Clicky!

Thanks to Outhra for SPaG checking! Much appreciated! ^_^

Would you mind reading through Part 3 for SPaG before I post it? If not don't worry, but I thought it can't hurt to ask!

Sorry for the delay with updating by the way! ^^'

...now exists!

I love that they got stuck in the Portal universe. Can't wait to see what happens next!

I especially love how GLaDOS taunts the two techies.

Awaiting future instalments with great anticipation!

I look forward to reading Part Two. :3

So, between the point in which the full stampede of ypurs escaped Slorp and the point in which they entered Aperture Science, there was an unknown period of time in which twenty-three of them were loose as a small but separate group, and then captured in a forcefield through unknown circumstances.

(rubs hands together) And now I have a time frame for my Blackout interlude.

I love a ragged but orderly timestream. It's so much more fun to come up with new events when you know where the gaps are that they could go into.

1.) I suppose it depends on the writer of the particular agent/recruit. If you're talking about in-fic recruitment, then it's usually a simple offer for the recruit to have 'a chance to, y'know, continue to exist', and then send them to the Marquis de Sod, who takes care of all of the paperwork, partner/RC assignments, etc, etc.

If you're talking about out-of-fic recruitment, then I'm not sure. It probably varies from person to person.

2) I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this question. Could you clarify what you're asking?

I think it's just oddly phrased. Are you asking if someone could write about the period of the Blackout when the shields first went down? If so, yes, you can.

I can answer the other one, though.

A recruit can be anyone that the agents assigned to a mission decides is sufficiently non-Sueish enough to be involved in PPC matters. Usually they pick bit characters that impress them in some way for this, though supporting characters or even secondary Sues have been recruited before.

Then, to find out how the new arrival will work best in the organization, a recruit's skills and pre-existing canon knowledge are determined by the Department of Personnel, and they assign agent preparation schedules, preferred canons to work in, and the best Department to give the new Agent to. The latter is the Marquis de Sod's job, which is why most agents drop off the new recruits at his office.

Based on prior ability, experience, and the workload of whoever's doing the paperwork that day, sometimes there's a training process, sometimes the recruit decides or is assigned to spend time as an intern to gain canon knowledge or general prestige before getting full agent status, and sometimes extenuating circumstances prevent a recruit from becoming an agent for a while.

Obviously, in order to become an Assassin, an agent would have to be able to use at least one deadly weapon proficiently, a Bad Slasher would need above-average smut tolerance, and an Agent in an Infrastructure Department would need to be able to fix things or work in financial matters or whatever happens there. There are a lot of Infrastructure Departments, and I don't remember them all.

Does this work as your answer, or did you want a slightly different one?

He's not the first mini to appear in a published work. At OFAS, we have a mini named Ryker who appeared in The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot. In fact, that's where I found him. He hasn't appeared yet, but I was planning to make him have a superiority complex.

Probably: Why did you bring this into my office? You do know we are not permanently rooted like our non-sentient cousins, right? Wait, what are you doing? OW! Stop! Security! Captain Dandy, somebody, stop this crazy agent!

Now, flamethrowers and weed whackers are another matter entirely.

"So long as you keep that thing out of my office, then we won't be having any issues on the matter."

I assume.

Here, have some Bleep'n'ms and an Unspecified Plushie!

Have some Bleep Blap! It's teh bleeprin version of kit kat! 98% arsenic free!

We all have those brain farts. Anyway, welcome to the board.

May I present you with a pint of bleepolite chocolate ice cream, with extra chocolate? I think I've finally got the formula down. Eh, everyone I feed it to seems to enjoy it.

Welcome to the board! Have a replacement vocabulary to replace you're lost one.

It's okay, the PPC can do that. Welcome to the Board!
Please have this one (1) Fluffy Wambler. It's native to the Dwarf Fortress continuum, but lovably soft and cuddly anywhere!
See you around the Board!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Totally not related to the Resonance Cascade.

Since you're a Mario fan too, I'd like to add a Fire Flower to your growing pile of e-gifts!

Greetings new friend! Have a Voidshard!

And then embrace the stillness of eternity!

How did you first run across the PPC?

Wow, quite a few fandoms! And some of overlap with mine, too!

But before I go any further, the obligatory newbie gift!
*rummages through Pokemon-verse bag of holding*
Ta-dah! Have a Pokemon Adventures-verse Ditto, able to transform into anything that it has seen at will, not just whatever is in front of it.

Have some lemming repellent!

Currently on Mission 8 of the Original Series. Besides that, I've read most of Redwall missions done by Laburnum.

Also, would it be rather excessive to put a Sue in Pathfinder's Plane of Earth, plant some explosives, and cause a cave-in while singing and playing "Can't Stop the Rock" on accordion?

Or is that just ridiculous enough?

