Oct 2012 Archive, part b

I should've asked before. {= P Anyway, I've got the thing up in a Gdoc right now, but I know I personally prefer Word for the "Track Changes" feature, so I can e-mail the file to you if you like. Or I guess you could download it from Gdocs. Whichever.

Either way, Kitty, I'll need your address. {= )

Thanks, guys!

~Neshomeh

My LotR knowledge isn't brilliant, I mostly only know movieverse now as it's been too long since I've read the books. But I have had quite a lot of practice at checking for continuity, as I often end up going back over and re-writing multiple sections in my own work.

My e-mail is samurai_ireland@hotmail.com

I may be able to catch what Kitty might miss, provided that happens at all.

I feel pretty comfortable with the Lord of the Rings canon, and I like going through things to find mistakes. Not that I'm the best beta in the world - I'll probably miss something someone else would catch - but I'm willing to give it a go.

I really loved your piece. Like TO said, it takes the "modern girl in a magical land" trope, which is usually badly done and does it well, presenting real problems, like a magic based society being freaked out by flashlights. I love how at the end Val has no idea what just happened; that's pretty much how I would react if I were given a magical sword and made king of a land I wasn't even born in.

Aside from what Nesh said about the beginning being a bit too in medias res, yeah. I liked it, especially the end.

Everything about this application is incredible, especially the permission piece. I can't even find words to verbalise how deeply I adore this.

Seeing all the rave reviews, I had to take a look, and I concur most heartily! My only "complaint" is that it feels like we've picked up in the middle, and I'd love to read the beginning. 'Course I want to read the rest, too, but I'm very curious to see how Val found herself in another world and became friends with Eleanor and started on this quest in the first place.

I approve of that second name, by the way, even if it is a little surreal seeing it refer to someone else. I have a rather personal attachment to it. ^_~

There were one or two lines that gave me pause, though:

- "She squinted at the pages before her, then scowled at the dim red balls of light floating at various points between the shelves and the black clouds visible through the high windows."

I think you mean she scowled at the balls of light between the shelves and then scowled at the clouds outside, but it took some work to get there for me. The construction "between the shelves and the black clouds" could put the floating balls somewhere between the library and the sky—not terribly useful for the people trying to read. {= )

- "'And what would be the reason for their discomfort?' Eleanor asked absently, continuing to scan the pages and on the right-hand one."

Not sure where you were going with the description from "continuing." Maybe "continuing to scan the right-hand page"?

- The dialogue between "There is a seat on this side as well, Valerie" and "That does not look natural."

There seem to be two conversations happening in parallel here, one about behavior and the other about the lake. This happens a lot in writing, but isn't how people usually talk—there isn't enough time. Given a choice of topics, a person will respond to the thing they feel is most pressing, and the other person responds to that, etc. Here, you could easily have them banter about each other's behavior for a few lines and then bring it back to the lake when Val leans over the book to see the illustrations.

That's all I caught. I loved the descriptions of the weather once they got to the lake. I could really imagine how heavy and cold the rain is, and hear it crashing down, muffling the girls' words and making them shout.

Also... heh. "Royally screwed." I do believe that is a pune, or play-on-words. *g*

~Neshomeh

I love it. I'm a sucker for world-traveling setups, and the part with Val picking up the sword was priceless. (Seriously, the first thing you should not do if you get world-travelled is to start collecting artifacts...)

Your writing piece was wonderful, especially how you pulled off the "Modern girl in magical land" trope that so many murder. This is something I would want to read more of.

That is a seriously awesome writing sample! Great work, Lielac, and congratulations!

"Whoever Taketh This Sword..." was quite good... I want to see more of it. And by 'it', I mean both the story and your writing.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.

I look forward to reading your missions.

Great job, Li! Congratulations!

I really liked Whosoever Taketh This Sword. I want to read more of that now.

And I quite liked Hell Sings. I can't wait to see more of your missions.


By the way, have a celebratory geode!

Your agents seem to have quite a bit of promise; I love the contrast between Tanya's attempting to be utterly cool in the face of everything and Magdalen's habit of "talking with her whole body". I did wonder why you gave them both the habit of assigning nicknames to people, but it's not actually an issue as such.

Your writing style is clear, flows well and is quite engaging. I loved your characterisation and the whole context of the piece - it's not often I see a modern-day-girl-in-sword-and-sorcery-world situation done well. I giggled quite a few times during it; the conversations between Eleanor and Valerie were wonderful, especially the discussion on appropriate lighting and the culture clash inherent in it. The final twist was also hilarious, and I cracked up completely. XD

In other words, I gladly grant you Permission. Go forth and PPC, brave writer. :D

- Cassie. wearing her snazzy PG Hat

I know from working on 'The Most Stab-Inducing Love' with you and reading 'Hell Sings' that you have two very cool agents. Hopefully they'll get to solo so we can see how their relationship will evolve!

Curses, that I can read exactly neither of those pages due to my Walking Techbane status.

(Translation: hurdur, Verizon gave me the finger. The pages are blocked on my phone. Again: curses!)

Thankfully, I am incapable of fully witnessing the horror, but...

Just.

How do suethors survive? Especially in groups? Are... Are they like some kind of mutant amoeba-beast-entity with hivemind-like powers over Mary Sue virus cells?

