May 2013 Archive, part c

Well... (spoilers ahead, but it's not like anyone cares :P) Probably get thrown out for trying to charge and execute Cinderella.

Given my ideas for agents? Their day would *not* go well at all.

Or, for those who cannot tell what the heck that was, Disney World for me. Let's see,

Marvin would have a blast just going around and seeing all the fun things. I cannot tell what his favorite park would be. I think he would enjoy all of it (except the little kiddies rides) and just generally have a blast. He is a big kid at heart, and having opportunity to let it all out would be exhilarating for him.

Printworthy would have fun at most of the parks, but would be more interested at the opportunity to study human culture and entertainment first hand. As such, his favorite park would probably be Epcot as well, but for different reasons. Seeing how an untamed planet works, without having to go into the Everfree Forest would be amazing for future works and his own curiosity. Then, going to all the human culture exhibits and seeing how different people act based off of location and history would be exiting. Besides that, the Animal Kingdom would be interesting to watch him go through, as he tries to communicate with all the hoofed animals and it does not work. It would be funny to read about at least.

Jumper would have fun, but would be constantly asking, "Can we jump on over to Universal now? I want to see Hogwarts and Jurassic Park and all that stuff. Please?"

My frame of reference is Disney World, so let's go with that one.

Jenni is all for this idea, seeing as she has a young child who would be massively entertained by all the age-appropriate stuff (until he got tired). She and Henry might have to bail on Disney and go hit up Universal Orlando for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, though.

Ilraen would get a kick out of pretty much everything, though if he's in human morph instead of a disguise (which would make the better story), he might have to be kept on a leash—all that enticing theme park food, you know. He might have to avoid the more popular attractions, since being stuck in line for more than two hours would be a Very Bad Thing for him, but he'd be pretty happy just gawking at everything. Really real reality is a bit of a novelty for him in and of itself.

Nume would not enjoy the large crowds and screaming children, and I can't imagine he's much for rides, but Disney World pretty much has an attraction for everyone. Epcot is more his speed. If they have adults-only days, that would be ace in his book. Realistically, though, he'd probably get dragged around by Jenni and/or Ilraen and just have to suck it up.

Derik and Gall would most likely be confused and overwhelmed by everything, which is pretty dangerous in both their cases. Derik has some sense and can generally keep it together enough to stop Gall from doing anything stupid, but one bad mood swing and that's the end of that. I wouldn't trust them by themselves, personally.

If I didn't have a million other things to do, I might have to write this. {= D

~Neshomeh

Doc would probably have the most fun finding and reading all the little bits about the history of Disneyland. "Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln" would probably be his favorite thing of all. Of course, he would also need to hit the shops for any interesting biographies about Walt (even he/I need to read a little nonfiction sometimes).

Vania would be riding the "good" rides over and over: Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Indiana Jones Adventure, Star Tours. Over and over and over and over. And over. She would probably drive the guests around her nuts with singing along to any song that catches her ear. Especially when she tries to join in with the Dapper Dans. Any stages musicals would be right up her alley as well. Vania would go shopping too, but for music rather than reading.

Although, if this is happening after my upcoming mission to Epic Mickey, they may have unsettling flashbacks to the Cartoon Wasteland's creepy, run-down versions of the rides . . .

So, any fun pictures or stories from your trip, Lily?

Because I wanted to see how they'd act in a relatively normal environment/setting, doing normal things and so on.

Disney World is the only incarnation I've been to. So.....

Cass: Would probably show her whimsical side and end up *everywhere*, especially anywhere in the Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom. I imagine she'd enjoy the water parks, as well. and she'd be keeping an autograph book too. She'd enjoy everything, especially the cute and extreme rides. Also, I think she'd like the cultural relevance of Epcot. She'd also beg Sol to let her try out for "The American Idol experience". She might also drag Sol to character breakfast.

Solstice: Probably wouldn't enjoy herself that much in Magic Kingdom. Would be dragged around by Cass on every cute ride there is, multiple times, and stand in line to get all character autographs, staring daggers at Cass every so often. She would probably hate Peter Pan, try to find the off switch for "It's a Small World" before being dragged away by Cass (but not before purchasing one of those "I survived 'It's a Small World'" t-shirts). She'd probably hide the fact that she likes the extreme rides, and would most likely enjoy Epcot. When Cass would ask to try out for AI, she would crack eventually. I think her favorite thing would be the rocket ride, but it might make Cass dizzy since it relies a lot on a screen.

I'd imagine they'd go camping. Both of them can be somewhat outdoorsy, so they'd take the campground.

Well, I have a pair of potential agents I've been creating for if I ever apply for Permission (read: when I feel like my writing isn't terrible anymore), so I shall answer your question.

The girl from World One whose name may or may not become Zoë would probably briefly look up from her book, find a bench or a quiet corner, and then go right back to reading. Seriin, the elf from one of my original worlds, Rhel, would probably look around, be overwhelmed, and then start talking and asking questions at Zoë without breaking for breath, like she tends to do when she's excited. Zoë would growl "Shut up!" and then pointedly ignore her partner. Seriin would wander off, get lost, realize that Zoë has the RA, and curse the Narrative Laws of Comedy while trying to find her partner by navigating Disneyland as though it were HQ.

Meanwhile, Zoë would look up from her book, realize that Seriin's not there anymore, and go chasing after her-- as well as she can while also holding her book open to the right page because she lacks a bookmark and doesn't want to bend the corners. When they finally find each other, they would be relieved for a small instant before getting annoyed at each other again, and then someone would spot the knife that Zoë was fingering and call security while the Agents escape through a portal to their RC.

Sorry, was that too long? They don't even exist yet!

-Aila

Hey, when you live five hours south of a theme park, what's your school to do for long field trips, y'know?

Florestan: Well, Florestan would probably run straight for all the "mountains" that are all over the place. He is a fan of things that go fast, after all.

Eusabius: Definitely up for some Haunted Mansion fun times. I imagine he's also the kind of guy who would spend tons of time in Tomorrowland and Adventure Land as well.

Anneli: Fantasyland girl all the way.

Xanthus: Now Xanthus... Xanthus is much more of an EPCOT kind of guy, what with having a curiosity for Earth and all that. He might be disappointed to find that there's no dextro food, and that indeed there aren't that many rides, but I think he'd appreciate it nonetheless. Besides, Test Track is a pretty awesome ride...

Cindy: Poor Cindy would probably be dragged around by Anneli. Not that she minds, but Cindy might start complaining after being on "It's A Small World" for the eighth time.

You know how it is. Have fun!

Okay, let me take a crack at this.

-Orochimaru is not ever, ever, ever allowed to meet the Doctor. Ever. It only gives him ideas.

--Or any Time Lords.

--Or Jack Harkness.

--Or anyone who has ever come back from the dead (This including Gandalf, Kara Thrace, and roughly half the Marvel Universe).

-I am not allowed to make a ˆTerminatorˆ joke to a Cylon.

--They never get the joke, and you end up dead anyway.

-I will not give Agent Snapshot a cupcake.

-I will not put Juugo and Bruce Banner in the same room and make them angry.

--While the resulting fight would no doubt be epic, the reason that it is a bad idea should be obvious.

Shang Tsung. Dementor. Just no.

I will not scream and cry out, "Scootaloo!" if I see another agent eating chicken.

I will not taunt Nightwolf from "Mortal Kombat" by asking him is he knows Jacob from "Twilight". His wolf form is his Animality, not lycanthropy.

1. If I am in possession of a mythril necklace, I will not leave it on top of my console.
   -especially if the console is prone to screaming words instead of [BEEP]ing.
   -I will not leave the necklace on top of someone else's console, either.
   -In fact, if I have any inanimate object capable of speech, I will not leave it on top of another inanimate object capable of speech, especially if the latter object is or has a function similar to a CAD or a console.
   