I'll be writing a while. Redwall, Old Kingdom/Abhorsen, Inheritance, Harry Potter, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, Pokémon, Legend of Zelda, Kirby, Metroid, Halo, Asura's Wrath, MLP: Friendship is Magic (formerly), Mischief Makers, Marvel Cinematic Universe (for some reason, I think bog-standard comics aren't nerdy ENOUGH for me), Hellsing, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Dragon Ball Z, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Yotsuba&!, Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes, FoxTrot, Vocaloid, Touhou, Transformers, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Disney Animated Canon, Questionable Content, Menage a 3, El Goonish Shive, Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei, Daily Life with Monster Girl, Katawa Shoujo, League of Legends, Awkward Zombie, the Order of the Stick, Pathfinder, and Tremors.

And that's just off the top of my head.

I'm a newbie too!

Here, have a pillow to hide all your gifts under!

Although I'll probably forget it, but eh, I like giving weird nicknames nobody uses.

Let's see...
Voyd, space, blank, bloom, fuchsia, lady, Sealand, fort, pillow, feather, dinosaur, excavate, archaeology, Layton, puzzles, Legend of Zelda, Nintendo, Kirby, penguin, suit, costume, superhero, Captain America, shield, Shieldon...?
Darn it, that was far too long. Oh well, looks like you're going to be Shieldon, for about three posts until I forget it. Hope you like cute things!

What are your fandoms?

Here, have two bouncy balls, three art pencils, two packets of hot cocoa, and this shiny plastic bag!

Welcome to the board. Most members (including myself) are mostly harmless, unless bearing badfic. :)

Nice to have you here! Here, take these cookies. Don't mind the bits of burnt flesh.

Have a cap gun that eliminated a black hole from existence once. It's broken now, but it used to do that kind of thing all the time.

Wiki link! That's the link to the Board Consitution, which everybody should read and at least one person posts in every newbie thread.

Recapture your vocabulary with this psionic scanner! It's got to be hiding around here somewhere. If it reveals the mental signatures of someone hiding in your house, that's just a bonus! Well, finding them is a bonus. Not them being there. Make sure you find out why they're in your house if you detect any.

Belated. Yeah. But...well...it's us! And we're welcoming you! Hello!

I have an Unspecified Plushie and some Bleep'n'ms for you!

Well, I must give you something now, mustn't I?

I offer you a virtual magical leatherskin. Imbued with magical properties to fulfill your wish, at the price of a piece of of it falling off. Be careful, if your leatherskin are all used up, all the wishes will be reverted.

Well hello! I'm relatively new here, so ya.

Nice to have you on the board. Have some bleepolate ice cream, extra chocolate! Lord knows, with all the badfics we discuss, you'll need it.

Welcome to the Board! Have a pie. It's probably not poisoned.
...Probably

We're glad to have you on the Board!
Please have this one (1) Fluffy Wambler. It's native to the Dwarf Fortress continuum, but lovably soft and cuddly anywhere!
See you around the Board!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. It's like a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, but in reverse.

Greetings, new friend! Have a laser-rainbow dragonfly!

NOW BACK TO HOMEWORK

Well, congratulations on coming out into the light! I myself could have been considered a lurker, as I spent months reading PPC missions before I introduced myself onto the Board.

But enough about me, what about you? How did you first run across the PPC? What are your fandoms? And most importantly, have you read the Original Series and the PPC Constitution?

Oh yeah, your gift! Well, given that you are a lurker...
*rummages through Pokemon-Trainer-issue bag of holding*
Have a Wobbuffet!

Have some lemming repellent.

That the "doodlebug" is one of the names of ant lions, given because of the way they create their funnel traps (It kind of looks like they're doodling around in spirals) and that ant lions look kind of awesome? And they achieve that level of awesome and funny-looking as grubs?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion

Not that I'm implying you're funny looking, I can't see through the internet.

So here, have a bouncy ball, a sample pack of chocolates, half a stapler, a spring, and one blue pen. See you next time you pop out of the woodwork!

As an unlurking day gift, I have a nickname for you!

Hmmm...
Rubra, cobra, snake, Sam, fireman, hose, pants, Legolas, trees, Ents, old, slow, tortoise, hare, wig, ponytail, pony, Claire...?
Oh well, Claire it is, whether you're male, female, or anything otherwise!

Don't lurk! Come into the light!

I'm more or less some idiot, but here, have a thing!

...I don't know what it is...

Well, if you're going to go back to lurking, take an invisibility cloak so you remain undetected.

The Mini-Mogget Adoption Agency

As a spoiler for the review: she's also received a note from Agent Colt of Building Maintenance...

hS

These were both fun to read! In "Adoption," I like that you keep the mini-Moggets an active presence throughout the entire story. It's also good that you gave both agents a reaction to the situation, and kept that characterization going throughout the entire story.

In "Delivery," I like how the foods being eaten for breakfast at the beginning reappear at the end to show the agents that the Irish Samuri is a mini. It makes for some efficient bookend details around the start and finish. Skeet's complete turnaround with Kur'nak upon seeing the AC/DC shirt was funny, too.

SPaG parade!

