Jun 2016 Archive, part b

Like, it's part of the type of fanfiction that's an exploration of how a character would act in different situations, and the author wants to explore how a male character would respond to the experience of being pregnant, but wants to keep it separate from thinking about how that character's life would have been different had they been born female. I mean, in reality I've yet to find one good enough to justify that justification. And GRAH this was a stupid fic.

--Key knows no one will see her reply, yet still flings it into the void

And yeah, the whole mass magic pregnancy is bad enough on its own that a little mpreg isn't going to turn too many heads. XD

...decided "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if a bunch of students got pregnant all at once?" and then proceeded to copy each other for the "plot". -_-

There are two other fics with exact same premise where a potions accident causes an entire class to get pregnant. And yes, they make just as much sense as this one.

I'm still looking for something I'd like Ix and Charlotte to tackle; possibly a crossover, but nothing I've set my sights on yet. I haven't really found anything that's "clicked" but once I have I'll start writing. :)

There is a cat that scares off several supernatural baddies, and a dog that fights spirits and demons.

This world imply difficulty. Convincing someone that a series with great first person, a snarky and awesome main character and a cast just of the same quality around, said protagonist having to use his wits just as much, more in fact, as his powers to win the day, with many pop culture references ready to go in most circumstances, and an hint of pragmatism (the Head of Darth Wannabe when Dresden answered to his 'callenge' by pointing his gun at him XD), great world-building, supernatural monsters who can still look like the traditional deal while many of them have got some changes rejunaveting the archetypes, a escalade in the crazy awesome through the series, and a credible one to boot, emotional moments varying for heart-melting to tear-fountain, with the funny also present and so many other things is worth reading isn't a challenge in any way I can think about. You're already a fan of the Dresden Files, only thing left is beginning to read them.

Now, the only weak spot I can think about is perhaps a slow start with the very first books, but they're still great read. Investigations won't be the main focus of the rest of the series though.

I think it's bad sign the author couldn't use pink for the pun.

(broette? I'm not sure what the correct way to address you is)

As they say in the Daily Beast article, most of the major plot points have been leaked for a while now. This is just a summary of the play itself.

I apparently can't fiddle with the bot. That'll fall on Tomash I guess, since technically he's the only op.

What typo, though?

I always supported that typo.

There's a total of three or so people in the world who can make a decent story involving time travel, and I somehow doubt they were involved in this production.

I do find some joy in the irony of them destroying the canon that the fans were fans of in order to create fanservice for the fans who are now (very reasonably) upset because the canon has been ruined in their attempts to create fanservice.
It's a bit like improving the efficiency of your racehorse by breaking all of its legs and then strapping the creature to a large truck that's constantly driving in the opposite direction of the racetrack.

This has to be a joke. There is no way that this can be serious. It's either some form of joke or a very clever conspiracy, because there's no way that something that makes me want to drown myself in Bleepfee without even getting through the entire thing can come from the same person who wrote the Harry Potter books. They're obviously pulling some kind of joke to shock everybody into not speculating and ruining the plot of the play. That must be it.

"Every conversation in this alternate reality ends by people crossing their wrists and saying: For Voldemort and valor.

Every girl at Hogwarts is hoping Scorpius - known as the Scorpion King - will ask them to the Blood Ball. The other kids do his homework."

I'm pretty sure this was taken from the My Immortal version of the epilogue.

Remember Pottermore? That lovely little website containing backstory and why X didn't do Y or what have you?

As our investigations currently stand, the longest period that may be relived without the possibility of serious harm to the traveller or to time itself is around five hours. We have been able to encase single Hour-Reversal Charms, which are unstable and benefit from containment, in small, enchanted hour-glasses that may be worn around a witch or wizard’s neck and revolved according to the number of hours the user wishes to relive.

All attempts to travel back further than a few hours have resulted in catastrophic harm to the witch or wizard involved. It was not realised for many years why time travellers over great distances never survived their journeys. All such experiments have been abandoned since 1899, when Eloise Mintumble became trapped, for a period of five days, in the year 1402. Now we understand that her body had aged five centuries in its return to the present and, irreparably damaged, she died in St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries shortly after we managed to retrieve her. What is more, her five days in the distant past caused great disturbance to the life paths of all those she met, changing the course of their lives so dramatically that no fewer than twenty-five of their descendants vanished in the present, having been “un-born”.

Finally, there were alarming signs, during the days following Madam Mintumble’s recovery, that time itself had been disturbed by such a serious breach of its laws. Tuesday following her reappearance lasted two and a half full days, whereas Thursday shot by in the space of four hours. The Ministry of Magic had a great deal of trouble in covering this up and since that time, the most stringent laws and penalties have been placed around those studying time travel.

Claiming that it was a "prototype" Time-Turner that didn't have the five-hour limit is exactly the sort of thing a Suethor would claim. The fact that time was pretty much fine after Albus and Scorpius' wild hijinks is exactly the sort of hand-waving a Sue would do. A girl claiming to be Voldemort's and Bellatrix' daughter is exactly something a Sue would do.

Conclusion: Jack Thorne is a Suethor.

