Nov 2013 Archive, part c

Welcome to the board! Here, have virtual oleanders and a bottle of... something. No idea what's in it though.

Here have a Bleepolate milkshake! Enjoy!

~Autumn

A fellow Narnia fan, eh? Then here, have an Aslan plushie that roars when you squeeze it!

Hi there! Please accept my gift of a potato cannon, a basket of potatoes, and an Official Fanfiction University of Doctor Who sweatshirt.

Another Percy Jackson and Kane Chroniclea fan? Whooooo!

Hi, have some fudge!

I am 99Hedgehog but just call me 99. Have a Capitol Imperialis fresh from the Forgeworld of Mars!

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Capitol_Imperialis#.Uo2c_vmkxqA

The Emperor Protects!

Hello, Bonjour, Helo and Hola.

Have an Urple colored pencil.

Seems like we're interested in similar fandoms

Storme Hawk

Here, have... what the heck did I used to give out? Um... three magic potions, we'll call them magic potions, I think the bottles were clean... some bleepolate, two shoelaces, and a concrete penguin!

Got any fandoms? I seem to detect a possibility of you being into Percy Jackson. :D

Greetings and welcome!

I give to you for your very own a lined Infinite Notebook, featuring urple covers and wilver binding! Do be careful where you put your eyes, though. It could be painful.

-Aila

*Sees challenge, disregards expectations* "Let's see. You want me to prove my skill and end up on the other side of this hilarious barrier. Okay!"

That does show a certain level of ingenuity.

...as it is bypassing the original test parameters while getting the same results.


Can we turn this into a general "funny things" thread? Is so, I'm going to plug this little gem I found on YouTube!

It contains: NSFW language, topography being weird, mathematical hilarity, and flashbacks to every single linear algebra class you've ever had (or will take).

Where's my Bleeptea when I need it?
Why the hell are you wearing a dress?, rated K+, by Evania Awristeta
Augh. Just augh. Textbook example of a stupid trans-dimensional snatching. The stupid, it hurts...

A whole new level of bad.

http://www.quotev.com/quiz/3367149/How-much-do-you-know-about-Lord-of-the-Rings/

*winces* Rise of the Guardians does not deserve this.

On a happier note, let me recommend "Secret of Frost and Moon", a Rise of the Guardians fic. It rather successfully meshes book and movie canon. It's on the Pit.

I should have guessed that the suevasion would head into Rise of the Guardians. I mean, Jack Frost is freaking adorable and there's chosen ones, a variety of powers, and it's a fandom small enough that suethors probably count on having some attention...

But the tense shifts in this thing... And the fact that the sue is the "daughter of Mother nature" are quite annoying.

Is "Sixth Guardian" gonna be the new "Tenth Walker"?

http://www.quotev.com/quiz/474091/Which-of-the-Space-Marine-First-Founding-Chapters-best-suits-you/

This is good. It is from Quotev. PARADOX!

The Emperor is Pleased.

I have to agree that XCOM's really appropriate for the PPC though, heh. And more XCOMifications would be awesome, I agree with Herr there, but these are really cool!

Damn, this is brilliant, PC! I mean, I know I can make an XCOM squad out of anything, but... Dammit, I should've thought of this at some point!

Ah, well, fun times are had for all. Please post more pictures of your squad as you go! I'd love to see who else in the PPC you XCOM-ify.

(And yes, I love the XCOM reboot, too. I actually cleared out the EXALT base a couple days ago, and I've been having a lot of fun with the gene mods and the MEC units. Crazy times are had with the Enemy Within expansion! Here's to more awesome XCOM in the future!)

... Then I'd say it counts as a crossover, wouldn't you?

The author's note makes me think that the kid should know better. For one thing, they can spell.

I assume you're talking of this, demon sir?

I have limited knowledge of Guild Wars, I'm just gonna go check if a Sylvari is what I think it is.

I would like to beta. I believe you have my email? Is Google docs alright?

...I know that one Penny Chang would be thrilled to provide the Multiverse Monitor with some recently "declassified" DoI transcripts concerning the plagiarism incident.

