Mar 2012 Archive, part a

Saturday, the 31st of March, starting at 10 AM.

It looks like the weekend of ECCC works for everyone, but the caveat I'm seeing is "If we pick a date/time soon," so-- anyone got a good idea of a definite time/date/place in that general range?

My last final's on April 18, and I don't think I'll manage to get home before then.
Oh well.
Another time, then. You guys take plenty of pictures. :)

Depends on work shtuff, but if we figure out something soon, I can ask for the day off.

So long as a date/time/location can be agreed on more than fifteen minutes in advance, I can probably make it.

I'll also be in Seattle for ECCC, but I may also be able to make a gathering between the 21st and the 25th.

I'll be in the area March 29th to April 2nd, so there's some flexibility-- do any dates in that range work for anyone else?

Welcome to the PPC! Have a hairy regexp, and please leave your sanity in the bin by the door.

*stumbles in, unneeded glasses askew and wearing pyjamas*

Well, it seems everyone else has already gotten around to it, but I'll say it too anyway. Welcome, newcomer! Have some Bleep-products!

Well, this is the initiation, really. We all flock and greet you, throw you Bleep-products, Pith Helmets, and, in the case of Turtle, hydrophobic water. Whatever you do, don't drink the hydrophobic water. Bad idea is bad.

Well, you might want to read the Original Series first. That's your canon, so pay close attention. If you're not a LotR fan, I suggest the wiki. You won't learn as much or as well, but it serves as a substitute. It also contains links to many other PPC works.

If you love Redwall, I would suggest talking to Burnsie (Laburnum Steelfang). Ze's working with Kit to write an OFU, and may also answer to Hemlock, which is a male self. Hence the gender neutral pronoun. Ze's also good for Welkin Weasels, Discworld, and other semi-obscure fandoms. Also operates in Penguins of Madagascar.

If you're into My Little Pony, I'm just one of a good number you can talk to. It is as the show says- "Friendship is Magic". And there's a lot of it to be offered here. The boarder who write Fritz and Silias is also a Brony, last I checked. Ze was the brave being who tackled "Cupcakes".

A good boarder to talk to for just about anything is HerrWozzeck. Ze's pretty cool.

I would also like to say wait a while before firing a Permission Request. I remember filing mine too damn early and it was rejected because I wasn't well known enough. I still haven't filed a second one- partly because I lost the doc, and partly because I've been active in a rather sparodic manner of late.

All the best, AnnaBee!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water! Handle with care, do not mix with reality.

Hi! Well, technically there's an initiation thingie for female agents, but that's only if you want to write it. Have a mini trebuchet, designed for mini-Aragogs, mini-Balrogs, and Misspelled Monkey!

Have some chocolate.

I'm a perpetual n00b myself. We can be total newbs together, and feel free to ask all the dumb questions you like, cause I do it all the time.

I am sure they will come in useful. *nomming fudge*

Have a Holy Hand Grenade! (Do not use near lagomorphs. Count to three before use. Not four, and five is right out.)

We here at the PPC deal with shyness by ignoring it completely! *glomps*

The only initiation is us giving you presents and helpful advice. Have a broken yardstick and a sock full of rocks! I'm sure you'll find some use for them.

It's always awesome to have enthusiastic newbies like yourself. ^^ And my, what an impressive list of fandoms. I approve.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object to aid you in your sporkings.

Hi, have some fudge!

I like the cut of your jib, sailor. We share lots of fandoms, and it's awesome that you're jumping right in and posting in other threads. ^_^

Here, have a bumper sticker! It says, "My agent sporked your Mary Sue." Use it wisely.

~Neshomeh

Greetings, new friend! Have a—BEE! Where's my flyswatter?

Oh. You aren't a bee. You're just an AnnaBee. My mistake.

Have a bucket of soapy water!

BTW, what are your fandoms?

Well, you do have to get Permission by hanging around here for a month and making yourself known a bit. We have an IRC channel, and we have this board, so as long as you post with some amount of frequency so people here will know who you are then you'll be good to go once you ask for Permission in a month.

Welcome to the PPC! :D

Here, have some Giancinto Scelsi for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GZgbt9sTcY

So. My name's AnnaBee, because the agent I'm kicking around is named Anna Beilschmidt. I'm a random person who stumbled upon the PPC when trying to fix my friend's universe (The Mary Sues burned). After falling in love with the PTerry references, the acerbic wit, and the constant sporking, I sicced Jay and Acacia on the Greek God my friend felt it necessary to add.

That's about it.

Yes there is an initiation process. It's very dangerous...only a few manage to gather the courage to go through with it...*plays dramatic music* You have to...
Say hi. *DUN DUN DUN*!!!
Seriously though. Welcome a-board!

Although, if you haven't already, you should probably read the PPC constitution(there's a link on the wiki) and also read the Original Series (also linked on the wiki).

Hope to see you around!

Sometimes when something is just too bad, it's best to leave it be. Creating a mission requires material you can make funny... and if something is agonizingly difficult to write there's a pretty good chance that it won't ever be that funny.

I'm giving up on a mission of mine, too... it's better as an unspoken noodle incident to be referred to in other missions than as a mission itself.

Name: Anna Beilschmidt. Name she was born with is Moonracer Roxanne Beilschmidt, due to Extremely Bad Parenting. She HATES it.
Appearance: Chin-length white hair, ghastly pale skin, and red eyes. She's half-albino, half-vampire, and dangit, it does NOT look good. Wears thick, black glasses, and suits with skirts. Her left leg is twisted, due to a tragic accident in the gene pool... She can't really put any weight on it. She has to wear a brace and use a cane; if she's travelling any distance, she uses a wheelchair.
Personality: Arrogant, a wee bit sarcastic, logical, and a *bit* of a Flat Earth Atheist. In short, your average Agent. Tends to try to take charge of things. Even when other people don't want her to. Speaks both French and German, and curses fluently in the latter. Takes copious notes of things that happen in a black Moleskine. Just a wee bit anal-retentive. Yells at people a lot. She takes after Hetalia-Germany more than her father.
Parentage: Prussia (APH) is her father, Sabine (VtM OC) is her mother.

First off, welcome. Haven't gotten around to greeting you in the official thread, but whatever.

To answer you question: No one ever said you had to bring your character over from that RP exactly how she was in the RP. You can (and should) edit, tweak, and re-imagine until you have a character that you are comfortable using. I'm sure you can find someone around here to go over the concept with, to get get some feedback on how to de-Sueify that character.

Also, you have lots of time. No need to rush it on creating agents.

-Phobos

There was some tricky, serious dialogue in this interlude. It's difficult to get characters talking when they're all trying to dance around a problem like this, but I think you handled it well and kept everyone's lines realistic.

I also liked the dream sequence opening. The details were very vivid, which brought to life, for me, why it was so harrowing for Cindy.

Now, uh . . . I'm a little disappointed in Xanthus and Anneli for never thinking to bring Cindy to FicPsych. I understand them wanting to take care of her on her own, and I realize she would have resisted every step of the way. However, I still think the other two agents should have at least brought it up as a possibility. It just seems a little overly stubborn to me that they never even discuss trying to get Cindy there.

