Jun 2011 Archive, part a

However, I am curious: how many Sues my agents managed to kill?

Not that I'll ever get an answer, I don't think they know that themselves, judging by the confusion.

But I'm peeved I missed out on a chance to help one of my favorite fandoms.

Curse my laziness!

(Not that I did anything about that IAHF... not that I have an agent... not that I actually know what IAHF stands for... or even the Order of St. Michael & St. George...)

Mrf, they add GCMG to the end of their name. And that can stand for God Calls Me God. *headdesk*

I can't wait to see how this turn of events affects Xericka's personality.

That was hilarious, exciting, and adorable. I really liked how your agents interacted.

Another great mission. Very entertaining. Keep 'em coming.

I like the banter between the agents. You can get a good picture of their relationship from a few telling details.

I never got the appeal of MPreg, personally. Yeah, I know some people are into it, and I respect that... but the biological impossibility of it makes me scratch my head.

Also, a big AWWWWWWW at Xerica's motherly instincts. This should be interesting...

It was one of the best mission I read so far.

And Xericka is going to be a mommy? Never thought it could ever happen. Is she going to develop a pseudo-heart?

I like the writing sample quite a bit, and I'd be interested to read about the team's exploits. Let me know when you update. {= )

One word of advice, though: use double–line breaks between paragraphs. Without indents, it can be hard to track where one ends and another begins without them. I also stumbled a bit over the description of "Frost" as an unlikely name, because plenty of people have Frost as a surname, but then I realized you meant it as his only name.

Anywho, welcome to PPC writing. Enjoy!

~Neshomeh

Have a gallium spoon and a bunch of thumbtacks.

Welcome, new friend! Have an unwritten novel!

Please enjoy this gun-shaped lighter.

Well met, sort-of-rookie! Please enjoy this Really Cool Thing as a welcoming present.

Oh, and thanks for the comments on my missions.

Have some Mary Sue chocolate.

Welcome to the party. Have a leather bound copy of the adventures of Jay and Acacia.

Have a tiny black hole and a marshmallow!

Hi, have some fudge!

Have a pair of socks, useful for when you need a new pair to wear or when you need an improvisational weapon.

It's always nice to get new peeps here, so welcome! =D

Here, have some Shostakovich for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPlBykom2CQ

Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your time here!

So, what Fandoms are you into?

Here, have these freshly baked brownies, a plushie Companion Cube, and a Bag of Near-Infinite Holding. You'll need it for all the gifts you'll be getting in the near future.

Don't feed it Sues.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

You will be properly drowned in greetings tomorrow, once the majority of boarders are awake.
Until then, you have this single message of sincere greetings from me.
And I am awesome, so feel free to revel in that.

I asked this same question in the chat room a when I was seeking Permission. After some degree of debate the yz spelling was generally decided to be correct.

Blasted Tanks. ;-)

I prefer the "z-y" spelling, as that's the original MiB spelling. Doing it the other ways is one of my personal pet peeves...

I'm American. But I think the Men in Black wikipedia page would be the expert on this.
Or you could call it the flashy thing.

I think the term originated with the Men in Black film. The spelling given on its Wikipedia page is "Neuralyzer," so I take that to be the correct spelling.

~Neshomeh

British spelling- Neuralyser
American spelling- Neuralyzer

We are international, yeah. I am not sure if across the pond, they simply do not like the zed, or if over here, we put zees in everything willy nilly.

English is silly. :D

I dunno about the 'i' It's spelled with a y on the wiki. I am not sure if spelling it 'Neuralizer' is less right than 'Neuralyzer.'

I go with the wiki spelling. The instrument in question is spelled 'Neuralyzer' on the Men in Black wikipedia page, but a fair number of sites spell it either way, i or y.

How would you even mission it? The comic has been locked in the myspace page, and it looks like a pain in the butt to try to follow in in Photobucket.

Even if it weren't claimed (though that particular Boarder hasn't been around in some time, so it might get un-claimed in the future), you would need Permission first.

I'm also not a mod, 'cause we don't have 'em. {= D

~Neshomeh

I thought it was already claimed by someone else?:

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Claimed_Badfic#Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender

I don't recognize that username or had ever seen that user before, however.

Just so you know, your writing sample went off-line for some reason last night. I actually only saw one error (you put sowing, which refers to planting things, instead of sewing, which you presumably meant), though it is true you can never have enough beta-ing!

Anyway, Permission Granted! Looking forward to your first mission!

Disclaimer: Not a PG but here's my two cents anyway.

You should definitely have your stuff Beta-read. I'm finding several spelling mistakes/word substitutions that should have been caught with a run of proofreading.

Even with how little characterization you show in the writing sample, it's still odd. A strange woman shows up in a boy's bedroom (a boy that isn't described at all, and introduced with quite the disconcerting transition) and he not only accepts everything she says at face value but he feels comfortable enough not only to let her stay with a half-explanation, but to take his eyes off of her to read his script? And he seriously doesn't have a problem with a completely stranger sleeping in the same room as his little sister?

