May 2014 Archive, part a

What I find funny actually quite depends on my mood. PPC-wise, though, there are some characters that are just inherently funny (such as the Notary, Ilraen and Eargus Khan), and there are some situations that are inherently funny - agents trying to avoid making the console [BEEEEEP!].

That said, not all missions are funny. One mission I wrote was less funny and more 'oh gods I need to spork this before I'll go nuts'.

Overblown rants about/reactions to things are pretty funny, too. (Watch Fullmetal Alchemist and you'll see what I mean.)

But I'm confused. What don't you find funny about us? We have plenty of funny folks! Herr Wozzeck, the Fisherman, PoorCynic...

There's nothing quite as good as a couple of characters snarking, bickering, laughing, and the like. In fact, that's one of the major reasons why I like the PPC. Interaction is a large part of the comedy. On a related note, if you don't think what you've seen of the PPC is funny, but you want to write PPC stories, what will your stories be like?

But I've been meaning to do this for a long time. At some point I'll probably re-record it with better recording equipment, don't worry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DNHnymg1mY

Just asking because while I don't have a lot of time to write up a fresh thing aside from my current missions and stuff (and doctorlit stole my idea! :( ) I do have a couple projects I'm probably going to start up over the weekend that'd fit under this umbrella. Of course, they are long term and might take a while to bear fruit.

Also, I've a new idea for one mission I'm already doing, so keep your eyes peeled.

I couldn't really think of anything else, but I realize this is pretty cracky compared to the poetry-type stuff everyone else is doing. I guess it's not really a story, either. Uh. The mini-Aragog's part is in bold.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

A MINI-BALROG!
VERSUS!
A MINI-ARAGOG!

BEGIN!

M-B: The best and original, from Miss Cam's mind
We were first in line, other minis fall behind
Blazed new trails, lit the way for all our kind
We're the agents' favorites, while you're just maligned!

'Cause you're a wannabe-Shelob arachnoid beast
Out of all the mini types, you get cuddled the least
Agents blow all their salary on oven mitts to give me a hug
You're just a mess of hairy legs, no one likes a giant bug!

M-A: Listen now, my Precious, to the web we spins
Middle-earth suffered sorrow from the sins of your kins
When Aragog died, Rubeus Hagrid cried
No one cares for your original except for the bad guys!

At least we're the size of our source's pups
Stand next to yours, you doesn't quite measure up
Even Hobbits make fun of your height out of spite
Like Ungoliant, we'll snuff out your light and set all to rights!

We reads, we speaks, you doesn't know how
(Actually, we isn't sure how you sings right now)
Step into our parlor, here's the end you reaps
For you digs too greedily and too deep!

M-B: Your speech is ripped off from one of my canon's canons
You sit alone in a corner, while we're always plannin'
Ways to keep lusty fanbrats afraid in their rooms
When it comes to Mary Sues, I misspell doom!

You also hates the nasty fanbrats?
I simmer and smolder with rage for the fanbrats!
Scaring and snaring and daring the fanbrats!
Whipping and tripping and nipping the fanbrats!

As the minis' voices degenerated into a fit of hissing and growling, the A/V geek removed her eye from the camera's viewing port. "I'm not sure why I thought this was a good idea."

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

ERB belongs to Nice Peter and epicLLOYD. Mini-Balrogs belong to Miss Cam, and mini-Aragogs belong to Meir Brin.

Agent Apollo.
The one who can see through gas,
liquid, fire and dark

ex-vigilante
protector of his people.
Now, an assassin

Of Agent Kelly
A daughter of Apollo
half god, half woman

Survivor of war
defender of Manhattan.
Now takes on the 'Sues

With Agent Zoro
A secret he clings onto
Pokemon, not man.

In the PPC
A Master of Illusions.
It is Zoroark.

Last, Agent Kaatah
A Quarian Engineer,
away from the fleet

Wielded her shotgun
Defended against the Geth
now, DMFF.

Thought I'd try to put my Agents into Haiku, not one of my better attempts at Haiku (most are unfortunately lost), but still thought I'd share it with you guys. If anyone wants me to try and fit their Agents/characters into a Haiku or two I'd be happy to try.

It was just a day in PPC,
That seemed as normal as could be.
But then came a double-take
From Makes-Things's mistake
Normal? Well, let's say we'll see.

It was quite an explosive mix
And made many agents quite sick.
Then someone cried: "Glory me!"
I have got it, you see.
The narrative is in limericks!"

The style made Justine quite dizzy,
And that put her in a tizzy.
She couldn't run away,
So, then, she must stay.
In complaining she was quite busy!

Agent Amanda was sick to her tummy,
And she didn't find it so funny,
As did her fellow agents
Who in laughter were spent.
They nearly ended that time as mummies!

There was much complaints,
Lots of 'no' s, 'why' s, and 'ain't' s.
And to throttle Makes-Things
Folk had strangling strings!
This stuff'd make any quite faint!

"When the narrative rhymes,
We must, all the time!"
Said grumbling PPC
Windward and lee.
People started talking in mime.

Then Makes-Things got it fixed.
If nothing, that was a trick!
He was under such pressure,
No chances could measure!
But there'd be no more limericks!

It couldn't have come too late.
Agents cried out: "It was fate!
Now we can speak freer
Without anapestic meter!
We're all free to go and do... wait."

... well... define 'short'. This comes in at almost exactly 2000 words - though a fair few of them are names.

A little explanation may be required. This is a Shakespearean-style play, but it's not a 'PPC mission in iambic pentameter'. Rather, it's a look at what might have happened if the concept of the PPC was invented in Shakespeare's day. Like the Protectorate of Plort, it blurs the line between the community and the stories.

Since it's so long, I've left commenting enabled. If you have overall comments, you can leave them on the Board to make the thread look well-visited, but if you've got things to say about lots of specific lines (rather than just a few), you can put them in the comments.

The Army for Protecting Stage-Worlds

And an exchange which I didn't manage to work in:

SMITHSON:
If you do not like it, then, in truth,
You do not have to listen!

CARTWRIGHT:
There's a choice?

hS having fun.

PS: Also, the 'one giant palindrome' idea has caught my interest. Phobos, you're a terrible person. ~hS

Wouldn't look good if I didn't participate, would it? I decided to go with a Ballade, which means there is a certain rhyming scheme and structure.

It takes place during the Fall of HQ in my Catastrophe Theory series. That said, this one is kind of depressing. You've been warned.


"Catastrophe Theory: Ballade of Ashen Walls"

In labyrinthine, leaden halls
Agents amass to pool their might.
Though ragged, many heed the call,
All knowing how ill runs their plight.
Steeling themselves against their fright
They shoulder weapons, raise a cry
And march, together, to the fight.
Past ashen walls and off to die.

