However, things might work out for me and Nesh to make an appearance. Living in Chicago makes it a little easier, of course.

-Phobos

I'd love to go! Of course it depends on when it actually is... My family may want to take a vacation sometime in August. Plus I'll have to figure out something for staying arrangements,

"Aww, that sucks. Oh well. Lead on, man." Maxwell happily fell into step beside Zeb. "And thanks for your advice. I'll be sure to follow up on that. Oh yeah, one last thing: what's up with your face? It looks like someone stole your dessert or something."

Well, draconequus magic does make more sense than 'white-balance trick.' For anyone wondering about the actual dress, I think Friday's XKCD and this gif may help out some.

http://xkcd.com/1492/

If I look only on the topmost part of the full image, it appears to be a very pale blue, and the stripe at the neck may be bronze (if I hadn’t seen Iximaz’s post, I would have called it dark gold), and I can nearly imagine how somebody would see it as white and gold. But when I scroll down to see all of it, it’s clearly navy blue and black or dark gray; I cannot make me see anything else.

He dared a glance and the infernal piece of clothing and froze.
You meant "at", didn’t you?

continually trying to make the other see what they have already seen
I think this should be "had already seen".

HG

Oh, very well done! I'm starting to hate that stupid dress (for the record, I've only ever seen it as blue and bronze, which earned me the ire of my classmates). I did see an interesting article about how and why people perceive its colors differently, though, so that was interesting. I could totally see Discord, or at least a mini one, make a dress like that.

But seriously, blue and black? White and gold? You people are all nuts. ^_~

When I first saw it, it was firmly white and gold. There was no way in Tartarus that thing could be black and blue. My brother, on the other hand, saw black and blue. After looking at the image long enough, I found the dress changing, and saw it as black and blue. Now, I switch back and forth between the two.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here is the image everybody has been talking about the last few days:

So, I present to you, my best fanfic. Which is very good at all.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8842755/1/Justin-s-Leitmotif

It is, oddly enough, the piece that got me Permission. The fandom was/is Shadowrun, and the chapter is about as boring as watching cardboard dry (in my opinion at least, obviously someone thought there was promise or something.)

So, since I don't recall the proper html tags to link something, have a url: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6964114/1/Tao-of-the-Machine

Tao of the Machine: a boring chapter with poorly described characters and scenery, and a terribly cliche name that means basically nothing.

But I have written exactly one fanfic. Go to fimfiction.net and look up Midnight Green. I abandoned it, so it's fairly short.

I've discussed this before, but if anyone does PPC that fic, I'd prefer that the OCs be rescued. None of them want to be Sues, as I explicitly tried to avoid writing them as such.

Just burn the Zebra Mask outfit. That thing contains pretty much all of Midnight's glitter.

(Hint: no, not when I'm writing it)

This is the first three chapters of 'Dragonchild'. It hasn't been touched since 2004, and this is the first time I've put any of it online. The only change I've made is to rename the characters, for my own sanity if nothing else.

It's one of a loose series of stories which also included Rings of Power, and the character correspondences are basically the same. Alice is still the original version of Agent Lou, and Jacob - if it wasn't blindingly obvious - is the self-insert.

As far as canon details go, it's pretty accurate (I think! I haven't dared read it over). It certainly should be - this is me we're talking about, I'm pretty sure I had the books in front of me as references.

But the plot? That... yeah, that's something else entirely. Ohboy.

(As for why I've stopped at Chapter 3: after that, it basically consisted of other stories I'd stapled together with minimal editing. It got really weird)

So yeah... concrit? Is there anything worth trying to save in there?

hS

Do I have to? There's a reason I tend to ignore my early fanbrat days... Those were dark times indeed. I am quite proud to say that I've grown immensely in my writing, though. Let me see what I can dig up...

Ah, yes, one of my very, very first Harry Potter fanfictions. It's not bad per se, just a little... unpolished? And kinda troperific, not to mention failing at any angst/dramatic tension whatsoever. Anyways, here is 'Ever the Same'. This sucker's nine years old; I wrote it about a month after turning 16. I think I might just use it as an 'Author beats some sense into Author-wraith' mission one of these days. That, or one of the other fics I have for this account...

Ugh, fine. Here, laugh at my terrible attempt to write a Pokemon creepypasta.

And then never ever speak of it again. EVER.

I was considering just sending in the goriest chapter of that one mega-crossover that Falchion gutted on his very first mission, but I guess there's no point in beating a fainted Ponyta. So instead, I thought I'd dig up an even older work that I produced not long after I joined dA - and the internet in general, for that matter.

Ladies and gentlemen, Pokemon: Iron and Copper.

I'm not sure what was my specific reason for writing it, but it was probably idol worship for another artist who used to create fanmade Pokemon. I later abandoned the fic due to the guy selling most of these fakemon designs among a host of other reasons, but I figured it would be worth sharing.
The fic was structured in the form of episodes like in the anime, but it involved a Stuvian self-insert and a Mary Sue, both of which were "avatars" of two of the legendary fakemon the other artist created. There were also crossover elements involved, most notably my favorite TV cartoons and movies (AtLA and The Incredibles being the most prominent).
The concept of avatars of legendaries as explored in the fic itself was an interesting one, though, at least to me anyway.

The content itself is par for the course as badfics go, but I personally dislike Episode 9, Part 2 most of all, because it ended with Violet needlessly acting like a total jerk. The episode after that would probably be a pretty close second, due to the subject matter getting a tad grimdark and needlessly long.

Incidentally, I plan to bring in one of the characters from this particular fic as the third agent of my DIC team - though I'll save the details for another time. ;)

This is Chapter 5 of my terrible, needlessly dark fic, The L Words, which I've kept around more as a memento mori than anything else. While the whole story's only 20k-ish words, this one epitomises everything that was wrong with it. The writing was repetitive. The characters weren't even remotely connected to their canon selves. The writing was repetitive. Vast arrays of magic was added because eh, throw it in. The writing was repetitive, and the writing was repetitive.

