Nov 2015 Archive, part c

Glad you're back!

Good to see ya, mate! :D

It's so good that you're here and home again.

You'll find everything you need—or really, what I need—right here. Because I am foresighted like that. {= )

~Neshomeh

Alex and Ave, and everything that's going on outside the badfic; certainly not Voldy and his non-canonical granddaughter.

But, is Zeb stuttering?
...and anyway, after we took care of the rest, we went to back to her response center...

And I'm not sure whether you actually meant "stared" in
He started in horror at the pile of wood...

HG

-First, Librarian/Aviator shipping is no more a trolllship? These cowrites with Des will surely be interesting... (and a sonic which does wood? It value just skyrocketed.)

-French swearing is not so class, but eh, that's a native speaker viewpoint. Besides, it's not like English, where fantasy authors can just create new swearing for their world, forever lost in translation.

-Fifty Shades? If the Legendaries didn't kill his innocence that did it. (Will Dawn and you write this? That would be beyond bravery/masochism).

-So, she can visit her TARDIS? Happy for her.

-Alex, Aviator and Spot? critical hit to the feels, with One More attack.

All in all, your usual standard, awesome. Never stop writing.

P.S.: You forgot one word in "And don’t get me started on one I tackled with Dawn,".

Wow I can not understand that at all.
And she has the last name of Riddle despite supposedly being Snape's daughter.
There is so much wrong with that Oc and I'be only started reading the mission. Glad it's dead.

So that was a pretty little atrocity of a fic...thank you for taking it down. Thank you very much.

(Also, a massive AWWWWW! for the ending. The return of Spot!)

It's genuine, I promise!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SCAPEGRAAAAAAAACE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOO YOOOOOOU!!

(That's about how I sing the Happy Birthday Song.)

Anyway, happy birthday! :D Since I wasn't around when you were a newbie to give you stuff, have an urple ocarina! (And a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies to apologize for the color.)

-Alleb

Hope you're having better luck accessing your Google Docs than I am.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

*blows noisemakers*

And many happy returns too! :D

And that's where I'm gonna be in three months...

Regardless, happy birthday!

Mazaltov! Many happy returns, etc.

If you don't like it , you can always try feeling 24.

P.S.: How exactly is feeling 22? I would like a bit of advice before trying it.

Fallout: Age of Monsters (Fallout/The Mutant Epoch/Shadowrun/Terra Nova/Half-Life franchise/Alien franchise/Plague, Inc.: Evolved/Godzilla franchise/Ark: Survival Evolved/Primeval/Jurassic Park franchise/King Kong)

With all of our advances, all of our weapons of war, we thought ourselves above the natural world, the masters of our planet.

We were wrong. So very, very wrong. We should have known that Mother Nature would take offense at our meddling, but her revenge came in ways that we could never have expected.

Some Vault-Tec officials in Central America found DNA from all manner of extinct creatures, combining them with the genetic material of modern-day animals to fill the gaps left in the genes. There was even talk of a few being specially bred for military use.
It didn't go well.
Details on what happened are scarce, but the resulting creatures looked very different from what were supposed to have been exact replicas of the original creatures. Stronger... smarter... with more teeth. They escaped their containment, wreaking havoc. Now, it is no longer mammals who rule the continent of South America. Instead, monstrous hybrids stalk the land, ruling over a twisted parody of the ancient world.

On an island off the coast of Asia, Vault-Tec found another source of extinct life: an entire ecosystem of animals that had seemingly been plucked from the reaches of time and space and placed here to evolve. Specimens were quickly taken off the island for study, but one creature became particularly notorious: an ape of unprecedented size and strength, worshipped as a god by native cultures. With such primal power at their fingertips, Vault-Tec immediately began to clone the creature for some kind of military program, as well as an extinct creature that was said to be some sort of demon that the ape's kind had killed off centuries ago. But Vault-Tec had no time for legends when there was science to be done.
They should have listened.
Whatever the Vault-Tec scientists had done to the creatures of that island, they were unable to get the creatures to submit to human control. In the bloodbath that ensued, the creatures of that lost world escaped. As if we needed more goddamn dinosaurs.
But the island had one last secret waiting to be taken. Hidden at the center of the island was a site housing technology beyond anything humanity has ever devised. Vault-Tec was naturally all over it, but the biggest breakthrough came from what must have been holding facilities inside the ship, most of which contained lifeforms like nothing on Earth held in what appeared to be a form of stasis. Unable to resist the allure of examining alien life, the scientists opened the cells, eager to unlock whatever secrets the aliens had within them.
The second those damned monsters were released, it was game over.

Seemingly to rub in even further the fact that we were screwed, another one of Vault-Tec's experiments was looking into the possibilities of alternate dimensions and time travel. What they found was not too happy at being disturbed. Monsters from the past, the future, and from some hellish dimension poured out of the lab, fleeing into the countryside.

Diseases suddenly began to mutate into new, horrifying diseases: a mind-controlling worm, an honest-to-goodness zombie virus, and some kind of mutator that killed humans but had incredible effects on apes, making them smarter, more human-like... more hostile.

The atomic bombs just made it worse. Animals began to evolve to defend themselves against these new threats-cattle as large as elephants with bulletproof hides, giant sea serpent lizards, even carnivorous rabbits, of all things.

But these horrors were far from the worst things to come.
After the bombs were dropped, creatures of sizes previously thought to be unimaginable began to arise, either from their eons-long slumber or mutated by nuclear fallout. Mantises the size of planes, supersonic pterosaurs, birds as big as battleships... but one stood above the rest, figuratively and literally. An ancient alpha predator, at the very top of its primordial ecosystem.
We call him Godzilla, King of the Monsters.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Well, here's my clusterhump of Biblical proportions. I've already got a way to avoid having to characterize anything as well: don't have characters. This beauty would have a kind of bestiary format, going over the various monstrosities that have developed in this hellscape. With all of these franchises to go over, it would be an enormous undertaking.
I imagine that the nuclear fallout would also affect these introduced creatures as well, maybe create some Chaos Effect-style hybrids. With this story, the world after it ended is a whole lot more dangerous.

Nanoha's family moved to the UK before she was born for whatever reasons (probably to flee from Shiro's enemies) so that her name ends up registered in Hogwarts at birth. Hayate probably would also have to be relocated, though not necessary in the same timeframe And you would also have to move everything in Nanoha canon in time by several years. (Hey, it's supposed to be a crack crossover, right?)

So Nanoha then ends up going to Hogwarts, where she may or may not have serious problems because her magic is probably not compatible with HP spells. Then she while she is in her first year, the Jewel Seed incident happens right there and that is also where Yuuno and Fate arrive.

"Professor!"

Both Abronsious and the Doctor were awake in a flash at the young man's yell. "What is it, Alfred?" Professor Abronsious asked before the Time Lord could.

"I saw it! HIM! He was in there!"

The Doctor barged into the bathroom, turning his eyes away from Sarah, who was hurriedly wrapping herself in her bathrobe as her parents came in, babbling anxious, angry questions. He first noticed the overpowering stench and coughed violently. He knew that smell - the fumes of decay and death.

Abronsious was examining Sarah's neck with a magnifying glass, but her angry father was soon in the way and they decided it was better to leave her alone. "Alfred!" the young man's teacher was telling him, "did you see? No bite marks! He came in, but he didn't bite her - yet!"

Alfred crossed himself and took out a crucifix, pointing it in the four directions of the compass to ward off the evil of the vampire count. The Doctor secretly took a scan with the sonic screwdriver when no one was looking, but the trail was very faint. He looked out into the night. "Let's hope we catch that vampire soon, Professor…"

--
Basically, the Doctor landed in 18th-century Germany and is helping Abronsious and Alfred to keep Sarah safe as best he can without terrifying the already scared and vampire-phobic villagers than they are already. He's a Time Lord, after all, and tools such as he has would not be welcome - especially considering that what Abronsious and Alfred did in the village wasn't taken well, and they were humans trying to stop the real alpha vampire of a real gigantic vampire flock. So…yeah. It would be difficult to do anything useful, really.

Into The Woods (Warehouse 13/Gravity Falls)

Pete peered out the windshield at what seemed to be a solid wall of trees. "That is the most green I have ever seen in my life," he murmured. "That's almost too much green. A green-pocalypse, if you will."

