Aug 2012 Archive, part c

What is it that makes Superbear super? Was he experimented on when he was a cub? Did he accidentally hibernate near a unstable nuclear power facility? I bet he ate a fish, not realizing that it was actually an alien from the star HE 1523-0901, and gained enhanced ablities because of the as-of-yet undiscovered minerals it contained. What kind of bear is he? Or is it a her?

Does he have a Bear Cave? Which is actually just an ordinary cave... with the Superbear insignia on the wall.

Not sure how well that would work as an agent, though.

I have some experience beta-ing but none for PPC stories. However I've read all (or almost all, you can never be sure) of the Intelligence reports, and I have a pretty good eye for spotting grammer mistakes. My email is beeg97@yahoo.com but I'm going away in a couple days, so I might not respond immediatly if you do email me.

I would be happy to beta this. Be warned, though, I haven't had much experience as a beta, so I might not catch everything.

There should be two of them. That's always fixed it for me. I'm not sure how to do that in Chrome, as I use Firefox.

Oh my, I know relatively little about Batman and even I know that all that was wrong...

The fact that there are good luck charlies wandering around makes me feel like there is a force within the words that uses us to smite badfic. I have no idea how I would go about drawing one, though.

It's a very fun read, and I also like the Bat-Mite.

I absolutely loved the Bat-Mite. And it was great how you used him and the Good Luck Charlies. Virtibird was great as well; I like a mini with a personality.

If I might add a bit of concrit, I felt that the 'Why do you hate me?' bit, while being wellwritten, could have been resovled sooner.
After all, saying 'I was trying to provoke the Ironic Owerpower into sending you here' doesn't take longer to say than 'I didn't mean it and it's your problem if you think I did', so it was odd that Sylvia waited for so long to make the full explanation.

Other than that, I really liked the interaction between your agents.

And the moomoos were pure comedy gold!

My knowledge of Batman is limited to the first two movies (I still haven't been able to see the third one yet, much to my annoyance), but I still enjoyed this mission a lot, especially the “James Gordon: Commissioner/Badass” bit. And Nygma was both adorable and hilarious. Just one bit of concrit: the switching of the type back and forth from bold to normal is a bit distracting. In missions like this you can just quote the fic directly.

Since I've seen the initial version of this fic, let me congratulate on how much it improved. You managed to streamline boring situations, and the climax was very, err, climactic.

Nygma was definitely one of the highlights of this mission. You don't see that sort of mini involvement that often.

Also, I like how the agents don't merely stand next to the situation. They hide, they are dragged into the first person POV, they face their fears (nice foreshadowing there, by the way).

...That's why I save copies of the fic to my computer - usually I copy-paste into a word document. Of course, since I only MST at the moment, my method might not work so well...

... you could also save copies of the fic offline. fanficdownloader works well for me.

Remember though, you can always incorporate the deletion into the mission, like what happened to Rosie Cotton and Nenya Gabriel in this mission:
http://plotprotectors.tripod.com/JAAKSONS/ch2_darkmoon.html
Or, you can move on to another story. Whatever you think is best.

But France is in the same time zone as Italy... And here time isn't screwy at all. *gives a puzzled look at his alarm clock*

Besides, I feel slightly offended that you choose France instead of Italy.

[Insert lenghty rant here about how Italy is better than France fueled by the usual Italy-France antagonism. Please ignore it.]

. . . spies from the Department of Intelligence. They've been known to pull this stunt before! (http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn/YorkGath08.htm)

I like the narrative voice you had going in the second paragraph. It's hard to pin down except as "Funny! Do more of that!". I think it's the seriousness of the tone and your choice of idioms (I fear angering them) combined with the description of the pigeons as bigger than your fifteen-pound cat and that there are twenty of 'em on the window sill.

Au revoir!

It's clear that she isn't actually defending Mary Sues, but a different concept altogether. Honestly, she didn't really seem to know what she was talking about; she seems to be laboring under the (admittedly, unfortunately common) delusion that "Mary Sue" means "any female OC who can do anything" and is defending that concept instead. She's taking animosity towards a canon-warping, poorly-written monstrosity and thinking it's directed towards any and all female OCs, and basing her paper around that. Her thesis is based on a faulty premise, and if she really understood what a Mary Sue was, and what a Sue really meant, I doubt she would still be defending them.

She also didn't seem to realize that "A Trekkie's Tale" was an intentionally bad parody. So I'm not sure what to make of that.

My first thought is that I'm having a hard time taking this seriously, when they keep dragging in 'A Trekkie's Tale' to use as an example without really acknowledging the fact that the whole thing is a blatant parody. The way they write it, you would think that it was the first story about a female commander on the Enterprise, when it's actually a parody of something that clearly had already been going on for a long while.

