Dec 2014 Archive, part b

So here's what we have thus far.

Format: Name / Mii Name / Friend Code / Safari Type / Pokémon 1, Pokémon 2, Pokémon 3

Voyd / Voyd / 1392-5826-5259 / Ice / Sneasel, Snover, ???

Darkotas / Cody or Darkotas / 3823-9409-3882 / Electric / Pachirisu, Electabuzz, ???

doctorlit / doctorlit/ 2277-7567-7254 / Grass / Tangela, Swadloon, ???

Tira / Dess / 3024-6553-0049 / Poison / Kakuna, Venomoth, ???

Iximaz / Sabrina / 4356-1134-7316 / Fighting / Mankey, Throh, Breloom

eatpraylove / Sara / 0576-5807-4247 / Water / Bibarel, Wartortle, ???

I have an Electric Friend Safari, with Parachisu, Electibuzz, and ? (haven't run into the third yet. Code is 3823-9409-3882, with the Mii name being either Cody or Darkotas.

Hoping to get a 2DS and X for Christmas, I'll tell you after then (hopefully). Until then I'm jealous (slightly)

Name is doctorlit, code is 2277-7567-7254.

Hm. We need to get Maslab and Plat from the chatroom to join in . . .

I've only got two badges myself, so it'll be a while before I get to partake in the Friend Safari, but at least you guys can make use of my code. (I'm one of those weirdos who actually likes level-grinding, and does it one at a time, no experience sharing, Rare Candies are sell-high items to me. It takes me a while to get through an RPG.)

Also, anyone want a Machamp? I grinded a Machop into a Machoke for the Pokédex, but I want to use my Machamp from White Version instead. So the Machoke/Machamp is up for grabs, first come, first served.

My Friend Code is 3024-6553-0049, and my Mii's name is Dess.

Thanks for doing this! I don't actually have any 3DS friends, so I've never gotten to check out the Friend Safari.

I have a Fighting-type Safari, with Mankey, Breloom, Throh.

4356-1134-7316

Unfortunately, I don't have X/Y (yet), so I can't help you with the whole Friend Safari thing. My code is 0576-5807-4247, and my Mii's name is Sara. (Anyone reading this who plays Animal Crossing: New Leaf, my town is called Daisy if you wanna pay me a visit.)

...and it will always remain claimed, if you know what I mean.

Besides, what mission could do justice to the Prime Badfic itself?

Yea - sooo, happy birthday!

Hope you enjoy it!

As a present, I give you a life size paper mache replica of Ancalagon the Black's little toe. Have fun with it!

And how appropriate that my betas were the first two to respond! But no Pokémon? Come on, people! (jk)

Do I get to give you a present now?

Have an incorporeal flying kitten! Do not, under any circumstance, put her in the Reality Room! :D

Congrats on making it another year, and good luck with that "Real Life" thing I keep hearing about.

Let's see, what would make a good gift... Oh, I know! Here, take this Ectoplasmic Blender. It's great for making ghost smoothies!

Have the Iximaz Original Birthday Song!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

Have a fuzzy green sweater with a matching scarf!

Have some cookies.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6318423/1/Hitchups NSFW when someone makes a How To Train Your Dragon badfic they just have to make it 40 chapters long with a sequel. I feel sorry for the agent that picks this one.

Well, if the two continua are Monster Musume and Prototype, which are about as compatible as Teletubbies and Game of Thrones, everything.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10539615/1/Prototype-Monster-Girls

On the Prototype front, Alex is OOC regardless of which version you're working with, and apparently this happens after Prototype 2. Which isn't possible because of spoilers!

On the MonMusu front, nobody bats an eye when Alex horribly kills someone, it completely messes with the timeline (it involves the orc attack, which happens in Chapter 11, but takes place after Lala moves in, which is in Chapter 24), and I think even Ms. Smith isn't irresponsible enough to leave Alex in Kimihito's house when she's SEEN him eat someone.

Plus there's the spelling, punctuation and grammar issues. I found twelve minis when reading through (four from Prototype, eight from Monster Musume).

I want to kill it. This fic is only three chapters long, and it's hurting two of my all-time favorite works of fiction. I want to see it die horribly.

*twitcha twitch* Oh lord. SPaG fail to the max, I can hear Weird Al singing.

So I think it's a good time/To learn some grammar/Now, did I stammer?/Work on that grammar~

So much RWBY badfic around. My personal list got 5 from one fanfiction.net trip.

I now cannot read badfic without composing a charge list in my head. The one on the top of my list includes "forcing a Mini to play the role of a corporation due to repeated improper capitalization." I mean, I've seen Minis playing a character.

Said badfic also includes charged of "creating the evil sorceress Glinda Good Bitch" and "creating Mrs. Dominatrix."

Yes, both in reference to Glinda Goodwitch. Which probably counts as Glinda bashing as well as Weiss bashing. And causing Weiss to swear, I think. And causing Nora to become an "insane bitch." And turning Team RWBY into Team RWBYX. And creating an extra chess piece. And having a *poll* on who the Gary Stu's going to get paired with. And dying and falling into a canon. And instantly knowing how to fight with a CHAINSAW SWORD for a freaking stupid reason. And...

I really need to spork this thing. >_>

"To Tame A Shifter" by DemonSkitty

A wolf shifter has been hunted down by Levi and Erwin and now they must tame her and train her, however they will soon learn that she is a tough nut to crack. There are other animal shifters out there inclucing Eren, a lion shifter who's on Levi's side. However can they train her for good? After all, you can take a animal out of the wild but you can't take the wild out of an animal

Pretty self-explanatory. For some reason, they turn into animals. Because reasons. It's short, but new, so it may be updated.


"The Heart Wants What It Wants" by alchemyjenningspowers

Levi quickens Alchemy Jennings-Powers heart with his presence. He cauterizes her lungs with his sweet breath. Who would know such a doomed fate lies ahead for such an terrible girl? Levi AckermanxOC oneshot OOC Levi Ackerman

It's urple, it squicks me out, and once you get inside it supposedly stars "Abused!Reader," but it's in third person and anyplace there should be a name, it just says {Name} or {Last Name}. What is this, I don't even. O.o Also short, but unfinished, so who knows?


"My Regret" by ErenLevijeager

After having slept with his lover, Eren finds out he is expecting Levi's child. He thinks that this will bring them closer together...he was dead wrong. Levi refuses to have a child in his life. Heartbroken, Eren decides to end the relationship and raise their child alone. Years later, Levi finds Eren...and two small boys?

This one's long. It's Mpreg, but that's the least of it. It's an unmarked AU, Eren's dad is an abusive alcoholic, his mother is a woobie, his relationship with Levi makes no sense, Levi's a self-hating, smoking, drinking, cutting businessman... I dunno if it's missionable, but it's bizarre. Maybe a job for the Department of Angst?


~Neshomeh, who clearly needs to pay more attention to the AoT section.

According to TV Tropes (the other Source of All Knowledge), the Vocaloids are basically animated actors in all the MVs, which explains why their personalities change so drastically between songs (and why Len dies so often).

Fans, however, have created basic personalities for them based off their art, voice, and occasionally behavior in MVs; Kaito is usually portrayed as a goofy manchild, for example, while Gumi and Rin are boisterous if immature and Len and/or Luka are the sane ones. (More info can be found here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/Vocaloid)

Until Crypton Future Media/BPlats/Internet Co Ltd./whatever other company says something to the contrary, I think the safe thing to do would be to accept said fanon personalities as canon unless, as you said, you're dealing with a fic set in a specific mini-verse like the Story of Evil series.

I feel FNaF has been covered pretty solidly by these replies, and I know nothing about Vocaloid, so...

Prototype! I think that continuum may need to be handled by the ESAS by default, considering how extremely powerful the normal canon residents are. If a Sue were a being like Mercer, it would absolutely require the use of ESAS personnel anyway, as your average agent wouldn't be able to handle them without a huge risk to themselves and the PPC.

Either way, it would be a VERY risky mission... and that can make for some great reading and writing in the right hands!

If a) a missionable fic in one of these continua ever surfaces and b) someone actually decides to take it on, that will be their headache. It might be best just to avoid them.