Surely, there is no logical way that a teenage human being could do this... Right? Guys?

I just...
Get a load of this one:
Watson and Mary have broken off their engagement, much to Holmes' delight. Now he can find Watson a woman that he approves of, but could he find the perfect match in his own cousin, Abigail Newton? Watson/OC
-insert sobbing gif here-

Im'ma lose it.

'My Little Unicorn' almost reads like a troll!fic. A troll!fic with decent spelling and grammar, sure, but a troll!fic (or perhaps a parody) nonetheless. And 'Unicornicopia' makes me giggle in an unhealthy way...

Welp, I have some fics to report.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3828663/1/Unison_Mage
Set a year after StrikerS. A legacy of ancient Belka left behind, how will section six deal with the new relic and its powers even as mysterious people attempt to attain its powers? Fate centric. Please Read and Review.

Well, it's annoying, but not really terrible. This'd probably make a good training mission for someone. Fate somehow releases a Gary Stu who is a Belkan knight, but doesn't use a device, and has ice magic. Oh, and his name's Poke. To get a sense of what's up with this, have a quote or two:
"Fate, are you sure a six year old kid is suppose to be in this battle?" Questioned Vita.
"Are you taking about yourself Vita." Joked Nanoha as she walked into the clearing with a grinning Vivio in her arms.

Yes, just let the kid with unknown magic and origins who's attacked a teammate in the past train with you! There's no possible way for this to end badly. Also, Nanoha, you are perfectly aware that Vita is far older than you are, and she looks like she's eight, not six, anyways.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8177653/1/The-Avatar-and-the-Mockingjay
"You have no idea what I've been through!" Korra yelled. Katniss couldn't help but give her a smug grin and laugh. "Oh, I know exactly what you've been through,"

Short, but ever so stupid. We just start off with Katniss and Korra yelling at each other. We never get any explanation other than apparently Amon is running Hunger Games now. Seriously, that's it. Then, apparently Korra is a brat for being angry that Katniss is acting like she's a six-year-old. Then Katniss chi-blocks her. No, I'm not kidding.

"Oh, I know exactly what you've been through," She smirked, "living on a safe compound your whole life, free to practice your 'bending', then you get to live in the city for free with a loving family and mentor, be a pro bending hero - and I should feel sorry for you? Everyone on your team deserves the posistion you're in more than you do - even that priss Asami." Korra stared at her wordlessly, feeling the anger bubble within her. She cursed the fact there wasn't a full moon so she could just bloodbend this girl to the next district. Katniss walked to her, until they were toe to toe.
"How dare you call yourself the savior of your people," She growled. That was Korra's breaking point. She let out a breath of fire that Katniss narrowly avoided. The girls went at it, Katniss continuing to narrowly avoid Korra's bending moves until Katniss got a hold of her hands. She used a chi blocking move she had been taught earlier, rendering Korra defenseless. Korra lied on her stomach, Katniss straddling her back. She leaned down close to her ear, just so she could hear her.
"How do you expect to save your people, your benders, when you can't even defend yourself from me?" Katniss stormed out of the room. Korra was able to pull herself up after a moment. While her muscles ached from the jabs Katniss had dealt to her, what hurt more was that she knew she was right - she had failed as the Avatar.

Gorram it, Katniss.

And that's not even the worst thing. Not by a long shot. By the same Suethor:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8145681/1/A-Teenage-Girls-Guide-to-Sex-Slavery
"When it happened to me, I did not believe it. I have heard of it happening it to other girls. Girls who are taken and shipped off to far away lands. But it seemed like such a distant problem." Alternate story posted as Ch 2, takes place post episode 8

Korra and Asami are kidnapped into sex slavery and raped. Gods below, I am not making ANY of this up. This disgusts me. And you know what? It's. Rated. T. Also, the entire second chapter is just a copy of the first one.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7469993/1/War_Bad_Blood_and_Betrayal
Ben and his friends are now retired. The Plumbers now focus on peace-keeping operations and training new recruits, but when TSAB ships begins attacking one of the largest Plumber bases on Earth, war became inevitable. Who shall succeed?
So! The TSAB decides that its whole, let civilizations develop, protect worlds from the threat of magitech weapons, and keep the peace is for losers. They just start an all-out invasion of Earth because it's Monday and they're bored. Seriously, this fic has no freaking idea how the TSAB works. At all. And, while we're on the subject of complete misrepresentation of a peaceful organization...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6966278/1/TSAB-DOWNFALL-Halo-War
The TSAB has changed for the worse, the Ace of Aces tries to defeat them but fails. Now she has been changed by this, physically and mentally, and knows that she will need help in the battle, luckily she finds a dimension that has what she needs.
This thing. Screw this thing. This thing, I think, might be the Rainbow Factory of Nanoha fanfiction. Let's look at some character in Nanoha, shall we?
First off: Fate Testarossa Harlaown. She is one the kindest women in the series. She is gentle, and patient, and modest. She specifically works with cases involving children, because as a child she was abused and was part of a magical experiment, and so she is often the only one able to talk down kids who would, say, electrify anyone who came near them. In StrikerS, she adopts a little girl named Vivio, and--here, I'm gonna give you a clip (warning: Fate, the blond woman, is in her underwear)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHywA1KsYlU
In this fic, she tortures a woman, tortures her friend, in front of that little girl. Violently and for a long period of time. Anyone see the problem there?

