Aug 2016 Archive, part a

https://discord.gg/0zL6OvKrsM4gca0Z

i can't wait for the full version

Mind if I ask who you are?

What is an Alola form? How does a Z move work? How are Trials and Gyms separate? I don't care! It looks so cool!

http://www.nintendo-insider.com/2016/08/alolan-exeggutor-vulpix-sandshrew-and-more-revealed-in-pokemon-sun-and-moon/

NINETAILS IS NOW 9x FLUFFIER THAN BEFORE

I'll certainly get this game. Also, aren't a certain musical celestial duo implied to be from space?

So I’ll not even try to conjure a proper review; I’m just going to berate you after saying that I actually liked this interlude.

Solvig sighed and momentarily lifted her gaze. When her gaze met with Nurse Chan’s gaze ...
Three gazes in one line, and a fourth in the next paragraph, are a bit much. Maybe you could try to find some other words?

The fact that nearly killed Sarah in that mission...
Missing word "I"?

"Solvig, please stop," the Nurse said suddenly, stopping Solvig’s rant.
I’m not quite sure why this took me out of the story so that I had to take a note. It’s either because Nurse Chan had something "said suddenly" just on the previous page, or it’s the stopping "stop". I guess "interrupted" might work better hear.

"Solvig, I did tell you it was a different universe to those you know, did not I?"
Shouldn’t this be "did I not"? Or perhaps "didn’t I" (messing with the grammar to be able to use a contraction, which Corinna Chan apparently does not do)? Or is this Corinna Chan not knowing English grammar?

... it ended in an stalemate…
Since this isn’t a quote from an old fic, it should be "a stalemate".

Although I do question the validity of such occurrence ...
Shouldn’t this be "such an occurrence"?

I did not knew until later that I had caught a Riolu ...
Should be "I did not know ...".

Nubis and I were just taking a stroll the shore of the lake ...
Shouldn’t this be "on the shore"?

I took a dry branch that found lying there and tackled the one who was directly attacking Nubis ...
Another "I" is missing there (should be "that I found").

When I came back to my senses and realized I had done ...
Should be "realized what I had done".

The rest of the group was stunned to what they have seen ...
Should be "what they had seen" (past perfect).

"No. And would not be the last one... "
Missing word? (Should be "And it would".) Although I wouldn’t have noticed this if there weren’t so many other words missing. I could actually imagine that Nurse Chan left this one out.

She then stopped laughing as suddenly as she started ...
Should be "as suddenly as she had started" (past perfect).

... and a good amount of soldiers from sides deserted ...
Should be "from both sides".

... artifacts for the summoning the Legendary Ho-Oh.
If "summoning" is used as a noun here, it should be "for the summoning of the Legendary Ho-Oh". On the other hand, if "summoning" is used as a verb. it doesn’t get an article; it should just be "for summoning the Legendary Ho-Oh".

Her followers did not had the same restriction however, making the break in more difficult than it should have, the good thing ...
Should be "did not have the same" and "than it should have been".

I had broken into one their hideouts ...
Should be "one of their hideouts".

... where met the Elder Sage and left the artifacts under his care.
Should be "where I met".

I felt like head was going to explode under all of that ...
Should be "like my head".

... who was glaring me with scorn in its gaze ...
Should be "glaring at me".

"Oh, do not they? " Nurse Chan said with a smirk.
The same word order problem as above; I think that should be "Oh, do they not?"

Solvig had a giggle fit after that, and as soon she was able to control herself...
Shouldn’t this be "... as soon as she was ..."?

HG

That's pretty gooooood.
You did that whole connecting thing pretty well (though, to be fair, it's rather easy with PPC stuff)

Bit of spooky phrasing with 'Undoubtedly she had touched a chord, that never should had.'
Y'know. Might work better with 'have,' or 'shouldn't had.'

Also, 'Holey moley, that means you're a ninja!' is sort of adorable. Haven't heard 'holey moley' in years.

And, er, the implication that no-one is going to miss a dead hunter, or that no-one should miss a dead hunter because he was sexist seems a little bit twisted to me. If someone's been killed, they've been killed, even if they've been a wanker, y'know?
And people oughtn't be killed, the way I see it.
Anyway, I'm sure his mother, or his dog, at least, misses him.

Status Quo is shaken! I know more!
The link has been clicked!

I know that's not a badfic, but sweet Philemon, that's a really nasty 'verse there. I feel really bad for people having to live through that. Kudos for the character devlopment though. My wishes go for Nurse Chan.

Now I'm relly impatient to see whatever you've got in mind for thee future. It promises a lot from the look on things right now.

I liked this, even though (as far as I can remember) I haven't read anything with these folks in it before.

Most of the part where Solvig picked her name was pretty funny. Especially the embarrassing middle name section. ("Most" because the last name change reads as serious, as intended(?))

In general, the serious, character-developing bits (which were most of the interlude) were well-done and not too serious.

My only comment it that it took a moment to realize that Nurse Chan's story wasn't a badfic of some sort, since the format matched PPC house style for missions (bold the quoted bits of bad stuff).

"We didn't learn hardly anything about her until the end," the Aviator said, rolling her eyes.
Is this quasi-double-negation intentional? Actually they did learn far too much?

"How hard it it to understand it makes no difference?!"
Should be "is".

Please never miss an opportunity to make the Suvians eliminate themselves. Also, I liked how assassinating not!God is a big thing for Zeb, but actually just underwhelming.

