Mar 2012 Archive, part b

I read this and...chapters are too short, the sue was to the extreme and couldn't find the will power to continue past chapter 5.

*gasps* I'll be needing some of that bleeprin.

A) This person has obviously never heard of the show-don't-tell concept.

B) I am ashamed of Canada now.

The fact that she can throw Saruman around like it's nothing indicates Sue!per strength. To whoever takes this I offer Agent Canta Enquëo, a LotR elf who was assimilated by the Borg back in December 2006 HST.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

*Deep breath*

Why, why, why? I thought we were good Jesus, I thought we were kind to you- apart from the killing you thing... Maybe we did have this coming.

Anyway, to paraphrase the story, thatwas...ingterribleandihopethatwhoevertakesuptherightfuldutyofkillingthisstorydoesit,knowingthattheywillbedoingtheworldafavour.

If you read that, good on you.

And by so far I mean the first chapter.

Fic: "Blablablablabla..."
Me: "Wait. What? I think I slipped up or down a line."

The only thing it lacks is the constant use of 'and then.'

Sorry, I think my brain just fused for a moment there...

It's one of THOSE fics. I've seen Implausible Crossovers before, but this is just plain ridiculous.

Can someone tell me where the Bleepka is?

Take a deep breath. Yes, the story is awful, but it's just fanfic. Remember, it cannot -actually- mess up Tolkien's world.

Generally, it's encouraged to put 'badfic' posts as replies to already established threads, because every new thread drives an old one off the front page, where people won't see it anymore.

(That said, ye gods this is bad. I wonder what it says that my first thought is "Gandalf? Wouldn't Morgoth be the first choice of Sauron's offsprings' guardian?)

(drowns self in bleeprin)
There are just so many things wrong with this fic...
Liketherandomlackofspaces, the blatantly obvious self-insert Sue, the atrocious grammar, and horrible punctuation.
Good luck to whoever sporks this thing.

Enjoy the complimentary food... and here's some more. An apple-pear.

Also, a free vocabulary word: gamine: an urchin.

Hi, and have some bleeprin! You never know when you'll need it, especially on the internet.

Welcome! Have a cupcake!


Packaged insanity, huh? Everyone knows the best insanity is unprocessed, organically-grown madness!

Welcome. Have some chopsticks. Good for hair things, food, knitting, and stabbing...stuff.

Oh, and you created a Fluttershy mini in your post.

Welcome to the Board, I see you have a fine array of interests there! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome. I guess you won't need the awesome-laced cookie. Have a stray Missingno. instead.

Glad to have you here. ^^ Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

PTerry! *holy horns* I approve mightily.

Indeed, you shall do well here. Just... don't ask for the worst the internet has, dude. That's tempting every perverse sentient sense of irony the multiverse possesses. :P

Greetings, new friend! Have a thinny! Just, uh, don't get too close . . .

Nightmare Moon is best pony.

PPC Informal Rule #1: Avoid tempting the Ironic Overpower whenever possible.

In other news, have a shiny knife.


It is good for killing things with. But most importantly, it is SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINYYYYYYYYY.

A fellow Australian, eh? And a brony too. Well, welcome to the PPC and all the insanity it brings. Here, take a pyrotechnic conifer and a copy of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone. But I warn you it's dangerous, the tree I mean :D

Seriously, I'm American. But hallo and welcome to the PPC!

Have a box of twinkies, for when the nuclear apocalypse arrives! Also, a Luggage-Mini from the Discworld. (It's named Eskarrina.)

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water! Half-life now reduced to 10^7 years!

Do you have an ff.net account?

Have a welcome back cookie. Also, here's a thingamabob. Use it wisely.

If you didn't make it up--you didn't even make the characters up--why are you making money off of it?

See, this is my problem with the whole post-Ludlum Bourne thing. At least that guy can write a bit will, though! *head shake*

The thing sucks, but Phobos did say it does have it's own universe, ripped off as it is.

On the other hand, it's a bad story based off a badfic. I can't see how this could get worse.

All of those not-sherlock-holmes stories that popped up after the short stories became popular. Just that this is not-Twilight.

It was originally intended to be a fanfic, however, it was eventually published as its /own/ universe. As such, I am in favor of treating it as a stand-alone series, despite its former status.

Also, let me just say, I never want to see a Twilight/He-Man crossover.

Ever.

/Ever./

But since it is published and intended to be read as its own universe, it must be protected like any other stand-alone 'verse.

That doesn't stop it from being ridiculous and possibly on the same level as Twilight, however.

Really? Just...really? How can this happen! I'm...I'm just going to go crawl into a corner and cry now.

