Jul 2011 Archive, part b

I'm doing the editing/betaing type thing with giving concrit paragraph by paragraph in the chatroom most afternoons/evenings with him. People are welcome to join in and help if they want.

I could help with the plot, but I'm completely useless with SPaG. And it's ok if you want to ignore or throw pebbles at me afterwards.

The genre of "fantasy" is pretty broad. It can encompass some very opposite stories. For instance, is it a medieval setting or a modern setting? Both can be fantasy, but they require different knowledge to competently judge for realism. Perhaps you could give a short summary? I also agree with July's question; about how long is it?

How long is the piece in question, and what sort of time frame do you consider as acceptable for having it take a long time in?

I am not the beta you are looking for. However, I will say that you have come to the right place. This is one aspect of the PPC community that I am proud of. We don't just mock bad writing, we are willing to put our skills to use by helping make writing better.

I am sure you will find a beta before too long.

Many of us remember how bad (and ignorant) we were when we first started writing; this is likely the case with your friend, right? Eventually, she'll probably grow up and get her act together, and even if that is not the case, it's not something you should worry too much about. Your friendship is more important.

But should she? Does she really want to post stuff that will make her look like she is clueless?

It would be a lie to say I've never written anything bad. After all, I've done NaNoWriMo and when you're spewing out the words because you're running behind on the 20th quality isn't something you can afford to worry about.

But there are a few things I would say to your friend:
First: Why write a fanfiction if you're not going to stay (reasonably) true to the setting and characters?

I'd point out that if you want people to understand your writing it's important to have decent grammar. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I would make a point of asking for clarification wherever bad grammar makes things confusing. Naturally this includes the paragraph thing.

Sure she can do what she wants. She could sit around on the couch eating twinkies all day, but that doesn't make it a good idea.

but you can't make them drink.

Try what WhiteRaven and Aster have suggested: Be polite and take it one thing at a time.

Sendri is right about if Sam doesn't take the advice well. It's like therapy. The first step is admitting you have a problem. If she doesn't admit her writing has problems, she cannot change it.

Worry about one thing at a time, and only if she asks your opinion.

She asks, "Is it good?" and you say, "I dunno, would (character) really say/do that? It doesn't feel like they're themselves..."

And just leave it at that. Then if they ask you again, point out something different. I know it's hard, but the most luck I have had in creative writing suggestions (was teaching assistant in a kids creative writing workshop) is to point out one thing at a time.

People get discouraged if you dump "These are ALL the reasons why your story sucks" on them. I find the point is not to tell them the story is bad, but point out what parts of it could be better or what parts of it they didn't think through so well...

It's a sad truth that writers are never going to improve until they're ready and willing to do so, and trying to push them only causes hurt feelings. If you want to try, then certainly, be as delicate as WhiteRaven suggests, but this sort of thing often turns nasty, and my advice would be to focus your frienship on aspects of your life other than writing, as much as that's possible.

My sympathies on having to read something to painful :(

Personally, I'd answer her "I can do whatever I want" thing by telling her that if she's any sort of fan, she'll treat the characters and setting with respect and try to do the anime justice. Tactfully point out all the mistakes and ask if she'd tolerate that in a book she was reading, then respond to her "it's only fanfiction" line with what the FAQ has to say on the subject. Try to push her in the right direction with the fic, and if she won't listen, well..

...that's what the PPC is for.

I just skimmed over it, and I have to say, that looks pretty bad. I don't even know the canon, either. Just...the writing itself (everything you mentioned). Wow.

Well, if you're really bothered by it and feel like you should talk to your friend about it, then I'd say to just phrase everything very...delicately. You don't want to ruin a friendship over bad writing, right? Perhaps you can suggest she get a beta or offer to give her some pointers? If she's one of those people who believes that her writing is God's gift to the world, though, it may just be better to leave her be and not bring it up. Spork it if you'd like, or don't. It all comes down to whether or not you want to push the issue with her (and how well would she take it).

Sorry I don't have better advice.

Welcome to the PPC fellow newbie! Have some Turkish delight, as you've probably already received tons of chocolate.

Have some chocolate, and a crate of Bleepka.

Welcome to the madness Board!

I wouldn't worry about your sanity, we're all mad here!

Here, have a singing fish. Just don't ask it to sing the 'My Little Pony' theme song, because you'll never get it to stop.

Have a guitar! But I don't seem to find the strings, so you'll have to buy them yourself.

Hello there, you.
Have a sparkly baton.
Good for both putting on shows and beating people in the hard.

Welcome! Here's a pack of cinnamon gum.

Welcome, new friend! Have some peanut butter lembas! (And yes, we are happy.)

Hello! Have a biscuit! and a Spas-12!

BTW, what fandoms are you looking at guarding?

As long as you have a towel, it's okay.

Also, have some awesome-laced cookies.

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome! Have some menudo and a goat.

As for the rules, it looks like someone's already pointed you in the right direction, but I should tell you not to stress too much. If you're civil, you'll find we don't bite (much); this place is generally informal.

And sanity is supposed to be checked at the door, so it looks like you're in good shape. :D

It's always awesome to have new guys here! Read the rules, and welcome to the Board.

Here, have some Dutilleux for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4islKTD7Ir0

BUT, before you start writing, I'd like to see the other two components we ask for in a Permission request - namely, a link to the badfic you'd like to tackle as your first mission and your agent bios (/character summaries). Looking way way back, I found short versions in your previous request, but it seems you've completely overhauled ???/Lanyon/Bob since then, so I'd like to see new ones, please.

I was a bit concerned to see that you haven't posted much on the Board since making your last request, but going back a few pages, I see you were active enough before that, and I trust you won't stop coming here and chatting from now on, so no worries.

That said, I loved your writing sample! I wasn't active when you made your last request and don't know what that version looked like, but you've clearly taken the advice you were given and the result is lovely. The humour is subtle and well constructed, and the two agents play off each other beautifully - "Bob", indeed! They're endearing, both of them, and should be great fun to see in active missions.

As a side note, I do hope you won't keep referring to him as Lanyon/Bob in narration - perhaps just "Lanyon" for narration, and restrict "Bob" to Karen's dialogue? IF you make it clear that she's trying to annoy him, that should make things clear enough to any reader without losing your meaning.

Also, are you aiming for an omniscient third person point-of-view here? Sometimes we're in Lanyon's head and sometimes in Karen's, and while I freely admit I didn't even notice the first time I read through this, it's a rather important point to keep in mind as you write.

Aside from that, you've got a few small things that I'd pick on if I were your beta (no offense to Anjilly - she's done a great job), but nothing that warrants being pointed out here. If you write all your missions to this kind of standard, they should be very good indeed.

Congratulations :)

Welcome to the board! Have some goat milk; I hope you enjoy your time here. c:

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Here's your two cents. You'll need to add them to a thread at some point.

Howdy and welcome to the PPC board!

Welcome, new friend! Have a vial of Glistening Oil! Just don't open it. Ever. Especially if you're on any kind of world at the time.

Hello, hello, hello!
have an...er...Ah! Have a holy hand grenade! (warning:do not let near rabbit)

It's always awesome to have new guys around here!

Here, have some John Cage for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExUosomc8Uc

Have some Swiss chocolate and some Bleepka. They'll both come in very handy when dealing with Sues.

