Aug 2013 Archive, part c

I've been thinking of these two for a while. Hopefully I won't make 'em Sues...

Sif

Big Sister Mentor - She is this to Anya, being both older and more experienced.

Yamato Nadeshiko/Lady of War - She acts very lady-like, calm and polite. She prefers to avoid unnecessary combat. That being said, she is a brilliant manipulator and proficient in combat.

An Offer You Can't Refuse - She was originally a bit-character made as a romantic rival for a Sue. She joined the PPC because she didn't want to die.

Aloof Dark-Haired Girl - She can be extremely reserved and annoyingly polite. She happens to have black hair.

Anya

Heroic Wannabe - Really wants be able to defeat all Mary Sues and save canons. More often than not, she needs to be saved by Sif.

Tomboy - Very much so. She is occasionally mistaken for a boy.

Genki Girl - Tones it down a bit on missions. Constantly annoys Sif.

No Social Skills - Incapable of communicating with anyone without seriously annoying or insulting them.

Marco West
He who Fights Monsters~As a reformed Borderline Stu Marco runs the risk of becoming this every time his "Sue powers" are unlocked

Heartbroken Badass,Celibate Hero~In the fic he was recruirted from Marco was in a relationship with Hermione Granger upon recruirment he vowed to uphold canon in all fiction even if it meant he'd lose her forever. This leads to her being his Lust Object and to him refusing any sort of romanatic relationship

Power Limiter~A scorpion tattoo on his left hand (represents his self destructive nature as a borderline Stu). Controls his "Sue Power" and limits him to three minutes at the various stages at which he must defeat the sue/stu or revernt to normal.

Love Hurts~Formerly in a Relationship with Lana Potter (The sue of his fic) before she was killed by the PPC agents who were about to kill him. Her Wraith appers often possessing Sue siblings/cousins of Harry's or in Imposter Sues of Hermione or other attractive canon females, trying to kill or convert him.



Agent Jameson

Judge,Jury & Executioner, All Crimes are Equal~From the Warhammer40k Universe Agent Jameson is a member of the Adeptus Arbites a police force simmilar to the Judges of the Judge Dreadd univrese.

Sociopathic Hero~ Arbites are trained in canon to not show emotion as this might impair thier ablity to be impartial

Not so above it all~ Agent Jameson runs a "Tabletop RPG" group for agents who are from Tabletop and Pen and Paper game universes and Agents who are fans of them. Being from a Tabletop Game himself he feels this is a way to fit in with the other agents and socialize

No Name Given~Calls himself as do others his Arbite rank "The Marshal" since he joined the PPC he learned that other people share his name in alternate fan communities some in goodfics and roleplays and refuses to give his real name because of the legit paranoia he might run into himself or someone who knows that universe's version of himself.




Thats all I have for now. I'll most likely think of more as the two agents develop (please offer constructive crit)

If we don't have premission can we still play?

Good stuff, and happy birthday!

The birthday tradition at my house is to sing a really depressing birthday song, so here goes:

(sung in deep, sad voice)
Happy birthday, happy birthday,
People dy-ing everywhere,
People li-ving in despair,
Happy birthday, happy bi-rthday...

All the hyphens are pronounced by drawing out the word, in case you didn't get that.

But anyways, happy birthday! *Grabs another handful of snacks*

Happy 25th Birthday! Here you go! *hands you a neutered tribble with a gift bow attached to it*
Hope you have or are currently having a great day!

And many happy returns.

And behold! I have a top hat kitten, combining the best features of both. Just don't look at it or think too hard about how that's supposed to work...

*Quietly moves over to the cake*

Have a Fancy PG Hat! You'll probably need it at some point, and it looks dashing.

Hope it is/was a good one! (Sorry, timezones get me everytime....) Have a Generic Object that may or may not be late!

*Sings "Happy Birthday"*

In honor of your birthday, I have a special present for you! Or to be more precise, a special something that has a special present for you!