If you're actually considering it, though, it's just a matter of charging for what's chargeable, working with what you've got, and not worrying about anything else. If there is no canon characterization, you can't charge for OOCness, but you can still charge for bad characterization and all the other hallmarks of terrible writing. If you're in a dangerous world, then you better just take extra care not to blow your cover. A little creativity will solve your Sue-disposal problems: Freddy's is basically a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant, but even more horrifying, right? So there's a kitchen full of sharp objects and sources of fire, and there are dumpsters out back, or maybe a sewer entrance. If you can't work with that, you're not trying hard enough. {= P

~Neshomeh

I'm not sure if it qualifies as "fast and exciting," but Weird Al Yankovic's "Word Crimes" seems like a good fit for the OFUs at least.

I recently discovered "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence. I thought it was rather apt when thinking about a world-warping Sue.

I only linked the lyrics above. Just a warning if anyone goes looking for the official music video: it has implications of self-hate and self-harm. Or at least, that's my interpretation; I could be wrong.

Cause we did that twice; once in August for zdimensia, and once in November for "Ammo Guy" (Huinesoron's nickname for him, not mine).

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Fanmix

"Tank!" is a popular choice, but there's a lot of good stuff in there. {= )

Dunno about major things, though. D'you mean in-universe?

~Neshomeh

It's on the Wiki.

As for exciting events... Hmm. I'm probably not the best to judge, since I get overly-excited every time someone posts a new mission.

How many people actually get to interview a dragon?
I loved how he said all these 'newfangled' things... XD
Just call me 'dude' killed me.

I love all the little jokes they worked in about Tolkien and Sherlock. And yes, it was beautiful—at least, it looks amazing from our end. I wonder what the audience actually saw.

Mmmmmm, that voice . . .

Based on John Rutter's 'Angel's Carol'. Give it a listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOIhzqutZuQ Very lovely song; does not deserve what I've done to it.


Have you heard the sound
of the agents’ voices
ringing out with charges
ringing out so clear?

Have you seen the blades
shining oh so brightly
as a grim warning
the PPC is here?

Have you heard the news
that they bring from HQ
to the brainwashed canons
who have waited long?

Bad slash, oh, in excess! We kill it!
Bad slash, woe, in excess! We kill it!
Hear the agents sing their joyful song

They have come with bows
and will send off arrows
like a gentle snowfall
in the gentle night

They have come with rage
and one single purpose
to drive out the wraiths
and all the Sues to smite

They have come with love
for the words of canon
And of goodfics, fanart
and a fandom true

Suefics, oh, in excess! We kill them!
Suefics, woe, in excess! We kill them!
Hear the agents singing ‘Slay that Sue’

They will bring new light
to the worlds in darkness
bringing all replacements
quick deaths from above

They will bring new hope
to the waiting canons
when they quote the words
with purity and love

Let the worlds rejoice
at the agents’ coming
Let the Flowers join in
with the joyful verse

Bad AUs, in excess! We kill them!
Bad AUs, in excess! We kill them!
Hear the agents singing ‘End the curse’

Another Jingle Bells Parody (Pokemon edition)
(Sue names taken from the Unclaimed list, the Killed list, and...personal experience)

Jingle bells, Amon smells,
Judy laid an egg,
Wendi's rich and a world-class bitch
And Alex got away,
Hey!
(repeat)
Dashing through the snow
In my pair of Running Shoes
O'er the Routes I go,
Screaming at the Sues!
Yes, I killed Natasha,
And Luke was dead before,
But they're like roaches: For each one
You kill, you find ten more!
Ohhhh,
(chorus)

I adapted Let it Go for the PPC. There are a bunch of mentions of Sue-slaying, but it's about all sorts of holiday badfic.

I'm so, so very sorry.


The badfic mounts on the Pit tonight
Not a goodfic to be seen
Every canon in devastation,
And Suethors screaming, "MEAN!1!!"

The Minis growling like the badfic storm outside
Couldn't keep them down, no matter what we tried.

Take some Bleeprin, try not to snap
If we stop, then the canon's a wrap
Move on, don't stop, don't let them go
Well, here we go!

So just go, so just go
Exorcise every god and mortal
So just go, so just go
Then away through another portal!

I don't care
What the next fic will say
Let the Sues cry on,
We can't let them have this holiday.

It's "funny" how some badfics
Make everything taste like pain
And canon's breaking uncontrollably
I'm going to go insane!

Time to see what this fic'll do
What grammar rules that they'll break through
Just right the wrong, canon for me
Another fic slash-free!

So just go, so just go
Did she fall from the freaking sky?
So just go, so just go
All this badfic will make me cry.

Here I stand
Though I can't stay
And the Sues cry on

I rush to charge across this urple ground
Oh great, did they just break the speed of sound?
And one thought slams into me in a blast:
"Not another time-travel fic,
The past should stay the past!"

So just go, so just go
No time to sleep, no time to yawn
So just go, so just go
Yet another perfect girl is gone!

Here we stand
In the badfics' way
And the Sues cry on,
We can't let them have this holiday.

"Let All Suvian Flesh Keep Silence", to the tune of (you guessed it) "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence".

(Guess who's got a one-way ticket to hell. That's right, I do!)

Let all Suvian flesh keep silence,
And with fear and trembling stand;
Ponder nothing Glitter minded,
For with chargelists in their hands,
PPC Agents descending
With the Canon to demand.

Over Arda, our Sue of Mary,
Ruled with glittered fist and lust,
Walk’d with Fellowship and woo’d many,
Twisting purposes to her own;
She has powers, yea, innumerable
But she only seeks her Twoo Wuv.

Rank on rank the host of Canon
Spreads its vanguard on the way,
As the Light of light descendeth
From the realms of endless day,
That the powers of Sue may vanish
As the Glitter clears away.

In the wreck the tired Agents,
Caffeinated with sleepless eyes,
Trudge through portals back to HQ
As with ceaseless voice they cry:
Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, Canon prevails!

A PPC Agent's Delusion Dream (or, A Very Unlikely Reality)
To the tune of Sevivon, Sov Sov Sov

Agents far, agents wide
Now rejoice on every side.
Agents dance, agents sway--
The SO has gone away!

What we'll do now, we don't care,
If nothing else, he's outta our hair!
Good paychecks are now in store--
And vacations, more and more!


--
With luck, I'll eventually make a recording! Those are always fun.

To the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"

Obi-Wan had become an Aurek-grade cad.
Silmaril burns drove Anakin mad.
What I day I had in FicPsych!
Self-injuring was the Wizard of Oz.
Likewise Misunderstood!Woobie!Miraz.
What a day I had in FicPsych!
Some idiot put C'mell in
A room with Legolas.
Read Lost Tales 2 again; between
Elves and cats no love is lost.
And no sooner were they to Medical sent,
A TARDIS dropped off crackfic'ed Arthur Dent.
What a day I had in FicPsych!

Darth Sidious heard the sound of the drums.
Gonff was schizophrenic, also all thumbs.
What a day I had in FicPsych!
Leela had lost all of her spine.
Fluttershy could do nothing but whine!
What a day I had in FicPsych!
Ungoliant had been dancing
To "Spider in the Bath",
Reeplcheep had starred in Yiffstar fics,
Mister Scott now hated math,
And Retief was content to be a king's gift!
All this was just the first hour of my shift!
What a day I had in FicPsych!

Inspired by Bob Rivers' "The Twelve Pains of Christmas" (and the Twelve Days of Christmas besides), I bring you this 90-line abomination. Boldface is singing, non-boldface is angry shouting and eventually anguished screaming. Enjoy!

Bonus: See how many fandoms you can spot starting from the 6th pain!