Finally, some mistakes I caught:


A "to" is missing from here somewhere. (strive not to repeat)

The ending . . . uh, greater than sign? Andalite . . . talky . . . thingy. Is, uh, missing. Off the end there. (>)

(Wow. The Board does not like Andalite dialogue.)

That was a most Excellent piece of writing. Very emotional and very well done. Most definitely entertaining to read!

In short, Excellent Job!

Trebu-Che Guevara? Or possibly the 'Pumpkin Acceleration Device,' or P.A.D.

Can you link to pictures at some point? Do you have chosen targets?

For a name-- it was the name of a battering ram, not a catapult or trebuchet, but Grond is the only named siege weapon in the Siege of Gondor.

Maybe Terry-buchet?

Nex.

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfernschpleden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

Little Sally.


Oh, I don't have a reason. I just think it'd be fun.

puns appreciated, but not required.

Mission link: http://alania-ppc.livejournal.com/1251.html

This is a ST:TOS Mary Sue mission.

---
Overall, I liked this mission. The Curse Of The Redshirt was handled well; Infinity is justified in interpreting the events as ordinary clumsiness and/or ill fortune, and Lócë is justified in interpreting the events as Redshirt Effect.

It seemed a bit odd that Lócë tried to change his disguise through the RA, instead of using a DORKS, but this is a mission from 2006. I don't see a date for the DORKS' invention on the wiki, but it's certainly possible that when the mission was written going through the RA (and the console) was the only way to alter a disguise.

However, I have to wonder what Infinity is doing in the Department of Mary Sues. Vulcans may be generally non-violent, but they are capable of killing and practice a canon martial art with at least one deadly maneuver. Infinity's extreme pacifism, in and of itself, isn't bad. But it makes me wonder why she signed on to be an Assassin in the first place. It seems a bit late for her to be objecting to the job requirements.

I'm not sure who wrote these. I didn't see the author listed on the mission heading, or anywhere on the wiki, so I don't believe I have read this author before. I know I have never read these agents before. This is more negative than I would normally like to be, but I have tried to include the things that I liked and thought were well done.


Notes in parenthesis, while generally entertaining became distracting and brought me out of the story when they were happening in multiple, successive paragraphs. There were a total of twenty of these in this mission. I have a personal bad habit of wanting to make this kinds of statements when I talk or chat. I usually manage to cut them down in chat, you're just out of luck if you talk to me directly, anyway I know the temptation to use these, but they really make the writing look amateurish. If it was perhaps one or maybe even two in the mission, it would probably be tolerable, but twenty is way too many.

I'm not sure how Dee could think that Milask is a pet if he is the same kind of cat as Cat on Red Dwarf was. Cat was very clearly more humanoid than feline.

Dee is really not making a very good impression on me. I think she is trying to be funny, but she is really coming across as unneccesarily mean. It started with continuing on the pet thread after being told several times that Milask is not a pet, asking if he needed a litter box, and just generally not listening to him, and then the comment below, was almost funny. It made me think of the Cat and his wardrobe, but the 'I don't wanna!' whining followed by her stating that being nice is no fun, ruined the funny for me. I like reading about nice people most of the time. At least when it is people that are not nice, I like them to be up front about it. Nume is not particularly nice, but he tells you about it. Orken tries very hard to not be nice, and he also is up front about it. I guess I don't want to empathize very much with characters that are sneakily not nice.

"Great, not only was her partner not of the same species, but he was vain also. The list just went on and on... 'Be nice,' her inner voice admonished. 'But I don't wanna!' she whined. Being nice, or attempting to be nice, was no fun.


"I get the picture," said Milask, putting up his hand in annoyance.

And now we have Milask being short when Dee wasn't being particularly annoying.

Milask went down on all fours and chased after Harry,

Admittedly, I haven't seen the seventh and eighth series of Red Dwarf, but I can't imagine Cat ever getting down on all fours to chase anything. Whinging about how could anyone expect him to chase anything in a suit like this, would be something I would expect. 'What and mess up this hair?' I can imagine him saying. One of my favorite scenes with the Cat is early on, he has a little spray bottle and he's walking down the halls spritzing everything. "This is mine. And this is mine. And this is mine. And this is mine, too. Oh look, this is MINE." He certainly wasn't pulling down his drawers and using bodily fluids. And that was the thing that made him so funny for me. He was acting like such a cat, while at the same time showing that his species had evolved into something so much more.

COMPLETE CHARACTER RUPTURE IMMINENT!!!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!!!]

Dee raised her eyebrows: Makes-Things had obviously been watching too much Lost in Space.

I liked this one. It made me smile, and there were no odd agent reactions pulling me back from smiling about it.

"You're not a feline! At least... not right ...now," she said, looking him up and down. Damn tall person (who used to be a cat). Actually... he didn't look too bad as a human...

What is this? The Cat on Red Dwarf was just a catboy, not a shapeshifter. This is really becoming my complete focus in reading this mission. It has distracted me totally away from the badfic and the sporking.

"And ruin my robes? I don't think so. Look, a crease!" Milask grabbed a mini iron from his backpack (who knows what he was doing with it on a PPC mission) and ironed the crease out of the robe.

Now THAT is the kind of reaction I was looking for!

"Chocolate?" asked Dee. "Nothing in this story makes sense and it's better to not analyze it too much." Chocolate is the answer to all your problems. When in pain, have some chocolate.

I almost feel like she has forgotten to be nasty here.Like she might accidentally be being nice without feeling like it is a terrible thing.

This had absolutely the shortest exorcism I've ever read. One whack with a book, and one order, and it's completely over with. I know they tend to be more drawn out now, sometimes too much so, but this seemed anti-climatic...right up until there was another more elaborate exorcism, with the expected author wraith. Which confuses me. Why did they go back to being in-character with one smack, and then have to have the phantom exorcised after that?

The ending scene with the General Store was nice. I was immediately interested in Leto. He's taking pride in the simple state of having things neat and tidy. I can imagine him standing at the counter looking over things in a proprietary manner. Then he goes on with the blurb about the minis not getting along, and the problems it would cause, followed by the feeling of responsibility he feels toward keeping the PPC on its feet by supplying sanity supporting vices to the agents. I've seen the General Store mentioned many times, mostly on the wiki, but I've never read actual characterization of it in a mission, and this was very nice. My agents might visit it now that I've watched this scene as I read it.

Overall impressions: The issues with Milask at the beginning of the mission really, really bothered me. By the end of the mission, these had improved drastically. It almost felt like perhaps, the author was working from a distant memory in the first half of the mission, and then re-watched some episodes of Red Dwarf and began basing Milask's characterization on that. The improvement between what I expected from Milask being a Red Dwarf cat and how he actually behaved was drastic to the point of that it actually made me stop and stare at the story when he did something that would have been in-character for the Cat.

