Jan 2015 Archive, part b

Practically elderly.

Have my customary birthday Delibird! This Pokemon loves giving Presents, but beware: they have an 80% chance of being explosive!

Have a dessert pizza smothered in whatever sugary treats are your favorites.

Have some delicious chocolate pudding! Complete with a napkin and a cheap plastic spoon :)

Please accept this fine supply of a new product:

Bleeport, the new Bleeprin-laced synthetic fortified wine. Should you wish to forget the inevitable passage of time as the gases your body requires to function continue to burn said flesh from the inside, this will allow you to do so in a more refined manner, with a rich, plummy nose, a full body, the slow loss of feeling in any and all extremities, and an air of cultured nonchalance, sprezzatura if you will.

Now, I haven't tested this batch yet, but the last one didn't blow up for ages and even then I'm pretty sure I know what went wrong. Enjoy! =]

Have the Iximaz Birthday Song!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLOSE IN GOO!

*blows noisemakers*

"Old" is only a state of mind. Take it from this 27-year resident of this planet.

But as for your birthday gifts:

First of all, the customary Delibird! Being that you're a Pokémon fan, I won't bother you with the usual warning; you already know the drill.

Secondly, have a plushie of Lars Lion (the Pokémon, not the Bakugan)!

Happy birthday!

Here, have this festive packet of tea. Totally not predatory, I swear! Why are you looking at me like that?

And speaking as a 22-year-old... no. Not if you don't want to be. We are in the eyes of the law, but that just means we get to define what being over eighteen means. =]

Here, have the obligatory gift of one of my own shed feathers! Watch it, it's sharp!...

Hmm... I don't want to overdo the Iximaz Birthday Song... so take this bowl of freshly-made SPaGhetti! *blows noisemakers*

The first one was... eh, not that creepy in my opinion, but I don't get a lot of subtext when I read things.
The second one- oh Goddess, I was almost shaking. It was literally the scariest thing I've read since Parasite, and that's saying something. (Did I catch a Doctor Who reference there in paragraph 4?) Congratulations, and I can't believe you didn't win. Keep writing! Is all your stuff indexed somewhere that I can read?

I don't think I'm quite smart/knowledgeable enough to understand that first one. I think it's implying the artist made paint using human brains, and the paint produced imagination-born monsters?

I love the second one, though! The lead-in with the simple, common phrase as the title threw me way off-guard for what was coming. You did a fantastic job of communicating to the reader what was going on without ever explicitly stating it. The tone is horrifying, and you made excellent use of abusing the mechanics of writing to get the point across. Well done!

Thank you for the gift. Have you played the elder scrolls games? Even though I'm newer than you I will still give you a gift please enjoy this urple comic book holder. Also it is really cool that you are learning languages (I'm so jealous)

Have a barely-there kitten!

Hellos! Welcome a'Board!

For a welcoming present, I give you a paper mache replica of the Infinity Gauntlet. Have fun with it!

What would you say your favorite play or musical is? Have you seen many live or on Broadway?

Welcome to the PPC board! Here, have an urple colored fangirl translator.

As a present, have this chirping pocket bear! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

Anyway, welcome aBoard! Hope you like it here. :)

Have a box of white candles and matches! Perfect for power outages!

You're probably going to get a lot of newbie gifts, so here's a bottomless bag to store them. Don't worry it has pockets.

Translating sounds cool; what languages are you working on now?

I'm doing a lot of those this morning.

Anyway, have a +1 holy shovel! Best used against Evil!Sues.

Cool, a frenchman! I don't think we have any other french on the board. Glad to see you aboard!

Hatoful Boyfriend. Oh man, that is the strangest little universe I have ever seen. I can definitely see the appeal for it though. I don't think there is any badfic for it though, so that's good.

OOH, another pony fan! Cool! I am the proud owner of the only agents in the All-Purpose MLP Division! Sad to see you got board of it. Hard to think that anybody would not love Pinkie Pride though. Quick question, do you know who Weird Al is? If not, that might be part of why it was not absolutely amazing. Unless it was, and you were just tired of the show before then, and decided to stop despite the amazingness that was Pinkie Pride.

Hey man, don't worry, missions are not necessary to be a member of this community. Laugh, have a good time, and we are all good here!

So, a gift. I know you drifted away from the show, but every MLP fan gets one of these, so deal with it! You get your choice of any one small crystal statue of your favorite character from MLP:FiM. Be careful though, evil shadow kings may want to get their hooves on it!

Welcome to the Board, have a bottomless bag to hold whatever other gifts you've received. It does have pockets so you shouldn't lose anything small inside. I kind of fell off the MLP: FiM and Warriors fandoms too. Do you have any favorite Agents so far?

I am rather inactive recently, so hello. Have a virtual flying chicken.

...there's KSP fanfic? I'm a little bit scared now.

(If there's KSP fanfic and no Jeb / Bill slash, I will be deeply disappointed. Deeply. Disappointed.)

Hellos! Welcome to the site!

As a welcoming present, I give you a Hogwarts snowglobe that plays Hedwig's theme from the Harry Potter movies.

I used to love Code Lyoko, which is the only French series that I know of (and even then, only the American dub, so I'm not sure if that really counts or not). I think I heard something about them creating a live-action sequel- are you familiar with it?

KSP looks vaguely familiar, would you mind explaining it to me?

Also, have a replica of one of Mrs. Weasley's Christmas sweaters! (It's the one with the dragon on it)

That's... that is French, right? I am reliably informed that that's French. =]

Anyway, here (aside from the gift of a Large Pointy Thing with which to prod things you consider proddable) is a finely-crafted Corsica modded Civ for Civilization V:-

Download it here; the link will not eat your computer, I promise.

