Dec 2015 Archive, part b

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU
ON THIS DEAR DATE
MUCH HAPINESS
MANY YEARS OF LIFE!

Also, are you really feeling it, sonofheav- NO WAIT I'M SO SORRY BACKSLASH I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT GET THAT AWAY FROM ME NO NO PLEASE NOOOAIEEEEEEE-!!

*Backslash chases SkarmorySilver offscreen, screaming and brandishing his Monado replica wildly.*

And congrats on getting Xenoblade Chronicles! I've heard loads of good things about it!

LET'S SING~!

Happy Birthday, my olde friend,
it seems this horror show will never end.
Any moment's your last breath,
here is to another day closer to death!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

*blows noisemakers*

(If you think you're old now, at least you're not my mom. She turned 50 yesterday. :P)

And, to be fair, he hasn't actually used the new sonic yet...

It's my eyes. They suck. Might anyone be willing to elaborate on what's wrong with the screwdriver?

12th had this model throughout the entire series 8.

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They're selling Twelve's first sonic screwdriver (also Eleven's by the way), not the new one the TARDIS gifted him by te end of the most recent season.

'Cause it involves FicPsych, and I kinda like to keep an eye on what goes on in FicPsych.

And, I can't help but notice that you seem to have Ami visiting the wrong nurse. You've written a kindly, down-to-earth type person. Loquacious Immac, however, is a bubbly airhead who means well, but is not always 100% up on her situational awareness. FicPsych's Pinkie Pie, if you will.

I'mma take a wild guess at what happened here: You originally wrote the scene for Jennifer Robinson, but somebody pointed out that you'd need my permission to use her, and you didn't want to run the risk of being told no after you'd already finished writing, so instead you ran down the list of Free-to-Use nurses and swapped in Immac's name without stopping to read any of her previous appearances to see what she's like.

I think so because of this line from page 7, which appears to have been missed by the three of you:

Ami pawed at the floor. "Um… I’ll have to pass, thanks. I don’t wanna be late for my session with Nurse Robinson."

How close am I?

~Neshomeh

Not getting the canonical Flowers right is apparently one of his berserk buttons. But I’m not sufficiently confident to throw an in-character fit. Still, I have issues with not daring to divert her gaze from the giant plant and as if a giant telepathic plant wasn’t strange enough.

I assume that the Marquis de Sod is a giant daisy and Captain Dandy is a giant dandelion, so that both can talk on blossom level to the SO, who is just an ordinary sized sunflower. But what exactly is gigantic with the Lichen? Growing all over its office is just what lichen does if nothing inhibits its growth. The scene and the later reminiscence felt to me as if you imagined another plant and missed the opportunity to convey this Department Head’s specific weirdness (like Sarah not knowing where exactly to gaze when it’s actually everywhere).

Also, not promoting my services here, but how could all three of you miss this:
... Nurse Loquacious Immac, who is free-to-use and was created by to Neshomeh.

HG

It's only one part of your roster, and it ends up like this? How the duck managed you to create so much different characters? I already said it, but that shows extreme talent.

(By the way, where did you find your informations about the Arcanae? An handy source on the web could be useful for Persona badfic with OCs, to see if they'e following them correctly).


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Now about this prophecy...


With each passing day, destruction draws near.
Now, it cannot be really much more here, pretty straightforward.

With each passing night brings hatred and fear.
A descent to madness for an Agent?

Though a warrior with eyes of rose will lead,
Problem with prophecy, they can switch between literal-minded and wild metaphor in any second...

A shadow reborn will finish the deed.
If we're really talking about a refomred Sue doing the ded, EVL is a no-brainer, since she is somewhat eborn, passing from ficubus to mere Sue. But it could be a Lengedary needing to be cared for again. (hS's statement about My Inner Life gt me thinking...)

Five shall depart to stand against three.
They jumped to conclusion too fast, a sure sign of misinterpretation. Three could sure be Sues, but also be stories. And five... Well, you're talking about solving some arcs with your teams, and you've got four of them. Only one more group of reinforcements needed...

But four will return, the last set free.
Deat is too obvious in my opinion, something else will happen. Besides, if my statements about teams for five is rue, nothing about 'whole' teams coming back. Perfect groud for playing GRRM.


The sky will be graced with a pillar of flame,
Fire, the Agents' best friend.

Before the crimson beast is brought to shame.
A CAF? Nah, if my statement about stories is true, we're talking about the main course here, nothing less.

Nothing less of Legendary, to be sure. Rest is in your hands, and judging how your missions go, we're in for major fireworks.

It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman! It's Spoilers time with Mattman!


With each passing day, destruction draws near.
Pretty straight forward. A harbinger or embodiment of Destruction approaches.

With each passing night brings hatred and fear.
Is it a Grimm?

Though a warrior with eyes of rose will lead,
Red eyes, take warning.

A shadow reborn will finish the deed.
Knowing prophecies, it's probably not a former sue.

Five shall depart to stand against three.
5 agents versus a trio of Sues.

But four will return, the last set free.
See yeah E.V.L.

The sky will be graced with a pillar of flame,
Pretty straight forward

Before the crimson beast is brought to shame.
The Beast dies. The end.

My current guess for the line up of the undertakers of the supposed mission are the agents of RCs 227 (Rashida Mafdetiti, Falchion, and Velociriper) and 133,316,666 (Rayner and the aforementioned Evangeline von Lilith). I would also like to assume they are going to undertake a Legendary

A few years back, a guy showed up, and then pretty much dove in/announced he wanted to make "better" flashpatches, proceeded to do a bunch in the realm of what he thought was better, uploaded those and replaced many of old ones, and then promptly disappeared.

-July, who liked the older/original ones much better, actually

At this point, I'm not entirely sure myself whether that line was supposed to be simply a throwaway joke, or if Missy was actually being serious. It could be that she's referring to a future incarnation of his (since they're both time travelers, and we know for a fact that the Doctor can't have been female before).

I guess we'll have to wait and see if the subject comes up in a future episode?

The Doctor can't have been a little girl at sone point because the whole plot where Eleven gets a new set of regenerations would be blown apart.

First
Second
Third
Fourth
Fifth
Sixth
Seventh
Eighth
War
Ninth
Tenth
Metacrisis + Regeneration with the same face
Eleven

{/give Doctor new regenerations}

Twelfth

If there had been another regeneration in there... yeah.

...wait, no, wrong one.

That's going to be either really impressive or really gimmicky, and I hope for the fandom's sake it's the former. (Speaking as someone without any of the games past White...yet...)

Hopefully it will come out in the not too distant future!

Pendeleton Ward, Rebecca Sugar, AND her brother/inspiration Steven are lending their talents to the new series

Also, *TWAAAAAAAAAANG*

Even with all my Google-fu, the best results I can get for it are a defunct Pit forum, a dark!Harry fic, and then the PPC Wiki's page. Nobody has saved a copy of it anywhere, not even in sporking format.

Is it really considered Legendary?