Dee didn't make a good impression on me at first either, and I am not sure that I can easily forget that first impression. With Milask, the issues were more technical, like his species shouldn't look like that, that reaction isn't right, etc. It wasn't a problem with Milask as a character so much as a problem of cognitive dissonance between Milask as written and the statement that he was a Red Dwarf Cat. With Dee, the problem was very much one of her characterization. I found several intances, which I pointed out, where I just didn't like her as a person. When she later behaved without the nasty comments, I was left wondering where they went.

Come to think about it, her nastiness was replaced with nearly unbridled lustiness at about the same time that Milask started acting more like a Red Dwarf Cat. I am now thinking that this mission was almost certainly written in two sessions, probably separated by a good chunk of time. The second session was much improved over the first. To be honest, I never would have finished reading this mission, if I hadn't told myself that I was going to do this concrit piece on it. And if I had stopped, I never would have read that excellent General Store section at the end.

The second half of the mission had me thinking that this agent pair might be worth reading again, and the General Store section clenched it. I will give them another shot.

((Terri's work again - I'm just the brain behind her))

From the Personal Files of Terri Ryan, Department of Personnel

Well, I've been issued an informal warning by the R&R Division. Apparently my justification for breaking the structure of my last review was insufficient, and I failed to mention sufficient items. I'll try to do better this time. I'm going to be using a primarily chronological structure, with one alteration to fit the recommended Good-Bad-Good pattern.

Mission: PPC Crusade/The Crusader King
Agents: Arthur Briggs and Lynn Gillies, DMS

Straight off the mark, this mission was highly immersive. Just after the agents receive their mission, we see the following exchange:

You’re the only one in this RC with canon knowledge, which makes you primary agent for this mission.”

“Me?” Gillies squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again. “But I’m not a full agent yet.”

“That doesn’t matter. The Duty is what’s important, and in this case you’re best suited to perform it."

This simple dialogue gives me a perfect feel for the agents. I could immediately contrast Gillies, squeaking and uncertain, with Briggs, saying 'the Duty is what's important'. The former is still settling into the PPC, while the latter, with his military background, is right at home. I immediately felt I knew the pair of them - and that I cared about what happened to them. All from a few lines of dialogue that let character flow through.

I also found myself drawn in in a different manner. This mission didn't feel like it took place in isolation: it was firmly part of a larger world. Two examples:

“In that case, you program the disguises while I visit the Canon Library."

and

[Present Tense Detected. Revert Agents To Past Tense Y/N?]

Briggs sighed as the reset took effect. “Much better. Once you make full Agent, see if you can talk DoSAT into adding a tense stabiliser to your CAD.”

Now, I'm not just quoting these because of my affection for the subjects of them, although that certainly plays a part. The Canon Librarian is a lot like me, insofar as I know anything about him, so it's good to see him getting some attention. The tense stabiliser first appeared on DOGA-modified CADs - I didn't realise it had gone into mass production. But that's not the point here.

The point is, I really get a feel for how the wider world of HQ impacts on this agent pair. I can now imagine them having friends and enemies, favourite haunts and secret shortcuts - not because of anything I know about them, but because their narrative so casually drops in pieces of their - our - world. This is clearly something they are intimately involved with, not just sitting on the outskirts of.

Oh, and it helps that they mention DOGA later by name. Pyro Department, getting the love.

Unfortunately, not everything is positive. While character-defining moments like my first quote exist, they are swamped by the fact that much of the dialogue can be split into two categories: charges, and infodumps.

Charges are important, we all know that, but there is more to a mission than the charge list. What I want to see is the agents' reactions to what happens, not simply the pigeonhole they slot it into. At its worst, this report descends into merely ticking boxes - literally, in fact, since Briggs is described as 'checking off' Thesaurus Abuse. This does not make for fascinating reading, unfortunately, and it foreshadows another problem: the entire list is quotes at the end, in massive block quotes.

There are two issues here. Firstly, how to deal with charges? I believe they don't all need to be mentioned. It is assumed that there is a list - that's a PPC Agent's job, after all - so it doesn't particularly need mentioning. Certainly the more amusing ones should be brought up - there is a scene where Briggs and Gillies discuss with evident satisfaction a pair of charges raised in a single time-jump, and it is entertaining to say the least - but the majority can pass unmarked.

Then there is the recitation. I know it's fashionable among some agents to create the largest list possible, but really, we don't need to see it. Read it to the 'Sue, by all means, but don't make me sit through it. Rather, edit what actually happened a little. Give me the highlights, the interesting bits, the collated and condensed version, and I'll read it. Give me the whole thing, and I'll skip ahead.

Then there are the infodumps. On the one hand, one agent is unfamiliar with the canon - and since this is the only Belgariad mission report I've ever seen, I imagine many casual readers are too. In that respect, a certain amount of information has to be provided. And, I must admit, Gillies handles it better than some - she breaks her dumps into small sections, allowing me time to recover in between, and theoretically absorb what I'm given. However, there are so many of them. Is all the information necessary? I don't know. Could it be condensed, cut down to the bare essentials and the funny parts? I suspect so.

But overall, I did enjoy this report. Possibly my favourite moment came near the end: in order to research something, Agent Briggs sent a letter to the Medical Department - using one of the lanterns said to be 'filing the room'. Not everyone would even have caught the typo (and as we know, agent observation has a massive effect on badfic canon), but Briggs used it to his advantage. Once again I gained insight into him, and saw his place in the larger world of the PPC - all through a simple piece of utility.

-T. Ryan, Dept. of Personnel, DOGA Archivist

((I hope you don't mind, but I'm handing the actual work of reviewing off to Terri. She's more interesting than me))

From the Personal Files of Terri Ryan, Department of Personnel

Everyone in DOGA (or DoGA, or DGA, or the Pyro Department, or whatever we're calling it this week) keeps telling me I need to get a hobby. Actually they usually tell me I need to get a life, but since I spend every waking hour filing their mission reports, complaints and sundries (a word I have come to detest), a hobby is the best I can do. Actually I shouldn't even be doing this, but I have an excuse. A package of old mission reports from across the PPC was delivered to the Archives this morning for some unknown reason, and I need to read them all to figure out what's going on. Since I'm doing that, I figure I might as well review them too.

Mission: Suebusters/For Gondor and Rohan
Agents: Cara Fielding & Miriam Collins, DMS

I have to say I found this mission a little dull to read about (although I note that one of the agents involved said much the same thing - I suppose boring is better than fatally exciting, right?). The main reason for this is that all the interesting moments appear to be glossed over. For example, during the Council I read that the entire courtyard turn[ed] gold when the 'Sue appeared. From Miriam's next line, I inferred that this was due to a line of bad narrative - but I am given no clue as to what it was. This happens every time Suvian prose is invoked. She gives a Sue-like description of the Lady Galadriel, but again, I don't get to find out what it says.

The main issue I have with this is that pure agent reaction doesn't hold my interest very well. I want to be entertained, and I want to be able to laugh at the badfic myself. There is little worse than seeing someone else in stitches over a joke I haven't heard. I understand the agents' purpose, I think - they want to be the focus, not simply characters in an MST - but I believe they would be more interesting if we knew what they were reacting to, not simply how.

