Jan 2016 Archive, part b

David Bowie was one facet - a big one - of my childhood music. If Dad wasn't singing Bolan, he was singing Bowie. I grew up listening to Won't you stay in our lovers' story/If you stay, you won't be sorry... on a regular basis.

And of course there's Labyrinth. That movie was amazing, and it's never really let me go.

Goodbye, Bowie.

hS

I had to phone someone, so I picked on you-u-u
Hey that's far out, so you heard him too-oo-oo?
Switch on your TV
We may pick him up on Channel Two...

Still, NewsThump gets it right.

I hate cancer so much. Who knows what other music he could have made if he could have kept going. I'm going to miss him, and his voice.

—doctorlit will be alone in the Room of Asexuality for a while.

This is not a good way to start the new year off.

Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday; I was with my sister all day.

Here, have plushies of Lars Lion and Lars Lion!

Happy belated birthday, and I hope you do well in your new semester at college.

Congratulations on being pushed out of the womb approximately 21 years ago. You did a fine job.

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU
ON THIS DEAR DATE
MUCH HAPPINESD
MANY YEARS OF LIFE!

Many happy returns, etc.
*opens a bottle of Cava*

HIT IT!

Happy Birthday, my olde friend!
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

*blows noisemakers*



(Cakes exploding with Doctors are acceptable, right?)

Have a Bag of Holding and a Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written text. Just close your eyes while holding it, think about what you wanna read and then blink three times.

And thanks for the birthday wishes, too :)

Welcome back, my sixteenth dark brother. I present to you: My brotherly love. Dark brotherly love.

Here is your NG+ Starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiit's Seaking!

And your starting item is:-

Soldier's Syringe from Risk Of Rain!

Now, this is an interesting test case. This is the first time we've really been able to have a look at how pre-existing items affect multiple Pokémon in this gimmick, and it's really quite exciting! Seaking, however, is... not the best 'mon to take this item on, though. Soldier's Syringe's effect (a 50% chance to boost your Attack, Speed, or Accuracy by 1 stage whenever you get hit by a contact move) isn't well-suited to a 'mon with Seaking's kind of terrible defences, but try using a Lightningrod set with Waterfall, Megahorn, Drill Run, and Body Slam. Paraflinching. It is absolutely disgusting. =]

Have this pot of black-hole coffee. Hope you're here to stay for good.

Welcome back! Here, have this Psychopomp of Insanity, it will lead you through our insanity!

Prompts have been completed and shared with you guys.

I follow you on Tumblr, and I have plenty of time before I start work, so why not? My username is clickable, btw.

Just the characters right now because I want to work them out before I do the prompts

Hope everything will go smoothly.

I guess I'll give you a Cliff's notes version of the Pyronomicon. Very useful for basic fire magic, but its more for fending off flames. Like some other boarders have said, have you read all the basic PPC reading material? If so, have a cookie. If you haven't, have a cookie anyways.

Here is a duck

Welcome to the PPC! Everyone has said all the important stuff, of course, as I usually just stare at the Board while screaming internally about how I should post more often but people are probably gonna hate me and/or I don't have anything interesting to say. Yay.
Anyway, have this self-assembling pillow fort! (Disclaimer: any acquisition of sentience by said pillow fort and subsequent death or injury of its owner is in no way our responsibility.)

I've only been around for like three days, but hey! Newbies stick together, amirite? Oh, here's a lovely fuzzy blanket for ya. At least where I am, it's freezing right now. And some marshmallows, because who doesn't need those.

So have you read the Original Series yet? It's awesome, you should totally read it. I love it so much.

You into any particular fandoms? Movies, books, TV shows, video games? Hobbies, foods, animals, colors?

I'll stop now. *sheepish smile*

Have some black-hole chocolate, please. Hope you're here to stay, and we'll know more about you later.

And by the way, what are your favorite fandoms?

Welcome to the bloodbath, brother. When men are men, women are women, dogs are dogs and cats are, in a strange twist, stoats.
I gift unto you: a cat. Or a stoat. It can't seem to make up its mind.

Since people are in the business of recommending spinoffs (and have already asked the important questions), lemme recommend Neshomeh's. I'd also recommend Shadow and Manx's, but the site seems to be down. Nuuu. :(
Last but not least, have this cup of — no, get outta there, it's a cup for tea, not for pigs, dammit.

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is the Wiki; if you have any questions, just look here before asking. We like it when newbies do the research. ;)

Hope you like it here!

Glad you found your way to our part of the interwebs. Here's a bucket of movie-theater popcorn to eat while you read the important links on the homepage and a blue scarf! Also, can you tell us what you're into, what pronouns you use, and if you've read any PPC spinoffs so far? (I recommend SkarmorySilver's missions featuring Falchion, Rashida, and Velociripper, as well as anything by Voyd, Iximaz, and the sadly-now-inactive Herr Wozzeck.)

Please accept this fine starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiit's Sawk!

And your starting item is:-

Midas' Touch from The Binding Of Isaac: Afterbirth!

Midas' Touch is a bit of a strange item, increasing your money gained from fights (like an Amulet Coin) and also doing additional damage with contact moves based on how much money you have, which is capped at 50% in competitive play. As such, it sees pretty wide use, and Sawk can definitely take advantage of it. Try a set with Close Combat, Knock Off, Ice Punch, and Zen Headbutt, with a Jolly Nature and EVs in Attack and Speed, with your ability being Sturdy so you can take a hit. Have fun! =]

May I ask what fandoms you're in? kthnxbai

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Welcome to the PPC, have this Chocolate Grenade, it's like an incendiary grenade, but with Chocolate instead of Fire.

Let me raise the question here: what fandoms are you in?

The page you want, in case there's confusion, is this one. All five houses have Big Sibs listed, and while I think Omega has gone quiet and EileenAlphabet doesn't post much, everything other than Grave Energy Initiative has at least one active Big Sib.

As outlined on that page, the thing to do is choose which House you want to be in, and ask for a Big Sib. This thread is a perfectly fine place to do that.

It's also a good place for anyone else who needs one to ask - and for anyone who wants to become a Big Sib to look at the description and sign up! I'm sure the other Big Sibs would be delighted to have you on-board.

hS, not a Big Sib because very bad at replying to emails

I enjoyed the addition of the outfits at the bottom, there. I feel like you missed an opportunity with Zeb's pauldrons, though. Those things are absurd. You could use them as helmets, or novelty buckets. Or small shields. Almost anything other than pauldrons, actually.

First, this for Ave and Baby. A shame she got to be thrown in the Suepid so few time after that, but hey, she had to pay for the TARDIS' return. Although I think she already needs help with these badfic, since she's pretty much turning to alcoholism.

Still, nice touch with the game interface and the costumes. And now Farilan got to see she's not on the top of the technological food chain, she's ready for the most sacred duty of any intern in the world: Fetch coffee/tea/whatever drink is asked, and make sure they come fresh and quickly.

What would happen if an andalite (or any creature with the AniMorph ability) were to be killed while in a Time Lord morph?

Feel free to put that in the Things I'm not allowed to do at the PPC list

If you had enough time/energy to make it possible to alter the color selections, that's really the only thing I can think of that would make it better. (And maybe busier console desktops, but I love lots of buttons and levers. :P)

But wow, just seriously, wow. I love it!

It's a fun thing to do. Hope the Boarders with Time Lords agents and TARDIS will try this, it could be interesting to see. Thanks for the free Minion too.