It started as a fanfic. However, they changed the details and it got published, so now it is a separate work.

It has become its own universe. You could spork the original fanfiction, but not the work it later became.

That is how I see it.

IMO, it's an original universe, albeit not a good one. And now I'm seriously considering sporking it.

Personally, I think that it's Twilight knockoff...
Yeah, I think it would best if we treated this as a badfic and sporked this thing to the moon.

If it started as a fanfic, then it's a fanfic. Anything written based on it is fanfic.

What. The. Deuce.

Seriously?! If I thought I could pull it off, I'd be sending all my crappy Potterfic and Hetalia-fic to publishers. But alas...

It says a lot about Twihraka that all you have to do is change the names and get rid of the vampires, and you have a completely different (and still totally embleer) romance novel.

Someone needs to spork it. It's based on a badfic (Book!Edward, as far as I can tell, has no interest in BDSM), and a badfic with the names changed is still a badfic, ne?

If Jay and Acacia weren't in retirement, they ought to do it.

Actually... That would be kind of a cool story. The new members of the PPC pull the legendary Jay and Acacia from retirement to take on one last mission... 8D

And this is why some forms of literature should not be rewritten and published.

If the series had indeed began as fanfiction, then subsequently altered for the general public, hen I think it was done poorly for one critical reason: the underpinning tones and ideologies.

In fanfiction, IMO, it's relativly fine to, say, have these strange fantasies and whatnot about relationships and how they would turn out, etc. But if an author is writing for the general public, then that needs to entail the maturity and responsibility that can be expected of such a writer; real world experience needs to come to the fore here. Unfortunately, this doesn't appear to be the case.

As for your questions, I cannot provide solid answers on this one. Perhaps someone with more experience within the PC could answer?

...obviously the answer is "change all the names".

Minor thing with the Dear Author review: sometimes Kindle just randomly italicises whole pages for no reason. I don't know why. If it appears in the PRINT edition, then yeah, we have a problem.

Also, I did post a thread a while back about fanfics of fanfics. Can't remember what happened to it.

So we have a book, that is a disguised badfic of another book, that is itself believed to be poorly written (and IMHO a badfic itself)?

Dammit. Just... dammit.

My stand fot is that since it's a only slighty re-written fanfiction it doesn't have the "officially published" protection that even Twilight has, so it's killable and bad enought to be killed. With fire. Then bombs. Then NUCLEAR bombs.

And then Sun Crush the hell out of it. Just to be freaking sure this thing is dead.

If Stephanie Meyer decides to sue the hell out of it, it will be the only time you will see me AGREEING with her.

Just kidding. As a new person around the Board, I thought you might want to know that we're always supposed to use proper grammar and punctuation unless we're trying to prove a stylistic point or be sarcastic (see above).

Have a vanilla toffee. What fandoms do you like?

Welcome a-board! Have a wizard's hat; magic not included.

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Hello, hope you find the PPC welcoming and fun. Have this pyrotechnic conifer as a gift, just try to keep it away from anything flammable :)

Welcome to the Board, have a diamond shovel!

Welcome to the board! Have some Bleeprin, you may need it. Good luck!

Welcome from another newbie! Have a bottled explosion (Open away from face) and a hammerspace bag, good for up to 12 metric tonnes.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Now on par with most industrial-grade cleaning products!

Greetings, new friend! Have some Royalberry ice cream!

We love new people! We love 'em so much it's incredible, actually...

Here, have some Dutilleux for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIS5tpVM6Sc

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome! Here's a nice cardboard box for extra storage space - you may need it. If you have any chocolate you don't want, I'll eat it for you!

Have a pokeball filled with chocolate eggs.

Or rather, three pies and enough brownie to cover the .14 bit.

'Twas good.

http://youtu.be/KgeKx6O2cLQ

...Pity I'm English. It doesn't work over here. D:

...Then we'd get 3/14/15! (3.1415...Agh, did I really need to explain that?)

Trois pointe un quatre un cinq neuf deux six cinq trois cinq...

BONNE JOUR DE LA TARTE!

/French

Seriously, happy Piday! :D

Look at the letters 3.14 in a mirror. What do they spell out?

... this might be considered a fairly circuitous pun on Pi Day.

But you'd have to be loopy to think it was.

hS, having a ball

Yeah, happy π Day everyone.

