Mar 2011 Archive, part c

But the General Case of Poe's Law ("It is impossible to tell for certain the difference between genuine stupidity and a parody of stupidity.") always kicks in at times like this.
Just out of curiosity, are there actual Trolls that live in the bottom of the Pit? I personally think that's a rather amusing image...

why does people write such a waste of words and ideas?
I seriously don't get trolls... what is it that drives them?

Why would anyone want to deliberately write something that bad?

And why do I think that a genuine HaruhixHalo crossover might actually be fun to read?

""frends wiv teddy the bear(LOL!)""

Ya think? (No kidding!)

... while trapped on my grandmother's computer. ._.

http://read-celebrian.webs.com/

Success! Take that, webs! That'll prove that things can still be accomplished despite you being spazzy as heck!

...I'll host it. I listened to the entire thing and didn't even bat an eye, so...
I'll put up another comment here when I've finished copying and pasting and other such stuff.

I would think that the first question would be "why would you want to host it in the first place?" But then, I have a notable lack of morbid curiosity.

Anyway, I'd suggest something like Google Docs as a place to host it, but that's probably leaning into copyright infringement territory.

Free webhosts, including Webs, Tripod, and probably LiveJournal, have policies against posting material that could be considered pornographic, and I'm afraid C*l*br**n falls into that category, however stupidly it's written. Anybody posting it on a service like that runs the risk of getting their account frozen—hence, I won't be doing it, and I'd caution anyone else using a similar service against doing so, too.

If anyone is free of such restrictions and wants to volunteer, though, I'm sure posterity would... uh....

>.>

Well, the tradition would be allowed to continue. Let's leave it at that.

~Neshomeh

Does this mean that I have to cancel my C*l*b*i*n is dead party?

Looks like Celebrian is back...

Really though, why is the fic's writing so boring? The contents are very disgusting and creepy, yes, but why does the writer write it in a way that makes it...not very engaging at all?

By the way, I really can't host the fic for you. After all, I really don't have a website or anything.

interesting... wouldn't mind reading it, though I don't have the coin or time right now... but still... veerrryyy interesting :)

If its been posted in that section would the PPC treat it as a fanfic?

As a Lewis/Space Trilogy fan, it's doubly irritating. Livejournal, Fictionpress, DeviantArt, or any number of the support networks/communities out there. Egads, it's not that hard!

I'm pretty sure it's called FANfiction.net for a reason. I don't think it's confusion, either, all the other stuff on their profile is actual fanfiction. (Well, fanfic for Twilight, which reads like a badly written fanfiction itself, but that's not really the point.)
...I don't know, really. Probably laziness to check the rules properly, like you said.

I'd like to say things like this are caused by honest confusion, though that is a sign of being too lazy to read the content guidelines.
Mind you, we know that many writers on there don't read them, if only because the content guidelines also instruct writers to spellcheck and proofread their work, use proper formatting and respect their reviewers.

As a newbie to this board (I lurk around the wiki a lot though), I have to say that is really...icky.

As a newbie to this board (I lurk around the wiki a lot though), I have to say that is really...icky.

O_O

Oh....oh my God....this is me. THIS. IS. ME.

Well, scratch several bits that are mostly ambiguous. But...it's ME.

The article's only half right.

You are right, it is true to a point. It makes me laugh because I understand what the writer means, even if it is taken to the extreme.

This isn't a profile of a writer. This is a profile of a person who could be driven to write.

For example, a person with issues like this will likely wish to express them. And most of these issues are emotional issues, of overly emotional people.

I am not an overly emotional person. I am perhaps a prideful and unable-to-read-between-the-lines person, but what this person describes is writers being lying, unstable, over-emotional and weak people.

I think that to be a GOOD writer, one's got to be at PEACE with those issues or at least know they're there. I can see somebody who is a terrible writer doing it for catharsis or perhaps over-self-indulgence being like this, but I know of so many sensible, logical people who don't fit this profile.

Don't get me wrong; I'm amused. But this profile fits more A) a lot of people I know who proudly write Mary Sues (unfortunate truth) and B) my hypochondriac flaky so-called 'artsy' friends who never learned to think.

So I dunno. ._.

I don't lie. I never lie! I'm the most honest person on the face of the earth! EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH IS THE CLEAR! UNVARNISHED! TRUTH!

Everything else, though? Totally true.

This is unnerving. It's like the writer of that can see into our heads.

(Readers, on the other hand...)

It's so, so true. {X D

Well, most of it, anyway. I don't know what he's talking about, about the lines blurring between bullsh*tting and being right. I AM always right.

>.>

<.>
~Neshomeh

Yep, I'm mostly like that. And there's a topic that was left behind: when we feel the rush to write something. Don't get in our way, or we'll stab you with a #2 pencil. As soon as we find our pencils, and where's paper? I NEED to write RIGHT NOW!

We’re like tropical toads. Oh so pretty! Want to touch the toady! Except: poisonous skin that kills with one touch.

Beware of writer.