----------

The first trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
...is M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The second trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The third trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The fourth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Sickly urple prose,
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The fifth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Five extra Rings!
Sickly urple prose,
Warped character,
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The sixth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Suethors being idiots,
Five extra Rings!
How am I supposed to read all this?!
Warped character,
There's only nine members of the Fellowship! NINE!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The seventh trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Character Replacements,
Does she understand how this game works?!
Five extra Rings!
I'm gonna go blind from all this glitter!
Warped character,
Voldemort is Harry's uncle?!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The eighth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Loads and loads of minis,
Character Replacements,
This bastard just can't take criticism!
Five extra Rings!
'A waterfall of gold sparks'... That's her hair?!
Warped character,
PIKACHU NOOOOOOO!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The ninth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Incorrect biology,
Loads and loads of minis,
Violet isn't a murderer!
You're just doing this for attention, aren't you?!
Five extra Rings!
HIS EYES! MY EYES! THEY BURN!!!
Starfire wouldn't do that! Never!
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The tenth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Kids born from M-Preg,
But Pit should've bled to death by now!
Where are they all coming from?!
Character Replacements,
Does she even READ the reviews?!
Five extra Rings!
Go wear less elaborate clothing!
Since when did Sora become such a smartass?!
Ruined canon,
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The eleventh trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Rampaging fic trolls,
I thought women are the ones who have children!
WTF? Velociraptors don't have -
That's not how you spell Godzilla, you twat!
Zuko is NOT a sadistic nut!
Is this some kind of joke to him?!
Five extra Rings!
And lose the fancy jewelry too!
Twilight Sparkle is NOT a prostitute!
Who put Death Mountain right next to Hyrule Castle Town?!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

The twelfth trend in badfic that's such a pain to me...
Badly written shipping,
Seriously, who would write this crap?!
The baby's gonna be covered in -
A carnivore just can't live on a vegan diet!
Where did all these minis come from?!
Terminate with extreme prejudice.
How does it feel to have your fic sporked?!
Five extra Rings!
Tolkien would be rolling in his grave!
You know what, so would Rowling!
THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO THE MOON!!!
...aaaaand M-A-R-Y S-U-E!

To the tune of Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas"

There's a Code Eighteen here on Arda
We see the daughter of Manwë and Varda
Lead a score out at noon
Not at dusk, and too soon,
For they leave ASAP
En route to Mount Doom

And there are nine love interests calling
For canonicals--Gandalf's not falling!
They in Rohan arrive,
Boromir's still alive!
For there's a Code Eighteen here on Arda.

There's a Code Eighteen, for certain.
One Sue's a Vanya, and canon is hurtin'.
For "A/N: Arwen who?
"Eveningstar, nuts to you!"
For there's a Code Eighteen here on Arda.

We find nine obscure ways
To do nine Sues away
And no more Code Eighteen here on Arda.
And no more Code Eighteen here on Arda.

Based on "A Strange Way to Save the World", which... may be by Mark Harris, I'm actually not sure. Either way, it's a Christmas song I really like.

Scored as a duet, for a male and female voice. And... based on OFUM.

A Strange Way to Fall in Love

I'm sure he must have been surprised
At what OFUM had done for him
'cause never in a million lives
Would he have dreamt of Ms. Holling.

But watching as she slumbered
He saw with his own eyes
A smile on Lina's face he recognised
And Gimli thought

Why me?
I'm just a dwarf without a mine
Why here?
Inside this crazy uni 'verse
Why now?
When she's in classes all the time
Why her?
She was a Legoluster first!

Now I'm not one to second-guess
A blessing from above...
But isn't this a strange way
To fall in love?

Just think of how it could have been
If Lina had got what she desired
She would have been with Legolas
And never known her Gimli's fire

But as the school year closes
They come to say goodbye
And Gimli looks into his Lina's eyes
And Gimli thinks

Why me?
I'm just a dwarf without a mine
(Dwarf without a mine)
Why here?
Inside this crazy uni 'verse
Why now?
(Why now?)
When she's in classes all the time
Why me?
I was a Legoluster first!

Now I'm not one to second-guess
A blessing from above...
But isn't this a strange way
To fall in love?

hS

Twelve Flowers bick'ring
Eleven days in FicPsych
Ten minis playing
Nine Time Lords healing
Eight disentanglers
Seven pyros burning
Six bells a-ringing
Five hours with Molly
Four Sue Soufflés
Three C-CADs
Two agents crazed
And a CAF's hide for Luxury!

After "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" by Irving Berlin(!), although I was following the Doris Day lyrics as recorded here. The original song is actually quite repetitive, so I've loosened up the rhyme scheme significantly. Entire verses also repeat, so I've only written each verse once for space's sake.

The filk leans more towards general canon love, and doesn't involve the PPC directly. Couldn't help it; that's just how the song wrote itself. Nesh, if you don't want it in the songbook, that's fine. I'm also worried it sounds too much like I'm dissing AUs and other goodfic that doesn't follow canon; my intent is that it's just about a good book (etc.) always being a reliable and unchanging companion.

Fandom's imploding, fics are exploding
But canon weathers the harm
What do I care how many fics swarm?
I've got canon to keep me warm!

I can't recall a worse shipping brawl
But I keep back from the brink
What do I care how many ships sink?
I'll always have my canon link!

Down with the inserts, down with the pairs
Back to the canon, you'll see how it fares
Flames are brightening, but my soul's lightening
And I can float high above
The fandom wank, I've had enough of
My heart is filled with canon love!

Out with the movies, any adaptation
Just cannot fill me with sad consternation
I know the form my world has always worn
Fills me with love to keep me warm!

I have a bunch of ideas for songs...I'll probably post the one that makes me cringe the least tomorrow. :)

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth- or in this case, All I Want From Upstairs Is A Vacation. ...enjoy?


"I really love this job!" said nobody
Those vacation hours are gone you see
And I know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish from Upstairs, see
is as plain as it can be!

All I want from Upstairs
is a vacation,
a vacation,
just a vacation!

Gee, if I could only
have a vacation,
then I could finally
be happy!

It seems so long since I could say,
"Man, Upstairs is really kind and thoughtful!"
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
if I could only relax- [BEEP!]

All I want from Upstairs
is a vacation,
a vacation,
a vacation.

Gee, if I could only
have a vacation,
then I could finally
Be happy!

This sprang into my head a few days ago, inspired by Henry Robinson's origins as an Mpreg baby. Maybe a little NSFW due to the subject matter—gotta set the right tone for these things, doncha know—so please exercise discretion reading on.

Harry Potter Had a Baby Boy (Get the Debugger!)

To the tune of "The Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy," a traditional Trinidad Christmas carol.

Oh, Harry Potter had a baby boy
Oh, Harry Potter had a baby boy
Oh, Harry Potter had a baby boy
And he birthed it through his anus.

It came from his colon,
It came from that wizard kid's colon!
It came from his colon,
It came from that wizard kid's colon!
Get the debugger!
Get the debugger!
It came from his colon,
It came from that wizard kid's colon!

The agents wept when the baby was born
The agents wept when the baby was born
The agents wept when the baby was born
What's become of little Albus?

He fell through a plothole,
He fell through a buggery plothole!
He fell through a plothole,
He fell through a buggery plothole!
Get the debugger!
Get the debugger!
He fell through a plothole,
He fell through a buggery plothole!

Oh, Snape, he saw when the baby was born
Oh, Snape, he saw when the baby was born
Oh, Snape, he saw when the baby was born
What's become of our Severus?

He knocked up poor Harry,
He knocked up that poor Harry Potter!
He knocked up poor Harry,
He knocked up that poor Harry Potter!
Get the debugger!
Get the debugger!
He knocked up poor Harry,
He knocked up that poor Harry Potter!

The agents charged, for the baby was born
The agents charged, for the baby was born
The agents charged, for the baby was born
And they debugged the little fetus.

They took it to HQ,
They took it to Headquarters, woo hoo!
They took it to HQ,
They took it to Headquarters, woo hoo!
Get the debugger!
Get the debugger!
And take it to HQ,
And take it to Headquarters, woo hoo!

---

... I kinda feel like I should apologize for that. Be more classy than me, guys! ^_^; I'm working on something better, too.

~Neshomeh

Please disregard. The all-knowing Nesh and hS have informed me that I'm being a bloody fool. The thing I wrote is unshared, and I know how beta-ing works a little bit better now.

If you would like for me to proofread SPaG in the future, my e-mail is my username in lower case at gmail dot com, substituting punctuation where necessary.

Though you might want to keep this in mind: Neshomeh speaks wisely about beta reading usually being a closed-quarters thing. Publicly posting un-beta-read writing for the evaluation of others straight away may not be a good idea in the long-term. If you want to start up with missions of your own, you might want to take things slowly, do all the required reading before jumping into anything, and ask for advice about how to do things whenever you feel like you need it. I've seen people have a falling out with this community because they don't do any of those things, and believe me, it wasn't pretty! I don't want that to happen with you as well, because if people get upset around here, it may taint the image of our community and prevent people from appreciating it for what it is.

Anyway, I'll take a look at the document pretty soon, though it might take a while due to research. We'll see how it goes!