Instead of just 'google hits', I suggest the following:

-It is at least five years old. (This could be cut down to 3, but I think 5 is better.)
-It gets a decent amount of Google hits from the past year. (example)

I think this will make sure that the stories that get in have actually attained legendary status, rather than just being a momentary fad, as it were. It's the difference between whatever meme was massively trending this time last year - and 'All your base are belong to us'. You need longevity.

If we had that (or something like that) in there, I would accept this as a good definition for a Legendary Badfic. As it is, I'm still on the fence.

hS

I'll do the same with How I Became Yours. Since the Google hits give us a TV Tropes Article, multiple bad webcomics wiki articles, and even some videos, I think that the Legendary tag is clearly deserved.

I propose that My Inner Life should be Legendary. With an incredibly generic title which is shared by a 2013 film, it nevertheless manages to take over - without quote marks - the first two pages of Google hits. None of those are to do with the mission. The main question is whether MIL is famous in its own right, or as an outcropping of Link's Queen's rants. I think it's the former.

hS

I've held that "Blood Raining Night" is Legendary since I sporked it. See for yourselves, though you'll have to get past the first page, which is mostly hits on the story itself and its fanime on various sites, to really see the amount of discussion about it. I'd point out the TV Tropes and Know Your Meme hits on the fist page as being significant, though, and the fact that my mission doesn't even show up until page 7.

Some of us may recall that a few people have independently brought it up here on the Board, too, which means this might even meet the old standard of plenty of Boarders having heard of it even without my mission.

Full disclosure: I will take great pleasure in adding pages about this story and its Sue to the wiki, should the Board will it. However, I don't really need the glory or fame or whatever of having sporked a Legendary. It's been good enough for me to know it for my own sake for a couple years now, after all.

~Neshomeh

I propose adding Chibiusa's seventh birthday to the list. Here are the Google hits. I think there is a decent amount of them.

As for why it is so bad, well... (WARNING! NSFW, NSFB and definitely triggering section!)

We are taking about a Sailor Moon Bad Slash fic where Chibiusa, a seven year-old, if that wasn't obviously from the title, gets Glaurunging gang raped by every other Senshi, including Usagi and Mamoru, her own future parents! Bad biology abounds here, including Makoto somehow managing to shove all FOUR of her limbs inside the poor little girl's private parts. And by the end of this atrocity, Chibiusa has basically become a sex zombie.

The "majority of PPCers" in the last criterion should be read as "majority of PPCers who have an opinion," as per hS's original phrasing. The idea behind this new method is to make up for the fact that we don't all share the same fandoms anymore, so it's not necessarily possible to come up with a majority of the entire Board. {= )

~Neshomeh

That sounds like a good method of designating new Legendary Badfics, but how do you know if a fic has a decent amount of Google hits? I'm just curious.

Take two.

Unfortunately, my production budget got cut, so I had to dispense with the lights, curtains, and smoke machine. I do have poster board to frame my documents on, however!

Agents Meg Finley and Michelle Rivers

Prompt One: The TwoSue - In which our heroes briefly discuss their last mission, and are graced with another.

Prompt Two: Going Postal - In which Michelle is caught between Meg, FicPsych, and Meg.

Thanks to Scapegrace, the Irish Samurai, eatpraylove, Tira, and James Shields for betaing.

For Meg and Michelle's first mission, they will be tackling this pretty little monstrosity of a Brotherband Chronicles fic.

Legolas being OOC? You have my sword, my bow, AND my axe! :D

If you don't have my e-mail already, it's skarmorysilver (at) gmail (dot) com.

"O Little Town of Ponyville"
(to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem")

O little town of Ponyville,
How still we see thee lie
Enjoy thy deep and peaceful sleep,
For agents are standing by.
We will protect thy canon
Against the badfic blight;
Let Suethors fear and Boarders cheer
Our promise made this night.

Thy canon brings us knowledge
Along with joy and friends
For all of us and those we love,
We'll change how the stories end.
Now, Boarders all, together
Proclaim our cause's worth
By hoof and spell, let friendship's bell
Ring out o'er all the earth.

(I got a little sappy at the end, but w/e, right? Christmas carols are supposed to be sappy.)

To the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", that noted torrent of raw sickliness.

---

I saw Mummy hunting Mary Sues
Somewhere out in Middle-Earth last night,
She didn't see me creep
Through a portal to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
By her Console fast asleep

Then I saw Mummy killing Mary Sues
And I knew they just weren't coming back
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mummy feed them to Ancalagon the Black!

"And the boys from the NYPD choir are singing Galway Bay /
And the bells are ringing out for Christmas day"
-- Fairytale of New York

---

It's far away I am today
From where I whiled those hours
And long ago the day, I know
I first worked for the Flowers
But time nor tide nor waters wide
Can wean my mind of thee
For ever true, I yearn for you
Nouvelle-Calédonie

With proud Time Lords and old Maglor
I've worked with this in mind:
If I might toil and strive and moil,
Nor cast one thought behind;
But what would be the grand array
Of all Word Worlds to me
If mem'ries fading make me stray
From my Calédonie

Oh warm salt air and flowers fair
And cagou birds abound,
But sweeter green the grass between
Than grows on old French ground.
So friendship fond, all wealth beyond,
And love eternally,
Bless each poor home beside your foam,
My dear Calédonie.

Had I youth's blood and hopeful mood
And heart of fire once more,
For all the gold continua hold,
I'd never quit your shore;
I'd live content whate'er God sent,
No more HQ for me.
I'd lay my bones 'neath churchyard stones,
On my Calédonie

The blessing of a veteran
Be with you night and day,
The blessings of a lonely man
Whose heart will soon be clay.
'Tis all the Heaven I'd ask of God
When Sues have finished me,
That I might soar for evermore
Above Calédonie.

That I might soar for evermore
Above Calédonie.

---

That totally counts. =]

As much as I would love to show-off the creative power of my brain, I couldn't think of anything clever... instead, I recorded a cover of Here Comes Mary Sue by LunarHuntress, a spoof on Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry.

WARNING: This cover may cause ear bleed - [CLICK]

...that's dropped off my town's holiday radio stations as of late. I thought I'd give it a badfic spin lol.

----------

Canon Got Screwed Over by a Suvian (to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy)

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Just after the new movie's release,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Unless the author calls desist and cease

She'd been watching it on TV,
And we'd prayed she'd stay at home,
But she'd forgot her inhibition
And she shoved herself into her favorite tome

When we found her latest fanfic,
At a major canon scene,
They were groveling by the dozens,
At least the ones who hadn't turned an envious green

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Now that we just got the newest book,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
And if you don't believe, just take a look

Now we're all so proud of Weasley,
Who's been resisting her load,
See him grumping 'round with Gimli,
Heckling Mary and her friends with good Gaspode

It's not canon with her presence,
All the canons dressed in bleen,
And we just can't help but wonder,
Which should we first extract: her heart, or spleen?
(Take her spleen!)

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Due to the arrival of that new game,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Mary Sues like her, they're all the same

Now the charges are on the notepad
And the weapons, sharp as tacks
We are getting in position
To take her down and bring the canons back

I've warned all my fellow authors,
"Better look at what you write",
You could use a second opinion
If your character never loses a single fight

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Since the latest work is now in store,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
And cleaning after it's always a chore

(Sing it, authors!)