-Waves enthusiastically-
Greetings from the deserts! As a welcoming gift - aside from my standard offering of a cup of green tea (don't leat the leaves eat you!) - I'll give you this miniaturised camel.

Faites comme chez vous, je vous en prie.

Ah oui: votre cadeau de bienvenue. Voici une bouteille d'eau hydrophobe. C'est comme de l'eau, mais hydrophobe.

D'après vos intérêts littéraires je pense que vous allez vous intégrer très facilement ici, ne vous en faites pas. De plus, votre anglais est impeccable.

Question rapide: c'est comment, la Corse? J'ai toujours voulu y aller. La température est-elle agréable? Présentement au Canada on se gèle le cul nez; un petit changement de scène me ferait du bien en ce moment.

Comment allez-vous? J'adore Harry Potter et j'aime Rainbow Dash. :) Et toi?

Sorry, I only know a handful of French. Was that okay?

Anyway, welcome aBoard! Have a screeching fish encased in its own bubble of water! Sorry if its urple scales are overpowering. Hope you like it here!

Yep, fine by me. If I could take a look before you publish, though, I'd be much obliged. {= )

~Neshomeh

Four things we look for in Permission requests: community wossname, character, understanding of the PPC, and writing.

Community

Well, I can hardly say we don't know you! I'm still not entirely confident in your intentions, given statements like 'back to waiting and community-ing' which imply that you see interacting with the community as a hurdle on the way to getting Permission, rather than, y'know, the whole reason the Board is here, but I'll give you a tentative pass on this one.

Characters

Valon - Fairly inoffensive, really. Your samples represent the 'chaotic' aspect of his personality fairly well. Hopefully you'll also remember to keep track of 'poor fighter', rather than having him murder his way through the multiverse. The shovel I... don't really care about either way? It's good if you use it well, pointless if you just give him guns instead/let Kala do the fighting. It depends how you write it.

One thing: hi there, mostly-accurate description of my own colour-blindness! Are you colour-blind yourself? If so, or if you've talked to someone to get the details, fine. If not, from personal experience I'd say that Valon would probably see urple as pink, not purple; purple is pretty much a non-colour for me, with pink running straight into blue. It's mostly etymology at that point, but I thought I'd mention. (Also, please remember that brown is a shade of yellow, so yellow-lime green is just as indistinct as brown-dark green)

Kala - On appearance, the Romani/Roma ethnic type tends to be somewhat darker than you've drawn her. They also tend towards dark hair, so I'm curious as to why she dyes (or bleaches) hers. Cultural conflict, or just felt like it?

I'm not really seeing the characteristics in her bio carried over to the samples. Sadonic, irritable, troublemaker? The only one that comes across is irritable, and that only around the Marquis. Valon sexually assaults her and accuses her of a crime she didn't commit, and she takes both of them really calmly. It doesn't really gel with how I'd imagine 'has been transferred out of three different homes' would leave you.

Purely from her bio, though, she seems okay. I'm trusting that you know the canon well enough to not have anything unrealistic from that angle.

PPC understanding

Ehh... yeah, fine. Nothing coming up as 'wait, that's not the PPC'. I don't think Makes-Things would just shove her into the Marquis' office without a word, and I'm certain the Marquis would recognise him, but fine. Equally, the Marquis doesn't sit - he's a giant Daisy - but again, that's a 'little details' sort of thing that a beta should catch, and/or you could tweak after publication (which is a thing that we shouldn't be afraid of). The idea of the Marquis checking the Words around a recruit for her details is new as far as I know, but I quite like it.

As to the RC decor... okay, that's weird, but it's weird in an interesting way. Again, though, make sure you don't forget about it. (And... why is there chicken in the walls?)

Oh, yeah: 'ZEEN!'? That's not a normal console noise. Unless you've got an explanation, it'd be best to change that back.

Writing

The big one. Okay:
-Spelling, punctuation, grammar - check.
-Sueish characters - uncheck (which is good).
-Consistent characters - mostly check (see the comments about Kala above)
-Writing style - ... writing style. Yeah.

I have to agree with TheShyIon here - it's trying too hard. Comments like 'What did you think would happen?' or 'You might be surprised by which one was the first to turn bright red and scream.' are basically highlighting the humour, which you don't need to if it's funny. A simple 'naturally, the device was broken on impact' works just fine.

Equally (and still on the 'trying too hard' front), you've got some pretty overwrought descriptive phrases. 'Valon heard the girtablilu speak, and grinned'? We can tell from the fact that he's replying to her that he heard her speak. Two paragraphs above, everything up to 'Kala just stood there' is redundant: we can see from the description of his rambles that it's confusing and impossible to keep up with.

What this comes down to is that your writing is a really good example of the conflict in 'show, don't tell'. You're currently doing both: telling, then showing. And you don't need to; the showing is fine by itself. We, the readers, are capable of spotting why it's funny that Valin jumps away first, without you highlighting it. We're capable of understanding that someone going on about the Magic School Bus is funny and confusing. And yes, there are a lot of other examples of the same thing.

On the other hand... your second sample barely does any of this, and you actually allow the dialogue to take centre-stage (though, still, we can guess from "... what?" that Kala looked confused, and with only two characters we can keep track of who's speaking). So I'm wondering whether you were trying to show off too much of the details in the first story.

Eh.

Ehh.

Ehhhhhhh I hate making decisions. This is why I didn't want to be a Permission Giver.

Arright, fine. I'm going to put a bit of faith in you and say Permission Granted. Please, please take on board everything I've said here, and everything that's been said to you before, and use it to continually improve your writing.