Because he's the one who actually wrote the play; JK Rowling helped him and considers it canon (!!!), but she wasn't the main writer.

All I can say, if she considers this canon:

Yeah that is. Definitely something.

I am indeed 31, so no, Matt, not quite the same day as your parents' wedding. My day was fine. I had to work, but it was a short shift, and I had cake and ice cream later, and it was good. {= )

~Neshomeh

I deleted a few paragraphs at one point there; looks like merging it didn't happen quite as smoothly as I'd thought. ^^;

And heh, you're awfully excited about this. My face is all like this right now.

Would that count?

Plus they tend to be extremely arrogant; I've found that the more powerful a Sue is, the less likely they are to use their brains. It's kind of interesting, really.

While id does have plenty of Google hits, if you switch to past year the youtube videos are the only thing that shows up.

Shame I figured "Harry Potter and the Surprise Package" would make the fit.

It's a surprisingly faithful adaptation of Treasure Island, in SPACE. With steampunk solar ships! And aliens! What's not to love? :D

And heh, thanks. I am, too; I feel like writing a Time War survivor is easier than writing a pregnancy. >.> Ix and Lottie will probably be up next, but then we'll be seeing some more of Ave and Zeb.

Especially since it happened on three consecutive days, not three consecutive posts in one day. In my book, you've done nothing wrong.

I really enjoyed writing it—Treasure Planet is just such a beautiful movie and I might have fallen in love with the entire thing. One of Disney's best and most underappreciated adaptations, in my opinion.

As for the Aviator, she'll start talking to others once she's made her decision, but can you really blame her for not wanting any more attention?

I, uh, take it you liked it, then?

I think it's an excellent idea, Key (that is your nickname, correct? I wanted to say "Cat," for some reason...). You have my--*realizes EPL already made that reference* er, you have--um, oh gosh, I didn't think I'd need to do improv--line, please!

-Alleb

... to clean up my two graph-posts for 'publication' (and Kaitlyn's response to Alleb too).

hS

But given that this is near the bottom of the page AND that the Plort thread is now up, I would suggest that you wait for the Plort thread to drop off of the front page and create a new post linking back to this one so that this can be given the attention and brainstorming it deserves.

"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
-- James 2: 14-17, The Holy Bible (New International Version)

Sign petitions. Vote for changes to these laws. Do something. Because while prayer might make you feel like you're doing something for the families and memories of those affected, nobody just prays for the families and memories of people ploughed into by drunk drivers; far-reaching laws were enacted and, surprise surprise, rates of drunk driving (and therefore the incidence of fatalities) dropped like a rock.

I remember when you people had Sandy Hook. I remember everyone who offered their prayers, who said "Never again". And guess what? The United States has had, at the last count, 998 mass shootings since then. Nearly a thousand. How many more people have to die before you people stop praying and start helping? Because I guarantee you that the only person you're actually helping when you sit in a dark room with your eyes closed wishing the bad things away is you.

I'm sorry. This one hit a nerve. I don't begrudge anybody their faith, and taking refuge in that faith after an atrocity is perfectly reasonable; it is not my intention to attack the faithful for their beliefs, and if that's what you're taking from this rant then I apologise. It's just that when it comes to the mass murders of innocent people with privately-owned automatic weaponry you can buy in seven bloody minutes, I get sick and tired of prayer being the only thing people try in order to prevent them.

I'm also sure your prayers are appreciated, but while the spiritual is important, we have to align those thoughts with the temporal world. Do more to prevent this. You have a voice. Pray with it, and shout with it, and use it to speak up for the dead so that more innocent souls don't join them. Please.

I'm just sick of people being killed en masse and even more so of people insisting that there's nothing that can be done about it.

/r/news delivered an "apology," however, there's a reason the post is about to hit the negatives. Several, actually:

-Their lack of judgement lead them to delaying the removal of a moderator so toxic it almost killed me way too long.
-The mods claimed that all of the crap going down was related to brigades and hate speech. This is entirely false. All posts removed were removed for, as said earlier, mentioning Radical Islam (note the capital "R") and blood donations.
-All in all, they have failed a majority of Reddit's collective population as a whole, and are refusing to acknowledge this, instead blaming it on the "troll" scapegoat whose mere existence is tenuous at best and occupying negative space at worst in times like this.
-The admins aren't helping either. It's strongly implied their statement they made and the actions they took following the controversy were really just an attempt to kick /r/The_Donald off of /r/all. I don't support Trump, but suppressing a non-hate sub, period is unacceptable on Reddit. At this rate, Spez (the admin behind this part of the controversy) will become the next Ellen Pao despite being her replacement specifically to fix everything wrong with her position.

Where's a giant bucket of popcorn when you need one? On second thought, not even that will help you endure this drama...

I mean it doesn't help that I've been losing my mind for various reasons but holy balls tumblr is in two camps right now. "This was 1000% Islamic terrorism and if you try to even discuss gun control I will literally kill you" and everyone sane who is slowly going mad with grief.

There always seems to be some poor excuse for a human who thinks that hurting innocent Muslims counts as revenge against ISIS.

They're using Muslims (especially ISIS) as a scapegoat to not have to deal with LGBT.
I can't be the only one getting a start-of-WWII vibe, right?