Myra did her best to ignore him as she drove. Pete had reached the "random nonsense" part of every long drive, where he just starting talking about whatever was on his mind as a distraction. Indulging him typically only gave her a headache. Not that it stopped him from trying.

"I mean, look at these things. If there was some kind of anti-Bob Ross, these are the kind of trees he'd paint." Pete paused. "Hey, do you think there are any Bob Ross artifacts in the—"

The Farnsworth mercifully buzzed. It took all of Myka's restraint not to vocally praise some higher power.

Pete flipped open the device, revealing Artie's face on the small black-and-white screen. "Hey Artie," he said. "Do we have any Bob Ross artifacts?"

"What? What are you…" Artie waved his hands around, like he was trying to clear cobwebs out of his face. "That's not important! Have you arrived at Gravity Falls yet?"

"Last sign I saw said we were about ten miles away," Myka interjected. "We should be arriving in a few minutes."

"Any idea what we're supposed to be looking for?" Pete asked.

Artie shook his head. "No, but I know a good place to start." He held up a handful of newspaper clippings. "Most of the strange sightings and occurrences involve the same family. Stan Pines and his great-niece and nephew. They run a little tourist trap on the outskirts of town called the Mystery Shack. And when I say 'tourist trap,' I'm only a few steps away from being literal. Place should be condemned if these photos are any indication."

Myka snorted. "The Mystery Shack? Is it as hokey as it seems?"

"Probably," Artie replied. "But there could also be an artifact hidden among those tchotchkes. Keep on your toes."

"You got it, boss," Pete said. The screen fizzled and went dark.

Myka shook her head. "The Mystery Shack," she repeated. "I can't help but feel a bit silly, going somewhere with that name."

"I don't know," Pete said. "It could actually be fun. I remember going to a few places like that when I was on road trips as a kid. They were cheesy, sure, but in a good way." He looked out the passenger window at the trees again. "Who's to say that… that…"

He trailed off.

"Pete?"