(Also, given that both eatpraylove and SkarmorySilver offered to beta for you previously, and both provided their emails, I've got no idea why you didn't email them rather than asking twice more. It's quite rude to ignore someone's offer like that, really)

hS

It feels a like it's trying a little too hard to be funny. I struggle with the proper balance too, and may have a different tolerance than others, but the saying "less is more" would apply, I think.

(That sentence has too many commas. >_
Also, while occasionally calling the Marquis the Daisy isn't too jarring, the Daisy is a different Flower.

In this thread, you asked for advice on Song of Ice and Fire minis. I pointed out that quarantine means 'don't use anything', and VixenMage and Neshomeh explained that even if that weren't the situation, naming the mini-type is something left to the OFU writer (which there isn't one, and can't be), or the first person to write a mission there (which there aren't any).

With all that being the case... why have you given Valon a Song of Ice and Fire mini?

(Not commenting on Permission either way in this post, I want to resolve this question first. Also, it's a genuine question; please don't respond with 'okay fine I'll remove it' or somesuch, but with an actual explanation as to what it's doing there. Thanks)

hS

Have a Mewtwonite Y and a +1 shovel!

And ever since 2011, all plovers are courtesy Fluttershy.

Here, have one of my shed feathers (careful, it's sharp!) and a replica of Anaklusmos/Riptide! Glad to see another MLP and Percy Jackson fan!

And I see that both Iximaz and eatpraylove have sent their greetings already, so yeah, I might as well. I loved your first mission with Marvin and Printworthy, and I've been wondering when you'd do more with those two!

And best of luck with your collab with Iximaz! Given how things are going with the one I'm doing with her, I'm sure it'll be AWESOME! /)^3^(\

Have an unseen kitten. Don't worry, it's a Siamese. Just follow the meowing. :3

*high-fives* Well, Tawaki's been popping in lately to deliver LotR badfic and offer advice. There's also a big New Year Chat thread that's probably buried by now, and a gift exchange event running on the other board.

Iximaz has definitely been busy: she released three or four missions while you were gone, mostly in Harry Potter. I released my first mission to overall positive reviews, and my one-time coauthor SkarmorySilver released the first one under his new DMS team (but someone probably told you about that already).

Good luck with that thing you and Iximaz are doing! :)

It might sound weird if I say this, but dayum, I missed ya! *offers rainbow cupcakes and SPaGhetti*

Well, since you last showed up, I got several more missions out and am currently working on a collab with SkarmorySilver... were you around when he showed up? I can't remember... >
We had quite a few newbies recently, two birthdays, and a big New Year's celebration, too. And now my long-term memory fails me. ^^'

Good to have you back!

Here, have some Lorelei tea. Not predatory, I promise.

Have a Charizardite Y and a +1 vorpal shovel! (I like DnD/Pathfinder)

Please accept this fine chased-silver mechanical pencil... and the ammunition for it. Simply twist the clip at the top through a full 360 degrees, unscrew the cap, load, and fire by clicking the top like so-

*small bang*

Ah. I appear to have shot off one of my own toes. Whoops.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Hope you have fun here!

Hello and welcome aBoard! Here, take this... Uh...
*searches inside his bottomless bag*
Here, take this bottle of soda. It's... Urple-flavoured? It can't be that bad, right?

Have one of my own shed feathers (watch it, it's sharp!) and a replica of the Golden Snitch with a Poké Ball engraving!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! Please leave your sanity at the ford; it will be quickly desposed of. As a gift, please take this honking armadillo! If the urple bow on its tail becomes too overwhelming, feel free to remove it.

Hope you enjoy it here!

Welcome to the PPC! You should be in for a wild ride.

An Aussie, huh? Cool! I am from the other end of the earth, Alaska! I hope your summer is going a whole lot better then my winter. I can only barely call it winter! But, that's another topic for another day.

Nice, and Elder Scrolls fan! What games have you played? I've made it though all of Oblivion, most of Skyrim, and some of Morrowind.

Oh, I'm supposed to give a gift of some format. Hmm... Oh, I know! Tell me what your favorite Daedric Prince is, and I will give you an artifact associated with them! (Nothing as cool as the Wabbajack or Dawnbreaker, sadly. Lesser-known artifacts.)

I'm relatively new here too, my gift to you is Chillrend. Hope you have fun here

Have a signed portrait of Sheogorath! (Don't ask me how I got it.)

*glomps*

Have a ghostly kitten!

This actually hit me kind of hard. I hadn't stopped to think about how the adaptation's changes would affect Legolas as a character. I mean, I see it as two different versions of him from two different Middle-earths, but . . . it was still an interesting examination of how it might have affected him. I'm still glad you ended it on a lighter note, though.

Some possible titles:

"An Unexpected Adaptation"

"The Desolation of Jackson"

"The Battle of the Two Backstories"

"A Change in the Stars"

—doctorlit will eventually read the original OFUM, probably

I didn’t watch the second and third Hobbit movies, so I can’t judge the identity crises, but i think you got the OFUM spot on.

Nitpick:
"I thought Thundera Tiger was doubling his mini quota until the movie aftermath subsided?"
Thundera Tiger is female. In the next sentence, Gimli correctly refers to her as "She".
(I always think of her as "Thundera Tigress", but obviously my memory serves me wrong.)

HG

I wasn't aware elves could have identity crises. You wrote Legolas' really well, by the way. *applauds* Also, nice to hear Lina and Gimli are doing well. :)

It's nice to see the OFUM again, even if it's an unauthorized appearance. ;) As for Legolas having his identity crisis... *moves to offer hug before realizing that's probably not a good idea* *offers booze instead* Poor guy's had a hard enough time in fanfiction, but it seems like the abuse will never end.

