Aug 2013 Archive, part b

I'll just refer you to the post where somebody randomly turned up and announced they'd made it without asking first, and you can see the lukewarm response for yourself.

~Neshomeh

The only one I can recall seeing, outside of the Original Series, comes from this mission - where I believe it was eventually rescued and brought back to HQ, although I have no idea what happened to it after that.

I don't think your questions have ever been addressed in any missions so far, so this is all guesswork, but I imagine that they'd be generally similar to minis (seeing as they are also created by spelling mistakes). So they might be partial to eating bacon, raw eggs and fangirls, and can probably be trained by anyone with sufficient patience to do so. As for whether or not they can breed, I'd be tempted to say no, that they can only come from the appropriate spelling mistake, but I don't see any reason why they couldn't if you thought it was funnier that way.

I was just wondering how your writing was going? I don't seem to have received anything yet, and I just wanted to make sure that it hadn't ended up in my junk folder or something.

Email is sur DOT nhm AT gmail DOT com.

My e-mail address is samurai_ireland@hotmail.com - feel free to send it through whenever you've got it finished.

"The Ravaged Obsession" seems fairly straightforward, at least.


Also, "Door in the Servant" is simply...creepy. In a disgusting fashion.

Like "Heat of Ice". Uh, sure...

The only one I really like that I got is 'the Witch's Servants'...

I'll try and write up a thing

After using the title generator, I wrote the following on the spot. This is my first time using google documents.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vBwqQVC5kGIMZXTOvtQFJ48NYOgTIgCuPbzI-Hi774 mobile basic

...there's a whole website full of them, and they all range from generic, but cool to not so generic, but in no way serious.

Have some: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/

I think you've definitely succeeded in making Sebak your own, starting with bringing some resolution to the events of his original appearance, then establishing his relationship with Tish, and finally giving him some depth with the dream sequence backstory. Very well done. I like him and Tish, and I look forward to their future stories. ^_^

I'm not quite sure why you made this three stories instead of one—the events seem to be directly and linearly connected to each other—but then, if it were just one continuous story you couldn't do the cool ABC titles. I notice that your blog gives page numbers, though; each part gives "Page 1 of 1." I don't know anything about Tumblr, but perhaps you could make it so it's possible to navigate to each part directly, Page 1, Page 2, Page 3?

The only critiques I have are 1) my on-going crusade to see titles of long works properly italicized, and 2) I noticed several parenthetical remarks that probably don't need to be parenthetical.

A rule of thumb I was taught about parentheses is that if the information enclosed is important enough to include, it shouldn't need parentheses; if it isn't important, it shouldn't be there at all. This doesn't apply to any and all cases in which parentheses might hypothetically be involved, of course, but it's worthwhile to ask yourself why you feel something is a parenthetical remark and not a regular part of the narrative—does it need to be there, or not?

By the way, you mentioned RP. This should totally happen. Have I pointed out the Dreamwidth RP comm lately? I'd love to see it get some use.

~Neshomeh

In the first story "He walked briskly over to the console and started tapping at it is as if he was searching for something."

I'm not a native speaker, but I think "is" should not be there.

I like these two. Especially Sebak cheating the Ironic Overpower to let his partner rest.

Hieronymus (talking out of order again).

I love both of the characters already! Their interactions are really cool.

Can't wait to see them on a mission.

I know, it's a late response. Sorry. Have this gold medal for being able to write English better than most Americans as a newbie gift!

-- Len

...But welcome anyways!

You say that English isn't your first language, but you do write pretty well in it, grammar being the only thing that could use a touch up as far as I can see.

Anyhoo, have a fluffy velociraptor, and please, stay around for a while!

Greetings properly, newbie of the impressive intro post to be showered with gifts! Here is you own Infinite Notebook, lined, with urple covers and wilver binding. I find it necessary to warn to not to look at it.

-Aila

Hi, I'm Autumn, it's nice to meet you. Not a native English speaker? Me too! *slaps you on the back* My native language's actually Chinese, but I just happen to be fluent in English. *shrugs* Anyway, here is a wilver knife! Use it only in times of...just use it anytime you like. Except to kill innocent people. All of your questions will be answered eventually. I hope to see you joining in our lively discussions often.

Nice to be able to welcome you to the PPC! As someone else has already said, that is a quite substantial first post there; it's good to see that someone is willing to introduce themselves well.

As for your gift...
*rummages through bag of holding*
Here you go: Have a snowglobe of Hogsmeade!

And BTW, thanks for asking about updating the List of PPC Fiction. I have run across a few spinoffs that were not linked to the List (though were linked to their agents' profiles). If I run cross them again, now I know that I can fix the oversight!

--sonofheaven176, Esq., 25

I've seen you post comments from time to time, so it's nice to finally be able to give you a warm welcome.

Don't worry too much about age issues: the age range around here is pretty wide, and we all still get along rather splendidly, so you shouldn't be that badly off.

As a welcome gift, I'll go ahead and give you some Messiaen for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PjyCpRKDrk

hS beat me to the punch, so I'll just fill in my two cents regarding the (In)Complete List:

Araeph is still around sometimes, but busy with Real Life type stuff. You could definitely ask her how she feels about striking that line from the wiki article.

As for adding other people's spin-offs to the wiki, in general I'd say go for it. The only caveat is that if they themselves don't have Permission (or if they shouldn't have Permission), their spin-off(s) probably shouldn't be added. I've noticed one or two dubious-looking spin-offs recently, while trawling through fanfiction.net looking for the history of the Department of Floaters. One guy, name of Who's Asking, claims that he got Permission, but has a line in his bio stating that "Yaoi is shit, 100 of the time" is an "undeniable truth," and some other unsavory things, so... ick. We might want to put up something to the effect that we don't condone that sort of thing, a la Gabriella and her cohorts (see Out of Continuity), but beyond that, I think I speak for all of us when I say Do Not Want.

Maybe undocumented spin-offs should be brought up with the Board before they get added?

I think the line about Permission is just supposed to apply to adding/updating your own stuff. If you don't have Permission, you shouldn't be updating your mission count or adding a new spin-off, because you shouldn't have one in the first place.

Oh, and definitely make a page for yourself, especially if you plan to join the Grand Editing Cabal. ... Okay, there is no Grand Editing Cabal. But there could be. >.> Anyway, help is always appreciated, especially with an attentive eye like yours. {= )

~Neshomeh, who is 28 and married to fellow-Boarder Phobos, for what it's worth.

Greetings, new friend! Have the One Spatula to Flip Them All!

As to the "Permission for editing the Complete List" thing, I'm pretty sure that sentence intended to say "Don't add your stories here unless you have permissions o have written them. Although I'm not 100% certain.

Personally, I would prefer for people to add missing spin-offs when they find them. Too many older stories have gone missing as it is!

Or, er, hello again! And Welcome Officially A'Board!

That is... one heck of an intro post. I'm seriously impressed. And since I'm here, I'll answer/respond to some of your points.

-Anyone who has even watched and enjoyed the Lord of the Rings movies can call themselves a fan. My wife has never read the Silmarillion, but try telling her she's not a fan! It's great fun to learn the languages and read the Histories (I've done both), but it's not required.

-Good fanfic is fun to read too! Good fanfic should expand on the original, not damage it. A good example for a Middle-earth fan is The Leithian Script, which is a dramatic telling of the story of Beren and Luthien. It's incredibly long, and it has shaped a lot of my perception of Valinor and Beleriand, in ways which Tolkien didn't give us a lot to go on.

-I hadn't actually realised that you were working in a foreign language. As far as I can tell, nothing you've said has given the wrong impression - so well done.

-I'm not actually sure what the average age is on the Board any more. It used to be around fourteen, but while there's still some people around that young (and occasionally younger!) a lot of us are up in our twenties now. I believe in the past we've had people on here who are grandparents - there's no age limits, believe me.

-While it used to be the case that most Boarders were female (I remember when there were... lessee, AW, Dann, Leto, Elcalion, me... about five males, total, in the PPC), I think the split is a lot more equal these days.

