Dec 2014 Archive, part a

Have a snowglobe with a replica of your favorite fictional locale inside!

Have a bottomless bag for storing whatever other gifts you may get--don't worry, it has pockets so you don't lose anything. I'm a Redwall fan (though not as much of one as I used to be); do you have a favorite book in the series?

I think newbie glomping is a thing. Is it still a thing when another newbie is doing it? I'm going to do it anyways. Just to be safe, you understand.

*glomps*

Now that that's over with, have a transparent kitten! Not to be confused with the invisible and nonexistent kittens.

Thanks for the really warm welcome, everyone! As you can see, I survived the tea leaves, and the tea itself was delicious. I had a cup of that along with the popcorn. As far as the urple wristwatch... I can't even really perceive it yet, but thank you! I'm sure the honking messenger pigeon will come in handy, and the protective eye-wear already helped me overcome the tea leaves. Thanks again, everyone!

Interesting choice of a favorite agent: a quick search on the Wiki shows that Bryndan has only done two missions and an MST. Anyway, it's lovely to meet you. Have a pair of safety goggles and some popcorn!

Hi, hello, greetings, &c. Since you've done most of the regular stuff by yourself already, let me just give you this cup of tea - don't let the leaves eat you, willya now?

*taps chin before holding out a digital urple wrist-watch* You should know exactly what this does, what it is for, and how to use it. I don't know quite what it actually does though beyond what it does.

Oh, and of course, it can tell time... if you can actually look at the display.

Welcome aboard, fellow Newbie.

Have a honking messenger pidgeon with an urple now around its neck! Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we have any overlapping fandoms, but no matter. Welcome, and I hope you like it here!

First poke! ^_^

Anyway, hi! Hope you enjoy your stay. Don't forget to leave your sanity at the door - it'll just get broken if you bring it in here.

hS

I seriously want there to be another awesome Star Wars thing.

I really, really do. I mean, Episode Six was the worst of the original trilogy in my opinion, Episodes One through Three were... well, they have a reputation for a reason. Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars series was solid, but not great, and the new Clone Wars series, while it had its moments, generally fell flat for me.

Still, from what I saw in the trailer... if anything looks like it's going to bring the series out of its slump, this is it.

I mean, I think we can all agree the slump-breaker isn't going to be... Star Wars Rebels... *shudders*

So, I'm gonna address each point you made about the trailer.

On X-Wings and TIE fighters:

The X-wing was an impressive workhorse. Even if it was rendered obsolete, it was still impressive in combat, and would take quite a long time to phase out of action. While thirty years seems a bit high, the fact that we know little about the current situation in the galaxy means it may still be the most useful craft. Or, alternatively, the X-Wings shown belonged to the system defense forces on whichever planet that was.

As for TIE fighters, the empire never cared if something was a deathtrap as long as it could do it's job. For the TIE, it was to be cheap to produce, easy to train for, and moderately effective in combat. It is entirely possible that the newer and rarer models, such as the Interceptor and the Phantom, were too expensive for the mass production required to phase out the standard TIE.

On Planet Dustbowl:

Ok, yeah. I'll admit we've spent way too much time there, provided this is Tatooine we're looking at.

The Astromech is simply amusing. Though it's design doesn't seem very useful, it seems like it would be much better suited for the desert than a standard R2 unit. I would assume there are some features or legs built in, similar to the Droideka Design.

And the lightsaber. I'm not gonna lie, I love that lightsaber. I haven't seen a blade so fitting for a Sith in a long time. The blade itself is long, granting reach and advantage for Power Attacks. It isn't built for defense, but Sith don't really consider defense that often, so no real loss there. The crossguard falls into the same situation. It isn't meant for blocking, or deflecting attacks. It's meant to give the Sith another angle to kill you with. Pommel strikes are already a common thing in lightsaber combat, so adding an additional blade or two to take advantage isn't an issue.

I'll be honest, this trailer sent my inner nerd into a frenzy of excitement, which was it's job.

Yeah, sure, they're outdated and stuff, but seeing this:



...this is just too good to miss. Here's to hoping we get to see more spacecraft than just the X-wings.

Oh, wow. That was hilarious, Iximaz. Very enjoyable to read, and the ending...wow.

Well done!

~DF

What really frustrated me when I read this nightmare of a wish-fulfilling "story" is the waste of good ideas.

Although he still loves Ginny, Harry has to marry another woman, because (insert believable magical reason that cannot easily be overcome here); how will Harry, Ginny and the OC deal with this? But the Sue had to remove any potential conflict by pretending that Ginny cheated on Harry, and she is probably under the illusion that she doesn’t still need to come up with a good reason for this marriage when Harry is single again.

James survived Lily’s death and still doesn’t look like the jerk he appeared to be in Severus Snape’s memory because (insert plausible escape story here); how does he cope with the loss, and how will his survival influence Harry’s life? But the Sue just wanted Harry’s daddy back and removed at least half of his redeeming qualities by not telling us the back story.

Sirius had a pregnant wife, or a wife and a small child, when he volunteered to be the Secret Keeper; how did his daring actions affect his family? (Alternatively, Sirius found love when he was on the hunt for Wormtail, it depends on how old his son is supposed to be.) But the Sue just wanted to make Sirius happy after resurrecting him for no apprehensible reason. (Her main story could easily be told without involving Sirius, and without involving James.)