Now where did I put it?
*rummages through bag of holding*
*Pulls out Poké Ball*
Here you go! Inside is a Delibird, the Delivery Pokemon. But you accept its deliveries at your own risk; its presents have a chance to either heal your wounds or explode! A very...interesting companion to have around!

Quarter of a century is quite a milestone - hope you're having a good one.

Happy B-day and remember...The cake is a Lie!

The quarter-century mark is quite significant, I've found. Many people use the time to reflect and re-evaluate.

Anyway, here is a Perfectly Generic Object and a pumpkin. Have fun!

-Phobos

I bring two metaphysical gifts:

-An experience of existential uncertainty: good grief, you've been here five years? I bet that feels like a long time...

-A quantumly-uncertain invitation to a Gathering next Saturday. It will only become a genuine invitation if you look at it with the intent of attending; otherwise, it will turn into a pamphlet about The Dangers Of Eucalyptus.

Hope you had a great day!

hS

*showers with confetti*

*places Generic Gift on table*

*eats cake*

-Aila

So I guess we're all hijacking now?
Anywho, I've shared the OFU registration form with some people, but I've only gotten 2 replies.
I would appreciate it if you could reply ASAP. If you didn't get the form and would like to join, please don't hesitate to email me at kittythekatty@gmail.com

You're right, once you hijack a thread, without a public service announcement to give, there really isn't anything to say.

So, a public service announcement. The cake is indeed a lie, Falcon7974 is correct.

*RELEASING CONTROL.*

EVERYONE LISTEN UP

...what do you do with a thread once you've hijacked it, anyway? Does anyone have directions to the bakery?

Guys someone found out about Purple Stuff!

Look here for what I found.

On the main page of the Other Board, the links to the PPC Constitution and the "main PPC content page"(I'm not sure what that means, but it may have been another Board or an early version of the wiki) are currently both dead. They appear to have both linked to a site called Oddlots originally, but now only redirect to one of those "this site was not found, so maybe you mean one of these" browser web searches.

Could someone with sufficient knowledge change where those links go? I know that there's at least one person active who can change the Other Board, because there's a reminder to read the Constitution at the top of every page that wasn't there a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure who it is, so I can't ask them directly. It might have been Huinesoron, since he was the one who changed the main Board's header a while ago, but again, I'm not sure.

Unfortunately, you appear to have started another thread entirely. Responding to the top post is no different from responding to any other post on the Board, and the "Post Message" tab on top is the button to start a new thread, not a reply function.

If you know all of this already and my response here is just embarrassing or annoying you, I apologize. If you didn't, well, mistakes happen, and hopefully the information here will prevent a future problem.

I was kind of wondering where you went! How've you been apart from all the computer dying stuff?

Welcome to the PPC! Have a gallon of frozen yogurt and Jayfeather's Genuine Stick(tm) as housewarming gifts. Both are superb tools for communing with dead felines.

Beings that prey on description... I like it. I imagine them as somewhat volcra-ish. I think you're onto something here. :)

-- Len

Hello and welcome to the PPC! An FMA fan, eh? Let me see if I have anything appropriate:

*rummages through bag of holding*
Aha! Have a plushie of your favorite Alchemist or Homunculus!

I don't think that I've seen many FMA missions. Are you planning on getting Permission anytime soon?

Greetings, new friend!

Have a pair of alchemical running shoes! Just avoid running through any transmutation circles.

Hello there! Please accept a burrito cannon and a sack of breakfast tacos.
As for your question, perhaps the character would be like a shadow.

I know three of your fandoms! Hi!

Here, have a lined Infinite Notebook, with urple covers and wilver binding that may just hurt your eyes. Look after them.

-Aila

Wonder what compelled all of us lurkers to come out NOW?


And to answer your question, I could imagine anything from a disembodied voice (if the dialog is not attributed to anyone) to an incongruous loudspeaker (or fantasy-world equivalent) to just a very beige, undescribed bit.

Oh yes, and do you mean "Alien Planet" the mid-2000s mockumentary? I've been looking everywhere for that.