HG

It's always great to see the glitterbag being eliminated thanks to is own stupidity. I thnk there's no kill better suited to the PPC than this sort.

Speaking of the Council, I'm also curious to know if you and other people intend to wirte another session of it soon. They never fail to be fun.

Now Zeb, for this little angst about the murder of a version of God, I suggest a cure of Atlus games. Killing a few jerkasses gods should do a wonder for your bewilderment. Just be aware that difficulty will be up to the challenge.

And tiny technical detail: 'Carry On, My Wayward Son” Not sure what quote mark is the wrong one.

The summary just shouts that the author wanted an excuse to write this..

Review coming shortly.

They replaced both God and an angel. How awesome. Thank goodness it's dead.

Let's see... I noticed two misspellings, oddly both involving the letter L.
1) Bela. Did you meant Bella, as is in Bella Swan, here? Or are names pronounced as Bella just cursed?
2) "... a knife would suddenly in his back." I'm not quite sure how you would kill somebody by putting a would in their back. In fact, I'm not sure that there is a noun spelled 'would'. However, if you're talking about a wound, then that I can understand.

As for what I liked, well, Zeb and the Aviator arguing was hilarious, especially when they started calling each other names. Zeb's mouth is so foul. First meanie, and then jerk? Somebody needs their mouth washed out with soap. Also. how the two deal with having to kill a replacement of God. The actions and reactions are priceless. Awesome as ever.

I think "accidentally erased themselves from existence" is my favorite end for any Sue, ever. XD And Zeb continues to be totes adorbs. Keep up the good work!

Thanks to Skarmory for beta-ing. Constructive Criticism is always appreciated.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UyUnAU2nhex49DmYkc_x1wbNIh1jR4lB1fINnf13G-g/edit?usp=sharing

Specifically, with how Hop is a blatant near-carbon copy of the canon Overwatch character Tracer shoehorned into the PPC. The energetic personality, the Cockney accent, certain details about their appearance; heck, even their first names are the same! You went so far as to put an Overwatch quote on her Wiki page!

I really don't like this. It feels like a transparent attempt to try and write a mashup of Overwatch/PPC fanfiction. What's more, it's lazy. Rather than come up with your own character, this feels like you've took someone else's and barely made a token effort to file off the serial numbers.

I might be a bit more accepting if Hop were some sort of AU version of Tracer recruited to the PPC. I would still think it's a lazy choice, but I would understand it better. But apparently, this character is supposed to be from the Doctor Who universe? The actual universe, and not a badfic? I'm sorry, but that stretches my suspension of disbelief too far. The two universes don't have anything to do with each other! It just seems like a very weak attempt to hide the fact that this isn't really your character. It's like if I made a new agent who was a teenage wizard with a scar on his face and an English accent, named him "Harry McAndrews," then said he hailed from Shadowrun.

Another detail about this character that bothered me: her phonetic accent. There are times where it was overused to the point of being nearly unreadable. At other points, it swayed from Cockney to almost Scottish (like anytime you used "aye" for "yes" or "me" for "my"). The trick with using dialects like this is to use an easy hand (unless the joke is that their accent IS so thick as to be hard to understand).

As for the mission itself, it was generally okay. The biggest issue I had was that there was a lot of telling as opposed to showing. It all very well to say that "Hip and Hop cringed on seeing the contradiction" regarding the venom, but it isn't very interesting to read. What were their reactions? What did they say? Or later on, when Cinder Fall and her cronies were taken care of in one sentence. There's nothing that could have been shown about that?

The dialogue was probably the sharpest part of the mission. Each character's personality came off very well through it. The conclusion was also very good, with the agents being clever and taking advantage of the Stu's weakened state. That, for me, will always be better than a knock-down fight between agent and Stu/Sue.

A few minor things:
— I agree with HG in that your portrayal of the Shadow People was very amusing, even if the tilde speech got a little tiring for me after a while.
— Charge list was clean and to the point. Nice. I am not a fan of lists that stretch for over half a page.
— While the matter is often debated, I personally do not think that miscapitalized words like "semblance" should not result in minis. I think of it like this: say "Harry Dresden" out loud. Now say "harry dresden" out loud. Is there a difference? Then again, that's just me.

All in all, I would have liked the mission a lot more had Hop actually been an original character. If I want to read about Tracer, I'll go read Overwatch fanfiction. The PPC should be for the stuff that comes out of our heads, not what comes out of others'.

A very solid piece. These new agents are fun and quirky -- what I'm starting to realize is my favorite type of spinoff (which means it's time to completely rewrite my Permission prompts again! Whee!). The writing was solid, with plenty of funny moments. I liked the pacing when the C-CAD started smoking. And I could picture the action and understand more or less what was going on, despite being totally unfamiliar with RWBY (although I felt that I was missing a lot. TOS made me read LotR; one more RWBY mission will put me over the edge into needing to watch it).

I did sometimes want more description of their surroundings; you gave the minimum required to understand what was going on, which is okay but not awesome. I can follow and enjoy the story, but I'm not immersed in it. If you have plenty of other things to work on, ignore this, but if you feel nicely accomplished at having created this lovely comedic duo and want another target, I recommend description.

--Key, in an airport at midnight because Delta Airlines screwed up.

I like how you treated the Shadow People, and Hop singing Ode to Joy with a new text, and – what’s that other thing she does? Rap? (I’m not much into music) – and the unconventional use of a canon cannon.

Nitpicks:

Hop noted down new set of charges.
Missing word "the" (or "a")?