The Mini-Mogget Adoption Agency
"'. . . it’s your job to keep these guys out of my way while I move this sofa, alright?'" ("all right")

Delivery of a Mini-Boarder
"'Hey, don’t worry about, big guy, maybe next time yeah?'" ("it" after "about"/comma after "time")

"'Go on, Kun’nak, you know which one it is.'" (It's funny becuase a story in which a mini-Wrathguard is a character has produced a mini-Wrathguard itself.)

"Kun’ark passed Skeet a box . . ." (Two mini-Wrathguards. Kun'ark actually shows up in at least a few places, so be sure to double-check them all.)

"'sign here please.'" (capital "s" in "sign"/comma after "here")

"'Alright, whatever.'" ("All right")

Just got through reading these, and I think the first is my favorite. I thought the part about sawing through the concrit, and having it spit out little broken-down chunks of actual constructive criticism, was very clever, and then you went and added a reference to breaking the fourth wall, which made me laugh out loud. I also liked the "Warning, this is not a drill" gag. Well done!

I hope Kur'nak does get to come back and hang out with Skeet sometime. Probably do him good, and I'm sure the conversation would be interesting to read. *g*

And now some nitpicks. I spotted a typo in the first interlude:

"Skeet had never managed to get the hand of navigating HQ" - should be "hang."

And some awkward wording in the second:

"it was more just that she could practically feel her arteries hardening just from" - you probably only need the second one of those.

Also, I think "mini" should be capitalized in both titles.

Also also, a thought: there was a thing a while back about how it would be a good idea for FicPsych to have therapy animals. I don't know if it ever went anywhere (it wasn't my idea), but I'm wondering, how intelligent are the mini-Moggets, and are there one or two who might be amenable to being attached to the department? I figure you can't go too wrong with effectively immortal fluffy white kitties. {= )

~Neshomeh

Feels as if that fourth-wall breaking chainsaw managed to cause some dimensional bleeding between the Board and HQ.

Yeah...that mini boarder is totally not my creation...nope...

Nice interludes, though with the amount of interference coming from the board into HQ recently, things might be getting interesting soon. On second thought, when is HQ ever uninteresting?

The Board is leaking through into PPC HQ! The last time this happened, we lost two Department Heads and the DIO! MAAASSSS PAAAANNIIIIC! (blasts airhorn)

Actually... it might not be that bad this time. One mini isn't going to do that much. Keep an eye on him, though. If he starts exhibiting knowledge of the Boarders, contain him before he leaks others of his kind into Headquarters.

Oh, and I read your mission to the Old Kingdom continuum after I looked through the first interlude, and have a mini of my own to give you. (passes the mini "Muphry's Law" to the Irish Samurai) You might want to fix that.
In the interim, I imagine the mini looks a bit like this:


Edward Murphy. By the way, do you have any idea how to make images smaller? Any bigger than that and it'd be too big.

I suppose some minis might be averse to certain condiments, yes, but once a mini has been used in a story, it can only be changed if given numerous unassailable reasons why it shouldn't be that form. I know, it disappointed me, too. There are a few continua I'd like to see minis changed in.

Those hypothetical hydra heads would hastily become hard to handle. (dodges tomatoes) But seriously, some spellings (Zues comes to mind) would quickly have so many heads that they wouldn't be able to move, or see in front of itself, or... well, I'll show you what Rich Burlew has to say on the subject.

Maybe if we find another continuum where a minotaur plays a notable role, mini-minotaurs could become a thing, but mini-hydras... would need to be revised.

*lights off 'splosions* yay Pretzel!

Congrats! Well done indeed!

*throws confetti* *waits for the Supernatural fandom joke*

~DF

Here's to doing awesome things with your life and stuff. /doffs imaginary deerstalker

*throws much confetti and offers many cookies*

Well done, most bendy of bread-based snack foods. Now, take some well deserved time to celebrate! Use that stat boost well.

-Phobos

Bulletproof Angels. Run for your lives!

Now I'm excited for Blank Sprite. I'm itching to know what happens to Agent Sergio and Nikki...

...mostly because I hadn't placed down a timeline of events when I was editing your piece but:
the timestamp for the warning and the message for the Doctor should be either 3 April or 4 April 2013, and I'm leaning more towards 4 April. The blackout has already gone through 2013 HST for two days; it may not seem as long to Sergio and Nikki because of time distortions, but it has been long for others.

I'm kinda curious now, how /will/ Sergio and Nikki wind up not being PPC in a year?

Wow. You've really set up an interesting scenario here. I'm going to be watching curiously to find out how you cause Sergio and Nikki to disappear. (If they even do. You didn't show them absolutely confirming that they weren't around in 2013; they just didn't see any sign of themselves. *fingers crossed*)

My favorite scene of all was when the blackout first hit, and in the hallway, agents are starting to peek out of their RCs with different light sources. It's a minor moment, but to me, it's a great way of showing how HQ united over this, and how different agents from different backgrounds have their own ways of dealing with problems.