It might make more sense if we are given some indication that he is being impulsive and thoughtless, but the narrative does not imply this. Or even if it was a normal circumstance that people came and slept down here, but that's not indicated either.

Your agents sound interesting enough I'd like to see them in action, and your writing sample, while a bit on the short side, did make me giggle a few times.

In short, I like it! Good luck!

The fic was rather appalling, but it was nice to see it get taken down. Kudos!

One note--your author's note comes off as a bit hostile to the original badfic author. Mostly (this may have changed since my days, granted) PPCers try to avoid mentioning/criticizing the author personally in the fic; the focus is, after all, the bad writing itself. I didn't think it was particularly worrisome, but I wanted to put that out there for future reference. :)

You've definitely got some good banter going, and it was nice to see some real tough inter-agent stress. My one gripe concerns the prevalence of one-sentence paragraphs that are not dialogue. One-sentence paragraphs should be used sparingly, and only with intense 'dun dun DUN' moments. Overusing them makes the piece feel a bit choppy.

Overall, I enjoyed this mission. Looking forward to whatever you write next!

Oh, and you're welcome to have Elena and Kath run into their one known department coworker, Agent Cornelius (http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Cornelius). if you like. He comes off as friendly and charming, but also a bit creepy.

I found that part funny enough to giggle about, and the mission was, on the whole, amusing. There is an issue I'd like to point out.

"Kath stopped walking and turned to Kath with the same kind of not-quite-threatening but very dangerous glare she had given her earlier." It should be turned to Elena, right?

On the whole, it was a good mission. Keep up the good work!

That was a fun mission--different kind of badfic than you usually see anywhere, and that makes for a very unique mission. I did want to mention, though, that Elena reasoning that since RL Earth is close to getting a cure for cancer, Star Wars-verse must already have it doesn't quite work. However, recall that Star Wars takes place "A long time ago..." so nothing happening on modern Earth can be applied to Star Wars, really.

I just wan't to say that you shouldn't worry about the length. I like long missions and I can't be the only. At least I hope not, since I will probably be writing very long missions myself, once I get my license.

I also liked the banter between the agents with the paranoia about one being a former Sue.

'Cause seriously, damn. O.o I'm not complaining, 'cause it was hilarious, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually work that way. Nume would be so screwed if it did. {X D

I was going to point some things out, but all I can remember is you said "wondering" instead of "wandering" at some point. Oh, and "principals office" instead of "principal's office" a few times.

On the upside, like I said, this was hilarious, and I particularly like how your choice of title ties in both with the title of the badfic and Thomas', uh, trip. Also, you made me think of other ways of messing up Orken's name apart from rhyming, and I came up with Iron Barbie. You're welcome. *g*

~Neshomeh

Aw, poor Orky and Thomas, bonding over Bleeprin.

Fun mission, especially at the part when Orky had to ad lib something to get the Sue off his back. That part was hilarious.

Keep up the good work, Guv! =D

After all, it just shows hopw nonsensical is HQ.

In my case, 1587 is the engine displacement in cubic centimeters of one of my favourite cars, the Toyota Sprinter Trueno, also called Corolla GT-S.

No points for guessing from what does Agent Corolla takes her name from. Hint: in her home continuum there is a lot of Car Theme Naming.

And if I ever go insane (well, more so than usual) and decide to make another agent pair, I might just do a DIAU one. Then again, I am the one with RC 404, which just goes to show how much of a computer/internet geek I am.

There's not much rhyme or reason to the RC numbers, but there are some pretty odd ones out there, so why not have DIAU get the negatives?

'course, my math-loving self wants to say you should be using complex numbers with nonzero imaginary components :)

Nicely done! Seriously, this fic... I dunno how to describe it. Thank goodness that abomination's over and done with...

Yay for Suicide, Diocletian, and... Makes-Things? Huh.

...I can say, wow, that was a pretty awesome mission. It was a little slow to start, but once it got going, which it did pretty quickly, it was great. I just wish they'd thought to take Flanor back to HQ with them...

Very impressed,
Lleu

I finally got to read it. And finish it, since that was the longest mission I've ever read. I mean, that's almost novella-length! That fic was AWFUL. It's one of the worst I've read a mission for. And I still can't figure out why they bothered to say he was Harry Potter.

Suicide is very cool, but I especially like Dio, so I'm glad she's back. The other agent pair isn't as interesting to me, especially since Ilraen doesn't (yet) have very much personality that I can see.

Two things. First, some people think Tom Bombadil was a Vala, and there's nothing I know of in canon to say that Valar are affected by the Ring. I don't know why they would be. So I don't see a reason to assume that only Eru isn't affected.

