Jan 2013 Archive, part a

If it doesn't, it's just SPaG.
I mean, imagine all the minis Tumblr would spawn just for their collective disregard for capitalisation unless provoked...

I deal with minis quite often, considering I'm writing an OFU.
About capitalization: I think it only matters if the capitalization is important to the spelling. For example, there's a Star Trek: Voyager character named B'Elanna Torres. B'elanna is a mini, and so is b'elanna (and Belanna, for that matter). But torres is incorrect capitalization, not an actual misspelling. Also, something like DAta instead of Data is a mini.
Whether spells make minis: I'm not sure. For Trek I've been collecting misspellings of starships and gadgets and making them miniature versions of those things. So maybe spells would fall in a similar category, or have some entirely new property when misspelled or mis-capitalized (is that a word?). I think somebody suggested that the spells backfire, which is a good idea.
Hope this helps.

This might be my DS being a dumbass, but yor topic is reading out as just your username and the date to me.

Anybody else getting this, or...?

...if I remember correctly, fail entirely or backfire on the spellcaster.

What happens to cannon is entirely up to you of course, but I can see mispronounced spells wreaking havoc in the 'fic. It can also serve as a really ironic assassination technique...

...that it's mostly characters and places.

But maybe specific titles of spells could work as well.

There's actually one more story in the Chronicles of Zeyr series I forgot to mention.

Chronicles of Zeyr: 351st Vanguardian Expeditionary Squad, which takes place after Brynn's Chapter. Wild guess what THAT chapter entails.

The prologue is actually super-long, so that's all I could put down safely.

Anyhow, that's what to expect on my Livejournal.

*wanders in with a party hat on lopsidedly, carrying a half-empty bottle of cherry beer, and blowing on a noisemaker, before singing in a rather hammed-up Scots accent*

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?
Should all our fandoms be forgot for the sake of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my friends, for auld lang syne,
We'll make our wond'rous grey halls ring for the sake of auld lang syne!

In other words, Happy New year to everyone, and here's to a very good 2013!

(…ya know Worldie?)
Jumper, you're drunk. Go home. I'll take you.
(Wait... so... youre not drunk?)
Geez, stop dropping apostrophes, you're embarising yourself. And of corse I'm not drunk. I'm underage for one. Two, I can't drink, remember?
(Oh yeah, that metabol...ism..bism...thing you got. That's rough man... Say, It's midnight soon. We should-)
NO!

While I try to worm Jumper back into his library to sober up-
(You said I have my library?)
Yes, dimention and all. However, you have to gather most of the text yourself. Still, that is beside the point, because I am trying to wish these people a happy-
(I GOT MY LIBRARY! WOO HOOO!!!)
Jumper, please, I am trying to wish the PPC a happy new-
(Oh, hey, it's going to be midnight soon. Why don't we wish the PPC a happy new year!)
…Sure, because that's totally not what I was... you know what, forget the sarcasm. Let's do it.
(Yeah, I knew you would like it!)

Have a very happy new year, from World-Jumper (and Jumper!)

Have to type with my left hand, because am drinking a bit of cider with the right.

There we go.

My resolution this year? I have several, but I'll just post three:

1. Get a job.
2. Reconnect with my faith.
3. Try harder to find love (Lord knows simply strutting about looking pretty hasn't worked...)

May this year be filled with blessings and good fortune for everyone. Another sappy wish, and another sappy wish...

GO GET DRUNK, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, YA MOOKS?!

Not actually drunk, but cheers to you with the New Year Hangovers, early morning porcelin worship, and beer sh*ts!

And to you lucky jerks from Times Square, WHY DID YOU NOT INVITE ME, DAMMIT

Pass the bubbly bleepka, you guys.

I'm an hour and 37 minutes in as of writing this.

We're seventy seven minutes in! Yay!

I don't speak Spanish, I just felt like saying it in Spanish. What can I say, it's late at night--I'm in the same time zone as New York City.

I just watched the ball drop, and it was 10 pm in my time zone when you posted this. Happy New Year to you, too!

Though it's only 11:20 here. Or 10:20. I live on the line between time zones, so it's wonky.

But it's only 7:03 over here!

"RADAGAST ON A BUNNY SLED!" if you can :3

But in all seriousness, it might be something to email a mod or the Nameless Admin about.

The IRC terminated me, and I haven't been able to log on since. I connect to Shire, but only enough for it to search endlessly for my username.

So far as I know, there is no canon that is widely popular that doesn't have guns, bows, trebuchets or the like.

In the original series, ranged kills were the preferred method of Jay and Acacia.

Kill the Sue. Preferably with a canonical weapon (for example, a longsword in the Lord of the Rings as opposed to a blaster rifle).

"Do you need to change the actual fiction"

No, no, no, absolutely NO. That would be absolutely wrong, as it would become a direct offense. (and would require hacking, too)
After all, we mock bad writing ad offer advice for good writing. We don't destroy bad writing.

"Or do to hack a cardboard sue to bits, then compost it"
You can do that if you want (and feels also a good way to cope with some really awful fanfics), but it's not required.