Four days ago, you said you don't expect Permission yet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I sorta figured that by "yet" you meant "at least in the near to mid future," since you mentioned you wanted to take time to learn more about writing. Tell me what's going through your head right now, 'cause I don't get it.

Also, for future reference, it's generally frowned upon to post links to unfinished pieces. Posting stuff to the Board is publishing to the Board, and you don't want to publish until you're past the beta stage. See this page for information on how to appropriately seek for and use a beta.

~Neshomeh

Starting tomorrow morning. I've provided my email, so be sure to share the document with that account, OK? :)

I love mathematics. It's mentally stimulating, and keeps my brain from going completely to rot. Hell, sometimes when I'm unable to play games/read/watch TV/whatever, I'll just start doing math problems out of sheer boredom, just so my brain doesn't go to waste.

I'd try to use physics in the things I write... but unfortunately, I failed that class. The only class I've EVER failed, actually. That was very upsetting at the time, and failure is something I've never gotten used to.

I'd love to be able to incorporate it, though. Like explaining to a Sue just how much force that bullet is packing. Said bullet is as thick as my thumb, and being fired from an anti-tank rifle.

But I'm currently in my second year of maths at Uni. I love maths, not all parts of maths I'll admit (Damned statistics) but as a whole and as a subject it's a real beauty of a thing to study. I've always liked maths, and I've always been good at it, and I've watched others through my school life just struggle at it, and indeed, especially in GCSE, using sayings like the ones you've mentioned. I think, in some ways there is discipline to be learnt through maths, but it's got to be uncovered, and that is where most people fall short, they can't do it for whatever reason and after their education is finished they leave maths behind quoting "I'll never need it again." Forgetting how much it'll still crop up in their everyday lives (it is an interesting thought, think about just how much maths comes into your lives on a normal day).

The thing is however, that at the moment at Uni, I'm really starting to see just where Maths comes into play in the real world, Statistics being used to not just find out probabilities but being used so that trials for life changing drugs can be done quickly, efficiently and effectively, I see Operational Research algorithms and the like that can be applied to anything from making sure trains and planes run on time to making sure your favourite store doesn't run out of stock of a particular item and making sure it makes as much a profit (at the lowest cost) possible, we've used programming languages to sort out huge quantities of data for us and then work out whether the normal distribution applies to it or not, whilst we can also write code to make a program solve a quartic equation at the press of a button.
The thing I'm trying to say is that maths ISN'T useless, it's not something that just belongs back at the classroom and has no real place at work, it's a really beautiful thing, a language that is expressed in so many ways and that expresses the fundamental workings of our society today. It's a real shame people want to tun their back on mathematics, because if they continue to do so they may just continue to turn their backs on the society they know and love, and watch it fall to pieces.

Storme Hawk

An afterthought: Have you seen how many people need a calculator to add things up these days?

I hate math.

I've struggled to scrape by in my math classes since fifth grade, though I've had problems since third grade. (It took me three months longer than everyone else to finally figure out how long division worked.) Someone asks me what 6x2 is, I panic and answer 24. For some reason, I have math anxiety and it all kind of steamrolls into one big vicious cycle: I panic, I mess up, I think 'I can't do this', I panic more. I wish I could say I was kidding when I say I had to retake a semester of Algebra II because I flunked it.

Of course, I suppose it could stem from my fifth grade teacher, who took an immense disliking to me on the first day. She started taking off points because I'd answer a question as .23 instead of 0.23, even though they're worth exactly the same. And she always belittled me, my math especially. I don't know why.

And pre-calculus really killed it for me when my teacher kept insisting polar coordinates were absolutely necessary for pilots. When I asked my dad (who is a pilot) about polar coordinates, he just gave me a blank look and said, "What?" He'd never heard of them and after I explained them, he said he's never had to use them in his twenty-some years of flying.

Numbers just don't 'click' for me. Even when presented with a simple problem, all I see is scribbles for a moment before I'm like, 'oh, numbers'. My parents had me tested for dyscalculia, but nope, that's not it either.

Tl;dr I either have some illogical hatred of math thanks to a vicious cycle of self-pity or my fifth grade teacher instilled it in me. Sorry if you were expecting an eloquent comparison of math to language. ^_^'

That I like as long as I understand what the problem wants me to do and how I'm supposed to do it. Which means I'm probably not going to take higher-level math courses like calculus or physics, but I'm perfectly all right with algebra and statistics and whatnot. Is this an acceptable thing to tell myself?

I love your theory, by the way. Why didn't my math teachers ever tell me that math taught discipline?!

Math is down there in the list of languages I don't want to study, along with Chinese (too complicated), Bahasa Indonesia (too obscure) and Etruscan (deader than Latin which, I might add, is the coolest language ever).

Personally, I have never really understood the vehemence with which some students dislike math. So far as I can determine, though, it is exactly like you describe it. They try this or that once, and when it doesn't immediately click they simply through their hands in the air in disgust and give up.

I grew up in an area with very high educational standards, and I was raised with that critical understanding that learning is crucial to one's success in life. Let me preface my next statement by saying that my old home was not some intellectual paradise, and I was often among those who simply phoned it in on certain mathematical principles when they were beyond my grasp.

That said, I moved for my last year of high school to a part of the country rather infamous for its low educational standards, and it was very noticeable from day one. Most glaringly, I was assigned to a math class teaching concepts I had learned two years before like they were new material. Obviously, this is simply a case of different curricula not lining up exactly, and we later went over at least one concept that I had learned more recently at the old school.

Still, my new home is worth mentioning because of the values dissonance that I noticed in just about every one of my new peers. I'm in a part of the country now that puts very little weight or import on education, and sometimes glorifies the state of being uneducated. Even among my naturally more intelligent friends, apathy toward their grades and the educational system in general is the norm.

This was noticeable in more subtle ways, as well. The standard of living for my teachers declined, the library shrunk, and the maintenance of the school itself went downhill. Both of the schools I attended were nearly equivalent as far as proximity to an urban center, the number of students present, and the classes offered. That said, the new school received a smaller budget and spent a larger percentage of that budget on funding the sports teams and various extra-curricular activities rather than the library or more advanced classes.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy the dances or the block party, and being the top student in several classes was definitely a good feeling, but sometimes I wonder how much more I would have learned if that last year had been in the same school as all the others instead of somewhere far away.

I have phrased it exactly that way for years and get immensely frustrated when people don't understand. I agree with every point. Actually, I do have this to add:

Physics is, as you said, fundamentally how we explain the phenomena of the universe, how it all fits together and works to create that which we experience. Mathematics is the language of physics--not just of the sweeping and grandiose gravitational movement of the stars and of our more familiar interactions, but of the workings of the tiniest subatomic particles and forces.

Language that is the language of literature is the language of the soul, if you will. It is what describes those experiences, life, emotion... everything so hard to define with science (even when we can quantify it with chemical reactions in the brain), and even use it to reach out beyond that other language. It is also a language of concept and which can be explored for its own sake, but it's all ultimately about that communication of experience. The interesting thing about mathematics is that like language, it can be explored for its own sake. It can be pure concept and abstraction, of concept and abstraction, but so many things considered 'pure math' have become applicable, and it often is--even if only by creating something astonishing.

How do I feel about this? One of the most wonderful days of my life, when I nearly cried, was seeing a proper real analysis derived proof of the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. The way logic fit together, as the logic of mathematics must, was nearly heartbreaking.

Mathematics helps describe light, and therefore color, color which then gets combined for any number of arts. Mathematics aids in construction, of life, of architecture, of sets for theater performances. It can create glorious vector maps, fractals--algorithms are used to make those visualizations of what is being played in some music player programs. Mathematics is at the heart of music itself, in the vibrations of the air, in the ratios which determine what note is played, in the very rhythms and at least Western notation. Music taught me fractions. The two are inextricably intertwined.

In the sixth and fifth centuries BCE, Pythagoras proposed the Music of the Spheres. Today, string theory posits that at the heart of everything, tiny strings somehow vibrate to determine what tiny particle exists, or what force. From that possible tiny son to our everyday improvisational chaos to the endless dance of the stars, mathematics describes it all.

Mathematics is the language of the universe.

I have never been able to conceive of anything more beautiful than that.

Er, trolls; beg pardon.