Let's look at a different character: Takamachi Nanoha herself. She's one of the most moral characters I've ever had the pleasure of watching. She is kind, but she will still beat the friendship into you if you are hurting people. There's a moment in the first season of Nanoha that I think pretty much encapsulates her character: She's fighting Vita, who, the last time they met, beat her into the ground. Before they even start fighting, she asks Vita what her name is, introduces herself, and asks why Vita is doing what she's doing. She says that, if Vita has a good reason, she's help her with what she's doing.

In this fic, she kills people. She kills soldiers, she kills commanders, she even helps launch a bombing on a city. And you know what? She doesn't kill Fate. She walks in on Fate torturing Schach, in front of her daughter, and just KO's her. Here's a quote:
What worried them was that she appeared to be ready to kill her former comrades, who currently formed the Elite core of the TSAB's forces.
She responded by saying:
"If we do fight, I will hurt them but not kill them, I will just make it so they can't fight anymore, as for the enforcers, if they try to kill me ….
… I WILL kill them."
That's right. She'll let torturers go free, because they're her friends, but will only kill soldiers because she doesn't know their names. And the story just acts like this is a perfectly moral thing to do.

And you know what? This story has no idea--it's even worse than that Ben 10 one in terms of knowledge. The TSAB is apparently overthrown in a coup, but the new leaders don't lose control of any of the planets, and no one--not Lindy, not Hayate, not Chrono, ever decide to leave the TSAB to help Nanoha. The TSAB releases Jail Scaglietti--one of those 'Elite Core' people is a girl named Ginga Nakajima. Scaglietti BRAINWASHED her in StrikerS and made her almost kill her sister. Guess she forgot about that.

MILKSHAKE by Konata101
America demonstrates a very special talent of his to Japan and England. UK/Japan/US, HARDCORE YAOI LEMON, and erotic Male Lactation. READ AND REVIEW, OR ELSE.

MEIN EYESSSSSSSS. I JUST. I CAN'T.
Well, there goes my quiet evening with sushi and miso soup.

Dimension Witch... I'm straining to think of the right fandom now. If it's Witch World, I may shoot something.

People. The objects of verbs are important.

But I'll still have a poke for Artemis Fowl canonicitity and flow, if you like.

No SPaG for me, but I can do all of the rest.

I have a decent knowledge of Doctor Who (especially of the Ten Doctor, my favourite so far) and complete knowledge of Artemis Fowl up to Atlantis Complex.

Email at stginelli snaillikethingy gmail point com

Knowledge of Doctor Who (nearly all New and some Classic) and Artemis Fowl (up to Time Paradox) and I'm sure I can help with the technical details.
E-mail is singingthethunder1@gmail.com

Wait, when was this written? I have not yet seen the newest season of DW, so if this mission has spoilers for that, then I can't beta. But if it doesn't, then sure! You have my email, right?

They were doing okay until the spirit people and the priest not being, at the very least, concerned about the family. (What with caucasian babies' eyes darkening as they head towards toddlerhood, and eyes with blue pigment and a lot of red blood vessels in the back appearing slightly violet. [Really more of a blue-violet, which is far more blue than most people seem to realize: that's the art-major in me talking, though.])Clearly the original suethor was clever, but shouldn't the spirits thing have clued people in? (Or the inclusion of women who never menstruate being normally fertile, or the "silver-like-purple..." Why am I now attempting to apply logic to this?)

I can't say I've seen any of us encounter an Alexandria's Genesis Sue. But!

I have actually looked this over, before though. Out of character/world, I mean.

Honestly, I'd place this in one of two catagories.

In the case of a character's being forced OOC (bodywise), I'd place it as possession by Author's Wraith. Just an exorcism and you're fine.

In the case of original characters, it's more, like you said, a mutation. The trick is being able to distinguish between. I'm actually working on a mission outline that explores that. A sort of... 'Mary Sue' rehabilitation. A disease can be possibly cured. But genetics... that's a bit harder. That would need continual therapy to prevent the effects from failing and the former Sue coming to light.

These are just my thoughts, though. I'm working something in along these lines for the NaNoWriMo coming up- I'm going to try and put out as many Missions as possible. If anyone else has any headcanons, maybe post to here?

Since that's what she seems to be calling it.

Although, if an entire RACE had it (like, alien race...not ethnicity, because that's silly), and it was a commonplace thing with them...that might be a pretty neat little background detail. I mean, tweak a few of the sillier things about it (like the Sue-descriptions, the immune system's over-performance, and the lack of monthlies in women), and you could have a neat humanoid race going. Then you create a culture and give some characters a conflict to resolve...

My hands are trying to drag me to my Internet-less computer to start typing. Help meee~

I have a character with the mutation named Eli Goodwinter.

He's part of a group of four known as "The RPG Bros."

Really, the only bit that exists in him is the purple eyes.

And I once saw a guy in real life with purple eyes.

Outside of that, I have never heard of it until now, and will work at turning this suvian trait to my advantage when writing, because there are so many ways I can make it sound really damn cool, and I want to try.

So, thanks for giving me the name of the mutation!

As of today, I am now an active member of NaNoWriMo again.