Canon got screwed over by a Suvian
Here it is online for all to see,
You can say there's always badfic for it,
Because we've all been there, take it from meeeeee-eeeee-eeeeeeeeee!

God rest ye merry, Boarders All,
Let nothing ru'in the day;
For know that Huinesoron
Has sporked C*l*br**n--
To save us all from Suedom's ilk
And keep us all insane,

Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

In Iximaz's Google Drive,
Rina Dives was born!
And tackled Rose Potter
And to a Time Lord turned.
At which her partner, Zeb,
Did nothing take in scorn.

Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

From Miss Cam's blessed mind did come
A university--
And unto certain fangirls
Brought canon ficcery;
So that in the Pit's archives
Some goodfic there might be!

Oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This is by far my favorite Christmas carol, so I thought I would try my hand at PPCing it. ^_^ I hope hS and Ixi don't mind being featured! (Miss Cam, too, but I doubt she'll ever know of it.)

-Alleb

(Which you can watch/listen to with Pentatonix)

Kaitlyn wrote this about six months ago, but she's now chickened out of posting it. So I'm doing it for her. ^_^

The shocking thing is that no-one's done this song before. Yes, it's about Sue-hunting - but with that title, could it ever be anything else?

---

Mary, Did You Know?

Mary did you know,
That your fav'rite boy
Is under our protection?
Mary did you know,
We're on FF-N,
We're monit'ring all sections
Did you know there are rules against
What you are trying to do?
This canon is protected:
Can't say the same for you.

Mary did you know,
It's been done before,
This story's not the first one
Mary did you know,
If I'm being fair,
This story's not the worst one
But it's dull, and the characters
Are all behaving wrong
And so I bring this charge list,
Set in the form of song . . .

Your grammar sucks,
They're OOC,
You can't do that with pears
If this had been
Original
I wouldn't have to caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!

Mary did you know,
There's no point in running
We will only catch you
Mary please let go
There's no point in clinging
We will just detach you
Did you know
I'm not paid enough to listen to you cry
This is how the story's ending:
This is how you die!

---

hS (and Kaitlyn-who's-out-of-the-room-ha-ha)

But I hope you'll like it. 'Glitters', inspired from 'Snowflakes', from Persona 4 Golden.



Glitters falling on your face
A cold wind blows away the canon from this verse
But in our memories it stays, this is where we say farewell
And the wind, it feels a little colder now

Here sanity's run out like a spell, but Duty's our vow
This is where we saw it through
Thick and thin - this partnership, it was built to last
Here we swore that we'd be true to canons that were forged in our pasts

I'm Fall Out Boy trash

These are your good fics
Don't take my advice
You've never written the nice ones anyway
And I'm of good cheer
'Cause I've been checking my list
The gifts you're receiving from me
Will be

One awesome sporking
And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep
Staying up, waiting by the screen
And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last fic to me
Before you bury yourself alive

Don't write fics for Christmas
You're the last thing I wanna see
In the Archive
Merry Christmas, I could care less

Happy New Years, Badfics
You owe me
The best gift I will ever ask for
Don't call me up, when the Glit' comes down
Its the only thing I want this year

One awesome sporking
And two hopes you cry yourself to sleep
Staying up, waiting by the screen
And all I want this year is for you to dedicate your last fic to me
Before you bury yourself alive

Don't write fics for Christmas
You're the last thing I wanna see
In the Archive
Merry Christmas, I could care less

Don't write fics for Christmas
You're the last thing I wanna see
In the Archive (Don't write fics for Christmas)
Merry Christmas, I could care less

Don't write fics for Christmas
You're the last thing I wanna see
In the Archive (Don't write fics for Christmas)
Merry Christmas, I could care less

[A Badfic Author, all speshul and stuff:]
Sweet! They've started a holiday game!
They must've spent a lot of time on this...
But this one time, this one Christmas I wrote this-
[beeps Deck the Halls]

Sorry about that title... (Not sorry!)

Based on Sleigh Ride, more specifically the version by The Ronettes, which is why the "Giddy Up" part is missing. https://youtu.be/FXlsWB1UMcE


Just hear those consoles jingeling
Ring-ting-a-tingeling too
Come on, there's awful writing
Needs plenty of smiting with you.

The Canon's slowly dying
And everyone's crying, "A Sue!"
Come on, there's bad narration
Needs eradication with you

Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding

Our knives are long and sharpened
And angry and hardened are we
We have to kill the story
And it will be gory, you'll see

Let's charge the Sue with her crime
Then stab her one time or two
Come on, there's painful plotting
Could use some mocking with you

Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding

x2

Our knives are long and sharpened
And angry and hardened are we
We have to kill the story
And it will be gory, you'll see

Let's charge that Sue with her crime
Then stab her one time or two
Come on, there's painful plotting
Could use some mocking with you

Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding
Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-diiiiiing-dooooong-diiiiiiiing

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You head the Filk Division
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You head the Filk Division
When holly decks halls in HQ
You wear it on your branches too
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You head the Filk Division

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
Your agents kill bad filk songs
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
Your agents kill bad filk songs
Why do they have to be like this?
Peace in our RCs would be bliss
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
Your agents kill bad filk songs

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
What is that smell of burning?
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
What is that smell of burning?
We know that badfic takes the crown,
But please put that flamethrower down
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
What is that smell of burning?

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
It's warm and safe in FicPsych
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
It's warm and safe in FicPsych
You'll be the only Flower there,
But you'll just love the Kudzu's care
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
It's warm and safe in FicPsych...

Decided to deviate from what might be considered a 'traditional' holiday song, but... To the tune of "What's This?", courtesy of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The Troll

What's this? What's this?
There's Suethors everywhere
What's this?
There's Slashfic in the air
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes
I must be dreaming
Wake up from this fic nightmare—
What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
These Sues are singing songs

What's this?
The streets are lined with
Uncanon couples banging
Everybody seems so happy
Has the entire world gone daffy?
What is this?
What's this?

There's characters from crossed over
continua, I fear
They're busy wrecking canon
And none of them can care

There's the Doctor kissing Malfoy
Oh, I can't believe my eyes
Did Legolas just wed that Sue
Did Boromir survive?

Oh, look
What's this?
They're throwing a Yule Ball, (Again?)
For the sake of bad romance! (Of course.)
They're gathering around to hear a story
How Harry became pregnant
What's this?

What's this?
Torchwood's been crossed with MLP, how queer
And who would ever think
And why?

They're ruining it with self-insert Mary Sues
They've got uncanon couples here
And there's a smile on everyone
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun
This looks like fun
Oh, could it be I got my wish?
What's this?

Oh my, what now?
I could write one myself
But look, no inspiration here
Oh well, don't care at all so time to fake it
Or plagiarize, only little tiny things
No-one would notice or care...

What's this?

The canons are all missing
And the Suethors can't be found
And in their place it seems as though
Nothing but trolls abound

Instead of love, I swear
I can hear screaming in the air
The smell of blood and death
are absolutely everywhere

The sights, the sounds
They're everywhere and all around
I've never felt this good before
I revel in the hatred and the flames of angered fans
I simply cannot get enough

I want it, oh, I want it
Oh, I want it for my own
I've got to know
I've got to know
What is this place that I have found?
What is this?