The problem with trolls is that, depending on their 'quality', it's hard to tell whether they are trolls. I mean, Kelly the Roman Warrior was a fairly obvious troll - but what about Thorin's Little Princess? It had the 'random things just sort of happen', and the 'most of the story is just the script', and several people thought it might be a troll. But is it? Or is it just a badly-done story?

Then there's... well, it's not quite Poe's Law, but it comes close: there's never been a troll so outrageous that it wasn't matched by at least one real badfic.

Finally, there's the fact that 'troll' is an accusation against the author. Even if only actually said of the fic, you're still attributing intent to the author. Which isn't what we do around here.

Extra-finally, really outrageous trolls tend to be... kind of boring to mission. If a story consists of:

So Legolas and Harry Potter met Edward Cullen and then Queen Amidala went to the Ringworld and fought Captain Kirk's baby and Pikachu slept with Jack Sparrow and-

... all badly-spelled and with every character a mini, what story are you going to tell with the agents? They'd just stand around looking baffled. And I have a feeling that 'not definitely a troll' and 'incoherent' overlap, so there's few-to-no clear trolls worth a mission.

That said, we do have a Troll Division, as others have said. No idea how they operate, though apparently Bad Parody seeks out, uh, the spirit of the author and kills it? I don't think that'd fly any more... though NytBloomer is noted for her dodgy terminology. It may be that Bad Parody and Trollfics alike have a troll 'puppetmaster' sitting around somewhere manipulating the characters; or maybe it just possesses them. It's likely to be up to the first person to actually write a mission of that kind; did you say there were some?

hS

As doctorlit said, the Department of Bad Parody would handle trollfics, but it's a tad lacking in actual missions. We HAVE actually tackled trollfics before, though. The first such mission I remember reading would have to be that Twilight one by Evie and the Fisherman, and there's also the one I myself tackled on my second mission as well. Both are from Floaters, though I suspect the All-Purpose Department may have also tackled some from their specific fandoms as well.

The Department of Bad Parody has a Troll Division that, well, yeah. The title gives it away.

Unfortunately, no missions from within the division itself have been published yet. All we have is an interlude and a character journal.

Soooo . . . it would totally be super-cool to see this old department/division see some modern-day love!

Drawing on both the current MyMiniCity map and the Wiki page, I've thrown together a guide to the known locations in New Cal.

A Brief Guide to New Caledonia

It also includes a link to a 'street map' of the city, in Excel.

If you know of any other locations with either descriptions or addresses, do let me know and I'll add them. (I'm about to add C.A. Milverton's - For All Your Discreet, Personal NEEDS)

hS

... that no-one has at any time extended their job description to include the New Caledonia annex, and nor have they been asked to take care of it. In fact, they would vehemently oppose any proposal that they do so, since, quote, "It's bad enough fixing up inside HQ - at least corridors are narrow!"

The Nightshade, as Head of Operations, would also like to take this opportunity to highlight that despite multiple requests, her budget has never been expanded to account for New Cal. According to her, If the DIA, DoSAT, Finance, and even the rotting DOOCH are allowed a New Caledonia Branch, why in the multiverse will no-one grant one to Operations?

The Marquis de Sod was unavailable to comment, possibly due to laughing too hard.

hS

PS: I assume from the 'plus side' that this is based off the current state of the MyMiniCity? I might work up a map again, it's been long enough.

Welcome from both of us! The Zlang-Zlang Squid would like to offer you a shiny pebble as your welcome gift!

I've read the books (though more may have come out) and seen the first movie, but kinda got turned off of said movie by the complete canon-change.

Still, I got through it by headcanoning that the movie-Hiccup wasn't the Third, but Hiccup the First. (I know, it probably calls him "the Third" in the movie. Let me hold onto my beloved book-canon. ;_;)

Still, I'll probably watch subsequent movies eventually.

Have an insubstantial kitten!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have a Terrible Terror with a dark grold collar, and one of my own shed feathers besides! :)

(So that's who's been making those edits!) Nice to meet you! Have some Chocolate Frogs and a mostly-historically-accurate Viking helmet!

Also, don't worry about getting Permission just yet. We don't generally let people who are too new have it. I'm sure many of us have asked you this already, but have you read the Original Series yet? If not, you should do so; it's fun, it's informative, and a lot of our longest-running jokes come from it. :)

Enjoy your stay!

And ERMEHGERD YOU READ RANGER'S APPRENTICE! In lieu of that, I bestow upon thee as thy newbie gift: a howling pocket heron! If the urple bow around its neck becomes too much, feel free to remove it.

But... only some HP? How is this possible?! Nah, kidding. But I seriously recommend you finish it. The Big Reveal will blow you away.

Anyway, welcome a'Board. I hope you enjoy your time in our little den of insanity.

hS

You're actually allowed to deal with badfics as an admin? As a former admin of a Power Rangers fanfic wiki I am jealous. What brings you to the PPC?

You'll probably be getting a lot of newbie gifts soon, so here's a bottomless bag to put them all in. Don't worry, it has lots of pockets so you shouldn't lose anything inside.

Hioooh!

Have a double-urple thrower! It's like a flamethrower, only it throws urple!

Warning: Agent Glocker is not responsible for what you do with your double-urple thrower, and all warnings and cautions for using the urple thrower should be read and acknowledged before use.

*The rest of the warnings and cautions/ use instructions have been scratched off the launcher, the words 'Lies, all Lies!' written on the side.*

I am Voyd, eccentric extraordinaire.

Here, have a chicken pot pie.

...is there anyone around here aside from Iximaz who has an interest in Disney/Pixar? I'm working on a second draft for a little secret something relevant to this discussion, and I might need one or two more beta-readers for it.

As a general response to everyone who replied to my original question: In hindsight, an OFU with that broad of a scope may have indeed been a bit too much. Especially with regards to Huinesoron's statement that OFUs are free for anyone to write, so one could crop up for any particular continuum in theory. On the other hand, most of these fandoms are small enough that Iximaz does make a valid point about a Disney/Pixar OFU to cover the films produced by those companies (both the 2D stuff like the Disney Princesses and the 3D stuff like Pixar). Besides, a Disney/Pixar mega-crossover does technically exist in the form of Disney Infinity, though it doesn't have a Subspace Emissary-style story mode yet AFAIK.

A possible compromise would be as follows: At the Ohio State University, where I attend, we have a 'main' college in Columbus, but also a number of affiliated campuses in Lima, Mansfield, Marion, and Newark. The OFUs for the animated film anthologies made by specific companies (Disney/Pixar, Dreamworks, Studio Ghibli, Blue Sky Studios...) could work in the same way - there are 'hub' OFUs that cover everything affiliated with the particular studio, but for those who still want OFUs to exist in specific continua and take care of specific fandoms like HTTYD or Frozen, the 'hub' OFU could have multiple divisions or 'campuses' distributed throughout the various worlds. Then anyone can write a specific division and tie it back to the main OFU for in-universe consistency.

Again, this hasn't actually been put into practice yet, but it's the best solution I can think of. If anyone has a better alternative, though, I'm all ears for it.

OFUs, as stories, are written by people who want to write them, not 'according to need'. If someone decides they want to write, let's say a Prince of Egypt OFU (FF.net story total: 179), but decides not to because you/someone else has already briefly mentioned it in OFUAnimation - or even potentially could - then you've cut down on the number of people writing stories. That's a negative, in my view.

The key point here is the difference between in-universe and out-of-universe. In-universe, yes, it would make sense for the 'minor OFUs' to all be combined in one, in the same way that it would make sense for there to be a vast number of PPC agents working in Star Wars, Percy Jackson, and all the other popular fandoms. But out-of-universe, people write what they want to write. In missions, that means random obscure fandoms get a mission (like Flatland), while seriously huge ones don't because no-one on the Board is invested enough in them. In OFUs, it means... basically the same thing: the fandoms covered are the ones people want to write for, not the ones that 'need it most'.

I feel I should also point out, in case of anyone getting confused, that the PPC has no authority over OFUs. Miss Cam has said anyone can write them, and that's the end of that. Your phrasing says you know this and are essentially using us as a sounding Board, which is absolutely fine; just making sure no-one gets tangled up in it.

hS

First of all, I'd say that a lot of badfic trends are really similar, period. Something like a Tenth Walker may seem fandom specific in theory, but in practice it's the same basic principle as any other brand new character who joins the main characters. The specific ways in which they break canon are what vary from fandom to fandom. You could argue that the true focus of OFUs is breaking their students from these universal bad fannish habits, but you need something a little more specific to focus on in order to make it unique.

