Feb 2013 Archive, part c - PPC Posting Board

Sneaky References in Books by Huinesoron on 2013-02-21 21:37:00 UTC Link to this

We've all heard about the occasional sneaky reference in a film - George Lucas famously put some version of THX-1138 (the title of his first(?) film) into most of his works, Spielberg put C3PO and R2D2 into Indiana Jones as hieroglyphs, and Pixar apparently loves to hide references in their films.

But what about books? It's not as easy to sneak something into the background there, where every word is, y'know, a word.

But it happens anyway. And it's awesome. So let's share the ones we know of!

(I'm not including - necessarily - things like Discworld books referencing other things. I suppose we could list every outside reference in, say, Witches Abroad, but... no. I'm asking about the sneaky references you don't expect to be there, and half the time you miss. I'm also not thinking of the 'might be a reference' things - Harry Dresden says 'Stars and stones', which sounds like Gandalf's 'Seven stars/And seven stones/And one white tree' - but more the bits that sneakily say 'Yeah, this totally exists in my universe - in one way or another')

(I'll do my best to keep these spoiler free, of course)

Two from Young Wizards first:

-In book 5, The Wizard's Dilemma, while travelling between universes:

In another [world] he stood on a long narrow spit of land pushing out into a turbulent sea, while the waves crashed all around him, and waited what seemed like nearly an hour for what he knew was coming: a fleet of huge-sailed ships that came riding up out of a terrible storm and with difficulty made landfall by that strange new shore.

As the last of the strangers came up out of the sea and into their new home, bearing their black banner with its single white tree, Kit glanced down...

Far, far away now is Atalantë

... because there's no way that isn't the White Tree of Numenor/Gondor, and there's only one place in the canon that scene could go...

-In book 3, High Wizardry, we run across this gentleman (large skips here for length & spoilers):

He was built slight and strong, wearing a white shirt and sweater and a long fawn-colored jacket; a fair-haired young man with quick bright eyes and an intelligent face. 'Here now,' he said, helping her straighten up. 'Careful!' And he said in English.

[She] opened her mouth to beg for help, but before she could say a word, those wise, sharp eyes had flickered over her and away, taking everything in.

'Who's after you?' the man said, quiet-voiced but urgent, glancing back at [her].

[...] Alarm and quick thought leaped behind those brown eyes. 'Right. Here then, take these.' The young man dug down in his jacket pocket, came up with a fistful of bizarrely shaped coins[......]

She never found out anything about the man who helped her. Nor did he ever find out anything more about her. Pausing by the door [...] after being released from station security some hours later, and being telepathically sensitive (as so many hominids are), he could sense only that some considerable power had been successfully exercised there. Satisfied with that, he smiled to himself and went on about his travels, just one more of the billions of hominids moving about the worlds.

And we never find out any more about him, either. Except that according to Word Of God, he's the Fifth Doctor. Which is awesome.

Another Numenor reference, rather more explicit, shows up in C.S. Lewis' That Hideous Strength:

'It may happen to seem to you the speech of barbarians,' said Ransom, 'for it is long since it has been heard. Not even in Numinor was it heard in the streets.'

The Stranger gave no start and his face remained as quiet as before, if it did not become quieter. But he spoke with a new interest.

'Your Masters let you play with dangerous toys,' he said. 'Tell me, slave, what is Numinor?'

'The true West,' said Ransom.

(One of several references; the prologue states that 'Those who would like to learn further about Numinor and the True West must (alas!) await the publication of much that still exists only in the MSS. of my friend, Professor J.R.R. Tolkien.')

This next one I don't have the book handy, but in Timothy Zahn's Star Wars novel Allegiance, we meet Stacy, a perky X-Wing pilot who flirts with Han Solo... and is actually Pink Five from a fan film.

In Gregory Maguire's Wicked (based on The Wizard of Oz), Elphaba (aka The Wicked Witch of the West) sings:

Elphaba had an okay voice. [Boq] saw the imaginary place she conjoured up, a land where injustice and common cruelty and despotic rule and the beggaring fist of drought didn't work together to hold everyone by the neck. No, he wasn't giving her credit: Elphaba had a good voice. It was controlled and feeling and not histrionic. He listened through to the end, and the song faded into the hush of a respectful pub. Later, he thought: The melody faded like a rainbow after a storm, or like winds calming down at last; and what was left was calm, and possibility, and relief.

[...] 'Elphaba says she's not religious but see how feelingly she sings of the afterlife,' said Nessarose, and for once no one was inclined to argue.

... and it only occurred to me yesterday which song she's clearly singing: Soooooomewheeeere over the rainbow...

A final pair from Last Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko - the fourth book in the Night Watch trilogy - Russian fantasy. The first book got made into a pair of horror-fantasy films... before the fourth book was written. So Lukyanenko dropped a pair of sneaky references to the films into the book - by casting their events as dreams...

'Ah, what a wonderful dream I had last night,' Semyon exclaimed as he drove into the parking lot. 'I'm driving around Moscow in this battered old van, with one of our people sitting beside me... Then suddenly I see Zabulon standing in the middle of the road, dressed like a hobo for some reason. I step on the gas and try to knock him down! But he just waves his hand and puts up a barrier. We go flying up into the air, and somersault right over Zabulon. And we drive on.'

'So why didn't you turn back?' I needled him.

'We were in a hurry to get somewhere.' Semyon sighed.

'You should drink less, then you wouldn't be bothered by dreams like that.'

'They don't bother me at all,' said Semyon, offended. 'On the contrary, I enjoyed it. Like a scene out of some parallel reality...'

And, later on...

'I was a bit angry,' Egor admitted. 'But not too much. It wasn't really your fault. That's the way your job is... lousy. But I resented it, of course. I even dreamed once that you were really my father. And I was going to become a Dark Magician and work in the Day Watch in order to spite you.'

[...] 'That's a funny dream,' I said. 'They say some dreams are an alternative reality breaking through into our consciousness. Maybe somewhere, somehow, that's the way it was. You shouldn't have gone over to the Dark Ones, though...'

And that's just all I can think of at the moment! Surely if I've noticed this many, you lot must have heaps more to share. So go on! Shaaaaare!

hS

And the flip side of these. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-23 22:00:00 UTC Link to this

Well, sort of the flip side... if these are the moments we see other worlds in a book (or game), then what about the moments we see this one?

I call these 'Welcome Back' moments, probably after the line at the beginning of Tomb Raider... Three, I think? 'Welcome back to my humble abode. Feel free to take a look around...'

I think of these not just as the point you realise you're back in a world you've visited before, but the moment it feels like - well, like the canon's welcoming you back. I never had one for Portal, for instance, even though I dearly love Portal 2. There isn't one for me anywhere in Discworld, either.

Actually, I only have two I can think of - and they're both in films.

1/ Star Wars. Any of the films, or even the books - but that moment when the first words come up:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

That's when I know I'm back.

2/ The Hobbit film. The moment about a minute and a half into the soundtrack where it first samples the Shire theme has this effect on me even on the CD. And seeing the Shire itself again... yeah.

These aren't just 'yup, here again' moments - they're the moments where it feels like the canon is saying, "Welcome back... we missed you, too, and I know things have changed, but... we're still here.

Does anyone else get this (or even understand what I'm saying)? Any examples?

hS

For me... by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-26 20:09:00 UTC Link to this

It's right when you leave the first "dungeon" in Skyrim, and get your first good view of the world now that you're free to interact with it as you please. My initial reaction to that was "Yeah, I'm back in Tamriel."

Star Trek welcomes me in. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-24 20:47:00 UTC Link to this

DawnFire said the Star Trek: TOS titles, but while I love TOS, that's not the Star Trek that welcomes me in. The titles that welcome me into the Star Trek universe are the Star Trek: TNG ones. Something about that triumphant music and Captain Picard's rich voice just make me feel at home. Voyager may have the prettiest theme, in my opinion, but it's TNG that touches me. This probably goes back to a story my parents tell. They say that they would watch TNG when I was maybe one or two years old, and so I'd sit on the floor playing with my toys for most of the episode. But when the opening sequence came on, I would look up and watch the screen intently. Then as soon as it finished I'd go back to playing. So perhaps that opening sequence is ingrained in my subconscious as something wonderful.
And Star Trek: TNG is the only fandom that gives me such a strong welcome back feeling.
And what you said about the Hobbit movie reminded me of a sort-of related phenomenon: realizing that a new installment or new adaptation really is part of the fandom you know and love. The 2009 Star Trek movie was one of of the first "Star Treks" I saw, but after a while I'd nearly forgotten it, being too immersed in TOS and TNG and eventually Voyager. Then I rewatched it, and it felt so different, so sleek and "modern" in contrast to the '60s TOS and even the '90s TNG. At one point I even said "This isn't my Star Trek". It didn't feel the same to me. Then the new Dr. McCoy said "Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!" - echoing the old McCoy's catchphrase of "I'm a doctor, not a _______!" that was later used by the doctors on Deep Space Nine and Voyager and became a trademark of Star Trek doctors. It was something small, but it connected the 2009 movie with the rest of the franchise a a way that spoke to me and told me "Yes, we may be shinier and sleeker, but we are still Star Trek."
I'll stop my Trekkie gushing now.

Nonono, Trekkie gushing is good! by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 21:02:00 UTC Link to this

The 2009 movie is actually the very first ST I ever saw (yup. Newbie. It's why I then went back and started at the very beginning). I can see where you're coming from with the sleek and modern bit, and also with Dr. McCoy's catchphrase.

Actually, in TNG, one of the first episodes I saw...well, I was thinking along much the same lines as you were with the 2009 film. I was going, 'this isn't my Star Trek. I want my TOS characters back. The Enterprise is too fancy' (as you can tell, it hadn't come close to winning me over yet). Then, a rather aged Dr. McCoy came onscreen, and had a conversation with Data, which was, in a word, AWESOME. And it tied everything together, and made it better, and made me laugh. It also made me a little more willing to give TNG a chance, I think. (Since then, I've become rather fonder of the TNG characters, but originally...they were just too unfamiliar, and in different uniforms and a fancy starship to boot).

As it is, I think the TOS titles will always be the ones to 'welcome me in', as we're calling it. Mainly because I have such fond memories of the series? Who knows. Maybe just because I first heard them nearly four years ago.)

~DF

Don't worry, I was a newbie too. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-28 22:05:00 UTC Link to this

Nearly four years ago? *counts on fingers* Yep, that's about when I got into Star Trek. The new movie was the first Trek I saw, then I started watching TOS episodes haphazardly and catching TNG reruns. Like I said, after a while I got so immersed in those that the new movie was jarring.

And that episode you saw? That was the pilot, so I bet they threw that in there to help fans adjust. I've never had a problem adjusting to a new Star Trek series because I got into TOS and TNG pretty much simultaneously. Deep Space Nine and Voyager are set in a similar time frame to TNG and have a lot of connections, so that wasn't so hard either. TNG has become my favorite, but TOS is still awesome, and when you throw DS9 and Voyager into the mix, it's kind of like they're all tied for a close second. (Poor Enterprise. No one knows about it.)

So now that you like TNG, who's your favorite character? I'm partial to Data myself, and you mentioning him prompted me to ask. Also, Kirk or Picard? (Either answer is acceptable.)

Eh, we were all newbies at some point :) by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 10:29:00 UTC Link to this

Yeah, my friend announced, about an hour before I left to go to her house, that we were going to see an awesome movie, called Star Trek, and that I'd love it--don't worry what it's about. She was right; it was awesome, and I loved it. I ended up going home with a new fandom, and then started on TOS. This is where our stories are different--I decided to watch TOS all the way through before starting on TNG and everything else. (I haven't completely stuck to that, but it does mean that my viewing of TNG episodes has been rather sporadic).

Ah, was it? That explains a lot. I'm glad they threw that scene in! It was a great scene, and it sort of gave Dr. McCoy's mark of approval to the series. (It also helped introduce Data, and establish him as a great character).

As for Enterprise, I know about it--but not that much. I know it has Admiral Archer (I think?), and a Vulcan named...T'pol, I believe, and--well, basically, I know a little bit. Haven't seen it, though. Then again, I haven't seen Voyager or DS9 yet, either.

I'm actually still gettng into TNG (doubt I've seen more than 10 episodes or so), but from what I've seen so far...probably Picard and Data. Geordi LaForge as well, I think. Other than that, I don't really know the characters so well, or they haven't made enough of an impression on me yet. (I've mainly been bouncing around, watching episodes that look interesting, such as the Moriarty ones and "Trials and Tribble-ations", which I actually want to rewatch soon.)

Honestly, I tend to be partial to pretty much any logical character, I think. It's a good thing, logic. It's also something I've tried to partially adopt, so it's got some personal meaning for me.

Kirk or Picard? Kirk, sorry. Always. Picard is great, but...I've got to go with Kirk. Probably always will. (Although, side point, have you seen Patrick Stewart in X-Men or Hamlet? He's pretty awesome in both. Definitely worth seeing. Especially Hamlet--now, that movie is one I can go on about for quite a while!)

~DawnFire

Hmm. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-04 22:02:00 UTC Link to this

Well, Archer is the name of the captain on Enterprise, and there was a reference to Admiral Archer's dog in the new movie, so fanon is that they are one and the same. Poor dog.

Only ten episodes? You have a lot of awesomeness ahead of you. :) If you're jumping around, here are my recommendations:
All the two part episodes (most especially "Unification" - it has Spock!)
"Relics" (brings back Scotty)
"Data's Day" (exactly what it sounds like)
"The Inner Light" (Picard lives an entire life in 15 minutes, really powerful)
"The Measure of a Man" (Starfleet tries to rule that Data is property, not a person)
"The Offspring" (Data tries to create a daughter)
"Disaster" (the title happens, and the crew are stranded in strange situations around the ship)
Pretty much any episode with Lt. Barclay
Time travel episodes ("Time's Arrow" is my favorite)
Holodeck episodes

Story arcs that should be viewed in order:
The Q episodes (Q is just...made of awesome)
The Lore episodes (Data's evil twin is a really interesting character)
Borg episodes ("The Best of Both Worlds" is quite possibly the best episode of the entire show)
The Klingon political episodes (if it's Worf-centric, it's probably this)

Though I'm slightly biased. Most of my favorite episodes are Data-centric. He is my favorite character. ~~And my Lust Object for TNG~~.(You didn't just see that.)

FYI, "Trials and Tribble-ations" is DS9. It was the first episode of DS9 I watched. Tribbles! The way they kept making in-jokes back to the original episode - and the fact that I caught every one. Of course, I've seen the original "Trouble with Tribbles" about ten times (I watch it whenever I'm sick), so that's to be expected. :)

*finally succeeds in stemming the flow of Star Trek gushing*

I think I've got one... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 19:40:00 UTC Link to this

Whenever I catch an episode of Person of Interest, I get the impression that Harold Finch is saying, "Welcome back; we have a new number today."

Same goes for Elementary, with the introduction scene of the Rube Goldberg criminal-catcher machine sort of saying, with imagery, "Good to see you made it, now watch carefully, because we've got quite the case to be solved."

I think that's what you meant, right?

While knowing neither... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-24 20:02:00 UTC Link to this

... that sounds like it, yep. ;)

hS

Despite that you didn't ask... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 21:00:00 UTC Link to this

Person of Interest is a show about a machine that sees all crimes, and people who try to stop said crimes from happening outside of the law's restrictions.

Elementary is Sherlock Holmes remastered as an L.A. freelance investigator and recovering drug addict, with Female!Asian!Watson being his sobriety partner.

(Side point) by DawnFire on 2013-02-24 09:09:00 UTC Link to this

By the way, I recently saw (and read) the Generic Surface webcomic. It was hilarious :D Good job!

Are you planning on ever continuing it, or are the days of lego!agents over?

~DF

I'm... sort of planning. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-24 09:41:00 UTC Link to this

At the moment I have a massive non-PPC-related (but very PPCish) interlude very nearly complete - although it's been that way for the past few months.

I also have a digital version of the next set for the actual comic, which in theory will make it a lot easier to film. In practice, since Lego Digital Designer is rather more fiddly to use than real Lego, it's about the same. Still, less clutter.

hS

I understand completely by DawnFire on 2013-02-24 09:07:00 UTC Link to this

For me, it would have to be the Star Trek TOS titles. You know, you've got the opening scene, and then you get 60s-era fake!space, with the music, and Captain Kirk starts talking, and the music swells...that always makes me grin and relax.

There's also every time I see the Shire, or hear the music for it, but that's a little different. Also, most descriptions of Elves or beautiful places in Tolkien's work.

Not to mention every single CAD reading in PPC stories ever (Yup. I'm serious. It's one of my favorite things from the Original Series, and I love how there are so many different types now--but they all follow the same pattern, just with slightly different additions. My favorites are the ones that come just before the CAD dies--ie, [Elliswen Northstar. Non-canon. Mary-SuewhatisthiskillitnooooIwannalivebutit'sonlyafleshwoundgetthecow! Cranberries!] and then it starts smoking--although the ones that offer opinions on OOC levels and courses of action are a close second. And it's always something familiar, that's never going to change so much that it'll be unrecognizable).

Also in PPC fiction, playing cards or listening to music on the job. Or an agent holding back a homicidal partner.

...I should probably stop there. I do have things that I'm supposed to do today and, you know, they should get done. Mainly because they involve going to visit my cousins, the transport for which leaves in an hour...

~DF

I know that feeling! by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-24 06:30:00 UTC Link to this

...unfortunately, I can only find video game examples again.

1) In every Metroid title, there's a little jingle that plays once you step out of the save station at the start of the game. These six notes just evoke that "welcome back" feel.

2) Anytime you get your hands on the Master Sword in Zelda. It's the same sword that's been passed on from hero to hero, slain countless monsters, dueled against the Dark Lord time after time, and now it's your turn to hold it.

3) Nintendo gives you the most awesome blast to the past by having you visit the Throwback Galaxy, a remake of Thwomp's Fortress from Super Mario 64. It's a fantastic tribute to one of their greatest classics.

After playing though the Mass Effect trilogy... by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-22 18:06:00 UTC Link to this

...there is a considerable amount of references to other great works of science fiction in the series.

Spoilers ahoy!

-- A scottish engineer with a heavy accent can be found in your spaceship's engineering deck in the second (and third, if you play it right) game.

-- Commander Shepard dies in the opening sequence of the second game. When s/he returns to the Citadel after spending two years being rebuilt in a lab, a guard says that the commander's profile marks them as dead. Shepard can reply that s/he was only "mostly dead."

-- There is a flamethrower whose official designation is the M-451. Captain Beatty would be proud.

-- An in-universe movie series is titled Blasto, the first hanar Spectre and the protagonist sounds like a very calm and ethereal Dirty Harry.

-- One quest involves being lured into an ambush. Cue Admiral Ackbar.

-- Another mission involves releasing an AI from its programming failsafes. One character say that if it starts singing "Daisy Bell" and turning humans into batteries, he's never going to live it down.

-- After killing a lot of bug aliens that are in no way a reference to... well, Aliens, your pilot asks you if you want to nuke the site just to be sure.

Hm... by Neshomeh on 2013-02-22 17:17:00 UTC Link to this

Well, you took the Young Wizards ones, so I'll have to stretch a bit. {; P

Let's see... well, in the second book in the Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman, there's a character called Zifnab who occasionally says things like this:

"Great Gandalf's ghost!" shouted Zifnab. "If he had a ghost. I doubt it. He was such a snob . . . Where was I?"

Also, he has a dragon, and they have this conversation:

"My dragon? Save anybody?" Zifnab shook his head sadly. "You must have him confused with someone else—Smaug, perhaps? No? Ah, I've got it! That lizard who gave Saint George such a nasty time of it! What was his name, now there was a dragon!"

"And you are implying that I'm not?" ... "Smaug!" the dragon thundered. "That vain-glorious fop! And as for that sniveling worm who took on St. George—" ... "And to think I ended up with a worthless old faker like you!" the dragon was shouting. "I could have gone someplace where I would have been appreciated! Pern, for example!"

So that's Middle-earth, England, and Pern implied to exist, all in one go! ... Not really that sneaky unless you don't know those names, though.

There's also a character named Fizban in the Dragonlance series by the same authors. They may or may not be, but probably are, the same person.

"Ah, well. Let's see." The old man muttered to himself. "Fiz—No, I can't use that. Furball. Doesn't seem quite dignified enough. I have it!" he shouted, smiting Paithan on the arm. "Zifnab!"

So there's that, too, as a bonus. *g*

~Neshomeh, who recommends reading the Death Gate Cycle.

Regarding Zifnab (nitpick) by Desdendelle on 2013-02-23 00:09:00 UTC Link to this

IIRC, the Death Gate Cycle, is, to borrow a term from TvTropes, an After the End scenario of Earth. Fizban, OTOH, is Paladine, one of Krynn's deities.
They are very similar, though, and since DGC is After the End, it's probable, in my opinion, that Zifnab simply knows LotR, Pern, and his Christian mythology.

I'm not so sure. by Neshomeh on 2013-02-23 16:00:00 UTC Link to this

That is, I don't think DGC has anything to do with Earth; or if it does, it's an Earth that somehow ended up with elves, dwarves, Patryns, Sartans, and a bunch of other weird stuff.

As for Fizban being Palatine, it's established that travel between universes is possible even for mortals in unusual circumstances in Dragonlance, so I don't see why a god couldn't hop around to wherever he wanted to. {= )

~Neshomeh

I read that as 'Palpatine'. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-23 22:01:00 UTC Link to this

Which makes literally anything you could possibly be talking about at least a million times better.

hS, literally exaggerating

I caught that too. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 19:35:00 UTC Link to this

And giggled about it for a while.

Fizban! by EileenAlphabet on 2013-02-22 18:27:00 UTC Link to this

At one point Fizban has a conversation with someone, about the time he (Fizban) was thought to have died, saving the others. The other person says something along the lines of "Gandalf said it better" to which Fizban replies that Gandalf had a Balrog hanging from his underpants, so of course he said it better.
But if Fizban and Zifnab is the same person, it is hardly surprising that both incarnations know about Gandalf.

Fairly certain... by Phobos on 2013-02-22 19:49:00 UTC Link to this

...that conversation was between Zifnab and his Dragon in regards to a "Fly you fools" moment.

It is tough to keep the two straight, of course. Both were supposed to have died at some point in their respective series.

-Phobos

*scratches head* by EileenAlphabet on 2013-02-23 11:47:00 UTC Link to this

I'm sure I remember it as being Fizban. But admittedly I didn't check it, since all my books are right now packed in neatly stacked cardboard boxes, with all authors starting with W somewhere in the bottom of the stack.
It sounds like you've either read the books more recently than I or have a better memory, so you're probably right.
A great piece of dialogue no matter who said it.

Doctor Who has been referenced in the Inheritance Cycle by World-Jumper on 2013-02-22 07:13:00 UTC Link to this

Yes, I have read the Inheritence Cycle, and no, I don't hate it. It's not the greatest work of literature I have ever read, but it's not the worst either. Anyway, that's beside the point, what you care about is the Doctor in Alagaësia.

In Brisinger, Eragon and Aria are talking when Aria scribbles a poem in the dirt. While the entire thing has to do somewhat with the Doctor, the telling line is: 'the lonelly god with many faces, among the stars'

In another section, Solembum the Werecat gives a little speach to Eregon about the things the cat has seen in his life that is potentialy full of Doctor Who references, though only one point is a clear reference.

"There are many strange forces at work in Alagesia, Shadeslayer. I have seen things that defy belief: whirlwinds of light spinning in caverns deep below the ground, men who age backward, stones that speak, and shadows that creep. Rooms bigger on the inside than the outside... Galbatorix is not the only power in the world to be reckoned with, and he may not even be the strongest."

The clear reference here is the "Rooms bigger on the inside than the outside..." referencing the TARDIS. Other potential references are: The Weaping Angels with "Stone that speaks," though that would more acurately be stone that moves. The Doctor could be thought of as a man who "ages backward," though that sounds more like Benjamin Button. Finaly the Vashta Nerada with "shaddows that creep."

And finaly, Angela the herbalist was knitting a hat with runes on it. When asked what the runes read, she said, "Raxacori- Oh never mind. It wouldn't mean anything to you anyway." The word she was going to say was likely Raxacoricofallapatorius, which was a planet featured on Doctor Who.

There are probably other references in the seres to other works, but because the author acnolaged the amount of Doctor Who references in one of the afterwords ("Also, for those who understood the reference to a 'lonely god' when Eragon and Arya are sitting around the campfire, my only excuse is that the Doctor can travel everywhere, even alternate realities. Hey, I'm a fan too!") I decided to share those particular references.

*Brisingr, not Brisinger. by World-Jumper on 2013-02-22 07:17:00 UTC Link to this

I suppose that's my sixth mini. To be fair, the word could realy use the 'e.' I was working of instinct, it was an honest mistake this time!

Regarding that E by Desdendelle on 2013-02-22 17:58:00 UTC Link to this

'Brisingr' is probably modelled after some Old High Norse word, and that's how OHN works: See Baldr, Níðhöggr, Jörmungandr, etc.

Board Minis by Karen on 2013-02-22 14:38:00 UTC Link to this

What form to minis on the Board take? *curious*

They don't. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-22 16:56:00 UTC Link to this

It was discussed in this thread. Only minis created on the Board are mini-Boarders.

I see! (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-22 18:11:00 UTC Link to this

*Eragon, *lonely, *Weeping, *acknowledged, *Inheritance (nm) by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-22 12:26:00 UTC Link to this

*Tetragon, *colonelcy, *Sleeping, *knowledgeable... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-22 17:54:00 UTC Link to this

... *Inheritrix.

I asked Open Office for help. :P

hS

Sorry about that. by World-Jumper on 2013-02-22 19:32:00 UTC Link to this

I was on the darn device that does not, and cannot, have a spell check, which as you can see, I desperately need. Still, I managed to make relatively few errors, compared to what I can do. I must seem like an absolute idiot, when I 'm just a bad speller. Unfortunately, the errors are very likely going to continue to happen for a very long time.

*Sally, *arbitrary, *this hat. :P (nm) by Huinesoron on 2013-02-22 23:21:00 UTC Link to this

Oh, stop that, you silly goose! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-23 01:32:00 UTC Link to this

Now, behave yourself, or I'll tell the S.O. on you.

Or something.

Hey, less of the speciesist insults. (nm) by Agent Monty on 2013-02-23 22:03:00 UTC Link to this

Oh, sorry. (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 19:34:00 UTC Link to this

I'm better with movie wink-nudges by Karen on 2013-02-22 05:35:00 UTC Link to this

Like when, in Avatar: The Last Airbender, the Death Star is hanging outside a tavern in the guise of a lantern. Or all the Asian cultural references.

Kane Chronicles and Percy Jackson by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-22 02:49:00 UTC Link to this

From The Serpent's Shadow, the third book in the Kane Chronicles:

All her previous attempts had exploded or gone haywire, terrorizing Khufu and the initiates. Last week she'd created a magical Thermos with googly eyes that levitated around the room, yelling, "Exterminate! Exterminate!" until it smacked me in the head.

Would have been more obvious if if was a saltshaker, but Sadie's British, so her enchanting something with a Doctor Who reference isn't so far-fetched, especially since:

"Why once, in my bunker at Charing Cross Station, I stalked the deadly prey known as Jelly Babies."
Neith's eyes widened. "They are dangerous?"
"Horrible," I agreed. "Oh, they seem small alone, but they always appear in great numbers. Sticky, fattening - quite deadly. There I was, with only two quid and a Tube pass, beset by Jelly Babies, when...Ah, but never mind. When the Jelly Babies come for you...you will find out on your own."

So...Jelly Babies.

The first book of the Kane Chronicles, The Red Pyramid, references Percy Jackson. They're written by the same author, so that makes sense.

"So you can't live in Manhattan?" she asked.
Amos's brow furrowed as he looked across at the Empire State Building. "Manhattan has other problems. Other gods. It's best we stay separate."

And then, from the The Lightning Thief, the first Percy Jackson book:

I went up to the guard at the front desk and said, "Six hundredth floor."
He was reading a huge book with a picture of a wizard on the front. I wasn't much into fantasy, but the book must have been good, because the guard took a while to look up.

There just happens to be a very good book with a picture of a wizard on the cover that came out in 2005, when the Lightning Thief was published.

And in The Last Olympian:

A security guard was sitting behind the desk in the lobby, reading a big black book with a flower on the cover. He glanced up when we all filed in with our weapons and armor clanking.

There is a big black book with a flower on the cover on the cover that wouldn't be good enough to distract you from demigods.

I actually can't take credit for these last two, I saw the Harry Potter one here and the Twilight one here.

I did notice... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-22 20:14:00 UTC Link to this

... the 'other gods' line on first readthrough, sad to say. I think there was something in Throne of Fire to the same effect, but I forget what. And I haven't read Serpent's Shadow yet, so no spoilers, or it'll be fingers-in-the-ears time...

The book covers are awesome, however. Very awesome.

hS

I have one. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-22 01:05:00 UTC Link to this

The book All You Need Is Kill, when you paraphrase the plot, is basically the Halo games.