That said, I just shrugged my shoulders at this. They obviously have a definition of Mary Sue which is different from both the one generally used on the internet and the one used by the PPC.
In their vocabulary, Mary Sue seems to mean any original character who is either a woman or belongs to a minority group, which is not adequately represented in the canon work. This includes canon characters who takes part in slash, which is something I have never seen in any definition of the term before.

But, from their point of view, where a Mary Sue is 'any independent female character in a male-dominated world', sure, it makes perfect sense to say that Mary Sues are empowering.
If we take the PPC definition which is closer to something like 'any female character who dresses like a dominatrix, insults Arwen, stuffs Eowyn into a plothole, makes Gimli a raging misogynist just to give her some opposition to overcome and who ends up winning the heart of Aragorn in spite of being a complete and utter brat', then no, I don't find Mary Sues to be the least bit empowering.
Barb Wire was a woman in a male dominated environment,who beat up men and objected to being called 'babe' and oddly enough, I didn't find her the least bit empowering either.

The authors of the essay seem to focus only on the fact that 'here's a minority in a heteronormative, male-dominated, predominately white world, whee!' and ignore the negative sides or these stories. People who are against Sue's have a lot of legitimate complaints about them and they just brush them off like 'oh, they're just mad that there's a woman in the fellowship, when Tolkien didn't write one in'.
Um, no, we're mad that she's ordering everyone around and is generally acting in a way that would never ever have been tolerated by one of the male characters.

Mary Sues do nothing to prove that women can be a part of the fellowship or command the Enterprise. Rather, they seem to support the idea that the only way a woman can do those things, is if all logic and common sense is revoked. I find them an insult to good characters in general and well-written female characters especially.

Whether Mary Sues are awful constructs of bad writing or unfairly demonized by prudish gatekeepers is an ongoing debate that pops up here every so often. A lot of people (not including Suethors) are not big fans of groups like the PPC.

I won't touch the fair use - making money off of fanfiction is something that I highly doubt will ever be legal (without the author's permission, or the expiration of copyright, or what have you), no matter what is claimed about the story.

But the Mary Sue, in some ways, and to quite a few people, is in fact seen as a symbol of empowerment. In some ways, I actually quite agree - not in the fanfic scenario, so much, but in original fiction. Let's try this one: a wealthy girl is orphaned at a very young age, and grows up to become one of the world's most unstoppable assassin-type vigilantes. She can stop any villain, and best any one of her teammates (with varying degrees of ease), her male opponents tend to fall in love with her, none of her female opponents can stand up to her for more than a story arc before getting curb-stomped, and in general, anyone who dislikes her is Bad, Very Bad Indeed* (and probably corrupt). She is the Best At Everything; her civilian alter-ego is rich, beautiful, and all the guys at every party line up to be with her... but she also has a Dark and Tortured side, which mainly comes out at night with her alter-ego. Her friends are devoted to her, no matter how badly she might treat them, and in the end, she is (almost) always proven to be right.

The Sue in question, of course, is gender-flipped Batman. I have exaggerated a bit to make a point, but do you see where I'm coming from? In mass media, male characters are 'allowed' to be over-the-top and perfect; female characters who do the same are Sues. Batman is, admittedly, a very over-the-top example. Let me point out this.

A blurb of a much longer piece. (The latter contains some NSFW language.) This just about makes my point. Not that a guy wrote a bad book. Not even that a guy wrote a bad book and got critical acclaim for it! But that I think it is pretty clear that if you just flipped the protagonist's gender... he'd be A SUUEEE OMG. (Like Eragon! Or, hell, Bella Swan!)

I am one of the weird PPCers who thinks Sues and Stus can be done really well - even fanfic Stus/Sues, on very, very rare occasions. I've had people argue before that if a character is written well, they're not a Sue. But honestly, I see that exception applied a lot more often to male characters. IIRC, people have called Alanna, of Tamora Pierce's Tortall canon, a Sue. I haven't really seen that applied to Harry Potter - though he has the same sort of striking eyes, supernatural-ish help, and accomplishes feats of great heroism etc, etc.

So... no, I don't think Mary/Marty Sue/Stus are really good things. But I don't think there's anything wrong with people using Mary Sues as a tool of empowerment, provided the characters are well done. One of the criticisms I've seen of Sue-hating is that the biggest beef seems to be, in many cases, femininity. For example, in A Song of Ice and Fire, Arya gets hella love from the fandom. (As she should!) But Sansa gets vitriolic straight-up hatred from the fandom - and, leaving aside her childish shallow issues (which, c'mon, look at the later books), seems to be simply because she's a girl. And unlike Arya, she doesn't try to be a boy. She does girly things. She's good at them. She's pretty, and she believes in the fairy tales involving a handsome and chivalrous knight, and for this she gets crazy amounts of hate.

It's not cool. And I don't think there's anything wrong with writing Wicked Awesome Girly-girl Feminine Characters who are Totally Great At Everything. Like male characters who are Wicked Awesome and The Manliest Ever and Totally Great At Everything, they need to have characterization. If they've got that, we've got no beef with them, I think.