Second, you'll have to have a really good explanation for who said that Makes-Things was dead and why they said that. The theory I'd heard was that he created the dead body so he could go on a long vacation away from PPC agents. Then, he'd know why we think he's dead. Or maybe he told someone to hide where he's going, and that person did it by claiming they'd seen his body. I don't know the details of his supposed death, but we need some good explanation of why someone said he was dead and why he doesn't know that someone said he was dead. Please don't just tell me that's how the PPC works.

This mission was purely awesome. It seemed like every little thing that could possibly be a problem for the agents was, and it serves as a great example of not making things too easy for them.

The Harry thing was just severely creepy for me. I like how you guys characterized him as sucking energy from powerful canons to explain the constant cuddling. It reminded me of the character replacements from For Your Eyes Only; I hate it when a mature character is made to act babyish. It's just...unsettling.

Wow, that was an amazingly terrible badfic and a really entertaining mission. It's good to see Suicide, Diocletian, and Makes-Things back.

Funny, sarcastic, and overall wonderfully well-written. :)

~Xani

A great mission there, of epic proportions! Not only that you solved my problem of finding a DoSat PPC for my next mission. Makes-Things is alive!!

...as opposed to, I don't know, OPENED? I laughed way more at that then I should have...

I give you and Tungsten Monk my sincerest sympathy for having braved this thing. I give you more credit for having turned it into an absolutely awesome mission. That, and Makes-Things.

The fight with the ficubus was very well-written. I almost thought Nume would end up dead/quite injured.

Yeah, that was a really long mission. I had to read it in two sittings, but it was totally worth it, especially for the Sue-wraith manifesting. (I almost wanted you to say that the glitter level was over 9000, though...)

Awesome job, Nesh. =D

Having read the mission through, my platonic affection for Nume and Ilraen is even more deeply rooted now. I also think Suicide is hilarious and Diocletian deserves a medal for handling him. :D

*dissolves into incomprehensible squeeing in which the words "and ohmygod Makes-Things is alive and back and YAY!" can be made out*

You already received what feedback I had to offer in my beta comments. Still, a bit more positive reinforcement never hurts. Kudos to you both for suffering through this for our entertainment.

That was a lovely mission and it made me very happy. I do not have concrit right now unfortunately; it is lost in the midst of my brain going splort in both joy and a frazzling day. If you like I will give you more detailed thoughts later but for now I thought it important to inform you that it was awesome, and so are you and Tungsten Monk. Cheers. :D

That was an awesome mission! So much awesomeness.

Also, Makes-Things! Excuse me while I squee uncontrollably for a while.

I saw this story on the Pit when it first came out and I'm so very glad it became the subject of a mission. :D I figured I'd stop being a creeper just to say thanks for taking it on.

I like them long! ... The missions.

And a properly horrible story. I think that the worst fics makes the best PPCings.

Oh, minor nitpick. I found this mistake: "before before replacing it again"

They were already written, so it would have been a shame to delete them after the fact.

My litany of comments during the Beta'ing is probably enough from me, so all I have left is 'yay'!

A great read, kudos for turning something so... wrong into something so amusing and entertaining! ^_^

And it's nice to see Makes-Things back in action. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey and all that.

Really, really great mission! It was a good mix of funny (oh man, some of the horrible things in that were hilarious!) and also somewhat dramatic.

I found myself loving Agent Suicide. I have a terrible urge to make one of my agents a fan of Agent Suicide, just because that would be funny. >_>;

Also, I thought somebody did give an on screen death to Makes-Things after the fact...? Ah, here's a link: http://warrior-joe.livejournal.com/5155.html

Though, this may or may not matter. Weirder things have happened in HQ than people somehow returning back from the dead... Or never having been dead in the first place. Or the /wrong/ them being dead...

*eyes that duplicator/transmogrifier/time machine warily...*

I'll have to read the mission when I have a few hours to spare (the curse of going online before work :P ) but I've done a quick check on my minis-database.

Congrats, Nesh, you found twelve new minis!

New (unadopted) minis:

Tom Bombadill
Baliman
Gluin
Lothlurien
Meras
Cereborn
Boromis
Cheif of the Dunedain
Sarmon
Udyn
Haldri
Cnrdan the Shipwright

Kidnapped (adopted) minis:

Elrdon
Bormir
Arwin
Khazad-dym
Flui

Anyone's welcome to come and adopt one of the unadopted ones! ^^

You dropped a bridge on him! And I get to be the first one to say so!

This was so great! Seriously. I loved what you did with the opening. The agent interaction was interesting.

I get the feeling that perhaps we are going to learn something about Nume's past soon. It was really interesting how frantic he suddenly became when they arrived at FicPsych. And Ilraen! He's getting so responsible and mature and his own character now! (You know excepting the whole psychotic break thing.)

I have the link open to read more of Suicide and Dio's missions--I swear!--but I've not read them yet. I love these guys. I really think that Suicide has just become my favorite agent. He's hilarious--and dirty minded! It's a wonderful combination.