By me, no less. Pity me, my friends. Now... Now I need a drink.

http://manwithstuff.blogspot.com/2011/03/dc-how-videl-discovered-her-abortion.html

A nge nge fascination? I've got a nge nge nausea.
"So Gohan provided her bread-and-butter sex and Vegeta was her little in-between-excitement"
:(
And then I tl;dr-ed.

The problem with doing this as a mission is that there's no humor value here. The story is boring and was just someone's attempt at shock value.

... Help me. Please help me... The mental images... They burn...

There. Are. No. WORDS!!!!!

And all I read was the description. I shudder to think of the actual contents of that fic.

And also some kind of bizarre aversion to usernames, assuming it isn't a coincidence that your IP matches the person I was encouraging to log in on the wiki earlier. Using a name is also heavily encouraged here, by the way, and you're really not doing yourself any favors with this persistent "anonymous" stuff.

So, here's the thing: as squicky and gross as this may be, that doesn't mean it's PPC material. For a story to make a good mission, there has to be some kind of humor potential in it, and I'm going to venture a guess that this doesn't have it. It just sounds like a bad idea that nobody in their right mind would touch with a ten-foot pole.

We do not PPC squick for squick's sake. Think before posting, please.

~Neshomeh

Have a shining star, just in case you feel like sailing any tall ships.

The username, I mean. You're not the only lurker here, y'know.

Ah, well. If that's the only thing about you we can find fault with, you're doing good. Welcome to the PPC, mate. Have a fuzzy scarf, for thy sins.

Welcome, new friend! Here, have this memory stick.

Here, have a conical hat! It's made tin foil (to keep the conspiracy theorists out) and duct tape (so it's indestructible)!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have a Grizzly Bear, don't feed it Suevian Honey.

Welcome to the Boards, delicious friend! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a large bat and the Death of Rats.

It is great to have you aboard.

Hi, have some fudge!

... Would you like a face to staple on your face?

Or a face to staple on to another person's face?

Welcome, Ex-Anonymous! Have some superglue and duct tape, you really can't go wrong with that!

Hope that you enjoy your stay here!

Also, good luck with your goal!

Welcome, new friend! Have a vampire Slayer. (Get it, 'cause you're a Watcher? Ha ha, I am so clever.)

Welcome to the board. Have fun, and keep off the imaginary grass. It's for your own protection; imaginary grass is vicious.

Hello.

Just needs some work, is all. A dabble of humor here, a bit of repetition-cutting there, a couple of beta readers, and voila, you have something worth showing off. It's hard to write something as epic as this, especially when hS sets such a high standard. Stay calm, listen to the concrit, and keep working at it, that's all I can say that hasn't been said already at least twice...

I'm glad you've got something up, since you've been working on it so long.

I don't agree with July that it's first-draft-ish, but rather the opposite: I think it's a bit over-written for what it is. As I understand the sequence of things, none of the crew are going to survive to Chapter One, so I don't understand your choice to spend so much time emphasizing how fat Aldebourne is, for instance. It doesn't seem to come into play at all except to give Michael something to complain about, but that's something that could have been said once and left alone in favor of getting on with the plot. I'm a patient reader, and I'm all for establishing character and scene, but not when I'm pretty sure it isn't going to matter once the actual story starts.

If I turn out to be mistaken and we see these guys again, I'll eat my words, but that's my feeling right now. The writing is technically very good, but heavy-handed. For future chapters, try to keep in mind what's really important to the story and don't sweat over the details so much. {= )

~Neshomeh

KG. Let me start by saying that I liked this story.

Let me continue by saying that July is right that there are problems with it. Every one of her points is valid, to some extent- this story lacks real polish, the repetition is annoying, and it does not measure up to the works posted by hS. Oh, and early colonists were not restricted on bringing invasive plants or species to the New World. The House Sparrow, which has helped contribute to the decline of the Blue Bird population, was introduced from Europe to eat bugs that were eating crops.

Far more worrying than anything else, at least to me, is the complete and total lack of anything funny. The first section is downright bleak, talking about the vast emtiness of space and being overall depressing. While I certainly don't believe that everything about the PPC should be zany humor (I do, in fact, like mixing humor with serious situations) this story has nothing in the way of anything funny happening. That worries me.

Still, I did enjoy reading it. If this were an original piece of fiction, versus back-story for the PPC, my biggest single problem with it, the lack of humor, would be irrelevant. I would still agree, however, that a bit more polish would be prudent. July is quite right in that regard.

So I can't really complain. Too much.

You went overboard on epithets, and I call bull on the 'I could say you're breaking the law' bit in regards to importing plants from Europe to the Americas.

Also, your post. Learn to decide what format you're going to go with for phrases. 'Back and forth' or 'back-and-forth', especially if you're going to use it twice in the same sentence.

Really, really nice job! That was excellent! I applaud your excellent writing skills.

That...that was DEEP. I shall wait impatiently until next week to read the next chapters. I LOVE it.

Looking forward to future fics.

It took me a while to get around to reading this, but I'm very glad I did. I usually don't enjoy Bad Slash missions as much as other types because I'm squicked too easily. However, I enjoyed this mission a lot because it was incredibly entertaining without focusing on the sex itself. The jokes you framed around the situations kept me snickering almost the whole time, and prevented me from focusing on the slash aspects overly much.