Their footsteps ring like hammerfalls.
They look as proud as any knight.
For innocents, they join the brawl;
For those who never stray'd from right
But find themselves at war this night.
They give the heroes reasons why.
For now they clear a path for flight
Past ashen walls and off to die.

Ahead they hear the caterwaul
Of Sueish voices dripping spite.
The enemies of one and all
Come ever nearer; in to sight.
The agents call out to invite
Their foes; and curses they let fly.
The sparkling hordes charge with delight,
Past ashen walls and off to die.

The agents stand against the blight
Each knowing that the end is nigh
They throw themselves against the night
Past ashen walls and off to die.


-Phobos

It was cool to see how some of the more odd and specialised Departments operate. My favourite bit of 'Ephemerals' is the Wallflower not realising what it was letting itself in for. (That WMD piece seemed really familiar, has it appeared elsewhere before?).

Oh, and I meant to mention this last time, but forgot - I like the artwork you've done for The Ispace Wars. A few of those symbols look like stuff I definitely didn't see on the board about a year ago :)

There should be a scene break where the story transitions into the Cafeteria (i.e., somewhere around the line "But you still know people, right?") As it is, I do not know which scene the aforementioned line falls into, and also, I only figure out that the scene has changed from the RC t the Cafeteria when the next paragraph tells me that I'm in the cafteria—as it was, I was left wondering where "Estelnar" came in.

I had seen the Wrecked Music Department piece before. I'm not really a fan of the concept, since it doesn't seem like the PPC ever would have bothered doing something like this. (Also, this one mission we see seems more like Plagiarism's purview.)

I like that the DCH finally gets some screen time, and that you used the opportunity to show how Mylissa went insane, as mentioned in her one other appearance. Still, it's a little hard to imagine how a mission would go for any duck other than Mylissa, since they all seem to reinforce the same type of humor they would ostensibly be fighting against.

The DRS, I actually really like conceptually, because it would be an opportunity to do . . . shall we say, "toned down" romance fics, without all the icky stuff? I might try looking for a mission that would work in this style for my floaters. I am curious to know why this department had a flower as an agent; it would be the only Flower still going on active duty in the worlds after the Organisation expanded, yeah?

Godplayers is the one department I feel probably could have remained as its own department, but there's not much we can do about so few people having written in it. I'm glad it lived on as a division.

Willful Ignorance is my favorite of the ones presented by you here. (It is "willful," right? Or is "wilful" an accepted spelling in English English?) I love the technology you made here, and if you don't object, I would love to give it a spin with my floaters someday. There's a huge amount of potential, both to let the first person'd agent show off what they know about canon, and almost "write" things back to the way they should be in their mind, but also have the tech go haywire and create further complications.

All in all, some excellent and imaginative ideas here!

Both high school and colleges start summer vacation around the end of May, so the month leading up to it is study time. I'm lucky enough that I don't have much problem memorizing things, so I only have to worry about my math final.

Also, I really liked the short about the shut-down departments. I don't know why, but I found the image of the Floating Hyacinth bobbing in the Fountain of Bleepka absolutely hysterical. I'd love to offer concrit, but I can't think of anything you need to improve on. ;)

Either one makes teachers realize that they need to have a whole lot more paperwork filed then they have currently, so assign students all of the homework and give quizzes to prepare for the big test at the end.

Speaking of appearances on the Board: I'm not going to have many soon. I know that recently I've just about fallen off of the face of the Board, but something is coming up. Starting May 10th, I will be working at Denali National Park as an interpretive naturalist. Or, in simple terms, I'm going to be a tour guide at Denali. They are providing housing for me (at the Denali Princess Lodge! For only $15 a day!) and they do actually expect my off time to be spent preparing for presentations or being outdoors doing outdoorsy... things. Which means, not so much time online checking posts and writing PPC stories. If I have opportunity, I will try and take a look every now and then, but on the whole, I have to leave the community for a while.

This means that I have three things for the PPC that I want to try and get out before I go: the review for Rambling Band, the next part of that crossover I'm working on, and those Alaska questions I was asked forever ago and never answered. I'll post the answers on the Board, and give opportunity for others to ask more if they want before I go. And hey, if you have any Alaska questions at any point, feel free to leave them on my Wiki page. I'll be sure to get to them as soon as I can.

Now, I'm not leaving immediately, I do have until the 10th, but I suppose, for now, this is goodbye.

This is finals week for students at my university. We don't all have them the same week, but this is about when they happen.

Besides the suggestions hS has already made, I suppose she could potentially be vas [number on her RC]. It's a bit awkward, but it would make sense, if we choose to interpret Headquarters as her new fleet and all the RCs as individual ships.
As for whether or not she has to change her name, I'm afraid I have no suggestions. I can't remember anything about Quarians who have chosen to leave the Fleet permanently, so I don't know what they would be called. I guess that makes it a personal decision for you/her, which could reflect how she feels about her old home and her new life.
Also, I don't know if you already know what her old ship was, but if not, have you considered having her come from the ship Qwib Qwib? It would make for a wonderful injoke.

The best guide for the 'vas [What]' question would seem to be Tali'Zorah. The Mass Effect wiki suggests that her name changes from vas Neema to vas Normandy, which suggests that there are circumstances in which she'd change her 'surname'. I don't know the canon, but I'd suspect that a permanent change would induce a name change. Whether it would be to vas PPC, vas Protectors, vas Headquarters (possibly my favourite), or vas [Department name], would probably be up to her - since I doubt she'd be telling the, uh, Flotilla(?) about her new job.

As for given and clan names... I don't see any clear distinction between how the two are formed (for instance, 'Feda' is a given name, 'Nara' a clan, and similarly 'Zaal' is a given, 'Raan' a clan). Based on the names in 'Notable Quarians', we can deduce the following:

-Names start with a consonant, not a vowel - though this doesn't extend to ships.
-As you say, they don't go beyond a couple of syllables, and tend towards a CVCV(C) format - though the Consonants may be clusters, the Vowels may be doubled, or clustered, and there are a scattering of CVC - and even one CV - names.
-'Ys' is a consonantal sound (since it's used at the start of a name).
-'-ah' is a distinct terminal sound to '-a'.
-The letter C is not used, and I don't see W either. The most common consonant seems to be K.
-U is not used, and O and I are fairly uncommon.
-A and E are common, and can both appear as double letters, and as the cluster AE.
-Known consonant clusters are YS, SH, ZH, BR, and KH. MM, NN, RR, and DD also appear.
-At least one character (Keenah'Breizh) has a very... well, lazy name. The first half is one letter away from the invocation 'keelah', while the second half is the Breton name for Brittany. Actually, I take back 'lazy' - given the existence of a ship named Normandy, I think there's a Northern France theme here. (Which immediately suggests the clan name 'Kernow' - Cornwall - to me)