I liked watching him and Nume play off each other, and I hope they go on more missions together, just to see what happens.

The only thing that I thought was a bit odd was how laid back Nume and Suicide took it when Ilraen went off his rockers. I thought they'd have a bit more urgency in making sure the two of them didn't fall off the edge. I did love how Suicide was being all instructive about it. He really seems to have a teaching side to him on occasion.



I saved some lines that I really liked.


After considering them for a moment, he discreetly laid a couple of pieces of bacon on top of them.

(was that just a hint of a triumphant, I-just-made-someone-I-don't-like-really-uncomfortable swagger in his walk? Why yes, it was),

Diocletian leaned over and gently closed Suicide's gaping jaw, and lifted Nume's wrist to check his pulse.

nor the fact that his eyes turned "plead," which manifested as a hreen-blello plaid.new Sue color. It sounds properly revolting.

"'A hord,'" he said, "'was being blown.'"
From the fic:

I was really feeling the agents' frustration with this stinker, and I can't wait to see where all the little hints you were dropping about them are going to lead. "A breeze stirred at the invocation of canon" was a nice touch, as well.

One minor issue that didn't really detract from the story: assuming you were aiming for German, the word is "scheiss" or "scheiß", not "scheist".

Is there anyone who knows enough about The Dark is Rising and would be up for reading through the mission to see if it's terrible? It requires knowledge of at least The Dark is Rising and Greenwitch. It's on the long side, I think (5627 words), and I'm not sure how funny it is, as such — my agents have literally just met when the mission starts, and they're still getting used to both each other and the PPC (and, in Surhat's case, to being barred permanently, as far as he knows, from his home canon). Still, I think it has its moments.

If not, I think it'll probably be fine — I'll have another look at it tomorrow myself.

Thanks,
Lleu

If there is anything wrong with it at all and your agents will have something to say to each other, then I think it's worth killing for being totally pointless.

It's okay if your first mission isn't full of danger and derring-do. Use it for introducing your Agents, and have them bitch and complain aout the insipid boringness in your stead.

Hi, :D

Hm... Mostly what you're annoyed with is bad characterization, an incredibly egregious case of Excuse Plot, and other mostly-plot related things?

Sounds similar to what MY first mission is going to look like. My fic doesn't have that many grammar mistakes, and it has almost no spelling mistakes (there are no minis that show up, and thank god for that because I've already got way more than enough to cover), so I think it's all right that you start with the fanfic you're starting with.

Bad plotting makes many things just bad, so... yeah.

Though in your case, you have spelling errors in addition to all the stuff I've got wrong with mine. Can I just say that I think bad pacing is a sin of bad fanfiction and we can call it a day from there?

All of those are pretty bad, but what really got to me was "You might catch ammonia". SERIOUSLY. FFT. YOU CAN'T CATCH A CHEMICAL AS IF IT'S A COLD.

That Calvin and Hobbes fic — did the author miss the part where Calvin's six?

"Calvin fluffed up his pillow to the right fluffiness, then set it back down onto his bedspread, then climbed in. He snuggled up, then watched with fascination as Chic climbed onto the covers, encircled herself three times, then settled under the covers."

"encircled herself three times"

"encircled herself"

Just...thrice-cursed, that's terrible!

Also, the author's user page is a bit troubling.

Oh dear,
Lleu

I know, I know. These guys haven't shown up yet, but they will soon! And this is fun. These are more of a after they have lived there for a while kind of shots, than first moved in shots. I think when they first moved in they would have had only the beds, Console chairs, mostly empty bookshelf, and wardrobe. I've requested RC 27 for them.



Please pretend that the brooms and rakes are actually things like swords and spears. Carry tinkers a bit with the weapons and does a bit of woodworking in his workshop corner. Maethrowen likes to paint, and keeps various useful plants wherever she can find room to stash them.



Carry and Nicodemus use the bunk bed, and Maethrowen uses the loft bed. Nicodemus has toys and play space under the loft bed.



They keep mats and pillows that they bring out when they want to sit around and relax, eat, or share company. I shamelessly stole Neshomeh's rendition of the Console, because that does work really well, much better than my TV/computer combo that I had tried with the others. Thank you for the idea!

This was going to be the last one, but it occurred to me that it would be really fun to do Dr. Freedenberg's, since the front part is bright yellow. That'll be different. ^^ And I might do the nurses' station. And... we'll see.

Anyway, this is Nurse Jenni's office-cum-living space, and also that of her two-year-old adopted son, Henry.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v155/Neshomeh/c-142d.png" alt="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v155/Neshomeh/c-14_2d.png">









Originally I imagined her quarters being rather smaller than this, but since it does have to serve a dual purpose, I made concessions for the area with the couch. What kind of shrink doesn't have a couch, right?