P.S.: It's pretty much unrelated, but I would want to know if there is a RC Generator somewhere on the Web.

I look forward to the day when we will have to address you as Grand High Commodore JulyFlame.

Interesting job, I've got to say. Maybe you'll find a Big-Mouth Whale!

You did... it!

Shame about less sleep and the wear and tear your retinas will no doubt sustain, but stepping-stones to better things are good. {= )

(BTW, did you get my package remotely near Christmas? I've been meaning to e-mail you to ask this, but since I'm writing here...)

~Neshomeh

Congratulations to you, July! :D

From what you said, you're selected for more work, less tan and same pay. But you say it's a good thing so... Good luck taking over the ship one grade after one.

I'm not going to pretend I understand what that is...



Congrats! :D

July's movin' on up! To the . . . sea side!

. . .

But really! Congratulations. Soon, July, will have taken over the entire Navy. All shall love her and despair!

—doctorlit

Ooh, okay! Very nice!

And many congratulations to you. :D

We are all so, so proud of you.

...

Wait a minute. Does this mean you're the Board's Phones? I think this means you're the Board's Phones. hS, any other Supermarionation fanbeings, back me up on this, willya? =]

Since I think I understand what this means, congrats again! Here, have this cup of — sorry, the kittens souldn't be there...

Or 'a sideways promotion which means they can give you harder work without actually giving you more authority and/or pay' (I got one of those at one point)?

Either way, congratulations! Though I'm sure you'll miss sanding off the tattered remnants of the paint you applied last time you had to sand the same blasted object over and over again... yeah, maybe not.

hS

If the AU justifies changes well, it's perfectly fine — in fact, if an AU had no changes whatsoever I'd charge for that because changes in the past mean stuff changing in the present.

Oh, and I don't agree about being unable to hate your own species — I know a guy that does hate humans as a whole. He's kinda weird.

Alan Rickman Cuts Out Grim Reaper's Heart With a Spoon

Scapegrace shared this with me and hopefully it can at least make his passing a little bit easier to bear.

Everyone's dying. Good God.

First Robin Williams, the Christopher Lee, and now Alan Rickman...

Truly, a dangerous time to work as a movie star.

By Grabthar's hammer, he will be remembered!
.
.
.
...what? I can like him in things other than Harry Potter.

DAMN YOU, CANCER. Stoppit! Just stop!

This is all the worse for being completely unexpected. 69 is just not that old, y'know? {= (

~Neshomeh

May he rest in peace. * raises Muggle-use Wand and casts Lumos *

That hurt, a lot. Must also admit, I didn't really know him before this post, and I would have never guessed he played Snape from his face, but... He made a pretty good job of playing this role. And Hans too.

Why is cancer so determined to slaughter everyone. :

That hurt, a lot. Must also admit, I didn't really know him before this post, and I would have never guessed he played Snape from his face, but... He made a pretty good job of playing this role. And Hans too.

Why is cancer so determined to slaughter everyone. :<

I would like to stop putting memorial images after my name, if that wouldn't be too much trouble.

hS

No! NO, GOD! NO!



It was FOUR DAYS, Death! FOUR DAYS SINCE BOWIE! Give us a break, would you?!

I need to go cry. A lot. ;-;

Well, seeing that I live in the southern hemisphere and thus it being summer right now, it wouldn't be snowing down here even if it ever, which it doesn't, given that I live in a place with a very tropical climate and no high mountains around.

Thank you for the NM&Nms and the HP fic recommendations. I will be sure to check those out sometime! :D

And since you were so kind as to hand out gifts on your own party, have this: A Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written text in existence. Just close your eyes while holding it, think about what you wanna read and then blink three times!

BTW, if I may ask this, have you gotten a chance to find/work on that spoiler-free Ruby scene, by any chance?

No snow here.

I just read the Harry-had-been-a-squib-AU and I love it to pieces. I bookmarked the whole series for future reading. Thank you for recommending this.

HG

We don't have snow, just rain and sometimes-cold sometimes not-weather. Oh, and we're expecting a sandstorm come Monday.
*Grabs NM&NMs*
I read one of dirgewithoutmusic's AUs — the one where Harry grows up in Hogwarts — and it's awesome. I'll probably read the rest at some point.
Again, mazaltov.
*opens a bottle of Cava*

...Just a few years earlier. XD

*throws cakefetti* *blows noisemakers* *brings in a stripper cake complete with its own Doctor*



(Also, wow, has it really been almost two years now? Feels like I'm still a newbie. :/)

Snow? I lice on the west coast, but the last time was two years ago, in February. I remember having snow every year, but not anymore. Freakin' global warmin'. Anyhow, *takes generic newbie gifts, begins to describe them*

The last time I saw snow was two years ago, and that was because I visited America. It's bloody summer over here, though, I don't think the clouds are aware of it. Half the time it's burning hot, the other half it's cold and rainy.

I'm not part of the Supernatural fandom, but I did read Good Omens once (or twice,) so I hope that counts for something.

Also, I read about a page and a half of one of the original works of that author you recommended and they were a brilliant page and a half, so cheers.

Happy celebration for you. Let's put some music here. I'm not sure about the snow. There's nothing at the moment, but the meteo predicts it for tonight.

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll check them when I can.

Oh, I'm only in the early seasons for the moment, but thanks to Das Mervin, you're looking at a fellow Supernatural fan. Metallicar forever!

P.S.: It's four monthes since I'm here and I got Permission and a first mission almost published, but could I take the Bleepolate, provided there's dark, pure cocoa, or dark with red berries? Really need it right now.

P-A-R-T... Y? BECAUSE WE BLOODY CAN!

*flails hands and throws glitter and confetti everywhere*

Question about snow: We used to, here in Poland, have snow since January 1st up until last Sunday when temperature jumped up and everything turned to mud. Now... ekhm... Hand over the Gummyblees and nobody gets hurt!

Also, I'm really interested in joining the Supernatural fandom... Can you describe it in eight words or less, to convince me? :D

P.S.: Could I have a moment of your precious time on mail?

...inspired by the novel Dune. After reading this synopsis I think that's extremely reasonable to say.

Reading this was...disconcerting, I think, given SW was my childhood. I steeped myself in those stories, and seeing it different is kind of strange. Cool, but strange.

Also, see TFA asap. It is *excellent.*

There's clearly no enthusiasm for changing anything, so I guess nothing will change. Sorry for wasting space.
And Scapegrace: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to anger or offend you. You're quite correct that I should have done my research before expressing an uninformed opinion. So, yeah. Sorry about that.

It's not a "severe question of YKINMK", and I can say that with some degree of certainty because frankly, some of it is my bloody kink, thank you very much. DCC does it quite exceptionally badly. The play that goes on in that fic is demonstrably unsafe and to my mind did not happen with consent from Draco.

So no, I disagree entirely with your assessment of DCC, but that's why we're voting on it and not just leaving it to whoever's got access to the Wiki.

Speaking of, I need to send Nesh those flowers and chocolates. And the pony. =]

Again, I'll state my preference for maintaining the Legendary status of anything that was missioned as a Legendary.

"Cupcakes" was missioned. In fact, that mission is responsible for bringing a fair number of people to the Board from TV Tropes. Also, the badfic is indisputably notorious—it's even on Know Your Meme, IIRC. It's Legendary.

"Draco's Christmas Cuppa" was also missioned, which you mentioned. Unless Iximaz and Scapegrace are okay with it being demoted to Bleepfic, I'm against it.

