Sep 2014 Archive, part c

((Continued from Chapter 4 below, because I'm fed up of being at the end of the thread. ^_~))

A/N: OMG! Tehre are ppl reading tihs who DON KNW WHO JAYCACIA ISS!!! Tahts UNBELIEABLE!!!! ~(Izimax&- you NEAD to read teh othr sotries on my bio like RITE NOU. Tehyr really goo.

kk so tihs next bit wuld hav been reely intresting but hottestly I cant' be bothed to write it so iLL sunnerise:

So Aurora tells Jaycacia that she's her biggest fan and then Illian says that no he is and then they fight a little until Jaycacia tells them that they can both be her biggest fan and then they kiss (eech othr not Jaycacia LOL). Then Supernumberary asks how Jaycacia is still alive because she went to the beginning of the universe and she says that the power of the Starflower kept her alive but it also kept the evil Spies alive so she had to fight them for thousands and hundreds of years until they were just bones and dry leaves (teh ones she was wapped in!!1) and they died and she was all alone. But then Illian cast his spell and called her back (yey!). And then Al's Waiter asks why she isn't a Flower any more (b/c he was sneakretly there when she truned into teh Starfowler!) and she says that the power of the Starflower came from the beginning of time and once it went back there it could never leave, but she could separate herself from it and so she did.

kk so tahts wehre we ar. soz abut not writin taht bit but righting is HARD.

Suddenly Jaycacia looked mournful. "The battle was hard and long," she said sadly, "and it has wounded me in more ways than you know. I have news - news I must share with my husband and my mother." She looked around, despair evident in her face. "But they are not here."

"I'll go and get them!" Aurora exclaimed, and ran off into HQ. The agents waited until she came back with the SO and Jay.

"Oh my lovely daughter!" blubbered Jay, "I never thought I'd see you again!"

"Nor did I, mother," said Jaycacia, hugging her tight and kissing her all over. "And you, my husband..."

I have missed you, said the SO, embracing her, so very much.

"I need to tell you something," Jaycacia said seriously. "Husband mine... the battle with the Sub Rosa and her minions scorched me inside and out. My flesh has healed, but my inner places... my womb..." She blinked back the tears. "Husband - I can no longer have children."

Oh, my beloved, said the SO, holding her closer as the agents gasped in dismay. I knew from your face that something was wrong. He paused a moment, then said, ... but you can still have sex, right?

"Absolutely."

~

"Do you think she's trying for foreshadowing?"

Acacia leant back, sinking into Jay's sofa. "You know what I've missed?" she mused aloud. "Soft furnishings. Reeds just aren't the same." She glanced over at her friend. "Sorry, what?"

Jay waved the sheet of paper at her. "The pregnancy thing. Do you think it's supposed to be foreshadowing?"

Acacia frowned at the page. "Hard to say. Because on the one hand, I'm really not sure she's bright enough to foreshadow-"

"What, you don't have a high opinion of the intelligence of someone who writes a summary of half their chapter?" Jay blinked. "I think that sentence got away from me a bit."

"You're doing fine," Acacia assured her. "And no. But on the other hand... if she did try to foreshadow... that's exactly how unsubtle she'd be."

hi dudes im tgris, dis is my new story, its gonna be sooooo cool, and its gonna be totes awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

proluuge:

agent bleepofansgieandoandaei (fans for short) was stutting down de halway. His saw a agent come oute and his said 'bro come at me bro' the agent came at him but fans was too fast! she grabed the agents hands and swung him arounnd an the agent wished he hadnt cme t his;.
fans struted a lil bit mmore an den desided to go in to a BADFIC!!!!!!! he dscrred(look! i used a dictionarrry!) he pen adn papper ad transporrrrrrrrrted in to the bad fic!
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun batman
to be continued plz rview or i wont update any more

Author Profile: Hi! I'm a girl who loves fantasy stories and especially dragons. I've already written most of a novel (it's way better than Twilight) and someday I'm going to be a real author! I'm so excited to be here! :D

Title: First impressions

Summary: Deriks’ first mission into Eragon goes . . . depending on how you look at it very wrong or very right ;)

Genres: Action/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: T to be safe because *somebody* gets what's coming to them.

Derik was standing in thew oods outside Carvahall by himself disguised as a genreic villager and waiting in silence. He had heard about this continuum was full of Canon Sues and Stus and could only assume this was a cruel joke from the Flowers because it had dragons. Hadn’t he suffered enough losing his own dragon had almost killed him? Now he was stuck in an awful continuum having to save a whiny brat of a dragon rider the likes of which woudn’t even have survived a hatching (A/N: It’s been forever snce I read Pern I don’t remember what teh ceremony is called *Shrug*)

There was the Sue—the one he was allowed to kll anyway. She was a elf woman with enbony black hair and electric blue eyes with delicately pointed ears and luminisecent moon skin. She also ripped off the scene in the LotR movies with Arewen Derik threw up in his mouth a little bit.

Sue: Freeze, mortal.

Derik didn’t rwrite down the charge of slang his gaze was fixed on the egg gleamed in the moonlight. Its shell was deep blue and iridescent like lapis lazuli but perfectly smoth and oval. It was smaller than a Pern’d sdragon egg. It was stll close enough for Derik to feel the sfamiliar longing. But nothing could replace his Skephanth. Just thinking about him made him start to flash back. His memories of Pern weren’t exatly real but they were real enough of avoiding Thread or burning it or the Between had stayed in his mind particularly. He wondered if Skepnath was just gone or trapped in Between forever.
Derik didn’t know which would be worse

Derik didn’t remember what happened next but he guessed a time shift had taken him to the next morning. The sun was up and Eragon and the Sue—her name was Angel—wer cuddling next to the egg. Derik had to read the words said the two had argued over who could take the egg but Angel had fainted so Eragon stayed with her and the egg all night to protect them because he felt protective of the Sue. Of course he did.

Derik knew from the words he read that Eragon was having a dream of angel’s past. Glablatorix had killed her patnetns in front of her—they had been some of the last Dragon Riders which was why she wanted to be Saphira’s rider. That only made Eragon felt more protective.

It was getting hard for Derik to concentrate on the mission with the egg right there. Somehow, he could almost sente the baby dragon inside, warm and alive and eager to hatch to bad her future rider was such a perfect fool. He would turn a perfectly good dragon into another Sue—or at least a Cute ANimal Friend.

Angel stirred and her eleyis fluttered.

It wasn’t fair. Derik’s fsits clenched. Saphira was just as bad off as skepnath—not going to die but trapped because of a Sue. He couldn’t let that happen to another dragon.

Derik didn’t realize his weapons were in his hands until he was lafway across the clearing. He’d drawn his sword and was swinging it down at the Sue. He didn’t care about Charges; she was a sue and it was obvious.

Angel’s eyes opened as the blade came down, and she just had time for one screqech burst ouf of her before the sword took off her head. Slue blood stained the ground glittery, and Eragon woke up. He was still confused by the Sue’s influence as Derik turned on him, shaking.

Derik: I need to do this right. You, Eragon, are chrged with being a Gary Stu. With being an author=insert with a boring personality and your name is one letter from Dragon and everything handed to you instead of threading earning it and whining about everyone else doing all the hard work for you, getting super magical powers, controlling the dragon is almost the last of her species and deserves much better than you!
“Huh?”

The egg’s shell began to crack. Drawing in a deep breath, Derik turned back on Eragon.

“For these crimes you ar sentenced do death.”

Eragonw as still just af armboy by this point and couldn’t do anything to stop the sword going into his liver. He let out a choking noise and collapsed, dying quickly. As he did the world rumbled, and the words began to fall apart. Sheathing his sword Derik snatched up the egg. The cracks sread across its shell. He portealed away, landing in his RC.

As he put the egg on his bed began to flake off pieces. He coruched beside it and watched intently. Bits flew off until the egg efell apart and a tiny blue dragon tumbled out. Her wings tangled around her and Derik pulled them away she looked at him and he felt a familiar feeling in his head.

Derik?


oOo

Derik stood in the SO’s office. SO: What are you doing here?

Derik looked surprised. “I broke a PPC rules state that canon characters can’t be killed. Even Sutes.”

“Oh. Right. That was because we thought that if you killed canon characters the canon would break: Your recent activity has merely caused the Eragon universe to shift. Murtagh is now the protagonist and the word world is much better. We will be sending agents into Twilight and other continua to fix them too. You’re going to be rewarded.”

Derik stared in amazement. “Then—

“You can keep Saphira.”

Derik I call her Saphirath now.

The SO shrugged. He dismissed Derik, who ran back down the hall led back to his RC where Saphirath was waiting eagerly. Derik didn’t have to tell her the news had already reached her throught heir telepathic link and she tackled him as he came through the doors.

“Derik!” She was still a baby but she knew his anme and her name and knew he was very happy so she was too.

The console beeped but Derik didn’t pay attention to the fact that tears were coing down his face either as he reached out and touched the dragon’s nose. She ran her head under his fingeriips with a purring noise like a happy kitty. H felt whole again.
---

I feel I should note that MS Word did its darndest to fix my typos—I had to go back and manually reenter quite a few.

