Oct 2011 Archive, part a

But happy birthday anyway. Here, have a triple chocolate cupcake.

Have a slightly stolen badfic copy of The Sign of Four, and a bag of Imperial coins.

Have some -

Hey!

Why does nobody want my Portal Cake?

*hugs Dann* Happy birthday, dude! *hands over a wrapped present*

Have a oddly sparkly copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles, and a bag of Imperial coins.

Wowza, sure are a lot o people becoming older, aren't there? *smuggles in a cake that could hold a person.*

Hoppy burpday to yew, *belch*

Maybe there's something to astrology and part of it is that Libra are more likely to be the sort attracted to a place like the PPC.

Happy happy birthday, from all of us to you!
I wish it was my birthday, so I could post it too...
Happy happy birthday, may all your dreams come true!
(still wish it was my birthday, so I could party too)
HEY!

Have a sweet birthday!

Happy birthday! :D

Have some Portal Ca- no don't run away!

October's a busy month for Boarders it seems!

Have some Bleepka, and your two cents (valid in any thread, except this one).

Have a rhubarb - on fire!

Hi, have some fudge!

Here, have an egg whisk! Useful for dispelling author wraiths and those pesky spambots. Also, it whisks eggs! Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy your stay. :-)

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you? So, what fandoms are you into!

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this assortment of various fried foods as a welcoming gift.

Welcome, welcome, may I present you with an assortment of things with points? They include, but are not limited to: Hats, shoes, pikes and cook books.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to the bag of venomous invertebrates. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Hello and welcome!

'Ere, 'ave a conical 'at and a muffin!

The 'at is made of tin foil and duct tape, so it keeps the conspiracy theorists out.

The muffin is a zucchini muffin!

I'm not going to make any obvious jokes, because we love new people! :D

Anyway, here have some Bartok for the road: Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPeW7hz9RwE&feature=related

*grabs a comically large net* I shall catch you, Pande! And then, THE ZOO WITH YOU! MWA-HA!

(Welcome aboard, have a muffin! Pinkinepie made it! ^_^)

Pleased to meet you, Pande. Have this bag full of polyhedral random-number generators. They are useful for generating random numbers, and also as emergency projectiles.

I also have a couple links for you.

The first is a link to the FAQ for Newbies

The second is to the Guide to the PPC

Links to the Wiki and the PPC IRC Chat can be found at the top of the Board. Check them out when you get a chance.

Welcome aboard!

I have a couple of missions on the boil that I want to finish. Both set back in 2010, but I could potentially tweak that.

Anyone looking for an extra member for a writing team?

Elcalion, puppy dog eyes

THIS! I have been saying this for a while, that spin offs are sort of like islands when HQ should unite everybody. I was already going to make an effort to try and include others in my missions anyway.

I doubt I'll win the challenge, but I don't really need it as a carrot on a stick to do this anyway. I wanted to do this before the contest rolled around!

Now only if I could finish the TWO missions I am halfway done with. :|

I've got a couple of items on my docket right now that are fairly close to being finished. The mission is a bit too close for me to start putting in references, but I might be able to work something into a collection of short interludes that I've been working on. Would anyone be willing to co-write their characters in a brief scene with Danny Richardson? Nothing majorly canon-altering, just a bit of fun. I'd prefer agents that are gamers, gamblers, or otherwise thrill-seekers.

Once those pieces are out of the way, I'll be free to fully focus on this little challenge. If anyone wants to group, I'd be happy to lend a hand.

I'm not sure though. I have a couple of missions I'm working on that I could change to fit this, but I'm not sure how well that would work.

On a completely different note, does anyone know how I can get in contact with Tranum? I would like to discuss with him a possible interaction between my Jenka and his Drew Charles.

Me and Miah will be in a team together, anyone else we join up with at a later date we can announce here, or in Chat.

I love this idea, but I'm planning to use November to work on my own original story, so that's about a third of the challenge time gone. I'm sure I'm not the only one doing NaNo, so can we do something to compensate?

~Neshomeh

Assume that I write a story with Barid and Brightbeard, where they mention the MP3 of JulyFlame and also reference the conversation that Barid had with Nume. Would that be two points or would it just be one, because it is technically referencing the same event?

Since someone asked, and I forgot to mention/clarify this:

No, you do not have to be on a team for this.

If your individual points tally up to more than the average-per-team-member of the winning team, you get to choose one of the individual prizes.

Whoever scores the most points on their own gets a trophy just for them and an individual prize, too.

Also, this challenge is more directed at short missions and interludes (instead of epics spanning more than twenty pages).

Since I am already writing an interlude in which some Agents not of mine appear as cameos (instead of just references as in the challenge), I'd like to know if this still qualifies. A big part of it is a co-write, too, and it will probably qualify as a team writing as Astral Void says she cannot post her next MST until I get around to post this interlude (and one of the already posted ones has a slight reference to it)

Nicely done! MSTs cettainly make this kind of fic more bearable to read... And if you ever need more riffers, my agents (as soon as I get some missions up) are more than ready...

This was absolutely hilarious. Besides the constant humour of Stiffener Medick (God, what a name!) and Dingeye and Thura, the references, jokes and songs really made this MST great. Nice one.

I loved it! Especially the mile-long charge list. :D
And your new team is working out really well. In your last mission I loved Anneli's reaction, when she found out that Xanthus watch MLP, because that was the excact reaction I had, when I found out the same about one of my friends.

I found two minor nitpicks near the end:

“And now that’s one less Sue wondering the multiverse,” said Anneli.

and

“And now that’s one less Sue wondering the multiverse,” said Anneli.

I look forwards to many missions to follow.