Have a legion of miniature panda bears as your housewarming gift. Your reign of terror is now within reach! /*maniacal laugh*/

Welcome to the PPC. :D

-- Len

Yay for lurking! And shame about the board. It does so enjoy making us all jump through hoops to do join.

And, as a welcome-to-the-jungle gift, here is a top hat kitten! It combines the best features of top hats and adorable small cats. Just, you know, don't try to figure out how it fits together. Because of the seizures, you know.

Another ex-lurker, eh? Welcome; we don't bite!

Since you've been around for years, you might already be able to answered the first two questions affirmatively, but just in case:

1) Have you read the PPC Constitution?
2) Have you read the Original Series?
3) How did you run across the PPC?
4) What are your fandoms?

Not much to get to know here: I'm a would-be lurker forced out of hiding by my strong inclination to speak my mind on every and any subject that catches its attention.


For your welcome gift have a self-heating vial filled with blifir' - chifir' prepared with Bleepto-Dismal instead of water. Save it for the truly disgusting fics.

Instructions: Shake vial until it feels warm, twist cap, drink contents slowly.

Warning: More than two sips (the vial contains one) may induce heart problems and memory failure.
Consumption of any noticeable amount of chifir' - and by extension blifir' - can also lead to vomiting and constipation, the former of which you'll already be familiar with if ever you find yourself in a situation where you have to reach for the vial.

Greetings good person...Please take your choice of Series 4 de-atomizer or the greatest gun ever given to us from the mib universe the Noisy-Cricket. Also, the cake is a lie!

A welcoming word. Glad to have you onBoard! Have a Carafe of Continuous Caffeine. It doesn't violate any known laws of physics... I promise....

Greetings, new friend! It seems I've spotted a pheasant. >_>

Have a special stop watch! It lets you travel through time, but it only goes forward, and only one second at a time.

Yes, I know its someone else's line. *snickers* Anyhoo, hello! I'm fairly new myself, but here's a set of urple-binded Harry Potter books!

Hello fellow lurker! Have a potato cannon and a basket of yams!
Do you have any fandoms?

Wow, that's a long while. Greetings and welcome!

As for your gift, I give you a lined Infinite Notebook (urple covers and wilver binding included; be careful where you look) for your very own!

-Aila

Of course, badfic has stayed mostly the same too, which I find quite interesting. With all the different anti-badfic techniques that have cropped up over the years, wouldn't there be some changes? Wouldn't there be fewer Sues? What do you think?

Fanfiction has been around as long as sentient minds have had the ability to make stories. (For more on this, see most of the later issues of Sandman. Or, see also, the Foglio's take on it, from Girl Genius.) I wonder, sometimes, how many stories of the gods and goddesses of ancient cultures - Greek myths, for example - were originals, and how many were story-telling after the fact that got woven in over time.

As for "anti-badfic techniques," I'm honestly not sure what you mean. There's nothing out there stopping people from writing whatever they want, good or bad, and nor should there be. We all go through a learning process as we write. We all start out writing bad stories, and get better as we learn from our mistakes. (Well. Most of us get better. Some of us stop writing, and some of us refuse to learn from our mistakes. See again: the entirety of the history of sentience.)

If you mean stuff like the PPC, that's not really "anti-badfic," not in a sense that would stop people from writing it. (And again - nor should it. The last thing we want to do is silence those we disagree with.) It's just a different kind of fanfic - one that happens to revolve around other folks' fanfic. Meta-meta-meta-fiction. Sort of. But actually stopping badfic? Well, first we'd have to agree on exactly what badfic is, which probably will never happen, since what's good and bad fanfiction is so subjective. (Mostly. The stuff we generally mission, as pointed out several times, is the hilariously-bad, not the mediocre or the "bad but it could be improved." That's for a reason.)

But my point is, most people will never read fringe stories like the PPC, or Sue-slayers. They're written for a very small audience, for the most part, because most people don't actually know fanfiction exists when they start dreaming it up, and may not even know fanfiction exists when they start writing - until they get into a community, and even then, a lot of folks don't much care to distinguish between badfic and goodfic, and the ones that do either leave concrit or flames or just don't bother reading it... and the very few folks who are left over may or may not ever actually care enough to find the PPC. So... we're not really making a huge difference in fandom, in any single fandom. The point, as far as I know, is to entertain each other and vent about stuff we dislike - writing as catharsis. That's never going to stop anyone (and, yet again, nor should it).

