Apr 2011 Archive, part a

Can the April Fool's Day stuff!

Re 1: Yeesh.

Re 1 comment: Hee. I have five in my personal universe. Shame on me. :D

Re 2 and 4: LOL.

.... *twitch* DEATH. *twitch twitch twitch*

About the URLs on #2 and #4. Are those fics real, or are we getting punked? Look closely--unless it's your doing, of course, in which case you don't have to look closely because you already know what I'm talking about. {; p

I hope the last one is real and suitably bad, though. I've been waiting for something like that...

~Neshomeh

How on earth did you get it to do that? I can't even make italics!

HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?

¡¡¡ɹǝpıds ǝʞɐɟ s,puǝıɹɟ ʎɯ uɐɥʇ ɹǝʇʇǝq uǝʌǝ ¡ʎɐp llɐ ǝʞoɾ slooɟ lıɹdɐ ʇsǝq ˙ʇuɐıllıɹq ǝɹɐ noʎ

But sitting upside down on a chair to read the wiki is not funny...

Wait, are you saying I could turn the screen instead? What a stupid thing!

O.O How are you doing this upside-down thing?! It's EPIC! Tell tell tell tell tell....

soqoɥd-

˙ʇı pǝxıɟ noʎ pɐןƃ ɯɐ ı ˙ɹǝɹɐǝןɔ ɥɔnɯ os sı ʇɐɥʇ ˙noʎ ʞuɐɥʇ

Wait, how did you... Agh, it's like staring into the future!

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

Very nicely done. I think he would really appreciate the tribute.

RIP Brian Jacques...

That was touching. James Brian Jacques, we will remember you.

I am impressed that she has handled criticism in a mature manner and not in the stereotypical "OMG, liek she is not Mary sue!"

It's good to know that writers like that can be civil...

Thanks for the link!

A polite fanwriter who takes advice and gives good explanations to some of the less obvious points of her fic? At twelve years old? Should we call this a miracle?


I wish good luck with all my heart to this girl!

It's nice to know some people actually care about their writing.

I applaud this girl. Thanks for the link!

Welcome back, party on, and have a shining star - useful for steering tall ships by.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Not Sueish, I promise.

Have this joystick!

Have a giant cheese.

Hey! I'm new myself, but have a cookie!

Hi! Have some fudge!

I'm currently following the Chuggaaconroy Let's Play of Okami, and I LOVE the game from what I've seen so far. Nice job with the mission!

I liked the super plothole in this mission; it makes sense that such a major change to the canon's past, and the major ripple effect it would have on the game's outcome, would manifest as a major, violent plothole. It was a cool idea to have Lore actually dive into it in order to correct the Sue's changes.

One thing I was left wondering: you implied that Ray's small dog form was a disguise for the fic. Is Ray's normal form something other than human? I'm just curious, since Lore and Ray both became dogs.

I'm glad you gave this atrocity a good sporking. I love Ōkami, it's beautiful world, diverse characters and emotions... And Waka is my favorite character. He's sparkly, but in a good way. Unlike this tripe you have so wonderfully skewered.

You described the canon well at the start. Nice and simple.
I laughed at Waka's google-translated french, and I enjoyed watching Lore remove the "curse" on the Oina tribe. That was creative.

If I do get permission, I would like to spork an Okami fic of this caliber. You've inspired me. This cannot stand.

This is a pretty good mission. I don't know much about Okami, though...

Nice to meet you. Have a shining star - just in case you need something to steer a tall ship by - and a sparkly rock.

Have some snacks and a bottle of water!

Have this leather briefcase!

Hello! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a blind bat and a tiny spat.

Welcome, already-met friend! Have a venomous arthropod!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Don't feed it Sues and Stus.

Here you have a green with yellow strands sculp. Yes, I know it's creepy.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hi! I'm new too, so have a cookie!

Here, have a conical hat and a bagel!