The first one was detained in the part of HQ that intersected with the Harry Potter continuum, the second was captured by the Captain Dandy, and it couldn't have been the third because that one was subsumed by Slorp soon after it was first encountered. I would have asked if this was a fourth angel, and then I saw that bit about Sergio's gun being designed to take out armored vehicles, so I'm pretty sure a Weeping Angel could survive two grenades to the face.

This was a good interlude! Poor Corolla, though. She stays behind to feel safer, and then gets caught in another time-shift and has to sit alone in the dark for three hours.

My Agents have used the help of an intern in some of their sporkings; the intern was written by a friend of mine who occasionally appears on the Board.

The first time around I wrote the story with her looking on and providing snippy dialogue for me to use. The second time I had her write bigger portions of the mission.

I've also collaborated with EileenAlphabet on a mission, in which we mostly wrote entire scenes and put them in one after the other, and then going through the other person's scenes to make sure they're getting our characters right. In that case, it does require more trust of the collaborator's ability to carry the plot where you need it and to get your characters there intact, but it works quite well in the end.

1: The easy way. My probably-longest PPC mission, Woodsprite of the North, was technically a co-write between myself and Selene's author (back when Selene had an author). In practice, however, it was written by me, then sent over to her to edit and make sure I'd not done anything stupid.

#2: The medium way. The first six or so chapters of The Reorganisation were cowritten. We actually wrote a scene at a time - looking at Chapter 1, I can tell you that I probably wrote six of the eight scenes, but the longest two - the very first scene and the conversation between Blue and Imbolc - were written by Vemi, my coauthor at the time. I think we just emailed a Word document back and forth.

#3: The hard way. A handful of my missions, such as The Child of Susan Sto-Helit, or Two Worlds United, were 'true' cowrites. I actually sat down over IM (I think Vemi used AIM, while Constance's author Kaitlyn used MSN) and wrote them line by line, going back and changing things when either of us weren't happy with what the other wrote. You can tell this sort of cowrite by the 'compound conversation' phenomenon - where dialogue consists of one character saying three different things, the other replying to each in order, and so on...

#3.5: The easier hard way. Brown DragonRider of Pern was a three-way cowrite done 'the hard way'. It took years (any idea exactly how long, Neshomeh, if you're reading?), but wasn't done through IM. I actually set up a guestbook on one of my websites specifically for us to write the story in. The basic method was the same, though - line by line, with occasional corrections along the way.

(And for the record, I understand Jay and Acacia used method #3)

hS

It's not that hard, actually. As I partecipated in some collaborations already, I'll tell you how it goes.

Part 1: The physical means, and I think the best one around is Google Drive. With it, not only a single document can be shared real-time within the collaboration team, but you basically need only a Gmail/Google/Youtube account and a computer or tablet with internet access... which doesn't even have to be your own, as the file is hosted on a server like email. And also has a built-in chat to allow the collaborators to work together. (Or start talking about random things and forget about the story. Believe me, it happens)

Part 2: Bouncing off ideas to build the basic plot of the story. No more to be said here, just exchange ideas.

Part 3: The actual writing. Can be done by writing a few lines each (very useful when each collaborator is using his own characters), or take turns writing longer bits. The latter is most useful when dealing with time zone difference, and in that case the comment function is vital: it allows to comment, write down ideas, ask for suggestions about a sentence or scene, and so on.

If you want an example, look at my missions. Interlude #1 was written with the first method, as Astral Void and I managed to get enough time zone overlap to do it. Collaboration #1 and #2 were done with the second one, as the piece was longer and there was lees overlap time with Firemagic.

To bring the point home, I'm Italian, Astral Void is Australian and Firemagic is American. And yet, collaboration was possible. And fun. Collaboration is fun.

...is that two or more people have editing access to the same Google Drive document, and they open it up at the same time and tag-team, usually writing their characters specifically and switching off on canons, deciding beforehand who wrangles them, or deciding on the fly. (I've mostly done the last.)

For instance, take PPCers Anna and Bobby, who write agents Samuel and Deanna. Anna might start out like this:

Samuel bounced a baseball off the wall of his RC and tried to be uncomfortable. Unfortunately, he clearly wasn't uncomfortable enough, because--

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]

Samuel yelped in shock, took a step backwards, and tripped over the footstool behind him. He toppled to the floor and lay there, moaning.

Then she might switch to the built-in chat in the doc:

A: Your cue, Bobby!
B: 'K!

And Bobby would turn to the doc:

The RC's door opened, and someone laughed. "Hey, Sammy, how're your ears?"

Samuel glowered up at Deanna. "Fine. My back's the one that's hurting."

Deanna grinned and leaned down, offering a hand to her partner. "Ready to hurt your brain too?"

"Never." Samuel accepted Deanna's hand and hauled himself up with her help. "Let's get on with it."

That's just the basic bouncing-two-characters-off-each-other thing, and it gets more complicated once you add a story that you need to work on in conjunction with working with your partner. I can't really describe that process, but the two-character-bouncing is just RP. In a Google Doc.