"Was that a garden gnome in that tree?"

~~~~~

Like I said in the subject line, this is debatably crack. But the idea got in my head and I just couldn't shake it.

Long ago, I had a plotbunny for a Harry Potter x Jekyll & Hyde crossover. Basically, the premise is that Jekyll's formula went wrong because some magical ingredients were dumped in a Muggle chemist's shop by a wizard on the run from Magical Law Enforcement for possession of said ingredients. At the end of his story, Jekyll doesn't die; instead, he finds his way into the Wizarding World and becomes a Hogwarts professor—DADA or Potions, I dunno.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what the rest of the story is. Unless I were to make it a modern spin on the Jekyll & Hyde story, it would have to be set in the late 1800s, which means I'd have to make up pretty much the entire cast. Dumbledore might be around somewhere, but I think he was probably busy with Grindelwald at the time. Point being, aside from Jekyll, the whole cast would be OCs, and that's a lot of work—not to mention the research involved in putting together a picture of what Hogwarts and the Wizarding World were like back then. Hence why I never wrote it.

If anyone wants to adopt the plotbunny and give it a good home, though, feel free. {= )

~Neshomeh

Does that count? I think it should count. *grins*

------------------------------------------------------------------

The flavors are changed: I feel it in the milk, I feel it in the caramel, I smell it in the coffee beans... Much that once was is lost, for none now have the browser history to remember it.

It began with the blending of the Great Flavors: Caramel, Vanilla, and Mocha. These Three were given to the hipsters, out of the mainstream of time, coolest... fairest fashion sense of all beings.

Seven, to the Wrimos (but they were all too focused on their books to notice what they got), great writers and authors of the coffee shops.

And Nine...nine shots of espresso were gifted to the college students who, above all else, desire caffeine.

For within these flavors was bound the strength and the will to govern each coffee lover.

But they were, all of them, deceived; for another Flavor was made.

In the land of Starbucks, in the fields of coffee beans,
the Dark Barista Sauron blended, in secret, a master flavor.

And into this flavor he poured his cruelty, his malice
and his will to dominate all flavors of coffee.

One flavor to rule them all.

One flavor to find them.

One flavor to bring them all,

And in the darkness bind them.

Pumpkin Spice...

---------------------------------------------------------------

If that's not crack, I don't know what is.

-Alleb

Molly had mentioned that her penpal was from Japan, so I was pretty surprised when a clearly Caucasian girl answered the door to their hotel room. She looked like nothing so much as Murphy's kid sister - cute, petite, blonde, and probably capable of kicking my ass five ways to Sunday. "You are Molly Carpenter and Harry Dresden, correct?" she said in a calm, serious voice that gave me vaguely Vulcan vibes. Her accent was some variant of British; I'm not exactly up on my BBC, so anything more precise than that is beyond me.

Molly looked a little awkward, but not too surprised. "That's us. You're Saber, right? Rin's told me a lot about you."

Saber nodded, and gave Molly a reassuring smile. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She shook hands with me, crossing the rather hastily-erected ward on the room in the process, and I got a feel of her...aura, I suppose. The amount of power coming off her was incredible. It wasn't so much that she had a massive amount of magical energy; it felt more like she was completely composed of it. From the Padawan's wide-eyed expression, she'd gotten the same thing. "Rin and Shirou are still preparing themselves," the girl continued, "although I believe it would be more accurate to say they are both preparing Shirou. Please, come inside."

We followed her into the main room of their suite. Molly and I took seats on the couch, and Saber excused herself to go get the others. "Who's Shirou?" I whispered to Molly, once we were alone.

"Rin's boyfriend," she said, barely paying attention to the question.

"And Saber, or whatever she's called?"

Molly looked troubled. "...Based on the sense I got from her letters, Rin's girlfriend. But she didn't mention anything about... that."

"Yeah, I'd imagine that's not the kind of thing you casually mention... wait, what?" Okay, so it was probably a lot less relevant to the situation than everything else going on, but there are certain things a man isn't allowed to overlook.

Molly shrugged. "It sounded complicated. I didn't poke too hard."

"Molly?" called an unfamiliar female voice. The speaker this time looked slightly more like what I'd pictured in my head, an Asian girl around the same age as Molly. Though I hadn't expected the short skirt and thigh-high socks to exist outside of it.

Molly broke into a grin. "Rin!" She stood up and hugged the other girl, who returned it with rather less enthusiasm.

"Ah, and you're Mr. Dresden, right?" she said to me in accented but clear English.

"Yeah. Nice to meet a friend of Molly's."

She smiled politely and shook my hand. "I could say the same thing about you."

"Oi, Tohsaka. Is this them?" A boy of about the same age as Rin came out of their room, wearing a dress shirt and a slightly grumpy expression. He might have looked pretty average, but I got the sense that he was a lot tougher than you'd think at first glance. I wouldn't be surprised if he could hold out for a few minutes against the Summer or Winter Knight.

The blonde girl they'd called Saber... I'd be surprised if one of the Knights could hold out for a few minutes against her.

Which raised the question of how exactly Molly's penpal got involved with someone that high on the scale of powerful magical beings. And what kind of problem they had that would require us to help out with.

***

Okay, so the various setting mechanics (not to mention timelines) probably mean that such a crossover wouldn't work very well, but I just want to see the characters interact. I'm not sure what the actual plot would be; probably something involving the Knights of the Cross, since it's a good excuse to bring in Shirou's sword fetish specific talents. Mandatory is a bit where the female characters all commiserate on exactly what sort of idiocy they have to put up with on a daily basis from Shirou and Harry.

REALLY? (The Secret World of Alex Mack X Worm)

I stared at her. She stared back.

As powers went, she had it pretty much made. It was a really unconventional Trump mix (insofar as you got conventional Trump mixes); lightning bolts, a transformation into goop, and telekinesis that didn't have a Manton limit that we'd been able to find. I really didn't know why she hadn't gone into the cape game with powers like that. Hell, any Wards team worth their salt would be climbing over each other to get her on the team. But nope, here she was, staring me down in a van in San Francisco, the last place I could run.

Crushed as I was between Bitch's slowly deflating dogs, and as much as I was really not okay with small metal spaces like the van we'd hired, today had been a good day. Tattletale was sat next to me, Regent had somehow managed to lounge in the back of a speeding van, we'd beaten up a local gang of street thugs and we had a lot of their loot as working capital for the next few days. Everything had gone off completely without a hitch. And then there was the new girl, in a makeshift costume and a frankly godawful hat (Regent kept calling it the condom cap), but she'd proved really useful in a fight. It turned out that people were much easier for Regent to control if she gave them a quick jolt first, which was very useful for us, and that her goop state was semi-invulnerable.

"So," she said, "how'd you get your powers?"

I winced. I could remember having this exact same lack-of-conversation with the other Undersiders back in the day. Tattletale opened her mouth and then, in the shock of the year, closed it again. Then she spoke.

"How'd you get yours, newbie?"

"Huh. Funny story, actually. I was just going to school and I got soaked in this stuff called GC-161 when a truck hit me. The local factory was--"

"REALLY?" Tattletale all but screamed. Grue slammed on the brakes and we all rattled around inside the van for a bit. "[Censored for the Board]ing REALLY? A [see previous censorship]ing diet pill?"

I couldn't help it. I echoed Tattletale's thoughts.

Parallel universes had all the luck.

...Wait a second.
___

On an actually crackpot one I've got in process somewhere, I've DC Comics (specifically Batman's corner of the universe) crossing over with Codex Alera.

Alas, that I don't have access to things currently, so you'll have take my word for it.

Yep PL vs PW was a crossover I loved to see become a reality. Even if I don't have it myself.

As for other crossovers I'd love to see but can't write about very well on an iPad they are really just silly ones.
I want to see a good Assissans Creed crossover with Hamilton the Broadway show. Or even Assissans Creed meets Liberty Kids just to see how'd it would turn out. Assissans Creed with any history based series would be nice. Anything Layton Brothers Mystery room related would be cool too.

If you are serious about the Lord of the rings crossover with southern politics I have a book about some Rebels' journey to Mexico where they attempted to create a second US south that could be interesting to see.

It's so... beautiful, I cried! :D

Also, completely off-top... whenever I see something related to the 'Jurassic' series, I need to post THIS! (NSFW)

Obviously, given the events of the Jurassic World film, the park will be shut down... right? I mean, all those guests saw the nasty vicious meat-eating dinosaurs escape and kill everyone, right?

Well, actually... no. Thinking back on it, the only escape the visitors saw was the aviary. They never knew about the I. rex, or the raptors loose in the field. They were all gone long before the final battle, so they have no idea about that, either. With the exception of the main cast (who can be silenced pretty easily if necessary) and the staff of the park/InGen personnel (ditto), all anyone knows - or needs to know - is this:

-The owner of the park, Simon Masrani, took up a park helicopter without his trainer, even though he wasn't a qualified pilot.

-On that flight, he managed to lose control and crash into the aviary, breaking some of the panels.

-This allowed the Pteranodon and Dimorphodon to escape and flock to the visitors' area.

