Dec 2014 Archive, part c

Welcome back! I'm a bit of a lurker these days too, but hopefully will be around more in 2015 assuming my work becomes less busy.

Have a welcome-back mongoose!

Elcalion

It's been way too long since you've been around. I'm glad life's been going well for you. ^^

Have some delicious egg rolls!

Have a debatably-existent kitten! :D

Wait, have we met before? I don't remember... Anyway, as someone who's close to their first PPC-versarey, have a triple-deluxe-everlasting-extra-chocolatey cake! Oh, and take this roaring bunny. If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

So, wow, sounds like a lot of stuff is happening! Moving to England? Woah. And...I don't know, there was a discussion about BOFA a while ago and I haven't seen a discussion about it since.

If it's not too personal, might I ask what sort of 3D printing you're doing? My mom's going back to school for computer science and she's really fascinated by 3D printing stuff.

*takes swig of butterbeer*

Good to see you again! Glad you're making the moneys, and that you're getting closer to the Big Move! 3D printing is fancy~!

I actually saw Five Armies in Boston with Araeph and Fractal Dawn earlier this week. I got treated to a long explanation of Everything Wrong by Fractal on the walk back to the subways; my Tolkien knowledge is not up to par in this community. My main problem with the film is that, being based only on the climax and denouement of the novel, it's basically one long, tense fight scene with hardly any breather moments. It wasn't as fun as most of the other . . . anything Tolkien. Yeah.

Tis the season for returnbies, it seems.

There's a long and actually pretty good fanfic where Thorin uses a pool in the Dwarvish afterlife to spy on the events of the War of the Ring. It got extremely popular, and it utilized the term extensively, so it's likely that this fic, with its research and world building on the Dwarves, spawned or spurred on the trend.

..."dwarrow" is the historical plural for "dwarf" in the word's home mythology (Norse, I think?). Tolkien called his pluralization into "dwarves" a bit of "personal bad grammar", but it seems to have been kept in order to match the pluralization of "elf" into "elves". Thanks, Wikipedia!

This doesn't excuse "dwarrowdam", though, because that still isn't anywhere.

Hai!

But, what... I have never heard of such a term and it sound ridiculous!

Dwarves are one of my favourite species within the LOTR and the Hobbit Fandom...

This is just-

To channel my frustration into something constructive, I decided to write a two-part ficlet. Chapter 1 - lure unsuspecting Suethors in, making them think it is another "girl falls into Middle-earth" fic. Chapter - the girl meets very logical death in the not so logical world.

I posted the first part, I will give it a few days and then post the second chapter (still to be written). :)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10907451/1/Beware-of-Your-Dreams

I have never seen that term before. Not even in D&D, and my gaming group has done/seen a lot of weird things. Man, and here I thought 'She-Elf' was bad...

Oh, right! Have a welcome-back ribbiting pocket saber-toothed kitten! Feel free to remove the urple bow around its neck. :)

As far as I know, the only time the word "dwarrow" appears in Tolkien's writings is in "Dwarrowdelf", which is probably the influence behind this...lovely?...new term.

A quick Google search shows it only showing up in Hobbit-related fanfic. I'd *love* to find out who coined this. Because it's dumb.

Hi, Hellga! It's always nice to see you again. ^_^

And, as my incredulous reaction may have told you, I've never heard the term "dwarrowdams" before and I have no idea where it came from. I haven't been following the Hobbit fandom that closely, and I kinda get the sense that that was a good life choice. O.o

That said, if you have any particularly heinous fics to report, you might find me a willing sporker. Or, if not me, then someone.

Welcome back!

~Neshomeh

But I have to post this. I found a Suefic on FFNet. The Suethor has read the Silmarillion, knows that a male elf is called an "ellon," and knows details of the War of Wrath.