-The grey links: the way those work is that everything posted in the last day on a thread older than 24 hours will be grey. So a new thread will have no grey replies for a full day, but after that, each reply will stay grey for 24 hours. It's quite useful on a slowish Board like this one - you can skim the front page once a day and see exactly what's new.

-Araeph is still around sometimes. I'm not actually sure if she's updating the Complete List, though.

-The wiki version ought to be up to date at all times (even though it isn't). I think this is more a question for Unofficial Wiki Queen Neshomeh, but as far as I'm aware, if you find something that's not on there, you can add it. I don't know about it requiring Permission - it might be a quality control measure, or it might simply be a leftover bit of text from some earlier version.

-Your punishment question: this is really two questions, which I'll answer separately.

--How would this be written? Most of the time, it wouldn't be. If a PPC writer thinks something is 'canonical enough' that they don't write a charge for it, they probably won't write the Flowers telling their agents off. Equally, in cases where the agents specifically say 'well, it's a breach, but I prefer it', there won't be any consequences simply because the author doesn't create them.

--How would this in theory work? Well, assuming the Flowers became aware of it, I doubt they'd care. The charge list is a means to an end - it's a way of checking that the character being killed/story being sporked is actually bad. Leaving off a charge but still killing the story has no effect - and, as recently discussed, there's more to a Mary Sue than merely breaking canon. A well-written story which just disagrees with some aspects of canon is an AU.

But imagining a story which is clearly, say, the business of the Department of Implausible AUs, only the agent decides they prefer it that way and lets the story keep on existing - then, the Flowers might have something to say. What it is would depend on, as ever, what's funnier - a hardline Flower, or one who says Yes, agent, I actually agree with you on that score - but I still have to punish you.

-Elvish reincarnation: there's actually a fair number of sources for this one. Obviously Luthien is in the Silm, but so is Finrod (after his death scene, we read that he was restored to life and now lives with his father). I don't remember how much of the story of Finwe and Miriel ended up in the Silmarillion, but the reason Finwe was allowed to remarry is that Miriel declared that she would never return to life.

There is more on this subject - a lot more - in the Histories, which basically contain most of Tolkien's working notes and essays. He played around with two ideas: reincarnation along the Luthien lines, where the spirit is given a new body modelled after the old, and rebirth, where they are born to new parents, and eventually regain their memories. I think he eventually settled on the former.

Somewhere - I don't remember where - the idea comes along that the rebellious elves - that is, the Noldor who went into exile, and possibly the Sindar, Nandor, Avari and other elves who either gave up on the March or never joined it, and thus never reached Valinor - wouldn't be allowed to leave the Halls of Mandos for a very long time. Finrod is the canonical exception to this, but in general, the idea that they could just pop straight back out is a false one.

That said, the idea fits very well in Middle-earth. Men are mortal, and their spirits pass beyond the world when the die. Elves are immortal, but their spirits are bound to the world. They don't have an 'elsewhere' to go to - this world is all they get. But they are immortal in the lifetime of the world; why shouldn't they be reembodied so they can continue that life? Particularly in pre-Rebellion Valinor, when the only cause of death was accidents (it doesn't seem to have ever happened, but the possibility was always there).

-I believe Tolkien's final decision was that there was only one Glorfindel. That's in the Histories, too.

hS

Welcome to the PPC! Here, have this tie-dyed Watusi skull as a housewarming gift. Yes, its eyes and following you. No, I don't have the slightest inkling of why it has eyes.

-- Len

Have some virtual kek batik, a recent craze in Malaysia. It's rather expensive, but beautiful and delicious. Try not to choke over it.

Any fandoms of interest?

Hello, newbie! Welcome to the PPC!

Another Trekkie, eh? (Where are the Voyager fans?!)

Your gift from me is:
*rummages through Pokemon-verse bag of holding*
Aha!
A replica of the Enterprise-D. Enjoy!

Please accept my gift. It's an "Stop Comma Abuse!" bumper sticker.

Greetings, new friend! Have an Arwing shield!

Since you are interested in writing PPC stories, allow me to link you to the Wiki article on Permission (http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission) as well as our general FAQ list for new folks (http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ%3A_For_Newbies)

Enjoy reading!

A Trekkie! Wonderful! Which series is the focus of your fandom? I like TNG best personally, though I love DS9 and Voyager. And TOS and Reboot. If it's Star Trek...

Anyhow, have a tribble. Hope you enjoy yourself here!

Nice to have another Trekkie aboard! In honour of that, have a domesticated sehlat! Very loyal! Just, um, remember to feed it on time, ok?

Anyway, have you read TOS? The Original Series of the PPC, featuring Jay and Acacia, is basically our canon.

Hi there! I'm Kittythekatty. I'm pretty new myself. We newbies gottavstick together. Here, have a potato. It's got plenty of potassium and is great for throwing.
So, do you have any fandoms?

Welcome to the PPC. Here, have this... uh... have this needlepoint shower mat depicting a Picasso-style portrait of George Clooney's face. Gift-giving is not among my talents, unfortunately. Again, welcome!

-- Len

Oh, another one? Goody goody! Here, take this magical urple box. It has an Engorgement Charm placed on it. For your permission request, you do have to be quite active on the Board to get Permission. Also, you might want to stick around for at least half a year to get us to know you. Since I'm quite new (I joined just a week ago), you can also choose to take advice from oldbies. Have fun here!

Autumn

i forgot something, im interested mostly on MLP because it has nasty stuff i want to reverse, but I'm also generally open to any fandom i can help return to normal, i want to try and save as many characters as possible

A while back I started, and nearly finished, a short interlude based on the 'what would your agents do in a Disney-related theme park' thread...which could easily take place in New Caledonia, if people agree to placing a Disney-themed amusement park somewhere in there or nearby. Not sure how much it would be related to this RP, but...it could help with the world-building? And I could perhaps finish it by having the main agents I'm using in it heading over to a restaurant of some sort or wandering around the city...

In fact, what if there was a permanent portal set up somewhere in the city that leads to a sort of generic Disneyworld/Disneyland? Anyone mind if I put that in? It would certainly explain what all the agents were doing there...

~DF

Oooh! Sounds fun!

A day off is something not often seen, so Des and Anebrin would definitely be excited. Plus, I could use that as Interlude material.

So begins my agents' quest for more coffee.

But, to help out anyone who does, I thought I'd throw you a list of the key references to New Cal. By 'key' I mean the ones that tell you the most - if a ref only mentions something in passing which is more fully described elsewhere, I'll give the second.

This is also a good opportunity to pull all the information together for the purposes of adding references to the Wiki article...

*The Wiki itself. This gives a good overview of most things.

*Fallen Feathers: Nita. About halfway down we get this:

She found herself the Rue Jay Thorntree, the main street of the New Caledonia, scowling at the sunlight as if it had offended her. Around her was a variety of hustle, bustle [...] she leant against the wall of the entrance to HQ (a building known, through the magic of PPC multilingual humour, as The Appetiser)...

There's also a mention of Club Aujourd'hui ("What do you do there?" "Mostly alcohol.") at the very end.

*PPC: Flight of Swans. The second and fourth sub-stories are set in New Cal. The first only tells us that Agent Monty's pond is there. The second gives us a decent description of the Musée des Univers Perdus:

Agent Penny was wandering through the streets of the PPC’s city in New Caledonia, just passing the time, really, when she heard an unusually loud voice. Screaming voices weren’t actually that uncommon around the PPC - the insanity levels were even higher than in Penny’s home city of Ankh-Morpork - but the content here wasn’t the usual obscenities.

“... the Doctor’s favourite book growing up! And oh, what’s this? It turns out it was the Racnoss! Oh, did I ruin that for you? Let’s get another one... the Lost Road Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien! Forgotten when the Professor died, leaving it unwritten. And on the last page... well, fancy that. It seems Earendil was-”

Penny emerged into the plaza before the Musée des Univers Perdus, took in the crowd of agents and associates gathered in front of it, and then her gaze joined with theirs and tracked up to the blue-skinned woman standing on the roof of the Musée.