-Thantosiet

Because this idea has been eating at me since I worked on the Artemis and Bodldops stuff on the wiki, earlier this year. This is my take on a possible scene while Halley was stuck in Mid-World. There is some NSFW language to be found below.

Halley belongs to bodldops. The man in black and Mid-World belong to Stephen King. The Shades and Gaspode the Wonder-Dog belong to Terry Pratchett. I just discovered last night that a friend I had loaned some books to has lost my copies of the first four Dark Tower novels, so the MiB will probably be acting more like he did at the end of the series than he did at the beginning. This scene does contain one major spoiler for The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower. (As in, it literally spils the entire series, you will not be able to enjoy the books at all if you read this first.)
* * *
As Halley began to wake up, she felt an uncomfortable heat beating down on her above. Sunlight, surely, but the Shades weren't well-known for being very brightly-lit. As she began stirring, trying to get to her feet, she discovered three very important details about her knew and unknown location.

1. There was hard-packed sand beneath her.

2. Her hands and feet were tied.

3. She had a massive bruise on the right side of her forehead, which she had inadvertently just scratched across the aforementioned sand.

Halley cried out, opening her eyes, and snapping her body up and into a kneeling position. The sun and sand had vaguely impressed into her groggy head that she had found her way into either a desert or a beach, an she now saw that it was, indeed, a desert. It was a long expanse of white with no obvious landmarks.

There was, however, a man dressed in black standing right in front of her. He had been grinning, and now grinned even wider. "Greetings, Lady-sai!" He bent down one leg and bowed, holding a closed fist against his forehead. "Life for you, and life for your crop. I do say sorry for that goose egg—" He tapped a single finger near his right temple— "But when I saw you pop out of that odd thinny-hole, I just had to talk to you." His grin—it didn't seem possible, but it got even widerteeth bright and white, and glinting down on Halley.

She shivered a bit, despite the desert heat. When she first saw a smiling figure in black, she figured it was another agent. After all, she had worn black herself for her vacation back to the Disc. (It was a good color in the Shades, but also useful for identifying yourself to other agents out on missions.) But this man's weird behavior, and speech, and, well, the fact he had apparently knocked her out and tied her up, definitely did not point in that direction. He almost looked like a cowboy, with chaps and boots and a vest worn over a button-down collared shirt, all in black except for the buttons. the only thing missing was a wide-brimmed Stetson, but the man wore no hat. His hair was, again, black, and fell all around his head in messy strands.

He just continued to stare at her. He raised his eyebrows, as though surprised at her lack of response.

"Um. Hi." Halley finally said. "Sorry, I . . . I'm still a bit woozy." Why was she even apologizing? He was the one who had knocked her out!

"Hm." That unreal smile finally vanished, and a look of contemplation settled over the face of the man in black. "I still feel the same. You're not like her, are you? Ah, well. There's more than one use for a damp rag, eh?"

Halley, suspecting that she may have been the damp rag in the previous sentence, had been about to argue, but was stopped when she saw the man's face . . . shift. There was no other word for it; the nose became just a bit more pointed, the eyes closer together, the mouth sat a bit lower in his face. For just a hairline of second, Halley could have sworn she was looking at Irvine—not DIA Agent Irvine, but that other one that had been sneaking around HQ for a couple of years. But less than a second later, it was back to normal. Halley flailed for a moment, forgetting that her feet were tied and trying to stand, leaving her on her side once again. "Who are you? What are you?"

The man seemed unperturbed. In fact, he seemed rather bored as he said, "Oh, the name, yes. Let's go with . . . Ah, but I had best say 'Marten' if I'm taking you back with me, as all in Gilead know me by that one."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Halley kicked at the crusted sand forcing herself away from this bizarre person.

Marten only laughed—a high-pitched, fast-paced giggle that made Halley feel almost physically sick until he stopped—and said, "Look around thyself, cully, and tell me where it is you plan to run to? 'Tis all flat and empty, this Mohaine Desert, though it shouldn't be quite bad, not yet.

Halley looked wildly all around, as much as her bound limbs allowed. The man in black was telling the truth; it was nothing but a flat expanse of sand all around, bleached so white it might have looked like snow in a photograph, with the sun's heat removed. Except—

Halley stopped moving when she it. There was one spot on the horizon that looked different. It was the air there; it had a certain shimmer to it beyond what mirages the heat was casting all around. A place against the sky where the color . . .

"Wilver," Halley said aloud. There was a wilver distortion against the sky.

"Wilver?" Marten echoed. He watched for a moment, then continued, "Ah. 'White' and 'silver.' Yes, she fancies herself a warrior of the White, but really! She is only here for herself. And so she casts an off shade of color! the Wilver; do ye say so?" He looked expectantly at Halley, grin now gone.

"Uh. Sure. I mean, we call them 'Mary Sues,' and I think, for the most part they go for urple over wilver, but wilver's pretty common, too." Halley shook her head. She shouldn't say to much; she wasn't quite sure, but it was seeming more and more likely that this man was a canon in some universe Halley didn't know. But it was hard to fight those eyes. Something in the man's face made her want to explain herself. And indeed, as if he realized what she had just realized, that intense look seemed to slide away for a moment.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Walter said, distracting her.

"Um. Honestly, I would rather—"

"The young Gunslinger is a farce."

". . . The what?"

Marten giggled again. "You really are an outsider. Like her." His face shifted again, looking suddenly youthful. "We have your woman, outsider!" Then the face settled back into Marten's.

Halley glowered. That had been a line in a horror movie Talia had convinced her to watch one Halloween. Which meant: "You are inside my head."

"Hee hee hee! I try. Allow me to enlighten you about Gunslingers. They are the fancy heroic lawmen around here." He pretended to hook his thumbs through suspender he didn't wear and cast a stern frown that might have come from Barney Fife during a proud moment. Roland, son of Steven, may they rot in hell as I ... both their mothers, seeks to go on a mythical quest to the Dark Tower, where he believes he will enter and put to right all that's gone wrong—" he gestured at the desert around them&mdsh; "with the world. Except that he fails every time."

Halley quirked an eyebrow. "He gets redos?"

The man in black shrugged. "I get a second chance every time he does, so I suppose I can't complain. Especially as I'm a bit of a risk taker, and have a tendency to get killed before Childe Roland comes to the Dark Tower. But I have a problem now."

"It sounds like you have lots of problems."

Marten ignored Halley. "This outside force. She who stands for the Wilver and Urple, as you tell it. Now, she is the one who enters the room at the top of the Tower."

". . . Oh."

"Now she is getting the second chances. Now she is starting us over, and starting us far further from the end of her quest than the Tower made Roland do. I can at least be grateful the Mohaine had moved too close to Gilead—that at least shaves a bit of time off each cycle. But still, I am losing centuries." Here, finally, Marten's voice took on a vicious growl, his face lost that creepy, pressing smile. "And no longer does anything change! Even Roland, that smug and stubborn old ass, would do things different, with or without my intervention. But not, she, oh no, she can't allow anything to change. It's always exactly the same; I still can't be certain if she doesn't know what's happening, or enjoys the attention so much she simply doesn't care. I can't do a thing to fix it, oh no. I have my parts I am compelled to play, and I must be there to fulfill them. When I'm near her, my words and actions are not my own. As though she is in my head, and that is supposed to be my trick on others, may it please thee."

Halley's eyes widened. There was only one direction this canon could possibly be going with all this. "But then I came. I'm something that didn't happen before."

The grin again, so wide and white. "YES! Yes, lady-sai, do thee see it?"

"I see it." See it very well, she thought, which then struck her as odd.

"You can see what's happening, when the Deschain family and Roland's precious ka-tets cannot. You can act against her, when I cannot." He drew a folding knife from the pocket of his chaps and opened it. He kneeled down over Halley, who stiffened reflexively. But Marten only smiled—a real smile, for once, a smile of hope mismatched with the face that gave it. He cut her bonds, and offered a hand to help her stand. The two, dressed in black, looked out to the cloud of distortion that hung over Gilead in the distance.

The Sue in wilver fled across the desert, and the agent in black followed.

Summary: Androia and Hieronymus read "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )".
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: The source material is rated K and I will try to keep it at this.

(Issuer’s note: One of my readers and devoted fans asked me to post this here, because his account has not been confirmed yet. Hrnms.)

Cast:
Androiaavata – female night-elf druid and potential PPC agent.
Hieronymus – male human scientist, trans-dimensional snatcher and trans-dimensional hopper attempting to write himself into the PPC without ever asking for Permission.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Harry Potter. The copyright for these wonderful books belongs to Joanne K. Rowling. Harry Potter, names, characters and related indicia are copyright and trademark Warner Bros.; "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )" belongs to proudhousewife, who may or may not also be Grace Ann Parsons; the briefly mentioned PPC was created by the original agents, Jay and Acacia; and the World of Warcraft (Androia’s home continuum) is the property of Blizzard Entertainment. As far as a Player’s Character can be owned, Androiaavata belongs to Hieronymus, who himself – well, belongs to himself.