So why, oh, why, did she write a Suefic where a modern-Earth human dies and reincarnates as Ancalagon's adopted daughter, and eventually romances Smaug?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10508024/1/Draconic-Supremacy

Uurrrgghhh. This is all kinds of wrong... oh, and the Sue's dragon form has lavender scales. Yeah. *actually shudders IRL*

Always Alone > by Siampie reviews
Known as Eilif, a woman has walked the lands of Middle Earth aimlessly for a long time. Until one night at Bree she came across four hobbits and her life changed. Follow her, as she finally has a goal and something to fight for. She'll find dear friend and love on her quest to destroy the ring and she'll finally find a place where she belongs. 10th Walker Aragorn/OC.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,222 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1h ago - Published: Nov 5 - [Aragorn, OC]

My comment: She's Thorin's daughter!

Conker's Other Bad Fur Day by Dream the Fox
Description from Author: Set after Conker's Bad Fur Day. Conker's still upset about Berri's death and wants her back. When Gregg tells him how to do it, Conker, along with some friends, head off on a new adventure to bring Berri back. My first Conker story. R&R and NO FLAMES.
Anonymouse's Notes: This fic was named after, and intends to replace, Conker's Other Bad Fur Day, Rare's planned sequel to Conker's Bad Fur Day that was fully scripted but never made it off paper because "Microsoft never asked for it". What appalls me is that the author knows enough to name it after that game but never bothered to look up the released details- like King Conker being dethroned and almost executed due to blowing his kingdom's treasury on alcohol, and Berri coming back as a Terminator-like antagonist. Also, it's fishy when the author gives away the whole plot in one line of dialog from one character, and even more fishy when they never even use his proper name- the Grim Reaper's name is Gregg in this game, people. Gregg. Not "the reaper." And he's not in charge of the afterlife, just the proper "harvesting" of the dead, like all Grim Reapers- so he wouldn't have time to get annoyed by Berri.

Revolt by TheOgeeBoogieMan
Description from Author: Jenkins E. Weaselov, the son of the professor, has mustered up a second reich [sic]this time much more serious than the last. I'm also going into depth to explain certain aspects of the game.
Anonymouse's Notes: This fic is apparently set after the events of Conker's Bad Fur Day/Conker: Live and Reloaded, which seems to be a popular topic. First off, spatial distortion noted right in the first chapter's author's notes, but the fic after that was surprisingly readable, until I realised that Conker himself is very, VERY out of character, being far too qualified for a government job than he ought to be- and ASKING HIS GUARDS TO ASK SOMETHING FROM DON WEASO. Er, sorry, it's "Weaselo." Just for the record, and sorry if I spoil a ten-year-old game for you, but Don Weaso murders Berri in cold blood right in front of Conker in the finale, and even in this fic he's upset about her death, so not holding Don at least partially responsible for her not being there- and thus NOT HATING HIS GUTS- is infuriatingly out of character in and of itself.

Friend in Need Professor's POV by Julie Riley aka Julayla Beryl [sic]
Description from Author: This is the Professor's version on how he met up with Nack. It might have words you might not understand since he's german. Hope you like it though. (Finished)
Anonymouse's Notes: Nack? Who is- Ohhh. Oh, right, Nack, that one Sonic character that I totally forgot was a Conker character as well. Silly me. Evident from the Author's Notes is that he stole "Weaselov" (an apparently non-canon last name) from Mr. TheOgeeBoogieMan up there, and evident from the first full paragraph is that although this is not marked as a crossover, Julie here decided that the Conkerverse is on Mobius- in other words, the entire Conkerverse is inside the Sonicverse. Oh, and it's hard to read because the narrator is the Professor with his constant German accent. There are other POV's of this fic, but this one is the one I got first.

Conkers Scale encounter by Ra88
Description from Author: Sigh...Conker never has peace, because now, a dragon dude called Tenka makes his entrance, creates a cheap T-Virus rip-off, and then tries to conquer Conk. O, yeah, Berri is back but she wants to kil him. An ordinary day in the life of a squirrel.
Anonymouse's Notes: Misspelled words and abuse- as opposed to neglect- of various forms of punctuation. Also, paragraphs huge enough to be f[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] bricks of text. I hope that "Berri is back but she wants to kil [sic] him" is evidence that Terminator Berri is in this fic, but I didn't get that far.