“... now this is rumoured to have been Cicero’s favourite book. Let’s see... oh, a murder mystery! And, would you credit it, it was her slave who did it? What is the world coming to?”

[...]

“Looks like they’re making another go of it,” she said. A handful of black-clad figures were sneaking across the [roof] tiles towards Starwind [...]

"[...]is there a back way into the Musée?”

“This is the PPC city,” she pointed out. “There’s back ways into everything...”

As for the original description of the Musée, that comes from here:

Dustin and Five were leaving the Musée des Univers Perdus, a museum of continua lost when the civilizations they were written in had fallen. (Works from the Roman Empire stood side by side with folktales from Sernpidal and Time Lord novels in its library and its bookstore.)

That same link notes that the pond is 'on the other side of town' from the Musee.

*This, this and this all mention the Tour Prend Pion pawnshop. The second establishes that it's possible to park a TARDIS opposite it, but to be honest I think Tawaki's agents just parked them wherever they chose. That link does also note that the TARDIS dock (singular) was newly-opened at that point.

The third link provides an address for Tour Prend Pion: 104 Rue Fait-des-Choses du Nord (ie, it's on the northern half of 'Makes-Things Road'). It also provides us with 'the corner of the Rue Dafydd Illian and the Rue Imbolc Telyan, by the hospital', which I guess is a local section of Medical (and maybe FicPsych?). It also gives us this:

Tawaki walked down the Rue des Fleurs, trying hard to resist the urge to ignore his destination. That works in PPC HQ, but not on Earth. Besides, the city is so regularly laid-out that getting lost is well nigh impossible, unless you happen to be looking for a strange TARDIS. Tawaki was looking for a familiar one. He reached the corner of the Rue des Fleurs and the Rue Imbolc Telyan and turned left. It was another two blocks to the Rue Jay Thorntree.

Which both points out that navigation is different there, and gives a hint of a map. And then there's this:

Eclectica read the message. “'Tadkeeta, and Tawaki if you are with her, report to the field just south of the cemetery hill at once. Signed, the Yertis, Deputy Head of the Department of Internal Affairs.'” So saying, she moved the TARDIS to the hill. Tawaki and Tadkeeta left the TARDIS, which had become a large headstone with the inscription:

“SACRÉE À LA MÉMOIRE DE
“FAIT-DES-CHOSES
“NÉ 30 JUIN 1954
“MORT 13 MARS 2008
“LOIN EN AVANT
“LA ROUTE EST PARVENUE”

In fact, it was a perfect replica of Makes-Things' memorial stone. However, it was at the base of the cliff, while Makes-Things' stone was on top of the hill.

[...]

They entered the farmhouse and met Agents Honesah and Ontic from the mirror multiverse, with the Yertis, the Corkscrew Cattail, and Captain Dandy.

That gives the general layout of the cemetary area, and also provides the farmhouse, which is either a safehouse for Honesah and mirror!Ontic, or the New Cal DIA headquarters.

*This provides us the following:

And it is not in the TARDIS dock, but at the corner of the Rue Jay Thorntree and the Rue Ella Darcy.”

“Down by the park where Misplaced Flora and Fauna found those feral squees?”.

“Yes.”

Ten minutes later, they arrived at said park, and Dustin flew low enough to drop her safely. He then alighted by a brook.

*This might imply that there's a Nursery in New Cal. It's sort of unclear.

*This provides us a look inside Big Murphy's store:

“Right you are,” Big Murphy replied, leaning over the store counter. “Agent Marcus Langston brought the set to me - Department of Floaters, like you two. [...] I took one out back and tried running it over with a truck. Didn’t even scratch the finish.” He smiled broadly. “Of course, that means they don’t come cheap…”

It also notes that 'Several minutes later, both agents were walking down a surprisingly crowded hallway in HQ', which suggests Big Murphy's store is fairly close to the door back inside.

*By 2024, the City will have agents living in it with their children.

I would definitely read that.

I really look forward to reading it. You have my full support!

I've been thinking about trying this for PPC Emergencies, but then, you're a part-time cartoonist, so you'd be much better at this sort of thing.

Have fun with it!

I look forward to seeing it.

Hi gus 'n' girls. Got a bit of news!
First, my website is up. It hasn't got anything on it yet but I will do it when I'm done. It's at
www.misseden.blogspot.com
and I'm working on character sketches. I'm doin Acacia, and hacve alredy completed the sunflower official.
...just wanted to share. I'm usually on the IRC between 8.15 - 8.45pm, Aussie time. Perth if you wre wondering.

Besides, it might actually be an interesting way to get some of the newbies who're interested in writing missions at some point to get into the Original Series. What better way than to put it in picture form, amirite?

I'm totally up for this. I can't wait to see what you do with this!

... I'll get it on record that I wouldn't see that as copying.

I will second what Neshomeh said though - that's a lot of work you're lining yourself up for.

Also, it might be a good idea to run your ideas (if not your sketches) past someone who's been here a while - just to catch any crazy mistakes. I'm sure we've had people before who think the Sunflower Official is human...

hS

Good luck!

Really ambitious—seems like it would be a lot of work—but I'd personally love to see a graphic-novel version of the Original Series. I hope you like drawing Uruk-hai. J & A spend most of their time in that disguise, at least in the early missions.

To get to the point, though, I don't actually know if this is something that requires Permission, per se, though asking on the Board first was definitely the right move. I'd personally class a project like this as fan art, which shouldn't be a problem, but I think you should wait for some more responses to see how people feel in general.

Also, could we see a sample of your work? Do you have a deviantART account or something?

~Neshomeh

Is permission required for this. It is a RP, but it is also worldbuilding.

Day-offs were a rare occurrence for the many agents of the PPC. In fact, there were many who had never been fortunate enough to take a day-off; Joseph and Andrew were in this group of unfortunates, which was why they had instantly pounced on the opportunity to get some sunshine the very moment the scheduling accident had occurred.

"I like this coffee shop," said Andrew happily, leaning back into his chair with a content sigh. "Their stuff is brilliant."

Joseph nodded. "It is of better quality than what we usually consume."

The duo had immediately made a break for the coffee shop upon leaving the headquarters, and had been sitting within the shop for hours, basking in the aroma and enjoying the rich flavour of their drinks. It had been a long time since they had drank anything that wasn't instant coffee, and they wanted to savour the drinks for as long as possible.

"Man, I wish we could have a door to our RC from here," continued Andrew, who paused and quickly turned to the waiter nearby, handing over a tip. "Ton café est délicieux. Je le adore."

As the waiter left, the red-headed agent turned back to see his partner watching his face with a rather curious expression.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

"Je l'adore."

Andrew blinked in confusion, before letting out a quiet chuckle. "Heh, forgot about that. Man, the thing I get wrong in French is something really obvious."

"You usually make obvious mistakes," replied Joseph, the dark-haired agent lifting up his mug to his lips."

Peaceful silence followed, only regularly broken by Andrew's content sighs. The two agents were not too interested in talking, preferring to enjoy their drinks to the best of their ability, an act that the atmosphere of the cafe seemed to promote.

The wooden tables and chairs, open windows and natural lighting ... it all added to the cosy feeling.

"Hey Joseph, could you note the address in case we need to find this place again?" asked Andrew, interrupting the silence.

Joseph nodded, pulling out his notebook and jotting down the location of the cafe: 21 Avenue Soeur Jeanne.

With this interruption out of the way, their peaceful day continued, hopefully without coming across any problems that would befall them.

...

Who are we kidding?

I'm thinking about participating, but the last RP I dipped my toes into went spectacularly off the rails, and I'm not keen for a repeat experience. Plus, at least one person I'm aware of who might be interested has never RPed before. For all our sakes, please lay out some guidelines for how this is to proceed. {= )

~Neshomeh, who prefers her RPs heavy on cooperative character interaction, light on random shenanigans and aimless mischief.

"A day off? A day off!" cried Eagrus when Cyba brought him the news. It was such unusual and such good news that he momentarily ignored the fact Cyba had also brought Sigma and Phi along to the RC door.

"No joke," Phi chimed in. "Some kind of bizarre scheduling accident, apparently. Oh, sorry, Joke!" she added quickly, when the mini-Colossus bleeped indignantly at her.