"Cho Chang's Desires" does come up a few times in the List of Things I Am Not Allowed to Do in the PPC (I don't remember which parts specifically, or I'd link them). Its wiki page might be worth keeping just to explain those mentions, but unless further evidence of the fic itself turns up so we can see what all the fuss was about, I suggest we demote it to Bleepfic.

I'll second the outright removal of the Lion King Orgy Poem. I couldn't be bothered with it back then, and I can't be bothered with it now. I suspect it only got noticed in the first place because it's by the same author as That Series.

~Neshomeh

Have we actually had anyone die? Like I know we've had boarders disappear, and I've personally witnessed a few close calls by several people, but I don't recall hearing about any PPCers actually dying.

That's as of October last year. That number includes quite a lot of misspellings, plus the 'people' who post during the Badfic Games, but it also excludes a whole bunch of people who left before the archives really kick in in 2008. 2005 is a particularly bad year for records - which is a shame, because it was probably the time the Board was most active.

About 230,000 posts have been made on the PPC Board (which tallies with the fact that the current post number is around 280,000 - those numbers skip sometimes), and the person with the most posts is... well, it's me. ^_^ I have over 5000 recorded posts, with an estimated total just over 8500. (The next down is Neshomeh at 4100 recorded, 5000 total, followed by Iximaz at 2500 total.)

(And if you assume those posts took an average of five minutes to write, that comes to a solid month of my life spent writing on the PPC Board. Yeeeeeah...)

hS, who does this sort of thing

Every year I'm around I do a census survey, which pretty much achieves exactly that for boarders.

I can't fish up the link to the survey results for 2015 right now, but I'm sure there's someone about who can find it.

As for the wiki itself, said database is the most complete one we have, much thanks to Neshomeh. If it's missing any characters, it's very very few of them in comparison to the ones present.

Just take a look at the [in]Complete List of PPC Fiction. So many agents whose authors just disappeared. So many names to compile.

It would be easier to list who's currently active, though I don't really know why that would be necessary since we can tell that just by looking at, well, who's been publishing.

Partly, anyway. They've only got the main page, first and fourth stories, and the charge list, but that's better than nothing.

Speaking of missing stories, anyone with a bit of free time could do us all a huge favor by backing up PPC sites on the above webpage capture service, especially if those sites are on Webs. Webs sites have been dropping like flies, and it's extremely irritating. So, if you're browsing a PPC site, journal, whathaveyou, please take a moment to pop open this page and drop its root URL in the red bar. Thanks!

~Neshomeh, your friendly neighborhood archivist.

After reading Iximaz's comments, I got to thinking about him. One thing that I always wonder about the more stoic agents, especially ones from other continua, is what motivates them to do the job. Ajax's description says he does his best to keep the canons and characters safe, but there's nothing to suggest why.

Most agents, or at least the ones from World One, get involved because they've read the books, seen the movies, etc., and are probably involved in fandom and know about badfic, too. They join up for love of canon; they put up with the weird and sometimes awful conditions of the job for love of canon.

But if you're not from World One or an analogue, you can't have grown up with these things and formed that kind of deep love for them, so what makes you care enough to put up with HQ? And if you don't appear to even be the kind of person who cares about anything at all, then what? What makes you keep doing it?

I've answered this question for all of my agents:

- Nume cares because he was a geek when it was way less cool to be a geek. He always wanted Star Trek and LotR to be real, and when he found out they were, of course he was going to stick around. Screw your so-called real life.

- Ilraen didn't have a choice. He was recruited as a bit character with next to no personality, and he was basically told "this is what you're going to be doing from now on, deal with it." At first he was only doing what he was told. Caring came later, when he saw some of the really terrible things badfic can do to other people.

- Derik has always been motivated by a duty to protect others as a dragonrider, and now he has a vendetta. A Mary Sue ruined his life, and he doesn't much care if he lives or dies as long as he gets to kill them in the process. Plus, as a harper, he's a stickler for proper speaking and writing.

- Gall is in it for the adventure. That's pretty much it. ... Okay, she doesn't like Sues, but she doesn't like anybody that inconveniences her. We're just lucky she respects her partner.

So, what about Ajax? Answering this question for him will do a world of good, I think.

~Neshomeh

*takes a look*

SPaG: Looked fine in the prompts, but needs to be cleaned up in the profiles; you had a few mistakes like not capitalizing Sues or capitalizing white out. Otherwise, green light here.

PPC Knowledge: Why does Matthew like to use C-CADs as grendes? They're known for being much more resilient to badfic than their non-combined counterparts. Why does their console play JohnTron singing for its alert? Valon and Kala's console plays a different noise (Something from Psycho, I think?) but the reason for that was given an explanation. Here, it's just... a thing. Other than that, I haven't really spotted anything. So you get a tentative green light with this, but be more mindful of that in the future, please.

Badfic: *takes a look and nopes out* You're good here.

Agents: Okay. Where do I start... how about Ajax.

"Ajax doesn’t quite look like it, but he is a badass. The sues he has slain certainly know this, given in his solo mission he wore a cloak and wielded a scythe upon execution of said sues."

I'm... honestly not sure if you're trying to write a parody here. First off, the fact that you feel the need to tell us your agent is a badass sends up a red flag, because we're supposed to take your word at face value rather than let him demonstrate his badassery for himself. Not only that, but the main focus on him as a character seems to be less on his personality and more on 'look at what cool powers and stuff he has!' His character seems to begin and end with 'badass'

Matthew is a lot better developed (I'm guessing because he sounds like he's supposed to represent you?), so not really a whole lot to say on him other than good job here. I would like to point out that "Matthew has severe ADHD; reading about how Sues screw over his favorite characters doesn’t help." kind of makes me tilt my head and go 'huh?' because, speaking as someone who does have ADHD, I seriously cannot see the correlation between these two.

Prompts: "Stuck in a Tree" was... odd. The fact that Matthew got stuck in a tree for apparently no reason (and this is even acknowledged in the story itself!) and feels like it was just Ajax doing random things because... reasons. I've read it three times and I still can't figure out what was going on with it.

The second prompt was alright, though the console thing was still strange.

One last note: the format on your agents' profile pages made reading about them way more difficult than it had to be, needing to scroll up and down and up and down just to read about them. I still can't figure out what "DetBdaJhg" and "KniHamSav" are even supposed to be. Yes, you left a footnote saying it was a reference to the Periodic Table of Storytelling, but that still tells me diddly squat.

So, sorry, but Permission is denied.

Some final thoughts: Ajax is what really killed this for me. Put a lot more work into developing him and I think your next shot will be better.

*blows dust of PG Hat* *tests* Huh. Seems okay. Right then!

Notes taken as I read:

Agent Profiles

- RC# G37-R3K7-M8

Erm, the 1337 is mildly amusing, but RCs have to be numbers. They can CONTAIN letters, but they really ought to start off with numbers. The agents can always put up a sign that says "get rekt mate" in 1337 if they want to, though.

- But as he kept walking and the blizzard started clearing up he noticed that he wasn’t in the same town he grew up in. Apparently the snowstorm had spawned a plothole that led straight to Upstairs.

This line reads a little funny to me, mostly because "not in the same town" seems to imply "in a different town," and Upstairs isn't a town at all.

- severe ADHD

Urgh, this rarely bodes well. I get that Matthew is a self-insert, but I fear Random Wacky Shenanigans For No Reason.