Or can this be the current "general badfic reporting" thread? Because I've found a horrible Monster Musume/Prototype crossover.

At least they're all short, right?

"I do know that I need to stop thinking foolish things and falling over."

Right you are, Frodo. Right. You. Are.

It's not that the ridiculous voice, poor verb choices, and rampant malapropisms are making me giggle uncontrollably, it's just that they are. The potential for delicious snark is endless!

What. Fack the actual whut. Overload. What.

I gotta say that I disagree; I can't classify HPMoR as goodfic. Harry is massively OOC - even considering that this is a very different AU, he's completely replaced - and so is Hermione, the fic is a huge author's tract, Quirrel... isn't, Harry is some bloody OP Chessmaster, Harry's a jerk, Lily broke the Wizarding laws for Petunia but wasn't thrown into Azkaban, etc, etc.

Where Do Babel Fish Go When They Die?
A tribute to Douglas Adams, and Romana is there too. Yay!

Lost Luggage and Lost Souls
Seven is my favorite Doctor. Ace is my favorite companion. This looks at both of them from the outside. It's made of utter brilliance. There is some swearing.

Most Likely Kill You In The Morning
This fic drew me in because of the title. If you don’t recognise it, it’s from The Princess Bride. I feel the need to put the quote that is at the beginning here.
“Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Westley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, to fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.”
This is what happens if the Doctor never came back from Girl in the Fireplace. Rose takes up his occupation, and meets old friends of his. It’s delightfully creepy and some bits will make you sob your eyes out. All of this author’s stuff is great, to be honest.

Fearful Symmetry
Oh wow. Where do I start? Looking at this fic again, I must say it is the best ever 11 fic I have read. The mystery character that I won’t tell you about otherwise it’ll ruin it is characterized perfectly. You’ve got the Doctor running in on Amy and Rory having... romantic... moments... and him attempting to wear a top hat. Brilliant dialogue, snappy and perfect, and I would like to submit this short section as proof.
“Oh my God…” Amy stared at the Time Lord in quiet horror: “What is that, that thing?”
“What?” The Doctor gaped in alarm and turned to look behind him. “Where? A thing in the TARDIS?” He ran around the console, flapping at every nook and cranny he could see in an effort to flush the interloper out: “Get out of it, thing! Go on! Bad thing! Naughty thing!”
“No,” Amy groaned, pointing at him; “on your head.”
“Oh, this?” The Doctor stopped and beamed, running a finger around the brim of his headgear with obvious satisfaction: “This old thing? Didn’t I tell you? I wear a top hat now. Top hats are—”
“No,” Amy told him, adamantly.
“Blimey, Rory,” said the Doctor, turning to his other companion for support. “Back me up here!”
“I…” Rory opened his mouth to speak, closed it again and then shook his head: “No, she’s right, it’s horrible. A bit like this shell-suit.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re scared of her,” the Doctor told him.
“No, I’m…” Rory hesitated again before nodding wretchedly. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
You also have the best plot this side of canon that can ever be done. READ IT.

An Entirely Serious and Probable Story About Eyebrows and Bananas - AKA: The Continuing Adventures of Doctor Idiot (And His Wise and Not At All Homicidal and Bananas Mistress)
Something cheerful! Spoilers for the ending to Season 8. It will make you laugh so darn hard....

The Science-y Girl and the Curator
Something sweet and fluffy. A look at the Curator's life with Osgood as his companion. It also explains quite a lot while still keeping it a mystery.

I liked how you were able to flesh out your agents' characters, especially E.V.L. She's pretty much how one would expect a Suvian agent to act! I hope to see a lot more of your work.

That said, I did catch a few things:
and even if we hate each others’ guts, I still need to know how you idiots do things around here
The apostrophe is in the wrong place. It should be should be "each other's guts".