I like the new type of Sue-Wraith, good on you for doing something different! ^^

And the Sue herself... o0. Definitely the worst SI I've seen in a while, have some bleepka on me! :P

Wow... this Sue rubs me all the wrong ways, seriously, thanks for taking care of her...

As Sues go, that's *terrible*. Good on you for sporking it. I have to admit, I totally sympathise with Anneli- I wanted to kill her so much. Great job.

You didn't need to make an entirely new topic just to thank us. You see, every new topic pushes another one off of the front page of the Boards and into general Internet obscurity. That's why we ask that you approach new topics carefully. In this case, you probably could have put the response under your original introduction thread.

Still, you're a newbie! It's understandable that you might not know these things! If you ever have questions or concerns or whatever, I'd be happy to help. My name is still up on the Big Sibling wiki list.

Cheers!

-PC

Thanks for the thanks (and have a cookie, by the way), but you should be careful with opening new threads, as each of them pushes an old one into digital oblivion.

You can use the Post Reply button instead.

For some reason, I can't get your website to come up - Firefox just says that the connection has timed out, and Internet Explorer can't load it, either. I've tried it on a couple different machines, too. Is there some way to get it to work? I'd really like to be able to read the mission.

I love The Fisherman and Evie - he's a Time Lord! She's an anthropomorphic GLaDOS! THEY FIGHT CRIME! - and this was excellent! I loved the reality melting, and I really loved:

“Well here we are again… it’s always such a pleasure,” Evie sung softly.

“Remember when you tried to kill me twice,” the Fisherman continued with a pointed glance at Evie.

“Hey, I only tried to kill you once. So far.”


However, I wonder a little bit about Evie - is she supposed to retain most of GLaDOS's personality, or has she been in HQ long enough to develop her own? Her dialogue didn't sound quite like GLADOS's - when GLaDOS speaks, it's always calm, cold, and slightly stilted, and Evie's lines sounded much more human and natural.

She's still quite the deadpan snarker, though.

Loved it!

It's awesome to see the Reality Dysfunction Index in use. I guess I figured it was more for incursions on the "real world," but this worked really well. Don't forget to update the wiki with a reference. {= )

One nitpick: Flowers don't get quotation marks, just italics.

~Neshomeh

Oh my God, this was a fun mission. I loved this mission. Loved, loved, loved it. Everything was just so funny, including how reality seemed to melt and how you had to deal with the Sue. :D

Great job, fish!

what is this i don't even...

Sorry, my brain fused for a minute there. This fic is BAD... though I kinda like the idea Haruhi Suzumiya meeting Twilight... if only for the thought of something bad happening to the Twilight canons...

Thanks for sporking this abomination, can't wait to see the next one!

Sir, we have a great mission here!

“Great, we’ve started a reality-warper bitchfight” and "Recommendation: I’m a scanner, not a doctor! Try House."
I laughed so hard at these.

Have a cookie, you deserve it!

(Mind if I add The Fisherman in a cameo in the interlude I am writing? Sergio and Corolla are quite getting lost around HQ, and they will easily run into him)

I'm sorry it didn't go on longer. I kept meaning to come back to it but getting caught up in other stuff. {= P Anyway, it's nice to see it all put together. Thanks!

Not to co-opt your thread, but I don't know if I mentioned that I also put up the logs from Henry's party in February (and my RP over there with Tungsten), if you want to see: http://starshadowhall.tripod.com/ppc/rp/

I color-coded people's posts, so let me know if anything's hard to read. Also, I'm not sure I credited all KG's and your characters right, so I'll be happy to fix anything I missed. {= )

~Neshomeh

Here, have some jaunty feathers for your new hats!

Congratulations, the three of you! ANOTHER PARTY!

Now I have more people to suck up to.

Muahaha! My plot for world domination is nearly a success! Now all I have to do is . . .

. . .

Uh. Nothing. >.> Nothing at all. <. i didn say anything.>.>

(But seriously, congratulations, all!)

~Neshomeh

Let the feast of a thousand hams begin!

Elcalion, festive

Take good care of those hats, persons - we only have an unlimited supply, and as you may recall, they're rather tricky to get right.

To those who didn't get elected this time - you did still get nominated, and I saw a lot of votes being thrown around. There's always next time. Keep PPCing!

hS

Congratulations to the three of you!

... that the editing on III will be much better? :P

hS

...thanks for rereleasing. Haha, I sound so young! Good times. :-)

Thank you so much, July and Huinesoron! I've been hoping I would have the chance to listen to these ever since I read about them on the Wiki.

*burns to CD for listening to and from work*

I'm sorry. I hope you're all right. I wish I could help in some way and not just express how I feel with words... It makes me feel helpless... I'm so sorry. There always will be another waterfall.

And I hope you are back fairly soon and able to tell us that things are better for you.

Having someone try to kill you is traumatic, especially when that person is yourself. I know, I've been there. The mind likes to block out traumatic events, makes it easier to keep going. Then, when something happens to remove the block, it all comes back and you have little choice but to deal with it.

We've only known each other for a few days, but please take care. I'll miss you.

I hope you can sort out everything, we all will miss you when while your gone. But, we'll be waiting here for you when you return! With lots of tackles and other fun stuff, so take care.

You're like my brother. You do what you gotta do, man. I look forward to stories and conversations and other stuff.

Take care, Tray. I'll miss you, and will wait for your return with breath a bated.

As we've discussed. Take care of yourself, and see you when you return.

We all care about you, Tray! I look forward to seeing you again when you're ready.

You will be missed, and we'll be here, when you're back.

I'll miss you, Tray. I really will. I hope you find what you are looking for on hiatus.

I'm going to tackle you when you get back.

Don't worry too much about us, okay? You should deal with yourself, first. I wish you good luck with all of your life's endeavors.

You looked like you could use it. Good luck with whatever you're doing.