   0. I must not portal Captain Jack Harkness into the 50th Anniversary episode of Doctor Who.
   -No, not even though John Barrowman says it would be a travesty for him not to be in it.
   -Using a TARDIS instead of a portal is right out.
   
   0. I must not create and/or spread rumors that Lenore Snow is the reincarnation of Agent Len.
   -Agent Len might not even be dead.
   -Who's Lenore Snow, anyway? We can't find a single agent or PPC civilian going by that name.
   -Just don't have anything to do with those rumors, alright?
   
   --
   I really do hope Jack turns up anyway. And I'm sorry if you're offended, Lenore--that's not how I meant this...
   
   ~DF

X) I will not gather together all of the fictional versions of Excalibur (or any other similarly ubiquitous weapon with multiple incarnations) just to see what happens.

- If I ignore the previous instruction, I will definitely not melt down all the different variations of the sword, and attempt to re-forge them into one Sword of Pure Awesomeness.

-- If I ignore that instruction, I fully accept that such a sword would undoubtedly be confiscated from me.

X+1) I will not attempt to re-forge Narsil, no matter how badly my LARP blacksmith character needs the practise.

X+2) Even if I have just ‘accidentally’ acquired an army of minis, I still can’t go on a rampage throughout HQ (unless I file the appropriate paperwork with my Department Head first).

X+3) I will not ridicule the theory that Slorps are capable of reproducing via mitosis, nor will I attempt to get agents to consider the implications of the phrase ‘meatloafslash’.

-I will not point out any Freud-ness in Reinforce's new Device
-I will not try to figure out how Bardiche's Zanber form's proportions seem to be as fluid as a swimming pool
-I will not introduce the Movieverse Chrono and Yuuno to the Liese twins
--Chances are that Chrono still knows them, anyways
-I will not try to set up a deathmatch between Walpurgisnacht and the Book of Darkness' berserk defense program
-Introducing the Wolkenritter to Servants, the Holy Grail's corruption and the berserk defense program, or in any way letting Book of Darkness and Holy Grail War creations come into contact is strictly prohibited
--'ShadowCrytalMage did it' is not a valid excuse

1. If I see Agents Jacques Bonnefoy and Luxury together, I will run.
   -I will not approach them.
   -I will not talk to them.
   -Staying to watch is right out.
   -Yes, even if they invite me.
   -Why aren't you running yet? Do you not understand the amount of Bleepka you're going to need?
   
   0. I will not use 'Glaurung' as a swear word anywhere in the general vicinity of the Calaquendi agents (especially Naergondir).
   -'Glamdring' is not an acceptable substitute.
   -'Gondolin' is right out.
   
   0. I will not tease the Disentangler about her planet having a beige sky.
   -She'll only tell me it's beige because it's morning, anyway.
   
   0. I will not tease the Agent about this either.
   -Teasing Agent Morgan is right out.
   -In fact, don't tease any of the Time Lord agents about this odd addition to their canon.
   
   0. I will not use the phrase 'Beige sky over Gallifrey!' as an exclamation around any Time Lord agents.
   -It may sound authentic, but it doesn't exist and is likely to get you strangled or thrown into a TARDIS' Eye of Harmony.
   
   0. I must not portal lampposts into HQ.
   -It's not funny.
   -People are still traumatized from being tied upside-down to lampposts during the Blackout.
   -FicPsych has more than enough work already.
   -Seriously, just don't do it.
   
   0. I will not keep a lamppost in my room/the corridor and tie Sues to it upside-down.
   -Yes, even if the Sues deserve it.
   -Canon characters are right out.
   -In fact, I am not Batman and Sues/possessed canon characters are not Gotham's criminals, and I must remember this.
   
   0. Robin did not get lost in HQ during the Blackout. This is a false rumor.
   -No, Superman did not come looking for him.
   -Batman didn't either.
   -These are all lies, and I must not perpetuate them.
   -No, not even if I found their notes.
   -In fact, would you mind looking this way, please? *flash!*
   
   0. I really should avoid tempting the Laws of Narrative Comedy.
   -Yes, you probably know this, but it bears repeating.
   -Taunting the Ironic Overpower is right out.
   -Trust us; we know what we're talking about.
   
   0. I must not shove Dean Winchester and Castiel together and tell them, "Now, kiss!"
   -I also must not do this with Arthur and Merlin.
   -Even though that one's practically canon.
   -Actually, both of them are practically canon.
   -It's still not a good idea, though.
   -Doing this with Sherlock and John is right out.
   -Yes, we know they're practically canon too. We know what good shipteasing looks like.
   -We'd add in 'don't do this with Spock and Kirk (any incarnation), either' but we assume you already know this.
   -They are considered the fathers (grandfathers?) of slash, after all.
   
   0. I must not confuse the names of Uriel and Ariel.
   -One is an Archangel. The other is the personification of Jerusalem and may have the head of a lion.
   -Yes, Ariel could also be the Little Mermaid.
   -Just don't confuse them, alright? It's embarrassing, and leads to awkward situations.
   
   0. I must not invent de-Horcruxing rituals (or any rituals) that invoke the wrong angel.
   -Especially in continua that never prove the existence or non-existence of such beings.
   -It's really awkward, and may pull in canon characters from Supernatural.
   -Not all of them are friendly.
   -If you must write such rituals, please realize that naming Harry Potter as Raphael's vessel is right out.
   
   --
   
   For anyone curious about what Calaquendi agents I'm going on about, they should be up and introduced within the next day or two. I just wanted to post all of these together so that I wouldn't wind up forgetting anything.
   
   ~DF

[SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS]

I will not introduce the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes to the Star Trek reboot version of Khan Noonien Singh.
-The resultant amount of British supergenius would probably destroy the world.
-And attract far too many fangirls.

I will not blind people with lens flare.
-Unless I am J.J. Abrams.
-No, you are not J.J. Abrams.

I will not introduce Cinderella to Captain Janeway.
-Or Hermione.
-Or any other well-rounded female character with weapons.

[I'll try to come up with more later.]

• No matter how much I want to, I am not to lock Spock, Sherlock Holmes, and Tony Stark in a closet, with or without a box of scraps.
  
  - I will not build scale models of Annuvin, Barad-Dûr, Isengard, the Aperture Science Labs, or any world from the Myst franchise and attack passing agents with a DORKS set to "lilliputian" in order to populate them.
  -- No, not even if the agents just complained to me about needing a vacation.
  
  - Selling my handmade "THE SLORP: because evil is hammy" pins in front of the cafeteria is likely to get me attacked with a spatula.
  
  - The Slorp and the Horta are not long-lost cousins.
  
  - Trying to compare the direct similarities between The Mortal Instruments series and The Draco Trilogy is too long and utterly thankless of a task even for a PPC agent.
  --- [For those of you who want to know, I've barely finished chapter 2 and I've found two direct paraphrases and two suspected Buffy quotes. And I'm bored.]
  
  - Sledding down the stairs in the PPC on a trashcan lid, shooting ahead of me with Dr. Horrible's freeze ray, is a very stupid recreational activity that is likely to get me sent to ficPsych, if by some miracle I don't end up in Medical.
  --That thing is prone to backfiring unpredictably.

n. I will not imitate Wheatley around Evie in order to get a sarcastic reaction.
- I will not imitate Wheatley around Evie for any reason.

n+1. I will not test Sue assassination methods on Evangelion-verse Angels.

n+2. I will not put Leeloo, Alice and Violet Song jat Shariff in a room together 'just to see what happens'.
- Recording what does happen is right out.