(And, you know, spelling/grammar/etc. But that's what syntax-betas are for!)

*Depending on the writer, of course, as with most of these things - Nolan's Batman is a good one to substitute, here.

Happy-happy birthday, from all of us to you~!

I forgot the rest of the words... -fails at life-

Anyway, have an imaginary cookie! -throws it through the Internet-

Now if only we can only find a way to slow down that rate, right?

... and a big box of virtual PPC-themed Birthday Muffins, because I'm not very good with cakes, even virtual cakes. :P

*Hands Cassie a bottle of Bleepka and a sponge cake.*

There's nothing wrong with collecting birthdays, it just means more memories and cake! Speaking of cake, have chocolate one covered in strawberries!

Have a box of hugs and a balloon made out of chocolate!

Have some cupcakes with Extra Rings of Power on them!

Here have a seventeen foot long, wool-knit, multicolored scarf, and a handwritten badfic origin copy of A Study in Scarlet

I think another round of Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Balrog is in order. No one passed the accuracy test last time.

Anyway, have a splendid birthday with cake and ice cream and the beheading of 'Sues. Just don't get too old, y'hear?

Have some of my cake, I'm afraid I won't be able to finish it all.

May you have many happy birthdays and an even greater number of happy unbirthdays!

Happy B-D, cassie. Many happy returns.
-Opens a bottle of wine-

Please, take them all off my hands! And have a fistful of bannana-shaped balloons as well!

Happy birthday, then! Have some cake.

Well done on reaching good ol' double-twelve!

And here, to amaze and astound you, is a... gift! A gift with much wrapping, yes, and a nice little ribbon on top. And within said wrapping, what do you find? A... box! Yes, a delightsome cardboard box, containing... um... a... thhhing?

hS isn't good at picking out presents.

(...

...

...

A wild BIRTHDAY appears!)

Why is the Sue messing with one of the greatest figures in classical literature?

You could try and MST it.

Particularly these words, but that was just. Stupid. Horribly stupid. I think you get more than one charge a sentence, a couple for the premise, and hopefully one for a stupid summary.

If you ever find one of these in a continuum I know more about (I know BBC Sherlock very well, not so much the Doctor) I'll be happy to come along for the ride to kill the stupid. As it is, you two crazy kids have fun detangling this one.

I mean, really stupid. Like, pants-on-backwards stupid. The general idea didn't make sense, but neither did any of the details.

Like the way everyone reacts to her being pregnant the first time. It's not such an unusual situation, certainly not something that deserves being called horrible. So why is everyone reacting like they're from Victorian Sherlock and not the modern interpretation?
Look! I'm already charge-list-ranting!

Since practically every single sentence constitutes a charge, I would say that there's more than enough material. And I don't even think you have to know that much DW, since it's hardly in there and the charges are pretty obvious. But I would like to help you out with that and so, I'm sure, would other people.

As for the author's admittance that this was an awful idea ... Maybe I'm not being very kind here, because I'm annoyed with the fic, but I don't see any kind of real regret or understanding on the part of the author, that this was indeed a Very Bad Idea. She just seems huffed that she got negative reviews for her story and then she decided that it wasn't worth it, if people weren't telling her that it was great. And after all, she didn't take it down.

Coincidentally, the Hebrew word for cheese, 'גבינה' (pronounced 'Gvina') is easily attached to the end of the word 'penguin', thus creating the dreaded 'Pingvinim', Cheese-penguins.

And one of them has the voice of Elijah Wood Frodo Baggins?
Fellowship of the Penguins. What is my mind on.

With, I would imagine, further charges if they use the fact that they've read the books/seen the films to give them detailed foreknowledge of events, which is something I've seen a few times.

Particularly if the accuracy persists once they start meddling with things, the 'Butterfly Effect' rarely seems to come into play in this kind of badfic.

'Falling into Middle-earth' should cover it.

Or, in the interests of promoting inter-department wossnames: why not call in an agent of Despatch (technically the combined Departments of Trans-Dimensional Snatching and TD Hopping, as I recall) to help deal with that part? You'd have to write your own for the piece, as no-one's written Despatch for a long time... if you're not up to that, just having your agents phone them and ask if they need to do anything special would be a nice call-out.

hS, promoting wossnames

If you want something more in-line with the canon, maybe her barrier collapsed dropping her in the nearest "safe" dimension? If I recall correctly, this his the half-witch half-human Homura, so it isn't a far-fetched possibility.

Hmmm... I think you could (depending on what you were sporking at the time) have the in-universe equivalent of her showing up due to a transporter malfunction or (if the universe allows for it) some other way of having her spontaneously show up in the right place for you to snatch her up.

I'll admit to being slightly confused, but I really didn't mind. Ii was nice to get the feeling, that I was looking at a small part of something much bigger.

I loved the part with the door!

"They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow, [...] Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind."