Since he couldn’t find any other place to live in, Remus moved in with his best friend’s son; the Dursleys are not amused when he tries to take in his uncanonical daughter. But the Sue became distracted before she could be introduced to the landlord.

The forbidden love between a Metamorphmagus and a Quileute tribe person creates a shape shifter of capabilities never seen before; can she integrate in either society? This Twilight crossover is farfetched, but it is still more plausible than making Teddy Tonks female, old enough to marry Harry, able to metamorph into a big guy twice her weight and capable of transforming into cats of any size. Being something like the American third cousin once removed of Remus Lupin’s canonical wife (there has to be another Metamorphmagus in her family) would still be sufficient to meet Harry and become involved into the main plot.

Instead of all the plausible potential conflicts we get
• the Sue staring down Dudley for a perceived insult, when she should be glad that somebody already realized that she has to be Harry’s girlfriend and future wife;
• some random gangsters who don’t look like Death Eaters trying to torture Harry’s whereabouts out of James and Sirius when Harry isn’t actually difficult to find;
• and a potentially evil stepmother-to-be coming out of the blue to take the Sue to the hospital when she should be capable to go there on her own

Gaah, I’m overanalyzing this mess, and that’s far less funny than your mission.

HG

When the Sue turned into the "Loin," I almost laughed out loud in the middle of class, which is a good sign.

Well. You found yourself an interesting little fic there, didn'tcha?

Firstly, I love this sentence:

It looked vaguely like a street, if someone described a street to a blind man so he could draw said street with a broken pencil held in his non-dominant fist before proceeding to erase his work.

This is now officially my favorite description of generic, un-described fic space ever.

And I guess I semi-agree with others that this one got a little MST-like, but really, the fic speaks for itself, so that was probably the most efficient way to write this. ("Ha ha, I'm the daughter of a werewolf and my name is 'wolves' spelled backwards, and I turn into CAAAAAATS.")

And I love no, that's the wrong word for this situation. I . . . am amused by the way you made the "loin" thing look like it was just a one-of joke, but then spring it on the agents later in the worst possibly way. You handled it in a simple, discreet way that was simultaneously hilarious and horrifying.

So good work dealing with something unusually bizarre!

"I'm not that good of a writter [sic], some stories may not make sense to some of you but it does for me, my friends and family that's all I care about. I see it this way you don't like you don't need to read. Yes I can be rude but only if your rude with me. So that's all I have so far."

--Her profile. All of this is so very classic stereotypical Suethor I don't know if that trollfic comment is too far off. The mission was much more fun.

This reminds me of that one trollfic my Floaters team tackled for their second mission together. Yeesh.

I didn't read this particular fic prior to reading the mission, and I'm glad for that now. The 'Loin!Sue' near the end was my favorite part. XD

Excellent work, Iximaz! *head-pat*

Also, Neshomeh, if you're reading this, how do I get permission to edit the front page of the wiki?

(And thus we see where the department gets its name. ^_^)

That was one of those badfics that doesn't even try to be a fic - just bad. Your style here is very MST-y - I can't remember whether it was in your previous missions, I'm afraid - which... well, I'm generally fairly solidly against extensive quoting, but in this case it's almost justified. That's because it's not so much the events that are bad here - not until that final section, anyway - but just the writing as a whole.

And yeah, Mirg made me laugh. :D

hS

Just from your sporking, it's clear that this badfic deserved all zero reviews that it got on FFN.

I pray that it never gets a single one.

About the mission itself, though:

First of all, what happened to the bit characters? It seems that the Sue created quite a few. (Destiny, Sirius JR/Sirius Jr) Don't those usually get disposed of as well?

Secondly, a rare double error.
“What, you’re not gonna charge for the Pluralpostophe?” Randa asked.
First of all, a spelling error: you forgot an R; I believe your portmanteau was meant to be spelled "pluralpostrophe."
Second, the technical term for an apostrophe being used before a pluralizing S is "greengrocer's apostrophe." I don't know if you didn't know that before or were just trying to be funny, but as they say,



Either way, good mission, and hopefully someone comes up with some solution for poor Rina before she starts going flamethrower-crazy!

You did a good job handling what was an incredibly broken story, and the bit with the Sue's final form made me chuckle. Nice work, Iximaz. Very well - and deservedly - sporked.

Your spork was wonderful. As wonderful as it can be in the circumstances.

OH BY ALL THE SPIRITS OF CANON WHY THIS MONSTROSITY WHY

Great, now I've contracted the CAPSLOCK OF RAGE from it. Well, it's more like a Capslock of Horror, under these circumstances.

So much horrible why

>_

I was wondering when this would be up! The source material was just...ugh. Perfect spork material, and you handled it admirably. Keep it up!

Dang. Selene sure got screwed over. I'd offer her a hug, but she'd probay be Not Amused.

Out of morbid curiosity, what would happen to a non-Key'd agent in her place?

I think I might volunteer Lana and Narav's first mission (Wings and Water) for this! That's the one over here:

Either this one or Amara, Cepha, and Fio's first mission (A Different Kind of Witch). I'll reread them to make sure they're up to snuff, though.