The conical hat is made from tin foil and ductape, so it's both conspiracy theorist-proof /and/ waterproof!

The bagel is poppy seed, toasted, and has got butter on it. If you dislike any of that, just say so, and I shall get you a new one!

Have some sharpies and a calender!

Hi! Have some fudge!

Nice to have you with us. Have a shining star (good for sailing tall ships by), a magic mirror for reflecting hostile spells, a small gecko, and a fancy blue coat.

Here's some food, newbie!

Hello! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a stripy mat and a baseball bat.

Welcome, new friend! Have a Bulbasaur! Just keep it away from open flames...

Welcome to the board! I would give you something, but I ran out.

Don't feed it Sueish Meat.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Please, take this joystick as a welcome gift.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

Here, have this conical hat and some tea biscuits.

The hat is conical and made from duct tape and tin foil. It keeps the conspiracy theorists out!

The tea biscuits are neither tea nor biscuits. Discuss.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome, newbie! Have this empty wallet.

Hi you! I'm new too! Have a cookie! Darn that didn't rhyme...

27 chapters. There's no way I'm gonna read be able to read this thing casually.

In my anger over the story, I had forgotten to post a summary. This is what I can gather from the story (Readers be warned):

Two months after the endings of Star Fox Command, Fox is alone and living in his aging Arwing. He attempts suicide by crashing his ship on a nearby planet, but he survives. Krystal, a priestess from a forest village and her bodyguard Caruso rescue Fox and heal his wounds.

Fox is then idolized as a deity by the entire village and used as a sex toy by Krystal. Later in the story, Falco and his teammates, including Wolf and Leon, try to “rescue” Fox so they could use him to their advantages. However, the villagers successfully defense themselves and capture Falco, Katt, Wolf and Peppy. Slippy and Leon die in the attack and Bill escapes with his life. All of the captives are made slaves, with the exception of Peppy being buried alive and sealed in a crystal for eternity.

Over the course of the story, Fox ends up being meeting Neil Zap, who is ordered to find information about Krystal’s village and see if it’s useful for Bill and someone named Sprinkles. Fara Phoenix appears and joins the village, while Falco is transformed into a woman by Katt’s wishes (because she is a lesbian). Fox becomes a polygamist when Krystal marries him to a village guard. Lucy Hare then attacks the village to find and kill Fox, but she’s captured, skinned alive, enslaved and turned into a twisted sex being. Also, Krystal becomes so enamored with the male reproductive system, she carries out a plan to grow her own while turning Fox into a woman to impregnate him.

I don't recall where DoGA stores their Sun Crushers, but I'm pretty sure it's not in the hangar. The only permanent fixtures (as of now) are the aforementioned Darkspear, a large collection of tools for working on ship-sized vehicles, and a very heavily modified gundam. (Agent Dann's pet project - it's constantly suffering massive system integration issues, thanks to having scavenged technology from a half-dozen continuums.)

Portalling straight into the hangar could be problematic, as it's not a normal portal ID code - there's extra parameters for area and volume requirements. Making a space big enough to land a fighter in shouldn't be hard.

(Watch out, though, they might get retrofit with antigravity gear, to make flying them around easier. Stuff left in DoSAT tends to get tinkered with.)

However, as for what's in the hangar, there might also be the "ground ship" Phobos and I found on this mission, dubbed the C.P.S. Darkspear by Agent Barid. (We figured C.P.S. for Continuum Protective Service, or something like that.) She's basically a sailing ship with the inexplicable ability to sail over solid ground. As far as I know, she's still flying Barid's tabard with the rubber Swiss army-knife design as her flag.

~Neshomeh

Nice to have you with us. Here's a shining star for steering tall ships by, a large fish tank for keeping fish in, a pretty rock for looking at when you're bored, and a small lizard that I found in the grass outside.

Do you want some food and water?

About those kind of fanfiction, you got a point there.