You don't have to write with a partner if you don't want to, though; you can easily make two agents and bounce them off each other like I did with Samuel and Deanna there.

if it looks like i stole those names straight from supernatural it's only because i did

http://www.quotev.com/story/1820954/Doctor-Who-Short-Love-Stories/1/

This is by the infamous creator of the Weeping Angles fic and the Lituriture Adventures of Molly Smith (and that Narnia fic that Specs and Co. MSTd a couple months ago). This one could potentially be a co-op mission between several Agents, each one tackling a different short story (fairly certain all of them have wracked up killworthy charges in the chapter they feature in).

I just reported it because the first Sue's name is River Lilly. I'm offended for both my own penname and River Song's sake.

Do the two fanfics I mentioned (Mental Colt and my own Midnight Green) need to be sporked?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2182597/1/Watchwoman-of-the-Light

So apparently Will's not the last of the Old Ones after all, and doesn't even have the decency to be surprised about it, there's a copy of the book of Gramarye, and it's set in modern times despite Will being something like fourteen or fifteen. Not to mention that the Suethor basically took the first few chapters of TDiR, summarized them and made a few changes. It angers me!

Are there any opinions on the two fics I linked?

And she got aaaaallll the Council lines right, and even made some sensible comments....


And then SHE started talking. GAH!

http://www.quotev.com/story/2587108/Living-Dead-A-Legolas-Love-story/1/

Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Characters to kill: Alicia Divin and her boyfriend Sean Wrede.
Why they need killing: Hoo boy. Alicia's a tenth walker who died in a car crash on Earth and gets the power of reincarnation and transported to Middle-earth. She beats Legolas at hand to hand combat while in a dress, makes Middle-earthian characters use modern slang (complete with usage of "u" in place of "you"), portrays Boromir as the Designated Misogynistic Bastard, portrays Pippin as more or less a hyperactive six-year-old, and has an Extra Ring of Sueness that apparently was created by Sauron's wife and given to their kid.

Yeah.

Sauron has a wife and kid. Who'd've thunk? Oh, and guess who Sauron's kid is. Yeah. Yeeeeeeeah.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ouV0di1a__mTOV8jb7Nq0YiNQkoks96lt3oRsU4Wo7g/edit?usp=sharing

Behold Valon's updated bio. He's overall more level-headed now, his profile is more detailed, and he's kept his hat addiction.

Any thoughts?

I'm sorry if this sounds discouraging or otherwise bad, but I'm not exactly the best at wording certain things...

There's a lot of ideas that could work here, but there's also a not of things that people generally do not want around here (torture and so on). You may want to polish things up and remove the things that go against how people see the setting.

That second paragraph, and the first sentence of the first, are completely gone. He is now overall more cool-headed, but also slightly irritable. Not a hair-trigger temper, but he can lose his patience.

Not sure what else to do, though.

Just thought I'd give you this handy dandy link spammage.

First off, the Wiki page for Permission. It can be pretty helpful in working some things out with Agents, as someone who has been working on agents for at least 3 months, on and off.

Secondly, the Permission Self-Check. I know it's on the Permission page, but I had a hard time finding it anyway. It's good for checking whether you're ready to ask for permission. This is probably because that's what it was made for.

Now, here's the link to a collection of missions, the Original Series and other tidbits. Reading always helps, and seeing other agents in missions is good for brainstorming ideas that work. And if you've read them, eh, no harm in re-reading.

Finally, a picture of a rabbit with a top hat. Because why not? And I know that sometimes people get upset at criticism, good or bad, so I felt a cute picture would be a nice idea.

Good luck in working out ideas for agents, and remember - have fun while you're doing it! All stress and no fun makes the PPC a boring place.

Having read this description and looked at the pictures, I'm not entirely sure you understand what the PPC is all about.

Torture, and 'taking his frustration out on them personally', is most emphatically not what we do. PPC stories are, er, funny: that's kind of the point. Valon isn't funny: he's scary. Yes, you've added some quirks, but you've added them to a violent psychopath who 'turns off his sense of empathy' and, for bonus points, 'spends a lot of time ogling female Agents and canonicals' - including when he's an empathyless torture-fiend. That is not someone I can see fitting into the PPC.

So: I'd like to recommend you read around the subject more. I note on your intro thread you say you've read Laburnum's missions: I'm aware that they make up a large chunk of our Redwall stuff, but they're really not representative of the PPC as a whole. I see you are (or were) also reading the Original Series, which is good - we try to model our agents off Jay and Acacia, with different characters but the same basic outlook of 'Doing this job, have to have a sense of humour, get angry sometimes but try to stay professional'.

So: read some more missions! Unfortunately I don't appear to share any fandoms with you - well, a couple, but I don't recall any missions set in them - but I can point you at the Killed Badfic list. To get a good feel for what the PPC's like, try avoiding the high-rated/NSFW stuff and reading some of the K+/T material.