(Adapted from the original)

Rest in peace and all of that stuff, Mr. Armstrong. You'll be remembered for as long humanity lasts.

It's always sad to see a great man go. He was a hero to many and he shall not ever be forgotten. RIP.

And one more hero of mankind has slipped quietly into the dark between the stars.

Those first few steps that he took opened up worlds of possibilities for all of us. He was an inspiration for everyone to go farther than they ever thought possible. One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind indeed.

*once the silence is over* Alas, that the good eventually have to die at all. Rest in peace, Neil Armstrong.

Why does it seem like all the icons and heroes and celebrities WORTH caring about are starting to drop like flies? More and more we're being left with sappy reality show "stars" and ditzy celebs who can't seem to stay out of trouble - or the photographer's lens. I miss the good old days before I was coherent...at least the stars from back then seem to have more class.

From my reading so far, it seems that your writing style needs to be unpacked. In the prelude, things seem to happen very quickly without Agent Anebrin showing a lot of reaction or describing much action.

For example, "I see that the Agents sent me another badfic recruit without coming here themselves, said the Flower. The elf just groaned." It seems like it should generate some level of confusion in your agent, having fallen through a plothole. He never does seem to go through the classic "Where am I and how did I get here?" phase of adjusting to the situation.

Another part: "“Ow, my head,” he said." This just seems flat and emotionless, probably because of the use of the word "said" instead of "moaned" or something like that. Also, you haven't mentioned: is he squinting around, clutching his head? The actions you describe are a little bit generic and don't serve to characterize your character. Fixing that would be a major improvement.

"Your name? demanded the Flower.
“Anebrin,” said the elf weakly. He looked up and recoiled. It was obvious that he was shocked by the Marquis’s appearance." This bit, especially the last sentence, falls under show, don't tell. It would have been better if he "recoiled in shock" or if you'd shown his thoughts i.e., What is a giant sunflower doing here? I must have hit my head harder than I thought, but the way you've presented it (and the rest) it seems less like the characters are living it than that it's being summarized by a bored observer.

I do, however, like how you recruited the world-one agent.

Anyways, that's my two cents. Hope it's helpful.

Your writing, though you have some excellent ideas, is rather stiff. I think the problem is that you are doing a lot of telling and not nearly enough showing. You describe Anebrin's journey from the Marquis de Sod's office in less than a paragraph when it could easily take up two. You have to tell us how your characters feel. What thoughts are racing through their heads?
Also something to think about: The Flowers, to my knowledge, usually don't partner two newbies together.

while your character concepts do spark a little interest in me, the writing sample is extremely bland. There's no sense of emotion in it; it reads like someone just watching the events and reporting them in very uninteresting prose. For example:

"Ouch," he and the elf said as they were pelted by the round, hard vegetables. They got up, dusted themselves, and went onwards.

Someone accidentally setting a cartful of cabbages loose could be good slapstick comedy. However, like this it reads more like the cabbages were being actively thrown at them - and unless the cart was much taller than the two people, the cabbages would roll out and hit them on the legs at worst. Also, nobody I can think of would ever just say "Ouch," if a cabbage hit them at high speed, and then get up and leave.

The rest of the writing sample reads similarly - nobody ever seems shocked, amused, or emotionally affected by anything. Just because the narration says they are doesn't mean we get that sense. One of the most necessary writing concepts is "show, don't tell", and I think you need some practice with the idea.

So I'm sorry, but as a PG I personally am going to have to say Permission Denied for now. You're more than welcome to work on your writing skills and try again in the future, though, and I do look forwards to seeing it.

Eeh. I like the jokes you put in (The Marquis de Sod sending Anebrin off without asking if he'd actually been recruited, the log2 thing, the "Press Me"), but your prose is dry, after those first few jokes it dries up, and it repeats a few sentence structures over again. That's a sure way to bore your readers, and boring missions aren't good missions. By the time I got to the cabbage bit, which could have been funny and I thought it would have been when you were talking about it, it was just desert-dry, desert-beige prose. You have to describe what it feels like to be pelted, not say (and I quote)

“Ouch,” he and the elf said as they were pelted by the round, hard vegetables. They got up, dusted themselves, and went onwards.

That's just... bleck. It doesn't count. To give in to the metaphors of how I 'sense' certain kinds of writing, your Word World is covered in a layer of dust and I can't see anything but the basic shapes even with my glasses on.

In addition, I have a problem with the idea of you, personally, having Permission. How I understand it is that Permission gives those with Permission to say "I am the PPC", and... well. I don't want someone who thinks evolution is a theory -- who thinks proof of it can be waved away with "That's your view of reality, mine is different" -- I don't want someone as the face of the PPC who thinks he can deny scientific theories to be true. (Scientific theories as opposed to layman's theories, which are more properly hypotheses.) I don't like the idea of you having Permission when from what I've heard you cocoon yourself in "I reject your reality and substitute my own!". That's only funny as a Mythbusters reference, not a serious way of thinking.