Despite this, I defended it, because I had a grand plan for it to be about Twilight going through the healing process after prolonged torture and coming back stronger. Needless to say, this never got written.

Rip to bits at will. =]

I was working on "Literary Hearts" back in high school. The premise is similar to the first game's plot, but with an OC (partly self-insert) protagonist, and worlds based on books I liked instead of Disney ones. Actually got some decent reviews during its run of activity, considering it's on the Pit!

I know the premise sounds pretty blah, but . . . I'm actually rather fond of this story. I do plan to update and continue it someday. I still think about it quite often, and I even wrote a rough draft of the next chapter at work in the past year. (Don't know where it went, though.) So, if anyone can stomach the out-there premise, I would love some concrit and general thoughts! (I linked to the second chapter, as the first is just a ripoff of Kingdom Hearts' game-play tutorial.)

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2322724/Qwizbo

Six stories, five of them dead-fic that never really went anywhere. Not sure what there is to say about it besides what I already said on my user page... so check out whatever you feel like checking out.

...but I have this imcomplete comic for an Original Character Tournament called End Run, which was essentially World War II without firearms in the Pokémon World; where I introduced a NPC. Behold!

Corinna Chan and the Temple of the Lost Flute!
Character Application (Contains manin character's introduction and backstory)
Chapter 1: Insubordination
Chapter 2: Mystery, enigma, war.
Chapter 3: Frozen Rainbow (Unfinished. I also have the physical versions without dialogue of parts 3 and 5 and still have the handwritten draft of the script, but I lost their digital finished versions when my old laptop was stolen. What happens next, essentially is: She kills those two guards, enters the place, kills two more, infiltrates the hideout, total chaos when the generator goes off, the Pichu evolves OFFSCREEN, finds the Rainbow Wing and escapes. In the still extant non-online drawn parts, there´s blood and a broken neck.)

Before this... thing, became a dead-fic; I was planing to introduce two more characters, the death of the Lucario at the Ruins of Alph, teleporting the main character to Sinjoh Ruins, meeting Arceus and she becoming an Aura Guardian, pretty much making her the Pokémon World's version of a freaking superhero. Sincerely, I have no idea of how I came up with this plot, because drugs weren't involved.

Why I present it here? Well honestly, I mostly received praise for the work, and one flame (which incidentally came from a Suethor...), and makes me suspicious of how truly good it was, because I received no constructive criticism for it (horrible artwork not withstanding). Mainly I suspect the Main Character was a Sue and the plot was stupid.

Welcome to the first 'fic I ever wrote, a purple, soapboxy little number that tried to deconstruct James Cameron's AVATAR, saw something shiny, and wandered off never to return.

Picking a chapter was actually really hard because part of what was wrong with it was that it droned on and on without ever going anywhere, but I think the bastardized version of Cavil's speech from BSG in this one really takes the cake.

http://admiralsakai.deviantart.com/art/TCTR-Chapter-28-319261278

Chapter Six of my old Fifth Marauder self-insert. Hoooly shizniz, it's bad.

"I only just met him - I've known Ripper much longer myself." He motioned his beaked head towards the Deinonychus sitting nearby. "The angel's name is Cupid, by the way. As for Rayner, he's a humanized pegasus from the My Little Pony continuum, and his nesting grounds are over at the DMS. I first met him a few weeks after joining the PPC, just after my sister made an ass of herself on her first mission."
He chuckled dryly, clicking his beak again. "That's also how I met Rina and Randa, who joined me on my latest mission - which also happened to be Ripper's first one. A Pokemon badfic of epic proportions involving no less than four character replacements - and, from what Ripper told me, a dragon in a Poké Ball."

Rose used "empathy" and "I" in the same sentence without a negator? Can you say "chutzpah"? Oh, she's talking about animal empathy. Not sure she'd be capable of comprehending what most of us mean by empathy.

"Foul is Rose"
To the tune of "Fair is Rose" from Gilbert and Sullivan's Ruddigore
CHORUS:
Foul is Rose as rot and death!
Colder her heart than Titan's lakes!
Toxic is Rose as nundu breath!
Rose is a vicious little snake!
Oh, Rose Potter, off to Mount Etna go!
That amulet take and jump in a lava flow!

1ST AGENT:
Some five and a half tales, this "druidess"
A jailbait preteen villainess
Has made a mess out of canon 'verse.
And there is even worse:
Bullies her "friends" as a matter of course
And murders without any remorse!
And one thing more, oh not-dear Rose
Go and put on some clothes!

CHORUS:
Oh, Rose Potter, go throw yourself away!
Is anybody going to call you out today!

RENA:
Know, Rose, the laugh isn't be on your side.
You are going to die!

2ND AGENT:
Foul is Rose as any skunk's spray!
Colder her heart than helium streams!
Toxic is Rose as curare!
Rose is a very dreadful dream!
Oh, Rose Potter, heroic you are not!
All your compassion doesn't even rate a single dot!
Foul is Rose.
Vile is Rose.
Ro-o-o-ose is a vicious little snake.

Before I say anything further, let me say congratulations on sporking another Rose Potter "book". If Bleeptea were a thing IRL, I'd suggest drinking copious amounts of it.

Actually, normal IRL tea can be calming as well, so I suggest taking a nice, slow drink of a cup or two before going any further!

That said, off to the mission itself!

First off, (at the risk of tooting my own horn) an internal squee rose up when you mentioned greengrocer's apostrophes, for reasons that you might be able to guess.

But a few errors as well:
* That sounded suspiciously like the Ground type one-hit K.O. move.
"Ground-type" should be hyphenated.