Main character fights aliens in a giant suit of armor, gets his ass summarily handed to him, respawns the day before the fight happened.

This goes on for the whole book.

It's worded well enough that it takes you a moment to figure out that he is constantly reviving at checkpoint, but still.

The guy's armor even comes standard equipped with a Halo-esque status HUD, for crying out loud.

I can think of one off the top of my head. by Riese on 2013-02-21 21:52:00 UTC Link to this

Ciaphas Cain mentions in Defender of the Imperium that he had expected "[a Tyranid] to look significantly less like something Arbitrator Foreboding would shoot."

A bit of context: in 40k fluff, the Adeptus Arbites functions as the Imperium's police force. They often act as judge, jury, and executioner, and can perform summary executions, much like the Commissars of the Imperial Guard.

In short, they function like 2000 A.D.'s Judges. Combine this with his name, Arbitrator Foreboding, and it's a stealth reference to Judge Dredd.

ECCC? by Techno-Dann on 2013-02-22 07:14:00 UTC Link to this

So, in a little bit more than a week, it's the Emerald City Comic Con once again! Are other people in the area / out of the area planning on attending?

VM, Nifar, Rosie, and I are doing a Girl Genius cosplay for one of the days!

Let me guess... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-22 15:33:00 UTC Link to this

It's nowhere near North California, right?

/depression

Actually... by VixenMage on 2013-02-22 17:44:00 UTC Link to this

*Disclaimer: VM is from New England, where state boundaries are a matter of 30-90 minutes. This may or may not effect descriptions of "distance" in the Pacific Northwest, as such.

It's in Seattle! So, if you're able to get up that-away, since it's not all that far from Northern California...

Seattle, you say? by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-23 01:15:00 UTC Link to this

Hmm... Bit of a drive, but I think we might have relatives in Washington who wouldn't mind the visit...

Could be worse. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-22 23:19:00 UTC Link to this

Being British, I subconsciously translate that 'state' nonsense as 'county'.

The largest county of any description over here is Yorkshire. It is significantly smaller than Connecticut - which is #48 on a list of state sizes. You could fit Yorkshire into California more than thirty times.

As for my own current home county... yeah, smaller than Rhode Island. So you can imagine how shocked my subconscious gets when I visit America and discover the airport is 'only' the length of England away from our destination...

hS

Could be even worse! by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-23 15:28:00 UTC Link to this

I'm from Canada, which is really big. Except for the Maritime provinces. It takes upwards of six hours to drive a quarter way across my home province!

(There's actually a song about that, appropriately enough called "Canada is Really Big")

Can be much less worse! by Desdendelle on 2013-02-23 15:50:00 UTC Link to this

Israel is small. I takes about a day to travel from its northernmost edge to its southernmost edge, and a few hours to travel from its western edge to its eastern edge. We don't have counties here - they'd be a bit larger than Rhode Island's. A bit.

@Tray-Gnome and Desdendelle by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 14:42:00 UTC Link to this

Wait, what?

First of all, well met, fellow Canadian! What province do you hail from, if you don't mind my asking?

Second--there's an Israeli in the PPC? (Besides me, I mean. And I'm technically just back for the year after having been gone for...a while.) I didn't know that! This is awesome! Hi! How are you? Why did I not know that there was someone else on the same timezone as me? Hi!

(Yup. This is me being excited. Duck and cover).

*bounces around in glee. Yes. Glee. Without the drama and singing, though.*

Hi, you guys!

~DawnFire

I'm from Ontario! by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-26 18:56:00 UTC Link to this

Kingston-ish, to be exact. You should hang out in the chat! There's even more of us there!

Hey, wow! Same province! by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 19:24:00 UTC Link to this

But different city/town/thing. My experience of Kingston is visiting relatives who live there and have a nearby cottage.

Which chat is this? The IRC?

Yay Canadians!

~DF

Indeed it is! (nm) by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-26 20:05:00 UTC Link to this

Cool! I'll check it out at some point. (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 20:11:00 UTC Link to this

But we have counties too by Data Junkie on 2013-02-23 09:42:00 UTC Link to this

Well, okay, maybe not Rhode Island. The counties would be like a meter each if they wanted more than two.

I find, when thinking in terms of distance, it helps to think of US states as countries instead. Just, y'know, countries that don't have border checks. Usually.

It even sort of works. I mean, my home state of Georgia is like half the size of France.

Oh, I know. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-23 11:22:00 UTC Link to this

I did say subconsciously.

hS

Introduction by Bausiren on 2013-02-23 00:02:00 UTC Link to this

Hi! I'm very excited about joining the PPC (I'm sure they could do without me, but they'll have to put up with me anyway, :P) Can't wait to start writing!
-Bausiren

Welcome! by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 16:40:00 UTC Link to this

Hi! Welcome to the Board!

LotR and HP, huh? Nice to meet you, sharer of my fandoms (yup, I'm one of those LotR fans Hermione mentioned. I'm also a member of the 'joined in the last 2 months' club. Glad you decided to join us!). Sorry for the potentially late welcome--I was away from the internet for the holidays. Have a large bar of Swiss Bleepolate--it distracts you with sugary goodness while working to erase whatever horrific details you've just been exposed to. Also, the pin from a LotR Sue's fake Lorien cloak (it looks and acts just like the real ones--except that it's much more sparkly, so it doesn't exactly camouflage well). Wear it/use it to distract people in good health!

~DawnFire

Welcome to the Board! by Silken Dawn on 2013-02-25 20:44:00 UTC Link to this

Hi, Bausiren!
Please take this complimentary Fluffy Wambler! See you around the board!

Welcome, welcome! by nedben on 2013-02-24 18:04:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the PPC! Have fun.

Also, here's your box of 20 generic food cubes! Great for on-the-go mission snacking.

Salutations by Myrddin on 2013-02-24 17:17:00 UTC Link to this

Another newbie to join the ranks, welcome! *digs around in a few trunks* I know I have some fun stuff for you in here somewhere.

Ah, here we are, as a welcome gift I'd like to present you with a baby oliphant and a giant wheel of cheese stolen from the "mature" storage side of the Cheez-It factory. :)

Re: Salutations by Anonymous on 2013-02-24 22:58:00 UTC Link to this

*grins wickedly* I'm sure I can find a use for these.

Welcome to the PPC. :) by Cassie on 2013-02-24 09:17:00 UTC Link to this

It's great to have new people. I remember when I was a newbie. Wonderful times... *nostalgia*

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. You can use them to distract and annoy Sues! :D

Hello, newbie! by son_of_heaven176 on 2013-02-24 04:33:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the PPC. Enjoy the many fun times to be had amidst this motley crew of Sue-slayers!

As for your gift, have this Smeargle plushie, a good companion for a budding writer. (I'm taking the gamble that you know enough about Pokemon to know what a Smeargle is.)

BTW, how did you run across the PPC?

Hello! by Lynne Lloyd on 2013-02-23 22:51:00 UTC Link to this

Hey there! Welcome to the Board. You can join the "I've joined within the last 2 months" club! Here, have a bar of yummy Bleepolate and a big urple party hat.

Ahoy thar! by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-23 20:39:00 UTC Link to this

Here, have a conical hat! It's made of tin foil, so it'll keep out the conspiracy theorists!

des has already referred you towards the constitution, but it's also a good idea to read the Newbie FAQ and the Original Series is also a very Good Thing to read! (Also, required, so there's that!)

Welcome by SingingTheThunder on 2013-02-23 20:15:00 UTC Link to this

Have a Weirdness Magnet, guaranteed to cause Interesting Times wherever you go.

(Not recommended for use in Discworld)

Re: Welcome by Anonymous on 2013-02-23 21:04:00 UTC Link to this

Weirdness is one thing I'm good with, and thus I feel I must thank you. :)

Hi~! by Karen on 2013-02-23 19:29:00 UTC Link to this

Another newbie, yay!

Hey-o. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-23 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Compatible with most Belkan cartridge systems!

Greetings! by Furyfire on 2013-02-23 13:22:00 UTC Link to this

Nice to meet you, newbie! Here's some Bleeprin, and have fun!

Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2013-02-23 13:03:00 UTC Link to this

Greetings, new friend! Have an egg timer! This one is an actual egg, and it counts down by getting more and more cracked before it finally hatches!

Hi Hello and Welcome! by Desdendelle on 2013-02-23 12:41:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the PPC! You have joined by posting here. Just leave your sanity at the door, it's not needed here.
Anyway: You should read The Constitution. There's a link on the Board's top. It is also recommended that you will read the Original Series, which you can find here. The Wiki is a useful source of information.
Last but not least, have this cup of Stygian Tea.

Stygian Tea
Item Level 3
Chance on Opening: Forget Bad Stuff as though affected by 1 pill of Bleeprin OR get damaged for 1d4+3 points of slashing damage because the leaves bit you.
[This small earthenware cup contains about two gulps of dark brown tea. It emits scraping noises.]

Selamat datang! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-23 02:54:00 UTC Link to this

Hi there! Enjoy your stay, and do read some missions,it's deadly awesome. My fandom is 6teen, Total Drama, Silmarillion, and Detentionaire, for now.

And have a crate of virtual kuih koci, with some Bleeprin in its gooey center. Very delicious, but beware the fattening powers of Malay sweetmeats. Also, Bleeprin overdose, if it exist...

Guten tag! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-23 01:25:00 UTC Link to this

That's German for good afternoon, I think. It's late afternoon where I am, so...

Have a newbie poke, and an Adventuring Cap!

(Adventuring Cap: increase chance of random boost to Charisma with Damsels In Distress.)

Hello! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-23 01:13:00 UTC Link to this

Hey, Bausiren! I be KittyNoodles, and as a welcome gift I have placed some bleepnerds and one Odd Container in your inventory! Enjoy!

Odd Container
Item Level 1
Chance on Opening: Receive one shower of confetti or one huggle - your choice
[The container is perfectly spherical and appears to be crated from glite-painted wood. Its weight changes at odd intervals, and you have the sneaking suspicion opening it may prove hazardous to your health if you aren't careful.]

Re: Introduction by Antigone68104 on 2013-02-23 00:59:00 UTC Link to this

Hi, have some fudge!

What fandoms are you interested in?

Re: Introduction by Anonymous on 2013-02-23 19:11:00 UTC Link to this

Fudge is good. Fudge is very good.
Mostly Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter, maybe-although I have little experience with Potter Sues.

You'll find many LOTR fans here. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-24 00:12:00 UTC Link to this

The Original Series is mostly LOTR, and it's pretty much required reading, so most of us are at least somewhat familiar with Tolkienverse. Any other fandoms? We're a big enough community that you will probably find someone who shares them.
Oh, newbie gifts! Have a wizard hat that changes color according to your mood!
Also, a tip - type in your username each time, becuse the login doesn't work and we like to know who's writing. :)
Welcome to the community!

Concerning Eragon by Karen on 2013-02-24 17:41:00 UTC Link to this

Something I've noticed about the PPC is that everyone says Eragon from the Inheritance Cycle is a Gary Stu. Most of my friends really like Eragon, and I'm okay with the series myself, so I don't quite see how Eragon is a 'Stu. Could someone explain it to me?

Plotholes and poor characterization. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-25 02:34:00 UTC Link to this

Let's take Eragon as an example of bad characterization. On one hand, he claims to be all fair-play and willing to accept his enemies' surrender. On the other hand... remember when he decimated an entire patrol with Arya whilst on foot? The sole survivor of the squad threw down his weapons but Eragon chased him down even as the man pleaded for his life, made it clear that he was unarmed and was surrendering for God's sake... and Eragon catches up to him and wrings his neck like a chicken.

Not cool. That's a war crime.

Paolini also has no grasp of nuclear physics whatsoever. Apparently, one Rider decided that he was going to turn himself into a nuke by saying something along the lines of "herp derp, E=MC²" (just how exactly did they discover the principles of nucleon-nucleon interaction with the technology they have now? You need to set up experiments involving electricity and charged particles to do that) and takes a chunk of Doru Araeba with him. He also leaves radioactive fallout behind too.

What.

Radioactivity is caused by the breakdown of instable isotopes. It affects living organisms by imparting energy into their flesh through particles given off by radioactive decay. Now, the book assumes that the person just becomes energy (I'm going to guess thermal, sound, and light, it is an explosion after all) just like that. There is no radioactive decay involved, nor is the fission of refined U-235, which is the usual source of radioactive fallout from nuclear weapons.

Time to play devils advocate. by World-Jumper on 2013-02-25 20:43:00 UTC Link to this

Not on the first point though, that was a bad moment in characterization. Of corse, we always have Galbatorix mind control to worry about, so perhaps he was not as bloodthirsty as it seemed. Still, I do see your point and took issue with Eragon as a character because of which.

However, on the nuclear physics problem, I do have to take issue. While I do not remember the passage you are referring to, I do know there is only one way this could be possible, and that's magic. This is a fantasy world of magic, and once you get magic into the fray, just about anything is possible. Is it a cheap excuse? Probably, however that is how it is. The elves have shown a clear understanding of several scientific principals because they were able to study it using magic, literally feeling how things worked. Add extra long life and a mind that can turn people insane by probing it, and you have a people who can know allot with very little technology.

Further, and this is a gripe about bad physics complainers in general, this is a brand new world. This is a completely different universe, with different rules, different systems. All of our science and physics, which are all theories for a reason might I add, are based off observations from our planet in our solar system in our galaxy, of which is one in billions at least. While fictional works set in other universes have the added bonus of having the possibility of completely different physics rules than our own, what is to say a different planet in a different solar system, perhaps in a whole other galaxy works in a way we currently think is impossible.

Now, this is not to say writers necessarily have a Get Out of Physics Free card, as they have to work with the rules of their world. I don't care if they have blatantly horrible science that make all scientists everywhere turn in their beds, as long as they stick to their world's rules. If your magic has a system to work with, then you break the rules later for 'cool factor' or Dues ex Machina, I have an issue with that. Because what I care about is a good story, something that entertains me or gets me to think in some way. Dues ex Machina is not good storytelling, but science is not necessary for good storytelling. If it is, then clearly everybody who wants to write any form of novel needs to have studied all of the history and science that exists to make sure it is accurate, and all sorts of great fantasy stories would not be nearly as entertaining as they are.

There, my rant is finished. It's just been a problem of mine for a while, and I felt I had to share my feelings on it.

I actually agree with you. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-25 22:39:00 UTC Link to this

They all have points: the theory thing is a pet peeve of mine too, and science is not limited to studying our solar system. There's a reason it's the gravitational constant of the universe.
But that's not your point, which is that science and magic don't play nice. As you said, "once you get magic into the fray, just about anything is possible". Introducing magic or science to the continuum diminishes or contradicts the existence of the other. Star Trek makes an effort to disprove every bit of "magic" they see (the ones they don't technobabble away are implied, Q being a prime example. In a way, it cements his trickster status, since it riles the main characters up that they can't explain him. But I digress), and Percy Jackson-verse demigods can't use cell phones. So while I can't speak on the specific scene (it's been a while since I read Eragon), I can say that nuclear physics and science are very hard to make compatible.
And that you should follow the established rules of your universe. That is the true indicator of Canon Sue-ishness - for example, Wesley Crusher is a Canon Sue because Picard lets him drive the ship when a) there are qualified Starfleet officers who should have that job and b) Picard doesn't like children all that much.
Anyhow, good points. Glad someone spoke up on the other side. One sided discussions aren't discussions.

Re: Time to play devils advocate. by Phobos on 2013-02-25 22:06:00 UTC Link to this

Devil's Advocate means that you are arguing a position that is counter to the one you hold and that doing so will clarify your own position as well as the one you currently argue. That does not appear to be what you are doing. You claim to be arguing your own position. That (and Nesh's issue) aside, I have other problems with your post.

"The elves have shown a clear understanding of several scientific principals because they were able to study it using magic, literally feeling how things worked."

You can't say that it is all magic, so science doesn't enter into it, and then claim that magic was the route through which they learned science. Science either holds in this world, or it doesn't, regardless of how they learned it. You've shot your own argument in the foot, here.

I do completely agree with you that a fantasy universe should follow its own rules. Scientists agree with that, in fact. Scientists love fantasy novels as much as the next person, or so I have been led to believe by hS's continued love of the Lord of the Rings. The problem in this instance is that Eragon doesn't follow the rules the author seems to have set up.

Yeah, I was going to advocate the devil... by World-Jumper on 2013-02-26 03:35:00 UTC Link to this

...but then I got off onto a rant, forgot what I set the subject heading as, and sorta left it. Yeah, my bad.

As for the Hypocrisy in my statement, I see what you mean and desided to rephrase it. What I meant was that the elves use so much magic, they have begun to understand the way their world works on a deeper level then other beings, a form of science that is possable in their world that would require advanced technology to understand for our world. This was in responce to the question on how a rider could understand nuclear theory without the technology to support it. However, I worded it poorly (along with the rest of my statement aparently) and thus did not say what I wished to say in the best way posable.

Disagreeing with your third paragraph. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-25 21:52:00 UTC Link to this

"[Our current scientific theories are based off of] observations from our planet in our solar system in our galaxy, of which it is one in billions[...]."

I think A Brief History of Time covers this, but I think I might be getting my sources mixed up here.

The problem with saying that the laws of physics don't apply to other areas of the universe is that that's implying there is another invisible force at work which modifies the behaviour of the aforementioned laws that we know. That means we should be able to see some boundaries somewhere, or at least measure some sort of difference between two sectors of space.

Furthermore, other galaxies are separated from us only by distance. Why would light/gravity/heat/energy transfer/quantum mechanics/general relativity/orbiting teapots behave differently if we moved several hundred million light years in some direction?

It also comes down to the emergence life being determined by physics too. As odd as it sounds, the laws of physics are so because any other combination would not yield our type of life. So when an author futzes too much with the laws of physics in his/her work, things can get messy (or weird) really quickly.

So... yeah, that's all I've got.

Inflation! by Huinesoron on 2013-02-26 17:05:00 UTC Link to this

(I just finished a 9-week astronomy course with Coursera, so...)

We observe from the cosmic microwave background ratiation ("the background temperature of the universe") that the energy levels in our bit of space - barring minor fluctuations like galaxy clusters and such - are remarkably uniform. Not completely uniform - there's fluctuations in the CMBR, which correspond in size to the expansion of the universe since the moment space became transparent.

[Quick explanation of this: If we imagine a bit of space one light-year across, which suddenly begins emitting randomised light across itself while expanding - and that one year later it has reached two light-years across - the light moving around in there will not have had time to cross the whole distance. Therefore, while in a small area of this space the temperature/light energy will have averaged out, there is no causal connection between the two sides of our 'bit of space' - they can't average with each other, so any imbalance when we set the light free remains present]

Unfortunately, the size of our observable universe (about 46 billion light-years, I think) is such that, were it to have been expanding steadily since the Big Bang, at the time space became transparent there wouldn't have been enough time for points on opposite sides of what we now see to have averaged out. Therefore, we ought to see wild imbalances in the CMBR, where very early fluctuations were preserved.

We don't. Therefore, it is hypothesised that very early in the universe's life, the whole thing expanded massively, meaning points which had already averaged out were suddenly too far away to have done so, were it not for this inflation.

But... it was proven last year that we (almost certainly) live in an infinite, flat universe. That means it was always infinite... just more compressed (that's how infinity works, I'm afraid). Which means that despite inflation, there are still (sigh) infinite reaches of space which did not have time to average out... and thus could have quite, quite different energy levels.

Of course, we do know that they're far beyond what we can see... which is quite a lot, really.

hS, astronomy!

Ooh, astronomy. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-26 17:56:00 UTC Link to this

I think I've seen that photo of the CMBR. Is it

this thing?

If I remember correctly, the inflation is tied to the Big Bang model, right?

*Looks it up on Google*

Boy, it's been a while since I've read about it. Excuse me while I go raid the library for some books on astrophysics...

That's the one. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-26 20:25:00 UTC Link to this

According to Wikipedia's image of the high-res version, the difference between red and blue on there (with blue being the hottest, because astronomy) is about 0.0002 K (or degrees Celsius if you don't speak science, or very roughly 0.0001 degrees Fahrenheit.

Which is not a lot of difference, when you recall that over a mere nine light-minutes, our solar system varies from millions of degrees to virtually absolute zero (ie, the sun to the dark side of the moon). Hence... well, everything I said before.

hS

Word. by Ellipsis Flood on 2013-02-25 23:45:00 UTC Link to this

Especially the last one. Sure, magic can explain how people can throw balls of fire/energy/stuff, but taking an existing phenomenon (radioactivity in this case) and using it in a way that makes no sense is one of these "rule of cool" things.

The first one to say "It's magic, we don't have to explain it!" will be tuna-slapped for making that reference.

Oh, lordy. by Neshomeh on 2013-02-25 21:08:00 UTC Link to this

Sorry, but you've tripped one of my pet peeves. ^^;

All of our science and physics, which are all theories for a reason might I add

Let me just point out for posterity that a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientifictheory">scientific theory is not the same thing as any old theory. In science, in order for your idea (or hypothesis) to be called a theory, it has to have been thoroughly tested and have a buttload of evidence to back it up. Hence, the theory of gravity, or the theory of relativity. They're not called theories because there's any doubt that these things actually exist, but rather because they are accepted scientifically as real things that operate in a certain way under certain conditions.

It drives me absolutely hair-tearing INSANE when people go "Well, it's just a theory" to write off science, because that word does not mean the same thing in that context. }=
~Neshomeh

Oh dear, did it come off that way? by World-Jumper on 2013-02-26 03:50:00 UTC Link to this

Oh my, I am so sorry, I did not mean for it to seem like I disregarded science. I know what scientific theories are and how they are different from regular theories. The reason I said it like that was because science can, and does, change. That is one of it's greatest qualeties in my opinion! Because it can change to fit the new data that is found that was perviously unknown, it can adapt to fit the truth much beter than some blanket statement of 'it is this and nothing elce.' So when I say 'It's just a theory,' I say it with pride rather than dismissal. My point was that there are several peices of data that we do not have yet, and so when somebody says that it is scientificaly incorrect, I have to wonder if it tuely is. Just because our current science says it is impossable, because it is theory not fact, we are able to see if it is possable under different conditions then what we have seen so far. So that was what I meant to say, not to insinuate that I disregarded science and the scientific principal.

A bit, yeah. by Neshomeh on 2013-02-27 02:13:00 UTC Link to this

Mainly because you said it in the context of "maybe nuclear physics could work differently someplace else in our universe," which SeaTurtle addressed.

Also, I get what you're saying about science being able to change and improve as we learn more, but I think "just theory" is not a good, clear way to express that, given how people usually use that particular bit of language.

~Neshomeh

Regarding Theories by Desdendelle on 2013-02-25 22:20:00 UTC Link to this

I. Nesh is right about what scientific theories are.
II. Science can be disagreed with without the 'it's just a theory' argument (for example: arguing that you can't get any real proof out of induction-based logic, a la Hume).
III. Still and most importantly, using MAGIC to solve your plotholes is cheating. It's just creating a bigger plothole.

About the magic thing... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 16:27:00 UTC Link to this

Does that also count for worlds where it's used as a primary power source, or where it's so heavily present that it's physically impossible for somebody to not be born with it?

I'd prefer to know in advance so that I can make some game changes before I get too far stuck in a corner.

(Specifically, I'm referencing my two stories, The Chronicles of Zeyr and Mage's Travels, where magic is a lot like oil in the former and oxygen, in a sense, in the latter. Mage's Travels especially tends to abuse the "fix it with magic" thing, but I usually have good reasons for WHY it does, i.e., "fire magic to melt the hinges on a door in case of emergency entry.")

That's not plothole fixing. by Ellipsis Flood on 2013-02-26 17:00:00 UTC Link to this

That's using magic the way it was written into the world.

Ah, gotcha. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:08:00 UTC Link to this

I thought he meant all magic fix-its in general, that's why I was asking.

As it is, magic is just another plot thing. by Ellipsis Flood on 2013-02-26 17:37:00 UTC Link to this

It can be explained well, it can be overexplained and it can be complete bull in its logic. It all depends on what you do with it.

Personally, I try to keep to its roots... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:59:00 UTC Link to this

Mystical power unbound by human hands, understood little but used with practiced skill by those who possess its great gift, that sort of thing.

The Merlin story, basically. Or as close to it as I can get. (He's even referenced as a sort of demigod in the Mage's Travels storyline.)

Even when magic is used as an industrial power source. Because the people who use it like that have literally no idea what all it's capable of.

I can say though, having read Kippur's sporkings, that I at least stick to my already-established guidelines for magic, hence avoiding this magical nuke dump that Galbatorix apparently does at one point.

Nukes? by Karen on 2013-02-25 18:06:00 UTC Link to this

Wow. That is...uh. Wow.

I'm concerned for Galbatorix's health... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:26:00 UTC Link to this

Especially if he's defecting nuclear explosions.

Well, the final fight was pretty odd. *Spoilerrific* by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-26 17:40:00 UTC Link to this

Galbatorix pulls the nuke card again (by saying "be not") and blows himself up right before Eragon kills the king with feels.

Yeah.

I still think the best part of the book was when Eragon stood at Ground Zero of the Galba-nuke and survived a fireball that, for all intents and purposes, was a mini-sun minus nuclear fusion.

Also, how does one defect a nuclear explosion?

Wait. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:09:00 UTC Link to this

WHAT DID I WRITE?!

Oh for goodness' sake...

That was supposed to be defecate.

In the immortal words of the TF2 Engineer: by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-26 18:45:00 UTC Link to this

THAT NUKE THERE IS A SPAH.

...but yes, Eragon survives a nuke in the face. That pretty much sums up how OP our protagonist is. Then again, he did cure cancer, so nukes are no biggie.

If ever there is a sequel to the Inheritance ~~trilogy~~ cycle, I am betting Eragon will invent necromancy or something and overrule the you-can't-mess-with-the-dead theme that was present in Brom's death. It's only logical that after pushing the limits of how much punishment you can take before you die, he goes on to define what "only mostly dead" means.

Jeez... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 19:05:00 UTC Link to this

Not even the mages in my Made's Travels series are quite that OP. (And trust me, sometimes I wonder where my head was in regards to Shepard Hallend.)

For that matter, not even the Immortal Eldraec (no, that is their title of address, they don't actually being to any specific race) aren't that bad. Sure, I might have had them be ridiculously powerful and able to withstand any instant-death method that Fate did not say would kill them (because that's the only canonical way they can die - Fate had to decide as such. The Eldraec are basically representatives of the gods, after all.), but at least there's some power st work that holds them to this guideline. Eragon is apparently flipping off whatever unexplained deities exist in his world. Which I guess is par for the course, considering he's an arrogant prick.

So, Eragon had outclassed my mages, and is dangerously close to outclassing my immortal demigods. Wonderful.

I don't know, but I imagine it's like sh*tting bricks... by Anonymous on 2013-02-26 18:04:00 UTC Link to this

Made of Explodium.

Wait, so I'm supposed to believe that Eragon survived a NUKE?

So, then he's been made basically immortal? (Well, it was listed as a rider trait... Kind of a weak one, though, all you have to do is stab and/or poison them.)

If I might make a reference here, Kaim Argonar from Lost Odyssey survived a meteor the size of Russia being dropped on a battlefield, but even that was just barely due to his immortality stepping in and protecting him.

I am not going to start calling Eragon "Eragon Argonar".

As Tray noted... by Phobos on 2013-02-25 01:30:00 UTC Link to this

...we get this question every once in a while. I find the easiest way to handle this is to point you to the sporkings of the series that were done by Kippur.

You can find the link here.

And if you've been linked twice... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-25 07:59:00 UTC Link to this

... you know it's worth reading.

hS

It really is (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-26 00:19:00 UTC Link to this

Re: Concerning Eragon by Ellipsis Flood on 2013-02-24 21:27:00 UTC Link to this

I love the fact that the fact that Eragon can light his sword on fire is displayed as a negative thing.

PS: Said sword only lights on fire because he accidentally discovered its true name. Also, it was made by a blacksmith who had sworn to never make a weapon for a rider again.

We seem to have this thread a lot... (nm) by Tray-Gnome on 2013-02-24 21:21:00 UTC Link to this

I think it's just a thing. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 19:26:00 UTC Link to this

In popular stories, people who don't like the character with a Chosen One archetype who learns magic and other stuff are apt to use Gary Stu as an insult.

Me, I used to like it, but now am just bored with it. But I don't call Eragon a Stu, because his ascension to power is canon. That, and he's countered by more powerful nemeses the whole way through, so it balances out.

This, in fact, makes him counter to what Mary Sues/Gary Stus typically embody, which is usually "Unrivaled in Power" or something like that.

Hell, I got a thief character right now who soon meets his match in the form of a Huntsman with a quicker wit than him.

Anyhow, as I said, I think it's just an argument people who don't like the series try to make, and little else.

Erm... by Neshomeh on 2013-02-25 17:53:00 UTC Link to this

In popular stories, people who don't like the character with a Chosen One archetype who learns magic and other stuff are apt to use Gary Stu as an insult.

Maybe this isn't what you mean, but that line seems to say that the only possible reason for people to think Eragon is a Gary Stu is that they just hate the whole Hero's Journey thing. This is problematic to me for a couple of reasons.