Eagrus sat down loudly, stunned. This was not something that had happened - well - ever, in his experience. "Come!" he said. "We should make the most of this, and I know just the place!"

The door was easy enough to find, given that Eagrus knew how to distract himself, and the other three had no idea where he was leading them anyway. It looked ordinary enough, but when they stepped through, it became immediately apparent that they were no longer in HQ.

The four of them found themselves in the hall of a building, which housed 'doors' to the PPC General Store and various OFU Staff Sections as well as to HQ. The only other door led out onto a street lit by blazing sunshine.

"Where are we?" asked Cyba when they stepped out, squinting until her eyes adapted to the bright sunlight.

"Welcome," announced Eagrus, "to the PPC city of New Caledonia!"

"Is this... World One?" inquired Phi.

"Indeed it is!" Eagrus told the happily. "It's not exactly Middle Earth, but I've heard it is quite a nice place nonetheless."

"What about disguises?" wondered Phi aloud, noticing that she, Sigma and Cyba were still plated in black metal (Sigma appeared to have polished hers), and Eagrus was in his Easterling armour.

"It's a PPC city," Eagrus answered. "I believe we can walk freely here, undisguised."

Sigma, meanwhile, who had said nothing until now, suddenly crowed from by the map she had discovered across the street. The others turned, startled, and unable to quite make what she had said, and Eagrus ducked into the doorway behind him in case of attack.

"WOOT! They have a THEME PARK here!" crowed Sigma again, slightly more discernably this time.

Eagrus breathed a sigh of relief that there was no attack going on, but face-helmeted all the same. "I'm for finding somewhere to get my hair shaved," he said finally. "There's no way I am going anywhere near a theme park with any of you three ever again, and most especially not any roller-coasters!"

"It's multiversally themed!" protested Sigma, and Cyba and Phi joined her by the map board eagerly.

"Ooooh!" squawked Cyba, noticing something else. "There's a shopping district! I wonder if they have an armour shop..."

Eagrus groaned audibly, and Phi thought she caught a quite mutter of 'Women!'.

"They might have a sword shop," Phi pointed out, making Eagrus perk up immediately. "I mean, probably only replicas, given this is World One, but..."

"Alright," Eagrus relented. "I will consent to come and visit this shopping district with you, but then I am going to get a haircut!"

"And we shall go on roller coasters all day!" proclaimed Sigma, getting cheers from Cyba and Phi.

Eagrus smiled beneath his helmet. If they were off on roller-coasters, then he might just get a holiday from the Collective of Three...

(I really hope the Princess Bride reference was an intentional one, otherwise my subject line is going to make no sense whatsoever)

As it happens, there's a chance that I'd be able to attend. I don't think I could afford the flights over myself, but the company I work for does a lot of business in the states, so they send people over quite regularly. I know there are already a couple of projects they're talking about sending people over for in January/February time. I'll have to see if I can get myself assigned to an early Feb one, and then I might be able to visit the Con around work.

Aww, that sounds really fun! Wish I could go

It would've been my tenth mission with my Floaters RC.

The problem is... I just couldn't make it funny. The only things that're really objectively horrible about this fic are Big Mac's OOCness and the fact that it's just so wrong. Just those two things alone aren't enough to justify a mission, and it's even harder to do it considering that some of the things there are kinda sick and it's hard to make comedy out of the subject matter involved without grossly trivializing it.

So... in my opinion, this is a mission-proof fic. I dunno...

I am impressed.

Since I've forgotten, is this NSFW/NSFB? If so, does the link only refer to the Know Your Meme page or the actual fic?

...but you could always browse through the Claimed Badfic and Killed Badfic lists to find out. The only problem I could see with sporking a fic that has become an example that way is that it has probably been MST'd so many times already that it wouldn't be anything new. Then again, that may not be the case with this fic. I'm speaking only from experiences in other fandoms.
But if it hasn't been claimed or killed already, you're up for that kind of challenge, and it hasn't already had all of the snarking potential sucked out of it by previous MSTers, I'd say go for it!

-- Len

If the Flowers allowed for sporkings based solely on uncanonical premises, then this would take the cake! Zuko/KATARA?! Really? Has the author even watched the series? That premise breaks two canon relationships: Aang/Katara and Zuko/Mai!

*deep breath*

OK. Rant over.

From the trope page, no less- http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/HowIBecameYours?from=Main.HowIBecameYours

Not sure how it'd be sporked in a mission, though, since it's a webcomic, but...

Have some aardvark jerky as your newbie gift. As was said by previous posters, though, you're going to need to go through a few steps before creating an agent and jumping right into the missions. :)

-- Len

We're all happy that we will have one more agent in the PPC, but you do have to take note of a couple of things. Please read hermione of vulcan's post, "ATTENTION NEWBIES"

While everyone does appreciate your enthusiasm, I suggest you read up on things before leaping in like I did, trust me...

I was going to state the issues with this entry post, but doctorlit already did that, and in a much more concise manner than I was going to, so I'll just say one thing about the long list of departments.

If you want to take on missions of all of those categories, we have a Department of Floaters for that, but if you want to specialize, you can only pick one. If you do want to run missions for Bad Roleplay or Despatch, then specializing in one of those two might be best out of the list, because we have had very few people over the years with an interest in those Departments, and it would be good to see them worked with again.
Actually, that might have been two things, depending on how one looks at it, but that's not important right now.

What do you mean by "his comic's canon", by the way? Is Kyo Osamu native to a pre-existing canon work, or migrate from a webcomic you contributed to, or something of the sort? That will need to be clarified if you want to write for him here.

Well, either way, welcome to the PPC! Have a box of Duplic-Os! The only cereal that reproduces by budding!

Now, I shall make like a Beverly Hillbilly and invite you to take your shoes off, and stay a while. Writing in the PPC universe that Jay and Acacia created requires permission from one of our longer-running members, but they don't give it to total strangers. This is a community, and we like to see new people stick around for at least a month or two before asking for permission. During that time, you should participate in discussion threads, writing games and other examples of "hanging out;" this lets the permission givers have a chance to get to know you and determine your writing ability.

More information can be found by reading these articles:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ%3A_For_Newbies

Additionally, I'd like to point out that PPC agents can only be assigned to one department at a time. Agents do, however, sometimes get assigned missions outside their department's ordinary purview, as punishment for screwing up, or simply because of that agent pair's areas of expertise.

I look forward to seeing you around, Kyo. Talk to you later!

Oh almost forgot.
He preferrably works in KH, Smash Bros, Pokemon, Sonic, Mario, and MLP:FIM ut he'll also do Touhou.

Well, I could be misremembering something there.

Everyone should read this and keep it in mind. Everyone.

-Aila

Thank you for the information! Although I already know most of these things from spending an hour and a half on reading the wiki and TOS, this will certainly come in useful in the future. I'm going to write it down! *grabs urple coloured pencil I received as a newbie gift*

It says "Attention Newbies!" in capslock, and two oldbies respond.

Hm.

As someone who was here for years and years (and years... and years...) and never once actually wrote for the PPC (but paradoxically was a permission giver...) I can vouch for the fact that you can have fun here without ever getting Permission. :P

I was just about to say something about concentrating badfic reports in one thread. And I DO want to emphasize that point. It's even mentioned in Rule 22 of the Constitution, which even new people should have read thoroughly before posting, so it's a bit irritating to see multiple people making that mistake.

If you haven't read the Constitution yet, or if you have and made that mistake anyway, please go read it. Multiple times, if that's what it takes. Understanding the Constitution is important.

Oh, and if you want to see if a badfic has been PPC'd yet, you could do worse than searching the list of Killed Badfic and/or the relevant continuum's article on the wiki. Collecting and organizing this kind of information is a big part of why we have a wiki. Take advantage of it!

~Neshomeh

I'm running out the door to catch a bus shortly, so I can't say more now or probably for a few days, but I wanted to make sure you knew at least that much. Oh, and I also picked up on the Canterbury Tales thing. {= )

~Neshomeh

This just makes the PPC and its mission seem so grand.