... leaving with a mild stomachache.
Missing word "them"?

HG

With Hip & Hop making there mission debut at that!

Like William & VJ, Hip & Hop's interactions are something I feel should be a standard in PPC writings: Light hearted and comedic at times.

Going into the fic, was a tad disappointed you didn't use the joke I made in Discord about Blake and nicknames for her significant other. But that come from my own thought process, not your own.

The Stu was a strange something to behold, with the premise of the Stu becoming prehistoric beasts being something I find fits more comfortably in a SkarmorySilver work. But seeing as how most everything SS knows about RWBY canon probably comes from him following my own Tumblr I couldn't see him doing it.

I was giggling like a madman throughout the entirety of the execution. Frydor, whom I hope to god is free to use, was a welcomed addition, the cannon equally so. If someone ever animated a scene from the PPC, this would be one of my top pics.

All and all it was a most excellent mission, and I await further dwellings into your agents ways.

~Mattman, who finally got his school laptop back.

You used "Beowulf" instead of "Beowolf" three times.

Page 3: "With a quiet poof, a small creature appeared in front of the Agents. It was a miniature version of a Beowulf, but with blonde fur and small spectacles on its snout."

Page 7: "The Stu and his minion came across another duo of future minions — a pair of OCs named Isaac and Dalton. After a cheesy action scene, which mostly comprised of the author telling the reader all of the characters’ weapons and Semblances (Hip grabbed another mini-Beowulf, ‘semblance’, and threw it into a portal), all of their enemies were dead."

Page 10: "~Huh?~ Hip looked down. A mini-Beowulf poofed into existence right in front of them. It had grey fur, spiked on the head, and was wearing a pair of black boots. ~I didn’t expect that.~"

Well, new, you presented them in RPs on the boards before, and Hop through an interlude. Still, happy to see them. Writng her with an accent is also a nice touch. Using shadow people disguise was funny too. Wish I had thought about that when I did my RWBY mission.

Now, te glitterbag had a flashy death, and one caused by its own powers, and like I said, that makes it a favorite for me. Hope them and Venus and William are in for a long time.

As a nitpick, I think you could have tried showing the readings for the C-CAD. The funny comments they can made are always an opportunity to take.

Well first of all were not telling you what you can and cannot write, were telling you what you should and should not write. I mean write what you wanna write but don't be offended when someone criticizes it or writes a humerus short story where they judge and kill your OCs. It's just not worth it. General rule is if you post it to the internet, people will critique it. or throw twenty slurs at it.

I think it's sturgeon's law that says 90% is bad. Maybe by going for volume, you'll get the occasional good fic with a bad premise.

It depends on what you find entertaining. Sure, a Mary-Sue could be the star of an interesting read. I can't think of any right now.

Because regardless of the quality of discussion her repeated intrusion may cause, Toroll is still banned, and her posts should be scrubbed on sight.

I firmly believe that everyone has a right to create what they love.

That includes me.

You have a perfect right to create and share your Mary Sue. I have a perfect right to create and share my narrative critique.

To quote LadyDragon76 from her response to flyingcondors: "You, me, Jimbob over there, and Skippy nextdoor have no right to say what ANY person can write about. ... It MUST be a free for all, or it is nothing."

If fandom needs everything, it needs the PPC, too.

~Neshomeh

Now that I actually feel competent writing this, here's my thoughts.

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions. I thank you for your input. I believe that we can always learn something new from the thoughts of others, and that at the very least, I'll try to do that. You've given us another point of view, and people can always take something away from that. There's pieces that you like, and pieces that you don't like. To my knowledge, this isn't a hate group, where we just go into fanfiction to kill characters that we don't like, though possibly some people within and outside our community think so. Personally, I have not seen elements of the former. True, imagination is an excellent thing, but sometimes, it can be perverted, like when the Imagination Nexus became the Maelstrom. That parable is a lighter and softer version of what I think is actually happening, however. There are very depraved things happening in fanfiction sometimes. Now, the previous statement is very much YMMV. My concept of depravity could be very different from yours. For example, some people think torture is a beautiful art, but I think it's despicable. It's all a matter of what floats your boat. This community is about preventing bad writing, and having fun while we're at it. The thing is, bad writing is objective, just like whether the death penalty is wrong or not. Of course, someone's going to argue against my point. I should be fine with that, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

If you have read this, thank you for listening to my thoughts.

TL;DR: "Freedom is the Right of all Sentient Beings" can be interpreted in many ways, because "Freedom" is a wild card.

The vast majority of fanfiction contains Sues in one way or another, so the character type's association with bad writing was unavoidable. Sues are symptoms of bad writing, but bad writing itself, and bad writing in general, are what the PPC community addresses in missions. A disproportionate amount of missions involve Sues because, again, that's the shape of fanfiction. But missions are more about pointing out what works vs. what doesn't work in the story.

But, of course, the real topic here isn't Sues themselves, but whether writing them is "okay" for authors. And quite honestly, that argument is irrelevant in this community; we don't inform badfic authors of missions into their stories, and we certainly don't attempt to dissuade anyone from writing anything. Missions exist only as part of the fictional setting of PPC HQ. If a fanfiction renaissance ripped across the internet overnight tonight, and fanfiction quality took a huge upturn, I myself (and probably many other writers in this community) would craft artificial badfics to send my agents into, as a backdrop to my own continuing plot lines. The badfics aren't the point; the points are our characters' growth under strain, our intertextual cooperation between authors in our community to build stronger stories and a stronger setting, and our ability to find humor in bizarre moments we came across when looking at fanfiction on the internet.