Here you have a toy Smiting Hammer of Heaven's Army (TM) and a green-eyed puppy.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

First javelin! *flings it your way* Glad to see you decided to jump in; I've only been talking with you about the PPC for, what, four years?

Are we talking the original Victor Hugo novel, or the Disney version of "Hunchback of Notre Dame"?

. . . that this one hasn't shown up here before. It's been notorious on the GAFF/WGW boards for years; Danisha is a bit of a figure of horror in some circles. Not quite Legendary Badfic, but definitely long past high time she was taken care of.

I'm not all that familiar with the canon, so I can't comment much on the fic itself (although I certainly wouldn't disagree with the 'needlessly convoluted' part).

However, the important thing is that someone else on here watches 'The Fanfiction Critic'! Yay!

Okay...so, if this were based on the book, it could be forgiven: in the book, Frollo is a complex, conflicted character with real humanity. It is not. It is movie Frollo, who is, hands-down, the most evil villian in Disney history: Why do so many people insist on putting him in leather pants?

OK, I just read your entire sporking (and strangely can't do long division anymore. Possibly related) and I can clear up some of the stranger parts. In the horrible orgiastic mess of fandoms here collected, one of the ones the author-creature is leaning on most heavily for source material is Warhammer 40K.

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Main_Page
Interestingly enough, 40K does have a character called "Abaddon the Despoiler," the Warmaster of Chaos. Being a genetically engineered super-duper soldier, assuming that he's actually the main character makes this story almost 2.6% less insane.

I know I got one, but where did I put it? Damn my morbid curiosity... This is the third time in the past two days that I am forced to bleach my brain...
Excellent job with the sporking; it made it almost halfway bearable. But not quite. I'm not sure that ANYTHING could make that thing bearable...

I'm about halfway through, and. . . WOW. Is there a running tally of fandoms involved? So far, off the top of my head: Alien, Terminator, The Matrix, Warhammer 40K, and Resident Evil.

...because I think I'd have serious trouble reading that 'raw'.

Sweet Celestia that thing was awful. Kudos to you for sporking it. Now where did I put my bleeprin?

Wait... I know that name...

*checks*

I KNEW IT! That's the same sick bastard who wrote the Raptor Fic!

Well. Now I know that's not an exaggeration.

Welcome fellow newbie! Have a sentient and possibly homicidal A.I.. They're great at parties.

Hi fellow newb! Have a chainsaw!

Enjoy this glass of orange juice!

Have a bowl of Generic Fruit and more Bleeprin.

But the people here are cool.

Have some Glistening Oil. It will change your life.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Welcome, friend I've already met! Have a data disc! Because it's nearly midnight and I'm too tired to think of anything more original!

*Waves enthusiastically*

Here's some Bleepka and orange juice. Mix them together for a drink called the Sonic Screwdriver. Use it to blot out memories of badfic, get drunk, and get your daily recommended dose of Vitamin C all at once.

I didn't realize you hadn't introduced yourself on the Board.

So, Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

You, sir/madam, have made me laugh out loud several times with your mission reports. Keep up the good work!

DONUT ORC BLOB.

I laughed SO hard at that line.

Well, as hard I as could, considering that it was 2 AM and I didn't want to wake my parents.

Donut orc blob... *goes off to laugh some more*

Wait, what? Eva is my name! My actual first-name! How dare they give my name to that stupid bint! How dare ... *goes of to rant in corner*

*comes back from rant in corner* Anyway, good mission! Thumbs up! And I like them long.

DX Sorry about the brainfart.

Anyway, the mini up for adoption is Uruk-kia, the other two are already owned.

Oh, and the pooch (that Eva had for some strange reason)is also up for grabs. For anyone interested, he'll be wandering around HQ, so he has a high chance of entering rooms randomly and stealing food when your not looking.

As for the recruitables, I already promised those to Miah a while back.

Just as a note: whenever you post a mission here, it's customary for us to write out the minis and the recruits we get from a mission in the post. Just for future reference.

Otherwise, that was a really fun mission. :D

What a stupid Sue. I don't understand the ones who know all the details of canon and then decides to muck it up badly.
I agree with Neshomeh, I would also like some more quotes of the stupidity. But other than that, good job!

I'm glad Piper will be looked after. Being a Sue doesn't exactly come with practical knowledge of how to take care of yourself, does it?

Stuff I noticed:

1. I'm not sure how "Thranduil for the short time formality stands between us" is a mini. Looks like a missing comma rather than a misspelling to me, like the Long Table Elrond from OFUM.

2. There were a few times I would have liked to see a quote from the fic to go with the silly shenanigans, like when Legolas was being a wig. How did that happen?

3. It's awkward dealing with a chapter heading as part of a sentence, especially when the normal line picks up with a capital letter, like with this one:

The Shadow
Ch 7
Dwarves

Skidded over head, narrowly missing Piper, again.

I think formatting it differently might help. Maybe, "The heading for chapter seven, 'Dwarves,' skidded overhead, narrowly missing Piper again." You already demonstrated what the headers look like, so the reader should be able to visualize it at this point.

That's it for nitpicks. I always enjoy the serious character development you do in your missions while also keeping the humorous elements in play. Also, Farawen is awesome. She seems to be getting along well in HQ. ^_^

~Neshomeh

And the gifts! Chocolate and weapons and bleepka (mmm, bleepka), hooray! Answering a few questions...

I don't remember which TVTropes article it was. I think it was on the "TVTropes Will Enhance Your Life" page that lists different fandoms people recommended or discovered through the site. I'm not one hundred percent sure though.

I mentioned some of my fandoms in an early reply, but I'll be a bit more extensive here. Video Game fandoms: Halo, Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo, Elder Scrolls, Gears of War, Fable, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy VII and X, and the Half-Life-verse. Literary & Movie fandoms: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Narnia, His Dark Materials, The Wheel of Time, Harry Potter, Crosstime Traffic and Southern Victory Series (both by Harry Turtledove), Firestar (title of the first book of a four book series by Michael Flynn), the Tortall-verse from Tamora Pierce, and the Foundation-verse. TV fandoms: Lost, House, and Futurama. Web Original fandoms: Red vs. Blue, Tales of MU, the Whately Academy-verse, and of course the Protectors of the Plot Continuum.

My exposure to fanfiction has actually been almost non-existent over the years. The closest I've come has been Red vs. Blue and some (generally good) video game webcomics. Over the last month I've seen quite a few thanks to the missions and MSTs done by Agents. I'm feeling some dread over the possible creation of a pair of agents of my own, since I'll have to actually read the fanfiction without the catharsis provided by other Agents fixing/mocking it. It's probably inevitable because I do have a bit of a morbid fascination with badfic; it's why I read the entire Twilight series after seeing a few comics/shorters/MSTs of it. Ah well, Bleep products will fix the mental scarring, right? Right??

Hi! Hello! Greetings!

Have a Holy Hand Grenade! (Not to be used near rabbits or lagomorphs of any type)

Welcome newbie! Have a sentient and possibly homicidal A.I.. They're great at parties.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

Hi! Have some fudge!

Which TVTropes article linked you to the PPC main? I found it through the list of organizations based on threat level.

Enjoy this Buggre Alle This Bible, now with twenty new verses!

Oooh, another newbie? Have some more Bleepka! You'll need it!