Is that acceptable?

Unfortunately, I'm not really having this problem. Seems weird that this is happening.

Maybe it's a server issue on their end?

So, the problem persists, but we have figured out a little of what is going on.

The problem exists in trying to load the CSS from Twisted Skein. When I block the style sheet in my browser, everything loads very quickly, but with the same blue links and lack of fanciness that this problem is causing. In an effort to track this down further, I attempted to follow a link to TS from the Wiki. Alas, I cannot even access the site.

hS, everything working there on your end?

-Phobos

The Board used to have every post in a single thread available to view and select when I clicked on any individual post in that thread, which made it easy for me to follow multiple paths at once, and proved incredibly useful when I was catching up with the RPs a while back and when I needed to look through threads from a few years ago for information.

Now when I click on a thread, the only posts that appear are the ones immediately following the post I clicked on, with no other paths visible at all. I can't even click on the earlier posts in the path I'd been reading without going back to the front page and selecting them from there.

While this isn't so much of a problem when I'm looking at a thread that's currently on the front page, if I'm looking through a past thread from an unknown number of pages ago, it makes it impossible for me to trace back to the initial post, which is the only one that still lets layout behave as it originally did.

On the technical side, my computer runs on Windows Vista, and I look at the Board from Firefox and occasionally Google Chrome. It's been happening on both browsers. Not sure how much that will help, though, because I've also seen this issue when I checked the Board from two entirely different computers. Maybe I accidentally disabled something, or our Board is being used as a test for some new code. Nobody else has mentioned this issue, though, which is making me think that it might only be a problem that I'm experiencing.

But I've noticed that threads only load to the previous tier for me - I thought it was because I was accessing the site with a smartphone, but Firefox and Chrome both seem to be doing the same thing. Is this a New Thing we're trying, or did the 'Board just decide on its own?

Firefox (v25.01) on Winslows 7, Chrome (v31.0.1650.57 m) on Winslows 7, and Firefox 23.0 on Ubuntu 12.04 LTS all show the Board perfectly fine.

Er, sorry, channelling Clippy...

Anyhow. The usual reason for that is that when you loaded the Board, it didn't load up the style sheet which tells it how to do... all those things. Why not? Because... reasons.

I honestly don't know. The CSS is stored on my webs.com domain, so it may be a problem over there, but I seem to recall it happening back when it was on, uh, dropbox or something, too. I've never been able to detect any pattern to it. Ultimately, my guess is that the slow loading is the cause, rather than an effect - it loads slowly, so it never bothers to load the CSS. Why it's loading slowly? Eh... return to top of paragraph.

hS

PS: Hey, someone mentioned the light grey! What do you think of it? I was trying to put in something that would break up the Great White Page without changing the aesthetic too much - how'd it work?

This morning before I left for work it was doing that. It worked perfectly on my phone, though, and works perfectly here at work.

I think it might just be our internet.

-Phobos

Since no one asked, and I don't think you answered:
1) How did you run across the PPC?
2) Have you read the Original Series and the Consitution?
3) What are your favorite spinoffs (i.e., which departments'/agents' stories have you read), if any?

Yay! Another Animorphs fan! It was Animorphs that got me involved into this thing called fanfiction in the first place, given K.A.A.'s cliffhanger of an ending!

Have you run across any Animorphs goodfic? Myself, let me recommend The New Dawn and its sequel The Kelbrid Wars by Shane C. Actually, I'd recommend anything by Shane C; he really knows how to write good Animorphs fanfic.

*a-hem*
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, off to the newbie gift.

*rummages through bag of holding*
I hope that Pokemon is among the "lot more," otherwise, this gift might be a bit awkward.

*rummages some more*
There it is!
*presents Poke Ball*
Here, have a Ditto!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

I am 99Hedgehog but call me 99. Have an Amulet of Warding from Warhammer 40k!

No it isn't magical, it's technological. Don't tell the techpriests though...

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Amulet_of_Warding#.UpAJGMSkxqA

The Emperor Protects!