Here! Have some hamburgers, buns, BBQ sauce, and grilling utensils! Now you can have barbecues on your tall ship!

Welcome, newbie, have this packet of jaffa cakes!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Here, have a conical hat and a croissant!

The conical hat is made from tin foil (to keep out the conspiracy theorists), and duct-tape (to make it indestructible*!)

The croissant is just this baked good, y'know?


*Conical hat not bulletproof, fireproof, or zombieproof

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, end enjoy your stay!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Hello! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a cricket bat and an umbrella hat.

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! As a fellow newbie, here is a giant muffin (you choose the flavor)!

Welcome to the Board!

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome, new friend! Have a vial of T-virus!

Welcome. Please accept this set of miniature robotic Zombies, Zmobies, Zambies and Zobmies. They are each one and a half inches tall. Generally they just shuffle and mill about.

And I agree about RE fics. Survival horror is not a genre that lends itself to fast-paced physical relationships.

Welcome to the board!
...I think I got first poke! Yay! *pokes you*

...Also, can I stake claim to this fic (what's it even called, anyway)?

Just as soon as I get around to finishing my agent character sheets and writing example, I'll get started...

Hmm... I still wonder how exactly would the characters be neutralised or something, since I think that there is a chance that the Hetalia characters are Anthropomorphic Personifications. This is because some things about the characters correspond to their respective nations.

Why would this be a problem? Because on Discworld's Death page on the wiki, here's this:

"Due to his nature as an Anthropomorphic Personification, Death cannot be neuralyzed"

(Here's the link: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Death_(Discworld)


(I think the original version of the question words my concern better: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=207192;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board)

PoorCynic was interested in doing a different badfic*, but this was his response** once I had addressed that:

(Link: * http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=206970;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

** http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=207222;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board)

I really don't know whether PoorCynic's still interested in the badfic or not, since he didn't say anything whether he still wants to do it or not.


...Then again, I really have no idea about whether the "Anthropomorphic Personification" label would apply to the Hetalia characters' W World Academy counterparts as well or not. The characters appear to be called by their respective nation's name, but there are differences that I'm bugged by...

I'm really sorry if I'm bringing back an old question that should have stay dead, but I'm still stumped thanks to that concern even after a few months.

Anyway, on the subject of this fic... Even after reading about what happens in the fic, I'm getting a bad feeling this "Amelia" is indeed a sue.

I mean really, is there a good reason why she is able to see fairies and other similar creatures? Also, who falls for her and details about her "tragic past"?

...So who is killing this, this thing? Because I want to shake their hand.

THIS FANFICTION IS ANNOYING RARRRRG.
At least she left China alone...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6868352/1/Aragorn_and_the_angeli

"A new species is in middle earth, how will she change the fellowship and can she put aside her haunting past?"

Well, for starters, she vaporizes the Nazgul that was going to stab Frodo on Weathertop. And of course joins as the tenth walker.

[Maudlin coherency at 86%]
Yeah, I just bet Hungary becomes her bestest fwiend ever... and oops, is that PruHun I just saw? One of my friends is gonna be so angry when I send her this.
Yes, Amelia's a Mary Sue. The only thing left now is "can we get a good sporking and hilarious death for her"?

Hope that you enojy looking through the works of the PPC!

Aw, get some sleep. Now. Do it!
Anyway, have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, and a woven mat.

How did you learn about the PPC?

It's nice to meet you. What is your favorite book? TV show? Movie?

Have this floppy disc!

Are you from IN? Possibly involved in random summonings by JulyFlame/Noe?

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

'Ere, 'ave a conical hat and a muffin!

The muffin is made from duct tape (it is therefore indestructible!)and tin foil (keeps the conspiracy theorists out!)

The hat is blueberry chocolate.

Wait, hang on, I think I messed something up there...

Hi, have some fudge!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome, new--wait. You look familiar. Something about...a shovel? Whatever.