Now, for some thoughts that are more distinctly my own than the general community attitudes above. Firstly, in the original post, ladydragon76 mentions, "I promise you, typos and bad formatting included, fandom NEEDS every last one of your creations." Learning correct spelling, punctuation and formatting (and, most of all, learning to DOUBLE-CHECK one's work—I've made numerous typos so far in this post, but I backspaced and corrected them immediately after I saw them) are important in real life, not just in fun writing. I frequently get texts or written notes from coworkers filled with chatspeak, abbreviations, typos and incorrect grammar that confuse me and slow down my ability to respond or carry out instructions. It's imperative that all young people growing up now learn correct writing format in order to communicate effectively in their future careers. Learning those tools, and putting them to good use in fanfiction, will only help them down the road. Disregarding the rules of writing only teaches bad habits they will need to unlearn as adults.

Secondly, while writing fanfiction is fun, I personally wouldn't bother with it if I wasn't going to put my every greatest effort into it, and make the final product as perfect and professional as I could. To put it more generally, there's no point in doing something if I'm not going to do it right. As an admin on our wiki, and one of our active members working to make backup copies of older works for future rehosting, I treat my PPC hobby with as much careful attention to detail as I do my actual, paying career. This is because, while I do them for "fun" (or at least, working on them and being able to show quality results makes me feel accomplished and valuable), "fun" does not mean shoddy or quick work, but rather complete, professional efforts I can be proud of. I see no reason to expect any less from anyone else.

—doctorlit, letting his philosophy show a bit

---

Right, now that the sarcasm's out of the way, have a measured response to your points that's largely in line with the FAQ

1) Writing Mary Sues is not an important step. It's a largely unavoidable one. A Mary Sue character, according to the definition we use here, is one that makes the entire story about themselves, being the centre of attention, and twisting the universe of the original work and the characters within it purely to sate the author's fantasies. A Mary Sue is a character you should try and avoid writing, and while it's good practice to learn from your mistakes, LD76 saying they're the author they are today because of all the Mary Sues they wrote is like me saying I'm a good pinball machine repairwoman because of all the times I screwed up some simple wiring jobs and made a valuable mid-'60s Gotty start belching smoke from its motor board.

2) AUs are not inherently bad things. In fact, the PPC is in favour of good AU stories! Our general ethos is less about rigid canon compliance and more about what Huinesoron of this parish terms canon-friendliness. Put it like this: if you're writing an interesting AU in which the Lord of the Rings is crossed over with, ooh, I dunno, Mass Effect or something, and everyone's in character and acting like the people they are in the source material, then we don't have a problem with it and will indeed praise it to the skies. Conversely, if you get a lot of trivia right but Aragorn wanders around acting like an entitled twerp with a broom up his back passage, then we are going to have a problem with it.

3) So lots of people like your terrible Mary Sue fanfiction. If I may be blunt, so what? Lots of people like Burger King food, myself included. That doesn't make it healthy. Like I said above, writing Suefic is largely unavoidable when you're starting out; you just learn how not to do it and write better OCs and have a better grasp of the canon characters and how they operate. That doesn't make writing Suvian characters good.

4) There are doubtless some people out there who view themselves as fandom police, and these people are rightly viewed as really, really strange. We are not those people. It's SOP around here not to tell badfic authors that the PPC has sporked their work, nor do we leave nasty comments. The PPC is, at heart, an organization dedicated to crafting constructive criticism in a way that at least tries to be funny. Neshomeh's missions are a great example of this if you want to check them out.

5) Since there is no chance in hell of you having read this far, happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp. =]

6) There is no point six.

I disagree, to a point, but in the interest of providing full context to those wondering what's going on, look here and look up Alex Anaheim's "open letter to the fandom". I lost the link unfortunately, but basically the dude was being extremely rude and ranted about how AUs and Mary Sues were "ruining the fandom" (Which, for those not in the TF fandom, let me tell you it's been "ruined" by everything from Beast Wars to fans writing official comics) and how if he saw one more he would gouge his eyes out.

I expect this was posted here because honestly his attitude echoed somee of the same ones that have been put on display here. Apparently I was wrong when I told PC he was overestimating how little people care about us.

I liked the mission, even though I didn't know anything about the canon.

The whole thing where Richard and Marina obliquely build up the plan because they know that if anyone spells out the plan in detail, it has to go wrong because that's just how things work in stories was funny.

And instant portal was certainly the right reaction to that unfortunate (I hope) typo.

Using a neuralyzer to set up for the kill was a good idea.

Any shred of dignity Ricard had left went down the drain when he took his still sheathed swordstick and waved it at the mini, to the latter’s glee.
Who’s Ricard? A mini-Agent?

The dummy had also take another appearance once the Wraith took possession of it.
That’s a weird sentence. The correct past perfect would be "had taken". But since the dummy taking a new appearance happened either while or after (not before) the Wraith taking possession of it, you need either past tense or past perfect in both cases or, if you want different tenses, should shift them around: "The dummy also took another appearance once the Wraith had taken possession of it. "

Do you intentionally treat the unbelievable hair and whining eyes like they are persons (who should actually be "which" in both cases)? In a weird way, it works for me.

‘She just transfers [...] if that’s her level in English,” she said ...
There’s the mismatched quotation mark Anonymous mentioned.

Marina grunted, slipping through more pages of the manga to find scenes confirming this.
Are you sure you got the right word? You may have meant "flipping".