As for the thread going on about whether we're allowed to mission these... Please don't.

1) They were written, for the most part, multiple decades ago. The authors who wrote them would probably be deeply embarrassed to know they're still floating around. Lois Bujold got her start in writing there, and IIRC, one of the ones she wrote was the story where Cordelia's Honor started. And although a Klingon and a Vulcan falling in love may be utterly bizarre fanfic, and perhaps something some of us would write scathing reviews of, Cordelia's Honor is an excellent book. It's a cheap shot to go after something so long ago, so far, when we have no idea how the authors feel about it now.

2) Not everything needs our input. To me, it's really awesome that we have records of where the fandom started out! Maybe it's just me being old and crotchety, but I find it a bit irritating that our first thought in finding this interesting history is "How can we best mock it?" Please... don't. Appreciate it, laugh at it... don't go after it. Please.

Hermione, do you know what you just found? You just found the missing piece to my idea for a Flower centric mission! For this discovery, I will even give you the right to use this idea as your own, if you want it. The idea came when reading about the Flowers on the wiki, and I saw that in the past, Flowers did misions, rather than agents. So, if I could find some old fanfic, from the 70's or earlier, I could write one of the mission reports from the Flowers! We could learn more about our favorite department heads as they take out Sues without most of the technology we have now. The implications are staggering! Anyway, I will fade back into the background and either write the thing or let somebody else take it. My only request is that Hermione has first dibs. Should she decline it, feel free to descend upon the poor plot bunny and claim it as your own.

This is... quite the find! I actually find it interesting that the plots, the fetishes, even the writing style are almost IDENTICAL to the bile we deal with on a daily basis. I wasn't exactly expecting something COMPLETELY different, but language changes, memes and cultural preoccupations change, the literate demographic evolves... you'd think that in the early 70s ficcers would at LEAST be less willing to publish thinly veiled transformation-fetish material...

Despite all the anti-sue methods, there will always be hormonal fangirls/boys who are too immature to write anything with more than a centimeter of depth. Thus, the PPC will always have job security. But that is just my humble opinion, and I wouldn't advise making any life choices based on it.

*bows*

I did 1.5 archivings of the Board (my archiver had some issues with character encoding in a specific old post, so I had to stop and go again). The archive I took is importable into T-Board instances (that is, there's a way to stick it into a database) or loadable into a Ruby interpreter. I gave Dann and VM copies so that the data hangs around for a bit longer. I also archived us because there's some things we've done (writing, games, links to missions) that are only preserved on the Board, and I didn't want us, as a community, to lose them to the abbyss at the end of the Board, which is now swallowing June 2008.

The Mary Sues in Sparklee were set up with an internet connection and after much trial and error managed to connect to our site and were so angry about it that they started to plan a strike attack on the PPC using Warrior!Sues but then realised that the PPC Board was a place on the internet where upon they started to spm the Board innssessantly until the spambots were so fed up with it that they kicked the Sues and I Obliviated them all andthen they wandered off and began to read Larry Marder's Benaworld comics.

It was a spambot rush, but before they managed to post antything they got stampeded by the Ypurs.

I'm pretty sure there's still some running around since the Blackout.

But I saw a badfic on the claimed badfic list and read it...

Halfway through the story I decided that if I didn't kill it, it would be a violation of one of my duties to the human race. I think I might have spit a nail at the time.

But it was already claimed so the best I could do was write down an extensive rant about it and put my fist through a wall, among other calming and nondestructive therapies.

1. Find someone supportive to rant at until you feel better. (Remember not to bash the author!)
   
   2. Take the energy you have and use it for something constructive, like a goodfic about the character in question. Show the world how it should be done.
   