- Also, DoSAT is seriously considering blacklisting him for his habit of using C-CADs as grenades.

You know that C-CADs were specifically designed to explode LESS than regular CADs, right?

- Ajax is a Psychopomp Commerce Deity, Hermes, a Water/Dark attribute God/Attacker type monster from the Puzzle & Dragons series.

That is sure a lot of descriptors. From reading on, though, do I take it that he's not actually a version of the god, Hermes?

- Dat RC. When most agents are stuck in what's essentially a dorm room, how in the heck do these guys rate enough space for FOUR game tables, not to mention what looks like a full kitchen? O.o

Control Prompt

- RC G37-R3K7-M8 was about the size of a classroom

Again, how? Why?

- “LET’S GOOOO!” He ran towards where the portal was…but promptly ran into the wall, as the portal hadn’t actually generated yet. “Ow.”

And there's the Random Wacky Shenanigans I feared. Serious question: have you ever actually run into a wall?

Random Prompt

You lost me when the tree spouted a geyser. So, Matt's stuck in a tree, and Ajax turns the inside of the tree into water and gets inside it, and then the tree explodes, and... what? Is Ajax where Matt is now, or is he still lower down? I guess he has to be on Matt's level, or else the water slide would be no help, but there's no description, so it took me way too long to figure that out.

Also, random caps on baby elephant.

Analysis

Your writing is basically okay—a few minor errors here and there, but nothing practice won't fix—and I don't see anything awfully concerning about the characters as written, as long as the Random Wacky Shenanigans For No Reason are kept to a minimum.

What concerns me, however, is your level of PPC knowledge. I think you ought to read some more missions, preferably some of the older ones that helped establish HQ and particularly the story that introduced the C-CAD. Then, once the errors are fixed, try again.

Therefore, Permission Denied for Now.

~Neshomeh

You need to share the control prompt, Mattman. I get a "request permission to view" page when clickling the link.

* Training
* Vacation
* Interlude

These pages could, of course, benefit from more story citations.

~Neshomeh

HERE

As for the second question... I'm not sure if they're allowed to visit their home continuum, but I remember ona team watching the Ember Island Players in The Last Airbender universe, just to relax, before being called on a mission. Ix, wasn't that your guys? As for the supply of Dust, I guess the General Store has their suppliers who visit various continua, but I don't think action department people would do that.

I have the Cthulhu version plus the first two expansions for that, the Nightmare Before Christmas version, and a copy of the original signed by Steve Jackson himself.

I've tried the classic game with a lot of expansion packs added and Star Munchkin. I have a friend who has a bunch of different versions and we're planning to work our way through them all.

It's really fun. We get all backstabby and then we pretend to be really mad at each other.

I hope I can get the base game someday, to go with my Dork Tower comics.

By the way, does anyone ever tried the board game? WOuld want to know if it's worth it.

I'm still trying to figure out the best way to get my brother back for a nasty combo he played once.

>Up against the Plutonium Dragon
>Plays Wandering Monster: Gazebo
>Plays Ancient
>Plays Enraged
>Plays way too many other bonus cards
>And then to add insult to injury, plays Mate.

Little turd.

Except Kaitlyn. You're in trouble for reminding people that I'm supposed to be aging; they'll start to get suspicious...

hS

Good job on the whole birthing thing, mate.
I'll assume that you did a good job, at least. If you didn't, we probably wouldn't be celebrating it.

Many happy returns, hS! I hope this past orbit around the sun was a good one-- and I hope the upcoming one will be even better!

Cheers!

Making Mithril, from Green Books.

As a chemist and LotR tome-in-human-shape, I thought you might get a kick out of that. While you might already know of it, it's quite an old article, so you might have forgotten -- and it's always a pleasant thing to rediscover old knowledge.

Happy birthday, hS. =]

Many happy returns and mathoms-a-plenty!

Elcalion, festive

HIT IT FOR THE BOARD'S OLD MAN!

Happy Birthday my olde friend.
It seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
Here is to another day closer to death.

The cake is on the table,
And it is awfully bright,
'Cause there's so many candles on top.
But you are so decrepit,
Your chest so tight,
When you blow them out your lungs are gonna pop.

You cannot complain
Each time you feel a pain,
Though you have arthritis and gout.
'Cause when you start kvetching,
All your teeth fall out.

So have another cigarette,
Have another beer,
Raise your glass to one more year. (GONE!)

* starts clapping wildly and singing loudly *

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!
ON THIS DEAR DATE!
MUCH HAPPINESS!
MANY YEARS OF LIFE!

Well, if it's all in the name of celebrating...

*takes a deep breath and brings out the bullhorn*

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

*throws cakefetti and blows noisemakers*

Many happy returns!

My salutations for the second oldbie of the Board. Thirteen years and still green, eh? ;)

I'm still working on my Agents to get them Permissible, so I don't even know what my Agents are like, as much as I should. They're still a work in progress...

For Nume, Timothy Omundson, whom you may remember as Carlton Lassiter in Psych. Heck, I'd cast him to straight-up play Nume. He's great.

Ilraen is difficult because I imagine his voice (spoken and telepathic) as very clean and cool, and there aren't too many voices like that. Best I can do is John Webb, who voice-acted as Glorfindel in the 1981 BBC radio dramatization of LotR. You can hear him here, starting at about 23:32. (I remember his voice as being a little higher-pitched than it sounds to me now, but maybe that was my stereo as a kid.) Unfortunately, I can't find a page for him, so I don't even know if he's around anymore.

Derik's speaking voice would, of course, have to be played by Gerard Butler. I imagine his singing voice differently, though, and I haven't quite figured out a good model for that. Maybe Doug LaBrecque, though—here's a nice recording of him singing "Do You Hear What I Hear?", which shows off his velvety low resonance. His high end can be a bit shrill/harsh when he's belting, though, and I don't approve of his swooping in this recording. {= P

I haven't quite figured Gall out yet. In my head, she mostly sounds like a weird combination of Ruffnut and Snotlout from HtTYD, but that clearly doesn't work. Kristen Wiig is cool, though, so sure, I'll run with it for now.

~Neshomeh

Accept no substitutes.

Kala: Kristen Bell. Anna's voice is the closest to the one Kala has in my head (and no, she doesn't have an accent; she was studying to exchange in America)

Chakkik: In his natural form, probably MacInTalk, like AUTO from Wall-E. In human disguise, Jamieson Price (the guy who voiced Lordgenome in Gurren Lagann).

Stephanie: Uh... I'll get back to you on this one. I haven't actually seen any Scandinavian women in TV or movies...

Gabby: Uh... the only Irish actress I know is Evanna Lynch, and Gabby doesn't sound like Luna.

Adéle: Lindsay Jones. Not too many actresses can pull off sounding as young as Ruby.

Zeke: Nolan North, with his Fact Sphere voice. "Fact: Hyper Beam is powerful."
"Fact: I am in love with Adéle."

I'll go for Laura Bailey, voicing Lucina for Fire Emblem and Rise and Female Protagonist for Persona, for Marina, and Jesse Eisenberg for me. I really liked Zombieland.

P.S.: Don't worry too much for Michael B. Jordan, EPL. From what I heard, Creed will quickly erase the precedent film from his career.

They're all have to be voice credits, since there's no way to put a cartoon unicorn in with real people and not have it look weird.