My main complaint is with the handling of the clones of Hermione and Ginny, which Miah already mentioned a bit. This was a bizarre manifestation even for a PPC mission, and I wish you had included some of the original wording that was causing them to pop into existence. I'm guessing they were part of sentences describing "in-bed" actions, which you were maybe wanting to avoid over-quoting, for which my sanity thanks you. Still, it would have been nice to be able to read the original badfic author's words, so we could see the thought process that went into the clone joke.

I found the bit at the beginning interesting with Phobos meeting himself. It did leave me wondering where the extra Phobos' went. If the one in front of him left, and said that one had already left, and etc. Did they all cease to exist except the one in the story, or will the PPC be full of Phobos clones in the near future? :D

I thought it was funny when the Flower pushed him through the portal unprepared.

I haven't read all that many Harry Potter missions, so I was wondering, is the absence of a ban on males in the girls dorms a PPC thing, or was it specific to this fic?

I've never seen the thing with clones of the characters appearing. I really liked it, but I could have used just a bit more explanation for their appearance. I was also wondering if each ones personality traits were somehow related to the text, or if it was just random.

I didn't think it was very nice of Decima to make a pillow and blanket for herself and not for Phobos or Goth!Ginny.

I really loved that he started quoting Shakespeare for the exorcism.

Overall, I found it a lot of fun, but the mission section felt sort of rushed to me--not like you were rushing while writing, like it didn't slow me down enough as a reader. The pacing, I guess. I know he didn't understand what was going on exactly, but I felt like there could have been more talk between the two of them. He does seem like a very go with the flow kind of guy, but it surprised me that he didn't seem at least a bit curious.

First of all, thank you to everyone who has read my mission. It is appreciated, honestly.

However, I expected better reviews from the PPC. I had hoped that the reviews would be more in-depth. I know that you like the mission, but I don't know why. What did I do right? What can I improve upon to make the next mission better? What did you like and why did you like it? Also, I know that my writing is not perfect, so I refuse to believe that there is not one thing in this mission that someone out there took issue with/didn't understand/whatever. I want to hear that stuff, too.

The reason why I am so disappointed is that I am trying to become a better writer, as most (if not all) of us are. I can't do that if I don't get constructive criticism.

So give me your best and your worst. I can take it. I am not afraid of the truth. I am afraid of the silence.

-Phobos

I'm loving the Doctor Who reference.
I can't wait for part two!

Much, much like, I have. Are you going to have more people mistake him for an agent? Can't wait for moooore! :D

In the end, how many people managed to stay in the limit? I too ended up posting it a lot later.

I can't wait for the second part. *grin*

Wow, a spork! It's so... shiny!

Anyway, have a star for sailing tall ships, a can of dehydrated water, and... well, I'm out of vorpal swords, so have a Snickers snack.

And if you get those references, you may kick me.

Welcome to the Board! Have a pet cat, a steel rat, a tinfoil hat and an overly large gnat.

Here, have some snacks and water! You might need get hungry or thirsty while you're lurking!

Hi there! Take a piece of bread; it's homemade.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous arthropod. Don't worry, they don't bite!

Let's see if the Board actually accepts the post this time.

Well well well. I was wondering when we'd get to see you. SttQ spoke very highly of you indeed; if you're half the writer she says you are, I for one will be more than satisfied. Have a fuzzy scarf for thy pains.

P.S. Which department are you thinking of putting Agents in, if any?

I read Fade to Black and loved it!
Have a few mechanical pencils and a disposable camera, they're sure to come in useful at one point or another!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Don't worry, I don't bite... much.

Have a conical hat! It's got tin foil and duct tape in it, so it keeps the conspiracy theorists out and deflects bullets!*

*conical hat does not actually deflect bullets.

Hi, have some fudge!

No occasion, just felt like giving one.

Here, have a hat. It's knit from only the finest spun pelts of Cute Animal Friends.

Sure to keep you warm in the coldest of soul-wrenching badfic.

Hey there! Have this... *rummages around in his pockets* This drink coaster!

You have undoubtedly by now received a notification of my subscription to your sequel, if FF isn't messing up alerts. :D

Pleased to meet you, I'm Calyn. At least on FF. Here I am Jacer. Obviously. Dur.

Ooh. Sporks. *takes spork*

Here! *throws a package of hamburgers, package of buns, bottle of barbecue sauce, and grilling utensils at you* Go have a BBQ on that tall ship of yours.

Unless you're vegetarian. In that case, they are veggie burgers.

Have fun!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the PPC! I read about Karen in IAHF, actually. She amuses me. *gives cookies*

Don't feed it Mary Sues.

Hello and Welcome to the Board!

Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

You should be able to figure most of it out just by poking around the wiki, but if you have any specific questions we'll be happy to help you find the answer.

Have a shining star - quite useful for sailing tall ships - and a can of dehydrated water.

Hi! I could have sworn I sent greetings and fudge earlier, but I'm not seeing it on the thread -- probably a connection issue on my end. Here's another fudge tray, if the first one shows up later you'll just have extra :)

Welcome to the Board! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a green mat and Scabbers the Rat.

Howdy there KED. Mind the craziness and looniness as you go!