Anyways, you seem to don't understand what the big deal is - PPC Missions are stories all in themselves - we basically write a story in which our Agents enter the badfic and fix stuff, dealing with all sorts of weirdness caused by the bad writing.

Sues are killed, but, well, methaphorically - our Agents, fictional characters themselves, kill them.

Are you asking how to remove a Sue from your own work, or what's that best way to kill a Sue in a PPC mission? If it's the first, I guess the best analogy is a surgical operation--remove the traits from the character that are Sue-y and re-mold the story around them. A good rule of thumb is that if the OC is the main character and the main characters from the continuum are in the story, the OC is probably a Sue. So what you'd have to is rework the story to make canon characters the focus. Or, conversely, make the fic a "lower decks" story, showing a different slice of life in the continuum. For example, Harry Potter focuses on Gryffindor house, so a story focusing on some OCs in Hufflepuff that only have brief contact with the Golden Trio wouldn't be Sue-y.
In a PPC mission, the way the agents kill the Sue is up to the author of the mission, but there is a format. The agents go into the fic, observe the Sue's transgressions as they watch the plot of the Suefic play out, then, when they have enough charges, they interrupt the narrative and charge and kill the Sue. They might simply use canonical weapons on her, or maybe they'll come up with something appropriate. For example, if the Sue survived a fall that she shouldn't have, the agents might drop her off a cliff.

Hope I've answered your question! Thanks for asking!

Permission denied. But don't sweat it. You're not the first to jump the gun, and you won't be the last. {= )

A few pieces of advice:

1) Waiting until you are confident enough to type without stammering and going "er" and "uh" every other sentence is a good idea. Exhibiting a lack of confidence in one's self does not inspire confidence from others. (Also, why go to all the trouble to deliberately type out a stammer? I don't get it.)

2) The Department of Floaters is becoming rather overused. Like, a lot. I'm not saying don't put your agent(s) there, but I AM encouraging you to shop around a bit and see if there isn't something with a narrower scope that still fits your sporking interests. If you're thinking about Floaters because you don't know what your interests are yet, waiting until you've gotten a handle on it is a good idea.

2.5) Read lots of different spin-offs to see what's been done before, what works, what doesn't, what you like, and what you don't.

3) There's nothing wrong with only writing one agent. A few exceptions aside, though, it IS expected that all agents should have a partner, so you might want to find someone to write with you if you don't want to come up with a second agent yourself. Co-writing is fun. {= )

~Neshomeh

Firstly, you've only just joined. As Specs said, you've got to be around for a bit before we give you free rein to write PPC things. It's nothing personal - we're just making sure you're on the level. Post on the Board, hang out in the IRC, make some friends. You'll be ready before you know it.

Secondly, your Agent intro needs work. It's painfully short, and doesn't really tell us anything except that your Agent had a mishap with some sort of wibbley wobbley, timey-wimey thing. I would suggest reading some older Permission requests, to give you a general idea of what we're looking for.

Finally, I would strongly suggest making another agent. Agents normally work in pairs, primarily because it's damned difficult to keep Missions interesting if there's nothing but one Agent bemoaning the horribleness of the fic, followed by a Sue dying painfully. If you can do it with just one Agent, and keep it funny and interesting, feel free to disregard this lat paragraph. If you're not sure that you can, I really do suggest you write up another.

If you need help with any of this, feel free to let me, or someone else, know. We won't bite, and can be quite helpful.

I would like to direct you to the Permission page of the PPC wiki.

The problem is, on the wiki, it is advised that you wait a few weeks to let people get to know you before you try for Permission.

If I'm correct, it's only been a few days. You joined the day before New Years Eve.

The other problem is, tge wiki also makes note that mission-writing isn't our whole deal. Like I said when you first joined, hanging out on the board makes you just as valued a member as mission writing. If you've only joined to write missions, it makes me think that you need more time to settle in and really honestly learn about the PPC. Hey, I'm still a rookie too. I can help you if you need it.

I'm no Permission-giver. But, they'll likely have a similar thought.

Relax; make some friends. Plug some writing work! Read missions, volunteer for group writes, make an MST! Save Permission for when you're truly comfortable and ready to go for it. We can wait, honest!

You remind me of me a month or two ago. Questions are loverly things, don't worry; I think the others like the chance to refresh their knowledge.

I would say run any potential agent by a beta reader/character tweaker or two - just to be safe. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how a character will be received when you're the only one guessing. I know when I created Gilbert and Fiona, it was in an IRC conversation with Riese, LilacLielac, and a few others all offering tips and pointers on everything from their names to their personality quirks! I image the same would work with any preexisting character; heck, it might even make a preexisting character stronger, in the sense that his or her personality and overall characterization are more believable to the typical reader.

Also, 'agent' doesn't always have to be capitalized; when it's a title (such as in Agent Bobby Flay or Agent Nina Tambourine, neither of which exist to my knowledge), then it should be capitalized because a title is a proper noun (it's the same reason you write 'Officer Hicks' rather than 'officer Hicks'; in this case, 'Officer' is the person's title, which is sort of like part of their name - at least, that's how I always remember it).

But when you're just referring to the job, or discussing creating a character with that job, then you just type 'agent' (sort of like how you write 'Ten officers arrived on scene' instead of 'Ten Officers arrived on scene'; in this case 'officers' is a regular noun, so it doesn't get capitalized.)