1. Chris has two possible voice actors. If he were portrayed as white because that's how the Pokemon main characters are drawn, Aaron Dismuke. Remember how adorable he was as Al in the 2003 FMA series? Well, he's three years older than I am now, and (admittedly having not heard his recent work) I think he could nail Chris' "adult who's still a kid in his mind and heart" shtick.
--If, on the other hand, he were portrayed as Japanese because that's what country most of the Pokemon regions are based on, my best guess is Daisuke Namikawa. He voiced Yu Narukami in P4 and all its adaptations, and since Chris is the serious one... (did you know he's also Lucario's voice in Brawl and Smash 4?) I'm not actually sure if Mr. Namikawa knows English, so if anyone knows a Japanese voice actor who does, tell me.
2. If I couldn't voice Ami, Tara Strong would. I've said before that I identify with Twilight Sparkle the most out of the mane 6, and some of that spilled over into Ami's personality as well. (Or will once she gets more character development, anyway.)
3. Miguel...actually, I don't know that many young Black men in voice acting. Maybe Michael B. Jordan? Lord knows he needs a career revival after the disaster that was the new Fantastic 4 movie.
4. Violet's the quote-unquote "feisty one" in the RC, so Michaela Dietz (Amethyst) would make the most sense as her voice actor. Purple, loud, violent, enjoys messing with people, and ashamed of where she came from deep down inside.

I really, really hope someone says Karl Pilkington.
If you don't know why, just search his name up on Youtube.

Gaspard: I can imagine his English voice somewhat like Christopher Randolph's Otacon. His French voice is mine, though.

Tacitus: Wait, what?

Harris: Strangely enough, Chris Pratt. Don't ask.

Emiran: His current face has the voice of none other than James Earl Jones himself. I find his deep, measured tone the perfect fit for his character. His next face will share a voice with Logan Cunningham, of Bastion fame. As for why he regenerates... ah. Spoilers.

Naya: This random quarian NPC is probably the best approximation I can give.

Terabyte: It's a sentient computer program with a voice box. Take your pick. In all seriousness through, it sounds like Legion.

Mind you ,the names will be likely unknow to most of you as I mainly have Italian voice actors in mind.


Agent!Sergio: Uhm, I don't know. it's more like I know how it should sound like (nothing like mine, by the way), but I can't think of a voice actor with a similar voice. Maybe Kappei Yamaguchi, with a bit of David Hayter mixed in?
Nikki: Renata Bertolas. The full reason is a bit spoilery, but she's the voice actress of Sakura Kinomoto (the character she's a badfic clone of) in the Italian dub of Cardcaptor Sakura. Bonus points for the Italian dub trying to pass off Sakura as a 14 years old girl resulting in her Italian voice sounding more like a girl Nikki's age than a kid.
Corolla: Probably Yukana, as she already voices one of the canonical Unison Devices. Imagine a crazier version of Reinforce Zwei and you're on the right way.

... And yes, I know I gave the Italian character a Japanese voice actor and vice versa.

Things could get a little tricky. Oh well, here goes nothing. All these are voice credits unless stated:-

Wobbles The Clown: Rebel Wilson
A natural fit for a physical presence, with an established gift for comedy delivery, Wilson is perfect for a happy-go-lucky clown. For those wondering, Melissa McCarthy's voice isn't really right for the part, though she has the advantage of actually being an American.

The Notary: Nikki Amuka-Bird
Amuka-Bird's delivery is perfect for a role as dry and vicious as the Notary, and she has a Whovian credit already; a one-episode role in Torchwood. However, what really got my attention was her work in Luther as Erin Gray. A close runner up is Adjoa Andoh, of Invictus and (more pertinetly to the topic at hand) Thunderbirds Are Go! fame.

Doktor Trollenfisch: Henning Wehn
Considering he's got a lot of experience with radio work and was in large part an inspiration for the character, it's only right that he gets the part in my fan casting. Whether or not he can play the sousaphone remains to be seen; we might have to get a stunt double in for that. =]

Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne: Richard Griffiths
Well, this is a dream casting. Griffiths was a Shakespearean actor, and I wanted his plummy tones (most familiar to American Boarders coming out of Vernon Dursley in the Harry Potter films) but with a certain gaiety of spirit to lighten a performance for the irrepressible Lord Wymbourne. Another fine pick would be Nicholas Smith, who did voice work in Wallace And Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit before his own death.

Lola McCandless: Essie Davis
Davis has rocketed to international acclaim on the back of the best horror film in recent years, Jennifer Kent's The Babadook. If anyone can pull off the kind of barely-held-together with false joviality performance that Lola requires, it's the lead from a psychological horror that scared the Bejeezus out of William Friedkin, whom you may know as the man behind The Exorcist.

I hope that's of use to people. =]

William is 100% Matt Ryan. You may know him as Captain Edward Kenway in Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, or Dale the meat guy from Torchwood

And it won't be a surprise to anyone that William's character is based off Ryan's portrayal of John Constantine. If you watch Arrow John appeared in Season 4, Episode 5, and helped restore Sarah's soul to her body.

This is the angelic voice I have in mind whenever I write William's lines.

As for VJ... huh, I really don't have any picks for her voice, nor can I recall an inspiration... Hmm.. I dunno Amber Lee Connors? Otherwise known as Android 18 in Dragonball Z: Abridged.

Would anyone really good at SpaG be interested, please?

I'm... really sorry to say this, but this whole mission was just riddled with errors. A lot of them. Distractingly so, to the point where I was noticing them more than I was the story.

The songs had also helped him navigate: HQ’s dimension-bending architecture required everyone to distract themselves somehow in order to get to where they needed to be.

Colon needs to be a semicolon.

The Response Centre was rather empty, with no other furniture besides another bed next to a door in the back of the room, two chairs, and another door on the left side, although a kitchen was also located besides this second door.

Besides should be beside.

“Let me enter, please. I’ve been walking around this damn place for hours, in fact ever since this flower with a bowler hat sent me out after I dropped into his office, and even before this my day wasn’t exactly wonderful, so I really need the rest.”

Run-on sentence. The comma after 'hours' should probably be changed to an em dash, and there needs to be a comma after 'in fact'.

Anyway, we’re somewhere in the labyrinth known as PPC HQ--that’s short for Protectors of the Plot Continuum.

You were using em dashes earlier in the mission, so the double hyphen should be replaced.

Richard stood up at his turn, clutching his side.

Are they suddenly in an RPG?

I heard one agent got genderbent on a really nasty Harry Potter mission,”

Harry Potter here needs to be italicized since you're referring to the series.

He then dragged Marina, who’d been staring at Dresden pointedly, out of the way and out of sight of the canon characters before (seemingly) dozing off.

Er, what? I assume he's reading the Words, given the later context clues, but then it says he's reading them by letting his eyes glaze over, so I'm not sure what's going on here.

While we’re in a badfic, if we let our eyes unfocus, we’ll be able to read the Words of the story itself.

How the agents read the Words varies; Barid, for example, hits himself over the head to see them; I've seen other examples like shutting your eyes or taking off your glasses to see them. This would be a case of PPC knowledge failure.

Why do half of these guys look like corpses, and will you stop sleeping- What is making that noise?

Hyphen needs to be an em dash for consistency.

You’re from this verse, aren’t you?

Verse should be 'verse, since it's an abbreviation of universe.

Karen here is the first Dresden Files mini

The first ever? Maybe out-of-universe, but surely in-universe people have been sent into missions here before.

The DRD will just love this, said Richard,

Missing a closing quotation there.And right after that, Marina has a line but there's no new paragraph.