Yes, there were casualties. If Masrani had survived, he would definitely be facing criminal prosecution (say the park's new administrators). It isn't the pterosaurs' fault, of course - they're just wild animals - but they have been a concern since the original park, and this incident proves that they simply aren't fit to be used as an attraction. Jurassic World will therefore be relocating the entire flock to a secondary site, to live out their lives in humane conditions. The aviary site will be used for a thrilling new attraction: a rollercoaster-slash-monorail through the domain of the feathered, flying dinosaurs, Microraptor and Archaeopteryx! (These dinosaurs are far too small to attack humans, and anyway, the aviary will be reinforced and designated an absolute no-fly zone.)

Any rumours you may have heard of Godzilla-like murderous hybrids are exactly what they sound like - sensationalist sci-fi nonsense made up by the gutter press to sell papers. As for that purported 'footage' - really? My kid can make CG better than that on his iPhone, and he's 11 (says the PR rep, trying for a laugh from the reporters).

We will be using the down-time to undertake a full review of all our security precautions, despite the fact that - I must stress again - not a single one of them failed during the recent incident. And let me tell you about some of the great new ideas our techies have come up with! Do you wanna see T. rex hunting its goats on the open plain? Yeah, I just bet you do...

This concludes the statement from the Jurassic World marketing board. The park administration has refused to answer further questions about the presence of armed forces on Isla Nublar, or the unexplained death toll among park employees during the cleanup following the incident...

(Sadly, I doubt they'll be re-opening the park for the next film - it's a story we've just told, so there would be very little point. But I can't see a fundamental reason they couldn't... can you?)

hS

I am very behind, only on 2,203 words, but I realized that the point is not primarily to hit 50,000 words (though that's a good goal) but simply to write. So that's what I'm going to do, and just stop beating myself up and have fun.

Before anyone goes and declares that they're taking on "My Immortal," I would invite them to stop and think about something: why do you want to spork this story? Can you make something entertaining out of it, or are you doing it for other reasons?

Stories should not be sporked because they need "dealing with." Nor should stories be sporked simply because of how infamous they are. The PPC (as in we the writers, not the fictional organization) should neither be a sort of fanfiction police nor a cadre of badfic big game hunters. I feel like both of those paths have been in vogue recently, and honestly? It's resulted in what I feel are a large number of mediocre missions. There have been standouts, to be sure, but they feel far and few between.

I'm not saying don't claim it. If you think you can make a good mission out of it, by all means do. I'm saying think about your reasons for sporking.

As far as I know, My Immortal is off-limits because someone's claimed it. That's what the wiki page says... but I can't find anything by some quick searching. Eh.

Anyway! On to interesting stuff, and Question the Third:

a) Dreams, dreams, dreams... a claimed dream-warning will be treated with both more reverence and more suspicion. Dreams are the favoured prophetic method of the Valar; Ulmo sent dream-messages to Finrod and Turgon (leading to the founding of Nargothrond and Gondolin), for instance. But... the Valar don't get involved much these days, and Amy has never been anywhere near the Two Trees (which might help make her easier to communicate with for Lorien or whoever). That said, note that Frodo dreamt of Gandalf in Bombadil's house - the dream was late, according to Gandalf, but it's still a dream-vision (and Gandalf never doubted it).

b) Glorfindel is actually a perfect choice - not only is he a de facto Seer in his own right, he's also spent time around at least four others: Malbeth (this is an assumption, but I think a solid one), plus Turgon, Idril, and Tuor, all of whom had visions or other messages involving Gondolin. If there's a pattern in how those messages were presented (and it's very hard to say, since the only two we have details for are Turgon and Tuor), he'd look for that pattern to be repeated. If not... 'feel', probably.

c) Uh... not that I know of? ^_^ I'm pretty sure alchemy isn't mentioned by Tolkien; looking at the stars might be, I honestly don't know. I do know that early descriptions of Numenor imply it reached an Industrial Revolution stage of technology: Our ships go now without the wind, and many are made of metal that sheareth rocks, and they sink not in calm or storm; but they are no longer fair to look upon. But our shields are impenetrable, our swords cannot be withstood, our darts are like thunder and pass over leagues unerring. But I don't know anything about prophecy.

Actually, that's a lie: the Druedain (aka the Wild Men met by the Rohirrim on the way to Minas Tirith) lived on Numenor, and left centuries before the Downfall, since (they claimed) the island felt unstable. So there's that.

hS, rambling.

Could have sworn someone had already done MI. Anyway, obviously there's no need to do anything about it, since it's clearly not badfic. It's way too funny to be badfic!

(But seriously, there's a reason we can't do it? News to me.)

u van t keel myimtortal becoose eet es teh etiome of good literturee and oot doos ull otters.

While not a bow hunter, I do shoot both recurve and longbow (mostly a recurve, though), so I can at least tell you about how that works. :)

"I don't know man, but you got a destiny of totally dangerous stuff. #riskylifetho. And watch out, there's a little f***tard named Gollum."

- Gandalf

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" - Optimus Prime, Age of Extinction

From Blood Raining Night I could quote anytime a canon spoke in the fanfic or fanime really but some choice quotes are:
"NO NUTS CAN GO NEAR MY MOUTH ESPECIALLY PENUTS!" - Alucard
and
"silly silly bitch. It's a weeding it's not illegal. Nothing can help you." - Goku

I know quotes from other fanfics,but that is the first thing I think of when it comes to OOC quotes.

From Betrayal, a horrible Harmony badfic that bashes Ron to the Veil, where Harry and Hermione only loved Ron and Ginny, respectively, because Ron gave them a horrible, horrible brand of love potion, come this indirect quote delivered by Shacklebolt after he conducted an interrogation about the crime:

" Ron said he got Ginny involved so he could if anyone ever found out about it... He said that she was always a brat when she was little and always got her way because she was the youngest and the only girl in the family so he figured everyone would believe it was her idea because she was never one to take no for an answer. He also said that while he never intended to get caught, if happened, he would take peversed pleasure in seeing her get her heart broken when Harry tells her he hates her before before she's locked up for the rest of her life. As far he was concerned, she was nothing but a 'boy who lived' groupie who followed Harry around and was willing to do whatever he asked of her. She wasn't even good enough to get him to notice her because she had no idea how little Harry thought of her. She was pathetic and he hated her for it. "

Then when he is confronted about it:

" I should have let the troll kill you both in our first year ", he said coldly " You've been way more trouble than you're worth "

..." Because of you I was in danger and nearly died several times. Oh you saved me but I wonder if was out of friendship or for another heroic chapter in the story of the 'boy who lived'. I suspect it was the latter because despite denying you wanted fame and attention, you always managed to get more than your share and never gave your best friend any of it! And as of you," He said turning to Hermione. " You were nothing but a pushy know-it-all. You were truly insufferable. Always nagging us about the rules or doing our homework. I had a mother Hermione and the best part of going to Hogwarts was getting from her nagging but you made up for absence and then some. You know I never really wanted to be your friend, don't you? None of us did but you nagged us into it like you did with our homework. Helping us with it was about about all you were good for, you know? You certain weren't pretty enough for for anyone to want anything else from you " ...

... " It wasn't because I loved you, " He replied in same cold tone he'd been using " It was so our beloved hero over here- " He said pointing to Harry " Could see what it was like to be me. All these years, he's had everything handed to him; fame, money and popularity while I had nothing. For once I wanted to have something and let him feel what it's like to go without!"

And of course, then we have Filicidal!Serena from my first and only mission. While she was never really IC from the very paragraph, I really became excruciatingly painful once I got these lines: (Warning: This section is absolutely NSFW and NSFB)

"Me? Oh, I'm just getting revenge." There was an unnatural gleam in Serena's eyes. "Revenge on all those times you bothered me. Revenge for all the times you got between me and Darien. Revenge for all those times you tried to steal my beloved away!" With that last remark she slapped Rini, leaving a red hand mark across the young girls right cheek."

... " Serena took hold of one of Rini's flailing hands and laid it flat against the table, the palm facing upwards. She placed the teeth of the saw against the base of the pinky. She smirked before growling "This is for daring to touch my Darien-chan." ...

... " "Only one more thing." Serena murmured. "Now there is only the task of taking out the heart that dared to think it could love my soul mate, my one true love, my Darien! "

Now excuse while I got drowned myself in a huge bowl of Hot Bleepolate.

We have this "gem":

"This woman will be the first, but first she will suffer for your mistake of not heeding our word of surrender," said Fate as the stun set Bardiche was activated in it's 'Riot Zanber' mode, and then stabbed down, Schach screaming in pain.

... I'll go drown myself in Bleeptea now.

"You know, it's kinda interesting, I was abused by the Dursleys too, because my parents died. But I mean, your story sounds more tragic. I mean, it wasn't your parents fault they couldn't raise me. Mine openly defied Voldemort. I mean, I love them even if they're dead, but maybe if they just cowered down to him, they wouldn't have died and I could be normal and we could all be a happy family, a normal family. That would be cool."

"Now, Hermione, tell me what Dumbledore's been doing or I'll rip out Ronald's heart and let you watch its last few beats before feeding it to you!"

Guess who said it.

Go on. Guess.

If you guessed Harry Potter himself, you'd be right!

Since someone (Alleb) has pushed My Immortal to the front of my mind:

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF*KERS!"

It was....Dumbledore!


Yeah, that's OOC.

((He only swor cuz he had a hedache ok?))

Shut up, Tara.