If anybody wishes to find me, my user handle is SpecstacularSC, and I have posted a full except of my story to be read at one's leisure.

Enjoy, and see you in ten days!

This will be my fourth year of NaNoWriMo-ing. I haven't lost yet, and I don't intend to this year, either!

Although I'm still working on finishing my novel from last year. I want to get that story done before starting a new one.

I also have no idea what this year's is going to be about, but, hey, that's never stopped me before!

I always got to 50k, but it was 50k words of crap so...
Anyway. I dunno if I'll have the time, but I still get in a huge-ass writing project every year (just not in one month and not in November). So yup.

Good luck to all of you marathon writers!

I've been doing NaNoWriMo since 2006, and I've never actually managed to finish yet. This year, I'm taking four classes, working part-full-ish time, and writing for the school newspaper.

...But I refuse to cede the game! I'm almost done with a shortish story that came along, about a courier and an emperor, and I think the emperor's backstory might make a good NaNo - I don't know what happened at all, so there's no plot yet besides a Vizier who's not evil, several Council members who are... ambitious, and at least one civil war.

I'll probably make it to halfway through the year and then explode. They'll find a puddle of words and a herd of scattering plot-bunnies in the middle of the campus one day, and that'll be the end of it.

Until then, though, We NaNoers, who are about to write, salute you!

Whoooo, here we go again. I only discovered the madness that is NaNoWriMo last year and I am sad to say my story fell through. It was plot that was destined for short-storyhood, something I only discovered after the first ten thousand words. Thankfully, I have a plot that looks like it will survive my bouts of writers block, procrastination, and midnight inspiration. Praise the month of coffee and hand cramps from typing too much!

I'm definitely doing it this year, mostly because I've got a great story idea that I can't wait to write, but also because my one friend who got me into it will kill me if I don't. Last year was my first year and I fell short by about 5k, but by the end of the month I had lost all semblance of plot and I had no idea where I was going. Hopefully this year will be better; I actually have all the plot details planned out this time!

As I see I am not simply a blabbering fanboy, I shall disclose my idea.

So for a few years, now, I've been privately tossing a story about on my head that's kind of like Hellsing meets Magical Girl meets-

Don't kill me, it's better than it sounds, I made sure of that.

Anyhow, the story is about a teenager named Simon Bellamay who, once upon an eighteenth birthday's eve, gets unceremoniously attacked by demons, and in order to protect his life, he is forcefully knighted into an order of demon slaying paladins who have secretly existed since the days when mankind was little more than a bunch of warring tribes.

It's gritty and action packed, with some sarcastic humor here and there, and it will count as the first real draft of this story.

If I might shamelessly plug a quote:

---

"Ave, Maria," Simon whispered in awe as he beheld the impossibly detailed and beautiful statue of the winged princess.

Maria looked over at her commander quizzically. "I'm right here, Simon," she said.

"G- Shut up, Maria," Simon snapped.

---

So? Thoughts?

I had no idea this existed. Let's see... Magical Girls are pretty much my favorite thing, so perhaps some kind of magical girl story? I've always liked the idea of a really stereotypical, RAINBOWS AND FRIENDSHIP, magical girl who ends up in a world of modern-day-ish comic superheroes. Ideas, Ideas...

I would usually be in for this sort of thing. I never make a very good showing, but I have participated for three years now. This year, though, I don't have any novels that particularly scream to be written, at the moment. I think I will put aside my noveling for the year and work on other projects instead.

For instance: I have a couple of plays that have been in my head for a while. Maybe I will get a start on one of those.

-Derrick

I'm already making notes. Crazy notes, but notes. And I'm rolling in plot ideas already.

I'm going to try. This year I'm doing something for serious which... I just hope it turns out. It's kind of the foundation of a series of novels that currently only exist in my head.

But on the other hand, bad stuff happens and I don't want to write it... because I really don't want to suck at showing people how bad the bad stuff was and how there isn't any easy way back. I mean, this event is kind of the foundation of the personality of one of my characters... and my attitude to editing is to either run a SPAG and bad logic flow check or to go whole hog on how many syllables a sentence has...

Considering I'm being paid forty bucks to write crack slashfic? I'm in. I'm very in.

I still have decided what I'll do, though. Either comedy about vampire or horror about faries.

I tried it last year and managed to get up to around 27,000 words before my computer crashed and wiped my file out. There was much crying and swearing on my part.

This year I'm sure to hit the mark! YEEEEEUH, BRING IT, OPEN OFFICE!

I'm definitely doing it this year, like I have since 2006. I want to manage my 5k-a-day speed from last year's Week One, but this time I want to extend it for another three days and finish on day 10 just to prove I totally can. Who needs quality, I've got QUANTITY! And just enough momentum that the brain-weasels are left futilely shrieking in my wake as I zoom off into the sunset. In November I don't have time for criticizing myself, it's seriously the best month of the year...

How did my phone auto-correct "am" to "San"?

I feel like Weeping Angels used to be the most terrifying things around, back in their Blink days. The more they've shown up, the less scary they seem, in my opinion. Still, they are freaking creepy in a way a lot of monsters aren't.

However, like a few people below, I think my vote has to go to either Slender Man or something out of the SCP foundation.

Or, actually, has anyone here read John Dies At The End? Because holy crap that book terrified me.