Anyway, have some chocolate pudding. I have a feeling you'll like it!

Here is your first official welcome to the board. Have fun!

If you can actually only see the fics through registering, it's much more private than dA where every man and his dog can see just about everything there without making an account. Therefore, it's best not to use fics from that site, whereas fics on dA are completely open to the public eye.

I'd agree that it's better to not do missions from there, especially if the M-rated stuff is what's being charged. I think it's said below here, it falls under Your Kink Is Not My Kink, and so on. But I think MSTs, unless they're specifically PPC MSTs, are more just using your best judgment. I still wouldn't advise it, just because it is, so to speak, behind a locked door. But a lot of places do sporkings - I think it's your call.

What sort of problems are there other than "bad dialogue"? Because that sounds more like a problem for concrit than anything else. Like, are there any major canon breaches, or things of that nature?

Alternatively, I'd be happy to take a look at the fic and give you my opinion if you want to email me a link to it.

I still wouldn't do it, even if you've done it before. The point is not 'rules' about it, but fetish material. Nobody wants to hear about anybody make fun of fetish material, written by people who know what they're going on about and post it anyway. I kinda feel that sporkings and even MSTs are more about badfic, not gross fic.

Your opinion may differ, but as somebody who has seen it all on the internet I can safely say I don't really find mindful fetish material, no matter how poorly it's written, that funny. At all.

I think I made a post about this earlier today,

http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=209673;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

... out a pen and mark all the spelling errors on the menu.

On the off chance there is anyone else here who can read Dutch. A link to a poster where ten common errors in Dutch are listed and illustrated. Ten common errors. It's very funny.

* For none Dutch speaking (reading) I could translate if anyone's interested.

But now, he's created some kind of demon of spicy foods.

The price tag for the Nintendo Wii actually said Nontendo...

I do this all the time. My friends hate me because of it.

My new not-so-favorite word.

Thanks for sharing!

Sounds like half of the boarders. Maybe even more.
...
Can you spot the mispelling?

You know...I may have to write a fanfic for that canon now...

Good to have you with us. Have a camouflage cape for better lurking capability, a shining star for sailing tall ships by, a small glass bowl for decoration, and a fist sized rock.

Here, have some hamburgers, buns, BBQ sauce, and grilling utensils! You are now equipped for parties on your tall ship!

Greetings, have this graphics tablet!

. . .for your generosity. I've never been given a collection of items quite like this before!

I'm sure they'll be tasty, handy, and/or fun, as applicable.

Have some chocolate!

Have some salt, it's good for warding off vampires and other such creatues.

Don't feed it Sueish meat.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Hello! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat and an old mat.

Have a platypus! It's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action.

We like new folks, yes we does. I'm an oldbie and semi-lurker myself, so we probably shan't cross paths much, but I'm very pleased to meet you nevertheless. :)

Welcome, and have this portal gun snerched from Aperture Laboratories. I'm sure no one will miss it. Just don't use it inside HQ; the Flowers might get a little tetchy about it.

Welcome, Enraged Masticating Shark! Help yourself to the bag of venomous arthropods.

Hi, have some fudge!

Here are some snacks and water!

I follow the lj community weepingcock (NSFW)-purely for the lulz -and they've had the stories featured there as well.

Have a large red flower that lets you throw fireballs, a shining star for steering tall ships by, a dented full helm, and a handful of pocket lint.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, end enjoy your stay!

Here, have a conical hat and a tea biscuit!

The conical hat is made from duct tape and tinfoil, so it's conspiracy-theoristproof. The tea biscuit is just this tea biscuit, y'know?

Hi, have some fudge!

Actually, for being dragged into that self-insert Suefic, have a second plate :) .

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have this watering can and this sheet of A3 paper!

Don't feed her Sues or Stus.

Welcome to the Board, delicious friend! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat and a purple bat.

I've just been welcomed myself. Please, take this hat. It's just your style.