*showers Sleepy with Bleepolate sweets*

Welcome to our Board! Don't worry, all of us have been That Clueless Newbie once. Just a tip: make an effort not to post too many threads as possible. The front page of the Board only allows a limited number of 25 threads. If you have a badfic to report and there is a badfic thread already available, please post the link to the fic in reply to the thread. If you have more questions, please refer to the links to our FAQs on the top of this page. Another option is to ask the Boarders in this very thread.

Enjoy the PPC!

~Autumn

Geetings and welcome!

I give to you now a lined Infinite Notebook, featuring, as they have always featured, urple covers and wilver binding.

-Aila

Hi, have some fudge!

I read a lot of Hardy Boys when I was a kid, but I understand they've changed the books since the blue hardcovers.

And detective novels. *Hugs detective novels.*

Ooh... let's see what I've got for you... three batteries, a pencil, half a pack of notebook paper, and some bleepolate chip cookies!

Enchanted to meet you. Let me see...I have little, being a newbie myself, but let me gift you a bottle of Bleepka, a llama, this herring, and one comfy chair.

Which band?

He's almost done refurbishing his space station, but he needs to tighten a few of the outside bolts so that his kitchen doesn't fly off mid-orbit. The problem is that the bolts are all septagonal for a reason that no one at the hardware store can fathom, so none of the wrenches or other tightening apparatuses he has at home will work. He'd heard the Board was a place where strange and unusual objects were commonly excavated from crowded closets and handed off to newcomers, so he's sought us out for a device that can evenly secure septagonal objects. He promises not to shed scales on the carpets, and he's brought his family-recipe lasagna as a first-impression offering.
He apologizes for the scorch marks on the hallway tiling, by the way. The transmat beams can be a little... overenthusiastic, on occasion.

(Hey, since hazeleyeddemon doesn't know what a Yergi is either, maybe we can make a game out of this! People could type down their first impressions of what a Yergi would act like and what it would say/want, as well as whatever physical details of said Yergi would be relevant to that speech/action. It might be fun!)

(yes it's an emoticon, shut up)

Dunno, perhaps whatever the fox says.

No, seriously, what are you talking about?

There's a lesser possibility of teenage girls digging an old professor of Oxford University who often discusses literature with more old university professors. Don't get me wrong, I love that genius, Professor Tolkien, but I don't think the director would choose a "totally haaaaaaaaaawt" guy to play Professor Tolkien.

~Autumn

It's not like the movie they just did about Poe brought on a lot of historical person fic about him...

*Snuggles book of poe's short stories.*

Actually, you know what might make a great animated movie or short cartoon series? Farmer Giles of Ham. Because Tolkien did do some lighter work, after all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farmer_Giles_of_Ham

I would watch the stuffing out of that if it became a show... Actually, I made myself a stuffed animal of Chrysophylax when I was ten. :D

...are truly horrifying.

The Emperor Guide us in this dark time...

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome! I see that you've already mentioned which fandoms you like, so that's one question out of the way.
Two others:
1)How did you run across the PPC?
2) Have you read the Constitution and the Original Series?

As for your newbie gift...
*rummages through bag of holding*
Here, have a snowglobe depicting your favorite fictional city!
(I should figure out who originated that idea.)

P.S.: Please allow me to ask: why call yourself "lovinglydull"?

Have a bar of Bleepolate. No, take two. Wait, one more.

*dumps truckload of Bleepolate onto lovinglydull*

Here you go! Welcome!

~Autumn

You may have a pen, and a red pen, and a half-stack of post-its, and a tennis ball. Oh, and a piece of chocolate.

I am 99Hedgehog, but call me 99. Have a pair of Lighting Claws!

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Lightning_Claws#.UpEaWcSkxqA

The Emperor Protects!

Hello, Hola, Kamusta, Bonjour, and welcome to the PPC! Let me give you some Bleep-blaps, this stuffed herring, a sack full of adamantium power doorknobs, and this soulless teddy bear.

Greetings and welcome to the PPC! Since you've already said which fandoms you like, I'll skip that in favor of giving you a fluffy velociraptor as a present.