Weeping Angels, definitely. Because it's really easy for them to sneak up on you -- actually, all they can do is sneak up on you -- and I hate that. Especially in the dark; then I couldn't even see them to pause the sneaking-up. And the invading my brain possibility, and reproducing via my imagination and killing me on the way out... yeah, no. Go away, Moffat, nobody likes youuu... -curls up in a corner-

So, of course, my brain goes to "Hey, y'know what would be hilarious...?" and imagines Maggie being dramatically terrified of the things too. (Which would require a Whoniverse mission... agh, my plate, why do I keep piling things up on it?!)

Yes, a toss up between the Weeping Angels and the Vashta Nerada, although Slenderman gets honorary mention for just being plain damn creepypasta. The fact that no one knows how to defeat Slenderman (whereas we know how to petrify Weeping Angels and more or less deter the Vashta Nerada) just bugs me, I think.

However, I think I would be more afraid of psychological horror things, like if the monster was your own mind sorta stuff.

I'm not really afraid of monsters so much any more. I am immensely bothered by things like demonic possession or alien infestation/mind control like in Animorphs, but I think that's more of a creepy/squicky feeling than outright fear.

When I was younger, I was utterly TERRIFIED of zombies, and was convinced there was an entire empire of skeletons in the pipes beneath the house--with a front door right under my bed, of course.

La Llorona scares me the most. Drowning is the second most terrifying way I can think of to die (second only to burning to death...)

And there is something really horrible about being killed by something that won't even acknowledge you as anyone other than its 'child', especially when it killed its real kids, too...

I agree that the Weeping Angels are terrifying, but I honestly am more scared of the Vashta Nerada. I was always a bit afraid of the dark when I was little, so even now when I've gotten over that fear they really creep me out.

SCP-439.

Scared of eating insects in your sleep? Well, in Soviet Russia this insect eats you when you're asleep.

*Sprays entire house with insecticide*

Hm. The Silence, definitely. I get kinda freaked out when things don't match the way I remember them and I don't know why, so losing your memories of them is kinda my RUN AND HIDE button.

Oh yeah, and then there's the SCP Foundation. They're chalk-full of monsters like that.

Although I can scare myself pretty good, too.

Like these two characters:

"Rogue", who is like the weeping angels in that whenever he attacks or kills something, any cameras or lights, or even one's ability to see, are disabled for the duration of his onslaught. And, what's worse, he horrifically mutilates his victims, but until the lights and cameras and whatnot come back on, it's impossible to know this because his attacks are completely silent. According to the canon I wrote around him, only about four people can withstand his powers - a human scientist with unnatural resilience, a human agent who is really good at dodging, an alien doctor from the same race as Rogue, and ab alien agent, also from the same race as Rogue.

The other character I wrote was based loosely on the story of Faust - and he bears the same name. Basically, Faust is a monster that exists within the self-loathing of others, and uses their hatred and fear as his weapons by which to torment and murder his victims, and that's not even taking into consideration the body-defiling curse he places on his victims that constantly grows worse the more knowledge of their inner selves they obtain, until they become little more than zombies within their own minds. The only survivor from faust's wrath is a boy named Christopher, who escaped from a fire only to watch as his family burned to death from within.

So, yeah. I write some pretty messed up stuff sometimes.

They're the 'perfect' combination of creeping dread and jump scares.

Here's to raising a beautiful baby girl! *raises glass*

HUZZAH BABBIES! \O/!

Congratulations! She's so cute!

Your little boy is adorable as well. :)

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

*laughing madly over the foreshadowy writing piece* You two have a talent for making the awesome and hilarious. :D

Also OHMYVALAR LOOKIT THE BAAAAABYYYYYYY~ *incomprehensible squeeing*

Seriously, she's gorgeous. So happy for all of you. =D And Alex looks like he's totally getting into the big brother lark. :P

That can't have been easy.

Best of luck to you all, and the baby!

*hugs all of you*

The baby is adorable.

It's a baby! A baby! Yeah that's about the sum total of my vocabulary right now if I think too much about the baby. Also squees. Because baby. I'll be over there squeeing because baaaabyyyyy! Also, the story was awesome. But mostly BABY! And -- and -- the PICTURE!

Okay I am officially incoherent, see the subject line, -squeeeeeee-

She's adorable!



...also, nice shirt, sir.

It seems she has already mastered the art of dramatic entrances.

She is so adorable, oh my gosh! Congrats to all three of you, wow... :DDD

(I really think someday, if I get really bored, I may add to your collection of children's books on the PPC. :'D)

She's adorable. Congratulations!


I have to love your methods of announcing that you had a daughter. Because why pass up a good opportunity for writing?
I wonder how she's going to react when she finds this later?

They're both looking adorable!

Huh! Your family had there new kid within almost a year of mine!

But oh good Lord, don't let me take the spotlight off you here. Congratulations!

(And to think: I once believed that nobody on the internet ever had children. AH GAHD MAH CHILDHOOD)

Congratulations guys.

Oh, she's so...so...sweet! Look at how little and pink and cute she is! Congratulations, you two!

Squee and D'awww! She's beautiful! (And oh dear, her older brother is growing scarily fast. Didn't he used to be tiny?)

Ooh, so cute... Congrats, hS and Kaitlyn.