-I will not attack a Weeping Angel with a sledgehammer.
-I highly doubt it works, and if it doesn't, one blink and you are one very very dead agent.
-I must not be in the general vicinity *ever* of a bodiless Makuta searching for a vessel.
-I will never play tag with a Creeper
-No, seriously. Bad Idea.
Eh. Not all of these may be good, but I certainly like the one about playing tag with a Creeper.

???. The C-14 Gauss Impaler Rifle is not an acceptable substitue for a nail gun.

???. I will not have a Weeping Angel and a Silent fight to the death in an arena for my own entertainment.
- I put an Angel and a what now into an arena? I can't remember.

???. We shall never talk about the Travelocity gnome incident ever again.

???. I will exercise restraint in the presence of Khalisah al-Jilani.

???. New Caledonia is not "Party Town."

???. Patrol Officer Taldaris is not afraid of the mini-Slorps.
- His cloak is not named Mister Snugglies either.

???. Rocket jumping. No.

???. I will not use my (unwitting) partner as a Jarate manufacturer.

???. I will leave the Aegis of the Immortal in its home canon of DOTA.
-Roshan will probably turn me into purée anyways.
-- The cheese is totally worth it, though.

???. Killing magical Suvians does not make me an Anti-Mage.

???. Zen gardens do not belong on Shakuras.

(I can't keep up with the numbers at this point.)

- I am not allowed to steal the magic notebook from Maxwell.
-- No good could come of it anyhow.

- I am not allowed to address the First and Forsaken Lion with, "'Sup bra."
-- They don't call him a DEATH knight for just any reason.

- In a similar vein, I am not allowed to attempt a high-five with Arthas.
-- Mainly because he'd kill me, and also because he's too tall.

- It is almost certainly a death wish to yell "LOOK AT ALL THESE UGLY F***ERS!" in Silvermoon City.
-- Or anywhere primarily frequented by blood elves, really.

- Gandalf is not some conjurer of cheap tricks, and I must remember this.
-- It's also probably a bad idea to do magic fingers in front of Saruman and go "haminah haminah hooo!"

-For the love of all things, DON'T EVER FIRE A RED BIRD AT THE S.O.!
-- Getting fired would be the LEAST of my worries then.

- Introducing Commander Shepard to his Gary Stu clone in Parallel Realities will likely get me punched in the throat, at the very least.
-- I'd personally like to not think about what the would do at the worst extreme

- Let it be noted: streaking in front of Samantha will only make the zombies want to kill me more.
-- You just can't be a drunk enough Russian to get away with that.

- Oh, by all means, let's just piss off a Charizard on Giant Pokemon Island, I'm sure nothing bad will happen.
-- On a related note: Let's never introduce Lucy from Elfen Leid and MewTwo to each other. It was hell enough for their respective series to deal with them escaping captivity and to notch security.

Cafeteria meatloaf is not a toy.
-Nor is it a scientific specimen worth resurrecting ala Frankenstein.
-Slorp was bad enough; we don't want zombie Slorp running around the place.

Asking about Agent Eledhwen and Christianne's relationship is liable to get me maimed.
-Especially if it's about sexual things. They're not like that.
-Seriously. No matter what Lux says.

The Travelocity gnome is not a Weeping Angel.
-No, not even if it's creepy as heck.

Not allowed to break into DoSAT to steal a TARDIS.
-Seriously, it was only cool when the Doctor did it.

Not allowed to attempt to neuralyse a Silent.

The Eye of Harmony is not a toy.

-Antimatter is not a toy.

-I am not allowed to pit Thrawn against Creed in any strategy game. Ever.

-If a Sue uses Car-Fu, Tank-Fu is not the correct countermeasure.

I will not introduce a Blocker to the Witch Wall.

I will not encourage Lord Fear to try to gain access to the internet.

I will especially not give Lord Fear a copy of the Evil Overlord List in any way, shape or form.
- No, not even indirectly.

1. I will not ask agent Desdendelle if he's a fungus.
   1850a. Nor will I ask him if he is in a relationship with a vampiric tree.
   1851. I will not let Kha-Beleth, the Demon Sovereign, meet with Sauron. Nothing good will come out of it.
   1852. I will not attempt to fuse Armageddon's Blade with the One Ring.

I will not introduce Shang Tsung from "Mortal Kombat" to Sauron.
-Nor will I ask Shao Kahn if he knows a famous starship captain James T. Kirk.

The Andalite Escafil device is not a toy.

I will not introduce Shang Tsung from "Mortal Kombat" to Sauron.
-Nor will I ask Shao Kahn if he knows famous starship captain by the name of James T. Kirk.

The Andalite Escafil device is not a toy.

I don't know that I can comment on the "correctness" of the piece, since everyone's definition of Mary Stu, canon, and where the two intersect, is different - but it is a helpful dialogue, and a useful one for writing. As far as PPC canon goes, I don't know that it could be made to conform with the PPC 'verse, but I don't think that makes it any less interesting, or important, or even correct - we're hardly the arbiters of everything right about fanfic.

(Having poked at their main site, I must say I also rather like it overall. Interesting stuff!)

What is this.

I laughed in a few spots. {= )

I think the main problem with it as far as meshing with the PPC definition goes is that we don't define Mary Sues as necessarily being author-inserts. Sure, they might be, but making the accusation means making assumptions about people we've never met based on a piece of fiction, which is kind of not cool and also debases our claim that our problem is the writing, not the author. If we can't separate the Sue from its author, how do we expect the author to do so?

Also, not all author-inserts are necessarily Sues, which I think the article demonstrates without meaning to. A self-insert that keeps to herself and doesn't muck with the plot or characters, as seems to be the case with Ophidia, is not a Mary Sue by our definition. In fact, she seems like an interesting original character to me.

By the way, I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you new to the Board?

~Neshomeh

A fine welcome to you! Enjoy the Board! Have some yummy cake. Don't eat it all at once. *assaults with cake*

Don't worry, you're blending in quite well already. Third-person is no crime, nor is being a brony or furry (or both!).

Have some cookies and have fun with the PPC!

Welcome, welcome!

Looks like we share a couple fandoms, Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl and Avatar (the cartoon series). :)

Welcome gifts! Since you're reading Lord of the Rings now, how about a Sam approved camping kit, a pair of pint glasses and a small ball of fur that when it waked up will either by a kitten or a puppy, depending on your preference. Welcome again!

Salvete!
Writing a plot would, in fact, be a helpful skill to learn, although writing a well-structured one might serve you better than a god-damned one. Kudos to you for going after your amitions!
I proudly (proudly because I am also fairly new here) bestow upon thee a potted slughorn mushroom, and with it a superb method by which to blackmail your neighbors. I also give you this antique lapiz lazuli urn, just brimming with half-rotten tangerines. Because you never know what life will bring.

Again, welcome!

Greetings, new friend! Have an unwritten novel!

Have a voodoo doll made out of wire.

I'm Pauline, but everyone calls me Paulie.....no, I'm joking. No one calls me Paulie. Pauline suits me just fine (as you might have noticed, I'm also not particularly funny)

hmm.....gifts....bleepolate ice cream, sound good? Looks like you'll need it.

That had to be one of the cheekiest intro statements I've ever read, well done.

I am a creature of an odd and eccentric nature who fully enjoys writing stories, drawing pictures, and mocking bad stories on the basis of, "because I feel like it." On the flip side, I am also prone to helping people who recognize that they need the help, because at my center I really am a good-meaning protagonist. Like, to the point where being a jerk in video games makes me cringe unless that was the point of the game.

Cram that all together, and you get SC!