While poking through my stuff in search of the Star Wars coins (which I didn't find), I ran across these: Jurassic Park: The Lost World coins. I have the Stegosaurus, Pteranodon, and two Tyrannosaurus (all loose; their display packets are long gone). These were given away (?) with Tetley tea back in 1997.

I also have something that sort of qualifies: a set featuring a farthing, ha'penny, penny, and thuppenny bit. Fair enough, you say - but these were minted in around 1990 for Llechwedd, which at the time (and maybe still) had a historic Victorian village street where you could exchange your modern money for Victorian coins and buy things with them. I've no idea what my set came to (it was just 'bought' at the exchange ~2000, and got me very strange looks from the cashier), but it was a fair amount. Worth it, though.

I also have a replica Roman coin of some description from Dover, but that one's less interesting.

Oh, and yes: I went for the Shire Post Middle-earth coins Kickstarter. You should too, and you should tell all your friends! Because if it hits 80K in the next four days, I get a Red Hand of Saruman out of it. >:D

hS

One replica Galleon, Sickle, and Knut from the Harry Potter movies. And they are heavy. They're also very shiny; if you so much as touch one, your fingerprints get all over it.

As for want... hmm. whatever they use on Gallifrey please Moffat give us more info I don't really know. :P

I have one Temerian oren, from the collector's edition of The Witcher.

So... how easy is it to convert between these currencies?

The most difficult one will probably be LotR: the only value information we know is that Bill the pony was bought for 12 silver pennies, which was at least three times his value. Uh, good luck converting that! But actually, I bet there's a modern fantasy series (Kingkiller Chronicles or Song of Ice and Fire seem like possibilities) which gives the price of a horse. If someone can find that... Scapegrace, as our resident pseudomedievalist, any ideas on the comparative prices of horses and scratty ponies?

On the flip side, the Ankh-Morpork dollar is easy: we know from the price of stamps that it's roughly on a par with English currency in the Victorian era (backed up by the fact that new Watchmen make ~ AM$1 per day, which equates to about eight shillings... sounds pretty reasonable.) And I bet there's a price for a pint somewhere in the Discworld canon (and if not, we can figure out what it was in Victorian England!)... alcohol sounds like a good benchmark for buying power. Does Harry Potter mention the cost of a butterbeer? Can we calculate from there?

And what else is there? It might be hard to make the leap into sci-fi - how many comparable prices are there going to be between Middle-earth and Coruscant - but again, alcohol might be the key...

If you're imagining I want to end up with a table of comparisons that lets us describe the exact handful of assorted coins needed to buy something in the PPC General Store... you'd be right. ;) It's frivolous fun.

So who's up for it?

hS

Took me a while due to other priorities, but... You get an outfit, you get an outfit, EVERYONE GETS AN OUTFIT!

I used the same DollDivine dress-up game that Iximaz did for the ladies' gear. It's a shame there aren't more options for the princes, but I'll have to make do.


Falchion normally dresses in dark colors like I do, but I suppose if only for one day, he deserves to wear something shiny.


Kozar, looking pretty edgy there.


It's a shame that there aren't any rainbow hair or cape pattern options, because I like Rayner's outfit otherwise.


Ripper wanted bloodstained clothing, but that wouldn't be appropriate, so he had to settle for the next best thing: blood-red clothing.


Zeb, whose colors are the closest I could get to those of his base species.


There aren't any fancy longcoats either, alas, so Des gets a cape instead.


And last but certainly not least, Valon!

If you need ideas on what happens during the ceremony, here, here, and here are some good jumping-off points for planning the ceremony and reception.

For anyone interested in making their own, here is the link to the game I used; if you aren't interested in making your character(s)' dress(es) for whatever reason, leave me a note with an idea of what you'd like to see and I'll do my best.

If I missed anyone who's been mentioned to be attending (or at least the happy couple would like to see), I apologize and would be more than happy to make up for it.

Anyway, on with the show!

INCOMING PIC SPAM AHOY!


The Aviator, who is not amused and is probably hiding a gun under that skirt.


Um, E.V.L., are you sure that's wedding-appropriate?


You'll just have to imagine Stephanie's writhing mass of tentacles, sorry. :P


For once, the Reader's color choices aren't a complete eyesore!


Lapis in—what else?—blue.


Dawn, looking very graceful today.


A shame the dollmaker doesn't do horns, because Gabby's dress is cute.


I would have had Rashida wearing white, but she's not the bride. :P

Speaking of brides...


Kala, who is last but very certainly not the least.

October 11th, 2015

"For the last time, Mom, she's NOT an alien."

"But... She's... She's a..."

"A beautiful, wonderful woman who has saved my life, kept me sane and been a very good friend."

Valon was doing his level best to calm down his mother. Unfortunately, Joan Vance was rather shocked discover that her son's new fiancée was a seven-foot scorpion.

"Valon proposed to ME. I said yes. Mrs. Vance, I promise that I'll take good care of him. I've been doing that for almost a year now."

"But..." Joan, a plump and jolly-looking redhead almost as short as Kala, looked at her son in concern. "I'm sorry, this is just a lot to take in... It's really sudden..."

"Mom." Valon wrapped his arms around his mother. "I'm a PPC agent. Don't question things. Kala is the best person I've met there, and she's saved my life on more than one occasion. I might be a scatterbrained airhead, but you should know by know that I don't screw up when it comes to friends."

"Right... You don't." She looked nervously at the girtablilu... Before grinning in a way that only she and Valon could. "I'm guessing that you wanted me to make the cake?"

"... You must be psychic."

———

October 26th, 2015

Chakkik eyed the card with curiosity. He could not for the life of him understand why he was being invited to this event. It was almost as difficult for him to comprehend as the event itself.

Well... Perhaps I should dispose of this before...

"OMYGOD CHAK IS THAT A WEDDING INVITATION!?"

"Sigh..." Of course, his partner would instantly zero in on it. "Yes, Stephanie, although I fail to understand why I received it. I think that..."

"Who's getting married?"

"... Valon Vance and Kala Jeng, of the Department of Floaters. I have worked with them before. Regardless, I..."

"When is it?" Stephanie looked more eager with every question.

"December the tenth, but..."

"Is there gonna be cake?"

"I imagine so, DO NOT INTERRUPT." Chakkik's bark made the kraken jump. "I planned on simply discarding this message and pretending I never received it..."

Stephanie wilted a bit. "Oh... Okay then..."

"However. It seems that you would not miss this event for the world, and I am not so cruel as to trample your hopes into the earth." Chakkik sighed. "I suppose that we can attend, even if only for a mo—"

The disguised Mantis Ant was muffled by Stephanie's embrace. "THANK YOU! THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU! Oh! I know! We can invite Cupid, and Lapis..."

"Now, I do not think you should be too hasty..." Lapis he could tolerate, but Stephanie's boyfriend was prone to irritating him, particularly when drunk.

"... and Natalie, and Za'kiir..."

"Those two would ruin the occasion if I am to attend." Chakkik's memory of his duel with the Khajiit was hardly pleasant. Neither had won that bout, but the event had stung the Mantis Ant's pride.

"... and Gabby!"

"GODS, NO!"

————

Anyway... on wedding roles.

The maid of honor, flower girl, and ring bearer have all been chosen. However, I still need a best man, an officiant, and probably some other things.

No, I'm not gonna tell you who they are. That's spoil the fun, wouldn't it?

What I did was went into source mode and edited the code from there. ;)

I feel that the crafting system is fantastic, but the characters have somewhat generic reactions and don't feel as fleshed out as they had in previous games. Fallout 2 had arguably the best written dialogue, and New Vegas had arguably one of the best stories. Fallout 4 is...fun, but I don't find it as engaging as 2 or New Vegas.

(Do forgive me if this sounds more like a review. Mostly Spoiler free; you're good if you've gotten half-way through the main quest.)

First up, stuff which is either nitpicky or good:

Once I got up to level 25, enemies just stopped mattering. I've got almost 200 stimpaks, and I'm worried I just might cause an integer overflow with all the (Useless .38) ammo I have. I'm assuming this is just because I'm doing tons of sidequests, some of which I got in the early game, so I can't expect those to be challenging to anyone above level 10 or so. Not that rampaging around a raider-filled store isn't fun, mind you, it just gets old after a while.

One thing I dislike about the new gameplay is the fact that useless ammo is really common, while stuff that I actually need is incredibly rare. Sometimes justified, sometimes not, but either way it would have been nice to craft your own. It has allowed me to roleplay as an Ork, though, using pipe weapons, so that's good, I guess. Just never aim down the sights, and make sure to use a drum mag. It's really fun, trust me.

I love the new cast of companions, as well as the factions. The Institute enemies are quite fun, seeing as how I'm essentially hacking apart T-600 Terminators with a machete. Gunners are fun, but I think we've all seen enough 'generic evil mercs' to last us a while. The Minutemen are quite likable in that they provide amazing contrast to the Enclave. One represents evil, pre-war America, the other shows us what America could have been without the evil and corruption. I have mixed feelings about the Brotherhood of Steel, but they've given me a metric ton of fanfic fuel.

The companions I've unlocked so far are all unique, but seem to share a common theme (except for Dogmeat). Not sharing what it is, for the sake of spoilers, but it's easy to figure out after a while. I loved Blade Runner, so nick Valentine is who I've stuck with for quite a while, but I'm planning on using Curie once I've done Valentine's quest. Not sure what her carry limit is, but I hope it's really high.

I also love the new crafting system, especially it's reverence of dakka. It's like Skyrim and New Vegas had a baby, which was then raised by Orks. By that, I mean you can add an automatic receiver to almost anything, which is awesome. You can also make drugs out of antifreeze and detergent, which is funny in it's own way. The crafting system, while quirky, is most certainly the best seen so far.