Have fun!

Hello and greetings!

Here, have a lined Infinite Notebook, featuring urple covers and wilver binding. Just don't look at it straight on.

-Aila

http://www.quotev.com/story/3352812/Becoming-a-Pasta/

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1050402

I'm considering podficcing it, actually.

-Aila

Since she's a Time Lady - and thanks to Lily, has actually discussed the Time War with the Doctor - I figured she needed an opportunity to react to The Day of the Doctor. Fortunately, she's one of my two agents who like writing essays and the like - so I let her go at it.

And since I've chucked a 'spoilers' warning up there, I don't even have to hide the spoilerish title:

Gallifrey Stands - by Agent Morgan, DMS

hS

I found it rather interesting. Very hilarious. It's written and directed by Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor. They managed to drag Sir Ian McKellan and Peter Jackson in, too, y'know, because Sylvester McCoy plays Radagast on a bunny sled in The Fangirl Magnet That Used To Be The Hobbit. And I suppose it's something to do with Sir Ian providing the voice of the Great Intelligence in The Snowmen too.

~Autumn

...but I am making plans to see Catching Fire with my mom... next weekend.

If I believe the critical buzz, it's that Catching Fire the movie is even better than the original Hunger Games movie. I mean, the first movie was really only competent, but it sounds like Catching Fire is really good. I'm personally looking forward to it as Catching Fire is my personal favorite book of the whole trilogy, and I'm really looking forward to seeing Jennifer Lawrence on screen again.

Also, Season 4 of MLP is something I'll need to get to. Eventually.

Didn't see most of the stuff but The Day of the Doctor! Man, Every Doctor ever! Gallifrey's destruction averted! Tenth and Eleventh! THE TIME WAR! *nerdgasm*

The Emperor Protects!

This Board can only display 25 threads at a time, and each new one pushes an older one off the front page, so could you please refrain from making anymore random one-line threads like this? There's currently a rather important discussion six threads away from the bottom, which is why it's me speaking up this time, but it's polite not to make a new thread for every passing thought anyway.

If it's random, fast-paced conversation you're looking for, why not try chatting in the IRC?

Thanks!

~Neshomeh

PS: When you get the braces off, always wear your retainer(s). (Bonus points if they're also OFU colors!) I didn't, and then I lost the retainers, and now it's pretty much all ruined.

...so I'll just pipe in that you can charge the fic for beige prose for not describing their clothes.

Depending on the amount of beige prose involved, you could also charge for general beige prose. I've actually tinted the canon in sepia tone a couple of times because of excessive beige prose...

Elleth is Sindarin for a female elf. The male version is ellon. However, the plurals are ellith and ellyn, respectively, so "elleths" is incorrect. If they're using "elleth(s)" to refer to both genders, that's also incorrect. Those would be charges of mangling canonical languages, IMO.

~Neshomeh

'Elleth' is Sindarin for 'female elf' (you may already know this?). I think the masculine equivalent is 'ellon', but that's not used very much in stories. I think the author doesn't want to say 'women' about a pair of elves - similar to not wanting to call Haldir a man, even though, as a male humanoid, the term applies reasonably well - so tries to use the Sindarin.

Unfortunately, 'elleths' is absolutely not how 'elleth' would pluralise. My Sindarin is a bit rusty, but Ardalambion seems to suggest 'ellith'. Good luck getting that past English speakers. ;)

I'd charge it for 'abusing Elvish languages', myself. When I asked a few months ago, I was told misspelled canon-language words (such as Sindarin terms) do not make a mini: they're just a mistake.

Which allows me to continue a long-running gag of mine: the mini-Word. Mini-Words are formed by things that wouldn't normally make a mini, in a situation where they clearly would. The first one to be observed was Aaragog - which came from a misspelling of the term 'mini-Aragog'. He looks like this:



Of course, as was pointed out, that typo would just make a mini-Aragog of its own, albeit a rather meta one, so he doesn't exist.