At least for the past couple years. I will be running it again soon; I usually do it March-Aprilish. You were around for the last one, if I recall correctly. :P

... the reappearance of the Multiverse Monitor. Since it already Phoenixed once, it can do it again. But of course it should be in a completely new form, since the original (does anyone else remember that?) was for Boarders, featuring things like the Plotbunny Adoption Centre, while the second was a HQ tabloid.

hS

*adjusts unneeded glasses*

Well, yes, unfortunately, the cartoon is canon. It's published and authorized. As much as I hate to say it, the cartoon is part of the world. In a way, it is a world unto itself- as you say, there's a large size disparity. In the books, there was also a difference, but it wasn't quite so large. I'd say mice and rats would have had no more than a foot or so of height difference, or equivalent. Badgers probably would have been eight or nine feet tall or equivalent. Maybe ten for larger ones like Gorath. Hares might have reached six and a half as opposed to a mouse's five and a half, and I'd put foxes as five-foot-nine.

It all depends on whether you're writing for the cartoon or the books whether the sizing is correct. A mouse from the cartoon would probably be actual mouse-sized in HQ, like a mouse from Narnia, Celestia damn the place, while a mouse from the books would be able to look you or me in the eye and then claw it out if ze so desired. Good luck!

I'd suggest looking up the Redwall missions and agents on the Wiki. IIRC, the agents are all roughly around the same size as a human, and the buildings and trees in the canon seemed to be the same size to the animals that real world buildings and trees are to us.

Also, I never noticed any notable size differences in Redwall agents.

That is a problem. There isn't a comprehensive history. Your best source for the broad strokes is the wiki, specifically this page.

The incident you are referring to is probably one of the Mary Sue Invasions. Both can be found on the above page, but I am thinking you probably want this one.

Especially the Space core. *heart heart heart*

"Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long."
-Fact core

Excuse me while I boot up Steam to go play this for several hours...

I like the space one.
"Space. Space. Wanna go to space. SPAAAACE."

We have a list of RC numbers, bu no, 9777 isn't taken. I think that it's OK to reference stuff like the fedora, as long as it's not blatantly contradictory--as in, this isn't the agent's first mission.

Your choice of LOs for Marikane creeped me out massively. The first character is supposed to be seventeen and I can't figure the age for the second one but as far as I can tell she's supposed to be pretty young, too.

Beyond that, echoing what others have already said.

I know Neshomeh's already said her piece (not to mention that I'm not actually a Permission Giver,) but this needs to be said. I apologize in advance if this comes off as confrontational or accusatory.

This story isn't an adaptation of the original Red vs. Blue skit; it's almost a straight copy-paste. There are only a few points/modifications that I can see where it's actually original writing. This is not an example of your own work, which is what the community wants to see from these permission requests - how well you can write. Not the Rooster Teeth guys, but YOU. This just feels lazy.

Also, it's plagiarism. Which is bad.

One final note regarding something from your character bios. Asexuality does not mean "isn't looking for a relationship but still flirts with people." In broad terms, asexuals are individuals whom lack a sex drive and/or sexual attraction towards others. What you describe in Paul's bio under Sexual Orientation sounds closer to his being aromantic (that is, not interested in romantic relationships.)

*emerges from the all-consuming awesomeness that is A Song of Ice and Fire to actually do stuff*

Erm. Like it says, concerns. Mainly, these:

1) This bit: "Marikane often insults works he’s sporking in a dry tone, often skipping to scenes where there’s crime being done so he can get out of the badfic before his alcohol supply runs out";

and

2) the bits in the writing sample where people are insulted for thinking/liking one thing or another.

There are also miscellaneous mechanical issues, but I'm far more worried that your missions will consist entirely of skipping ahead to the next scene and calling the characters—or worse, the authors—"idiots" if they happen to like barbed wire tattoos or Metallica or whatever else is arbitrarily not cool.

I am looking for evidence in your character bios and writing sample to indicate that my concerns are groundless, but I'm not seeing anything. Your two agents have a lot in common when it comes to fandoms and such, you say, so I have no hope of one restraining the other when going overboard on matters of personal taste (which is one reason partners tend to be rather different, not the same). The writing sample is a bunch of dudes insulting each other and other people—and what it has to do with Glee I have no idea. Granted, I haven't seen that much of the show, but since it's spelled out that these characters are all your friends' or your own OCs and there's no plot to speak of, I can only assume the tie-ins are references I missed, which don't really make it a fanfic. Oh, and this:

3) "The Glee kids are doing... Whatever it is they do when I'm not at the puppet strings."

Not only is that an in-text author's note in the second sentence of the story, which destroys any hope of a reader being drawn into it, that's a pretty off-handed dismissal of the canon this story is supposedly set in. Where from this writing sample am I to draw the conclusion that the PPC canon will fare any better in your missions?

So, those are pretty big concerns, and as such I'm afraid I can't grant you permission at this time. Going forward, please bear in mind that insults are not in themselves funny, and merely insulting bad writing is not what we're here to do. We're ideally lovers of canon and good writing first, mockers of ridiculous writing second, and never insulting just for the sake of being insulting.