E.V.L. decided not to pose the obvious question about how dA treated MLP:
I suggest that you cut the acronyms. Granted, it's easy to guess what you're talking about, but it might throw people off.

A second mini-Discord, Cadence, promptly poof-ed into existence next to the agents.
I don't think that the hyphen is needed.

“There never was any mention of how many alicorns the world could support at any one time,” the disguised ex-ficubus noted. “So that means this prophecy wouldn’t have been backed up by anything in the actual canon.”
It seems like E.V.L. is trying to make a good argument on the Sue's behalf; she's saying that the prophecy does not run afoul of canon.
If so, then the word that you've used is the exact opposite of the word you want: you should use "contradicted," not "backed up."

“Neat use of a title drop, but no points for you, Tara,” E.V.L. sighed.
This sounds like a good comment, but the problem is that the reader does not know the context! What is the title that the Sue is dropping?

In the following chapter, the other ponies caught up with the Sue, upon which she told them about where Twilight was...
You're using the wrong prepositional phrase. Where you put "upon which," what you really meant to say is "whereupon" or "at which point".

“Now, roll over!” Rayner ordered. Cerberus roll over onto his back.
Tense shift. It should be "rolled over".

“Then why don’t you just transfer him in External Security?” E.V.L. growled. “That way, I’ll never have to see his stupid face ever again.”
Two issues. One, it should be "transfer him to External Security".
Two; How does E.V.L. know about External Security?

Though I really have to question if 'recruit' is the proper word to describe E.V.L. :P

Anyway, excellent first (DMS) mission, and I can't wait to get started on our collab!

I can't pinpoint what exactly I liked about it, but it was good!

Good work! As someone who is still very new to the series (I've only seen a few episodes of Season 1), this was very enjoyable and a fantastic mission to read. However, the text seemed very clustered together - I read most missions on my iPad, and my brain started confusing which line I was on after a while due to the spacing. Some more space between each different lines of dialogue would be great.

Overall, though - I loved the mission!

Your agents were very interesting and with great interaction. You really get a feel for each of them. And I like that there's still plenty of animosity and room for development in future missions.

And a nitpick, "falling right after the Sue melted through the strange mirror."

(There's nothing wrong with a trope title.) Rayner's mean-spiritedness still comes across as weird to me. I know he's not supposed to be all rainbows and flowers, but... Is he going to mellow out at all in the forseeable future? (Also, remember to make Wiki profiles for him and E.V.L.)

I particularly liked the part where E.V.L. charged fake!Sombra and tried to fight him off. It really captured her overconfidence and relative inexperience with this whole PPC thing. (Also, what is the deal with her head? I thought it got reattached, why does she occasionally play with it? That's creepy even by her standards.)

Come on guys, applaud! That was great!

Department of Intelligence datanet

>Login
>>BOARD OVERRIDE DETECTED, GRANTING FULL ACCESS
>>View/Authentication[BOARD OVERRIDE]/Chatlogs/Today/ICEPChatlogs/ Log_00140-TK12-GD13

>>>>TRANSLATING… DONE

[Tomoko Kogi has joined the chat room]

[Colibri has joined the chat room]

Tomoko Kogi: Dammit, I thought I set my chat handle for good last time. Hang on a moment.

[Tomoko Kogi has changed their username to “SiliconChipEater”]

SiliconChipEater: That’s better. Now, on to business: De Grasse, I need your expert advice again.

Colibri: Really? How may I be of service?

SiliconChipEater: I’m going on another date with my girlfriend. Do you remember Mei? I think I introduced her to you a while back. Really short, kinda round, glasses, pink pixie cut, graphic tees and jeans?

Colibri: I think I remember meeting her, yes. She’s the one that said that I looked like a shrivelled-up goblin, right?

SiliconChipEater: Oh my god. Are you still butthurt over that? It was obviously a joke and she apologised! Besides, she didn’t even know about HQ’s translation field since she’s from World One and all.

Colibri: Naturally, this gives her the permission to say things to people “behind their backs”. Speaking of which, I am still owed a cake-- as in a “cake that was made by me for my grandmother’s birthday”.