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous arthropod. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Hey there! It's always great to see newbies around other than me. xD So,uh,what fandoms do you like?

Unfortunately, since you are themann and I enjoy rock music, I am contractually obligated to stick it to you. No hard feelings.

We are glad you've decided to come here.

Have some Glistening Oil. You won't be compleat without it.

Have a blue ceramic teapot and a box of paper clips. What fandoms do you like?

Have some chocolate, some Bleepka, and your two cents.

And while I don't know about User Tawaki, I do know that Agent Tawaki created Nick.

I think that's a wonderful idea! And Firebird is right, there's a lot of opportunity for conflict/comedy just in the nature of the relationship, let alone any clashing personalities/quirks they might have. I'd say go for it if it's what you want to do! :D

As far as I can tell, anyone can be partners with anything as long as they are not Mary Sues and not boring. That's just my personal opinion though, (and a newbie's one at that) and I'm sure it varies from person to person. c:

There's a lot of comedy potential there, especially if the author had been one who liked tormenting her characters.

"You made me ruin my best friend's career for a plot point?!"

"Well, someone had to get shafted. And it built character. Stop hitting me with the CAD already!"

Sort of. Do bit characters count?

I re-wrote it recently with input from others, and I think it'll answer your questions.

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission

~Neshomeh

Have some Mary Sue candy!

Hey, welcome to the Board! Have a toy unicorn that shoots laser beams out of its horn!

And out of curiosity, is your username an Electric Six reference?

Have some Bleepka and some Swiss Chocolate. They'll come in very handy when you're on missions.

See Title, fellow newcomer!

Have a rocketlauncher and a tire iron! They will come in handy, believe you me.

Here's your two cents (and a crate of Bleepka)!

Welcome newbie! Have a sentient robot. They're great at parties.

Welcome to the PPC. Here, have a Hand of Vecna. You have to cut off your hand to use it properly, but other than that it makes a great memento and I guess you could use it as a small melee weapon to slap Mary Sues across the face if you're so inclined.

Hey there, Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous invertebrate. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Yeah, I found the PPC through TV Tropes as well. Here, take some Bleepka, you're gonna need it!

BTW, what are your main fandoms?

I'm actually kinda new myself ^^ Everyone here has been totally cool so far, and I hope you're having a much fun as I am! :)

so,uh,what fandoms are you into?

From another among the Sanity Free.

On the other hand, if Sanity is how Lovecraft was usually, I wanna be crazy.

He's your first gift: a military surplus Imperial comlink!

...I want to spork one for my first mission. :D

And how do you miss only two notes on a Bach sonata and "stink" at music? You'd think if your that good at piano you'd at least be okay at music.

Obi-Wan dies before Qui-Gon? Please tell me that's just a joke.

Textbook Sues are fun. And the grammar isn't so terrible that I'll miss the forest through the trees. Thanks! (For the alert, that is.)

If you need a ship for number 2, give me a call. I can let you use my ISD.

Take that bot to pieces!

Sometimes you can't just tell...

Honestly, everything that was changed from the books was changed for understandable reasons-- fit the movie. The pacing felt right, the characterization was spot on, and aside from a handful of minor quibbles (the Lovegoods' house was, I felt, more dreary than it needed to be; part of what made that so poignant was what preceeded it - also, the eye-color has slightly bothered me from the first movie), it was awesome.

The end of an era, in a way. I doubt they'll ever be my favorite books or movies, and I won't say they're The Best [insert category] Ever, but there is still something... profound? about the very last movie of the series.

I went to the midnight premiere with a load of friends, and I have to say, it was a geekishly wonderful experience. The whole theatre burst into applause at certain points, everyone was dressed up (I was a Death Eater), and everyone in the whole town seemed to be talking about it. I really felt like part of a nerd fraternity.

I had some quibbles about the movie, but they're nothing compared to the way it brought people together.

For the most part they got it right. But they glossed over a couple important parts and they screwed up the final battle scene. At least, I think they did.

Also I found it very funny that they made Lily have brown eyes. Whatever happened to Harry having his mother's eyes?

I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie, especially because my two favorite parts of the last book are gonna be in it...

I admit I haven't seen the first part yet... but having read the books, does it really matter, since I already know what happens?

As you may have guessed I was "Charlene Heterodyne" and I actually like the idea of Makes Things (Or at least someone in DoSAT) being a spark, but it's one of those things that would take more brain power than I have to spare right now to do well. (Plus I don't have Permission, and may never decide to seek it due to other things on my plate.) Anyway it was a lot of fun writing out the idea without having to put in the effort to make it good.

I suspect I could have done a better job of making it bad, but a respect for good writing is so much a part of me that being deliberately bad, as opposed to unavoidably bad during a 'Spew Draft', is tough for me. It was hard enough to keep myself correcting typos and spelling mistakes.

Hah! A fantastic year, if I do say so myself. The duel between Phobos's and TM's badfic masks was hilarious to read through.

If you still haven't figured it out, I was PinkCarnations and this was basically my excuse to write the crackiest of crackfics. I think I could have done a lot more (four words: PPC High School AU) were my Internet not on the fritz.

Fan/frightening fact! There was a point where Danny/Cornelius was almost canon. *is a horrible, horrible person*

I would have participated much more. Alas, I was out of town with no internet acess for the week it was going strong...

Otherwise known as Starry_Crobat, with the weird Suicide x Sunflower Official slash/noncon/??? fic that featured the line "And then he shot his seeds at him" as well as a gun that shot bullets which turned into more bullets which turned into fire (the gun was made of candy, too.)

I was the RinseAndDry user. At least, I think that the badfic username that I used was something like that name.

Also, it was very funny to see all of that intentionally bad-badfics popping up back then.

As for any damage done to my brain...well, let's just say that my brain kept shutting down on me when I was done typing up those RinseAndDry comments.

I was xxxTehAwesummSausexxx. Good one, Phobos. I think I kind of latched onto you at some point. I also declared a very short-lived flame war on DigitalSocrates.

I was ColdFireBurns and Jarofhearts, and I must say, Phobos, I think you won. Too many of my grand plans never came to fruition, especially since I was attacked by work in the past couple of days. *hangs head* I'll get you next year.

I also have to say, judging by the numbers, I think Agent Suicide is officially the most abused agent in the PPC. I'm so proud! *sniff*

Due to RL being crazy, otherwise I was looking forward to donning my fangirl alter-ego of Veridienne and writing more awful romance fic about Logan.

I did notice, however, that last year's Badfic game is still accessible on the depths of the Board, and maybe we should try archiving it (as well as this year's) since hS doesn't have time to update FFL?

http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=199158;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

I really don't have time myself, but think we should. Any volunteers?

Elcalion, who will archive if he absolutely has to. Pretty pretty please someone take pity?

Well, I was Xxxbloody-handsxxX, but I didn't have much time to participate in the game (thank you, Real Life). Next year I wear I will reply every review with a worse story, as far as my skills allow me to worsen. And yes, my mind was itching just by doing that.

I was Drag0nheart4ever113, and I was probably a little bit over the top with my portrayal of badfic writers. Oh well. :D Tungsten Monk's bread-shaving fic was both hilarious and traumatizing, and xxxtwilight_lover1995xxx's fic was pretty awful too. All the fics this year were awesome however. Are there usually this many? (And is anyone saving these somewhere? It'd be really sad if all of these horrible fics faded into obscurity.)