   3. MST the sucker. You can MST almost anything. (Again, remember not to bash the author.)
   
   4. Personally? If a thing is so stupid or irritating that I can't get any humor out of it, I tend to just write it off as not worth my energy and go do something else until I can calm down. House- or yardwork is a great way to blow off steam—plus you get some work done, and that's a nice feeling. A game (I like Minecraft) can also distract you long enough to get a grip.
   
   5. Always remember the MST3K Mantra: "It's just a show [or book, movie, fanfic, etc.], I should really just relax."
   
   I hope one or more of the above help. {= )
   
   ~Neshomeh

I think this looks like a good addition. I remember when I first joined the Board I was a little unsure of what to say, but managed to work it out by looking at what other people had said, and what responses they got. Having something like this would have made that a whole lot more convenient for me.

One other thing that it might be worth adding to the Newbie FAQ somewhere is the fact that we don't encourage people to tell badfic authors about sporkings. I'm sure I remember seeing a few posts (I think one may have even been an Intro post) on the Board along the lines of 'I've found this badfic so I let the author know that it'll be PPCed soon'. The FAQ for Other People says that it's not something that we do, but on my (admittedly quick) scan through the current Newbie FAQ I couldn't see anything telling the newbies that it's not sort of thing we do - so it might be a little unreasonable to expect them to know that.

I'm also not completely sure that the current order of the points in the FAQ is the most useful. In my experience, the longer a document is the less likely it is that everyone reading it will actually finish it. Given that, is the difference between a Division and a Department really the most critical bit of knowledge, that one bit that we want to make sure every Newbie sees? Personally I think this 'On Joining' section should be first (if it were to go in near the bottom then I think there's a good chance that it won't end up being read by the people that need it most), probably followed by the bit on Permission before we start going into details on Standard Operating Procedures and PPC Tech. Some of the sub-points in Miscellaneous are probably important enough to warrant a higher placement as well, although I agree that the Misc section should usually be last.

Sorry for hijacking this post, but since you mentioned editing a PPC article, I believe that this is as good a place as any to ask: What's the progress on your edits to the Mary Sue article on the Wiki? Last I checked, it seems that nothing has changed yet.

If you're a newbie, or if you lurked for a long time before your first post, would this have helped you? If not, what (if anything) would make it more helpful? Please be specific! I can't address or work with what isn't put into words.

If you're currently a lurker, of course we'd love to hear from you, too. {= )

Any other opinions are also welcome and needed!

~Neshomeh

I think this would be really useful. I definitely know I was hesitant to start posting on the Board.

Giving people a few ideas about what to say in their first post is an excellent idea. :D

Of course, some people still wouldn't read it, but it's good.

Assuming people will read this, it'll simplify stuff for the newbies. Plus, it'll force me to actually think about my welcome messages.

I actually think I like the more freeform method of introduction. Creating a process makes it seem more cold and impersonal.

...in fact, most of those are points I'd actually agree on you with. Hell, in my own ME fanfiction I myself have a moment where my character chews gets into a yelling fight with Miranda about the Overlord DLC where he's all "what the f*** was Cerberus thinking". So all these points are valid, and Cerberus is in fact not the greatest organization on the planet.

There are just two problems. First up are all the problems that some of the pro-Cerberus guys that used to hang around the BioWare Social Network bring up, and SeaTurtle just did a great job of mentioning them. Hence, why I won't be doing too much.

The second, much bigger problem in my eyes is this: whenever a badfic author bashes Cerberus, they either turn the whole organization into a bunch of idiots, or they never shut up about how evil it is: worse still, most badfics usually do both things. I get why they don't like Cerberus, I really do. However, I understand that Cerberus' atrocities are the consequence of the "ends justifies the means" approach that they take: most badficcers almost completely miss that, and they go on to portray TIM and Cerberus in a way that is more "their atrocities are there because they're EEEEVIIIIL". There's a huge difference between well-intentioned-extremist-evil and mustache-twirling-because-we-can-evil. And when a Mass Effect badficcer dips into mustache-twirling-because-we-can-evil with Cerberus, that is typically when I start to get annoyed with the portrayal of Cerberus.