As soon as I get Permission (doesn't look like soon, though...) I'll get in on it.

Does it have to be FF.net?

By that I mean does the 'Welcome' series have to be posted to the Pit, I understand its the largest fan fiction website out there and stuff, but do we necessarily want to put the PPC out there on it in a more visible way. I know there aren't exactly that many websites out there that allow fan fiction, but maybe we could trial run this on a slightly smaller website (the one that springs to mind as I write this is AO3), that may be slightly more lax in terms of rules (meaning that we don't have to worry about format or where it was posted before), and perhaps have a better and more fair admin team that will accommodate something like this a lot more easily than the admins at FF.net could.

It's just a thought that I had and wondered if there was anything in it that could help with the general idea.

Storme Hawk

I think it's a sound idea so long as we have some way to make sure any readers get to the wiki and/or here afterward. I'd hate if this led to people not knowing about, for example, the need to get Permission before writing their own missions.

I think the only specific volunteering is Sergio's Mission 4... further to the discussion with doctorlit, I'm not posting anything under the WPPC banner yet - there's no actual rush, after all - but I will start collecting stories to put out.

To clarify a few points:

-Your mission doesn't have to be 'old', just 'preexisting'.
-It doesn't have to be your agents' first mission.
-You can put it up on FF.net yourself if you like! I'm basically offering SturmUndSquee for anyone who doesn't want to take the time/hassle of doing it themselves.

hS

But I'm going to give my opinion anyway.

I really don't want us to become easier to find. You mentioned trolls and flamers, but that isn't what worries me. I'm worried by the prospect of enough people making complaints about this new swath of PPC stories getting posted on the Pit, that some enterprising admin will get it in their head to finish the work started against Otik and Renn all those years ago and delete every PPC thing still surviving on the Pit, before I have the chance to archive it.

As we are now, we're safely under the radar. I'd prefer to stay there. That's just how I feel, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

I think I have a couple of missions that could work for something like this. I am in the process of rewriting a bunch of my stuff, however, so it might not be something I pursue right away.

I'd leave the first two out, though - I'm planning to re-write them once I'm over with Blank Sprite as their quality is currently well under my standard.

I thnk the fourth would be a good one if you want to have one example of Agent training, by the way.

Well, you're welcome to use mine, of course - I'm quite happy for people to see what I was like when I began writing missions. :P

But both my spin-offs start with recruitment stories, so I'm not sure they'd work as intended. It's possible that people could jump right into my agents' first missions without reading the previous material, but I'm not the best judge of that. What do you think?

~Neshomeh

(because somehow I still haven't finished one yet)
I'd be happy to take part in doing this. I've been thinking of creating a new FF.net account anyway because there are a couple of fanfic ideas I've got in my head atm that I wouldn't mind writing down.

I'd probably get someone's attention if I posted my missions on my old account. I still get PMs asking me to continue writing even though I said I'm done.

...most of my finished and posted missions are either interludes, for the Blackout, or April Fool's Day things. I have one that I wrote a huge chunk on for NaNoWriMo, which I'm happy to contribute once it's finished, but apart from that, everything is either not a mission, not a serious mission, or simply not posted.

So I guess now the main questions are as follows:

1. Are you looking for anything other than straight missions? Would interludes/Ten Years Later stories/AFD 'joke' missions/an excerpt of a Blackout Interlude also be acceptable/useful?

2. Until when are you accepting contributions to this? Is it to be an ongoing thing, or just during a specific time frame?

3. Assuming an author has written different missions with different combinations of characters (take you, for example, with missions for Dafydd and also missions for Agent hS), would you want them submitting only one mission or multiple ones, with the caveat that no one agent team is featured more than once?

4. Not exactly a question per se, but I'm assuming it would be good if this series ended up featuring many different departments? Something featuring the Flowers could also be good...

I think that's everything for now, so I'll end this here and get ready for class. I would like to add, though, that I think this is an absolutely brilliant idea.

~DF

I would totally volunteer for this series if I were an oldbie.

But doesn't FF.net have some sort of rule against putting up works based on other users' works? Or was there another reason why The Original Series was kicked off?

After only a little bit of confusion and sheepishness, here's the link! Please, let me know what you think!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dKTv2XWeJGPgFd_YCuDSeP3KtPi8zrgziAMeQw3z7YI/edit?usp=sharing

"If you've got a story to plug, an opinion to share, or a discussion you want to join in, this is the place!"

In short, yes.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, so very good for dealing with Sues. :D

It seems that you're already familiar with the Original Series, Constitution, and Wikia, and you've already mentioned your fandoms, so I have no questions to ask.

As for your newbie gift, have a Tentacruel!

Welcome a'Board! I hope you enjoy your stay. It looks like you've already left your sanity at the door, so there's no concern there. ;)

hS

Thanks for joining up, and thanks again for bringing along the Zlang-Zling Squid! Here, have a beaten-up old Geiger counter. You never know when it might come in handy.

Welcome a'Board!

What sort of hobbies do you do in your free time? Other than write and read fanfic, of course. =)

As a welcoming present, I give you an eight-bit pixel bow tie. It's a urple-y sort of wilver color, so it goes with everything! Enjoy~

Welcome to the PPC, have a bottomless bag to hold whatever other gifts you receive. Don't worry, it has pockets so you won't lose anything inside it. You've already been asked about your fandoms, so do you have any favorite PPC agents/series?