Now for the bad:

Glitches galore. I had a Deathclaw rush me a while back, and I accidentally backed off a cliff. The Deathclaw followed... but wound up simply running off the edge and into the air like a Loony Toons character. While funny, it does show me that Bethesda really doesn't seem to think very highly of quality control. This isn't the only noticeable glitch I've seen, either. During a firefight, Nick Valentine's dismissal menu popped up for no reason whatsoever, so I tabbed out, thinking it was just a small glitch. But, then he decides to dismiss himself back to the Red Rocket Truck Stop, and for some reason, his disposition dropped like a ton of bricks on Jupiter. Fortunately, I had an earlier save, plus the Debug Console, but this is getting ridiculous.

The performance is not nearly as good as I'd expect, either. Mad Max had graphics that were about on-par with Fallout 4's, and my computer, for all it's faults, is quite powerful. So, imagine my surprise when I can't even get a steady 40-FPS on 'ultra' settings. And this is after digging through the game's files and optimizing everything I could. Even with some of the settings on high, I still get >20 in some areas, none of which have obvious sources of performance loss. I'm talking about getting 60 FPS looking at the glorious HD world from the top of a city shop, but a five-foot patch of nondescript dirt lowers my performance down to twenty.

Finally, I feel that the new radiation system does not work very well at all. If they were trying to be more realistic, it isn't, and I'm not entirely sure why they'd want it to be more realistic, given that Fallout runs on pure SCIENCE! It's really quite annoying to run little damage calculations in your head now, because every rad you take makes you need to recalculate everything, as opposed to every level of radiation sickness or so. And that's without getting into contaminated food. I can't tell you how much food I've wasted simply because radiation deals percent-based damage, while food heals a fixed number. For me at least, this new system takes a lot out of the game, due to rendering found food items nearly useless to me.

And now, we tackle the ugly:

Power armour. Almost everything about it, this time around. While I like the return to the 'walking tank' portrayal it originally had, the almost-certainly game balance induced need for fusion cores sucks. There, I said it. It sucks. I have never before needed a glorified battery to run my power armour, so why now? This is a world where forearm-mounted computers can run for 200 years on an internal nuclear power source, and now you're telling me that I can't even get a day's worth of charge out of my armour? How did they manage to effectively deploy it during Anchorage? More importantly, how does the BOS manage to not run through their entire supply in one day? I can handle reasonable, well-used retcons, but this just breaks canon in so many ways. They should have gone with a Powered Power Armour-like system (It's an awesome mod for New Vegas). I fought a legendary raider wearing X-01 armour. Didn't even need a stimpak. So, no, game balance is no excuse for nerfing something in this manner, given how broken the game balance already is, and especially given just how many other ways exist to balance the armour.

Ultimately, I give it a 6 on a scale of one-to-ten, for being fun while also being glitchy as hell, having non-existent game balance, breaking its own canon, and using the English language. I think we need to wait a while for some patches before I truly write a review, though. Also, if it seems like I complain a lot or just savaged the game, that's pretty much normal for me.

We're talking about the true life-consuming game from november, Legacy of the Void, and this protoss campaign we waited for so much time, right?

(Please don't take this as trolling, I wanted to do this -bad- joke when SeaTurtle first talked about Fallout 4, but the game was only mentionned again now.)

And I'm sorry for not being around to beta-read your mission lately; Real Life hasn't been nice to me in the past few months. I'll do what I can to help if time allows it, though!

College is rough from what I hear. *hugs and offers SPaGhetti* Glad to have you back!

Here, take this Magical D20, I botched the magic, so it always lands on 1, have fun.

Here's your complimentary bag of fun-sized (snack-sized?) Hershey chocolate bars! It includes regular ones, almond ones, cookies and cream ones, and Mr. Goodbars for good measure! Don't eat them all at once :P

*tosses* Have this bag of black-hole chocolate, please. As for your mission, I hope it will be going smoothly and that you can post it soon.

I know too well what's like to have to suddenly drop off the face of the earth due to college. I was gone for nearly a year thanks to my preparations for my entrance exams and then my first semester happened...

As your welcome back gift, please have this Rorschach Book, which can change into virtually any written fiction in existence. Just close your eyes while holding it, think about what you wanna read and then blink three times.

I hope you're able to finish your mission soon. What is the continuum and what type of mission is it?

I'm trying to get all the breedable hidden abilities. Unfortunately, I've reached the point where everything is either old events or Friend Safaris that I don't have. If anyone has anything off the following list that they could trade me, it'd be much appreciated.

Turtwig/Grotle/Torterra (Shell Armor)
Piplup/Prinplup/Empoleon (Defiant)
Pansage/Simisage (Overgrow)
Pansear/Simisear (Blaze)
Ferrothorn (Anticipation)
Litwick/Lampent/Chandelure (Infiltrator)
Fennekin/Braixen/Delphox (Magician)
Bunnelby/Diggersby (Huge Power)
Scatterbug/Spewpa/Vivillon (Friend Guard)
Litleo/Pyroar (Moxie)
Flabébé-Y/Floette-Y/Florges-Y (Symbiosis)
Flabébé-B/Floette-B/Florges-B (Symbiosis)
Skiddo/Gogoat (Grass Pelt)
Espurr/Meowstic (Own Tempo/Prankster/Competitive)
Swirlix/Slurpuff (Unburden)
Inkay/Malamar (Infiltrator)
Helioptile/Heliolisk (Solar Power)
Pumpkaboo-A/Gourgeist-A (Insomnia)

(Oh, and if you have a spare Lansat/Starf Berry or Sail Fossil floating around, that'd be appreciated too.)

If you're missing anything not on the above list, I can probably get one for you, so feel free to ask.

100%, the only moment when you can say that you've really finished a game. If you want more suggestions about games, why not playing the Devil Survivor games? The combat system isn't to different from FE, the difficulty is there if you don't grind like mad, there is several paths in order to finish the game ... giving them a try is worth it (though you also would have to look for some path guides too. Guide Dang It moments are the worst in any game).

I tried playing Lunatic once. It didn't end well. Who is your favourite character, by the way?

If you're looking for game suggestions, I recommend picking up Bravely Default. It's a JRPG à la Final Fantasy-- in fact, it's a Square Enix game. The characters, art design, and story are really good.

People have been predicting the end of the world for a long time. Doubt it'll stop any time soon.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Task 1

1460 mL of miruvor are needed, although the idea of only one emergency ration for a whole party shows that Lord Elrond can be quite greedy with this drink. If he really wants to keep it that much, why did he not use his first option of sending Dwarves?

Task 2

13 marchwardens are needed, but if Lord Celeborn feels himself superstitious, and he's ready to give up some ground, it can be cut down to 6 marchwardens. Lothlorien will need them when Sauron's forces launch their attacks.

Task 3

The purely arithmetic answer is 10 attacks. However, I recommend wiping them out, not letting half of them going away like this. Besides, the scouts must have sight problems, because this party is made up of orcs, not Uruk-hai. Make sure they're not a scouting party from Dol Guldur.

Task 4

125 miles from Minas Tirith. Less for the ones who who went to Cair Andros.

Task 5

1554 orcs survived officially. Unofficially, killing each other and making a really bad job of painting this place with their blood, earning by the way execution for the survivors, Sauron need sending new hosts for orcing this place, lest some little hobbits pass unscathed in Mordor.

Task 6

84 wagonloads must be prepared. Famine strikes Pelargir though, because Imrahil and Dol Amroth's army need the additional supplies too. And the corsairs are left with nothing. A clever plan indeed.

Task 7

42 cakes of cram are needed. However, it would be more wise for these Elves to wait the war for heroically fleeing Middle Earth while other people kill Sauron for them and the Valar.

Task 8

Mathematics say 70 days, but we're talking about Hobbits there. How in the name of Eru could one of them not eat these mushrooms before getting hte total needed? Real answer would be never.

Task 9

8 hours and 15 minutes. This one earned his beer.

Task 10

37.44 gallons. Now, what's the matter with Elven nobles and alcohol? Thranduil is clearly using this human wine in order to keep the Elven wine for himself. He could not be evil, but he's greedy when t comes to his drink, eh?

Task 11

The answer is, of course, 11. How could we forget Bill the Poney (especially since he's so good with darts when you piss him off), and the true Tenth Walker, Gollum (Like it or not, the old little mutant Hobbit did save the day at the end.)

I got quite a laugh out of these; it makes me want to prepare DOFA math papers!

"If Tiana has to bake three beignets for each canon, and there are thirty three main canons in DOFA, plus three secondary characters for each, and Tiana can make fifteen beignets at a time, how many batches will she need to make to satisfy each canon in DOFA? For extra credit: How many will she have left over for the mini-Brooms to clean, and if a team of five minis can clean up ten beignets in two minutes, how long will it take?"

-Alleb

Today, your students either become qualifies fanfiction writers, or are banned from fanfic forever.
Shouldn’t this be "qualified"?

Since I’m neither a goblin nor an OFU coordinator, I abstain from taking the other tests. Doing too much arithmancy isn’t fun. (But reading through the test papers is.)

HG

I haven't been able to look at them until just now, since PDFs and ship computers/internet do not play nicely together (ship computers do not play nicely with much actually) but the OFUM one in particular is excellent, and your trademark wit shines through with all of them.

-July, who isn't going to get fooled into doing maths in her spare time

So I took this test. OFUU und OFU-squared have to wait for another day. Also, in case somebody else wants to take the test
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Task 1
1 Sindar first day .......: 150 ml
Two more days: 2 * 230 ml = 460 ml
Emergency ration .......: + 240 ml
Miruvor for one Sindar ...: 850 ml