Well done, hS, and I apologize for a lack of sacrificial titles.

Beginning with the entries on Claimed that need to go to Killed Badfic, and ending with things that go to Unclaimed/the ether. Please do NOT EDIT those pages until I post the all clear!

Actually it was already on 'Claimed', I just hadn't removed it. Cleared from Claimed now, and a note added in the 'Posting a mission' How-To guide.

hS

I'll get on it tomorrow, promise.

Not sure when I claimed "This is not the Renaissance Festival" and "Son of Chaos Book One" But on the off chance I claimed them before July 2013 I'm renewing my claims on both (and swearing that I will get a mission out this year).

The Wobbles and Notary PPC Power Hour will return... whenever I can finally write the thing. Until that time, I'm claiming the fic. =]

Congratulations, getting a book published is amazing! Did you do it yourself or through a publisher?

Initially seeing it my brain went to Diana Wynne Jones's "Tough Guide to Fantasyland" but this looks more analytical.

I shall see if it's available to buy here in the land of tea and rain and other such stereotypes and buy a copy if so. :)

I really wanna buy it now :D

Will there be an e-book version? The print version might be difficult to get a hold of for us non-US residents.

More stuff for my ever-lengthening reading list.

The book looks absolutely great I'm totally going to order it.

I pre-ordered too! Can't wait to read it!

PPCers steppin' on up in the literary world. Ah, yes!

Congrats, Kippur!

I ordered it a while back, after you originally mentioned it, so hopefully it'll ship soon and you'll get some money. I look forward to reading it! ^_^

~Neshomeh, happy to support fellow PPCers.

Tungsten Monk tipped me off to the existence of the album Wintersmith by Steeleye Span. I am enjoying it very much, and I hope you do, too! ^_^

~Neshomeh

I knew it was underway. but had somehow missed the fact that it is now here. I'll give it a listen when I come home.

A quick test proves that it does work for me here in the States, so yay! ^_^

~Neshomeh

Thank you kindly!

A very creative way to kill a fairly mediocre fic. Well done, fun to read!

So... does this mean we need to start worrying about the various ex-Sues and Replacements in the PPC? If one of them gets into a relationship - even a temporary one - with an 'abnormal' agent, and they come into contact with glitter, we could see Reason #43 Cascades springing up across HQ. I realise we haven't before, but that doesn't mean anything where Legal are involved.

Hmmm... I don't think Constance was a Maglor fangirl, so she should be safe. Can't think of any other ex-badfic characters in my works. I'd worry about Sergio Turbo and Nikki Cherryflower, though... looks like Sergio might even have the slightly 'abnormal' anatomy needed to pull it off.

As for Morgan's reaction, it goes something like this.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

Pause for breath.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

Reader, have we forwarded a copy to the Guardsman and Ceka? Good. And can we see about informing HQ's former Replacements what they need to look out for? Great, thanks. Where was I? Oh yes.

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

hS

Yay! Two of my favorite things in the multiverse together: Frozen and a Time Lord!! XD

I love the characterizations of both The Fisherman and Evie, I actually did read all the previous missions and interludes, before reading this current mission, to familiariaze me with the characters; so I'm definitively following this spin-off.

It's especially funny because I used to love the ever-loving shiitake mushrooms out of that movie, and I was wondering how long it would be before somebody tried tackling badfic of it. Though objectively I now feel that there are better-written flicks out there, I personally think it's not the worst thing Disney has to offer - it's just so overrated it's not even funny. *shudders at the memory of all the Olaf merchandise I see at, oh, every single store ever*

Opinions aside, though, it was about time that Evie and Fish did a new mission. I personally like the original lyrics of 'Let It Go' better, and man, I feel sorry for the Fisherman after what happened. The paper describing the new affliction was pretty funny, though.

And seeing as you've come back, have one of my own shed feathers as a gift both for your return and your mission! Careful, it's pretty, uh, sharp...

And, uh... is Elsa one of the Fisherman's LOs?

I can understand, Elsa is drop-dead gorgeous, but I half-thought most Time Lords didn't do the whole romance/lust thing.

I guess it's just the Doctor who's celibate/chaste/asexual/other-thing-that-precludes-sexual-relations?

Who I mainly know from the Melty Mission, but they're awesome. And this mission was even better than the Melty Mission.

I suppose that this is a sign that the Time Lords shouldn't eat the Suefflé? ^_~

Nice job on the mission/Medical report! Is it any of my business why you dropped off the radar for a while?

I love reading the Fisherman, and seeing what happens to him at the end was absolutely priceless. I also like his optimism in the face of canon butchering - though I'm surprised he didn't make the leap that Elsa's ability to create sentient life might actually be hijacking sentient beings from parallel universes and shoving their consciousnesses in ice sculptures-

Oh. That's... that's a bit dark for him, now that I say it out loud. Ignore me then.

Also:

---

The strange, unnatural, wheezy-sounding noise billowed out from RC 1875 like a cloud of mustard gas. Its cause was a video, currently playing on the ruggedized Control Panel bolted securely to the room's wall. Wobbles had a quick look inside, saw the Notary with tears streaming down her face and rolling on the floor, assumed there wasn't a medical emergency, and bounced in.

"Heya, Agent Holy See! Glad to see you've cheered up!"

The Notary just pointed at the screen before collapsing into gales of something I will call, for lack of a better option, laughter. Somewhere in the distance a glass shattered.

"Huh. Oooh, did he get Suviated? Wowzers. That's... that's a class 4 FGE at least, goodness golly gracious, I had one of them once time and it was just the worst. I wonder if they voltage-calmed him - nope, nope, just the happy juice. Say, I've got an errand to run, so, uh, you okay down there?"