For one specific (non-mission, but PPC)recommendation, the Irish Samurai recently posted an interlude to do with Abhorsen: The Mini-Mogget Adoption Agency. I think it gets over the feel of the PPC very well.

hS

One, torture is not allowed. Even for Sues. It's a bad idea. Killing them slowly, maybe, but nobody is supposed to torture. It ticks off the Flowers, because it's Black Cat methodology and also seriously not cool.

Two, you are way too new to start up Permission ideas. I realize this wasn't an official request, but keep it private until you've got more parts of the Agent finalized and the Board gets to know you.

Three, his personality traits seem contradictory. Psychopathic rage and cool tolerance of others, for example. I realize you're still hammering him out, but read the bio beforehand and make sure it looks consistent.

Without that, it's not that bad. The hat obsession could potentially lead to a few fun scenes, and the physical description seems all right. You could really enhance him by bringing along a partner who opposes him in terms of knowledge type and reactions to situations, especially since doing so would help justify the "knows about everything" bit if you give him, say, a very ditzy partner. The partner dynamic is why you see so many passionate/stoic pairs or rageful/joyful pairs. Odd couples are fun and help with characterization.

You've created about three threads in a row. That's a little much especially since your introduction post is still on the front page. That's also an indicator that it is a bit too early for you to be discussing Agents with the Board.

If you really need advice, I suggest asking someone via email or the IRC.

That being said, is it necessary to have two different personalities for an Agent dependant on what he's doing? Suggesting that an Agent is only sane off duty is underestimating HQ's ability to turn someone insane. And last time I checked, Sues also had shoddy split personalities like that.

Take a step back, relax, and just participate in the topics already on the Board. We're in no rush.

First off, torturing Sues is a no-go. And the way it's described, like that happens constantly, he sounds like he's a psychopath on or off duty. The pictures don't help with that.

I think you already have my email, and I know you have my tumblr for the Sue thing. So yeah.


Also I will try and toss you some submissions in the near future.

I don't have a tumblr, though - could I just email it to you?

http://glaurungitcircleoflemmings.tumblr.com/post/48828710386/this-fic-makes-zombies-of-us-all

Just putting this here for anyone interested in submitting Circle sporkings to the blog.

My trusty sidekick (roommate) should probably be exposed to some of these as a suitable revenge for making me sit through the new episode of Charlie the Unicorn...

Up to you. I'm familiar with all the canons you mentioned.

Well, it's technically just Elijah, but seriously come on, that's probably a badfic plotline somewhere.

I would love to beta-read, but I actually have four projects on my table right now :) Sure it'll be great, though!

Beta-reading for someone else right now, WAY late on that,a nd should prob. get on it... and, okay, fine, Sues scare me... *hides under desk* Ah, a shiny thing. Feeling better now.

I'd love to help you with that!

My vocabulary has been helped by Shadowjack Watches Sailor Moon - it's sort of like an abridged series, but in text, and it's great. For episodes 44 and 125, he ended up writing in Shakespearean-style, and it's AWESOME.

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?479656-IWIW-Sailor-Moon-Part-2!&p=11200147#post11200147

Well, there's 'pewling stirk' , which is really an insult, 'regolith' (a kind of rock). I had to look up the exact definitions but it's pretty easy to guess at general meaning.

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?662888-IWIW-Sailor-Moon-Sailor-Math-8-Sailors-Mistress-9-Thread-11!&p=16149341#post16149341

Some archaic terms - corse and murtherer for corpse and murderer,'caitiff' (a coward), 'recusance' (refusing to obey authority), 'cozen'd' (to trick), and 'armillary' (hoops or rings, but an armillary sphere is used as a model for stars)

Though I do look them up later to be sure I've got the meanings right. To my chagrin, I usually mispronounce long or unusual words, because I almost never have the chance to use them in conversation and just read or write them.

I infer the meanings of words, and have always done so. When I was little, I would ask my mom, and she would tell me to look it up. Naturally, I did no such thing, and ended up increasing my power of inference. It proved useful when taking the SATs.

If I come across a word I don't know, I just hold my finger on it, and the dictionary it has loaded onto the device gives me a quick definition of the word. I use it with Discworld a lot too, actually. The good thing is that I know what Prattchet was truly trying to say. The bad thing is, I find I don't put it to memory well. After all, why memorize it when the definition is a second away? This summer, I have to sit down with a dictionary and just put to memory all those words I should know but don't. Wish me luck.

Tend to infer a word's meaning from its context. If I find a word particularly interesting or can't figure it out from the context, I will look it up.

Sadly, I haven't had much time for recreational reading of late, thanks to class.

Behold a human-in-Matoran-Universe fic. Yes, this is Bionicle.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8058778/1/That-was-then-this-is-now

Surprisingly, aside from the whole "where the hell is the language barrier" thing, the main character doesn't seem to be much of a Sue.

No, if anyone's a Sue, it's the supporting character Rhya Nui, who claims to be the sister of Mata Nui (aka Bionicle-verse's version of Jesus, who contains the whole setting IN HIS BODY) and completely ignores the final arc with Bara Magna.