Who now delivers a gift of: BleepNerds! Sweet, tangy, small, and brain bleaching for your convenience!

Have some lemming repellent! And I'm not entirely sure what you mean by plot - plot of a story? Plot of a mission? Plot-arcs between multiple mission instalments?

Welcome! I hope that you like what you see at the PPC.

Since no one seems to have asked the usual newbie questions yet, I it seems that it falls to me to do so:

1) Have you read The PPC Constitution and The Original Series?
2) Have you checked out the PPC Wiki?
3) How did you run across the PPC?
4) What are your fandoms?

Since you seem to be a brony, allow me to give my favorite brony gift:
*rummages through bag of holding*
*Pulls out a Pokeball*
Have a Rapidash, which I have had a good authority tell me resembles a certain angry Twilight Sparkle.

Welcome to the PPC! We love newbies here, so come on in and leave your sanity at the door!

Here, have some music by Helmut Lachenmann as a welcome gift: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYKkZrPz13s

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Don't worry if it is trying to escape out of the canteen: it's supposed to do that.

I seem to be the first to greet you, so...

Greetings! *bows* Welcome to the Board of the PPC! And we're all at least partially insane here, so don't worry. As long as you don't go flamethrower-crazy, we're happy to have you.

Now, for thy newbie gift... *rummages around in pillowcase*

Here, since you haven't announced your fandoms, I shall give you one Lined and one Unlined Infinite Notebook, complete with urple covers and wilver binding. Beware your eyes!

-Aila

Also, hi! I'm so flattered (and happy) that you enjoyed my Interlude, especially so much that you went looking for more of it!

Part 4 is currently in the works, although it does seem to be going ahead, and (if you're curious) it looks like there are going to be quite a few more parts after it. Or possibly three or four really long parts, I'm not sure. It's definitely grown a lot in terms of plot, though.

Thanks for the good review! I'm quite happy to get it :)

(Thisinterludeissoconvolutedyoudon'tevenunderstandit'sridiculous)

~DF

To my knowledge, part 4 is not out yet but is currently in production

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families affected by both Sunday and Monday's storms. Fortunately (though I'm sure they don't think so) there was only one casualty Sunday night, and Monday's storm only claimed 24. I say only because Monday night the news was saying 51 with the possibility of more. Though so many more have lost their homes.

I also appreciate those thoughts and prayers, it looks like it may be a rough tornado season, and while we (I live in Stillwater (which is right between the path of both storms. One went just North and the other just South) and there is family in Carney (about 25 miles South of Stillwater and around 45 miles North of Monday's tornado) haven't been affected by these two storms, there are more to come I'm sure.

I think you'll find the trick in writing is always in the execution...

Anyway, the series of events you described is not impossible, or even implausible, really. It only becomes trajeck if it's written in such a way as to seem shoehorned in as a cheap means to make us sympathize with the character and otherwise has no bearing on their personality or behavior. Someone who went through all that is going to be deeply affected by it, so if they appear to be getting along just fine until the plot demands angst, it's not gonna work. However, if they're shown throughout the story to have (for example) trouble trusting people and forming close relationships, and tend to react to stressors like they're still on the street rather than "normally," and have to do actual work to overcome these issues rather than magically getting over them when their LO appears, that's a real character.

Make sense?

~Neshomeh

"Very careful must we be. Down a dark path this line of thinking may take us."

Well said, misquoted Yoda. Applying the adjective "licensed" to one subset of fanfiction automatically categorizes the remainder as "not licensed." I worry that this might lead to a situation where the owners of intellectual properties wield more power over when and where fan works can be created/posted anywhere. I prefer the ambiguously legal, homogeneous mass of fanfiction as it currently stands.

A. How canon? Exactly as canon as the original creator says. Note I said "creator" and not "publisher." The author/whatever is the one whose head found the story, and they (to me) are the only one(s) who should be able to declare canon or uncanon anything written by another author.

B. Are we allowed to spork? Quite frankly, I'm going to be optimistic and assume that, even if it is merely publishers and not the original author who makes the decision of what gets published, that they will still weed out anything bad enough to be sporked in a PPC mission. Don't forget, folks: we spork the terrible of the bad, not just so-so stuff. Just because a mediocre-fic gets published this way, just because it doesn't perfectly jive with canon, doesn't suddenly make it mission-worthy.

Let's maybe watch and see what gets published before we have big, divisive arguments over what we can do with that material, maybe, please, hm? >.>

In my mind, fanfic is fanfic and canon is canon. Altering one variable (in this case, formal publication vs. online display) should not change that.

As far as badfic, that's at the chooser's discretion, and the amount of badfic published relies solely on who that judge is and how they filter the stories. If each fanfiction is actually weighed for their merit, edited, proofread, and commented upon before publication, I don't imagine the PPC will have much to worry about. If every fic passes muster, then we'll have a lot on our plates.

Well, it looks like stories will be moderated, so I guess that only decent enough stories will be published. Most of the worst charges are already forbidden, so I am hoping that we'll have decent stuff.

Of course, considering that the Inheritance Cycle, Twilight, and Fifty Shades of Gray got published, there might still be stuff deserving sporking.

About canonicity, I'd say that we need Word of God here - we need to know what the authors of the original works actually think about the Worlds.
As a rule of thumb, though, every story is probably going to be a subcanon of its own.

In fact, this initiative kinda reminds me of Japanese doujin works - in Japan the copyright and royalties riles are more lax, and fanmade novels and mangas are actually allowed to be sold in limited amounts at fairs like Comiket as it is viewed as free publicity for the main franchise.



This doesn't mean that I think that the PPC is out of jurisdiction here, just like it isn't about doujin works. Unless the author of the original canon themselves say that the story is canon or a official subcanon, it will stay as fanfiction for me, published or not. And so I will feel entitled to mission it if is bad enough.

It isn't probably going to happen, though - not only I would have to buy the story from Amazon, and I never bought anything from there at all, but I kinda doubt that anime or video game canons (the ones I'm active in PPC-wise) are going to be included in this initiative.


All in all, though, I think that Kindle Worlds is a good idea.

Is it bad that I want the BBC to allow Sherlock onto that list? Or any of the other fandoms I've written novel-length fics for?

are confusing me. Are you trying to say that you believe that they will NOT publish Suefics, or are you saying that you believe that they WILL publish Suefics?

Canon is, I think, defined by the original creator(s) of a 'verse.
Anything commenting on this 'verse not created by those who made the canon is considered fanon unless approved as canon by the creators (or those holding the rights - sadly, sometimes) and therefore sporkable.

...quite possibly the greatest human incarnation of an egotistical badfic author that cameras could ever record.

No, really.

Apparently, after the episode aired, it blew up the social media like crazy, to the point where I feel it may become a meme soon, if it isn't already.

It's people like the two represented in this video that reminds me why I so greatly enjoy MSTing badfics.

Because people like this REALLY DO EXIST, and their reactions to the littlest things are just amazing.

I...I do not think so. Doses of Bleepesteem should be cure enough, though.

As Neshomeh said earlier, you just got here. You don't need to come up with some agents right away (time to Permission is about one month), so sit back and enjoy the Board's mayhem!

Personally speaking, I feel a bit iffy about this proposed character. I've always seen PPC agents as pretty normal people who just wind up in crazy scenarios and do silly things to cope with the madness, and not so much as I've-been-through-twenty-seven-kinds-of-nasty professional grim hitmen.

In pictures:

More of this



and not as much this





Oh, and it's actually called FicPsych, not FicPsy...

Specifically, this one, which you started earlier today, is still active, and is on the exact same topic. Each new thread started pushes older ones further down the Board and finally off the front page, so double-posting is rather frowned upon.