Lord Elrond should prepare 2 * 850 ml = 1700 ml Miruvor.

Task 2
Mylord, if you send the marchwardens forward across the river, 6 guards on the path that is 1200 m long should be sufficient.

[unfrozen] 200m 200m 200m 200m 200m 200m [unfrozen]

Task 3
Too many. Assuming that most valiant knights can probably slay one Uruk-hay per attack, there are not many more than 8 knights. Since the orcs will not just stand still and accept being slain, Erkenbrand's knights will probably all be killed before half the Uruk-hay lie dead.

Task 4
Marks are set every 10 miles, as is easily seen from counting the marks between 100 miles and 160 miles. The army's position appears to be approximately 85 miles from Minas Tirith. If the army marches north another 40 miles, they will have come approximately 125 miles from Minas Tirith. (But if my map isn't wrong, they should turn right early on the second day.)

Task 5
15 hosts * 200 orcs per host = 3000 orcs are sent to work.
Foundations .......: 254 deaths
Keep ..............: 312 deaths
Outer walls ........: 65 deaths
Towers and turrets : 157 deaths
Painting it black: + 658 deaths
Total deaths .....: 1446
3000 – 1446 = 2554 orcs will survive if they don't kill each other for reasons independent of the construction work.

Task 6
Don't bother. The corsairs will take it all anyway.

Task 7
12 * 3.5 = 42 cakes of cram are required for a journey from the Woodland Realm to the Grey Havens, but are you even allowed to go there if you aren't an elf, and why wouldn't an elf have lembas?

Task 8
70 days (42000 g divided by 600 g per day).

Task 9
To the mines: 0h 25m
Quarrying ..: 2h 30m
Forging ....: 4h 45m
Back .....: + 0h 35m
Total ......: 8h 15m

Task 10
Festival : 64.92 gallons
Ordinary – 27.48 gallons
Extra ...: 37.44 gallons

Task 11
Everybody should know that there were nine walkers and a girl riding a unicorn, but since I'm running out of time I can't tell u the ful storie.

HG

I love all the different groups and settings you managed to work into the OFUM test, and the variety of question setups you used in the OFUU one. That's especially impressive, considering Labyrinth's single movie doesn't have nearly the same amount of material as Tolkien's stuff.

The OFU-squared one is especially delightful in how nonchalant it is about the implied abuse of students. I wish I had the time and the ink money to print these all out and work through them in long-hand! Maybe someday.

Incidentally, I can't find the OFUU anywhere through Google, just the Labyrinth Academy where we get the minis on the wiki. Do you have a link to OFUU?

—doctorlit would love to write an OFU someday, but doesn't have the time to keep up with it properly right now.

Even if there's no sporking taking place, if you intend to make this story a part of the PPC canon, you need to get Permission first.

...not to make your docs available for public view. Crowdsourcing for betas is not a good idea. Just say that you want someone to beta your work with a brief description, and send a PM with a link to anyone who's willing to help.

I'm honestly touched that you wish to take after my style of mission writing, but please be aware that I may not necessarily be the best source of inspiration, especially since I feel that my missions began to drag quite a bit this past summer. The stress that began sinking in caused my prose to plod a lot more than I feel it should, which is an example I wouldn't want others to follow. You can use my earlier ones as a reference - now THOSE were a lot of fun - but I would kindly advise working towards your own unique style of writing once you get the hang of things. Imitation may be the most sincere form of flattery, but it can only get you so far, especially when it comes to writing.

I think I can beta read your stuff tonight... if RL doesn't get to me first.

In which case, the irony would be that the Carrionites would be unable to affect it, thus affecting it themselve sin a case of double-irony. Thus the Irony would be lost.

I think I just blew my own mind.

Now, manipulating a Word World, on the other hand... Carrionite OP nerf nao. =]

The Ironic Overpower doesn't use your words against you. It enforces comedic clichés. So carrionites would be just as susceptible as anyone else.
Now, if you'd said an OotS bard, I could see it.

I'd say that the Carrionites' word-based science will be affected by the IO just like everything else and will be messed with just like anything else.

This is....actually a thing?

...Welp I would like to announce that I'm in the middle of producing my own insert serie based on JJBA entitled Joe Jammy Joe Jimmy John Johnson Brando's Odd Escapade.

His stand is called Champions of the World and it's just like The World but even more broken because he can go back in time and raise people from the dead.

Danny will live.

Have a good fill of turkey anyways!

Remember that if the Native Americans could help strange people fleeing from religious persecution in the 1600s, we can certainly help anyone fleeing from the horrible things Daesh has done in 2015. *hops off soapbox*

May your stuffing be tasty,
may your turkey be plump,
may your potatoes n' gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
may your pies take a prize,
may your Thanksgiving dinner STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!

And belated happy thanksgiving if you are in Canada!

I'm not sure how well they would work given your character's age. I guess that's up to you.

The first is Aiden Nil, who came to the Nursery as an infant in 2011 and would be four now (if you're setting your story in late 2015 HST). He is a badfic rescuee and child of mpreg. The second would be Teyala Solnerii, one of the Nursery workers. She primarily deals with the youngest children and newly adoptive parents.

Feel free to refer to Henry Robinson, who is six years old himself.

There's also Ian Thomas Horowitz, who's a rescuee from this mission and closer to seven years old, IIRC. He's available for adoption, if you want him. {= )

~Neshomeh

It's not that she was a child in the Nursery, but she was a big part of the entertainment scene there. She's on TV a lot there and, well, while she skews younger, you just always remember the things you grew up watching.

And they've been there since mid to late 2011, though they were a six month old and two fetuses at that point. They should be, um, roughly three and four by now? All three are badfic rescues (Torchwood canon, historical mission still in the works--Karen and I want to rewrite what we have, and are both kind of busy with school right now); two are on the wiki, under Seren Sato and Owain Sato, because they appeared in a TYH interlude as well as an rp. Their older sister, Ruby, doesn't have her own page.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure the RP link works anymore. Hopefully, it's archived. I can give you descriptions of personality and so on if you want to use them (which would be pretty cool :) ), but I'd prefer to be able to look over their appearance(s) before you post. Depending on the piece and what's going on IRL at that point, I can act as a general beta as well, if you like. But yeah, the Satos making an appearance sounds like a lot of fun. I'm in with the condition of looking them over :)

~DF

PS: If you've read the interlude--Davey isn't around yet, and probably won't be for a while yet, assuming he does make it into canon. It's just Ruby, Seren, and Owain for now.

...doesn't mean she won't visit her old home every once in a while, so I would love to have her meet Aiko! Heck, they could even be rivals due to fandom war if you're okay with that.

I will have to at least beta read every appearance of her's, though. Gotta make sure she stays in character and the like. ^^;

While the child I have there is too young for anything... His adoptive mother, Publica Kurusu, is free to use. I just need to look at the bit she appears in.

You can use Ammy Moss. I haven't written anything with her, since the mission she's from and the epilogue where she's placed in the Nursery, both of which are about 18 months ago, so feel free to make up details if you want.
Mission: https://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/ski-trip-aka-much-improbable-such-random-wow/
And the epilogue: https://rc170.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/epilogue-02-the-nusery/

I love everything Alice and I'm so ashamed that I missed the anniversary!

According to the Division of Applied-and-theoretical Multiversal Physics, there are two main (not-entirely-contradictory) theories on how fanfiction works, Acute Canonical Entanglement and the Compromise Theory. Both propose three levels of reality:

-Atomic world(s)
-Canon worlds
-Fanfiction

Agents can read the Words in fanfic, but not often in canon - though Flowers can read canon words with ease. No agent or Flower has ever read the Words of World One, so it is assumed to be a real, Atomic world.

The difference is that ACE says there is one atomic world (World One), where authors create canons. The Compromise Theory says that there are many atomic worlds, and authors create canons by drawing from those. So there is a real Middle-earth, which Tolkien drew on to create at least two Word Worlds - the 'canon' version, and the Book of Lost Tales. Fanfic then draws on those Word Worlds to create its own, subsidiary Word Worlds.

Under pure ACE, it's entirely possible that only atomic people can create Word Worlds. Under the Compromise Theory, there are atomic people behind the word-based inhabitants of canon, who can write as much as they want.

This may mean that, as with so many things in HQ, the existence of those parts of the PPC depends on your point of view.

hS

I've mentioned before how I believe all "fiction" to be real somewhere in this big, old reality of ours. I'm sure the PPC is much larger in scope than we realize, limited by what we experience of our world's fiction. They must be dealing with fanfiction from most continua that exist. So Martin Miggs is resident to some world, possibly close to the Potterverse world in having Muggles, possibly even our world! (with the Potterverse artist not realizing the character they dreamed of came from a world where "Muggle" has no meaning), and Potterverse people right fanfictions about that, and the PPC surely deals with them.

Of course, in my version of the model, the PPC wouldn't need separate departments/divisions to deal with those, since they wouldn't differentiate between one word world or another, but I know not everyone here shares my insanity, so.

—doctorlit has thought on doing a fully fabricated mission of that sort. Maybe someday.

Doc is now my favourite character. You can't convince me otherwise.

Plus, it's really awesome to see that your work has managed to inspire someone else into doing something with it. I wanna see more of Building Maintenance now!



Maybe I'll let Harris loose again and see what BM will do next...?

