingy.'
It started steadily approaching, again.
'A face. Not my filthy, Jurassic one. A real one. A - a human one, fleshy and warm and squishy and moist and evolved. That's all I want. Just one little face. One little evolved face.'
It rubbed its pedipalps together and twitched.
'That's not unreasonable, huh, bud?'
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"You're way bigger than they are. How are they gonna shred you? And why ya want a face?" (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 23:24:28 UTC
Link to this
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'Please. Please. Please.' by
on 2016-10-18 07:03:34 UTC
Link to this
The spider began stepping forward. Its pedipalps glistened wetly. A drip of oozing blood trickled from a mandible, dropping to the floor.
'It's so old. So old. So old and hideous.'
Its steps were large and shaky. The eight eyes, glinting in the emergency lights, darted in all directions. There was a sweet, sticky, alien stench. It was bearing down like a collapsing wall.
'I want to evolve, I want to evolve, let me evolve, I want to evolve. The flies grow stale, the webs grow weak, I want to evolve, I want to evolve, I want to evolve. Can't you see how horrible it is?'
-
"Got a knife?" Apecian asked the spider. by
on 2016-10-18 23:38:46 UTC
Link to this
"Apecian!" Michael cried, turning his attention to his partner.
"What?" the Homunculus asked, looking at the human.
"You can't be serious!" he protested. "You're seriously going to... to cut your head off and toss it to the spider?"
"Why not? I mean, I've been incinerated, drained by a vampire repeatedly, stabbed in various vital organs, crushed by falling object, been a falling object, and a couple other things I'm forgetting right now, and I've taken some of your wounds. What's a head more?" Apecian asked.
"I... you..."
"My head, your head, spider's head. You really want to get in a fight with the monster spider?" Neither of them were paying any attention to the monster while they were talking to each other.
-
Ajax had taken Levy to Medical... by
on 2016-10-16 15:32:13 UTC
Link to this
...And was now standing cross-armed beside the door of the examining room. It was the monthly checkup, and the Nurse had reached that part of the examination, so now he was waiting until they were done with it.
It was at that time the lights flickered, before going out completely. When the red back up lights came on Ajax turned to the door, hesitating for a moment before barging in.
What did he see?
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He saw... by
on 2016-10-16 16:57:02 UTC
Link to this
...a large room that was most definitely not the examination room that the Nurse and his partner were in a few moments ago. It appears to be a large warehouse-like space lined with large shelves laden with bulging packages. There's some lighting in the room— large neon strips near the ceiling fill the room with a frigid, flat white light.
Straight ahead, there is a door much like the one leading to the examination room. Screaming sounds can be heard behind it.
Figures are moving in between the shelving units... maybe. It could be your imagination, however.
Far to the left, there is a man slumped against the wall. He's dressed in medical scrubs and doesn't appear to be conscious.
Bonus things to add in the response:
a) opening a package.
b) investigating the movement.
c) approaching the man.
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Ajax approaches the man. by
on 2016-10-16 17:15:14 UTC
Link to this
"Are you okay sir?" He says, reaching out to him
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The man in the scrubs slumped forward. by
on 2016-10-16 17:40:53 UTC
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In fact, it wasn't a man— just a pile of clothing laid out as if someone had mysteriously disappeared while wearing them. How strange— it definitely looked as if there was a person slumped against the wall.
Behind Ajax, there is the faint sound of laughter. The faint screaming from behind the door at the far end of the room continues.
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Ajax pivots to face the laughter by
on 2016-10-16 17:52:33 UTC
Link to this
Simultaneously summoning his scythe, swinging it with intent to kill.
Does it connect? What does he see? Does he recognize the the screams?
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Nothing happens. by
on 2016-10-16 17:58:02 UTC
Link to this
The laughter continues in the distance. There seems to be more movement between the shelves now— and one might almost make out a head or a set of eyes glinting through the packages. Of course, it could always be the lighting playing tricks on the eyes... but speaking of the lights, the neons have noticeably dimmed over the past few seconds and have started flickering. Something tells Ajax that they won't stay on for long.
The screams— which have now stopped— seem familiar.
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Ajax turned to face the door by
on 2016-10-16 18:31:29 UTC
Link to this
Realization hitting him like a ton of bricks.
"LEVY!" He shouted, breaking into a sprint. His Talaria flapped to life at his feet, making each stride longer, speed increasing with each flap.
He opened the door just as the lights flickered out, but what sight greeted him?
-
The sight of the examination room greeted the agent. by
on 2016-10-16 18:38:56 UTC
Link to this
It looked exactly like before— except there was a large oil-painting portrait of Levy standing on an easel in the middle of the room. It was surrounded by ornate wreaths, flowers, and little candles.
The Nurse, who had been standing off to the side up until now, gently closed the door behind Ajax. "I'm sorry, but I did all I could."
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"Im-impossible," Ajax said. by
on 2016-10-16 21:20:30 UTC
Link to this
He fell to his knees, and looked at the painting. She was smiling. That one smile that always seemed to say "I'm here. Everything is going to be okay."
"H-how?" He asked. "She was just here. Nothing was wrong. Nothing." He turned to the nurse, his blue eye glowing. "HOW?!" He yelled, a blue wave of energy erupting from his body. The flowers wilted, and all the medical supplies dissolved into water.
Levy couldn't move. She could see, but everything looked like it was a moving oil-painting. She could tell that it was a memorial, the flowers and the candles being a dead giveaway. She could see Ajax collapsed in front of her, his mouth moving. Apparently she couldn't hear either.
His blue eye flared to life, signifying the activation of his active skill, Double Attack Stance-Wt. He stood up, pivoting on his feet and setting the outer edge of the scythe blade on the Nurse's throat. She wanted to do something to tell him she was here. She wanted to tell him she was alive. She tried to focus.
The chain like detail on the frame of the oil-painting glowed blue, and another blue wave erupted from the painting. The Fire on the candles became water, and what little light there was became calm and inviting.
The Sacred Blue Chains
Ajax let out a sigh of relief. Bringing the scythe behind him, he prepared to swing to swing. "You have ten seconds to explain that."
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"Too late." by
on 2016-10-17 00:43:28 UTC
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"Too late," gurgled the Nurse as he, for lack of a better word, evaporated into smoke.
Three of the four walls of the room suddenly turned transparent, revealing rows upon rows of seats occupied by figures in white robes. One of them stood up, checked its clipboard, adjusted its glasses, and pointed towards Ajax. "Attend to your patient, please. She doesn't have much time," it said. "Don't mind us, we'll just take notes." And with that, the figure sat down and watched the agent, eagerly waiting for something to happen in the operating theatre.
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Ajax walked out of the theater. by
on 2016-10-17 01:03:48 UTC
Link to this
"What patient?" He swung his scythe in their direction, a wave of energy cutting through each of them. "All I see is a memorial to my dead friend." He picked up the painting trapping Levy and left the room through a door.
The image of Levy disappeared with the slam of the door. A sly smirk plastered on her face and the thought of good one Ajax being the last thought.
The PA blared to life: "Stay calm. Expect rescue within 18 hours. Happy Halloween."
((The PAD Board created by Ajax and Levy allowed Ajax to cut through the figures, so It won't happen again))
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He found himself in a short, white hallway, at the other end of which was another door. (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 01:28:32 UTC
Link to this
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Ajax approached the white door (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 01:30:58 UTC
Link to this
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The door was Generic, and the handle was made of some kind of metal that was cool to the touch. by
on 2016-10-17 01:33:38 UTC
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Through it, Ajax could hear the sounds of a group of people murmuring.
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Ajax was Genre Savvy enough to avoid the door completely (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 01:37:04 UTC
Link to this
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"Did you hear that just now?" by
on 2016-10-17 01:47:21 UTC
Link to this
The small squad of DIA agents froze and listened to the footsteps receding from the door. One of the agents, a tall Eldar woman, shook her head. "Must've been one of those apparitions," she said shortly. "There's no way we're opening that door."
"Yeah, good idea," said another DIA officer. "Though I think it's odd that we haven't come across any other agents or patients or anything. I mean, where are they?"
"No idea. Keep moving and push towards the ICU."
"Yes ma'am."
((Just for some additional perspective.))
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Ajax looked around, trying to find another exit. by
on 2016-10-17 01:44:14 UTC
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There wasn't one. Behind him, there was only the door he had taken to leave the theatre. In front of him, there was only the door he had already examined. Between the doors was only only a blank white hallway. No more exits. It was one way or the other.
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Ajax fished around in his pocket. by
on 2016-10-17 01:49:51 UTC
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He brought out his RA. He contemplated completely leaving the Plot Hole, but then he remembered Levy. So instead he left for other locations in Medical.
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Unfortunately, the RA didn't know how to handle the warped space Medical was not inhabiting. by
on 2016-10-17 01:54:32 UTC
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It dropped him straight into a cold, empty room, with no doors, and no windows.
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Ajax teleported into out of the room by
on 2016-10-17 02:01:13 UTC
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This time he landed into a space a tad more workable: a creepy corridor
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It was a very familiar creepy corridor. by
on 2016-10-17 02:05:06 UTC
Link to this
In fact, it was the one he had teleported out of when he had ended up in the empty room. Okay, so now he had three choices. The room behind him, the room in front of him, or the room that the RA would take him to.
-
"In the wise words of my partner: Viva La Truck you." by
on 2016-10-17 02:09:59 UTC
Link to this
"I'm not dealing with this FFXIII bull crap." with that, he teleported out, finding himself in an expansive corridor with several doors.