Here, have some snacks and water!

Welcome, new friend! Have a poisoned shuriken! Just don't touch this edge here, where--Ah! Ouch!...Oh dear...
*sound of body hitting floor*

Wow... just... WOW. This sounds bad, alright. And considering your connection to this... I'll leave it to you to spork this piece of crap.

I haven't read that fic, and based on the discription you gave, I really don't want to. That's definitely a Sue.
(Interdimensional spaghetti? Maybe we should have the DoSAT look into that.)

That's um... Yeah. Isn't it? I can't quite believe you were forcibly inserted into this fic.

Yes, it is a self-insert Mary Sue.

As others already said, take back yourself from her authorial control and spork this thing from the inside.

Also, bring back the recipe of those spaghetti. Useful to make emergency portals, but don't give it to the Cafeteria. Even Cafeteria food sounds safer to eat. I hope.

And, by the way, spaghetti and noodles AREN'T the same thing. Noodles, as far as I know, is a generic name for a lot of types of long pasta and pasta-likes (as Chinese/Japanese noodles, made actually of rice). Spaghetti are a very specific kind of pasta. It's a charge.

At least for an Italian like me.

I just happened to see part of the author's note for Chapter 7. Mystic is Kelsey, by the way.

Mystic: Things are going to get a whole lot more interesting.

Bunni: "Interesting" being a loosely used term. Unless by interesting you mean completely bending the original plotline to your will as you see fit.

Mystic: Shut it. So anyways, sorry about the late and kind of short chapter.

So she's not just writing a bad story without realizing it. She knows exactly what she's doing, realizes that it's a bad thing, and doesn't care.

If she put you in the story without your permission, I think you deserve rights to spork this story. When you get your Permission, spork it. Spork it painfully (for the Sue).

Wow...just, wow. I can't believe that someone actually inserted another person into their fic without that person's permission.

Also, why did she call you "Bug"? Sounds kinda insulting...

*patpat* I've read some pretty bad stuff, but I've never actually been stuck in a badfic...
That looks like a self-insert to me, but I'm not normally the best in distinguishing between Self Inserts and Mary-Sues unless the main character has the same name as the author...

Once you get permission, this could be your fic of origin! You find yourself inserted in a bad fanfic and you answer the phone... and then immediately find the phone book and call the PPC. :V

(But yes, it is a Mary Sue)

Have a large bronze shield (it's curved, so you could probably use it for sledding), a shining star (in case you need to steer any tall ships), a purple rock (because I don't have any blue ones on me), and the wrapper from a Hershey's chocolate bar.

Also have some punctuation.

Hello! Have a pet cat and some punctuation. You look like you need it.

Have some ginger snaps and orange juice! It's just as yummy as cookies and milk.

And may I recommend a browser with a spell check feature? I'm dyslexic myself, and I would probably be afraid to post here without the help of my squiggly red lines. It can't do everything, but it's a start.

(Also, you may want to read what you write as if you were saying it. If you pause, there's probably punctuation that goes there.)

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board, Pluffy!

Others have already commented on the spelling and grammar thing.

Just a question, though. How old are you? Not for creepy reasons, I promise. Just, we like to know who people are around here.

Hey, hey, hey, slow down there, eh? Don't forget your punctuation. Look carefully, this forum is very careful about grammar and punctuation. Taking into account what we do, there's no sense in bringing up or showing up badfics if we can't do better ourselves.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Welcome, new friend! Have a venomous arthropod.

Here, have some snacks and and water!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

As well as use capital letters and punctuation before you show us badfic.

We'd like to understand you before we start getting chucked badfic from you.

Hi, have some fudge!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

but I would like to see more punctuation in your future posts.

This is a place where people get together to share their fondness of using English correctly. And laugh or horrify when it is used badly.

That said: Welcome.

Have some snacks and water!