I dunno. Anything useful there?

hS

"Recurring antagonists" could mean any number of things. Is it a few Suvians who they failed to kill in one mission, who then keep following them around and causing trouble whenever the Agents enter their continuum? Is it a trans-dimensional organization that your agents offended for some reason, and keeps intruding during missions to try and capture the Agents? Is it a single force that generally dislikes this one group of two or three people for whatever reason, and invades their missions to deliberately and spitefully cause problems?
None of those three are particularly great ideas for something that shows up all the time in a mission, because it's going to eclipse the rest of the badfic if it happens too many times, and even if it doesn't, it would be an interference. Most antagonists in a PPC story tend to either be from within an individual badfic, in which case it's self-contained within the mission, from a series of stories that a Sue appears in or a single badfic writer who makes many similar fics, which is similar to the previous option but there are recurring elements that may play a role during the mission, or from an out-of-fic threat like the Black Cats or Slorp. That's because in all of those cases, the presence of an enemy either enhances the mission in which it's encountered or does not intersect with any recorded mission and operates on its own.

Of course, that doesn't mean that it's impossible for a recurring threat to be done well in this context. It's just that the PPC format doesn't really fit well with the concept of an archenemy. It is fully possible for something to be structured in a way that can take advantage of the nature of the PPC and still act as a recurring opponent, it's just not something that's been done yet. So, it will take at least a few more details before we can see if your idea would work. What did you have in mind?

OI! OVER HERE! Welcome a'Board, and welcome to the PPC! One, for your n00b gift, have one coupon for a free custom gunblade of your choice, smithed by yours truly. Also, I'm thinking of buying Fire Emblem: Awakening. Should I? Pokemon... What's your starter? Metroid, been meaning to pick one up. Zelda? HELL YES. Ace Attorney, memes abound, and that's about it. Etrian Odyssey... never heard of it. Doctor Who? EXTERMINATE! Torchwood, heard of it, and that's all. Harry Potter. Hello fellow Potterhead! A Song of Ice and Fire, been meaning to read it, too busy. Last ones I have also never heard of. Nearly done here, but do you have ANY IDEA how much text 16 Kilobytes holds?! Easily any of the posts. You weren't anywhere near. Last but not least, watch out for the tea leaves.

Is there any sign of the Wii U Zelda game yet? What is Fire Emblem anyways?

But, who cares. Welcome! Have a fluffy vilociraptor! Have a lovely time here in the PPC!

Seafarer, welcome to the PPC! It appears that you're already familiar with the Wiki, and hS already told you about getting Permission, so that leaves me with two questions:
1) Have you read the Constitution and the Original Series?
2) How did you first run across the PPC?

*rummages through Pokémon-Trainer-issue bag of holding*
newbie gift, newbie gift...
*continues rummaging*
Man, for something so small, it sure cam hold a lot of stuff...
*pulls out Poke Ball*
Here you go; have a Ditto! Perfect for a multi-fandom Boarder such as yourself!

By the way, are you only a fan of the books, our do you also watch Game of Thrones? My brother got me hooked on the series, but unfortunately, I do not have HBO at home.

Hi! Welcome to the PPC.

Oh, I like Harry Potter as well.

My Immortal?! Yeah! My Immortal is an example of so bad it's good, and I like that about it. Very, very bad story, but very enjoyable to criticize and stuff. It gives you a sense of superiority, even though you really ought not compare yourself with those who are not as good as you are.

I knew someone from New Zealand back in my Fanfiction.net days. The story "The Gratest Pokemon Master" wouldn't mean anything to you, would it? Because that was a fic he wrote as satire.

Welcome a'Board, matey. I give you a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and a replica of the Wave Guitar from Majora's Mask. (We share lots of fandoms! Tell me more about Etrian Odyssey, it sounds cool)

You taste delicious. Next time, though, bring mustard. ;)

Welc

I bring you... answers to questions!

-Alas, Trojie left a long time ago.
-The character limit, as someone else said, is absolutely massive. I once posted this entire story in a single post - so nope, you weren't anywhere near it. ;)
-Permission... ah, Permission.

You're right, Jay and Acacia were a lot more lenient about it. But when Rome fell, like a writhen oak Jay left the Board, she appointed Miss Cam, GreyLadyBast, and Thalia Weaver as Official Permission Givers (all right, Cam technically already had it). From that point on, Permission has been a requirement, not just a suggestion. The way we give it has evolved: I got Permission by basically saying 'I've got a great idea!' and having Cam & Bast approve.

The thing is, Back In The Day(TM) the PPC was just a bunch of stories with a vague theme. Architeuthis could write about the Security Dandelions who patrol the walls of HQ without anyone worrying, because no-one else had gone anywhere near that part of HQ.

Since then - and largely (he said modestly) as a result of my work - we've turned the PPC into a true shared universe. You can't (say) decide to found a Department of Multiple Offences, like Nenya and Rosie did - because that job is already filled by the Floaters. The only ways to maintain a working shared universe with so many writers are either to vet each new story regarding canonicity... or to require Permission to write for the PPC at all.

With that said, getting Permission isn't all that hard. Once the revision goes through, the process will be as follows:

-Stick around until we know who you are. That's not hard, and if you want anyone to know your story exists, you'd kind of have to do it anyway.
-Read enough that you know what the PPC is, how it works, etc. It's kind of common sense to do this for something you want to write about, right? The 'Permission Self-Check' or whatever I called it is just that - an optional check for you to see for yourself how much you know. It doesn't even take your name.
-Come up with some agent characters. You'd have to do that anyway, since without characters you can't, y'know, write anything. (Though I'd be intrigued to see someone ask Permission in order to write solely about Free-to-Use characters...)
-Write a couple of short - 200-300 words - stories with your agents. Since you want to write PPC stories, saying you have to write some PPC stories before you can do so - apart from being oxymoronic - isn't terribly strenuous.
-Post the stories & a summary of your agents and ask for Permission. That takes... about a minute?
-Wait for one of the hard-working Permission Givers to put in the time to read your stories and form an opinion.

That's a lot of words, but it's honestly not a big deal. It comes down to 'stick around, get to know us, and show us you can write'. The basic goal is to stop you spending weeks on your first mission, and then having someone point out that your agent is a Mary-Sue. Because no-one wants that.