-
The corridor was really more of a room. by
on 2016-10-17 02:21:49 UTC
Link to this
The doors were evenly spaced from one another, and they were all exactly identical. "One of these doors will take you out of this place," a cool, pleasant voice said. "That door would be this one." One of the doors glowed blue for a moment, before returning to its Generic Grey. "The rest of the doors will lead you to your certain doom. Now, watch carefully." The doors then began to switch places with each other, like cups in a shell game, only much, much more quickly than any human could move them. They were almost impossible to follow. Suddenly, they stopped. "Choose," the voice said.
-
Ajax focused himself for a moment. by
on 2016-10-17 18:47:17 UTC
Link to this
His abilities as a representation of the Greek God Hermes guiding his decision. He quickly found the correct door and entered it.
-
There was an acrid stench of bitter acid rolling in from the room. by
on 2016-10-18 06:01:03 UTC
Link to this
It was oppressively hot and humid. The walls glistened with sticky liquid, and the floor was softly bumpy. The red emergency lights shone, sludgy, off the bumpy, veiny, pink surfaces constructing the room. Fleshy walls ran far ahead, sloping downwards, until they were absorbed into total, noisome blackness. With an odious moaning of wind, a scalding breeze blew harshly in from the shadows. Only slightly ahead - one step away from the hard, cold floor of Generic Surface - the floor moved and writhed, a single, colossal entity. It was a tongue.
-
Ajax slammed the door shut. by
on 2016-10-18 11:52:28 UTC
Link to this
"Great," Ajax said, moving to another door. "Let's try this again."
-
When he opened the next door, all was silent for a moment. by
on 2016-10-19 00:03:29 UTC
Link to this
Then, a whistling sound could be heard, coming from deep within the corridor beyond the door. It grew louder and louder, the source seeming to grow closer and closer, until it was obvious that the sound was coming from the innumerable daggers flying straight at the agent.
-
Another door slammed shut. by
on 2016-10-19 20:47:36 UTC
Link to this
As the pitter patter of Daggers lodging themselves into the door filled the room Ajax yelled out "I'm guessing there's not correct door?"
-
A note randomly appeared on the floor. by
on 2016-10-19 20:59:29 UTC
Link to this
It read,
There's only one right door, but the right door isn't a the safe door. You're not getting out of this so easily. :P
Your- Aw, can't I spoil it for him? No? Fine.- Your Random Helpful Stranger, A.
For some reason, the note had random things like butterflies, rainbows, and severed heads littering it.
-
Ajax outstretched a finger, and a bird made of bright purple energy appeared on it. by
on 2016-10-19 21:22:29 UTC
Link to this
A similarly colored chain connected the note to the bird, binding the note in a purple flame. It took off, finding the correct door and landed on it's doorknob. The bird dissipated as Ajax placed his hand on the knob
((It's in his art))
-
The agent found himself staring down the throat of the enormous beast once more. by
on 2016-10-19 21:35:59 UTC
Link to this
Once more he felt the incredible heat and humidity of the air, saw the slime coating the walls, and could stare deep into the depths of the monster's throat. There was only one thing different about the room: One of the emergency lights burned gold.
-
Ajax froze the saliva coating the walls, immobilizing the tongue. by
on 2016-10-19 21:41:39 UTC
Link to this
He stepped back, bringing his Talaria to life. He ran in the room, jumping for the emergency light and grabbing on, or at least hovered close to it.
-
The whole room shuddered, and the tongue seemed to writhe, reflecting the monster's pain. by
on 2016-10-19 21:53:11 UTC
Link to this
A giggling sound could be heard coming from the golden light. Then, some kind of glow seemed to wash over Ajax, then over the tongue. It was warm, like fire, and when it reached the frozen saliva, the ice melted.
-
Imagine Guren no Yumiya playing as Ajax's blue eye glowed. by
on 2016-10-19 22:16:11 UTC
Link to this
Because he sure as hell was invoking it when he used his scythe to cut the beast's tongue off. "Sorry big guy." He then plunged the head into the floor of the mouth, awaiting it's impending scream.
-
The emergency light seemed to giggle again. by
on 2016-10-19 22:39:12 UTC
Link to this
A rumble began, and a noise sounded, growing louder and louder until it nearly burst Ajax's eardrums. The sound grew more and more powerful until, when it finally reached the mouth, it blasted the door open and threw Ajax back out into the circular room. The door slammed shut again with the force of its recoil, then blasted open again, repeating this several times until the roar finally died away and the door was left closed.
-
PPC reading recordings (content of recordings is NSFW) by
on 2016-10-17 00:18:00 UTC
Link to this
Ok, so I've got a series of reading recordings that I figure I should post.
Most of these are at least somewhat NSFW (usually because of the contents of the thing being read). They're also a bit big.
So the one everyone's been waiting for (or not) is the reading (mp3, ~150 MB) of Blood Raining Night (both NSFW and NSFB). (If you don't feel like opening that, try Neshomeh's mission (NSFW) instead?)
For a (partial) cast list:
- Neshomeh was the narrator, a waitress, and the announcer at the singing contest
- Iximaz was Reicheru, God, Kagome, and a racist guy
- Aegis was Inuyasha and Alucard
- Matt Cipher was Sesshomaru, Minna, and Denmark
- Cat-on-the-Keyboard was Korra, but then Scapegrace had to take over
- And Scapegrace was almost certainly anyone I didn't mention above
There's also a few recordings of other things that people have read to chat. These don't have my (occasional) comments because I hadn't figured out how to record both my voice and the chat simultaneously when I made them.
This reading (~ 30 MB) contains SkarmorySilver's reading (I think someone else might have taken a part) of the prelude to "Connecting the Dots", one of his missions (I'm pretty sure it's more or less SFW)
Then, we have a two-for-one reading (~100 MB). It starts with the second half (more-or-less) of Scapegrace's reading of a Gabrielle and Trollenfisch mission (NSFW) (Iximaz played Gabrielle). Then, we have Data (and some other people) reading a MST of "Harry Potter and the Surprise Package (... yeah, also NSF(W/B)).
These are completely unedited, contain bad jokes and snarky comments, and may contain periods of silence for no apparent reason. NOTE: Google doesn't like these, you'll need to download them. -
Ah Blood Raining night by
on 2016-10-17 14:33:00 UTC
Link to this
You terrible piece of literature you. I can not listen to it now but I am betting the 'hentai' chapters where hard to get through.
-
*pokes* Scape was Denmark. I was a witch. (nm) by
on 2016-10-17 07:09:00 UTC
Link to this
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Dangit! XD by
on 2016-10-17 00:31:00 UTC
Link to this
Now I feel compelled to finish live reading the mission part of "Connecting the Dots", but schedule problems aaaaaa! X'D
Anyway, saving all of these for later! And, uh, how interested would you guys be in tuning in for the live reading of the rest of my mission (Or, if my schedule doesn't give me time to power through it, "The Green Maul" instead)?
-
Republican office firebombed in North Carolina. by
on 2016-10-17 02:19:00 UTC
Link to this
Read about it here.
To quote my dad quoting Brave upon hearing the news:
Trump then called the perpetrators "animals" because that's... that's just what he does. *sigh* The War-Queen will be holed up in her tent in the center of her army encampment. Approach only if you have ice cream.
-Alleb
((OT: anyone else having their ellipses cut down to two periods when you post?)) -
Goodness Gracious by
on 2016-10-19 00:02:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm glad to hear nobody was hurt.
-
That's awful. by
on 2016-10-17 18:18:00 UTC
Link to this
I hope whoever did this is caught and brought to justice - that's unbelievable and utterly unacceptable in a nation that has
alwaysalmost alwaysat least most of the time given lip service to free political speech.
On the bright side, at least no one was hurt. -
Trump ALSO said... by
on 2016-10-17 14:02:00 UTC
Link to this
In that selfsame tweet, I might add, that it was "Animals representing Hillary Clinton". I'd like to point out that there is a federal investigation into the matter and, while it is ongoing, so far there have been no links uncovered to Hillary Clinton or her party. That the perpetrators don't like Donald Trump is not grounds for suggesting, quite dangerously, that Clinton's supporters are behind this; despising Donald Trump merely indicates higher brain function rather than outright political affiliation.
Look, however understandable I might personally find flinging a Molotov at a building connected to both a racist tangerine with some roadkill spaghetti on top AND a man who stole money from disaster relief programs to pay for a ridiculous transphobic "bathroom bill" (Pat McCrory, as any fule kno), this isn't the way forward. The Democrats have the presidential election in the bag, the Republicans are having to retool their entire strategy in order to get the GOP faithful to vote down-ticket (weeks before an election and after early voting has started), and so I consider it entirely unnecessary and completely stupid, regardless of the fact that nobody was hurt in the incident. All this does is fuel Trump's ramblings about a vast, unknowable conspiracy arrayed against him and Real America(TM) and play into his narratives surrounding the rigging of this election. This will make Trump-supporting "poll-watchers" (read: bloated, grubby little fascists) feel entirely justified in engaging in voter intimidation - and since this is American fascism we're talking about, the Trumpists are going to show up armed to the teeth.