Writing sample: I told you about the problems I have with your writing. Namely that it's wooden and that you seem to lack the ability to read (and thus write) between the lines. I miss the lightheartedness and the casual fun that is the PPC in this thing. And the worst thing is that I can't even pinpoint what is causing the dryness in your writing.

Agents: Anebrin is a random elf. Is there anything that sets Wesnoth elves apart from others? Des, on the other hand, as you describe him there, sounds annoying. Also, he's still way too nonchalant about the whole "portal to HQ" thing.

My two cents: Practice your writing. Write things just for the lulz and throw them into the IRC, or on the board, for concrit. Learn to read/write between the lines, find a way to sound more dynamic.

PS: When I said you got better, I still meant that. It's just that better doesn't equal good.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8455933/1/Never_Trust_a_ShapeShifter

She's the one-and-only Shape-Shifter (and occasionally a Shift-Shafter, apparently), kicks rear in combat, has stolen the Golden Claw and run off toward Riften with it (so it isn't in the barrow where it should be, which I would call a canon beach). She hasn't met the Dragonborn yet, but still... Oh, and a few technical errors to boot, especially with tenses.

To spork or not to spork, that is the question... What do you all reckon?

First up, Twenty first century Narnia Sue with bonus Edmund replacment, plus possible Suvian colour described as soft yellow and soft mixture of green and blue almost making it look light green (personally I like the name Soft Bleen). http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8405685/1/Bad_Boy
Second, another Narnia Sue, notable for putting links to pictures rather than describing her clothes, plus creation of a centar. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8455211/1/A_world_of_Adventure
Third, a Potterverse Sue, metamorphmagus with mood ring hair. Don't be fooled by the title, she's incredibly mean, but everyone likes her. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8391552/1/Kamilia_The_Friendly_Chameleon
Finally, an incredibly noncanonical species turns up in Lord of the Rings and yup, she's after Legolas. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8464645/1/The_Elf_and_The_Angel

This one seems to be setting herself up for competing with Commander Shepard.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8465257/1/The_Cyborg_vs_The_Renegade

In short: she's snatched from the Real World, given a beautiful, powerful new body by the Protheans and sent to go and help stop the Reapers. The only thing is it stops before it gets beyond 'four years prior to Mass Effect 1'. However, there is also a certain lack of commas, a mini ('Shepherd') and it contains tense shifts.

As the PPC wiki notes, you can't kill the Sue for bad spelling and grammar unless she has enough charges to kill her for being a Sue alone.

...that is, if you want your agents to be in the Department of Mary Sues.

The Department of Technical Errors, on the other hand...

Posted again to add that I've been to the author's page now. She has several characters named after her penname. Oh, and this:
"I would also like to add a little note here. I've had a few reviews/messages about my stories complaining that they are mostly word-for-word than the movies, tv shows or whatever. But yes they will be like that because that is how I have always loved to do my stories. The original character is mostly based on myself and on what it would be like for me as well as my original character. Since I could not be in the movies, tv shows etc, I like to do this so that it gives me a new world to come too when my own is too much.

If some of you people don't like this then I suggest not continuing to read my stories because I WILL be sticking to the original scripts, but also when I can, I will be adding my own things to it obviously.

I just thought I'd add this so that I could warn people before continuing the read."

~ Quoted directly from the author (Sophia Kaiba)'s profile, here: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1298151/Sophia_Kaiba

Looks like I was right about the dialogue being suspiciously similar.

Is this Canon, or can I bounce my pair of Agents off other Agents?

Miah woke up to The Message blaring in her ears, and decided that she really wanted to punch someone. Or shoot them. Hmm. Maybe both. She slid out of bed, noted her slimmer figure and more exaggerated facial features only in passing, in favor of spending more time hiding non-lethal weapons in the hammerspace she had suddenly gained access to. She knew she’d normally make sure Cali had breakfast before heading out, but being the TsunTsun she might just shoot him instead. Why, of all the character types, was she saddled with this one? It’s not like she’d actually shot anyone in the halls for months.

Sorry I couldn't help all the way through, sleep and school are cockblocking my affair with sarcasm.

...But congratulations all the same! That's one less Sue for the rest of the world to fear. Huzzah! -throws confetti at pigeons-

My first keyboard-smack was when Sherlock showed up with a gun (seriously, America is the only place so lax about gun control - and Sherlock has a drugs record, he couldn't get one legitimately there either!) but when I really broke was this line:

"“Yes, well, only because they compliment the shape of your face and bring out the already prominent blue color of your eyes. They really suit you.”"

No, you gibbering twit of a hormone-riddled fangirl! He noticed because the part that sticks into your ears wasn't tarnished! And he wouldn't ask, he would just tell you where you bought them! Ugh! (Also, earrings would be hard-pressed to compliment the shape of a face and we all know that Sherlock pays attention to anything he can draw his conclusions from! Die, Alexis, Die!)