*claims the first poke*

(And hey, squid.) Have some canned tuna and a box of pencils!

Here, have a twittering (the noise, not the social network) moose! If the urple bow around its neck is too much, feel free to remove it.

So, do you have any fandoms you'd like to tell us about?

May I ask what fandom a you're part of? For now, of course, have one of my shed feathers! Watch it, it's sharp!

And as for your squid, I would like to offer it a complimentary fish tank and a stick of butter!

Rina would have grinned at Doc's comment if it weren't for gear of dropping the neuralyzer in the frigid waters below.

This is gonna suck, she thought to herself, and let go.

Luckily, a girl falling out of a hole in the sky tends to attract quite some attention and everyone who saw the spectacle was easily persuaded to look at the pretty flashing gadget.

Her task complete, Rina took a deep breath and dived underwater, leaving the bystanders milking about confusedly on the beach.

She opened a portal back to Medical and allowed the current to sweep her through, where she lay on the floor in the puddle of seawater, soaked to the skin and shivering violently. It was a good thing her pockets were waterproof.

Rina climbed to her feet and grinned sheepishly. "S-sorry about the m-mess."

These can apply to badfic of pretty much everything:

Dies, falls into the canon (usually a Stu, but I see it happen with Sues as well)

Suddenly, the team always had another member!

Suddenly, they're scouting out talent and this person is so awesome!

Suddenly, the canon characters are villains! (OC as the anti-hero fighting against them. This can be done very well, but is often... not.)

Constantly swearing, wears black and purple, much darker than the actual setting, possibly adds gore where there should be no gore.

The daughters and sons of the canons continue their adventures!

Way too smart for a teenager.

Kids joining adult teams.

Wears an improbably skimpy outfit, seduces canons.

Reads like a straw feminist caricature.

Kills a canon character.



This probably reads a bit more like a charge list than what you were looking for, but at least some of it should hopefully be useful.

I probably don't have all the needed parts and used up all my LEGOs to build a beach house years ago...but nice!

Shame all my Legos are already used up by their respective Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings sets. Otherwise I'd totally make this.

...but it wouldn't get done for a while since my agents' first mission into MLP is going to be my collab with World-Jumper. *sigh*

And hoo boy, she's a Suethor if ever was one. Is anybody reading this in Multiple Offenses? Because if they are and know Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, they need to track down the first story this Wren chick (wah-wah-wah-waaaaah) shows up in and take care of her.

That's semi-claiming, because I'm... not actually sure it's badfic. I'm going to read it properly tomorrow, but at least technical-wise it looks quite good. It doesn't reach Rivendell yet, of course.

But the reason I'm semi-claiming it rather than ignoring it? It features Pippin, so Kaitlyn can go back to her old job in Character Protective Services. And it features an OC named Acacia, which, particularly in light of doctorlit's response to an earlier Driftwood mission, I could do a lot with...

So we'll see. I'll post about the quality tomorrow.

hS

This reminds me of the Pokemon app they ran a bit ago through Google Maps, where you could track down and capture Pokemon by scanning around the world. At least, I think that was them. Either way, this is a pretty cool find. Who knows, maybe some fanfiction writers will consult this and stick just a bit closer to canon?

email's thestormehawk(AT)gmail(DOT)com

I would be happy (or maybe 'happy' is the wrong word to use here) to look it over. Although be warned, I can do some SPaG but can't set commas to save my own life.

Who wrote this? It sounds like it wasn't you, from how you were talking about it.

So hey, Voyd. I seem to remember you had a... somewhat rocky time of things. [Checks] Yeah.

Okay. I'm not saying anything at all about your projected future behaviour; this is just a friendly reminder of what was said... virtually the last time you posted. The original post was by VixenMage, and while a lot of it isn't relevant, some parts are:

Participation is not just posting threads. You've posted a lot of threads - actually, to the point where it's bordered on thread-spamming, pushing other topics off the edge before their time. But I have not seen you reply to anyone else's threads, and even on your own threads, I have seen you outright ignore any replies disagreeing with you. This is Not Okay. The PPC is not a sounding box to hear your own voice echoed, it's a forum for discussion from all sides. To that end, I would like to see you stop posting all your own threads, and start engaging other people. Allow your interest to be engaged by new things! This is an important part of being a part of a community.

(Source here, but the rest of it's about Permission)

Again, I'm not intending to say, imply, or suggest that you intend to continue in that line of behaviour; I'm just making sure you're aware of what the problems were.

And aside from all that - welcome back a'Board. Have fun!

hS

Seriously, is this turning into a competition?

Anyway, good to see you! Never met you before. Have this fancy pencil with pink and urple stripes all along the sides.

Here comes a gift! Uh... *rummages through massive pile of debris around computer* Lemme see... here, have a package of urple, wilver, and blue highlighters!

I give you my traditional newbie gift: Movie-theater popcorn with extra butter! :)

Have a humming pocket mammoth! If the urple bow around his neck becomes too painful to look at, feel free to remove it.