There was something that sounded like a hoover struggling manfully against the attentions of a lascivious pufferfish, so Wobbles just strolled out of the room again, heading down to the A/V Department. It was a fairly long walk, since she'd been banned from using the lifts on account of her condition, but hey, it was good exercise, right? She got there eventually. It wasn't like there was any rush.

"Heya, gangeroos!"

"Hi, Wobbles," chorused the various techies. "What do you need? Can we have the scripts for the next week's Wobblevision?"

"No. Well, uh, maybe. I... kinda need a favour, please don't tell Adam, I'd never hear the gosh-darn-diddly end of it. See, there's this video..."

A few minutes of negotiation and some hastily transferred scripts later, the technicians got to work, and Wobbles bounced out the room just in time to see the video of her roomie's encounter with herself that one time play over the broadcast screens dotted around Headquarters.

"It's not nice to laugh at the misfortune of others, is it?"

---

Yes, Wobbles is kind of a douche.

Although I don’t even know the canon – besides vague childhood memories of a Snow Queen fairy tale that doesn’t exactly match – I can see why this had to be done.

HG

The Doctor-Level-Crazy Time Lord and Sort-Of-Humanized GLaDOS never fail to provide enternaiment. Man, I missed those two.

While short, it was a really interesting mission - also proof that you must not kill the Dummy first. You portrayal of a Lusted out Agent was really good, too!

I very much enjoyed this, especially the Fisherman having to fight off the Suefluence. Shame it didn't quite work out.

Just one tiny nitpick: As an agent of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby charged with

I think it would be a bit clearer if you said "As an agent of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, I hereby charge you with". The way it is now makes it sound like not!Elsa is an agent. ;)

Other than that, well done, and the Medical report also got a giggle out of me.

It's a real shame you didn't get to sit with the people you, uh, flew across 2/3 of a continent to see. :( But at least you got to talk to them afterwards. Having met both of them, I can confirm that they're really cool people!

Also:

It worked out well, because I don't talk much, and FractalDawn talks a whole lot!

Yep. In the nicest possible way. ^_~

I got an excellent review/lesson in Tolkien, and all the ways Jackson changed things.

That does not surprise me in the least. Did she have charts? I'm betting she had charts.

hS

If anything, it gave me a sneak peek at what travelling on my own (hopefully) next year will be like. So, thanks! :P

That kind of sucks that you didn't get to spend much time with Aeraph and Fractal. Still, I'm jealous you're able to travel.

Here's a bag of holding to store your other newbie gifts so they won't get lost/try to kill you. It has pockets so you shouldn't get anything lost inside.

You've already gone through favorite fandoms, so do you have any favorite Agents or Missions?

Glad to have you! For your newbie gift, take this Random Tool Generator. I don't know what it could be used for, but it certainly sounds interesting!

Welcome to the PPC board!. You actually might find out we are the most sane people out there in the world of fanfiction. I mean, try comparing us to your average fangirl... Here, have a broom stick that throws you off every five minutes. ;)

Please accept this finely-crafted wilver Suehair cape, guaranteed to deflect any and all criticisms of character.

*may not actually be guaranteed offer void where prohibited or where eldritch*

Anyway, welcome to the Board and we hope you enjoy your stay. =]

Hello, and welcome aBoard! As a newbie gift, take this humming urple wide-mouthed tree frog! If you ever feel the need to look directly at it, use sunglasses.

I hope you like it here! :D

From that name I guess you have at least some knowledge of Roman history?

Have one of my own shed feathers, a replica Golden Snitch, and a remote-controlled model Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor!

Have a +1 shovel!

Have a stealth-field-producing kitten!

I also tried to read LOTR a few years ago. I managed to read Fellowship, but I then lost my book. Yes, book, it was a full text version. Basically a brick. Don't ask how I managed to lose it, I don't even know.

So, uh... Oh, yeah, gifts. I found this bottle of soda in my Bag. You should probably put it in the fridge for a while if you want to drink it... Be careful, though, it literally tastes like urple.

International exchange? That sounds fun! What were you doing in India?

Also, your newbie gift is a box of movie-theater popcorn, to eat while you read the Original Series and Constitution!

Cause I think I know enough about Minecraft "canon" to be useful. (If by "canon" you mean "what can and can't feasibly be constructed in-game")

However, I'm going to be at a convention for the next few days and may be indisposed. So I may or may not be useful.

It's skarmorysilver at gmail dot com, with punctuation subbed as appropriate.

Here's a bottomless bag to store all your other gifts. It has pockets, so you shouldn't lose anything inside.

Have your choice of Starter Pokemon!

Welcome to the PPC! Here, have an insubstantial kitten. (Is re-gifting rude?)

Hello it's lovely to meet you. For your gift I will give you an urple sword

Have a replica of Kristoff's hat!

I'm not sure if this thread would be the most correct one to make some questions to those who are better versed than me in the Tolkienverse, but here goes:

How much of a breach in canon would be a reddish-blonde-haired, green-eyed elf? Could be justified? And if is a big breach and cannot be justified; how can the character be twisted to conform to canon?

I kid, of course. Welcome to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum! Have a +1 shovel.

Please take this ur-- Uh, no, wait, that one's different.
Here, take this bottle of wilver-flavoured soda. Yes, flavoured. I'm sure it's gonna be surprisingly delicious... Right?

Have some pokes, and a supernaturally stealthy kitten.

Welcome aBoard! Please leave your sanity by the door; it will be desposed of shortly. As a newbie gift, please take this chirping pocket reindeer! If the urple bows on its antlers become too overpowering, feel free to remove them.