Hope this was helpful! :D

Oh, we all have probably like several hundreds of OCs between ourselves. It's perfectly fine if you want to go that route.

And to help allay your fears about being annoying? You're not - it's perfectly fine to have questions that need answering, or even just to be overly chatty like me.

But, one thing you need to know now: You should keep your topic count to two at max. I got a warning once for having four running threads. It's out of courtesy to other boarders with pressing issues of their own, and it keeps things tidy and manageable on the board.

If you REALLY need to post another question, don't feel too bad about hijacking a thread that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, or has already had its problems resolved. We do it all the time, and it's a lot easier than constantly making threads.

Just find a way to incorperate them into the ppc, and you're good.

Also, 17 OCs? Impressive. Made any villans?Those are my favorates to make. Afterall, a hero is only as good as his foil.
(...tin foil more like)
You wish they were tin foil!
(Would be a lot easyer on my part, yes.)

I was thinking of Hikari Touno, from Super Mobile Legend Dinagiga. He didn't even know who she was.

...Then again, Dinagiga is a /super/ obscure show that was canned after two episodes. Would that be considered cheating?

I tried various characters ranging from the obvious (while experimenting) to the relatively obscure, and it got them all.

+ Amy Pond (Doctor Who - knew it'd get this, just playing)
+ Haruhi Suzumiya (TMoHS - similar to the above)
+ Asuka Langley Soryu (Evangelion - a little more obscure)
+ Professor Nick Cutter (Primeval - okay, this one got to me, the questions it used to guess him seemed almost irrelevant. I guess that's the wonder of iterative refinement...)
+ Abby Sciuto (NCIS)
+ GLaDOS (Portal)
+ Admiral Parangosky (Halo novels)
+ Ezri Dax (ST: DS9 - to see if it'd distinguish between Jadzia and Ezri. Once it asked 'was your character murdered?', I knew it was on to me!)
+ Ilsa Pucci (Human Target - it went around in circles for ages, and I thought it wasn't going to guess right, but it did in the end.)

So far, the game has got:

*Navigator Presley (Mass Effect)
*James Raynor (StarCraft)
*Admiral Gerard DuGalle (StarCraft)
*Fleet Admiral Castor Dane (Metroid Prime)
*Metroid Prime (the eponymous villan of the trilogy)
*Samuel Vimes (Discworld)
*The Luggage (Discworld)

...right on the first try. I've managed to stump it once with Captain Kirrahe (Mass Effect) and Zeratul (StarCraft) but it got them right after asking a few more questions.

The best I did was with Alexei Stukov of StarCraft: the game needed three tries to get him right.

How is Scooby Doo inappropriate?

Which is sad, because it's a really cool concept.

It guessed Son Goku, Uchiha Sasuke, Varian Wrynn, Beka Cooper, Sweeney Todd (although that may have been a gimme), Lúthien Tinúviel, Jeanne d'Arc (probably another giveaway), Glorfindel (I need to stop using elves), Prophet Velen, Molly Weasley, and even my grandmother.

He didn't guess Chief Investigator Chris Jansen, although he came close a few times. He also couldn't guess Saraiyu or Dovasary Balitang from the Trickster duet, despite knowing both characters.

I... I love this game...

I spent a good hour on this, trying to figure out the most obscure characters to test this thing with. These were the results:
Harry Kim (Star Trek: Voyager)-Yep, they guessed it.
Legolas (Lord of the Rings)-I didn't expect to fool them on this one.
Kili (The Hobbit)-Darn, they guessed him right.
Mary Sue-They didn't guess Mary Sue! Someone should add it to the database.
Lindir (The Hobbit)-Lindir was a random hot elf in The Hobbit. It either guessed Legolas or Glorfindel.
Benedict Cumberbatch-Darn. I guess he's too famous.

It guessed Allen Walker from D.Gray-Man in two rounds and Mrs. Hudson from Sherlock in one. It couldn't guess Stephen Moffat though.

I stumped it with Naal'suul Val'Beldrobbaen from Drowtales, Ixpellia from Nanoha, and Carim Gracia (also Nanoha.)

Though, it's weird. It asked me if Ixpellia from Nanoha had red hair (yes) then asked if she had black hair. THen, it asked if she's a female (yes) then if she's a male!

I keep getting "I know who you are thinking of, but I believe this is not for children" on completely safe for work things, like Adam Savage and the main character of this really unknown duo of books, Green Angel and Green Witch. It also guessed Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler when I was thinking of Twoflower, so it was in the general vicinity (Same book series, but I'm not sure if the two have ever met), but not what I consider close.

Also, someone I know used to be on it, but I think they removed him again.

It guessed Captain Jack Harkness, Alice in Wonderland and Amaterasu from Okami. Guessed wrong on Wolf from 10th Kingdom and Bernard from Black Books. It didn't know Umrao Jaan.

It guessed Radagast the Brown (from LotR) and Naoe Kanetsugu correctly, but failed to find Jernau Morat Gurgeh (from The Player of Games), Kai Wren (from Lord Demon) and Sam from Lord of Light.