Since it is not technically a response center, it doesn't have the typical console. The computer can make itself heard, but since FicPsych people spend a lot of their time on the floor and not in their quarters, there wouldn't be much point in relying on a beep.

I don't know if you can tell, but the white block above the desk is a pair of cabinets. She keeps her stash of tea and klah, and probably other edibles, in the one, and various medicines and medical supplies in the other, because you just never know. I imagine the plants (just plants, not Plants) are useful ones, too.

The nurses share communal bath/changing areas, hence she doesn't have one.

~Neshomeh

Derik's RC is also dorm-style. Possibly designed better than RC #999, or possibly just less lived-in.











Please pretend with me that the plant-thing is actually mini-Aragog webbing, and that the rug in the opposite corner is fireproof and has a mini-Balrog on it. Also, the beds really ought to be cots, and the storage box at the head of the one across from the console ought to be wooden. Limited options are limited.

~Neshomeh

Nume and Ilraen's RC is one of the smaller models, more of a dorm than anything else. I used Floorplanner's demo app to generate these:











The "console" is made up of an oven hood and a couple of things the app refers to as "E-links" (I think). I have no idea what they actually are, but they fit the part near enough. Similarly, the thing I'm calling a mini-replicator is actually a microwave with cabinets above and below. Everything else is what it looks like.

Not pictured: their mission souvenirs, the assorted CAD bits and pieces on Ilraen's worktable, and the messenger bag, which usually just gets tossed in a corner somewhere until the next mission.

~Neshomeh

Kelok and Unger have better than average furniture in their RC, because they are unabashed thieves of badfic furniture. Since they only work in Sherlock Holmes canon, most of their furniture is Victorian in style, though they do have a few modern pieces from the inevitable 'Sherlock Holmes appeared in my bedroom, omg!' fics.

They are also willing to take trade for any kind of furniture that they are able to carry. They especially like food that doesn't try to walk off their plates.

Miah and Cali just opened the NCIS mini adoption center, so that opens off of their regular RC. I couldn't get their weapons in with this program, but those go on the shelf with the books. The tiny grey blobs are the minis, and the large ones are the agents... I'll eventually find a program that makes better pictures. The walls are only shown on half height to make the objects more visible. That's why the hammock and TV look like they are floating.

This is gigantic compared to what I imagine RCs as. I'm not an artist and I don't have a program like this, so I can't make mine. But I imagined it as having a console, two couches or beds, one or two dressers/cabinets, maybe a desk, the door to the bathroom, and not much room for anything else.

I won't get the anime references, but if they're not important to understanding the story, I'd be interested.

Must...record...cover...WHERE IS MY FLARKING MICROPHONE?!?!?!

Really awesome, and rather ironic, considering I just finished watching a walkthrough for Portal 2 only recently.

Yes! Keilytunes are the best tunes!

... I never thought of Sues as 'creepy' but then... I thought on it and...

They totally are. They are so creepy. It doesn't matter that they are often made by young people who don't know any better. They are still creepy.

One of your best yet, I'd say! It fits the tune really well!

And the music fits it oh so well.

However, what's Bleekpa? Sounds like a cheap Bleepka knockoff, or what Bleepka becomes when brewed wrong.

Maybe we can use it as a fuel in various PPC tech.

...enjoy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHU9LGEO2Gs

It's pretty good for a first mission. It introduces your two agents nicely, which is good. It's hard to do a fic with no plot like this, but you seem to have done pretty well. I didn't catch any typos or things like that, which is good. I'm not familiar with the canon but I enjoyed it anyway.

I'm sure your missions will only get better with time. This is a good start, so keep up the good work.

Blearg! It's been some years since I last read the Dark Is Rising, but I remember it as quite a bit more dignified than this fic.
And 'Point, What Point?' is a wonderful expression. It should catch on.

I'm gonna have that word stuck in my head for the rest of the week. It's gonna be a glorious week now, so thanks for that. =D

Fun times are had with this mission, and yeah, I think you were right with the "Point, what Point?" charge. It just seemed so pointless.

Good mission! =D

I especially liked your 'point, what point?' charge! You really wonder why the suethor bothered writing that story...

Minor (100% subjective) formatting nitpick: I think it may be better to edit your theme so that the text can take up more of the available screen width, as on widescreen monitors like mine you seem to get a thin column of text in a sea of yellow. (Better yet, allow people to choose!) Not a big deal by any means however.

Your agents seem to work well together and the mon was a great idea. Well done!

If it's drugged up enough, it may even let the kids ride on it. Glod knows I wanted to ride on a bear when I was younger.
Then again, my first bee sting was from petting the bee, so maybe not.

They have a veterinary ward, right? And Medical has to be ready for anything, since so much weird stuff happens in fics. I bet they have something that can remove those drugs.

Though really, I have no idea what a bear with withdrawal symptoms would be like. Could be trouble.

that is, if its metabolism is functioning.