Oh, and Sherlock knows something about art, which the suethor clearly does not!

And I'm going to go sit down for a while now before I get too rabid, but good job, really.

I'd be interested in checking it out and pointing out all your typos :P (not to say you make many, but they happen! XD) mouseycat on LJ.

Depends on the fandom. Either way, my livejournal handle is Guvnorium

I'm gamingkitty on LJ.

You can add me on LiveJournal as CalliScribbles. I'll be able to do spelling/grammar stuff even if I don't know the fandom that well.

(PS: your link goes directly to your journal. Having it go to the actual post would be nice, I'm rubbish at mucking about on that place.)

I'd really like to beta your mission, but the fact that I don't have an LJ account (and that I don't plan on getting one either) kind of stops me from doing so.

I just took the survey, and it was very well thought out, I thought. Plus it was a lot of fun to do and I'm trying very hard to behave and not do it twice! :)

I'll be in the area as well! Any ideas on when/where/how?

Arriving Thursday afternoon, leaving Tuesday afternoon. We should totally meet up.

They tend to be resistant to Sues AND have their own twist on the whole business, with the idea of universal dwarfness and not much gender differentiation.

Maybe use Forgotten Realms!Dwarves, which aren't likely to get any attractive members (unless you count standard Dwarvish appearance as attractive) any time soon?
Other options I can think of are Bartimaeus!Imps (or Bartimaeus!Magical Entities in general) and Lord Demon!Demons.

What about Orcs?

We shall make our Anti-Lustin from Vogon extract.

*Twitches*

Gah! Holy Glod on the Heavenly Toilet Seat, what IS this? I survived the original CUPCAKES and this makes me sick!

Someone - anyone - please kill this. Kill it dead. Like with a rock or something. -whimpers-

There are really two Gravity Falls fanfiction that have become infamous for being both bad and extremely squicky - this, and "Grunkle Stan the Rapist", which I've already reported. I've only skimmed over both of them, because they're just too disturbing for me, but I think they both need sporking as soon as possible.

They are just so offensive and gruesome and disgraceful to the fandom that I can hardly comprehend it. Someone, do something.

Oh, and for the curious but lazy: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8349024/1/Grunkle_Stan_the_Rapist

This is, in my opinion, completely unsporkable. I can't think of a single way to make things funny in this fic.

I think I'm going to hurl.

Or rather, in which there is a Sherlock Stu and an Irene Sue and... it's ridiculously long.

What could have happened
Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: T
Watnings: Bad grammar, OOCness, superbloodylongness, temporal distortions like WOAH.

I'd be willing to tackle it, but I'd need help from someone who does exorcisms regularly, too...

And there's the Sue-per Saccharine flavour which adds sickly sweet Sue-tears to CAFfine. :'DDDD

Oh, who am I kidding? If the stuff tastes better than Coke(ah-Cola), I say go for it!

I'd say we can use it.

Agent Corolla would love it, too.

I can just imagine this getting mixed in with the regular coffee at DoSAT or the Cafeteria or such.

Is there a time limit for how long one must be a Boarder before one can create agents?

I've been planning to wait until I've been around for about four months, and probably will come close to that goal either way, but I was curious as to whether there's any set time limit. It's a little hard to tell.

You might on occasion see or hear about someone being told off or even blocked for edit-spam, that is, making a lot of edits in a very short time.
To my knowledge, that only ever happens to people who haven't introduced themselves on the board, haven't participated in the community and nobody knows who they are. Naturally, having someone like that making a lot of edits on our wiki, makes people a little edgy.
But that has nothing to do with what you're doing. Like the others have said, you're in the clear. So keep up the good work!

Minor detail: If you want to make a page for a notable Sue, s/he has to be nominated on the Board.

That's how I started out. I added a lot of PPC stories to their continuuum pages, created pages for agents that were written before the wiki was created, that kind of thing. Nobody seemed to hate me for it, and I'm still around, sooo...! If you see a need for something on the Wiki, add it!

Obviously, any and all SPaG-style mistakes you find are totally good to fix. We want our wiki to have just as good grammar as our other writings. The one caveat here is that some users prefer not to have their agents' pages edited, so unless you're just going in for a really simple misspelling fix, it's generally best to leave those alone.

As to making new location and characters pages . . . we really don't have any official rules there. Folks have always just made pages as they saw fit. Personally, I think a canon character should appear in several missions, and be a frequent victim of badfic trends, before getting a page on the wiki. Does anyone else have thoughts, there?

Back to loactions, I like the idea behind your Azeroth page. It keeps all the World of Warcraft locations' info to a single page (rather than the ninety-dozen Middle-earth location pages that currently flood the wiki) without stretching out the actual WoW page. I don't know that every canon needs a page describing its locations; that goes back to how well the canon is represented in the PPC's writings. I think we've certainly had enough WoW missions and Azeroth-born agents for this one to qualify.