Part of me likes the idea. It explains that line from Makes-Things, which previously didn't fit with the currently canon history. It also adds some back-up to the never-quite-spoken-aloud idea that There's Something About World One that makes it a particularly time-rupturey and delicate version of Earth, closely linked to the rest of the worlds.*

But on the other hand . . . I guess it just feels a little too forced? Above you asked, "How did the PPC go from slow enough recruitment that the first three agents worked together for a significant amount of time before there were six agents total, to masses of agents during the Insanity Epidemic, in the space of maybe 5 years?" Let's go by Occam's Razor, based on what we already know. The first two weren't recruited; they fell through by accident, due to Makes-Things. We know Osbert was the third; maybe Osbert was the first to fall through a natural plothole (EKYL PLESE GIVE OSBERT A BACKSTORY), and at least some of the other seventeen probably came the same way. We already know the SO wanted to move away from "blow up the planet" to "deal with just the bad parts." Seeing how effective the World One recruits were, and perhaps starting to get an inkling of World One's status as a story nexus of some sort, perhaps the Flowers started their campaign of recruitment posters and the like then. Such posters are mostly mentioned in older spin-offs, indicating that that recruitment strategy was used more heavily in the early days of the (real world actively written) PPC, but have tapered off more recently. This could be an indicator that the upsurge of staff you mentioned between the early days and the Somebody's arrival was due to this stronger recruitment campaign. (Radio Kunek's history seems to be a poetic telling of events similar to what I've just described. At least, that's my interpretation.)

As for the line from Makes-Things: Maybe with all the humanoid recruits the PPC started to get, they put another level of supervisor under the Flowers to deal directly with the other (mostly) human(oid) agents. But perhaps that didn't work out well, or perhaps they simply preferred having the non-Flower supervisors in the field, or perhaps said supervisors were spending to much time in the field to do their jobs effectively? Any of which could have led to the Flowers reinstated the original department heads as the direct overseers to the agents. Doctor Fitzgerald's continued role as department head may simply be due to his better understanding of humanoid biology than any of the Flowers could manage, making it more efficient to keep him on as head of Medical. (Plus, our version is a hologram, right? I've never been quite clear on that.) If this happened not long before Jay and Acacia's posted mission reports (or even during the first four!), it might still have been on Makes-Things's mind when he introduced Agent Dann to the Marquis.

So, yeah. I guess, in general, I prefer using what's already established as a base for writing around, rather than adding big changes like this into the PPC's backstory. And I feel like we do have enough holes to fill, as is. Putting aside Ekyl's personal investment in Osbert, there are at least two or three long histories that could be made out of everything I've just discussed. I vote against this change.

Also, completely off-topic, but this is a photo from New Caledonia:



*I'm fighting it, because I know I shouldn't think it, but I'm getting more and more convinced that the PPC's "World One" is Stephen King's "Keystone Earth" from the final Dark Tower. They both have exits and entrances to other worlds, they both have a strong theme for the power of stories, and while Keystone Earth is the Earth closest to the Dark Tower, which is the center of all worlds, World One seems to be closest to PPC HQ (based on the disproportionate amount of recruitment from there), a location situated between other worlds. There's also the whole "coincidence is dead" thing, which ties nicely into two separate PPCs. I'm sure someone will publish a Dark Tower mission that contradicts this someday, but for now . . .

The Wiki says that Makes-Things figured out how to create portals out of plotholes, so why did the other Sunflower Official sound confused? Wouldn't other!Makes-Things have come up with a similar idea already?

I'd be OK with making it canon, though. I'll do my best to fill in the gaps!

While the existence of two PPCs seems overly coincidental, the idea of two similar badfic-fighting organizations springing up independently isn't (we've seen plenty of that), and the two joining forces makes perfect sense. I kinda like the idea that they hooked up the Flowers' HQ to the office building—that would explain why some parts look more office-y and some parts are more alien. So, why not?

I guess I'm not that shaken up, seeing as you're not actually changing anything, just adding to it. Plus, I'm not personally interested in delving into the fictional past, and the earliest history of the PPC doesn't really affect what I'm doing with my stories in the present, so I'm not really fussed about it. (And Reorg was exciting because there was a plot with stakes in it. This, while potentially opening doors to anyone who thought they were closed before for some reason, doesn't have any inherent drama to it.)

I don't think the woman in the story could be Jay, though. Timelines aside, Jay was just an agent, and a bit of a flake at that. I can't see her in a serious bureaucratic/ambassadorial role. It just doesn't sound like her to me.

~Neshomeh

I am actually working on an alternative to Origins, which won't be nearly as intricate or lengthy, but should still be fun. It is based on that line from the Marquis about human directors and also on the fact that Flowers are untrustworthy sources of information.

So, yeah, I agree that there is more to be written about how the PPC started. Our goals are, in fact, the same: to get people to see the possibilities that are out there. I just don't think all of those possibilities need to be in the same timeline/universe. :P

-Phobos, who should move that story up the list a little

All way before my (and my agents') time, so I don't really care. Either way is fine with me.

Is this still that single line about 'buildings from every canon' that you so enjoyed playing with? Because a) stretching a throwaway line into massive drama that consumes the whole story is kind of overkill, and b) I'm pretty sure there are worse creatures out there than that.