Complete with a cable linking the Sue and him.
I’m confused. Why is the cable linking the Sue and Richard? Or is it meant to link the Sue and the bird? Why is the bird male?

... he hissed, her face getting more and more angry with every word.
Did Richard suddenly turn female?

How bad it is?
Should be "How bad is it?"

Did you ever heard about the internet version of trolls?
Should be "hear" (infinitive).

... in the sole purpose of stirring up hate, wouldn’t it?” She said ...
Since the sentence that started with part of what she said, is continued with "she said, looking mildly annoyed", "she" should not be capitalized. (Yes, even when she said more than one sentence.)

Plan work better when people know how they work.
Shouldn’t this be "Plans" (plural)?

“I guess that would work,”she went back to the Sue and the other characters discussing ...
There is at least a space missing. But I don’t believe that "she went back ..." works as a speech tag. Thus, these should actually be two sentences.

... the Sue acted all high-and saintly ...
Don’t you need another hyphen there?

You mean, we apply the plan which give us a chance of killing her?
Should be "gives" (third person present tense).

... Richard said, stopping dead in its tracks.
Should be "his".

HG

I believe I saw a misplaced quote somewhere in the first half of it. Sorry I can't remember where. I am also sorry that I can't say why I didn't finish reading it.

CIPHER REACTS!

Awww, the opening scene is sooo adorable, with Richard unintentionally playing with Yale. :D

"Yale didn't think it was a really impressive throw" killed me.

"Yale approached him at this moment, only for Richard to move his leg away when the mini tried to lick it." Okay, is Yale going to become the most adorable mini ever? Because I thought having an educated Balrog would be the pinnacle.

Please tell me Rick and Mari are going to Magical Girl themselves! Oh please, oh please, oh please...

How does "a stereotypic representation of a Londonian" look? A moustache? A golf cap? A monocle?

Moaning toast? Oo And I though Cryberry Pie from Chowder was bad.
__________________________________________________

*Japan-picker wakes up* Her name makes completely no sense grammar-wise! First of all - BOTH 'TACHIBANA' AND 'TANAKA' ARE SURNAMES! THAT'S LIKE AN AMERICAN CALLED BANNER COLBERT.

Next! The possibilities to represent Tachibana in kanji are as follows: ricefield & middle (田中), many & middle (多中), many & relationship (多仲), another & middle (他中), shelf & low (棚下), shelf & summer (棚夏), many & name & congratulation (多名賀)

NEXT! Representation of Tanaka in kanji is either 橘 or 立花

There is NO POSSIBLE WAY for this name to be composed of kanji symbols for 'god' (神), 'beauty' (美), and 'mystery' (謎) [not 'mysterious' because kanji represent singular NOUNS]

Okay... I'm calm now. The Japan-picker goes to slumber.
____________________________________________________

I feel like this fic is physically weakening me. . .

Whoa boy, that was one heck of a ride. I know absolutely nothing about PMMM, but you made it sound bad enough for me to gain a scope of the fic. Besides some grammar errors I don't believe there is much I could talk about. I like it!

...or its masterpiece sequel, Thousand Year Door.

No gimmicks. No minigames. Just action.

Have you ever read A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeline L'Engle? One of the best ways to get small-to-middle-sized kids interested in multidimensional geometry. Okay, I'm just saying that because it's what got me interested back in elementary school. It's good anyway.

My gift to you is a tessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssseract. It's a hybrid between a tesseract and a snake. It's very friendly and doesn't bite, although it moves very strangely.

--Key is definitely not just trying to one-up Larfen

Here's a water bottle, a selection of House scarves for you to choose from, and some popcorn to eat while you read the important stuff and/or random missions! :D

Come on in, grab a chair, after finding us through Legendary Badfics I'm sure you could use one.

For your newbie gifts, take this Replica Holocron and mini Pensieve.

And since I see no one else had asked yet, what House are you in?

So you'll always look cool without trying. :) And greetings to a fellow American!

But I don't have anything important to say, so I'll just give you this cup of — you know what, take the hamster as well.

Welcome, young four-dimensional cube-analog. Always good to get a break from all these bloody third-dimension knobs, am I right?
More dimensions, more love, I always said.

My gift to you is: a tesseresseresseresseresseresseract.
It's like a normal tesseract, but way, waaay better.

Hello! Welcome! Please enjoy this hypoallergenic Cheshire cat.

Please have a box of black-hole chocolates. Hope you'll enjoy your stay at the madhouse. Wait long enough and you'll be crazy enough to envisage writing.

Here is one Royal Ice Cream Container. You just close the lid, say a flavor, and open it up again, and bam! Instant ice cream! It's like Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, except you choose the flavor.

Here's a bracelet made of copper. On Scadrial, the Terris used these to store memories. Have fun!

Heya, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

*waves* Glad you like my stuff! Sorry for scarring you with those missions, though. ^^; May I recommend Neshomeh's agents Supernumerary and Ilraen?

Hope you like it here!

Have one of my own shed feathers, a replica of Riptide that turns into a working pen, and a Golden Snitch with a Poke Ball engraving!

Here, have these silence-cancelling headphones. They're just constantly screaming. I'm sure you'll find a use for them.

As yar newbie gift, have this replica of the One Ring, which allows you to use Wingardium Leviosa when worn on your pinky finger!

This magic shovel digs up...

...annoying dogs. What's Toby Fox doing here?

Welcome! Welcome! Make yourself comfortable, and have a slice of Infinite Pizza.