Any thoughts, besides "Rhya Nui Must Die"?

Eleven:

http://www.quotev.com/story/3091312/Eleven/

Summery: *Hermione Granger Sister Story* One night, the Granger family found a baby girl on their door step. Hermione had gotten a little sister (only by a year) and everything seemed perfect for the Granger family, all until their birthday.

First this starts out with the impression that the Sue is the daughter of Dumbledore, who is apparently evil and the heir of Slytherin. It takes a while to realise that the Sue is Voldemort's daughter and it took me about that long to realise that the Sue's mother was not Poppy Pomfrey, but instead an OC heir of Ravenclaw.

I did not want to make a separate post to answer a rather simple question, so I'll just ask it here. It's about my mission anyway, so it sort of is on the topic.

The antagonists of the badfic I'm killing (other then the Idiot Ball) are a new race of beings brilliantly named, "griffon/ changeling hybrids." Besides their blatant uncanon natures, these creatures are in the "griffon kingdom of Griffala," which is supposed to be the Griffin kingdom. Normally, I would say this is a mini, however, it turns out there is a breed of dog called griffons, as well as a species of vulture. My question is, is this a mini and they are still crossed with griffins, or do I have a Diamond Dog kingdom and hybrid race to deal with rather then a Griffin one?

http://www.quotev.com/story/1832087/Sukai-Toppa-Gurren-Lagann/

It's a Suefic of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, AKA my absolute favorite anime series. Our Sue a) becomes leader of Team Gurren, b) hijacks Kamina's awesome speeches, c) has speshul hair and eyes that can only be found on Beastmen and Nia, d) romances Simon, when in canon Nia is his One True Love, and e) BUILDS a Ganmen in less than a week.

Besides that, there's all kinds of spelling and punctuation errors, and I found no fewer than six mini-spawning misspellings just in the first four chapters. Which makes me wonder what Gurren Lagann minis would be, but that's besides the point.

I want to throw this thing into the Sea of Despair.

Seeing as it's higher up than the last thread, and the last one is pretty big as it is, I'll just leave this here.

United in brotherhood, by pingu1997.
What if everything Bella had told the Cullens about her past was a lie? What if she had grown up in New York with four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and a mutant rat as a father? So if everything was a lie, then what does Bellas past and future hold?

I flicked through it, and while I can't say for certain how bad it is, I'm fairly certain it's pretty bad. Not to mention there's bad SPaG. And it's a freaking crossover of Twilight and TMNT. Now, I'm no huge fan of either, but I'm pretty certain they won't go together that well.

Don't question why I found it. I was dared to go through Twilight crossovers and it caught my eye.

'Means changing and tweaking a few facts, but isn't that what fanfiction is all about?'
No, author, it isn't.

That doesn't mean they didn't see it.

If you have a badfic to put up, show it to the current badfic topic, which you did, or place it in the Unclaimed list yourself, which you could have done without starting a new topic.

Time Will Tell

Target: Araen and Alasse Tinuviel
Agents: Christianne Shieh and Eledhwen Elerossiel
Fandom: Thou shalt count to Nine...
Things added to continuity: Fixing up Eledhwen's backstory, explaining why her name is so nonsensical (Morwen's lore name, a father name that implies she's descended from Elros - these get explained somewhat, I hope), and setting the stage a bit more for Interlude shenanigans (once again, this is also set before that). Rosalie makes an appearance as well.
Things up for grabs: Well, the Berien should probably be up, but since that occured before my Agents arrived I don't think they collected it (and it might just assimilate back into the Canon; it's a giant hobbit-sized bunch of berries anyway). Also, the Sue's Simbelmyne juice and its purty phial are up for grabs. Not sure what its effects will be now that it's been exposed to canon.
Mini-Balrogs: Itidin, Alrohir.

The zombie attack on new york joke was my favorite, I think. Wraith Fili and Kili is pretty darn scary too...

Has somebody claimed the mythril pendant yet?

For a moment I was worried about AGENT Kestrel, the former Corpsemaker in the DMS.

Here

In which a wide-spanning debate is manufactured in HQ solely so I can discuss previous comments on the mission. ;)

hS

It has to be a quick one, since I need to get to bed, but here it is nonetheless!

I agree with Herr that a few more quotes showing the OC being Sueish would have made this stronger; or else spend a bit more time describing things so that we can see what's going wrong without a direct quote. Having the characters gripe about it to each other, while certainly a vital component to any mission, isn't always the best method for telling us about the badfic, since it essentially puts the audience at an extra remove from the action. It especially bugged me that we didn't see Kestrel woo any undead dwarves, since that was the main problem set out at the beginning of the mission.