This was a stupid, violent act and I hope that the people behind it are brought to justice. I also hope that this doesn't get in the way of people realizing that a Trump presidency is far more dangerous than any of the alternatives. Yes, including Gary Johnston and Jill Stein; they're both too stupid to be President, though for entirely different reasons (Jill thinks vaccines cause autism and Wi-Fi causes brain cancer, Gaz doesn't think... at all, as far as I've been able to make out). -
Interestingly enough... by
on 2016-10-17 15:53:00 UTC
Link to this
...while it's not been proven that Wi-Fi causes brain cancer, it is known that some individuals are physically affected by sources of EM radiation— a phenomenon known as 'Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity' (EMH). I recall the case of an office worker who had a microwave antenna bolted outside his office window; after several years of working there, he got head-splitting migraines whenever he was exposed to a strong EM field. The poor man couldn't even keep a radio running in the background because it felt like he was itching all over.
-
The end of the WHO article says: by
on 2016-10-17 16:10:00 UTC
Link to this
Conclusions
"EHS is characterized by a variety of non-specific symptoms that differ from individual to individual. The symptoms are certainly real and can vary widely in their severity. Whatever its cause, EHS can be a disabling problem for the affected individual. EHS has no clear diagnostic criteria and there is no scientific basis to link EHS symptoms to EMF exposure. Further, EHS is not a medical diagnosis, nor is it clear that it represents a single medical problem."
So there's no specific set of symptoms, no clear way to diagnose it, and no scientific evidence linking it to EM radiation... that sounds more like people attributing random afflictions to something obvious around them, to me. It's possible it's an actual effect, but - unless there's been more recent research - I'm far from convinced.
(And either way, nerve/sensation-related effects don't have anything to do with cancer. ^_~)
hS -
As for the whole "vaccines and autism" thing... by
on 2016-10-17 15:03:00 UTC
Link to this
I am happy to report that "SafeMinds", the anti-vaccine activists, funded a study to prove their point. With them giving the money, the research was supposed to be free of any sort of manipulation and corruption...
.
.
.
.
It backfired at them spectacularly, as the research showed a link between autism and vaccines does not exist. -
Presumably... by
on 2016-10-17 15:42:00 UTC
Link to this
... in accordance with their clear dedication to the weight of scientific evidence, they have now entirely reversed their message and are firmly (if not enthusiastically) stating that no, vaccines don't cause autism, and that there's no evidence they're bad and lots that they're good?
No? ... no?
(For my money, the best part of the story is that they're investigating what went wrong, because the initial reports they heard suggested there was a link. Because that's how science works, right? The vague ideas you draw after a week always pan out into solid data three years down the line? Right? Right?!?!?)
hS -
Not really... by
on 2016-10-17 17:36:00 UTC
Link to this
Now SafeMinds are quite irritated. They've stated that the media that wrote about their failure "didn't understand their goal". They also claim they will try and look for any sort of error in the study.
As for the other part - it started with some outdated and imprecise research that claimed that only partially suggested that vaccines may be harmful. -
I don't think I need to say that this is not science. by
on 2016-10-18 00:43:00 UTC
Link to this
Science is not coming up with a hypothesis, and making the evidence support your ideas.
Correct me if I'm wrong please. -
Oh look, Fun™ across the ocean! by
on 2016-10-17 12:02:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm glad nobody was hurt.
-
Ugh. by
on 2016-10-17 09:05:00 UTC
Link to this
Proof, if any was needed*, that there are awful people on both sides of any debate.
*No proof was needed.
I'm glad no-one was hurt. I hope there's no retaliatory violence.
hS -
Well, that's... not acceptable. by
on 2016-10-17 06:31:00 UTC
Link to this
Hopefully they find
and shootthe perpetrators.
(...I thought Trump didn't believe in evolution, so why's he calling them "animals"? :-p) -
*Shakes head* by
on 2016-10-17 05:29:00 UTC
Link to this
Otherwise, Hello, Alleb.
-
Yikes! Why didn't I hear about this?? by
on 2016-10-17 02:46:00 UTC
Link to this
I hate them as much as any Democrat, but that doesn't mean I want their offices firebombed!
Glad no one was killed or injured, at least.
-
Paging Tira and Tesla - URGENT by
on 2016-10-17 03:06:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks to some unfortunate scheduling conflicts, two people who were going to play Pathfinder with us--DCCCV and K'eth--aren't available. I just checked Voyd's original interest check post and saw your names on it. If either (or both!) of you still wants to play, PLEASE reply with your email so I can give it to the group and we can talk to you.
-
My Email by
on 2016-10-17 17:55:00 UTC
Link to this
Just email me at ppctesla@gmail.com :)
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Here's my email by
on 2016-10-17 04:12:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to attend, but my email should be clickable.
-
A question for the Bleach fans. by
on 2016-10-17 23:11:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm working on a mission involving the Bleach continuum, and I've found a bit character who's a (hilariously underpowered) Bount, which I'm told is an artificial entity who feeds on the souls of humans, kinda like a Dementor. While this Bount is passable as a character, the Stu of the fic killed him quite graphically and left his body behind (Granz says the Bounts don't leave behind bodies). The thing is, a couple of people and I were debating whether to have him somehow assimilate into canon (by depowering him, as Bounts were originally human and seem to be quite rare), or have him recruited and put up for adoption (which means someone will have to try to get him to work as his character, complete with story arc).
I'm honestly not sure how to handle this, and I could definitely use a second opinion. Both options present their own difficulties, though what's obvious is that he needs a trip to Medical first. So, um, which one is it gonna be, then? -
Never mind by
on 2016-10-18 00:46:00 UTC
Link to this
The Discord chat pretty much unanimously voted against recruitment. Forget I asked anything, sorry. :(
-
On the Subject of the Bount by
on 2016-10-17 23:23:00 UTC
Link to this
I think it would be fun to have him recruited and put up for adoption. He seems like he'd be a fun character to write, and I'm sure someone from the Bleach fandom will come along and fall completely in love with him and give him a good home in HQ. :)
-
Like I said, though... by
on 2016-10-17 23:28:00 UTC
Link to this
I too am pro-recruitment, but several others have asked whether such a move is really necessary. His nature alone would probably present at a few issues. Like I said, he's a soul vampire, and the risk of absorbing too much glitter is always there. If written well, it could result in a neat story with a bit of an existential crisis, but that's a very big if.
Granz suggested the possibility of the guy actually wanting to become human, and now that I think of it I do see its potential (and oooh, what if it ends up working in tandem with the fear of the glitter OD?). I still maintain that's a bit of a stretch, though, seeing as there isn't any evidence AFAIK of a Bount becoming 100% human in canon.
-
Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at the PPC Part XXVI by
on 2016-10-19 15:11:00 UTC
Link to this
There were years for new ideas to come up with, I'm sure we have funny things which could make it to this list.
On another note, and following an idea mentionned on Discord, people can also vote for an 'Infinite Edition' of TINATDATPPC, namely a wiki page open for editing forever and a 'final' page for it. Mention your opinion here, even if you don't have any idea for the list at the moment.
And, without furtherr ado, some ideas I got for a more or less long time:
*Harry Dresden must never be brought near the DoSAT to see what happens.
** Even if the ensuing mayhem is a great view.
***Seriously, don't do this. The Techies will have your head.
** Don't trick him to come close intensive care too. Even the First Law won't protect you.
* I won't try to get in a stare contest with a Dresdenverse practicioner of magic.
** If they're fic characters, the money needed by FicPsych to deal with their memories will come from my pocket.
** If they're agents... I hope they have got humour.
***And run away once i collected myself.
* I won't switch anyone's DS or smartphone with a COMP.
** If I do it, I'm on my own to deal with the ensuing demonic invasion.
* I won't try elevator jokes with Elizabeth and Theodore.
** Limousine jokes with Margaret are also out of question.
*** Jail jokes with Caroline and Justine shouldn't be done either.
**** Seriously, don't make fun of Velvet Room attendants.
* I won't try to repaint the Velvet Room.
** Especially if I try to use glittery paint.
* Forcing people to read Marie's poems is a form of torture, and is henceforth forbidden.
** Besides, the Sues just love them.
* Trying to shoot people wth an Evoker to see what happens is a Bad Idea.
** Especially if FicPsych patients are targeted.
* I won't organize a meat eater competition between Chie Satonaka and Akihiko Sanada.
** There is no country who can afford the meat they would eat.
* I won't punch Philemon.
** Even if he deserved it.
*** Actually, he didn't have much of a choice...
**** *flame war*
*I won't put together two genderbent versions of a character to see what happens. Results are clear.
* Playing at 'He loves me... he loves me not' with the Marquis is a bad idea.
** Even if I get a 'He loves me' result. -
We want an infinite list of pop cultural references, by
on 2016-10-27 07:47:00 UTC
Link to this
some of which may be funny?
I feel like it may be somewhat redundant to create a miniature internet within the internet, but, sure, I guess. Maybe we'll get into one've those world record books.
*I will never again make a joke that can stand on its own two legs.
**If I do, my arms will be cut off on the spot.
***OH STEVE IRWIN MY ARMS
*I will never swear on Steve Irwin, otherwise my arms will get cut off.
**OH WINSTON CHURCHILL MY OTHER ARMS -
Re. an Infinite Edition... by
on 2016-10-21 23:38:00 UTC
Link to this
I did once try to condense the lists (the ones that existed at the time, which were plenty) down into a categorized, redundancy-free version. I got burned out on that pretty quickly, let me tell you, but you can have the progress I did make as a starting-point, if you like. I still have the Notepad file.
~Neshomeh -
Would an Infinite Edition mean an end to the Board threads? by
on 2016-10-27 04:46:00 UTC
Link to this
For me, reading though wiki archives is way less fun than the discussions onBoard. . . I don't know why, since they're pretty much the same content (I guess I'm a social person? Or something; Social/Emotional Health is one of only two school subjects I've ever flunked). But yeah, I'm against the Infinite version if that would be the case, since it would kill the fun of it for me.