That the US of A has the same rate of gun-related crimes as Somalia. Don't have a source on that, though.

Understand? That's far more up in the air, I think.

monsters.

Least, not in theory. A few houses don't have Big Sibs, the system doesn't get much attention, that sort of stuff.
Which, er, might just mean that it's dead, actually.
I tried joining one and that sort of poofed into nothingness, at least. Perhaps my natural charisma just scared everyone off.

Er. Speaking of sibs.
Anyone open in Grave Energy, Two-by-Four, or Skull Goblet? Skoblet? Assuming it's all still working?

As a matter of Hogwarts Houses, I would probably be Hufflepuff because I don't really fit the mold for the other Houses. If I were a more ideal version of myself, I'd be a Ravenclaw.

My favorite ES game is certainly Skyrim, with favorite race being Argonian because of the racial powers and roleplay potential.

Uh-oh. Shouldn't have immediately thought of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans for the first ice cream request.

I've only read one other agent because I was... foolish. Let's just say it was a Legendary Badfic done primarily by Trojie. The only reason I'm still sane is that I only read the sporking and wasn't a fan of the source material.

No, I'm not big on the whole "self-preservation of sanity" thing. Why do you ask? XD

Hey, thanks! I definitely read the Original Series before deciding to join, and read the Constitution, too. The Wiki has been quite helpful with the quirkier pieces of story.

In terms of fandoms, I like The Elder Scrolls, Harry Potter (of course), and the Symphony of Ages books. Been meaning to get into the Dresdenverse, too, but haven't gotten there yet!

Listen to it again. Now, at the very end of the trailer where they pan out to show the ruins the Covenant and the UNSC are fighting in, look at the top right corner.

See how the ground seems to slope upwards in triangular shape? Notice how the lyrics speak of two adversaries who've "been here before"? That it's the "same old score"?


The Spirit of Fire somehow made it to the Ark. They are fighting the Covenant remnant that was left behind during the Battle of Installation 00.

I've heard a lot of things about the game— mostly negative— so how is the state of the game right now? I hear that you essentially have to buy the base game and all of the DLC on top of that in order to have a semblance of a decent game.

Aside from the price of all that, y'know. Might as well get the Witcher III and play a complete AAA title for a great price, right?

I saw some of the intended changes amongst the characters...

After all of this, it will be hard to do another expansion.

Also curious about how Assassin's Creed will do as a movie, and then as a franchise. After all, everything after AC3 is not that good IMHO. Certainly looking forward to seeing it.

And yeah, that Luxray fight was always ridiculously difficult when I was younger. When I was older and picked PMD up again, it ended up being quite easy—took out the Luxray first, then all the Luxio. Playing as a Skitty with Sing helped immensely. :P

Though if you want to know what he looks like as a Shinx...

This is awesome. Now I know why I wanted to see it. On the other hand... This means that... Wait, not I don't want to give you ideas. My Immortal will be bad enough without... that.

Little slice of normal life, or as normal it can get here in PPC, is so sweet. Besides, it makes quite a time we didn't see the Dives. Seeing agents can have something else than Duty in their life is always great.

...was some bizarre shipping. Harry/Sue was teased but never made official (as far as I know). *shakes head* Badficcers gonna badfic.

And yeah. :) It's a small step but a necessary one.

The farther you read, the more it seems like it could be a troll, but every now and then some line or other will pop up that makes you go "no, it was written by a ten year old". Poe's Law at its finest, I guess.

I guess we'll see if I actually write that conversation or not, because on the one hand, it could be interesting, but on the other, it might also wind up being dreadfully dull and full of clichés. Besides, "Mum, I'm pregnant and there is no biological father" would go over like a sack of bricks. :P

It wasn't exactly a shout-out so much as that seemed to be the most potent alcohol I could find short of pure ethanol. I figure even Time Lord biology wouldn't be able to handle that much.

And yeah, the "He-who-hated-his-fame" was amusing, but the rest of the fic is so awful I can barely give it a pass.

Life in other canons can have no midi-chlorians just fine, so I would think a lack of them in disguise would make sense. Certainly using the Force in a flashy manner, e.g. Sith lightning, would be out of place in non-Star Wars realms. Disguises tend to be maintained even when making arrests; ergo, no Force abilities for the whole sporking.

As for really subtle powers, e.g. "Jedi Mind Tricks" or passive senses, are more dicey. I realize I'm just repeating myself when I say that senses are "translated" from the disguise to the mind of the Agent, solving the problem of blind Force-sensitive Agents, but I'll say it one last time here anyway.

And so much more...

It's established on the Wiki somewhere that the DORKS changes biology, rather than simply projecting an image; hence, Agents Jay and Acacia not feeling getting shot with an arrow until they switched out of their disguises.

Force powers, as I understand them, vary significantly depending on the author in scope and potency, so I wouldn't consider that a safe source for powers. Then again, I haven't read any of the Expanded Universe.

...allow agents to go flinging people and objects around on a whim. IIRC, it enhances their mind, allows them to sense things around them, and probably a heck of a lot of other stuff I can't think of right now because I'm just a casual fan.