First, why did all of these people pick up the book in the first place if they hate the archetype so much? It's pretty obvious pretty quickly that Eragon is a Fated Hero with a Quest of Destiny, IMO.

Second, this is a very widely used archetype we're talking about, appearing in such monumental works as the original Star Wars trilogy, The Matrix, Harry Potter, and The Lord of the Rings. Many of us here are fans of these things, and yet dislike Eragon. Are these people, personally, insulting a character for no good reason just because they dislike his whole character archetype, or is it possible that they have logical reasons backed up with facts about his particular characterization and story? Perhaps a sort of "list of charges" against him, if you will?

Now, it's entirely possible that some people have hurled insults at Eragon just to be trolls or hipsters or whatever and could never have enjoyed that type of story, let alone this one in particular, but you seem to have tarred everyone who thinks he's a Stu with one haterbrush. Just sayin', you might want to think that allegation over a little bit.

~Neshomeh

Yeah... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 15:42:00 UTC Link to this

My only explanation for the allegations is that I dont follow the Eragon fandom at all, and after reading Kippur's sporkings, I'm not sorry for that, and back in my GaiaOnline days it was completely the norm for haters of a story to call the protagonist a Mary Sue without reason or provocation.

Bad excuse, yes, but it's the truth nonetheless.

But is he? by Huinesoron on 2013-02-24 20:01:00 UTC Link to this

countered by more powerful nemeses the whole way through, I mean.

Most Sues don't claim to be the ultimate power in the universe etc etc. Most of them pay lip service to the idea that they're weak, or at least weaker than certain others.

But often it isn't true. If I claim to be only a beginner at magic, but then 'amazingly' my newbie Fireball of Divine Sparkliness catches the Big Bad off-guard and blows him to shreds... was I really weak to start with, or just saying I was?

Once, perhaps, could be actual luck. But when a character goes up against 'more powerful' enemies repeatedly and wins every time (or every time it matters)... well, you have to wonder.

hS, Level VI caster of Fireballs of Divine Sparkliness

True. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-24 20:56:00 UTC Link to this

I think a lot of it could also be chalked up to the Willing Suspension of Disbelief, too - how much are you willing to let slide before you finally call bull?

When it's an original canon, I'm much more forgiving in this regard, so I'm not always apt to jump to Mary Sue protagonists at the first red flag. Call it a failing on my skepticism's behalf.

*In which SC proves that if you mapped his brain on a scatter plot chart, you would find it very difficult to read, because his mind is super-screwy.*

I can't remember if I've read Eragon... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-24 18:05:00 UTC Link to this

... although I did watch the film, I recall.

Anyway, one highly popular (at the time) dissection of why the Inheritance Cycle is often reviled is Kippur's sporkings. Kippur, by the way, is a former PPC (author of Agents Alec Troven and Verra Rose of the Department of Improbabilities), and I think quite funny.

Also, the sporking features zombie horses. So it can't be all bad.

hS

Speaking of Kippur's sporkings... by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-27 18:14:00 UTC Link to this

Has anyone else read his Maximum Ride sporking? Maximum Ride is a series about a group of avian/human hybrids that sounds interesting when you first hear about it, but then when you read it you realize it's a bunch of plotholes held together by some snark. And Kippur points that out hilariously.

Ahhh the sporking is epic :D (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-25 17:16:00 UTC Link to this

Implied speshulness? by nedben on 2013-02-24 17:50:00 UTC Link to this

Maybe it's because some of his characteristics fall into traits that Suvian characters display a lot.

Being unique by last surviving member of an order? Speshulness. Possible angst hidden in there somewhere? Eyup. et cetera. Entire thing centered mostly on him slightly moreso than other protagonists? Resolved itself later, but somewhat. Dead parents? He's no batman, but using it to accentuate a charge list might not be good.

However, Sues aren't all bad...When written well, or baked into souffles.

...And I need to work on writing charge lists for Sues just over the border.

Nah, I'll just judge the outcome of a 30-sue-pileup in the Harry Potter canon.

This sounds like... by Huinesoron on 2013-02-24 18:02:00 UTC Link to this

... a conflict of definitions.

However, Sues aren't all bad...When written well

I'm aware that in some circles, the term 'Mary-Sue' is used almost as a synonym for 'original female character'. That's fine - people are allowed to define words however they want.

However, the PPC definition strongly implies (although it doesn't appear to actually state) that a Mary-Sue - when the PPC-at-large talks about them - is first and foremost a badly-written character.

To avoid killing a real character, the assassination must be justified with charges. Some characters may only be borderline Sues, with the potential to become real people with a bit of outside help.

Thus, as a fact of definition, a Mary-Sue is badly written. While there is a comment to this effect on the linked Wiki page:

It is important to note that this does not automatically mean that a Mary Sue character can't be enjoyable to read about if written well, but there's the rub: it is extremely difficult to write about this character type in a way that creates an entertaining story.

... I understand this to mostly be discussing parodies of various stripes. The self-aware Sues, the ones the canons are aware of, the ones who get nitpicked or the ones who lose - these are fun to read about, because they're being written as a Mary-Sue, not as an attempt to make a wonderful character.

hS

Fun with Impossibility! by nedben on 2013-02-24 18:17:00 UTC Link to this

My point exactly. PPC-targeted Sues aren't written well. That's why it's so fun to point out the impossibilities in a sporking.

Okay... by Karen on 2013-02-25 17:13:00 UTC Link to this

So, what I've gotten from that is Eragon has 'Stu qualities, but having those qualities doesn't necessarily make him one because the story is well-written. Am I on the right track?

In addition... by Neshomeh on 2013-02-25 19:06:00 UTC Link to this

In the linked Mary Sue page, there's a distinction made between characteristics associated with Sues (Secondary Traits) and characteristics that make a Sue (Primary Traits). IMO, Kippur demonstrates that Eragon possesses all three primary traits, therefore he is a Stu by our definition, regardless of the technical quality of the writing (which, as hS points out, is debatable).

That doesn't mean you're not allowed to enjoy the books, though. If it doesn't matter to you whether he's a Stu or not, and they give you joy, then who cares? {= )

~Neshomeh

If you replace 'because' then 'if', then yes. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-25 18:22:00 UTC Link to this

The thing is, in some ways 'well-written' is subjective. Obviously actual errors in grammar and elementary logic are one thing, but when it comes down to 'unbelievable', then... well, practically all of fiction is unbelievable. No, boys who have grown up on a farm don't go on to become Jedi super-pilots who can down giant war machines with a freak shot - they go on to become farmers, or at best, in times of extreme need, mediocre pilots after a whole heap of training.

So you draw the line in your own head. Doubtless there are people who think Luke Skywalker is a Gary-Stu - equally, for literally any character you can name, there are going to be people who think they're well-written and entertaining.

(However, all that said, I personally think Eragon does fail Basic Logic - both my wife and the Kippur sporkings note 'the Urgals sprang back, motionless' in the prologue. It takes some doing to go wrong that fast...)

hS

The spammers have returned by firemagic on 2013-02-26 00:52:00 UTC Link to this

It's only been a couple weeks since the last one, too. Nameless Admin?

/goes to search for the Admin signal and hopes it's cloudy out.

And now they're gone. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:11:00 UTC Link to this

Leaving us with oodles of topics to hijack, yes?

(not me, mind you - I can't think of anything to post.)

Uhm...? by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 00:55:00 UTC Link to this

Very very strange, this is.

Also I'm pretty sure all of those might be pron sites.

I'm not sure 'strange' covers it... by Fish Custard on 2013-02-26 01:06:00 UTC Link to this

In the interest of ~~science~~ mad science, I loaded the various links in a virtual machine I have running for this kind of thing.

The tumblr links are innocuous, just image-blog-things belonging to two random people.

As for the others, all of them except for mpl.com are just holding pages for unregistered/unused domains.

mpl.com belongs to a web dev/network administration company.

All in all: Wat.

OY! WHERE'Z ALL DEZE RUNTY GITZ COMIN FROM? GIT 'EM, BOYZ! (nm by RIESE DA WEIRDBOY on 2013-02-26 00:55:00 UTC Link to this

Oh dear... (nm) by MAXinsanity on 2013-02-26 00:59:00 UTC Link to this

WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 00:56:00 UTC Link to this

BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES! GIT THE CANNONS! FIRE AT WILL, M'BOYS!

CARRIER HAS ARRIVED. RELEASING INTERCEPTORS. (nm) by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-26 05:03:00 UTC Link to this

*pumps shotgun* by PitViperOfDoom on 2013-02-26 02:39:00 UTC Link to this

*CHA-CHAK* IT'S SPAMBOT SEASON AGIN, FOLKS! FIRE UP THE OVENS, WE EATIN' GOOOOOD TONIGHT!

Wake the chefs! Call the kitchen runners! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 02:53:00 UTC Link to this

LET'S MOVE PEOPLE, THOSE SPAMMERS WON'T HUNT THEMSELVES.

Spammers sappin mah Posting Board! by World-Jumper on 2013-02-26 03:09:00 UTC Link to this

Ya sap meh, I zap you! Common lads! Let's head forth and toss a spanner in the spammers! YEAAAAAAARGH!

THAT MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. LET'S DO IT. (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 03:28:00 UTC Link to this

*Readies cookies* by Karen on 2013-02-26 04:54:00 UTC Link to this

LET'S DO THIS THING.

Also cookie?

YEEEUH C'MON LET'S GO BURNINATE SOME SPAMMERS BOYS. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 05:20:00 UTC Link to this

Oh, I love cookies! -daintily take a bite out of one-

LET'S GO GIT 'EM!

*Will ducks and covers his head* (nm) by Apricot on 2013-02-26 02:26:00 UTC Link to this

Thank you, I'm glad somebody said it :D (nm) by Myrddin on 2013-02-26 16:07:00 UTC Link to this

AYE AYE CAP'N! *BOOM* (nm) by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-26 01:38:00 UTC Link to this

WE'ZE GUNNA KRUMP DEZE GITZ GOOD! WAAAAAAGH! (nm) by RIESE DA WEIRDBOY on 2013-02-26 01:01:00 UTC Link to this

GO AWAY /d/ NOBODY LIKES YOU (nm) by Riese on 2013-02-26 00:58:00 UTC Link to this

Re: GO AWAY /d/ NOBODY LIKES YOU by melancholicPoet on 2013-02-26 02:23:00 UTC Link to this

D:

I will refrain from reposting the name that brought that on, by Riese on 2013-02-26 15:55:00 UTC Link to this

But it was deserved. Frakking spammers.

(And I was mostly kidding. /tg/ is /d/-lite, after all)

Sue Queens by nedben on 2013-02-26 01:34:00 UTC Link to this

Since the spambot will probably shove this into the archives, I might as well ask.

Since I didn't see a wiki article (yet), I've decided to ask if anyone else has already had the idea of Sues that, instead of bit characters, generate full-blown Suvian characters, like a mobile Sue factory?

My vision of them is basically "Mary Sue coated in crystallized glitter with a bloodstream full of infectious sue-related diseases".

Just decided to check. Insert apologetic look here.

Also! by VixenMage on 2013-02-26 04:33:00 UTC Link to this

Probably not a good idea to reply to the spambot - all xir posts will just be poofed anyway. I'm not entirely sure if it creates more work for TNA, but in any case, stamping your IP on a reply to something spamming misspelled swears is probably not the best idea. Unless we all pick one to jump on as a joke/RP thread, it's not going to do much, since it's probably not even human.

Not noticably more work, no. (nm) by The Nameless Admin on 2013-02-26 09:17:00 UTC Link to this

Noted. Thanks! (nm) by VixenMage on 2013-02-26 16:51:00 UTC Link to this

Try the Other Board. by VixenMage on 2013-02-26 04:30:00 UTC Link to this

It's located at http://disc.yourwebapps.com/Indices/241484.html (for future reference), and it's where we generally hide out in case of spambots, until The Nameless Admin shows up with the Hammer of +1 Fixing.

Another Board? :O by Karen on 2013-02-26 04:56:00 UTC Link to this

So...is this other Board some sort of secret? Or is just a thing that's there? Does it have any special function?

It's just a thing that's there. by VixenMage on 2013-02-26 05:56:00 UTC Link to this

It gets used for RPs, so they don't stretch and derail the Main 'Board, and it's also used for a spam-attack-shelter... though it looks like this one's finally stopped.

RP, you say? by nedben on 2013-02-26 22:10:00 UTC Link to this

Ooh, do we need approvals or is it a free thing?

If 'approvals'=Permission, then no. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 10:09:00 UTC Link to this

*adopts stuffy voice* As the Permission article clearly states in section--

*drops stuffy voice* Wait, no, I can't do this. Hold on, I need to find the voice...it's not mine, you understand, but I have to return it in good condition. *crawls around on the floor looking for the stuffy voice*

Anyway, there is a section in the Permission article on the wiki that says that you don't need Permission to RP, MST, and so on.

Of course, if that's not what you were referring to, then...Hi! Good morning/afternoon/evening! (choose one that applies) How are you this fine day/night?

~DF

Please don't mind the mispunctuation. '-_- (nm) by nedben on 2013-02-26 01:37:00 UTC Link to this

Ah, curse my faux-allegiance to Morgoth! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-26 07:35:00 UTC Link to this

The spams! They are everywhere! And I can't even eat them, even if I'm allowed to!

Alright, daak, what'd you do? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 07:40:00 UTC Link to this

There has to be some reason that the crazies got out of their cages again, what'd the Dark Lord make you do?

Also: good Aeldra, it's like a trollapalooza in here!

It all began when Earendil... by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-26 07:51:00 UTC Link to this

Let me speak to Morgoth from behind the Door. He told me that Morgoth can still make pranks from the other side, and I scoffed at him. Humans did better at that, I said. Then he left me alone. We played Battleships, which I didn't know how to play, and somehow Morgoth won. I could hear his happy shouts from the door. Then I asked my leave, need to check up on the Board. Then this happened.

Or maybe Saruman regains some of his powers, and tried to be a hacker instead. Any guesses are good enough to me.

[So the roleplay of the Tolkienverse begins. Any comments on anything not in the roleplay must be written as so. Anyways, I might get wrong on some points, so corrections a re encouraged.]

What was that about a roleplay, you said? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 07:59:00 UTC Link to this

(I, of course, shan't participate - I have like, zip knowledge when it comes to Tolkien. But I'll at least advertise it.)

Nothing, my Lord! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-26 08:04:00 UTC Link to this

Didn't know Morgoth can hear me from here. Or is it Earendil?

[It's OK. I only want to start the rock rolling, I'm expecting the rest to continue the avalanche and me joining in a bit, while learning more about Tolkienverse.]

Morgoth is behind this? by Karen on 2013-02-26 18:23:00 UTC Link to this

I must admit my knowledge of Morgoth's powers are lacking. How is it he can affect us so when he is in the Void?

Because Arda is his Ring. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 03:40:00 UTC Link to this

As in, Morgoth has invested most of his powers to Arda in order to control it. He failed to gain full control, but he's powerful enough at his height to make you sneeze outside of flu season, or spice shops. Or at least, that's what he said. I may need to tip off Aule to repair the Door of the Night. I don't want my village of orcs to stop knitting just because there is Dagor Dagorath looming. Which by the way, how I got my title Dark Lord. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHHH!!!!

[Yes, Tolkien had said that Arda is Morgoth's Ring, which also meanns that until Arda is destroyed, or mended, Morgoth will continue to exist. He may be able to exert more of his powers as the Door of the Night, the one thing that stops him from reentering Arda, weakens.]

So that's what it means. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 10:13:00 UTC Link to this

You make your orcs knit? What kind of soft Dark Lord are...waitaminute, that's actually kind of evil. Nevermind. Carry on! What do your orcs knit?

[That's fascinating! I didn't know that, mainly because I have yet to get my hands on a copy of Morgoth's Ring. Thanks for sharing!]

~DF

Sarungs, oven gloves with asbestos coverings,... by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 11:51:00 UTC Link to this

..., chainmail armours, even tablecloths, for a right price. Yes, Orcs can knit chainmail armour. I have a few of Shelob's cute little fuzzy-wuzzy spideys crawling around. Their silk is hard to cut, so I had to go to a store and buy some grinders. But the effort is worth it. I don't do mail-order though.

Sarungs? by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 13:08:00 UTC Link to this

How about if I send an agent to collect it? That way no one has to mail anything; it all travels by portal.

~DF

[Sorry for the double-post] (nm) by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 16:32:00 UTC Link to this

Deal. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 16:13:00 UTC Link to this

I'll take Bleep products, mini-Balrog hugs, sueflesh, and Glitter as payment.

Actually, my manager had told me, that sarung, tablecloth, kilts and carpets are now being made using looms. We had to fulfill our quota on gloves, since some orc communities require heat-and-fire resistant gloves for their machines and hands. But we will knit it if we had to put some extra stuff in it, such as our common product, steel-plated kilts.

Need anything special to be loomed into your sarong? Also, Spider silk is tough enough on it's own, but we may be on short supply on that, so we will be willing to accept a few mini-Aragogs or their silk. I just need to look into it, maybe it'll also be useful. A guide on caring for mini-Aragogs is also appreciated.

Also, we have 20% Spider-Silk, for casual daywear, 60% for low-grade armour, and 100% for medium-grade armour. Pick your choice.

[Sarung is analogous to skirt, but is worn by male and female alike. I'm just posting this to double-check that you know.]

Waitaminute, I seem to have confused sarung and armor. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 19:19:00 UTC Link to this

What does the armor look like? And can sarung be made with Spider silk?

~DF

My only problem with the double-post... by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 19:16:00 UTC Link to this

...is that it made me think I had three replies and got all excited. Oh well.

[Ooh, so sarung is the plural of sarong? Didn't know that. I did know what a sarong is, though, but thanks for the clarification anyway]

I can give you hugs from six (6) mini-Balrogs, as well as several giant bars of Swiss Bleepolate. I unfortunately have yet to acquire a mini-Aragog (or a guide to caring for them), but I have copious amounts of glitter left from an exploding Sue in an RP. You can have as much of it as you like, as long as you're the one to get it off the walls and furniture. I can send an agent or two with the rest.

Do you do fireproof carpets? A couple of those would be useful, as would a couple of pairs of fireproof gloves. So would a mini-Balrog-resistant tablecloth. And a low-grade (or medium-grade, if supplies last) armor sarong would come in handy for any missions to Tamora Pierce's Tricksterverse...

(My brain is currently trying to run away with the idea of a crazy agent or two having a picnic with several minis. It's a very strange idea, at least the way it's going in my head. It'll probably end up happening.)

~DawnFire

PS: ...no wonder I have six mini-Balrogs. I was just asking for that, putting 'fire' as part of my name.

PPCS: To that end, I have just now decided to give Agent Dawn a very embarrassing surname, which most likely deals with pyromania. Now what should it be...

PPPS: Hm. I seem to be making a habit of thinking up ways to embarrass Agent Dawn. This may be a bad thing for Agent Dawn.

Your orders, and answers too. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 20:05:00 UTC Link to this

[The first one, sarung, is the word in Malay language, while the second, sarong, is the word in english language. In Malay, the plural for sarung is actually sarung-sarung. I sometimes revert to Malay if the word is borrowed from there, sorry.]

Sarung is just a large piece of cloth sewed into a cylinder. Human-made sarongs can't really made them into armour, but the orcs made some sarongs that are resistant against swords and arrows, thanks to those Children of Shelob.

Our cloth armour are more like gambesons, but a bit lighter. Some of my orcs do work with chainmail, and we use 60% aluminum, 40% steel to reduce its weight. We may also add the sarong with a layer of metal plates, if you wish for added protection. My orcs are still receiving training on making armour trousers, so those have to wait. We also throw in sarong belts to hold up your sarong, especially for long fights or running. Can't have it slip off while fighting Sues, yes?

If you don't mind, I'll have two of my orcs to clean the place. They are quite trained in cleaning stuffs, and can make the room smells of lemons too, if you want. Point my orcs to the location, and they'll do their best.

I've prepared in my lair, a fire-resistant carpet, and a fire-resistant tablecloth, 3 pairs of fireproof gloves, four pairs of sarongs and their accompanying belts, two low and two medium grades, two pairs of our gambesons, a chainmail armour, the two orcs for cleanup, and copious amount of bacon and eggs, for the mini-Balrogs. I do hope the mini-Balrogs don't bite, the orc-kids have been pestering their parents for weeks, and I've promised them something to entertain the kids. Even orcs need their rest, yes? It will be waiting for your portal to open, and don't forget to bring your mini-Balrogs and Swiss Bleepolates.

The mini-Aragogs can wait, but I'd like an agent to supervise us on mini-Balrog safety. I know they like eggs and bacon, but they may still be dangerous, being a Flame of Udun and all that. I've prepared some fire-resistant clothing for the kids, but better preparation can't hurt.

Anyways, feedback on our products are very much appreciated. Dark Lord Glitter Glamour, clothing orcs, men, and fashionable Sues since 1985.

[I'm implying that I'm not the first lord of these orcs, nor the first one to think of making a boutique using these orcs as labour. As for the picnic, let me know when you've written it. It must be awesome. Sarong can be made with any type of clothing fibre, cotton, silk, nylon, you name it. If the scientists can produce commercially affordable spider-silk, it will also be used to make sarongs.]

Forgot to mention... by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 21:05:00 UTC Link to this

If I ever end up with any mini-Aragogs, I'd be happy to volunteer their services as silk spinners. Alternatively, you can have the first shot at adopting some from the first HP badfic I take on (assuming that it spawns any minis).

~DF

I cannot even describe how awesome your last post is. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 20:45:00 UTC Link to this

[Ah, I see. I'm familiar with the English version, both from Tamora Pierce's books and from actually owning a green one. What 'verse is Malay from?]

Gambesons? *looks up a picture* Ooh, I like! :D Very nice.

We may also add the sarong with a layer of metal plates, if you wish for added protection.
Very useful, that sounds. Yoda, I am am not.

We also throw in sarong belts to hold up your sarong, especially for long fights or running. Can't have it slip off while fighting Sues, yes?
Definitely not. Can't have the Sue start taunting the agents about their clothes falling down. Also, can't have the agents saying, 'Oh, so sorry, would you mind waiting a moment while I put this back on? Thanks.' Belts are mandatory.
(Oh dear. That's probably going to happen at some point--the sarong falling down, that is. I really am too fond of thinking up embarrassing things for my agents...)

Ooh! I will be quite glad to welcome your orcs. I don't suppose they can make the room smell of lavender, though? I prefer it to lemons. Tell them to come to my room at the Board...whatever-it-is. Alternatively, if they can't find it, try Agent Dawn's RC 18. The glitter may have moved there once it discovered that RC 18 is somewhat more tangible than my room at the Board.

That sounds perfect. Thanks very much--that was extremely prompt, too! In light of the size of the order, Agent Dawn will be bringing Agents Edgar and Brenda along with her. Please don't be alarmed by Dawn's craziness, Edgar's sobriety, or Brenda's...well, actually, she's probably the least unusual of the three, for a PPC agent. Just keep any and all bad writing away from her. But yes, don't be alarmed--they're more or less harmless, as long as they're not provoked and you're not a Sue. Dawn will talk your ear off, Edgar will ferry the orders back through the portal, and Brenda will supervise the minis. And don't worry, the minis are quite well-trained. Two belong to a former OFUM student, one is, unfortunately, somewhat depressed, one feels that it should be a mountain (and is somewhat exuberant), and the last two tend to be very calm and spend a lot of time safeguarding Agent Dawn/their RC. (The mini-Balrogs, in order, are Glorfinel and Ectheleon, Neinor, Caradharas, and Gladladriel and Kelaborn). The only one to really watch out for is Caradharas--its main appearance in canon (properly spelled, that is) contains a wicked temper and an avalanche. Let it near only the bounciest of orc-kids. The rest should be fine, but Agent Brenda will oversee them (with Agent Dawn supposedly helping) just in case. I'm sure the minis will be glad to see some new people--just keep fanbrats away from them, if you have any. They're liable to be chased. (The bars of Swiss Bleepolate will be with Agent Dawn, by the way). Thanks very much for preparing food for the minis; they really do like to eat!

Feedback will most likely come in the form of mentions and usage in missions. I'm sure everything will work out quite well :)

[Well, it is a very evil idea. It also keeps the orcs out of trouble, and prevents them from constant attack by residents of Middle-earth, where I assume the factory is--they're a fully legitimate business, and they make such useful things! No need to wipe them out. As to the picnic...*sigh* It looks like it'll definitely be happening--it'll most likely be an interlude called 'Agent Dawn and the Mini-Balrog Picnic ~~of Doom~~'. I don't know where exactly it'll end up taking place--possibly on the grounds of OFUM, if that's allowed--but it will make quite a bit of use of the fireproof tablecloth, and will hopefully not contain too much terrorizing of innocent wildlife. (...it's going to end up with the minis chasing OFUM students, isn't it. Oh dear.) Thanks for mentioning fireproof tablecloths and thereby inspiring the idea (really, what else does one do with a fireproof tablecloth but have a picnic with mini-Balrogs? Or perform mad science experiments, I suppose...)]

~DF

Sorry, double post. (nm) by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 21:48:00 UTC Link to this

No worries. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 22:47:00 UTC Link to this

I actually double-posted my introductory post. It happens.

~DF

Lavender it is. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 21:45:00 UTC Link to this

[Malay is a race in the real world. Predominantly in Malaysia. Some tribes in Sabah bind their allegiance to this race too, mine included.]

A few shovels, wheelbarrows, dusters, large bottles, and gunny sacks will be with my orcs, with may need to be more than two. Didn't know how thick is the glitter, nor the size of the room. Better safe than sorry. Their leaders are GulBrack and Shoppsi. Gulbrack will find the room at the Board, and Shoppsi will go to RC 18. Each of them will bring two orcs with them, so it'll be six. Please guide them safely.

Thanks for your overseeing agents. The orc kids are going to have a joyful afternoon with the mini-Balrogs. Will a ball of spider-silk calm Caradharas? We often use it as a stress-relieving ball, by juggling it. I'm not very good at that, though. It may need to be calmed, as we mostly work underground. Don't worry, we keep our writing in our lockers. So long as the agents don't snoop around, they won't be spooked.

Gladladriel and Kelaborn will be near their RC when giving the hugs. I hope Agent Dawn won't mind. Don't worry about the fanbrats, they'll have no cartoons for the week if they misbehave, Dark Lord's command.

Point your portal to Five meters under this address: No 2.34, Jalan 35 Beruk, Taman Orkid di Bawah Kelapa, 88123, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. 5° 58′ 17.2″ N, 116° 5′ 43.68″ E [Address and coordinates are fictional] We are an underground factory, covering as a normal, one-storey house. Thus we pay license without tax, since we are covered under Small and Medium Industries Act, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!

Oh, and since this is a feast, your agents are also welcome to chow down. Our specialty are rendang, buras, ayam lengkuas, Tenom coffee and pizza. All preparations are in order, let us portal!

[I always assume that Middle-Earth is transformed through the ages into a version of the world today. It is how I understand Tolkien made his world. Hope that isn't too uncanonical.]

[I may lose control over the orcs sometimes. Your story will prove very interesting. Please, make it happen. And, picture my character as near-sighted, since that's what I am in the real world. Stu beginnings? ]

Whee! by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 23:08:00 UTC Link to this

[Lost again, I'm afraid. What's Sabah?]

Well, as the room's size occasionally shifts, and the glitter was pretty thick the last time I saw it, that's probably a good idea. The orcs will be safely guided, don't worry. They'll even be guided safely back.

As long as the spider-silk ball won't burn up on contact with Caradharas, I don't see why that can't be tried. At the very least, perhaps someone could lend a mini-Balrog of Gandalf or Saruman to occasionally sit on Caradharas.

The agents will...attempt not to snoop. Honestly, Dawn will probably be too busy talking, and Edgar will be too busy hurrying up so he can get back to his RC. Brenda...well, hopefully she'll be too busy overseeing the minis to go snooping. If anything happens, I'll make sure the agent responsible pays for the damage.

Dear heavens, you actually have fanbrats? Don't mention that around Brenda, she doesn't like Suethors. At all. She's liable to either read them a lecture or set the minis on them, honestly. As for Agent Dawn, she doesn't mind much of anything, as long as no one tries to drive her more insane~~rer~~.

*portal set* The agents should arrive shortly! Pleasure doing business with you.

Ooh, a feast! I'm sure the agents will be overjoyed. Agent Edgar may even be convinced to stay a little longer, especially if provided with copious amounts of coffee. (Assuming you want him to stay longer, that is. If not, pretend the coffee doesn't exist).

[Well, the general theory is that Middle-earth is either an alternate universe, or we're in the...Seventh Age, I think. Something like that. One or both of those theories are based on Tolkien's writings.]

[Oh dear, out of control orcs. Should be quite interesting, as you say. I'll do my best to make it happen as an interlude at some point, although it may take some time to actually be finished and posted--I'm still working on my Permission request, for one thing, and there should be at least one mission up before the interludes start. I expect the picnic one will have to come after the visit to the factory, though, so...this will probably be the first interlude. Actually, this is great, since I had no idea what would ever end up going in interludes.]