*hugs effusively* Hi Karen! Y'know I love newbies so much, because they're so tender and soft abd tasteful... Er, forget that *looks from side to side, checking nobody has heard her* Please enjoy this cup of Dorwinion wine *runs away*.

Welcome to the PPC! Just stay away from any hazards that you may run into, okay?

By the way, are you the same Karen who had been commenting on Lily's IHAF? If so, is you're OFUA:TLA inspiried by her fanfic or someone else's?

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to the sack of venomous arthropoda! Don't worry; they won't always bite!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Because if it is, you might want to get yourself a username. Just the Internet being what it is, y'know. (Even if that is a username, you might want to change it here if you're using it on FF.net. We're a...somewhat unpopular group in the fanfiction community, so a degree of anonymity can be helpful. When I first joined up, my FF.net account in the same name got some pretty killer flames. Had to take it down, it got so bad.)

But enough of this gloom and doom and stories pertaining to my personal Internet experience, which admittedly contain a great deal of afformentioned bad stuff! Welcome to the PPC, and have a fuzzy scarf for thy troubles!

I believe the place you want to be right now is our wiki. The new and improved front page ought to walk you through everything you need to get started--or, if it doesn't, you can let me know so I can make it MORE improved. {= )

As for Bleeprin, there are no known side effects, at least not for normal usage (though there are some hazards if you're a bird or you're silly enough to mix it with alcohol). I have an agent who's bound and determined to push the envelope due to some special circumstances, but so far he's doing all right--unless you take not remembering his dreams anymore as a bad thing. He doesn't.

Of course, if you think there are going to be side effects, the chances greatly increase. Bleeprin's one of those things that works because you want it to. {= )

~Neshomeh

Welcome to the Board! Have this... Uh... This pen!

I think it's cool you already have an agent, and all we ask of you to let them simmer on low for about a month so they are cooked through and their delicious smell can waft through the board for all of us to admire.

Please stir from time to time by posting on the board to mix your flavors in properly, and so we all can see you work and your style of cooking.

Here, have a titanium tasting spoon.

May it be a light to you, when all other lights go out.

Don't feed it Sueish Honey.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, end enjoy your stay!

Nice to meet you, Arjay! So you're a Golden Sun fan? So am I! Here, have some Power Bread. I was gonna hide it in a wooden box somewhere, but you can have it instead.

Enjoy your stay! Here you have an empty Wii box. It's really useful to pack things.

Have a few bow ties in various colors to go with your fez!

Have a shining star - good for sailing tall ships by - and a can of dehydrated water.

Hi there. Have a bottle of Bleepka. You're gonna need it pretty soon.

Here! Catch!

*throws raw hamburgers^, buns, barbecue sauce, and grilling equipment at you*

Now you can have BBQs on that tall ship of yours. :D

^ unless you're vegetarian, in which case they are veggie burgers.

Welcome, Arjay! Have this haddock.

Here, have a conical hat and a tea biscuit!

The conical hat is made from tin foil and duct tape, and is good for keeping out the conspiracy theorists!

The tea biscuit is not made from tin foil, and is edible. Enjoy!

Hi, have some fudge!

Hello there!

Have a hard hat. It should protect you from falling debris, but if it doesn't I guess you can use it as a cereal bowl!

Always nice to see another video game person around. Golden Sun? I'll have to tell my friends who play Golden Sun to swing by and say hello!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the PPC board! Have a fez. Fezes are cool.

Welcome, new friend! Have a sandvich. It is an edible device.

Here, have some snacks and water!

Perhaps it is the odd pictures that makes me so disturbed.

Good job.

I'm now tempted to do something like this myself. Maybe something for the M-kids ...

That's good. We need more young writers to be aware of what makes a badfic bad...

A PPC children book? Great idea! And good use of Sims!

Very cute. I have to say your interactions were my favorite parts, though. "No, no, you've been misled; Boromir's not actually a bad person!" ^^

Also, I have a niggling feeling that what comes next goes something like this:

The console went "BEEEEEEEP!"

Jay ran to the console.

It was the Sunflower Official.

Jay and Acacia, said the Sunflower Official. You forgot to charge the Mary-Sue. You should not forget to charge the Mary-Sue.

It's my life's dream to write and illustrate a kid's book, albeit one with slightly more advanced dialogue. This is a fun idea. In fact, it might make for a fun mission gimmick someday.

I especially liked the reviews at the end.

Might wanna make sure he knows what a Mary Sue is later on, and why it's okay to go around capping Mary Sues as opposed to non-Sues.

Now we can train our Sue-killing armies from an early age!

Maybe you should make a kid book about what a Mary Sue is for when the kid is a little older.

It could be called "The most boring story" or something. And it could be about how Mary Sue looks cool, but it's not cool to hog all of the powers and how a story-hog made everything really boring.

(until the PPC came in anyway)

Or at least that's how I would explain the PPC to a little kid.

Maybe I should make you a book! 8D

That's so cute. And awesome. Excellent job!

*plots to get a copy for any young ones who might like it*

I'm going to have to try that out on my toddler!

That was fantastic. Such a great idea to instill the PPC into the young!