I was thinking of the Sunflower Official. Do I get a prize?

But dang, he's good. He guessed Sora, Arcade Gannon, Bloodwing, and Sorin Markov before I picked the SO. =

It even guessed background charicters right! So, in order as I did them:
The Doctor (I knew he would get it, I just wanted to see how he worked)
Twilight Sparkle (same as The Doctor)
Derpy (to see if he knew background charicters that were popular. He did.)
Octavia (my first true attempt to get him. It did not work.)

Try your luck if you want, he is realy, realy good. I knew quickly when he got me: there will be one question that completely reveils who he thinks it is, and you know he's got you beat. Fun to play though.

...Hey, you think Jay or Accadia would be in his databanks? I'm not sure if I know them well enough to try, but if someone else thinks they can try, why not throw it his way? If he does not, you can add questions to lead to your answer, so the PPC can invade the genie's lamp. So to speak.

I am assuming that all four of the user names with some variation on "simply it" are all you. If that is the case, I would like to point you at rule number 14 of the constitution which says, in short, "Pick a name and stick with it." It can get confusing for people trying to talk to you. Worse yet, confusion leads to annoyance, annoyance leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate, as we know, is the path to something or other. You know what I mean.

So, please, stick to one user name in the future.

-Phobos, going back to his hibernation

If I created a mini(Oxegen), can I keep it? If you misspell the name of a gas, who knows what creature could be spawned from it.

Ooh, a mini! Anyways, the Disc runs off Narrativium and million-to-on e chances. The reason is pretty much 'Don't think about it.'

Besides, THEY think that our spherical world is weird ( how do the people on the bottom not fall off?) so yeah.

But in Strada, an earlier Pratchett work also featuring a disc-shaped world, there's a teleportation mechanism teleporting water back on-world, IIRC.

This reminds me of a prompt some of us have done in the IRC, the Three Word Prompt. (Given three randomly chosen words from someone else, and a self-imposed time limit and/or word limit and/or no-limits-whatsoever, write something.)

It's fun! And I like the idea of throwing prompts up on the 'Board, it's a tradition I'd be happy to keep going.

Anyway, I wrote this, and I think I'll continue it tomorrow with the other ones. It's too good not to.

The waterfall sparkled as the orange sunset highlighted it with its calm glow. Dylan leaned agains the cliff face and watched the water cascade into the river below, and the setting sun's light making the gorgeous glow. He wished he had brought his camera. Then his eye was painlessly hit with a sliver of glass, and his entire view changed
The orange glowing waterfall looked brown and ugly. The plants lying around him were weedy and evil looking. Then something completely unexpected happened, as the now muggy air turned fresh and cold, and snowflakes started falling. Dylan looked into the distance and saw a sled carrying a pale girl with long blond hair towards him. She smiled,and Dylan forgot the beauty that had been the waterfall, the girlfriend he had loved, and his entire life. In an almost zombie state, he joined the beautiful girl on the sled.

So a gorgeous sunset over a sparkling waterfall and shirk who is the reincarnation of the Snow Queen.

It only ends in heart ache.

My prompts were Opossum, bon-bons, and consultation.

http://intelligentarborhead.tumblr.com/post/39630296695/prompt-drabble-thing

/hides under rock

I picked 'a gorgeous sunset over a sparkling waterfall' and came up with this sobfest. I give up.

I'll use these three prompts:

A sudden escape
A hectic conflict
A chance meeting

---

(Sudden escape)

Kraig Lescarr had stiffened without warning, and his eyes seemed to lock in one position. His stillness drew the attention of the eight other prisoners.

It was almost as though he was preparing for something.

And preparing he was, as an ear-ringer of an explosion blasted through the silent forest. The cart seemed to be ripped away into a firey oblivion at every angle, and the nine occupants were thrown in every direction, some slamming into trees; others, the ground.

As the heavily dazed and confused prisoners tried to recover their senses, a second explosion sounded off, and every manner of weapon spun through the air.

Seth Beldan looked up as his sword nearly impaled him at the neck, and stumbled back, only to be clobbered by his incoming shield, which then bounced heavily against his armor, thus rendering him momentarily breathless; not for long, however, as he sprang forth and grabbed his weapon, then slid his arm through the straps of his shield and ran as fast as he could.

Denestra looked and saw Seth run past, but was knocked back onto his face as a third explosion went off, sending a piece of a wheel through the air that slammed into the back of his head. He was frighteningly still.

Seth's heart nearly stopped as he watched the boy, young enough to be called his son, go down and stay there. But, as he shouted Denestra's name and made to turn around, his arm was wrentched by Juden Praes.

"No! Leave him! If he isn't moving, there's nothing we can do for him!" The ex-soldier then shouldered his massive sword and ran quickly after the retreating, broadsword-carrying form of Kraig Lescarr.

Seth found himself torn between running and staying back to try and drag Denestra, but was eventually forced to realize that Juden, sadly, was correct, and ran.