Hopefully, next year I'll have agents to write terrible slash about. :D

I was Hotukelelelover again this year. Maybe next year she will have learned what a spellchecker is. ;)

I liked the duel you and Tungsten_Monk were in.

I knew you were playing D4rkm0k, but I didn't know you were the other two as well. Well played.

Otherwise known as the rabid Xericka/OC shipper with the godawful Sue, and the troll PPC agent who's going to be in a lot of trouble once someone finds out.

The funnest part was trying to come up with all those different misspellings of Xericka. I absolutely had to use a different one every time.

The hardest part was keeping the tone right. It is hard to stick with the same badfic tones while you're mostly trying really hard not to accidentally write mediocre fic instead.

I was Burning Visionary, and the fic I liked best was Digital Socrates' fic, King Makes-Things. For me, what I liked best was doing things normally restricted by Canon, which in the PPC normally means Emergencies or Emergency-like situations (Shipping, meanwhile, can still be done and be done well).

Not that I was trying to hide that very well. The idea for my story was to cut a mission down to its bare-bones formula, with no jokes, agent development/interaction or...anything, really. Unfortunately, I think I succeeded—TOO well. I made it so dull and uninteresting that it's not even funny as a joke anymore. Oh well. Cite it as an example of how NOT to write missions.

I was ApOcAlIpspOnY, and I had a lot of fun trolling you Phobos :P

Apologies to WikiMaster for losing steam in the later half. I was in the middle of a funk that I occasionally get into and I lost interest in continuing our badfic antics (as well as just about everything else I was into at that point).

I was DSLUVER34, and I made all the mistakes in my Acacia/Nintendo DS trilogy by mindlessly tapping on the keyboard.

This was my first experience of the Badfic Game, and I loved it! ^^

I was responsible for:
+ trueloveneverdies (the awful Sue-agent x Asuka Langley fic)
+ xxxtwilightlover1995xxx (Dafydd x Edward Twilight trainwreck)
+ TFW (review troll)

One of my favourites was the 'acacia finds a nintendo ds' fic, purely because it was just total nonsense! I obviously approve of any pony fics due to my new-found obsession with MLP (yay!), and the 'Alternate Crashing Down' series was several levels of brilliant.

All in all, a great game, look forward to next year's!

I was Ellintyra Lloysinthayr, perpetrator of the Marquis/Sue fic. I never have many ideas at once, but this game always leaves me cackling.

Agents

Name: Mulrun Krolek
Rank: Unofficial Captain
Age: 25 standard years (or so he appears)
Species: Human Male
Homeworld: Yaga Minor

Description: Captain, formerly Lieutenant aboard the Imperial Star Destroyer Titans Fist. A tall, slightly pudgy man with brassy blonde hair, Malrun can come off as cold, pompous, prone to meddling in things that should not be meddled with and seemingly too involved with his crew. However, seeing as he used to be the Bridge Liason to Enlisted and NCO affairs, it’s probably an acquired useful skill. Specializing in the Discworld continuum (excluding the Aching series), the Escaflowne Anime and various movie franchises, he carries a particular grudge against one particular Escaflowne sue-fic. No one knows why. He has become used to authority although he wonders if it has actually done him or others any good.

Name: Portia McSweeney
Rank: Crewman
Age: 18-19-ish
Species: Human Female
Homeworld: Harry Potter Fandom Homeworld (quasi-Dreamlands where the Shipping Wars happen), Kabocha province

Description. At about five feet tall, with dark brown hair, a “sort of Minnie Driver thing around the nose and cheeks”, a slender (make that skinny) frame and rather bad acne, Crewer Portia McSweeney is definitely not what one would call a stunning beauty. For many of her crewmates and members of the PPC, she is neither what one would call particularly sane, being subject to nightmares of a battle she was never in along with occasional waking flashbacks. Part of this apparent oddness may come from being unable to truly forgive herself for “failing to protect” her friend, Ensign Soyoto Akima (traditional name order), to whom she was an unofficial member of retinue, with Akima the daughter of a proper samurai family in the Harmoni clan and Portia the descendant of namban traders. Has a thing for rant-fics, especially concerning HP and the last two books. While not a bad hand with a naginata, Ms. McSweeney is denied access to the Harry Potter continuum for her own mental health... or what passes for such.

Leader of the Soyoto Mourners Society.

Side Characters

Name: Joseph Clayton
Rank: Ensign
Age: 21-ish
Species: Human male, briefly touched by the power of the Outer Gods
Homeworld: A version of Cthulhu Mythos Earth

Description: At the most basic level, Joseph is one of HP Lovecraft’s nightmares made flesh. He is a strapping Yankee boy, the pinnacle of the “aryan” physical and educated ideal, who is deeply, passionately in love with the tattooed daughter of a clan of (what HP would consider) degenerate cannibals from the mountainous depths of Annam and has adopted the markings of her people. Working as a Navigation officer aboard the Titan’s Fist, he hopes to save enough pay to afford a decent wedding and/or honeymoon for him and the future misses. He worries about being tracked down by the Mi-go or Majestic 12, as he fears he’s made an enemy of the latter or just interests the former in the brain department. However, since he and the Mi-Go worship the same gods and know each other from the past, they may just want a lunch date.

Name: Marie Trinh
Rank: Ensign
Age: 21-ish
Species: Human female, ethnic Viet, subgroup Leng Viet (one of a number of groups known by the derogatory “Tcho Tcho” label).
Homeworld: A version of Cthulhu Mythos Earth

Description. Communications Ensign Marie Trinh and her fiance, Joseph Clayton, are from the Mythos. Her people, a Viet subgroup who adopted some of the sorcerous ways of the men of Leng around 2000 years ago (mostly to keep the rice growing and keep hidden), are infamous for cannibalism, a fierce and isolationist territorialism, kidnapping and human sacrifice. Her family, however, never did anything except sending home the obligatory remittances of money and ketchup. She acts as the replacement for Ensign Soyoto Akima, who died while trying to knife JK Rowling. She also becomes embarrassed when others relate tales of the battle that led to her people judging Joseph a suitable match for her, feeling that they take too much delight in battle and blood and heroism and that they know nothing of the fear and panic of that day.

Specifically this section.

Not that this guide is a black-and-white list of rules, but pretty much everything in it was discussed before it went up, so that was the general opinion at the time... er, a year ago? Whenever I actually wrote the thing?

Anyway, there is absolutely no reason I know of that you can't spork a fic that's been discontinued for other reasons. Most fics aren't finished. Go right ahead :)

Wasn't it more about the author attempting to remove the fic than discontinuing it? In most cases even after an author tries to remove a fic it's still archived somewhere, and I think it was considered kind of mean to spork a fic that was at least attempted to be taken down.

If it's clear the author wised up in the middle of a fic, it sort of ruins the climate for sporking it. "THIS MARY SUE IS SO BAD... oh wait. It just self-terminated."

A fic I sporked got discontinued because the author returned the game it was based off of and didn't want to finish it, or even finish the game she was playing. If that doesn't betray how little care the story got, then I don't know what does.

A lot of Suefics are never finished anyway: merely forgotten and never updated.