Honestly, I also feel like there would be a tendency for this to fall into the trap of pepper-jack cheese, or other pitfalls found in mega-crossovers. Maybe this is just a personal issue, as I tend not to be fond of super-fandoms; they just tend to feel really forced to me. But I feel like it would just turn into All-My-Personal-Favorites OFU. Even in your proposal, I noticed that you only mentioned 3D animated movies by Disney/Pixar or DreamWorks. Where do the Disney Princesses fit into this, just as an example?

Like Iximaz mentioned, I could maybe see one for a group of movies that are thematically connected, like a Disney OFU. Especially since Disney has a preexisting trend of characters from different movies interacting with each other. But a general animated movie OFU is just too big.

If there's a single series you want to focus on, just go with that one. Numbers aren't everything - HTTYD may only have one-fifth the fic count of LOTR, but there's been a Discworld OFU and it only has ~2000 fics.

At first, I was a bit hesitant toward the idea, because all the OFUs I've read/read about cover one fandom only. However, like SkarmorySilver pointed out, the separate fandoms have so little badfic in comparison to the 'Big Names' that combining them all into one OFU would make a certain amount of sense.

I'm still reluctant to say 'sure, why not' to an OFU for all animated movies, but, say, a Disney OFU, or a Pixar OFU, or a Dreamworks OFU on its own could be feasible. But throwing all animated movies into one OFU seems a bit much.

Of course, the distinction becomes a bit murkier when you take into consideration the number of popular, say, Disney/Pixar films. Still, I'm not the ultimate authority on this sort of thing, so... what does everyone else think?

Welcome back, even if this may technically be the first time we've met! Here, have one of my shed feathers and a live, paleontologically accurate Rhamphorhynchus!

And as for DGtTB, I just looked up the KYM entry... Dear Arceus, NAWP. Can't tell whether it's legendary or not though, sorry. I'm not a Gravity Falls fan.

Have a belated purple platypus plushie! And then try saying that five times fast...

You also get a dinosaur plushie of your choice. Because dinosaurs!

It's time for some birthday math. Are you ready?


So, how far have you moved around the galactic centre? It's a remarkably easy question to answer! First, we find the Sun's angular speed around the core.

ω = 2π; / 225*10^6 years ≈ 2.7925 * 10^(-8) radians / year

We know that the distance of the Sun from the Galactic Core is about R =10^18 km. We can then use the good ol' arc length formula you've learnt in high school:

Arc = ω*R = 2.7925 * 10^10 km travelled.


Technically speaking, this isn't the exact distance you've travelled-- this is assuming that the Sun's orbit is perfectly circular (that is, the Sun's eccentricity is equal to 0) but the application of Kepler's Third Law to find the exact orbital period requires the exact distance from the core's centre of mass (which is difficult to find) and the mass of the core itself (which I am too lazy to look up).

Anyways, you'd better cash in those frequent flyer miles before they go to waste!

Many happy returns and stuff.
-Offers tea, scones, jam and stuff-
Yes, I have this verbal tic and stuff.

I'd bake you a cake, but I can't bake. Have an internet cake!
|||_|
/~~~~~<br>

As per usual, have the Birthday Song!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

And thank you for the repellant. Yesterday I did a Circle dive and tried out a few of the car quizzes.

The horror. The horror.

*gives Lily a Generic Birthday Present (TM) before passing out)

-- whoops, no, you've missed it. Blasted planet moves too fast.

Happy birthday!

hS

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY CONGRATS AND HUZZAH!

From both of us XD

Pay attention, turn stuff in, and you should be fine. Junior year will be the busiest, so enjoy being a freshman/sophomore while it lasts. Good luck!

Okay, bear with me on this.

The earliest date I'm aware of for the PPC is the publication of 'Clan of the Cactus' in March 2002. Miss Cam's site says that there were four other spinoffs before that, plus TOS. Assuming Miss Cam has the early spinoffs in chronological order, the very first spinoff story (Architeuthis' original Intelligence report) must post-date the first mention of Makes-Things in TOS3.

Reviews for CotC make it clear that TOS was banished from FF.net on May 11th 2002; by May 16th, Philosopher at Large had rehosted them. At the time they were banished, they'd already written 14 missions. That's 14 missions in the six months since Fellowship was released, which is quite impressive, but I'm straying from my point.

All indications are that Jay and Acacia began writing the PPC just as soon as the first movie came out, so in December '01 or January '02. That means this month or next is our thirteenth birthday. And, uh...

Are you actually younger than the PPC?

hS

(Also, y'know, congrats, well done, etc etc. I'm not good at remembering social niceties.)

It's not like high school ate my soul

Nah, I'm kidding. As long as you study, I think you'll be fine. *offers hug*

Not a stereotypical Mary Sue? The idea of a bumbling Sue who fails at Suishness amuses me.

But! Plothole filling! Or at least lampshade hanging.



"So, um... my mother was moonlight? How does that even work?" the Sue asked. "And why are there Legos getting married?"

"I don't think you're getting into the spirit of these things, Luna," her father said.

"And why would moonlight name me Luna, anyway?" Luna muttered, before splitting into two Lunas.

"Waugh! What's going on?" they asked in unison.

Her father chuckled. "Oh, don't worry. You're a perfectly normal girl girl."

Luna morphed back into one girl, sighed, and walked away. Sadly, she walked onto a rope made of thenth and couldn't keep her balance, so she fell off the cliff and died.

Then someone picked her up and threw her into Middle Earth, but she was already dead, so it didn't really matter.

Clear as mud

What happens when Percu gets forced to join the army of Chaos and Annabeth is under the influence of Kronos? Well tea don to find out..this ist first fanfic so pls give it a try...percabeth with hints of thalico

(Spoilers for... ehm... technically I guess everything up to Son of Neptune. But not for the most recent book, because I haven't read it yet)

"So after Pingu-"

"His name's Percy."

"Sure, whatever." The faun waved a hand dismissively. "After Percu brought the five rivers of the Underworld together, the ancient god Chaos appeared. And Chaos was like, 'Join me,' and Percu was like, 'Noooooo,' and Chaos was like, 'But thou must!' and Percu was like, 'Okay.'"

The young daughter of Ceres shook her head. "Why are we listening to this, again?"

"Because you wanted to know about the War," her friend (son of Bacchus) pointed out. "Please, do continue."

"Oh, sure." The faun beamed. "So that Annadeth girl-"

"Annabeth."

"Sure, her, she'd breathed in some of old Kronos' dust, and she was all 'I AM THE TITAN LORD REBORN', and Pingu was like, 'AND I AM THE HERALD OF CHAOS', and then..." The faun frowned and looked around. "Hey, where's my tea?"

"You finished it," said the son of Bacchus.

"Yeah, and then ate the cup," his friend added.

"Well, that won't do," the faun sniffed. "Make me some more!"

Rolling his eyes, the wine god's son picked up the kettle and poured hot water into a fresh mug, then handed it to his friend to add the leaves. The faun took the tea, sipped, and sighed contentedly. "That's good. Percabeth with just a hint of thalico - lovely. Thanks, kids."

"You're welcome, Don," the younger demigod said. "Now, the story...?"

---

Come on, 'tea don to find out'? 'percabeth with hints of thalico'? This was a beverage joke waiting to happen. And the fact that there's an actual character called Don (the faun) in Son of Neptune... yeah, it wrote itself.

hS

This is my first try, so... yeah. I have no regrets. >:)

Lord of the Rings- Daughter of Moonlight

"That is it," the plastic brick groaned, while the human above him shrieked and clutched at her foot in pain. "This is the last time I'll be stepped on! No more!" The brick rolled itself upright and began chanting in a strange tongue- the ancient language of Legomancy.

There was a bang and a flash of moonlight, and the stupid, lumbering human who dared to step on the brick vanished.

"Thank goodness that's over," the Lego muttered.

Harry Potter (Drug use warning still applies.)
"Dude, boys, I swear," Draco said. His eyes were roving everywhere except the two people he was speaking to. "Potter, Weasley and Granger were having a three-way! And they're all in Hufflepuff now, and they were sitting in a Pensieve! I swear!"