Hope you like it here! :D

Have one of my own shed feathers, a Fire Ferret with a gildver collar, and a scientifically accurate Rhamphorynchus!

Welcome aboard! Please accept this fourteenth-century Chinese missile launcher as a welcome gift. Its name is "Mister Facing-both-ways rocket arrow firing basket".

I am not making this up.

Like I said when beta-reading this, I'm kinda glad you picked something pretty short to work with. If I had to pick a favorite part, it would definitely be the death of the replacement. A dramatic fight scene would only put the agents on the losing side, and special note goes to this instance because of how powerful Prototype characters usually are. Using Suu to get rid of him was so unexpected that it just works, for both the agents and the readers.

And just FYI, I'd actually be interested in a collab with you sometime. Given how my research is, though, well...

"Most people would have gone pale as well, but Valon’s face is already so bloodless that one could hardly tell."
Should that not be "Most people would have gone pale as well, but Valon’s face was already so bloodless that one could hardly tell."?
Otherwise, good story.

Valon took a moment to understood what was happening.
I’m not a native speaker, but shouldn’t this be "Valon took a moment to understand what was happening" (infinitive, not past tense)?

This was fun to read, although I, not knowing either of the canons involved, was struggling to understand what’s going on there.

HG

Two nitpicks, though:

First:

It’s ‘My name is Alex Mercer,’ you kinda left something out.
That comma in the middle should be a semicolon, and thus placed outside of the single quotes.

Scond:
Why is "nuking Manhatten" a separate mini from "Manhattan"? In both cases, the misspelling is only of "Manhattan," right?

See if you can catch the hidden Game of Thrones reference.

Since when do consoles go ZEEN! ? I thought they beeped.

It was a rather enjoyable reading, the only thing that hampered a little my enjoyment was that fact that I know absolutely nothing of both continuua; I do love the characterization of the agents though.

Also, for some reason my mind kept relating the name "Alex Mercer" with a certain psycho from Skyrim...

But I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised; you said when you reported it that you really wanted this to die. Congratulations, and I hope we can work together in the future! *tosses confetti*

I'm not familiar with either canon (being one of those foetid nightmare beasts who only play weird, dirt cheap indie titles dug out from the depths of Desura), but the agents seemed pretty enjoyable and your knowledge base is obviously sound. I also rather liked Kala's motivation for joining the PPC.

All in all, off to a pretty good start! =]

It didn't have the stiltedness of your first Permission Prompt, which vastly improved the quality. The flow was good. The person I'd suggest a Crash Dummy for a second-person fic, but I've been told that's optional. The only thing I'm confused about is why Discworld-Death showed up. (Also, there's an errorbox in the middle of "of.")

All in all, I'm looking forward to seeing more of these agents! :)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10075462/1/A-Secret-Past

I'm sorry, but... what? Like the Dragon!Sue fic I found, the amount of research put into this is astounding considering how ridiculous the premise is. This author knows Abraxas Malfoy and Orion Black, who are referenced obliquely at best in the main series.

Oh, and somehow Hermione Granger– sorry, "Kenna Gaunt" is the sister of Lucius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Augustus Rookwood, and the Lestrange brothers.

And she has four dads.

What.

(I hate using quotation marks for emphasis, but I don't know the markup for this place)

Wait, what? I don't know the fandom but an underage porn star is... @%#@#$^@@^%@#%^%#%$!!!!!

Have a +5 holy shovel. I'm not touching a fic with THAT title.

By the gods... What was (or is) this Suethor thinking!? An underage porn star... I.. don't even... Arrrrgh! AND HOW DARES TO DO THAT IN THE PERCY JACKSON-VERSE!!!! AAARRRRRR-----

*Message: Sorry, we are having technical difficulties sending the message.*

Uff... Uff.. Sorry about that. Welcome to the board! Here have a Ring of Power Without Power as a welcome gift.

Have you considered introducing your self to the board?

Also, hi newbie! Your gifts are a bottle of hand sanitizer (just in case, y'know) and a snowglobe with a lighthouse in it!

Oh, hello! If you're new, welcome to the Board. Have this Steam-Powered Gazelle as a gift! It enjoys nuts, bolts, and getting caught in the rain during beach walks.

If so, have this freshly-made plate of SPaGhetti and a chirping urple snake!

Sorry I missed you before. Ah well, all good now.

Now, what do I have in my little bag of tricks? Hmm, let's see... No... no... Most certainly not... Aha! Here we are, a Pegasus feather. Lighter than air, and strong as steel, this feather has some latent magic still within it. If you focus really hard, you might hover a centimeter off the ground!

Here, have a bottomless bag to hold whatever other Board gifts you get. It does have pockets so you shouldn't lose anything inside.

You mentioned slash; any particular fandoms you follow?

Hello and welcome to the PPC! One of my fellow Boarders has already pointed you to the Wiki and Constitution, so as for my newbie gift, have a Smeargle!

BTW: here on the Board, please try to use proper grammar and spelling. We aren't grammar Nazis here, but we do try to emulate good writing on the Board as well as on missions.

Hello and welcome to The Board. Hope you enjoy it here. For my gift I will give you a blello sword.

Hello again, and welcome once more! It's always nice to see a newbie, and it's nice to hear that you've already found some missions. I would recommend going to the Wiki and brushing up on the rules and canon of the PPC when you can, especially regarding Permission. There's a link to the while thing at the top of the Board. Glad to have you with the community, and looking forward to what you may have to offer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c57VU6SyvU

Mentions a bunch of fandoms, but no spoilers! I promise!