I love how the sort of vague meta-ness of the PPC - how plotholes can shape life, how the PPC is basically a Word World of its own - gets explored. I mean, I knew those things, but I never quite looked it in the eye, so to speak. Makes you think about existence itself. Maybe World One is a Word World somewhere, and to change the world all we need to do is find the right pen and paper...

Also, Makes-Things is awesome. And the Flowers actually seem sympathetic. While their hatred of agents is entertaining, it's not the same as getting this character development.

And Anya and Elisabeth - what happened after? Are they still alive? If not, did they die in the line of duty?

Now I'm going to go off and read all of the other PPC histories. Look what you made me do, hS! :)

A lot of the scenes here are absolute home-runs. I especially love Makes-Things' dialogue and behavior around the flowers, the first agents' recruitment, and all the explanation for plotholes given. I love the development of the term "Merry Pseudo" and the very first Mary Sue ever encountered by the PPC. ("Don't worry. This is for my own good," is beyond a doubt the PERFECT expression of the attitudes of Sues as we define them.)

The only discrepancy I see is that you refer to the Floating Hyacinth with "he," but I was under the impression it was female. Then again, being a Flower, maybe it's both?

Also, I recall once reading about the crew of the ship that brought the seeds to Origin in the first place. I can't seem to find that story now; is that still available? Or was that by another author?

(and I'll probably get around to reading the rest of your history stuff at some point, now that I've been drawn in by this.)

I was wondering about the chapter titles, which appear to be somewhat inspired by the Canterbury Tales. I'm pretty sure that was deliberate, so I just wanted to ask how close the correspondences were, having not read Canterbury myself.

In the Big Thorn's Tale, you have him say, we Firstborn shared our knowledge and built on in before you ever awoke. I believe you meant to say built on it.

Hm, now I have something to read. But a preemptive congratulations and good job to you!

*opens the document*

ACK! Oh my God, what kind of wall of text is this!? And there are numerous walls of text!?

*reads on*

Wait... Prince Peasley acting OOC... quest that might be kinda serious... and what in the world does this have to do with the Mario and Luigi saga, anyway?

*reads on*

Hm... The main character might be Stu-ish, but... huh, his romance with Prince Peasley is actually not horribly written.

*looks up*

Well, I can certainly see some of the red flags for badfic. There are plenty of walls of text, and there doesn't seem to be much that connects it thematically to the Mario canon. Also, there's a lack of thematic cohesion, and the same characters tend to have the same dialogue, and the proceedings do go a little too slowly.

BUT, it's not really badfic. I say that, 'cause the central relationship between the two main characters isn't horribly written (even if it is a bit too sappy), and also because the prose isn't horrible. It's got some bad things in it, but it's more "it needs another draft and it'll be good" bad and less "OMG this is badfic" bad.

I dunno. You know how it is.

Hmm, seems like a very 'Sue-ish 'Sue. Good find! I agree with Ellipsis Flood though. You do have to check the wiki. First of all, you'd have to ensure that this fic is not recorded in the Unclaimed Badfics list or the Claimed Badfics list or the Killed Badfic list. If it isn't, make sure it's recorded in the 'Unclaimed' list and claim it. Then, look up 'Permission' at the wiki. I'm sure you'd know what to do from there.

I'm mostly referring to this post.

It's great to know that there are people this dedicated to the PPC, between these and the Origins story.

-- Len

.. how aggressive/confrontational my previous subject line sounds without any context - that wasn't my intention at all, probably should've stuck a smiley face after or something.

It was a favourite phrase of my maths lecturer at uni (as well as being a famous quote in ts own right, I believe), so I tend to think of it whenever I'm presented with a load of graphs and stuff.

I hope I didn't offend you with it, my apologies if I did.

Out of interest, you've listed the top ten posters, but what number of posts was required to get into the top ten?

Once again, some interesting data you've collected. I'm not sure quite why, but I think that the 'Unique IPs per Day' graph has a very pleasing shape to it.

Of course, when discussing data trends and what they mean, it would be remiss of me not to mention this graph, which clearly shows the correlation between the number of pirates worldwide and global warming. Actually, the stuff you're talking about probably does have clear links, I just think it's an amusing graph and wanted to share it.

I think that little blip at March 2012 on the 'Current Boarders' graph is me :)

I wasn't around wayback when, so I can't claim any knowledge of those times, but a couple of ideas spring to mind that might explain the declining threads trend:
1) Were there just more Boarders around back then? If the community itself was larger, then it'd make sense that more new threads were being posted each day.
2) On a slightly more tenous note, this post indicates that the IRC was set up in 2006. Is it possible that back in 2004 there was more general chatting going on on the Board itself, as there wasn't anywhere else for that to be done, and that now that's mostly moved off? This is possibly supported by a few of the 2004 posts specifically noting that they are Off Topic.

Also, while the number of new threads may have dropped from 2004, several of those threads only had one or two replies, and there are a couple that didn't generate any. While we may be having fewer distinct conversations than before, it looks like the conversations that we are having are more active. It's difficult to tell, because they represent different time periods, but at first glance the current front page looks more active (in terms of general posting activity, rather than just specifically how many new threads are created per day) than that 2004 one - to me, at least.

I'm always one of the top posters. Fascinating.

Also, in less than two months I'll have been here for a year. I'm having trouble believing that.

Wow, what an honour. And I only joined...nine days ago? I feel like the luckiest newbie on the Board.

Wow! I'm one of the top ten?! I barely have anything to say! Talk about little things adding up.

I bet that's just because of my intro post and insistent thanking.

These are really cool! It must have been some work, though.

Top ten posters. Apparently I have more to say than I think I have. Also, October '11? I'm nearly two years around, and that makes me feel old...
-Opens a bottle of Choya Umeshu-
Kanpai, everyone.

Unfortunetly, it's a Sue, um, *Sues*-fic. Here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7720425/1/Make-Me-Stronger

Brace yourselves, this is going to be a bit of a headache.

I don't think we've met. Here, have an auricupide sculpture of an elephant shrew. :D

-- Len

Welcome back to the Board! If you think you've never seen me before, it's because I only joined a week ago. Anyway, have this urple punching bag. You can use it if you want to release stress or something.

Welcome back to the PPC! It's great to have new oldbies back! So come on in, and you should already know to take your shoes off and have fun.

Here: as a welcome gift, I give you this piano concerto by Ligeti: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfP3XlufCuQ

Or just hello, as if you haven't been here for years, I certainly never would've met you.

I absolutely adore Doctor Who, but am probably more into Star Trek at this stage. Either way, sci-fi and fantasy are what keep me going.

Also, if you like deconstruction fics, may I suggest Puella Magi Madoka Magica? Brilliantly done deconstruction of the Magical Girl genre.

For a gift, I give you... um, a mini-Pandorica. Excellent for safe-keeping.

I like to do world-building stories and slice of life. Haven't written recently though. I'm considering putting up a free-use chacracter in PPCverse, but I'm researching.

I am now more on anime, such as Blade of the Immortal, Full Metal Panic, Ghost in the Shell, and a few other animes. I have no love for Doctor Who, sorry.

As a gift, I have an advise for you. Humour can also be gained by stating the obvious in another light. Such as:

"Switching on the light? What do I have to switch to that is also on the light?" Oh forget it, I'm not good at this.

1) I don’t know Nikki’s world of origin and the character she is based on, so if the reason should be found there, I wouldn’t know. I can only go by what she spelled out: “his determination about saving as many innocent people as he can” is lovable, isn’t it?

2) I may need to reread the series (it’s not one of my favorites, because I’m only vaguely aware of most of the word worlds involved, so I don’t have vivid memories), but I seem to remember that Sergio’s past is mostly unknown or he told contradictory stories about it, not to mention the newest trailer. Sergio may have been involved in a war or warlike situation, like a secret service operation? Innocents were killed, specifically a young girl? Did Sergio do it? Couldn’t he prevent it to happen? Should she not have been there in the first place, and it was his fault that she was there? Yeah, this last one sounds most probable.