The second was a badfic which misspelled the Sindarin word 'aen' as 'sen' (it's in the first line of the FotR prologue). Here she is looking rather tragic in the Mode of Beleriand:



Of course, as just discussed, Sindarin typos don't make minis, so sen doesn't exist either.

And neither does 'elleths', the remarkably English mini-Word who would otherwise look like this:



(Yes, she smokes a pipe. Why does that surprise you?)

In summary: mini-Words don't exist. But if they did, 'elleths' would be one, and would be an adorable pipe-smoking string of runes.

hS

If it's significantly annoying, you can charge them for beige prose in general, such as "reducing middle-earth to featureless plains of grey," or something along those lines. In this case it would probably be "annoying the agents," depending on how you describe the agents' reactions to the clothes - like, do their eyes slide off them, making it hard for them to track the sues?

Also, from what I've read of the stattaco first chapter, don't forget to charge them for neglecting the common comma!

I can't help with the elleth situation, I'm afraid. My bet is that you've got a persistent mini, but spelling like that might change the behavior of the fic world.

Punishment
ZsadistCortel

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054977

Summary:
Germany remembered. He remembered even when he pretended to forget. Now, he was going to punish Prussia for the pain he had put him through. Prussia wouldn't be able to hurt him again.

It has good grammar, but that's it, I guess. Everything else is a cluster of OOC and wrongness on everybody's part.

Also, this part pissed me off to no end: World Wars I and II were just ploys to reduce Prussia to nothingness. What. Just flat what.


Ugh. WHY? What the hell is wrong with my fandom?

Also, if I ever get into writing PPC Missions, can I call dibs on this one?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8626815/1/A-fiery-rose

Naruto badfic. Contains Mary Sue, vast leaps in logic, alterations to history and characterization, and Guy and Lee being turned into a gestalt entity.

first one: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8888516/1/Son-of-Chaos-Book-One

Percy Jackson story with a replacement!Sue who is given the power to kill Gods. And that just the beginning. Also this is part of a series, meant to be following Rick Riordans original series, thankfully only made it to book 3 atm.

second one: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9749841/1/The-Silver-Fox-and-the-Wood-Elf

Had my eye on this one for a small while. Throws the Harry Potter canon for a loop with a Kitsune and a Wood Elf at Hogwarts. Fairly certain the two titular characters are Sues.

I'm posting this at the request of one of our lurkers, who contacted me by e-mail and wishes to remain otherwise anonymous. I figured I'd put it here and see if anyone knows this fandom rather than just sticking it on the wiki to rot if no one's even potentially interested.

The fic is "Night Rain" by laughtillyourstomachhurts. Our lurker friend reports the following issues:

- Chapter 1 OC description:

Sound like an extra powerful Mary Sue to me, with a weird and generally useless power (changing eye colours) other than just frightening the regular humans.

- Chapter 2:

The OC (Amaya Kuran) reads the actual Vampire Knight manga, and then attends school there. This appears to be a merging of the OC's world and Vampire Knight's. I don't quite know how to explain this.

- Chapter 3:

Bashing of Vampire Knight's heroine, Yuuki Kuran. It seems that the OC does this on purpose since she had already read the actual Vampire Knight comic and knows how Yuuki feels towards Kuran Kaname and spites her on purpose.

- Chapter 4 and the rest:

Generally speaking, getting cozy with other vampires. Which shouldn't even be happening, rendering vampire characters OOC.

Even if Yuuki Kuran is annoying (I don't think so, there's so many other character that are more annoying than her), I don't think that she deserves this sort of treatment.

---

Any takers, have at it!

~Neshomeh

And despite the fact that my family is made up of speed-readers and potential authors, that is just *sad.* This guy should be at least 14! Why do they write this?! What is Power Rangers anyways?! AUUGH!

Sorry. I think I need to move on to another thread before my head explodes.

I am requesting permission to take on the fic I submitted, power rangers delta force.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8957379/1/For-Pain-Makes-Us-Stronger

It isn't so badly written, but...why on Arda would an elf be named Vanya? Is she one? Dammit, she's one of the Teleri or Noldor at most, but Vanya!? And the Sue is just so...Sue-ish. "How could she be so strong?" Sweetie, Elrond, Galadriel, and lots of other elves from the First Age have faced worst circumstances.