SiliconChipEater: Okay, I’ll admit that one was my fault. I did say that anything in the kitchen was hers. So, are you going to help me?

SiliconChipEater: Hello?

SiliconChipEater: Did you seriously just bail on me here?

Colibri: Sorry-- AFK for a while. Nasir came over and dropped off his Pokémon before his date with Penny. So where do you want to go this time? North America? Europe? Someplace tropical? I’ve got a lot of stuff planned for Europe-- especially around this time of the year. Even it it’s a little after Christmas some places still have their lights up: New Year’s is upon us and all.

SiliconChipEater: Well, preferably somewhere warm. Mei liked the South American trip that you planned last time but wanted somewhere even warmer. By the way, we took some great pictures at Machu Picchu, wanna see them?

Colibri: No thank you.

Colibri: Might I suggest Hawai’i this time? It’s nice and tropical, everything is in English, and a lot of things in Waikiki are also translated into Japanese for tourists’ sake.

SiliconChipEater: Really? Now that’s pretty useful. Yeah, let’s go with Hawai’i. What is there to do there?

Colibri: There’s a fireworks show at scheduled at midnight tonight. If I were you, I’d pack a supper, walk on the beach with Mei until sunset, and have a picnic while watching the tourists mill around. I’d sit there until midnight, watch the fireworks, and then pack up and go home afterwards.

Colibri: My only concern would be to arrive on time for the next sorting shift: by my watch, you’d only have 2 hours left to sleep before we have to report at the Hub.

SiliconChipEater: I’ll manage. Any restaurants in the area? I’m really looking to impress this time. Sandwiches are good and all but I’m looking for the wow factor.

Colibri: Waikiki has a ton of good Japanese/Korean food. I’d suggest walking along Kalakaua Avenue and exploring the side streets if you have the time. If not, there’s a really good ramen place on Beachwalk Avenue. Can’t remember the name, though.

SiliconChipEater: Sounds good. Anything else I should know?

Colibri: Arrive early at the restaurant; chances are it will be jam-packed full after 5:30pm. I’m forwarding a part of my notes to you right now if you want to do some extra reading.

SiliconChipEater: You’re the best, De Grasse. By the way, what are you doing tonight? Partying it up? Meeting friends?

Colibri: Watching over Nasir’s Glaceon and Murkrow, actually. Grandma has gone over to visit some friends in World One and my parents are working the night shift.

SiliconChipEater: What, you’re gonna be alone?

Colibri: Nope. Juliane and Blacklight are going to watch some Star Trek with me. It’s a nice change of pace for once.

Colibri: Er, the Pokémon, I mean.

SiliconChipEater: “For once.”

SiliconChipEater: When you scurry off and hide after work or between shifts are you really always alone?

Colibri: Well, I do a lot of things with my family but most of the time I’m alone, yes.

SiliconChipEater: Do I really smell that bad?

Colibri: No, it’s not that.

SiliconChipEater: What, then?

Colibri: I don’t want to be a bother. I haven’t got much to share and nobody likes a third wheel. I find that it’s better if I just keep to myself and not disturb anyone.

SiliconChipEater: May I ask a personal question?

Colibri: Go ahead.

SiliconChipEater: You were bullied at school, weren’t you?

[Colibri has left the chat room]

SiliconChipEater: Well, f*** me for trying to understand, right? Don’t think that you’re off the hook, De Grasse. I’ll talk to you when I get back; I’m turning off my phone now.

[Colibri is currently offline. Your message will be sent to them upon their return.]

[SiliconChipEater has left the chat room]

[Colibri has joined the chat room]

Colibri: I swear I logged off because Blacklight landed on my keyboard as I was typing my message. If it’s not too much trouble for you, I’d like to have a chat with you once you’re free.

[SiliconChipEater is currently offline. Your message will be sent to them upon their return.]

Colibri: And yes, I was bullied at school. With a face like mine, who could resist taking potshots at me, eh?