We'll miss you. =(

Tray, We're going to miss you. I always look foward to see you on the IRC. You always make me smile by pouncing on everyone.

Take care of yourself Tray-Gnome.

So I'm just going to hug you and hope that everything goes well. *hugs Tray tightly*

Nobody can blame you for that. I know how it feels to be that utterly low, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Take a break if you need it. Take all the time you need to get yourself sorted out.

I would've responded sooner, but I wanted to make a proper review of it, since it's such a long piece. I'm addressing it to a singular "you," but please interpret as necessary according to who did what bits.

First, that fic was definitely mission-worthy, so good choice of target. I really like House, at least the earlier seasons. I also like bizarre medical mysteries, and I like to think I know a bit more about that sort of thing than the average person, but I STILL wouldn't try writing a House fic. (I have considered a crossover that gets House in the same room with Robin Cook's medical examiner characters, though, because it would be fun to watch House and Jack Stapleton butt heads, but I digress.) And then, canon subject material aside, to not even really include the canon characters at all? Argh. I almost wish I could have sporked it myself. Nume would've had a field day. {= P

Second, the concrit. There are a few specific mechanical things I noticed that could use work:

1. Sentence structure. Not so much later on, but the very first sentence in particular is a bit long and hard to follow, and it uses the "as" convention, which is a pet peeve of mine ever since "The Girl and Her Dragon." *shudders* In that particular case, I'd say drop the "as" and just make the next bit a new sentence: "[Noir] was sitting on the floor playing Solitaire," etc.

2. Dialogue tags. It isn't possible to "gesture" a sentence unless the character is using sign language, and I never got that impression of any of the three. {= ) Similarly, shrugging, nodding, or smiling speech is physically impossible. You can still use them, but as actions after a terminal period in the dialogue. So, for example:

WRONG: "Sure, go nuts. …Not literally, of course," Noir shrugged as he . . .

RIGHT: "Sure, go nuts. …Not literally, of course." Noir shrugged as he . . .

Also, it is okay to use "he said." It's one of those things readers tend to be blind to, so repeating it isn't really an issue, and I got the impression you were trying to use anything but. The trouble is, words like "uttered" are unusual and attract attention, especially if they come up more than once (I counted five). They should generally be reserved only for times you really mean it; in the case of "uttered," when a character is having to make a physical effort to speak for some reason. "Uttered in surprise" is good; not so much when "he uttered" a comment about the charge list.

3. "Plopped." You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. (I suspect you were going for "popped," as in "popped into existence.")

4. Just another quick correction—people can just discuss things. They don't need to discuss about them. They can talk about them, though.

Okay, so much for mechanical stuff. Now, content. I was a bit confused about some of your choices. For instance, the randomly-appearing girl. She only turned up twice, didn't really do anything, and was never explained. I think July mentioned that she worked with you on taking out a fourth agent, so did those couple of spots get missed in the clean-up, perhaps?

I'm also not sure about the whole thing with the RA. For one, I feel like not having a way to get out of the fic and back to HQ should have caused a lot more concern than it did. I saw some of that from Noir toward the end, which was great, but I would have liked a lot more from all of them, maybe some scrambling to think of an alternative, or a way to at least contact HQ, or something.

The fact that they ended up having it all along kinda makes me wonder if having it "missing" just added unnecessarily to the length the mission. The parts with the flashbacks and disclaimers in particular felt slow to me, especially since the agents themselves commented about how pointless they were. I imagine they could have been skipped.

And that's that! Now, the good stuff, because there definitely was good stuff. Like I said, I really enjoyed the end, where everyone was split up and Noir was faced with his demons. It might have happened sooner than you wanted, but it has definitely gotten me interested in his character. The hints about what kind of world he came from were good, too. It's like a puzzle where all the pieces are hidden, and you have to find them before you can put them together. ^^

I'm also keen to see how Ardo handles the role of CAD, though I tend to agree it's probably healthiest for everyone to rely on the devices when possible. Still, given that how Sues describe themselves and how they really behave is often so different, I can see his empathy opening an interesting window into that discrepancy. Too bad he can't use Bleeprin, though, for his sake. I guess Suebuprofen wouldn't be any better, either, since it has the same effect.

Iris is awesome. You got the creepiness across nicely, and I don't envy Noir having to put up with it. >.
The Junior reference was good imagery, too, at least for me. Not pleasant, of course, but well done.

I'm sorry if I don't say much about Nathan, but he was really just along for the ride, and he did fulfill his role as guide appropriately. (I do note that Nathan "said" things, though, so that's good. ^~ )

Oh, and the Technus bit! That was really well done. It was a nice obstacle, and a nice action sequence, and the resolution was brilliant. Chekhov's ipod, that's a new one. I liked the dialogue between Nathan and Noir afterward, too. Seriously, Noir, I know not everyone can think of witty one-liners, but ouch. I hope he never gets better, either. ^_^

Anything more is just gonna be nattering, so I think we're done here. Congrats on the first mission, Flare! {= D

~Neshomeh

The two of you did a good job! Looks good, definitely funny. The literalisms in this fic stood out the best, and Ardo was pretty well done. You're off to a great start, Flare.

Sweet baby Rassilon, that fic sounded awful. I'm sorry you or your agents had to go through that.

Still, excellent mission! And EEEEE ARDO IS SO ADORABLE. He and Noir work great together - I'll be looking forward to seeing more with them! Great job!

Wow, that was a bad fic. Also, this author needs to be checked: if she's using autisim like THAT, then she's not getting herself any fans from MY end of the spectrum.

Anyway, awesome mission, Flare! It was absolutely hilarious, and had a lot of stuff going on. I can't wait to see what you do with these agents!

Also, don't forget to update the Wiki.