I originally planned to submit this during last year's game, but I ran out of time. This song is from Ami's point of view at the time I decided to make her one of my agents. The original is one of my favorite Christmas carols simply by virtue of it being from Mary's point of view. Enjoy!

"Breath of Canon" (aka Ami's Song)
(to the tune of "Breath of Heaven")
I have traveled many moonless nights
Lost and lonely, with no path in sight
And I wonder what I've done
Mighty Author, You have come
And chosen me now to protect Canon

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Canon, hold me together
Be forever my strength, breath of Canon
Breath of Canon, fight off the darkness
Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy
Breath of Canon

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser mare should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Canon, hold me together
Be forever my strength, breath of Canon
Breath of Canon, fight off the darkness
Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy

Breath of Canon, hold me together
Be forever my strength, breath of Canon
Breath of Canon, fight off the darkness
Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy
Breath of Canon, Breath of Canon
Breath of Canon

And even the crickets weren't chirping any more.

I've finally managed to secure a part-time zookeeper position, starting in January. Now that I have my foot in the door in that regard, I can dial back on my night shifts and volunteer days, and therefore start spending time in the chat again! Yay?

—doctorlit seriously hasn't had a day off since October, you guys

Wherein I will clarify rules if asked.

hS

In circle C5, the word 'Scrabble'. The 'A' (C5-NE) should go on point 3. The 'L' modifier (C5-SW) should go on point 1.



1 point to Huinesoron. Game is open to all players.

hS

We have four words on the board so far, and lots of circles open for new words to break in. If we can keep the game going, I think we're not far off the first two-words-at-once round.



hS

But then I'll jump right in. XD This looks fun—I love Scrabble and I love Circular Gallifreyan, so combining the two should be awesome!

Very strong.

I think I've been watching this video repeatedly for a while now...this guy is amazing! That and he just summarised the Star Wars series. Though...more comedic. X3

That was a really fun video!

Is that a mini?

But OMGOMGOMG WHO'S EXCITED FOR MOAR POTTERVERSE CERTAINLY NOT ME WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT

*faints from excitement*

He doesn't suffer from thesaurus disease or anything, but his prose — especially his fight scenes, oh gods his fight scenes — is so loaded up with unnecessary detail that it bogs down everything else. For example — when it takes you a whole episode to mention a sparring match happens in a room because you're so busy describing each and every move, you're not doing it right.

I would have to mention that a Persona 4 badfic that was reported by Hardric a while ago. Here are some of the urplest passages:

"The sky rippled a beautiful red and black, but it wasn't reachable. It was the only thing the fog couldn't touch- and naturally, if it couldn't reach it, then I certainly couldn't. The fog was ubiquitous. It was my reality to wander the infinite fogbank.

The world was sky and fog and shadows; eternal and immutable. Against infinity, a moment is useless. That was why I didn't keep memories. This was a world where nothing worth preserving happened; there was no growth, no change. Stagnation defined this worthless realm, an eternity of perpetual peace drowned in the fog."

"...Human faces that stared out of the inky shadows of the world.

I heard a cry of grief; a wailing dirge from the uncountable to a single extinguished life that pieced my chest with empathetic heat. I was being ripped apart, parts of me that I never knew existed pulled in opposite extremes-"

"This place was at peace, I realized. That was why it was so terrifying. This was a place that had decided entirely what it was to be for all eternity, and would resist all change to that end. Time would not flow here. The fog would not lift.

It was the most permanent sort of mask. A seal never to be broken."

I was going to talk about Twilight and Inheritance, especially Roran's speechs, but now I saw the first chapter of the Eye, I'm not so sure anymore about this. I think I gazed into the end of all good writing, and it was horrible.

Don't believe me?

See for yourself.

(Content of story is NSFW in parts.)

Luke Skywalker is the Rani.

hS

"New NTV schedule's up."

Laura looked up from the disassembled rifle scattered across the table in front of her. "How much of it is Lord of the Rings themed?" she asked.

James tapped on the link before swiping his fingers a few times across his tablet screen. "Counting Nutmint?" he asked.

"Yeah, counting that."

"Eh… over a third, I'd say."

"Hah!" Laura clenched her artificial fist in triumph. "Told you so. You own me five bucks. Any video game related stuff?"

James sighed and shook his head as he continued to skim through the schedule.

Laura was emitting smugness the same way uranium gives off radiation. "Two for two! That's ten bucks you owe me now."

"I suppose so," James said, slightly sour. "They do have something about the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The upcoming Star Wars movie, too."