Lots of words? Lots of words. Permission isn't hard if you know what a decent character is and know how to spell-and-punctuate. +++End of message.+++

hS

Hello and welcome!

You don't need to have Permission to hang around here; I joined a year ago and I haven't even started drafting my request. I'm too lazy. Also, I'm pretty sure the character limit is very large indeed. There've been entire stories posted on here.

Anyways, I give to you a lined Infinite Notebook for your newbie gift. It features urple covers and wilver bindings. Don't look at it straight on!

-Aila

Hi! I'm kinda new here too! Welcome, and I hope you like it here. As a welcoming gift, have some chocolate (in case of dementors, needing bribe material, or the munchies).

Also have some homemade apple pie. I hope you like pie.

A new process, huh? Great! I'll give this a look and give some comments on suggestions for prompts.

This new version makes it a lot less stressful for Permission-requesters. I can remember rewriting my request at least twenty or so times because I wanted it to be perfect and didn't have much to go off of aside from other people's requests.

The example agent bios are especially helpful, since those are what I mostly kept scrapping due to me being either too descriptive or too vague.

The 'bonus points' thing seems a little iffy, since people might choose those specific prompts so they can name-drop and seem more knowledgable, but I understand the purpose of making sure the person knows PPC canon. I think that as long as they don't shoehorn names in and demonstrate in their request that they know what they're talking about, they'll be good.

(Was the "we'll complain that it's not quite the write sort of story" a typo or a pun?)

Would it be wrong to suggest a PPC Bingo to see how many of these prompts can be worked in--in a natural way!--to normal missions and Interludes. I seriously had a mental image of a Bingo stamper, "Seen this, seen this, seen this, done this one myself, seen this" while I was reading over them.

I'm looking forward to getting Permission sometime in the future. And, speaking of Permission, how long should you usually post and interact before asking Permission? I know it's on the Wikia, but I just wanted some other people's perspectives. :)
I'll help -- hopefully. I will if I can.

Seriously, I've been trying to put together something for Permission for a little while now, and the examples for Agent bios really help explain exactly what you want to see, as well as some decent formatting for it.

I had a quick look and I really don't like it.

It seems most of those prompts are about the boring, non-mission bits of a story that no-one ever bothers to read because we all just skip past them to get to the good part where you poke fun at the badfic and kill the Sues responsible for it.

Maybe it'd be if the prompts gave us examples of badfic writing and we had to show how we'd mock them and how our agents would react to it. Otherwise what's the point? No-one, not even Jay and Acacia themselves, ever managed to make the non-mission parts of a PPC story interesting, so how are we expected to do it?

(Having said that, at least Dark Brother 16 deserves credit for trying to think of ways that the HQ stuff can at least be made relevant to the mission, with his bureaucratic antagonist idea. It's just a shame the killjoys are all trying to stop him, rather than suggest ways his idea could be made to work.)

(BTW you seem to be one of the worst offenders for wasting readers' time with pointless HQ stuff. Some of your stories don't even have any mission in them at all! Until you can fix that problem with your own stories, I don't see what gives you the right to judge others!)

Anyway, other problems with the permission procedure are that we have to think up out own agents. Yes, I know this is something inherited from the old system, but it still needs to be fixed. If I should ever see a badfic so bad that I personally want to be the one to kill it, then I won't want to waste my time having to create new characters before applying for permission to do it. I'd just want to grab a couple of off-the-shelf, free-to-use agents and send them after her as quickly as possible.

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT TODAY WAS CELEBRATING ARE YOU PROUD OF ME? (Iximaz was trying to get me to figure it out in class today, hahaha.)

Favorite character: Tough choice. I'm gonna have to say Dumbledore or Lupin.
House: Ravenclaw! (I also like Hufflepuff.)
Bloodline: Half-blood, I believe.
Favorite moment: (BUT THERE'S SO MANY) Umm I'm gonna say when Harry caught his first Golden Snitch and nearly swallowed it.
Favorite villain: Bellatrix 100%
Favorite Weasley: RONALD :D

Favorite character: Hermione
House: Ravenclaw (I took the test)
Bloodline: Muggle-born
Favorite moment: The whole series
Favorite book: DH
Favorite Villain: Umbridge
Favorite Weasley: Fred and George

One Harry Potter fan who's even been to the shop in Kings Cross station (I passed though there quite often last year). I would advise not trying to run between platforms nine and ten especially seeing as there isn't a wall there, or anything at all besides a safety barrier for that fact. The brick wall from the film is in fact between platforms four and five.

Favorite Character: Sirius Black
House: Hufflepuff, although I could probably fit anywhere bar Gryffindor.
bloodline: Halfblood
Favorite moment: Fred and George's escape in OOTP, in fact the majority of the OOTP especially at Grimmauld Place.
Book: OOTP (duh) followed by GoF
Villain: Umbridge, closely followed by Tom Riddle from CoS
Weasley: Fred/George

My favorite character? Hmm... I say Snape, because he is pretty complex. (The movies do nobody justice.)

I personally think I would have done well in Slytherin. Why? Because I have more of their personality traits than I have anyone else, I think.

I'm a Muggle Born. Because they are awesome.

My favorite moment... is when Harry and Dumbledore fight off the Inferi while they are going for the fake locket in that cave.

My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Why? Well, it establishes some finality to almost everything. You see people you came to root for get offed in heroic ways (Fred and Dobby). Also, it gets me thinking about what the Weasley and Potter kids get up to at Hogwarts.

My favorite villain is Antonin Dolohov. Why? Well, because every time he appears, he is being used as a hitman. And he is good at his hob. He led the attack on the Prewitt brothers, he beat Mad Eye Moody in a fight, he almost killed Hermione, the book never says that he tries to run from Dumbledore when he shows up, he attacks Harry, Ron and Hermione again- He's just crazy!

It's a toss up between Percy and George for me. Percy is the classic example of both the annoying, snobby older brother who thinks he knows better than his parents. I grew to really hate him, which made his eventual redemption (and his cracking a joke) all that much more satisfying. George, on the other hand, is different. He is Fred's younger twin, and I can personally identify with that, because I am a younger twin. He has to live up to his brother, who as far as I can tell, is the one who concocts all the master plans. He just seems like the one who hangs on the coat tails, and that to me makes him more realistic and likeable.

Ooo, jellybeans! *takes a handful, munches* Mmmm, peppermint! I like Hermione. She's smart, she's gutsy, and she has the greatest reactions to the crazy shenanigans around her. XD

I claim Ravenclaw, but knowing my social awkwardness I'd probably end up in Hufflepuff. (There's a difference.)