I do have some counter-points though:

Cerberus and its atrocities: there is little doubt that Cerberus is in deep when it comes to the legal stuff. Then again, this organization's madness mantra rationale is "Humanity first." Given the fact the Reapers are targeting humans first in this cycle and that the various races of the Milky Way are facing something that is totally out of their league, they think desperate times call for desperate solutions. They need to understand things such as Thresher Maw acid. They need to understand Indoctrination. They need to secure the Crucible's plans. They need whatever bit of intel an uncooperative person knows. And they will take what they need by force, which is what they usually do. At the end of the day, all that is left to justify Cerberus' actions is the Illusive Man's mantra: "Humanity first. We must survive, no matter the cost."

Speaking of which, wasn't that Saren's justification too? "If we cooperate, they might let us live. I must do whatever it takes to curry favour with Sovereign. The ends justify the means."

And when the Illusive Man's plans failed? "I tried, Shepard."


The Illusive Man's chain of command: TIM is in charge and he has the final say on projects. Given what I've said above, I don't think it's a matter of TIM not knowing or ignoring what's going on below him; he's fully aware of the situation and will gladly BS a story when his shadier projects are uncovered by Shepard. TIM is a master manipulator driven by his madness mantra. He's looked into the darkness and came out believing that the only way to fight it is to commit necessary evils.


Shepard cooperating with Cerberus: it bugged me for a while until I considered the full implications of a newly resuscitated Commander flying the SR-2 directly to Earth and surrendering themselves to Alliance officials. Regardless of their moral alignment, Shepard realizes that the Collector threat needs an immediate response and that Alliance procedurals would slow them down or maybe even preventing something from happening in the first place. They (begrudgingly) agree to cooperate with Cerberus on the basis that both want the Collectors dead as soon as possible. Furthermore, Paragon!Shep will call Cerberus out on their actions whenever they can. See TvTropes' Enemy Mine.


Miranda's case: This ties in a bit with what I've said above: if Shepard decided to off Miranda at any point in the operation, TIM would know what's up and sic all of his grunts on Shepard. Maybe a still-shackled EDi would comply with an order to engage a self-destruct system. The Commander knows that TIM has them in a corner, so they're forced to play nice with their custodians.

During Miranda's loyalty mission and inter-mission chats, we learn that the main reason she stuck with Cerberus was that they were one only ones who helped her (and her sister) hide from her father. Shepard presented her another way out: a path where she retains authority but where her superiors actually listen to her.

I do agree with the part about verbal hostility though. That would be a satisfying touch.



...aaaaaand that's all I have for now. What do you think?

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­- Tomash

I can't wait to see Lake-town, particularly since I'm writing a fic centering on the city. I'm especially curious about how Azog and Co. will fit into the second installment, since neither Orcs nor goblins showed up at all between Beorn's house and the Battle of Five Armies.

...I'm just going to answer the question and say that I can't wait to see Smaug. *chortles in glee*

I suspect that we'll see the battle at Dol Guldur at the end of the second movie. It was where Gandalf went afterall when the dwarves were in Mirkwood. The Battle of Five Armies won't happen until the third movie, so to make a climatic ending for Part 2? Battle with the Witchking and evicting the Necromancer out of Dol Guldur.

And I agree with the inserted line somewhere that Legolas would never be friends with a dwarf.

~AW~

I would also like a Tempting Fate moment, and by the looks of the Trailer, I think it might happen.
I also hope that Legolas's screen time is limited, because 1. the book is about the 13+1 company, and 2. he is not mentioned in the books.
I would also enjoy seeing the lair of Smaug (and Smaug himself)
Now, what I would absolutely hate (with a burning passion) is if Tauriel goes off and gets married to Legolas (or has a relationship with him - most elvish lovers get married, it seems). I am not a Legolas-lover, but I think it would be a too big of a change from the books. If he gets married to a canon character, fine with me, but an OC (basically, Tauriel is PJ's OC)....