Aww, she's adorable! Good luck to both of you, and good job Huinesoron!

Even if I'm still working on his first report. Derp.

I have to say, you really got better with your writing. Still, it's a long read, and I wish all of it was as funny as the Arster.

Things I noticed:

• Everything is a mini. If you have that many minis, you can handle them differently, especially the capitalization-based ones. I would have turned 'weeping angels' into exactly that. A bunch of angels that weep. Probably at the badness of the fic. The doctor could have been a random doctor (not necessarily of medicine, be creative here). And do you know how many things go by the word jack?
• You need to learn how to dose fic quotes. They shouldn't be too long and, ideally, showcase a thing you found. Like the Wapanese heart disease. You could have quoted the first time it was mentioned.
• You like capitalizing things, do you? Things you shouldn't capitalize:
  • Agent, unless it's used as "Agent [name]."
  • Colors, even if they're Suvian in nature.
• You don't need to read the full charge list. You really don't need to read the full charge list.

Brilliant first mission; well done!

I must say, that is an awful lot of minis - and here was I thinking that the fourteen (in only three-hundred and fifty-seven words) mini-Colossi that I found on my first mission was a lot. Have some Bleepolate - I think your agents are going to need it after that fic.

There are so many different minis from Artemis Fowl... which is not hard to spell...

I would think (though I don't know,) that holly, frond, and grub would be represented as their natural counterparts (a bush, a leaf, and a bug,) due to the fact that they are now common nouns.

Mind if I take Artemis Fowlor? I am extremely saddened that I didn't get tinky-winky. You better take good care of that Noo-noo! //sobs

Mind if I nab Gnomish? (or is it already taken?)

That was probably one of the silliest (in a good way, like ha-ha silly, not what-is-this-I-don't-even silly) missions I've ever read - and being unfamiliar with Artemis Fowl and Doctor Who didn't help.

I will say that I rather enjoyed Anebrin's initial reaction to the minis, though. I found it kind of adorable~

Ooh, and about the 'ending a quote with a period rather than a comma' charge: I might be wrong, but I think it's okay to do that if you don't follow the quote up with sommat like 'she said' or 'he chided'.

Example: "I'm giving you an example," he explained.
"I'm giving you a different example." The second speaker's eyes twinkled with mirth.

All in all, though, great job on your first mission, des!

Good mission. I already said my part while betaing, so, uh, yeah.

Are you going to do that Artemis Fowl/Nanoha crossover next?

Sure, why not. Mail's sur DOT nhm AT gmail DOT com.

Willing to beta. E-mail is singingthethunder1@gmail.com

...we have cookies :3 All we ask is your complete devotion to bettering fics and authors alike!

Your soul would be nice as well

Let's see... I gift you twine, a gel pen, and a handful of refrigerator magnets.

Welcome a-Board the good ship PPC, where the fandoms are many and the sane are few. I feel that conclusion has enough backing to become a law or at least a theory, as you are not the first nor will you be the last to say it.

Using my proven/ concluded awesomeness, I grant you The Sporker's Guide to the Multiverse*, with tips on how to kill certain types of 'Sues and colorful illustrations describing how not to get killed by them. Good luck!



*Copyright ThatOne, 2012. TSGttM is in no way a parody or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and all those claiming so will be thrown in the nearest available plothole.

Hi, have some fudge!

Got a link for the ST OFU? I'd like to read it.

As a Newbie welcome gift have a genuine exploded CAD. Perfect for tinkering.

Ooh, a Star Trek OFU! Goody! I'll look forward to that one, then!

Also, if it helps, my agents (Cyba Zero and Eagrus Khan, DTE) are currently out on a Trekverse mission full of hilarious and horrendous spelling errors. If they make it back without being assimilated, they have a lot of mini-Tribbles in tow, which may be useful for your staffing. If you send them the OFU coordinates, they might be able to drop the minis off on their way back to HQ. :)

Also, you probably have this already, but in case you don't, here is a link to the OFU hub page: http://www.misssandman.com/LOTR/ofum.html

Last but not least, have a Bag of Chocolate Holding - holds up to thirty bars of chocolate at no additional weight! I also took the liberty of filling it for you!

Good luck!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water. Consumption will allow you to compute the surface area of Gabriel's Horn. It also might cause a world-ending paradox so handle it with care!

Have a graduated cylinder!

Though it's less fixing what's actually there and more cathartically writing about kicking the ass of what we can't freaking stand, but yes. :D And we increase the amount of goodfic by bouncing writing off each other until it glows.

Have a... hmm... -rummages through pockets- Aha! How about a figurine of Arturia Pendragon? Guaranteed to be really awesome, since if you press the button on her back she yells, "EXSU... CALIBAAAAAA!"

Have some generic cake. Everyone loves generic cake.

Glad to have you aboard! Here, have an Astartes-Pattern bolter! Just be careful when you fire it, it has been known to rip people's arms off.

Don't mind me, just Everyone's Favorite Teh Specs wandering through.

Here, have some Summon Phlebotinum gloves with the spell written on them. It's handy for when your Hammerspace Containers run out of room.

I think the technology was made from repurposed Mary Sue magic and Full Metal Alchemist gloves.

Might be volatile.

Don't summon nukes if you can help it.