Nice to meet you. Have a shining star for steering tall ships by, a fake plant for classy decoration, an extraneous door handle that I picked up somewhere, and a bumper sticker that reads "If you're reading this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you."

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this pair of ACME rocket skates as a welcoming present.*

*Do not use rocket skates indoors or in the pursuit of roadrunners.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

BTW, only one of my mission logs was for LotR, and some were for small fandoms.

Welcome! Have this bumper sticker and this cup holder.

Welcome to the board! Have some markers and Popsicle sticks!

At least, I presume you're a fair maiden. I don't know many boys who call themselves Kate.
-bows- Have a... um... -rummages in pockets- Huh... looks like I'm all cleaned out... here, have a spoon. -pulls a spoon out of her hair and passes it over- It's clean, I promise. (And, yes, I really do keep cutlery in my hair)
xD In any case, I'm pretty new here yourself, but I hope you enjoy it here. =D

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome, new friend! Have a bottle of glitter screen (being like sun screen, but protecting from the effects of glitter rather than those of ultraviolet radiation).

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Hello! Have some fudge!

Your questions have already been answered, I shan't answer them again. That would be boring.
Anyway, have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat and a cricket bat.
By the way, about your username...that looks very Blackadder. Is it Blackadder inspired?

Howdy!

Naw, the PPC covers whatever its writers wish it to cover - and that's a pretty wide range. I think one of the reasons we've seen a particularly high number of Lord of The Rings sporkings is because of the disproportionately large number of badfics of the unintentionally hilarious variety that've been attached to that particular franchise.

Answer 1: No, the PPC isn't for Lord of the Rings only. For example, my Agents in the DMS, Ian and Lee, are in the Freelance Division, which means they can go to any and all fandoms on their missions. Now, some people specialize in a specific fandom- my Bad Slashers Orion and Agents Mal specialize in the Stargate Atlantis fandom -but that's not the case for everyone.

As for your second question, of course you may have a bumper sticker!

*Hands over a small stack of assorted bumper stickers of various colors. The top one says "It's always a great day to kill a 'Sue!!"*

1. I Am a Rock—Supernumerary, as: “I have no need of friendship…I have my books and my poetry.” Also, I so need to write a filk of this about Lost. ♪My name is Locke, I love this i-i-island♪
   
   2. With a Little Help From My Friends—Ilraen relied on the PPC’s friendlier types to get through his “personality-deficient” stage after recruitment.
   
   3. Arco Arena—Um, no lyrics? Um…I’m being struck with a feeling of confidence, so I’m going to guess Supernumerary.
   
   4. White Rabbit—The Alice in Wonderland imagery can apply to both, since they both exited their home worlds suddenly and unexpectedly. The lines about the Red Queen and men on the chessboard could refer to taking orders from the Flowers that Be.
   
   5. Whirlwind—“A whirlwind came into my life and tried to rescue me” sounds like Ilraen being removed from his fic of origin. The rest is his mental struggles with having no personality or memories, and developing these things while learning to be a PPC agent.
   
   6. Who Knows Where the Time Goes—I don’t feel too good about this guess, but I think this is a Supernumerary song. It seems to have a “leaving behind” theme, which applies more to Nume, who had an entire life’s worth of plans (and some friends, surely) before he joined the PPC.
   
   7. Stranger in a Strange Land—I’m going to go with both again; this song seems to be about the general nature of time and space in HQ.
   
   8. NY Rush—I guessed Nume for the last instrumental, so I’ll say this one is Ilraen’s—it’s got kind of a positive, upbeat feel.
   
   9. The God Game—Uh…this one’s got me pretty stumped. It’s a rather negative song, so I don’t see it being about an agent. Is this one aimed at Mary Sues, maybe?
   