Another issue I noticed is one I shall be passing on to the Department of Redundancy Department: lacking anything from the badfic to describe, the narrative sometimes takes to narrating the agents' dialogue. For example:
While it was understandable given the plagiarism, 0% OOC readings across the board (with the exception of the Sue, of course) were still unusual.

"Huh, everyone's totally in character so far," she noted, raising an eyebrow at the CAD with a small amount of disbelief. "That's strange."

The rule of 'Show, don't tell' seems to have been altered by these agents into 'show and tell'. Wait, was that too harsh? I've not exactly practiced this. I think the actual issue is one of 'Who knows what and how': the CAD informs one agent of an occurance, and that agent tells her partner. The problem is, both events didn't need to be narrated. It broke the flow of the mission for me. Even if this is what actually happened, to quote another rule, sometimes 'Less is more'. The dialogue would suffice, here and in other areas.

There is also an issue with narrative tension - or the lack thereof. Despite the agents' repeated warnings about the 'Sue possibly hearing them, there seems to be no danger of this happening. In one scene, Miriam taunts the Laws of Narrative Comedy - and wins. At a time when most of the Fellowship are on high alert due to approaching crebain, she sneaks into their camp, ignoring a warning from her partner, and steals their food with no consequences. Cara is alarmed, but does nothing, and nothing ever comes of the event.

Cara's warning was perfect foreshadowing, a Chekov's gun that simply didn't fire. Miriam wasn't seen. I understand that this is an accurate representation of events, but it left me feeling distinctly unsatisfied. There are two ways it could have been improved. The whole incident could have been downplayed, rather than building it up for no payoff. Alternately, and preferably, the tension could have been ramped up. If the narrative had followed Miriam rather than staying with Cara, we could have experienced her feelings: did that rock just move? I can't see Aragorn from here! What was that noise?

I hope I can be forgiven for my bad form in describing all the negatives first. I do not do this lightly - the structure of a review is practically a sacred trust - but as any member of the R&R Division of Personnel will tell you, sometimes structure must be sacrificed to dramatic necessity. The positives here are something rarely seen in mission reports, and in my opinion they far outweigh all that has gone before.

At the very beginning of the mission, we are shown Miriam's dislike for the cold. This seems to be a piece of scene-setting, with no lasting consequences - until the agents arrive at Caradhras. Here the cold issue resurfaces, and (without spoiling my second positive) leads to interaction that would not otherwise occur.

I admire the narrative consistancy shown here. A major issue with badfics is a failure to carry things forward: a wrist broken in one scene may be used to loose a bow a dozen chapters later. Here the agents, through careful use of the narrative structure, managed to create a small plot arc within their tale. It allowed me to connect more fully with the agents - to see them as people, not merely vessels for the plot. And then there's Ring Bearer...

Ring Bearer the mini-Balrog is almost a special case of the above, but he is even better used. These days minis are often ignored - they appear in one scene, then vanish, just like that broken wrist. Not Ring Bearer. I'll illustrate this with three paragraphs from widely-separated parts of the report:

Even though she wasn't usually fond of minis, Miriam almost squealed in relief, huddling just close enough to Ring Bearer for the convection to warm her without causing severe burns; warmth was one thing, being incinerated was another.

She looked around in concern for somewhere to put Ring Bearer, as - without meaning to - the mini-Balrog was starting to char the wood. In the end she asked him to wait at the bottom of the tree, where he wouldn't be able to set anything alight. Mournfully, the little Maia did as requested, though he was pacified with a promise of more bacon later.

A few clicks and whirrs and a bright flash of light later, Ring Bearer looked rather puzzled. In place of the Uruk-Hai that had picked him up, two female Elves - still wearing the same clothes - stood adjusting their backpacks. “Hey, it’s okay,” Cara grinned at him, throwing him their last piece of bacon to reassure him...

From his first appearence, this mini is not just something that happened: he becomes an integral part of the mission. The problems and advantages of dealing with a demi-angelic ball of flame are addressed: he is used for warmth on Caradhras, and later gently removed from the flet in Lorien - we even see his reactions to this. Later still, I read of his reaction to a change of disguise, and I realised this was what had been missing.

I read a mission for two reasons: to delight at the tale of agents cleaning out a badfic, and to see something new. The entertainment of the former was somewhat muted here, but, for the first time in a long time, something brand new appeared. I have never seen a mini become a character on its first appearance before - and I enjoyed it immensely. It shows how much respect the two agents have for the Word Worlds they enter, and for the creatures they encounter. By reading about their interactions with Ring Bearer, I came to truly believe that the authors were lovers of Canon, not just haters of 'Sues. And that is something I always treasure.

-T. Ryan, Dept. of Personnel, DOGA Archivist

(Don't really care about winning, I'm just happy to be participating.)

A review of our solitary Indiana Jones mission by Chatvert:
http://wizkit.livejournal.com/904.html
which I tried to post there, but LJ wants . . . stuff. Or something. Which might be for the best, because this review feels disgustingly long to me.

"Greetings! Fellow PPCer doctorlit here. When I noticed we had an Indiana Jones mission, I just had to come read it!

Indiana Jones had a lot of fun minor characters (Sallah and Brody, in particular), and they got shafted pretty heavily by this badfic. I'm glad you had Kitty react to that, and gave them a bit of fan-love through her dialogue.

Kitty and Alec work very well as a PPC partnership. I especially like their dialogue. It's been a while since the agent banter in a mission kept me smiling most of the way through my reading. Alec's serious pragmatism conflicts well with Kitty's fannish excitement towards everything. At the same time, I like that both agents can slip out of their usual characterization, like when Alec references the Last Crusade dialogue during the assassination. Another example where this shines through is Kitty's reaction to being shot, immediately calming down so she could take care of herself.

One thing that made this mission a somewhat difficult read was that your writing and the badfic's writing shared the same formatting (except the bolded author's notes). With no obvious visual difference, there were paragraphs that seemed to be part of your narration, but turned out to be from the badfic as I read more. I don't know what formatting livejournal allows, but it would make for a much smoother, clearer read if you bolded or italicized the badfic quotes. This is especially important with a badfic like this one that has mostly decent SPaG.

I thought it was kind of weird for Alec Trevelyan (who our wiki tells me is from James Bond) to be casting magic spells. I went back and read his first mission to find out why he was capable of doing so, but there was no mention of magic at all. In fact, Kitty didn't display any magic there, either. It's pretty random for this magical talent to have just been dropped on the reader in the second installment of your spinoff with no explanation, even apart from the weirdness of a James Bond canon being able to do it at all.