Author’s Note: I probably do this wrong, but it is not intentionally bad, although I admit that it is not beta read. The justification for posting this in the badfic games may be that bad ideas rather than bad SPaG is a continuous problem in my alter ego’s contributions, and that the Board seemed to agree that touching this fic, even with a very long Spork, might be a bad idea. Also, it needs to be set in the badfic AU because I still didn’t even ask Permission for writing my agents in the PPC continuity. You may assume that this is set in a time long after Androia hit some sense back into her partners head.

------------------------------------------

Prologue

"I cannot read this," said Androia, handing the book back to Hieronymus. "The blurb says that there is magic in it."

"C'mon, don't be silly. You are a druid. You do magic!"

"There is a difference. Did you ever pay attention to the back story when you played the game? We can safely use the magical forces of nature, but when our ancestors discovered this well of arcane magic, they called the demons from the Netherworld upon us."

"But you need to know the canon," insisted Hieronymus.

"How can I know that the magic in this book is not arcane? I will not take the risk."

Hieronymus gave in. "Well then, there may be an alternative." He turned the monitor to an angle more convenient to be read by two persons sitting side by side, but not too close together. "Sit here and look what I found on the Internet."

Androia pulled a chair over to the console and sat down, carefully keeping a distance that would neither insult her partner by obviously staying away nor provoke unwanted action by undercutting his cuddling radius. Then she read what was displayed on the screen:

Books > Harry Potter
Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles )
By: proudhousewife
Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do not want them to turn into witches? Well-this is the story for you! This story has all the adventure of JKR's books; but will not lead your children astray. For concerned mommies everywhere! Blessings! Grace Ann
Rated: Fiction K - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,623 - Reviews: 1,515 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 312 - Updated: Sep 18 - Published: Aug 25 - id: 10644439

"I remember," said Hieronymus, "that this was a concern when the books were published, and apparently it still is. Harry Potter may even still be banned from some school libraries. So somebody went through the trouble of removing the magic from these books to protect us all."

Androia frowned. "Mommies? Are you trying to imply something?"

"I wouldn't ever," protested Hieronymus. "You know that I got over this! I just thought that it may be for concerned night elves as well."

"Is this so? I will trust you then," said the night elf, and began to read out loud.

(to be continued)

Hello, fanficWorld. I am Lemony Eggnog. You can call me Lemony, or Nog if you insist, but if I quote the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition at you it's your own fault. I am an adult human person. I'm not fussed about pronouns; use whatever you like.

There is a stunning lack of quality M/M slash in the PPC fandom, and I'm here to fix that. I'm not afraid to genderbend if that's what it takes. If you have a problem with that, you are free to take your business elsewhere. Flames will be used to make the characters nice and comfy while they get nekkid. P:
(( ... So yeah, I might write a for-real lemon if I have time and don't chicken out before this is over. >.>

~Neshomeh ))

Title: A 2nd Chance
Summary: My new story!!! 4 Aurora's nexta dventur, will she change hsitory when she fall sthru a plothole? Ul have 2 read and c! R+R thanx!
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama/Angst

Chapter 1: A Plothole 2... hWere?!

One day, a week after the Kudzu's and the MArquis's wedding, Agent Aurora E. Lorra of the Department of MAry sUes wuz walking thru HW. She wore her faovrite black tank top w/her cactus flash patch and a short skir that wuldn't tangle up her legs in a biadfic, and leather boots. Her hair was curly and blonde with borwn streaks 2 help her blend in better. She had blue eyss and wore contacts 2 help her c better.

Aurora was happe bcuz she had just joined the PPC and made new firends, and even helped them fall in love! She wuz on her way 2 her RC when suddenly, she fell thru a plotholw!

"Oh no!" Said Aurora. "Help!"

But there was no1 around, so she fell in and landed with a BIMP!

"OW," Aurora said. "Where am I?"

She loked around. She waz in a RC, but it wasn't hers.

Suddenly, the console BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPED! and there waz a lot of noise and lightning! Aurora dov efor cover under the bed.

"hey, watch it!" aurora said, getting up. "U could hurt some1 like that!!"

"Oh yeah?" said an agent. She had black hair and waz really pale and had red yess. "Who r u?"

"Yes, who r u?" said anohter agent w/a bautirful voice, who stood up from bhind a chair. "And whar r u doing in my RC?"

Aurora gasped! "OMG! I know u! Ur...... Agent Dafydd Illian! I must b in the past!!!!"

AN: DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! So Agent Aurora fell thru a plothole in2 the past, and now she's in Davydd and Selene's RC! Dafydd is so hawt, but Selene is such a bitch, lol. What will happen next?! Read N REview 2 find out!

XOXOX

Fire Love of the PPC was mad. The people heal were just so jealous of her amazing talents. She couldn't help it if she was just so much talented and prettier and musical and special and kind and talented and acrobatic and lovely and better then they where. Only her super Hottie boyfriend Mason really understood her (A:n he lok jut like Legolas!!!!!). That awful agent Seych was the worst though. She ran her fingers through her fiery rev hair that followed over het shoulders. Look in the mirror she saw a woman with perfect breasts, Petty sparking bye eyes , and pink lisps. Today she was wearing a hot pink minis it that emhasixed her curbs. She also wore a glittly sliver top that showed off her boobs. Delilah sliver shoes where worsen on de feet. She walked over to her phone and called her best friend Air Winter. (Did you like it? Chaptah to conin mep weak?!!!!?!!!!,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summary: Agent Darkotas uses his dark powers to eliminate the threat posed by Mary Sues. Fantasy/Action. PG13.

Darkotas crouched in the bushes, tracking his prey. Using his superior Fel-enhanced senses, he soon found them - a horde of Sues. Grinning wickedly, he turned to his minions, who suddenly appeared behind him with a wave of his hands. "Are all of you ready?" He said with a smirk. They all nodded. Rushing out of the hole he was in, he set upon the Sues. He grabbed the first one with both of his hands, cursing the unfortunate target with a withering curse. As he did so, he drew his spell blade to stab another nearby Sue, consuming the soul as it exited the body. After the curse was complete, he removed his hands from the first Sue, turning to face another. Behind him, his minions pounced on a third Sue, tearing it apart. As he faced a large group of heavily armed Sues, he saw a lone figure attempting to sneak up behind him. Still facing the armed group, he turned to cast a horrifying illusion towards the attacker. The threat averted, he resumed charging his spell. They rushed towards him, and he released his power, immediately incinerating the Sues into a pile of steaming glitter. He turned once more to glance at the final Sue, screaming in fear as the visage showed him his greatest fears. The Sue stabbed wildly, catching Darkotas with a direct hit. The blade bounced off of his armor harmlessly, and slew the Sue. He decided to take a trophy, and shrunk the head of his foe after burning the rest. As he walked towards the barren land where he was hiding earlier, he cracked a smile.

Summary: Ranrina is a Agent Of The PPC and is half Angle half Time-lord... Can she keep her fathers' identity a secret?? R&R PLZ NO FLAMEZ!

Chapter One
A/N: OK guys this is my first PPC Fanfic and I hop it's good!

Ranrina was sittin in the RC, Rc 3-apple-14, her emraldgreen eys wandering arond the RC. Her choclatbrown hare tumbld down her back liek a waterfal of choclat and her wings were spred behind her. She was a Agent Of The PPC a half Time-lord half angle. Her mother was a angle sent to wach over Doctor who who was her fahter. But nobody new that but her. (A/N: If u guyz have a problem w/that then to bad lol.) her wepins were a glong wite how taht were carved w/pics of Galliferayan writin wich were carved w/pics writing that said cum liket werberabat (thats latin for w/this lite I smite you) and a sowrd. It had a dragon rapped around the handle part. She is 17.

Rinranda got up and decided to practis flying. She tok her bow and shoot 10 targets in the Bulls'eye. Tired she decided to take a nap put that was wen.....................................................,............

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!!!]

Ranrina groned. She was soo tired but a Agent Of The PPC never gets to sleep seriosly she had no sleep for like a month but it did'nt matter because she is half Time-lord half angle, though so it didn't matter. She got redy for her next misson.

A/N: Waht did u guys think?? :D :D :D Plz R&R Ranrina needs the luv lol!! Btw I won't update untill I get at least 5 god revews! K thanx!

Summary: The beauteousness of the Fictional Worlds is invisible to those blinded by hatreds of beauteousness.

Rating: PG13

Genre: Drama/Character Study

________

Author's note: I am greatly disappointed by the quality of fiction offered upon this cite, but there is no better place upon which to place my stories because the PPC is not as broadly appreciated by intelligent people as it should be and the categories available upon other cites are effluvia. Here is a tale more appropriate for the needs off the world of the PPC.

__________

Gleaming, glittering morning sunlight suffused the penumbra of mists lying upon the deep green leafy woods of Mirkwood, terpsichorean photons swaying between droplets of suspended moisture in the mist in an intricate dance of magnificence. Far off in the distant view of the agents stepping foot into the woods, the stolid mountains loomed in porphyrous shadowing against the light of the misty morning glow.

Agent Cicily Orion inhaled a deep, cleansing breath and breathed out again, watching the smoky fog she exhaled become part of the mist and the swirl of colors upon the morning light. Her partner, Agent Joe, ignored the glories of the gleaming, suffusing mist and sharpened his ugly, notched knife. "Let's go get this bitch," he said roughly, his voice raspy but somehow slick as oil spilled on trembling waters innocent of wrongdoing.