"Really? Huh. Must've gotten a newbie. You know, someone who joined the PPC within the last decade." Laura returned her attention to the piecemeal weapon. "Thank God for alternative streaming options."

~~~~~

It's all meant in good fun. The schedule is a nice way to get a look at a bit more of the PPC as a world, even if it is somewhat repetitive. I like the new look of your website. Very creative, very colorful. I'm also a big fan of the new timelines; they're very nifty.

I don't have time to read all of it right now, but I'm looking forward to P@L's essays later! I didn't even know about those.

I mean, the concept is hilarious, but I can't imagine it would get too many viewers.

...unles it's actually footage taken from one of the no-drool videos and the whole thing is bleeped and blacked out so nobody breaks down sobbing...

Also, loving the redesign! It looks great!

The broadcast schedule has me truly cackling, now having the opportunity to see both. (I would love to see snippets of that 'sitcom' written out, actually).

The revamp looks fantastic (and I truly enjoy how hub page looks!) The timelines are also very, very very useful, especially for a July who is doing things and yes.

-A July, Most Enticed and wishes had more time to browse through everything

We now have "glitter free" labels for those with Suvian intolerance.

—The Cafeteria Team 864
The More You Know!

As far as I know, not all sues are human, and those that are tend to be consumed by things that aren't. Like vampires. Not that sues even really count as people, so I'm not even sure you could call it cannibalism if a human agent ate a human sue. After all, humans typically don't have glitter in their veins.

Since sues are biologically vastly different than humans, I think it's safe to say that only a reformed sue eating another sue could be called (guiltless) cannibalism, and even then they'd have to be the same species for it to count.

"Mary Sues are not real people, so killing them is not murder. Some agents may even eat Sues (see Sue Soufflé) or drink their blood, though most find the very idea to be revolting."

And cannibalism, by definition, is 'the act or practice of humans eating the flesh or internal organs of other human beings.'

In my opinion, no. It doesn't count as cannibalism, although it may borderline it, if you enjoy the taste.

You have it as 88224646AB a few paragraphs in.

His call for a new female Smasher appealed to the Ironic Overpower and led to Bayonetta's inclusion. No other explanation would do.

IO, shaping even World One to suit itself ^^.

On a less happy note, European fans are once again left in the gutter about release dates. For Gygax's sake, is it so hard to make a western release for both of the continents at the same time?

Hardric, waiting for an actual European date for Fates.

I just brought in a character who I already had who had been sitting collecting dust because his story had been abandoned. For his partner, I made a deliberate non-character. I decided to take someone from a story with plenty of plot holes, who had just been glimpsed for a second and had no personality of his own, and assign a personality to him.

I look at creatures or characters, and try to imagine how they'd look if I were the one in charge of designing them.

I created William because I wanted someone who uses magic (and as much as I love Harry Potter, their magic system is... too simple) and I was hesitating between The Mortal Instruments and The Dresden Files. In the end, TMI won because of more possibilities.

As for VJ... Hmm, good question. I guess I got inspired by Wendy from Gravity Falls.

So my idea is, pick continuum you know. Maybe not best, maybe not a die-hard fan who can nitpick every single thing, but one continuum that you return to the most and you can really feel comfortable writing.

Chris is the PC from my old Silver version game, and Ami is my ponysona even though I never actually wrote a story about/featuring her before the PPC. If you have any old or abandoned OCs/self-insert characters kicking around, try rewriting one of them to fit the PPC.

But I can tell you what I did with my agents.

-Des is a self-insert with a twist. The question here is, "how would I look like if I lived in a different world and took one significant different turn?"
-Anebrin was supposed to be a counterpoint to Des, but I'm not sure I managed to do any of that. One of the reasons I wrote him out of my spinoff (sans a possibility of showing up in Ispace, maybe) is because I figured he's flat and I have no idea how to make him three-dimensional.
-The Librarian began his life as a joke; hS (if I am not mistaken) posted a thread asking "what would be your Renegade Time Lord name?" Somewhere along the line, Lump evolved from "Time Lord!me" to this amalgamation of all of my less-than-stellar traits mixed with a hefty dose of racism. Of course, [spoilers] is going to [spoilers] — hopefully we'll publish it soon.
-Navare is a recruited bit. What's happening to him is actually quite similar to what Nesh described &mdassh; I'm trying to take the little characterisation he got in his horrible home fic and extrapolate a three-dimensional character from it.
-Amris is, if you'll pardon my Tropense, is the Red, slightly deranged Oni to Navare's Blue. I imagine the Marquis de Sod put it with Navare because Navare can keep it in check, and might prove to be a stabilising influence on the "something went wrong when they made it" part of its personality. Of course, it's not the only possible outcome...

...is to take an original character of yours (whether for original fiction or fanfiction) and recruit them. I've both done this and seen it done. In the PPC at large there are recovering Sues, characters from semi-fic blips, characters from original fiction, and, I expect, characters from published fanfics. In my own work... while most of my agents do not fit this pattern, at least two of them do: Flash, who I'm not sure has gotten an appearance yet (except possibly in an rp?), is one of a cast of main characters in an original book I've been writing for a while, and, of course, the Reader, who hails from a DW screenplay fanfic I wrote back in 2011 for the now canceled ScriptFrenzy (NaNoWriMo's team used to run it, and the general idea was to write a 100-page screenplay in April. They closed it a year or several after I did it, and it hasn't been back, although there's certainly nothing stopping anyone from writing screenplays for their other events.)

Beyond that, though, I'm pretty sure most of my characters were created for the PPC (using a workshop of PC's, in one case, though her appearance is still very much in the works), or else (in a few cases) were rescues. But yeah, recruiting your own fanfic or original fiction characters can work as well.

~DF, who is not usually up this early but is only just now beginning to regret it a little

In preparation for a new project, I've had to come up with a whole slate of new characters - I need a cast of 14 (!!!), and only two of them are pre-existing. So I've had ample opportunity to observe exactly how I invent them!

What I've discovered is that my characters tend to come into existence not as a single idea, but by the combination of two. These ideas tend to be:

-Species/origin.
-Personality.
-Role in the PPC.
-Backstory.

So, for instance, one character is a Thomas the Tank Engine train. That's idea number one, but it doesn't inform an entire character. Combine that with a job description that keeps it in one place the whole time, though, and a character starts to come together: one who's dedicated enough to keep working on the same thing even though their entire life is contained in a single loop of track, and who is probably a little too geeky.

Another pair of characters came together from the manner of their arrival in the PPC, and the fact that they are two members of the same group of friends, but never really got on themselves - but are now stuck working together. I don't yet know the precise details of their personality conflict - I suspect that the first lines of their story will give me one, and the other will grow to bounce off them - but I have the clay I need to start with.

Know what's entirely missing from this, though? Things like the following:

-Name.
-Sex and gender.
-Appearance.

Those are pretty much the last things that need to be stuck on a character. At the moment, only three of my characters have genders - two of them are the preexisting ones, and the third is a fictionalised historical person. Two of those are the only ones with names. I have no idea what the ones outside that trio look like. At least one doesn't even have a species assigned yet!

Because those things... really are unimportant, despite the fact that people think of them as the first thing they need. If you asked me to write Dafydd Illian as a warty-skinned squat alien named Kzarth (who belongs to the fourth sex of yer species, which has seven), I could do that easily: the essential 'utterly convinced of yer own superiority, but not that of yer people necessarily' would be easy to pull through. But ask me to write the tall son of Feanor Dafydd Illian as a shy introvert? I couldn't do it; I'd be writing a completely different character.