Great job!

I'm granting permission, but I want you to work with a beta while you're writing your first mission, and make sure to have your works beta read after this from now on.

As far as the first mission goes, the reason I want you to work with a beta while writing it instead of waiting until it is finished is so you can get into the habit of catching your mistakes beforehand. Does that sound acceptable to you?

If so, consider permission granted.

Jake and Jay were fun to read. Always fun to see an ODST in action. Jake is right, an infinite energy sword would be amazing!

Yeah, like Phobos said, kinda MSTish, not that it wasn't very enjoyable anyway though! :D

Kinda curious about the eye thing, it reminds me of Hellstar Remina. I hope it isn't actually based on it.

That Sue was so stupid, it hurt. Nice execution method by the way.

I can't really say anything more than what Phobos already did so, nice work.

I enjoyed this mission. The fic was so brain-numbingly bad that I had to stop in a number of places to let my mind reboot.

I liked the knowledge of the canon that you brought to the table, as well. Having played the Halo games, I know some things about the continuum, such as the fact that the Covenant races have names for themselves that the humans don't use. I couldn't have told you what they were, though. The way you injected that information into the mission made sense and didn't interrupt the flow, so good work there.

And now the concrit. This felt closer to an MST than a mission, for me. I never had much of an idea of where the agents were or what they were doing, aside from writing down charges. I think that this could be fixed by doing more of the description yourself. Describe what the effect on the world is. Describe where the characters are standing and how they are avoiding notice. As it stands, there was a bit of fic, followed by a snarky comment, followed by fic, followed by a snarky comment, rinse and repeat.

Not to say that there weren't some very good descriptions on occasion. You did have a few moments where you explored the effect of the badfic. A good example was with the setting in the scene with the Prophets, which was right after the charge for "passing off the description of the locale to canon."

All in all, I think it was well done and enjoyable. The grammar in the fic was terrible, and the Sue was ridiculous. I look forward to seeing what your agents get up to in the future.

-Phobos

Can I have La Plush? Pretty please?

I gotta include a scene somewhere where my guys hear about this fic ...

I thought it was 'tempation'. Did you misspell a misspelling?

Or correct it? Does it even count as a misspelling if you corrected a misspelling in the title?

I AM CONFUSED.

This was an awesome mission! The badfic was hilariously bad and stupid, and it made for a great contrast with the end of the mission, when everything turned horribly dangerous for the agents. Excellent character development at the end, as well. I hope we still see Mordecai around in Postal a bit!

I really liked your mission. The fight scene was fun, I especially liked the bit where the agents barge in with an in character Edward Cullen.

:( Sparklewolves sound so adorable.

Also, Cave Johnson, we're done here. XD

I thought Twilight was bad enough, but THIS...

Though the thought of a naked Jacob makes me grin more than I should. Stupid sexy werewolf...

Oh. My. God. This was *awesome*. If you hadn't claimed it, I probably would have taken a shot at it myself, but you did a much better job than I could have. I have to admit, the Jacob!Stu/Kestrel fight did actually scare me a little, because the lack of description and off-hand reference to her in Medical made me think she was dead or irreparably maimed or something. But otherwise, yeah, fantastic mission.

There is, in fact, loot associated with this mission:'

One (1) viola

One (1) trumpet

One (1)clarinet

One (1)flute

One (1) oboe

One (1) trombone

and

One (1) tuba.

I think it's nice to get a Sue recruited to the PPC every once in a while, because this Sue wasn't really that terrible.

Though, the one thing I found annoying for her was something I found to be really annoying. I'm personally not a fan of musical-prodigy!Sues, what with being a musician myself. It wouldn't be so bad, except that she's an overachiver!Sue to a really egregious extent. I'm not sure her author realizes just how difficult it is to find time to practice so many instruments, and how it's pretty much impossible to master them all if you're playing that many. Yeah, we have some precedents who tried to do it (*coughPaulHindemithcough*), but he never really mastered any of the extra instruments.

At least she's college age, though, so that whole 'being good enough to get into Harvard' thing is at least somewhat plausible for at least one of her instruments. I would've had a conniption if she was 12 years old, for the same reason that I absolutely cannot stand August Rush.

Overall, fun mission!

She smiled in return and said, "Ciao, Professore." (Hello, Professor.)

“Doesn't 'ciao' mean 'goodbye?'” Lee asked Ian, her brow furrowing slightly.

“Yes. The word she was looking for was salvo, or possibly buon giorno, given that it's morning,” Ian replied. “Whoops, wait, this is our cue.” He pushed the office door open just as Xavier asked Sylvana, "Are you staying, then?"



Actually, you did some mistakes here.

First, "Ciao" can also be used to greet somebody, but is considered informal. Basically, it's "hello", "hi" and "bye" in a single word. Still not good to use to greet the Professor, though.

Second, it's "Salve" not "Salvo". Salvo is an Italian name. Rarely used and quite outdated, that is, but still a name. Or the present participle of the verb "salvare"(to save).

I noticed them probably only because I am Italian, though.

You say you're part of the PPC, and then you say that you don't like what the PPC is doing. However, you're not willing to tell us who you are in the PPC because you want to stay in the PPC while still despising it.

Am I missing something here?

... then they're too young to be online unsupervised.

We've heard pretty much all of these protest before, you know. That's why we wrote an entire article explaining exactly what we do and what we don't do. Most of your accusations fall into the latter category.

I agree that flaming is horrible - that's pretty much its definition, in my mind - but any personal attack on an adult is just as shameful. Bringing up a "woe! the children, think of the children!" argument isn't going to change that. Flaming of anyone is bad, and that's why we have a rule (an enfored rule, as far as that is possible) against it.