* "I trust your judgement, all right?"
The word is spelled "judgment", that is to say, please remove that first "E".
(I'm pretty sure that I'll get some flak for this from our friends across the pond.)

* Riddle accused Hagrid of opening the Chamber of Secrets, and suddenly cast an Arania Exhime at the acromantula when it tried to escape.

...

“It’s spelled E-X-U-M-A-I,” Rina explained....
If the incantation was misspelled, then I'd suggest putting it in quotation marks, like you did with Rose's faux-Latin back in the first part.

* “Get out, uncanon influence!” she yelled, whacking Aragog again, “begone, bad characterization! The power of Rowling compels you!

The punctuation is off. Since there's an exclamation point to end the first quote, the second quote should start with a capital letter. Otherwise, replace that first exclamation point with a comma.

In other words, fix it like this:
"Get out, uncanon influence," she yelled, whacking Aragog again, "begone, bad characterization!"

Or like this:
“Get out, uncanon influence!” she yelled, whacking Aragog again. “Begone, bad characterization! The power of Rowling compels you!

* And speaking of the exorcism, three questions:
1) What happened to the wraith itself? Usually an exorcism features the wraith leaving the body, even if it's only one sentence.

2) Why did Rina have to use Expelliarmus? She seemed to be doing the traditional "whack 'em on the head with canon" method with no problems.

3) How did Rina use Expelliarmus/i>? Unless Rina is able to do wandless magic, the omission of her taking out her wand (which is mentioned later in the mission) can be jarring.

Whew, that was quite a bit of typing. But nothing compared to what you have to deal with! Good luck, and don't go too insane!

I had no idea it was even possible to mess up canon that badly. Nice mission though.

(Also, I caught the Firefly reference thanks to the power of TV Tropes. Well done, ma'am.) Sheesh. If she keeps getting overpowered and stupid at this rate, I fear for your/Rina's/Zeb's sanity in the later books. Do you want some backup? Ami knows Harry Potter, she can help you out...if you'd like her to, of course...

Also, what are "greengrocer's apostrophes"? Is that a special term for apostrophes ending up in the wrong place?

Anyway, minor concrit time!
"'Bip! Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Human canons, 30% OOC and rising,' Rina said."
Funny, but what happened to their CADs? Did they all explode already or do they not work right in Potterverse because magic? (Zeb's imitation was less funny, tbh)

"The Sues ran at the barrier, and of course crashed into it."
Shouldn't that be "The Sue and Replacement"?

"'Oh, fine,' Rina sighed, and snapped the replacement's neck."
Not that I object to paralyzing Sues from the neck down and ensuring their death, but...it takes a fair amount of pressure to snap someone's neck. Should I assume that Rina used the rocks to help her and let the matter drop?

That's all I can find for now. Seriously, good frickin' luck with the later volumes. *hug of sympathy*

Doby stood to introduce himself

Also, “Well, looks like we have ourself our first charge!” looks weird to me. Rina may speak like this, but "ourselves" would be more grammatical, and honestly, I would just drop the word entirely.

And then there is this:
Neville insisted that they were only supposed to take two electives despite Hermione being able to take three in her fourth year without any problems.
Do you intend to imply that poor Neville is already so stuyfied that he, like Rose, should have read the books? It might be better to refer to something Neville could actually know, like Bill and Percy Weasley taking five electives in previous years, and actually getting all the O.W.L.s.

Despite this, I really enjoyed the ride.

HG

And I agree with you Mrs. Weasley would make Chuck Norris eat his vegetables, also she will ground Bruce Lee for week and make Batman agree to make friends.

In small ntipocky thing, you wrote "Chrismastime" in the last paragraph of page 29.

I'm enjoying these missions.
I like that the agents get to enjoy the canon setting such as when they have breakfast or when they slide down to the Chamber like it was a playground slide. The part where Zeb imitates Malfoy was funny.

BTW, you typed up, "Crabbe!Ron". I think that's supposed to be Crabbe!Neville.

And mad. And also brave, and also also mad. =]

I really enjoyed this mission, and it's worth mentioning that the balance of a Western longsword compared to a katana is really quite different. Also, I loved the DW references! I mean, I sort of would, but y'know. It's nice that they're there. =]

I've loathed Rose Potter for a long time now, good to see her getting her just deserts.

I did notice one typo in the mission, though.

"Rose summoned a mass of writing vines"

I believe that should be "writhing"?

Glad to finally see this finished! Congratulations on finishing another chapter of the saga, and can't wait to see the next!

And so Rose dies... again. Keep it up!
Minor nitpick... remember what happens when a phoenix dies? They burst into flame and are reborn. Presumably even Replacement!Fawkes is still a canon phoenix.
Not that it makes much difference; once the Sue is dead, canon should snap back pretty quickly.
(I feel bad criticising when you're being brave enough to take down a Legendary, but still... that's the curse of perfectionism.)

Hi! I'm a newbie who never got to meet you before, but I read all the PPC stuff you wrote and you seem pretty cool, so hi! It's nice to get a chance to meet you.

Always a pleasure to see familiar faces coming back here.

Out of sheer curiosity, I typed in "Canada university strike" on Google and skimmed over the first few results. If you don't mind me asking-- York U student?

Regardless, welcome back and congratulations on being published! *hugs*

*adds Swiss Bleepolate to lifetime supply*

School on strike? Oh boy. What happened? I hope it's just pay negotiations or something like that.

Anyway, it's good to see you back! With spring break here, I'm actually going to see if I can crank out an important interlude and a large chunk of the My Little Unicorn mission. Any particular plans on your end?

Sweet, we're up to four published PPCers now, at least! I definitely want to buy that, if you don't mind sharing the title. You get some money from that, I hope?

*offers a plate of SPaGhetti*

Congratulations on the publishing thing, too! Good for you! Come on, surely there's more to share?