I've never thought about the bloodline thing before, so I'll jump straight to my favorite moments: Dumbledore telling off Fudge at the end of Goblet of Fire (shame it didn't change Fudge's status as "blowhard supreme") and Fred and George's great escape in Order of the Phoenix ("Accio Brooms!"). Those two are spectacular; probably my second-favorite characters after the Trio.

Favorite villain...well, I'm currently re-reading Order of the Phoenix, so I'd have to say Umbridge. What a massive cow/toad. (Snape's pretty good, too, but he's on our side so I don't know if he counts as a villain.)

Wow, we have a lot in common! I like all of the same stuff you do! Welcome to the board, feel free to... do whatever sentient chairs do. Also, while I'm not sure it'll be much use, have a coupon for one FREE, CUSTOM Gunblade, forged by yours truly!

Welcome to the PPC! We're not dead! (I feel like dancing! Kudos to you if you got that reference. And that one. Heh.)

A fellow Legend of Zelda fan! A fellow Fullmetal Alchemist fan! Woohoo! There are no evil government conspiracies here, just so you know. You can step away from the Alchemy circle, okay?

As a Welcome-To-The-Board gift, I should like to give you a Fluffy Velociraptor. His name is Jorge. (No biting, Jorge. Remember what happened last time?) I hope you two get along fine.

Welcome to the PPC, ah… Chair. (I'll have to get used to that one. Chair. Huh.)

Hello there! Please take this X-men uniform, and a Nightcrawler plushiee.

Hello and welcome!

I give to you a lined Infinite Notebook, complete with urple covers and wilver binding. Don't look at it straight on.

-Aila

Here is your gift… an amazing Elf-Bow! :D I love LotR too!

That's quite an ... interesting username you got there. Care to share what made you think of it?

As for your newbie gift, have your choice of Starter Pokemon!

Hello, fellow Nintendo fan! Have an Ice Rod! Wait, LoZ does stand for Legend of Zelda, right? If not, I'm sure I can find something else to provide a more fitting welcome present.

New stories don't come out all that frequently, actually. I don't know the exact numbers, but I'd estimate the average to be... once a month someone publishes new ones, when considering missions, interludes, and miscellanea all at once? That's probably wrong. Heck, this past month it happened twice from one person, who made four stories in total, so that alone is probably throwing the numbers off.

Take this X-men jacket and Nightcrawler plushie

Hi, have some fudge!

I've got a mission in beta right now, but things have been going slow. My work location moved down the strip mall, and it's harder to pick up a wifi signal, so I have to go to a coffee shop if I want to update anything on my Google Drive account. (I've dropped a couple hints to family about my upcoming birthday and a wifi antenna, but it's too early for any results.)

Hello, and welcome to the PPC!

I like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter as well. I'm a bigger fan of Harry Potter than I am of Lord of the Rings, though. It's been a while since I have done any Lord of the Rings stuff.

Well, I'm new here too, so I can't write missions yet, but I would think that it all depends on the writer how long it takes, because once you get permission, you do not have to go through the process every time you make a new one. Or that's my impression. I'm very much sure that I am right, though.

Oh my gosh I share all of your fandoms that is AWESOME! *glomp* Your newbie gift is a Flying Rooster plush (from Link's Awakening)! If you hold it over your head, you might be able to hover a few inches off the ground.

Welcome, Mr. Chair? What are you made of?
Anyway, you should read the Constitution. It's important.
As to missions, I know that it takes usually takes me between two to three months in average to write one. RL, as Iximaz noted, is quite adapt at sapping my energy (hello there, army), and even when it doesn't I don't necessarily have the inspiration.
Last but not least, have a cup of Lapsang Souchoung tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you or your dog.

Welcome. I won't say pull up a chair and sit down, because you'd probably just end up sitting on yourself. Anyway, have a set of sparkly urple cushions made of tanned Sue-skin leather.

Always nice to see the Army of Potterheads growing. ;) And another Pokemaniac! I have a plush Bulbasaur- you can hold him, but he's mine.

Some people can fire out missions like PEZ dispensers release candy, but most of us take a while to write. Real life can be a drag.

If that's the case, it wouldn't work unless you put your e-mail address in, but I'm not going to pretend that's anything other than unfounded speculation.

While I'm wildly speculating, it might also be updates for the yourwebapps service that the people checking the box are being told about, or possible changes to an individual Board, or early warnings that the Internet is under attack by a malevolent force. Google seems oddly tight-dataed on the matter, which may mean that either the yourwebapps daily update function is rarely used, or unimportant... or sinister.

I managed to grab a comic about a steampunk version of Star Wars (with the brilliantly original name Steam Wars), and a quick start kit for heroclix.

I'd love to go get some, but... well, I live just a few minutes north of Louisville, Kentucky, and today's the first Saturday in May. In other words, all the stores around here are closed for Derby Day.

It sounds amazing, though!

Were you looking for badfic that involved dragons, possibly from the How to Train Your Dragon fandom? I ran across one the other day, that I'll be honest and say I didn't read, because the summary was so bad. But it definitely involved dragons. I won't post a link unless someone says they want it, as it was rated NC-17, I think. Maybe just M. I'm not sure if that is the sort of fic you'd even be interested in at all. I just saw 'Gah! gouge my eyes out with a spork and pour in brain bleach!' summary and thought you might be looking for dragon based fics to kill.

In the badfic, I was fairly sure it's character possession, but it's looking more like all out replacement. The only thing is, I'm not entirely certain. Is it just a judgement call?

I'm about halfway through the mission, but I need to know in case I need to go back and have Rina and Randa rescue the canon Harry.

On a related note, I found a real stinker of a pony fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10254146/1/Butterfly-rose-thr-pony-profecy

...I hope to all the Princesses (and Discord) she's trolling us, because if she's not, that's just pathetic. SPaG from the depths of hell, main character blatantly usurping Twilight's place, ranty author's note begging for reviews, probably more offenses I didn't have the heart to uncover.

Someday fanfic websites will gain "quality control" to remove garbage like this or prevent it from being approved in the first place. Hopefully. Right after we start investing in clean energy.

SPaG is good enough, except for some unnecessary caps and flying commas, but a kitsune? Just AAAAAUGH. Please, somebody, PPC this.

Haven't read any further than the second chapter (I lost it when Harry got the Marauders-communication thing). What are the so-called "Magic Marriage Bonds" supposed to do? I'm cringing in advance.

...one of my fellow snarkers at the Library of the Damned found one heck of a turd involving HP. The fun part?

It's a crossover with the Alien/Predator universe.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7601976/1/The-Animagus-Predator

The sins of this one? Harry inherits nearly three fourths of Hogwarts, gets more wealth than all of friggin' Wall Street just from inheritance money, becomes a wannabe Predator, and then regurgitates Aliens Vs. Predator because reasons.