[A near-sighted Dark Lord it is. Actually, I'm near-sighted too, so it shouldn't be too hard to write :) Are you extremely near-sighted, or just slightly? Also, glasses or contacts? Er, and for either option, how does the Dark Lord Aakmal keep them from being melted by his eyes of fire?]

[This is going to be fun...]

~DF

Sabah is a state in the country of Malaysia. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 04:24:00 UTC Link to this

[It's OK, I barely know the states in many other nations either.]

I'll have my orcs look for a special yarn ball for Caradharas, with some asbestos, and the usual spider silk. It must be around here somewhere. Can't have fireballs flying around, fire hazard obviously.

Fanbrats already appeared amongst these teenage orcs when I arrived. Part of my campaign too, making them write better fiction and fanfiction, in Malay Language, if not English. The parents didn't usually care, but they eyes did burn when reading their... masterpiece.

In fact, that's how I got the legend that I have fire-red eyes. It's actually that my eyes got stung by the horrible fics, and I had to keep my eyes shut for a few weeks. It was so red, I saw the world with a tinge of red. Have to rest for weeks, not moving lest there is a need to open my eyes.

Some mistranslations between English, Malay and Orcish chats later, and the legend that I have fire-eyes are born. I wear fire-orange-coloured contacts when I need to impress someone, but my glasses are still required to see well. I'm moderately near-sighted, making me useless with ranged weapons if my glasses are lost. Also, I'm afraid to stick anything into my eyes, so I won't be using contacts often.

Agent Edgar can have as much coffee as we have. Our feast meals are quite spicy, except for the pizza, so we will provide a little milk for the tongue. But do bring your own, we may run short on those.

I think the portal's opening here. And right next to our stage too! I'll have the orcs standing now.

[Actually, I want to make Dark Lord Aakmal to be a human, an Easterling if you will, and he is the one managing and selling most of the stuff. Most orcs can pass for humans in bad need for makeup if they shave their whole body, but they'll shave your skin off if you dare force them. Highly embarrassing, they say. So the main point of me being there is to sell their products for them. My character didn't speak Orcish well yet, but he's still learning slowly. Also, sorry I didn't have actual fire-eyes.]

[Being that they are orcs, they had to wear ridiculous outfits to sell stuffs in the home region before I arrive. After that, I'm the one mostly selling the stuffs. And since they often bicker over the money, I had to split them well, thus securing my closeness to the orc chieftain. Thus a few months after being an amateur-treasurer-cum-paramedic-cum-language-teacher-cum-jack-of-many-trades, the orc chieftain entrusts me with the position of Dark Lord, with the support of three other orc underground villages. I make them live together, since each village only has 200 orcs at the most. Now I'm under control of 500 orcs, 200 of them battle-and-knitting-and-looming ready. The spiders of Shelob are more like pets, but some orc-kids do lost their lives when they play with them too roughly, thus the need for guide to caring for mini-Aragogs. I assume they will be quite similar.]

[I had to provide them with better food than they could manage, that is lichens, jungle plants, and a few stolen cows and rare hunted animals, as part of my oath as their Dark Lord. I managed some Maggi, rice, and later some vegetable and chicken for their harsh fur. All orcs except from one village can withstand sunlight, but gets sunburnt sometimes, as in cooked crisp, kind of way, so the orc farmers usually overdress when planting their vegetables. Rice is usually bought, too much trouble to be planted.]

[Lastly, take your time. Best wines are those that aged well.]

Ooh. Makes sense. by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 09:00:00 UTC Link to this

[...are you from Malaysia, by the way? Or just using the location?]

[As to states...yeah. I mainly know Canada and America, and that's mostly because I've lived in both.]

[Also, can I just mention how hilarious and wonderful it is that this conversation got long and detailed (and insane) so quickly? I love it.]

Ah, I see. Well, I wish you the best of luck with the education part of your campaign. Burning eyes aren't fun.

Oh, wow. Mistranslations for the win, huh? It's good press, at least. (I get the feeling that at least one agent is going to get confused and think that you actually do have fire-eyes, and then get very disappointed when they're only contacts. This is going to be Agent Dawn, isn't it...)

I'm sure Agent Edgar will be overjoyed. Er, he probably won't show it too much--he tends to be rather serious. But he'll be quite pleased. He may even smile! And I'll instruct the agents to bring milk. Hopefully they can get their hands on some...

*drumroll* And now, entering through the portal...Agents Dawn, Brenda, and Edgaaaarrrr! *drumroll increases to a crescendo, and then stops. The three agents come to a halt, and exchange puzzled glances at the sudden lack of noise. Then, four mini-Balrogs bounce through the portal and send the agents tumbling to the ground*

Dawn: "There's a reason I didn't go to OFUM...owie..."

Anyway.

[Your wish is my command (when it comes to creating your character, that is.) The Dark Lord's lack of fluent Orcish will probably end up in the interlude, complete with some misunderstandings...probably with an agent trying to correct him/the orcs, since they've got translators.]

[Thanks for all the details on the orc factory operation! I'm sure they'll come in handy. I mean, I'm not sure how much of it will make it in, but...actually, on second thought, you've probably just provided me with the topics for most of the conversation with Agent Dawn. Cool.]

[True that. Actually, though, I can tell you exactly where I'm planning on putting it: There's an introductory mission (completely fictional), #0, which may be posted out of order, so don't worry about it. It's just in here for accuracy. Then comes the first mission. After that are either two or three more--that is, it's supposed to be two, but a third may make it in there. Then comes the first interlude (the visit to the factory). After that come two missions (or possibly one, but I'm leaning towards two), followed by the second interlude (Dawn's picnic with the minis). After that we're back to missions. Confused yet? I think I am, or at least, I would be if I didn't actually have an organized list. Basically, it goes 0, 1, 2a, 2b, [2c], Interlude: Factory, 3, 4, Interlude: Picnic, 5, 6, 7. Hm. I think I may have confused myself even more, but that's accurate...ANYWAY! The plan is to have several missions, then the first interlude, then several more missions, then the second interlude, and then more missions. Let's leave it at that. Wow.]

~DawnFire

Thus the event begins. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 12:40:00 UTC Link to this

[Any questions, ask away. Any inconsistencies, point it out. I might do mistakes in the agent's character later, correct me too. Also, I completely understands how you'll arrange your fics and interludes. Rewriting on a piece of paper does wonders sometimes. So now we'll write in story mode, but I'll only mostly write my characters' side of the story. You may fill in your charcters as you please. Is this OK? Also, I am a Malaysian. From the state of Sabah]

A few seconds later, the agents are already on their feet, brushing off the dust from their clothing. The mini-Balrogs quickly form ranks in front of the agents. The four of them puts up the cutest look on their faces. Two other mini-Balrogs quickly scurry forward, taking their places amongst their fellow friends.

An old orc bows before the guests. "Greetings, guests. I am Doth Tarti, a manager and an orc chieftain of our establishment. And here," pointing at his fellow orcs lining up beside him," are my fellow colleagues, Gul Sharsi, Miri Sharpsi, and Ilti Sathri. Call us, Tarti, Sharsi, Sharpsi, and Sathri respectively."

Tarti then takes a few steps back, allowing a young human man with fire-red eyes, clad in a leafy-patterned gambeson and sarong, to pass through. "And here is our Dark Lord, Dark Lord Aakmal."

He offers a handshake to the agents. "Pleased to meet you, Agents Dawn, Brenda, and Edgar. Please, have a seat, there is a little speech to be had before the feast begins."

[->Add your agents' reactions here
Agent Dawn calmly looks around as he is ushered to his seat, and Agent Brenda is creepily smiling, inexplicably already on her seat, while Agent Edgar purposefully walks to his seat, his ways befitting a nobleman of high rank. The mini-Balrogs quickly scurry to the agents, with a few orc maids placing them to children-sized chairs prepared for them, with fire-resistant chair coverings draped over it. An orc maid offers a pouting mini-Balrog, possibly Caradharas, a small ball of yarn, and it promptly squeezes and chews it.

The Orc chieftains returned to their seats, but didn't sit. Dark Lord Aakmal walks to the podium, checks the microphone by tapping on it, then gives the signal, that is by lifting both of his hands then gently moves them down. The Orcs in the gathering sighs in relief as they take their seats, the Orc chieftains included.

"Welcome and good day to our honoured guests, Agents Dawn, Brenda and Edgar, mini-Balrogs Glorfinel, Ectheleon, Neinor, Caradharas, Gladladriel and Kelaborn, my ever-vigilant orc chieftains Doth Tarti, Gul Sharsi, Miri Sharpsi, and Ilti Sathri, and last but not least beloved orcis and orcas, as well as orcnagers and orckids. Welcome to our first ever company-slash-town yearly feast ever!"

Thunderous claps by all the orcs ring through the underground hall. Dark Lord Aakmal takes a few seconds of deep breaths before continuing.

"We have been working hard to improve our lot in life, knitting, looming, and even a few bits of farming here and there, with mushroom farming being our most successful food enterprise. But we hadn't had a holiday for a few years, and nerves do fry. Thus this is the efforts of your chieftains, to offer you a bit of a day to relax from the daily stress of 8-5 jobs. So chow down, karaoke if you want, and let your kids get to see the Balrogs you've been telling them was once real. And hug them too, if they want."

"It is my sworn oath as a Dark Lord, to provide you with better living conditions, but humans have but short lifespans, and I may not be able to fulfill all your needs before I die. Hopefully, a Dark Lord from the ranks of our young orcs, with vision and fire in his or her eyes, are able to lead our future generations to greater heights of wealth, prosperity, and peace. Perhaps even a shot at living overground, free from having to shave your furs or donning ridiulous outfits."

"Last but not least, let's enjoy this day, as it's the fruit of your hard work. P.S, I may make this event biannually, if this event ends without a hinch. Well, what are you waiting for?"

All the orcs chuckle, as they take the plates and food from the serving table at the side of halls. The Orc chieftain respectfully points the agents to the VIP tables prepared for them, with Dark Lord Aakmal the last one to leave the stage. Before they are seated though, Dark Lord Aakmal reminds them of their tasks.

"Agents, mind if you do your tasks first? The orders are in my office, Agent Edgar, I'll show you the way myself. Agent Dawn, I need yout o open a prtal to your glitter-filled room, so my orcs can work on it. Agent Brenda, you may eat first, but an orc maid will call you once the mini-Balrog hugging begins."

Meanwhile, another VIP table is filled with bacons and eggs, as the mini-Balrogs are seated there, chomping down on their food.

[I put up a bit of story to help you write. I'm writing the event as how I often see the feasts and events are conducted in Malaysia; things missing are singing the national anthem and short prayer before the speech.]

Hey, cool! by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 13:21:00 UTC Link to this

[Ok, first of all, two things. Well, probably three.]

[One: I love your description of Agent Edgar. It made me laugh. He'd probably be pretty pleased about it.]

[Two: Agent Dawn, like myself, is female. Minor point, though. Well, relatively minor :)]

[Three: I love all of this, and am quite fascinated by both the detail and that this was inspired by feasts and events in Malaysia! I know pretty much nothing about Malaysia, so it's very interesting to learn.]

[Fourth (oh, look, it's four...I'm turning into the Spanish Inquisition here, except that I didn't try to list them at the beginning!), do you mind if we sort of write the story back and forth and then, at the end, I'll sort of compile it and edit/rewrite bits until it's all completely coherent and awesome, and then send it to you for approval/advice/proofreading? Because this is really starting to look very, very cool. (By that--the stuff before the bit about it looking really cool--I mean that it should be cleaned up at the end, made to lack jarring shifts between our writing styles, and you make sure that Dark Lord Aakmal and the orcs are IC all the way through while I do the same for the mini-Balrogs and the agents. Bits of it could also be rewritten from different POVs, if it looks like it could work better. Basically, this would be the rough draft, and then be put together and cleaned up and added to and whatnot for the good copy.)]

[Fifth, whoops, I just checked the Permission article, and I'm not actually allowed to write interludes yet (since I haven't got Permission yet)--unless you have Permission, in which case it counts as a co-write. So, unless you do have Permission, this may have to wait a bit. Bother. I forgot about this. Good thing I checked...]

[...I still can't get over that description of Agent Edgar! It's hilarious, and suits him perfectly! Also, Caradharas and the spider-silk ball...]

[...I would love to actually be at a feast where mini-Balrogs are guests of honor and have their own VIP table. That would be awesome. I mean, assuming I was used to minis, and not scared out of my wits by the fiery little demons...I suppose I should go with, I'd love to see it as a movie.]

[And also, hi! Wow, there are PPCers from all over the world, aren't there? I hadn't quite realized. That's just awesome.]

[Also, I must say, I like these orcs. They're rather more civilized than I'm used to, but quite fun.]

[And may I say, yet again, that I love how quickly this snowballed? Why, it seems just yesterday that I was asking you what your orcs knitted--oh, wait, that was yesterday.]

[Oh, and, nearly forgot: I wanted to ask, does Aakmal mean anything? If so, what? I'm curious...]

[*goes back to frantically working on Permission Request, among other things*]

~DawnFire

[Quite a pity, I have no Permission too!] Part 2 by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 14:45:00 UTC Link to this

[How does a person calm a mini-Balrog? I think the orc-maids may have trouble dealing with them, and Agent Brenda may have to swoop in. While she's munching a drumstick. Heheh?]

[Ah yes, I referred Agent Dawn as 'he'. Heheh, silly me. Did I do Agent Brenda correctly? She may be too creepy, I'm afraid.]

[Orcs can be very civilised, especially when Morgoth and Sauron are not around. I mean, they do have good technology, which may not be very feasible in an extremely barbaric environment. Or it may be just me.]

Feeding them generally works. by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 15:36:00 UTC Link to this

[Failing that, speak firmly or call the mini's owner (or Miss Cam, if the mini is unadopted).]

[Yeah...Brenda does tend more towards either bounciness or rage. Honestly, Dawn's a little more likely to do the creepy thing, and that's just because she's insane (and is probably referencing something).]

[Ah, I see. Yes, Morgoth and Sauron would be *ahem* somewhat bad influences. *to computer* Nonono, don't explode, I know that's a giant understatement, but there's no call to go exploding on me...nice laptop. Niiiiice laptop. *backs away slowly and debates calling Makes-Things*]

~DF

[I do hope there is a Like button here] by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 15:41:00 UTC Link to this

[Therefore, like]

[ :D ] by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 15:51:00 UTC Link to this

[Unfortunately, I don't believe one exists on the Board...]

~DF

[Quite a pity, I have no Permission too!] by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 14:27:00 UTC Link to this

[Gald I catched Agent Edgar's persona. He's a male, I assume?]

[Dark Lord Aakmal is male. I'll remember that Agent Dawn is female. Thanks for the heads up. Also, his name is Arabic, as most muslims are named in that language. Aakmal means perfect, if the list of name meanings I consulted is correct.]

[How about if we default to your writing style, yes? I hope my writing style won't make too much of a hassle for you to rewrite. I'll keep the Orcs in character, they are quite civilised actually, just a bit prone to fisticuffs and swordfights if mad enough.]

[Dark Lord Aakmal may need some more work, but here's what we have of him: near-sighted, jack of many trades, not fluent in Orcish, silver-tongued, some skill in archery and swordfight, control-freak, didn't like to wear contacts, but had to due to his rep.]

[I didn't have permission, not even an Agent! So this story may have to wait. What a pity.]

[Aw :( On the plus side, I'm nearly done my request, so...] by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 14:44:00 UTC Link to this

[Agent Edgar is indeed male, while Agents Brenda and Dawn are female.]

[Ah, I see. Fascinating! I think I won't be mentioning that to the agents, though--they might see it as a Stu-trait and drag work into their visit.]

[Alright, that works :) It also makes it a little easier on me, I think. And don't worry, you've actually provided me with quite a good framework--especially the ceremony! It's often easier to rewrite than to come up with something in the first place, so thanks. I'll probably ask lots and lots of questions about how the orcs act and how the civilization is structured and so on and so forth.]

[Sounds good so far. I'm sure he'll develop as the story gets written.]

[A pity indeed. However, I am in the (hopefully) final stages of putting together a Permission Request, so, assuming a positive response, the writing may be able to go ahead within the month! *fingers crossed* On the plus side, we do have a LOT of the ideas written out, so it shouldn't be too hard to pick up again.]

~DF

Orc civilisation? by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 15:20:00 UTC Link to this

[They are more like tribal structures. What I make is they usually pick a human, dwarf, or even Bunian/elven if they are desperate, Dark Lord as their leader, since declaring on an Orcish Dark Lord, may cause scuffles, as they don't agree who is better to lead above the village chieftain level. The last time they tried an Orcish King, they had devastating wars amongst themselves a few centuries back, and funerals were still arranged for all the Orcs that died. Underground, of course.]

[Lack of Morgoth and Sauron mellowed these orcs, now they are more like Swiss peasants during the Renaissance, very tough, but prefer to keep to themselves. Also, willing to offer their sometimes-martial services for money. And Sabah has a way to make the entire population mellow out in time.]

[I did say I wasn't the First Dark Lord. There were others before me, my particular company/village's previous line of Dark Lords died heirless around 1990. So they begin to falter in self-sufficiency, especially since the last one hadn't taught the orcs how to use money well, nor planting crops. Even my character's ascension to Dark Lord isn't immediate. Had to butter up the whole village, then the orc chieftain calls his allies for support for me, once he deems me worthy. Agriculture is still a problem, but we subsist on poultry farming, mushroom cultivation, and trade, thus the knitting and looming industry.]

[As for the ceremony, it is usually used in formal situation. Since this is a company event, so it counts as semi-formal.]

[About journeys to Earendil, and playing with Morgoth, I may have to rethink about it, as it may be too Stuish for PPC's taste. Any ideas to unStu the fact may be appreciated.]

[My true name is Aakmal bin Mohd Yusop, making my character a self-insert, and Aakmal is also somewhat used, although not as regular as Muhammad (the Praiseworthy), Saifuddin (Sword of Faith), for guys, or Nur (Light), and Aisyah (Prosperous). I just hope this character will not turn into a Stu, and be as 3-D as we can make him.]

Lavender it is. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 21:43:00 UTC Link to this

[Malay is a race in the real world. Predominantly in Malaysia. Some tribes in Sabah bind their allegiance to this race too, mine included.]

A few shovels, wheelbarrows, dusters, large bottles, and gunny sacks will be with my orcs, with may need to be more than two. Didn't know how thick is the glitter, nor the size of the room. Better safe than sorry. Their leaders are GulBrack and Shoppsi. Gulbrack will find the room at the Board, and Shoppsi will go to RC 18. They'll bring two orcs with them, so it'll be six. Please guide them safely.

Thanks for your overseeing agents. The orc kids are going to have a joyful afternoon with the mini-Balrogs. Will a ball of spider-silk calm Caradharas? We often use it as a stress-relieving ball, by juggling it. I'm not very good at that, though. It may need to be calmed, as we mostly work underground. Don't worry, we keep our writing in our lockers. So long as the agents don't snoop around, they won't be spooked.

Gladladriel and Kelaborn will be near their RC when giving the hugs. I hope Agent Dawn won't mind. Don't worry about the fanbrats, they'll have no cartoons for the week if they misbehave, Dark Lord's command.

Point your portal to Five meters under this address: No 2.34, Jalan 35 Beruk, Taman Orkid di Bawah Kelapa, 88123, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. 5° 58′ 17.2″ N, 116° 5′ 43.68″ E [Address and coordinates are fictional] We are an underground factory, covering as a normal, one-storey house. Thus we pay license without tax, since we are covered under Small and Medium Industries Act, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!

Oh, and since this is a feast, your agents are also welcome to chow down. Our specialty are rendang, buras, ayam lengkuas, Tenom coffee and pizza. All preparations are in order, let us portal!

[I always assume that Middle-Earth is transformed through the ages into a version of the world today. It is how I understand Tolkien made his world. Hope that isn't too uncanonical.]

[I may lose control over the orcs sometimes. Your story will prove very interesting. Please, make it happen. And, picture my character as near-sighted, since that's what I am in the real world. Stu beginnings? ]

[I know these are Lord of the Rings orks, but...] by World-Jumper on 2013-02-27 20:32:00 UTC Link to this

[...All I can imagine is the orks from Orks Must Die running around with little flower aprons, and wearing a belt that has a pair of knitting needles, a feather duster and spray bottles full of lemon cleaner. Then, standing above them is a man in Overlord-esk armor, an axe on his back and literal fire burning in his eyes, singing 'Whistle While you Work' to his ork minions. It is a humorous thought.]

My good heavens, is there anything this spider silk cannot make? If you do not mind, I would have great use for a kilt. Does this material come in a variety of colors perchance? If so, I could use a kilt in the pattern similar to the Clan MacGuffin.

These orks are so helpful, more then the usual minions at least. How does one sign up for their own ork squadron?

Ahahahaha...awesome mental image. Thanks for sharing :D by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 21:02:00 UTC Link to this

...I kind of want to write an interlude (once I have Permission, of course) detailing Agents Dawn, Brenda, and Edgar going to pick up the large order discussed above. They portal into the scene you've just described. Then, the fire-eyed man in armor spots them, and walks over, introducing himself as 'the Dark Lord' (and getting twitches from any agents who have recently faced a particularly bad HP or LotR mission). Two orcs are then dispatched to remove (and bottle) the glitter from...Agent Dawn's RC, I suppose, having it be DawnFire's room at the Board is possibly a bit too meta. Agent Edgar, eager to get this task over with, starts ferrying packages through the portal. Agent Dawn starts talking very quickly about orcs and factories and every single possible reference that comes to her mind, while Agent Brenda pointedly ignores her and supervises the mini-Balrogs as they play with the orc-children. At some point, Edgar finishes with the packages and portals away to find some Bleeprin. Then, Caradharas the mini-Balrog gets a little too exuberant, and an orc-child starts crying. The orcs turn...not-so-friendly, and advance on the minis and Brenda, brandishing different bits of the contents of their belts in a threatening manner. Brenda decides to cut her losses, grabs the minis, and portals away. Some time later, Agent Dawn realizes that she's the only PPC agent left and reluctantly leaves, making plans for her picnic with the mini-Balrogs on their brand-new fireproof tablecloth as she goes...

Well, that's the general idea, anyway.

...yup, it'll probably happen at some point. It'll be the strangest interlude ever. I shall call it...'A Visit to the Dark Lord's Factory'. Or something along those lines.

(I'm getting such weird ideas today. Well, more crazy than weird, I suppose. And they're fortunately less strange than the time my brain wanted there to be a romance between Agent Dawn and DawnFire the Boarder. That was a really weird one.)

I'd say that I'm now off to decrease my sugar intake, but I've barely had any today...go figure.

~DF

Awesome idea! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 21:49:00 UTC Link to this

But I may not be able to contribute much beyond this point, it's up to you to craft my character, Dark Lord Aakmal. Just let me a sneak peek, yes?

:D by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 23:18:00 UTC Link to this

No worries, you'll get proof-reading rights. And possibly some questions during the writing process. Expect it to end up rather insane, by the way.

~DF

Orc recruitment. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 20:52:00 UTC Link to this

Not an easy task. You have to entice their leader, through gifts and massages and promises. It can feel like running an election campaign, but the effort is worth it. I accidentally made my bid, when I helped the orc chieftain's son when he ate too many chillies, giving him a stomachache.

Soon, they send the rest of their sick to me, and I helped them a bit with their bruises, headaches, and parasites (ewwww!) I made them boil their water before drinking it, made them take bathes with cheap soaps, show them a few videos on knitting, and a few years later, the chieftain begins to call me Dark Lord. They already knew knitting from their previous lord, by the way, just that they are able to make more variations, thanks to the videos I showed them.

On the colours, we choose randomly, but you can set your colours. We are running low on red, green and yellow dyes, so shipments of these are being called. Expect new ones by the next week.

Green and orange tartan? We had a few lying around, didn't know there's a demand for that. Put up your portal to my lair, and my orc will hand it over to you directly.

Deal. by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-27 16:08:00 UTC Link to this

I'll take Bleep products, mini-Balrog hugs, sueflesh, and Glitter as payment.

Need anything special to be knit into your sarong? Also, Spider silk is tough enough on it's own, but we may be on short supply on that, so we will be willing to accept a few mini-Aragogs or their silk. I just need to look into it, maybe it'll also be useful. A guide on caring for mini-Aragogs is also appreciated.

Also, we have 20% Spider-Silk, for casual daywear, 60% for low-grade armour, and 100% for medium-grade armour. Pick your choice.

Well, considering he's also behind the Mary-Sues... by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 18:53:00 UTC Link to this

And besides, sometimes he's allowed out to play a game with Varda.

(All references from this wonderful fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1518794/1/The-Game-of-the-Gods. I doubt any of this coincides with PPC continuity, but it's an awesome fic).

~DawnFire

Well, that was even less pleasant than usual. by The Nameless Admin on 2013-02-26 09:15:00 UTC Link to this

An extremely rude spambot has been dealt with. Apparently it is from an ISP in California known to be 'suspicious'.

Also, apparently it is now dead. Serves it right.

TNA

Woohoo! by Duothimir on 2013-02-27 00:10:00 UTC Link to this

And now we return to our regularly scheduled silliness.

You mean we plan it out...? (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-27 04:44:00 UTC Link to this

You mean you didn't sit in on the board meetings?! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-27 08:29:00 UTC Link to this

...Because neither did I, on account of not knowing whether they existed or not.

I sat in on A meeting? by Karen on 2013-02-28 04:29:00 UTC Link to this

But I don't really know what was going on, there was something shiny and I didn't pay attention.

Gad dernit, Ka- by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 06:48:00 UTC Link to this

-Ooh! Shiny!

I know right?! (nm) by Karen on 2013-03-01 00:34:00 UTC Link to this

Good work, soldiers, you can all take five now. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 21:25:00 UTC Link to this

And someone baked some lovely cookies for us! Yay for Karen the Team Parent!

Again, good work smashing everything in sight (or hiding, because that was equally important and I'm glad Apricot and Myrddin took on that job.) Come have cookies before I eat them all.

I think I should make more cookies (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-26 21:58:00 UTC Link to this

That is an excellent idea and I fully endorse it. :D (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-27 18:25:00 UTC Link to this

At least it's gone by Karen on 2013-02-26 18:25:00 UTC Link to this

Heh, I'm barely getting back into the PPC and we get a spambot. Lovely tidings.

Just another day in the office. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:48:00 UTC Link to this

In my case, literally - I'm in an office right now.

Haha niiiiiice (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-26 21:57:00 UTC Link to this

Wow. Leave for a few days' holiday, and you miss everything! (nm by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 16:32:00 UTC Link to this

Trust me, you're glad you did. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 16:41:00 UTC Link to this

It was the most obnoxious and repetitive spam bot we've had in a while, now.

And it really seemed to dislike things, if the name it went under was anything to go by. (PH**K YOUR YELLOW bring my personal favorite. What'd the color yellow ever do to it?)

I dare say you're right; still, excitement was missed. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 16:49:00 UTC Link to this

Haha, yellow? Seriously?

And I probably was better off having fun with my cousins than being horrified by a spambot, but still...I missed it :(

...wait a minute, that's a good thing, right? Hm.

Let's give three cheers for TNA! Hip hip hurrah! Hip hip hurrah! Hip hip HURRAH!

(Yup. Gilbert & Sullivan references. I make them. Comes of liking and having grown up with the operas, and of recently finding a badfic where the Sue's surname was Fairfax. In Middle-earth, no less. I couldn't get the Yeomen of the Guard references out of my head. And her first name is Aria...which has finally struck me as hilarious. I have no idea how I missed that before. I mean, it's probably accidental, but...well, that hardly means I can't find it funny!)

~DF

Not only yellow... by firemagic on 2013-02-26 19:52:00 UTC Link to this

But also cereal, socialism, upside-down, ears, and toilets. I am not kidding here.

...weird. Very weird. Also, random. Wow. (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 20:12:00 UTC Link to this

And it's appatently fluent in Asian dialects. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 20:00:00 UTC Link to this

It must be a plot.

OoooOOOOOoooo...

Appatently? (nm) by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-26 21:26:00 UTC Link to this

All of one post, which was titled with kanji. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 22:28:00 UTC Link to this

That's about it, really.

That makes it clearly appatent. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-27 08:19:00 UTC Link to this

Of course, they could have been nonsensical kanji, which wouldn't be immediately appatent, but appatently we have a few people here who read those, so I guess it would be appatent.

h(t)S

...Okay, so I finally noticed what I typed. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-27 08:27:00 UTC Link to this

If you'll excuse my language:

AELDRADAMNEDPHONEISWEARTOGODIAMGOINGTODESTROYTHISPIECEOF-

So, moving on...

-pats sympathetically- by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-27 18:27:00 UTC Link to this

There, there, let it all out...

Yup. Yellow offends spambots. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 16:59:00 UTC Link to this

Don't ask ME why...

See, when I hear the name Fairfax, I think of that jerk Lucien from Fable 2, who shot my sister, and then my dog, AND THEN ME.