Crabbe and Goyle turned to each other, very slowly, then turned back to their friend.

"Pomfrey?"

"Pomfrey."

As they began to drag Draco towards the hospital wing, he protested. "No! No, wait! 'Cause, because Potter's grandparents were there! Like, did they even get mentioned before? I don't think they have names! I swear it's all true! Guys . . ."

Harry and Hermione watched the scene play out from afar.

"I swear, Hermione, wizard-born kids just have no tolerance for pot."

"Seems not! Another toke?"

"Yes, please."

Twilight
"I'm back!"

"Hello, Bella," said Charlie Swan. "How was college?"

Bella's face fell. "Sorry, Dad. I never turned around to look back, so it just turned out to be another piece of fruit." She held up an apple.

"Oh, honey," her father said, stern but pitying, "that's three four-year periods in a row!"

Bella kept looking at the floor. "I know."

"Well, hopefully, it will work out next time. Just remember, on your first day of class, look around and make sure it's a school and not a piece of fruit."

"Okay." Bella set the apple on the dining table. She and her father stared.

"That would make for a decent-looking book logo."

"Yeah, it would."

Star Wars (Wait. Did Anakin ever even meet Grievous? Oh, right. That scene on the bridge . . .)
"You lose, General Kenobi." Grievous jabbed one tip of the electrostaff into the frontal window of the Invisible Hand. The material cracked once, twice, then shattered outwards as the air in the bridge rushed out into the vacuum of space.

Grievous allowed himself to be pulled through; he had nothing to fear from the cold, airless galaxy, unlike the two human Jedi. Moving backwards through space, Grievous watched as they fumbled for something to hold onto. He looked for a solid surface to shoot his grappling tether to—but a sudden bright light made him look back at the bridge.

Just in time to watch a blue lightsaber approach on a fast trajectory, disappearing under Grievous' chin.

Back on the ship, with the emergency blast doors having sealed the bridge again, Obi-Wan appraised his padawan with a raised eyebrow. Both Jedi had seen Grievous in two separate pieces just before they shut.

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said even as he began to fumble with the ship's controls. "I couldn't keep my grip."

"A shame," said Obi-Wan. "But I suppose we can't argue with seeing two powerful enemies fall in one morning."

Anakin fell silent, thinking about his murder of the captures Dooku earlier.

Behind them, Senator Palpatine smiled. He had sensed Grievous's life force fade away moments ago; now, he felt the doubt and fear in Anakin Skywalker's mind deepen further.

Good, he thought. Very good.

(Oops. that was goodfic, wasn't it? Um . . .)

Avengers
"Hi!" said Nick Furry, an anthropomorphic ermine, because ermines don't get enough publicity. "You're cute!"

"Oh, balls," moaned the frost giant. "I hope I melt soon."

"I'm going to hug you and squeeze you and love you all to bits!"

A shot rang out, and Nick Furry's head exploded.

"Ah, hell nah!" said Nick Fury. "We are not even going to entertain this prompt. Yo, frost giant: Avenger's Initiative. You in?"

"Ragnarok, yeah!"

(I think that's all I've got this time.)

Great mission, just when I think badfics can't get any worse I get proved wrong every time.

It's a good mission overall, but I've noticed a recurring trend in your missions. You seem to typically focus more on expanding Rina's character than Randa's. The Ranger's Apprentice mission departs from this trend somewhat, but even there the conclusion focuses mostly on Rina's family.

It's a perfectly logical situation; since Rina is your own character, I'm guessing you feel more comfortable fleshing her out than you do establishing facts about a character that you're borrowing. However, it gives off an overall feel that Rina is the main character and Randa is her sidekick, as opposed to them getting equal billing, so to speak. I enjoy you writing and character development, so I'd like to see more of it for Randa as well!

Man, did that Sue get all of her knowledge of romance from Twilight?

*shudders at the thought*

On a different note, however, it seems that I have not caught any grammar errors! There is, however, a paragraphing error. You need a paragraph break before the sentence Randa sat next to her friend, stroking her hair, since you are switching speakers from Rina to Randa at that point.

Because I realised I was about to start listing things, so I handed the job over to Terri.

Your review

hS

...that Ginger-Wise has been transferred into the capable hands of TheShyIon.

I would just like to point out that I hadn't finished betaing it. I get that you're excited to get a new mission out, but in the future could you at least email your beta's to check that they're finished before you post it on the board?

Stoked to finally see this up! Grats on mission 5, and the next one will be quite entertaining...

We should have something like that on the East Coast of the US. I would come even though I hardly know anyone anymore. :)

It seems that you had quite an adventure at the British Museum.

One of those things about Gathering pictures: people rarely look the same way you imagine that they would. For example, hS, I vaguely expected you to wear glasses...

One of these days, I'll make it to a Gathering. >_>

It looks like you guys had a ton of fun with Voldemort! I've always wanted to go to the British Museum...

I do think you're trying to make the effort to fit in and learn the ropes around here, so thank you for doing that. But... you're still making the same mistakes.

-You've already posted a request for a beta. eatpraylove and SkarmorySilver replied. There was no need to make a new thread to ask again.
--Specifically, you've had quite a few people point out that making new threads pushes old ones off. With that in mind, making a new thread as a repeat of an old one could be characterised as... shall we go with 'thoughtless'? It's the same as making multiple badfic threads (which you have not done, just so's you don't think I'm accusing you); we're all capable of scrolling down, so don't repeat yourself while a previous thread saying is still up. And if a thread drops off without getting the replies you want - let it go. People saw it, they just didn't have anything to say.
---And yeah, that can hurt. I've had three recent things I really wanted to see people reply to, but... no-one was interested, and so I let them drift away.

-Neshomeh said on the 14th 'Four days ago, you said you don't expect Permission yet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I sorta figured that by "yet" you meant "at least in the near to mid future," since you mentioned you wanted to take time to learn more about writing.'. You, uh, are still doing that, right here. You said on your returning thread that 'I've been gone for so long, I'd need to restart the "get to know everyone" process anyway'. Ten days really isn't enough time to do that.

Sit back. Comment on threads that you didn't start. Don't try to drag things out of the Board - accept what it gives you. Because honestly, we're giving out insanity, frivolity, and good times with both hands here - you just need to join in. Don't spend your time sitting on the sidelines waiting to start your next thread.

hS

I just thought of another potentially problematic continuum.

Touhou. I can see the PPC having problems with it for several reasons.

1) Unless I'm very much mistaken, very few cast members have fully established personalities. How could we discern what's OOC?

2) Almost every single character has a story-breaker power. This includes, but is not limited to, Flandre Scarlet (who can destroy anything in her line of sight), Sakuya Izayoi (who controls time and space), Reimu Hakurei (whose power of floating extends to floating away from reality), Yuyuko Saigyouji (who can make anything die), and Yukari Yakumo (who can do whatever the hell she feels like). How would you discern a Sue in the midst of all this? An online acquaintance of mine made a Parody Sue (called Marisu, of course), but I don't know how we'd find the genuine article.

3) At least one character would be immune to neuralyzation. Because there are so many loosely-defined powers that encourage creativity on the part of their users, there's bound to be one who can evade memory wiping. For a specific example, Yukari would probably achieve it through something cheesy like manipulating the boundary between vulnerability and immunity, or remembrance and forgetting. (spot the reference!)

Nobody in the PPC has tackled Gensokyo before, and I think I can see why.

I would argue that something like something like 8-Bit Theater has established itself as a spin-off continuum standing on its own. I wouldn't say AU, because as far as I know the webcomic characters are not like the original game characters.

Red vs. Blue is an example of something similar. It's set in the Halo universe, but never really interacts with it directly and has established its own canonical storyline.

IMO, 8-bit Theatre would be an AU. Fanfic would work, I suppose, but the entire thing is an alternate storyline using the same characters (plus a few from the other games) in a more self-referential way. Considering the webcomic has merchandise and a following of its own, I'd say AU bordering on different continuum. It's fanfic almost in a similar way to, say, Nuzlocke comics.

I'm not an expert, though - just my take on it!

You've made two posts in a row, and maybe that would have been better asked on the same thread you asked about Five Nights at Freddy's? There's some really neat stuff going on right now (like filk! and plotholes!) so not pushing them down unnecessarily with a double-post would probably be better.