I didn’t know time could be so malicious.” She added.

Should be a comma after malicious and lowercase she.

Oh, we’ll get it away from him, it could be useful.” Richard said

Should be a comma after useful.

*looks at the page number she's on* Eight?

No, I'm not going through this and spotting every single last error. Seriously, your SPaG needs work. I believe I said as much in your Permission request.

Sorry, dude, I'd love to finish reading it, but when I can't enjoy the story because of all the errors distracting me, I don't feel particularly inclined to do so.

Besides the examples that Ixi showed, one of my main agents- Library- is from a universe I made.

The main thing, however, is that because their 'canon' isn't one that anyone else knows, besides tossing them in and calling it a day if you do it, you would also have to explain things, if relevant, if it isn't a modern earth or there are different things going on.

EG, you can't just expect to be able to roll in with an agent character from a universe of your own and then go 'oh, by the way, he can Do All The Things Because That's How His World Works'.

There have been several precedents, after all.

Here.

I do what Roald Dahl did: stop in the middle of a page. That way, you don't have a blank page staring at you when you start again.

Thank you so much for responding. I see that blocking out outlines and writing non-linearly are both common procedures among you, so I will try putting those into practice and see how it works out for me. Failing that, I'll just buckle down and power through a page or two and see what I turn up.

Thank you all again. I am still receptive to any more wisdom you experienced writers may have to impart. I could certainly use it.

It doesn't even have to be big and complicated; it can be as simple as writing down the beginning, the end and three things that have to happen in between.

You can also write small pieces with your characters, giving you a better feel for who they are and what makes them tick. Or, if you're writing some kind of fantasy of sci-fi, you can do short, lexicon style articles about elements of your world.

The blank paper (or screen) is scary but if you come prepared, if you have some idea about who your characters are and what they're going to do in the story, it will be easier to start.

And in my experience, writing tend to generate more writing. Start putting ideas on the paper and you will get more ideas and the story will grow bigger and take off in unexpected directions.

My second mission was going to be out very shortly after my first, which came out in early 2014. This... didn't happen. Indeed, it's still barely even started now. The thing is, I write little vignettes and struggle with connective tissue. This is why I do a lot of collabs - other people are better at that than I am. If in doubt, try asking for help! The worst people can do is say no.

Actually, the worst people can do involves swarms of deadly vampire bees, but we'll just ignore that for now. =]

Option one: The power method. Just power through it. just keep putting words on paper when you hit the wall. Though this can result in a stream of consciousness style work

Option Two: Inspiration. Writing, like painting or sculpture or any other kind of art needs some type of muse or source of inspiration. For me it is usually music of some type. It will usually set me in the mood to work.

Option Three: Let your subconscious do the work for you. I believe that all fiction springs from the writer's subconscious mind, so one way to get through the block is to let your subconscious effectively take over. Now this is more about training your brain to be more effective, which I can only tell you what works for me. As far as the subconscious goes, what I do is I write tired if I am struggling. For me that gives my waking mind more access to my subconscious and the wellspring of my personal writing. Of course by doing it this way, I need massive editing to ensure that it is coherent, but it does get me over the hump so to speak.

Now a full plot outline is something many writers use. That may be worth considering, but do not feel obligated to use something so formulaic. What I like to do is have a vague plot and characters, then I write in the moment, which is not that dissimilar to the way Stephen King writes, which brings me to the last piece of advice. First if you do not have it, I highly recommend acquiring a copy of Stephen King's On Writing . I am not sure there is a better book for the actual craft of writing than that. And a part of his advice is to read. If you read many things and expose yourself to many genres that can provide some much needed inspiration. But what I mean by reading, I mean branching out from your comfortable or preferred genres. For example if LotR or Harry Potter are your preferred types of stories read some Herman Melville or John Le Carre or Doyle. Branch out. It might provide that spark to get you through.

Sometimes, all you can do is learn how to force yourself to ignore the stream and continue on.

Try and make a goal.

Alternately, the outline method, which you should know from schoool, albeit for different purposes.

Block out the general outline.
Take it to the next set of details under each point.
Go to the next set of details for each of *those*.
And keep going, and going, and going, bit by bit.

Then you have gone from a very vague outline into an actual story.

Being a writer is much more than having ideas- it's about having the willhour to actually finish what you're working on.

-July, who has a Green Lantern ring

I also have sudden random style changes, so my writing is never coherent.

Think about how the story starts (e.g. where the characters would be in terms of personality and character), and where the story ends. Then work from both ends and meet in the middle. I always find this much easier to work with than just writing linearly, which for me tends to result in less interesting PPC missions and other writing works along with more writers' block and such.

Another suggestion: If you don't know what to do next with your story, improvise! More specifically, try a reasonably random change in events and see how it would affect the characters and progress the story. The less expected an event may be to you, the more engaging the resultant writing may be.

...except the only problem is, I don't really know if I have any to give. I just love writing. It's what I do for fun, it's my main source of entertainment, and it's what I hope to do for a living in the future. I write because it lets me get away from this crappy little corner of the planet I call home. I don't really know how helpful 'just have fun' is. :/

Of course, there are times you have to just grit your teeth and power through a speed bump. Sometimes I jump ahead in the story and write a little bit for a later scene; the scene might not end up getting used because it no longer fits once I go back to connect the dots, but it helps spark new ideas and keep the machine running.

But, when I do happen to get writer's block, what I do is take a break. I go get a snack, play a bit of WoW or Minecraft, or derp around on TV Tropes. Watch MLP or Doctor Who. Daydream about the future. When I come back I'm able to get back into the flow pretty easily and finish whatever I'm working on.

He held out a hand and the Aviator took it, standing as well and yawning.

They headed back to the castle as well, having to jog to keep up with the princess. They followed her through the front doors ...

Actually, I cannot pinpoint why the transition between these two paragraphs doesn’t feel right. It may just be the repetition of "as well" and of "They". Replace the first "They" by "The agents" and remove the second "as well"?

She yawned blearily, though the yawn turned into a yelp when their surroundings changed, dumping them in another flashback.
Shouldn't that be "into another flashback"?

The followed her all the way down to the stables, where she found Sofia grooming Minimus.
Should be "They".

He put his eye to the gap, watching with a sour taste in his mouth as he watched Sofia giggling with the Blue Sue about various things.
Watching as he watched? Sounds a bit repetitive.

Insert generic praise etc. I’m at work and don’t have time.

HG

I knew this fic was going to be mission'd. XD Thank you very much for the writing!

You should be rightly proud of yourself, and I can actually say that on the Board this time because I didn't beta it. The Aviator and Zeb remain one of my favourite agent pairs, and their sheer exasperation was a joy to read.

I'd say keep up the good work, but a) we both know you will and b) you're probably halfway through the next one by now. =]

Five days for this new mission? You're just too good. A bit sad to see Ave is already back at the bottom of the pit though, even with her TARDIS back (I understand why, but...). Please, do no let her return to these... moments in the bathroom.

Still, it's a good mission, and it's so good to see a Sue kill herself. Now that's progress.