   10. Fool—I’m having trouble with this one, too. It seems to be about escaping/hiding from the world, so based on that, I’m guessing it’s a Nume song. Then again, the line, “I can choose to be what I want to be if I choose to be,” is more of an Andalite thing…
   
   11. Heretic, Hero—I’d like to think Nume and Ilraen are both heroes, and neither heretics...both, I guess? >.>
   
   12. Love is Just a Four-Letter Word—Avoiding contact with other people? Reducing the concept of love to a mere combination of letters? This is either aimed at me or Supernumerary.
   
   13. Love You—The polar opposite of the previous song, which must therefore go to Ilraen.
   
   14. The Hundred Song—Counting is fun! Supernumerary likes to count things.
   
   15. Shadow Stabbing—Hmm…I almost want to call this a Neshomeh song, what with all the writing imagery. But the “mind inside the cell” and “heart can’t forget this self defense” are probably meant to represent Nume.
   
   16. I’m Home Again—Yay, piano! *aherm* Anyway, I think this is Ilraen, based on the title and general calm vibe of the music. His fic of origin, despite being where he’s “from,” was not a real home for him. In the PPC, while not necessarily “belonging” there (if anyone does), he at least has a stable (compared to a badfic) place to live and a purpose to do good in the multiverse. Hence, home again.
   
   17. Feelin’ Alright—The song’s narration is wondering about, “the way it could have been.” I think is a Nume song, as he, unlike Ilraen, is missing out on an entire other, possible life by working for the PPC.
   
   18. You Can’t Always Get What You Want—This one feels like it’s about both agents, but specifically their partnership. If I remember correctly, neither was terribly happy with getting the other as a partner, but they’ve turned into an effective pair nonetheless.
   
   19. Mission—Both, but this was kind of a given, considering the title and the fact that it provided the fanmix with its title. Specifically, it feels like a declaration by Nume and Ilraen that they’ll continue to work together for the good of the worlds, even they don’t always get along or see eye to eye. “We may appear belligerent, but lo! We are not so! We’re partners, and we’re damn good at working together!”
   
   Hm...I've guessed eight songs for Nume and only five for Ilraen. Clearly, I have messed up somewhere.
   —doctorlit, hoping he hasn't grossly misinterpreted Neshomeh's agents or fanmix

I do not know if this holds true for the manga, but in the anime everyone plays the game and has a signature monster. It may be harder to pick one out for the sidekicks/designated cheering section, but they all have one. The only character that we never see dueling is Mokuba Kaiba, but the video games (which may be non-canon) show him using animal monster cards, so one of the best in there would be a good choice.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6895592/1/Sailor_WhirlPool

There's the link to her story. I was accumulating a charge list as I read it. There are definite grammar violations, and I'm pretty sure Ayame is a Sue.

Okay. Your advice has been taken to heart. I'm very grateful for it, because I'm worried about what might happen if my friend tries to put her work out in the public and gets flamed. You are all wonderful, amazing people.

I have a friend like that, too, only she writes Mary-Sues in original fiction. Her ideas definitely have merit, but the characters- both boys and girls, actually- are shallow and over-powerful. What I've done is tentatively offer up some advice, and when she starts to get cold about it, I just let it drop.

Sometimes the people who write these sorts of cliches can be very open to comments and quite willing to work to improve their stories, in which case I would suggest some combination of tactful doubt and politely pointing out flaws. In this case, however, since you say she gets defensive and lashes out at critics, I think you would be best off leaving it be. She's your friend, and it's even harder to give constructive criticism in that context; strangers are easier in that, if they fly into a rage about it, you can walk away and never talk to them again, but you can't do that here.

I realise that's not what you were after, but it seems to me like you feel it's your responsibility to make sure your friend's stories are as good as they can be; it's not. If she's asked you to beta her work, that's another issue - she'd have to accept the honesty she asked for - but just approaching her and saying "I'm sorry, but your stories have problems"? That's your initiative, and my advice would be not to do it. Let her write whatever she wants for now; everyone grows out of that phase eventually.