And. . . my contribution:
*I am not allowed to sweep my partner into a passionate osculation unless I am absolutely certain she/he/they/xie/etc. wishe(s) it.
**I am allowed to comb the dictionary for obscure words with the specific intent of confusing people.
***But no one will like me afterwards
--Key -
I have some ideas. by
on 2016-10-21 02:58:00 UTC
Link to this
-No matter how much you think the Flowers deserve punishment, all Internet-enabled devices in Headquarters are and will forever be blocked from visiting Hell Correspondence. Trust us; they have more than enough problems without getting dragged into HQ.
-Minis are not acceptable forms of currency in the General Store or Rook Takes Pawnshop.
-There are no acceptable reasons for a stampede through the halls barring an actual emergency.
--Not even if freshly-baked cookies, alcohol, Elves in swimwear, or cute baby animals are involved.
/is tired -
A Very Random Idea by
on 2016-10-20 23:02:00 UTC
Link to this
*I will not, under any circumstances, paint anything with fake Sue glitter as a prank
**Even if the reaction of those being pranked would be hilarious
***Seriously, it's not a good idea -
Here's some more! by
on 2016-10-20 22:39:00 UTC
Link to this
* Shiro Turbo and Saki Cherryflower are NOT the result of a secret project about cloning veteran agents, or anything of the sort. Stop spreading this rumor.
** The Marquis has reassured us that the PPC is not that desperate for recruits yet.
*** Besides, we're pretty sure he wouldn't have wanted another Agent Turbo. -
A bunch of the ones I remember from the chat. by
on 2016-10-20 19:47:00 UTC
Link to this
* I will not attempt to soulgaze a Flower.
* I will not tell newbie Agents that World One is flat.
* I will not ask newbie Agents to fetch some electricity powder from Building Maintenance.
** I will not get actual electricity powder from Buiding Maintenance. -
Re: Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at the PPC Part XXVI by
on 2016-10-20 19:28:00 UTC
Link to this
*A lasgun is not actually a flashlight. Do not shine it into your eyes.
**Similarly, do not give it to your partner and tell them to light up the room with it.
*No opening portals into the Warp.
**I understand that I will be the one to clean up the mess afterwards.
*The Nuclear Throne is not something I want to sit on.
*Bandanas do not equal infinite ammo.
*I will not try to sell Goddess Icons to Harris Frost. His luck stat is already capped.
*"It's a social experiment!" is not a valid excuse for replacing my partner's morning coffee with decaf.
*Suvian munitions make for terrible trophies/souvenirs due to their inherent instability. We all know what happened to Agent Thorpe last weekend.
*Entering the Gungeon is a terrible idea.
**I will not seek the Gun That Can Kill the Past to get revenge on my Department Head. -
Ooh, I've got one! by
on 2016-10-20 14:05:00 UTC
Link to this
- You are not allowed, even in casual conversation, to tell any agents who know Steven Universe that they should ship Lapis/Jasper. Nothing good can come from such a proposal on any level.
-- God help you if you tell ANYONE that they should ship any World One celebrity with another. Different reason, same result.
- You are not allowed, even in casual conversation, to tell any agents who know Steven Universe that they should ship Lapis/Jasper. Nothing good can come from such a proposal on any level.
-
>I am not allowed to drop Aragorn... by
on 2016-10-20 04:11:00 UTC
Link to this
...in Robin Hood: Men in Tights just to see what happens. He's not that kind of ranger.
>>That goes double for Power Rangers. -
More stuff! by
on 2016-10-20 04:06:00 UTC
Link to this
>I am not allowed to shoot bullets at Homura Akemi from various distances in order to figure out how quickly she can react to them.
>>If I do try and do so, I accept that shortly thereafter, I will have several bullets buried in several lethal places. I may also explode.
>>In fact, I am not allowed to shoot any form of projectile at any canon in order to determine their reaction times.
>Speaking of prison jokes, I will not make them around Bastille Dartmoor.
>>Seriously, have you seen what she can do with that sword of hers? -
Thing I'm Not Allowed to Do at the PPC Part XXVIb by
on 2016-10-20 02:56:00 UTC
Link to this
I like that thought!
A couple more points to consider:
*Do not write Slorp/Luxury fics
**Even if it is totally canon
*Kylo Ren does not wear lingerie under his otufit, and we are not to imply that he does
**Especially when in a Star Wars fic
***Definitely not when Kylo is around
**Do not ask Kylo Ren if he wears lingerie under his outfit
**Or General Hux
**Or Captain Phasma
**Rey, Finn, and Poe Dameron are right out
*General Hux does not actually have an ice cream cone on him at all times
**Do not ask to see his 'ice cream cone' -
Well, by
on 2016-10-20 02:16:00 UTC
Link to this
Apparently I'm not allowed to start a cult revolving around my Mary-Sue self insert. Even if one of the sacred bylaws mentions very strongly not to kill people in my name. And even if it was a complete accident.
-
New mission! by
on 2016-10-19 19:04:00 UTC
Link to this
Bad Slash and Sues alike abound in Ix and Charlotte's newest My Little Pony mission.
-
And a mini-interlude! by
on 2016-10-20 05:14:00 UTC
Link to this
The Aviator's family pays her a visit.
-
Daww. by
on 2016-10-20 20:38:00 UTC
Link to this
Some things just don't need to be said...
Except I forward the vocal beatdown Farilann is about to take. -
Cute. by
on 2016-10-20 15:10:00 UTC
Link to this
But what does the comma do between "Mr. Dives" and "admitted"?
HG -
Fixed, thanks. :) (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 16:26:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Excellent- couple of notes. by
on 2016-10-20 13:48:00 UTC
Link to this
Overall, I thought it was a fantastic interlude. Elanor's interactions are adorable, and her parents are exactly what one would expect (I'd like to see an AU with her dad as an agent, actually). Zeb being effectively the father figure, even if he is an uncle, is the only smart decision, as magic potions make really terrible paternal figures.
Quick notes I promised-
"He cradled his granddaughter and a kiss on her cheek."
and
"The Aviator took Elanor from her monther, and. . . got her under the Aviator's shirt."
- This is a bit redundant.
Those two bits aside, you have a lovely, hearts-warming interlude.
I expect great things from Elinorelisindrivar. She's certainly got an excellent place to start. -
Awww by
on 2016-10-20 05:42:00 UTC
Link to this
So this was all-around cute and heartwarming (so if that's what you wanted, mission accomplished). I think the two bits I liked the best were the thing with the quilt and "You're not running off to become an agent."
My only complaint right now is that I'm not entirely clear on why Alex thinks that Farilan and Mrs. Dives will get along "great" (all I gathered is that he's being sarcastic, and that the meeting will be not-so-great for at least one of the parties). And on that note, I want to see that meeting! -
Ooh! by
on 2016-10-20 03:46:00 UTC
Link to this
That was a great mission- I haven't read many recently, so this was a particular delight for me. :D
Also hell yeah more casual LGBTQ+ representation I approve of this -
Aw, thanks. ^^; by
on 2016-10-20 03:49:00 UTC
Link to this
I figured, well, if Ix is a self-insert, it only made sense. Glad to know you approve. :3
-
Well, that was unexpected. by
on 2016-10-19 21:14:00 UTC
Link to this
I... guess that disguises and potential access to genderbending methods could indeed be interesting for a genderfluid character (Hello, Tedd). Honestly, I'm curious to see how it will develop.
And thanks Celestia and Luna, that thing is dead. I almost forgot how much Bad Slash could be disturbing. More lava baths, please. -
I'm still not sure how much disguises will be used. by
on 2016-10-20 03:51:00 UTC
Link to this
Then again, Laburnum/Hemlock used it quite a bit for a similar(ish) reason, so who knows?
*hands over brain bleach* Just return that when you're finished, I'm still trying to get Luna-with-male-parts out of my head... -
The irony... by
on 2016-10-27 06:29:00 UTC
Link to this
Criticizing the Sue-wraith for using magic to give herself a penis when Ix had just done the exact same thing (well, he used the Disguise Generator, but DoSAT does get its name from the fact that its gadgets are indistinguishable from magic).
*hides under table* I'm joking; I do understand that the situations were as different as could possibly be. But the narrative parallel was noticeable, making this an interesting choice of fic for the first mission with Ix as a guy.
Also, question: I don't see why Ix had to be a mare for the plan to work? Couldn't Charlotte have done it? Or why not make the Sue copy his stallion body, since clearly this isn't a fic where people have problems with random body morphing? Hasn't Ix had to deal with enough dysphoria in his life?
--Key laughed very hard at that scene, don't be mistaken. Especially the part where he hits himself and starts complaining about how much it hurt. And the bit where he did the Funky Chicken. And... -
*downs the brain bleach* Eugh... by
on 2016-10-20 19:38:00 UTC
Link to this
Incest futa, the only thing worst than futa...
How can people be attracted by things like this? -
Warning: Discussion of very NSFW things and personal tastes by
on 2016-10-21 04:37:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm not going to argue that that scene wasn't gross. And personally, incest makes my skin crawl, and I can't comprehend why anyone would want to picture a sex scene between a pair of talking cartoon horses. But it's also important to remember that YKINMK, and that going around making blanket statements about fetishes is kind of a bad idea.
I think the article linked above makes a really good point, which is that it's really important to judge something not based on how much you like or dislike a thing, especially a potentially-sexy thing, but on how good it is, objectively speaking. Does it make sense with consideration to the setting and characters? Is it well-written? In this case, the answer is objectively no on both parts, and I doubt it would ever be true with regards to the former. But if you allow your gut reaction to a kink or a pairing dominate your response, especially as a sporker, you're not really approaching it fairly.