I think I've seen you before. Well, recently there has been a spambot attack on the Main Board. I guess you already knew though.

Er... have some chocolate, I guess.

Hi, have some welcome-back fudge!

Well, there's Sharefic now (the polar opposite of Bleepfic). Makes-Things is back from the dead, and we've had several groups of new Boarders.

I love this idea. *hugs the idea* I'd so join in if I could.

This has my support. Should my internet connection prove cooperative, I should be able to participate.

That would be hilarious! The question is how strong is it? By which I mean, how many people would it affect?

I like it. I think the Ironic Overpower would like Poison Joke. :P

That, and as you may already know, I'm a brony, and therefore I'm automatically biased towards anything to do with MLP. ;)

This sounds somewhat entertaining. I can see it having amusing repercussions.

I'll have to come up with some creative ways to augment my agents.

Plenty of potential for making Agents' lives hell (that is why we write missions, no?), but shouldn't cause any lasting damage!

Interesting psychology exercise in determining what the "appropriate" embarrasment for each Agent would be.

Elcalion

This sounds hilarious! If I had agents to RP with, I'd love to do this.

I don't consider myself a brony, but I love MLP. MLP is proof that with enough writing talent, you can make anything awesome.

There seem to be a surprising number of bronies in the PPC, myself included...

Especially if it works on the flowers.

Although, if we do introduce this, won't it make luxury... not that flirtatious? and actually okay to be around?

although can totally see a pranksters pulling this for laughs.

I like the idea very much. If it works out, give me a link. Could be fun.

But... if my permission request goes through and HQ DOES get upwards of 50000 temporary guests while a Star Destroyer gets hosed out, it may even more messy.

Of course, the maintenance and the introduction of the Poison Joke may actually be related.

Need to read more PPC stuff and edit.

Until I finish editing.

Yeah... *facepalms self*

I went through HFA with my search tool and pulled up every reference to the wands I could find, and have updated the wiki page accordingly, citing chapter sources so y'all can check.

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Muggle-use_Wand

Now, if anyone knows where to find missions in which Muggle-use/HFA wands are definitely used, updating the article with those examples would be really awesome and helpful. {= D

~Neshomeh

It might be wise to keep it that way. Just do whatever you need to do. {= )

Though, this probably goes without saying, but I'm sure they'd be limited to spells that actually appear in canon. That might be the only limit that matters.

~Neshomeh

However, I think it would be hilarious for an agent to get one that was missing a few spells. Perhaps all of the spells that are generally used in combat.

Not that your extremely long list of oldibe/betas wasn't impressive ;p I'd have liked to see a slightly longer writing sample, but it's clear enough that you can write. Go forth and have fun!

Hello fellow newbie! Lessee, what do I have to give... aha! Have a slightly-used flask; it's perfect for carrying Bleepka!

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome to the madness of the PPC Board!

Have a spork and a towel, the most basic tools an agent needs to survive stay relatively sane.

Welcome, new friend! Have a flea hat!

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Have a spork! They're quite useful.

So to make it official, I'm gonna give you some Wagner for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyqTt75B_8s

Good day. have a mini Dalek plushie. Sorry, disintegrator is non functional.

so, what's your fandoms? And welcome aboard.

*pokes newbie* Squee!

Ahem..

Welcome aboard. Here are a box and a balloon helmet.

Welcome to the PPC! I hope you enjoy it here. What fandoms are you interested in?

Also, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. You never know when they may come in handy.

I present to you as a welcoming present, 2 crates of Bleepka!
(And by 2, I mean 20,000 crates.) You'll need it.

Welcome. At least in here we have grammar and spelling.

And Glistening Oil. Here, have some- it will change your life.

Nice to meet you! I recently got here through TV Tropes, too. What fandoms are you into?

Also, since it's customary to give gifts, I have a can of live bait that I'd like to give to you.

*pokes newbie* You seem to be alright, and you've done it right, so welcome! Have a green carpet which looks like grass.

Welcome aboard!


Here, have a holy hand grenade (warning, not to be used near bunnies or lagomorphs of any kind)

OK, not really. Welcome to the PPC! Tawaki should be along soon with a plover, but in the meantime, have this cake, which is 99% guaranteed not to be fraudulent, and come join the IRC to talk with interesting people! Also me!

Working under the logic that any fictional character is sentient, Sues count as sentient as well. To be sentient, one only has to have the power of perception by the senses. Technically worms are sentient. As for sapience, I'm not sapient. I've never shown great wisdom or sound judgment in my life. Well, maybe once or twice, but those were flukes. So, no, Sues aren't sapient, but then a case could most likely be made for more than half of the PPC being non-sapient as well.

Also, here's a thought: Unless they have the sense of touch, the Flowers are not sentient, while Sues are. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure at least most of the flowers are sapient.

Hm. I'm going to try to reason it out as I go along. Feel free to poke holes. (Not going to get into bit characters.) Wow, this turned out longer than I expected.

I usually get the impression that Sues are a cross between badly-raised children and ghosts/phantoms/something-of-that-nature.

The bad child aspect of course comes from the parent/author coddling them. The author gives his or her darling little Sue whatever she desires. The Sue doesn't have to work for anything. She doesn't suffer consequences. She simply does as she pleases, much like a spoiled child (you know the kind: the child you want to smack silly in the store because she's terrorizing the staff, breaking the merchandise, and acting like a deranged monkey while her parents completely ignore the behavior). Because she doesn't know what is acceptable behavior in a character, she simply goes on doing as she pleases. The longer this goes on, the more set in her ways she becomes and the harder it is for her to see that she's in the wrong. So, in this aspect, the Sue is sentient, but in a way that all of her thoughts and actions are based off of what she has been taught by her parent/author. If removed from the bad influence (the author) early enough, it's possible that the Sue could reform. The problem is finding Sues who are "young" enough, so to speak, that they will listen to reason and not go running back to the author who has always protected them and given them what they want..

The ghost/phantom aspect is a little harder. You can, of course, see the Sue and touch her. She has a body. It's inside, where her soul (her sentience and consciousness--that which makes her *her*) is supposed to be, that you find the difference. Some Sues have more thought put into them than others; they have a more solid soul/substance. Others are merely blatant, self-insert Sues: empty, with no purpose other than being a vessel for the author or reader. The soul has faded so that it's almost nonexistent. Those Sues with more soul are basically filled to the brim with glitter, and there's no hope for them. There's no room for anything else, and they must be destroyed. Those empty Sues, though, can go down two roads. The moment an agent cuts them off from their author and confronts them, they 1) collapse and fade away when they are dispatched, leaving nothing behind but a body; or 2) they waver a bit, trying to stand on their own, but ultimately use the new, good influence of the PPC's canon, agents, and authors to solidify into something that doesn't resemble a Sue quite so much anymore (this could possibly require intensive, long-term therapy to ween the former-Sue away from bad tendencies, and to prevent a relapse into Sue-hood).

So, you are murdering the Sue when you kill it, but by the time it reaches the Cafeteria in a Sue Souffle (or other inedible), you're not actually eating a Sue. The "soul" is already gone, and all that's left is a toxic body. Likewise, in the case of scalp belts, they're simply trophies, no longer a part of the Sue. In fact, they never were. The Sue's body is more like a shell or a suit for the Sue. As soon as she's removed, that's the end of it. There are still traces of Sue (which is why consuming any part of it is a bad idea), but the body is not itself as bad as the Sue. I imagine that if someone decided to turn into sort of monster and eat part of a living Sue, the results would be far, far worse.