Who I ended up killing with a music box.

I grant you, it was an ancient music box crafted by terrible magics first employed by the Old Kingdom Rulers themselves, but still. I killed him with a music box.

The Board needs a "like" function by Karen on 2013-02-26 18:26:00 UTC Link to this

Because that needs a like.

Nah, we just need to paint the board yellow. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:49:00 UTC Link to this

Maybe I can offer that as a site update to The Nameless Admin?

Yellow? How about cookie-patterned? (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-28 04:56:00 UTC Link to this

Yellow cookie-patterned (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 06:46:00 UTC Link to this

Weird. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 17:15:00 UTC Link to this

I'm guessing you're referencing a mission here?

Hm, speaking of Lucien...I don't suppose the name Lucien Blade is familiar? He's the dragon-rider (yes, in M-e) father of Aria Fairfax, but I feel like I know the name from somewhere else.

Music box. Hm. That's not one that plays a hypnotic tune, is it? No, wait, that's the Alice Genderbender one that Jay and Acacia look at in the Original Series. In which case, does this particular music box work similarly?

...you know what, maybe you should just give me a link to the mission. It sounds good.

~DF

Re: Weird. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:24:00 UTC Link to this

I have no idea which mission you mean, if there is one.

Also, dragon rider? Seriously? With that massive Eragon post going on down there? Do I have to brick a suethor?

Yes, music box. It's actually supposed to grant a wish, but it turns out that that was a hoax (?) on Theresa the Seer's part. In reality, it ended up being aweapon, and the Spire (read: evil magic tower) itself granted the wishes.

Fable is actually a very complex story once you get past all the bullhonkey. I can't even properly explain it, and I played the games.

Re: Weird. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 17:33:00 UTC Link to this

Wait, it's a game? Hm. I thought you were talking about a mission.

Yup, dragon-rider. In Middle-earth. Where, you know, the dragons aren't exactly friendly. I do hope the Suethor didn't take the idea from Eragon...that would just be annoying. Then again, the story reads like she's 13 or so, so...hopefully it's not a crossover.

Hm. So...music box weapon? How does that work? (Do I want to know?)

I know absolutely nothing about Fable (beyond what you've just told me), and therefore thought that it was the title of a badfic/mission. Heh.

~DF

Well... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:41:00 UTC Link to this

Fable is a series of fantasy games with a very Monty Python-esque sense of humor that are equal parts actiony, suspenseful, dark and scary, and glitchy as all get-out (although to Fable 3's credit, I have yet to discover any game-breaking bugs like what I have in Fable 2.)

The series is about the Heroes of old (Heroes is capitalized because they were important figures of history and had their own guild), and how they are slowly being reborn in a somewhat hectic time for medieval/industrial Albion. Namely, the Crawler coming back to wrap the world in darkness.

As for the music box, my only explanation for how it works is that the Old Kingdom (which I assume to be the gods of the Fable-verse, as they're constantly made out that way) infused it with really powerful magic. It does, however, play a very hypnotic and somewhat creepy tune.

And that's about as far as I know about it.

Fascinating. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 17:59:00 UTC Link to this

...actually, that's pretty much all I have to say. It does sound interesting, though.

~DF

I swear, every time I hear the word "fascinating"... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:07:00 UTC Link to this

I imagine it being whispered in an awe-struck Sherlock Holmes voice.

Even when a girl says it.

I can't. My ability to can took a plunge off the deep end.

Huh. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 18:25:00 UTC Link to this

Now, me, I generally think TOS Spock. And that's generally how I mean it, too. Sherlock Holmes works too, though--but I can't say I hear the word as anything but Spock saying it in a rather dry tone of voice.

Oh dear. I suppose you could try coaxing it back with...hm...what does an ability to can like to eat?

~DF

Well, how ELSE can Spock say things? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:52:00 UTC Link to this

His tone is always dry! That's like, a trademark of his entire race!

I think cans like eating tuna...

True. by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 19:26:00 UTC Link to this

Well, yeah, but there are different types of dry tones. Sometimes they're ever-so-slightly fond. Sometimes they're vaguely sarcastic. Sometimes they're emotionlessly mocking. (You get the idea).

Hm, tuna it is. *tosses several cans your way* Best of luck!

~DF

Dat wuz a roight gud krump, dat wuz. Noice 'un! (nm) by RIESE DA WEIRDBOY on 2013-02-26 15:56:00 UTC Link to this

Back to building dakkas, you; war's over. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 16:19:00 UTC Link to this

Unless you spot an Imperium ship drifting in space author gas, in which case, paint it red and fly it back to your base for upgrades.

(Yeah, I've READ about those two gags. How the heck do you fly a ship without GAS? And why does painting it red actually make it go faster? Frickin' orc logic...)

IT'Z AKSHULLY KWOIGHT SIMPLE. by RIESE DA WEIRDBOY on 2013-02-26 17:14:00 UTC Link to this

YA SEE, ORKZ WUZ GENETI...GENEC...MADE BY A BUNCHA REELLY KUNNIN' GITZ TA FOIGHT DA METAL GITZ (Necrons) A LONG, LONG TOIME AGO. WEN DEY WUZ MADE, DEY WUZ MADE TA GIVE OFF PSYCHI...PSY...BRAIN ENERGEE. ALL OV DA BOYZ IS AKSHULLY WEIRDBOYZ (Psykers who tap into the gestalt psychic power that all Orks generate), BUT DEY DUN' KNOW IT. DIS POWER IS SO ZOGGIN' POWERFUL, IT CHANGES REE-ALITY AROUND ORKZ. BASIKLLY, ORKY TEKNOLOGY WORKS CUZ DA ORKZ FINK IT DUZ. DAT'S WHY RED REALLY DUZ MAKE FINGS GO FASTA, AND DAT'S WHY WELDING AN ECKSTRA BARREL ON A SHOOTA MAKES IT SHOOT TWICE AS MUCH DAKKA, EVEN THOUGH THE ECKSTRA BARREL AIN'T KONNEKTED TO NUFFIN'.

-]I[- Translated to Low Gothic by Inquisitor Amberly Vail, Ordo Xenos, and put in broader context by Inquisitor Kilroy Vincentus, Ordo Malleus. -]I[-

***

Orks are a race genetically engineered by the 'Old Ones', the same race that created the Eldar, in order to fight the C'Tan and their Necron hordes. The Old Ones were all but wiped out in the ensuing conflict, leaving their child races to their own devices.

The Eldar developed amazing power and technology, to the point where they could satisfy any need or desire with but a single thought. However, they eventually fell into decadence, and debauched themselves so much that they created a new Chaos God - Slaanesh, the Prince of Excess - and tore a hole in the Materium through which energy from the Warp constantly flows. This anomaly is known colloquially as the Eye of Terror.

The Orks, their psychic link to their progenitors severed, fell back on the activities programmed into their genes: fight and expand. Orks are powerful Psykers, although few of them ever realize it. Every Ork generates psychic energy independent of the Immaterium (Warp), usually called 'WAAAGH! Energy' by members of the Ordo Xenos familiar with the aliens. The Orks channel this energy into many things, usually without realizing it. The more Orks are present, the more powerful the distortion of reality they cause, which can get alarmingly intense. Give an Ork a piece of scrap metal and convince him it's a gun, and, if enough Orks are around, it WILL fire bullets.

For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look. One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!" Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!" The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He is the biggest Ork among them, and he did just prove it. Maybe he did fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.

As you can see, it is the BELIEF that Ork technology functions that actually allows it to function. This is also why Ork technology, when captured by the Imperium, invariably ceases to function (or outright explodes) when a non-Ork attempts to use it. This perplexes members of the Adeptus Mechanicus not privy to the above information, as they believe that the Orks have simply browbeaten the Machine-Spirits of their devices into functioning. That being the case, they reason, the devices should work far better when the Machine-Spirits are given the proper respect and veneration. We have yet to observe an instance of this actually occurring.

***

-]I[- The above information is to be regarded as Classificatus Totalis. Any access by unauthorized personnel will result in their being regarded as heretics and declared xcommunicate Traitoris. Ave Imperator.

Thought for the day: An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded. -]I[-

Wait, so... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 17:50:00 UTC Link to this

You just released sensitive documents...

To done random guy who had to babysit a group of eyesight-enhancement-wearing goons with powers that could, potentially, threaten the safety of at least the nearest city block?

Uh, I question the safety of this decision on the Imperium's part.

(which I probably shouldn't, considering the Emperor is the sovereign ruler of one million worlds and such.)

Not so much. As ever, the PPC is the exception to the rule. by Inquisitor [REDACTED] on 2013-02-26 18:31:00 UTC Link to this

By decree of the Adeptus Terra, and in light of my current...detatched duty, I have been granted the authority to release certain parts of the Inquisitorial archives and records to those who may need them in order to better carry out their duties.

Also, we're the Inquisition. Don't question us - we know where you live.

-]I[- Thought for the day: My armor is contempt, my shield is disgust, my sword is hatred.. -]I[-

So, when should I expect the Inquisition? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 18:39:00 UTC Link to this

Trick question, nobody expects the inquisition.

That depends entirely on how you use that information. by Inquisitor [REDACTED] on 2013-02-26 19:12:00 UTC Link to this

If you use it for the benefit of the Imperium and/or Plot Continuum, probably never (unless they show up to recruit you).

If you use it against the Imperium/Plot Continuum, also probably never. We'll just have a Vindicare assassin snipe you from halfway across the continent, then burn your city down so the heresy can't spread.

-]I[- Thought for the day: There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt. -]I[-

Eep. (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 19:21:00 UTC Link to this

No worries, Specs. by Sergio Turbo on 2013-02-28 20:09:00 UTC Link to this

'Cause Madoka Kaname, the Concept of Hope and Goddess of Magical Girls, is watching over the PPC.

If a single-minded, intollerant heresy as the Imperium touches the PPC, it will crumble into dust upon Her gaze.

And then will be reborn as a strong, open-minded culture, as the Goddess believes in forgiveness and hope for everyone, everywhere and everywhen in the whole multiverse.

"If someone tells me that it's wrong to hope, I'll tell them they're wrong every time." - Word of the Goddess>

Would I be able to change your mind... by SeaTurtle on 2013-03-01 05:24:00 UTC Link to this

...if I told you that the Emperor of Mankind looks like this:

and totally not like a dying, desiccated husk on a failing life support machine too complex to repair and whose mind is trapped in a dimension called the Warp and fighting the forces of Chaos who threaten to consume humanity while simultaneously operating a psychic beacon crucial to FTL travel?

"The Emperor protects!" - many a Guardsman's famous last words.

One or the both of you forgot to close your italics tags. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 16:13:00 UTC Link to this

Everything is all italicized in this topic now.

Just checked. Me too. by Sergio Turbo on 2013-03-01 17:03:00 UTC Link to this

Must've messed up the last tag. I am 100% sure I ut it in correctly, though.

Blast. That would be mine, sorry. (nm) by SeaTurtle on 2013-03-01 16:37:00 UTC Link to this

Ah-HA! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 17:25:00 UTC Link to this

...And that's all.

A wise response. by Inquisitor [REDACTED] on 2013-02-26 19:30:00 UTC Link to this

If you have other questions about Orks, or anything else, direct them to me and I shall answer, insofar as I am permitted to.

-]I[- Thought for the day: Knowledge is power, guard it well. -]I[-

Haha by DawnFire on 2013-02-26 18:51:00 UTC Link to this

In the words of TOS: Worship the Python. It is very Monty.

~DF

Oh good. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-26 15:37:00 UTC Link to this

Now I can continue writing snarky comedies and reading topics without wondering who let the trolls out.

(And because I just have to make this music reference: WHO, WHO, WHO WHO WHO LET THE TROLLS OUT?

Let the brickings commence.)

*hefts brick* (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-26 18:33:00 UTC Link to this

The Legend is True! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-26 12:19:00 UTC Link to this

You do exist! Mind if you be my new Dark, or at least Tanned Lord? Thanks for cleanup too.

Thank you! (nm) by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-26 11:37:00 UTC Link to this

Filming a PPC Community Documentary - please help! by Huinesoron on 2013-02-27 19:19:00 UTC Link to this

Summary

Since the tenth anniversary of this Board's launch is coming up, we are putting together a documentary about the history and nature of the PPC as a community. If you want to see this finished, please keep reading - there are lots of ways you can help out!

The basic idea is to collect information from you, the people of the PPC, and collate it all into a chronological narrative. This will not feature any personal details about anyone - usernames only, and location mentioned only if you agree it's relevant - but will be a collection of people's thoughts, feelings and memories about this community.

Ways You Can Help 1: The Timeline

At the end of this post is a timeline of the PPC community - but it's incomplete! If you can think of anything else that ought to be on it, please, reply and tell me (or, indeed, anything that I've got wrong, or that needs more information)! Obviously not everything goes on there, but as general guidance:

-If it affected the community as a whole in a new way,
-If a lot of people remember it (fondly or otherwise),
-If it's related to the community, not the fictional(?) world, or
-If it's really cool,

... then it should be on the list. For example, I've included The Reorganisation, despite it being fiction, because it changed the way we see the history of the PPC, and is still reasonably popular. I haven't included me starting to write missions for DOGA, even though it was a new Department, because that's not a unique event. If we knew who the first spinoff was, that would go on the list, because again, it's a significant change.

And especially if you know anything

Ways You Can Help 2: Your Thoughts

My basic plan is to structure this as a series of interviews - but for that to work, I need interviewees! Therefore, you can provide:

-An interview or pseudo-interview with you about something on the timeline (you can even write your own questions, and I'll have Agent Dafydd 'ask' you them - or, if you prefer, someone can come up with questions for you)
-A short piece of you talking about something on the timeline, in a format other than an interview. So if you have two minutes' worth of memories of the IRC, you can just talk about them!

*Note: You do not have to have been present for the event at the date it is listed on the timeline. If you've ever played Fill The Plothole (or seen it played), or ever used or contributed to the Wiki, you are perfectly eligable to talk about those subjects. If you want to discuss how the creation of the PPC City affected the way we see ourselves, or how the Gatherings separate us from other forums, this is also cool.

Obviously, we're aware that not everyone has access to a camera or microphone, and that not everyone wants to put their face or voice on the internet. Therefore, we'll take three levels of contribution - with the most preferred listed first, but all will be accepted.

1. A video of you saying your piece (preferably against either a PPC-appropriate or a neutral backdrop).
2. An audio file of you saying your piece, with an optional note on what you'd like on-screen for it.
3. A written document of your piece, for someone else to read out.

Ways You Can Help 3: Behind The Scenes

As you might have guessed, this will need a fair amount of backstage work. I'll be doing all the editing and compiling and such, but there are literally heaps of ways you can contribute:

-Acting as an interviewer of people who provide interviews - that is, writing the questions for them to answer.
-Acting as a voice for other people's written contributions. Again, you can provide either video or audio, but we'll probably just use the audio track from any videos.
-Reading some piece of source material that you think needs reading out (as above, video or audio). As I recall, Cassie already volunteered to read a section of Rambling Band, but if you come up with something else relevant - a chatlog, or Board post? - feel free to volunteer it.
-Providing images for either visual aids, or people who want a drawing of themselves/their agents in place of their actual faces.
-... anything else! This is pretty much wide open. There will be music played, clips from videos used (maybe) - so if you think of something that would perfectly fit a certain timeline event, suggest it! Believe me, I'm all ears (except literally).

Important Note

You are allowed to contribute in as many ways as you feel like it. If you want to double the length of the timeline, talk about half the items on it, interview everyone else and paint pictures to show everything - go ahead! That's awesome!

Oh, and whatever you want to do (and whatever questions you have), please mention them in this thread. It helps us keep track of everything. We'll sort out communications and file transfer once the planning is done.

The Timeline

2001

FotR released

2002

Creation of the PPC - Rambling Band
?May: PPC exiled from Fanfiction.net & rehoused on Miss Cam's site - Mary Sue, Sue Mary and the Broken Plot Continuum`
August: Launch of OFUM

2003

March: Relaunch of the Oddlots homepage (& the Board?)
? Fill The Plothole
The original chat/PPC Lounge

2004 - The year many PPC traditions began

February: PPC - The Board Game (first PPC game)
Knights Who Go ^^
Oxford Gathering - The first PPC Gathering
July: First <a href="http://fanficland.webs.com/FfW/index.htm">badfic contest (with fanficland launching in 2006)
? The Board Shipfest
The Battle of Goldberg
'The Lord of the Things' RPG (in the old chatroom)

2005

The Reorganisation
The original Snowfight
TungstenMonk dissects a troll

2006

<a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/TheMultiverseMonitor">Multiverse Monitor launched
August: <a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/ThingsIamnotAllowedtoDoatthePPC">Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At The PPC (date on the LJ post)
December: PPC Holiday Filk Game

2007

February: PPC Card Game
December: The Wiki

2008 - the year of emergencies

January: PPC's New Caledonia 'myMiniCity' opened
March: The Anniversary Party, Macrovirus Epidemic and Mary-Sue Invasion - the death of Makes-Things and the ban on emergencies
May: Generic Surface launched
The Ypur Invasion & the Other Board
October: PPC wedding - hS & Kaitlyn

2009

Geocities shuts down; PPC: The Lost Tales launched.

2010

(sometime earlier than) August: The PPC appears on TV Tropes

2011

2012

2013

UNDATED - anyone know a date we can hang on these?

The IRC

red wolf the weird

Very late here... by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-06 17:08:00 UTC Link to this

I don't know if this would be helpful or not, but I know a lot about OFUs, being in the middle of writing one and having read many besides. It's the only part of the PPC-verse I'm sure I know about, so yeah...I'm volunteering. However, I have no recording equipment, so I could make a statement about OFUs that someone else (another OFU author, maybe) could read. That is, if that's considered part of PPC history and is relevant to the documentary

Not late! by Huinesoron on 2013-03-07 08:28:00 UTC Link to this

And that would be brilliant. At the moment I might have two other people talking about OFUM itself, but a piece on OFUs, writing them and reading them and the impact they have, would be fantastic.

hS

Sorry to be so late again. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-11 18:08:00 UTC Link to this

Impact? Not sure what you mean by that. I could definitely talk about the challenges of writing one and how it compares to a PPC mission, the morals (as in, they're a way to show how badfic writers can improve, rather than a way to vicariously torture Suethors), and the parodic tone and how you have to play it right (for example, you could argue that Sauron is OOC in OFUM, but Miss Cam makes it work).
I'll get writing.

Sounds like fun! by Gen on 2013-03-05 04:16:00 UTC Link to this

I can barely use my computer as it is, so I won't be much help with any fancy tech stuff, but I can write and answer interview questions.

Did you have a date in mind for when we should start compiling things? I've also not been on the IRC for a while, so I don't know if anything else has been discussed there. Unfortunately, I can't really contribute anything else to the timeline.

Nah, I don't go near the IRC. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-05 10:24:00 UTC Link to this

My current 'plan' (a bit of a strong word, that) is to post again with a filled-out timeline, check if everyone's okay with what they're slotted in for, and sort out deadlines and emails then. At the moment there's some gaping gaps in the timeline, so I'm still hoping for someone to turn up wanting to talk about them. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do is still open, as is the Holiday Filks, the Lost Tales... possibly even the Wiki.

hS

Just a few questions. by World-Jumper on 2013-03-04 20:37:00 UTC Link to this

What file format would you like the audio or video to be in? Also, approximately, how 'loud' do you want the audio to be? I know you can quiet down most audio, but it is hard to enhance sound well, and toning down too much can affect quality. Just a range around what you want would be nice.

As for the questions, do you want a specific list of the questions I am being 'asked,' or would it be OK for me to just sort of ramble on with questions or topics as discussion starters? I am fine with drafting up some questions if you want, I just tend to ramble well, and you can usually get good sound bytes from my wild discussions with myself and the camera. I guess what I am asking is, how organized do you want me to be?

Also, I would be happy to voice act some role-plays, important posts, or just funny moments on the board. Heck, I'll even sing a few filks if you want! (you may not like what you hear though... I'll try and sing well, I swear!)
One post I was thinking of doing was this one: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?id=199610;article=235598
Why? No reason other than it's funny, and it deals with our lovely friends the spambots. To have it as a form of intro to the spambots, or more specifically the song inside the post being the intro, would be funny. Well, at least, that's my opinion. In the end, that's your decision.

If I come up with any other questions, I will make sure to ask them.

Normal listening volume? by Huinesoron on 2013-03-05 10:21:00 UTC Link to this

Formatwise I can probably deal with most things (although if you can help it, don't send me .avi or .wav - I'm not made of hard drive space!).

Whether you want questions or not is entirely up to you; do I take it from this and your previous comment that you'd like to talk about a) the whole 'greet newbies with heaps of stuff' culture and b) spambots? Because I think we can slot both of those in.

I agree that the spam song is worth getting in - I'll find a track of it, I think - but if you want to read the post you linked - say, down to the first mention of the Vikings, skipping the line from the song, as a sort of introduction - that would be cool.

I've also tentatively pegged you for reading the SO's all-consoles message at the start of the Fifth Anniversary Roleplay (I think it's the first think in the linked writeup), as an introduction to that in particular and the topic of RPs in general. Up for it?

hS

I don't know. by Sunflower Official on 2013-03-06 04:15:00 UTC Link to this

Do you think this inexperenced newbie, who at this point does not even have permission yet, could play me?

((World-Jumper: HECK YEAH I'M-! I mean... Yes. Yes I am up for it. Thank you so much for the honor of playing our grand official. I'll even break out my Blue Snowball for the role!

As for the questions, well, you'll see when you get them. I think I'm going to sorta ramble, then I'll sort out the connected bits for you, so it's easyer to edit. But I was around for two spambot attacks, so I thought that would be appropriate for me to talk abot. But on the whole, I'll talk about what I know about. We'll see what hapens.))

Sir? Your italics appear to be missing... (nm) by The Sub Rosa on 2013-03-06 12:37:00 UTC Link to this

...If you would all please look into the light... by The Sunflower Official on 2013-03-06 20:21:00 UTC Link to this

*FLASH*
You did not just see me talking without the italics. You did not see the Sub Rosa correcting me. You are all to report back to your RC's and continue with your day.

((The open italics is on purpose. Now everything anybody says when on this post is in italics, so it seems like he always had italics when speaking! Ain't I clever.))

((Dude, wha...how did you do that?)) (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 08:59:00 UTC Link to this

whatever you want in italics by World-Jumper on 2013-03-07 21:34:00 UTC Link to this

Delete the spaces inside the 's, and if you want to do the little trick I did as the Sunflower Official (though I would not recommend that you do it, it tends to make people a little annoyed) just leave out the or just the /. Simple.

Ooh, so that's how you do open italics. by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 21:45:00 UTC Link to this

Watch me do that sometime by accident and then not preview the post...

The Board by BeautyID on 2013-03-04 02:27:00 UTC Link to this

I can't help much, as I don't really remember big turning points in the history of the PPC or anything like that. But I do remember when I joined the board, and that was the late summer of 2002. It was, I'm 99% certain, this exact board. I can't remember exactly how I found it, but if OFUM launched in August of '02 is was possibly through that, or through reviews I read on other people's fics on ff.net. I lurked for maybe a couple months before I started posting, but that was definitely no later than autumn of '02. I don't remember anything about this relaunch of '03. I think old age is catching up with me.

The relaunch... by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 09:13:00 UTC Link to this

... comes from the message at the top of the (now deceased) Oddlots Homepage, which reads:

You are approximately visitor XXXXXX since this site was relaunched on March 12, 2003.

At some point, we began to assume that meant the Board was 'relaunched' on that date, too, so for instance the Fifth Anniversary Roleplay was on March 12 2008. We may be wrong. :P

As I've said to Rina, there's a trio of questions you can definitely answer (How did you find the PPC? Why did you decide to stay? How did things change between you joining and you leaving?), and I'm sure there's something else for you to talk about. Did you go in the chatroom much? Do you remember Fill The Plothole, or (ehehe) the Shipfests? I happen to know you were HEAVILY involved in the early Shipfests... in fact, you may even have been behind the first one.

hS

Re: The relaunch... by BeautyID on 2013-03-05 02:25:00 UTC Link to this

You may be wrong, or you may very well be right. It's entirely possible there was some massive relaunch of the board while I was here, and I've just completely forgotten about it. Like I said, I'm 99% sure this is exactly the same board as the one I joined back in '02, but that doesn't mean it wasn't relaunched at some point in the same style. I'll have to think harder, and see if I can't remember.

I was in the chatroom all the time at one point. I remember some delightful roleplays, particularly one involving Morgoth? There was one hilarious one with the sons of Elrond, Aragorn and Legolas that I printed out. If only I knew what I did with it! I would guess it took place in 2004.

I remember Fill The Plothole vaguely, but I don't remember actually participating in it - though of course that doesn't mean I didn't. I didn't remember the Shipfests at all until I thought for a minute, and NOW, yes, I remember. If it's what I'm thinking it is. For example, I believe there was a very provocative story entitled something like 'Huinesoron's Very Odd Day'?

If I was behind the first one, oh dear. Well, I hereby offer my most humble apologies. XD

By the end of things... by Huinesoron on 2013-03-05 09:59:00 UTC Link to this

... there were no less than three Odd Day stories, with, uh, 'shenanighans' involving virtually everyone on the Board (and a fair few agents). It was... quite epic.

What would be fantastic would be if you could talk about the Old Chat - the roleplays, and whatever else took place there. (Actually, given what I've heard about that place... not everything that happened there, please). So far I don't think anyone else was even here when it existed...

hS

Ye Olde Chat by BeautyID on 2013-03-05 16:08:00 UTC Link to this

No kidding? You mean that chat that was around back in like '04? NO ONE else was here when it existed?! I know you were here, did you never enter the chat? Wise choice. :P

Though as a footnote to that, to preserve my own reputation (cough), I don't remember anything totally depraved ever going on there. A lot of silliness and subtext, but I think it was mostly PG-13. o_O'

I found the roleplay I was talking about. It's entirely mad and the only person going by their actual screenname (as opposed to an LotR character's name) is Jon, so I'm not going to bother posting it. I can't even remember who the participants really were.

Nooooo, post it! by Huinesoron on 2013-03-06 09:53:00 UTC Link to this

I'm actually planning a text archive to go with the film, for all those bits and pieces that don't get read out. That would be a perfect addition to the whole thing.

There's a few people around who were here when the chat was up, but none of them have replied to this thread. :P I went in occasionally - the 'Lord of the Things' RP on AW's site features me as Gandalf the Grey - but didn't often enjoy it. I don't go into the new one, either. :P

(You have a reputation? Where on earth did you steal that from?)

hS

Okay, here it is! by BeautyID on 2013-03-07 01:29:00 UTC Link to this

You asked for it. But it makes very little sense, because I only actually printed out part of it, so there's not really a beginning or an end. I did provide a small explanation: Eldarion has decided he wants to marry men, Aragorn is not happy about this, Elrohir has gone insane and it egging Eldarion on, Jon is an Aragorn imposter. Hmm... yep.

Eldarion: I only like Men, and maybe an elf here or there.

Aragorn: WOMEN! ELVES!

Elrohir: SPIDERS!

Jon: *would call for a medic, if only was not unconscious*

Elrohir: LIONS!

Eldarion: Dad, 'Men' is a race. :-P

Aragorn: Elrohir!

Elrohir: TIGERS!

Arwen: (ok, I go away for two minutes and now I'm totally lost)

Elrohir: BEARS!

Aragorn: Alright then, have fun with the Rohirrim women!

Agent Talia: Oh my

Eldarion: Dad's mad at me because I want to shag the Rohirrim.

Elrohir: RIDERS!

Eldarion: I will have fun with the Rohirrim women.

Aragorn: No, I just don't want you to shag the men

Elrohir: MEN!

Eldarion: :)

Aragorn: Good son

Elrohir: Men.

Jon: (I disguised myself badly as Aragorn, and tried to corrupt Elrohir just as Aragorn got back. :P)

Eldarion: *Looks innocent*

Aragorn: Have grandchildren!

Elrohir: (I've gone from weepy to Bagenders!Frodo to nearly Bursar material)

Jon: *wakes up* Children with the Witch King! I'm sure we can find a way to revive him.

Elrohir: With MEN!

Eldarion: I'll have fun with the women... and the men- What?! Nothing! *Runs*

Eldarion: *Blinks*

Aragorn: ..

Aragorn: Eldarion...

Elrohir: *nodds happily* Good nephew. Men.

Eldarion: Witch Kings really aren't my thing.

Eldarion: Yes, Father?

Aragorn: ONLY women..

Eldarion: Why, Father?

Jon: Sure they are, son.

Elrohir: ONLY male women, he means.

Eldarion: (LMAO, Elrohir. XD)

Aragorn: Because you will be king someday!

Eldarion: So?

Elrohir: You are DA KIG!

Aragorn: You need a Queen!

Jon: No, because I plan on living forever.

Eldarion: I'll have a Queen.

Elrohir: A male Queen!

Aragorn: And not that kind of queen!

Elrohir: A Drag Queen!