Oh, and there's enough costume porn to make Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way blush.

Actually, no, please let Rina kill this. I need some tylenol or something. (Just kidding about the Rina thing. You found it, so you get dibs.)

I weep for the future of humanity.

I tried. But honestly, I think this needs to be PPCed. 2 Animagus forms, and both magical creatures? Uh, no. Magic Marriage Bonds? Uh, no. Harry x Tonks? Uh, what about Lupin? I don't exactly care about slashes… usually… but….

From behind enemy lines I bring you a badfic dump starting with LoTR.

http://www.quotev.com/story/4626105/Heart-Of-Fire/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4522135/To-kiss-or-to-Kill-That-is-the-Question/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4726368/Winter/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4653027/The-10th-Member/
http://www.quotev.com/story/3021641/The-Angel-Kili-Love-Story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4341687/The-Wandering-Blue-Wizard/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4548414/Arrow-Through-the-Heart-Legolas-Love-Story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4262848/Better-Than-A-Dream-LOTR-Legolas-Love-Story/

Most of these I have only read the summary.

The Emperor Protects!

All the markings of the failed fantasy fulfillment are here. And the M-Rating, maybe it is because of something that will come up in later chapters.

Are you planning on doing a mission for this?

Rina stepped between Yakov and the disgruntled underwear, holding her hands out. "Okay. Okay, we have a pair of talking, floating underpants. It's not like we've seen weirder here, right? He- she- xe? doesn't seem dangerous."

The underwear rustled impatiently. "I do have a name, you know."

((Is the underwear boxers or briefs or panties?))

((Clarifying a few things. Thing One, I'm very new. Please let me know if I mess something up.

Thing Two, although hopefully you'll pick this info up from the posts, Stephanie is a former Sue who ended up being pulled from her story into my mind when I lost interest in the former; eventually, she started to evolve into a more balanced character. She travels through time and space supposedly randomly (she typically ends up somewhere/when convenient for the plot, but absolutely cannot control it) if she says something on the hour to within 1 second. I do not have permission, but will probably request it in June, and am likely to attempt to use her.))

Thump.
Stephanie, who had been rereading the Harry Potter series to ensure that she would be familiar with the canon, scooted a little closer to her desk. She didn't even have a mini- so what could have made that noise? As she considered copying her author and scooting underneath, she caught a glimpse of her watch. Twenty seconds past ten o'clock. It should have beeped on the hour; the fact that that hadn't occurred more likely than not meant that a Narrative Law had been invoked. Comedy, Irony, and... Something that didn't come up a lot. Irony probably would have been the console beeping, as she hadn't acted in such a manner as to tempt the Ironic Overpower... Or so she thought, anyway. Comedy... Who knew? Maybe the thump was perfectly innocuous, and her reaction was supposed to be funny. Heartened by the thought, the girl swiveled around before she lost her nerve-

And almost screamed as she came face to face with a girl whom she thought that she'd left behind years before. The girl's hair was blonde to Stephanie's dyed black-brown, her eyes were such an intense, deep shade of the color blue that it almost became a Hoovaloo while (due to Logicillin) Stephanie's were graying, her figure was that of a Barbie to Stephanie's boyish frame, her skin shimmered peach to Stephanie's unhealthy pallor,, and she wore an elaborate dress of wilver and urple.

"I am Stephaniella Annibell Rosa Nuitcommevelour. Join me?"

Stephanie could almost feel her GL rising due to being in the same room with her counterpart- but then her gaze fell on the Harry Potter book, and suddenly she remembered- she was going to be a part of something bigger, going to rescue characters from bad chacterization...

"no. NO."

"I can control it, you know." Stephaniella leaned in. "I can rescue our parents."

"They'd never be the same. They were just bits. I don't mean- I love them. But it wouldn't be them."

"I could make you think that they were. We could be happy, Stephanie. Twins. Pick a name. I can force our author to write our story..."

Stephanie was in tears by this point- not of the Single variety, but sobbing that reddened her eyes and made her feel sick. She swung at her counterpart, who flicked out for a second and then reappeared in the same spot as before.

"You just don't understand, do you? I've discussed it with her. She more or less offered. THEY WOULDN'T BE THE SAME PEOPLE!!!11!1!" She willed the punctuation downpour, should one form, to hit her counterpart. "You are disrespecting their memory. STOP!"

Barely caring- it wasn't as though her counterpart would be stopped by a locked door anyway, if her powers could be used anytime- Stephanie rushed out of RC 593, grabbing her RA on the off chance that it could have proved useful to the Sue, and- steeling herself, a bit afraid to be so loud after so long barely speaking- yelled, "HELP! SUE!"

Where had she seen that woman before?

That was the first thought that went through Hild's mind. Not why had that woman suddenly appeared out of thin air in her RC?

As soon as the strange woman had appeared, Hild leapt out of her chair and looked at her. She was in her early twenties, with bright golden-blonde hair in a long ponytail that snaked down to her waist. The woman's eyes were a mysterious blue-grey with tiny sapphire and silver sparkles in them ("How am I noticing those without getting right up close?" wondered Hild?) set in a flawless face with tanned yet somehow pale skin.

"Who are you?" asked Hild, drawing her dagger from its scabbard on her belt. "And what are you doing here?"

"I'm Princess Éohild, the leader of the Dunlendings and exiled true heir to the throne of Rohan, of course." The words tumbled almost musically from her cherry-red lips. "And you shall never take my placee, imposter!"

So saying, the princess reached behind her back and pulled out a large, ornate sliver bow, covered in jewels. As she reached again for an arrow, Hild leapt, her dagger cutting deep into Éohild's side.

Pushing past the wounded princess, Hild ran for the door. Don't try to kill her just yet, she thought, running out into the corridor. We might need to question her, find out what she's doing here. She pulled the door closed behind her, and ran off to look for Sean who had more experience of this sort of thing.

...and almost empty. Taking up the left side of the long room was a shooting range and on the other wall was a filthy kitchen. Shoved into the corners were a couple of beds, one of them occupied by Agent 99Hedgehog, Department of Floaters.

His other 2 partners, Mon'tyr and Eredan, were in the cafeteria looking for some food to stock the fridge with. 99 had taken the opportunity without the sound of pulse-rifle fire and the sharpening of arrowheads to get some much-needed sleep.

Until he was awoken by the sound of a portal opening.

99 jumped to his feet, grabbing his pants and shirt off the floor and pulling them on uncharacteristically fast as reached for his sword which he sort of knew how to use.

Readying himself for whatever came through the portal, he found himself wishing his partners were present...