Oh....oh man....that is brilliant. Training future generations of PPC agents from the cradle, I see! Get to them early, and instill a hatred of Mary Sues. Next stop, homicidal urges towards Mary Sues? I am so giving a copy of this to my relatives' small children.

Also--was that Sims3?

I'd hate to see such an... interesting... example go to waste. Since we were speaking of education (H & K's kiddy book)...

How does she even.. that's just...

Immaturity much?
I agree with the posts before me; the author is acting like a bad fanfiction writer. The whole conversation is kind of an inverse of reviews on the pit; people are backing up the reviewer instead of the author.

That girl reacted exactly like the stereotiped Suethor.

And the review actually didn't say that the book was bad - it had a good story, but had issues with grammar. A polite, honest review.

Is bad writing going to invade the published Word Worlds too? Because it would make PPC work a lot harder. How can you mock bad writing when the canon material isn't better?

Dear heavens. It's like an immature fanfic author.

Except that instead of backing up the reviewer, like they do on that thread...people on the Pit back up the AUTHOR when they rage.

I was on the receiving end of that in early February...

Thank you Lord that there are still smart people in the world.

....seriously, person?! Reviews are valuable feedback! LISTEN to the valuable feedback! Listen to it!

is that Ms. Howett's comments claiming her writing is fine are themselves riddled with misspellings. My favorite of these is "discusting" which sounds to me like a PPC term for exactly what is happening here--a disgusting discussion that threatens to damage dignity.

*snicker* That woman is an embarrassment. Yet these comments are like TrainWreck Syndrome - I just can't stop reading. Cautionary tale, indeed. Anyone think we should make a wiki link to this? It's too precious to be lost to the depths of the internet.

If actions could translate as sounds over the internet, you could hear me rolling my eyes.

Honestly,(as stated by numerous commenters) the author acting in such an unprofessional manner is really off-putting.

Have some snacks and a bottle of water!

Ugh, I'm not sure how I missed this. Welcome, have a bowl of fruit!

Have a shining star for sailing tall ships, a can of dehydrated water, and a portable hole-in-the-wall.

Enjoy your stay!
Have a pair of pliers and a salt shaker (salt included).

*drags Yibbs from behind the books* Welcome! Enjoy your stay and, also, enjoy this toy made from wire. Be careful, it's prickly.

Don't feed it Sue or Stu meat.

Have some brownies that age backwards in time! (They revert to forwards once you eat them.) They're only a couple days young, so they should have stopped being stale by now. You might want to get them eaten by Friday, or things could get weird.

Have some hamburgers, buns, BBQ sauce, and grilling utensils! Now you can have barbecues on your tall ship!

Unless you are vegetarian. In which case they are veggie burgers.

Also, have a NM&NM. I must restock very soon...

Welcome to the PPC posting board! It is so nice to meet you.

Hi, have some fudge!

Welcome, Yibbs! Don't you worry. No matter how many typos you make, I'll make many more than you ever will.

Here, have a charming gift basket. It's full of snickerdoodles.

Hello newbie and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

And don't worry. I won't bite... much.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a smallish gnat and a cricket bat.

You can no more expect us to ignore typos than a Sue to keep Gimli in character.

Welcome, new friend! Have an unwritten novel!

Uh, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but this is the PPC. We are incapable of ignoring typos. We might not notice all of them, and we'll probably forgive you for any we find since your keyboard is weird, but we can't ignore them. They're too much fun. {; D

So, uh, welcome and stuff! What spin-offs have you read?

~Neshomeh

do you have any more plans to write together cos I like how this turned out.

Please let me know how useful this is. I want to do a better job critiquing/reviewing.

Overall, this was highly entertaining. Dann is very funny, Earwig is always entertaining, though in a bit different way. More like verbal jokes versus physical comedy (which you translate well in Earwig's interactions).

I felt bad for Derik when Gall made that gaff about his dragon, but he actually seemed to handle it better than I thought he would. Maybe he is coping?

Gall seems to be more typical of the attitudinal agents, but the addition of her total lack of technology understanding should be really interesting. She should meet Unger sometime. He could set something on fire for her, and then be totally shown up by the Monstrous Nightmare. I think he'd be in love...though with the fiery monster or it's master might be debatable. :)

The ending was sweet; even approaching genuinely poignant, which is not so easy to accomplish in a humor story.

Let's see how I do with the questions at the end. "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and Agent Decima.

Okay, specific sentences that I liked or that I thought could use a bit of tweaking.

Perhaps slightly more practically than most, Agent Dann reached for a fire extinguisher. I liked this sentence. It established Dann as practical and funny, which set me up to expect to laugh with him the rest of the story. Very nice scene setting with the dragon popping in the paragraph before this sentence, as well.

a tough-looking young woman in a Viking helmet and armor menaced anyone who looked at her the wrong way with a sizable mace. This read to me like people were using a sizable mace to look at her, as opposed to her menacing people with a sizable mace

"The white emptiness of the hangar really had no clue how to handle a dragon." I think from reading the entire paragraph that the hangar is semi-sentient like most PPC tech, but to me, it seemed that "The white emptiness" is the subject of the sentence and the sentience.