... My mind seems to be wandering a bit at this point. I wonder if I covered everything I wanted to cover? This is mostly just speculation and what I imagine when I'm thinking of this sort of thing.

I am of the personal opinion that most 'Sues are indeed sentient, and know all too well what they're doing. Most of the 'Sue stories I've read have given me the impression that the 'Sues know exactly what they're doing, deep down inside of their glittery little hearts, and that they simply don't care. They allow Suethors to manipulate them, but that's just because a Suethor makes the 'Sue's life oh so much easier.

It's because of this willful desecration of canon that 'Sues are targeted by the PPC. They're like war criminals: we allow them basic human rights by not torturing them, but otherwise, it's open season on Mary Sue.

In my mind, Sues are characters the same as any other—agent, canon, whatever. However, Sues, by virtue of their status as fan characters, don't actually belong in the worlds they reside in. (This obviously doesn't apply to canon Sues like Eragon, who do belong, for better or for worse.) As Sues commit worse and worse transgressions against the canon over the course of their existence, they become more and more glittery, and more and more openly hostile against the canon. The less glittery specimens can still be removed from their badfic (and author's influence) and become part of the PPC. More glittery ones are more likely to be openly hostile against agents when they reveal themselves to the Sue. (Also, compare factory Sues, who are created almost entirely out of glitter rather than writing, and are also essentially "programmed" for hostility against the PPC.

I pretty much agree with you - I would only add that the sentience or sapience of any given Sue doesn't necessarily mean all others have the same capabilities. In one of my early missions, Agent Sedri killed an original character and commented on how there just wasn't enough 'substance' to him for him to fight death. Judging whether or not a character has enough 'substance' is always going to be subjective, but it's generally the way we distinguish between bit characters and other OCs, isn't it? That's how I've always treated it.

So, if they're bit characters, I tend to treat them as having no sentience and just being parts of the scenery, so to speak. In my opinion, some Sues are so flat and underwritten as to fall under the same umbrella category. Others are - infamously - complicated and undoubtedly substantial enough to have sentience as we class it in the PPC world.

So, if you agree with the above, I'd say they have limited sentience, then, depending on their particular origins. We can show respect as a generalisation, but not treat them as sacred.

On that note, I'd also add that (I think) our modern western society is very frightened of doing anything that might be seen as 'wrong' by anyone, and while I definitely do not want to get into that debate, I do think that we are less fussy within the world of the PPC, hence the Sue Soufflé and its kin.

But let's not get into the complexities of PPC salaries - whether or not an agent can prove that they've killed however many Sues isn't going to get them paid anyway ;p

Are they sentient? In my opinion, yes. Is it murder to kill them? From a neutral viewpoint, yes. Do I care? Nope.

I don't believe Sues are quite sentient/sapient... but I do believe they have the potential to be. It's just that the Author doesn't LET them be a person.

This is because all Mary Sues (that I have encountered) are the product of some ulterior motive on the part of the author. Does the author want to write about coolness, or wish they were cooler? The Sue is cool. Does the author have a vendetta against other people in their life? The Sue is now abused or teased and everybody feels bad for her and hates the 'preps,' 'evil parents,' or 'mean kids' that harass her. Does the author wish they could be a canon character's girlfriend? The Sue is irresistible. (Though they may not admit or 'actively' desire these things... people's true feelings DO come out in their work. The personal attachment many suethors have to their Sues proves that...)

But... those things aren't a person. How many times do we encounter Sues that don't have a place to call home and instead are just inexplicably hanging around canon characters? How many of them don't have families or sources of income? How many of them literally do not have any sort of life outside their interactions in the fanfic? Or, if the nominally do have lives, how many of them drop them in a heartbeat for something 'better' that doesn't contain having to live as a real person?

Furthermore, the author's super-involvement with the Sues' conflicts and environment also suggest that a Sue may not be as independent or capable as a real person should be. Romantic rivals in the way? Author kills them all. Unbeatable enemies? Author gives Sue powers that kill them all. Impossible task? Author creates circumstances where it's magically easy. A Sue doesn't get by on her 'own' merits: doesn't HAVE to think, doesn't HAVE to work, doesn't HAVE to strive to survive.

All they have is this mission that the author gave them. Nothing else matters; everything is an accessory to that goal. She has to sleep? It's so she can have prophetic dreams. She has to exercise? It's so the love interest can see her all sweaty and glistening. She gets wounded? It's so people can fuss over her. None of her functions as a character... or even a living thing exist for the sake of themselves-- they all exist for this goal.

That sure doesn't sound like a legitimate character to me. That doesn't even sound like a living thing to me. In fact, it sounds more like a doll that the author's moving around.

It's not putting them as 'lower life forms' in my eyes. It's putting them as not even alive in the first place.

Sure, all characters are assumed from the get-go to be sentient or sapient. But it's the actions of a person that count, and if that person does not demonstrate that they are sentient... or even an organism at all... then why should we just assume that they are thinking beings when they give us evidence to the contrary?

This is also why Sues are redeemable... if they give us MORE information that suggests that they are in fact living, thinking beings, then they can be real characters. If they act like people, they can BE people.

So no, in my eyes, Sues are not lesser animals or bags of glitter. Sues are more like willful dolls, or angry spirits that may take physical form with a single goal and no need to act like a living thing at all in pursuit of that goal...

This is also why torturing them is a no-no aside from appropriateness. A Sue isn't built for that. You aren't causing it pain, you aren't making it suffer. It's useless. Any clever thing the agent does to kill a Sue is for the agent's amusement only. Sues don't suffer because in their own story the author prevents them from suffering. They're prevented from being characters, because an outside force tailors their appearance and interactions to not even NEED the Sue there.

And that's why Sues are often generic. They aren't their own person. The story doesn't need a character there. It needs a Sue. Which can be anything-- meaning, that Sue is in fact, nothing.

Characters are something, not nothing.

As far as characters in general go, I'd say some are definitely more self-possessed than others, and I mean that literally. I mean, we're all writers here, we all know what happens when a character suddenly becomes more than we ever planned for. I do think of myself largely as a scribe or historian, recording things that are not under my control beyond the effect I have by observing them from my own point of view.

Tangential thought: suppose that sensation comes from the collection of ideas that makes a character using unfamiliar pathways in the brain? I mean, ideas are real, they exist, so characters exist in the same way. It's all neurons firing when you get down to it. Our brains are infinitely complex. If they go off in a pattern we're not used to, responding to things we've never seen in ways we'll never practice in real life, is that not, in effect, another real consciousness? Do our characters, in a non-metaphorical sense, use our brains to become sentient? O.o

... Leaving that aside.

As far I'm concerned, the reason Mary Sues are treated as autonomous is to avoid bullying the author. Yes, Mary Sue is the author's darling; yes, she gets everything she wants because her author give it to her. However, the point is not to beat up on the author, but to critique the writing. Therefore, we kill the creation, not the creator. From this perspective, it doesn't matter whether the Sue has that quality of seeming-sentience or not.