Also, if a child decides they're grown-up enough to post their work on the internet, not in a children-only zone, then they will be treated like everyone else. To demand otherwise would be like putting a two-year-old's finger painting in the Louvre and then shout at anyone who dares suggest it might need work. We, as readers and reviewers, are not obliged to check an author's (claimed) age before we're allowed to think, "That wasn't very good." I refer you back to the article linked above.

Other people have already responded to your post and done it so eloquently that I don't have anything to add, except this:

I looked up the authors of the fics I already have sporked and the one I'm currently working on. Their ages are 20, not stated, and 18. Two out of the three are definitely not children. They are grown women.
The fact that many badfic writers write like 12-yearolds do not mean that they actually are under-age. In fact, I'll bet you dollars to donuts, that the PPC could make a collective promise to not take on fics by writers known to be under age and it would do nothing for the frequency or content of our missions.

You don't like what we do, or consider it flaming? Fine, you are free to have your opinion and to voice it here, as long as you are civil about it, which you are.
But trying to paint us as cyberbullies who target children? You are only making yourself sound like one of those people who shout 'Think of the children!' because they have no facts or rational arguments to back up their opinion.
If you want to have a debate about whether or not what we do is flaming or bashing, that is acceptable, even encouraged, but for your own sake, leave the 'little kids' out of this.

Do I think it impossible for a member of the PPC to cross the line? No, we're human, and humans are imperfect. We all have bad days and sometimes people post without thinking.

BUT, and this is the important part, it is not considered acceptable behavior. Poking fun at badly written stories? That's fine, in fact I've poked fun at stuff I've written that was bad. And believe me, I've written some bad stuff. I just haven't shared any of it.

I agree with you that bullying is wrong, I've been a victim of it myself. I've attended schools with bullying epidemics. Some of my mental health issues are related to that bullying. I know the difference between criticism and bullying. I've not witnessed the latter from the PPC, if I had I wouldn't be here.

I'm not going to really spend a whole lot of time talking about the actual post from our anonymous friend. I think most of you have covered that fairly well. I do want to bring to your attention something that I have noticed in recent times.

Self-censoring, or rather, the lack thereof.

I think it is great that everyone is standing up and saying that we don't flame and we don't bash authors. This should be the case. However, it isn't entirely true, is it?

I am, by nature, a lurker. I sit in the corner and watch what is going on. What I have seen disturbs me sometimes. I've voiced these concerns to the people involved, in the form of a warning as part of my position as DA in the chat or here on the Board. I think it is time I bring these issues to the forefront.

First: This is the one we are working on. I have seen a number of occasions of author bashing in the chat. We are working on this one, so I am not as worried about it. When it comes up, I remind everyone that it is Not Cool. They apologize and stop. This is what we want to happen. What we don't want is for it to start back up the next time a badfic is mentioned.

Some of you will tell me that it is in the heat of the moment and you can't control it. I will tell you this only once; I Don't Care. If you can't control what you are saying then keep your mouth shut until you can. This goes for swearing, as well, though I will not get into that here.

Second: I can think of at least one mission recently that had author bashing in it. This one is the really worrying one. This is completely unacceptable. There is no reason that author bashing should make it through the editing process.

Betas, take note, if author bashing makes it into a finished mission, you are just as responsible as the person that wrote it. It is the job of a beta to weed that sort of thing out. That said, I don't blame the betas for this example. The bashing was in an author's note, and I know that those usually get added in right before posting.

Confession time: I have looked back at that mission and the thread it was posted in. I am ashamed to say that I didn't say anything at the time. In fact, no one said anything about it. One person said something about the levels of animosity that the agents had, but nothing about the bashing in the note.

So, as much as I would like to be with you guys in saying that we don't do these things; we do. In most cases, we are working to keep it from happening, which is good. In at least one case, it happened without comment, which I think outweighs the good of working on it.

You will notice that I didn't use any names. I would appreciate it if anyone that comments would do the same. I will be talking to the author of that mission to get the bashing removed, as soon as possible.

OK, I'm possibly over-analysing the statement too much, but allow me to play devil's advocate to our anomynous friend here and provide a few counter-points.

To the best of my knowledge, I have seen no PPCer's work here directly flame the author for their work. And has already been pointed out, both within the PPC Constitution and the Wiki, there are deliberate boundaries established. The author is never, NEVER to be "flamed", as you have postulated - the PPC is concerned with the story, not the author.

Have you seen some of the reviews on FF.net for some of the "questionable" works? You're more likely to find "Throw yourself off a cliff" remarks within the reviews section then in a PPC mission.

Yes, some Agents tend to focus primarily on the faults of the work in question, but I have seen assignments where Agents complimented the author IN-TEXT where the author does well in a particular aspect and/or do their best. For example, in the fic I am sporking, the author seems to make a genuine effort of his/her work and it truely shows. OK, so there are some canon deraiment and some questionable actions depicted, but the author is clearly trying to do the best possible.

Third, bear in mind most fanfiction sites' TOS. The Pit of Voles and some of it's more adult cousins clearly dictate that all writers have to be of an appropriate age and, more often then not, have a fair understanding and implementation of the language they write in. I understand if it is someone trying to learn a different language, but when someone who is of an old eough age, writing in their native language and throwing most of what they know out the window, well, wouldn't it be surprising if they are critisised for that blunder? And don't get me started on writing in textspeak when not quoting an SMS.

Finally, as far as I know, we do not discriminate against younger writers. It's an unfortunate fact, however, that they make up part of our sporkable demograph, and even then, we are trying to take their learning experiances in mind when we spork.