Between this mission and that first one, I also noticed another contradiction. Kitty can barely assassinate the Bourneverse Sue without having an emotional breakdown, and admits she only managed it because she knew Alec was in danger. Then, in the beginning of this mission, Kitty is very nonchalant about picking out a weapon and says she is "getting used to" killing. It's very jarring to go from one mission to the next and have this complete turnaround in attitude. I realize I'm probably meant to assume other missions took place between these two, but it would have been a lot more satisfying to see that change in Kitty happen over time, because as it is, it feels like I've missed out on a huge chunk of Kitty's character development. That change, as well as the magic thing, should to be shown to the reader, rather than briefly mentioned as having occurred during the "commercial break."

I'm sorry this comment went on so long, especially on a two-year-old entry. Just wanted to give my thoughts on a mission in an awesome, but sadly neglected, canon.
—doctorlit

I am not going to participate in the actual contest portion of this, as I am married to the judge, and that is prize enough for me. I will, however, still be reviewing things and I welcome Neshomeh to judge how many points I would receive, as an example of how the system works.

That said, here is my first review.

---------

Phobos' review of Architeuthis, Mission 1: The Beginning:

I'm not quite sure how to begin this, so I guess the best thing to do is get out my thoughts on the piece overall. I'm sad to say I didn't really enjoy it. There are several reasons for that.

The first half of this mission was one long info-dump that tries to set out exactly what the PPC is, and how it does its job. While this is useful information, it was not presented in a way that was interesting to read, and I found it difficult to trudge through it. Since it was obviously intended for readers who were not familiar with the PPC, I wouldn't advocate getting rid of it all together. I think it would have been better to put it in a separate piece and liven it up somehow. Perhaps make it more of a more fully developed story about how Architeuthis joined the organization and found these things out, rather than explaining it directly to the audience and quoting sections of the manual.

Another problem I had with this particular mission was the lack of clear delineation between sections. The disclaimer at the top runs directly into the exposition section, which runs directly into the actual narrative. It is jarring, and it only serves to confuse the reader. This is a simple fix, though. A horizontal rule between the sections would clear that up easily.

There are, what appear to be, several in-text author's notes, which I believe are a lazy way to get information to the audience. Two, in particular, caught my eye.

1) (I'm a graduate student of biology; I need money, okay?) This information has no bearing on the story, and, due to agents not getting paid, doesn't make any sense as a reason to join the PPC. If you really wanted to get this into the story, I would recommend writing a more thorough introduction of Architeuthis, which includes her being a graduate student, and what that means for her in her new job.

2) (Of course, I'd picked a fake name before coming....) This one makes a common mistake. You are telling, rather than showing. It would have been more interesting and less intrusive if we had seen the agent pick the name as part of her preparations for going out. Perhaps she could have a number of names on a dartboard, or something. "Show; don't tell" would be good advice for this piece as a whole, come to think of it.

It is quite obvious that you know what you are talking about when it comes to Lord of the Rings canon. Some specific instances are the palantiri and the Black Shadow. I was under the mistaken impression that there were only four palantiri. I learned something today.

I don't feel that it was adequately explained how Architeuthis managed to make it through this without a scratch. She fully admitted to being a spy, and she was in the heart of Minas Morgul. That would have warranted torture, at the very least, to find out how she had made it so far into the fortress undetected. It seems particularly out of character for the Witch King. He seemed to not care a whole lot that this person was in his tower, playing with his palantir. It would have been more interesting if Architeuthis needed to do something more than just tell the truth to get out of the situation.

As a side-note, while we are on the subject of the Witch King, Makes-Things just modified the Neuralyzers to work on undead, and we don't hear about it until the it was being used? That smacks of plot contrivance and lazy storytelling. I'm not saying you shouldn't modify the equipment. What I am saying is that you need to work at setting things like that up, in advance, so that they don't come out of thin air. If Makes-Things, or someone else from DoSAT had given Architeuthis the modified, possibly even experimental, Neuralyzer earlier in the story, it would have been far less jarring.

All in all, I'm sorry to say that this doesn't make me keen to read any further into the adventures of Architeuthis.

-Phobos

How about this:

I'll review two people that I haven't heard of before, and two more people that ask for a review. Plus Neshomeh, because I didn't know that we had had National Reading Month.

I'll link, but don't worry about judging them. I'm not interested in earning points, and I'm pretty aware of what makes a good review because I just spent quiet a few hours on mandatory, graded peer English paper critiques.

Have you thought of a prize? I tried to think of something original. That failed.

I think not.

And yeah... I don't think so... mostly because there aren't that many PPC fics out there. Ne?

Well, there was this:

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Dusk_Daybreak

But as far as I know, no one ever sporked it.

by piece I mean a PPC mission. My bad...

Just kidding. Have an apple pear and welcome.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Hello there, welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this collection of historical muskets as a welcoming gift.

Welcome to the board!

Here, have some Prokofiev as a welcome present: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLImlLFwRk8

Hello! Have one of those cool shape-shifty swords from Dark Side of the Sun!

Greetings, new friend!

Have a flea-hat! It's, uh . . . it's not what it sounds like.

Promise.

You wouldn't be any relation to Mad Hattie, would you? She joined up a while back, but she hasn't been around recently that I'm aware of.

In any case, welcome! Since you seem to be of a millinery persuasion, have a hat shaped like a duck. That way, when someone asks you about the duck on your head, you can look at them with perfect confusion and say, "What duck?"

^_^

~Neshomeh

Hi, friend!
*glomps you* Have a hat with mouse ears on it and a minecraft diamond.

We like all the same fandoms, it seems.
Question. USUK, or FrUK?

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water. Guaranteed to contain no dihydrogen monoxide!

Have an awesome-laced cookie.

It's okay, it's okay. Don't let the licorice whips get to you.

Look on the bright side: you passed already! You have Permission! Even if you didn't, we'd still love you. So it's going to be okay.

Have an apple-pear. They've been quite good lately. *munch munch*

Set it aside if you still want to do it. Just don't use it as your 'first' mission.

I have a mission I've been working on for about.... four years now. Some others that aren't with quite a long period of time, a few that are just in 'months' in terms of length of time for writing.

Sometimes you just need to give it space before you can continue on that particular piece, that's all.

I feel all snuggly and loved now. Thanks for the help, peoples :D

(I think I'll still at least take a break from writing this and do a shorter fic for my first one. It might even be done today, since I already have a few pages worked out for this thing: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3623721/1/Another_real_life_crossover_oh_noes)

Just when I think badfic can't get any weirder...

Long fics make long missions. Choose a point where it gets particularly bad. Before something especially stupid happens, like an almost omnipotent villain being dragged somewhere he doesn't belong, canons being severely injured/killed...

For example, we wouldn't want the Doctor to regenerate. I'm not sure on how to reverse that.

I'm rewriting a mission right now and the fic turned out to be even worse than I'd thought, so much so that while I first cut it off at about chapter ten, I'm now cutting the mission off at chapter five because there were just so many problems. If I sporked the entire thing, it'd be longer than a Clive Barker novel.

It doesn't make you a bad PPCer. I've spent months rewriting missions, mainly because real life gets in the way. No one's going to mind a lot if it takes you a while.

Calm down, it will be just fine. Now, let's look at these points calmly, hm?