3) Is it annoying? I wouldn’t say I’m eager to find out what it’s all about, because I’m not really invested in Sergio’s story. But if I get the chance and have the time, I may give it a shot.

Now to me being annoying, although I’m not overly confident that my grammar is right:

He was like one one of those hot-blooded anime heroes. I don’t think you made Nikki stutter intentionally?

The little girl didn’t have the time to come out with a remark for his partners. Shouldn’t this be her partners?

The Unison Deviced tried to recall the full name of the series, but failed.. There is an excess “d” at the end of “Device”?

Nikki asked to the Nurse visiting her. There is an excess “to” in this sentence?

”Why I am not surprised?” Nikki said. Should be “Why am I ...”?

“Why you didn’t say that earlier?” Sergio complained. Should be “Why didn’t you ...”?

“Interesting. What version it is?” Should be “What version is it”?

The last three may all be meant to show that Nikki, Sergio, and Makes-Things aren’t native speakers, but they do use universal translators, right?

I don't have any coherent thoughts about this mission, other than that I liked it, but I though I'd let you know that people were reading your stuff. I also don't have any ideas about your WMG questions right now, but I might get around to them (along with more substantial concrit) in a reply to this.

For one who does not speak English natively, your writing's pretty good. I am quite unfamiliar with the Madoka-verse, but I was still able to keep up with the story.

However, there are a few spots where your English is off. If you don't mind:
1) You have: "Judging by how the Unison Device fit well in..." It's "fit in well," not "fit well in." Better yet, try writing "how well the Unison Device fit in."

2) It's "caught," not "catched"

3) "Weight" is a noun, "weigh" is a verb: "Weigh much," not "weight much."

With money issues arising for three of the four people involved, we're writing this one off. We may reconvene for another attempt after spending the winter dead for tax reasons.

hS

I can't come. It's going to cost nearly £80 for day tickets to London and back from where I am, and I just cannot afford that even with the extra birthday money. I'm disappointed, I really am - I would have loved to come and see everybody, but keeping a roof over my head comes first.

I hope you guys have a good time, though. :)

I'm still gunning for a London trip sometime though, so I'll let people know when I'm heading that way.

Over 5,200 miles away with no way to get there... Sorry. It sounds amazing, though. I especially like the somewhat cryptic location. It's appropriate. :)

-- Len

I'm three thousand miles away, and I don't have the money for airplane tickets.

Drat. Guess I'll have to wait for a meeting in the USA...

I live a rather long way away. Roughly three oceans away in fact.

I'm ~3950 miles away. If only there wasn't an ocean between me and the UK.

I live in the desert called Israel. There is another Israeli Boarder - DawnFire - but that's not enough for a Gathering.
-Sits in the corner of sadness-

...I can't. Like KittyEden, I live in somewhere which is 6740.23 miles away from London. (No, not Australia, I live in Singapore.) Which is sad. *Sigh*

...I live in Australia. Life's so unfair. Oooh.. are there any Boarders that live in Australia? We could arrange a gathering over here.

I'd actually thought the entire thing had been forgotten. Right now I'm going to say a tentative yes; my finances have become a bit more strained than usual with an unexpected extra water bill, so I will be able to give a definite answer by this time next week. I get paid on Thursday and my birthday is on Friday, so by the end of next week I will know whether or not I can afford it. I'm really hoping I can.

The timings and location you've suggested sound good to me.

Overall, I think this is a fascinating story starter. The dialogue is smooth and clever, and I like the descriptions of your characters. I did find a few nitpicky grammar/formatting slipups, which I've included below.

Other than that, I kind of got the feeling from the writing style that you were trying very hard to write in an imperious, intelligent voice. It's a style I've noticed crops up a lot in the PPC, and in some cases not one I'm particularly fond of. Frankly, it would be more entertaining with shorter sentences and a more casual tone. You're telling a story, not trying to impress a law professor. Ease up a little!
Okay, here goes...

"Inside a large flying object miles above a larger planetary object, a conversation was going on about a population of recently developed apes." This sentence is a little clumsy. I honestly don't even think you need it at all. The next sentence is a perfectly adequate opening line, and inspires more curiosity from the reader.

"...with one perched on a large block, and the other lay curled in a nest of tentacles." Should be "...and the other lying..."

Start a new paragraph each time there's dialogue.

" "But thats' jus it hon'rable..." Should be "But that's jus' it, hon'rable..."

"The pillbug waited for the statement to sink in before continuing. "I think that these apes are a menace to galactic economy. If they can replicate our technology, then surely they can find cheap alternatives that will put entire planets out of a job." The nest of tentacles paled as it..." No new paragraph before the first sentence. Paragraph break after "job."

"...we can fine' out da apes secret..." Should be "...we can fin' out da apes' secret..."

"Its last thoughts would roughly translate to: Not the greys!" Italicize the thought.

"Meanwhile.." Three periods, not two. Always three.

"Far away from the planet that would later be known as Earth, a multi-fanged smile spread across the face of a reptilian humanoid that had been listening in on the conversation about the fate of the humanity's precursors." This is an unweildy sentence, and it would read better broken up and dumbed down a bit. Maybe you could sub out somethin along the lines of: "Far away from the planet that would later be known as Earth, a reptilian humanoid smiled slowly, exposing countless razor-sharp fangs. It had overheard everything."

I'm sorry if anything I've said seems inflammatory or insulting, particularly the bit on tone. I hope my feedback is helpful!

-- Len

Ponystar has already done a good job of covering the SPG glitches in your story, so I'll not belabour the point, except for one thing:

It really is important to break up your paragraphs. Breaking for each new speaker is absolutely necessary, but you can also break for a significant change in the focus of the action.

But like I say, I won't dwell on that. Instead I'd like to look at the story itself.

-The idea that 'humans are awesome because they advance their technology really quickly' has been done so much, it's pretty much a cliche by now. I admit I've not seen it with reference to Homo habilis before, but it is still a very common idea.

-Your aliens... aren't very alien. Okay, their appearance isn't bad, but they talk in sound, can communicate with each other despite being from wildly different evolutionary backgrounds, blush when they get embarassed, and one of them has a... well, whatever accent that's meant to be. I'm no good at back-translating accents. They use the term 'apes', when they shouldn't really care enough to have given them a name. Oh, and they apparently have an economy almost identical to ours...

-The idea of 'if they can replicate our stuff, they can come up with cheaper versions!' is kind of... weird. Surely if that's the case, so can the planets which would otherwise be out of work? And surely, you know, the idea of 'make cheaper things' has been tossed about before in the last seven billion years? It happens on Earth - the usual response is either to employ the people who make them cheaper, or to somehow drive them out of the market.

-Related, the idea that a single planet could produce enough to drive multiple others entirely out of business is... well, it would require a pretty weird economic system in the other planets. Some sort of bilennia-old agreement that each world would make one product in strictly limited quantities, for example.

-I do like the idea of collecting brain scans - but I'm not sure it would actually save the apes, since they can still be wiped out after the scans are complete.

-'Xrvillian' is an... interesting word. The 'xr' sounds suitably insectoid (since it's being spoken by one, it has to be pronouncible by it), but the 'll' doesn't. Without any linguistic data from the tentacle creature I have little to go on, but I'd imagine that the tentacle's name for its species would be 'Survillian', while the pillbug would call it 'Xrvikkian'.

-I don't know what you're doing with 'Not the greys!'. No, not the greys - you've just been teleported into space.

-That's actually really bad health and safety right there. Seriously - what sort of spaceship is set up so that it's possible to teleport people from the bridge into deep space with no safeguards? Not a very good one, I think. How did these people survive seven billion years?

-Your 'reptilian humanoid' is very, very cliche. Seriously - the universe seems to be entirely populated by Cat People, Lizard People, and Tentacle Monsters. Why not shake things up a bit by having a 'reptillian xrvilloid' - a reptile which outwardly resembles a xrvillian?

-No creature except humans (and maybe dogs) smiles. Baring your teeth is not an expression of pleasure.