Many of the issues the PPC tackle are not new - I direct you to this article - written by Mark Twain, who calls into question some of the writing issues of a professional writer's work:

http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/railton/projects/rissetto/offense.html

So, if it is bad that we are parodying bad writing behind an author's back, how bad do you think these authors might react if confronted directly? Or, worse, if they go into the professional writing scene

In conclusion, are we delibratly trying to be an elitist group of writers who flame bad writers? NO.

Do we believe writers have the capability to improve? YES.

He's an actor on Sesame Street (plays the angry neighbour). He said: "I'm not interested in the fragile child's soul. You can't damage it enough, I think."

On the other hand, I try not to PPC things written by people under the age of 16. At least, most are over 18 by the time I PPC their fic.

I'm fairly certain that the purpose of the PPC is to write amusing stories poking fun at badly written fanfiction while simultaneously giving some pointers here and there to help the authors improve. There's no 'flaming' going on that I can see.

Also keep in mind that the Agents in the missions are fictional characters, and their authors are mature enough to avoid using them as mouthpieces to bash the badfic writers. Many Agents are at least a little insane, several homicidally so, and so if one says the author of a badfic should be *nasty and probably painful thing here*, that does not necessarily mean the person who writes them feels that way.

If you feel a PPCer has personally attacked you or a friend of yours, then I would suggest explaining why you feel offended in as clear and polite a manner as possible. If the conflict is kept to a reasonable level, a satisfactory agreement may be reached. One or both of you may even learn something from it.

If you're a troll, though, you're not doing a very good job of it. Unless you are.

MINDSCREW OH GOD

1)You realize, of course, that because IP addresses are automatically shown here, that we already know who you are, right? Next time, at least use a proxy.

2) Most of your post has already been addressed, but I feel compelled to chime in: I think you meant 'revoke,' not 'evoke,' and seeing as you don't yet actually have permission, it couldn't have been revoked... and even if you did, we do not, and have never, 'revoked' permission/licensing/whatever. Especially not for someone who is trying to, or thinks they are, making a valid point.

3) Read the Constitution, if you please. We welcome discussion, and, as a group, we've had many constructive conversations on what we're doing, if it's okay/right/bullying, and how we could do it better. Posting something anonymously critical, with absolutely no evidence to support your point, and then sockpuppeting a response... that's not the way to go about that.

4) Since you have, of course, read the Constitution, you must know that flaming is actually on our list of things Not To Do. You may also notice that the posts here are, even in response to something as obviously critical as this, civil. The PPC doesn't flame.

5) However, people do occasionally flame and use our name as a reason or cover. If you've seen this happen? Please let us know. Don't blame our site/authors/organization for something some idiot did, using us as a shield.

And-- once again. We don't do the 'revoke' thing. Just put your name down, okay?

--VM

...to believe your story about being an "assassin" for one second.

I smell butthurt. To this, I tell you this: if you think what we do is flaming, then God help you if an ACTUAL flamer were to touch your stuff.

Trust me on that. I've been there, and it was a LOT less pretty than you think.

By the way, we don't call ourselves "assassins".

I am sorry, I know I am either feeding a troll or offending a boarder, but this post made me mad enough that I took a walk, ate dinner, and screamed at a tree before I could muster a coherent reply.

So basically your post is anti-criticism. We shouldn't criticize bad fanfiction because a child could have written it and then we are somehow criticizing a child who so innocent and simply trying to learn.

I am sorry. I have enormous problems with this like you wouldn't believe. And no, I don't care if you use 'you know it to be true.' Because you know what? I think you are very wrong.

"We shouldn't criticize children!"

This is incredibly offensive to children. It's so horribly condescending I have to go stick my head out a window before I can type more. ... OK, I'm done.

So by this logic, we should be less critical of Eragon because Paloni wrote it when he was 15 or so. Should we should put it in the same category as say... The Original Series, which was also written by what we would consider 'young' writers?

No. Just no. You are insulting good, young writers out there by deciding to bring THEM down to the same level as a terrible fanfiction. Yes, young people should be treated equally and with respect, but there's that term: EQUALLY. By placing them in another category that is automatically less capable than some default category you brand ALL OF THEM, not just the bad ones, as inferior.

Don't believe me? What your post says boils down to is "It's OK if they're bad at writing because they're just children."

Just children

Congratulations, you have just condescended to ALL young people. Yes, flaming is sick and bad. But that's not our mission.

And those little children 'just trying to LEARN!'... A lot of them aren't. One of our qualifications for going after bad fanfic in the first place is that the writer simply doesn't try, or has utter disregard for aspects of the canon they're trying to write. It is not in the spirit of the PPC to go after stories that care about trying to be good stories. It is in the spirit of the PPC to go after stories that clearly disregard effort for cheap self-satisfaction: written by a young OR and older author. Older authors can be horrible, too! A friend of mine was horrified to discover the longtime badfic she's been following was in fact written by somebody who has graduated college... yet the fic displays a total lack of comprehension about going to school at all, public OR private OR homeschool!

Disclaimer after disclaimer proclaims 'this was written on sugar high its not supposed to be good SO DONT FLAME ME I AM NOT EVEN TRYING' Does THAT sound like people trying to learn how to write to you? The ones that ARE trying to learn do things like take constructive criticism (which we give freely if asked!), truly TRY to make interesting characters, and put real EFFORT into their work... or at least put the effort to use spellcheck into it!

Being uncritical of things is never the answer. The PPC is basically literary criticism of fanfiction. Raising no-effort products brings those who really do try down to their level, and it is just downright INSULTING... not just to really good young writers, but to my past self, who was not so good.

Because I wouldn't have gotten here if somebody didn't call my work bad or stupid once or twice. I wouldn't be in college learning to be a journalist, and I wouldn't have tried so hard to improve myself.

Flames are bad, yes. But nothing will stop me from comparing the bad to the good, figuring out why, and then doing something about it.

Critics do good.