Silver gritted her teeth as she strummed the last note, her fingers raw from the hard strings of the ukulele. She had picked up the talent in Hawaii, and was truly working hard at it. However, it couldn't be said that she was very good. She moved her fingers late.
She shook her ash blonde hair back and stretched her fingers, then started picking at the strings, letting her sore index finger rest. Her favorite song was a picking song, so she played it, humming along to the tune.
When it finished -- on a rolling Am, contrary to her original desire to preserve the skin of her index finger -- it seemed she was hearing echoes. It sounded as though the Am note was still going on… but she had stopped.
She couldn't be going crazy, not at this age. Silver pressed her fingers to her temples.
She sat their for a few more seconds, then hastily jumped up and walked over to her door, poking her head inside her living room.
What she saw there made her jump back far enough to touch the other wall.
A beautiful blonde woman with the prettiest, brightest grayish-blue eyes stared back at her.
They were the same… but they were different. Silver's hair was darker, and her eyes deeper gray, with slate-gray around the edges. Not that bright, not that large and doe-y.
"Who are you?"
Silver looked at the Sue, fury dancing up inside her like flames. "May I ask exactly what you are doing in my response center?"
The Sue smiled demurely.
Silver's mouth twitched.
The monitor beeped.
And Silver swung her fist, connecting the flat of her palm to the Sue's face.
Silver sprinted for the door.

Rina was unused to the silence, but with Randa off exploring Headquarters and Mcgonagoll being suspiciously silent in his web nest thing, she allowed herself to lounge on her bed, a well-thumbed copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in her hands, looking forward to a good long time to read.

She'd barely turned to the first page, though, when a smell similar to boiled cabbage met her nostrils, quickly followed by a loud shriek. Rina sighed and got up to investigate.

She slid the door of the RC open and found herself face-to-face with... herself?

The other Rina flipped her waist-length, shiny chocolate brown hair and looked questioningly at Rina with large emerald green eyes that shone with artificial intelligence.

"Like, hi! Can you tell me where I am?" The other Rina's voice was high and breathy.

Not even pausing to think, Rina punched her Sue doppleganger in the face and ducked around her into the corridor for more room to maneuver. That was when the boiled cabbage smell grew stronger.

I think I'm going to introduce my (hopefully) agent in this RP… Might as well, eh?
Agent Silver is her name.

I hate finals week. (At least I only have one.)

I need to find some way to access a Star Wars movie! This is something I NEED!

...would tomorrow be the Revenge of the Fifth?

Seventeen years ago, a nerdy guy and his right around nine months pregnant wife sat down to watch The Empire Strikes Back. At the point where they're wrapping up the Hoth story arc, the wife has become incredibly bored. So bored, in fact, that her body decides it would rather go into labor than continue watching. So it does. The wife is in the hosptal until eleven o'clock, when she finally gives birth, an hour before May 5th. So, that's how my mother went into labor to get out of watching Star Wars, then gave birth to me on May the Fourth. That's not even the best part. My Dad paused the movie for her so they could finish when they got home.

...I'm saving up for Cinco de Mayo. Seriously, I've got so much going on in my life right now that I'll need more than a few excuses to drink some big margaritas...

But tomorrow, my brother is going to make a big bowl of popcorn, grab a soda, and marathon all six of the episodes.

I would be doing the same, but my AP Environmental Science teacher gave us a list of thirty topics that will likely be on our test on Monday, and we have to find ten facts about each topic.

It doesn't seem hard, but it's tedious, and I've been working for almost ten and a half hours on it and I'm only half finished. I get to do the other half tomorrow since this thing is due Monday (yeah, the same day we're having our AP test, which is lovely).

But still, May the Fourth be with you! Have you seen the most recent Big Bang Theory episode, by any chance? It's all about Star Wars Day, 'twas great.

And yeah, it's not really laid out anywhere on the wiki, is it? I might go fix that later today. Most of us know this from reading a bunch of spin-offs, though. I recommend doing that.

Anyway: In modern times, people tend to wind up as agents in one of two ways:

1. They were recruited from a badfic. This generally entails the assigned agents giving them a choice about it, but when the choice is A) join us, B) become a background nobody, or C) possibly cease to exist, most people are gonna choose A. Especially since a lot of them get to witness why the bad writing is so bad up close and personal, which tends to motivate them to help fix it.

2. They wandered or fell into HQ through a plothole (or similar vehicle) from their universe of origin. Why they decide to stay is up to them, but it seems that plotholes attract people who love fiction, hate bad writing, and are intrigued by the idea of adventures to their favorite worlds. It seems likely to me that other types fall through, too, but we don't hear about the ones who decide HQ is too freaky for them and get someone to send them home and (I'm guessing) wipe their memory.

In the past, people joined by actually hearing about the PPC and applying for a job. Techno-Dann and Architeuthis both did this. It's rare to see this now, but still a perfectly valid option. Dann had an interview with his Head of Department after visiting Personnel, too. This might be unique to DoSAT, or (and this is what I think) it might be common to any of the departments that require a certain level of practical skills/technical expertise/strength of character. Medical springs to mind first and foremost. FicPsych, the DIA, and Finance, too.

A vanishingly rare few have discovered HQ by finding one of the Doors, such as the one in New Caledonia. You have to get past an SEP field and the DES to pull that one off, though.

Once they've (presumably) gotten someone to explain what's going on and decided to stay in HQ, as Hieronymus Graubart (did I finally spell it right this time?) mentioned, they're sent to the Marquis de Sod to fill out paperwork and receive an official assignment. Sometimes they're given training, sometimes they're immediately sent to their new partner.

Badfic recruits sometimes do a stint in FicPsych before being sent to Personnel. It just depends on how boggled they are by their badfic and/or the transition from their previous life to HQ. There may be a bit of an existential crisis involved with finding out they were controlled to some degree by some kid with a keyboard. Also, they may lack certain life skills due to the poor start they were given by the badfic author. Note: This is not to suggest that badfic recruits experience a lot of ANGST and DRAMA. As with everything else in the PPC, the tone should generally be kept light.

~Neshomeh

It really does depend on how the agent in question found their way to the PPC. Rina, for example, fell through a plot hole and asked to join after she learned about the PPC. She wanted the DMS, specifically, and since they're always in need of more agents, it wasn't a problem.

As for badfic-rescued characters, they'd probably end up working in whatever department deals with the kind of badfic they came from (someone from a Suefic would join the DMS, someone from a bad slashfic would join the DBS, etc.)

In regards to tests... there isn't really one. If you survive your fist mission, you're good to go.

At least, that's what I've seen so far. Of course, Agent Techno-Dann was a part of the civilian reporting force and was recruited via letter. Just go with whatever seems to best fit.