~Autumn

I am claiming the following;

http://www.quotev.com/story/3258825/Mixed-Guardian-Jack-Frost-Love/

Let me say this right now: I am not a 'clopper,' or for those uninitiated to the brony lingo, one who fantasizes about having...intimate... relationships with the ponies in MLP. I do not find them attractive in that way, and the use of sex in any literature is a massive personal sin. Unless it is used really well, I do not like it. Now, with that out of the way:

I have glanced into the void of clopfics. I took a look on a dare, as well as reading some MST's on Ponyriffs, and I have found some of the worst things ever composed. I would not care if some of these were edited to become completely original works, they need to be burned. Here are just some of the more...interesting ones.

I'm not gonna bother with ratings, as they are all very NSFW, and possibly NSFB. Gore, sex, you name it, we got it here. Here, let me say it again so there is absolutely no confusion:

THESE ARE ALL NOT SAFE FOR WORK. THESE ARE ALL NOT SAFE FOR SANE MINDS. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO SEE THINGS YOU PROBABLY SHOULD NOT.

Apple Slices A clopfic between Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom. Notable not only for how it throws the Apples OOC, but Applebloom's cutiemark. No, it does not have to do with sex. It has to do with...De-sexing, if you catch my drift. By the end of this, you will know far more about the process of castration then you ever, EVER, wanted to know.

120 Days of Blueblood. Have you ever heard of 120 days of Sodom? No? Neither did I when I read the MST of this. Well, part of the MST of this, as the fic is so NSFW that it made me too sick before I could finish. I went a piece at a time, but had to stop eventually. Apparently, 120 days of Sodom is an infamous french book that was never officially published, as the text follows people who engage in insane orgies, rape, and pedophilia. At the end of the intercourse, those who were raped are brutally murdered. Take that, make it with ponies, and you have quite possibly the worst thing ever made.

You know what? I was going to link more, but I cant bring myself to dispose more onto this board. I feel dirty enough as is. If you want more examples, just look at anything riffed by Fallen Prime, HERE or just about any fic riffed by anybody on the Ponyriffs site HERE.

Now, if you excuse me, I have to go and soak in some holy water and read some good books to detoxify myself from these...things.

... but this screams stu. Adding a member to the canon company, getting a special save-the-world mission against the most powerful villian ever... yeah.

And it's in present tense! Have fun, Wolfsbane.

Her "farther" has to be a good source for spelling jokes. Get farther away from me, fic!

So you can send it to herrwozzeck@aol.com at your earliest convenience.

E-mail me the fic as well as the endings that you've considered. I might be able to think up something that could fit.

Though I'm no brony, Wikia is always helpful, and I should know enough not to get lost.

And adding to that, I'm not entirely familiar with the Naruto continuum, and haven't seen much MST3K(though I've watched enough derivative videos/read enough fan-inspired works to know how riffing works).

But from what I did see, it wasn't all bad. There were some funny moments, like the "When did it take it? Last poker night?" line at the beginning, and the "Unlike the gates of the town, which were unlocked and wide open." bit on one of the later pages, and you seemed to have the back-and-forth of the dialogue down pretty well in most places, but it did have its problems.

One problem I noticed: a lot of references that didn't add to the momentum or humor. Some of them weren't even entirely necessary, like the Starcraft reference that you immediately explain(references are usually intended as shorthand for certain concepts in this context, so if it's something that's easy to explain, the reference wouldn't have been needed at all) and a lot of others were obscure or confusing.
For an example of the latter, I had to look up what the Horseman's Word was on Google while I was reading the MST to get the joke that involved it, and now I'm just confused as to why you assumed that most of your readers would be in the know on Scottish secret societies from the 1800s. By the time I was done wondering, any humor that the joke might have had was dissipated. There were a few other references you made that I couldn't even find Wikipedia pages for, and I'm still lost on what the joke was on those. Like with "Pixy Gale". All I was given from the Google search on that was the information that it was a manga, as well as a few pictures attached to the top of the search screen(unprompted, mind you; I had intended on a Web search) that made me contemplate clearing my browser history.