-And... you call this a short story. It isn't. It doesn't have an ending. Your 'meanwhile' doesn't come out of what went before - it comes out of nowhere, and doesn't explain anything. I have no idea where the reptiles are going, or why. It could be an ending, if you worked it a bit. An idea/suggestion:

After the xrvillian is thrown away, stay with the pillbug a little. Have it think about how much it will make out of these apes, how useful it is to have such an intelligent xrvillian around - this is a good chance to throw a bit more alienness in, by having it decide it will need to retrieve the body to take a cutting for the next iteration or somesuch. Have it make some alien-seeming gesture 'gleefully', to rub in the fact that it's an unscrupulous critter out for profit at the cost of whatever it takes.

Then cut to the reptiles - and make it clear that they're going to take the pillbug's ship, and that the end result of his scheme will be that he himself is thrown into space while his ill-gotten gains go to the pirates. Don't actually show us that happening - it's redundant - but tell us that's the plan. That would give him his comeuppance and close off the story.

Sorry if this all sounds a bit rushed - it is, I don't have internet access for long. But concrit you asked for, and concrit I have tried to give.

hS

There are a few things that don't scan right to me, and how I'd change them. I'm not 100% sure which are actually grammatical errors and which are just me being dumb, but I'll point them out in an overly large and overly paragraph-saturated textdump.

Line 2-3: "It was not a conversation in a sense you or I would comprehend, nor was it in our range of hearing" -> "It was not a conversation of a sort that you or I could comprehend, nor was it within our range of hearing"

Line 4: "[...]room, with one perched on a large block, and the other curled in a nest of tentacles." "[...]room. One was perched on a large block, and the other lay curled up in a nest of tentacles."

Line 5: "[...]perched on a block[...]" -> "[...]perched on the block[...]"

Just a note, I believe you're supposed to have a new paragraph every time a new being speaks. You also generally start a new paragraph the next time you refer to a being other than the speaker.

Line 9: "But thats' jus it hon'rable Cark!" -> "But that's jus' it, hon'rable Cark!"

Line 10: "It was[...]" There's a double space here.

Paragraph 2

Line 1: "statment" -> "statement"
Line 1: "Ape" -> "Apes"

Line 4: "implacations" -> "implications"
Line 4: "[...]to the species of apes that had[...]" -> "[...]to the species of apes which had[...]"

Line 7: "fine'" -> "fin'"/"fine"

Line 8: "apes" -> "apes'"
Line 8: "the" -> "da"

Line 10: "pillbugs" -> "pillbug's"
Line 10-11: "somehow managed" -> "somehow it managed"

Line 13: "to" -> "too"
Line 13: "the tentacles" -> "the mass of tentacles"

Paragraph 4

"the humanities precursors" -> "humanity's precursors"

... that this is Morgan, Amelia and Fred out on their adventures. Because yeah, that's exactly the sort of thing Morgan would write.

hS

(Kidding. I just have a badfic to report.)
The Knight of Death: The Bane From Within, rated T, by Kappa Taicho.
Drizzt was not the only drow who was discontent with life in the Underdark. Follow the adventures of Auniira and her undead companion, Yoshiro as they form their own unique adventurer's group on the surface world. (I am accepting three original characters for the team. You can submit your OC through a review or you can PM me.)
To sum this two-chapters-and-a-prologue 'fic: a Sue that makes Drizzt look logical and is blander than tea from bags. The Suethor's grasp of grammar is dodgy at best.
Other offences include completely ignoring how Undead work, completely ignoring how Drow society works, completely ignoring how Drow are looked at in the Realms That See the Sun, Speshul/Stupid names, et cetera et cetera.

Ah, I see you ARE new. Welcome to the Board! Have this bleen cloak. You'd never know when you might need it...

~Autumn

P.S. You might want to introduce yourself in a more proper fashion. It'll do you good.

P.P.S. The fic you've told us about is a good find. However, do check the Unclaimed Badfic List, the Claimed Badfic List and the Killed Badfic List first and make sure your fic isn't there before you add it to the 'Unclaimed' list. Since you're new, I'll check it out for you.

P.P.P.S. (Ok, I have a feeling this is starting to get annoying for you.) Regarding your question, I'm not too sure, because I'm kind of a newbie too. I joined...I dunno, one week, two weeks ago? Anyway, I'm sure a more experienced Boarder will answer your question. Have fun here!

Heh heres the link if anyone is curious http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4152504/1/Link-s-Windwaker-Adventure

What're your favorite canons? Have a fluffy velociraptor while you think about it.

A robotics student and sci-fi gamer, eh? Interesting. Let me see if I have anything for you:

*rummages in bag of holding*
Here, have a Porygon! Is it an animal? It is a robot? Is it some type of hybrid! Maybe you could figure it out.

Hope you've guessed my name!

. . . I mean, it's written right up there . . .

Anyway, have a nonspecific ancient artifact of unknown origin that probably has mystical properties to some degree.

I like you. Your good sense of humor and your knowledge of the materials makes me think you'll fit in quite well here.

Also, you're studying robotics, and my favorite Star Trek character is an android. Of course, Star Trek science is fairly soft (on a scale from "feather bed" to "granite", I'd say it's mud - there's some rock in there, but mostly it's just squishy and fun to play with), so I doubt it would be relevant, but still, robotics is very cool.

Gift…gift…Here, have a fluffy hat in whatever color/pattern you choose.

Hello and greetings. I hereby give you a lined Infinite Notebook with urple covers and wilver binding to use at your own discretion. Beware your eyes.

-Aila

Greetings, I am platypus. I, or rather we, are the collective intellect of every platypus in the galaxy. On the topic of robotics, could a conductive nanobot gel be used for an artifical brain? I've made drafts, but would like to ask someone currently learning the field. Also, would brain cells grown in a nutrient fluid serve as better autopilots, because they can adapt to new circumstances?

It's nice to meet you! I'm Len, and I have no impressive-sounding credentials whatsoever, and unless your claim to poor taste is more than self-depricating humor, we don't have much in common besides the obvious affinity for books. That said, have an urple lawn ornament vaguely resembling a tuatara and a box of gently used novels for your housewarming gifts. :)

-- Len

Is your fleet in space or on water? I am Dark Lord Aakmal, Lord of Orcs of Bukit Kepayan, LawReader of the Orcs, and Nominal Servant of Morgoth. If by any chance you require fictional sails, I'll be happy to sell a few dozen yards square of Shelobsilk, guarenteed not to be cut by a sword or cannon, or 30% discount on next purchase.

I give you a virtual plate of cymbal, good for waking up people from their bunkbeds. Just find somewhere else to bang it to, I forgot where the other one went.

Welcome to the PPC! If you've been lurking, you know to take your shoes off and leave your sanity at the door. Remember, there is no sanity here whatsoever.

As a welcome gift, I'll give you some music by Messiaen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a63loXj_XP4

Welcome to our community. You can leave your sanity by the door, it's not needed here. Please make sure to read The Constitution. The wiki you seem to know about, and I assume you've read the Original Series...?
Anyway, what are your fandoms? Also, have this cup of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you.
(Signed: (almost)-Corporal Des)

You did a fantastic job on these. It's amazing that you can create such sympathy for your characters in so few words. Very well-written and I'd love to read more of your work. :)

The only criticism I could possibly offer is that they're both too short. Even realizing that they were flash fiction or contest entries of some sort, I'd really like to see them extended. Like, did Angela feel any remorse about failing to protect Morgan? Does he die? And what happened leading up to the events in 'Visions?' Why do the characters need masks? What is a Toa, anyway? Or the other strange names, for that matter? Just a few thoughts if you were ever to add on.

-- Len

Hmm I like the short story. Out of curiousness, Was the first one from a prompt idea? And is this from an orginal universe?

Have you considered a background for your first piece of writing?

Green Armada...interesting name. Pray tell, what inspired it? Are you a Green Lantern fan, perhaps?

As for your gift...
*rummages through bag of holding*
No, not that...
*rummages some more*
no, not that either...
*rummages some more*
Where did this come from? Either way, it's perfect!

Here, have a Japanese copy of the Silmarillion!