Aside from mixing up a lemon and a slashfic (though I think I've seen people describe pairings in general as "Character-slash-character" so maybe that's where they got it), all of the yes.

That was absolutely hilarious I love these animations.

Well, that certainly was descriptive. I wanted to take a flame thrower to the computer screen. ._.

That really was great; I couldn't stop laughing!

Trough they called a het fic a slash fic.

It's great that you're excited about this, but I'm a little uncomfortable with your looking to deliberately find minis just because. As the Mini page on the wiki says:

The creation of new mini types is reserved for either a) the creator of the OFU in that continuum, or b) if there is no OFU, the first person to write about them in a mission to that continuum. The reason for this is that, while it's fun to dream up mini types, it isn't fair to the people actually writing in a new continuum if the perks of doing so are gone when they get there.

You should be writing missions because you can make something entertaining out of the original badfic, not out of some desire to "catch 'em all."

Welcome to the PPC! Sorry about being a little late, I had university things to attend to.

Ah, a Percy Jackson fan! Cool. I shall give you a goblet from Camp Half-Blood. Yes, it can still fill with whatever drink you ask it to. Just, don't try anything alcoholic. Dionysus would throw a fit if a mortal could summon alcohol, and he could not.

Have a Ravenclaw scarf, a model of Finnick's trident (Finnick's the trident guy, right?) and some movie-theater popcorn (to eat while reading the Original Series)!

I've been here before... But I don't quite remember what name I used to go by and you probably wouldn't remember me. That was around 3-5 years ago and I only lasted for a week then, so I still think of myself as newbie.
Just thought you should know. I hope It's alright.

A +4 holy shovel, to be precise.

Here, have some lemon cake.

Welcome to the PPC board! Here, have a garbage can lid that turns into a shield. Feel free to remove the urple paint.

Have a bottomless bag to store your other gifts--it comes equipped with pockets so you shouldn't lose anything inside.

We're pretty scattered--somewhere on the Board is this thread with a map everyone's put their approximate location--but not a lot of people from Asia. Any particular Anime/Manga you're into right now?

Welcome aboard!!! ARRRRRRR!!!!

Here mate, have a Ring of Power Without Power!!!

Here, have one of my own shed feathers, along with a replica of Riptide and a live mockingjay!
And it's a bit rare that we get people from Asia around here, I've noticed. Granted, my parents moved to America from Indonesia, but still...

Hello welcome to the board. For my gift to you, you can have a wilver sword.

Welcome aBoard! I can also confirm that time zone differences don't seem to cause any problems here, so, don't worry about that.

Here, take this bottle of urple-flavoured soda. And this one is glitter-free! It's my last one, though... I'm not sure where -and if- I should get more.

Anyway, hi, hello, welcome aBoard! For your present, please accept this ribbiting pocket beluga whale, complete with a self-sustaining floating ball of water! If the urple bow tied to its tail becomes too overpowering, feel free to remove it.

Harry Potter and Percy Jackson? Nice! *high fives*

And like hS- Huinesoron goes by hS for short- said, time difference doesn't matter here, it's great!

Yay, I got first poke. ^_^

Anyway, hi! Welcome to the PPC. You shouldn't find the time difference a problem on the Board - we're scattered all over the world as it is, so don't go expecting real-time conversations. You might have more difficulty if you venture into the IRC, but I don't know much about that.

I'm not sure I recall anyone coming in through IAHF before... fun. I assume you've read Lily's missions, then? Have you gotten through The Original Series yet?

(And while I'm here, I'll point you back at the Board's header for completeness' sake: read the Constitution if you haven't already, read the FAQs if you have questions, blah blah blah)

Anyhow, welcome! Have fun. ;)

hS

(PS: Has anyone else noticed how ridiculous it is that we don't link to a way to find PPC stories to read - on the PPC Board? Off to update the header now to work it in... eesh)

Tawaki, Lily, Karen, Dawn, I have specific comments directed at the four of you (mostly lines for your approval, which I've had to add to make scenes flow). hermione of vulcan, I don't think there's anything specifically about Gloria, but please come and make sure I haven't messed anything up.

hS

I did a full edit-run over Chapter 1, but stopped to let DawnFire sort out the punctuation across the whole thing. I don't know if that ever happened... I'll take a look.

No, it looks like not. Okay, I'm going through and doing that, then.

Current Status

Chapter 1 is COMPLETE as far as I'm concerned. Everyone involved should go look at it, and comment if they think anything needs changing. Don't go adding things in - it's just going to confuse us all (more than we already are ^_~).

Chapter 2 is the one I'm currently poking at. What I'm doing is standardising the punctuation, and editing for consistency. Jokes which have lost their references through too many interjections will be tweaked, and narrative passages which don't need to be there, or are too long, will be removed. Anything more complex than that, I'll comment rather than adding/deleting.

Once I've finished #2, I'll move onto #3, and so on and so on. Though no promises as to when...

hS

How does one discriminate between a high school AU-friendly continua and a high school AU-unfriendly continua? Are there any hard and fast rules? Or is it just: "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it?"

The division is very specific, but would still see a lot of action.

Maybe it's because I was homeschooled and never experienced high school, but why would you even want to put characters from a non-high school setting into what you, the teenage author, probably experience every day? I mean, aside from inserting yourself more easily and acting out cathartic versions of events in your life . . . okay, that might be a reason for some of them.

This exists.

But I specified on her page that Ami has apiphobia (fear of bees/wasps/hornets), so that might come into play at some point. Anybody know any good insect-themed Sues?

(I also want to work in Ami's social anxiety/sensory issues, which are super important to me/her.)