As long as they don't go showing off with the flashier aspects of their powers, I think it would be fine; the Aviator, for instance, always gives herself her time sensitivity while in disguise, first because she knew she would have to get used to it at some point and later because it had become such a natural thing to her that taking it away makes her feel blind.

though she's probably not the best example in things not Suvian...

and with all of the other points and the text above them, I'd imagine it'd be safe to assume that, as it knocks about with DNA and whatnot, it won't work on non-organics.
Immortality continues to be out of reach for Finch, the poor bugger.

I just wonder what would happen with people who have prosthetics.
It's probably just as safe to assume that they go the same place clothes go, but I do like the image of a hulking troll-beast with a wooden peg the size of his toe for a left foot.
You could play some brilliant pranks with a disguise generator. 'Footstool in my appendix' type brilliant pranks.

Ssshhhh! That was my idea! I thought I was being creative!

...oh, I think that was just a spoiler for a spinoff I don't even have Permission to write yet. Great.

Anyway, expect an exploration of the topic... Eh, some time in the future, there's no way to predict how long this will take me.

--Key

P.S. I really like "wrought" and "mardy." I may find a use for them in Real Life, even...

Chakkik is almost always in disguise, because he's gotten sick and tired of people screaming at his natural form.

I've read a whole lot worse written in the name of the PPC. Don't worry. You're fine.

--Key

I created a page for Kelly Stone following this advice and using information from the profile in your permission request.

To be able to tweak it, you may need to create a wiki account. I didn't find User:Bramandin, but you may go by another name on Wikia?

You may also want to check what I did for your agents on the glossary; apparently putting them up there is the first step to do.

Why do you say that this interlude isn't good? I admit that I expected it to go somewhere and was a bit surprised when it just ended, but although it misses a climax or punchline, it's a nice slice of life showing what your agents are doing when they're not on a mission. I'd say it's a good start.

HG

Kelly did say that they were random mooks, which I thought meant that they weren't sentient. Of course there are orc agents that have to worry about cannibalism.

I fixed the console.

I find memes are triggering.

How would you suggest I put in more personality, assuming the problem wasn't strictly trying to use a prompt?

Are you implying that members of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum would be so careless that they would try and disguise themselves as something inappropriate? What do you take us for - casual fans?

Honestly, some people...

(I know, I'm a terrible person for not reading it. Join the LotR people on the left.)

Anyway, my guess would be for humans to be basically acceptable because beings so similar to humans as to make no real difference seem to appear throughout Narnia; I may be completely wrong on this point.

To put it another way: IF basically-human characters appear in the Narnia series, then humans should be fine, just as they are in Star Wars despite humans technically not existing there.

If I'm wrong, then I doubt the DORKS would fix it automatically. The Ironic Overpower wouldn't let that just slide; it would be milked for all the drama and comedy it's worth.

Filius Caeli is a citizen, not a knight. ((I do not have Permission.))

((I'd add that Baron Kaitlyn was also present through her messengers, and sent a specific message - that she didn't object to Phobos taking the land west of the Hyparlink.))

((hS))

Without first congratulating Baroness Iximaz in her recent victory against the Elemm.

Honoured barons and people of Plort:

At the previous Baronial Council, a new nation was created: the Riding of Sittorese, which would dedicate itself to feeding our noble knights in their quests against the Marizu. At that time, the choice of its manner of governance was postponed until a later date - this date.

Let those who dwell in the Riding speak of its character, and of the government of their choosing; let the barons debate; let the people have their say.

((So last year I pushed through the creation of 'the Writing of Stories' as a nation in its own right; it's since grown to encompass the old Republic of Iric. Per the map, I know DawnFire and Ekyl have castles there. Its barons are Cassie, Juliette, VixenMage, and - now - July. Its provisional capital is Godreve, and as I recall Sir Ekyl demanded to be its ruler. I think I have a note somewhere that says they've adopted the Black Arrowhead as a symbol - yes, here it is.

If anyone wants to live in the Riding, they can go ahead and come up with flags and the like.

hS))

No Baronies lie fallow this day, for Barons Araeph and Cassie have been seen in the isle since the last Council was held, but one must be created anew. For Baron July has grasped once more her powers of rulership, and by the creation of a knight by the ancient code has reclaimed her powers and her Barony.

Therefore the Edict of Bast has been consulted, and the initial boundaries of her dominion have been set forth:



The words of the Edict are inviolable; all these lands now fall under the rule of Baron July. Should any wish to claim them anew, they must debate with the Baron and reach mutually-agreeable terms.

The mines of Spyration and the castle Fanvik now lie within Barony July. The towns of Godreve, Goch't, and Eksoeva lie upon its borders; she or her representatives should discuss their disposition with the representatives of Barony Cassie. Should she consider the water rights of the upper Karaktar essential to her new lands, she ought also to discuss them with Baron Kaitlyn.

((Okay, so:

-Cassie posted on June 25th; Araeph posted in July. The Edict removes them if they haven't been seen for a year before a council, so they just squeak in.

-July granted Permission without objection, so is a confirmed active Permission Giver, so gets a barony. As ever, the borders are slapped down according to arcane formulae without discussion; they can certainly be changed from this point on.