Also, I don't really understand what's so bad about futa. Leaving aside the issue of trans or intersex characters (because that's not relevant to this specific instance, or, to be honest, most instances, of futanari porn), it's not really that different from a strap-on, except with actual sensation involved on the wielder's end. I guess maybe I'm kind of biased, because I actually do enjoy some futa-on-male doujins. Slash plus femdom? Yes, please! And frankly, even incestuous futa cartoon horses are fairly mild next to some of the things that can be found in Bleepfic. -
Answer (NSFW things warning). by
on 2016-10-21 06:19:00 UTC
Link to this
If I offended you, I apologize. I shouldn't have talked about this on the Board. I also understand the necessity of an objective critic, reason I'm not going near a badfic where I can't be objective.
Now, on futa, and that's a personal opinion, I find it involves a part of bad biology, especially if no explanations are provided, I'm not sure about why do that when strap-on exist, and for the last point... Why would male parts be needed to do femdom plus slash? I'm fan of several lesbian ships, so I'll say yes to these two points, but is the futa really necessary?
I guess my stomach isn't well habitued to the worst of fandom, and that I didn't see too much of the worst. I... guess that's a good thing?
But at the end of the day that's only a personal opinion, and there are seven billions of them here on this planet. Please don't take offense, and don't worry about this. Each people like their own thing, and, well, I guess I never saw good futa before, so there is that too, I guess. -
Another response in this NSFW part of the thread by
on 2016-10-27 07:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Because rhetorical expressions of ignorance are still expressions of ignorance.
Why would one go to all the trouble of growing a fleshy dingalingadingdong when strap-ons exist? I can think of a few reasons.
1) As Tira mentioned earlier, so that both parties can feel what's happening.
2) As in the fic, so that one party can impregnate the other. I'm not sure that's a good reason, though.
3) Some women get turned on by the idea of temporarily having a penis. People get turned on by a lot of things. Rule 34.
--Key, always trying to be helpful! -
Ehehe... by
on 2016-10-21 14:46:00 UTC
Link to this
I feel like any more explanation on the subject would be inappropriate for this locale, so I'll just clarify that by "slash" I specifically meant yaoi.
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Wait, how long has Ix been a guy? by
on 2016-10-19 20:24:00 UTC
Link to this
Did I miss something? Was this in the mass Everfree exorcism mission?
Anyway, good job handling that thing. I certainly couldn't have even read the fic, never mind doing a mission to it. -
Nah, you didn't miss anything, Eeple :). by
on 2016-10-19 21:22:00 UTC
Link to this
That's how being gender fluid works. You stop fighting which one "should" you be and just let it flow... For some time you're a female, for some time you're a male. Sometimes you don't even realize that a switch occurred until much later.
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OK, cool. Thanks for the explanation. (nm) by
on 2016-10-19 22:15:00 UTC
Link to this
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Oh dear Princesses, WHYYYYY. by
on 2016-10-19 19:32:00 UTC
Link to this
Not just a terrible clop scene, but INCEST? Among the friggin' PRINCESSES?! I'll say this right now, thank you for killing this mess of a fic. I decided it deserved to die pretty much the moment I read that part. Gross.
Also, uh...
He waited while Charlotte opened a portal before he stepped through, careful not to drop his precious cargo
Missing ending period. -
Fixed, and thank you. :) (nm) by
on 2016-10-19 19:34:00 UTC
Link to this
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Potential Wiki changes by
on 2016-10-20 02:00:00 UTC
Link to this
So when I was adding stuff on to the Wiki the other day I noticed that it has LaTeX (Pronounced Lay-Tek) compatibility. What this means is that using it I could go through the Wiki and make all the mathematics in it look nice (the biggest change this would bring would be the list of RC's where fractions and powers etc. would look correct). Figured I would bring this to people's attention and ask if said people don't mind this being done or not?
Storme Hawk -
First edit done. by
on 2016-10-24 15:46:00 UTC
Link to this
Done almost all of the List of RC's, and am hoping to finish it off by Wednesday, then I'll move on to the rest of the wiki to see what can be done.
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Huh, interesting. by
on 2016-10-24 17:07:00 UTC
Link to this
So in source mode, the change appears to be setting the numbers between <math> </math> tags (which means anyone can do it on a one-off basis without needing to use a program—neat!). It should be fairly simple to change how that displays using the wiki's CSS. I'll give it a go right now, before I forget.
~Neshomeh -
Putting whole numbers in is relatively easy, yes. by
on 2016-10-24 22:50:00 UTC
Link to this
However it's the fractions and powers etc. that are a bit more difficult. There's also a limit on what can and can't be put between the tags, which is why I haven't done RC Sp'Nüff(24), it doesn't like the ü and I can't work out how to make it either a) accept it or b) change the rest of the RC number to make it look alright, without replacing the ü with a u which is something I'd only do as a last resort. The only other thing I need to do is find out what symbol I can use to denote 'repeating' when a decimal is repeating some numbers in itself as I can't find the symbol I normally use.
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Oh, here we go. Solution for umlauts, etc. by
on 2016-10-24 23:52:00 UTC
Link to this
As per Wikipedia: \ddot{u}
I fixed it!
Sorry to keep spamming this thread with multiple replies. I'm kinda just nattering as I learn stuff. {= /
~Neshomeh -
Thanks by
on 2016-10-25 00:06:00 UTC
Link to this
Why did I never think to look at Wikipedia?
I don't mind, I know how to use LaTeX stuff, but I don't necessarily understand it, so it's interesting as far as I'm aware anyway. -
I'm pretty good with latex stuff myself by
on 2016-10-30 20:54:00 UTC
Link to this
Maybe we could show each other what we know sometime? ;-)
--Key is very sorry-not-sorry -
Hmm. by
on 2016-10-24 23:26:00 UTC
Link to this
I don't suppose it would work to write it out in HTML as ü, would it?
Also, to avoid an edit war: Weasel and Dina's RC should display something like 0.19587.485, shouldn't it, reading "zero-point-one-nine-five-eight-seven to the power of point-four-eight-five"? The way I had it, it did, but with your latest change, I only see the decimal point in superscript, the following 485 in normal font (0.19587.485). Does it display differently to you?
~Neshomeh -
Weasel and Dina's RC number. by
on 2016-10-25 00:09:00 UTC
Link to this
The original was 0.19587repeating485 I was using the superscripted . to denote the repeating whilst I worked out how to insert the proper symbol into the text (which I can now do thanks to Wikipedia).
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Ohhh, okay. Sorry for interfering, then. {= ) (nm) by
on 2016-10-25 00:45:00 UTC
Link to this
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No Problem (nm) by
on 2016-10-25 01:08:00 UTC
Link to this
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Okay, I couldn't resist. by
on 2016-10-24 17:45:00 UTC
Link to this
I poked a couple things on the list of RCs to see what would happen. Anyone CAN place and, with the right syntax, alter a "math" element. It just generates a new image according to parameters I neither understand nor know how to change, if it's even possible.
I assume the difference in font and size is deliberate, since this code is probably meant for setting off actual equations and such, not for mere aesthetics. It may not be meant to be changed?
~Neshomeh, seriously gonna leave this alone and do what she's supposed to be doing now. -
Or not. by
on 2016-10-24 17:28:00 UTC
Link to this
On further inspection, elements with "math" tags are actually images with the class .tex and the alt text of whatever is set between the tags. This... is not something I can easily fix. I can change the height of elements with the class .tex, but that results in some of the fractions becoming too small to read, so it's not a good solution. Nor am I certain now that just anyone could set anything between "math" tags and expect a result. I might give it a try sometime, but not right now.
~Neshomeh -
General editing questions (also attn. Mattman and Dawnfire) by
on 2016-10-24 13:20:00 UTC
Link to this
So first up general editing question, does anyone know the command to find out and/or change the size and font the wiki pages use? If not then the RC numbers are going to be a different size and font to everything else on the wiki. Which is also going to be a problem as I'm not maths-ifying the two RC's in "Not a Number/What Is This I Don't Even" that are phrases rather than numbers.
@Mattman, do you want me to maths-ify 1337 in the description of RC637R3K7M8? I can if you want.
@Dawnfire, in the RC list Edgar and Agen____t are in RC 2.1459 (Pie) but on their character pages they are in RC Pie-2,1459, which is correct?
Also the RC number for Luana Starlight and Orange Plaid is 27 ½.5 does anyone know if this is intentional or if it is just meant to be 27.5?
Finally, please correct me if I am assuming wrong, but several RC's have essentially two numbers associated with them, the string of digits and then in brackets a more succinct way of putting those digits (for example Des and The Librarian are in RC 0.4342944819 (log e)) I am going to put in both ways of putting the number, but if you only want one or the other then let me know and I will do it.
Storme Hawk
Who is remembering why he switched from LaTex to Word when it comes to mathematical typesetting -
Re: General editing questions (also attn. Mattman and Dawnfire) by
on 2016-10-26 18:21:00 UTC
Link to this
So that would basically just be me not being consistent about formatting, rather than something important. Basically: Edgar and Agen____t live in RC 2.1459, which is also called RC Pie
because this one time I misremembered pi and got that, whereupon I decided it should be pie. And then it became their RC.No matter what, though, there should be a period, not a comma. Neither I nor they would use that notation. You can go with the first version, I guess? RC 2.1459 (Pie)?