---

(hectic conflict)

Azin Realgia watched as the explosion within the gates triggered the guards, who opened the heavy portal and werenspeared immediately by arrows fired by Iris and Drake. Immediately, the mercenary charged in with sword drawn. The first soldier he saw found a sword through his back as Azin stabbed him from behind, then kicked him away in time to knock the knife out of the hands of his next foe - actually, he simply removed the man's hands altogether, but those were just details, right? Besides, by the time that argument could be made, he had already offed six more foes.

Drake and Ris seemed to have a problem with constantly being surrounded. Drake was trying as hard as he could not to use his secret alternative weapon, but he was running out of arrows, and the time it would take to draw his boot knife could be fatal. And it seemed that every man he killed was instantly replaced. On the other hand, Ris was very much abusing his powers to create doppelgangers as distractions so that he could snap necks from behind.

And as for Iris - well. Fate had finally decided that it remembered it hated her, and she was suddenly holding off twelve soldiers and three commanders on her own. For each one she damaged, another would try and swing, forcing her to dodge quickly, and then block the next combatant in the very same instant.

Iris didn't know her arms bent certain directions on their own.

---

(chance meeting)

Sinclair walked slowly towards the tree. He was certain the noise had come from there.

In the blink of an eye, he darted around the corner and found the barrel of a rifle in his gut.

The man behind it was nearly faceless under his large, wool hood save for his mouth, and it was relaxed, as though emotionless. Small wisps of red hair poked out as well, and appeared ragged - like they were thinning and falling out.

Sinclair's eyes went to the rifle barrel against his stomach, and slowly looked up to the cloaked arms that were holding it. He could faintly see a sword at the man's belt, and could only imagine what other unpleasant secrets this stranger had up his sleeves - more literally than figuratively.

The hooded man pushed Sinclair back with his rifle.

"Easy, mate," he nearly whispered, "You wouldn't want to do anything stupid."

---

So? Did I pass?

"Milady?" the dwarf asked, frosted beard dragging along the icy ground as he ventured near the throne. "The child is drawing closer."
The woman seated in the throne lurched up, raising one fine eyebrow and regarding the dwarf with clear blue eyes. "Which child?" she growled, voice like the howling wind of a snowstorm. Frissions of cold ran up and down the dwarf's spine and he resisted the urge to tremble.
"The... the human girl-child," he said.
The woman rose fluidly from her throne, drawing herself to her full height. Her dark skin and hair contrasted with her pale furred robes, which sparkled and tinkled like a million small icicles. Slowly, imperiously, she strode down the steps of the throne to the now quaking dwarf, a trail of frost following in her wake.
"You must stop her," she commanded in her icy, icy voice as one icicle-thin finger rested on his forehead, and the dwarf gulped and nodded.
"Yes ma'am," he said.
She smirked at him, almost wolf-like, and he could feel the beginnings of frostbite on his forehead from her touch.
"It'll be your heart next if you don't," she breathed.

...okay that wasn't brilliant. I just had Jadis going off in my head, and I liked the idea of a contrast between her skin tone and her clothing.
Also, it's not entirely related to Snow Queen, I suppose, given that I more or less skimmed the tale, but yeah.

Those are short stories or snippets based off of three prompts, such as (1) an umbrella (2) A washing machine (3) Christopher Robin.

Even if Hussie wasn't joking, it's sort of implied that Fruit Gushers are made from troll larvae. Probably the Fan Trolls before they had a chance to grow up. Given that, should we come across any Sue-Fan Trolls, we are free to murder them (and preferably turn them into Fruit Gushers) since they're breaking canon by still being alive. Also, Alternia blew up and Beforus was wipe out by the scratch, so all the Fan Trolls should have died anyway.

We can still kill the Sues which pretend to be the canon characters, yes? No need to be disappointed XD

Andrew Hussie rarely takes fan questions seriously, and it was a clearly sarcastic and joking answer. Of course all fantrolls aren't really canon (and even if they were, they should all be dead: cf the destruction of the universe and everything...)

There are still godawful Homestuck Sues out there. I don't see it as any kind of quarantining. But as a way of forcing PPC-ers to be clever and creative and run into probably hilarious problems?

I'm gearing up to write a Homestuck mission (eventually); we're not actually declaring Homestuck quarantine, are we?

If they're all canon and they all seduce Homestuck characters, could it conceivably end like the Sparklypoo House debacle?

You could post it here still asking for critique! And I'm sure one of us will be glad to give that to you and possibly sign on to beta read the rest of it.

That's basically it - you approach someone and ask if they can beta read something for you. Not very hard, really. :D

What's the fandom?

I wanna' try something. Play along, yeah?

---

SC whistled quietly as he rag-dried the mugs, glasses, kegs and mason jars of his tavern. His customers were of the wackier nature, and so he had to accommodate for such.

The night was mostly quiet, save for a few folks who had wandered in and started talking, disturbingly, about methods of killing people they found particularly... well, colorful.

SC tried to pay it no mind, but gradually began thinking back to his chance encounter with that strange assassin who had helped him destroy one of his particularly bad stories.

SC recalled it all as though it was yesterday - because it was; 10:30 A.M., to be exact.

---

"So, you came from some otherwordly abyss, to...?" SC asked, standing atop the ash pile that was once a fire-breathing Sue.

"I come to undo the sins of your mind," the assassin - SC decided to call him Derek - said.