[SiliconChipEater is currently offline. Your message will be sent to them upon their return.]

Colibri: Have a good evening, ma’am.

[SiliconChipEater is currently offline. Your message will be sent to them upon their return.]

[Colibri has left the chat room]

Especially the search history. Hilarious

Ok, the search history bit was pretty funny. I like how it goes from bacteria to flesh eating bacteria to roast beef sandwiches to shawarma. Also, the bit about Angus moving and Sophie getting to see a real sunrise was nice.

Poor, poor Naya, being partnered with the Guardsman. Pretty funny, though.

fire. What if one broke out on the Migrant Fleet? Pretty sure fire safety and stuff would be par for the course.

Oh, and since it's about forty minutes to midnight, have a preemptive Merry Christmas! Now I'm off to bed!

Defiantly would love to cowrite,or if I am too late, do a comic adaption of this sporkting.

(Man, I should have checked to see if there was a Christmas thread in existence before posting mine. Oh, well.)

Merry Christmas to you as well! I hope that you get lots of sleep and time to rest.

Merry christmas, everyone!

And hugs to everyone in the PPC!

Applaud! Applaud! That was equal parts awesome, silly and adorable!

... Hey! Urist! I know you're a Gyarados and have no arms, but you have a tail and you have the ground. Make do. Applaud!

...I've decided, based on the feedback I have received, to withdraw this story from the PPC canon.

The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, PoorCynic makes a very good point about Disney Infinity being completely different from *any* of the continua featured, especially with most of the story elements being changed to the point that they can't be considered canon to those continua. To be fair, I have not played that game even once (don't have the required equipment or any of the toys), so no, I am not familiar with that game, and I should have realized that when I wrote this. Again, I would gladly work on an OFU of some sort if I get the time, but it won't be for a very long while because of real-life reasons.

Secondly, and more importantly, the main pitch I had in my head when writing this story was, in fact, a series of stupid self-inflicted Mary Sue/Gary Stu deaths in a manner akin to "The Game of the Gods". I now realize that in the context of multiple Disney continua, it simply doesn't work, even if some of the events from certain Disney canons can get pretty dark sometimes (the Feminist!Sue's death was based off that of Scar from The Lion King). As it stands now, though, it stands in stark contrast to both the canons featured and the fact that this was supposed to be a holiday special. I'm reminded of that one fiasco from my first mission, particularly the death of that Character Replacement, though to be fair, it was in the context of a continuum where gore is somewhat expected. There is no such context here, and in hindsight, there was no way I could have work around that.

Finally, I will confess that I was being lazy, selfish, and reckless when I said what basically amounts to 'anyone can write this as long as they credit me'. Again, I will reiterate that I have very little time as it is to write any OFUs, but that is not an excuse to pawn them off to other people, especially not one as broad in scope as this. What I said was uncalled for and I cannot apologize enough for it.

So, yeah. I'll edit the Wiki accordingly, and probably start work over with a much more innocuous holiday special in the future. Sorry, everyone! :(​

This got rather opinionated, for which I apologize, but I feel it's an important thing to discuss.

I don't like the heavy focus on the gore of the Sue deaths. Partly, this is because it flies in the face of how PPC agents do things. Showy, dramatic displays of skill and arrogance are Sue things, not PPC things. Now, I know some of these Sues' deaths were brought about by canon characters, or, in the case of the chef Sue, her own illogical behavior, but you wrote those; hence, they are still deaths caused by a PPCer.

I think the worst example is the feminism Sue. It actually starts out excellently: an agent and Sue in a Mexican standoff, with the tension suddenly being broken by another agent singing a Christmas Carol. That's fantastic: there's danger there, but it gets interrupted by bizarre and slightly awkward humor. Now Rashida has the opportunity to put a bullet through the temple, and the scene can go on—

Except that the scene doesn't go on. Rashida disarms the Sue instead, giving said Sue the opportunity to fight back (read: show off and garner more screen time). This fight then leads to a horrific accident involving parts of a Christmas tree, followed by a slow, loud death by being eaten alive by sentient predators while the Sue begs.