A zoo may have more experience dealing with bears that have been treated badly. For instance, in Eastern Europe dancing bears were a circus attraction. Bears were abused to get them to dance.

In zoo that has such bears may also know how to deal with a drugged up Kodiak bear. Perhaps they can keep it separate from other bears while it goes cold turkey.

Probably tastes better than what's available in the cafeteria.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5630946/1/Eternal_Memories

When I read "Card Captor Sakura" and "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha" crossover, I hoped for a good story (Actually, most CCSxMGLN are, but they tend to become all dead fics. A shame). Judging from the published chapters, this one suggests "Suefic"

Alyxx (yes, with TWO X. Bad omen.) is the last of a lost race, is the Choosen One that has to lead a an army to stop the-end-of-the-world, has been appointed as leader of a squad including Nanoha (She is the Ace of Aces. It would have been more likely she was the leader, not Alyxx) despite being considered unable to even plot tactics by canons themselves, her Barrier Jacket is blatantly Fate's one with added speshulness, her device looks like reverse-engineered from Raising Heart (Nanoha's one, considered to be one of the best around). And there's a little too purple on her.

About the canon characters, Sakura woudn't interfere with an offical arrest (here, she even TRIED TO FREE THE FREAKING CRIMINAL!)and she would have been investigated about that. Yuuno was supposed to be a librarian and not a field operative. But the worst offence is here: Clow reed is not a freaking alchemist! And the explanation about the card's nature in-fic is absolute bulls**t.

And this author need a beta too, since there is a tendency to put words in the wrong order and similar errors.

*ends rant and breathes*

Optimus Prime and Jabba the Hutt? That is just weird.

...This may be the perfect troll ever. I /bow/ to his mastery of so-bad-it's-hilarious.

...are all the ones that are so bad they're brilliant?

Seriously. It's a bloody art!

Oh, that one. I was more focused on the one about Hermione fighting wizard fascist domination. o.O

It seems you have found the ultimate fanfic troll - and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

~Xani

Off Topic: I completely forgot to mention in my reply on your last mission that I released a Tae-Quon-Doe to live with Alice. It is a Korean Water Deer, which is a small-ish species with medium brown coat and spots. They have small fangs. This one is wearing a do-bok tied with a bleen belt (which is enough to kick the butt of the average agent apparently), and has a very aggressive attitude.

I was thinking about this, because of the release of the horses, and Suicide putting his name on one of them. I thought he might go visit it later.


And actually on-topic. I don't have any agents that have stated they know that canon. If you can't find anyone else, though, you could borrow Cali. He is still actively learning canons, especially TV or movie based canons, so it wouldn't be too odd for him to suddenly know a new one.

That's why I stuck Jenni on that Pern crossover: she knew the canon, the boys didn't (and it gave me an excuse to recruit Derik). And why Nume and Ilraen were assigned with Barid and Brightbeard for "The Dark Side." Both sets of partners needed ringers on that one.

Whatever happened to young Agent Rowan? Could you tap her? Adding another character complicates things, but so does not knowing what's going on.

~Neshomeh

...so a little knowledge on the canon beforehand is best, but not always a must. Sometimes, just knowing the signs of a Sue by using common sense is enough for her. But that's in reporting a badfic that needs killing and sporking.

There could be a pocket fictionary. In most worlds it would fit in, because there's rarely a place that doesn't have books of some kind. You can have the hardcover version and a nice electronic version, for those continuums without books. Or paper.

Shinra has her own kind of personal pocket fictionary called the Mini-Master Book, but she got it fair and square from the Ironic Overpowers in Little Red's Fairy Tales. So it wouldn't be wide spread that one...

I haven't helped in adding to the confusion, have I? ^^;

What does an agent do if he/she doesn't know a detail about canon that's important to the fic? She can't get onto the internet (unless the continuum is in modern-day Earth, if then, since you still have to get a computer). She probably wouldn't be carrying any extra information about canon, since she knows the continuum. Can she call someone at HQ to check a detail for her? I wanted Elena to do this last mission, but I didn't know if it was possible to call from a fic to HQ, and there's every indication that Elena has no friends in the PPC, so I didn't know who to have her call.

A Pocket Fictionary or Hitchhiker's Guide for the specific continuum would be a fantastic idea, except that no other agents so far have used one, so I think we'd have to explain where it came from. Also, don't forget that the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was not exactly the most reliable or unbiased book. Earth was described in two words because the authors had spent too much space on subjects they liked better.

A device that keeps updated to the latest changes to the relevant wiki as of the time the agents leave for the mission would be really convenient. It would be very complicated to make, but DoSAT is surely about to become more productive with Makes-Things back. It might make life too easy for the agents, but considering wiki-editor mistakes and vandalism, incomplete wikis for less popular continua, and the tendency of PPC technology to mess up, you could keep it from being too useful.

One of my agents has no knowledge of canons, the other is a big nerd.