If not... then what?

hS

1. What is your age, gender, and nationality?
61, male, German (not your average boarder).

2. What, in your personal opinion, constitutes badfic?
Disregarding canon to make the word world fit a plot or character which or who should better have been used in an original story, as opposed to deliberately twitching canon to explore the consequences in a what-if AU. No, wait. That constitutes bad fan fiction, combined with the general characteristics of badfic: implausible plot, contradictory characterization, obvious errors about facts that could easily be researched and bad SPaG showing that the author didn’t bother to put much afford into this fic.

3. Do you think there is a "formula" or "script" to writing Missions?
Not really. There are standard ingredients and guidelines, and it’s unusual to have the climactic assassination or exorcism before the flashback where the agents get the mission, but varying the recipe is what keeps it interesting over years.

3a. If so, can you describe it?
I could try to list the ingredients and guidelines, but that’s what the wiki is for.

4. What, in your personal opinion, constitutes a "good" Mission?
Actual concrit, disguised as a funny story.

4a. What are the essential tools for writing one?
A critical mind and a good sense of humor, combined with at least basic writing skills.

5. Do you write Missions?
Not yet, and considering my lack of spare time I will probably not even ask for permission before I retire from my job. But I’m working on my future agents’ back story.

6. What initially drew you to the PPC community?
I found the PPC on a derivative of the Evil Overlord List concerning trans-dimensional organizations. I became curious and, although I had never been into fan fiction, I liked the humor and silliness of The Original Series.

7. What keeps you here?
The people, I guess. Actually it’s the wide variety of discussions to lurk on and to contribute to when I find the time to put my thoughts together. And doing this in a foreign language keeps my brain alert.

HG

I'll have to go back and see whether I read and forgot about your missions or just didn't find them the first time through. Anyway, questions!

QUESTIONS:

1. What is your age, gender, and nationality? 21 on Saturday, female and American.

2. What, in your personal opinion, constitutes badfic? Fanfiction that is written incompetently or lazily. It frequently warps the canon and/or characters in order to accomplish some kind of wish fulfillment.

3. Do you think there is a "formula" or "script" to writing Missions?Yes, more or less. It gets played with, usually for more serious or important Missions.
3a. If so, can you describe it?Agents are interacting with each other, maybe continuing a subplot from previous Missions, when they are alerted to an incoming Mission. They read the report and make angry preparations to enter the fic. Once inside, they scan the characters for OOC-ness, take down charges, and suffer from the bad writing--figuratively and literally since a lot of badfic elements manifest physically. Then they capture and charge the Sue or Wraith and execute them in a creative fashion. Afterwards they return to their base and possibly get reprimanded if they broke any rules.

4. What, in your personal opinion, constitutes a "good" Mission?One where the Sue's obnoxiousness is conveyed in all its cringe-inducing glory, the Agents are engaging, and any snarking is funny.
4a. What are the essential tools for writing one?Tricky...Agents whose characters the writer really gets. What's the justice in mocking someone else's bad characterization if you can't write a competent OC yourself? Also an ear for good jokes. And, of course, basic writing skills like SPaG, pacing and so forth.

5. Do you write Missions?No, I don't have Permission, but seeing the next question I have sporked a badfic independently, and I've written a PPC-esque series with made-up Sues and Stus called Shattered Hourglass.
5a. If so, have you ever had an interaction with the author of the fic you are sporking? If so, what was the nature of this interaction? Was there any change in the author's behaviour after your interaction?Yes. I was in a position of authority and felt what I did wasn't quite appropriate and apologized. She (gender presumed) and a friend each posted a comment calling me names a few months after that. Her activity on Wikia and DeviantArt petered out, with no apparent change in behavior.

6. What initially drew you to the PPC community?I'm a fan of MST3K, so hearing about MST'ings led me to the PPC's Original Series.

7. What keeps you here?The community? A lot of the time I'm nervous to speak up or interact, but this place is really unique. It's critical, but also creative. Even if I didn't enjoy the catharsis, the meta-fandom is cool.

I: 32, M, American

II: That would take a while to explain and I've got

III: I don't know how to answer that.

IV: Funny, respecting canon, etc.

V: Wrote thirty-three of them, and then when I asked what a Rider of Rohan would make of Equestria it was suggested that I write the mission--I am currently working with TM in the OOC horror of Cheerilee's Garden as Suicide and Dio work with a husband and wife recruited from a fic with an Éomer Sue. As for the second half of that question, a couple authors of badfics I PPC'ed found the missions amusing.

VI: I saw all the Narnia badfic out there. I was introduced to the PPC by way of The Official Fanfiction University of Cats.

VII: I e-know a lot of people here, and with all these new fandoms (and the Hobbit films) there's no shortage of new missions.

Welcome back.

1) 20, Male, British
2) Mainly a badly written piece of fanfiction that either ignores the current state of canon (at the time it was written) and instead replaces or inserts the events and/or characters within canon with original characters or events (either outright or hiding in canon character/event's clothings), which often make the fic unbelievable in any number of ways. Or that attempts to fix some wrong the the author has perceived to exist within the canon, whether this be pairing, death of a character or whatever so fulfill what the author believes to be the 'correct' state of canon, using whatever means they deem necessary, even if they do not make sense (in or out of canon). For me those are the two main things that constitute badfic, although they are not the sole ones.