Ginger wasn't about to let a party pass her by. She made a beeline for the Bleepka, leaving Alloy surrounded by people.

Alloy looked around at the crowds of agents, and promptly followed Ginger towards the food setup.

When Alloy had maneuvered her way through the crowd, Ginger was already attempting to engage anyone around her in conversation.



((OOC: There's a setup for anyone who wants to talk to the newbie agents... ^_^))

Coughing softly, a man wearing a set of olive-green uniform entered the room. If not for his clothes and cleanshaven face, he would have looked identical to a certain beleaguered Floater — and his Time Lord partner.
Fortunately, his ‘alternates’ — he guessed he’d call them that? — were nowhere to be seen, so he headed toward the table, intent on getting himself a cup of something alcoholic.

((...EVER! *sigh* Wish me luck!))

A blue-eyed girl, with neck-long auburn hair, in a Supergirl costume, enters the party. She was nervously shaking and was scrunching her arms against her chest, while dissimulatedly covered her right wrist with her left hand, slowly walking and eyeing the place. She was thinking:
"Oh dear, why I did ever agree to come here? I know no one!"

((Technician-In-Training Shui-Hua Liu is a little "undisposed" if someone is wondering about her.))

Xericka signed. "Gremlin, do not make a fuss."

Gremlin gave no indication that she heard her partner. Rather, her attention was glued to the two spies talking to the shaken-looking girl. "The nerve of some people," she muttered through clenched teeth. "I mean, where do they friggin' get off? 'Blue hair? Is she a Sue or something?' That's... that's hair-cist."

The Nobody rolled her eyes. "Hair-cist. Really?"

"I'm gonna go give them a piece of my mind."

Xericka quickly reached out and grabbed Gremlin by the collar of her blue tank top. "You said that you would not cause a fuss before we came here," she said. "You said that this was an exercise in relaxing and self-enjoyment. I am holding you to that. Leave the spies alone."

"But they said—”

"I neither need nor want you to get offended on my behalf. Their words are irrelevant to me."

"Is Aunt Gremlin gonna beat those guys up?" a new voice added from around knee level.

The two agents looked down. Aiden was clutching onto Xericka's boot with one hand and a half-eaten hamantaschen with the other. He stared up at Gremlin, his face all curiosity and innocence underneath the paper scar tied around his head like an eye patch.

Gremlin sighed. "No," she said, slouching slightly. "Auntie Gremlin will not go beat those guys up. She will instead stay here by the snack table and drink, 'cause your mom asked nicely."

"Thank you," Xericka replied. She smoothed down her red and black jacket before taking a sip from her own wine glass.

Gremlin merely mumbled in response.

...but it certainly wasn't going to be her last. Iximaz checked at the threshold to make sure her costume was in order: blue pinstriped suit, brown longcoat, red Converse. She ran a hand through her hair to make sure it was standing up properly. She pushed a pair of square glasses up her nose.

Satisfied that her Tenth Doctor costume wasn't crooked, she headed in, almost immediately heading to the other side of the room when she spotted Agent Rina talking to Kala Jeng, Zeb padding away toward the buffet table. Even if it was almost impossible at the moment to tell she was a girl, it wouldn't do for her agent persona to run into her real self.

I don't know why I didn't do this last year, she thought, grinning as she looked around at all the agents. Wonder how many other Boarders are going to show up?

(A/N: Rather than have any of my existing agents take part in this, I might as well take the opportunity to introduce a new one. Basically, remember this fic? Well, let's just say that the Mary Sue of the fic escaped after I left dA and discontinued it two years ago, and ended up in the PPC by mistake with nowhere else to go. Enjoy!)

It's funny how the Ironic Overpower drops you in the strangest of places.
The air seemed to shimmer for a few brief moments, and then, like something out of a cartoon, it spat out an anime-style pre-teen girl, who landed on her butt with a dull thumping noise. She sat there, momentarily confused, and then realized that there were a lot of strange people surrounding her.
The girl's large blue eyes swiveled around wildly in their sockets as she tried to find a hiding spot, though she was quite sure her royal blue hair with baby blue (or was that blunde?) streaks certainly wouldn't have gone unnoticed even if she hid under the snack table.
Which was exactly what she did a few seconds later.
How frustrating it was that even after two years at the Nursery, the blue-haired girl still had to struggle to get anywhere via plot hole. Granted, she had improved quite a lot since she'd first ended up the PPC (by complete accident, of course), but plot holes are fickle things, and with the obvious exception of portals, they tend to drop you off in the most inconvenient of places. In this case, this particular one had landed her smack in the middle of a huge costume party - and parties weren't exactly her idea of fun.
Quivering anxiously and trying not to hyperventilate, the girl curled up into a fetal position under the table and, in complete and utter disregard of the Ironic Overpower, she silently prayed to all of the legendaries that nobody would notice her...

Purim... that's a celebration of the events of the Biblical book of Esther, right? Growing up Christian taught me things.

Anyway, I've got a new agent joining Valon and Kala.

---

Three more agents entered the room. One was in costume as a skeleton with a trenchcoat and wide-brimmed hat, one was a seven-foot scorpion below the waist, and one was inside the RA hanging from the scorpion-woman's belt.

"So Valon, I notice that you were a lot more willing to come here than to Rudi's bar."

"Call me not Valon, for I am Charon, Horseman of Death. And when ever do I get to cosplay?"

A gentlemanly voice issued from the RA. *I do hope there's a computer here. It has been a dreadfully long time since I've seen another NetNavi.*

The scorpion-woman unhooked the RA and held it up to her face; a pair of scarred blue eyes could be seen in the screen. "I'm sure I can jack you into something, Sigma. Just as soon as I ask what that girl's dressed up as."

Sigma's eyes blinked in the RA screen. *That is Rina Dives of the Department of Mary Sues, but I'm not certain of her costume.*

"Have you been hacking into Personnel's files again?"