It's bad for conduct reports.

Glad to have you here, hermione of vulcan. It's always nice to see new friendly faces. :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. You can always throw the pebbles at the OFU students. :P

It's nice to meet you! Here, have an Awake. Much like Tribbles in physiology, adjectives used as nouns can be controlled by feeding them excessive amounts of similar substances. In the case of this Awake, here, three shots of Espresso every six hours should keep it well under control.

So, welcome to our Board! What fandoms, other than Star Trek, do you have?

Also, have a celebration geode!

Hi, and welcome! First of all, read the Constitution. It's linked to on top of the page. About the wiki I don't need to tell you, but you're more than welcome to drop by the IRC - there's a link below the one that goes to the wiki.
Last but not least, have a cup of tea. Just don't let the leaves eat you.
PS: it might taste like coffee and bacon due to the maté I've added. It should still be rather tasty, though.

Another former lurker like me! Welcome to the Board - have a bleepolate donut.

Welcome Miss of Vulcan. Have a red shirt and a packet of jelly babies as welcome presents.

Have some choc-chip cookies. Or do you like choc covered cookies better? Or how about just a big block of choc shaped like a cookie?

Anyways, what are your preferred fandoms?

Welcome to the PPC, Manzo! Please make sure you deposit your sanity in the correctly marked bin, as you won't be needing it much here.

It's always good to see a fan/follower/stalker, especially someone who's known about us for a while. I'm relatively new here, as I only joined in May, but I feel I'm senior enough to give you a handshake and a tour. I'll also give these Generic Glasses, which morph to suit your need. Just don't use them as actual glasses, or you'll be needing corrective surgery.

Have an awake! Feed it lots of caffeine and it will love you forever.

Hi Manzo, have some fudge!

D&D, eh? Which version? I've played up to 3.5, but to be honest I prefer Hero System to any version of D&D.

*Hands over a bottle of Bleepka.* You'll need this soon enough.

Welcome aboard! Also, have a set of scratch-proof chitin armour, perfect for deflecting marshmallow bombardments!

I'unno about split personalities, plenty of professional authors write multiple characters just fine and no one implies they're crazy. Well. Not because of being able to write multiple characters.

Anywave. Official PPC missions are only allowable after getting Permission, which requires sticking around long enough that the Permission Givers know you (generally simplified to 'a month') and then making a post requesting it. See the wiki page on it for details. And I think there's at least one Request on the front page of the Board right now if you want examples of how to eventually go about it.

Have a figurine of Nasuverse Joan of Arc!

Welcome to the party Manzo, hope you survive the experience. Have a plastic NYPD badge and a six pack of empty coke cans.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Used to calibrate perpetual motion machines!

Good to see an old fan becoming a member! It means you can join in the fun more directly. :D

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Also, what are your fandoms? I think I saw mention of your playing D&D?

Welcome, welcome!
It's not hard to write two characters. I write two OFUs, both of which have two course coordinators. In fact, really a lot of my things come in pairs!

Good to have you on board; have a graduated cylinder!

Here, have an extra version of Ragnell I've got lying around!

Welcome to the PPC! Have a bleepolate-chip cookie as a welcome gift!

Whoops, forgot the standard welcome gift.

Here, have a Made In Japan Brand Laser Sword.

Mind the edge - out cuts to the atomic level.

Hi, and welcome. First thing, you need to read the Constitution (link on top of the page). The Wiki, as well as The Original Series, are also recommended readings. You can reach the wiki via the link below the one to the Constitution; you can find TOS there easily enough. Below the link to the wiki there's a link to the IRC, and you're more than welcome to pop by and say hi.
Since you seem to be interested in writing PPC stories, please read the article about Permission; it's important!
To answer your question, most people have a duo of agents, though some write more, and there are certainly instances of co-writes.
Last but not least, have a cup of tea. Just don't let the weird taste (tea, coffee and bacon) weird you out. Letting the leaves eat you isn't a good idea, either.

You know, creating an account isn't that hard. You don't have to sign in as "Anonymous", and I'm certain the user handle "Manzo" is not taken.

And, uh... I do hope you had permission to write this PPC thing, or that you called it something else, because there is a copyright in place.

I'm not being mean here - just concerned.

As for agents working in teams, it can go to more if you Co-write with other authors. You can own two characters called "Agents" yourself, otherwise.

What a fun read! I especially enjoyed Officer/Spy Rooney's dry sort of humor (and, with an ex-cop/Deputy Sheriff/Sheriff/bailiff for a grandfather, am rather pleased to see someone from law enforcement taking up the flash patch!)

Curses, I told myself three missions and an interlude before I think about making any more agents, and all this DoI love isn't making me any more patient! I wanna make a spy...

Always good to see Intelligence reports popping up, especially when they help to develop the Intelligence Officers as well. Are you planning to kill the fic at a later date as well?

You've definitely made a whole lot of excellent additions to your Intel report: background info, thoughts, and good descriptions of what's going wrong. It's short, but that's to be expected with a report format.

A good read overall. Spiffing job!

Glad to see you'll be featuring more of Rooney in future episodes. As I said before, he sounds like a really nice guy.







*Wipes tear from eye* Look at that. The DoI is slowly gaining popularity...