"Wait a little moment or two, Joe," admonished Cicily with gentleness and faith in her partner's ultimate humanity and openeyedness to beauty in the world around them. "Observe and behold the colors and intricate dance of the world around us. Truly a world woven of words would be nothing so beautiful if it were not for the eye beholding it, for beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we are privileged to behold its beauty. Do you not see what magnificence is here in the smallest of raindrops or the intricate, effervescent swirl of a galaxy's primal dance? We are privileged."

"I don't care about beauty, no matter how terpsicohorean the glory of the universe is," Joe snarled. "I don't have time for beauty or glories. I am here to end a life, not prattle about foolish things that mean nothing to the business of blood. The only beauty I care about is the beauty of the Sue, and beauty is a crime for a Sue to have!"

Cicily's breath caught as if her breath had been stolen from her chest by the breath of Boreas, God of the North Wind. "Beauty is never a crime!" she cried out passionately, her words ringing in the mist-wreathed woods. "You are blinded by your hatred of things that are good in the world! If words are truly foundations of everything, as the ancient people of ancient Egypt knew to be true in their wise hearts, why do you hate a world made of words? Words and beauty are like the ancient twins of Greek mythology, Castor and Pollux, bound together for eternity in harmony and effervescent joy of beholden union!"

"Shut up," sneered Joe.

Cicily bowed her head as if pleading forgiveness. She did not beg forgiveness from the universe for herself, but for Joe, who did not understand what was to be understood. Then she drew her long, gleaming, silver spear with the authentically shaped Roman head and thrust it into her sneering partner's chest.

He gasped as he fell, and his misty breath mingled with the mist and his red blood fed the soil upon which he fell. Even Joe could be beautiful.

"When shadows fall across the face of time," Cicily murmured, "those with clocks will regret their foolishness."

The world sighed around her as her words of purest truth blended and suffused the misty morning, twining in harmony about the wise young queenly woman who fought to help them against the forces of sneering smug impetuousness and vicious cynicism. She felt their humble, loving thanks and laughed joyously, stretching out her arms to engulf them.

Chapter 7: THE END?!?!?

(AN: OMG this is it! The last chappie! I ope u like it, lol!

JayBird: IDK? teh Marqis is meen bcuz he is sad, so if u get his haracter rite, it shuld b ok? Tnax 4 reviuing!)

So AGent Auroroa took the Ring and wen tback 2 FiCPsych, and gave it 2 the Kudzo. "Here you go!" said Aurora. "How will this help u b a girla gain?"

U c, Aurora sed the Kuxdu this ring is not really a ring. I sed it wuz a secret weapon, and so it is. Bhold!!! And the Kudzu took the ring nd held it up and upt it on 1 of her purple flowers, and FLASH!

There was a flash of light, and beams of 7 colors of teh rainbow leaped up from the ring and lit up the kudsu like the aurora borealis! (AN: I got eh idea 4 this from JayBird, hope u dont mind JB!
"O wow," said Aurora, "its just like my namesake!"

Yes, said the Kudzu. That is how i knew u were the 1 2 save us. thank u, Agent Aurora! I am female again! And now I will go 2 the MArquis de Sod and confess my love!

And she did.

Marquis de Sod she sad, I have loved u 4 a very ong time, but i wuz afraid 2 tell u bcuz u r so mean all the time! But now i know it is bcuz u r so sad. Please let me help u!

And the Marquis said, Kudxu, I had no idea u felt htat way about me! I love u 2, but I though every1 hated me and liked the SO better. Im so glad u told me!

And they hugged!

Later that month they got married, and invoted Agent Aurora 2 b the maid of honor and Frodo 2 b best man (bcuz he wuz there when LEgolas turned every1 OOC and he wuz friends with Auroroa). And they lived happily ever after!

TEH END!


(AN: So that is it, the very lastchappie of my story! I hope u liked it. Plz READ N REVIW! I have another story idea based on adraam i had, but idk if i will rite it, lol. Do u think i shuld? Let me know!

XOXOXOX)

Category: PPC
Title: Ponys of futuure passed!
Rating: PG
Summary: Sparkly EDesu is he only hop 4 the fautuer! Pls Reed 7 Rveue! Noflames pls!
Action/Friendship

A/N: Thea PPC is doing abunch of AI futere stiries and I thonk its a goos idea. So Ih ope you likeit ! ———————————————--

Sparkly Desy wus waking thru the halls of teh Ponys of te Plott Continum barn (A?N::)). She as hapy an smilling but shewas aslo sad and unhapy bcuz noone was being frendz. Thiss was teh fture an it wasnt' gud,

Sudenly their was a flesh of lite and their was anuther Sparkly Desu standing in font of he otter Sparkly Desi and they wer both the same and wer boht pink and bith had suparkawaiidesunes yelow mains and there cuti marks wear almst the smae smily face but the other one jad a eyeoatch on herr cutie mark and they luked at eachother and siad "Iam Sparkley Dessu and I a froom the futeure and I am hear too yell u that u most go too the psat and make evry1 be firends agan!!" "Ok, I wil go to teh past end make evry1 be freinds again." and thy used the powwer of freindship and went bak in tim!

"We hav made it badk in time!" "Yws we have!" And than their was antoher Sporkly Desu in fribt of thema nd they were all teh sam nad they said "We r Sparjly Desu adn we r form the future an we r her to trll u that u most mak every1 be frinds!" "I wil make evrey1 be freinds!" and tehre was a fklash if lightand their was aother Sparkky Desuu stnading their and shee wad evern more SUPARKAQAIIDESUNES thne the otheras! "Teh futrue is fixd!@" adn they al hac a party cuz teh futtre was fuxed!

A/N: Ihope u like teh stry. Teh duture is savd! Pls R7R butt nofalmes! Be nic!

The comments below are pure gold.

I mean seriously, we have experienced sporkers pretending to be like 12 year old fangirls (Who's creations are their regular targets).

What gets more hilarious than that?

Can a newbie without Permission take the time to attempt to write a PPC goodfic to test her skills?

Srsly u guys are sooo much fun n I cant wait to try this out 4 da first tiem!

Summary: Agents Rina and Randa r doin nothin until... THE CONSOL GOES OF!! Its a misson in da HP UNIVERSE!


Sorry, just having a bit of fun here. I'll post my thought-out badfic later. ...or is that contradictory? ;)
-Iximaz

((Psst... The link for the category just shows the header for the page and nothing else-- no links, stories, etc.))

So, here iz my nu and 1s sotry for this thing, hoep you guys enjoy this R=R plz!!!!

The old-Nu Agnt
Summary: a oldagent returns and shoes the a nu agent how to do fings.
Rating: E
Genre: Action

Agent Thorne Blake Spectre Gawainson strode confdiently thru the hall of the PPC, he'd returned cos he'd heard that the nuagents weren't doing a gud job of killng off da sues and he'd been needed to clear sum of um up and train som newbies ups. Reachin the room of da first agent he was to train Thoren knocked. A quic scuffle waz herd behind the door b4 a youngish looking agent appeared. "Sup" Thorne sed "my name's Agent Thorne blake specter gawanison, I'm hear to train you to b a bttr agent." "Ok" the man behind the door sed "I'm called Apollo." "Ok then Apollo Thorne ed "Letz get a missiun up andsee how you do." walking over to the machine (A/N I forgot what they're called) Thorne clicked on a special link that let him see all of da missiuns available. "Sneior agents only" hesaid as explanation to Apollo, already predicting waht was on da other agents mind. Seeing a gud mission Thoren claimed it and opened it up. "Com'on" he sed to Apollo "letz see wot this is like." "Ok" Apoolo sed stepping through the portalthing after Thorne they landed in a forest, "right letz gt ot work" Thorne sed "How" Apollo asked. thorne shook his hed "Rookies he said. "It's simple, us proper agents can see the difference between canon and the bad prts of the fic, and mst good agent have powers that let them remove it like this." Thorne concentrated as he spread his forcefield round the world, collecting up all the bits of badfic and hurling thm off planet and into the sun. "lets find another fic for you to do tht on" thorne said. "I can't" Apoolo said "I can;t do that, I'm just an archer." Pfft archers" thorne said 2train in a real way of combat thorne patted the two katanas on his back, until then why don't you leave the badficsto us and do somefing more ur thing on da other sidde of the PPC. "Yeah that douns cool" Apollo sed. "Thanks Thorne for helping mesee the way, I'll let you do your awesome fing and I'll support you where I can." "you do that dood" thorne said as they exited the badfic. "now Ineed to help another newb and you should go seed the Marquis du Sod to change sides yeah."

With that Throeen and Apollo split ways and Apollo was happy in his nu position and Thorne Spectre Blake gawianson continued on helping newb agents where he cood.

A/n how do you do the line things they'rerelly cool. Plz rview or I won't rite agian.

Im os exited 4 this! Iv ben working rly hsrd on a stoy!

((Funny story; I just found out that I started a fic last year that I don't remember starting.))

Your seriously starting toget on my nerves, here. Its not very hard to learn from you're mistakes and yet here we are. Year after year, this pointless contest pops up on this Board and year after year there is only drivel.

Oh well. Might as well crituque all of you're stories.