-If the fic is too long, select a cutoff point and let your Agents take out the Sue/Stu/slashwraith/whatever you're dealing with there. It's a perfectly legitimate tactic to have your Agents basically get fed up, go "stuff this" and charge once they've collected enough charges.

(Opinion may vary on how many is "enough" but for general purposes I'd say 15-25 is usually considered plenty, especially if the Agents have had enough of the fic.)

-Being active is appreciated, but not necessary once you actually have Permission and we know you. We've had people fade off the radar for months or even years and then pop back up, and they get just as much welcome as any newbies. Posting one's first mission is also not something to rush with, and we don't demand that PPCers even write missions if they don't want to. Some of our members have been here years and never writen a single mission.

So in conclusion: you are not a horrible PPCer. *hugs* Just sit back and don't feel like there's pressure on you to do PPC stuff.

Welcome! Have some assorted Bleep-products!

I am a fellow Brony, and there are many others. Favorite pony? (Mine is Fluttershy, which is going to seem weird if/when you get to know me better.)

What site do you hail from? I'm from the Pit of Voles. Stay away from the Pit of Horny Weasels, especially the MLP section. The MLP section is, for some inexplicable reason, filled with bondage. Remember to bring your Bleeprin if you choose to go, and keep yourself away from anything physically dangerous.

Best of luck!

Hello from a native Aussie and fellow PPCer!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water! Store in a cool, dry place and keep away from any sort of matter. It will react. Violently.

...though I'm not supposed to say that, since "everyone" is supposed to fit in.

But seriously. You share similar fandoms with 75% + of the group. You may even understand over 50% of the jokes!

Welcome. Have an apple-pear.

Hi! Welcome to the Board.

Don't feel bad about watching Matt Smith, David Tennant will forgive you! Anyways, have a Party Cannon!

Welcome to the madness! Have a propeller hat: it actually flies! just don't put your fingers too close to the blades if you want them to stay intact.

Hi, have some fudge!

If you've been lurking for a while, then I'm sure you know how things go around here. Some of us are a little crazy, but we're the friendly kind of crazy. Enjoy your stay!

*cake*

Greetings, new friend! Have a pair of kangaroo boxing gloves! (They're for a kangaroo to wear. I'm sure I don't need to tell you not to try boxing a kangaroo.)

Hello and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Fluttershy is best pony, btw.

Glee used to be a good show, but now it just sucks. The outright worship of some characters (i.e. Rachel and Kurt) and the outright ignoring of others (i.e. Tina and Artie) drove me away, as did Glee's refusal to have any songs on it that aren't either mainstream pop, mainstream rock, mainstream hip hop or classical theatre.

I used to enjoy it, but don't any longer. I don't appreciate girls/guys falling in and out of love with just about everything that moves and breathes half a dozen times in two years.

Sorry.

The singing's still fabulous, though, I imagine.

There isn't really any mass shared mind on most fandoms in general in the PPC, so opinions vary.

I personally can't stand Glee, because it's very much a race to the bottom in terms of 'let's make all of these characters as generally unappealingly manipulative and amoral as possible and heap as many cringe inducing moments in as possible between musical numbers'.

No idea. You see, the PPC is a construct that is made up of people. These people have varying thoughts on topics. It is not often that everyone in the PPC agrees that a particular canon is either good or bad. Cases have even been made for Twilight being decent, on occasion.

As for Glee, I don't mind it, myself. The stories are decent, and the songs, though over-processed, can also be enjoyable.

If it is one of the canons you enjoy, then be glad that the fanfic is decent. I wish more continua could be like that.

-Phobos

Most people, I think, just type the name into "Author" every time, it's easier. I always have.

(Sorry for the anonymous sign-in. I swear to god, Amtrak has the worst damn wifi ever in the history of worst wifi ever.)

Okay. So... Let's get going.

For me, this mission really took a while to get off the ground. I think that once Jace got more heavily involved in the mission, it started getting very interesting. Until that point, though, I was kind of slogging a bit through most of it.

Once Jace came in, though, the mission got very fun. It was wild, it was crazy, and seeing Jace interact with the agents was pretty awesome. And since Jace was in the majority of the mission, that's all that matters.

So overall, it was a good mission.

All I keep getting is an "Untitled Document". Is that the wrong link or something?

Not THAT Kind Of Magic

Yeah, I know, it was probably the character limit. Still... Ellipsis Flo? Pfft-

This is very much something special, set apart from all other PPC stuff (that I've encountered). You guys blended the PPC agents' story superbly together with the fic and made this mission deeper for it.

Cadmar and Cali have been moving towards a potential semi-argument for a while now, I think, simply because they were both being so cautious around each other, and afraid to open up. Giving them a mission together was an elegant and unassuming way to force them to interact one-on-one and reach that point.

You somehow wrote all the mushy Cadmar/Cali scenes in a way that kept my attention throughout the entire mission. Whihc is, like, impossible, because I hate romance. So kudos for that. (I would say more, but I'm honestly not really sure what it is that kept me interested the whole way through.)

Like Miah said in her author note, I was "waiting for the shoe to drop" on how the (obviously bad) fic was going to turn bad. Using a goodfic was an excellent choice, not only within this mission, but for the community as a whole. As is said repeatedly, it's not about the badfic, and having PPC characters discuss a goodfic is a great way to support that attitude. The goodfic also complements the PPC story arc well (as you pointed out) by contrasting the Sheppard/Rodney relationship with the Cadmar/Cali one.

We now know the color of Cali's eyes, but we still don;t know why he was so keen on keeping them hidden, especially since they're far from Suvian. I realize he was a little distracted by the turn of conversation here, but it would still be nice to find out eventually why he was so secretive about this. (Disregard if this was already talked about somewhere and I forgot.)

So yes! Excellent character development, clever fake-out using the goodfic, and I can't think of a third item for this list. Feel free to bug me in chat for anything else.

And now, as is becoming customary to the point where I feel like a pest, the missed mistakes I found:

*"Yeah, disguises are already preset for SGA personal."
"Personal" should be "personnel."

*"Do you need anymore help with your bra?"
"Any more" is two words.

*"Now that’s a Rodney like reaction to hearing that you are pregnant."
Needs a hyphen: "Rodney-like." HYPHENS FOREVER

*"I’m not sure exactly how the whole selection of missions fic goes..."
I think an extra "fic" sneaked in there.

This was a rather interesting idea, and for the most part, it worked. The meta aspect of it, ie, the two of you thinking this would be badfic and being pleasantly surprised, is fun. I especially enjoyed how the fic ended up giving Cali and Cadmar relationship advice. I'm not a fan of MPreg, and while I'm willing to bet Sheppard would quite easily be at least bi, I'd also bet that Rodney is hetero. At the same time, they are literally the only slash pairing I enjoy. (Because... they're so cute together :3) So yeah, that's a personal thing, and it may bias me towards liking this mission.

On the negative side, the most major problem I saw was that the beginning drags. I might have enjoyed it more were I not waiting for the mission to start. Perhaps it could have been its own interlude?
The beginning also seems kind of jumbled, not in that I had trouble following it. It more seems that there are too many characters all talking at once.