The drama of this was sharply diminished when Snerri smacked snout-first into the opposing wall, but he recovered quickly and bore his rider dizzily away into the complex of Headquarters. I loved this one. Smack!

"Having followed the trail of scattered agents, claw marks, and one very traumatized petunia" Is that a Flower or a flower? (Unrelated note, but petunias are my favorite flowers.)

"It's like magic," Dann agreed, "but with more swearing. And slightly higher risk of burning yourself." BEST LINE EVER!

"...And the flashy-thingy? When do I get a flashy-thingy?"
"Now that's just dangerous," Dann said, picking up the Sharpie. "Wonder who left that lying around?"
Very nice mission. I look forward to your next one.

FAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it! Earwig's hilarious! And quite a good kender he is.

I would like to note that Sharpies, despite being useful for writing (a dangerous business), are also extremely good for interrogational purposes. Forcing captives to sniff a Mega-Sized Sharpie every three minutes ensures they're too loopy to tell a lie (though the hallucinations make it hard to tell anyways).

And--shrink collar! Epic!

It's always nice for Agent Dann to get some screen time beyond a short cameo. I also liked the scene with a certain desk at the end...

I always like to see debacles, especially with technology.

This was a nice weaving of the seriousness of Derik and his hangups and the zany antics of HQ and DoSAT. That line about the sharpie being dangerous killed me.

But the last line of the story made me D'aww. Very good handling of readers, you two.

Hm... in terms of constructive criticism... I would have to think about it some more. This is pretty good so I can't just suggest 'pacing' or 'transitions' off the top of my head...

And you gave me two different ideas about how my agents can keep the F-22s they steal in my current mission. They can leave it in the hangar or maybe shrink them and conceal them as scale models in a diorama.

... a full novel about the non-Sue Mayri Rosewind Syue? She might need renaming but the story sounds pretty good.

A sue is a character you want to be, that is the way they start out as a fantasy. An OC is character created in an attempt to be interesting to others. Thats how I'd put it.

I like your art, for starters. It's a good demonstrator of how Mary Sues and OCs can be alike, but different.

Mary Sues are, more or less, the ones the entire fic is about. If an author places so much emphasis on them, to the exclusion of canon and other characters, you have a Mary Sue on your hands. Spreading the action around, giving your OC faults and mistakes and a gradual change throughout the course of the story, helps prevent Mary Sue-ism from occurring.

It seems to me that it's not about what the character has, it's about how they got it. If an OC has had to work for hours to get merely proficient with a weapon, and they occasionally/frequently find someone better than them with it, they're realistic and well-portrayed. If a character simply picks up the weapon and is amazing at it, that's a Mary Sue.

I'm still slightly unsure on some of the finer points of spotting Sues, but my general definition right now is along the lines of "they're what it's all about." If someone doesn't like them, it's because that person isn't smart enough to see how amazing they are. If someone likes them romantically...well, of course they do! Weapons? They're a natural. Magic? Of course!

Chapter Eight in particular is a nightmare...

I'm utterly terrible at this 'drawing and colouring things' lark! I'm more of a photographer :)

With that said, if you drew me/Agent Teddy, you'd go straight to the top of my Christmas card list! *Roots around the internet* This is a shot from when I was ill with manflu: http://365project.org/teddyleach/365/2011-03-04

It's the most recent that I have, however. The goatee's much thicker, the skin's much clearer, and the hair's much blonder now, thanks to a recovery from my (mostly psychological) flu! And my hairdresser coming around and doing my hair.

If you want more specifics... My hair's generally fairly short, and I wear it in a 'curtains' style. There's relatively little flab under my chin, and I exercise regularly enough that I'm moderately toned. My eyes are perpetually tired, so it constantly looks as if I haven't had much sleep or rest. I'm about 5'11, broad shouldered, constantly stand with my weight more on one leg. I constantly wear that evil-eye necklace for good luck. Aaand for how I normally dress, please refer to here!

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/User:Teddy_Leach

Oh dear, I think I got a bit carried away there! Uh, sorry about that.

Please draw the Marquise de Sod. Extra points for humor.

I don't have any agents as of right now, just an idea of what they might look like if I ever get around to putting them up. Would that work?

(Sorry if the phrasing's off, I'm noit sure how to explain it...)

http://chelonianmobile.deviantart.com/art/Laburnum-Character-Sheet-94644539?q=gallery%3Achelonianmobile%2F415893&amp;qo=27
http://chelonianmobile.deviantart.com/art/Foxglove-Character-Sheet-104116670?q=gallery%3Achelonianmobile%2F415893&amp;qo=24
Those any help? If they are, I wouldn't mind seeing your take on 'em.

I'd like to have an image of Agents Sergio Turbo and Corolla.

Sergio Turbo is quite thin and six feet high. He has short brown hair (with no hairdo at all), a round face (not too much, however, since he's not chubby at all), a small nose and glasses

Corolla is actually a lot like Reinforce Zwei from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha (http://images.wikia.com/nanoha/images/2/28/Reinforce_Zwei.jpg), only with brown air and different clothes (the Subeta HQ image in her agent page has the right attire, but if it is too complicated a blue shirt and white skirt is fine). She is usually six inches tall, but in case of need can shift into a more human size (5 feet)

If my description is lame, feel free to do chibis!