Agent Talia: Drag queen... oh dear

Eldarion: *Sporfle*

Aragorn: *handforhead*

Eldarion: Dad, I want Legolas to be my Queen. XD

Elrohir: Good Eldarion.

Jon: You can't have him. He's mine, son.

Elrohir: Good choice.

Elladan: Hey, sorry, but I have to go. Bye!

Aragorn: ...ARWEN!

Elrohir: Bye.

Eldarion: Back off, Jon.

Elrohir: Arwen?

Aragorn: Bye Elladan...

Jon: Ok...

Eldarion: Legolas only has eyes for me.

Aragorn: Yes, Arwen

Elrohir: FROGS!

Jon: My son hates me. ;;

Aragorn: Legolas is currently surrounded by fangirls

Elrohir: R-r-r-r-r-

Eldarion: I'll kill the fangirls for him.

Aragorn: If you can get past the fangirls I'll let you marry Legolas AND a woman.

Eldarion: COOL!

Elrohir: *nods happily and gives Eldarion a bow*

Agent Talia: Oh goodness

Elrohir: A male woman.

Aragorn: BUT YOU MUCH MARRY A WOMAN!

Elrohir: A MALE woman.

Eldarion: If I kill all the fangirls, can I marry Legolas, a woman, AND a man?!

Aragorn: A WOMAN WOMAN!

Elrohir: MALE woman!

Jon: Don't forget the Witch King!

Elrohir: SPIDER!

Aragorn: No, just Legolas and a woman who can reproduce.

Eldarion: NOT the Witch King. >.
Elrohir: MALE woman.

Eldarion: *Pouts* Father, I want Legolas, a man, and a woman.

Jon: Oh, come one. He's really not that bad.

Elrohir: *nods* HOBBIT!

Aragorn: *sighs* I can't win...

Eldarion: The Witch King's dead, Elboron's mum killed him.

Elrohir: BILBO!

Aragorn: Alright! As long as you have a woman to make heirs, I'm good.

Eldarion: Yay!

Elrohir: Bilbo!

Jon: Who writes history, me - the king - or Elboron's mum - a crossdresser?

Eldarion: Bilbo's too old, and I don't like hobbits... too short.

Eldarion: Elboron's mum. ^^

Aragorn: I'm the king! You are an imposter!

Elrohir: ...Pippin.

Aragorn: (Mm.../I/ want Pippin...)

Jon: No I'm not! Look at this /obviously real/ stubble!

Eldarion: (lol)

Elrohir: PIPPIN!

Eldarion: I'm going to marry Elboron.

Aragorn: ...

Arwen: (*sighs* I'm so tired, I can't keep up... I'll have to take a rain check on this)

Eldarion: (lmao..)

Elrohir: *nods happily* ELZORO!

Aragorn: *blinks, takes medication*

Jon: Only if you can produce an heir for me.

Arwen: wait... did my son just say he's marrying a MAN?

Aragorn: ME!

Elrohir: (Bye)

Eldarion: You're not my father, Jon.

Eldarion: Yes, do you have a problem with that, Dad?

Aragorn: (Bye?)

Jon: I'm not? But I've got stubble... And greasy hair.

Elrohir: (Hi?)

Aragorn: (...)

Eldarion: Dad has clean hair now that he's king.

Aragorn: Nope! *grins* Not anymore!

Eldarion: Nice try.

Elrohir: LEGOLAS! ELZORO! PIPPIN! MALE WOMAN!

Arwen: Honey, you know your father and I iwill always love you... but... this is rather a shock... and Aragorn, you will shower by the end of the day or no more cupboard time for /you/!

Eldarion: *Stares at Elrohir blankly*

Agent Talia ...>:(

Aragorn: As long as you've got heirs, I'm good!

Eldarion: You'll have plenty of heirs, calm down.

Aragorn: I'm clean!

Elrohir: Legolas, Elboron, Pippin, male woman.

Aragorn: It's the imposter that's not!

Jon: Why do you get all the heirs? *jealous*

Aragorn: And woman

Eldarion: What about a woman?

Aragorn: You need at least one!

Elrohir: *nods* Legolas, Elboron, Pippin, male woman, woman woman.

Jon: I'm sorry Arwen. I'll bath later. Cupboard time now?

Arwen: ... Oo?

Aragorn: *hugs Arwen*

Eldarion: Ok! I TOLD you I'd marry a woman and make plenty of babies!

Eldarion: OK?!

Elrohir: FIVE!

Aragorn: Good, I'm happy then!

Eldarion: ...Five. Sure.

Elrohir: HUNDRED!

Eldarion: ...

Jon: Why don't you ever try to please me? ;;

Eldarion: I don't think so.

Elrohir: FIVE!

Eldarion: Because you're not my father, Jon, you're an imposter.

Arwen: Elrohir, will you kindly stop shouting? Being mortal has not affected my sensitive ears.

Eldarion: Yes, five, sure.

Elrohir: hundred?

Eldarion: *Rolls eyes* Not my problem, mom.

Eldarion: NOT HUNDRED!!!!!

Eldarion: --'

Aragorn: Let's go to the room that Galadriel gave us! *picks up Arwen, goes into room*

Jon: Thousand. You never know /when/ a Great War will pop up and kill most of my heirs.

Elrohir: HUNDRED!!!!!

Elrohir: FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND!!!!!

Eldarion: Iluvatar...

Eldarion: *Hits Elrohir over the head with a brick*

Elrohir: *falls down*

Elrohir: xx

Jon: ...I don't know, Elrohir. If he has five hundred thousand, I'll have trouble putting them all through college.

Elrohir: *wakes up*

Elrohir: Five hundred thousand, half girls.

Eldarion: I'm not having five hundred thousand kids. >.
Aragorn: *runs out with sword* KILL THE IMPOSTER!

Elrohir: Busy. Start early.

Eldarion: How the heck would I do that with one elf, one man, and one woman?!

Aragorn: *chases Jon*

Jon: No, no... How about we come to an agreement? *runs away*

Elrohir: Mpreg?

Eldarion: Hmm... :-P

Aragorn: *slashy slash* KILL!

Jon: Maybe you can recognize me as your sexier, evil twin?

Eldarion: Dad, Legolas is pregnant! XD

Elrohir: *grins*

Aragorn: *suddenly, the medication has sent Aragorn spiraling out of character*

Elrohir: Good job, nephew. Congratulations.

Eldarion: Thanks, Uncle! ^^

Elrohir: Twins?

Aragorn: *blinks* That's great son!

Aragorn: *keeps chasing*

Eldarion: Quintuplets!

Jon: Good job, son! *still running*

Eldarion: (lol!)

Elrohir: ^^ Congratulations!

Aragorn: *striks Jon*

Aragorn: Mwehehehehehehe

Elrohir: *watches Aragorn strik in amazement*

. . . The End.

(How could you question my reputation? Of course I have a reputation, much like my compatriots the sons of Feanor had 'reputations'.)

That's the funniest thing I've read in a while. Thanks... by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 21:56:00 UTC Link to this

...for sharing it, and for having printed it out in the first place! I was laughing all the way through :D

...someone should do a dramatic reading for the documentary...if anyone can manage not to laugh hysterically all the way through, that is.

~DF

... yep, that place was insane. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-07 08:27:00 UTC Link to this

This will go in the documentation for sure.

(I wouldn't say you lot had a 'reputation' - more of a 'giant neon sign warning everyone to run far, far away before the Feanorians come any closer'...)

hS

Clearly we were just starved for affection... by BeautyID on 2013-03-07 16:55:00 UTC Link to this

Hug a Feanorian!!! ;D

*declares Hug-a-Feanorian Day* :-) by Khaosity on 2013-03-07 21:22:00 UTC Link to this

Did you know there's a song by Nightwish called "The Kinslayer"? It's actually about something else, but the title seemed appropriate ;-)
Also, Nightwish stuff is always awesome. *has just shamelessly plugged favorite band*

I'm there! by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 21:54:00 UTC Link to this

...er, as long as I have a guarantee that no Feanorian will kill, maim, or in any way injure me should I take part in the Hug-a-Feanorian Day activities. Feanorians are rather dangerous, you know.

~DF

Don't worry... by Khaosity on 2013-03-07 22:40:00 UTC Link to this

...they have been bribed with shinies! Of course, if you insult them, steal their shiny things, or otherwise annoy them, you will be marked down as a suicide. You have been duly warned :-P

O.O by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 23:08:00 UTC Link to this

Don't worry, I know better than to take the Feanorians' shinies. No matter how shiny they are, I shall resist. I know full well what happens if I don't! (An Oath, three Kinslayings, and a war that...well...doesn't actually kill me, but gets me imprisoned). And insulting...another big no. As for annoying...well, most people tend to think I'm nice, so hopefully there won't be a problem there...

(But yes, that's most definitely suicide. Extremely. Not high on my list of things to do.)

...I just had this mental image of Agent Dawn losing what self-control she has and glomping Feanorians while they're still dazed from the Sue she's just killed. Hopefully, that daze will last long enough to keep her from getting killed...

~DawnFire

That's a cute mental image... by Khaosity on 2013-03-10 01:54:00 UTC Link to this

But one would hope there'd be some not-quite-as-dangerous people around for her to glomp. Flying glomps and general hyperness were what I had in mind under "otherwise annoy", I never meant to imply you weren't nice. Brief hugs are fine, flying glomps are not. Except, possibly, if you're Elros or Elrond and the Feanorian in question is Maglor. It did say a great love grew between them, so glomps may be forgiveable :)

Happy to. by DawnFire on 2013-03-02 14:41:00 UTC Link to this

Bit of a late response, but I'm happy to do anything that involves writing--as in, I'd rather not do audio or video, but I'm happy to answer questions or write things down or whatever.

Actually, something I could do that could be interesting (I think) to see in a documentary like this--well, I'll explain.

I feel that I owe a lot to the PPC. This is something I've said before, but it's true; I really do owe so much of what I know about writing interesting, relatable characters and plots to the PPC (and to OFUM and various MSTs, and Deleterius--basically, I owe a lot to the Canon Protection Initiative in general, and that's something I can talk about). I can also talk about what it's like to have found the PPC so long ago (ok, about 4 or 5 years ago, but I've come a long way since then) and what it's like to see it still going so strong. Not sure if that's exactly what you want for this documentary, but it could be interesting to talk about the PPC's influence on young writers, and on people's lives in general.

And, of course, if that doesn't fit into this documentary's theme, I'm happy to answer questions someone writes for me.

Side point: I have a question/clarification for you, hS, but I don't think you've seen it. It's actually at the very bottom of the page right now, so I thought I'd better draw your attention to it before it disappears to the previous page, since I really would like an answer. Could you take a look?

Thanks,

~DawnFire

Not late at all! by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 09:18:00 UTC Link to this

It's absolutely fine for you to write something for someone else to read - I knew going in that there'd be people unwilling/able to record anything. And someone to talk about the impact of the PPC/CPI on young writers would be fantastic - it seems like something that would go either at the beginning or the very end, since it doesn't have a neat slot in the timeline.

Probably the latter, in fact. I've mentioned a couple of times the three questions I'd like to ask everyone (How'd you get here, why'd you stay, and what's changed), and your suggestion would make a nice closer for that.

(And I... well, 'answered' may be a little bit strong to describe what I did to your question)

hS

Well, considering when I first saw this post... by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 09:57:00 UTC Link to this

...which was when it had two replies...yeah, it's a bit late :)

Oh, good. I mean, I like reading stuff aloud, I'm just a little iffy about putting it out on the internet, and I also technically just have the microphone in my laptop for recording equipment, so it's doubtful that anything I recorded would be all that clear anyway.

Really? Cool :) And trust me, I can go on for a while. Or for a slightly shorter while, if that's what's necessary. But basically, I'm pretty sure I found the PPC at a time when I was at the tail end of growing out of being a mild Suethor (I know, horrifying--you should see some of the chats I unearthed recently), and I really do think it helped me grow as a writer. And, of course, it entertained me immensely, so that was a bonus. I can also talk about what led me to actually say hello on the Board, and about what's changed between my initial encounters with the CPI/PPC and now--there was a year or two where the most contact I had with the CPI in general was using Mary-Sue Litmus Tests and reading the occasional related article. Whatever works; I like to talk, and I like to write, and in this case, they go together.

(Well, my brain has...er, responded is a bit too mild a word. Actually, I have written a response to your answer {which I was very pleased--and excited--to get}; it should be posted as soon as I get a chance to proofread it. I do hope you know what you've started; my brain took the idea and ran away with it, cackling madly, and in the next hour I ended up with about 1,000 words worth of ideas. My ideas keep snowballing lately...Then again, for the most part, that's a good thing.)

(My planned interludes just get crazier and crazier...oh, well. Hopefully that means they'll be fun to read. If nothing else, they'll be fun to write.)

~DF

*-peeks in* Can I still help? by Rina on 2013-03-02 12:46:00 UTC Link to this

Interviewing, acting as a voice for other people's contributions and anything you order me to do ,I can do it! :)

Of course you can! by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 09:07:00 UTC Link to this

At the moment it's looking like there'll be a handful of questions for everyone to answer (How did you find the PPC? Why did you decide to stay? How have things changed since you joined/How did things change between you joining and you leaving? ... and one other which I won't mention - spoilers), and then hopefully everyone can do a piece on something specific. So, looking over the list... if you came here from TVTropes (lots of people did), that's still there to talk about... or if you use the wiki a lot... or if you've been involved in any roleplays here?

Then of course there's a lot of things you can read and comment on even if you weren't here when they happened - it's up to you.

Any thoughts?

hS

*Teleports back onto the Board* by Starwind Rohana on 2013-03-01 20:43:00 UTC Link to this

Hi, hS! *Waves.* Long time, no see, I guess... I just got a nostalgia hit and thought I'd drop back in.

I know I've been gone for ... a considerable period of time ... but I'd be willing to talk about the time I was around and what it was like being in the community back then, if you like.

Holy heck. Welcome back! by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:23:00 UTC Link to this

You were actually one of the people I was going to try and look up and ~~pester~~ interview, so it's great to see you back by yourself.

Since this thread is rather lacking in specifics so far, I'm going to start trying to pin some down, so:

In addition to a general thingy about The Community Of Your Day, would you be willing to describe/be interviewed about the Multiverse Monitor? Or, indeed, anything else specific - that one just springs to mind for-some-reason-can't-imagine-why.

hS

Oh, and also... by Starwind Rohana on 2013-03-04 15:34:00 UTC Link to this

How about the Snowball Fights? As I recall, those were madcap hilarity, especially the first one. (And accidental innuendos, for some reason...)

That occurred to me... by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 18:17:00 UTC Link to this

... about five minutes after I replied the first time. :P

If you can magic up something to say about the Snowfight, that would be awesome! I linked the prose version somewhere up there (2005, maybe?), so if you need to reread, it's there for the asking...

hS

Sure! by Starwind Rohana on 2013-03-03 07:50:00 UTC Link to this

Well, the Multiverse Monitor was my major contribution, apart from a lot of chattering. *Grins.*

Shiny! by VixenMage on 2013-02-28 23:05:00 UTC Link to this

I think I can hang a date on the IRC, with a little GTalk-archiving, and I'd be happy to do an audio or video thing on it!

That would be fantastic. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:28:00 UTC Link to this

If you could do a specific piece on the IRC, it would really help, since it is of course one of the major components of the community.

hS

Definitely. by VixenMage on 2013-03-03 03:46:00 UTC Link to this

I was thinking a brief (and tactful) history, emphasis on the community and silliness aspects. Dann says he is also willing to collaborate - so we will be in touch!

That sounds brilliant. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 09:04:00 UTC Link to this

Although the Board usually only sees the things that would need 'tactfully' not mentioning, I'm pretty sure there's heaps of community/silliness going on over there, so hopefully it won't even be too difficult for you!

hS

Fun! by Cassie on 2013-02-28 08:12:00 UTC Link to this

I'm willing to do any vocals as desired, though I'd rather not do video of myself on the grounds that I am rarely photogenic enough. :P So yeah, consider me a freelancing voice actress. Interviews, readings, etc. :D

Ooh! I'll help! by Karen on 2013-02-28 04:41:00 UTC Link to this

I can provide readings of things, but only audio. I'll also do some interviews if somebody else gives me questions! Or I suppose, if you give me some sort of directions, I could think up some questions on my own? I'd really love to contribute, even if I'm technically not a full member yet (Permission an' all that).

'Full member' =/= 'Permission'. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:30:00 UTC Link to this

Several of our oldest members - such as BeautyID, who wrote the poem at the top of the Constitution - never had Permission. If anyone's been giving you the idea that you need Permission to be considered a full member, they're wildly wrong.

I think it'd be fantastic to have a 'What the PPC is like for people just joining'-type piece from you, and also... well, anything else. Is there anything on the list which you've read or had experience with now, even though it was made a long time ago?

hS

Sign me up! by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 01:42:00 UTC Link to this

If you can find something for me to do. :)

I gotta warn you though, though I found the ToS and OFUM several years ago, I never went past that until a couple months ago, so I can't really help out with the timeline or incidences that happen around here.

I'd be happy to help out with questions, and though I'm not the best artist, I could try my hand at providing images, and I could be a voice too. :)

Not necessarily true. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:34:00 UTC Link to this

There's obviously a fair few things on there you have to have experienced (the Gatherings, the Badfic Contest), but there's also loads you can talk about even if you've only run into them since. The Reorganisation, for instance, or the Anniversary Party and Invasions. Heck, something like Tungsten_Monk's troll dissection could be discussed by anyone, to reflect on how it shows the PPC's personality as it were.

And, of course, OFUM itself is on the list... so, any thoughts?

hS

True-ish by Myrddin on 2013-03-02 19:15:00 UTC Link to this

Since I wasn't on the boards at the time I didn't get to experience this side of things, but I do remember coming across the Badfic contest the first time I read through OFUM, probably shortly after it finished, and it was posted with the rest of the stuff. It was a scream! XD

I'll definitely get some thoughts together for you on OFUM, and I'll have a read through the dissection and re-org/party/invasions too :)

KittyNoodles, reporting for stuffs! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-27 21:48:00 UTC Link to this

I'd like to do a little piece about how I found and came to join the PPC, if I may! I'll even do it video style, now that I finally have the means to record videos! (That said, any specific video format you're looking for, or does it matter? I'm thinking file types here - like video.example or something.)

And I'd be willing to write questions or do quick (very quick) sketches for anyone who would like their real face to remain a mystery. :D

Excellent. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:36:00 UTC Link to this

We always need people's personal perspectives. Are there any other things on the list you know enough about to want to talk about? Actually, and I forgot to put this on there, I'm wondering if the Postcard Exchange might not be worth adding to 2012... remember that?

hS

Eeeeeeegsellent. by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-02 10:38:00 UTC Link to this

(I had to.)

Well, I know the Original Series pretty much as well as I know most Mother Goose stories, and I've read Crashing Down (although that's not on the list, or else I'm not seeing the link to it...) And I have a few memorable mishaps from my early days of editing the Wiki... ^///^;

We should definitely add the Postcard Exchange! That was so much fun (once I found a postcard)!

Crashing Down... by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 12:15:00 UTC Link to this

... is sort of subsumed in The Reorganisation, the former being the sequel to the later. You have read Reorg... right? :P

Okay! So I'll put you down to talk about the Postcard Exchange, yes?

hS

... by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-03 06:16:00 UTC Link to this

OF COURSE I'VE READ REORGANIZATION, WHYEVER WOULD YOU THINK OTHERWISE HA HA HA HA HA--

No, not yet. To be honest, Crashing Down depressed me so much I haven't been back to Tangled Webs yet...

Yes. Absolutely~!

Like me, right? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 06:40:00 UTC Link to this

I'm kind of half-wondering if that wasn't a partial stab in my direction...

That said, it would take all of one look at the wiki to see my ugly mug anyhow, having finally made myself a profile page, but all the same, I'd much rather prefer to just send in a written thing and just pray whoever voices for me (because my voice is garbage on recording devices) doesn't decide to voice me in a horribly Victorian English noblewoman's voice.

Actually, that'd be hilarious. XD

Er, no, actually. by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-28 22:32:00 UTC Link to this

Despite the way I behave IRL, you'd be surprised how little I actually think of you when making snarky comments. Also, I was being sincere and generous, not snarky and jerkish.

Whoops, hold the phone... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 03:24:00 UTC Link to this

My bad. Appatently I was implying jerk/snark.

And apparently I can't type apparently correctly half the time.

Okay, so apologies everywhere.

...I'm not taking back my objection. by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-01 07:10:00 UTC Link to this

Eh, I responded a bit more sharply to it either way (in my initial response). So apologies all around.

That said, OBJECTION. What does appatently even mean? My Internet's spellchecker doesn't recognize it as a word!

Having now checked... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 07:32:00 UTC Link to this

It's not a word.

It's a bullhonkey spelling my phone decided to recognize as a substitute for apparently.

Par for the course with this junker...

I wasn't implying any jerk/snark. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 03:22:00 UTC Link to this

I was just saying that I fall into the "will never reveal my face online" category.

99.9% of the time.

OBJECTION! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-01 07:09:00 UTC Link to this

-slams desk- Yes you were! That is a blatant contradiction in your testimony, Mr. SC!

HOLD IT! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 07:34:00 UTC Link to this

*Points dramatically* I have already rectified the issues with my testimony! Your argument is void, prosecutor KittyNoodles!

HOLD IT! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-02 02:38:00 UTC Link to this

I never said I was a prosecutor! I merely chose not to point! What do you say to THAT, phony lawyer?!

TAKE THAT! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-02 03:17:00 UTC Link to this

You never denied it, either! And who says you HAD to point? Godot never points!

OBJECTION! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-02 10:30:00 UTC Link to this

Gesturing with your coffee cup counts as pointing! And in any event, YOUR ARGUMENT WORKED AGAINST YOU! I was trying to argue that not pointing did not mean I was taking the prosecutor's role, and your argument just made it sound as though pointing would have meant I was being the prosecutor!

That's right... You just strengthened my point!

...HOLD IT. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-02 10:37:00 UTC Link to this

That...

What?

HOLD IT! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-02 10:39:00 UTC Link to this

AHA! So you admit to counterarguing your own argument, eh, Mr. SC?

...OBJECTION! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-02 10:41:00 UTC Link to this

I have not had enough coffee for this, court is in recess...

This seems interesting. by World-Jumper on 2013-02-27 20:16:00 UTC Link to this

You seem to be exited for this project, and seem to have really thought it out. I cannot provide much information for you, however, I would be happy to provide readings of either others questions/answers, and anything else that you could need read. I am interested in acting or voice acting as a potential career (though likely just a hobby), and am currently trying to expand my speaking range and quality, so I would be more than happy to assist in this department.

I can only think of a couple little things that could be added. One is a section on our little quirks, such as gift giving to new members and the random role plays we do. I know this is a 'personal' story, but the PPC has so many little nuances to it, that there should be a specific time slot dedicated to it.

Another is having little interludes from the fictional world. When the person speaks, he/she could have their agents come in and say some things about their creator, only to be neralized of the fact they have a creator at the end. I just think having little moments that have to do with the in-univerce PPC would be nice, and funny of corse. Hey, how about have the Sunflower Official do the narration in-between moments from the community. I, being male, would be more than happy to provide the voice for our supreme overlo-I mean, generous Official.

I don't know what else to say, other than if you could get Jay and Acacia, Miss Cam, and other founding members to provide some of their thoughts, that would be awesome. Don't know how one would get in contact with them though...

Good luck with the documentary!

You make good suggestions. by Huinesoron on 2013-02-27 21:02:00 UTC Link to this

1/ The little quirks: my original thoughts on this, though I managed to lose them somewhere in between, was that we could have a handful of people talking about how they found the PPC, what happened when they joined, etc, in the appropriate slot in the timeline. You could volunteer for that! The roleplays and other games are mostly mentioned by name on one of their early appearances (Fill the Plothole, Things I Am Not Allowed To Do, the Snowfight and Fifth Anniversary, the Mary-Sue Invasion...)

2/ Well, the narration is being done by Agent Dafydd, because he's had practice, and I'm planning on trying to interview the team at Radio Nutmeg (which should be on the timeline for September 2008). And of course if anyone wants to do something tie-in-y in the film, they're more than welcome.

3/ I will be trying to hunt down a bunch of oldbies. First, though, I need to know there'll be enough to build on... hintsubtlehint...

hS

Not related to the documentary, but... by World-Jumper on 2013-03-04 20:18:00 UTC Link to this

It says on the wiki that you are a permission giver, and I have been waiting a while for a response to my permission request. If you would not mind looking over it, or directing one of the other permission givers to the request, I would be so grateful. The request is right here: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=238626;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

If you see this, thanks.

Never mind, I got a responce (nm) by World-Jumper on 2013-03-05 04:47:00 UTC Link to this

My recording things are terrible and I am unphotogenic. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-02-28 03:24:00 UTC Link to this

But if I can, I'll try to get together a recording of how I got into the PPC, because I'm somewhat of an oldbie so yeah.

You are kind of old now, aren't you? by Huinesoron on 2013-03-02 08:41:00 UTC Link to this

In the PPC, I mean, the so-called 'real world' is irrelevant here. :P

I'm trying to remember just when you joined, but drawing something of a blank... I do know you've spent a fair amount of time playing around with the Mary-Sue Factories, so in addition to your personal piece, would you like to discuss them, as part of the wider Reorganisation/Crashing Down phenomenon, and how they've affected your writing? Because I think the way you've picked the Factories up and run (and run and run) with them is one of the things that makes the PPC community special - sharing and expanding ideas.

Alternately (or additionally!), there's the Badfic Contest sitting up there somewhere for someone to talk about...

hS

Well, I discovered it in 2006, but I joined in about 2008... by Lily Winterwood on 2013-03-09 07:38:00 UTC Link to this

I suppose I could talk about playing around with Mary Sue Factories, yeah, and the Badfic contests too (considering I was the first one to write goodfic for the badfic contest).

Lemme see what I can conjure up.

Same with me. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 06:54:00 UTC Link to this

On the recording and photogenic parts.

I sound like I wear polka-dot bow ties and suspenders on camera, and look like a dork with a mousse-stash.

Which, mind you, I am a dork with a mousse-stash.

BUT I DO NOT WEAR BOW TIES OR SUSPENDERS.

Hey, don't diss the bow tie! by World-Jumper on 2013-02-28 09:15:00 UTC Link to this

Bow ties ARE cool. Deal with it.

Yeah, but polka dot ones? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 15:40:00 UTC Link to this

Or, geez, I've even seen a plaid one.

Permission Request by World-Jumper on 2013-02-27 19:57:00 UTC Link to this

Well, after all this time of having fun, making a fool of myself at times, and mentally developing charge lists whenever I read fanfiction, I think it is time I ask for permission. After reading through the wiki page about six times, I believe I have all the required paperwork right here:

Agent Bios, department and links to the badfic that will be my first mission: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1POWHiBWoPvBN6etmqeyyZ-6sBvOKa8zH4fn_Mm3FCBY/edit?usp=sharing

Permission Piece: https://docs.google.com/document/d/190WxiVaZ5m3ONRzN3TQGff7KpUPeUWYl0Y87oH7Zqwk/edit?usp=sharing

Hopefully everything is in order, and any questions or concerns the community may have are ready to be addressed. Now I sit back wait, calmly and professionally, because permission is totally Serious Business.

...Oh, shiny thing!

(Belated) congratulations! by the Irish Samurai on 2013-03-18 14:45:00 UTC Link to this

Good to see that you got Permission

Thanks, you were fantastic. by World-Jumper on 2013-03-18 20:21:00 UTC Link to this

Thank you so much for betaing, I definitely could not have gotten it without your help. Which, since we are on that subject, I am currently re-working my agents introductions, so I am likely to shoot that over to you once I am done. That is, if you are willing.

Glad I could help. by the Irish Samurai on 2013-03-19 16:15:00 UTC Link to this

Yeah, I'll take a look at your agent intro piece again, no problem. Just send it through whenever you want me to take a look at it.

Congratulations! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-07 01:59:00 UTC Link to this

I forgot what I promised to throw at you, so HAVE A GIANT BALL OF CONFETTI. -drops said giant confetti ball on you-

Yay~!

*Confetti Hits* by World-Jumper on 2013-03-07 03:20:00 UTC Link to this

Ow... You know, Pinkie has used those things as weapons before right?

Owww....

Thanks! I have been waiting for this day for a while now. I'm just so glad I finally have it!

Congrats! by Khaosity on 2013-03-07 00:06:00 UTC Link to this

Yay for Permission! Have some nice 'splosions to celebrate! Whether it's 'Sues dying a nicely violent death or just bog-standard rockets is up to you...

Hi there! by VixenMage on 2013-03-04 21:46:00 UTC Link to this

First off, apologies for the inexcusably long wait - I've been meaning to get back to you for a while, but life is sort of hectic at the moment.

You've been around the 'Board for a while, contributed to discussions, not been a flaming jerk, generally been a literate and friendly person - that's a check. The agents are plausible and interesting, and you responded positively to concrit - check and check. Your badfic's been deleted, so I can't quite check that one off - definitely make sure you clear the 'fic you decide on with someone before you go ahead with the mission.