Harry Potter and PJO? Please be my friend already! :D

Main reason is that we vote over everything else important, so why not this?

After that, there's the question of what the mod powers actually are. I figure long bans (> a day, or maybe a week tops) need a community discussion and a vote. That sort of thing might even need to happen on the Board for clarity's sake.

The mods are there, I think, for fast-acting deescalation of unconstitutional things with warnings, then kicks, then if someone un-kicks themselves and keep behaving badly, a short ban.

Now, there's the question of who to give kick/ban rights to. I would nominate Iximaz, since she's in chat a lot and I figure she's a sane, level-headed person who would be responsible with these sort of powers.

If we're going to have an election, we need people campaigning. Here's my speech: .

I'm not a PG. I don't even have Permission -- because I've been working and reworking the concept for my spinoff since March (Larfen can vouch that this is approximately true), looking at the same two characters from different angles and in different scenarios. I don't like to do anything hastily, which is a good quality in a mod: I won't ban people willy-nilly.

But lest you think me a wimp who will let trolls slide by, I am an adamant rule-follower. For instance, I believe I have adhered perfectly to the Constitution during my five months here. If you want another example, one of my agent bios is just about finished and I would be happy to post it; I worked hard to make sure he fit the rules of PPC canon and can field any and all questions.

I will ban a user after all other methods of de-escalation have been tried -- steps which might look something like this: once one or more parties have been established to be behaving irrationally and/or rudely, asking them to take a break (politely, or course). If they refuse to comply, I would begin with a temporary ban (if the software allows), and if they are still causing problems after their enforced holiday, a permanent ban. Of course, with particularly egregious violations such as a user threatening harm, some of these steps may be skipped, and the community will probably have to convene to discuss the incident.

The above is not intended as a proposal for a specific system for banning users, but rather as an illustration of what I think being a mod means (maybe I should've gone for some rhetoric about upholding the spirit of the community, but that kind of warm-fuzzy-make-everyone-feel-superior politics nauseates me a little bit. Which is probably why I tend to lose elections. I believe in fairness, how about that? It's true and should be deducible from my above descriptions of how I would behave as a mod).

Perhaps most importantly, I'm on the channel fairly frequently -- not constantly, but often, especially at the times Des isn't on. Sometimes I lurk, sometimes I post, but I downloaded the Discord app just so I could get notifications for this channel.

I hope you, the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, find me worthy of this responsibility.

I'm Key, and I approve this message.

Makes the most sense, I think.

I recommend rotating moderators. Give three or four people a slot on a rotating schedule of mod-powers, to be changed out once a month or something like that. Or make a mod-persona (like the Nameless Admin) which multiple users have the key/password to.

I also recommend a system of checks and balances, however simple, just in case. Something like a 3/4-majority of the room can overrule the mod. Just something to keep all sides balanced, make sure the mod and ...what, constituency? Something like that? remain on the same page about what is cool with the other party.

VM, literally always an advocate for decentralization of responsibility and power

We talked on Discord a bit, and agreed that the Board-at-large should have a say in choosing who moderates the channel.

I suggest that the PGs be the mods.

The desktop account I use is #1229, I believe. The first time I used Discord, however, I signed in with a mobile account, which is #1047.

Thank you all for for the warm welcome. I appreciate it. Interest? Probably not now. As for name I'll go with this then.

Okay now I remember. I was here 4 years ago after reading my immortal and it was a total shitfest. The rest dont come close into my memories. I may have forgotten nick name or what did I say back then but here I am coming back to post on this board.

I'm much more familiar with Classic Who than New.

Count me in for story flow, characterization and general narrative-ness.

My email is poorcynic AT me DOT com (replace with symbols where needed).

With three beta calls right on top of each other, I imagine we need all hands on deck. As it happens, I know at least a little about both canons, too; more or less depending on which Batman we're dealing with. This will keep me from spending the whole time in Minecraft. {= )

My e-mail is linked above.

~Neshomeh

So me as I am now, just made back into a teenager.

Does this mean I'd regain some of my teenage personality traits? Because if so, NO REGENERATION FOR ME PLEASE.

So... nothing's changed.

Not what I thought I'd get haha

Always wondered what the second incarnation of the Supporter would be.
Kind of imagine him as being one of those Obi-wan/Dumbledore mentor figures who's more than willing to support the heroes of the story, yet at the same time is slightly manipulative and willing to hold information back, if he doesn't think they need to know it (regardless of if they do or not).

Young Adult, Age 23-29, Caucasian, Male.

Being male would be interesting, certainly. I wonder what that's based on, though, since a bunch of us are getting it regardless of actual gender.

~Neshomeh, who will cop to being surprised when she remembers she's actually 31, good grief.

Well, they're not too far off, to be sure...

Hmm... I don't know how I'd feel about the gender swap, even if I would look kinda handsome.

At least I'm guaranteed to age down a year, and possibly more!

—doctorlit turned thirty last week. Most unfortunate.

Caucasian male, 54-61 years old.

Get off my lawn, punks.

That is, pretty much the same? Boo, that's boring.

...well now, that would certainly be different.

... So, the Mechanic is going to reincarnate into an older version of himself. Fun.

What a wonderful imagination. They even dared to age me up by one whole year...

...Yeah, sounds about right.

Sixth Alchemist says, "Uh, that's where I'm going next? I, uh, think I ought to think about health and safety a bit more. So: health... hmm... safety... yes, yes... right! Done that; where's my ultravaporator?"

hS

Suppose one wrong isn't too bad.