-Wechi is no longer entirely in Barony Neshomeh!

I think that's everything I needed to comment.

hS))

It has been eight months and two weeks less one day since his last trip to Ydyff, and Thanasius Ampelius, Baron of Plort and lord of the Monastery of Spectacle, found himself increasingly restless. His trip to the Academian city of Is-really Lo wasn’t productive, to say the least; he shuddered at the thought. What’s more, since his return he seemed to do a lot of nothing.

His sorties against the Marizu were few and far between, none of them worthy of song; true, he defended the small town of Gett from a horde of raucous spirits, but it seemed that aside from him nobody in Plort knew about that town anyway.

He threw the blue-backed cards he was holding down on the table with an annoyed snort.

“The game is not to your liking?” his body-double asked, putting his cards down as well. Instead he picked up one of the small crystals used to indicate mana in that game and held it against the light; it sparkled.

“That is not the problem,” the monk said, staring across the room at nothing in particular. “‘Tis a good enough game. No, I believe the problem lies in me.”

“That is rather morose, even for you, milord.” Death Dendle put the crystal down and leaned on the table. “Revu for your thoughts?”

Thanasius shrugged. “I would not know. My sojourns in the woods of Kar-eer are few and far between, and sometimes I do not even place much hope by my planned trip to Academia. I am not satisfied. Restless, even. And it bothers me.”

“Friends,” Death Dendle declared.

“Beg pardon?”

“You should go and meet your friends. You have barely left this room ever since you’ve arrived at Borrd.” The body-double waved his hand around. “Go outside.”

“You are going to pester me until I will, are you not?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” Without further ado, the Baron got up, adjusted his hood and left the room.


((Thanks to Matt Cipher for betaing.))

In which eatpraylove has been very busy.

Dame eatpraylove confronted the demon Marizu calling herself the Falcon Queen at the end of June, in the first year since her arrival. The Falcon Queen claimed to be descended from angels and gods of death as well as demons; perhaps it is fitting that she went from slaying a god impersonator to slaying a descendant of supernatural beings.

This particular Marizu also had a hired bodyguard with superhuman martial prowess. During the confrontation, he knocked one of the Blades out of the air and into a nearby rock, which chipped it. Miguel showed remarkable initiative, not only convincing a stray cat to distract the bodyguard, but picking up the chipped blade, teleporting to the barbarian, and stabbing her in the heart with it. The Falcon Queen had accidentally injured herself some time ago, so perhaps it wasn't a true victory, but eatpraylove claimed the reward for her anyway.

Alas, for much of the year, eatpraylove was lost in or mired in paperwork from the Federation of Academia, and could only track down Marizu a bit at a time. But whenever she had a chance, she sought out her next target.

In November, weeks before the anniversary of her first quest, she confronted Wendi, a Pokhemman Marizu with the strength of a young bear and the intelligence of a fish. eatpraylove initially believed the Marizu girl to be a troll, so great were Wendi's offenses. She turned out to be human, but eatpraylove channeled the power of the sun through Chris (an old Pokhemman spell) and smote the barbarian with it regardless.

Ten days after slaying Wendi, she sent out a general call for assistance: "I have set my eyes on a Marizu in Lotor, and while I know the works of the Great Professor, I am not his champion. Any who can assist me in deciding the barbarian's ultimate fate are welcome. Meet me at Castle Godreve. Payment to be discussed." Cipher the Merchant, a relatively new arrival to Plort, met her there bearing a grey spellbook and a longbow.

Dame eatpraylove brought only Chris and her loyal mare, Ami, on this quest, as five weapons and a fairy seemed a bit much for one Marizu. Unlike the Marizu she had read about so long ago, her current target respected the heroes of Medellurth even as she had a relationship (of sorts) with the legendary archer.

Cipher was mysteriously absent for weeks at a time, however, and eatpraylove still struggled to manage her affairs in the Federation. The two could not complete their quest to slay Evelyn until the following April. It was the second year since her arrival in Plort. During her absence (and with her permission), Skaer'morys the Silver had borrowed the Blades of Violet Roses for use against another Kidd Icarrios ((spellcheck)) Marizu.

When eatpraylove and Cipher returned to her manor house, she paid him with the barbarian girl's sword and a young black cat she had rescued from the Falcon Queen's camp after the latter's death. Cipher had specifically requested the only female cat in the group as a gift in celebration of his then-pending pilgrimage, and now that he had completed it and they had met again, eatpraylove saw no better time to pay her debt.

To her great surprise, Miguel appeared soon after Cipher had left, carrying the Blades of Violet Roses. "Oh...welcome home, my lady," he said. "Forgive me for leaving the house without you, but a Marizu bulletin arrived soon after your departure that caught my eye. Do you remember that history of Rockbird Lake athletics you showed me?"

"You enjoyed the passages on the Shark and the Dolphin's rivalry almost as much as I did," she said, making her way to Ami's stable. "Are you telling me they found one of those barbarians there, too?"