Your sample is a bit of a dilemma - not necessarily because it's bad, but because it doesn't really show off a sense of humor. We've given people holds on Permission for overuse of Grimdark before, but this isn't that - it's just a very matter-of-fact piece, without a lot of character interaction or dialogue. I don't want to say no, because there's definitely nothing wrong with your piece, but I have trouble saying yes without seeing anything more dynamic than a myth. You said you'd started your first mission - would you mind e-mailing me what you've got so far? Even if it's not perfect, since you probably haven't beta'd it yet - I'd just like to go over it and see how you do humor and dialogue.

(Other PGs: does this sound alright? Am I overreacting, do you have comments/concerns/better ideas?)

I... kinda see what you mean. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-05 09:54:00 UTC Link to this

The piece is pretty well written, with no obvious SPG mistakes, and fits very nicely into the genre it was written for. I particularly liked the million years/day use and subversion at various points.

But... it doesn't really demonstrate how World-Jumper writes outside that genre. For instance, the list of weapons: that's fine for mythology (and has ancient precedent), but would be extremely bad writing if done in a mission, or indeed most other contexts.

The other thing, which is sort of the same thing, is the brief glimpses of the gods-as-people we see. They're pretty darn flat - War is pure violent evil, to take the most developed example. Which... again, is fine and actually the best thing for pseudo-mythology, but in a mission...

As I see it, a Permission Piece is asked for so we can check three things:

-Can you spell & grammatise? Yes, you can.
-Can you describe things without being urple? While the description here is obviously tweaked to the genre, I think this is a yes too. Actually in some places it was too normal for the pseudomyth - 'an extremely muscular build' snagged my brain as something from a story, not a myth (which are more of the 'strong enough to break an ox' mould). But in general, yes.
-Can you write characters without them being Suvian? Well... I can't tell. Your bios don't scream 'Stu!' - although I note we have another 'shy friendly type', which I've never understood :P - and look as if you've set up at least two sources of humourous conflict (shy/sociable, and fanboy/pony). But there's no positive evidence either.

Additionally, there is a fourth 'bonus point', which can often sit in for some of the others:
-Can you write well? This is about flow, style and so forth. And again... I can't tell. I can tell you can write myth well, which is brilliant if you decide to add to the Myths of the PPC... but is that because you chose a subject that fits your only style, or because you tuned your style to fit your subject? I'm assuming the latter - but it's honestly impossible to tell.

In conclusion: I think that once you show either VM-by-email or us-by-Board a sample of character-centred writing, you'll get a very quick decision. I'm assuming it'll be a Yes - but I can't say for sure.

hS

Alright, I finally have what I think will work. by World-Jumper on 2013-03-05 21:36:00 UTC Link to this

Sorry for the wait, but I had to get the pieces, then I had to go to school, then...

Anyway, I decided to upload them to G-Docs again, it is part of the permission piece link. Yes it is labeled myth on the doc. Who cares. It is the meeting of the agents in HQ. While I did have part of the mission done somewhere, I cannot seem to find it. Oh well.

As for your points, I completely understand, and that is why I am not truly upset. I'm just a little disappointed, and honestly part of me is telling the rest of me "I told you so!" It is a funny feeling to rub the fact in my own face. I only write urple when the situation calls for it, such as the agents finding a powerful stu item. (I was going to use this in my first mission actually, which it turns out I might still be able to use. I'll tell you why later.) Otherwise, I prefer to describe actions and the important setting.

The reason for this is because I come from a storyteller's mindset, meaning my priorities when writing and others priorities may be different. That is why I do myths well, because I usually write what I would be willing to say if I were a storyteller of old, though I can write in other styles. The storyteller mindset does help cut down description without being bland though.

Anyway, do keep in mind this is not quite finished. It has gone though one round of editing, and might need more. This just shows, hopefully, that I can write for the PPC.

*steals Pinkie's party cannon and fires it at you* by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-06 16:53:00 UTC Link to this

I can't wait to read your missions!

Steal Pinkie's party cannon? by World-Jumper on 2013-03-06 20:14:00 UTC Link to this

Silly Hermione, you can't steal anything from Pinkie. She'll just come over with her property through the plotholes and the breaking of the fourth wall. Don't worry though, she'll probably see it as 'On Loan,' and seeing as there is a party, she will probably show up any minu-

"Hey guys! Wow, this board is really cool! Though, I expected it to be made of wood, like a wooden board, though I guess this is a posting board, so perhaps it should be made out of Post Its! Hey, that sounds like fun! We should totally cover the board in Post Its and have a party at the same time! You keep the party cannon, I'll go get the Post Its and some MARACAS! Don't move a muscle, I'll be right back!"
Oh Pinkie, you so-
"Not a muscle!!"
...OK.

Thanks, I'll be sure to work out the issues in my introduction, and I'll work on my first mission. I don't know if I can do the one I selected, you know, because it's deleted, but I have a list of other fics I can choose from. I think I have one I could use as a replacement, but I'll give it a few more days before I crank out the mission. Hopefully I can have it finished by the end of spring break, but we will see.

Now, where on earth did Pinkie-
"I'm back! I brought the Post Its, the maracas, extra confetti, and even a DJ!"
Woah, Pinkie, you brought Vinyl Scratch to my permission celebration? I... I don't know what to say...
"Meh, don't mention it. I know you bronies like her, it was really no problem.
Now, do you ponies want to party, or do you ponies want to PAAARTEH!!"

Well, in that case... by DawnFire on 2013-03-06 13:24:00 UTC Link to this

*throws confetti on World-Jumper* Congrats! Welcome to the land of the people who got Permission, and to the special club of the people who got Permission today! (currently just you and me) Woohoo!

*dances around*

~DF

Actually, that should be today and yesterday, not just today by DawnFire on 2013-03-06 13:25:00 UTC Link to this

But I found out today, so it can still be today.

~DF

And with the TARDIS, it can be any day at all! by World-Jumper on 2013-03-06 20:16:00 UTC Link to this

Thanks, I'm still so exited over this! I'm just so glad I can now write those things I have been thinking about doing for a while now. Who knows, some day, perhaps we can do a collaboration! We shall see.

O.O You have a TARDIS? Where? How did you get it? by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 08:57:00 UTC Link to this

I want one!

*cough* Anyway...

I know exactly how you feel! I was jumping up and down all yesterday, and I'm still quite happy today (although I seem to have used up the jumping). Now we get to see if I can actually write the mission part of missions...

And yes, let's hope so! I'm all for it. Actually, maybe I'll make a (short) list of people to co-write with...I think so far it's you and Silken Dawn? Something like that. And then, at some point, it can be brought up again, and it'll happen! :D

Congrats once more! And happy writing! Your missions are going to be great :)

~DawnFire

It's on loan from Doctor Whooves. by World-Jumper on 2013-03-07 21:30:00 UTC Link to this

If you have no idea about who Doctor Whooves is, just look here:
http://www.knowyourmeme.com/memes/doctor-whooves-time-turner
That should give you the basic run-down.

We shall make this (semi)official then:
I, World-Jumper, do agree to write about fictional characters of his creation to be known as 'agents', finding and interacting with characters of DawnFire's creation also to be known as 'agents' for the purpose of fixing the errors and uncanon elements of poorly written fanfiction.
Signed 3-7-2013,
~World-Jumper

There. Once you sign your name to the document, the collaboration agreement will be complete.

Speaking of Doctor Whooves... by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-08 13:37:00 UTC Link to this

Have you seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhmFFKEuog&list=UUfP3R9vq0TlkXJTYoDP3NMw&index=3

Ok, that was awesome. by DawnFire on 2013-03-07 22:09:00 UTC Link to this

Thanks for sharing :)

Dear me, how are they going to find each other? (Well, by assignment, most likely, but...)

Right. Semi-official it is, then!

I, DawnFire, do agree to write about fictional characters of her creation to be known as 'agents', finding and interacting with characters of World-Jumper's creation also to be known as 'agents' for the purpose of fixing the errors and uncanon elements of poorly written fanfiction.
Signed 3-7-2013,
~DawnFire

And there! We have an accord.

~DawnFire

A couple of comments by Huinesoron on 2013-03-06 09:50:00 UTC Link to this

Interestingly, they tie in to my two unanswered points:

-"He had hoped he could reason with the oversized daisy, but it refused to listen to logic. ‘Just goes to show you’, he thought as he walked in the general direction of Bad Slash, ‘you can’t reason with a Flower’. Marvin wandered HQ, not paying much attention to anything, even his destination. If he wandered across HQ, what did he care?"

That's two 'reason with's and two 'wandered [...] HQ' in the same paragraph. There's another 'wandering' a couple of paragraphs later, too. Obviously I'm not suggesting wild thesaurus abuse, but a little variety goes a long way.

--Actually, as a note to the above: wandering HQ without caring where he was going would probably have taken him straight to his RC. It's not necessarily wrong (and you do throw out a 'perhaps it was HQ's strange architecture'), but it raised at least part of an eyebrow.

-Printworthy seems a bit too accepting of... well, a fair few things. 'Oh, a human - I thought they were a myth. Cool'. Um, if I ran into a centaur or something, I'd be rather more flustered about it. Of course, this may be the sort of reaction you'd expect - I'unno the canon.

More key, I think, is that little conversation about plotholes:

"Sounds to me like you fell through a plothole. They appear when something that should not be able to happen does, without any explanation. You must have stumbled across one and came here.” [This is fine. Fairly standard blase PPC reaction. 'Oh, yeah, she's your evil doppleganger and you're a character in a story. Surely this is obvious?']

“A plot hole? That’s a storytelling mishap, they’re not real.” [This is... okay. That 'they're not real' feels a little too accepting to me. Printworthy appears to be assuming Marvin's made a silly mistake, rather than - more logically - that he's stark raving bonkers]

“Oh, don’t they? Plotholes, the Narrative Laws, and the Ironic Overpower all don’t exist?” [This line feels pretty stilted. Neither of the latter two had come up. I'd probably have something like "Oh, don't they? Seems to me like you just fell through a plothole because the Ironic Overpower decreed it, and landed on me of all people through the Laws of Narrative Comedy...", which slots back into the blase PPC approach, with a hint of irritation at not being believed, and still gets everything across. Obviously that's an Agent Dafydd line, not a Marvin line, but you get the point]

“Now hold on! You speak as if literary laws affect reality, and that ponies, or humans, are governed by them, like mere characters in a book!” [Which is actually a pretty good response - but I'm not sure it's a response to the previous line. :P Still, it's the sort of reaction I'd expect]

This overflows a little into the following section - one mention of badfic, and Printworthy instantly believes everything Marvin's saying.

But - and it's a big but - as you've said, this isn't a finished piece. Those two are the sort of thing I'd flag up if I were betaing your story (and would get extremely frustrated if you kept on doing the same thing story after story, just changing the specific examples I cited to my specific example alternatives... sorry, got distracted there, not talking about you. Remember, girls and boys, betas are there to help you improve, not to do your work for you). They're certainly something to watch out for, but if you do keep an eye on them (see what I did there, avoiding repeating 'watch out for'?), they're not a problem.

As a general commentary: your description is good, and (usually) not stilted, you have some genuinely funny moments (yes, Marvin, drop a Star Wars reference on the innocent horsey-thing...), and with a few exceptions your dialogue works nicely. So unless VixenMage or someone else comes by with a powerful argument against, I'm going to say Permission Granted. Here is your official nothing, keep it safe, we are not made of nothing.

hS writes too much

Thank you so much! by World-Jumper on 2013-03-06 19:51:00 UTC Link to this

I understand the points you have, I spotted a few of them upon a later review, and am currently working to fix up the problems you pointed out. Still, seeing as it is an early draft, it is understandable why it has some problems. I will be sure to break out the old thesaurus to add a little variety.

The thing about Marvin passing the RC; he actually did pass it. Five times at least. Remember, he did not care about where he was going so much, he decided to continue walking, despite arriving at his supposed destination. Hmmm, perhaps I could mention that fact somehow... Actually, I should have at some point an interlude with Marvin's original partner from Bad Slash finding him and giving him a piece of her mind. I don't know anything about her beyond her gender at the moment, but at some point...

Yes, Printworthy is a little accepting of everything, but I think I will work it out so that he is either really, really freaking out, or that he had seen so much weirdness in his time, he's just come to accept a lot of things. I'm working on it, as I said.

He does not necessarily believe everything Marvin says once he says badfic is real, per-se, more he is intrigued with either how this new world works, or seeing how a human who has completely lost his marbles works. Eventually, when he meets his first Flower (which will probably never be seen, sadly) he will totally, completely believe. As I said before, and this time it will be the last, I am working on it.

Now that we are done with that... WOO HOO! Thank you for the permission, I will be sure to use it wisely. I won't let you down.

Congratulations!! by Silken Dawn on 2013-03-06 21:13:00 UTC Link to this

Good job, World-Jumper! You're an inspiration to us all!
*waves the hoof of her Fluttershy figurine*

Oh, hey, it's you! by World-Jumper on 2013-03-06 23:16:00 UTC Link to this

All these newbies who I thought had left, now returning! How has it been? Enjoying the Fluttershy figure?

Oh, wow, an inspiration? I... I hardly think I'm THAT interesting. I just chat to people on the internet and view fan material. I'm hardly anybody special. But, if you say I am, then I guess I am. Who knows, perhaps some day I can actually produce some material that will have its own fan material. Then, if I do, and the PPC still exists in some form, I think I would have full rights to spork badfic from my own continuum. Then I would be an inspiration. Yeah, that sounds cool. Until then though, I'm just a guy on the internet.

A guy on the internet who has permission! WOOO!!

Re: Oh, hey, it's you! by Silken Dawn on 2013-03-08 20:21:00 UTC Link to this

It's been alright, I've just been busy for a while. But, hey, we have to PPC some My Little Pony badfic sometime. It's third on my list after one I'm currently working on with KittyNoodles and whatever eye-searing Once Upon a Time fic DawnFire comes up with (I'm sure she'll find one that's hilariously awful).

*Sigh* I was afraid this was going to happen by World-Jumper on 2013-03-05 04:45:00 UTC Link to this

I had reservations to using this piece for this exact reason. However, I was told multiple times that this piece would be acceptable. It makes me a little sad to see that I was assured by many people that all my piece had to show was that I could write well, when my initial suspicions seem to have been correct. Nothing against you, you're just doing what you think is right, I'm just telling you what I was told.

Give me an address to shoot over the e-mail, I'll give you the meeting of the agents and the mission I have so far. Keep in mind the two are very in-progress, and so may have errors, but should show my mission writing style. Plus, I have been writing a few other 'spin offs' with Marvin and Printworthy that may be 'funnier' if you want to see those. Whatever you want to see, I would be happy to give.

Don't get too depressed. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-05 08:29:00 UTC Link to this

We've worked hard at getting PGs to be willing to say 'I don't know'. :P Actually VM has always been best at that.

If you're supplying more samples, why not post at least part of them here? That way when VM is stolen away by aliens from the planet Grozling, someone else can still make a decision.

hS, will read the original to determine level of agreement with VM's... er, non-decision

Thanks ever-so... by VixenMage on 2013-03-06 23:03:00 UTC Link to this

:P What? I like to be certain of things.

(Seriously though, thanks - I sorta moved across the country last weekend, spent most of yesterday in interstate transit, and am currently staying with a sister, sans regular internet access - your intervention in the matter is timely and hugely appreciated.)

Congratulations, World-Jumper! I look forward to reading your missions.

Thanks! by World-Jumper on 2013-03-06 23:19:00 UTC Link to this

Hope you get settled well in your new home. Moving can be hard at times, so I hope this transition is as smooth as possible.

It will take a bit of time before you guys get to see a mission from me, but I'll try and get one out relatively soon. When it is out though, I can only hope I do well with it.

Shiny? Where? by Karen on 2013-02-28 04:49:00 UTC Link to this

Haha I like! I'm a newbie too, by the way. Hope you get Permission!

Re: Shiny? Where? by Blu on 2013-03-01 07:41:00 UTC Link to this

I do too.
NEWBIES UNITE!

Dead links? by son_of_heaven176 on 2013-02-27 23:27:00 UTC Link to this

The backstories are pretty interesting, to say the least, but when I clicked onto the link to the badfic, there was no badfic to be found! The page said "Story does not exist." Did you maybe mistype the URL, or are our intrepid agents going to be dealing with a deletion in their first mission?

OH SON OF A-! by World-Jumper on 2013-02-28 21:00:00 UTC Link to this

Come on! Those stories have been there for weeks, they were there the day before I asked for permission, AND NOW THEY ARE DELETED!? Gah!

While I do have the stories saved (thank goodness), if it turns out he deleted them because he saw that they were bad, I think I'll find a different badfic. Not that that would be hard per-se, but... It was really bad, in a simple way that was PERFECT for a first mission. The Stus were not so mind-numbingly bad that they would drive the agents insane, yet still clearly Stus, it had terrible grammar, dumb dialogue, and it had a Stu item for the agents to loot. I even started writing the mission! I guess we will see what happens but... *sigh* Why did the author have to wise up NOW of all times?

*pats* (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 21:05:00 UTC Link to this

I also got dead links! by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 09:24:00 UTC Link to this

I did do a google search, though, and--well, it's not this, is it? http://www.fimfiction.net/story/16108/me-in-equestria I don't think so, since it doesn't look like it's got a sequel, but...

(Also: FIMfiction? Really? What's a 'fim'? I am confused, which I somehow managed to mistype as 'consued' *shifty eyes* No idea what's up with my typing skills...)

~DF

Friendship is Magic. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-28 10:49:00 UTC Link to this

Tht's what fim stands for. As in, it's a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction site.

Ooh, that makes sense. Thanks. (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 11:03:00 UTC Link to this

Good Luck, Disco Stu! by KittyNoodles on 2013-02-27 21:52:00 UTC Link to this

I'm readying the confetti cannon just in case!

...And if it's a no-go, confetti anyway because it makes everything better!

Disco...Stu? by World-Jumper on 2013-02-27 23:25:00 UTC Link to this

Um, thanks? I think...

Yay, confetti cannons are fun! Let's hope they are used for the first reason, and not the second!

A shiny thing indeed :) by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 21:47:00 UTC Link to this

Well, I'm most definitely not a PG, but I like it! Your writing sample was most absorbing, and full of interesting ideas (and did I catch a PTerry reference with Death's scythe?) I just want to point out two typos that I found:

In the agent bios, Marvin should get 'winded' rather than 'wended'. In the writing sample, there's this: Chaos continued pulling itself through the small hole in the wall of the world. Slowly, yet surly, it would reach though, the beings inside unable to stop its arrival, unable to stop the destruction of their home. 'Surly' should be 'surely'.

Other than that, it looks great! Well done! Hopefully we'll be seeing missions from you soon.

~DF

Ah, thanks, did not catch those. by World-Jumper on 2013-02-27 23:18:00 UTC Link to this

I'll fix them in just a moment. No, it was not a specific Discworld reference, as I wrote it before I even knew what Discworld was. Still, they are similar, and Irish Samurai pointed out the similarity as well. I'm glad you like the piece, and I hope I get the permission.

No problem, 'swhat I'm here for. Among other things. by DawnFire on 2013-02-27 23:22:00 UTC Link to this

Ah, I see. Well, it was still fun to see :)

Best of luck!

~DF

Carefully pokes head out of the shadows. by Quantum on 2013-02-28 00:18:00 UTC Link to this

I am finally posting on the board, after reading all ppc manuscripts I could get my manipulatory limbs on, I belive I'm finally ready to post.

Hello, Quantum! by Silken Dawn on 2013-03-06 21:20:00 UTC Link to this

If I'm not too late to the welcoming party, I'd like to welcome you to the Board with this extra-adorable Fluffy Wambler! (It's native to Dwarf Fortress, and good for throwing at things, if you can bring yourself to risk hurting the little guy)
Anyway, see you around the Board!

Hullo! by Basil The Great on 2013-03-02 05:28:00 UTC Link to this

Pleasure to meet you, Quantum!

(It really is!)

Pardon, that was Basil, my agent.

(Here, have a plate of brownies! They're fresh-baked!)

I hope you enjoy the PPC!

Hey, it's you! Been a while, how are you? (nm) by World-Jumper on 2013-03-03 04:50:00 UTC Link to this

been a while by Quantum on 2013-03-09 15:07:00 UTC Link to this

Sorry, I've been occupied.

Ah, I'm lovely~ by Anonymous on 2013-03-03 05:26:00 UTC Link to this

I've been writing a lot of stories with friends. I have yet to get Permission, though. Think I should?

(And you?)

Oops, that was me! by Basil The Great on 2013-03-03 05:36:00 UTC Link to this

Sorry, forgot to sign that.

I have been just fine by World-Jumper on 2013-03-03 06:13:00 UTC Link to this

(Speak for yourself, I'm being pushed to the side by a nerd and a writer unicorn! I'm starting to think you don't like me anymore Worldie...)
Of corse I like you Jumper. I just want to start with Marvin and Printworthy, that's all.

Well, a bit has happened since you disappeared. For one, I finaly asked for permission. You can see it a few posts down from here. Unfortunately no responce yet, so I am still permissionless. In other news, a spambot hit, I made a fool of myself many times, and a bunch of newbies who did not stick around past their introduction post.

So, you're writing again? May I inquire as to what you have been writing? At least it is better then that one fic you asked to be missioned, right?
…Right?

Nah, I'm sure it is. Welcome back anyway. Stick around a little more this time, ya hear! ;)

Writing, eh? by Great Basil Pasta on 2013-03-06 00:11:00 UTC Link to this

(We'll stick around, this time.)

I'm working on an original series with the guy that I wrote the badfic with. We've both improved a LOT, and it shows.

...though something strange DID happen to our OCs...

Hello there! by KittyNoodles on 2013-03-01 07:07:00 UTC Link to this

Hello, Quantum! I be KittyNoodles, and as a welcome gift I have placed a box of bleepnerds and one Odd Container in your inventory! Enjoy!

Odd Container
Item Level 1
Chance on Opening: Receive one huggle or one shower of confetti - your choice.
[This container is perfectly spherical and appears to be crafted of glite-painted wood. Its weight changes at odd intervals, and you can't shake the feeling opening this container may prove hazardous to your health.]

...Ignore that last bit, the flavor text hates me.

Hello! by Rina on 2013-02-28 14:07:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the Board!

Have some of my home-made chocolates! I'm sorry, I wouldn't be able to give some of my (rock) muffins. :)

Re: Carefully pokes head out of the shadows. by Antigone68104 on 2013-02-28 13:46:00 UTC Link to this

Hi, have some fudge!

Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2013-02-28 13:24:00 UTC Link to this

Greetings, new friend! Help yourself to the sack of venomous invertebrates. Don't worry, they ~~don't~~ bite!

(Also, be sure to check for grammar and spelling before you hit Post. We are a writing community, after all!)

Hey, a newbie! by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 10:11:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the Board! I'm DawnFire. *is distracted by her sparkly nail polish* Right, uh...oh yes, gifts! I gift you with a large bar of Swiss Bleepolate, guaranteed to distract you with yummy sugar while erasing your memory of traumatic details from whatever badfic you've had the misfortune of landing in. *is distracted yet again by her sparkly nail polish. I swear, I did not notice it was this shiny when I put it on.*

So, what are your fandoms? Are you planning on writing missions? Welcome yet again! Have a lovely shiny thing!

~DawnFire

Fandoms by Quantum on 2013-02-28 12:47:00 UTC Link to this

Thank you for the bleepolate. On the topic of fandoms, mine are Discworld, Redwall, Ringworld, Artemis Fowl, and the Wish List.

Me too! by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 16:09:00 UTC Link to this

I love Discworld, though I haven't read much of Pratchett, or read any recently what with all the other books on my "List". I am however a huge fan of Artemis Fowl! *hasn't read the last two books due to monetary issues* *cries* But I've read the first six multiple times! :D

Ooh, we share some! by DawnFire on 2013-02-28 12:56:00 UTC Link to this

Fandoms, that is. Discworld and Artemis Fowl, to be precise. I did read Redwall, but it was a while ago, and I don't think I got very far into it. What I remember of it is good, though, and quite imaginative.

~DF

Hey-o. by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-28 07:16:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. A component of the Grand Unified Theory!

Re: Hey-o. by Arenal on 2013-03-03 22:38:00 UTC Link to this

So sorry to butt in because I know the water isn't for me, but I just had to steal some. Hydrophobic water is one of the most delicious things ever. (The Grand Unified Theory, on the other hand, doesn't taste nearly as good as I thought it would.)

OMG ANOTHER NEWBIE by Karen on 2013-02-28 04:55:00 UTC Link to this

Have a glomp and some cookies! *glomps*

RE: newbie by Quantum on 2013-02-28 23:04:00 UTC Link to this

*Reaches for cookie*. "Mmmm. A cookie. *Is sent flying by glomp*
In real life, a glomp of that magnitude would damage my back, but a virtual glomp doesn't hurt.

I aim to deliver cookies and painless glomps (nm) by Karen on 2013-03-01 14:22:00 UTC Link to this

Greetings, Quantum! by darklordaakmal on 2013-02-28 04:30:00 UTC Link to this

I present to you a virtual cat, from the breed of Schrödinger. If it's there, or not there, you'll know once you observe it. Useful to spy around, but do worry about the quality of your captured videos, if you use a cam on the cat. Or their accuracy of observing the events.

Welcome! by son_of_heaven176 on 2013-02-28 04:22:00 UTC Link to this

Hello, newbie! Welcome to the craziness that is the PPC! What brought you to our neck of the woods?

As for your present...Here's a Ditto plushie. No transforming ability, but it is very soft, almost like the original!

Important question: What are your fandoms?

Might you have a brother named Physics? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 00:34:00 UTC Link to this

If so, we could have a scientific party!

Eh. A gift for teh newbie:

A Staff of Non-Magic Use!

You could pretend it's magic - bash the guy in the head and tell him you conjured up all those pretty birdies!

Croeso! (Welcome!) by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 00:31:00 UTC Link to this

Welcome to the board :) I'd like to present you with one of my limited edition Atlantian sponge capsule packets. Just add water and it will become a full size city of sponge, architectural style specifications are specific to the users whims! And a small vial of Mary-Sue glitter.

:)

Why, thank you very much. by Quantum on 2013-02-28 01:10:00 UTC Link to this

Thank you for the Atlantean sponge packets! This will go to good use. Also, I have a question. Does Sue glitter latch on to a host, and alter the hosts DNA, make the host phyically change with each cell division? Also, if my theory is correct, would the the acceleration of cell division nessecary to cause rapid biological change consume all the fat deposits in an attemp to sustain said change? This would explain the thinnes of Sues. (No, I do not have a sibling named Physics, that was my grandsire.)

To be honest... by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 01:15:00 UTC Link to this

... I have no idea about the glitter. oO All I know is IT SPARKLES!! :D Sparklies are always good, especially if it means another Sue is defeated! ^^

That would explain it though. Very interesting theory.

Glitter by Quantum on 2013-02-28 01:28:00 UTC Link to this

Yes, sparkles do give positive feelings, unless the sparkles are coming from a Suvian species, at which case, it's guooohala, pardon my trollish. (disworld troll)

Re: Glitter by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 01:37:00 UTC Link to this

I don't know, dead Sue sparkle explosions give me warm fuzzies. :D Not so much breathing in the glitter air around a live Sue though... I'll agree with you there.

RE:glitter by Quantum on 2013-02-28 01:53:00 UTC Link to this

For me, its the dawning comprehension that the canon is no longer their's to twist right before dissolving that is the best. (I've killed Sues on freelance jobs, mostly from other, less well known oganizations.)

May I ask who those groups were? by World-Jumper on 2013-03-01 04:06:00 UTC Link to this

I am curious about this sort of thing anyway.

Oh, hello there! As a gift, I give onto thee an Artemis Foul dwarf beard. Don't worry, it's a pull on beard.

That is a good feeling too! (nm) by Myrddin on 2013-02-28 02:34:00 UTC Link to this

Pretty cool fake trailer I thought I'd show you guys by PitViperOfDoom on 2013-02-28 08:52:00 UTC Link to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ix9USJzXV0I A few audio issues, but other than that it's pretty awesome.

To explain, there's sort of a mini-fad going on of having Merida from Brave, Rapunzel from Tangled, Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon, and Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians team up Avengers-style to fight Pitch (also from ROTG) who would obviously be Loki. So someone made a trailer for it, apparently, and I find myself wishing something like this could actually be created in real life.

If I may... by OpinionedAngel on 2013-03-02 00:31:00 UTC Link to this

Can I share this awesome video I found recently? I especially recommend it for all fans of the Mass Effect trilogy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K32Ki6aUKNA

Enjoy!

That... is... Awesome! by OpinionedAngel on 2013-02-28 23:29:00 UTC Link to this

I'd love to see this in reality... not sure how it would all fit together in the movie's timelines... or maybe I'm overthinking things... eh.

From the looks of it, by PitViperOfDoom on 2013-02-28 23:40:00 UTC Link to this

apparently they all fall through magic portals or something. But that's not the important part. The important part is that this is one of the coolest crossovers I've ever seen besides Superwholock.