When the one that does not know anything about the canon has to do something himself, I usually have him juggle some 'know your canon' pamphlets as released by Intelligence.

Or have a stack of books/tapes mysteriously appear outside of the RC a week before the mission along with a mysteriously menacing note from the Department of Personnel that they had better brush up or face an acute toothpaste/toilet paper/tissue/orange juice/misc. requisitions shortage or something.

How about "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon?

Other than that, I got nothin'.

That song makes me grind my teeth. I hear it's supposed to be a stealth parody, but I sure as hell can't tell, and it makes me want to murder the singer. The whole "I don't like your girlfriend/ I think you need a new one/ I could be your girlfriend" thing just smacks of every Sue who ever replaced Arwen.

Also, "Dontcha." "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me . . . " ARGH. I need to kill something.

For me, the Sue in Misery Business is the subject, rather than the narrator. A lot of Britney Spears songs have this effect on me, though. Partly because I can't stand Spears' voice.

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift.
There's just something about the whole "I'm not pretty because I wear sneakers and t-shirts, but I have soooo much inner beauty" that makes me wanna headdesk.

While this is technically a correct abbreviation, I am not sure it's used in real life outside of print... and like, addressing envelopes at that.

I have never heard anybody speak 'col.' in my life in the way I have heard 'Mr.' If it shows up in dialogue it may be a charge, or if not a charge just a nonsensical error.

Also, unlike 'Mr.' it's kind of annoying and not in wide use. If you can't charge it as an error, I'd charge for annoying the agents.

Is that not common practice for military titles? If I were writing a story with military characters, I would definitely use them, with the possible exceptions of "Capt." and "Cmdr.". I'd say it's equivalent to using "Mr." instead of "Mister/Master" or "Mssrs." for "Messieurs" à la the Marauders.

But maybe I'm wrong and standard practice is to write out the full title, in which case I don't really know.

My instinct is to say that if it's that consistent it represents a conscious choice rather than an error. In my opinion, even if it deviates from standard practice, it's not "wrong", per se. I guess I would ask if they do it for other military titles, if any appear. If so, then I think it's fine as long as the fic is internally consistent. If not, then maybe you've got something for inconsistency, but...

Regards,
Lleu

Wow. Can i just say that, WOW. You have NO right to sit here and tell people about your "badfic" opinions. It causes the creators of these stories a bit of pain. This is their work, their ideas, their opinions, and their worlds/universes. And they have given you fair warning that its an MPreg fic. Avoid it. How about you show us what YOU have and we can judge you? Would you like that? If not, then why don't you jump off a cliff with your "badfic" crap.
but then again haters gonna hate :) enjoy a lonely life with your hating!

I'm kinda scarred to read those fics. Based off your comments, those fics are not sounding too good right now.

[Chaud Blaze. Canon. OOC: 89.FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-]

This had me laughing until I cried. 89- I don't think I've ever seen it that high before...

I don't know the fandom, but I did like this mission quite a bit. Well done!

Nice mission!

FYI, white text on black background, particularly when there's alot of text, across the entire screen, with little space between them, is pretty much the penultimate form of eyestrain - led only by gray text on black background, which you also use. I get dizzy just looking at it for a moment.

It's a huge no-no in any kind of website design, and I strongly encourage you to alter it.

It's funny. Expecially the breaks. Elly-o-vision?

I loved the:
"Your punctuation."
",,,,"
"Better."

Here's a box! It's has a bunch of snacks!

And that sue...yikes! I'm pretty sure that Sephiroth wouldn't go down that easily at all, and nobody can specialize in all three of those abilities. And Axel...gah! That OC might as well have a neon sign that says "MARY SUE".

"Super-cedes canon character." Which canon character or characters are you talking about?

The opening Kingdom Hearts thing...no, just no. Also, how bad does the plot get derailed? I haven't read up on all of the Kingdom Hearts series story, and I am not reading all of the 96(?!) chapters of that badfic...

Hello, new friend!

Aster Corbett, of the DMS Video Game Division reporting in. Where is the link to this monstrosity? I want to see it...

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your time here!

As for the Kingdom Hearts Sue... as soon as I get Permission (which I am currently working on), I'd like a crack at it. What's it called?

I can't help with the Sue, I don't know that canon. But have some fudge!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Don't feed it Sueish meat.

Have a pair of socks! They're useful whether you only need a clean pair to wear or you require an improvised weapon!

Sup? Welcome to the PPC!

Here, have some Colin McPhee for the road:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlNAEziZUM0

Strength, defense and magic, eh? That's not specializing, that's being greedy. What did they do, get a Moogle to meld the sword, shield and staff from the beginning into one freakish super-weapon? When will people learn that characters that can do everything are dull?

Have some House Roac hot chocolate:


Welcome!

Lleu

First off, welcome to the Board, it now owns your soul (or Heart, but I think youèd want to keep that).