Miguel nodded. "The bulletin said she claimed to be a childhood friend of the Dolphin, so I set off with the Blades to correct her. But...she wasn't like I'd imagined a Marizu would be at all. She didn't focus on herself above her teammates, she wasn't stunningly beautiful, and she seemed to have legitimate training. She even apologized after I read her my list of grievances!"

eatpraylove almost tripped over her own feet (which would have hurt, given her armor). "You jest. A Marizu apologized?"

"I swear by Kanun," said Miguel. "Looking at her, I felt the way you must have felt when you found me and my mother in Natasha's tent. I thought, Here is someone who may have committed some crimes, but deserves a second chance at life. Fairies can't kill innocent creatures, so I cast a memory spell. She no longer knows the Dolphin and his team by anything other than reputation, and she lives with her mother now."

By this point, they were inside the stable already. eatpraylove finished hanging up Ami's tack and held out a hand for Miguel to land on. "I didn't realize kindness was one of your many talents. You've done well today, and I forgive your error. Now, would you please bring me Ami's brush and hoof pick?"


eatpraylove is currently getting the records of her most recent quests in order and searching for a way into the Kar'eer Forest. "Many of the paths seem open from a distance, but every time I try to take one, the trees bunch up and prevent me from going any deeper," she writes in her diary. "This is getting ridiculous, and frankly, I will not lose an endurance contest to a forest."

In addition, she has been teaching herself the magical arts of Beytah and Arpy ever since her first quest, with general success. She has received words of encouragement from other knights she knows, and a few stern words on using Beytah spells where they do not belong from Lady Iximaz. Her first attempts at Arpy were more mixed, and so she reserves those spells for festivals. She is willing to treat anyone who asks with her Beytah magic, but her skills do not extend to anything more severe than broken bones.

Since nobody bothered to archive this yet, it obviously became the archivist’s apprentice’s duty.

This Baronial Council was held from the fourth of June until the eight of June in the city of Borrd.

Attendees:
Baron Cassie
Baron Huinesoron
Lady Iximaz (a baron of Plort)
Baron Juliette the Fourth (formerly known as Dann)
Baron PC
Baron Phobos
Baron Thanasius Ampelius
Baron Neshomeh did not travel to Borrd, but she signed the Missive from Wechi presented by the archivist’s apprentice.

Non-deciding attendees:
Alleb the Odd Civilian
Dame eatpralove
Dark Civilian Aakmal
Hieronymus the hermit (and archivist's apprentice)
Knight Eshakhar
Knight Jumper
Sir Ekyl
Ye Scape-Grace

Agenda:
The Fall of Ofum – Baron Huinesoron proposing to build two new military centers, Los Taelis in southern Wechi and Ba-Korp in southern Ozerbord, and all infrastructure necessary for allowing the knights to sail into the war against the Marizu from Mei’n Payj and to fly into the war against the Marizu from Skypcht.

The Eastern Dilemma – Baron Huinesoron proposing to create a fifth nation, the Riding of Sittorese, in the underdeveloped western part of Iric.

A proposal by Lady Iximaz to give Critta-Kalthin status as a city.

A proposal by the resident baron to hold the festival celebrating victory over the ypurs at La Wunj.

Decisions:
Since none of the barons opposed, Ba-Korp has been founded in southern Ozerbord, on the border between Baronies Huinesoron and Thanasius Ampelius. By not saying anything, Baron Thanasius Ampelius has apparently agreed to expand the skyship port of Skypcht and increase the production of skyships as he sees fit.

Los Taelis has been founded near the Turaipod Heights. Although the absent Baron Neshomeh didn’t agree to anything, this proposal was supported by Dame eatpraylove, who is considered a resident of Wechi, and thus, by an application of Wechi’s common rule of non-objection, the Commonwealth of Wechi accepted responsibility for building and maintaining these military facilities.

The Riding of Sittorese has been founded. The Riders of Sittorese are permitted to choose their own form of civil government, but supplying the knights of Plort with grain (the Riding’s main purpose) is considered a military matter and the Riding is not allowed to self-govern itself out of this. This decision has been opposed by Baron Phobos. It has been supported by Baron Huinesoron, Lady Iximaz and in principle, before the last details were fixed, by Baron Juliette, Baron PC and, per signing the Missive from Wechi, by Baron Neshomeh.

Since none of the barons opposed, Critta-Kalthin has been upgraded to city status.

As far as this chronicler is aware, the Ypur Festival has not happened anywhere.

((I’m afraid I don’t hit the right Plort tone here, but it’s the best I can do. If it’s okay, I will put it on the redlink in the Plort wiki (which will force me to create a page for the Missive from Wechi to avoid a new redlink).

HG))

The sprawling fortress of Worhkshap seemed to constantly echo with noise. Even now, in the early evening, silence was a rare commodity. Wandering scholars and lecturers were allowed to preach their wisdom in the main courtyard to whoever was willing to listen, and often had to shout over each other in order to be heard. Three of them were currently having a spirited debate over the em-dash and en-dash military formations. Someone had begun selling popcorn to the onlooking crowd.

Some of the smaller buildings housed small schools dedicated to the various magics often used in battle against the Marizu. Lectures may have ended for the day, but visitors would still be able to hear the scribbling of quills on paper and the quiet muttering of scholars going about their work.