Fall through portals? by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 03:14:00 UTC Link to this

So, does this mean the PPC is S.H.I.E.L.D., then?

That'd be cool.

And we even have enough Nick Fury to deal with it. by Ellipsis Flood on 2013-03-01 11:09:00 UTC Link to this

Just the mini-Versions of him, but hey, Nick Fury doesn't need full size to be awesome.

Miniature eyepatches are just as badass. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 15:42:00 UTC Link to this

Also, I imagine his voice on helium as a mini.

Heh heh heh...

*chokes* by DawnFire on 2013-03-01 22:28:00 UTC Link to this

In a good way, that is.

Just picture it: a mini-Nick Fury lecturing several mini-Balrogs on proper behavior in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.

...

*goes off in a fit of hysterical giggles*

~DF

Headcanon accepted. (nm) by PitViperOfDoom on 2013-03-01 08:42:00 UTC Link to this

Same here. by DawnFire on 2013-03-01 12:09:00 UTC Link to this

(Although, I also kind of have an agent--who won't turn up for a while, but already has backstory--who was a bit character SHIELD agent before being recruited from a badfic...Probably a bit confusing to have --wait a sec, mini Nick Furys? Avengers already has minis? Why can't I find missions for it?? Or is there an OFU?)

(But yeah, it would probably be a bit confusing for that particular agent to have to deal with mini Nick Furys. At least, that's the sentence I was in the middle of writing.)

~DF

Oh, there's missions... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 15:46:00 UTC Link to this

Look deep enough in the Circle of Lemmings, you'll find them.

I know I did.

*Shudder* poor, poor Tony... Less so for Thor, but he's the son of Odin, so I'm not particularly worried about his recovery to begin with.

No no, I know there's mission-worthy badfic. by DawnFire on 2013-03-01 19:01:00 UTC Link to this

S'not what I meant. What I mean is, I can't find any mission reports, or a mini-listing on the wiki's Mini page, or a mention of an OFU, so I can't figure out where the mini-Nick Furys came from. Believe me, I know there's horrific badfic out there; I just can't find any recorded missions for it!

*winces* Tony...yeah, poor guy. Seriously, he's been through enough in canon; he doesn't really deserve badfic. Unfortunately, he's a very cool character, which means that fangirls are going to latch onto him. Let's face it; he even has fangirls in canon. Fanfictional peace for Tony Stark was never an option that would be taken.

For some reason, both of my internet browsers (Google Chrome and Internet Explorer) refuse to load any page in the Circle of Lemmings. I don't know why that is, and can only posit that they've gained sentience and banded together to preserve my brain cells. Sweet of them, innit?

~DawnFire

I think your computer is in self-defense mode. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 20:54:00 UTC Link to this

Your computer is trying to spare itself the agony of having to load the pages.

I think it's just assumed that Nick Fury makes a good mini regardless. That, or that one badfic I pointed out a few months back got sporked and wasn't recorded.

And could you imagine the Avengers making an OFU? That'd never work out, Thor can barely keep from smashing Tony as it is. There wouldn't be enough student-shaped paste to scrape off the walls.

That too. by DawnFire on 2013-03-01 22:24:00 UTC Link to this

Agony indeed. I'd be completely happy about it if there hadn't been a parody I wanted to read posted there (and linked on the Board).

Another strange thing my browsers do (just Google Chrome for this one) is to display a page with the title 'Internal Server Error', sometimes with the number 500 attached, whenever I try to get to the part of the Board that shows all the threads. It never works! I've tried clicking on 'Return to Messages', I've tried putting in the url, I've tried following a link from the wiki--no difference. Fortunately, Internet Explorer doesn't have that problem. And Google Chrome does show the messages themselves and the reply boxes, so that's all right.

Well, yes, I suppose he would. Although I am still getting used to people being minis--I'm used to mini-Balrogs and mini-Aragogs. Although now I'm picturing a miniature Nick Fury ordering around a group of mini-Balrogs...

Ok, now I kind of want to write that OFU. Well, almost. It would be extremely hectic, though. And I probably wouldn't be able to resist bringing Jim Kirk from the 2009 movie in for a visit, since I've thought it would be hilarious to see how he fits in with the group for quite some time now.

I'd probably need a co-writer, though--not sure I have enough time or attention span to keep it going on my own. I've also seen a lot of the fanon version recently, so someone who has more of a handle on the actual characters would be helpful in catching mistakes.

(Add Loki to the mix, and we've got students chasing illusions and running into walls and getting trapped in rooms. And can you imagine the stampeding? This isn't a fandom with just one or two attractive characters. No, this is a fandom where practically everyone is widely considered to be quite attractive. This could be disastrous.)

(...which would make it awesome. Oh no, I think I'm roping myself into actually writing this...or at least, into thinking about it...)

But hold on a minute, I actually remember there being a PPC'd fic! It dealt with Thor, Loki, and a half-frost-giant Sue. Now who did it, and why isn't it listed? I feel like Mittens and the RMC were involved...or not, apparently, it's not listed there. This is very strange. I can't find it anywhere, not even in my browsing history! Help? I remember it very clearly, but I don't remember the title or the agents...

Alright. I'm setting myself a limit here, SC, and you're my witness: I am not going to write an OFU for the Avengersverse unless I have a cowriter. Possibly two co-writers. To do otherwise would be bad, because it wouldn't be fair to the OFU and it wouldn't be fair to every single other writing project I have, and the OFU would end up being abandoned, most likely. So no writing an OFU without a co-writer. (And now I suppose we sign it and seal it. Or, we would, if this wasn't on the internet. But seriously, someone has to make me keep this promise. Even if it's just me. So this is here as a reminder, because my brain is trying to think up ideas for the OFU, and the last time this happened I ended up with six agents and over 50 pages of notes, rambling, brainstorming, and backstory. So, you see, this is a promise that I have to keep, before the inklings of ideas snowball.)

Although, let's put it out there--if someone wants to co-write an Avengers OFU with me, I'm game! (I think...)

And I really wish I could find that mission.

(Sorry for the rambling! I may have mentioned once, I'm the Queen of Babbling. And if I didn't, I probably should have.)

~DawnFire

FYI: by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-03 03:52:00 UTC Link to this

When you want Kirk to visit, let me know and I'll send him over from OFAS. :) I should probably watch Avengers - it's only the movie, right?

Also, forgot to mention: by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 10:25:00 UTC Link to this

Thor and George Kirk are played by the same actor. Yeah.

(And yes, that is a small part of why I want Jim to visit SBEI. But only a small part).

~DF

*bounces excitedly* by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 10:22:00 UTC Link to this

Awesome! Should be full of craziness. I'll be sure to let you know! (Craziness indeed. After the first planning session...well, let's just say, we're planning for quite a lot of guest stars. And hilarity. It's wonderful.)

Avengers is, technically, just the movie. However, most of the individual characters--that is, the superheroes--have their own movies leading up to this one, which is where they all come together. It is possible to watch The Avengers without having seen these other movies--I did it, for example--but there are occasional references to their backstories, which are in these movies:
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Thor
Captain America: The First Avenger
and, technically, The Incredible Hulk, but that's a different actor. It is briefly referenced, though.
Hawkeye and Black Widow unfortunately lack their own movies right now, but they do appear in Thor and Iron Man 2.

Of course, you don't have to watch these other movies; you can, I think, get quite a good sense of what's going on from The Avengers (and it's done by Joss Whedon, so it's pretty darn good). Of course, it may then inspire you to see the others...at least, that's what happened to me, although that tends to happen (see my experiences with: X-Men, Star Trek, probably Doctor Who as well...)

As for what to expect from The Avengers: It's an action film directed by Joss Whedon, so, uh...excitement and fighting and explosions. Quite showy, and very visually attractive (unless you hate fight scenes and/or explosions, of course). However, it's not only a movie about a team of superheroes fighting a villain to save the earth--it's also a movie about six people, some of them civilians, all of them with some sort of baggage, all trying to work together to save the world from a powerful and wily Asgardian with his own emotional baggage. In other words--character development. Quite a bit of it, actually. Also, uh, they don't really get along for a good deal of the movie. So expect tension and some funny jibes and--you guessed it--character development.

In other words, a pretty much perfect movie, in my opinion. Exciting, dramatic, and with actual, human (and not-so-human) characters who carry the movie with, well, their characters. Also, really great acting :) You may not know all the names, but the main six are Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johannson, and Mark Ruffalo, and the supporting cast includes Gwyneth Paltrow and Samuel Jackson (among many other amazing actors). So basically...you'll probably enjoy it, at the very least.

(And while all the movies together are the fandom, if you just want to get a general idea of what it's about, you can try just watching The Avengers. You just won't know a lot of backstory).

~DawnFire

Eenope. by World-Jumper on 2013-03-03 19:32:00 UTC Link to this

It's the movies. As in Iron Man one and two, Thor, Captain America, and THEN Avengers. They are the connected movieverse that may or may not coincide with the other Marvel movies. Have fun.

Ah, I understand. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-03-04 02:00:00 UTC Link to this

It's just that I only heard of the fandom after the newest movie.

If you wanna write an OFU for Avengers... by Karen on 2013-03-02 17:03:00 UTC Link to this

I'd be willing to co-write! :) If you have a gmail, we could keep in contact over that and share the documents on Drive?

Seriously? by DawnFire on 2013-03-02 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

That sounds great!

And look, I didn't even have to make a separate post!

Gmail it is! I know Drive from when it was Docs, so unless it's changed a lot, we shouldn't have any problems.

A word of warning, though (warning? I suppose it's a warning. Hm): there are probably going to be times when I'm extremely involved in other writing projects, or in schoolwork (although that one won't start up again until September). That's why I was thinking of advertising for two co-writers. So, if you don't mind dealing with my occasional absence/unavailability for more than a few minutes, that's awesome, and let's start writing! If you do mind, then we should probably find a third co-writer, and write the story so that my representative occasionally retreats into seclusion to write books and leaves the other two to pick up the slack (or something like that).

Alternatively, we can just start writing and see if it becomes an issue. If it does, we can get a third co-writer, and my in-fic representation can go into seclusion until I'm available again, and then all three can be there. Or something.

Either way, I am insane (for taking on another project, but it's ok), and this is exciting. Also, nice to meet you! I don't think we've ever really exchanged more than one or two words before. Were you the one who joined the PPC a while ago, and then recently returned, or have I got you confused with someone else? (The recent flood of newbies has unfortunately made it a little hard to keep track. On the other hand, yay newbies! I'm one myself, sort of).

~DawnFire

And thus begins a partnership... by Karen on 2013-03-03 03:28:00 UTC Link to this

Haha, Gmail it be! I did indeed join the PPC a while ago, fall away, and recently return, for which I feel bad - about the falling away, not the returning, that's awesome.

So! OFU! Since you came up with the idea, I'm going to assume you're in charge. I wouldn't mind writing right away - or at least, planning things right away, planning things out in advance is good - so why don't we start with that and see how getting a third writer goes? I've got an OFU of my own going, but my beta's got a lot on her plate, so it hasn't updated in forever...>.>...and I'd like to at least avoid the stumbles I've had there, with a lack of communication resulting in me being unable to get any writing done because we've been planning our chapters literally as we get to them. Do you want my personal gmail, or would you rather work via my secondary gmail, which is in my author insert name (the same name I'm using for the "Author" box here, incidentally).

Also, nice to meet you too! ^_^ Cookie?

*shakes your hand energetically* by DawnFire on 2013-03-03 12:37:00 UTC Link to this

The deal is struck! Er, that is--uh...

Gmail 'tis. Oh, good, I have your backstory recorded correctly in my memory--ok, can I start that sentence again? I think I've been working on fleshing out agents too much recently. Oh, good, I have your story straight (that's not as bad...). And returning is definitely awesome :) My own story, if you're curious, is that I discovered the PPC (and the OFUs, and the MSTs, and the lj groups--ok, you get the idea) about 4 or 5 years ago, but was only ever really involved in Deleterius, and that was just commenting (and, once drawing attention to a Suefic. Which I'm now planning on eventually PPCing. Funny how that goes...). Recently, in a fit of nostalgia, I looked up the Original Series and OFUM, reread them, and then noticed that the Board was still active, whereupon I gathered my courage and said hi, and it's snowballed from there.

I'minchargeofanOFU--ok, deep breaths. Alright. I'm in charge of an OFU. I can do that. I agree--we should probably start with planning things out (so that we have at least a general structure of who teaches what, what we're calling this OFU, where it is...that sort of thing), and start writing whenever something comes to mind. Or, alternatively, we can plan out chapters...or do both...well, we'll discuss this and figure out what works. But yes, let's start planning/writing and see if a) we end up feeling we need a third writer, and b) someone volunteers without us advertising.

Ooh, which OFU? This is good, you've got experience! Me, I've only read OFUs (and the wiki page on them). This is working out great! I'm so glad you returned to the PPC :) (even if my brain is starting to sing "Hello, Dolly" in my head now). And in that light, yes, we probably should have a general chapter outline, so that if one of us gets busy with RL the other can at least write a few scenes and later send them for approval. As to which gmail account--well, considering I prefer not to give out my personal gmail account to people who I don't know in RL, it would be a bit hypocritical of me to ask you for yours (unless you're more comfortable with that, in which case, that's your decision). And on that note, I'm dawnfire360@gmail.com, created just for this :D

Cookie! Yes, please. Wow, I like you already :) Swiss Bleepolate? Er, actually, Swiss chocolate? Unless you've been reading badfics recently, in which case, the first option is still open...

(But really, what are we going to call this? The most workable idea I've managed to come up with so far is OFUS--OFU of Superheroes, which is problematic when you consider how many other superheroes there are. Hm, NYOFU, maybe? Not sure. Any ideas?)

~DawnFire

*brings out more cookies* by Karen on 2013-03-03 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

I think we'll need them for the planning sessions to come XD

Let's start with the OFU I'm running. It's the Official Fanfiction University of Avatar: The Last Airbender, or OFUA:TLA for short, and I will not include a link, because the earlier chapters are crap and I'm working on rewriting them while my beta Caelum (a former PPCer) is busy. Maybe later. Or you might just google it and find it that way, eh.

Now, as for an OFU name, it's not a requirement that it have "OFU" in it. There's the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, IAHF, for one example. If you really want my input, we could just have a long talk over gmail chat sometime soon-ish?

By the way, I'll take the Swiss Bleepolate. I've been looking over the badfic I want to tackle for my first mission, and... *shivers*

As for actual planning, let's leave that for gmail, ne?

I shall email you post-haste!

*munches cookies* by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 10:15:00 UTC Link to this

That was a good planning session, don'tcha think? So many wonderful ideas, so many cookies eaten...Mellon-nin, I think this is the start of a hilarious partnership.

Ooh, fun. I can't say I know anything about A:TLA (beyond a name or two and a tiny bit of the general concept), but...it's possible I may google it anyway :)

True, true. And that's now been resolved, so no matter.

Oh, dear. *Hands over two large bars of Swiss Bleepolate* May the details soon be dulled from your memory. Also, my sympathies. I find it helps to note down charges and reactions while reading--it's somewhat cathartic, and also helps guage how mission-worthy the badfic is. (Unfortunately, there are one or two badfics where even that doesn't help--for me, there's a horrible Star Trek songfic. It has random crossovers, can't decide if it's AOS or TOS, and absolutely EVERYONE is painfully OOC. Especially Spock. In one chapter, well...there's a scene that would work perfectly if it was done on Glee. I swear, she wrote a scene with the Warblers and wrote in Star Trek names. There was even a bow-tie. Fortunately, I'm pretty sure I have yet to spot any OCs, but they may be there...Anyway, that one's making me run away screaming for goodfic. *shudders* It's awful. I'm also probably going to take it on at some point, because it actually works quite well to lead into something I want to do, and also because it really, really needs to be PPC'd. And, unless I'm much mistaken, it could make a pretty good mission--although, it would work better if the agents sent into it have been given it as a punishment. We'll see, I guess.)

Hurray for planning! I love what we have so far :) Can't wait to plan more!

~DawnFire

Hilarious partnership indeed! by Karen on 2013-03-04 16:21:00 UTC Link to this

o.O That Star Trek fic sounds horrendous.

Haha A:TLA is a really fun show. It's for kids, but a lot of older people have gotten into it to (apparently an astrologist sent the Creators a scientific paper on how he thinks outer space works in their world). I tried to preserve the natural humor of the series in my work, but I don't think I did so well...>.>...

Yes! Planning! I am checking my gmail!

:D by DawnFire on 2013-03-04 16:45:00 UTC Link to this

It is. I hated it. And then it brought in random Star Wars crossovers and I can't even. And it takes plots from other places for songs from those other places sometimes--like, there's a song from The Lion King 2, which I happen to like, only it's Vulcans and Uhura instead of lions and...Kiara, I think her name is? Simba's daughter. And--and they do Les Mis, with a TOS character singing Eponine's part. And I can't even. It's awful. It needs to go down. And, fortunately, it can serve the double purpose of being a hilarious mission (for the readers) and of giving me the plot device to inroduce some characters that I want to bring in (from a Star Trek fic I'm writing. Actually, from the Star Trek fic I'm writing, there's only the one.). Should be fun.

And, of course, there's another horrendous fic, but I don't want to get into another rant (even though I just read through two more chapters of it), so I won't go into it beyond LotR/Narnia, Elf!Ranger!Sue, Stupid!Actinglikeamoderndayhumanteenager!Legolas, and the assumption that medieval times=Middle-earth when it comes to Elves (and Rangers). It's annoying, stupid, and doesn't do good things for my happiness, but will make a splendid and most cathartic mission, so I'm willing to suffer through actually reading it.

One of the people who I follow on Tumblr once posted something about where each Bender's style of fighting was taken from. It was interesting. I can see why people like it (or at least, I can guess). Really? That's pretty cool! And I'm sure you did well :) And even if you didn't do as well as you could have--well, I'll ~~quote~~ paraphrase Huinesoron (actually, Agent Lou) at you, and say, you can always write it better.

:D More planning is a good thing. I just want to relax and watch a movie for a bit right now, but...a bit later?

Also, could you do me a quick favor and take a look at my permission request? Only if you want to, of course. I just really, really want to be able to submit it already--I think I've been working on it for...about three weeks now, if I've calculated that correctly. Yeesh. Well, at least I know I've spent a lot of time editing it...

~DF

Woah by Karen on 2013-03-04 18:32:00 UTC Link to this

That Star Trek fic...sounds horrendous. o.O How can you bear to take all that?!

Yes, the Bending styles are based on actual martial arts! Just don't ever watch the live-action movie-that-totally-never-happened-nope because M Night Shyamalan destroyed the wonder of the world. I could link you to some stuff I've found where people go through it and point out everything that's wrong (and bring up the fact that "bender" is a British slang term for homosexual, and Shyamalan just walked right into a perfect joke there when he explained how his "bending worked" XD). If you tumblr "Sifu Kisu" you can find the man who actually helped develop 'Bending!

I shall look into your Permission Piece.

Yup. by DawnFire on 2013-03-05 14:04:00 UTC Link to this

With a great deal of...uh...actually, I can't really bear it too well. Hence the who 'running away screaming for goodfic' thing. Mainly, I try to write down the atrocities, make jokes, and take it in relatively small doses (which I didn't really stick to last time).

Alright, I'll make a note of that *notes*. For the rest: cool! (And yes, I think I'd like those links, especially the one about Shyamalan's explanation. Sounds like fun).

Thanks for looking into it and for the flattery :) It's much appreciated. I also ended up writing more on it this morning (about a page's worth). It's technically an outtake, but it's one I had the idea for quite a while ago. (What is it? Well, a pair of PPC agents come in and fix everything, and are confused by Teresa's presence there. That's the general idea. In practice, it seems to be Agents Dawn and Edgar going in and snarking at it, although they haven't actually gotten that far into it yet...) So thanks for that :)

~DawnFire

* 'whole', not 'who'. *sigh* by DawnFire on 2013-03-05 14:05:00 UTC Link to this

I think I've got to go back to proofreading before I post, even if it does mean that sometimes my responses get delayed by several hours to a day. It's just not worth the typos.

~DF

I'll just sum this up to "I wanna write an OFU." by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 22:49:00 UTC Link to this

In which case, topic it so you can get your cho-writing help. I'm already caught up with OFUA as is, so I'm not available to assist.

(Damn it. I'da totally made an awesome teacher of Asgardian beings.)

Yeah, kinda. It sure didn't start out that way, though. by DawnFire on 2013-03-01 23:04:00 UTC Link to this

Then again, neither did writing missions, and I'm just finishing up my Permission Request for that. These things just happen sometimes...

Good idea. I think I'll advertise for two co-writers; that should keep it going if I get wrapped up in something else. (What am I getting myself into...?)

Well, you could guest-star. Be a temporary teacher, something like that...

Great. My brain is trying to figure things out. This is why nothing should be suggested to me. Ever. Although, it does tend to get interesting results.

I don't suppose you know anything about that one Avengers mission?

~DF

This mission? by the Irish Samurai on 2013-03-02 12:54:00 UTC Link to this

Looks like this might be the one you were talking about. It involves a half-frost-giant Sue, but doesn't seem to feature Mittens or the RMC.

There's also this other Avengers mission that you might like too.

I suppose that there may be more, but if so they are too well hidden for me to find at the moment.

Eek, you found it! by DawnFire on 2013-03-02 14:50:00 UTC Link to this

Although I'm pretty sure I read it archived somewhere else. Thanks so much.

Aaand...the minis for the Avengers fandom are indeed Mini Nick Furys. Fascinating.

Also, the other mission looks cool as well. Any idea which was written first? I want to add the mini to the wiki list, and it would be helpful to know which to put as the first appearance...

Ooh, one more question. How do you manage to put links on the Board with text that isn't the url? I can't figure it out.

~DF

Cool :) by the Irish Samurai on 2013-03-02 15:38:00 UTC Link to this

Looks like Meta's mission (the second one I listed) was written first.

Links, and other stuff, are handled by HTML tags - you just need to know the right ones to use. To make a text link use the following template:
Text You Want To Use

Just delete the two pound symbols, then type in the relevant bits and it should work (and remember that you can preview your post to see if it has worked correctly).

There are a bunch of HTML tutorials available online that can show you how to do a whole range of style/formattig type stuff, this is the one that I tend to use: http://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp

Sees, whenever anybody asks me about "That One" anything... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-02 00:39:00 UTC Link to this

Thee answer is typically no. I is incapable of specifics.

Ah, well. Thanks anyway :) (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-03-02 14:45:00 UTC Link to this

That's pretty freaking awesome. by hermione of vulcan on 2013-02-28 21:07:00 UTC Link to this

And I haven't even seen all of How To Train Your Dragon or any of Rise of the Guardians or Avengers. And all I could picture when Jack Frost was talking was Kirk from the 2009 Star Trek movie.
But still...awesome.

Well, I can pretty well sum up Avengers: by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 03:11:00 UTC Link to this

Testosterone, egotism, EVIL, archery skills to make Legolas cry (okay, slight exaggeration), snarky Stark (natch), going green, explosions out the Michael Bay, Asgardian badasses, and a SPECIAL REQUEST TO DROP THE F**CKING HAMMAR, courtesy of a Mr. Thor Odinson.

Also aliens from somewhere.

It makes very little sense without the proper context to go by, but WHY DO I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

[/nerdlove]

Somebody email Pixar, quick! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 15:42:00 UTC Link to this

This must occur!

DOO EET.

Or Dreamworks, whichever. (nm) by SpecstacularSC on 2013-02-28 15:43:00 UTC Link to this

And Disney! (nm) by Karen on 2013-02-28 18:02:00 UTC Link to this

I remember this! by Karen on 2013-02-28 14:39:00 UTC Link to this

I saw it on Tumblr recently! The RotG fandom is pretty awesome.

That's brilliant! by the Irish Samurai on 2013-02-28 12:42:00 UTC Link to this

I would definitely go see that film if it was made.

Thanks for sharing.

For those who know 40k (and those who don't) by Riese on 2013-02-28 19:21:00 UTC Link to this

I was trawling around the LexicanUm inbetween exams today, and found something that actually made me speechless for a second.

During an Ork attack on an Imperial Guard command post, the only people to stand against the Orks were a Sub-Overlord and his Ogryn bodyguard, Nork Deddog. The Orks leading the attack were a squad of Meganobz (really big, really mean Orks in Orky power armor with huge-ass guns and Power Klaws) led by Warboss Uglurk Gitsmasha (Warbosses are UNGODLY. They're routinely about 10-12 feet tall and can punt Space Marines around like soccer balls. The Warboss of the WAAAGH! is the Warboss because he is THE biggest, meanest, 'ardest Orkin the entire sector. These guys do NOT mess around).

So what do two squishy lil' 'umies do against a Warboss and his retinue? Usually, not much. Since Nork doesn't know what 'usually' means (being an Ogryn, he's not exactly a rocket scientist), he figured he'd have a go anyway.

So he headbutted the Warboss to death.

Yes, you read that right. He freaking headbutted a Warboss. to death.

the rest of the Orks were so awestruck they actually retreated rather than face Nork.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Imperial Guard: bringing the Emperor's Light to the darkest corners of the galaxy with nothing but glorified flashlights, paper-mache armor, and enough balls to make the Grey Knights lie down and cry like pansies.

A 40k-related question, if I may. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-01 17:58:00 UTC Link to this

(Because this is as good an opportunity as ever to do the tiny bit of research I need...)

Under optimal (ie, non-combat, clear skies) conditions, what is the largest class of Eldar warship which could easily land on a planet, or at least perform a very-close-range pickup (climbing ladders, not drop pods at 40,000 feet) from ground?

Additionally, if the answer is different, what is the largest Eldar warship which fits the above description and could make such a landing in a large real-world sports stadium?

hS

The answer is indeed very different. by Riese on 2013-03-01 18:50:00 UTC Link to this

Eldar ships jump from large bombers to Destroyers, without much in between. Warp-capable Eldarcraft aren't meant dor atmospheric flight. Realistically, the largest craft that could actually land is the 26-meter Vampire Raider assault shuttle.

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Vampire_Raider#.UTD3XRB5mSM

If you have any other 40k questions, I'd be happy to answer. by Riese on 2013-03-01 18:52:00 UTC Link to this

Out of curiosity, what is this for?

Actually, one more question... by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 19:17:00 UTC Link to this

... how would one get into a Vampire Raider?

Are we looking at a ramp from the undercarriage, a ladder up the side, Something Scientimagical (TM), what? Or has no-one ever bothered to decide?

hS

Yep, just your basic ramp. Or a ladder into the cockpit. (nm) by Riese on 2013-03-05 20:34:00 UTC Link to this

An answer... by the Irish Samurai on 2013-03-04 23:03:00 UTC Link to this

Looks like it's just a basic hatch/ramp at the rear of the craft: http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/Warhammer-40000/Eldar/ELDAR-VAMPIRE-RAIDER.html

I could tell you, but then I'd have to cliche. by Huinesoron on 2013-03-04 09:20:00 UTC Link to this

Unfortunately I was faced with two contradictory impulses: I needed to ask someone, since I couldn't find the answer myself, and I needed to not reveal a crucial plot twist in an upcoming story. The result is the question as you see it.

It's not a 40k story, though. It may lead to something with more 40k questions, but I'm not sure about that yet...

hS

Dude, that is bullsh*t awesome. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-03-01 03:04:00 UTC Link to this

TV Tropes has a trope for that, by the way:

It's called CHERRY TAPPING.

Okay, what fandom is this. (nm) by Karen on 2013-03-01 00:35:00 UTC Link to this

Warhammer 40K (nm) by firemagic on 2013-03-01 00:37:00 UTC Link to this

Yep. 40k is full of this stuff. Like Commissar Yarrick (nm) by Riese on 2013-03-01 02:13:00 UTC Link to this

And that's why the Imperial Guard is the best faction ever. (nm) by SeaTurtle on 2013-02-28 21:14:00 UTC Link to this

Reminds me of a scene in the 13th Detective Conan movie by Sergio Turbo on 2013-02-28 19:55:00 UTC Link to this

Apparently they were going for over-the-top there, as the bad guys this time were chasing poor Conan with a freaking attack helicopter

Conan's answer? To use his super-elastic suspenders to bunjee-jump down the skyscraper he was pinned on, and then use them to launch a broken lamp towards the helicopter, crippling its controls.

Yes, a seventeen-years-old high school student in the body of a seven-years-old kid shot down an attack helicopter with what is basically a glorified slingshot.

We have another guy who never is to meet Nanoha or Homura here. Mainly because Conan's actually the smart and knowledgeable one (he's called the "Sherlock Holmes of the 21st century")... so he's basically going to suggest them tactics to better use their already impressive arsenal.

Worse: by desdendelle on 2013-03-01 02:22:00 UTC Link to this

It seems that letting Conan meet Game Theory!Nanoha is a bad idea. In fact, letting Game Theory!Nanoha meet Homuhomu is a bad idea.

Blast by Riese on 2013-02-28 19:22:00 UTC Link to this

Forgive the sporadic capitalization, I'm on my iPad.