Take it from someone who has been doing this for over 16 years, and has worked with some of the greats and even got a Shadowrun mission published: GMing is hard. Like, I've run six campaigns in the last four years, and three fell apart due to a lack of ideas. (Two are currently running, and the first ran for two whole years before everyone finally decided we wanted to do something else.) That said, here are some tips:
*Draw from your setting's established lore. If your setting is homebrew you've got a bit of work cut out for you, but don't ever be afraid to borrow from other settings. I once ran a Dragonlance game that involved an evil wizard who fled into space using a magical airship called a Spelljammer that I stole from another D&D setting.
*Get your players to give you ideas, but be subtle about it. Ask what some of their favorite fantasy tropes are, or what they'd be interested in the future. Have them come up with npcs their characters know, who you can then use to draw them into the story.
*Don't be afraid to make up utter nonsense on the fly, especially if the players are going in an unexpected direction. If it was good enough for Gygax it's good enough for you.
*Never involve flumphs, your players will hate you.

You could have a plot prompt, like "A dragon soars overhead, burning a village" or "You randomly get frozen by an ice wizard and thaw out five years later, in a different world" sort of thing. I've done many RPs before, and they usually happen like that. Odd jobs, then *Bam!* Big Bad plot gets shoved in your face! Try your own thing. You get the hang of things quite quickly.

If the string of unconnected events needs to be connected, you could always say the Big Bad of the unconnected events are working for the Big Bad of the campaign.

If not, then chalk it up to the adventurers just having a rough start and finding their feet doing low-key adventurer stuff.

And for future events, find ways to tie them in to the ultimate Big Bad. :)

Easy as that!

I don't have Civ V, but my brothers yes. I'll show them your mods.

I'm a big fan of Civilization V and I've always been interested in the kinds of mods people can create for it. It's admittedly a distant interest as using those mods is, unfortunately, not within my capability (I've never been able to get mods for the Steam version of Civ V to work on my Apple machine). I especially like how you've integrated your mods with multiple others. Seeing more diverse civilizations is also always a major plus.

My one nitpick ('cause I wouldn't be me if I didn't nitpick something) is that Rwanda seems a bit overpowered with its Inyangamugayo and Abiiru. Three gold per turn is admittedly a lot of maintenance, but that seems worth it for the happiness bonus alone. And getting 10 percent to a random yield in the capitol seems like it could unbalance the late-game (once you've run out of things to spend religious points on and depending on how many you get). But that might just be me. Good job all around, though.

I know you've been working on all of them for some time, and I'm sure they're all well balanced.

(I'm afraid of clicking the link to the Steam page lest something explode, though.)

I'll definitely hunt these down later for when I actually have internet to download things on, from.

-July

Since I never got past Civ III, I probably can’t fully appreciate it.

HG

You people are like drug dealers. Use your power for good.

It's always fun to see different nations than the old standbys getting some screen-time. (Civ IV was pretty bad at that in the expansion - they added the Holy Roman Empire to a game that already contained Germany, for instance.)

((For the following: please bear in mind that I've never played CiV.))

So how much have you had to do to get these working? Back in IV, it would've been... hrm, unique unit and building, some flavour text, choosing traits, a flag, and... I don't remember how much the styling varied between civs, I think some, but probably in cultural groups rather than individually for each. So what'd you need to make for CiV?

(I realise I could probably search up the answer, but when I do that I don't get to have conversations; it's terribly dull.)

hS, still wishing someone would remake the fantasy and space parts of Civ 2: Test of Time...

I don't play Civilization, but I admire mod-builders in general, and I didn't want this thread to go without replies. I'm glad that you've done something you're proud of. {= )

~Neshomeh

It contained good amounts of both comedy and character-based moments (two things I always love to see). While I'm not normally a fan of the "person immediately starts acting dopey after seeing someone they are attracted to" trope, it really works in this situation for two reasons:
— Ilraen has definitely had his dopey moments before this; and
— As was made clear in the text, he had never seen a female of his species before.
Everything fits his character. It especially helps that their personalities clash so much. The story is funny and very well put-together. Kudos to both you and Iximaz.

I only have two little sticking points. The first is regarding the occasional shifts to omniscient perspective. Most of the story seems to be third person limited-omniscient; that is to say, taken from Ilraen's point of view and involving his thoughts. That made the very brief shifts where the audience could see Farilan's thoughts and feelings feel awkward to me. I would argue that this story would be a bit sharper had it been entirely focused on either Ilraen or Farilan.

I also felt that the opening paragraph was a bit clumsy considering that pretty much everything it said about Ilraen's project was repeated later in the story by Ilraen himself. I would argue that saying he was working on the CAD is all that needed to be explained in that opening.

Other than that, I thought this was very good. I look forward to more stories.

Oh my god, poor Ilraen.

(And Nume, for that matter.)

Even though Andalites in general unnerve me a bit. Am I a speciesist? Prolly. Uh-oh. Badgrace is bad and needs to go on another diversity training course. =[

No brain for actual comments, but it seems rude not to at least say it's been read.

hS

Ilraen, forget her please, she's so not worth it.

Alex, your intern is still a brat. Please do your duty as a drill sargeant. Break. Her. And make sure she has to fetch a cocoa several times, until she can bring it while it's still fresh.

I would ask to Nume to show her a glimpse of 'you-know-what', but unfortunately, I'm sure there is laws against that.

Because that's how I feel about the guy right now! Well, Nume figured the whole thing our rather quickly, and it definitely summarizes my own reaction. :D

Love it. Poor Ilraen - I await Farilan's ensuing misfortune, and hope nobody gets too badly hurt in the process. Although it seems like her ego could go through a Category Five hurricane and still be the size of the Chrysler Building...

Also, Nume was priceless.

I don't know how you did such a good job conveying the sheer awkwardness of the situation, but you did it.
I am now patiently waiting for Farilan's comeuppance.

I made my username clickable.

My email is poorcynic AT me DOT com (replacing with symbols where necessary).

Aside from seconding the suggestions for Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, I'm gonna suggest the Callahan series by Spider Robinson. It's about a bar in upstate New York that has all kinds of patrons, from aliens to time travelers. Even a talking dog and a vampire. There's also lots of puns. Like everywhere. Most of the chapter and short story titles are puns.

I'd go with Neil Gaiman (some of his stuff is mature, but a lot can be read by younger kids also) and Terry Pratchett (who is for everybody, regardless of age).

And maybe try some Gentlemen's Bastards (Scott Lynch), A Song of Ice and Fire (GRRM) or The Queen's Thief (Megan Whalen Turner). They're not suitable for a younger audience (except for the first Queen's Thief book) but they have so much politics and intrigues that he'll probably get bored long before he gets to the traumatizing bits.

(Wow, that's a lot of parentheses.)

and still have on my shelves

Well, let's begin with the Young Wizards series by Diane Duane. I actually got into this series in my late teens/early 20s, but it's meant for younger readers, and I reckon a precocious eleven-year-old would get a kick out of it. In this universe, wizards are given their magic by the Powers That Be in order to fight entropy and its originator, the Lone Power. Touches on some serious themes, like death, but in a very positive, empowering way, IMO.

Ooh, there's the Dark Is Rising series by Susan Cooper. Arthurian legend meets Celtic myth meets... okay, I don't know what it meets. Pick a series where plucky kids save the day.

Anything by Madeleine L'Engle is good, particularly the A Wrinkle in Time series. It's sort of science fiction, sort of fantasy, and the last book sort of gets into religious myth. It's quite a ride.

Also, you can't go wrong with classics like Watership Down by Richard Adams, The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, and Black Beauty by Anna Sewell.

Speaking of horses, if you or he are into them, try the works of Marguerite Henry, particularly King of the Wind and Misty of Chincoteague. Oh, and let's not leave out The Black Stallion by Walter Farley.