"Ah. So, you're helping me dismantle this joint, then," SC said, adjusting his glasses. "So, who do you plan to hit?"

Derek pointed to his right.

SC locked eyes with Luna, the Time Controller.

---

Strangely, SC couldn't remember anything past that, but when he recovered, there were several very dead Luna clones.

SC looked up at the sound of feral screaming.

"Hey! Mind the mess! I'm not repairing any tables!" he called to the ladies at the table near the left side of the bar. From the looks of it, they might have had a few drinks of bleepka beforehand.

((Okay, not my best opener, but I don't know each of your characters, so you guys'll have to fill in my blanks for me.))

I dunno if this counts as an assassination, but my favorite moment so far has been Kilroy and Mike warping in aboard a stolen Retribution-class Battleship and blowing up an entire, several-hundred-square-mile island. Lots of OCs died that day.

Kill the Xeno. Burn the Heretic. Purge the Unclean. In The Emperor's name, let none survive!

When I sporked 'Replacement Dash causes me to loathe the color blue', I initially toyed with the idea of notifying Princess Celestia and having the veritable Sun Goddess burn everything to the cloud floor. However, after some reflection (and discussion with folks on the IRC), I decided this would be out-of-character for Celestia to do and scrapped the idea.

So instead, Agent!Caroline and Veralyn brawled with the replacement, Caroline dislocated one of its wings to ground it, and then it was sedated and tossed into the grinder.

Yeah, it was one of the more brutal assassinations, but both of my agents were unarmed and this was a grimdark badfic set in a canon about friendship and acceptance. And it was incredibly satisfying.

Well, I remember back in the day before I joined the PPC, I killed a Sue by having her get into a Suesicle and then shoved off Caradhras by the Fellowship.

And there are the suggestions that Consulting Sue Slayer puts out that range from a simple gunshot wound to dropping chandeliers on people to burning them on Bonfire Night so it'd look like an accident.

Also there was the one where Sherlock wanted to put the Sues in a Russian orphanage but John thought that'd be too cruel and unusual even for them.

Is that really a MLP fic? ..
Is just so dark with the mass murder an all that stuff ..
Ugh I need some bleeprin.

Kilroy's already volunteering to come along too, if you need him.

No, honestly, I don't know which is worse: the fact Aurora thought this was a good idea, or that so many people on Fim-fiction think it is also a grand idea. Kitty, this one is all on you. Have fun tackling this beast that refuses to die.

My gut reaction is to kill it while it is weak, but let's keep this under surveillance until she's good and finished. After all, while it is dark, it may well not be bad, per-se. If it has acceptable grammar and a better story, (HA! Like that would happen) then it should just be left for you to rage at.

(However, if it IS as bad as Rainbow Factory, then I would be happy to offer my services against this foul beast. A natural multiverse-traveler might help in explaining how the factory managed to return.)

I'm waiting for the second part now. You really pinned down the ShadowClan cats' personalities. I get rather annoyed with people's tendencies to turn them into B-movie villains instead of cats with their own personalities and (hostile) culture.

Dedicated Warriors agents should probably be carrying small digital voice recorders. One assumes that since the Warriors cats talk, they should be able to record their voices...? Or maybe, since cat language involves so much body language and not much noise, a video recorder would be needed?

What does Warriors do with cat romance, by the way? I know that in real life, cat romance simply doesn't exist--they just go into heat, mate, and go on with their lives; the closest cat relationship is the bond between friends, siblings, or mother and kitten. Does the series stay consistent with that, or do they add human-like pair bonding? Or do they just ignore it altogether? I've only read a few of the books, and kittens seem to just belong to their mothers, with fathers mostly out of the picture.

By the way, you have a typo in "...sent Sorrelpaw of to get Cherrystar..." There's an f missing in "off".

Minis! They sound so cute! Can I have one? Or two? Maybe Firestars and Longwisker? (Longwisker sounds like...a stretch limo with vertical silver stripes to me, by the way. Not sure why). I promise to love them and feed them and take very good care of them...

Also, I read the mission--well, the half you posted, anyway--and it looks good :) I mean, the mission part looks good. The story looks...wretched. Good luck wading through the rest! It was interesting to see how agents would have to deal with cat disguises, and Agent Caroline's entrance was pretty funny :)

And of course, although I never thought about it, it definitely makes sense that the minis for the Warriors verse would be cars...I mean, other than that, I guess they could have been badgers, but cars work a bit better, I think. They're very characteristic of the continuum--because badgers are just a different (and hostile) kind of animal, but cars are giant metal *things* that go roaring down the roads.../end ramble

1. If you're talking about the band, it's The Rasmus.
   
   2. The part where Sterlingtail and Fernpelt talk has parts bolded that sound like mission text.
   
   3. Was that one mini called Iceclan or Icelcan?
   
   Other than that, I liked the cat!agents and the sign language the used for the charge list. Also, the mission gave me a good grasp of how the 'verse works.

...So brownkit and Mousewisker are no longer eligible for adoption.

--OFFER MINIS TO ADOPT!

Can I has Mousewisker?