The Original Series and many spin-offs skip this and tell about agents who have already been in the PPC for some time, or begin with new agents trying to find their assigned RC, meeting their partner or getting the first mission.

But if you don’t want to skip it, there should probably be an "interview" with the Marquis the Sod, who needs to assign the Agents to a Department before they even know who their Department Head would be. Also, when bit characters are recruited in missions, there is often talk about taking or sending them to the Marquis or to the Department of Personnel in general, so this seems to be the point to start. I put the "interview" into quotation marks, because I’m not sure whether the Marquis would ask many questions or just send them to a Department that needs some more agents. He should consider their qualifications, but he doesn’t seem to enjoy the presence of agents, so he may just want to get rid of them as fast as possible. As so often, the advice is to do what is most funny.

HG

Hello, and greetings from a fellow lurker! As your n00b gift, I present to you one coupon for a custom gunblade of your choice, smithed by yours truly! Also... Percy Jackson?! Hooray!

...Watch out for the tea, eh?

Hi! Welcome to the Board.

So you have a preferred fandom? That's good. I don't have one as of yet, but maybe it would be best if I didn't. The Department of Mary Sues has a Freelance Division, after all.

Silly is good. The PPC loves silly people showing up.

Another magic-lover, eh? Are you also a Pokémon fan, by any chance? Because as your newbie gift, I'll give you a Delphox!

Enjoy the craziness that is the PPC!

Take this X-men jacket and Nightcrawler plushie

Welcome to the PPC! We do indeed love newbies here, so take your shoes off, leave your sanity at the door, and come on in!

As a welcome gift, I'll gift you with the music of one Henri Dutilleux: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5Ib2dXTcak

How many of the Tortall books have you read? Which ones are your favorite? I've read up to Protector of the Small book one and the first Beka Cooper novel ("Terrier"). I tried reading Trickster's Choice, but I got confused halfway through.

Anyway, silly people fit right in here. Thanks for joining, and here's your complimentary bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. (Don't worry, I got rid of the gross ones.)

Hi, have some fudge!

I wouldn't worry too much about logins, just type your name in the "author" space (or let autocomplete do it for you). My login was eaten in a computer crash/reset and I've never been able to get a new one.

Hello and welcome!

I hereby give to you a lined Infinite Notebook, complete with urple covers and wilver binding. Enjoy, and don't look at it straight on!

-Aila

I dare not say anything about the Ironic Overpower... You must be pretty brave...
I lurked for probably... Over a month? before joining. You can thank Meekerbeeker for introducing me to the PPC through her stories.
Well, if you have a wikia account, in a few days you be able to edit the Unclaimed Badfic list. :3
No need to log in. *grins* actually, before I found out that you didn't need to put in your email, the Email fill-in was the only thing stopping me from joining XD
Aren't we all silly? :P

Welcome to the Board! I joined a few days ago, and also found the PPC via TV Tropes, although unlike you, I lurked on the wiki and the Original Series for about two weeks. As a fellow newbie, I give you best wishes!

I'm glad that we share a few fandoms. Percy Jackson is one of my minor fandoms that I didn't include in my introductory post, for whatever reason. I also really love the Harry Potter series.

Logging in isn't necessary, by the way. You can just type in a name.

I bestow upon thee a large U-shaped pillow. It may or may not bite; I'm not going to try to find out.

Hey!
Here have an urple colored pencil, get used to writing with your eyes closed with this wonderfully colored piece of stationary.

Have you read The Original Series and the Constitution? If not I suggest you do so right away (what are you sitting around for?)

Well I'm with you on the first two fandoms, can't say I've heard of the other two, but that doesn't really matter.

You'll fit right in, I don't think any of us are particularly that sensible.

Storme Hawk

Don't worry about logging in and all that; I don't think anybody bothers with it.

You've read Xanth, too? Isle of View! :D We share a lot of the same fandoms, it looks like. Very cool.

Lessee... presents... you get your very own Spearmint! Just watch out for the pointy end (make sure to point it at Mary Sues).

*bells* I watched the trailer clips! They got the voices right, I'm so happy! It's gonna be AWESOME!

...I just hope they (Funimation or TV Tokyo) adapt more of the manga, because THAT FRIGGIN' CLIFFHANGER ENDING WITH THE TITAN IN THE WALL ARRGH! (Also, manga volumes are quite rare in my experience. You know where I can grab any?)

Good Emprah, I used to LOVE Spore when I was younger. Just the concept is f***ing bull****.

BY THE EMPEROR HOW HERETICAL

Well, let's start at the top.

Jack: I like this guy. He knows the fine art of cowardice, and that can only help him. I think you did an excellent job of telling us who he is in this blurb. The relationship with his mother, the Boy Scout training, the belief that they only wanted him for his paperwork; all of that is really nice. I imagine the facial scars are going to be a revelation later, which can be a little cliched if done poorly, so just be aware of that.

Shawn: I don't know why, but I read this guy as a 80's-90's British Punk-rocker, which might be why I picture him with a mohawk or liberty spikes (note: This is not a bad thing. It is an interesting image.). That aside, his backstory explains his choice of weapons and his particular moral structure. I do worry about him being "more cruel than necessary," but at least you seem to already be aware of that being a potential problem. Just keep an eye on that.

Control Prompt: You used the name Jack for the canon character, which was a problem since we got no last name and you have a character named Jack speaking. Muddied things a bit at the beginning. I like the dynamic between the two here. It makes Jack seem caring and Shawn seem violent without being over the top about it.

Random Prompt: This, I think, is the stronger of the two short stories. It reverses, but still, reinforces the dynamic from the first story. It starts with Shawn being the calm one who is freaked out by Jack, which is nice to see. There are several moments that I think work particularly well. Jack kicking the gun under the bed, for instance, perfectly suits the character. I also really like the ending. The whole thing of actively tempting fate/the Ironic Overpower/the Laws of Narrative Comedy was well done. Also, the Molotov Cocktail did not help dissuade me from seeing Shawn as a Punk-rocker.

The Badfic: No idea, honestly. I don't know anything about Spore. I am, however, fairly certain that no one named Amy Marks could possibly be the Empress of anything called the Groxian Empire. The names just don't fit.

Verdict: Permission Granted. Happy hunting.

-Phobos

... I do think they actually get some vacation from time to time. They probably need less than most other species do, and surely are extremely careful to keep Agents from discovering it.

Pardon the pun. Anyway, I think it's a vacation photo, but not the kind you can use for blackmail. (oh, come on, you know someone wanted to). Give it to the Multiverse Monitor and let them make a mountain out of it.