~Neshomeh

Rosalind's dialogue is quite impressive! It must have been difficult to write, going against the instinct to avoid redundancy. At least this department has some representation now!

I must ask, was there any particular inspiration for Haar? He seems creepily similar to Andy the Messenger Robot (Many Other Functions) from Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

Likes your department, I does.

Especially Haar's almost-monologue.

*Huggles them both*

Haar especially. But Rosalind is cool, too. :D

He looks good. I wonder how you'll manage writing a not!Holmes, however. One in the PPC will certainly be an interesting menace if- and you seem to suggest it- he is much like the canon he was intended to be.

That said, "enough likes and I'll post his partner" is bad. You either post them or not. You don't withhold for the hope of gaining attention or positive interest. That is a poor attitude, and withholding for attention is the realm of the bratty and those who feel they deserve special treatment.

Agents work in conjunction; while they may be singluar characters we also have to judge them with how they combine with their partner(s). One agent like this is interesting, PPC-wise. Two agents like this means you missed the mark, and so on.

Also, line breaks are your friend. Use them.

-July, onna phone

Ah, yeah, those two guys. Well, they already sounded pretty sound to me back then, and that hasn't changed. I think they have potential for lots of Fun.

Whenever I see Gaspard's name, I always, always want to say Gaspard de la nuit after the trio of Ravel piano pieces. I'm not sure why myself, but... there we have it.

So... concrit? Well...

This is certainly very different from a standard PPC mission. Of course, it is an intelligence report, so that would call for that situation.

I really like how it read as a journal-type thing of the Intelligence agent's thoughts on the fic as he goes through it. It's especially telling that you get a ton of personality oozing from the pages: you can just tell that the agent doesn't want to be there, and that snarking about it is the only way he can deal with it. I also like that the report reads like the narration of a film noir movie, since there's something dead-pan like about it.

I also like that you listed off things that were wrong with the fic at the end of the report, as well as listing characters off. That made much of it feel like a real report, in addition to being able to really get down and dirty with the fic in question.

If there's one thing I feel was lacking, it's that I felt a major lack of focus on the part of Gaspard himself, as well as the other characters. The brief blurb at the beginning of the report did a good job of establishing the scene, but I would've liked to have them have more of a presence, if not during the report at least during the little introductory thing. I felt like the characters barely had any screen time for us to really get to know them all that well, and I think it made the report too depersonalized. I would've liked to get more of a sense of Gaspard as a person before he enters the fic, and before the report begins.

But other than that, it was a very enjoyable read.

Just want to make sure.

Always happy to do something collaborative. I have Mittens, the RMC, Saxo and James. I can use all of them or any combination, depending on what the message is. You can get to me at e_ebert@hotmail.com

Once I get permission, I will gladly use my agents Percy and Vorce. Heres my email InterdimensionalSTD@gmail.com

But I don't have permission yet. -_- Maybe when I do?

Using my agents, Doc and Vania.

keyoflit(at)yahoo(dot)com

This seems... interesting...

This might very well turn out to be their first real mission (or whatever .) I must work double-time to prevent that from happening!

If you need my email or something, just let me know. Although, maybe you shouldn't pull characters from 'all across the board'. Some people haven't posted in quite a while, i.e. Gaijinguy, who have agents.

If this goes ahead, I'd be willing to write an agent reaction. It would probably be Arthur Briggs and/or Lynn Gillies, but I may be creating an open-for-use Medical NPC (it depends on just how the conclusion of my current target goes).

LLWattsATjunoDOTcom, with the usual anti-spam edits.

I have agents in Floaters and Mary Sues. My email address is pitviperofdoom@gmail.com

When I get permission. Agents Ivan and Thomas O'Donell at your service, Department of Mary Sues.
Email at UZL2S@hotmail.com

I'll co-write!

Robert Vernet and Mundar o' the Five Hills, Department of Floaters, at your service.

(If I can get Permission, that is. I think my boys will pass, but... ^^;)

... I would be happy to co-write. My three (current) agents in Floaters, and Luxury (providing no one can any problem with me doing so).

To be honest, I have no real problem with some status quo being shaken up, seeing as there is some forewarning. Could bring some new life into the PPC (well, except for the deaths).

I know, I know, it's on hold for the moment. But that doesn't mean I can't volunteer my DIC and Floaters agents to the cause, right? I might even throw Zerenze in for good measure.

Discussing issues with betas. Hold may become indefinite (or more accurately, lead to this being released as AU). More when I've got it. ;)

hS

(And isn't it a good thing I asked for betas?)