~DF -
Thanks for the clarification (nm) by
on 2016-10-27 16:01:00 UTC
Link to this
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Re: Luana and Orange's RC number: by
on 2016-10-25 14:22:00 UTC
Link to this
That's the number given in their single mission: "Finding a simple number like RC 500 was hard enough; finding RC 27 ½.5 was murder. It wasn't that it didn't exist, it did, but finding where it existed was the problem."
I can't imagine it isn't an intentional joke.
—doctorlit knows his old, obscure spin-offs -
Thanks (nm) by
on 2016-10-25 17:22:00 UTC
Link to this
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Additional Question by
on 2016-10-24 14:34:00 UTC
Link to this
Sorry, only just found this out, otherwise I would have added it to the previous post.
There are several RC's whose Agents don't appear on the Glossary of PPC Character's or in any other page of the wiki. Is it OK if I delete them from the list (unless anyone claims them)? I'll list them all out below:
0.19587repeating485 – Agents Weasel and Dina
32C – Agents Aeram and Hale
37 – Agents El and Tater
58 – Agents Dez and Gon (although these have adopted 2 mini's)
69 – Agents Seren and T’Pira (Seren appears to be a different character from Dawnfire's Seren Sato, but I may be wrong)
95.94 (Molybdenum) – Agents Brian and Katie (Katie appear to be a different character from JulyFlame's Katie Cray and Brian appears to be a different character from Brian McMaolin, but I ma be wrong)
0220 – Agent Kit ‘Not the God’ H and Agent Treeleaf
256 – Agents Leas and Hane
434 – Agents Meilijk and Tak
612 – Agent Kurdah Graill
616 – Agents Nosferatu and Nazaruth
1024 – Agents Chigiri, Hikari and Seirei
1210 – Agents Eledhiel and McFarley
1881 – Agent Laurel (Who I'm assuming is not the Sue in Agent form)
4213 – Agents Kip and Beofre
7777 – Agents Maelor and Akhana
16186 – Agent Erena Lechenham
Storme Hawk -
Yeah, better to leave them all up. by
on 2016-10-25 15:16:00 UTC
Link to this
A lot of these are characters I've archived, but haven't taken the time to put in the Glossary/make pages for yet, in case I run into more appearances for them later. (Those old RP LJs were like a giant crossover, you guys; it was kind of great!)
Anyway, a few links:
Maelor and Akhana, author unknown
Aeram, Treeleaf and Kit H. are all mentioned in Hawkelf's original site (though interestingly, not Hale; not sure if that was a co-written RC or if Hawkelf just never updated her site after conceiving Hale)
Dez and Gon by dragonlet, who also appear in the Alumia mission, I think?
Seren and T-Pira, author unknown
Leas and Hane are listed in the "other agents" section of the Handbook
Weasel and Dina, written by chem_nerd's sister
Nosferatu and Nazaruth I think were written by Oracle of Delphi—confirm, Nesh?
I'm pretty sure I've seen the name Beofre somewhere on LJ, too.
—doctorlit reserves the right to have made errors, as he is rushing this post out before work -
Nope, Blayze. by
on 2016-10-25 16:43:00 UTC
Link to this
Nosferatu, Nazaruth, and Beofre belong to Blayze. IIRC, Beofre was actually created from a typo of his that I called out in a chat. Good times, good times. {= )
Incidentally, I think the H in Kit H. stands for Hawk. Her name is Kitty Hawk. Is funny. You laugh now. ^_~ I'm not sure where I came across that info, though. Might've been deviantART? There's a lot of good stuff there.
~Neshomeh -
Ah, blast me. by
on 2016-10-26 04:06:00 UTC
Link to this
That's all I get for trying to rush a post out
beofrebefore work.
—doctorlit -
dragonlet! by
on 2016-10-25 16:13:00 UTC
Link to this
dragonlet was awesome. Yeah, Dez and Gon are in Woodsprite, as is Laurel... and a whooole bunch of people who I doubt ever appeared in anything else outside that mission. Back before the days of profiles and PPC-themed writing samples, people would get Permission based on being decent fanfic writers, and then simply never say anything about their agents. It's only when they showed up in things like this that anyone ever heard of them.
And you can see the sort of descriptions I was clearly working from. 'Agent Alex: irritable pyro with a Pepsi habit, and dyed magenta hair.' 'Bane Dragontooth: jumpy vampire, has Issues with fuzzy cute things like rabbits and hobbits (and an Incident with the latter).' And that's probably all we'll ever know about some of them.
(I see Jenni Robinson shows up as Agent Generic of FicPsych... aye, it were a different time.)
hS -
Well. by
on 2016-10-24 14:57:00 UTC
Link to this
I recognise RC Molybdenum and Agent Kit 'Not the God' H, so I'd rather you not remove them. Erena Lechenham is named (with RC number) in the first Playscripte. Agent Laurel appears on the Glossary, and has a link to her profile; did you not spot her?
More generally: the Wiki isn't the source of PPC canon, and it doesn't contain everything about it, despite various people's efforts. These agents were added by their creators, who we can assume had Permission; I don't think we have the right to take them off again.
hS -
Thanks by
on 2016-10-24 15:08:00 UTC
Link to this
I'll definitely not remove any of those then. I couldn't find anything with Erena Lechenham in, and I must have missed the agent profile (and indeed the agent herself somehow) in the glossary for Laurel. So sorry about that.
I know the Wiki isn't the source of PPC canon, however I figured I would ask just in case anyway. I have also just read the top of the wiki article and realised it says "You may not remove RCs or agents from this list unless they are yours." Which, I guess makes this whole thing invalid, so once again I apologise.
Storme Hawk
P.S sorry for some of the typo's in my post, my laptop's keyboard is slowly dying and I'm not always picking up on the mistakes I am then making because of it. -
Question by
on 2016-10-20 23:05:00 UTC
Link to this
Will it change the layout of the Wiki a whole lot, or just the mathematics?
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Just the mathematics by
on 2016-10-21 01:39:00 UTC
Link to this
All it really is is a bit of code that can be implemented. Much like how URL's and images are put into the wiki page LaTeX allows you to put proper mathematics onto the page as well.
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Ah, I see. by
on 2016-10-27 17:34:00 UTC
Link to this
It sounds like it'll make the Wiki look a lot neater. I say go for it!
Forgive my late reply I had a hard time finding the thread again. ^_^' -
Fine with me. (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 12:27:00 UTC
Link to this
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Apropos wiki changes... by
on 2016-10-20 12:21:00 UTC
Link to this
Why do we have this page? Do we really need a list of LGBT characters in fiction?
And yeah, sure, LaTeX away. -
The page could probably be improved. by
on 2016-10-20 14:41:00 UTC
Link to this
I'd start by renaming it "Homosexuality" and go on to develop the ideas discussed in the lead; when does writing a character as gay work, when doesn't it, etc. I could do without the list, personally, and Wikipedia is also doing the job—probably better than we are. We could link to that category instead of having our own, less adequate list taking up space.
Whatever happens, though, the list of gay/lesbian agents should stay.
I might make a separate page for bisexuality, too, since bi folks have their own challenges in real life and in (fan)fiction.
~Neshomeh -
FYI, went ahead and renamed the page. by
on 2016-10-20 23:20:00 UTC
Link to this
I think it's just nicer to refer to the noun for the orientation, not the noun for a person and especially not the adjective form. Plus, fits in with the pages we have on Sexuality and Asexuality.
~Neshomeh -
I agree; consistency and niceness are good. (nm) by
on 2016-10-25 14:38:00 UTC
Link to this
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What about a list for... by
on 2016-10-20 16:29:00 UTC
Link to this
Trans/nonbinary agents? Or are there not enough of those?
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If there's a page for it... by
on 2016-10-20 16:36:00 UTC
Link to this
... then pop a list on it. If there's not a page (what would you call it? I don't think either of those form a natural -ism construct; eh, I'm sure there's one out there), then decide whether the topic of nonbinariality is sufficiently important to the PPC to need a Wiki article. If so, write it... and then return to step one. ;)
hS -
Okay, page is now made. by
on 2016-10-20 21:09:00 UTC
Link to this
Take a look, suggest changes, go nuts.
I took most of the words from the Gender Bending page since it's... not really gender bending. -
Question. by
on 2016-10-21 13:50:00 UTC
Link to this
Actually, two questions:
1/ Page-related, in the list you give specific descriptions by the agents' names, but most (all?) of them don't appear in the text of the article theoretically describing the phenomenon. One even shows up as an acronym, which frankly sounds like a style of computer game to me. ;) I guess this isn't really a 'question' so much as a point to be improved.
2/ Wait, there's actually three questions. #2 is: you're using 'male' and 'female' as words for gender, and say that it's incorrect to describe someone as 'male in a female body'. What word structure would you suggest to describe the biological sex of someone's body, since it's... uh, actually quite significant in lots of contexts. (Take that as either 'would you personally suggest' or 'what's the accepted standard', as appropriate.)
3/ I only discovered the third question late. ^^ ... no, never mind, I followed a link and the third question went away.
Wait, I found another, and I'm veering quite far off topic here.
4/ Agen___t's article says that they 'refused to settle on a gender without knowing more about zirself and what genders even meant'. So... what does gender even mean?
(I could add more to that question, but choose not to prejudge the potential answer/s.)
hS -
Answer(s)! by
on 2016-10-21 17:31:00 UTC
Link to this
1) I went ahead and made a few changes. Hopefully this is a bit better.
2) Personally, I prefer AFAB (assigned female at birth) for myself and I know others do as well, but YMMV.