3,3a) There is a loose one yes. Part 1, or more effectively the prologue is where the agents are introduced, with a loud BEEP the mission is introduced and the agents prepare for the mission. Part 2, for me is roughly the first couple of chapters of the badfic, the agents arrive and take in their initial surroundings as well as taking in anything that is introduced in the badfic and filtering through to make sure it fits canon, or else working out whether they can charge for it and if so under what. Part 3 constitutes the main picking up of charges, and working through the badfi...il the point where either the agents have enough or that there is a perfect moment for the agents to intercept whatever is causing the badfic and deal with it whilst they have enough charges. Part 4 is made up of the agents picking up the pieces and sorting out what bits of the badfic they need to/can that aren't already dealt with. Part 5, the epilogue is the agents returning to their RC and preparing for the next mission.

4) I don't know, I suppose a "Good" mission for me should be funny, and with that I mean tickle my particular tastes of humour, but then obviously this is for me and not in general, it should not be too long, or if it is there should be something that makes me want to keep reading (actually a shorter mission needs that as well) and overall there's got to be some connection to the Agents, I can't really explain it, but there's got to be something human in quality about the Agents (even if they aren't actually humans).

5) I have Permission, and am in the process of writing missions, but I have not yet finished one.
5a) Kind of, I've got a base for a mission I'm writing sporking my first attempt a fanfic, looking back at it now I can see how much I've changed between when I was writing it and now.

6) I'd started realizing that the stuff I was reading (and writing) wasn't that good and I wanted a place where I could improve my writing skills in a friendly environment, I saw the TvTropes page and thought the PPC looked quite nice, I started lurking on the board for a bit before I actually introduced myself and I liked what I saw even more, it was then just a question of plucking up enough courage to actually write an introduction post...

7) Besides really wanting to get a mission out? I mean, I really like this community, it's a fun place to be and overall they're good people to know, most of whom I'd happily call friends. I'm still improving when it comes to my writing and it's all thanks to people on this site, and in some ways I feel like I owe them and I want to show them that all that yelling at me about comma's has got through. And I know that if I keep trying I can improve my writing so much more, and it feels natural to me that this is the place where I do that. I love the overall sense of community, how it doesn't matter what you like you're welcome here and how on here everyone truly does the best they can to help others, it's rare to find somewhere like that, on the internet or in real life, and for someone like me, that's the sort of place that I want to be, the community I want to be part of, somewhere I feel like I belong.

Storme Hawk
Who may have got a bit emotional at the last bit...

Even if it's just for a little while. I hope you'll stick around, though. {= )

The survey:

1. 29, female, American.

2. A badfic is a fan-written story that's poorly written mechanically (e.g. spelling, punctuation, and grammar) and/or poorly told as a story (e.g. unrealistic characters, flawed logic, haphazard pacing). Usually both. Badfics tend to ignore or change aspects of the source canon, either because the writer forgot about them or didn't know better, or to "make the plot work" or benefit an original character inserted into the world.

3. Yes, but not more so than any other narrative.

3a. More than that, I plugged the standard PPC mission into Syd Field's paradigm for fun a few years ago: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RMkTrDaAFMi8rnccdLe2glT51SzyQjz1IUzg8Ztpyxc/edit?usp=sharing

4. My favorite missions are the truly parodic ones that take the text of the badfic and transform it into something hilarious. Rather than just pointing out each thing that's wrong, groaning about it, and moving on to the next thing, they take what's wrong and express it in an exaggerated, absurd way. For instance, in Tungsten Monk's latest mission, a character is described as a "green shirt" instead of a "greenshirt" (a rookie). Therefore, in the mission, the character appeared as a floating green shirt the whole time. Much funnier than the agents simply pointing out the typo.

My favorite missions also star characters who are more than just interchangeable talking heads. Half of what makes a mission funny is what the writer does with the badfic; the other half is the interactions the agents have with each other and with the fic. If the agents are two-dimensional cardboard cutouts that can only groan and point out the literal errors, they're not interesting or funny. If they each have their own quirks and foibles, and get annoyed by different things, and disagree with each other sometimes, and their snark is insightful and revealing, that's gold.

4a. You gotta have a sense of humor, and you gotta push the envelope. I mean, okay, start with the basics: solid writing skills, knowing the canon, knowing the PPC universe. But then you have to have an eye for material you can work with, and you have to have a flair for the absurd. You have to take the time to look past the literal text of the badfic, both understand what the author intended and get past it, and extract comedy from what it could mean. Then build a story around it with characters who really engage with their situation and have it affect them.

5. Yep!

5a. Once, I was in the middle of sporking a fic when I went and looked at the summary for the first time, to find that the author had actually repented ages ago and was all for the PPC sporking the thing. I got in touch with him, let him know I was doing it, and actually invited him to have a cameo. He accepted, and ended up assassinating his own Gary Stu. ^_^ That's pretty atypical, though.

I have occasionally reviewed fics I've sporked, but I've never had anything come of that, to my knowledge.

6. The humor and the fact that they were a bunch of Tolkien nerds, like me. I don't think I had ever met a bigger Tolkien nerd than myself until I found the Board. It was a little intimidating, but awesome, especially because everyone was so nice and welcoming.