From an in-universe perspective, the issue gets a lot more complicated because we're dealing with individual agents who may each have a slightly different take on things:

- Derik doesn't worry about whether Sues are sentient or not; they're a plague, it's his Duty to destroy them until he himself is destroyed, end of story. If Thread were sentient, dragonriders would still burn it out of the sky to protect Pern from its wanton, pitiless ruination.

- Earwig is a kender; he thinks it's all a game.

- Gall is perfectly happy being a murderer.

- Supernumerary, if you really, really pressed him, would own up to suspecting everything is made of words, so he's a fictional character fictionally killing other fictional characters, the difference being that the story he's in is better-made than the one the Sue's in, so it's like natural selection or culling the flock or some other metaphor in which the stronger thing destroys the weaker thing for the greater good.

- Jenni knows that it's all made of words—at least from one perspective. From hers, it doesn't matter, because it all feels real to her, so she has to act accordingly. She probably wouldn't be able to kill a Sue except to defend someone else's life, and even then she would try everything in her power to avoid it. If you ask Jenni, former avatar, fan character, and possibly Sue herself, no one is beyond redemption. Too bad she can't personally fix everyone.

- Ilraen . . . I don't actually know what Ilraen thinks about it. It's one of the many issues he has to make up his mind about as he grows. I suspect he'll come down on the side of his warrior ancestry and accept it as due process in the course of defending the universe, though.

So, in the end, every viewpoint is equally valid. Therefore, one blanket statement of "Sues are sentient" or "Sues are not sentient" can never apply.

~Neshomeh

I've always thought that torture is verboten is not only because of the unnecessary suffering, but because of the way it reflects on the torturer. It's very hard to write a character who can thoughtfully and knowingly inflict suffering as a prelude to death for no reason other than their own personal satisfaction. Compare and contrast animal cruelty- even though the animal isn't sentient, and not a "person" by an stretch of the imagination, we're still (generally) loathe to inflicting unnecessary suffering on them. Considered from this angle, the question of Sue sentience becomes irrelevant: one don't torture them not only for their own sake, but for the sake of not employing people who will perform torture for their own satisfaction.

Whether or not the killing of a Sue is murder is largely academic. By the rules laid out within the PPC's internal continuity, Sues are damaging to the canon in which they are inserted and, as such, must be excised. The few who aren't too warping to their "home" canon can be extracted without killing them, but the more serious cases must be terminated in order to reverse the damage their existence does to the canon they infest.

I guess what I'm saying is that, while intriguing, the question of Sue sentience isn't too relevant to the Great Work.

From a “normal” writing perspective, I don’t think the ‘Sue sentience should be taken all that seriously, but from the perspective of treating characters like people, or from an agent in the PPC, and defining sentience as simply self-awareness, I think that ‘Sues are a bit like the ghosts of the Harry Potter continuum, even though they behave like a real person, and appear self-aware, they are not, just the imprint of a real person that has been left behind. In the case of a Sue, this would probably be the Suethor’s image of an idealized self (fitting again with the wish fulfillment) and in the case of a canon ‘Sue, the image of a Suethor’s idealized canon character.
When a ‘Sue is recruited, they stop being a ‘Sue; they become more then the shadows of an idea, and are fleshed out into “real” people. Thus, I think ‘Sues themselves are not sentient, but some ‘Sues have the ability to become so, which should be judged on a case by case basis, (which in turn, is different from an animal, who by any science we currently have cannot become anymore “sentient” then they already are or are not).

Torturing a ‘Sue is looked down upon, in part, I think, not because ‘Sues are sapient, but because they are so close to being sapient. It’s a small step from torturing a ‘Sue to torturing a “real” person.

Basically, I think ‘Sues are not sentient, but rather something that mimics self-awareness and sentience. I think ‘Sues have the ability to gain sentience, but only partially by themselves, or wholly with help form either from their author or agents. Also, I like to think that many agents have less then satisfactory morals anyway.

In that way, ‘Sues are a lot like robots. o.o

Hopefully I haven’t just made myself look idiotic by posting this here. >_>;

I am personally of the opinion that characters are (in a strange sort of way) their own people. This is mainly because I usually lose control of my stories and my characters end up yelling at me that "No, you idiot! I am not going to jump in to save her! I don't care that she is my love interest's sister, I'm not that nice of a person!" which in turn causes arguments between me and my characters.

This would then pose the question of: "If Sues are sentient then isn't it murder to kill them?!"

The way I see it, characters are not sentient until suddenly it is the characters dictating the story rather than the author. An example of this (besides mine) is the appearance of Faramir. According to http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Faramir#Trivia (which, admittedly, I do not trust very much, but let's pretend it is credible for the sake of my argument) Tolkien himself wasn't quite sure where Faramir came from and was "Sure [he] did not invent [Faramir]". In this case Faramir, would count as sentient because he is, more or less, dictating his own actions rather than having them dictated by the author. In most cases of Sue fics, the author is controlling the Sue like a puppet. When a milder Sue is confronted by the charges they are able to break free of the author's control (with the help of the different author, of course) and repent their Sueish ways.

The other time when characters have sentience is when they are well developed and their actions and abilities make sense for their character. (For example: it makes sense that Merry and Pippin, being loyal friends of Frodo and slightly foolhardy, would insist on going on the quest, and, because their is more to hobbits than meets the eye [and they are extremely loyal], would be able to play an important role in saving Middle-earth. It would not make sense for Mary Sue, a twelve year old girl from earth, to be allowed to join the Fellowship because she proved her [previously non-existent] fighting skills.) When it comes to the point that the character's actions are predictable based on their characterization rather than the archetype of their character, then the character can count as Sentient which is why most Sues do not count as sentient and are okay to kill.

This is really just my (rather lengthy) opinion, and the way I rationalize it. It is also how I remain in denial of the fact that arguing with my characters might seem slightly crazy.

Because it is so amazingly easy to make fun of.

... consisting of abuse of language, bad storytelling and a clear case of the author's own agenda overshadowing any kind of canon love.

When I'm thinking something along the lines of 'wow, this author was in such a hurry to post a story about slash/romance/kickass/whatever, that he/she didn't have time to actually come up with any kind of plot or bother to read the text even once to catch the obvious typos' then I think it is so bad as to be hilarious. That is, once I have gotten over the initial shock and have stopped weeping in a corner. ^^

The best bad fanfic I have ever read is 'legolas by laura' and Cele*****, although technically I didn't read the last one, only the MSTing.

I *was* going to say My Immortal, but ITS MY LIFE! made me laugh much harder than MI did.

"robot ball/human baby" indeed. As well as GLaDOS being all goth and emo and trying to commit "sewised." :D

To me, a bad fanfic that is So Bad It's Good may be that way for a number of reasons. They usually have to do with the writing itself.

At the moment I'm following a particular badfic with many misused words. I have counted two instances where the word defiantly was used instead of definitely.

Sometimes the syntax makes a story hilarious. Misplaced modifiers and sloppy sentence structure can make the characters appear to be doing some incredibly absurd things.

And then there are unintentionally funny descriptions, such as "long white ankle hair".

I favour "legolas by laura" and "Forbiden Fruit" - both on the PPC Wiki. Pretty sure they're both trolls, but they're so funny I don't care.

Oh, I almost forgot; Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6807247/1/

Mega Man At Mc Donalds is one of my many...