So, to stop rambling, no, you aren't being overly industrious on the wiki. A wiki is a group effort by definition, and your help there is appreciated. Just use your common sense when wanting to make a new page, and think about how it relates to the PPC (the subject of our wiki, after all).

And that's not the sky that turns white in the presence of fire. That's my face going pale as my pyrophobia is triggered.

Some of the touch-up edits are rearrangements of words so that sentences flow better or the addition of parenthesis to reduce the number of commas in an otherwise very comma-full sentence.

Here have a flask of the very first batch of CAFfine. Made only of the best* Cute Animal Friends.

*Read as sickeningly twee.

Welcome a-Board, newbie! Please leave your shoes and any sanity you might have at the door, as they tend to make the floor dirty. Especially the sanity, as that's the stuff that drives people to becoming accountants *shudders*.

Anyway, as you're settling in it might be good to read the Original Series, as that's basically what this community is based on. Also, we try to eliminate bad writing, so you might want to read over your posts before you publish them to make sure there aren't any grammar errors, like those I's. I'm not going to blame you for it though, don't worry. I did the exact same thing when I was a newbie. Let me guess... too used to Microsoft Word fixing it for you?

Oh, and digi-gifts you say? Well those are my specialty! *Rummages around in the background, sending papers flying and throwing random objects in the air* Ah-ha! Here it is! A limeon! What is a limeon you say? It's part lemon, part lime and all misspelled! For all your citrus and SPaG (Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation) needs! Have fun, and welcome.

Hi there!

I like the idea of a CAD imploding for once, but you never know quite how badly it might do so...so have a black hole containment field. Just in case.

Anyway, welcome to the PPC!

I'm passing you off this penguin. I haven't been able to get rid of it for a few weeks. It eats fish.

Oh, also, have a couple malted eggs, I've got a few of those lying around...

Hi! Have some fudge!

Are you more of a Classic-Series Whovian or NuWho?

Glad to meet you, Isaac! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

If you want to ask any questions, feel free! We love answering questions.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Add a hydrophobic goldfish to your order for only 19.99$.

Have you read the Original Series yet? If not, get to it!

Welcome, 12! I'll call you 12. I like it.

Since you are a fellow Whovian, here, have a batch of TARDIS-shaped brass muffins. Yes, brass. You don't want to know how exactly I made brass edible. ^_^

Welcome to the board! Have this slice of cake. I spiked it with cold iron, silver, holy water, Goa'uld symbiote toxin, and pretty much every other thing that is lethal to nonhumans only. I mean, you are human. Right?

Hello! Have a graduated cylinder!
(and don't worry, the presents will slowly meander in as the Board gets checked and stuff.)

Welcome to the PPC, Isaac! As a welcoming gift, I give you a magic cookie and a tube of multi-colored glitter. Have fun.

Hello there faceless newbie! You seem to have answered all the standard questions before they were asked excepting one; e.g. what are your fandoms? Anyway, since you came here by way of TvTropes my gift to you is a Nice Hat. It changes style and color at the push of a button, yet somehow manages to always remain ostentatious.

Greetings, oblivious new friend! Help yourself to the bag of venomous arthropods! Don't worry; they won't bite!

So, tell us a bit about your fan interests! What fandoms do you follow? What kinds of fics (or other stories) do you like to read and write?

I won't sic them on you, but here's a Mini Balrog of your very own. Answers to the name Leglus.

n.b Feel free to yell at me if that one's already taken.

I see we share fandoms (Doctor Who, Hetalia and Harry Potter) and the tendency to collect fandoms like a dragon collects gold. I'd say you were my long lost twin but I already have one of those and I don't particularly want another. However, you are similar...therefore I'm going to read my own mind to see what to give you for a gift.
Hmm...*examines mind, then walks over and examines bookshelf* Have you read the Discworld series, by Terry Prachett? Or Neil Gaiman, he's got a ton of good stuff... And I've got The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy on here too. You know what? just have my entire bookshelf. the list would be too long if I named them all, but some of the highlights are: almost all of the volumes of Fullmetal Alchemist by Hiromu Arakawa, the first five volumes of Psyren by Toshiaki Iwashiro, most of the D. Gray-Man series by Katsura Hoshino, a couple of volumes of the Haruhi Suzumiya series, about half of the never-ending Discworld series, Ender's Shadow by Orson Scott Card (I lost my copy of Ender's Game), Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, and the Hunger Games trilogy. And that's not even half of them. Enjoy!

Hello and welcome to the PPC!

If you're worried about mini-Balrogs, here's some mini-Balrog repellent. It won't work on the mini-Hounds, though.

Hmmm... *digs in pockets* I have ten feet of purple string, half of a post earring, a blue crayon and a lemon drop. Here you go and welcome aboard.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the PPC. Don't worry, we don't sic beasties on newbies (usually).