Another thing: you talk about the canonical details just, at length. Since I don't know the continuum very well, that stands out to me even more. A riffing, as I know it at least, tends to have several brief humorous moments that react to specific flaws in logic, individual lines and/or dialogue to mock, what have you. True, in the video formats I'm most familiar with, it's kept brief to keep from covering up anything else the riffers would like to mock, but it's a good principle in general.
Talking about canonical details, while helpful in determining what the story does wrong, isn't really that entertaining. That's why it's best for recounting what just happened to occur in short bursts, interspersed with jokes, reactions, puns, what have you. I spent most of those asides looking for some sort of comedic payoff, or punchline, or running gag, or something, but nothing came up. Look at the page right after the "Chapter 2" heading to see what I mean there. I'm not going to copy the whole dialogue here, because I made my point and that would be too many extra words.
Addendum to this: Dragging something on too long, even if it's a joke anyone can understand, will make it less funny. This didn't crop up a lot here, but given this writing style, it's something to watch out for.

Oh, and one last thing. You explain a lot of the jokes. Cut that out. I had actually briefly laughed aloud at "Poor Foot. He was a good man once.", and then you went and explained it in the next few lines, roping in more canonical details in the process, and I could feel the laugh die in my lungs. It kind of stung. Sometimes you just have to let a joke stand on its own grounds. You even mention this problem in the dialogue at one point, but don't do anything about it.

I was going to say something else, but now that I'm at this point, I've forgotten what it was. Oh, well. This post is long enough as it is.

I mean… well… I've never really been good with this sort of thing. Or whatever.

The best I can think of is heavy sarcasm on the abusive!villagers. That's it.

Sorry.

(That way we can include people outside of the US.) :D

I didn't have Internet access yesterday, but now I'm sitting in a coffee shop getting some work in, so here I am. {= )

Later we're venturing out to the biggest indoor mall in the country in the hopes that all the nutty tent-dwelling Black Friday people will have been and gone already. Wish us luck!

~Neshomeh

Roll up, roll up! Get your wargear, weapons and vehicles fresh from the 41st Millenium! We have Necron Gauss weapons, we have Tau battlesuits, we have Imperial Tactical Dreadnought Armour!
AND THAT'S NOT ALL! If you reply within 24 hours you get a second choice of equipment absolutely free! That's right, a second piece of gear absolutely free!

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Main_Page#.Uphel8QW3kc

The Emperor Sells!

Happy Thanksgiving! Here, have a plate of turkey and this joke, everyone!

"Black Friday should actually be called The Hunger Games. People kill each other and the winner gets a $20 crock pot."

~Autumn

It's always nice to see the Flowers have a bit of a get-together. XD and there's at least one inmate (not sure if that's the right word) of Crossovers who's been there four years now and doesn't seem inclined to leave. :p (William Marshall, Potterverse wizard.)

It's a nice little story with some good character moments (like the Lichen twitching his rock), but I can't help but feel a bit disappointed that you didn't keep the quirks I gave Admiral Pansy here. I suppose it would've made his bit with the Lichen about 'outside influences' a bit hypocritical, but still.

This was a nice, simple piece to read over dinner! You've got so many little details to show that this conversation takes place between psychic plants: the "food," the mental gestures, the way they talk about humanoid agents--even the server's lack of description, like they aren't even on the Flowers' minds. (Might like to hear a bit about the waitstaff at some point, though.)

I hope the "future Plot" bit was about Selene Windflower disappearing! I've always thought she was cool, even though I wasn't around reading her during her "active years." In general, it's nice to see less frequently-used agents and departments get mentioned and discussed.

One nitpick: I assume the League mentioned at the end is AHAIRQL, in which case it should be spelled Quiddich, not Quidditch.

For this occasion, I shall break out a skill I actually do have: wood carving!