Especially when your previous post had people explaining this to you. It makes it seem like you're just using the Board as a FAQ. :(

Does this mean that I can discuss other things that I'm interested in? Because I don't have Skyrim... stupid incompatible OS...

Ahem, anyway. I have a couple fandoms I feel I should discuss.

-Monster Musume/Daily Life with Monster GIrl-

My all-time favorite manga, it's an ecchi harem romantic comedy. I'd like to know if there's any really good fanfiction for it... And I also want to know if anyone else here is familiar with it.

It's amazing, but almost every translated volume has opened at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list, and it's never too far from the top 10. It's unbelievable how a short, monthly series about cute monster girls is as popular, if not moreso than things like Bleach and Attack on Titan.

By the way, you can read it here (NSFW): http://mangapark.com/manga/monster-musume-no-iru-nichijou

-8-Bit Theater-

My favorite webcomic. I love the black humor that permeates it, and I feel like some elements would be useful maybe for the PPC. Unlike MonMusu, 8BT has almost NO fanfic, and the few that exist are Fighter/Black Mage friendship fics.



I really hope I didn't misunderstand what you were asking about...

If I could, of course, I would also be productive there.
Amusingly enough the projects I'd dedicate my time to would be Skywind and Skyblivion, so not entirely related to the topic.

As for messing with Skyrim - it's mostly small tweaks to the game to enhance performance (and returning to Argonians the poison immunity which is rightfully theirs)...
...and, as with Oblivion, I am constantly on the lookout for whatever plausible ways I can write up to ensure that a certain family doesn't get slaughtered on my watch.


As for the Companions and other factions, I find them all wanting to a certain degree.
The Companions less than others, even though I do my best to avoid stand-up fights.
The College, well, the quest-line is too short and you're bumped up from new meat to Archmage all too quickly.
Thieves' Guild I haven't quite finished, but it seems to be slightly more combat and slightly less heists now, which is a tad disappointing.
And of course the Dark Brotherhood is a disgrace. Sithis, are they a disgrace. They've always been my favourite faction, though, so loving them is mandatory.

You asked for other fandom discussions? I'm willing to provide.

For those of you that are unaware, LoK is the sequel animated series to Avatar: The Last Airbender. Just two days ago, its grand finale aired on Nick.com. The Airbenderverse, for all intents and purposes, has come to an end in regards to new canon. I've been a fan of the universe since roughly the middle of the second original season. The writing is good, the characters are great, and the world-building blew me away. I'm feeling a bit downcast about seeing it come to an end.

Canonically, anyway. The fandom will continue. Oh my yes. I will not spoil it in this post, but the last scene of that final episode... let's just say that some parts of the Internet are all abuzz with its implications. News hubs like Forbes and Huff Post have even weighed in (so be careful if you search, 'cause there be spoilers out there).

I will admit that I haven't watched the entire series due to things like time and forgetfulness, but I've tried to keep up as best I could. Some parts felt rough to me early on in its run and it's definitely no Last Airbender. That being said, I still really enjoyed most of what I saw. I feel like I need to run through the whole thing one more time before I can make a final judgement, both on the series as a whole and the last episode. Not that I'm complaining.

Has anyone else been following LoK? If so, what are your thoughts on how the series went? The characters? The final episode and that last scene? Will you miss the Airbenderverse, or is it never something you got into?

PC

Skyrim (and, to an extent, much of the Elder Scrolls series as well) is one of those games I should have liked in theory. It's got a lot of good lore surrounding it and the world is incredibly well developed. I just felt that the main plot of the game was less interesting than the world in which is was set. Plus, I will admit that the gameplay never really hooked me. First-person melee combat is not something that I have ever really gotten a handle on, which is one of the reasons why I prefer Bethesda's take on Fallout over this. (The other main reason being that I grew up with the original Fallout whereas didn't find Elder Scrolls until Oblivion.

The experience wasn't all bad. The first time I fought a dragon was flipping' rad. Well, second time -- fighting the dragon with my initial archery-focused character was a bit meh due to how little damage I was doing. The crafting system was pretty neat, too. I think I spent more time with that than actually in combat.

I will conclude by saying that Skyrim had some of my all time favoritevideo game trailers. "But there is one they fear..." So cool.

PC

While I have been told on multiple occasions how good the Elder Scrolls is, and it looks absolutely fascinating, I've never been able to play them because 1) my computer can't support the older games (pathetic, right?) and 2) Skyrim is rated M. So that means a no-go for my mom.

One of these days, I'll be able to properly join in on a discussion. >_>

(530 hours and counting if anyone's wondering)
I've read a couple of fanfics about Skyrim, but not a lot and not anything exceptional (although I may read "Before the Storm" now when I have time).

I've got five main characters that I have sufficiently leveled up (i.e. to over level 30), each of which I'm trying something different with. And about another half a dozen characters that I've experimented with (and not liked). so far I've got a Hunter/Thief Wood Elf level 54, an Assassin/Thief Imperial level 43, a Warrior/Werewolf Breton level 40, a Mage/Assassin in Heavy Armour Dark Elf level 38 and a Vampire/Mage High Elf level 32. Needless to say they all hate a particular elven extremist group, and bar the Wood Elf haven't killed the leader of the dudes atop the mountain (keeping it nicely spoiler free).

Also, I'm looking for a good few mods that add dungeons/quest stuff that are preferably on Steam (and not on Nexus), I've got a few (like Wyrmstooth) but am always looking for more.

Storme Hawk
Who's off to play some more Skyrim now.

About which, as you can tell, I know nothing apart from It's Fantasy, and they tried to sue Notch for using the word 'Scrolls'.

So... what sort of world is it? I understand it's quite a detailed one, but it's also post-Tolkien, post-D&D High Fantasy. So what I'm asking is, how extensively does it draw on other fantasy? Are we talking 'a habbit finds Two Rings and fights a balgrog', or is it actually original?

(Well, you said 'other fandoms welcome' - here's as many other fandoms as you can think of. I'm curious!)

hS

I tend to go on Skyrim kicks from time to time depending on if I want to play an RPGS or not. I try to make a character stick, but it always seems to go towards "heavily armored warrior with hints of magic and backstabbing". Maybe I need to limit myself more.

The Companions line was great. I kinda spoiled it for myself by reading the Skyrim page on TVTropes, but it was cool to see how certain characters fleshed out in it. My one gripe with Skyrim's story involves a certain sect of dragon killers you resurrect, and how they order you around so much despite claiming to serve you. Mods help, but it just isn't the same. Anyway, I love the game, can't wait for the next one, and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone that hasn't played yet. The PC version with all DLC is pretty cheap on Steam right now!

...but my mage started out by annoying the Companions. And then going to the university questline. Dark elf lady is awesome.
Of course, since I was level 2, I had to run off and do more main quest stuff. And I suck at bows. My roguey Vah Shir, er, Khadjiit, got her unarmed up to doing 27 or so damage a hit due to some really nice gloves, but I sent her off to do the Thieves' Guild plotline.

"World-saving? Nah, I'm gonna go threaten an inkeeper now."

She is worst Dragonborn. >_
Sorry, I got a bit off-topic and talked about general Skyrim stuff instead of fic. Most Skyrim fanstuff I've seen has been webcomicy things.

Okay, what what what what what?! I decided to check out the original first and-!

I just- I- Katara? And Zuko? What?

*dies*

Luckily the fic looks thoroughly dead, and the TVTropes article doesn't seem to have changed much since I saw it a year ago. But it's fairly noxious despite how short it is.

On a more positive note, there's a sporking of the original here.

No, seriously... wut?!

*curls up in a ball and dies*

Sherlock and Watson are cats? There are cats with peg legs? And the Doctor?

wut even

*sob*

There exists a Bad RP Department, so I would assume that yes, one could PPC bad RPs.

This cookie turned out to be white chocolate M&M!

Makes me feel old, when people celebrate birthdays ending in -teen. :)

If this is the first time I wished you happy birthday, then please take this Delibird (standard warnings apply). Otherwise, have a Starter Pokemon of your choice!

Have some dessert pizza--I hope you like chocolate.

Also, wow, we were born on the same day.

Whether you're a mental one or not. ;)

Have some delicious chocolate pudding!

And, of course, have the Iximaz Birthday Song!

HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
HOPE NOBODY MAKES YOU BLUE
AND YOUR CAKE DOESN'T EXPLODE IN GOO!

Congrats on the big one-eight!