Peace, Aster out.

(PS:
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends)

We do what we do, we do it for a reason, and we keep a thick brick wall between author and fic. That's far more than flamers do.

Just personally, I'm guessing you're someone whose fic got PPCed and found out and came to vent, due to your constant reference to "children" and "flames." I could be wrong, of course.

"even though some of them themselves were not at all learned and merely readers."

We have a response to this sort of thing in the FAQ. It's along the lines of "I'm a reader, and I know what works for readers. I DON'T have to be a writer to say these things."

"They. FLamed. A. CHild. That's sick."

It's nice to be nicer to younger people, but if the younger person's fic sucks they're still going to get criticism. Not everything done to children is "sick."

"Thinking that it was 'cool', they thought up a name for the rather dumb characters they made fun of- Mary-Sues."

I suggest you redo your research on where the name came from.

"These 'flamers' could get ARRESTED if someone tried."

Really? I suppose fourth-grade bullies get arrested too? Or highschool cliques? I doubt it.

"criticizing little kids"

Sheesh. You really aren't a PPCer, are you.

"It's a bit pathetic, don't you think? Flame me, delete this post, but you know its true. Some of us don't like ourselves enough, so they make fun of a child's attempt at getting better at something."

No. We don't.

"Oh, and if you DO flame this, you're probably just as bad as the rest of them."

Translated, means "If you disagree with or criticize me, that proves I'm right."

Have you even read the FAQ? Somehow I doubt it.

"my Assassin license evoked"

Pardon my typo-induced laughter.

I have read many PPC missions and most comments are towards the fic itself, not the writer. Although I will admit that some comments, said by agents during a particularly stressful mission, can be rather harsh.

You are perhaps the single most reasonable sounding troll I've ever had the pleasure of coming across.

Any person who wrote a mission that literally told the author to 'go f*ck/kill yourself' would be kicked out of the door so fast that causality would be violated.

Any of them? We don't bash authors. We don't HATE authors. We ARE authors.

While you do make some good points about flaming and cyberbullying (Albeit ones that have been made beforehand) you seem to not grasp what WE are about.

Do a little more research before you post, 'k?

As far as I can tell...

The PPC doesn't flame people. If a story itself is bad, yes, we may rag on the story, but we help the person who wrote it, if they decide they would like our help in writing and betaing and brainstorming. We don't attack the people writing.

I've always been under the impression that if the authors really were showing some effort and trying to improve themselves, we left them alone. I wonder how I got that idea. How silly of me. I must not have been paying attention at all these past eight years or so.

I agree that flaming is bad, though. We absolutely discourage that sort of thing around here. Glad to see we have something in common.

~Neshomeh

P.S. I'm guessing you meant "revoked." To evoke something is to call upon it or bring it to mind.

The PPC takes a very strong stance against bullying. We make a very clear definition between the authors and the fics, and flaming is severely frowned upon here. We mock fics. We don't mock authors, and we definitely don't bully them. We encourage good writing, and if we can create more of it by poking a little fun at bad writing, that's fine.

Seriously, hon, it's clear as crystal you're not a member of the PPC. We don't hide our names for fear of getting our "Assassin licences evoked" (I think you meant "revoked", by the way) because we don't have Assassin licences.

You're here to stir up trouble, and you're not doing a very good job. Have a rotten tomato.*

*sniffs* A scent of old socks and public toilets... Very recognisable smell.

TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL IN THE DUNGEON!




*Oh, and if any of the Boarders think this was a flame, they're welcome to tell me where I need to ease off.

... wouldn't be afraid to use his or her name to voice their opinion, and especially not create a sockpuppet just to support this kind of rant.

I haven't seen any kind of mission in which an author was attacked directly. We just poke fun at the silly stuff appearing in some fanfiction.

If you're an author or a friend of an author one of us has targeted, I can understand that you might feel angry - but is it really worth it to try and sow discord among us instead of trying to talk with us on a calm and friendly basis?

Because we DO offer advice to people who are willing to listen and improve themselves, but not if they don't voluntarily approach us. Just take the missions with a grain of salt, we're doing this all in good jolly fun and aren't out to hurt anyone :3

But, your responder is from the same IP as you.

Your IP hasn't shown up on the board recently.

We don't flame people- and we tell people off who do such. We do not allow bashing of others here. We take it seriously. Anyone who does do so is not following in the PPC spirit and do get chastised.

Your entire post is very cute, though, and if you had actual evidence, it would be taken more seriously.

Try harder next time, yeah?

I agree with anonymous- some of us can be rather harsh...

Yeah, that badfic was all kinds of silly and egregious. I don't really know Alex Rider all that well, but still, I can see why there were a ridiculously large number of issues with that particular fic.

Good job sporking it, you two! =D

Interesting mission, but what exactly were the mini-vala? I'm still not sure why they have been named after the valar from LotR, and why they exist.

Can my Floater Agents (who I'm still writing out) exorcise a continuum even if I don't have the proper canon materials in real life? Or say, if I'm sporking a Simpsons badfic (and I have one squarely in my sights for future sporking) and I don't have the season DVDs but have a bunch of books instead?

I've been wondering this for a bit. Continuum vs. universe vs. canon.

Say we have Continuum A and Continuum B. Continuum A does not reference Continuum B. Continuum B makes a few references in-canon to Continuum A, of the kind that one would make to something real. Taken on their own by someone who only knows Continuum B, the references are pretty much throwaway, but for someone who knows both A and B, they may connect the continua. B also has extra-canon material and/or Word of God that connects the two in some way.

So, are A and B in the same universe? The same continuum? What is canon and what is not?

In other words, if I write about Portal in any capacity, do I have to treat it as connected to Half Life in any way?