I hope that gives you something to work with. {= )

~Neshomeh

and I'm going to assume you've already gone for Harry Potter

...can I recommend The Divide Trilogy by Elizabeth Kay? It's about a thirteen year old boy who, while on vacation with his parents in Costa Rica, faints—right over a place called The Divide. When he wakes up, he's in another world where magical creatures are real and humans are the myths. (And the magical creatures all have different names for reasons that are later explained in the books, like tangle-child=elf, japegrin=pixie, stuff like that.)

I will warn that the last book is a bit of a Happy Downer Ending, but I loved this series when I was a kid and can't recommend it enough because it deserves more attention.

It's not entirely suitable for the 1-11 demo, but it is suitable for making sure they go to sleep at night. One good whack and they'll be asleep till morning. Never did me any harm, except occasionally when everything goes grey and I wake up in A&E again. =]

...Started as bed time stories Uncle Rick told his son at night, maybe that could work.

Well, John Flanagan's writings are on the higher end of that age spectrum (actually they're written for middle schoolers, I believe) - but I blame that on the vocabulary. Try out Ranger's Apprentice and Brotherband Chronicles, see if you like them. I certainly do.

If that's not quite your speed, Kathryn Lasky's Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Wolves of the Beyond, and Horses of the Dawn series are also quite good.

How could anyone think that this was in any way a coherent story, much less a good one?

Two questions:
1) Wasn't there a second Sue (James ridian scarlet)? Or did you figure that he's so small a bit that he disappeared with the rest of the fic?

2) I’m going to have a story to tell Gabrielle and Dok when I get back,” Zeb mused.
Who are Gabrielle and Dok?

I'll actually read that, then. ^_~

I would comment that you didn't really give me a feel for what was going on, but I think the agents didn't have a feel for what was going on, so... well done? I think?

Entirely random comments:

-'Thank the Legendaries!'. Am I the only one who momentarily figured Zeb had started worshipping Legendary Badfics there? (... I'm picturing a pantheon that includes Celebrian, Rose Potter, Jenna, and Laura... aaaaaand now I'm reaching for the brain bleach...)

-'Why didn't WhatThe get this fic?'. Was there any reason they should? WhatThe gets fics where the main problem is so out there that Intelligence wouldn't even know where to send it. See: 'the Lust Object is literally God', 'the Hobbits speak in Gaelic', 'it's a Suefic starring the Black Knight what the...?!'. This was... a badly-written story which has all the hallmarks of 'me and my friends go to Hogwarts' (unless all those people are canon characters?). This is my fault; I never really did clearly define what WhatThe do.

hS

And holy Whoever, that was weird. I think that's the first Sue we've seen that accidentally caused inflation of a canon economy.

Also, I know this isn't too relevant, but on a computer screen, everything from ""Each of them have at least 100 million galleons." I heard Uncle Bill mummer appreciatively."" onwards, except for "Liliana nymphedora tonks melody rose julian right ridian- scarlet, also known as Liliana Nymphadora Tonks Melody Rose Ridian Scarlet, also known as [Mary Sue]", looks gray. Is it just the screen I'm using or did something actually go wrong on your end?

I would definitely support Zeb in his efforts to find/make Poffins with Bleeprin in them. :P

Underneath all the 'lolz teh random' humour, horrid English, and indescribable insanity, there might be an actual comedian and writer here.
Though, I imagine you could say that about most suethors.

Now the ... Words here were serious nonsense (No, I'm not gracing that with the term story.).

Hope Ave will really go better. At least, there's no alcohol to be seen around...

P.S.: I'll also go for a happy Boardday.

Do you have newbie statistics? Specifically, how many of them stick around?

This is so professional. Instead of taxes and whatnot, though, we discuss Munchkin and Plort.

Speaking of Plort, I imagine that one day I'll find context for that story, and it'll be so dramatic that I'll fall off my seat and smash my head open on the floor behind me. I'm fine for now.

I first posted my join date on April 27, 2015.

... Now I'll have to go re-read that thread to remember why we needed it. ^^; Was it to see whether there were enough stories to support the awards? ... Or, the number of categories, was it?

In any case, my horrible memory aside, thank you for doing this. And also for doing things, which I initially typed instead by mistake. ^^;

Speaking of things, I was actually sort of hoping there might be another Ardolindi so I'd have an excuse to show you something, but I'll do it anyway. I recently discovered that there's an official soundtrack to go with the 1981 BBC radio dramatization of LotR, and it's all right here on YouTube. Dunno about anybody else, but that intro is instant nostalgia to me. Hearing the music in full is really, really awesome. Kinda reminds me of Ralph Vaughan Williams.

One of the things they did really, really right was to include a lot of the poems and set them to music, so there's bound to be something Dafydd might want to comment on, for better or worse. (There's a lot of good, but also some rather odd, if I'm being honest.) At least, I hope so. {= )

(Also, speaking of music, I finally got McCaffrey/Opland/Freeman's Sunset's Gold and listened to it yesterday, and it's great—even better than the Masterharper of Pern CD, I think. If any Pern fans out there do not have these yet, they need them, stat.)

~Neshomeh, who will try to comment more on this stuff.

Guess introspection is the better course of action for the Baron right now. Having been a politician and a schemer since the moment he appointed the new barons was really too much.

Thhat much Permission attempts?! This Board is really far larger that meets the eye. And Iximaz... This 100 missions objectves is comiing close at light-speed.

Rose Potter is pretty much perfect, and in a good way for once. Now, we only need the card combinaison for Rina and Zeb when they put her down...

I did not expect to be sixth on stories published. Not at all.
Also, a 2:3 yes:no ratio. Wonder what that says about me.
Last but not least, reading the Plort piece made me sad. And feel bad for Baron Huinesoron.

Things I can actually see! (And are short enough for me to read before passing out.) What a surprise.

Plort

There's nothing wrong with introspection. I rather like this piece, and all the floatful rumours within.

It definitely makes sense to me, and strikes a chord here on my end, too- while I've come back, I'm a completely different person than the person who joined, much less the person who had originally left. That, and y'know, that whole getting old thing. (Because we're all old now.)

Statistics

The breakdown by who's granted and denied is ahaha... a bit daunting, oops. I didn't realise I was that stringent?

I suppose the census resultscould also be crammed into that whole thing, too, now that 2015 is truly over.

59 is indeed a high number, certainly. I'm also surprised at how much (as in, anything) I have on there myself.

...Let's see how 2016 turns out!

Munchkin

I have no thoughts or input on Munchkin because I've never played and most of the images refuse to load. For this, I will blame the FCs. (Even though they have nothing to do with the internet.)

[Also also also email me back.]

-July, HTML'd.

Seriously, a third? Jesus, what am I doing with my life?

You're not the only one staring at me. O_o


(Other than that, poor Baron hS. I feel bad for the guy. :( And the combo for Rose Potter made me laugh. :P)

My missions with Doktor Trollenfisch und Gabrielle are both cowrites with Iximaz. So that bumps her total up to 61. Which is amazing and slightly scary.

Also: I think we should start listing Ix Numbers. For instance, those who have never collaborated with Iximaz have an Ix Number of 0. Those who have directly cowritten something with Iximaz have an Ix Number of 1 - so that'd be me, Des, people like that. Huinesoron, on the other hand, hasn't (too my knowledge) directly collaborated on a published piece of content, but he has done something with Nesh in the past, who has cowritten a mission with Ix. This gives hS an Ix Number of 2. And so on from there. =]