Hmm, not sure how involved everyone might be on this, but I', willing to place my two agents at your disposal (not as if they have done ANYTHING, yet)

church2009(at)live(dot)com(dot)au (hopes no spambot picks up on this)

I'll offer up Ian and Lee as well as Orion and Mal. My e-mail is on the beta page, but in case you don't know it, here it is: code.name.schroeter@gmail.com.

I mean, not for the beta-ing, but for the responses. I'll write something with Agents Ari and Tera, and if this trilogy comes out after Sergio Turbo and I finish our two-mission-cowrite, then I have a third newbie agent I'll include as well.

I really don't know where you're gonna go with this, and I don't know whether I'm gonna like it, but I'd like to volunteer writing a short bit with Ardo and Noir - after all, I haven't done anything with them in a while and I can surely squeeze something inbetween the last mission and the new, WIP one.

Expect a mail soon.

Simply judging by the wording of your post, this is something that will affect all members of the PPC, even those that aren't participating. As I recall, last time we did this it put some people off, to put it mildly.

Speaking as a layman with neither the will nor the qualifications to participate, I think it might be a good idea to give us some more information.

I'm leery of anything that would effect the status quo, as well. However, I trust you more than other people who've attempted such things, and I'm curious to see what this is.

I've got two agent pairs (one DMS, one Floaters,) and one pair of infrastructure type guys. Not sure which would be the best, although I should mention I haven't actually written anything dedicated to the latter two groups yet. My email is on my wiki page.

Well, having read that post, my eyebrows slowly descend into the atmosphere again. You made me curious.

I'd write something, most likely with my (not yet used) DOI agent TooManySecrets.

:P

Echoing Neshomeh, however.

And my lot for writing with.

Shaking up the status quo, eh? You have my attention. I'd be willing to cowrite a little something for the cause.

Depending on what this mysterious Message is, I'll probably contribute something from one (or two, or all) of the following agent groupings:

-- Xericka and Gremlin, Department of Bad Slash
-- Cornelius and (possibly) an unnamed partner, Department of Improbable AUs
-- Hazel and Farce (not yet introduced,) Department of Bad Parody

My email is reillybf AT msn DOT com. Just replace the all-caps words with the appropriate symbols.

I've been under the impression that we were in favor of the status remaining more quo than not, since the last time somebody shook it up certain repercussions were not widely appreciated. If it was anyone else proposing this, I imagine we'd jump on it pretty quickly, so I feel obligated to at least raise a suspicious eyebrow here. If something is going to happen that will affect everybody, I'm not sure mysterious is the right approach. More fun, maybe, but only if we like the surprise at the end.

That said, I've never been able to resist a cameo, so I'm in if I like it. {; P I'd be writing for a fair bit of FicPsych, my DIC team, and my DMS team. You have my e-mail, yes?

~Neshomeh

I'm not here often these days; in fact, it seems I'm here so little that some people have forgotten I exist, lol.
But I have been here quite a while, so if the wild beta population runs a bit thin I can contribute there.
And I will try to contribute regarding the third - I don't know who I'll use yet, but they will be my own characters, not general-use NPCs or Flowers, so at least anyone I use there'll be only one person writing them, heh.

This intrigues me and also makes me a little nervous. :P

I'm volunteering to beta-read! I've been around since 2008, so I hope that's long enough, and I've read a lot of missions and other pieces from all over the PPC.

Also volunteering to co-write; I have a large number of Agents, as anyone who's seen my userpage on the wiki can tell, from a variety of departments. I'll write with some of them (not sure which exactly yet), so there shouldn't be any issues with other people wanting to write them. On that note, when is this set? That may affect which Agents people use.

Not sure if you have my email, but here, this is the one I prefer to use for PPC stuff:

cassie.dramateacher AT googlemail DOT com

Not sure, but my agents are 14 and 15 and I got Permission.

I'm not sure but I think the youngest agent is twelve years old, but that's really on the limit.

Remember the horrors that lurk in HQ and the badfics. There has to be a basic level of psychological development to be able to stand this.

Hai and welcome! HAve some chocolate!

Hai and welcome! Have some chocolate!

Welcome a-Board, and have some home-made Bleepolate truffles!

I know what you mean about the video game fic; I've only ever braved the Tales of Symphonia section, and I ran screaming from that. I applaud your courage.

Hey there, and welcome to the PPC!

Have a nice brown coat! It's warm, but it might get you into bar fights.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have some Swiss Chocolate and a bottle of Bleepka. You'll need them soon.

Oh, and have a Linking Book to Edanna.