Imagine a Sue that can fly or has a flying mount.

And can can reach stratospheric heights.

These three certainly deserve the Hat Of Permission Giving.

As one of the permanent lurkers, I'm not sure how much my opinion counts fore, but I think y'all would make great PGs.

Desdendelle and PoorCynic were the second and the third person who came to mind. If I had not been dragged away from this thread and returned only right now, I would certainly have nominated them – although I couldn’t have explained the reasons as good as others did here. I also thought about doctorlit, but somehow I felt that he shouldn’t be nominated.

Should I worry that these weird Empathic Powers make me a Gary Stu?

HG, supporting all nominations.

After all, I've brought this up to both you and Nesh for awhile as a percieved need. I'm far for having a new set of PGs around.

For what it's worth, I'm definitely for having new PGs who've been around and have an excellent grasp of the community these days; I've fallen kind of out of things just due to having left for well over a year and then being busy these days fighting for justice.

That said, I personally agree heavily with the choices of PoorCynic, Iximaz, and Desdendelle as our next Permission Givers.

...I, Skaer'morys the Silver, hereby nominate Lady Iximaz and PoorCynick as well! I choose the former for her spirit and bravery, as evidenced in our ongoing quest to train my newly acquired decadent proto-bird, Velociripper. And I choose the latter for his wonderful use of constructive criticism and analysis of technique, which has helped me bring to heel two other recent acquisitions - the flesh-eating pegasus, Rayner, and the demonic entity, E.V.L.

Getting back to seriousness, I'd also like to nominate doctorlit, but he's politely refused, so I'll also throw in Desdendelle for his help with my first mission and call it an answer.

That was only, like, 6 years ago. Had a different name back then, of course.

Anyway, I have been thinking that we needed to have this discussion. I know that I am not as active as I could be, for a variety of reasons (a major one being that Nesh has primary custody of our sole working computer).

I don't have any nominations to add, at the moment, but I will think about it.

-Phobos

She has proven herself time and time again, in both strength and heart. Her missions against the dread Marizu have brought much fortune and favor to these lands. She has conducted herself honorably in battle, and charitable at home. She has given much joy to the citizens of Plort over these many months, by sharing her wealth and wit with the people of Plort. Truly, is there any other more worthy of rising to Baron? Neigh, I think not.

Should the Barons find Lady Iximaz fit to stand amongst them, I shall pledge my sword to her service; to settle her lands, and defend her honor. And, naturally, slay Marizu.

I blame Real Life—I accepted a leadership role I shouldn't have, it's been a source of a lot of stress, and as a result I've been feeling fairly allergic to anything that resembles committees and small-group politics. The good news is that my term is up this spring and I am so outta there. {= D

I've been against starting this discussion at all for the above reason, but now that it's started... I'm not against the idea of new PGs. I don't know if we need them, but as others have pointed out, new blood and representation of newer generations of Boarders is probably a good idea.

To that end, I fully support the nomination of Iximaz, and I also nominate PoorCynic and doctorlit. They've both been around a good while, they know what's what, and they have shown themselves to be leaders in the community, IMO. (Sorry, hS, but I'm pretty sure we lead by example, if nothing else, what with PGs needing to be knowledgeable, trustworthy, active, good at what we do, etc.) In addition to writing great spin-offs, PC and doclit are some of the best reviewers we've got, PC has his excellent series of workshops, and doclit has done great work on the wiki and in preserving old PPC works for posterity. Plus they're just good guys, which is at least as important as all the rest put together. {= )

So there's that, if they accept and we go ahead with this.

~Neshomeh

After all, I think that since they handle, well, Permissions there is no such thing as too many of them.

Also because, well, lately all or nearly all Permission Requests have been handled by you, Nesh or Phobos as you say. So yeah, I think we can use more.

About who... I... urgh. Have no idea, sincerely. (And that's kinda embarassing since I qualify as an oldbye. Whoops.)

There’s a revolution at hand. Shall some Barons be overthrown? Shall we defend status quo with our lives? Will there be a civil war?

I don’t need a bloody revolution.

But if the Barons are willing to give some of their power and their territories to a new Baroness, or if we, the Knights and Civilians of Plort, can wrestle some land out of their hands without too much bloodshed, then I support the nomination of the Lady Iximaz.

Hieronymus the Hermit

Well, on the one hand, it might be nice to have some new blood. On the other, you guys have been PGers since the dawn of time, so everyone trusts your judgement. And I know you said it isn't a status thing, but you do make the decisions about who gets to contribute to our canon, which is kind of a big deal.

Like you said, we haven't had so many Permission Requests that you couldn't keep up, but what if there was a sudden influx in the future?

I'll tentatively say adding someone is a good idea, but... well, I'm not entirely sure who I'd like to nominate. Could I come back to that?

I mean, if you've got a character replacement, it's essentially an original character pretending to be a canon character. There's nothing stopping it from being as uncanonical and illogical as any other bad OC. I dunno why it would need to be possessed as well.

The difference between regular OOCness, possession, and replacement is mostly a matter of degree, so whether or not an uncanonical backstory would create a character replacement depends on how OOC the character is. If they behave in the story how they likely would if they really had that backstory, that might not be bad at all—exploring that sort of thing could easily be the subject of a good AU. If it's so terribly written that their characterization doesn't even make sense with the altered backstory, that's another matter.

... I'm not sure I'm making sense, so let me know if I need to clarify what I'm trying to say here. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

Eusabius and Florestan found an Ike replacement in a Smash Bros fic who was later possessed by a Sue-wraith.

I'm really not impressed by Webs in this... should be back up now. Doubtless there's some other site they've seen fit to shut down, though.

hS