I'll admit, I've not ever seen Doctor Who, but I took the test anyways, and I got... a older version of me. Interesting...

Sorry for not commenting on that. It feels so incomplete that I don't know where to start, and I can't take responsibility for linking this as a completed mission on the Wiki. I recommend to rewrite, paying much more attention to what the readers need to know so that they can understand what's going on (starting with why Kelly needs a new Partner and what happened to September, and maybe you should have told Djinn's backstory before you send it on a mission).

Also sorry for being so late. I'm still spending lots of time on wrestling with Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

HG

Who is Djinn? Is it the dummy? Are the man and girl part of the fic? Why did the agents interact with the old man? Is he Dem? Who is Dem?

You appear to have a problem clarifying who's who. Having the dummy introduce itself with a name, for instance, would help clear everything up.

In short: I am having a hard time making heads or tails of what is going on. It is unclear whether this was an actual mission or a training simulation. Also, don't refer to characters with multiple terms without connecting them first.

Whose idea was it to play I-spy in the RC? The intro was cute, and I liked the mini in the summary appearing.

I liked this.

The bit with Timelord showing up in the RC and getting coaxed through the portal with promises of time paradoxes was pretty darn funny.

I also really liked the lines about the pin drop and Death's grip.

Za'kiir has a point. "I spy" is not very challenging in an RC.

However, you said that Natalie and Za'kiir would be exterminating a planet. There was a distinct lack of planets blowing up in this mission. I've been lied to!!!1111

More seriously, where did the Stu's body end up? I figure it's probably worth defining that more specifically than "portal to somewhere".

It only means more problems.

((On a personal note, I think it could be an interesting thing. Except I think said magic would pretty much substitutes itself to science and technolgy.))

I have realized that actual gameplay is very different from the dialogue and worldbuilding. Namely, almost every single class uses mana to perform their skills. It is because of that and the fact only one person has come forward saying they are mana-impaired that I jumped to the conclusion that anyone could use magic, and only a fraction of the population can't.

The following is the most complete text available ingame about how the world's magic works. It is very different compared to actual gameplay. Make of it what you will.

Magic on Lore
Magic on Lore is contained in ley lines, which run across and through the planet like haphazardly-placed latitude and longitude lines. Where these ley lines intersect, there are nexuses of magic which act as reservoirs. There are two central ley lines: the Verix, running North-South, and the Horix, running East-West. To perform feats of magic, a mage must draw on the magic contained in one of Lore's ley lines or nexuses.

Drawing from Ley Lines
The largest nexuses is the core of the planet; it contains the most pure magic available, and is centered where the Verix overlaps the Horix. There is no single mage strong enough to tap into this nexus, though it is rumored the Blue Mage or the Mad Weaponsmith have not revealed the full extent of their power, and they will neither confirm or deny their ability to utilize the central nexus. Normal nexuses and ley lines can be tapped into and drawn from safely, in controlled amounts.

As yet, no regular mage has been known to draw directly from the Core. Doing so would be like tapping a person's heart to draw blood: the pressure of the flow of blood/magic escaping would be overwhelming.

The magician would be flooded with pure magic, overcome in a deluge of power which would burn through their physical, mental, and magical veins. Their stores of mana - magical will and stamina - would be destroyed. They would be "burnt out" and lose the ability to perform magic... and their lives.

Severing another mage's connection to the ley lines IS possible, but dangerous. The potential for lashback - which would negatively affect the severing mage - is enormous. Most choose not to risk it.

Nexuses as Portals
Nexuses, formed where two or more ley lines cross, do not only act as reservoirs of magic on Lore; they can also be portals to the para-elemental plane of magic. On rare occasions, mages can directly transport themselves to the plane through the manipulation of these portals.

You may have encountered one of these portals in Lore already. Legend has it that if a magus looks inside themself and follows the pull of a focus stone, they will be led towards the nearest nexus. In that respect, it is both focus stone and lodestone.

While ley lines are fine for everyday magical needs, if the spell you are attempting requires massive amounts of magic, it would be wise to situate yourself near a nexus. The availability of extra power could mean the difference between life and death. IF you're strong enough to channel it all!

Focus stones, a Primer
Each mage on Lore has the ability to utilize a focus, usually made of a rare stone. These stones can allow the mage to hook into the ley lines and nexuses of magic which transverse the planet, and can guide them to the lines and reservoirs of magic across the world.

With practice and a stone for which they feel an affinity, a mage may also use the focus stone to enhance, to boost, their power. The crystalline structure of many stones allows it to hold the focused power mages channel through them.

As an example, think of a small tendril of a mage's power being funneled into a gemstone. That small jot of power bounces off the facets inside of the stone, gaining energy as it rebounds off the planes. That extra energy boosts power, increasing the strength of the magical working.

With the proper focus and will, a mage may find their strength greatly enhanced, the power of their spells increased manyfold. Of course, that is for normal mages. With the... unique... magic found in the Blue Mage or the Mad Weaponsmith, who knows? These two rare mages have not allowed a proper study of themselves to be made.

Source: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21099744 , bottom of page, in spoiler tag, highlighted.

If some people can throw fireballs, and some people can't, then pretty soon, there won't be anyone left who can't throw fireballs. And since you said it's only a very small percentage that can't use magic, things that would have put them on equal footing, like firearns, would never have been invented, either because the resources wouldn't have been available, they wouldn't have been necessary (if your army has magic, you won't pay attention to making the tiny fraction of the population that doesn't battle ready), or because anyone who tried would have been assassinated by the unsavory parts of magic society.