The descriptions you do have are good, though, like the floating eyeballs and the zombie dwarves. I noticed that Eledhwen and Christianne kept it together remarkably well aside from the distortions affecting them, and I do like the inclusion of Bleepolate milk to combat the effects. Yay MiB. I would have been extremely disappointed if no one had incorporated that into the PPC universe. ^^

Somewhat related, one final note: beware the evil "as"! If left unchecked, it will force your characters to do impossible things like speak and chug at the same time, like so:

“Mini-Balrog up ahead,” the elleth said weakly as she chugged the Bleepolate milk.

I'm pretty sure even the Eldar would have difficulty mastering such an art, having but one mouth, same as us mere mortals. ^~

~Neshomeh

Really well done Lily, I enjoyed several aspects of the mission, and it was fun to read. The allusions to what was going to happen in the blackout amused me, and while it did not add as much to the blackout as I expected, it did make me laugh, which is good. I liked the reaction of the dwarves to seeing their leaders die again, though if they were not going to be nuralized quite as quickly, I would have liked to see that emotion extend a little. Perhaps I'm just a little desperate for some strong emotion, as the badfic I'm sporking has practically none.

Well darn, should have jumped on sooner. I was going to nab the mythril, but Dawn has it already. Jumper is a bit of a Dues Ex Machina collector you see, so to have a pendant that allows travel would be something he would have in the collection. Not to use, mind you, but to observe and look at. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

I would adopt one of the minis, but I don't think any of my agents would be interested in a mini Balrog. Jumper would be the most likely, but I'm not sure enough to take one and then have the poor thing neglected. Ah well, feed them all some of this bacon for me, as compensation. *tosses bacon bag*

And much rejoicing was had. It's been a while since we've had a mission here, hasn't it?

Well, fun times were had with this one. The word mishaps involved were quite something, I have to say, and the banter between Christianne and Eledhwen was pretty nice. I wish I had seen just a little more of the fic itself, but that's just a nitpick when everything else worked pretty well.

Can I have the bugle, pretty please?

Sorry I couldn't help much...

Also, I'll take the mythril! It sounds like fun :)

Also tempted to adopt Golem, but...bad idea. I have so many minis already...

And now, I shall actually read past the first few lines of the mission :)

~DF

He brings with him the mini-Camoudiles Trama and whark.

I'll be emailling a GDocs link round - I've written a couple of paragraphs to get us started. In light of hermione's Not Hetalia Yet request, and since the author is a flaming hypocrite, I've made the arbitrary decision to start with The Official Unofficial Fanfiction University - also since that's what suggested the whole idea.

hS

And I'm still in. Or rather, Miss Nariel, co-coordinator of SBEI (Avengers) is. She'll be bringing the mini-Balrogs Bag-End and witch-king with her, most likely, as well as contributing a number of mini-Nick Furys. As to email address...

dawnfire360@gmail.com

Looking forward to this!

~DF

Yes. Yes. Yes. You are using my idea! And I love that! Sueniversities are going to be a bit harder to find than regular badfic, because most badfic writers tend not to read stories making fun of badfic writers, but the OFU² sporkings are going to be awesome, I can tell. Teaching teaching through pain... through pain!

While I was looking for another one to post, I found... dun dah dah DAH! An unofficial Fanfiction University about writing fanfiction for the International Institute of Hetalia Fanfiction. Apparently, badfic about IAHF has gotten so bad that someone thought that a recursive Fanfiction University was necessary. Lily Winterwood, I don't know if, if I was in your situation, I would be proud that I got so much fanfiction or repulsed that so much of it is apparently bad enough to warrant this. The story itself isn't terribly written compared to the Sueniversities, since it at least seems to have knowledge of the connection between OFUs and pain, but it doesn't have any minis, treats the prominent Mary Sue invaders like staff members, and apparently thinks it takes place in the Homestuck reality for whatever reason.

Oh, speaking of minis, would it be possible to use minis for OFU² from any or all of the unfinished or duplicate OFU's? I'm sure the former OFU-affiliated minis would love having new fanbrats to swarm after so long a lapse, and people who liked the old incomplete OFUs could say "Look, it's the mini-Deoxys/Deepcoilers/what have you back again!"

I can say for sure that Karen from OFUA:TLA would like to help out (which, by the way, is finally getting an update soon). There was a bad OFU floating around the ATLA fandom a while back, but I don't recall how to access it...and you have my gmail, I do believe.

Miss Gloria will participate, while Miss Maria oversees duties at OFAS. Since Miss Gloria is going, her own personal mini Hanssen will come too.

My email is that username up there, at gmail.

As to our first target, I would prefer if we didn't do the Hetalia ones, because all I know about Hetalia is that it is an anime/manga about anthropormorphised countries.

Adding this one to the pile: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7146221/1/Hetalia-Writing-University

And I volunteer Mr Ben of MBSFA and Mr Allen of IAHF. Their partners can run their respective OFUs while they're doing this. (Well, we'll just say this happened some time earlier in the IAHF timeline, or much later.)

But if you're Still Looking, we'd be happy to Beta. Our E-Mail is SeraphWeasel@gmail.com if you want us to read it over.

I'm always up for beta reading!

I would be delighted to be a beta reader.

Pick me! Pick me!