...because I have some theoretical questions too. I've searched the wiki but I haven't gotten conclusive answers.
1)How is a Sue "reformed"? Some sort of de-glitterfication process? Therapy? Medications?
2)On a related note, how is a Sued agent de-Sued?
3)Can a character be recruited if they are inhabiting a crash dummy?

Breaking the SEP Field

The SEP field will cloak an Agent from being detected by characters in a fic, unless:

The person observing them is not a canon character for their continuum (Mary Sues and OCs)
A canon character becomes so OOC that he suffers a character replacement
A Sue notices the agent, and draws the canon character's attention to him
The Agent draws attention to himself somehow. Talking won't do it, but a loud noise might, and interacting with the canon characters definitely will.
The character in question knows of the PPC's existence, or else is omniscient in some form

In Ellipsis Flood and my mission, Jace Beleren(M:TG) could see through the field because he has skill with illusions. In other missions, Jack Harkness(Torchwood) could see through the field because he has experience with perception fields.

IIRC, in an MLP:FiM mission, Pinkie Pie looks straight at the agents but doesn't do anything. It's probably dependant on the level of possession, but Deadpool almost certainly would.

If you think it can be done well, then probably, yeah! I'd recommend a really excellent beta, though, and a lot of careful discussion when doing it. I suspect it's one of those concepts that either goes really well, or really, really badly.

Well, the first example off the top of my head is Pinkie Pie from MLP:FiM, who speaks to the audience at least once every few episodes or so. But she doesn't know about the PPC, as far as I've seen, so... I'unno.

I'm glad you had Caroline own up to her emotional state in that last mission. It would be difficult for most characters to admit they over-reacted, and it's big of her to do so.

I also find it interesting that Caroline and Veralyn's bickering is obnoxious enough to keep a mini-Discord too morose and distracted to delight in much mischief . . .

I do so like this. You managed to blend serious discussion about a rather horrific badfic with hilarity without giving me whiplash, and I cackled a few times. Is awesome!

I want Caroline and Maggie to run into each other at some point. Just because.

I can't beta anyone properly right now because of massive school stuff, but I'll be back up for it when the insanity quits. Looks like you've got some willing guinea pigs, though...

...because why not.

Announcing the beta-reading period for episode 2 of (Un)Intelligence!

I've decided to cap the number of beta readers at 3 for the sake of simplicity (because any more than that feels like overkill for a short story). I already have the Irish Samurai who's waiting to beta so can I interest one or two more people to get on board?

Thanks much!

It's a pretty long mission set in the BBC Sherlock fandom, cowritten between myself and IntelligentAirhead, and I'm hoping to check for flow and continuity with the rest of the PPC. Any takers?

Are you using the Rich Text editor, or HTML? What I normally do is write the mission post in Word, add the appropriate HTML codes manually, then cut-and-paste into the HTML posting window.

I haven't seen Mulan in ages and ages, but I do know the basics, and I can check for SPaG and that sort of thing. But I don't have a LJ account.

Because Neshomeh is #1.

And huggles. And cookies. And a vacation. And [rambling for an hour].

Seriously though, holy cow, Nesh! I knew you've been busy, but this... This boggles the mind, it does.

-giant huggle of lahv-

The two unnamed agents were fairly well characterized, which was one thing that I know is a problem with unnamed characters sometimes.

I noticed you had a lot of "as if" statements, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but something to be mindful of, because it affects your tone and your pacing without you realizing it. It makes statements less definite, and it can take the punch out of a paragraph.

However, if it were up to me, I'd hand you the internet and say go for it. Especially because skimming that sporkable fic is beginning to annoy me, less because of any specific errors than because the entire thing seems like it was barfed out at two a. m. without any respect for canon.

I love your Agents; they have a wonderful dynamic and a great description, and I'm delighted to see another Potterverse semi-fic blip recruit around. (For info on at least one of the others, check out Agent William Marshall.) Will Rose in particular has definitely caught my interest and I'd like to see more about him.

As for your Permission piece, I liked it as far as it went, but it's a very short piece - I think it could have done to be a little longer, maybe going into more depth about the situation after they recruited Will. I also noticed a few minor things your beta-reader didn't catch. For example:

"Hmm," the man looked thoughtful. should have been "Hmm." The man looked thoughtful. because a comma at the end of speech marks indicates that the speaker's next action will relate to having said something (i.e. spoke, murmured, yelled).

Then, with no warning whatsoever, he announced "I REALLY HOPE THAT THE VILLAIN DOESN’T COME OUT OF THE DARKNESS AND FIND US SOON, BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE OUR LIVES RATHER MISERABLE!"

Here, you missed out the comma before the opening speech mark (it should have gone after "announced").

And there are a few other very small errors here and there. I'd like to ask that you take another look, maybe get a secondary beta in (because two heads are always better than one). I would also love to see this piece expanded somewhat. It's a very short piece, so it's hard to get an idea of how you'll manage with longer ones.

So in my opinion, Permission temporarily denied, sad as I am to say it. Polish things up a bit and I'll be more than happy to take another look. I do hope you'll take my recommendations on board; your writing's very enjoyable, and I would like to see it become better.

Your Agents look okay, and I like the fic. The bit with that male Agent trying to invoke the Ironic Overpower to find the villain was fun. I don't have a Hat, but I like the pieces.