*offers internet hugs* Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. And do hang around and chat, we like chatty people. :D

Have some *rummages through closet* ... No, not that, that's dangerous ... Not that either ... What is that?! Ah, here! Have some shiny stones and a fire axe as a welcomming gift.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Provided you survive the initial shock, do not consume hydrophilic water* 48 hours after drinking hydrophobic water.

You like Pokémon too? What's your favourite 'Mon? I like Glaceons myself (even if they occupy a niche so tiny they're useless).






*Yet another fine product courtesy of K-Blooee Industries.

Welcome to the club! Ooh, so many shiny fandoms that we happen to share... and you're here through Lily. Lily is Very Awesome, so I assume that you are too.

Here, Holmesian, have a deerstalker hat made of iron and decorated with bronze. It changes shape to adjust your head perfectly. Also, have a nickname: Intel. For me you're Intel now. :3

Welcome! Have a Humanity Tester (tm). It contains various materials that react to Sues and other dangerous creatures. Also, it can be used as a flashbang, stunning Sues long enough to get away.

HELLO AGAIN.
Nice to see you on here at long bloody last. We'll have plenty of fun kay? And in the meantime have a graduated cylinder to measure things with.

Greetings, new friend who is a friend of Lily! Help yourself to the sack of venomous arthropods. Don't worry; they don't bite!

. . . And, uh, try not to eat them . . . <_>

Yo, there Air. Im new here too. And i really wished i could have made my into better too.

If you are, have a turkeyfish!

If you aren't...have a glass of milk!

Well then.

...

That saved some time.

What...did I just read?

I second ThArcanist's motion of Goodfic, though I have absolutely no idea what just happened. This is the best crack!fic I've read in months!

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/The_Complete_List_of_PPC_Fiction

I recommend reading Neshomeh and Phobos's stuff.

When there are RPs someone will announce it here.

Also, you do know about permission, right?

Meaning that I am now the proud owner of one chibi-velociraptor agent.

As far as the ppc stories go, it depends on what kind of story you want to spork. Different fandoms end up looking a lot different in these stories, as do different kinds of fics. Reading them at random in fandoms that I actually know the ropes of is how I've been handling the massive wiki binge that is attempting to read the exploits of the PPC.

So, I read that if you leave broken equipment long enough, it creates it's own sentience. So my mind boggling question is;

What happens if you leave an entire RC suite full of the broken sentient devices for so long?

If you have questions, can you keep them all in one thread, please? Every new thread you make pushes an old thread off the front page, and the PPC's been fairly active lately as it is.

Not saying you've done anything wrong, just something to bear in mind in future. :)

Thanks!

- Cassie

RPs are usually conducted here or in the IRC chat. And, well, if you want to know what to write in a mission I suggest you read some missions - there are examples for the Departments of Intelligence, Mary Sues, Bad Slash, Mary Sue Experiments and Research, Bad Crossovers, etcetcetc. Figure out what you'd like to tackle, and read the already-published things so you know what you'd like to talk about in yours when you get around to writing them.

(And if you haven't noticed already, you can't start writing these until you get Permission.)

I rather like these interludes. I think I shall find more of them to read~

Cyba Zero and Eagrus Khan mission 1 can be found here:

http://cyba-zero.livejournal.com/931.html

Hopefully the link works.

Many thanks to Sevenswans for beta-ing.

Concrit welcome!

Loot:

1 soulmat, claimed by Cyba and Eagrus, although it may be loaned to any agents who know the correct magic from the Elder Scrolls continuum to use it as anything other than a doormat.
1 new wraith type, duly delivered to the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research, in a jar.

Mini-Colossi (a small army of them):

Mess Efekt (adopted by Cyba)
Joke (adopted by Cyba)
Geths
Gets
Sawvrin
Rapers
Sheperd
Rocks
Urdent Rocks
Andeson
Anersin
Jocker
Joking
Kaddin

No one, I'm sure, envies him the task of sifting through all the fiction. Hope he finds his root beer.

I really liked this! It has such a normal, daily grind vibe for something that takes place in HQ. It even shows some of the workings of the school systems and DoI procedures.

And Miss MacKinnon appears again! I'm getting more and more glad that I recruited her. :)

One typo: When Angus is talking to the hylian, "The spy woke her up be clearing his throat" rather than by clearing his throat.

Namely the mini called Rapers (misspelt Reapers), because of how it could be taken other than as rappers, the makers of rap music.

Should the existance of this one just be forgotten?

This edit will not get past the spam filter, for whatever reason. There seems to be some error because it always also flags up Agent Gaspard's RC as changed, even though I haven't touched it and there is no difference.

Edit is thus:

==Below -10==

* -273.15 - Agents [[Cyba Zero (agent)|Cyba Zero]] and [Eagrus Khan]

I want those Rocks.

I would very much enjoy a miniature pile of animated rubble to follow me around.

Can I adopt Urdent Rocks? Please?