- - -

((SeaTurtle, standing by to snark.))

Hooray! I can't wait to read them.

Summary: Another amazing adventure in the Department of Inaccuracies.
Genre: humor/parody
Rating: E for Everybody who can read can read this.

DISCLAIMER: I still don’t own the PPC, nor do I own World of Warcraft or anything else that you may recognize. But Androiaavata is mine, and I will never give up on her!

Author’s Notes:
All the reviews I got last time were so enthusiastically encouraging that I just have to do this again. Thank you, Dazz, I love you.

Somebody (not a reviewer) told me that putting author notes into the story is annoying. I will not do this again. It’s all up here now.

I was reminded that it’s good practice to link to the story that was "visited", or at least give its title and acknowledge the author. Since I forgot this: The "Minor Correction" was applied to "Why am I Here", which belongs to Jay Thorntree and Acacia Byrd.

Somebody complained that I announced a badass team, but then my second agent was not more than a bit character who didn’t really do anything and wouldn’t even have a name if it had not been mentioned in author’s notes. I promise to give her more to do this time, and you may even note some character development.

My cat got kittens, they are adorable. If you want one, e-mail me. The address should be in my profile. (Please don’t misuse this to send me flames.)

Oh, I nearly forgot again. The story to which the mission goes this year can be found here [broken link].

BTW, the Universal Translator has been repaired. On to the mission now:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The agent whose name will not be revealed sat in his RC writing fan-fiction when the console BEEEPed and a half-dressed night-elf ran out of the bath-room. The male eyes watched with pleasure as she crossed the room and bent over the console to read the Intel report.

"Oh, it is for our secret second department again", said Androiaavata. "And I’m afraid this time we will need the wiki printout." Her partner looked puzzled and slightly disappointed as she hefted the flash patch displaying the quill dropping red ink onto her long blue gown, heaved a huge tome from the book-shelf and, holding the book high above her very pointy ears, strolled over to his desk.

"What story is it?" asked the man.

"This one", answered the night-elf, bringing the book down on his head. WHACK! "Watch your rating!" WHACK! "You know quite well –" Whack! "– that I would not –" Whack! "– appear half nude –" WHACK "– in a place –" Whack "– where you can see me."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Ouch, this was unexpected. Anyway, read and review, please. (Yes, I learned what Plz R+R! means.) And maybe you can tell me in your comments what you think the rating should have been. I don’t get why Androia was so angry. Is this adult content or what?

I expect to get at least twice as many reviews as I got for the previous story, otherwise I will never write again.

((OOC Note to fanficWorld Admin: The [broken link] is broken because I cannot edit the Board. Inserting a link back to itself there might add to the fun. HG))

A Morning of Mourning

Angst/Action - PG-13

A sotry abut my new semi-favouri agent, SUPERNUMBERARY! Also mayb som SUSPRISES!

A/N: HAI GUYZZZZ!!!!! ITZ ME JEYBIRD! Ok so I have a new favourite agent JUST KILLING!!! Obvs my favorite argents are still JAYCACIA and JAY and the SO but I hav a new SEMI-FAUVOTIRE AGENT. His name is SUPERNUMBERARY and he is SO HAWT. So tihs is my story about Supernumberary. Plsz R&R!

Supernumberary was riding through HQ on his partner Illian, who was a blue horse thing only he's got eyes like a snail on his head and no mouth (A/N: whats up with taht?!?). And they rode into the Tomb of the PPC Agent, and Supernumberary got down from Illian and knelt on the floor.

~Oh wow,~ said Illian (A/N: he tolks in flanty lettrs but I don no how 2 do tehm ok???), ~what is this place? It's pretty big.~

"It's the Tomb of the PPC Agent," said Supernumberary. "It's where we write down all the names of all the PPC agents who have been all the killed." (A/N: C what I ddi their???)

~Oh wow,~ said Illian, ~so who are all the people who are named here?~

"Well, there are lots," said Supernumberary, still kneeling. "There are Elizabeth and Anya and Osbert, who were the first PPC Agents. There is the Mysterious Somebody, who was in charge before he got killed. There is Jaycacia Thornbyrd, who has since come back to life."

~Of course,~ said Illian, ~I know that. Everyone knows the great Jaycacia.~

"I know," said Supernumberary seriously. "There is also the Untangler and the Agent, who are Time Lords, so they got better as well."

~That must be really useful,@ said Illian. ~I wish I was a Time Lord.~

"Maybe someday you will be," said Supernumberary encouragingly. "And there are lots of other names, like (A/N: culdnt' think of tehse so fil it inn yousef!)"

~But what about Acacia?~ asked Illian. ~Surely she is also dead.@

"We can never be sure of that," said Supernumberary seriously. "Acacia had powers beyond our understanding and also she is evil."

~Oh ok,~ said Illian. ~So why are we here?~

"I needed to pray," said Supernumberary, "but I have done it now. So we can go."

~I don't like this place,~ said Illian, as they walked out of the door. ~It's sad.~

~Yes,~ said Supernumberary seriously. "It is the Tomb of the PPC Agent."

~Ah,~ said Illian, ~that would explain it.~

I haven't read the books in ages, but I was a huuuuuge fan of them when they first came out.
Alas, I don't really intend to write missions any time soon. If anyone needs a hand for a charge list/beta or whatever, though, I'm totally game.

So, what's your E-mail address? Mine is hasanadil233@gmail.com

Doc stared into his own Butterbeer for a long moment. Across the table, Vania was ticking her eyes back and forth, watching the other faces at the table and holding her hot dog as she chewed.

Finally, Doc took another sip of the drink and leaned back again. "I guess . . . I kind of see what you mean about change? It's like, the worlds whose authors quarantine them. They're safe from badfic, but the world gets kind of stuck, because no one can add new side stories except the original author. So nothing ever changes, and we don't get to see the characters grow beyond their original appearance."

He nodded to himself, drank more Butterbeer, and continued. "And we're the order, huh? We're around to balance out when the chaos gets too out of hand, like in trollfic." More Butterbeer, then a grin towards Jenni. "It's almost like we're the protagonists in our own plot!"

I’m so, so sorry to inflict like this upon you guys, but I don’t think I can bear the weight of something this Bad alone anymore

These are the worst pieces of Badfic to come out of the Brony fandom. no, that’s not enough to describe them. These are the worst thing in the history of written fiction.

These are worse than even Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, Pattycakes, Cherilee’s Garden, Sweetapple Massacre and Pages of Harmony combined.

So without further ado, let the truly brave amongst us dive into the lowest circle of Badfic Tartarus.

(Disclaimer: A good portion of the writing in this rant is taken from the Tv Tropes The Conversion Bureau YMMV page and I give the wonderful tropers who wrote and edited it express credit. They can better articulate what I currently can’t in my own seething hatred for these atrocious abominations)

Chatoyance's work in the Conversion Bureau-verse - NSFB

The original work The Conversion Bureau is already Badfic enough on its own, being absolutely misanthrofic, depicting humans as irredeemably flawed and show ponification making humans into categorically better beings with kinder, less violent minds.

In both the original fic and Chayotance's work, Celestia is replaced by a misanthrophic tyrant commonly known in the rest of the Brony Fandom as Xenolestia.

Chayotance however, further adds brimstone to the hellfire by bashing religion, furthering the horrifying brainwashing aspects of ponyfication and the fact that Equestrian ponyfication barrier wipes away anything that was created by humans in a way that leaves no evidence of their prior existence; which includes the arts, sciences, physical memories, buildings, and human advancements; in other words, the last step of the perfect genocide

The most atrocious example are probably Ten minutes:aftermath which inferred to be a direct insult to author of a Conversion Bureau fixfic, The reasonably adamantly down with Celestia Newfoal Society which is yet another caustic insult towards critics of her work and
critics of the TCB-verse in general, and well... I will need a whole section to cover the absolutely worst one.

Universe Three: The Friendship Virus . Fans of show are repelled because it has nothing to do with ponies. Conversion Bureau fans are turned off because it is a Conversion Bureau story in name only. Males would be repulsed at the incredibly misandric subject matter and the idea of forcibly feminizing men via bioterrorism. Feminists might be repelled because of how Chatoyance portrays all women as flawlessly angelic Purity Sues. So who or what is this story supposed to appeal to exactly?

Furthermore, it has been blasted for its incredibly sexist portrayal of men as Always Chaotic Evil barbarians who are responsible for 98% of the world's violence and women as one dimensional angelic Purity Sues who are all nurturing and kind. The eponymous DNA altering virus makes men become like women in every way except for their physical sexual characteristics (and even then those things are altered somewhat), while the women who were exposed to the virus are just made to become even more nurturing and gentle.

Furthering the issue, Chayotance rejects any Canon that does not befit her vision or that she dislikes and makes open statements that are interpreted as her knowing the show better than even Faust herself. yeah!

The National Department of Redundant Redundancy Department of Redundancy of Our Great Nation, in conjunction with the Nonsense League and the Association for the Stupidification of All Things presents:

Pheonix White: Justifications of Justice!

To be honest, this made me laugh really hard, simply because it's so incredibly absurd. It's kind of like Thirty Hs, in that it makes about as much sense. I especially appreciate how the author goes out of his or her way to note that impossible things are happening, whereas usually impossible things happen in a badfic because the author forgot something or just doesn't know something. It manages to be both a great deal less disturbing and more redundant than Thirty Hs.