Always nice to see some new boarders. Enjoy your new cumulonimbus-in-a-bottle. Just don't let it out, unless you want to get wet. Or shocked.

We love the newbies, so please, step inside!

Here, have some Lutoslawski for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgwlzo4oUsU&feature=g-vrec&context=G27d112eRVAAAAAAAAAA

Have a popsicle of the raspberry variety.

Here, have a conical hat and a cinnamon roll!

The hat is made of tin foil and duct tape! Guaranteed to be indestructible and keep the conspiracy theorists out!

The cinnamon roll also has lemon and blueberry in it.

Make yourself welcome and take this pyrotechnic conifer, they're all the rage recently. What other fandoms do you like besides Pokemon? :)

Welcome to the PPC!
Have a Golden Apple, perfect for distracting any pursuers you might have and making a clean getaway.

Welcome to the PPC! Sadly, my knowledge of video games is limited to some Zelda and mostly Portal. Have a special-issue titanium spork, stolen from my older brother! (Yes, he has one.)

Have you read Pratchett or Jim Butcher?

Hi, have some fudge!

Greetings, new friend! Here, take this!

MYSTERIAL recieved HM01!

HM01 is CUT! Use it to get past trees! You can also use it in battle.

I'm AnnaBee. Vague liker of Pokemon (Portal's more my thing) and ditto-newbie.

*tosses you a Bleepolate bunny in a green foil wrapper*

Actually, I'm in need of someone who can help me with a hideous Sherlock Holmes/Pokemon crossover fic. You in?

Welcome to the PPC, Mysterial! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Pokemon, eh? A somewhat guilty pleasure of mine, that. :P Glad to have you here, in any case! Hope you enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the board! Here's a hammer that makes everything look like a nail. Good luck keeping the rest of your sanity!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Product definitely not involved in the Great Big Mysterious Explosion of 1992.

So what specific fandoms are you into, aside from Pokémon?

The Awakening - Rated T
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7386853/1/The_Awakening

Emma has always been different since 10 yrs ago. One winter day Emma finds a cute kitten out on the streets of Hylia Island of Michigan 20 million years into the future. The kitten is no ordinary kitten...he is indeed the infamous Wind Mage - Vaati.

It's the same 'Sue by the same author in a different story from the one I've just sent Gaspard into, only worse. From what I can glean from the first three chapters, Emma is the reincarnation of the Hero of Time and is sent on a quest so that she may become a goddess herself. Add the fact that Vaati from Four Swords is thrown in as a sidekick/love interest and that Emma has killed five fellow classmates by burning them to death and feels no remorse for it, and we've got ourselves a fic ready for sporking.

I might just do an Intel report on this: the author's ramblings and horrible SPaG make it funny to read.

Spain's older sister? Honkon? What is this, I don't even

... Does this person KNOW history?!

Or even Hetalia canon?!

Hi! Your welcome fudge is on its way, with all the intro posts I had waiting this morning the supplies are running low.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

Have a sharp dagger as a present!
(Don't ask what the glittery stuff is. Don't like the knife, either)

Greetings, new friend! Have a bar of dirt! Excellent for uncleaning things.

Sweet! *dance*

Though honestly, Bioware's kind of killed any chance of me getting DA3 thanks to that stunt they pulled with Mass Effect 3's ending. I mean, seriously, Bioware?

In all honesty, though, Dragon Age is a pretty cool franchise.

So welcome to the PPC! =D

Here, have some Schoenberg for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6LyYdSQQAQ

Hey there! Have my patented home-made Bleepolate truffles, with all-new spring flavors!

July pretty much covered the bases for how to get involved, and I second the whole involved-in-community.

Man, I love Zelda, and I really really need to finish Dragon Age and play the other games. Most of my experience with Persona was a tabletop system. I have the games, though; I really need to play them sometime.

Yeah, the best place to go from here--besides keep hanging around the Board, of course!--is to just sit back and read. It'll be hours of good entertainment, as well as just telling you a lot about us and what we do.

Welcome a-Board!

It's a long and difficult road ahead of you, friend. But you can start by taking care of this wild haggis that I captured(I call him "sheepmeat") and getting yourself a claymore, and I'll see you on Friday for caber tossing lessons. We'll make a Scot out of you yet!

Oh, you mean the board. Well that's much more mundane. Read the Original Series and the Constitution, check the wiki, you'll have it in no time.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Proven to contain just as much energy as U-235 with half the stability!

Welcome to the PPC, Minty.

You started off with an excellent first step, which is introducing yourself here.

Now, the next bit, if you haven't done it already, is to read TOS- the original PPC series that was written by Jay and Acacia- and then the various spinoffs that catch your eye.