Are you asking whether an in-universe character should choose to use magic? Whether they should be trying to get rid of magic? Whether this is a fair system? Whether this makes for a good setting? What?

hS

I know I certainly wouldn't make a world with that sort of thing.
I mean, it's that butterfly effect sort of thing, isn't it?
Smallest changes to anything in history, suddenly everything's different. Everybody having the potential to create fire immediately, and straight-up defeat death right there, is, I mean, a pretty bloody big change from our history, right?
We've been positively ruled by, among other things, our climates and incoming death, for years (and still are,) and just those two examples shift things all over the place.

It'd be a pretty wild place, is what I'm saying. Endless 'what ifs.' going on.
I'd not do that because it sounds bloody hard.
Course, thoughts'll probably change with more information (how hard learning magic is, effects of using it, limitations,) but, y'know. My thoughts as of now.

"Look at the author’s note," Charlotte said, nodding. "Thoughts are only shown with a single parenthesis. At least they’re consistent!"
Aren’t that actions?

Also, there may be a very tiny continuity problem:

1. Charlotte giggled and bounced in place when she saw the mini, then grabbed her remote and portaled it away.
   
2. Ix grabbed the mini and tossed it through a portal. "How many d’you reckon we’ll get?"
   
3. Charlotte grabbed the mini in her teeth the instant she and Ix appeared in the next scene. Ix glanced up at her horn, and then frowned at Charlotte’s saddlebags, concentrating. A dark green glow surrounded her horn and the saddlebags opened, the remote activator floating out. Ix grinned and opened a portal, and Charlotte tossed the mini through.

So far, it seems that everybody's said what needed to be said.

One teeny, tiny error in Luna's dialogue:
Luna shook her head and blinked in confusion, then stared at the agents. “We can feel our head clearing at last,” she said. “And we thank ye for your assistance.”

I know that you're trying to make clear that Luna has returned to normal, but your Early Modern English is off. "Ye" is nominative; it's "you" in the oblique cases. Perhaps have Luna talk to just one of the agents (and thus change the pronoun to "thee"), then bring in the other. For example, consider something like this:
then stared at Charlotte. "We can feel our head clearing at last," she said. "And we thank thee for thine assistance." Turning to Ix, she continued, "And our thanks to thee as well."

It sounds like a ten-year-old's first effort at fic-writing! They want to create this cute guy and have the canons fall in love with him; there's little grasp of grammar or storytelling.

I guess you have to start somewhere, but I predict this one is going to be somebody's old shame someday!

Hates spiders, but can talk to them? Now that's something nasty to do... You know what, since it's her special talent, maybe it should have been her cutie mark... ;)

'Walks on four like a pro', That's really fun... Until you do the math, and remember that Ix has been a werewolf for... 14 years, right? Still well done.

Vampire Pinkie Pie? Keep a close eye on the fourth wall.

Wait, covering anything in dark chocoate makes it infinitely better. Watch that typo.

Ah, nice way of showing Lottie is more old-fashioned.

And now the shipping is just getting more 'text' and less 'sub'.

Fun way to present the charges. I should plagiarize take inspiration from that.

NOOO. Not Lunar Republic! Where will I get these episodes now? Oh wait, that's New Lunar Republic. Nevermind.

And now the subtlety reached NanoFate HomuMado levels. miss the days where I didn't do shipping.

Kudos for the mission.

Wow, Charlotte really got the short end of the vampire-with-supernatural-power stick, didn't she? (That's one of the few interesting things her 'verse added to the vampire mythos, actually--the idea that notable traits from a human get further enhanced once they get bitten, like Jasper's presumed charisma and the love interest's super-presumed empathy/perception. Also, I thought Alice's specific brand of future-vision was cool.)

OK, random defense of cheesy, overly-abused vampire novel series over. Ix and Charlotte were really funny in this one, whether they were playing off each other or the fic's rampant idiocy. Midnight Star sounds like a decent name for a genderbent!Luna, but other than that, nothing.

The chocolate joke and the family jewels jokes were my particular favorites XD

This episode... "Starstruck Love"!

Pfff... Alfie, although you have a cute name and many descendants, I would've still slain you.

Lottie is a spider whisperer?! Hahahaha! What did she do when she was alive? Was she an arachnologist?

Okay... I believe that's the first time I see a script-fic. It's... kinda weird.

Okay, learning more about Lottie's badfic past. Good, that's always good.

Come on, Ix, cut the girl some slack. "Dun, dun, DUUUUN" is a fun thing to say!

Looking gifted horse in the mouth, Lottie? Literally? :P

Pff... the jokes just write themselves. Beautiful, ladies. Beautiful.

For some reason, hearing "lunar republic" made me think of a Star Wars/My Little Pony crossover—HOLD ON, HE'S NINE THOUSAND YEARS OLD!?

"puffed-up, pompous parasite" as alliterations are amazing.

Huh, interesting method of assassination. Definitely original.






Overall, it was an enjoyable mission. I would probably enjoy it more, were I more into My Little Pony, but you made it entertaining with a spidery beginning (ALL SPIDERS MUST DIE!), and the mission was peppered with good humour. I feel like the pacing was good, too.
.
.
.
And the ending. As you said, it falls kinda flat, and is quite corny, but when taken the story as a whole, I don't think it doesn't make a huge impact, enough to make the whole story bad.

Overall, I give it 4 stars outta 5.