Also, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4418854/1/Luigi_and_Peasleys_Summer_Blossom

There are many, many, reasons why I subscribe to the idea that it's a parody, but even if it isn't, it's still one of the funniest fics I've read.

Poor mini. The ghost foal was really cute. Oh, and the banana guns are a great keepsake! Half dressed gangsters--that was a hoot. The Smirk was a nice addition. Neat pet.

Not a bad first mission. You've definitely got potential. However, there were a few things that kinda got under my skin.

--The bulk of the story felt more like a MST than an actual PPC mission. Lots of snark and very little action in between blocks of directly quoted badfic text. It felt like you relied too much on the direct quotes from the badfic rather than on your own words.

--The voices of your agents did not feel very distinct. There seemed to be very little to distinguish one from the other, personality-wise. You should not be able switch the dialogue tags of your characters and still have your story sound like it works. More distinguishing agent-specific actions would help with this issue.

--This last bit is just my own personal sentiment, but I thought you got a bit too meta in places. You know, when you started breaking the fourth wall of the mission itself (retrieving the machine guns, for example.) It smacks a bit of showing off. Again, that's just my personal view. If that's the way you like to write, more power to you.

I look forward to your next mission.

RIP, miss Assihina. ;_;

Also, it seems like Haruhi destroying the world is going to be a standard problem in that continuum. New agents taking missions in it should probably get at least a warning about it, if not actual training as to what sudden fading color means.

I already said I loved it in the IRC chat, but this is just to make it official...or something :P

It was hilarious! And I especially loved the inclusion of the Elder Swear xD I hope to spot Cimarron galloping around sometime!

And that poor mini-Celestial...

My knowledge of the canon is pretty limited, but this was downright hilarious. Good work!

Another Haruhi Suzumiya mission!

Excellent job, had me laughing out loud in several places!

Hey, Kay used "By Andraste". Does this mean we get to see Dragon Age badfics later? Sweet!

Anyway, this was a really entertaining first mission. I laughed at Kay's reaction to getting shot in the ass.

This was a really fun mission. I'm looking forward to more! =D

You made me snort coffee all over my screen. Bravo!

I kept laughing all the time. I look forward to read more from you!

“Well, they’d be the ones exposing themselves-” That made me laugh out loud.

I don't know the Haruhi Suzumiya canon but, by Andraste, that was awful. Using the Elder Swear to show disapproval of this fic, seemed very appropriate.

On a not content-related note, I really like the book layout of the website.

Someone actually WROTE that? Ugh. Definitely a troll.

That said, fun mission! I like the snark of your CADs. "Or just run. Fast." :)

Very nice job, very nice indeed. I've been waiting for someone to take care of that for awhile. It's nice to know that it's well and truly dead.

Thanks to everyone for their assorted compliments! I'm really glad you enjoyed it as much as I did!

This mission was great and you deserve a medal for taking on that piece of drakh. *hands over a blank medal*

"Don’t ask it for impossible things, or it might do something crazy. Like create them.” Great.

I really like your Agents. A Time Lord and an anthropomorphic GLaDOS? Best. Duo. Ever.
A suggestion for all the readers: try to imagine Evie talking in the same manner as the canonical GLaDOS. Doubles the fun.

I'm very happy to see this fic dead. The troll part was pretty good too.

You went with the sparkle wolves? Cool! :] (I'll probably try adopting one, heh heh.) And the other canons were definitely more OOC than Edward. (Isn't he considered a Canon 'Sue also?) Good mission overall!

This was, overall, a very entertaining mission. The interactions between your agents was well done and I enjoyed how you made the troll a viable threat. Too often I think we get rid of the various Sues, Stus, and what-have-yous far too easily, so it was nice to see a bit of a struggle.

I was not, however, a fan of how you brought Bella back. Not because I hate Bella (I really couldn't care less), but because of the time travel aspect. It felt... sloppy, I guess. I can't quite put my finger on it.

But besides that? Awesome.

The fic.... It's like My Immortal. D:

Wow. If I ever stepped into a Twilight fic for a mission, I'd be tempted to tell Bella to grow a spine too.

Not even Twilight deserves that. How are your agents still sane?

Exactly how many sparklewolves are up for adoption?

My brain just escaped through my left ear, fell to the floor and sought refuge under the couch. It's going to be all covered dust bunnies and cat hair when I find it again. Oh, well, that's my own fault for reading a mission in a Twilight troll fic. ^^

8.33%. I sniggered. Evilly.

And the way you disposed of Midnite, nice, very nice indeed.

Also, your choice of music from the exorcism made me laugh out loud.

I had forgotten that What the Eye can See was yours - it's one of the better bits of fiction I've read all year.

Firstly, writing sample, or link thereto? A FF.n profile link is totally OK - I, for one, know where to look to find the publish date on things.

Secondly, the Imperial Remenant Navy? I don't recognize the continuum, could you give some backstory? (And/or a link to Wikipedia, I'm not picky)

"Alien Abduction Blues" is also funny.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6518192/1/Alien_Abduction_Blues

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING MY WHOLE LIFE.

And it's still transparently brilliant.

Weeell...I've read all the Sherlock Holmes stories. So I'm a little familiar. But not with the BBC series.

Don't know when I'll actually get around to writing it, but I've always wanted my own 10th walker legomance. ^^

Cohen's uncanonical daughter? Rincewind, seventeen or eighteen? The wizards contact Earth? Like, ROUNDWORLD?

Oh yes. Kay and Emm would have fun with that one.

This is the what, 7,467,574th tenth walker? That's probably an understatement. Legolas/OC is also totally original. I've never seen that before. I just love sarcasm. Did this person just never connect Riddle and Voldemort or what? Riddle being the most evil wizard in the whole story could be the reason there isn't a twu luv in cannon. Do these "writers" even pay attention? Well, that's my assessment.

Might have to claim that. That is preeetty bad.
I also need to stop claiming badfi...il I finish my summer reading. Rawr.

Congratulations, Tray Gnome, you have a very insane, creepy agent. He is very fun to read about. Man that was a load of stupid Sues.

It was pretty good. And amusing except for the creepysmilething.. >.> But otherwise, awesome! Drew is my favorite. :D

I enjoyed this mission- short and to the point, and the way they acknowledged and toyed with with the author's malapropisms was quite entertaining.

The only criticism I have is that it read almost more like an MST than a mission. The characters are inside the fic, but they never really interacted with it until the shooting started. The overall feel this gives is that Statler and Waldorf have joined the PPC.

... Permission granted. :)

I don't recognize you much beyond 'she's been around', so it might behoove you to interact more? But that's a bit of pot and kettle on my part, so, moving on.

On the subject of writing, your Agents look viable, and your sample is both sound and entertaining. I liked how you treated the subject matter, and there were no errors so glaring as to shock me out of the story. (If you want detailed concrit, I'd be happy to provide it, but as it is I don't want to be too long-winded for a congratulatory type of post.)

So, stick around, good luck, and happy writing!

'Everything she glossed over is probably bit fuzzy.”'

Should be:

'Everything she glossed over is probably a bit fuzzy.”'

Maybe if I have time later.

yes

Turnabout is fair play.

Ne. Nyet. Mei. Nein. Ochi. Iie. Nincs. Nej. Lo.