In fact, it's so redundant that I think this may actually be a job for the Department of Redundancy Department...

All that being said, I think it's a troll. While the author's profile and other stories are nearly as confusing as Justifications, I can't help but notice that he or she took the space and effort to link to no fewer than two sporkings of Justifications, as well as compliment and thank the sporkers. So either it's a troll, or the person just has a supermassive sense of humor.

Either way, this story made me laugh and go "What the -" and was all around amusing. I'd recommend giving it a read "for the lulz." 😄

Readable and fairly in character (at least for Levi), but a doozy. And while we're on the subject...

Here's a charmer. Armin/Jean AU with bad SPaG, adopted!kid!Ymir and Marco, random Annie, and an accidental Doctor Who/Star Trek Voyager reference because of said bad SPaG (a bit is referred to as "The Doctor").

Some of you guys may remember Firmagic reporting a really bad Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha x Halo bleepfic while basically tearing her hair out; some of you might also remember the over-long mission that sporked it.
Well, since I'm morbidly curious I looked at the author's profile and discovered he wrote more of the same type (rated M, most definitely NSFB).

You can put it on the wiki's Unclaimed Badfic page, here: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Unclaimed_Badfic
It doesn't look like there's an Attack on Titan category, but you can easily create one in the Anime section of the page!

-Aila

Let's see what we've got... Ravenmeans explicitly 'hate the sinner, not [just] the sin', which I'm not certain is the espoused philosophy of any Christian group. It may be what they do, but most if not all claim that you should love the sinner. So they're definitely the First Church of Strawman.

We have the first instance of this story actually being an improvement over the books - they teach Maths and English! Graduates of the HSoW&W don't get either of those.

Hedwig has... oh, stars and water, I can't believe I get to type this... Hedwig has been replaced by a literal angel (with a yellow halo - surely gold is preferable?) who delivers the mail. I'm now imagining Hedwig with a halo, and it's adorable.

And, for some reason, Dean Thomas remains a main character. Is this because Ron is in Slytholic, and Slytholic are evil? Who knows! Not me.

And one more for the troll points: every single dialogue tag has an adverb attached. That's too consistent to be just a bad habit.

hS is enjoying this far too much

We discussed this down the Board: here

Long story short; we don't touch this sort of story, bad though it may be. Religion is a tricky subject and too easy to cross a line with.

-Phobos

I've reworded the beginning of the document, and added Omri to the staff.

Unless anyone has a better idea, I made Janelle native to a Burn Notice badfic.

Getting this center fleshed out will be useful, to reduce the number of "portal to an off-screen OFU that we don't know really exists" scene that so many missions feature.

I like the set of characters you've developed here. They each have a reasonable reason for wanting to work with minis, but it's a variety of reasons across the board, which gives each staff member the opportunity to have their own personality rather than be interchangeable, generic staff. I especially like that you've involved World One and New Caledonia in Rhonda's backstory, especially since it's in a way that continues to affect her. It will be good to see New Cal get a bit of screen time now and then. (And good research job, giving Dr. Beaufils a French name.)

Also, we do have one existing character already shown to work in the MAC: Omri Stone. I'm not surprised you didn't know about him, because even though I knew he existed, I couldn't remember his name, and it took me about five straight minutes of searching around the wiki to get to his page.

Anyway, neither of his appearances cast him as being in charge of the operation, so I don't think there's any harm to keep your co-administrators co-administrators, and let Omri be regular staff. (We can certainly ask Miah, Omri's creator and only writer to-date, just in case. We'll have to catch her in the chat sometime.) (And look! That first link on Omri's page mentions other agents working in the background. Your new characters already have appearances! WOOOO!)

A few very minor nitpicks in the text itself. Sacor's section refers to this as creation of a new department, but it should just be a division of the Department of Operations.

Also, more of a subjective thing, but we know where all your characters come from, except for Janelle. I know she last saw her original canon as a five-year-old, so it probably wouldn't affect her character very much, but it would still be nice to know which corner of the multiverse she's from.

So all-in-all, good, practical world-building, with some excellent character design to boot. Good show!

(Now someone with Microsoft Publisher skills and free time, make a couple of those pamphlets mentioned in Sacor's section!)

Fortunately, suggestions are just that - suggestions; no harm was done. What's more, GDerps has a rollback feature, so even if something did go wrong, it would have been simple to revert the change.

They also have a Lord of the Rings medley.

They also did a surprisingly excellent cover of What Makes You Beautiful ; most of the song was re-created by plucking the strings inside the piano. Which is quite genius.

Also, if you liked ThePianoGuys you'll probably like 2CELLOS. Headbanging awesomeness recreated with cellos. That first link was "Welcome to the Jungle", and this one is ACDC's "Thunderstruck". The music video cracks me up every time. They've also done "Back in Black" and "Smooth Criminal" and "Highway to Hell" and just so many other great classic rock songs, they're just so ridiculously talented.

Finally, I feel like everyone's head of Pentatonix at this point, but in case you haven't here's one of my favorites of theirs.

Remember me? :3

Not gonna lie, I was wondering what had happened to you. Glad to hear you're doing okay- doing great, by the sound of it. College? Yikes! But congratulations!

If you got Permission, you have it forever as far as I know. I haven't heard of Permission being retracted or anything, at least.

Welcome back!

Didn't you give me a can of virtual beef soup on a pillow as a newbie gift? (Still don't know what to do with that, but whatever.)

By the way, I was wondering whether or not somebody has done a mission for The Girl Who Lived Septology. It's on the wikia page, but it doesn't really say. It says that Des Mervin sporked it, so is that the same thing?

Aside from the obvious My Immortal and 30Hs, I think it would have to be The adventures of Dark Yagami. Horrifically OOC Light and Ryuk, ridiculous logic leaps, and a blatant Gary Sue OC named (unsurprisingly) Dark Yagami, who is supposed to be Light's long lost twin brother with his own death note and shinigami partner named bluud.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5950255/1/Power-Rangers-Public-Enemies

It's reasonably well-constructed, but takes all the worst elements of Marvel's Civil War event, and piles on tons of angst and tragedy, people turning on each other for no reason, and ends with a good chunk of the Earth's population, including a number of heroes, being tormented in Hell for quite possibly all eternity. The situation and characters are twisted out of all logic in order to force "drama." I hate this thing more than Agony in Pink, because at least that fic was honest about what it was going for. Right off the bat it let us know that we were reading torture porn, and that was exactly what it delivered, start to finish. This thing suckered me in with some interesting perspectives, and then proceeded to go completely off the rails.

Can you tell I hate this fic? Really, really hate this fic?

Okay, deep breath. On a more entertaining, but also aggravating, note, here is a repeat offender who always writes the same story, with the same self-insert (accompanied by literally dozens of inserts of her unsuspecting classmates), and forces mega-crossover after mega-crossover. Her SPaG is terrible, she has no concept of plot, and she never writes her own fic when she can get someone else to write for her. Admittedly I've given in a few times; pity, morbid curiosity, a misguided belief that I could help...

Here are a few she did manage to do all by herself:

http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=153489

http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=157381

As I'm a Wikia user, I've also run into a number of Sues and Stus whose stories haven't been actually written, but are listed as summaries or ideas. Is there anything the PPC would be able to do about that kind of thing? I mean, is that even sporking material?

There was one Pokémon badfic I found that was pretty bad. Spelling and grammar that rivaled My Immortal, a blatant Mary Sue named Ruby, reality that remained inconsistent (her love interest died no less than four times), and crossovers with Titanic, Avatar the Last Airbender, Twilight, and even reality. The author would write amusing death threats to various people who wrote bad reviews, and would devote entire chapters to killing them off. Too bad it was a Trollfic. I had so much fun with it that I made it into the (planned) first episode of my own series, Imaginations Collide, if anyone remembers me mentioning it.

Other than that, I'd say it's a toss up between The Girl Who Lived Septology and a Walking Dead badfic I found called The Walking Dead Reprisal.

The Girl Who Lived doesn't have that many spelling mistakes compared to other badfics I have read, but the so called logic of the series is painfully bad. There is one point where the main character teleports to deliver a letter from somewhere where she is trapped, and then goes back to where she is trapped! It would have made much more sense to just teleport out and stay there, right? And then there is the horrendous pro-nature, pro-nudist and arguably pro-gay themes in there. Not that I have a problem with any of those things. I mean, I personally don't conform to those viewpoints. But I'm open-minded enough to tolerate them, as long as they are not forced down my throat, like this set of "stories" does. Of course, the main character is a Mary Sue, and the main characters are put out of character.

But as a side note, this series had so much potential, even though it is a rip off of the Harry Potter series. For example, two of the main characters, Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom, are taken out of character, sure. But Neville is given a more interesting backstory, and Ron has replaced Ginny in the Chamber of Secrets as the vessel of the diary. These things could easily have worked, and that's what is frustrating! Neville is given a more interesting backstory, but his personality is very much like Ron at that point, and they are used interchangeably, when that should never happen! Ron being the victim of the Chamber of Secrets could have been really good, if he was kept in character and wasn't reduced to a weak and helpless ***wipe.