Repeatedly emphasizing Permission-related topics such as agents when you just got here is also frowned upon, which I believe I mentioned in one of my replies to that thread.

~Neshomeh

I've seen it happen two ways:
1) it creates a mini based on the minis for that continuum, but slightly different in some way. Example: In one of KittyNoodles's missions, a badfic OC organization was mis-capitalized and created a mini-monster(basically a toy car), that was a different color from the others.
2) Or, a mini based on the appearance of that OC appears. I know I read a mission with 2) sometime in the last week, but I can't find it right now. The mini-OC in that mission was a small humanoid with washed-out colors due to the OC being humanoid and the poor descriptive quality of his fic of origin, but the washed-out colors may not be universal for all smaller-OC-style mini-OCs. I'd need to find another example to make sure.

Second question: a person who creates the first mission in a continuum comes up with the mini on their own. If there are no missions in that continuum, but there is an OFU, that OFU's minis are treated as the minis for the continuum unless that OFU's minis were transformed somehow to be better or more uniform guards, which actually happens considerably more often than I thought it did when I first found out that some OFUs did that.

We're chugging along, for the most part. The latest excitement is the Blackout event that grew organically from an April Fool's prank into a fully fledged Thing That Happened, with several writers contributing their own takes on it. This, in my opinion, is the best way to Make Things Happen. {= )

~Neshomeh

Hello!

I'm somewhat new here so... I'm Len.

Have a pamphlet on septicemic plague and some papaya-scented rubber martens. I pray you'll never need them, but you never know what life will bring!

Have some bleepolate ice cream for your welcome back to the board present!

And welcome back! Have some pie, since you've already received a cookie and gummyblees I figure pie's good, and everyone needs pie! :D

I don't think we've met! I'm Karen, have a cookie. ^_^

Welcome back aBoard and have some Bleepolate!

Welcome back anyways!

Here, have an urple gel pen.

-Aila

Help yourself to anything off of the table of welcome-back pastries!

What made you decide to come back to the Board? Are you planning on writing again?

Er, not that I'm claiming to be the entire PPC, or anything, but...

Hello! Nice to meet you! Are you new around here, or just returning?

Either way, have some Gummyblee Enterprises as a gift! I got my hands on some in an attempt to remind myself to see the new Star Trek movie, but it hasn't worked yet, and now I've got them all over the place, so...here. I'm sure you'll find a use for them (badfic tends to provide that...)

~DF

...but I'm now about halfway through them, and I keep getting random ideas to subvert. Also, there's a line that completely suits Jack Harkness halfway through the Mary Sue one, and it really amuses me...and it uses the word 'regenerate', which amuses me even more.

Thanks for sharing!

~DF

Is that they're too large for my phone to properly render, so I can't read them. :

Is that they're too large for my phone to properly render, so I can't read them. :

Loverly XD

ENJOY! ENJOY!

There's a Dalek telling me to calm down *hyperventilates* Oh my Doctor, there's a freaking Dalek telling me to calm down! I think I'm gonna faint- *faints*

I think I need this on a 10-minute loop so I can listen to it every night before bed XD

Those silly pit vipers and their link-posting. How do they do that with no arms, anyhow?

Glad you like it!

Why did I decide to write an interlude in the Knightmare continuum? It was something I loved when I was little, and it is a shame it was discontinued. I also thought the spellcasting mechanic was too good to miss, especially given my agents being in the Department of Technical Errors. Knightmare would definitely fall under the rare fandom catagory - so rare, in fact, that I don't think there is any real badfic to spork. As such, an interlude was my only chance... and the Blackout was the perfect opportunity.

If you're interested in the series, this website has some information: http://www.knightmare.com/.

You can find it here: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=243608;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

Excuse my poor filking skills in advance.

The Sunflower Official was sitting around,
Keeping agents busy so they wouldn't burn him down...

When suddenly Len burst from the shade
And hit the Flower with some defoliant spray

The Official called security and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Fearn
Who proceeded to open up a can of Skaro-fu
When Architeuthis came out of the blue...

So what I got from this was that Mickey Smith had a really sick daughter and Sherlock Holmes offered to help him in return for him becoming a domestic terrorist, and the Enterprise (plus Lara Tyler, the beloved of the Tenth Doctor before he ran off with Merida) is sent after Sherlock in response to the terrorism?

...well, then.

Since I've absolutely no actual knowledge of Star Trek I liked it well enough. I mean, I hear that the roles of Spock and Kirk were switched in regards to the warp drive scene and my friends and I all laughed at the 'KHAAAAAAN' shouting (mostly because I have friends who will shout that anyway, out of the blue) and enjoyed the occasional lens flare, but yeah. I'm pretty okay with the film despite it not passing the Bechdel test and stuff and I'm not entirely sure where the Cumbershower scene was supposed to come in (He doesn't look like he's enjoying it very much).

So.

That being said, I'm not sure how it played out in the Wrath of Khan but I feel like Benny!Khan was almost a parody Stu at times. Could've been that line when he said he was better at everything, could've been his special blood, could've even been the Single Tear. But I get the feeling that if anyone wanted to write a Sue-villain in anything in the future, they could easily refer to Benny!Khan.

I really liked it. My only issue was that the pacing was bad. All the intensity was at the end. Kahn is a fantastic villain, but there wasn't enough set up for his evilness before he started helping them out. My mother thought they should have set up the guy with the sick daughter near the beginning a bit more, as it would emphasized the whole "doing anything for your family" theme. Plus a few of the characters were a bit underused.
Good things were much more plenty, however, and that sold it for me. Lots of jokes and nods to the prime universe kept me spurting random giggles throughout the film. I was kind of freaking out, because as soon as Kirk went thought that glass door, I was thinking "Oh, goodness, it's going to be like Wrath of Kahn. Only with Kirk on the opposite side of the door." I almost yelled "KAAAAAHHHHNNN!" with Spock. But people in the theater would have gotten mad.
Anyway, now I want to go watch Wrath of Kahn again. *loads up Netflix*

To start with something positive, as a complete and total Trekkie, I also enjoyed the references to various TOS things (I love me some tribbles). I also enjoyed just about everything in the movie until the big reveal. I think Benny Cucumberpatch did very well with what he was given.

Now on to my (what will probably become very long) opinionated review.

Honestly, this movie proves to me that I can't trust JJ Abrams to give us nice things. I loved the 2009 movie because it was completely original and started fresh with the TOS characters. Keenser and Scotty will forever skip off to a rainbow sunset while holding hands. Anyways, on to Into Darkness. I like that we got to see Kirk get some rather serious consequences for his actions. (And we can ignore the painfully bad science with regards to 'stopping' the volcano.) I always enjoy seeing Pike because I love the original pilot (ignoring the ridiculous sexism, etc). His relationship with Kirk makes me go all fuzzy inside and his death really hit me. Go JJ for that one, I guess.

I like the mystery surrounding John Harrison. Kirk does his usual hint-of-Wesley-Crusher for the movies by noticing random things during the meeting after Harrison blows up the Archives. People have pointed out that there were some women in that meeting, but JJ obviously didn't spend enough time pointing the camera at them for me to notice. This is one of my huge issues with these movies- the lack of women. We get Uhura, whose only purpose seems to be to whinge about Spock while having occasional awesome moments (such as her interaction with the Klingons and later when she helps recapture Harrison). Carol Marcus was only 'useful' for an unnecessary scene in her underwear. I mean, they even wrote Bones hitting on her after she disarmed the torpedo. Way to undermine what she just did. I would have liked it if the writers put more thought into her character and let her have some interaction with Uhura (that isn't a conversation about men). I also grew fond of that one navigator who took over for Chekov. She seemed pretty cool for all her 30 seconds on screen.