For Pretzel, I bestow a sculpted replica of the Serenity. I nicked up the nose a bit, unfortunately, but I cleaned it as best I could and put a lot of time into the details on the engine.

For PoorCynic, a replica of the TARDIS control room, circa Tenth Doctor. I'd have to say the hardest part of this piece was getting the shape of the coral-esque columns just right. But vigorous referencing solved that problem.

Enjoy.

Cake, Bleeprin-berries and a sling each to go with the sacks of pebbles!

...am I too late?

Anyways, joyeux anniversaire to both of you! Have some cake and coriandoli!

*carts giant 5-storey-Bleepolate-cake into room* Here, knock yourselves out, everyone! And you two, Pretzel and PoorCynic, get the largest slice with the strawberries and extra whip cream on top. Champagne, Bleepbeer, and Bleepka's over there. *points to table beside cart* Happy eating!

~Autumn

Have some variations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v26G0pX86Po

Happy bi-rthday,
Happy bi-rthday,
People dy-ing everywhere,
People li-ving in despair,
Happy bi-rthday,
Happy bi-rthday…

Mwahaha. The not-really happiness of it all.

I love this song.

And a happy birthday to PoorCynic as well.

And for your birthday gift:
*rummages around in bag of holding*
here's a Delibird, the Delivery Pokemon!

Watch out; its presents have an 80% chance of exploding!

I myself plan to achieve level 22 this winter. :D

*throws Generic Gifts*

-Aila

Have a cake. Made out of Necron Living Metal.

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Living_metal#.UpnHyMQW3kc


The Emperor Celebrates!

Happy birthday! Many happy returns!
-Offers a pint of Guinness-

While you were reaching level 24, I was hitting level 26. In other words, happy simultaneous birthdays to both you and me!

...whippersnapper.

Here is a pound cake, boasting the edibility and preservative properties of dwarf bread. May it serve you well in every encounter calling for a blunt instrument.

Hello! It's nice to see another Hetalia fan (so far I only know one person).
Here, have a urple sugar cookie (large). It's delicious - just don't look at it.

What is the translation of your name? I'm a fair Tolkien geek myself (I do a lot of RPs on tumblr these days) and I enjoy learning about ward meanings and such, and I can't seem to figure it out.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object!

Welcome.

Have an urple colored pencil.

Err... that's all I have to say for now. Enjoy your stay at the PPC.

Hello, 'Hey, I forgot your name!' Here, have a wilver party hat! You can grab yourself some cake over there *points towards birthday celebration going on* and some Bleepka.

Since Des already linked you to the Constitution and the FAQ: For Newbies, here's the links to the other FAQs:

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:_The_Board
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Guide_to_the_PPC
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Mission_Writing_Guide

Oh, and do check out "On Permission To Write PPC Stories" above on this page. It's very, very important that you read, especially if you haven't.

Happy reading! And enjoy the PPC!

~Autumn

Welcome to the PPC! I'm guessing that since you are a Tolkien fan, your username is in an actual Elvish tongue, yes? There happen to be Boarders here who can tell if it isn't!

As for your newbie gift:
*rummages through bag of holding*
Here, have a Muggle-Use Wand! It will come in handy for your Agents once you get Permission!

But other than that, welcome to the PPC.

Just one question for today: What's Narina? Is it supposed to be Narnia?

So yeah. Have a fluffy velociraptor, and enjoy the ride!

Hello and greetings!

I give to you a lined Infinite Notebook, featuring urple covers and wilver bindings. Avert thy eyes!

-Aila

Have a decorative wreath! And a piece of fudge! And a thumbtack!

(Be careful with the wreath - trimming branches may anger the ents!)

Welcome to the Board! I see you've left a mini-Dragon in your entry post, so here it is back! Take good care of Narina!

Hi, Person-Who-Uses-Lots-Of-Exclamation-Points! Please leave your sanity at the door. That said...
It is required that you will read The Constitution, as it is, well, the Constitution. I assume you already know about The Original Series, but here's a link to the useful wiki and that place where people sometimes hang out. You should also probably read this.
That said... have this cup of very good green tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you.