Since you're interested in LoZ and Dragon Age you might be interested in Aster's spinoff, which I am sure she will be glad to link to you when she sees this thread. She has more than a few LoZ

Beyond that, just hang around! Read our wiki! Ask various levels of stupid and not-so-stupid questions (preferably in threads that are already present)! Plug badfic to bemoan over (preferably in threads that are already present)! Plug goodfic to rejoice over (preferably in threads that are already present- we also have a rec center on the wiki)!

The super important thing though is to take part in the community. Comment on threads! Read spinoffs! Join in on the bemoaning and the rejoicing and the random! Take part in conversations here on the board and in the chatroom. Get to know everyone here.

But again, welcome! And feel free to join in on the chatroom.

Have a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. There's a Blue Eyes White Dragon in there, somewhere. :)

And I'm not entirely sure, I'm a n00b too. We can be n00bs together in our n00bness.

*cheers* I haven't read HP either.

I thought I was the only one.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Welcome, have some chocolate, won't you?

Nice range of interests. Personally, I can't stand this "Tweenie-pop" craze going around either, yet I have nothing against most of the actors/singers involved... though I despise Twilight.

Thanks goodness for Phineas and Ferb, though...

Hello, newbie! Have a crate of emergency bleeprin! There might even be a Discworld book in there!

Greetings, new friend! Have a cup of Disney magic!

What sorts of things Do you like? Because I can tell you I have only read two of the Harry Potter books, I have never read Twilight, and, well...

We just wanna know what you like.

Anyway, here, have some Messiaen for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qp7Htsdo3M

I'll stick with you! 'Cos Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all!

Have a Bleachinator. It makes bleeprin out of bleach and asprin. ^^

'Ere, have a conical hat and a tea biscuit!

The hat is made from tin foil (to keep out the conspiracy theorists) and duct tape (to make it indestructible*) and the tea biscuit has got cheese in.

*hat is not actually indestructible. Tray-Gnome is not responsible for any damage incurred while wearing said hat. Hat is waterproof, and potentially also knife-proof. Hat is most definitely not knoife-proof.

We're not all wired to this website 24/7, we've all got lives to attend to.

That being said, welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Ban on the product now lifted in 25 different universes!

I get the feeling you're holding back horrendous insults. If that's the case, fire away. I sort of expect them.

Kai and Xev from Lexx. If their TV show was anything REMOTELY less close to an acid trip, these two could be interesting.

Your mileage may vary in regards to the quality of the movie in question here, but I'll give it a shot anyway.

The entire cast of Nadesico: The Prince of Darkness. The movie was completely pointless, nothing any of the characters did actually mattered, and the final battle was an utter curbstomp. The entire cast had already shown that they could be good characters in the TV series, even if some didn't get as much development as they should have, and they still had some entertaining moments in the movie. However, there was no reason to bring them all together again apart from simple nostalgia, which wasn't enough to prevent it from being meaningless in the end. I don't know what went wrong between the show and the movie, but they deserved a much better sendoff than they got.

On that note, Lapis Lazuli, also from Prince of Darkness. I don't know who she is or where she came from or anything at all about her, other than that she has a ship apparently as powerful as the Nadesico and is probably from the same program that made Ruri the child genius that she is. There's just enough from her one appearance to raise plenty of questions, but all of them go unanswered. There might have been a sequel planned, but as it is, she is still a mystery wrapped in an enigma with a ribbon made of question marks, and will likely remain that way forever. Poor girl didn't even get a chance.

Not TECHNICALLY a character, but I would have to say the vampires from The Mortal Instruments. My reason? Mainly because they come off as so horrible snobbish that is comes around to hilarious.

... Also, not to infringe on the thread or anything, but I was wondering if I could use Agent Suicide (name only, and a small, brief visual mention) for something that may come out some time soon. I could the contents and what exactly I would like to use him for along to Phobos or Nesh or someone who has some wy to contact you, of course.

I wanted to rescue a lot of characters from the Nightside books, just because the author has an unfortunate habit of coming up with something extremely cool/creepy and then killing them off in the next five pages. The Lamentation in particular comes to mind; it just seems like such a waste to make an abomination of that caliber and then just blow it up without it actually getting to do anything.

I'd have to say Davis Bloome from the latter Smallville seasons. He had potential: The whole Jekyll/Hyde thing he had going on was actually a pretty interesting take on the Doomsday character...and then they derailed him into a complete sociopath because...um...uh...CHEDDAR!