Still on the topic of Carol Marcus, I knew that Khan was going to be involved because Marcus was only in The Wrath of Khan. I was hoping that it wouldn't be true, but of course it was. The writers could have used the opportunity of the AU to get really creative, but they decided to rehash an already great movie and whitewash it some more in the process. Look up some of John Cho's interviews where he takes every opportunity to slam JJ about the lack of PoC in the movie and you will see what I mean. Others have written about this issue, and probably even more eloquently, but I just about flipped when I heard Benny say he was Khan. Ricardo Montalban is Mexican, so of course in the sixties they did the all-the-brown-people-are-the-same crap, but at least Khan was an intelligent villain who happened to be a PoC. Many reviewers on the internet have commented about how intelligent villains are rarely PoC and you can probably find those on LJ among other places.

There isn't much to say about the plot because most of it was already done in Wrath of Khan. The random cameo of Nimoy!Spock really threw me out of the movie and didn't seem necessary. I suppose Admiral Marcus was an interesting villain. His death was gruesome and fitting to Khan's feelings about his betrayal. The contrast between a warmongering admiral and a largely peaceful Starfleet makes for interesting conflict and I think Marcus could have been the villain for a completely different story. I mean, this plot could have been done with many tweaks without Khan. One thing about Khan that is so interesting is his relationship with Kirk and how the events of Space Seed affected Khan and lead him to want to get revenge on a character that we actually care about. I think a problem with the movie is that I don't care about Marcus and there isn't really much between Kirk and Khan besides some manipulation.

What was up with the Klingon design, though? I mean they looked something freaky.

TLDR; the whitewashing, lack of women, and a thrown away opportunity to do a new story really make this movie a disappointment. They should have just repeated the deleted shower scene on a loop for two hours.

Because I loved it! I mean, seriously loved it. After it was done, I fell to my knees like a religious person after they'd gotten a revelation from their God. (Yes, I just compared Star Trek to religion. It's not like the fandom is anything like a cult, right?) I nearly cried. You see, I had such high expectations: a Star Trek movie with Benedict Cumberbatch, supposedly an iconic TOS villain, and I had been so afraid that it wouldn't meet my expectations.

And it did! It was everything I hoped and wished, and...

I should probably stop gushing and actually say what I loved. It's just...it was a profound experience.

I too loved all the references to prime universe Trek. They helped me feel like this was Star Trek, the universe I was used to. Rewatching the first reboot after watching lots of prime universe Trek, it took until McCoy's "Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!" line to make me feel like it was Trek. This one, it was pretty early on when they mentioned the Prime Directive. And just catching all the references made me feel smart...let's see:

-Offhand reference to Gorn
-Tribble
-KHAN!!!
-Section 31
-An evil admiral
-Scotty's a miracle worker
-Sulu being captain
-Redshirt

I'll probably get more after I see it again tomorrow evening.

Also, I loved how the main moral of the movie was that Starfleet was exploration, not military. Most of the previews before it were apocalypse movies, and it was wonderful to see it affirming Star Trek's vision of a peaceful future.

And Benedict Cumberbatch, is, as usual, fabulous. The only thing I can say is that he doesn't look much like Ricardo Montalban, and most reboot characters look like their prime counterparts. But he acted well, as expected.

And speaking of acting, I think that the actors were getting closer to their TOS counterparts. Dare I say, Chris Pine plays Kirk better than Shatner - the same character, but with less...scenery chewing and...excessive hamminess. And random...pauses. But everyone was much closer to their original counterparts. My theory is that they tried to lure in new Trekkies with the first reboot, which was not as close to original Trek. Now, they know they've converted people, so they're making this one closer. Or the actors have had more time to study up.

Also, TOS didn't develop characters other than Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, and this seems to be going towards developing them more. Special mention goes to Scotty and his heroism. I'm much more of a Scotty fan than I was.

Sadly, no movie is perfect. There was one thing I didn't like, and didn't like about the first one: Spock/Uhura. It lacked development, which made it feel very strange. Like, a female character can't just be a well-rounded, interesting person. She has to be the love interest just because she's the one female main character? Deanna Troi and Riker end their relationship because they're serving on the same ship. Wouldn't Spock see the same logic? Uhura as love interest is a step back for Star Trek. You go from B'Elanna and Tom, whose relationship developed over several seasons of Voyager, to this. It makes me sad to think that there's still this prevalent idea in our society that male characters can stay single, but female characters must be the love interest. And don't get me started on Carol Marcus's blatant fanservice. You know, writers, Star Trek fans aren't all straight guys anymore.

But I hate to end on that note, so I'll end with how this is the first Star Trek movie where I've really understood where the Spirk shippers are coming from. I'm pretty sure it's just my squicked out reaction to shipping anything with Shatner, combined with my dislike of Spock/Uhura, but for some reason the reverse scene to the one in Wrath of Khan felt much more slashy this time around. I really felt the depth of their feelings for each other much more than I did when I had to wade through Shatner-speak. That scene choked me up in the best possible way.

Overall, it was awesome, and I'm looking forward to seeing it again tomorrow night.

And now anyone reading this is probably glad I'm done rambling.

...I haven't gotten to the Discworld book in which the Glorious 25th of May is mentioned, but I shall celebrate anyways.

I can't find any lilac, though. *sulks*

-Aila

Or maybe not...

Alas, our lilacs have already been and gone for the year, as usual. They just don't last very long. {= (

However, this marks about ten years of being a PPCer for me. I started counting from this holiday, since I can't remember when I actually joined but I do remember being thoroughly confused the first time I encountered a thread like this. ^_^

I'll probably end up celebrating by doing laundry, since that's where most of my towels happen to be at the moment.

Cheers, everyone!

~Neshomeh, officially Internet-ancient.

Hooray! I need to go find me some lilacs. Pity it's so wet out over here.

Happy 25th of May to everyone, and may the odds be ever in your favour... hang on, I think I've got confused again.

Fittingly enough, I've spent the last week nerding about Hitchhiker's Guide. *waves towel in celebration*

I like to combine things by carrying around a lilac towel. I'm not sure how I will fit Star Wars into it this year...

Glorious 25th of May to all! *wears lilac and carries a lightsaber and a towel* :D

We're actually going to be celebrating the glorious birth of the People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road tomorrow! Well, sort of. We're going to rent and watch the new Les Miserables - which for some reason (can't think why) seems vaguely familiar...

...

...

... did Victor Hugo visit Ankh-Morpork?!?!?

hS

And the same to you! It's still the twenty-fourth, here, but the reminder is much appreciated. I think there might actually still be lilacs in bloom somewhere around here, which would mark the first time ever that I've actually been able to wear a lilac, rather than scrounging up a vaguely purple flower.

"I have tried very hard to keep her out of Sue territory, and she is deeply flawed in numerous ways,"

More often than not, unless the flaws in question actually effect the character beyond giving them a shield against critics in the form of "Mary Sues are flawless, so my characters can't be Sues because they have flaws", it really only adds fuel to the Sue fire.

What works better is having the character discover these flaws as they go along. It's more realistic then, and gives a more human feel to the character - makes them relatable, if you will - and doesn't end up seeming like a preemptive defense against potential critics like the "Oh yeah, and I have such and such things wrong with me" approach does.

For my character Iris, terrible misfortune is her flaw, and it's because of one instance where she had the misfortune of running head-long into a dragon and all she had was a bow and a hunting knife. From there, it developed into the full symptom of not being able to do hardly anything without something bad happening to her, such as her boyfriend Drake chucking a pebble and knocking her out of a boat from the force of the throw.