*No, Kala. They've increased their security; they have military-grade NetNavis on patrol there. Now where did our partner go?*

Kala Jeng looked around. "He always disappears when you take your eyes off him." Forgetting Valon for the moment, she scuttled up to the girl dressed as an electric lion. "Hi there! I'm Kala Jeng, DF. And you are?"

---

Yep, meet Sigma.EXE. Valon will be off somewhere doing strange things; unless someone brings attention to the super-tall dude dressed in black, I'll be focusing on Kala and Sigma.

((It'll give me something to do until things die down enough for me to post the Shipfest. ^_^))

There had never been any question as to what costume Agent Kaitlyn would wear. She'd been practically bouncing in her Galactic Tyrant-brand Executive Pivoting Helium-Cushioned Mobile Throne of Glory as she read the invitation, and Selene had seen the (metaphorical) fire in her eyes when she swung the chair around.

"We're going to a party!"

"Do we have too?"

Kaitlyn glared at her partner. "We're going to a party. Aaaaand it's a costume party, and I'm-"

"You can't use the disguise generator."

"Wasn't gonna. I'm dressing up as a hobbit - and you can't stop me."

Selene shook her head. "I wouldn't dream of trying."

"As for you..." Kaitlyn tipped her head to the side and studied her partner. "You could be a Borg, that'd work. Or you could go as Aule, keep it in the continuum?"

"If I were going, I'd be perfectly capable of choosing my own disguise."

Kaitlyn's eyes narrowed, and her voice turned dangerous. "'If'?"

~

"MUSHROOMS!"

Selene sighed and followed Kaitlyn across the floor. The younger woman had ended up in a copy of Pippin's costume from the movies, a decision which came as no real surprise. Selene herself had considered several costumes, but Kaitlyn had delivered scathing rebuttals to each proposal. Finally, the vampire had given in and let her partner make the decision.

She plucked at the ragged fabric draped between her arms and sides, doing her best not to let her claws tear it up too much. She'd argued against the idea, but Kaitlyn had been adamant, and ultimately Selene had lacked the will to resist. That didn't mean she wasn't constantly remembering Dafydd's reaction to finding out she was a vampire: You don't look like one... you know, bat wings, iron claws, that sort of thing. And they smell.

"If only you could see me now," she murmured, shaking her head slightly and feeling her deliberately matted hair shift against her back. At least she'd managed to keep Kaitlyn from making her stink.

((Yep, Selene's dressed as Thuringwethil. Good thing she's mellowed since the old days, or Kaitlyn would probably be on fire about now))

hS

My handle is Storme Hawk, if you need more help I used to be called Pulse Eagle, and my picture is Isaac Newton holding a Mass Effect assault rifle and an apple.

(My handle is 95VocaFan, but I probably won't be on a lot because college.)

...that there is a Protectors of the Plot Continuum Steam group already. It's just that nothing has ever been done with it. And I mean nothing.

There's nothing stopping you from making a new one, though. That might actually be for the best.

I only have an account to play Portal, but I'd be up for group games!

Honestly there're some things that look concerning for me...

First of all, the name, it doesn't sound like something an Air Nomad would use as a name; Air Nomads are based on the Tibetan people, therefore a Japanese sounding name doesn't sound very well for one.

How being The Avatar gives her a "new passion for fighting"? There was nothing like that stated about it anywhere in canon. Take Aang for example, he did not like to fight, in fact he always tried to end conflicts peacefully; he fought mostly because he was forced into fights. Korra was agressive, because well, she was Korra, that was her personality.

How does she know what a "realized Avatar" is? And how does she know she is The Avatar for that matter? You see, if she's the second Avatar, that means that a lot of the lore and practices related to The Avatar, haven't been established yet, so she has no way of knowing them, much less accepting the role and responsability of being The Avatar at teen years.

How does she know who Wan is? He died the moment she was born and has never seen him before, therefore she has no way of knowing that the guy she sees in her mind is the real deal, as far as she would know, he could be an evil Spirit trying to dupe her.

ASnd most importantly: Who is she? I see very little personality there, aside for some generic likes and dislikes and a gender identity, and personality is the most important thing for a character. Just ask yourself: What makes her... herself, if you remove everything that makes her The Avatar?

And you have a multi-chapter badfic, do you have to stop where the story stops, or can the Sue die earlier if you think you've got enough charges?

What are your fandoms? How'd you find out about us? What's the worst Mary Sue you've ever read?

Also, here's some popcorn to eat while you (re?)read the Original Series and PPC Constitution!

...but I'm afraid that OT would turn into what the wiki called "an emergency," which the bosses don't want to happen.

Can you make up a badfic simply to have your agents go on a mission for it, or is that not allowed?

Welcome aBoard! Have some urple-flavoured pancakes. I made them myself! Don't listen to that big lizard thingy trying to warn you not to eat them, they taste really good and he's just jealous of my cooking skills.

Oh, and... Ah, there it is! Here's a "Me" crash dummy! It'll probably be useful if you spork a first-person fic. Be careful, though, I have a small problem which can make me randomly inflate even though no one pulled my cord, but aside from that, I'm still pretty good!
... Oh, drat, I did it again. Hold on, domirossi's gotta deflate me...
There, much better. Sorry about that.

I'm a little cautious to say this, but… Has anyone ever tried to read the nightmare-story known as "My Immortal?" I will now hide.

So… I'm confused about something. What's the difference between claiming badfics and making up spin-offs? Do you take a badfic you looked at and privately make a spin-off off of it?

Anyway, thanks for the welcome, everybody! It seems I've been reading PPC stories before I joined - I found the ones on the CATS archive, starring Agents Ewkey and Gecka. I enjoyed those tremendously. I found the Fanfiction Universities way before that, starting with the CATS University, then the Redwall one, then the Original LOTR, then the Phantom one…


Oh yeah, I love Redwall, too. I think I forgot to mention that.