Still, it was, on the whole, a good mission (if it can be called that), if not an unqualified success.

An actual goodfic mission? Wow, that's actually pretty nice.

And it's great the way that it explored Cali and Cadmar's relationship. That was actually incredibly sweet there, so...

Great job!

Yeah, I was surprised too, but it worked. Reading that mission reminded me that yes, everything can be done well. Even this.

Still, while there was nothing to do PPC-wise it very well explored Cali's and Cadmar's relationship. Well, the goodfic surprise was kinda spoiled for me since I already knew the fic in question, but other than that, it was a nice read.

I wonder if they were given that mission on purpose.

"Mittens met his gaze evenly. “Yes,” he answered, “they do. Fortunately, you and I are not partners.”"

Nuff said.

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Hurt-Laurie-Aladdin-Fiction/dp/0689712065

Laurie and her crowd are from this book. Unless you can establish they were replacements, the agents have just destroyed a continuum.

I liked it, I guess. At least it distracted me from being furious at my colleagues. I did like the petulant CAD, and the 'left with the kids' vibe I got from Mittens after the RMC went off. Not too sure about some of the charges (Galadriel is creepy, just ask anyone in Gondor), and I'm dubious about the level of analytical thought you expected from an eight-year-old (but then again, she did decide to go with the Fellowship... I guess that's why they're 'Sues), but I did enjoy it. Especially the leather-bound copy of TOS.

hS, trying to remember how to read missions

You are correct in identifying those with owners, and have discovered three new minis that weren't known before! Your Agents are welcome to adopt all four that you requested - Middle Earth, Dwarrodelf, Thrandullion, and Morodr - as long as they take adequate fireproofing precautions. :P

The bad news: This is not as good as your last mission, or your last interlude

The good news: It isn't bad

So I have to say, I really like the reactions to the trollfic in this. They're funny, and believable, and bear a resemblance to something I like to do in my owns spinoff, so I guess we think kind of the same.

Unfortunately, this suffers from one of the things I mentioned about your last mission to an even greater extent. Namely, I have trouble telling exactly where your agents are. You do an excellent job of describing the environment, but where your agents are in relation to each other and the things around them is unclear. I understand that this is hard to do in a mission with so few (read: one) canon location(s). Still I often had to try to figure out where your agents were purely based on context, and was not always able to. The troll battle, when this was most critical, was hard to follow.

So yeah. In all, not a bad mission, but you have written better.

Okay, I think I should go more in details about what I (dis)liked about this mission.

The main thing that bothered me was, as said, the fact that you skip many fic pieces that could be interesting. A good example would be the faux-Shakespearian author's note with the three minis. That sounds like something that should be seen rather than be read about. Or maybe something about Sarah's backstory. You're just telling things instead of showing them. I felt kinda left out on the action.

The other thing: I mentioned it before and I will mention it again. Betas are important. Even if you're the world SPaG champion, you still make mistakes. Or you're too immersed in your mission to notice how things aren't as obvious as you think they are. Betas are your more or less independent second (third/fourth) pair of eyes. You'll almost never catch every mistake you make. I already marked some things, but I'm sure there's more. I think I caught a missing period somewhere. Would be ironic if you poke at the Suethor for messing up periods if you do it yourself.

On the other hand, not everything was bad. You managed to point things out well, I just love edible girl and your agents are working just fine. It wasn't a great mission, but if you iron out your mistakes and get someone to read over it closely, it could be good.

I don't think a final decision has been made on the process for adding new pages, but if they're just your basic textbook Sues, that pretty much disqualifies them.

Regarding the mission, I'm afraid I haven't done more than glance at it, and that's because it looks unfinished: there are comments in the margins that I assume your beta made, and among other things you desperately need double line-breaks between ALL your paragraphs. You've got them some places but not others, and it's really distracting. I'm not sure why you decided to post this before it was ready, but I'd really rather not read it until it is. You're not doing yourself any favors by jumping the gun.

~Neshomeh

You have a really good fun potential detector there! Edible girl is another brilliant way to use bad writing as fun potential.

Also, I kinda missed seeing a CAD die. It's one of the staples of PPC missions, after all.

Aside from the things I marked in the doc, there's one major problem: I felt like being told many things you could have shown me instead.

Also, why is Raven's Room a mini?

Well, the girl does bribe someone to ignore her name when she lands, as Jack Sparrow did in the first movie, but that's all I picked up at first glance.

Though it may be helpful to note that the Telmarines were once pirates from Earth. Unlike these pirates, however, they did not invade intentionally at first or know that the place they were in was Narnia.

So wait- something like Mass Effect or Halo could still happen in a few hundred years? Hang on, why would I want The Covenant and The Reapers killing everyone?

But cool theory.

Well, for one thing, we're pretty sure the universe isn't infinite, if only because if it were, it would instantly collapse due to gravity.

(If we assume it's going for infinite /time/, then yeah, any physically possible arrangement of matter will happen. Eventually. Like, we're talking gigaSagans of times longer that the entire age of the universe to date eventually, even for little things like human reincarnation, let alone planetary or societal. And then there's the Omega Point thing...)

However, some stuff just isn't going to happen. Anything actually physically possible will, but magic isn't just going to pop out of the ether, and the Discworld isn't going to hold together no matter how much quantum you throw at it.

Also, even if there is a multiverse, I'm pretty sure that trans-fictional travel doesn't exist. Because, goddammit, I imagined that there was an alternate-reality version of me with multiversal travel who was about to decide to come visit me SO MANY TIMES when I was a kid and nobody ever picked me up.

Sorry to be the nasty downer in the happy party, but I just can't see some of the magic stories working. :(

And therefore, every badfic that has ever been written exists... Including all the legendary badfics. And this means there is an infinite number of Mary Sues, and an infinite amount of versions of the PPC.

I have used this excuse billions of times to prove my fangirly theory that, YES, THERE IS A GALIFREY, GODDAMNIT.

It has comforted me in the many dark times of wishing for the Doctor.

It is commendable for someone on such a ho-hum, unfantastic world to have finally figured it out. It's not every day one of the Lesser Worlds sees a spark of wisdom without the assistance of magic. However, each individual world must never become aware of the others, or of the greater World. I'm going to have to kill you and everyone who saw this thread now.

Have a good day.

(—doctorlit, who fears this may read as more morbid than he intended and is obviously kidding about the killing thing)

It doesn't blow my mind because I know that we'll never even come close to contacting other universes at all, yet alone within my lifetime.

I'm no physicist, but I'm pretty sure multiverse theory does not work that way. My best explanation for the entire thing is similar to how Sweeper from Terry Pratchett's Night Watch puts it: "It says that if anything that can happen without breaking any physical laws, it must happen. [...] It means the universe is not infinite, and people's choices are far more vital than they think." (p.81)

As far as I know, magic, high fantasy stuff, and all the like cannot possibly exist according to our established laws of physics and are confined to fiction.