...because this immediately morphed into "A question regarding my character and plot."

*blushing*

...Or maybe I'm just exhausted... It would explain all these ellipses... The marks of a sluggish mind...

You are correct; Mary-Sue litmus tests tend to test for symptoms. This is because there is unfortunately no uniform definition for Mary-Sue across all of fandom, but we think we know it when we see it. However, I believe that if you can pass the PPC standard, you can pass anybody's standard (unless your critic is a purist who hates any OC, much less any female OC).

The PPC Wiki page on Mary Sues gives an adequate definition, but I highly prefer the one given by Neshomeh in a not-so-recent discussion: a Mary Sue
"A. does not behave like a believable-for-the-context person, B. does not get believable-for-the-context treatment from others, and C. is successful just because the plot says so."

That said, the mere existence of a relationship between your OC and Thorin Oakenshield is not, in and of itself, a sentence of Suedom. What is important is that the OC look like she belongs in Middle-earth. So, a few questions:

1) Did you explain how your OC could possibly be the daughter of Thorin Oakenshield? E.g., Does Thorin has so many children that your OC could presumably have been one of them (but was never centrally figured in the canon story), or are you just trying to shoehorn her into the Oakenshield family?

2) Does she act like a daughter of Thorin? Thorin being a dwarf king, does she act like a canonical Tolkien-verse dwarf princess would act? And if not, did you create a plausible reason why not?

The difference between a well-written OC and a Mary-Sue is not the mere presence or absence of faults; a Sue is a Sue because she warps canon.

A canon's-relative OC isn't necessarily doomed to become a Sue, but they would have a harsher start than most other OCs that just start out with tangential connections like being from the same clan or homeland as a canon character.
You'd need to adequately explain the canon character's past history in a way that allows for the character's presence without distorting the sequence of their past life enormously(assuming you aren't going for a full-on AU here, because those have different standards for what does and does not constitute acceptable changes to history), and you'd need to come up with a plausible reason why the OC would never have been mentioned by the canon in their journeys.

In Thorin's case, this would be especially tricky, since he's said to be among the last of his line of Dwarf Lords and there would probably be a big to-do about him having a child, but it's not impossible.

And it's not all about piling on flaws, even though giving a character flaws is a big part of making them seem realistic. It's about piling on what makes a character or circumstance interesting. Not what makes them "good", because there's a distinct difference there. I'd object to the term "piling on" as well, but I'm not going to start dissecting word choice here.

See, one of a Sue's main problems is that she forces the canon characters to feel bad for her, or love her, or be interested in her, but the readers are not. If a character is interesting and well-formed enough, a canon's reaction to their situation should be something that would be a logical reaction based on their character and how well they know the OC.
While a Sue would cause someone to fall in love with her or sympathize with her immediately just because she's "different" or some such, a more well-rounded OC would cause such matters to happen gradually, or at least logically, based on the characters she's affecting and their personalities. People don't get suspicious with Mary Sue, they don't get angry at Mary Sue unless it's set up to make her look better, and they don't ever second-guess her or make her pull her own weight. A well-rounded OC, on the other hand, should be susceptible to the same problems that a canon character in their situation would undergo, and would thus possibly have to deal with all of those.
I'd say the first of those three especially with a Thorin's-daughter OC. Where did she come from? the other dwarves would think. Why did Thorin never mention his past relationships? Does this mean he's got a lover somewhere? They'd see the strange occurrence as what it was, and react accordingly, and this would probably make your OC uneasy, and she would react. That might actually place seeds for a character arc for someone there.

In addition to what I said before, you need to make the events plausible within the world you created or are using, you need to have setup and buildup, and everything needs to lead together. If something starts happening seemingly "just because", you've got a problem. If reactions become overblown or too unrealistically subdued, that's another problem, etcetera etcetera. As long as you keep in mind what you want to do with the story and what to stay away from getting there to keep the characters from getting Sue-d, there's nothing keeping a canon's-duaghter OC from becoming a decent and well-rounded member of a cast of characters.

I read it a while ago, but one of my close friends is in love with that book. I should probably read it again, it was really awesome.

I loved that book!

The kissing scene-- I have no words. :')

Although I must say, reading it taught me a valuable lesson in quality over quantity regarding metaphors. While there were plenty of gems in there- 'specially the colors- sometimes it seemed like a desperate grope for poetic devices, such as the cabinets that were the shape of grief. Almost (dare I say it?) urple phrases every now and then.

Apart from that nitpicky complaint, it was one of the best novels I've read.

I found Death as the narrator beautiful, creative, amusing... and oddly frustrating. (Frustrating as in, I can't believe I didn't think of that first, darnit!)

And the bomb drills... *reverent sigh*

Thanks for the oppurtunity to gush about it!

I also really, really loved the colors. And thinking about the end has me tearing up a lot, thanks a lot.

Wow, I just read this a few months ago! I have no idea where it came from, but a friend of mine was reading it and it sounded intriguing so I stole it during the times she wasn't actively reading it. I knew that title looked familiar, when I first read it I thought for some crazy reason you were trying to refer to "The Thief Lord" by Cornelia Funke, but when I read the description, I realized what you were really talking about. ^^;

Such a great book! I little weird at first, but once you get used to it being Death narrating his observations on the character's lives, it's a great read, and an interesting view into Nazi Germany during the war.


Guess I'll do this too, just in case :D
---Spoilers!---

Oh I was sobbing when her dad died! And Rudy! I loved the basement readings, how her dad was spared over a seat, them standing up to the Germans during the Jew walks. The mayor's wife ended up being so sad and so cool. Such wonderful metaphors too, you are absolutely right!

I'd tackle-hug you, but I dunno how you are about physical touch, so I'll just offer you a cookie instead.

Vast von moment... *spits out vampire teeth* Ah, much better. Sorry about that, I was just playing Dracula yesterday and forgot to drop the voice. Anyway, welcome!

Ah, an Anime fan I see. Well, I must admit, I am not a huge fan of the art style, but feel free to enjoy what you will.

Now, by custom I have to give you a gift. Let's see... Do you like Fullmetal Alchemist? Well, here, have a cheap copy of the Philosopher's Stone. Use it's powers for good and mild amusement.

Aah. Welcome gift, welcome gift... Here. One ice box filled with cookies of your choice. Don't ask why they're in the ice box.

Welcome aboard! 0w0

Here's a virtual penumbuk padi. Useful to punch rice, but don't ask me why we like to punch rice. We Nusantaraeans just do.

Well, hello there and stuff. Take this pen for proofreading! It may or may not contain glittery Sue blood. But doesn't everybody correct things with red ink?

We really do. We like to eat them with bleepolate sauce--

Sorry. I think that's the lousy part of my sense of humor talking.

We really do like newbies, though, although we do tend not to eat them. Actually, I don't think there's ever been a record of us eating them... *looks around shiftily*

Anyway! Hi, welcome to the Board! I'm DawnFire, as you can probably guess. We seem not to share any fandoms, but don't worry! I can still give you even more bleeproducts (you seem to be gaining rather a lot) as a Welcome Gift! Here, have some Swiss Bleepolate and some Gummyblee Stars (which can be ironic if Lucky Star has nothing at all to do with stars, and appropriate if it has everything to do with stars). They're quite useful for reading badfic...

~DF

Welcome, welcome to the PPC! Here, have an Odd Container as a welcome present!


Odd Container
Item Level 1
Chance on Opening: Receive one huggle OR one spray of confetti -- your choice.
[This container is perfectly spherical and fashioned from glite-painted wood. Its weight changes at odd intervals, and you can't shake the feeling that opening it may prove hazardous to your health]

...Ignore the flavor text, it doesn't like me.