My brain says "So Aperture has a rival company named Black Mesa that supposedly stole their technology. Nothing else explicit is stated in-canon. Nice coincidence with Half Life, but no absolute connection."

I am doubting my brain in the technicality of this.

Because I knew I was forgetting to ask something!

Right, so, in this book series I read- a fairly obscure one- there are two characters that are mentioned; Twins, Delwin and Sand, if that's relevant. Anyway, these twins are mentioned as probably being dead because they ran off a while before the books even started to do their own thing.

However, faking death is kind of a theme in their family; Even the main character was thought to be dead and it was a huge surprise to everyone when he showed up.

They're mentioned all of two or three times throughout the whole ten-book series and in the prequels and short stories subsequent to it. We don't get descriptions, characterization, personalities...Nothing but their names and parentage. They never show up and none of the other characters care because they're not legitimate children of the king, and therefore not a threat to getting the throne.

Basically, what I'm asking is if it would be allowed to use the two of them as agents, with proper credit to the author, of course.

In all probability, I'm not going to be allowed because copyrighted characters, but hey, might as well ask, right?

Have some welcome-back Bleepka!

You already have permission. Go forth and write your agents as you will.

Good to have you back.

-Phobos

Have some molten-scenery-gloop, made from real disintegrated reality! Freshly collected, er... about two weeks ago. I'd recommend against eating it because the last time someone tried that... *flips through slightly toasted lab report*... well I think that page was destroyed in the explosion, but suffice to say that it's a bad idea.

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and hey, it whisks eggs! It's also particularly useful for getting rid of those pesky author wraiths and spambots. Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy your stay. :-)

I also came here from Tv Tropes! Well, you'll be very welcome here! Have a flamethrower, fueled by the finest flames! (flames as in reviews) You can literally set anything on fire with this flamethrower! (If you become flamethrower crazy, or in Tropenese Ax Crazy, I promise to take the blame. Just in case you become flamethrower crazy, I am crazy prepared and the flamethrower will explode if in the hands of an insane man... person... thing.

Welcome to the madhouse!

Here is a selection of things with points, including, but not limited to: Skewers, spears, asparagus and a get out of TvTropes free card.

Have an open file descriptor!

Have some chocolate, won't you?

Hi, have some fudge!

Glad to meet you, Mr/Mrs/Miss/Other/Undefined desdendelle!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object!

Have a cup of strong herbal tea and a sequined fez as welcomming gifts!

Hi! Have a Holy Hand Grenade! (Do not use against rabbits)

Welcome! You've caught us in a bit of an adjustment period, so please allow me to help you settle in with some useful information. First, if you haven't already done so, please go read our Constitution. This is the thing we all agree to in order to keep it fun here, in the IRC, etc.

Second, the Original PPC Series by Jay and Acacia. Pretty much what it says on the tin—this is our canon, if you will, so it's a good idea to read it in order to get an idea of what we're all doing here.

Third, we have a wiki! For tons more information, much of which is specifically aimed at newcomers, I heartily recommend reading the front page and going from there.

... If you haven't noticed, this is a reading-intensive hobby. I hope you're into that. *g*

Also, please ask any questions you may have—preferably in this thread while it's still near the top, since each new thread pushes an older one off the front page.

Anyway, welcome to the Board! Have a complimentary bumper sticker. *sticks on a sticker reading "Got SPaG?"*

~Neshomeh

Hello Desden.
Would you like to play a game?

Have a bag of references. *Pulls one out of the bag* Ooooh look! Screw the rules I have money! Thats always a good one. Anyways, welcome to the PPC!

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to the sack of venomous arthropods. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Welcome to the PPC! Have some edible ball bearings - Earth is the only planet that's got them, you know!

(Also, you'll find lots of fellow Tropers here - many of us, myself included, discovered the PPC through TVtropes. And as for the crazy, we love the crazy, you'll fit right in!)

Of course you can rewrite and repost if you don't feel happy about what you wrote.

I rewrote my first PPC mission entirely after I had a few more missions under my belt. It's a much better mission now.

You don't need our okay to improve yourself.

I've been contemplating doing that to my very first mission for years, now. I just never get around to it.

If you don't think it's up to snuff or there's some part in it you regret, then by all means, rework it. Such is the privilege of publishing on the Internet.

Your work, your decision.

We don't force people to do anything, and it is your work to rewrite.

(This also could've gone in the question thread down below. ;P)

I want to run through a couple of concerns that I have with your request.

1) There are some inconsistencies with your potential agents. I see a number of traits that seem to have been tacked on without any reasoning. Lophy's archaic dialect is a good example of this. She was born to American-born parents who, as proof of still being American in their language and thinking, named her Rachel instead of something more common to the region that they live in now. If they speak English, why does she have an archaic dialect?

Another example would be with your third potential agent. I know that she isn't as fully formed as the others, but there are some problems in her basic description. She has black hair, red eyes, and totally white skin. That I can live with. But why does everyone think she is a Twilight Vampire? Does she sparkle in the sun? I don't see much in her description that would make me think Twipire.

Giving a character traits to help them stand apart from every other agent out there is a good thing. However, there has to be a reason for it.

2) I hate to say this, honestly, but I believe the OC in both of your writing samples is a Mary Sue. She appears for no discernible reason, in the first one, bringing with her all the knowledge needed to solve this riddle. In the second one, she is the narrator and claims to have been left out of the common stories, while also claiming to have been there the whole time and even taking partial credit for the realizations that the Pevensie's made in their journeys.

For these reasons I am going to have to say Permission Denied, for now. Your writing skills are excellent, I didn't notice any problems there. So, work on your agents and maybe write them a short introduction piece for when you re-apply.

-Phobos, available for questions if needed.

... Could we have a bio for that one, too?

~Neshomeh