Your agent already has one idea: they need to be a partner to your other one. Find a second idea. Maybe there's a species ["NOT TIME LORD!" ~ Morgan] you always wanted to play with. Maybe you can find them a backstory in the PPC - perhaps they used to work in a defunct department, or they've just transferred from Infrastructure to Action, or they were involved in the Macrovirus epidemic and have had intense germophobia ever since. Maybe (because there are exceptions to every rule) you can come up with a name that means things in half a dozen languages, and want to make a running joke out of that. All of these things can inform and plant the seed of a personality.

hS

I was going by the whole 'opposite personalities get assigned as partners' deal, so I first looked at my existing agent. Rina was brash, loud, and bratty. Zeb, therefore, was going to be timid, quiet, and a very sweet person. Bing bang boom, general character traits were ready to go. All that was left were tweaking the personality and making it more three-dimensional. I did this by considering his backstory.

I am a big believer in that the 'why's are just as important as the 'what's, since that helps me get a better feel for my characters and think about how they react in certain situations. For example, why was Zeb timid and quiet? Since I was in a bit of a Nuzlocke phase at the time, I decided he was going to be a Pokémon. He was a seasoned fighter (being a Pokémon), so getting sent to the DMS made sense, and he had reasons for his timidness (coming from a Nuzlocke game). This told me he'd have the capacity for bravery when needed; his character was going to be more 'cowardly lion' than just straight-up 'coward'. I wouldn't have arrived at this conclusion without knowing the cause for his personality traits, hence why I think backstory should play at least a part in deciding characterization.

-Iximaz, who should really be asleep right now and probably will think she made this post drunk when she wakes up tomorrow

Especially because almost every single one of my PPC characters was rescued from a badfic, either actual or imaginary.

If that approach doesn't suit you, though, you could always try dredging up old OCs and seeing if you could create stronger characterization for them. That approach is what I did with Falchion, Rashida, and to some extent, Lapis (who wasn't technically rescued in a mission, since I wrote that I ditched her homefic before anyone could spork it).

Or you could just pick a random concept you think would be suitable and go nuts like I did with Whitney. The key word is "suitable", though - just because you want to write that sort of character doesn't always mean it'll fit the PPC. But hey, no pressure :)

Three of my four action agents are former bit characters. It's fun to take a tossed-off concept and turn it into a full, three-dimensional character that people actually care about. You'll find a few adoptables here (though I have vague designs on Iskillion and Delroch, and the latter's a horse anyway), but you might do better to ask around; that page is sadly neglected.

Also, whether you use a recruited bit character or make a new character all your own, take a look at PoorCynic's Character Creation Workshop for some helpful advice.

~Neshomeh

Agents: The fact that Meg "pushed the boundaries on what constitutes ‘torture’ once or twice" sent up a red flag for me, but as long as you don't go overboard with her and see to it that any inappropriate behavior has proper consequences, I think you should be fine there.

SPaG: Looks good. Thumbs up. Not much else to say here, move along.

Prompts: First one looks good. I was entertained, and I got a feel for the agents' characters. The second one was good in the same way, but there was some stuff that I didn't like too much. See below.

PPC Knowledge: Why was Meg, who was close to going crazy on everyone to the point where a nurse tried to tase her and she had to be sent to FicPsych, allowed to have visitors? That's a major safety hazard to both parties, and even if you were going by the rationalization that 'she'd help her calm down', the nurses wouldn't want to risk it because of the sheer unpredictability of what might happen. I'm not even going to go into how incredibly calm the nurse was about crazy-Meg escaping from her cell, never mind how she did that in the first place. Come on, HQ gets much crazier agents needing to be restrained; those cells would be pretty hard to break out of.

A few more points: I'd need hS to comment, but I'm pretty sure that Constance Simms was just a FicPsych nurse, never a patient. Then there's this "door to HQ" located in Switzerland. That's not to say HQ can't have other access points besides New Caledonia, but for the sake of requesting Permission it would probably be better to stick to established canon to show you know your stuff. I'm also going to flag the note about how Meg "can usually be found wearing either the department jumpsuit". The PPC doesn't really have a uniform; aside from early mentions in TOS and maybe some other spinoffs, it seems to have become 'whatever the agents want to wear, as long as it involves black and has the flash patch somewhere'.

So, I'm going to have to say Permission Denied, but just barely. Everything else looks great; just make sure you've got your PPC knowledge straight next time and you'll be golden.

Going Postal. Sorry about that.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

I loved it. It looks awesome and it rhymes very well with A New Hope. My only two serious complaints are that the Big Bad's name is Snoke &damsh; It threw me straight out of the movie; how can you take a guy named Snoke seriously — and that the First Order uses Anvillicious Nazi imagery. I'm also sad that there no Y-Wings, but eh.
Overall I had lots of fun!
Also, speculative question: who's the old guy who told Poe Dameron to scram at the beginning of the movie? He looked like a Jedi to me.

Spoilers, probably

They make the point that 'Mary Sue' is now a vague term which at times approaches meaning 'any female main character' - which is an excellent point.

Actual spoilers follow, after a quick break.

---

Are YOU tired of cleaning up after your partner? Do YOU wish they'd stop collecting so much useless junk from their missions? Does their side of the Response Centre look like a cross between a junkheap and a biology lab gone wrong?

Why not try getting a MINI-BALROG? Easy to feed, easy to care for, easy to entertain - and perfect for incinerating your partner's rubbish while they're not looking! Apply now to Cassie at the Mini Adoption Centre, or contact OFUM for more details.

(The Mini Adoption Centre takes no responsibility for loss of life, limb, likeability, or lard incurred by such wanton acts of unkindness against your partner. A mini is for life, not just for bin day. Always drink responsibly.

---

Is Rey a Suvian by PPC standards? Multiple characters trust her very quickly without much reason - BB-8, Finn, Chewie, Han. She gets new abilities as the plot demands (specifically I'm thinking of 'oh, I speak Wookiee now'), and becomes proficient in various Force-related disciplines very quickly.

But no, she isn't. Two key reasons:

1/ The villain never treats her like one. She receives exactly the same treatment as his previous prisoner. Given that he's the one person she would have needed to warp, that's a big one.

2/ While people like her, they don't really do things for her. Finn and BB-8 get rescued by her. Han agrees to help BB-8. Maz responds to the will of the Force, not any particular liking for Rey (and my pet theory is that Maz tries to fob that lightsaber off on someone every year or so, but they never take it.) Kylo Ren captures her because she has something useful to him. Finn goes to rescue her - but she doesn't actually need it, so I don't think it counts.

Good guys in Star Wars films are pretty much always immediately trusted by other good guys. You can't pin that on Rey. And the Force is a mysterious and powerful ally.

hS, museful

The film was pretty interesting to see, and hooks us up pretty well in my opinion, since I want so much to see the next parts. I've got to see the end of this. Even if you can really see the parallel to Episode IV, it's not unbearable, and a good thing. It's not the best of series, but it's a thing to watch. But before I go back to my cave to play/mourn with Revan and Meetra Surik

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers
Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers
Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers Spoilers

They. Threw. A. Dead. Herring. At. Our. Face. With Meyer-grade subtlety. Hope it will be an only child...

And for the 'speculation'... 1 grand on 'Rey Skywalker'.

Also to remain spoiler-free:

Movie was good; it felt a bit like a recycled "A New Hope", but I still enjoyed it. One of the characters seemed to pick up skills too quickly to be plausible, but I think that's really my only complaint.

Also, fabulous hair. That is all.

(I'm not sure what you're talking about with the opening: that's, um, how every single Star Wars movie starts? What was different here?)

Um... basically my comment is 'squeeeeeeeeeee!'. There aren't many movies I want to see twice in cinema - this is one of them.

One thing I really liked (on thinking about it) was the new protagonist trio. They managed to be at the same level as the protagonists of A New Hope, without being carbon copies of them. Without spoilers, I can say:

-A New Hope featured a naive farmboy who lost his family, a disreputable smuggler, and a princess who immediately got captured. All three are at a pretty low ebb in the early parts of the movie, and we get to see their struggle to actually impact the world around them.
-The Force Awakens trio (actually it's a bit more complicated than that, but still) also all hit that level of 'low' early on. None of them start the main plot in positions of strength, which makes it interesting to follow them climbing back up. But while, arguably, one character is similar in summary to one of the original three, the other two fall into entirely new categories.
-In stark contrast, the four protagonists of The Phantom Menace are: a pair of galaxy-renowned Jedi, a ruling queen, and a superpowered slave boy. While Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Amidala all get into difficulties, none of them lose their positions of power. The Jedi just needed to find a ship; Amidala just needed to reach Coruscant. Anakin is the only one who's ever 'weak', but he is immediately told he'll be rescued by deus ex Jedi.

Compare the prequel's 'bother, our ship is a bit broken, we'd better stop to fix it' with ANH's 'my family are dead and the planet I was supposed to go to is dead and now my mentor is dead too!'; which one sounds like a more interesting character arc? If you said the second one, you're right - and that's the sort of thing you'll see in The Force Awakens.

(Though not those specific troubles. Obviously.)

I loved the various ways the film paid homage not just to the original movies - lots of lines and visuals in there - but also to the dear departed EU. Unnnnfortunately they're all spoilers. ;) But I spotted things that felt like references to everything from the X-Wing books (a certain character is clearly ex-Rogue Squadron) to... er, what was the last thing we had? That, anyway. ^_^

(There were also a lot of older actors who got inexplicable closeups; I really have to wonder if they were original/prequel actors. If you watch it, look for the woman who tends someone's injury; who is she?)

As Superfluity says, it was also gorgeous. You could absolutely tell that the outdoor sequences took place in actual, physical environments, and it did wonders. A few of the 'matte paintings' (which I assume were digital) looked a bit off, but other than that: stunning.

So what didn't I like? Mostly three things:

1/ Sadly, the X-wing sequences were less good than they should've been. Partly because they were the most obviously CG (even if they weren't CG!), and partly because... well, remember how in ANH you actually felt bad when Porkins and Biggs died? Yeah, I can't name any of the pilots in this one (other than one we'd already met), and have no idea which of them survived the film. The way we flashed between them felt like I was supposed to care, but I... didn't. (Makes me wonder if there's a deleted scene where we meet the squadron.)
2/ There's one sequence which seems to indicate you can see planets in other star systems in real-time from the ground. That's... wrong. :-/ (The alternative is that there are seven worlds in close proximity in the same system, which would work, but doesn't seem to be what they were aiming for.)
3/ There's no easy way to say this, but... one character is totally Voldemort, in his bald-snake-face period. I don't know what he's doing there, but I'm sure it isn't good.

Overall? I said in advance that I wanted this to be to ANH what Jurassic World was to JP.

It isn't.

It's better.

hS

PS: And I am ridiculously pleased that it's possible to summarise about half the plot in one incredibly spoilery word. ~hS

I really enjoyed the movie! I wasn't sure what to expect going in, because I'd done a very good job of staying away from spoilers. I'd rewatch it, it was super fun.

This story here is a bit better than most in regards to horrible metaphors, but it still has some moments. 'Velociraptor love Tabasco' really stands out. Oh, and I do remember something about a 'purple shotgun' but that's all I've got off the top of my head. If, for some reason of questionable sanity, you want to read this thing, here it is (Jurassic Park, btw):

http://www.jamesleffler.com/2012/04/11/root-her/

Here is a list of ways genitals have been described.
Including a phrase I found myself called "Ninja growing rod"

Here is a list of things used for lube and condoms that shouldn't be used for Lube or condoms.
This list includes "Werewolf spit with magical lubricating properties" and "(Apple) pie filling"

*shudders*

As far as unfortunate imagery goes, I've noticed that a lot of bad slash authors like to describe a certain body part with phrases like, 'chocolate hole' and 'delicate brown starfish.' I have absolutely no idea why.

And then there's Celebrian (what with the... lavender bits), but we don't talk about that.

I once read on TV Tropes of a Kingdom Hearts badfic (trollfic? crackfic? IDK) which described someone's lower-deck plumbing, if you know what I mean, looking like a Koosh ball. Try getting that out of your head. O_o

I came out to have a good time, and I was honestly feeling so attacked when I saw what happened.

Scape and I have since settled things, however, and I will be co-writing the mission with her once I come back from DC after Christmas. Thanks to all of you guys and gals for your help regarding this matter!

-SS

Let's see if we can't get a halfway interesting mission out of you when you've got a bit of adult supervision. =]

OK, NOW it's clickable. If you still can't see it, it's skarmorysilver (at) gmail (dot) com.

Granted!

*throws cakefetti*

Your characters look solid, your grasp on PPC knowledge looks good, and I was entertained as I read the stories. I will note your SPaG was a bit shaky in places, but it's nothing a good going-over by a beta (or several) won't hopefully fix. You took the advice offered in your last few attempts and improved on it. While I don't know the continuum to make a call on the badfic, well. Badfic is badfic is badfic, and even without knowing the characters I think I can point out what's wrong with it.

So yes, third time's the charm indeed. Use your newfound power responsibly. :P

I'll be praying for you too.

I hope it's not too serious and that you'd be okay. Get well soon!

Hope you get better soon. * hugs *

And that you feel better.

I really hope it's nothing. Really do. Good luck!

Hope it will really be nothing, Matt.

We thank Iximaz, SeaTurtle, Scapegrace and for their beta services.
Was this meant to be "and HG"? Sorry.

If she’s said how she managed it, I haven’t been been informed
Too many "been".

New regenerations usually aren't, in my [knowledge and admittedly] limited experience.
I wonder how the Reader pronounced the brackets.

Slowly, Des got up and went to the console; he muted at and looked at the message attached to the summary.
Should be "it".

... the other bit security guard returning with the body of his comrade and being beamed up the Enterprise ...
Shouldn’t this be "up to the Enterprise"?

HG

After seeing the reactions to "Excuses and Accusations" and "No More Mr Nice Guy", Des and Dawn and I have talked things over and agreed to temporarily remove these stories for rewriting.

Apologies to anyone who was offended. We never meant to do that.

Lesson learned. We'll do better next time.

First off, I want to apologize that so much of what I have to say is rather negative. Overall, I think your writing was very good, and I especially enjoyed the first mission. That said, my issues with some of the pieces are far more complicated than my enjoyment of the rest of them, and I'm afraid that I feel somewhat obligated to dedicate rather more words to.

As a minor criticism, I notice that Des seems to have his own set of nicknames that he uses for people. While that's an acceptable character trait, it gets a little confusing at times, as some of them aren't really intuitive to the reader. I was especially confused by the fact that he calls the Reader Saa, but the Librarian and the Aviator call her Xan.

I have to admit that I share hS's concerns with regards to "Excuses and Accusations." Overall, it just has a strong sense of mood whiplash to it. The Librarian's reaction is so over-the-top at first that it almost comes off as a form of black comedy, and then we go into a very personal exploration of his feelings. I mean, I understand where he's coming from, and I think you did a good job with it, but it just feels kind of uneven.

I also found the specific insults that he throws at the Aviator to be kind of uncomfortably crossing a line. I get that the Librarian's a jerk, but calling her a “whore” in particular is just so strongly and unnecessarily gendered and sexualized that it makes me flinch a bit. Maybe if he was someone cruder I could forgive it, but it didn't exactly fit his character; the Librarian's never shown any sort of gender-based prejudices, and there are several other insults he could have chosen. And I get that the Aviator isn't exactly in a state of mind to object specifically to that, and that it's a relatively minor issue in the grand scheme of things, but the fact that everyone just ignores it rubs me the wrong way.