In the great hall of Worhkshap itself, visitors exchanged stories of their triumphs and tragedies as they enjoyed a sumptuous feast. There was laughing, boasting, singing, and the occasional shout of "Ha, yes!" The conversation was only slightly muted near the head of the room, where a few people nervously looked at the empty seat of the baron and spoke quietly amongst themselves.

Almost none of those sounds reached the ears of Baron PC, the Poor Cynick. He was in his private chambers, buried in the heart of Worhkshap's keep. It was there that he crafted his ideas, wrote his proclamations, and honed his skills. The specialized stonework blocked out the noise so prevalent in the fortress, which was exactly how he had designed it to work. Silence helped him think.

That was the idea, anyway.

Baron PC was at his desk, scribbling away at an ink-spattered piece of parchment laid out before him. Surrounding it were maps, notes, and accounts gathered from across Weab. Every so often he would pause in his writing to check one of the reports, or consult something on a chart.

His expression changed, a harsh frown creasing his features. With a muttered curse, the baron crumpled up the parchment and threw it into the nearby fireplace. Judging from the amount of papery ash already in the hearth, this was not a new occurrence.

Baron PC let the quill slip from his fingers as he stood up. So much has changed in such little time, he thought. The Marizu League makes strides, and despite recent successes we seem to be unable to dislodge them from their holdings. The new attacks in Marh Vale show that well enough. He moved aside some papers to uncover some more reports, all written in code. Sightings of Marizu lust-spirits are on the rise as well, especially in the lands of Ahr-Bihnder and Ruebee. Even this new mercenary power in Vidya Gaym, the O'erwatch, seems to have fallen prey to them.

He sighed and rubbed his temples, all while trying to ignore the itching in his palms. It had been so much easier back when he was just a knight. Find where the Marizu were, ride in, and attack until exhaustion won the day. But those tactics would no longer do. Not with the responsibilities he now carried.

There was a knock at the door. Baron PC looked down at the desk, thought about making a token effort to straighten it up, then immediately dismissed said thought. "Enter," he said.

The heavy door swung open, revealing his chamberlain. "Your guests have been asking for you, my lord," he said, the barest hint of reproach in his voice.

"If they have been asking specifically to speak with me, then they should already know that keep my own hours. I will meet with them when I am ready." Baron PC paused. "But that is not the only reason you came up here, is it?"

"No, my lord." The chamberlain held out an envelope. The wax seal of the baronial council was extremely obvious. "You have received a summons. The council meeting is at hand."

The baron nodded as he took the envelope and broke the seal. "Of course. One of the many demands of this post that must be addressed. Arrange for transportation immediately."

"Yes sir." The chamberlain paused. "Will you be speaking with Baron Phobos about possibly connecting to the Knights' Road?"

"That will definitely be on my list. I suppose he will attempt to exercise some sort of underhanded scheme to try and gain a greater profit than me." A small smile came to his lips, and one low laugh escaped his throat. "Honestly? The thought of dealing with the blindingly obvious machinations of my fellow barons seems almost like fun. Certainly more fun than…" He gestured to the crowded desk.

"I shall go and arrange your escort, my lord," the chamberlain said as he retreated from the room.

Baron PC sat down at his desk as he read through the summons. Yes. Yes, perhaps this distraction was exactly what he needed to clear his head. The Marizu could wait. They were always going to be there.

V has been all over Plort. He was first seen in Sonick de'Hedgehog. While in Lotor, he witnessed oppobrious deeds, perpetrated by The Marizu, and is currently heading towards Borrd.

Who knows what else Plort!Me is going to do?

*More information forthcoming*

((Yeah I realize it's rough, I threw it together in MS Paint because I have little to no skill with image editing. If anyone wants to take a shot at improving it, I would be grateful. I will also likely post a story about Ser Data eventually. Also, yes, it is supposed to be a lozenge, because there's not exactly a shield type for someone who shifts genders regularly.))

is obviously a sequel to this.

The humble hermits request was met with grace. But rather than finding the rest he had hoped for in that tiny corner at Arkive, the archivist’s new apprentice was immediately sent off to demonstrate and improve his Eich-Tee-Ehm-Ehl skills in the devastated lands.

While Hieronymus was supposed to travel between Arkive and the river Freewep, he somehow became sidetracked to the City of Borrd. He arrived just in time for the annually Baronial Council, where he barely escaped imprisonment and prosecution for treason and libel by Baron Thanasius Ampelius. Had he not conveniently gone lost in the wood of Kar’eer again, Hieronymus would certainly have talked his head off.

On his flight from the baron’s ire, the hermit fell into a dubious dungeon. But that is another story and shall be told on another day – if Hieronymus ever reveals how he got out of this maze again.

The way through the dungeon may have led to an alternate universe, for Hieronymus clearly remembers that he got out of the forest by following Baron Dann from Castle Tegnoh to La Wunj, where he attended a great festival, apparently held annually to celebrate a victory over the ypurs. His memories of spotting Dame Karrin the Blue and Baron Thanasius Ampelius, and making an awkward attempt to apologize, are much less clear. Before he could hear a response, Hieronymus fell to the floor, very drunken, rolled under a table, started to snore and never spoke another word in Iric.