I just remembered SeaTurtle's writing who's the prologue for this story. It was pretty interesting and it shows that Floaters really do anything. HQ is can be more interesting that badfic sometimes.

( And Librarian really needs to break this Tablet/Riddle addiction, though. One day the IO will remember he exists and ... well, judging the way he has gone pretty much unscathed without doing anything during missions, it will bite him really hard.)

And thank you two very much for allowing me to borrow said characters and also going over it for publishing.

And again, I apologize for any SPaG errors in it, I won't have the opportunity to fix them for quite some time.

-July

TV Tropes' page on B-movies has a lot of ones with weird (or comic-book style) science. "Beginning of the End" (grasshoppers eat giant irradiated vegetables, grow huge and go psycho), "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (though Star Trek probably did that one already), "The Deadly Mantis" (giant Ice Age praying mantis gets thawed out and attacks)...also, most things Mystery Science Theater 3000 did.

...but, yes, there are standards. (I don't know, are there?)

The requirements are essentially: Able to serve some purpose within the PPC, willingness to not burn the Flowers, and willingness to get horribly killed in some fashion (For the action departments, at least). I doubt the PPC would put a six/seven year old in the literal line of fire, but if they happen to be a math genius or something, well, there's always room in finance!

So, no, I would not say there is an age requirement for joining the PPC proper, considering that virtually every department is short-staffed. Look at WWII, the US started recruiting little kids to collect scrap and do other odd jobs. Unless you count tetanus, it's a non-dangerous job. I doubt the PPC would reject volunteer help, even from a child (Depending on the job, of course.)

This actually ties into another discussion I saw once, about the minimum drinking age in HQ. The general consensus (Last I checked) was that anyone old enough to fight is old enough to drink.

I mean with so many species being a part of PPC I'm sure that would be taken into consideration with any possible minimum age.
I mean take for example the Gem vs Human life spans in Steven Universe. They've all lived through most of human history and to them childhood can last hundreds of years compared to the traditional child until 18 years old in American culture.

"Will this have the PGs or other boarders running in one direction or the other?"

That's the only real requirement. You could have an agent be a block of cheese if you chose as long as you could make it work.

I know that, because they have before on this exact question.

But no. We've had baseline human agents recruited as young as 11 before now. There is a long, long tradition of people sometimes writing agents the same age as themselves, which even by July's stringent requirement that everyone (lie and claim to) be 13 before joining the Board, means you can have agents who are too young to even be thinking about university.

Also: yes, they have to show 'qualities... of a certain standard'. They have to be willing to join the PPC. That's about it. ;)

hS

I think the only requirement is, 'don't be OP'

We have agents that are former Sues, underage... yeah, I don't think this chaotic bunch of merry misfits (AKA the PPC) has a lot of requirements for its employees :P

I don't remember if I said before, but I did read it, and it was awesome. ^_^ I really love the fact that, despite me not remembering the canon sequence at all, I can construct the story of what's happening in the DoM purely from the trace - at the same time as Ms. Hopkirk is. The amount of story inherent in some of your simple phrases - 'Something was banished, something was summoned, and something was split' - is just chilling. And the way the tension ramps up until the very end - it's really very good.

But I'm not here to (re?)review the story (which I couldn't resist rereading, as you may be able to tell); I'm here to talk about the cover art. I really like the explosion, with the pieces of paper flying out; it looks extremely realistic. And even though Ms. Hopkirk's expression looks fairly neutral, there's something about it... the set of her jaw conveys determination, but something about her eyes also conveys the bewilderment she feels all the way through the story.

(Also, her buttons match the emblem on her door. Character profile in a button, how's that for nifty?)

hS

And congratulaions and actual birthday too, of course.

And congrats on the title page :)

Congrats to you and your daughter for getting that awesome story up and running! :D

Also, happy birthday to you for yesterday! :D

* starts singing rather out of tone *

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU
ON THIS DEAR DATE
MUCH HAPPINESS
MANY YEARS OF LIFE!

I do remember it! And I love the image, that's great!

*deep breath*

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

*blows noisemakers*

Ah, hello there, fellow newbie! *offers coffee cup* Sorry about the late welcome - I just got back to the Board after a short time away, and felt it would be rude not to greet you, so here I am!

I myself first got into the PPC around the same age you did (and, like you, also fell away from it for a time before finally deciding to come back and join the community properly), so I can very much relate to you on that one. They're a very pleasant bunch around here though, so I'm sure you'll feel right at home.

Just watch out for the potted Wilver ferns in the corner. Very sensitive fellows, they are.

Hey, I recognize your username!! Small Internet :pp welcome!

Have a shovel that digs up... uh... hang on.

*dig dig dig*

... okay, it digs up giant pink gems that are worth... eh, about two hundred gold, I'd say.

(Shovel Knight reference!)

Don't worry about being shy. I was really shy too before I came on here. People here are rather nice however so you should be good.

I definitely know what it feels like to be too nervous to make a post here. It took me a long time between discovering about the PPC and this very Board and actually introducing myself. You're definitely not alone in that regard. And I think you will find that is the just about the friendliest and the most welcoming community out there. People here are very warm and understanding. Just by simply making this post, You've already become a part of this community and it won't very long before you feel like it.

As for your welcoming gift, have a Bag of Holding, so that you are able to store the truckload of gifts you are getting.

Glad you were able to find us again. Here's a set of Post-it notes and a box of movie-theater popcorn!

Please accept this elegantly crafted starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiiit's Starmie!

And your starting item is:-

Stony Wand from Dungeons of Dredmor!

Stony Wand's a pretty interesting item in Pokémon. Every time the holder gets hit with a contact move, they have a 10% chance to use Rock Slide. It's generally more useful on walls, but Starmie can run a pretty cool tricksy set. Try a Timid-natured set with Scald, Rapid Spin, Recover, and Reflect Type, with Natural Cure as your ability and your EVs in HP and Speed. 248 HP / 16 Special Defence / 244 Speed should work. =]

Since other people have asked all of the important questions, I'll just leave you this cup of Earl Grey tea. No, the leaves aren't going to try to eat your face when you sip. Nope. Not at all.
*innocent whistling*

I remember I used to stay up until 3 in the morning to browse online before I was convinced to change up my sleep schedule... Ah well. Anyway, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

It will automatically turn into your favorite type of candy once you begin eating it. Welcome aBoard!

Welcome to the board and here is a greenk light pen.

Welcome aBoard! As always, all the good questions have been asked... (Honestly, I get that "What if the internet people hate me" thing as well, which is why I don't post much here and/or post late in a thread. :P)
As a gift, have this quill pen! I got it from Shuu, pretty nice guy, isn't he?

Welcome! Have a slice of Infinite Pizza



I think you know what do to with it ;)

Have this pot of black-hole coffee for helping with the sleep deprivation. I'm happy for you that you finaly joined this community, and hope you're here to stay.

And now for the usual questions:

Did you read the Original Series and the Constitution?

What spinoffs did you read?

What are your favourite fandoms?

Hehe, ,you're not the only one staying up waaay later than they ought to. I do that all the time but that's beside the point shhh

*clears throat*

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

Since it seems like you've already done the required reading, I'll just drop a courtesy link to http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki
”>the Wiki; if you have any questions, look here before asking. We like it when newbies do the research. ;)

Anyway, hope you like it here!

Because if you want an amusing little troll(I think) fic of that check out https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6688861/1/Garfield_Royal_Rescue" >GarfieldRoyalRescue
If you don't want to read it then try this YouTube reading which includes the man behind yugioh abridged himself.

As I told emythos, I'm terribly bad at explaining why I like something, and since I don't know The Mortal Instruments or Elder Scrolls, I may not even have the right words to talk about William and Za'kiir. Anyway, I liked this very much and want to see more of them both.

Now to less pleasant things. You know this always happens when I comment.

“Drinking is normal,” he said, letting his paw move back its original position by his side.
 Missing word "to"?

So, one one hand you want to keep bad memories, and forget them on the other.
Should be "on one".

Also, I'm not sure whether it is possible to see a patch of sky through the open door. I got the impression that Rudi's is somewhere in the endless corridors of PPC HQ, not in the New Caledonian PPC city.

Natalie, who was sitting before the console on a revolving chair, turned at the cautious knocking sound.
Gerrman/Polish habit again? But isn't this Silenthunder's part? My dictionary keeps telling me that "before" relates to time and order of events, while the same German word referring to position relative to an object would be translated to "in front of" or simply "at", although the latter may imply that Natalie is actually doing something at the console rather than just sitting there.

And there are one or two typos in "Sugar Spell":

And even if that is not the same heavenly gift, it it still a good substitute.
Should be "it is".

He would make amends to Natalie as soon as she came back ...
I think this should be "he". As far as I'm aware, Natalie didn't leave and thus won't come back. But Za'kiir left and comes back to her at the end of "Mind Over Matter".
 
HG