I'm not going to watch it (not a movies guy, and I kinda dislike how PJ adapted Lord of the Rings), but I'm pretty sure we're going to get another badfic explosion.

I think I'd like to see both Mirkwood and Lake Town fleshed out a little. As the book stands, they're both basically semi-villainous obstacles.

I get the impression Mirkwood has been expanded - very much so - and that's good. Yes, even though they do have a foundling as their only identified female elf in the trailers. But Laketown... well, I'm pretty sure I've seen Stephen Fry waxing lyrical about how slimy he gets to play the Master of Lake Town; if so, that's a real pity, because it would have been great to see him as a decent(ish) person whose goals just conflict wildly with the Fourteen's. Yes, canonically he's rather self-important - but I worry he's going to be a cartoon villain.

hS

(Also I'd like to see them not claim the Witch-King is dead again, but I doubt I'll be that lucky...)

For those of us following THE NEW GIRL on Voyager, there are quite a few new chapters since it was last reported to the Board. I don't remember how many, so here's the first chapter: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7089561/1/THE-NEW-GIRL-on-Voyager

And some Bleepolate. As one to the reviewers said "Half the fun of reading is deciphering what exactly people are saying, right?"

First sporking, good thing it's a short fic!

Elliot gave sighed walking into her old pink bedroom [Have I mentioned recently that I do NOT LIKE PINK? I suppose that as a color it has its uses, but whenever I see it I just think of Pepto-Bismol and Victoria's Secret and... ugh]that had white lace curtains with pink flowers, and the furniture made of oak [THE furniture made of oak? She has ALL of it? Must be a pretty big room.]. She lived with her muggle mother and pure-blood father, along with her older brother Anthony. Anthony was in his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Elliot was eleven and hadn't gotten her invitation to Hogwarts. Her long brown hair sat perfectly behind her shoulder [None on her head, just behind her shoulder]. "Elliot I'm sorry you haven't gotten your letter yet..." Anthony said entering the bedroom slowly. "Maybe I'm just not Hogwarts material.." Elliot murmured, Anthony sighed and ran his hand through his wavy brown hair "You've still got a whole week" he said.

"Hey... Elliot, Anthony come down for a minute" Elliot heard her mother call, "Hey maybe that's your Hogwarts invitation..." Anthony suggested pointing out the door "Doubt it..." [Yeah, Hogwards usually doesn't send prospective students a DOOR.]Elliot muttered before walking out the door and down the stairs. Anthony followed his sister down the stairs until they saw their father holding an envelope. Elliot stopped in her tracks "Is that my-", "Yes... I believe it is..." her father answered. Elliot skipped over and grabbed the envelope and read it out.[She can read letters just by analyzing the envelope? She IS a wizard!]

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms Phantom,[Phantom? PHANTOM!?!?!]

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

[blah, blah, copypasting blah]

Elliot's eyes filled with happiness [Sounds painful. They should definitely just be filled with vitreous humor.]; "Finally!" she squealed, "I wander what house you'll be sorted into... [Well, if she just sort of wanders into one I don't really see the point in speculating...]"Anthony said walking towards Elliot." Let's hope you get sorted into Griffindor like your father and Anthony" her mother said as she dried a plate.[She wasn't doing dishes or anything like that, she's just drying a plate.] "Maybe!" Elliot said rereading the letter over and over again. [Will we EVER see Elliot Phantom's family again? More importantly, would we remember them if we did?]

*Shudders*
The punctuation is alright, I guess (I have seem worse), but the...perfectness, for a lack of terminology, is horrible.
Since when do main characters become porcelain dolls?

Lessee here... typographical abominations;... sporadic bouts of description;... an orphaned punctuation mark or two;... bland characters who will likely become 100% irrelevant;... *gak*... *shudder*... PRINCESSES!;... and a significant... overpopulation... of... the common... ellipsis.


It's hard to tell from just one chapter, but I think we have a bit of a doozy on our hands.

Since we haven't met, have an Aboriginal blowgun for your housewarming gift- complete with cool feathered darts poisoned with the drool of winged kittens. I'm Len, by the way. Nice to meet you! :D

Welcome back! That is a most epic plug, and I'll try and do the concrit thing at some point.