Ooh! Could you draw Agent Caleb and Kestrel standing together? So Caleb is a Twilight vampire, so he is both pale and physically attractive. He has wavy brown hair long enough to reach his lower jaw, and purple eyes. Kestrel is shorter than him, and is a tawny ferret with a brown mask over her eyes and brown paws. She also has blue eyes, is missing half of her left ear, and wears a green hoodie. Just draw him sparkling and looking at her in irritation while she points and laughs.

If you'd got the time, I'd like to see a drawing of Agent Xericka. She has a long thin face, an unremarkable nose, grey eyes, and blue hair drawn back into a ponytail. Her default expression could best be described as 'what you are about to say had better be worth my time.'

Please and thank you!

Hmm. How about Lee standing over a Sue with her Frying Pan of Doom at the ready, with Ian in the background?

Lee is five-foot-four, currently has shoulder-length blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail, and has a heart-shaped face. She has green eyes, is right-handed, and can be wearing any costume of your choice, though something Victorian or Steampunk would be awesome.

Ian kind of resembles Jason Momoa/Ronon Dex from Stargate Atlantis, in that he is of Native Samoan stock, is tall, and wears his hair in dreadlocks that have beads decorating them. He normally keeps them tied back with a leather tie for missions when not in disguise. He has brown eyes and is around 6'3". Again, any costume is welcome, though Steampunk or Victorian would be shiny.

I could go for a quick sketch of Agent Thomas.

Lessee...

He is around 5'11 (if that's important), long, messy brown hair, a rather pointy nose, blue eyes, big smiling mouth, skinny arms, thin frame. He'd be wearing a black T-Shirt and jeans.

21 year old female, 5'5", light brown curly hair about cheekbone length with a central part, heavyset light brown almond-shaped eyes, small mouth with chipped upper-left canine tooth, small hooked nose, and a sort of resigned expression.

Umm...That's probably enough to go on, right?

P.S. I'm assuming it's just a head-and-shoulders portrait, but in case it's not, she wears a frighteningly professional-looking women's business suit with razor-creases, pointy shoes, and two Berettas in shoulder holsters.

Hihi, July.

Could you draw a picture of Eileen, please? Tight bushy pony-tail, delicate features, heart shaped face. Clothing/body on the skinny side three arms and a rather worn and scorched labcoat, with black turtle neck. ^_^ Does that work or no?

I'm lazy and busy and should really be doing a social studies project, not browsing the PPC wiki and reading the board. I also don't know how to attach drawings on the PPC board.
SO...If you could draw Aly, my not-yet-approved agent, that would be great.
Since I haven't really thought about stuff like nose and eye shape, I'll just give you a general idea, I suppose...
She has brown hair in a ponytail and grey eyes, and light skin. She'd be in...jeans and a shirt, I suppose. And she has to have a paintbrush and a film canister.

...PSST. How do you attach drawings?

I am a shameless glutton for stuff with my characters, so I'll take you up on this on the condition that you stop being sick. Stop it. o_o

Let's see... Think you could doodle Gall riding Snerri? My general impression from the movie is that the rider sits on the dragon's neck like people do on choppers, with the horns as handlebars. And they should both look like they're having more fun than is allowed. Gall is about 5'4" and stocky but thinks she's 6'.

~Neshomeh

Hey! I can draw a bit, too!

If anybody wants to draw Agent Lore, it would be swell. He's a big ol black canine type thing with ram horns and dinosaur feet and a bushy tail.

But any requests? I can draw, but computerdoodles. I am so happy. This will be fun.

I'd certainly be interested. 'S been a bit since I last played.

Okay, this is a bit of a long list, so bear with me here.

Computer RPG's:

Currently playing: Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 1

Will soon be playing: Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 2

Tabletop RPG's:

Currently playing:

None. Kinda hard to get a game going when you're in college and swamped up to your chest in homework. However, on the occasions when I do have time to play:

Battletech: Okay, so this is technically a wargame, but it has a substantial roleplaying component to it, so it still counts.

Pathfinder

Preparing campaigns for:

Shadowrun 4e

New World of Darkness

Castles & Crusades (Basically D&D 3.5 modified to play like 1st edition D&D).

Games I don't play, but own as reading material:

Dark Heresy

Paranoia

GURPS

I've also played D&D, in it's various forms and guises (specifically, Basic, 1st, 3rd/3.5, and 4e). Hopefully this helps.

RuneScape, Oblivion, ROBLOX, things like that? Y'know, the computer ones....

I would play tabletop ones if I had any friends. I've also played a couple of video game ones, like Dragon Quest IX and Pokémon.

Yup, I do.

I play and run a couple different systems, and I enjoy writing homebrew games and material. I have played Dungeons and Dragons v3.5 and v2.0, Dark Heresy, GURPS, and New World of Darkness (ugh).

In the meantime I've been working on a system I call the "d100 Modern Tactical Gaming System" which is a total conversion modification for Dark Heresy.