3) Never mind, then? :P
4) When I first came out as genderfluid, I got a heck of a lot of questions asking "Well how do you know what gender you are?" and "What does X gender even feel like?" To which I would have to say, how would you describe color to a blind person? How would you describe what your own gender feels like? My personality doesn't change with my gender; I don't suddenly love football when I'm male, and I don't get the urge to wear makeup when I'm female. It's just kind of a gut feeling to me, though sometimes it takes me a bit before I figure out which I am today. Until then, it's just this vague sense of discomfort—kind of like wearing clothes that are just a tiny bit too small. It's quite annoying to be called "young lady" when I'd prefer "young man" or vice versa.
In all honesty, I'm probably the worst person to ask this question because even I myself have no idea what gender is to me, other than a gut feeling. *shrugs* Wish I could be more helpful than ramble a lot. -
"Like blue, but with a bit of red in it." by
on 2016-10-21 18:38:00 UTC
Link to this
And I wouldn't describe what 'my gender' feels like - it's not something I consider terribly important.
There's a moment in (UK, original) Top Gear where they discuss the downside of having a moustache, which is: how could you think of anything else? "I'm going to the shop, and I have a moustache... I'm driving my car, and I have a moustache..." But gender... isn't a moustache, to me (has anyone ever said that sentence before? ^_^).
So I guess my follow-up question is: if the English language had a fully-functioning genderless mode, such that 'young person' was a way someone might address you, would you be annoyed by that in the same way you're annoyed by the gendered version? If gender is a partial moustache for you (ie, you're aware of it - whatever 'it' may be), how would you feel about it being...
... uh...
... shaved?
I think my simile got away from me.
hS -
In terms of the moustache: by
on 2016-10-21 18:53:00 UTC
Link to this
Being agender is having no moustache for me. I don't care how people address me then because it's then that I don't really give a flying fig. And thankfully, that seems to be my default state; it's nice not to have to worry about it.
But then there are times when I have a moustache and I like how it looks, and times when the moustache is itchy and stuck on with superglue and it drives me nuts.
If that makes sense? -
This whole thread is my new favorite explanation of gender (nm) by
on 2016-10-30 20:44:00 UTC
Link to this
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PS sorry for incoherent ramblings. (nm) by
on 2016-10-21 18:40:00 UTC
Link to this
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Because I have no idea what happened. by
on 2016-10-21 18:43:00 UTC
Link to this
The moustache got into my brain. "I'm writing about gender... and I'm thinking about a moustache. I'm making an analogy, and I have a moustache."
pls send hlp
hS & the imaginary moustache -
I have an actual moustache... by
on 2016-10-21 19:08:00 UTC
Link to this
But I only think about it when I twirl the edges while thinking, or (obviously) I'm discussing moustaches.
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On question 4. by
on 2016-10-21 15:38:00 UTC
Link to this
Disclaimer: This is just my rambling opinion of the moment. I don't intend to speak for anybody else.
I've lately come to think that gender is basically, more or less, BS. It's almost entirely a social construct, and one that I personally have never really bought into. I mean... my body is female, I'm happy being female, but all the trappings of "traditional" femininity mean little and less to me. People are just people. They should be able to like what they like and be good at what they're good at regardless of their Xs and/or Ys. IMO, the sooner we all stop caring how people with certain bodies choose to express themselves through superficial fashion choices and whatnot, the happier we'll all be.
Screw gender, it's a dumb idea that's caused a lot of people a lot of heartache. Let's ditch it. {= P
~Neshomeh reserves the right to be wrong and change her mind. -
In all honestly... by
on 2016-10-21 15:57:00 UTC
Link to this
... that's kind of where I am, too. And one possible answer to my question is 'people view men and women differently, and we should be allowed to choose which way we're viewed', which is perfectly valid, and the only one I can think of off the top of my head which I don't go 'uh what?' at.
But I'm also aware that other people can - on certain rare occasions - answer questions in ways I didn't expect. So I'm hoping for answers that fall somewhere between the above and 'well males like football and girls like flowers'.
hS
PS: Gender isn't even essential in writing, y'know... -
About the last one: by
on 2016-10-21 18:05:00 UTC
Link to this
It's language-dependent. You wouldn't be able to pull off that trick in, say, Hebrew, or Latin, or Spanish, or (ancient) Greek.
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Call for clarification. by
on 2016-10-21 12:12:00 UTC
Link to this
To keep word order consistent, shouldn’t the sentence read either
Transwoman/transman work well if you have to specify, but there's usually no reason not to just refer to them as simply "woman" or "man"
or
Transman/transwoman work well if you have to specify, but there's usually no reason not to just refer to them as simply "man" or "woman"?
Or did I get Wikipedia wrong?
HG -
You're right, I fixed it. (nm) by
on 2016-10-21 17:32:00 UTC
Link to this
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Cool. by
on 2016-10-20 23:00:00 UTC
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I was gonna suggest pretty much what you already did. This works for me—cuz yeah, it's not really the same thing as fanfic gender-bending, and discussing actual transgenderism under the heading of gender-bending feels a tad trivializing to me.
~Neshomeh -
Hm... I'm not sure. by
on 2016-10-20 20:27:00 UTC
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We don't seem to have any trans agents that I can tell after derping through the wiki, though we have a number of nonbinary: Seung-Li Kim, Agen___t, Ix, and Castor Parwell (and a few who might or might not count, like the RMC, various AIs, and Laburnum). I don't think Time Lords who changed sex upon regenerating would count. :P
But yeah, four might not be enough to make a page over. -
Should we really have separate pages? by
on 2016-10-20 21:11:00 UTC
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It looks to me that we can just have one page for LGBT agents and give each bit of the acronym its own part; it doesn't look to me like we have enough content for three pages.
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Or... that works, too. by
on 2016-10-20 21:16:00 UTC
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Now I feel kinda silly. :(
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*one trans agent, sorry. (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 20:42:00 UTC
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I think that page started as . . . by
on 2016-10-20 14:41:00 UTC
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. . . one of the nuts-and-bolts bad slash pages. At some point, people started adding either their own agents, or characters from canons they liked. Because that is what fans do. It's ultimately harmless; all the actual content of the page is right at the top, so no one is hindered from reading it by the list. It interesting to see the breakdown, too: A lot more representation in anime/manga and web-based series than in the more mainstream media.
—doctorlit, possibly answering a rhetorical question -
Don't see why not. by
on 2016-10-20 04:48:00 UTC
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I'd just be on the lookout for instances where the appearance of the number when written a certain way might be part of a joke. I can't think of any offhand, but it's the sort of thing I'd expect of mathematically inclined PPCers. {= )
~Neshomeh, not one of them. -
Sounds good to me. by
on 2016-10-20 03:13:00 UTC
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Accurate number presentation is as important as spelling words correctly, after all!
—doctorlit 's father is a math teacher, so
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I forgive Christopher Tolkien everything. by
on 2016-10-20 10:12:00 UTC
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Everything - all the questionable decisions he made during the publication of the Silmarillion, his refusal to allow us to see a Silm TV series, his ridiculous idea that the Children of Hurin needed to be published separately: everything.
Next year, we finally get a Beren and Luthien standalone book.
"I never called Edith Luthien – but she was the source of the story that in time became the chief plan of the ‘Silmarillion.’ It was first conceived in a small woodland glade filled with hemlocks at Roos in Yorkshire (where I was for brief time in command of an outpost of the Humber Garrison in 1917, and she was able to live with me for a while). In those days her hair was Raven, her skin clear, her eyes brighter than you have seen them, and she could sing – and dance."
Super super excited.
hS -
Semi-OT: Of possible note to hS... by
on 2016-10-21 13:29:00 UTC
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Is this 'ere pub, in the (to him) nearby village of Wymondham. I might be telling you something you already know, but I stumbled upon it quite by chance and thought it relevant to your interests. =]
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That's pretty cool. ^_^ by
on 2016-10-21 13:42:00 UTC
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I assume you mean nearby to me, not to Tolkien (who lived in Birmingham, Warwickshire, Oxford, and Bournemouth, but never as far as I know Norfolk).
It's not the only Green Dragon, either. Google tells me I can find one in Cambridge, Braintree, three in London... wow, I could design the geekiest and spaced-out-iest pub crawl ever.
Alas, there doesn't appear to be a genuine Prancing Pony (though it is the name of a brewery in Australia). Or a Forsaken Inn... anywhere. There is, interestingly, an Ivy Bush inn (it's Gaffer Gamgee's local, on the Bywater road)... in central Birmingham. So maybe Tolkien knew of that one.
hS -
There's 'The Hobbit' Pub in Southampton too by
on 2016-10-22 10:00:00 UTC
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It does loads of different cocktails and shots that are named after Lord of the Rings characters and is probably the only place in the world where you can say "Can I have an Elrond please?" without getting loads of weird looks.
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There's a dirty joke about putting Boromir in one's mouth. by
on 2016-10-22 13:26:00 UTC
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Since this is a family-friendly forum, I shall decline to make it. =]
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So, when we Gather... {= D by
on 2016-10-21 15:26:00 UTC
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Y'know, assuming the money comes together and all that. Which is unfortunately still a big assumption at the moment. But I can dream.
I like British pubs. I've never felt out of place in one despite not drinking.