Hi there! Don't worry about about being judged, I spend a lot of time on the computer. So you're into OFUs? I'm currently working on one for Doctor Who if you'd like to join.
Have a potato cannon and a basket of golden potatoes. They're great for fending off hostiles!

Greetings, greetings. Have a lined Infinite Notebook with urple covers and wilver binding. Do be careful with where you focus your eyes, though. You might be blinded.

Also, don't worry. Fourteen year old girl here saying hello!

-Aila

Welcome to the PPC. I'm Len, and fear not; we're all socially challenged here! Well, I'm socially challenged at any rate. I don't think I've ever met someone fluent in Japanese. Very cool. Very cool indeed. -.-

Virtual high-fives for short stories, LOTR, anti-Legolas-drooling, editing, and Harry Potter. In honor of the things we have in common, I present to you... a pen with urple ink that burns through most solid substances. (I don't know. I couldn't think of any hybrids of all those things that weren't mentally scarring.)

-- Len

Hello and welcome, shiny new person! Since you've already left your sanity at the curb, let me just point you toward The Constitution, which you have to read, The Wiki which is a Wiki of all things PPC, and The Original Series, which is where all of this mess started.
Also, have this cup of tea. It's good Matcha and goes well with sugar and milk! Just don't let the leaves eat you.

-(almost-)Corporal Des
PS: You're fluent in Japanese? That's the awesomest thing ever! -Squees-

Welcome a-Board! Here, have this crate of Butterbeer. Don't worry, you're not the only teenager here. Heck, I just turned 13. *looks around nervously*

But my lifelong ambition isn't becoming Legolas's *uh-hum* "gurlfriend!!!!!11!!one!!!". I'm not a fangirl. Fangirls are annoying. I don't abuse commas and exclaimation marks like they do. So, since you aren't a fangirl, make yourself comfortable here. Have fun!

~Autumn

Greetings, new friend!

Have a cheap Silmaril knock-off. Uh, I mean, it's totally legit! The real deal!

"so I get really annoyed when people use "japanese" words (I.e. kawaii)."

I get the feeling you'd love the page on our wiki about what we call "Fangirl Japanese". Yes, we do charge for that in the PPC.

Anyway, welcome to the PPC! Take off your shoes, leave your sanity at the door, and come on in! We love newbies here!

As a welcome gift... here, have some music by Arnold Schoenberg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjyDs0q3KBE

But I too am concerned with problems of making sense of all this. It could prove rather difficult to handle two people interacting in the wrong order...

But if you do it right, then yes, it would be awesome.

... for a non-PPC story, in which two people receive the same time machine with sixteen preset coordinates. Of course, since the buttons are in a 4x4 array, one person presses them in order for a phone (bottom left to top right, reading horizontally), while the other reads them down in columns. So they meet 16 times, but in different orders depending on who you follow...

I think it could work in the PPC. You'd probably have to use a malfunctioning TARDIS to throw someone's timestream off (TARDISes are like that). The main problem is that... well, most people don't write that many missions. ;) Actually, the majority of written agents have... one mission (or even just an introduction). Obviously there are exceptions (Jay and Acacia, Indemaat, Tawaki, Laburnum, Araeph, and to some extent me... I'm sure there are other examples), but they are exceptions - and I'm not sure how well it would work if one only wrote two of the missions. Particularly since each one would necessarily be referencing others - many of which wouldn't have been written yet.

Time is out of joint — O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!
Nay, come, let's go together.
-Hamlet

hS

How would you actually make the receiving of their missions make sense? Do they stay in the same RC? If so, how? If not, why not? What makes B experience the missions in an order other than A (Not just 'time travel', but, like, 'B shows up on mission 13, falls through a plot hole at the end, finds themself in 2)?

I'd be interested in seeing this if you could pull it off, but that might be too much of a chore for you to explain how/why the different timelines, and making things mesh like this can be... difficult. Does A know that B is a timetraveler? How does this effect A's relationship with B, knowing that what happened last time for A may be what will happen three times from now for B?

Again, the idea is good, the execution on the other hand may be more than you want to tackle for something like the PPC...

I actually poked around the wikia and read stuff for over two years, and I know about the trouble of working the board.

But welcome, and have a fluffy velociraptor, TopHatOfDoom.

Good to meet you. :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They're handy for keeping Sues busy!

Glad to have you aBoard. From one "new" participant to another, I gift you this self-replicating Roomba. I'm sure it will be useful.

I must say, that was probably the most I have every seen of a response in any board-shaped community. Which is a good thing, I think. Well... It is a good thing, but I am a hat*, which complicates the thought process somewhat...

Moving on...

Thank you all. You seem like a lovely group of questionably-sane interesting people. Probably could have come up with a better way of saying that, but I think you might take issue with the harmless part of harmless lunatics. And possibly the lunatic part. But that doesn't seem too much of a problem.

*Mostly. It's an odd codependency. It needs someone to type for it.

Ah, another Puella Magi! Or Puer Magi, as the case may be.

You'll notice Sturgeon's Law is very much in effect around fanfiction communities. But the 10% makes it worth it.

I don't have a lot to give... how about a talking toy Kyuubey? It will serve as a good distraction should you run into trouble. 'Contract?'

Welcome, fellow reader of fanfiction! It may oftentimes be hard to find goodfic, but it's out there, if you're willing to take the effort. Usually, I just sort by reviews then scan the summaries for premises that look good (a badly-written summary usually portends a badly-written story), but it seems that we both have learned some good ways to find goodfic.

But enough of that; you're due a gift!
*rummages through bag of holding*
Aha! Here, have a copy of Anguished English! All the technical errors of badfic, without the concomitant need for Bleeprin!(Really, this book is good. If you can get ahold of it IRL, I suggest that you do so.)

Stay a while and listen, for many of us have interesting tales to share, both in the IRC and here on this Board! Plus, it's great to see another Mass Effect enthusiast here.

Hello!
Since you seem like a good anime-liker who doesn't abuse Japanese, I give to you: an urple-colored mini-robot who can do anything from serving tea to playing soccer.
Also, it is pretty hard to find good fanfics in The Pit. where I lurk as well. What I found was that good authors like good authors. That connection finds you pretty good fanfiction (most of the time).

Green Armada

Hello, it's nice to meet you. I too lurk around the Pit looking for something worth reading. It's hard to find something good, but there are times where I'm pleasantly surprised.
Have a potato cannon and a basket of russet potatoes. They're great for warding off Sues!

Greetings, new friend! Help yourself to the bag of venomous desert animals! Don't worry; they don't all bite. Some of them sting!

Hi there! Here, have one (1) Infinite Notebook, lined, with urple covers and wilver binding. I am constrained to warn you that it may bring permanent harm to your vision.

-Aila

For being a dragon age and eva fan. I hearby grant you a Grey Warden maker potion and your choice of immuntity to one Askua BSOD or an eva suit of your choice.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some Schrodinger's Chocolate Chip Cookies! May or may not contain chocolate chips!

I enjoy Google Translate.

Anyway, welcome to the PPC! Unfortunately, we don't have any fandoms in common, so for your newbie gift you'll have to tolerate this unrelated Dinglehopper. (Not a fork. This one has built-in plasma cannons, a kitten dispenser, and a deux ex machina button among its many lethal features.) A good tip for navigating the horrors of the Pit: find one story you *do* like, and click around in their favorites list. Then, if you like anything you find, go to that author's favorites list, and pretty soon you'll have a whole network of decent writing. Excepting the occasional pity-favorite, that is.

Again, welcome!

-- Len

Finally, I get to have someone else to fawn over that series with! Awesomesauce!

*ahem*

Anyway, welcome to the PPC. Take your shoes off, leave your sanity at the door, and make yourself at home. We love newbies here, trust me!

As a welcome gift, I'll even gift you some music by Karlheinz Stockhausen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTtzAmZFtds

Welcome on Board, my hat-shaped friend! You may leave your sanity at the door, it's not needed here.
First of all, please read The Constitution. Since you've been lurking in the Wiki, I don't need to point you there, but I should probably recommend The Original Series, if you haven't read it already.
That said, have a cup of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you.

-(almost-)Corporal Des