Here's a brief list of things I don't find funny or entertaining to read about:

-dying people begging for mercy
-a detailed description of someone being literally eaten alive
-someone's internal organs being punctured by ornaments from a Christmas tree, a symbol of bringing together my loved ones

I mean, this is sadistic. To put this kind of scene in a story that a) purports to take place alongside some of Disney's animated canons, and b) in your obligatory Christmas episode is just very, very bothersome to me. I would charge for a scene like this being included in a badfic for any of the canons you represented here.

But a further problem, to get back to what I was saying about that particular assassination: when you give a big, dramatic fight scene like this to a Sue, it's reinforcing the Sue's power, whereas the purpose of the PPC is to take away power from the Sue, and give it back to canon.

Now, I'm not saying missions should never end in big, dramatic scenes, because there have been some good ones here and there. But I find it more satisfying when a Sue is defeated, not because xir power was matched, by a stronger (more Suish) force, but because xir power was subverted, rendered immaterial in the grand scheme of the re-emerging canon. (I know this wasn't a mission, and that the Sues were made up, but the treatment of them still matters.)

Now, you actually had an excellent example in your Friendship Is Magic mission below. (And I apologize for not responding to both separately, but I read both during the same work shift, and I need to get to sleep.) I liked the outcome you gave to E.V.L.'s attempt to dispatch the replacement villain: E.V.L.'s Suvian assumption of "I do thing and succeed" falling flat on it's face against the fully powered Sue is a great example of why taking on a Sue on xir own terms is a terrible idea, not only because it's dangerous for the agents, but because it gives the Sue a chance to shine even brighter than before. The replacement's eventual successful assassination is better, as it involved a distraction, followed by stripping of the powers. It's still marred, in my opinion, by the violence inherent in the scene (in a My Little Pony story!). The snapping off of the horn I could have forgiven on its own, since it's a logical way to deprive a unicorn of xir magic, but coupled with the blood draining assassination method . . . it's just gross to read. (How did that work, really? Wasn't E.V.L.'s head detached while she drank that blood? Where did it go?) I actually wasn't initially planning on commenting on it, since you gave signs at the end of that mission that both agents are due to have their powers hobbled, but I decided to bring it up, too, after reading the Christmas story.

Okay, I feel like I rambled maybe too much (and deleted a good deal of what I wrote, may it please thee). Part of this got very opinionated, and again, I apologize for that, but I can only review from my own point of view, and sometimes it's unavoidable. Let me just summarize what I was aiming for:

1. I'm not saying never have dramatic fight scenes that show off a Sue's powers. They can be fun, but they should be a sometimes food, like cookies or ketchup sandwiches; otherwise, they get tiresome and boring to read, and miss the point of the PPC-as-a-whole's problem with Sues.

2. I personally hate reading gore. (Or watching it, but that's not relevant.) It's especially off-putting in situations where it doesn't belong (kid-oriented continua, love-themed holidays, etc.). Obviously, I can't stop you from being the violence-themed PPC spin-off, if that's what you like to write, but . . . I'm unlikely to keep reading your work if it's going to continue featuring scenes of this borderline-sadistic nature. That's just how I feel.

Before we begin, my usual disclaimer: I apologize if my opinions and points seem to be presented harshly. My intention is neither to belittle nor insult.

This story... this story is not good. I am struggling to think of anything that I liked, which is not what my reaction should be after reading a PPC fic.

First off, there's the OFU itself. It bothers me that you seem to have just created an OFU with which you intend to do nothing. It is especially bothersome since you made this OFU so broad in its scope (despite it supposedly being just about Disney Infinity, which I will get to in a second). If canon-specific OFUs can just supplant it, then why does it need to exist in the first place? Disney has no shared overarching canon. What benefit does this provide to these smaller fanfiction schools?