And to top that off, there were several new aspects of this story that I was looking forward to. The Druids were just begging to be more fully explored! And if they were going to be used, then- The story mentions Necromancers! That would have been awesome!

The reason I hated this series so much is that it had so much potential. I genuinely wanted it to turn out to be something more than it is. Unfortunately, the author just took on something too ambitious for them to handle.

The second pick I have is The Walking Dead Reprisal. This Mary Sue has a Katana and two pet wolves. Yes, a pair of pet wolves that she had met on her travels and tamed to follow her and attack on command! The sword is pushing it, but I would have let it slide. The wolves, on the other hand... Why?! Why a pair of wolves and not something more realistic, like a pair of regular dogs? They're still cute, they could still help her out, but they provide the extra challenge to protect because they were, I don't know, domestic at one point or something and not really used to fighting for their lives! But I'm going off topic, here. There is something set up at the beginning that I'm probably making more out of it than it really is, but it seems that there is some secretive shadow government watching Mary Sue in this story. And guess who Mary Sue falls in love with. DARYL, of course. And she meets him and his group when they are searching for that little girl. She follows them to Hershel's farm and tries to steal from them, but gets caught. I think it was Shane and Andrea who were the ones who were out of character and wanted to get rid of her. Shane probably would have done that in the TV series, but not for the reasons that were given. The series goes on and last I read, the crew was in the prison. I do not like this one because the Mary Sue is a classic case of when a main character, in this case, Daryl, falls in love with the Mary Sue for no real reason and with little to no time at all, when in fact, it's not in his character to do so.

So those are my Dishonorable Mentions. I hope you enjoyed them, they were The Gratest Pokémon Master (yes, that is how it's spelled), The Girl Who Lived Septology, and The Walking Dead Reprisal. And when I say "enjoy", I really mean "develop a brain tumor from pure frustration and vomit out your last meal from disgust". Here are the links.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8706167/1/The-gratest-pokemon-master

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9389565/1/The-Walking-Dead-Reprisal

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/gbmzecr4qtyt1y7/CKTkvQkQQK

If you're looking for potential targets, there's this piece of junk. Unlabeled Naruto AU that's just...why...?

(And there's my Internet good deed of the day :P)

... This guy is mind-breakingly bad in his treatment of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha canon.

WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THATS CANON WHY?
JUST, WHY IN THE NAME OF JIM, GEORGE, AND BRIAN WOULD YOU DO THAT?

A druggie doctor... just, no. NO, NOOOOOOO.

Because seriously, EVERYTHING this ***hole "writes" deserves to die.

THE SINGULAR MEMBERS/CREATURES ARE CALLED SILENTS.

I can't even. I really can't. I'm also about to check out the SPN/Torchwood crossover...here's hoping I make it out with my sanity.

Comments regarding "Three's a Crowd":

-Kindly explain to me why Ianto is chasing a demon.
-Kindly further explain to me why the demon is running from Ianto and not doing anything at all to deter him despite Ianto's chasing and shooting the demon three times. You'd think he'd have at least thrown Ianto into a wall by now.
-...Ianto, I'm going to make allowance for your loose-lippedness about Torchwood because hey, you're obviously off-balance due to sudden angel appearance.
-...Author, I don't think every single person who meets Cas needs to reiterate Dean's comment about him looking like a holy tax accountant.
-IANTO, YOU DON'T JUST TAKE AN ANGEL OUT FOR DRINKS WITHOUT EVEN CHECKING IN WITH JACK AND, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE LETTING HIM KNOW THAT YOU'RE ALIVE, THE CREATURE YOU WERE CHASING IS TAKEN CARE OF, AND OH, HEY, THERE'S A GUY HERE CLAIMING TO BE AN ANGEL. GOOD GRIEF.
-For that matter, Jack, shouldn't you be trying to contact Ianto? You haven't heard from him in a bit, and Tosh is bound to have noticed that he's no longer running anywhere but is instead heading to a bar. With company. If Torchwood doesn't show up within the next few paragraphs...
-...booming voice. Dean Winchester. Booming voice.
...I don't know, but...I tend to associate 'booming voice' more with Thor. Not really Dean. But. I suppose I can let that one slide, Dean can get pretty loud...
-CAS IS GRINNING. AND HE WAS LAUGHING BEFORE. AND THERE'S NO WAY HE CAN BE DRUNK, THAT TAKES A LIQUOR STORE.
...Okay, Cas is OOC.
-THEY'RE NOT EITHER HUNTERS, THEY'RE TORCHWOOD. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING. FOR ONE THING, THEY TAKE DOWN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CREATURES, AND FOR ANOTHER, THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING THEY DO.
-...you and Cas, huh, Dean? How about Sam? When is this set? Is he with you? When is this set?

So yeah, this doesn't seem to be finished. From this...that may be a good thing. Read at your own risk--specifically, if you think that Cas and Ianto flirting blatantly isn't something you can handle (I'm not sure how well I'm handling it), give it a miss. Or prepare to cringe.

...prepare to cringe either way.

~DF

PS: ...hold on...one more question:

/ahem/ WHY ARE CASTIEL AND DEAN IN CARDIFF.
HOW DID THEY GET THERE
WHY DID THEY GO THERE
WHY WOULD YOU BRING DEAN WINCHESTER THERE
IF YOU GOT THERE ON A PLANE, DEAN WOULDN'T BE HAPPY
IF YOU'RE ONLY THERE FOR THE ONE DEMON...THAT HAD BETTER BE ONE NASTY DEMON, WHICH IT ISN'T, BECAUSE CAS TOOK IT OUT WITH ALMOST NO EFFORT, SO WHY BRING DEAN IN THE FIRST PLACE? AND FURTHERMORE, WHY EVEN CHASE IT TO BEGIN WITH?

/heavy breathing/ Okay, I'm done. Anyone who wants to do something with this, go with my blessing and support.

~DF

PPS: (All ranting aside, I'm not entirely sure it's mission-worthy...but you never know. See what you think of it. It's good for a rant, at least.)

... that I read is an insult to my childhood. My one elixir of joy, my one connection to young siblings of mine, and he dare accuse them of horrible deeds regarding children?

And how dare they kill sweet little Elmo, no matter how annoyingly high pitched his voice is.

Did anyone have Bleep products? A gallon of Bleeptea would be nice.

I have momentarily resurrected myself from beyond the grave just to facepalm at this.

OK WHAT THE ****BRO!!!!!

JUST THE SUMMARY IS F***ED UP!!!!!

DEAR GOD, CAN IT ACTUALLY GET ANY WORSE THAN VIOLATION OF THE EVENSTAR, BECAUSE I THINK WE JUST FOUND SOMETHING THAT'S WORSE!!!!!!!111!!

CAPSLOCK RAGE RANT OVER

//Crawls into corner//
//Forever cries//

Operation Fornication (M, NSFW) - where do I even begin?
Aside from the fact that, you know, even if the Doctor had children, they'd only be half-Time Lord.

...for people to respond. I'm in need of things to read as well. Advice I'd give (Haven't done my own missions yet, and I haven't read many, but, why not.) is start off from the the middle of the mission, where things are just starting to go awry, and then jump to the beginning. This might help hook people in and give you the in-your-face factor you want. Just a n00b's two cents.

Did you ever actually receive Permission? I remember Huinesoron did not grant you Permission on your last attempt.

Also, we kind of already have a goodfic thread right here: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=264054;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board Thanks for stopping by, though.

the second chapter Is shorter and mostly serves as exposition for the velvet room. it also introduces 1 new character and elaborates on another.

I am having some technical issues with documents for a while.
Still, I definitely should have sent you something notifying you about it. I am glad you found someone apparently more knowledgeable in the matter than me and were able to get it up
and running.

Persona Alpha looks good. I like the mixing of early Persona games elements such as Philemon with Persona 3 ones such as the Dark Hour.

Just clear me up on something. wasn't Senna's persona supposed to be Phoenix of the Sun Arcana or was it spelled differently in the early Personas?

The following review is going to contain my honest opinions. I apologize in advance if I seem to be insulting in places. That is not and has never been my intention.

As doctorlit mentioned, I don’t understand why Rashida is so unpleasant to her partner. She hits Falchion with insults and sarcasm right out of the gate and it doesn’t really let up. It makes me not really like her as a character. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, so long as that was your intention.

Do you really need Rashida to go over almost every bit of basic information with Falchion? Has he not received any training in the three days he’s been in headquarters? Not even a quick spiel from one of the Flowers? I would presume that anyone who joins the PPC at least has some cursory knowledge about what they do. Otherwise, why would they join? Plus, it feels somewhat redundant from a meta-audience standpoint. Most of the people who are going to read your story know about Sues and the PPC.

I fail to see the point of the recurring bit with Falchion recording the tickling scenes. I’m not sure if it was supposed to be funny, some kind of character building, or something else. Because Rashida is right; he is jeopardizing the Duty by doing that. It almost feels like he’s an addict considering that he runs away to film Neo in a separate room at one point. It’s also questionable in the sense that he is recording people without their knowledge or consent for his own personal use. If your intent was to build up his character, I’d question your methods in that regard.