Welcome back!
Have some bleepolate ;D
You'll be needing it, there are some nasty fics out there D:

It seems that you delurked about the time I started lurking--this past summer, so we've never met. Hi! I also like Sherlock and I love your username. Let's see--I like to give people fandom-specific gifts, but I also give hats…ooh! Have a star patterned deerstalker!

It's nice to have you back around!

Nice to see you, even if you have been here before. I actualy DON'T remember you, but that is because I joined about a month ago, where you were more in the summer.

Well, I'm not sure if it is procedure to give welcome back gifts, but I'm going to. A whovian you say. Well I'll be, so am I. Here, have a flying fish. Don't worry about the lack of mystical fog, he'll still fly and live. Just make sure there are no sharks nearby, or else they may fly too.

Hi hello and welcome back! I'm sure someone did this the first time, but I remind you that you need to read the Constitution, and that the wiki and the Original Series are also recommended reads. Oh, and feel free to drop by the IRC channel anytime.
As a newbie (welcome-back?) gift, have this cup of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you. Or your pet(s).

I think you did join over last summer... Not really sure though.

Ah, new school issues :-( Those are never fun. Hope they've gotten fixed up.

So, welcome back! I can't remember what my newbie present to you was before, so have a pocket-dimension observatory! It's going to be hard for you to get all the way into one pocket, but once you do you'll find yourself in a giant observatory with a telescope you can orient for the skies of various continua.

Oh yes, people do de-lurk posts all the time - especially in the last month or two!

Not sure if you were around when I joined up, but if not, I'm KittyNoodles! Pleasure to meet you! -enthusiastic handshake-

Also, don't be worried about annoying people with posts - as long as you don't make a dozen threads all to yourself, no one minds if you're a chatterbug! Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's preferred! :D

Since my memory lags all the time... in case I have seen you - welcome back! In case I have not - hello there, dearie! *handshake followed by an overly enthusiastic glomphug*

Your list of fandoms is quite... impressive. ^^ *searches for a nice fandomian welcome gift* Here, have a Suvian Sonic Screwdiver. Looks like a normal one, but makes everything sparkle and glitter.

Here, have some canon cookies!:D

I'm relatively new, I've never seen you before. But after scrolling through that long list of fandoms you sent World-Jumper, I find that we have Sherlock, Percy Jackson, and Harry Potter in common. Let's see, fandom specific gift--How about a puffskein?

Ah, I was wondering if you were new when I saw you on the IRC! Welcome! :D

THE PENALTY IS EGGING.

This is the second time! ARGH! Anyway, welcome back. For the sake of those who are new, like me, and do not remember the likes of you, what are your fandoms? I give fandom-spesific gifts, and since this would be a return gift, I still want it to be personalised for you.

And now I'm stuck with the Italian opening theme of the cartoon playing in my mind.

And I'm enjoying every single second of it.

Now I am going through all these shows I watched as a little guy. Blues Clues, which my mother loves still. Steve taught so much while having fun. Cyberchase, which if you remove most of the blatent 'we are teaching math!' elements, is still a good show. Magic School Bus, my first science teacher, and arguably the best. Bear in the Big Blue House, from which I named my ever-disapearing dog Shadow, because of, well, Shadow. Others, slowly coming back. Man, good times as a little Jumper.

Then again, I would also stick around to catch House of Mouse, which was arguably the best thing the Disney Channel ever did. I watched a lot of cartoons as a kid.

But recently, I found an old disk case from when I was a kid. Pajama Sam, Spy Fox, and Put Put, all from Humongous. Carmen Sandiago, for whom I wrote my first, unknowing, fanfic. No, I do not have it, but I was about seven or eight when I wrote it, so there you go. Do you guys remember these games? How about other computer games from your nerdy youth?

I didn't watch it that often, though. I did watch Cyberspace, I remember. Anyone else see that?

Last episode I saw, Hacker had just taken over the giant computer and deleted Motherboard. I didn't see anything after that.

I didn't have cable growing up, so I would always catch this show at my grandma's house or something, and I loved it! It was this show and PB&J Otter. Holy mrfle did I love PB&J Otter.

There wasn't that show when I was little :/
In fact I've never heard of it before ._.
Oh well~

I always loved Zoombafoo more, though.

Kitty and I watched this during snack time as little kids when we would spend our after-school time at Grandma and Grandpa's house!

My feels have been nostalgia punched SO HARD.

Beta readers are supposed to check your work before you publish it, but you already posted it.

We had quite of a big discussion about it some months ago, but don't worry - we don't hold grudges and some of us will be happy to help you with the betaing anyways.

(Not me, unfortunately - I know jack squat about those canons, so I can't help much)

Although, considering he's an aspect of you, I should probably have known better.

Welcome Back, and I hope to work with you in the future. Here, have a Generic Sword and a wish of good luck for you.

Welcome back. My oh my, all these folks coming back. Do you think it is a sign of the worst fanfic we have ever faced? One that makes C*l*eb*ian and That Seres seem tame? Nah... I hope....

Anyway, sorry to scare yall like that. So you're irish? I must admit, I love irish culture and their people.
(Me too. Howdy, name's Jumper, I'm a multi-dimensional traveler. Say, World-Jumper, bet you five bits he's not irish.)
Bet you ten credits he is!
(You're on!)