~Neshomeh -
I shall have to provide you with interesting craft sodas. =] by
on 2016-10-21 15:36:00 UTC
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Since, y'know, I gave hS interesting real ale last time, and that would be pointless for you. =]
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In that case... by
on 2016-10-25 14:13:00 UTC
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I like ginger beer and root beer, and I'm willing to try most anything with unusual herbal flavors that most people would turn up their noses at. Can't stand anything cola-flavored, though. {= )
~Neshomeh finally thought of how to reply to this post other than "yes, that would be nice!" -
Ooh, now that sounds interesting. by
on 2016-10-25 14:48:00 UTC
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Much to the dismay of Britain At Large, I've never really developed a taste for beer; it was certainly worth the experience of trying Scape's gift, but I think we'd probably get more use out of craft sodas (in terms of 'hey, we could have this again'). And Kaitlyn has a vast collection of herbal teas, so she'd certainly be up for sending Smeagol to find some 'erbs.
... not that I meant to compare Scapegrace to Gollum. Um, maybe you could be Sam instead, Scape?
hS -
You've made your bedses now, precious... by
on 2016-10-26 04:51:00 UTC
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But yeah, I'm more than okay with fetching interesting things. There's a couple of London craft soda breweries who I reckon will be up your collective alley, so I'll look into ensuring sufficient supplies for any and all Gatherings that occur.
In the meantime: hS, do try anything by Boylan's or Goose Island if you haven't already. I'll probably go for Square Root for the actual visit, since they're small enough to evade notice and I can reliably source them. =] -
Protectors of the Pub Crawl? by
on 2016-10-21 14:17:00 UTC
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Drunk AU best AU. =]
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One thing that intrigues me... by
on 2016-10-21 12:46:00 UTC
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... is that several of the articles claim the book will mostly consist of the 'original version' of the story.
I... find that unlikely. The Tale of Tinuviel is very different from the story as presented in the Silmarillion - it takes place in a wildly different (simpler) Beleriand, and notably has Beren as a Noldo(!). And that's not even mentioning the giant cat which makes Beren its slave...
So while the idea of a Readers' Version of the Book of Lost Tales is one I've liked for a while, I think it far more likely we'll get the version found in the Quenta Silmarillion draft - ie, something slightly longer than the version that made its way into the published Silm.
What I would like - and find it unlikely I'll get - is a triple combination version which presents, in reverse order of writing, the Quenta version, the Lay of Leithian (combined from the rewrite and the original), and the Tale of Tinuviel, all in 'reader' versions. Then the latter part of the book could be the analysis. That would be a gorgeous book... but it won't happen. ;)
hS -
Well, I know what I want for my birthday. (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 15:03:00 UTC
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Ooh. by
on 2016-10-20 12:18:00 UTC
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All on-board the hype train!
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Sound The Alarms! Lock The Doors! ITS THE NINTENDO NX! by
on 2016-10-20 16:09:00 UTC
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Or, as Nintendo is calling it now, the Nintendo Switch!
I think I see Skyrim in there -
Nintendo Switch. NS. by
on 2016-10-21 07:16:00 UTC
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IT'S THE NUTSHACK.
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NS, huh? God help us if they make four more iterations... (nm) by
on 2016-10-21 18:03:00 UTC
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As supplied by r/PAD, a list of developers! (Large Image) by
on 2016-10-20 16:22:00 UTC
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GungHo holy crap yes
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A what if scenario by
on 2016-10-20 18:58:00 UTC
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Seeing as how agents deal with canons being replaced or taken out of their continuum with putting them back I wonder.
How would the agents handle if an oc was stolen for a fanfic they were on a mission for?
Would it be considered a replacement or could the oc have the uncanon influences removed and sent back to their own rps and fanfics? Could the agents even be able to tell if the oc was taken from someone else? How would the oc have gotten there?
I ask because as someone who is modding a DR Oc group someone aped an oc and had stolen the design of an down to even tracing the art for the oc and copying their talent. They didn't get into the group obviously but it makes me wonder about what would happen if something like that occurred in a fanfic. I've seen rp groups who have had to kick people out for stealing ocs too.
Note that this would apply even to writers who don't know using others oc designs and art for their own oc isn't okay. -
On the Subject of What-Ifs by
on 2016-10-20 23:12:00 UTC
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I think that perhaps the stolen OCs would simply be returned to their original fan-canon. It makes the most sense to me, seeing as they're OCs and are not part of the original canon.
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That's exactly what happened with Lapis' homefic. by
on 2016-10-20 23:28:00 UTC
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I used someone else's fanmade Pokemon designs, with permission of course, but then I had to drop the fic later on because of college. In-universe, I returned all the fakemon species and the other person's characters to their original owner and region (partly due to the fact that he was starting to update their designs at the time, and still is), and then destroyed the fic and everything else in it.
For my taste, though, using or copying someone else's OC for use in RPs or fanfics is a very insulting gesture TBH. If I see such a move in any of the communities I'm currently participating in, including the PPC, somebody will soon be eating their own teeth. -
Oh good! So who're you starting with? by
on 2016-10-21 09:48:00 UTC
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Are you going to start at the top, with Jay and Acacia's recruitment of Ranger? Or maybe something more recent, like my sneaking off with Arwen/Hypatia?
What's your plan for when the recruitment was done by someone other than the person who used the character? Do I get punched for Ithalond too, or are you going to be hunting down Tungsten_Monk? And who gets the blame for Ilraen - Twiggy or Neshomeh?
Please, do tell - I'm excited to hear all the plans behind your random threats of violence towards your fellow PPCers.
hS -
Oh dear lord, that was NOT what I meant! by
on 2016-10-21 13:53:00 UTC
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Recruitment is understandable and certainly done with credit, and heck, I have an agent based on someone else's character (Rayner, based off Trotsworth's genderbent Rainbow Dash) AND have recruited someone else's OC at least once (though granted, I handed V.R. off to a fellow Boarder afterward). The difference, though, is that in all of these cases I openly cited where all these characters came from or were derived from. It's when someone uses someone else's character WITHOUT CREDITING THE ORIGINAL CREATOR that things get ugly. Replacements are of course exceptional due to being derived from a canon, but use of someone's fanmade OC without credit technically DOES qualify as plagiarism. You both are on the same tier, so to speak.
I am so sorry that I failed to clarify this from the beginning. I know I should've, and darn it, I WANTED to, but I pressed the post reply button too early and I can't edit Board posts. WHY, BOARD, WHY?! DX -
I think there's a more substantive difference. by
on 2016-10-21 16:09:00 UTC
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Namely, when a PPCer recruits a character, they don't remain the exact same character. The badfic version and the PPC version share certain superficial traits, but the whole point, IMO, is to take the kernel of an idea that was done badly and show how it could be done well.
Ilraen, for instance, is not the same Andalite who showed up for one line in a fanfic to give some OC morphing powers. He did that thing, but that other guy was just a one-dimensional bit character without so much as a name. Ilraen is, I devoutly hope, much more than that. You couldn't say at this point that they're the same character.
Same goes for Derik. He had a bit more to his badfic origin, but Derik is not the same guy as E'rik, because he has an inner life with conflicts all his own. E'rik... doesn't. He was just there to look impressive and play backup to the main Sue of the story. Derik remembers being Weyrleader to Alanna's Weyrwoman... but he remembers a lot more about having been a harper and a generic bronzerider, none of which was actually in the fic; and he also has these strange moments where the fact that he's a Phantom photocopy seems to go further than skin-deep, and they freak him out.
Even Gall, who's the most similar to her badfic counterpart, I wouldn't say is the same character. Luga is a generic schoolyard bully who bullies for the sake of bullying with no real rhyme or reason to it. Gall is a self-centered jerk who likes to throw her weight around (such as it is), but she's also perceptive, insightful, and intelligent; she respects power, loves her dragon, and wants to jump her partner's bones if he'll ever take a hint. Her best friend is Gremlin, and they like to bond over raucous girls' nights and physical activities such as AHAIRQ and the PPC Hunger Games. They're different people.
At best, you could say these characters were inspired by their badfic counterparts. They share similar origins, but nothing more. And that, I think, is how you avoid plagiarism. Credit to the original not required.
~Neshomeh -
Wait, I'm on the same tier with who? ^_~ by
on 2016-10-21 14:15:00 UTC
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Thanks for clarifying.
As to why you can't edit Board posts - if you desperately want that ability, you can post and ask the Board's opinion (it's an option that can be enabled for logged-in users, I think). But I will argue vehemently against it, on the grounds that a) we've had enough bad apples around that letting them alter their posts is asking for 'no I never said that you bully', and b) acknowledging and discussing your mistakes is far more in the PPC spirit than just deleting them. (Oh, and c) I hate the idea of losing information - any information.)
hS
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Live Reading in 30 Minutes! by
on 2016-10-20 21:32:00 UTC
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I'll be reading an extended, director's cut edition of "The Green Maul". Come join me on the generic_channel on the Discord chat if you want to hear me butcher a faux British accent! :D
- And, as usual, the recording by on 2016-10-21 00:02:00 UTC Link to this
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Live reading now! (nm) by
on 2016-10-20 22:05:00 UTC
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Sound the Beta Bell! by
on 2016-10-20 21:33:00 UTC
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I'm looking for betas for something that isn't related to the PPC. I chanced upon a decent Yu-Gi-Oh! AU fic that is in dire need of a SPaG beta; I've had a chat with the authors, and it seems that they had a bad case of vanishing betas. So I'm looking for someone who's willing to beta for SPaG for those guys. Since this is a commitment, please only reply if you're reasonably certain you have the time. Any interested parties should give me an email address or something similar, so I can make the connection between them and the authors.
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Username is clickable. Send it my way :) (nm) by
on 2016-10-21 02:18:00 UTC
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