Not quite what you're talking about, but I never liked what happened to Stark's character in his later appearances in Farscape. I love the show to death, but it's like the writers forgot that his craziness when we first met him was an act, and he became sort of a stock lunatic to make bad decisions and mess things up (as if the crew of Moya needed help making bad decisions and getting into trouble—hah!). I was disappointed, and I would've liked to give him a better deal. Also, I have a soft spot for dudes with only half a face. >.>

More on topic, Brom from Eragon. I don't remember much about the book and I never read the other ones, but I remember that he was interesting, and in the hands of a better writer his adventures would probably be pretty fun to read. And maybe Saphira, too. I understand she gets pretty well shafted by her rider, which is not cool. I know! Let's give Saphira to Brom instead of that dumb kid, what's his name, and let them be the main characters!

~Neshomeh

I've always wished that I could pull Alois Trancy out of the train wreck that is Kuroshitsuji Season 2.

Renesmee Cullen. If I could get her into another series, she could grow up with a name that isn't completely ridiculous, in a family that isn't going to force her into a relationship that's the endorsed result of child grooming. She may be a proto-Sue, but nobody deserves that.

Even if just in-canon. Granted, I've never actually read her novella, but still.

Alice from Twilight would be my first thought. I know, I know, people think she's just as annoying as Edward and Bella/ a Sue in her own right. But in the hands of a GOOD author (as opposed to Smeyer), the minor characters' stories are actually INTERESTING.

Especially if you take the tack that getting turned into a vampire can't fix crazy. Then Alice is a BRILLIANT character.

She's been driven mad by a low-level psychic talent she can't control, and spent most of her adolescence in the nuthouse. She can see her future, and can sort of control it, but doesn't always have the good judgement to make the choices that will get her there. She is kind of manic, and makes really bad choices (e.g. stealing fast cars) on a regular basis. She's an incurable optimist, even though (Being a vampire) there's not much to be optimistic about. Oh, and she's in love with a guy who's a stone-cold killer, and doesn't understand why everyone else doesn't like him.

Maybe I'm reading her character wrong, but that's how I saw her.

while ducking the flames thrown at her Said Bookism. "Hey, this is kind of fun!"

I love rping as well. Like you I haven't been doing it recently but want to get back into it. What are your favorite settings?

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this six-pack of Creative Juice as a welcoming present.

"Have a crate of Bleepka!" The Boarder then dragged in the crate and offered it to the newbie.

"Take the customary gift of a pyrotechnic conifer, and please do make yourself comfortable. Perchance you could tell us your fandoms and what you like to RP?"

I gift unto you a stuffed rabbit named James. Treat him well.

Welcome to the board. Here's a hammer, now go fight Sues. Or stop implausible crossovers. Or something.
Good luck, and may the Force be with you.

Wow that's a lot of warm welcomes, thank you for all of that. I'm sensing a common theme of giving gifts here, I like that.

Since the popular question of the day is what fandoms I like, here's the list of stuff that I can remember at the moment.

Golden Sun
Fire Emblem
Zelda
Mass Effect
Chrono Trigger
Assassin's Creed
Team Fortress 2
Minecraft
Metroid

Really though, I like all sorts of stuff.

Welcome to the PPC! What sort of fandoms are you into?

Welcome a-board! Have some 2-D glasses; guarenteed to compress that pesky extra dimension!

Here, have some free... um... novelty mugs in the shapes of heads of roosters.

Yup.

Have a scone!

What fandoms do you have?

Have a folding car. It becomes a (rather heavy) case when not in use. Careful, it has an annoying tendency to unfold for no reason at all.

Have a biscuit. ^^; They're made with chocolate chips and cream.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the PPC!

Here, have some Prokofiev for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_tiG34Y3lY

Welcome to the Board, have some chocolate, won't you?

"It's good to have you a-Board!" The chicken ruffled its feathers and a pillow fell out. "Have a Down Pillow of +5 Softness! Tie it to your feet, and you'll automatically Feather Fall!"

"By the way," he added, "what are your fandoms."

As the title said, hello there! Here, have a crooked staff. No, I've no idea what it does. Found it in my basement the other day. I'd recommend dropping by the IRC channel and saying hi. Word of warning, though: The weirdness might fry your brain. :P

Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! The tried and tested formula can now dissolve even the strongest chemical bonds in an instant! Keep away from matter, antimatter, and reality.

So, what are your fandoms?

Well, you can start APPLYING for Permission whenever. But you won't have a chance of GETTING it until:
A.You've been here for a month.
B.You're known by a lot of us.
C.Um...Stuff.

I think you've been around for a month, and you've been pretty active, so go for it!

In the words of the Wiki "whenever you feel comfortable and confidant with it." (Or something to that effect. -_-)

From what I know, there's no set period. As long as we all know you, then you're fine.