That does sound disgustingly sparkly, however here are a few tips for reporting...

One, when reporting a Mary-Sue make sure to have a link to the fic the Sue is from so we can make a proper appraisal of said Sue and its awfulness ourselves.

Two, failing to link us, at least have a passage of the terible Suefic along with the title and its author.

And one more thing, never expect anyone to take a mission right off the bat - it's like expecting Harper to be thrown out of office. It'll happen, but not any time soon. XD Agents tend to be terribly busy, y'know. Plus writers for their own spin-off series tend to be busy and have a back-log of missions already lined up.

So, yeah...just wanted to state that. Sorry if I sound like an awful, awful, admonishing mean person. I just want things to be clear.

I thought Kingdom Hearts already had an OFUM, but I guess it's been a while since it was updated. Hope it works out for you. And remember, an official OFUM has to be approved by Miss Sandman~! If not you're an unofficial one. XD Yeah~! Regulations, regulations, regulations~! Would still love to read what you have for your OFUM though!

Also, that Sue does need to die.

So I posted a second set of profiles, but they don't show up unless you click on one of the previous sets of comments.

Here's a question: did you read the Board Constitution before you posted this? Just curious, is all.

I ask because the Board Constitution specifically mentions that you should lurk here for at least a month before you go posting for Permission or anything equating that (like this). And by that, they don't mean hide-lurk: they mean post every so often, head to the IRC chat every so often, and that way stuff like this doesn't come totally out of the blue. This situation here is sort of like being the only guy to show up at a protest for an issue of some sort: you show up with banners and everything and you've got good intent, but you end up getting funny looks at the end of the day since it kind of came out of nowhere.

Really, everyone else put it better than I did.

If you're new here, welcome. =D

First of all: Who are you? You appear to be new here. Going back two months of the Board, I can't find hide nor hair of you. So before you eagerly jump into Company Business, who are you please?

Second: What Nesh said. There are in-universe rules for all whole host of little details. When it's something that alters the Canon in any way, you need permission to do it. This is what separates us from the badficcers.

Third: On the characters: I agree with Sammy on Gretalis' actions. To me, they're over-the-top, unnecessary, and dangerous. I would also like to see an explanation as to how and why he is so skinny despite his origins, since you brought it up. Also: Even disregarding the Bleeproducts thing, If Sammy is the CEO of some major corporation, and making beauxcoup bucks, why did he quit his job to join the PPC? To quote one of my Agents, on the matter of money: "Paid? You get paid? Why don't we get paid?"

... So yeah. That's it for now.

Uh, last time I checked, the manufacturers of Bleeprin and the original Bleep-products were mini-Aragogs. So, unless Sammy is a mini-Aragog... actually, I still don't think that would work. ^^;

http://starshadowhall.tripod.com/ppc/menu.html#bleeprin

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/985773/30/TheHogwartsFanfictionAcademy">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/985773/30/The_Hogwarts_Fanfiction_Academy

I will update the wiki, since this important piece of information seems to have been left out.

~Neshomeh

If so, you also need to post a writing sample and a fic you'll PPC, if my memory is correct.

Also, I don't think I've ever seen you here. Is this just because I've been gone for a while and I missed your introduction? If so, have some Mary Sue chocolate!

I wonder why the author wrote this?

I'm genuinely curious as to whether it's a trollfic or someone actually has a fetish for squid/sentient building pairings. Well, I suppose Rule 36 applies (if it exists, then it is someone's fetish).

I think someone sporked this already "(I vaugely remember hearing about it)... but really have no idea.

Yeah... that's... Yeah. I'm pretty sure someone somewhere back in the mists of time has sporked it, but that doesn't mean that it can't be sporked again!

But I would hazard to say that some of the characters are replaced and others are possessed. It depends on just how badly OOC they are.

I've read that story. It wasn't very good. I must agree that the characters should be exorcised and then treated like an Implausible Crossover.

I'd definitely exorcise them and then treat it as a crossover.

Have you considered that the whole cast could be replacements?
Waking up one morning and being countries are a pretty big stretch after all, and if they are also Out Of Character, that could indicate that they are actually OCs, whom the author has just named after Harry Potter and his friends.

I just finished that, and wow. Just wow.

Good writing on your part, though; really enjoyed the characters. Well worth the read.

SMG just felt tacked on. I can't help but wonder if this was a trollfic, or a trollauthor. Maybe I'm just naive and hopeful that this isn't the kind of... normal thing... I don't even know.

o_0

I think you summed that 'plot' up best when you said 'gives a new meaning to the word `stupid`'. A multiple-universe train wreck conceived only to get four sci-fi continuities to collide in one big mass of failure.

Fantastic mission, one of the most enjoyable I've read recently!

Entertaining first mission, looking forward to more.

I'll take the two rookies if no one else wants them. I can certainly give them a home while they get trained up at the very least.