Finally, I feel as if there are a few holes in the story. First off, it doesn't really make sense for the Riddle of the Osirians to be something that both the Aviator and the Reader are able to recognize at a glance, but the Librarian has to pour over. It seems to suggest that both of them possess significantly greater language skills than he does; but the Librarian has devoted years to studying this, whereas they only have a casual interest. I could excuse it for the sake of humor in a lighter piece, but considering the serious nature of the interlude, it just feels incongruous. Secondly – and more seriously – how the hell did the Librarian stay out of FicPsych? Destruction of his life's work or not, he just attacked a fellow agent over an ultimately frivolous matter. And from the PPC's perspective, the depression he sunk into afterwards is almost more dangerous. He needs serious counseling, not just from his friends but from a trained therapist. Frankly, the fact that he doesn't get that feels like a serious oversight, and, despite the PPC's many other flaws as a workplace, not one that it's likely to make at all.

I also had some issues with the end of “No More Mr Nice Guy.” I mean, I get that what the Librarian said to the Aviator was unkind, and I'm not trying to downplay the effects of PTSD or anything, but it doesn't seem to match up with her behavior earlier in the mission. I got the sense that she was significantly more upset about the fact that he'd nearly left her and Des to die than she was by his earlier remarks. And she seems to have gotten over both of those instances by the end of the mission. Perhaps if she'd thrown some sort of dig in at him for it later or something, that would have fit better, but as-is, it feels a bit as though the Aviator is bringing up the wrong issue. I'm not saying she should be over it or anything, but rather, that it doesn't seem to really come through how much she's holding it in until the end, and that, in combination with the fact that she was also upset over something that was probably more relevant to Des as well, just makes things feel kind of uneven, as if the two parts of the story don't match up terribly well.

Also making me kind of uncomfortable is the implication that Des responded by beating up the Librarian. Don't get me wrong, what the Librarian did was cruel and uncalled-for, but that doesn't exactly justify Des's behavior, either. Frankly, it comes off as though Des is bordering on abusive. This is especially in contrast to the way he responds to the Aviator nearly being killed by the Librarian. If he assaults her over an innocent remark, then his feelings are prioritized over her safety, but him being rude is deserving of a beating? Again, it feels unbalanced. It comes off a little bit as though the one who's the most upset is the one who deserves the sympathy in any situation, and while that's an understandable perspective to have, it's not really a healthy one. I'm not saying characters should always have to behave in the most rational way, either – but the fact remains that the whole situation feels extremely dysfunctional, and nobody seems to notice. Dysfunctional viewpoints aren't at all unusual in the PPC, but this is a rather more serious example than most, and the very fact that nobody takes issue with it all gives the readers the rather uncomfortable impression that they aren't supposed to see this as dysfunctional at all.

I'm sorry for how long this was, as well as how negative it comes off. You're all excellent writers and I did enjoy reading your missions. I just wanted to make sure that I expressed my concerns as clearly as possible, especially given that some of them stretch into serious real world territory.

Awesome! Can't wait to read 'em! will clear out my schedule and start-a-readin'.

So what's next, dudes? Sonichu? I mean, you've already tackled a lot of the "Big" ones, Ixy. How I Became Yours, Rose Potter...I think you're ready for it.

'Prime Mover':

Unfortunate timing on the release here; it falls foul of a couple of points from The Force Awakens (no spoilers here). You claim hyperjumping into a mass shadow will blow up both you and the planet, which is no longer true; you also say you can't use the Force to put someone to sleep, which we also see. Your mission obviously took place before the movie, so it's fine not to know about those - but it also took place after the decanonisation of the EU, so making claims based on it is a dubious proposition.

As for an actual review: I enjoyed the character interactions, particularly between Des and the Reader. What caught me off-guard was the fact that the entire mission seemed to be dialogue. I'm sure you did describe some of the action in narrative, but it didn't stick in my head. I was watching people reporting what was going on right in front of them, when it would've felt more natural for the narrative to do the telling and the agents just comment when things got weird.

'Truth and Consequences':

This story splits cleanly into two halves ('Truth' and 'Consequences', I suppose). I like the first - I like particularly the Reader's expression of her feelings. The whole “I’m sick of hating you" idea really rings true.

The second half I'm less sure on. I like the way the Aviator reacts to the Reader's revelations, but it feels like I've spent a lot of time being told about how the Reader can't go back to her Gallifrey. It's like having characters repeatedly introduce themselves to each other - yes, they don't know, but the audience does.

'Excuses and Accusations':

Ooookay. So the Librarian's having a complete meltdown and pulling a 'I will shut down so I never get hurt again!' over someone else finding the solution to his hobby? Either this is seriously overwritten, or I'm seriously misreading, or... he's just not a nice character. The fact that the Reader and the Aviator seem to see his reaction as understandable suggests one of the first two. His behaviour - his attempt to murder the Aviator while yelling sexist insults at her - is not something that should've been brushed off and validated by his purported 'friends'.

So no, I'm afraid this one fell massively flat for me.

'No More Mister Nice Guy':

Skipping this one, too irritated by the Librarian right now.

'You'll Thank Me Later':

Ditto.

'TYH: Tales of Regeneration':

I love the premise here: it's one we'd never see on the show, but it is absolutely valid.

And then Naya shows up, and you've just sent me down a rabbit-hole trying to figure out what's going on. So Naya was married to a woman but suddenly has a husband instead - and doesn't react to this at all? Surely that would be worth some confusion and uncertainty. Or is this an established part of the character?

I prefer this version of the Librarian - she doesn't immediately put me on edge, so that's nice. Though with that 'like the Notary used to' line, and the Aviator, I'm thinking Morgan is having fits in the Council: "How come you all keep regenerating? Stick with one body for five minutes, for Omega's sake!" And then someone points out that she regenerated twice in two years...

Anyway, this was what any Ten Years Hence story should be: cute and fluffy, with a side order of 'hey, things have changed in unexpected ways'. Also, small children.

hS

I'm sure these are all part of your collective grand plans. I got a little confused at that one interlude, though, cause Rashida's wiki page lists a pending cowrite with Desdendelle also called "Excuses and Accusations".

I'm not even going to try to bring forth my usual list of minor errors and confusing statements. Y'all released too many documents at once for that to be feasible. I am going to read all of them, however. :D

Let's begin:

-Hurray for more missions with the Reader, and more backstory for Librarian. Will Tablet need a page someday?

-Just... this, there's nothing else to say. Really sorry for their Gallifrey.

-I'm torn between laughing at the sheer ridiculiousness of the situation, and intense pity for Librarian. Did expect him to be burned out because of this riddle, but not like this. Lot of self-loathing too (minor typo, Noakh becomes Moakh when you elaborate his name).

-He could have been a merciless jerk, but judging how well they were going along before, that's still a tremendous progress. Like how both of them go for snacks just before the badfic quote of first date (their first date is the destruction of this PPC badfic though.). And don't say I'm imaginating things, even Tablet sees it (and really needs its own page). Is it really stretching up things that thinking there could be ...someone behind this sentience?

-Sheldon Cooper. Librarian is a Time Lord version of Sheldon Cooper. And now the pairing with Aviator is just mpossible to ignore. Great to see him finally undegoing positive character development.

-First time I see regeneration played for comedy, somewhat, and I fond it really interesting. So this little girl in Voyd's TYH was Ave and Librarian's... Kind of happy of seeing that they seem well, and Reader too, despite the regeneration. Second Librarian sounds interesting, and looks great. I hope to see more of her, but not before a long time, since reformed first Librarian is interesting too. Also hope this TYH will become canon.

All in all, it's a great early Christmas gift, guys. You're always so great at writing.