There are points where Rashida and Falchion’s dialogue sound pretty much interchangeable. Act 3 page 13, for example, when the two are talking about the Chell/Neo ship. I had to read the section a few times to determine who was saying what.

Falchion’s revelation occurs far sooner in the fic than I had anticipated. It’s also a bit… anti-climactic. It’s just sort of “and then he remembered” and the story continues on from them. I feel like you could have kept dragging that out. To have the revelation in the first act drags down the pacing of the rest of the story in my view, particularly since he seems to get over it relatively quickly.

Everything involving Ripper confronting the agents feels very contrived. Anyother agents would have assassinated him the moment he found out about their existence, story be damned. Rashida has several instances where she can and should shoot him in Act 4 when he first shows up (also he pulls a gun out of nowhere in that scene). Plus, considering that his threats have no payoff, what was the point?

On a more positive note, you do a decent job balancing the agents with actual lines from the fic. It’s a hard mix to get right. There are some areas where it could be better (if the fic-text takes up more than half a page, it’s probably a bit much) but it was never too obtrusive.

I also liked the agent’s transition into the pseudo-scriptfic style of the story. I feel like it goes on a bit too long, though. And you really didn’t need to bring it back.

Finally, some specific criticisms:
– “No, this is Bad Slash [...] Of course you're in RC #227! It gives me such joy to think that you honestly got the number wrong.” The structure of this phrase is rather strange, which I would argue is in part due to the sarcasm feeling forced.
– “Canonically, Stratogale only appeared in one scene in the film[...]” Why would Rashida need to say this if Falchion is the big Incredibles fan? He should probably be the one saying it.
– The transition between Acts 3 and 4 was very jarring. The two were at each others throats and then… everything’s fine. Maybe you haven’t rewritten that part yet.
– Why didn’t your agents immediately take the real Violet back to Medical immediately upon finding her? There’s no point to them dragging her around other than to create unnecessary drama.
– Your first charge list is a block of text nearly half a page long, making it nearly impossible to read. Your second charge list isn’t much better in terms of its length.

All in all, I did not enjoy this story. Your characters were unlikeable in my eyes and your actual story dragged on for far too long for what ultimately far too little of a payoff. Starting off with the epic multiparter was perhaps not the best way to introduce readers to Falchion and Rashida.

I read this mission during a work shift, so this may not be as comprehensive as usual, due to the lag between reading it and writing this. I just wanted to make some general, overall observations. (I also obviously couldn't listen to the music at work, so I won't comment on that.)

First, on the relationship between Rashida and Falchion. I don't understand why Rashida has so much enmity towards Falchion. Being upset at him filming the tickling scenes is understandable, and, of course, there was the fight scene in the introductory interlude. However, in this mission, Rashida keeps saying that Falchion is incompetent and arrogant, and as a reader, I don't understand why. As far as I can tell, Rashida hasn't seen any evidence of Falchion being incompetent: their fight was close, as they both had red health bars in the final turn. He also displays functioning knowledge of the crossover's main canons. Sure, there are some things he's unfamiliar with, but all in all, he's doing pretty well for a recent recruit on his first mission, especially in light of what he discovers later.

I have an even harder time understanding Rashida's claims of arrogance on Falchion's part. The audience gets a paragraph of narration from Falchion's perspective during the battle, but Rashida isn't privy to that; from her point of view, Falchion is acting just like a regular, wild Skarmory (putting aside the question of just how self-aware Pokémon are, since that varies by title). I also don't see much pride in this mission; Falchion is acting pretty green, both questioning his partner about unfamiliar things as well as testing what behaviors she's comfortable with him performing in her presence. Some changes need to be made on one side or the other: either add some instances of Falchion behaving in ways that justify Rashida's complaints, or change her dislike to something more concrete that we-the-audience can see in the text.

I like both agent's frequent usage of phrases from their homeworlds in their speech and thought. It makes them feel more like denizens of those places, rather than being a sphinx and a metal bird who just talk like Earth humans. I don't know ancient Egyptian mythology well enough to understand all of the references Rashida makes, but it still leaves the impression of her culture on her character, and also gives further evidence of her role as a deity's champion. Falchion's usage of Pokémon descriptors is quite amusing and creative, too. (Although "right off the Zubat" doesn't quite work for me, since that phrase is referring to a baseball bat.)

I also think the mission has some excellent pacing. Despite the jumble of canons present, with each one, you give the reader a chance to absorb it and see it's effect on what was already happening. It made it very easy to follow. The way you divided the mission into acts helps this as well, as it gives mental stop-points for me to digest it in chunks. Considering how long you've indicated the original fic was, (I'm guessing) you're doing a good job of trimming the parts presented in the mission down to just the bare bones needed to show the plot and demonstrate how bad it is. I am looking forward to seeing the remainder of the mission, and the massive disentangling on the horizon.

(Disclaimer: The following comment is because I want to help you improve your mission, not because I'm a demanding or mean beta reader. Please reply with that in mind.)

It's great that you reformatted and shortened it, but you appear to have ignored several of the wording changes I/Storme Hawk/Desdendelle/whoever put in while this was under construction. There are a few stray "we"'s in the third person sections, for example, and the narration still has Ing Disease. And what are you doing posting a mission before it's done anyway?

I'll have to ask you to open Mission 1.1 and 1.2 for comments/suggestions...again. This time, make sure every change from "we" to "they" gets accepted, all right?

I would give money to to author for her hard work, if I knew of any way to do so. However, I have posted a much longer rant on why I adore this thing, so I will just link to it here. If that is not enough for you, here is a review by one of the best fic reviewers in the fandom. Are there flaws? Yes. Is it for everybody? Celestia's mane, no. Is it worth your time? Absolutely.

WARNING: The following post contains vague spoilers for "Fallout: Equestria" and serious spoilers for the Fallout series. Proceed at your own risk.

It's been a while since I read the "Fallout: Equestria" series, so I will admit up front that I might be misremembering some aspects of it. However, I'm not writing this post to talk about the minutiae of the story. I want to present why I believe that this story does not execute the crossover concept well. "Fallout: Equestria," in my view, fails to understand key aspects of both My Little Pony and Fallout. Especially Fallout.

First off, My Little Pony. I felt that the characterization of the Mane Six (who appear in various flashbacks sparked by stored memories) was exaggerated to fit the concept of a Fallout-colored universe. They felt flat to me; exaggerations of the character's most notable qualities slathered with a grim paint. The decisions they make in the story don't gel with what I know about them from the show (and that is taking into account when the story was written in relation to the show's production).

The story's relationship with Fallout is even more tenuous. For all its destruction and horrors and war that never changes, Fallout is at its core a story about hope. We see in that series -- particularly in Fallout 2 and Fallout: New Vegas -- a world that may scarred and nasty, but at the same time is mending. People are surviving. Civilization is recovering. In Fallout 3, that's admittedly a bit harder to see (and I feel like "F:E" takes the most inspiration from that entry). But even there, the audience has hope. In "F:E," the only real suggestion we get that the world might repair itself comes at the very end. Up until that point, the audience is continuously hammered with the point that almost everything is terrible and almost everypony is suffering.

Yes, player choice in the video game does mean that you can potentially make things even worse. But consider what we know about the canon of Fallout. We know that the Master's army from the original game was destroyed. We know that the Enclave's plan to dose the world with a modified Forced Evolutionary Virus from the second game was stopped. This implies that ultimately the characters from those iterations of the games were forces for good (for the most part). I admit that's an area up for debate, though.

There are also other problems with the story that don't necessarily extend from the canons involved. The characterization of Little Pip, for one. I found her constant angst to become rather grating as time went on, especially considering the amount of praise she receives from others. The pacing of the story is also really rough. You can get away with padding and side-quests in an open-world video game; not so much in a written story.

It's not the worst thing I've ever read, but neither does it necessarily deserve the praise it has received. There's just too much wrong with it, in my mind.

PC

It's awesome!

I actually haven't read it myself, but I keep meaning to. I've heard a lot of good things about it.

Speaking of WJ, has anyone heard from him lately?

There is also is a spin-off called Fallout: Equestria- Pink Eyes that is also pretty good. It obviously shares the world and lore of F:E but features a different story than Littlepip's. Puppysmiles is the cutest undead filly "living" in the Equestrian Wasteland that you will ever meet... wait, that's probably the most weirdly specific superlative I have ever written as well... Glaurunging Overly Narrow Superlatives!

Also, I have an announcement to make!

I'm thinking of writing a Grimdark fic for no other reason than to make it into a mission that I will do. I have some questions to ask, first, though.

1. First of all, am I even allowed to do that?

2. Second of all, what source material can I find? I know of Cupcakes, Cheerilee's Garden and Apple Acres Massacre (I think that's what it's called).

3. Is there any definable formula for writing a Grimdark? Is it basically just anything that's dark and disturbing with no limitations or barriers?

4. When I write it, where should I put it? The Pit?

I just finished reading Chapter One, and I'm kind of excited. Definitely bookmarking that EQD page so I can read it later.

Oh my gosh, I'm wasn't the only person in the world not to have read Fallout: Equestria!... Well, now that you've read it, I guess I am...
I'm always feeling like a minority when this story comes up.