Welcome to the PPC. It seems that most of the standard questions (Have you read the Constitution?/read the Original Series?/seen the Wiki?) have all been asked or alluded to already, leaving but one left: How did you run across the PPC?

Either way, I hope that you find your stay here to be pleasurable. As SpecstacularSC said, guiding people with writing issues tends to be our thing. Why, we recently helped someone concerned that she was writing a Suefic because her OC was slated to be related to a canon character!

But enough Serious Business; time for gifts! So...
*rummages through Pokemon-trainer-issue bag of holding*
Aha!
*pulls out item*
Have a Spirited Away poster! Hope you like it!

I feel so seasoned! Two newbies since I joined! (Which would be a whopping week ago. -.-)

Indulge in this delectable platter of marinated loon liver. No, not the liver, the platter. Don't be disgusting. Who eats loon liver anyway?

Also, have a dysfunctional peashooter. It works superbly for launching green beans at high velocity, but I can't get it to shoot a single darned pea...




And because you don't think anyone would bother with questions...

What's your favorite color?

Do you like Cane toads?

Which would surprise you more, an acrobatic komodo dragon swinging from your ceiling while spewing black jellybeans out of its tarnished oboe... or Superman sneezing?

Name one of the emperors who reigned during the Visigoth ocupation of the Roman empire.

What is your great-uncle's middle name?

Do you spontaneously burst into giggles whenever someone mentions deceased puppies?

Would you rather eat hummus without pita bread or pita bread without hummus?

You say your are confident with your spelling and grammar skills... but are you confident in your ability to intimidate a honey badger? O.e


I'm Len, by the way. Nice to meet you.

...share some of my chemical supplies, but there's the problem that I don't have any.

I hope you've received enough Bleep* to last, though.

Welcome, fellow newbie, I'm Kitt! Have a bar of Blip Blap!

Be sure to ask questions. Trust me, you'll need to.

Greetings, new friend! Have a auto-sweat drop emitter!

And, not to worry! We'll have that overconfidence knocked down in a jiffy!

Always with the new members and the-

Ha haaa, I can't take myself seriously enough to finish that.

Just messing with you - welcome to the board! No worries about your issues, we're here to help you fix them. It's kind of the PPC's whole deal, really.

Well, that and general wackiness.

As a welcome gift, have some BleepNerds, I have an excess stock of this stuff anyhow. Brain bleach and tiny, tangy candies combined into sweet tooth bliss against bad fanfiction! :D

Ooh, a newbie! Hi!

And th'art not boring, really, even if I don't know any of your fandoms. I'm a fantasy book girl, mostly.

As for a gift, hmmm... Oh! Here, have one (1) Lined Infinite Notebook, featuring urple covers and wilver binding. Open the package at your eyes' own risk.

And since no one else has asked, have you read the Origial Series?

-Aila

You mentioned Lucky star, but do you have any other anime fandoms you can think of? Or books, movies, videogames, other cartoons, or live-action TV? A list of fandoms tends to be appreciated, especially since it can let people know what gifts to give you.

Oh, also. Wiki link. That's The Board Constitution, in case you missed it, and it connects to the main wiki, to catch you up on the spin-offs.

Let's see, do I have anything anime-related in my gift bags... (rummages) Ah, here we go. Have a spiky-haired wig! Shock the barber! Convince your friends you're a manga protagonist! Roast marshmallows on the pointy ends!

Also, you created a Naruto mini down there, so I will also present you with Naurto, the mini-Kurama! Also called a mini-Kyūbi, but nobody's keyboard has that weird ū letter, so people who call it that will approximate it to Kyuubi in missions and such.

Don't sell yourself short; we all start somewhere. As for writing talent, you're probably better than you think. Why not link to samples of your writing?

Have a fountain pen (urple ink so use it sparingly) and welcome to the PPC!

Welcome! It would appear that I'm the first person to welcome you to the Board. (I'll leave all the jokes for the vets.)

But, yeah. In case you haven't already, check out the Wiki and the Constitution and all that shtuff.

As for your obsession with Japanese animation and illustration, do you follow Naruto? Ever heard of Studio Ghibli?

But enough questions for now- everyone else will ask plenty. Have a fluffy velociraptor!

Witness a perfect example of Poe's law in all of its plotless, grammatically incorrect glory.

The Quest for the Holey Grail
Harry Potter x Lord of the Rings x Arthurian legend

Enjoy with moderation.

For those who can't stand reading it, let the manwithoutabody's soothing voice guide you through the story.

What's a Mau5?

Also, I'm just as pretty sure that the category is referring to this: The Producers

Which reminds me I had a plan to write a mission for the Organisation... Also I spotted Phobos (Deimos) and... I think that's it.

I almost want to see an Electropunk fic, though I fear that many metalevels might cause our internets to escape again.

Also I didn't spot myself on there, but then again I might have not clicked on enough bits (and I haven't been on the Board in a while, sadly). I wonder how firemagic would even translate - combustionwitchcraft, perhaps?(KarrinBlue could probably be something like HekateAzure)

Very entertaining, although I must admit to being slightly disappointed that it isn't another actual TCDA story - which is what I'd been expecting from the subject line you used. However, this was still good fun to read.

I'm pretty sure I spotted myself on there, and I managed to identify a few others.

-the Irish Samurai

Although it did take me several seconds to understand what a 'flawlit' was.

Also, I'm now very tempted to either change my screenname to Eos'Flame, which sounds very nice, or else to write something set in that Board AU (which is more likely to happen).

Also, lovely use of threads.

Electropunk TCDA. ELECTROPUNK TCDA. That is wonderful and amazing.

Who's Professor Challenger? I feel like I should know, considering that Eos'Flame has just written a report set in his world, but I have no idea.

And hey, goodbye anonymous posts! Handwriting is all we need...:D

All in all, wonderful. Although who, I wonder, is the Unnamed Academian?

~DF

In the list of Actions in which I am Forbidden to Undertake at the TCDA, there is an item about the Great Detective deducing the true nature of the Citadel.

Is this a Mass Effect reference or was that meant to be some other Citadel?

Eos'Flame = DawnFire - Eos is the Greek goddess of the the dawn, and flame = fire.

Daisy Snowbound = Lily Winterwood - Flower first name, winter/snow. Also a liking for the works of "the Great Detective".

O'Ershadowed Eagle = you, hS, but that was mostly because of "Davillo and Serenity". Otherwise, I'm not sure how it fits.

Aikaterine = Karen - this took some thought, but Katherine is the short, Anglicized form of Aikaterina, and Karen is further a shortened form of Katherine.

Deimos = Phobos - Simple mythology reference. Also the two moons of Mars.

Psyche = Neshomeh - Nesh has stated that her name means soul, and Psyche means soul in Greek. Also, "Psyche" is in charge of a reference tome, and Nesh does a lot of the wiki organization.

Great Auk = Tawaki - The response to the newbie thread involved a "First Dotterel" - aside from the phrasing, a quick search on "dotterel" revealed it to be a bird in the plover family.

SlyWitch = VixenMage - took some thought, but now that I see it it seems obvious.

Unknown Graphologist = Nameless Admin

I'm confused on the identity of A, though. PPCers usually have complicated, creative names.

This made me want to read the TCDA, and while I have difficulty understanding some of the AU terminology and don't know some of these agents' prime counterparts, I find the imitation of Victorian writing really accurate and the stories entertaining and clever.

I confess, I've never been a fan of the Victorian era. Too...proper, and the female fashions have never appealed. But against my prior judgments, I do like the TCDA, and may try to write in it some time.