I think I remember your name coming up, but we missed each other by a year or so. Either way - welcome back! Is very great to see you. ^^

Hi! I don't know you, having joined in oh, sometime around the middle of April, but welcome back anyways!

Say... can I have a link to your MSTs? They sound wonderful.

-Aila

Wow, it's great to see somebody older than me come back! I don't remember if we ever talked, but ten years ago I was a clueless newbie with grand ideas that never got off the ground, so it probably wouldn't have been very memorable. ^_^;

Welcome back! I hope we find you well, and vice versa. I've started reading the story, and I'll try to give some feedback tonight. {= )

~Neshomeh

Er, not that I'm one of those familiar names that Phobos mentioned, but I've been reading yours and AW's MSTs since...around the same time I discovered the PPC, so since at least five years ago. In other words, I flailed rather a lot upon reading your introduction. Welcome back!

Also, Canada. CANADA. I live there. This should be fascinating...

And, before I head off, have some Swiss Bleepolate and Gummyblee Cheeses as a welcome back gift!

~DF

Hi, Drew. We've never met, what with you disappearing 5-ish years before I got here. It is a pleasure to meet you, and I am glad that you are not only not dead, but also getting back to some unfinished projects. Both of those are generally considered to be good things. Someone is bound to be interested in your story, and feedback is almost guaranteed once you have their interest.

Please accept this bag of multi-faceted random number generators as a return gift. I'm sure some of the names you recognize will be along shortly.

-Phobos

Sorry, but everybody was whispering, so I just had to do that.

Welcome back to everybody here who is whispering about their return. If you all whisper, nobody will notice you! But here I am yelling, so I hope that helps with the problem.

I hope you weren't being quiet for a reason, like trying to convince the Weeping Angels that you can see them when you can't.

This post is filled with so many awkward sentences.

Hey, you are alive! That is very good. So how have you been?

I'm alive and kicking too, just recovering from getting my wisdom teeth out. Bleh.

I'm still among the living. And (insert adjective with positive connotations).

*whispers* Me too. And I'm awesome. And also extremely humble too.

Unfortunately, your request does not meet PPC standards for badfic. We apologize for the inconvenience and misunderstanding.

OK, let me explain what I mean. As the head of the All Purpose My Little Pony division (with a grand total of zero missions...currently) and hardcore brony, I feel properly qualified to say that this is not badfic.

For the amount of canon it breaks: Not much. So the main character is practically the definition of angst. So Rainbow Dash is dragged into the human world with the rest of the six in tow a mere 16 years later. So what if this is blatant wish fulfillment. The character of Rainbow Dash is, relatively, kept in character. In fact, the dad makes a point to make sure she has all the skills she had from the show, as well as the personality. She has one or two moments that are questionable for Rainbow, though not wholly improbable. Add in that the main character seems to experience some growth through this story, and while is whinier than most people I know, he seems a relatively innocent character. Stu he aint. This story just does not commit enough crimes against canon to warrant a mission. Sorry.

From what I can see the only real problem would have to be the borderline Angsty stu human who's life outlook changes when he raises a surrgoate daughter figure. But then agian this is common in canon meida if you don't belive me watch "Man on fire" or play "The Last of Us." I say borderline because while he did teach Rainbow to be Rainbow he didn't do the excpted stu thing and go on a roaring rampage and beat up the other mane 5 and Celstia. A heartwarming story and a possible agent material for a FiM divsion if there is one

It's been a while since I read The Dark is Rising, but I can probably remember enough. I'm assuming you're using the Tenth Doctor?

hS

I was going to mail Data Junkie a thing to give you while you were there, but I lost his address and then forgot. Ah well - I'll just have to hunt you down and get yours in the IRC.

(Somewhat obviously), I am not at Dragon*con this year, but I hope you are having an awesome time, and if you wind up taking pictures of the DoomSprout and related cosplays, it would be very very awesome to see. Have fun!