If you're going mad and desperate to do something, them naybe you could find some good fanfics for that fandom and suggest that she might enjoy reading them - and if she does, chat about those stories and all their good points, and let her see for herself how her own work doesn't measure up. I find this works better with touchy people, since they feel like they can fix the problems without other people knowing about them, which is often the most sore point with defensive writers.

Of course, you'll get other responses disagreeing with me, and there might indeed be a good way to talk to her about this, but I, personally, wouldn't.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Here's some snacks in a bag!

Have some chocolate. Dark chocolate. *yom* Unless you prefer toffee?

Hi! Have twelve and a half pairs of socks.

As for questions:

Should we support unilateral peace talks with Zombies? I mean, their insistence on brains makes any sort of compromise difficult, but at the same time if we're constantly at war with animated corpses people will get bored.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Ha, bet I scared you. Anyway, welcome to the Boards! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a cricket bat and a rug (which is not a mat).

Howdy there, Christopher. Welcome aboard. Catch you around on IRC sometime?

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome, new friend! Here, have this radiator-bleeding-key. They're very useful.

Have some purple chalk! And a noodle!

Have some Elmer's Glue and a piece of foam!

Have a shining star for steering the inevitable tall ship by, a glowing rock that's useful for lighting dark places, a silver bell that's slightly off-key, and a half-dozen jumping paper frogs.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this pair of steel-toed boots as a welcoming present.

Welcome to the board. I hereby gift you this box of 100 stress relief balls. Not that you will need them or anything. They are just nice to have.

COMMENCE THE FIRING!

So, what fandoms are you into?

Also, have you checked out the Wiki? It is quite handy to find more spin-offs to read as well as information that is good to know.

Have fun and practice safe writing,
-Phobos

Welcome, new friend! Have an unwritten novel!

Here's a staff, even if you don't have any magic powers you can still use it to bonk fools on the head and use it as a walking stick! :D

Welcome to The Board. Here's a few things to help you out: a shining star for steering tall ships by, a painting of the moon for hanging on your ceiling, a classy wizard-stye hat for formal occasions, and a particularly large dust bunny.

Have a pretty dragon shirt!
It's always good to have some newbies on the Board!

Welcome to the Board, delicious friend! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat and a baseball bat.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself the sack of venomous arthropods. Don't worry, they don't bite!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Hi, have some fudge!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Here's some food and drinks just for you!

Have a bag of ribbons!

Good luck with lurking. I've been here all of a week and it hasn't worked out for me. Everyone is too friendly to hide from.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this flame-proof overcoat as a welcoming present.

Heh, most find this board by word-of-mouth.

DRAGONS. I LOVE DRAGONS. THEY ARE AMAZING, DESPITE SIX LIMBED ANIMALS BEING IMPOSSIBLE.

Anyway, welcome to the board! Have a cardboard box and a faceless plushie in a dark suit!

Apology: I'm just so used to being, what, the 33rd in line to offer my congrats....

Explanation: Any sane or insane writer or reviewer may be a part of the Board. Any person who has proved their ability to write well and knows enough of the PPC rules and technicalities can write up a pair of agents after gaining Permission. Permission involves a petition-type thing, but that's several weeks away from now. For now, lurk and learn. Or talk and learn; the latter is preferable. If you make mistakes now, think of them as learning experiences. :D

Chocolate? Chocolate!

Last I checked we don't have any restrictions on hanging around the Board, so join away. {= D

It's nice to meet another Pern fan. I've only dipped my toe into Pern badfic since Anne McCaffrey opened up the fandom, but I was on the role-play scene beforehand, so I can imagine. I saw some weird stuff in RPs, man. >.
There was also a Dragonriders of Pern Division at some point, but I don't know if anything much came of that.

Anyway, again, welcome!

~Neshomeh

I guess I haven't properly introduced myself to you.

What made you think, though, that fic was not authorized?

That is Indemaat, she is known to us and she has permission. I wonder if this could have been avoided with a trip to the wiki.