7. I've been a member for over a decade, and at this point I can hardly imagine my life without the PPC in it. It's a part of my identity now. Furthermore, I've made some great friends here, and I still have stories to tell and other contributions to make, such as my work on the wiki.

I hope that helps. {= )

~Neshomeh

Glad you're having fun in college! Here we go:

1. Twenty-eight, male, U.S. white.

2. A badfic is a fanfic that undoes, perverts or goes against some aspect of the source material, caused by lack of careful planning and thought during the writing process. (Not to be confused with an exploratory, alternate universe fanfic that intentionally changes something and examines the full consequences.)

3/3a. No. The only thing that's universal enough to missions to call the "formula" is the bare bones mechanical structure of the agents reacting to the writing of the original badfic. Even showing quotes from the original probably isn't strictly necessary, though it's probably easier to do it that way. I suppose the ending of missions (remove the problem) is also part of a "formula," but even then, we see unforeseen problems and consequences interfere with the resolution as often as not.

4. To me, the best missions are those that don't merely remove the uncanon and restore the canon, but celebrate the canon. This is sometimes as simple as writing in the same style as the original, or quoting it cleverly. More complex examples could be giving a canon character a moment to shine and reinforce their canon theme or attitude. In the best case, such a mission contrasts those canon themes with the mistakes made in the badfic, so that the reader of the mission sees the conceptual errors that contributed to making the original fanfic a badfic.
4a. The only tools needed for writing a good mission are a strong familiarity with the source canon, and a critical eye for narrowing down the badfic's themes: not just looking at superficial errors, but the major problems that cause the badfic to fail to properly coexist with the canon it takes place in.

5/5a. I do write missions, but I have never communicated with the authors of any of the fanfics I've written missions for. I have no desire to do so, mostly out of discomfort interacting with unfamiliar people.

6. I've always been interested in crossovers, and looking for both subtle and overt connections between different fictional universes. The in-universe PPC offered the opportunity to interact with essentially infinite canons from a single base point, which was exciting for me as a writer. (As a reader, all the free content produced by the other community members is also fantastic!)

7. I am heavily invested in the PPC setting, and have many plans for my characters, whom I hope to continue writing for many decades. Aside from my personal enjoyment in writing my PPC characters, I love seeing the reactions other people have to reading them, and getting other opinions and viewpoints about what I write.

On a more personal note, I have made many friends in this community; I have more close friends in the PPC than I do in real life. I don't often meet people who think like I do, so the PPC is fantastic for my continued sanity. I am also a better person now than I was when I first joined the PPC, due to the other members teaching me about people and the real world, a world I had little knowledge of at the start.

Hope that's useful! If you're quoting anything of mine, feel free to restructure any sentences to make them read more professionally.

Good luck, both on this assignment and with school in general. I hope we'll see you some more once you've graduated!

—doctorlit

I'll certainly take part in this, but it'll likely have to wait until Friday due to tangling with linguistic type things on my own end.

How have you been?

Or, rather, hello there.
1. [REDACTED], male, Israeli.
2. Badfic is when someone takes other people's works and decides to ignore them, then write a story with them nonetheless. Alternatively: clueless people writing fanfic. Alternatively: disturbing people writing fanfic.
3. This exists, but it's mostly a set of guidelines. Ultimately, a mission depends on the badfic it is sporking and on the agents; there is no set 'formula' per se, though some patterns are recognisable ([BEEEEEEEEP!], reading charges and other PPC SOP, etc).
4. Varies. It's usually either funny or cathartic. The latter is reserved to truly horrifying fics, stories that make you want to spork them because you won't feel alright if you won't.
4a. I'm not sure, but inspiration is important, as are good betas.
5. Yes. Sorta. When I don't have writer's block.
5a. No.
6. Reading the PPC's TvTropes page and thinking it is awesome.
7. The people. Writing's just a common interest; the people are amazing.

Before I go into the survey, have a honking llama with an urple bow around its neck! If the urple becomes too painful, feel free to remove it.

Okay, you need some questions answered? Lessee...

1) 17, almost 18; female; American

2) Badfic can consist of several different things, but to me it's mostly a blatant disregard for canon, including but not limited to: Major OOCness, Sues who contribute nothing to the story, Sues who derail the story for no reason, horrendous grammar, and not doing research. Of course, it's usually found in a combination of all that.

3) The majority of them follow the same pattern, but I like it.
3a) 1. Agents get mission. 2. Agents enter fic. 3. Snark happens. 4. Agents kill the fic and go home.

4) Good missions? The funny ones! The ones that make the badfic less horrible.
4a) Tools? A sense of humor, a knowledge of the continuum, and lots and lots of Brain Bleach.

5) Yep! Got Permission back in February. :D
5a) No, I have not... unless interacting with yourself counts? I'm working on my old badfic right now.

6) The idea was appealing. I'd already gotten sick of all the badfic and was leery of browsing the Pit as a result. And then I found this place and thought the idea was really cool, sending agents into badfic to clean up my beloved canons. The idea alone had me sold.

7) Writing my own missions and reading others' certainly plays a part, but I mostly stay here because of the people. I love this community and how close everyone is. Honestly, it would take a lot for me to leave.

Hope this helps!