I'm more of an FPS person, but I do play a few, mostly Pokemon, Golden Sun (all three), and Morrowind/Oblivion.

I don't own any game systems or tabletop RPGs at all, but I've done a bunch of text based role plays with friends. They've all died by now, sadly. Or maybe not so sadly, considering the improvement we've all made since then.
I've played a few of those Artix games that Aeidhryn mentioned, but I got bored pretty quickly. Same thing with that Wizard101 thing-- My brother introduced me, I liked it for a bit, then got bored.
...So yeah. That's about it.

I played Icewind Dale & Baldur's gate as a kid, I love Oblivion, Dragon Age, Mass Effect... Those are the ones that come to mind right now as they are my faves, but there's plenty of others I've played. Not really pen & paper ones. I'd like to give them a try, though.
RPGs are awesome. :]

I play quite a lot of video game RPGs (enduring favorites are mostly the Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon, and Golden Sun series). I'm familiar with a couple of tabletop RPGs as well - the newer World of Darkness games (I'm most familiar with Changeling, which is about people stolen by fairies, but I've got a passing familiarity with Mage and Genius (a fan game about mad scientists) as well), and I'm fairly familiar with Dungeons and Dragons though I don't actually play it much.

I'm pretty much tabletop only, I don't even own a video game system. And if I'm buying computer games, I tend to go for HOG or IHOG.

I've played D&D up to 3.5. I got rid of most of my Ravenloft supplements, but I should still have almost everything I bought for Spelljammer. I never tried Dark Sun or what-was-it-called, the one where you're running around the outer planes.

I've played Champions/Hero System since first edition. I'm actually one of the Hero Games demo GMs (Legion of Heroes); I don't have a lot of the 6th edition sourcebooks due to cost, but I should be able to get information on anything I don't own.

I'm familiar with old World of Darkness, but never played the new version. I'm also familiar with the Paranoia XP rules, which I think only got a trademark removal to become the most recent edition.

I've played D&D 3.5 and Shadowrun 4, but I am not an expert on either.

I don't think you'd be interested in any of the Artix Games I play- DragonFable, Aqworlds, etc. And Evony is like a guilty secret, because it is obviously a big hoax to get me to pay them stuff (which I am resisting heroically), but it's so fun (read: addictive) I keep coming back after three month breaks. If you found me an interesting one, maybe... but not runescape. No likey runescape.

I play Final Fantasy, Pokémon and Kingdom Hearts. I've also helped a friend develop chat-RPGs based around D&D, Kingdom Hearts and the Old Kingdom series by Garth Nix.

It's the only thing I play, and I decided to give it up for Lent because I was doing it too much. (Sundays aren't technically part of Lent...:D)

Consoles:
(JRPG)
Final Fantasy Series (partial IV, VII, VIII, IX, partial X)
Baten Kaitos (I and II)
Star Ocean III
Dark Cloud II
Grandia II
Paper Mario! hee hee.
(Action RPGS/Action-Adventure with RPG elements)
Legend of Zelda series
Okami
Kingdom Hearts...

Computer:
Knights of the Old Republic
Neverwinter Nights (all expansions)
Baldur's Gate (all expansions)
Icewind Dale
World of Warcraft (Tauren hunter, level 70, casual play)
Psychonauts, if it counts.

Paper:
DnD (2nd ed, DnD 3.5 ed., 4 ed) Ebberon, Forgotten Coast, and other/custom campaign settings.
GURPS (casual play)
Experimental pen/paper RPGs (mostly DnD mods for continua)

So shoot, Asheel. >_>

I play a wide variety of RPGs, both tabletop and electronic. Some of my preferred video game titles include Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fallout, and Kingdom Hearts. As for tabletop, my favorites are Mutants and Masterminds (a superhero RPG), Deadlands, Paranoia, Serenity, and D&D 4e with a focus on the Eberron setting.

If you have any further questions, I'd be happy to help.

I'm not much for playing video games, but I've dipped my toe into WoW once or twice (read: got a couple of characters up to level 30), I got through the first disc of Final Fantasy VII, and I've watched my gamer friends play enough other stuff to get gamer jokes most of the time.

However, I'm very familiar with D&D (mostly 3.5, though I started on AD&D), and I've played in a few games using the Shadowrun and World of Darkness systems. I also know about some of the D&D-based continua, particularly Dragonlance (though Phobos would be the better one to ask about that, since he's the one who got me reading those books).

In other words, I probably know enough to follow along, but I'm probably not the best one to ask about details.

~Neshomeh

I tend towards first person shooters and car racing.

About pen-and-paper ones, I played Dungeons & Dragons a couple times, but I wasn't that good.

I play the Disgaea series, Final Fantasy (I have played all all of them except the online ones), Final Fantasy Tactics, and Zettai Hero Project. For Pen and Paper RPGs, I play DnD, ShadowRun, and might be getting into World of Darkness soon.

I would be willing to help you in any way I can, as RPGs are pretty much my favorite genre of game.

I've got a lot of crossovers brewing on my laptop. But none on the 'net yet.

Are you talking about video games or pencil-and-paper RPGs? I am familiar with both, but others may not be.

Also, I can provide feedback if you like.