When he woke up again, all the Ops and Dars of Iric were gone, La Wunj lay mostly abandoned, none of the few citizens Hieronymus still found remembered any recent festivities, and when he asked for Baron Dann, glares and stares were the only answers the hermit got, for everybody knows that south-eastern Plort is and always was ruled by the fair Baroness Delta Juliette. Thus, Hieronymus joined the last trek that left La Wunj to the east, and since he became more invested in the Riding of Sittorese, he travelled on until he reached the Empire of Fanvik-Neht, where he built a secret hermitage which he hopes will once become a stronghold of goodriding.

How he got across the ocean and then back again, is still one of many mysteries, but while the Baronial Council assembles again, the archivist’s apprentice is back to his job of dusting off old scrolls in Arkive. Cetera censeo, even if some strange fate takes him to Borrd again, Hieronymus the hermit should not be by common non-objection the Commonwealth of Wechi’s delegate at the Baronial Council of the Union of Plort. See? There is an objection.

((I had so hoped for an opportunity to finally put one line into the IRC while having an excuse to ignore all further discussion. Alas, it was not meant to be.))

HG

I was sitting on these for awhile.

-July, who might be able to spare some time to give some additions to Plort sometime this week assuming she doesn't get attacked by giant milk containers.

Here comes the story of... Sir Hardric. (so original)

Hardric was at first a mere denizen of Air'ihpotre, without great knowledge of the lands of Weab. He didn’t really see the need to leave his home then, content with the horizon under his gaze, and mere reveries.

This was to change when, one day, he found in the warehouse of some merchant a copy of the first scroll of the art of Arpying, as it was described by the masters Gaigacks and Arrenson. Great was his interest in this art, and the possibilities it offered.

Still, he didn’t leave his home until the invasion of Air'ihpotre by the Marizu. Unable to accept the changes brought in the new ‘kingdom’ of Roe Lin, Hardric left his home behind. For a long time he wandered through the wild lands of Weab, seeing new kingdoms, seeking new knowledge. He was, however, wary of the Marizu after seeing the desolation they could bring.

It wasn’t until years later that he found his way to the lands of Tivit. There he found more knowledge than he could ever dream of. It was there, several months later, that he heard about the tales of Jay, Acacia, and the land of Plort.

Through the discovery of such a place filled him with awe, he didn’t muster the courage to go to this land for several months. Still, he finally traveled to the island, and was welcomed like a friend. Most of his time was spent wandering between Borrd, Wechi, and De’endee with its great libraries.

The tales of the exploits of the knights and barons of Plort had steered him to come to this island, so naturally he decided to train in order to join them, eager to write his own story beside them.

However, his brash behavior, and his difficulties to follow Spelin’s commands, stalled his training, forcing him to follow thrice the Knight’s Road before being finally knighted by Lady Iximaz and earning the title of Sir.

As a knight, his main weapons are sword and magic, for he believes in the dual power of body and mind. He began his travels with only a grosse messer. This weapon is named Legard. For magic, Hardric mainly uses spells drawn from a tome found in the lands of JaiButcharh, in the fief of Air'ihdresd, and which belonged to a wizard called Nicodelli. He still calls the tome by that name in order to honor the wizard.

He’s also an adept of many styles of Arpying. Although the words Gaigacks and Arrenson are still dear to his heart, he mainly uses two other styles: the Faituh style, where the new face is created through focusing on key events from the face’s past, and the Perusonah style, named after one of the fiefs of the deadly Athlusian Dominion, a land of conflict between law and chaos where the power of demon summoning reigns supreme. The practitioner does not create a wholly new face here, but musters his willpower in order to overcome his daily doubts and inner darkness, thus earning great power. But should the spirit of the practitioner waver, this same darkness would consume him in no time.

His Inglish heraldry is:

Per fess, argent and sable, an eagle displayed gules with wings elevated, a twenty-faced die argent beneath a sword argent crossed with a pen argent.

His Alvish heraldry is:

Ner white, rena black: canta nastar alta tera, red heraldic eagle tail; canta miri, crossed white sword and red-tipped white feather; indil in fore, white twenty-sided die.

((My thanks to Huinesoron for betaing this and doing the heraldry.))

But I don't know how to do it!
*semi-panics*

The difference is that you're just a citizen/civilian instead of a Knight (someone with Permission) or a Baron (Permission Giver). I'd love to see what your coat of arms looks like!

I've been laughing hysterically practically every other strip. Thank you!

I've read a bit of The Property of Hate before, actually--I really like the art style.

No problem! :D

-Alleb

For two days, nothing in my spare time was done other than 'finish Paranatural.'
And now I can't read it, because I already gobbled it up like a bag of Doritos.
Bugger.

Speaking of really good webcomics which I absorbed instantly, promptly regretting it: Rice Boy.
It's a fantasy sort of thing in a very surreal world, that, while it plays a lot of fantasy tropes straight, does it in such a way that it's still not grating.
In fact, while I hate to unfairly raise standards, it arose the same sort of feelings in me that The Hobbit did.
Its protagonist is bloody adorable, which might have helped.