I must also protest your use of Disney Infinity for one major reason. The game might not have a lot of canon to it, but there is one important point that you have either forgotten or not researched. The characters in Disney Infinity are not canonical transplants. They did not jump universes. They're toys. Literally. That's the central focus of the game. That's why all the levels are based off of toy boxes and why the characters fall to pieces when they run out of health. It therefore makes no sense that the original canonical characters would go to teach at this OFU (expect maybe the Toy Story characters). You also included characters who are not actually part of the Disney Infinity line like Tiana. I suppose that ties into the "all-purpose OFU" excuse.

That bothered me a lot when I read through this the first time, and it took me a few minutes to figure out why. Ignoring or overlooking key canonical details for the benefit of your own characters or plot is something that happens in badfic.

I'm not even sure why this needed to be a crossover at all. Very few of the Disney characters outside of those from The Incredibles, Frozen, and Tangled did anything. Mickey Mouse was pretty much entirely ignored, which is weird since he literally is the face of Disney. His speeches were bushed off in a couple of sentences.

Some of the canonicals felt OOC at times. Elsa and Anna seemed the most prone to this (although that could be because I saw Frozen most recently of any Disney film). Wh would Elsa care about statues? I don't recall that particular aspect of her character.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I didn't see the point of this story. Your characters didn't seem to develop in any significant way apart from what I felt was a very weak token lesson about respect at the very end. Stories need to have a point; something that drives the characters and invests the audience. This whole fic just seemed to be a excuse to have your characters interact with certain members of the Disney canon. If that was indeed the point, then color me a little concerned.

This is a weak effort, all in all. I know you're capable of better.

PoorCynic

Good work as usual. I like the ides of the OFU, and I just had to chuckle at how you lampshaded the fact that you deliberately wrote in those Sues.

One question, though: What was the point of the impromptu rendering of Adeste Fideles ("O Come, All Ye Faithful") near the end?

However, I did spot one error:
Her regenerative powers alone kept her from breaking her neck upon impact.
Since you have two females fighting, then you should replace that first "her" with a proper noun. As currently written, the reader assumes that it is Sarah, not the Sue, who has the regenerative powers.

And I only tripped over it twice! Okay, maybe three times. Five. Shut up.

Anyway, I finally went and saw Into the Woods with a very dear friend who I've not been able to see for a very long time. We exchanged gifts and had a lovely time, and have made arrangements to get together for New Year's. Yay friendship!~

Who here is willing to beta my Permission piece? It's gone through several revisions; heck, one of the stories has been scrapped and rewritten entirely.

You can let me know by e-mail:: DBooker67@gmail.com

I got betas for my permission piece, and no one seemed to complain about that.

Heh, most of us have probably had a Sue (or Stu) character or two. I still skirt the line a bit with a lot of my RPG characters, since I like weird character concepts. The city druid (long story, which I won't inflict on you) especially. It's a balancing act, probably even more than with characters in writing. :P

Have you heard of the Tenebrae MUSH? They do Pathfinder and not D&D, and I don't think they have any Psion characters, but I'm sure Bellna would like having another Wizard around that doesn't completely overpower her. (Being Level 2 makes Bellna sad. She doesn't get no Fireballs. ;_;)

And lest this become me being kind of in-characterly silly or something like that, I shall stop talking now!

(I'm assuming by "adopted patents" you meant "adopted parents". Darn that Toey.) I don't play D&D anymore, but I kept the info sheets for my character just in case. I think she might be a little bit Sue-ish, what with being an elf and a Beastmaster with a wolf companion and born on a mountain during a lunar eclipse. (No, really, it says so right there on page 2.) Oh, well. I can work out the kinks and slightly blah backstory whenever I get around to the story I wrote about her for Camp NaNoWriMo two years ago.

[DeadlyMushroom has joined the chat room]

DeadlyMushroom: So this works huh.

DeadlyMushroom looks around.

DeadlyMushroom: Partner is off doing Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey stuff, so I'm stuck in the RC with the minis.

DeadlyMushroom: Usually I'd complain but the quiet seems... almost tranquil. Mini-Noo-noos make the cutest snoring sounds!