Hi~ -huggles-

(Okay, that was terrible of me. I'm sorry.)

So, I've returned, you've returned, another guy returned, several people have come out of lurking...

And we've been nostalgia-punching our feels. Feel free to join in!

Dang. That sample... I really liked the whiplash between super-serious-dark world, and the PPC.

Is that an original world?

I really liked the sample, what with describing the 'verse's story like that, and getting that tone down.

You deserve permission.

*pours out a cage of conga rats in the thread*

That was a very impressive sample, Duo! I don't know the canon, so I'll have to give you the "unless-someone-who-knows-it-contradicts-this" clause. But just reading it at a surface level, your syntax is good, your hold on the English language is very good - your style flows well. The only thing that threw me off was the present tense - it was a little distracting form the narrative, at times. But otherwise, it was quite good. I like your agents as well - it'll be interesting to see Johnny, who reacts strangely to alien-ish life forms, deal with not only the PPC, but an Equestrian partner (I assume they're going to be partners?).

Anyway, in case this is too ambiguous thus far, permission granted!

But I like your agents and your Permission piece. Good luck, Duo!

How long since 2011 are we talking here?

(FYI, not a permission giver. Just asking because it's better to have full detail coverage, especially for permission.)

I don't know much about the continuum, so I can't really help there. Your agents seem good, though I'm kinda confused by Burning Heart. The fact that, as an adult, he's a blank flank seems weird - most adults do have them. You'd think that, by the time he leaves home, he'd have found something he's good at and realized it. Plus, the whole cutie mark thing is a big part of Equestrian society - an adult without one, even a young one, would be seen of as weird, and he'd likely have some self-confidence issues about it.

Greetings fellow troper, may I ask what your fandoms are? That way I might give you an appropriate gift. Failing that, jelly-baby?

Welcome a-Board newbie! This is probably a belated welcome by the time I'm posting this, but time is just an invention of humans to make us freak out about deadlines. This is also the reason I'm putting off my history homework to say hi to you. So hi! Have a cupcake!

Hellooooo ickle newbie! Have some lemming repellent!

Welcome to the PPC! I hope you have fun. I'm sure you will, actually, because you thought we were funny. Since you appreciate our sense of humor, your newbie gift is some more recommended reading: the Official Fanfiction Universities. They are affiliated with the PPC and have a similar style and craziness level. The idea is exactly what it sounds like--a school for fanfiction writers, where they learn to write good fanfiction from their favorite canon characters.
The Lord of the Rings one is here and the Sherlock one is here.
Enjoy!

Welcome to the craziness of the board!
Throw your sanity through the window!
PARTY TIME.

Lol, anyways, your gift is a lightsaver; may you kill many Sues with it :D

Welcome to the PPC fellow SuperWhoAvengersRingLockian! That may not be an actual word, but if it isn't I have just made it one. Since you came from the direction of TV Tropes, I shall gift to you a Nice Hat! It's default shape is a fedora, but it will change shape and color depending on your preferences. Hope you enjoy your stay!

Good to see you here! TV Tropes is certainly awesome... and addicting. :)

Here, have a bag of muffins. Be careful when eating them, though, they probably try to eat you as well. Just some experimental stuff, but tastes excellent nonetheless.

Have some lembas. Perfect for those days when the Sue can fly and you're left staring into the mines of Moria as the Fellowship flap their way to Mordor.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Now 13% less flammable!

I'm relatively new, but I'm going to welcome you to the party anyway.

Here's... Wait...

...

...

...

Here, have a sandwitch. It's a witch. Made of sand. And it's edible. Probably. I didn't check.

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Another Troper :) . Hi, have some fudge!

I came here through TVTropes, too.

Have a plushie colonist/locust/earth spirit from Drowtales!

You like laughing? Have you read some missions (mostly TOS)? If not, go and do that, and have some awesome-laced cookies for the way.

Welcome to the Board, Ostlusha (er... Shailey might be easier for me to remember how to spell. You don't mind if I call you that instead, do you?)

Anyway, welcome! Here, have some Bleepnerds and bleepolate! ...Trust me, you'll need them.

What fandoms are you into, if I might ask?

Don't wory, we won't make you walk the plank.
(…what does that have to do with anything?)
You know, board, plank. It's a pun!
(…If I were not concerned that killing you would subsequently kill me, you would be so dead. Oh, hi, my name is Jumper, I'm this bloke's OC. Here, while I try to find Rat from Pearls Before Swine, why don't you tell me your fandoms/works you are fond of. Since I am a multiverse traveler, I like to give fandom related gifts. So, tell us what you like, and I'll see what I can whip up.)

On a side note, how did you find the ppc on TV Tropes? I found it on Protecters of the Multiverse, so I like to see what wiki-walk lead others to this pit of insanity. Wait, did he say pearls before... Gotta go!

Greetings new friend! Have a Soundtrack of Life! While it plays, it provides appropriate background music for whatever you happen to be doing.

Goodness, you laughed that hard merely at the wiki? Wait until you read the actual stories! :D

Hello and welcome to the Protectors of the Plot Continuum board. Hope you enjoy your stay!