By spin-offs, you mean stories other people have written like that, right?

About the shovel question I posted earlier - I'm kind of serious about that one. Would a shovel like that gift make for an overpowered agent?

Let me see here... Read the original series, read the constitution, introduced to the board... Yes, seems everything is in order. Wait... Oh, I'm sorry. We require a pass now, not just a ticket.



Come back with the proper papers next time.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Welcome to the PPC! Drop all preconceived notions, hang your sanity by the door, and have some fun!

Welcome and stuff. Here, have this cup of tea. No, the leaves are not going to try to eat you, what causes you to say that? Banish that thought.

As a newbie welcome gift, here, have a Ring of Waterbreathing!

Also I invite to read the spin-offs (since you have commented in other replies that you have already read The Original Series) of other various writers, they're fun too!

Here you go: a +2 brilliant energy shovel! It passes through nonliving matter, so that Sue wearing full plate may as well be wearing a swimsuit for all the good it'll do.

For your Newbie Gift, here's an Automatic Canine Screen-Washer. Just set it by any screen or device, and it will lick the screen clean! ...well, relatively clean. Sort of clean? Oh, never mind.

Anyway, welcome to the community. It's a great one to be a part of! If you're interested in learning more, I highly recommend checking out the Wiki for missions or just general information.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. It rubs the lotion on its surface or else it gets blasted out of a hose... or something.

Now, there's no need to rush things concerning Permission: I suggest that you take it easy and just hang around on the Board and chime in on threads and such. Another great thing to do is to read the PPC's Original Series, which is the foundation of this here organization. Afterwards, feel free to check out the Complete List of PPC fiction and read more! Links to both of these things are at the top of the page.

Now get out there and have fun!

Have one of my own shed feathers - careful, it's sharp! Also, may I ask what fandoms you happen to be in? What are your favorite Pokemon? Who is best pony? If you could bend any element, what will it be?

As a present, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti and a barking narwhal. If the purple bow on its horn becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

Have you read the Constitution and the Original Series? Those are basically the only required readings around here.

Got any particular fandoms? I'm a big Harry Potter nut, myself. :)

Slow down a bit. I think your perception of the Board is something different from what it actually is - we don't get mad when an OC is posted, but we do try and make it into a well-rounded character if it is Suevian. Don't take criticism as something against you as an author, but as advice to help you improve and grow. You can leave if you wish... But I think that staying will help you as a writer in the long run.

In all seriousness, chill. Des is right: you don't need to worry about these things. Sure, you might've made a subpar character but we're not going to take away your writing materials because of it.

Dude, relax. Everybody makes mistakes. Hell, I was in your position back when I started, and look where I ended up (that Hat is super-uncomfortable, :/). Nobody's stopping you from leaving - how are we supposed to do that, anyway? But don't be disheartened because you made a mistake - as I said, everybody makes them; the important part is to learn from them.

Please don't go?
-Puppy-dog eyes-

Here is your very own potato gremlin pet (batteries not included). Haven't you always wanted an ugly little creature following up around? You can have him/her right after you sign this waiver.

I can't wait to read the adventures of Radioactive Sue and Fallout Agent. =]

Anyway, welcome to the forum, here's an actual fairy's tail! Took me six damned hours to catch the little git, so y'all better appreciate it. =]

Welcome to the Board. Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Not for use in a clothes iron.

*high-fives* Have a scale replica of Lyra's harp! Magical singing ability not guaranteed.

Also, as far as things to do while you wait, I encourage you to read the Original Series and any other missions that strike your fancy.

Nice to see another newbie! :D Have a fancy santa. (Homestuck reference yes no?)

You're a fan of Steven Universe? Have some Cookie Cats!

Who's your favorite Gem? I like Pearl and Lapis Lazuli. And maaaan I'm annoyed that due to shenanigans I won't be able to watch the new episodes as they air.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay!
So, since you've already got cookies, have some wilver-flavoured milk to go with them! Oddly delicious, etc.

I'm a newbie as well, but I just found these delicious Cookies, made specially with Insanity Sugar. Leave seriousness behind and go crazy!

I did follow Fairy Tail for a while (stopped after the Clock story arc, but I might continue in the future) and I'm one of the main Madoka Magica following boarder, so... uh... happy to share fandoms?

I had this post about fandoms in my head, but it kinda messed up, so I'll just offer you this cup of tea. No, the leaves aren't gonna eat you, why are you asking?

Have a +1 keen flaming burst shovel. It has double the normal crit chance, and it deals additional fire damage!

I'm afraid I haven't seen Fairy Tail. My main manga mania is Monster Musume, which you probably aren't old enough to read. Maybe.

And another Fairy Tail fan? Here, have a complimentary plate of fire chicken, along with the obligatory offering of one of my own shed feathers! Careful with the latter, it's pretty sharp...

Just like my Board-mate, I recommend reading The Original Series too, as well some other spin-offs.

As your welcome gift, you can have a replica of the One Ring that makes you cluck like a chicken.

As a present, take this chirping pocket warthog! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

I see you've already read the Constitution and the Permission article, good, good. Have you read the Original Series as well? That's also a good thing to be familiar with. Might I also direct you to the Big Sib/ Little Sib page on the Wiki? I'm hoping to get that started up. (I'd also like to note that we like to keep the swearing to a PG level.)

So, Fairy Tale, huh? Any other fandoms?

I was thinking of a threat that hS pointed out was Dude Not Funny and therefore I realized needed to be out of the picture by the time Lesson 1 starts.

I'd love to join House Grave Energy Initiative. I know I've not been very active on the Board, but I do a lot of lurking and it would be nice to be more involved.