That doesn't make them any less wonderful, of course, and they still exist in our imagination.

You, sir, have inserted the barrel of your magical fandom revolver into my ear and BLOWN MY MIND.

I have always wished that the Hetalia nations were real. Possibilities...

However, it also means that somewhere incomprehensibly far away, there is another planet, precisely like Earth down to the position of every last atom of gold, where the only difference is that I am a neo-Nazi. And that frightens me a little.

I couldn't read past the first paragraph, it was so disjointed.

First, "A special charm" is just about the worst way to describe magic while still using proper grammar, and I have vagueness in spell descriptions, the author could, at least, NAME the spell Dumbledore is casting!

Second, who wouldn't notice that their boss is holding a BROOM? Brooms are large, bulky, and very obvious, so missing that someone has one is inexcusable. The writer could at least mention that the broom was shrunken, and hidden in Dumbledore's pocket, if he didn't want anyone to know he was going somewhere.

Third, this is Albus Dumbledore we're talking about here! Can't he just apparate to where he wants to go?

"Ms. Figg revealed that she was a Squid later"

Aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh! Strange mental images!

I read one chapter and all characters I recognized were OOC/possesed/replaced. Plus there was the bad spelling.

(clutches head and convulses on the floor)
You're right, the lack of logic is just mind shattering.

Ehhh? Am I reading this right? Nanoha is the new DADA teacher, in Hogwarts? Ehhh?
-Grasps heads, mumbles incoherently-
Ohmygodkillitkillitdestroyitkillitannihilateit

I'm pretty sure OMG is not Japanese.

I don't actually know Nanoha, but every Harry Potter character is pitifully OOC and my brain also broke during the first chapter by the way.
It's so broken that I temporarily forgot how to use commas.

I'm not familiar with Axis Power Hetalia, but I have read the Bartimeus Trilogy, and I can't actually find anything about this that requires sporking. In fact, it's actually pretty good.

It's possible, however, that somebody familiar with Hetalia will find major problems with it, but I can't actually find anything all that wrong with it.

I have a saiyan who was going to be one of those, "And he looked like X character but..." characters. So he looks kind of like Vegeta, but is definitely not Vegeta.

Tray and I recruited Wusiji Doctor and Oujide Doctor in our last mission, copies of Professor Elm and Oak, respectively, who speak in poorly translated English. I have plans for them... and yeah, I think a party would be awesome.

In his homefic, Kelok was supposed to be Todd the Wraith from Stargate Atlantis.

The characterization was so far off that he was deemed an OC that couldn't assimilate into the background, and he was recruited. Since he was supposed to be Todd, he has some memories of being Todd, but they are terribly faint and usually just leave him with confusing bad dreams. He has only a passing physical similarity to Todd, and completely lacks the distinctive, and awesome, deep voice that Todd has. Also, thankfully, he lacks the ambition and drive to rule two galaxies that Todd had, or he couldn't have been recruited.

I have a character that I recruited from one of my Floaters' missions who's basically characterized as a replacement of Raoul de Chagny of Phantom of the Opera (when Suefluence is removed, that is). It's especially telling that he's a wolf, but I imagine he'd have some crazy things going there for them.

And you're right, they should totally have a party.

Interesting. I can imagine what happens if there is a James Bond copy there with Trevelyan, or if other enemies meet. I'd want to see it happen (or just laugh maniacally while everyone fights.)

See, my agent, Grace, was originally intended to be an OC, but ended up (due to lack of characterisation and effort) as a female clone of Connor Temple. I don't know if she counts or not, but if she does, she'd love to go to this party.

Do you think my house cat reincarnation of Murdoc Niccals could attend? He'd probably just leave presents in any unattended shoes, but still.

I loves it. Perhaps my ooc-Sherlock-Holmes-from-a-badfic can show up.

He became aware of his fictional incarnations (due to being transferred to the modern world) and started wearing a deerstalker hat and a bright blue scarf. Just for irony. XD

My Agent Derik, formerly E'rik, is a photocopy of movie!Phantom of the Opera. (Dare I say, a PotOcopy?) He was never actually purported to be the same character, fortunately. Not that the entire thing being coincidental makes sense. >.>

Agent Suicide, of course, is a clone of the Suicide from Gates of Fire, created by means of a missing apostrophe in Tungsten Monk's printing of the book, as I recall.

I remember a Wash clone being recruited, I think by Rez and Flip, though I don't think we've seen him since.

Marsha the Triceratops was a character replacement for Cera the Three-horn.

Eclectica is "an Eccentrica Gallumbits ripoff," according to her wiki page. (I have no idea who Eccentrica Gallumbits is.)

In addition to Team Phoenix, a few other dead canons have appeared in the PPC post-resurrection: Behnashiren and Jara Hamee come to mind. Just to be clear, though, this sort of thing is discouraged anymore, since ripping actual canon characters out of their canonical deaths just so we can play with them is kind of hypocritical for an organization that's supposed to preserve the canon.

... That's a bit more than a few, actually.

~Neshomeh

Sergio Turbo has the character Nikki Cherryflower, who's a Kinomoto Sakura replacement. My agent Ari is a replacement of Alicia Testarossa, and in the next two missions, there's going to be two more Alicia Testarossas. Don't tell Luxury that there's three copies of the same girl with different personalities running around.

Welcome! And have a generic Distraction, capable of diverting anyone's attention for up to an hour, depending on the IQ of the person in question.

Good to have you on board. Here, have a pyrotechnic conifer. Be warned, it can be dangerous!

Here, have a plushie TARDIS and a near- bottomless bag to carry all your loot in!

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water! Perfect for demolition jobs: a few drops will take out the toughest concrete wall.

Hi! Welcome to the PPC! Have some cookies!

We love new guys! =D

Here, have some Aram Khachaturian for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ1bFGWsiTs

Nice to meet you! Have a lampshade hat, it's perfect for parties!

Hi! My name's AnnaBee. I like LOTR and Star Wars, too.

Have a jelly baby, they're useful for dealing with rogue Time Lords. And tasty.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have an awesome-laced cookie.

Greetings, new friend! Have a Battleaxe of Pillaging +3.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Glad to have you here, we're always glad to meet new friendly people. :D

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They're excellent for distracting Sues.

Hope you have a good time here!

It's good, but it feels a bit off somehow. I think it's that it's a bit hollow.
The emotions feel underplayed. If I found a snake in my bed, I would shriek, but it's brushed off very quickly. I know that some people react to different situations, but it doesn't seem realistic.
Also, I don't understand Saline. The whole thing about her being tough, but really caring about her partner feels like it came out of no where. It could just be me missing some crucial bits like I have been lately, and if it is, please tell me.
Other than that though, good work!

Yay! We've got a card shop now! Now I have somewhere to send [unnamed future agent] for his Magic cards!

I'm curious about a couple of things. What misspelling caused Priyala's anemia? Apologies if it was already mentioned in another piece and I've forgotten.

Also, what blueprint is Saline looking at in the end? Is it for Medical, or some building in a particular canon? Why is she studying it?