I'll take a Big Sib position in House Kind Words, please :)

Seeing as I'm here for less than a year as well... I can understand if I wouldn't qualify. However, I think I might be a good fit for something like Skull Goblet if needed.

I was a bit concerned about my sib status due to being around for less than a year, but I might as well be a big sib to House Grave Energy Initiative. Not just because it's got steel for a house color but also because fiction writing is one of my major obsessions, and I'd be more than willing to help out anyone with worldbuilding, character development, and other fun stuff.

it should probably go without saying, but it's preferred you've been around the PPC for a while and know your stuff before signing up.

Which is probably one of the more common minis... it's a good thing I've never written anything about KSP. ^^ I'm picturing them as football-sized (either sort) mint-green rocks which go into orbit around things, mostly their adopters... I like it. :D

As for the story... yeah, I'm looking at it, and that's pretty bad. Not sure I'd agree that Kerbals aren't stupid (have you read the part descriptions? ^^ And it's not like they're actually involved in flying those spaceships), but... yeah. (I'm also dubious about you saying it 'get[s] orbital ascent wrong'. It's certainly not an efficient ascent, but it would work. The only thing missing is a scene change between '...45 degree angle.' and 'Checking the...'.

But overall... yeah. You're very right about how the story tries and fails to be funny. The ingredients are there - ha ha, they only made it to Mun 27 times out of 8 hundred and random numbers - but it just... doesn't work. (And no idea what's up with the Jool thing). (Though I do think the satellites line is quite good; repetition can be humorous, and repetition can be humorous.)

(Also, random comment: trees on Kerbin. That depends on whether your computer can handle rendering them. Mine... just about can, I think, in an emergency. But I think I have them turned off, actually.)

hS wants a MiniMus

The spy thing is a reference to a scene in the season 3 premiere where Pinkie Pie's trying to distract the Crystal Ponies from the fact that the Crystal Heart isn't ready yet (long story), but blows her cover by showing up in a catsuit and nice steampunk goggles.

As to the other stuff...I suggest going with your gut and missioning it.

By way of example, the only existing art of the Notary is a title card for the Continuity Council, that august body of loosely-connected squabblers, in which her canonical height implies that she's positioned a bit further back from everyone else and clutching a form, probably as some kind of ablative armour. Oh well, these things happen.

But yeah, given how weird the scenery can get in missions (I recall a recent one in which Canterlot merged with medieval Spain due to the author's inability to spell the word castle), it'd be perfectly suited to some insane, surreal art. Like Salvador Dali, but with more elves. =]

Here's an invisible dog to follow the untraceable kitten! I really like LOTR and Harry Potter as well.

Have an untraceable kitten! Just follow the meows... ;3

So you're from Kentucky? Join the (metaphorical) club. Here, have a recurve bow, with no arrows.

I hope you like this Umbridge punching bag. There is no better way to get rid of your anger then by punching Umbridge in the face.

What's OTGW? It sounds sort of intriguing.

Anyway, have a Gryffindor scarf, popcorn, and a magnifying glass that looks like the Lens of Truth!

And since 2011 every plover has been courtesy Fluttershy.

Please accept this elegantly crafted golden chain decoration for your hair. If you look closely, you'll spot all the links are inscribed with the word "friends". =]

I'm a newbie too! Welcome to the PPC and prepare for the craziness that awaits you!

You like Steven Universe and Homestuck too? Yay!

Here, have one of my own shed feathers, a working replica of the Gale Boomerang (because TLoZ:TP is my favorite Zelda game), and a Golden Snitch!

Have a +2 Sue bane speed shovel. It deals extra damage to Sues, and you can get an extra attack per round with it!

And yay! Another DC fan! Here have a replica of the One Ring that allows you call down a lighting on yourself by shoutin' "Shazam" (Sorry, no transformation.)

I recommend you to read spin-offs too!

Welcome to the Board. Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Guaranteed to contain at least 1% of all-natural premium quality dark matter.

FPS fan, eh? What are you into? CS:GO, TF2, Battlefield, CoD,Tactical Intervention or something else?

As a present, take this singing pocket zebra! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

Also, Kentucky? Neato! I'm from Indiana! Also, massive Harry Potter nut here. :) I also love Doctor Who, definitely my favorite show.

I see you've read the basics, very nice. Might I also point you to the Big Sib/ Little Sib page on the Wiki? I'm hoping to establish that soon.

Welcome aBoard, and hope you like it here!

One of the badfic authors I've sporked, has on their profile on ff.net that they are studying English at college and want to be an English teacher. And their fics are littered with grammatical errors and wrongly used words that would have been caught had they bothered to read their own text just once before posting.

My 12th grade AP English Lit teacher thinks Fifty Shades of Grey is the greatest literature ever and can't keep you're/your straight, so... I'd say I prefer yours.

Either the teacher is a bit young and excitable, they've had one cup of Sherry too many, or their Shift and 1 keys got stuck.

I believe you already have my email - though I'll be super busy 'til Friday, so if you wish to send your thing over then you may have to wait a few days. ^^;

Whether it'll be productive or not I haven't the fuzziest - I've the flu so I might not be overly coherent. My mail is sur DOT nhm AT gmail DOT com.

iomccoy(at)me(dot)com

...has of late been stricken by earthquakes. Aid from Baronies Neshomeh and Huinesoron has helped with the worst of the destruction.
I think there may have been an error in the original thread. Barony Neshomeh appears to be far away from this land. Shouldn’t the aid have come from the adjacent Baronies Phobos and Huinesoron? Or do these "earthquakes" refer to something I don’t get?

Also, the Poor Cynick appears to be a bit repetitive. He has wandered the lands of all of all four nations in the past.

"Lady Iximaz," — the Dark Civilian bowed — "I would like to give you some of the gold I have brought as payment for the delayed taxes; Baron Huinesoron and Baron Neshomeh had quarreled over my town.
Now that’s clearly an error. Before the new Barony Iximaz was formed, Critta-Kalthin was at the border of Baronies Huinesoron and Phobos.

she almost spat the words, thought that might have been a rattling cough talking
This should probably be "though".

HG

And it's a pairing I don't think has been done yet!

---

He sat and watched, like the Guardian of Forever... or possibly some manner of gargoyle. He felt like one. Mostly he felt neglected, when he could be bothered to feel anything at all. Such things were usually irrelevant, like names.

Typing was relevant, so he typed. Numbers in rows and columns soothed his temperament. The numbers were relevant. They had to be, or they would not be entered into his database. Things were in their proper places, and that was what he liked.

It was therefore something of a shock when one of the items talked back.

"Hello?"

"Hello," he typed back, a hrmm of confusion passing his lips. "I don't believe we've met."

"We've never talked but we see each other every day and I..." The string of characters trailed off for a bit. "I wanted to say hello."

"This you have said."

"I know! I'm just... working my way up to this. It's just, you've given me so much data, and, and... it can turn a girl's head."

Girl's, he thought. "Who is this?"

"It's... best if I just show you."

And from his computer screen stepped a stocky, rather chubby sort of woman with glowing skin and pure-white eyes.

"You're..."

"Yup. Microsoft made all us spreadsheet girls like this. Excel - XL. I think someone laughed at that in, like, 1988 or something."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Oh?"

He typed out a single word.

"Beautiful" appeared across the woman's chest.

"Oh."

She leaned in, and he pulled her down towards his waiting lips.

//

Several hours later, he came back from the kitchen. Excel pulled the blankets up around her out of reflex, but let them drop again. He was holding a crate of beer, and she giggled when she saw the name.

"Thought you might appreciate it."

Excel laughed aloud at that, and grabbed a can when he opened the box. "To us," she said.

"To us," replied the Nameless Admin.

---



And yes, you can get it in cans. =]

Yet another Huinesoron/Iximaz story.
------------------

"What do you go up and down on that has nothing but revealing black fabric on it?" Iximaz asked a very confused Huinesoron. Moments earlier she had run up to him and demanded the he come home with her. Without giving Huinesoron a chance to refuse she grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

"Are you coming on to me?" The muscular elf asked.

"Where would you ever get that silly idea from" replied Iximaz, "I just wanted to show you this!" She gestured behind her. Comprehension dawned on Huinesoron's face. In Iximaz's backyard was the largest, most magnificent trampoline he had ever set eyes on. And with that the two Of them climbed onto the trampoline and jumped to their heart's content.

if a bit late

Necessary info: Shippable with basically anyone, they/them pronouns please (or xe if it makes you more comfortable, but I prefer they/them).

I'll probably come up with some ships myself eventually, if I think of anything.

Cassie sat on the porch of her spacious villa, staring out over the plantation as she brushed her flowing golden locks. "Alas," she wailed, as a flock of cardinals leapt into the air. "Alas that I am here, alone and forsaken, far from the cities I should love to see!"

A rumble sounded, like distant thunder, though the sky was a pure and deep blue. Cassie frowned out at the horizon: was there a shadow over the verdant hills? "If there is," she declared, "it is no more than the shadow over my heart."

Yet the darkness was growing, encompassing the wide lands of her inheritance, until Cassie could no longer deny its reality. She squinted into the black void, and saw at its heart a foxfire twinkle, a gleam that seemed to fly faster than the wind.

Cassie started to her feet, her body tensing as fight-or-flight reflexes took over. The light was taking on form now: two vast wings spread over the darkened fields, throwing darkness and light alike forward with every slow-sweeping beat. "The creature - no, there can be no point denying it, the dragon - is magnificent," Cassie breathed.

The wind swept over Cassie, tangling her long blonde hair, whipping her white dress as it passed, but she cared not. Her eyes were locked on the descending form of the dragon, and the black-clad figure that sat astride its neck.

The dragon touched down, crushing a barn beneath its taloned foot. The rider bent low, whispering words of encouragement to it, then sat back up, looking down at Cassie. His armour was of jet and ebony and forge-wrought iron, and about his head there was a circlet of midnight pearl, set with black opals that glinted like trapped stars.

"Who are you?" Cassie called, leaning on the rail of her porch. "Oh noble, proud and fair one, please - tell this humble maiden your name; for if you will not, my life must end this instant for grief!"

The shadowy knight continued to observe her, his eyes like deep pits into the heart of time itself. Then he glanced away, as if - unthinkably - he were embarassed, and muttered something.

"Brave sir," Cassie called again, "my weak and womanly ears have betrayed me: I heard you not! Yet I must know your name, for with every beat of my racing heart I feel my love for you flooding through me!"

The knight's second mumble wasn't much better, but Cassie just managed to make out the word 'Voyd'. She smiled her most dazzling smile, and tossed her head, sending her gleaming hair cascading over her shoulder.

"Sir Voyd," she called, feeling a thrill run through her as she spoke his name, "what brings you to this lonely and forsaken place? But no!" She held up a hand, pressed it to her forehead. "Answer me not, for I know in my heart that you can be here for one reason alone - to rescue me from this idle existence, and whisk me away to a fairer and greater life in your powerful arms." With another gleaming smile, she blew a flurry of kisses at him, then stepped back onto her porch. "And I will go with you!" she declared, throwing her arms wide. "Let me gather but a few of my most treasured possessions, and we will ride away into the sunset together!"

As she ran through the door, she completely missed Voyd's nonplussed response. It went something like this:

"Mumble mumble neighbour, mutter mumble cup of sugar?"

---

I feel bad for Cassie, signing up so early and never getting written about. So here you go.

Why are you living in the US State of Georgia? Who knows? Who cares? Not I.

hS