Mar 2011 Archive, part b

Guvnor looked over his shoulder- He had managed to escape molestation, for the most part. He heard a soft hummed rendition of ‘white and nerdy’ coming from the restroom. He fought the urge to look, and continued on.

“Why do they always do that... I love that sone.” He said sadly before he realized the error of his ways “I MEANT SONG! SONG!” but it was too late. He heard a soft giggle from behind him. There was a sharp prick on his arm and suddenly things started looking a little hazy and... sexy?

The last thing he remembered seeing was being tackled by a questionably dressed Sonne.

Pretzel, having felt rather lonely the past few hours, wandered around the Board, deftly dodging those of her fellow Boarders who had found their own form of entertainment as she walked. She had discarded the hula dancer outfit a while ago, and now was clad only in a few very wide silk ribbons that were strategically placed on her body. A spare one was tied rather jauntily around her head, serving no real purpose but to flutter prettily on occasion as Pretzel walked.

It took her some time, but eventually Pretzel found someone entirely unoccupied with anyone else; he was also fully dressed and still surrounded by his newbie gifts. Pretzel nodded in satisfaction. He would do wonderfully.

Untying the ribbon from around her head, Pretzel snuck up behind the unsuspecting newbie and quickly looped the ribbon over his head, using it as an impromptu blindfold. This took some skill, as Pretzel was about three inches shorter than Teddy, and barefoot to boot.

'Hey there,' Pretzel said with a grin, even though Teddy couldn't see her do so. 'You look like you're a bit lost. Need someone to show you around?'

Teddy, having found that Pretzel had neglected to restrain his hands in any manner, merely pushed the blindfold off his head and then turned around. His eyebrows rose at the sight of Pretzel's unconventional attire- the ribbons were a dark coppery color rather than the more traditional red one might expect, with three gear-shaped pins holding the entire ensemble together in key places -but then he shrugged. For all he knew, it was traditional to send a ribbon-clad woman as a guide for newbies, though he wasn't entirely sure about that.

'Sure,' Teddy replied. 'Although, I've got to ask, is this-' He gestured at the chaos going on in the Board at the moment, 'normal, or is there something going on?'

Pretzel blinked, and then looked around her. 'Oh, this?' She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. 'Nah, this is a special occasion. As a matter of fact, why don't you follow me, and I can tell you just how special it really is.'

There was a dark chuckle from behind Pretzel, which made the petite Boarder turn around, the ends of her ribbons flaring out a bit as she did so. Behind her was a carbon copy of Teddy, though this one was sans goatee and was dressed in a stylish black suit. Teddy groaned.

'I thought I got rid of you a while ago,' he said in annoyance. His twin merely smirked.

'I'm your evil twin, Teddy,' evil!Teddy said. 'You can't get rid of me that easily.' He turned to Pretzel, who was looking mildly apprehensive. 'Now, about that tour?'

Pretzel looked from one Teddy to the other and then back again, shrugged, and then nodded. 'Sure, why not? The more the merrier,' she said, a few tantalizing thoughts running through her head that involved finding out just how many uses ribbons actually had. She picked up the one she had used as the temporary blindfold and then beckoned to the two Teddys. 'Follow me...'

Neshomeh's riding crop creaked as she wrung it between her tender hands. Then she seized Cassie by the jaw. "Your characters. You have so many..."

Cassie nodded through her ball gag.

"So many... so undocumented..." a red-lipstick smile twisted over Neshomeh's face. "You're very prolific, aren't you?"

Tenderly, she teased the gag out of Cassie's mouth. "Yes'm," Cassie whimpered in pleasure.

Neshomeh laid her lusty crop over Cassie's luminous rump. "You know what happens when you make wiki pages without citing character appearances?"

"Spankings?"

"More than just that, my scrumptious cupcake."

At that moment, Cassie's own ensemble poured in, impeccably unclothed.

All forty of them.

(It's not considered bad form to write about oneself in these, is it?)

PitViper darted through the hallway, throwing nervous glances over her shoulder. There was no sign of her pursuer, at least not yet, so now was a good time to find a hiding place. A door loomed up in front of her; she could hear voices and high-pitched giggling coming through. With a shrug, she turned the knob and opened it.

The Boarder halted in her tracks, her eyes wide. "...Oh. I'm... I'm terribly sorry, I... I... I seem to have... oh."

"Hello, Pit," Cassie greeted cheerfully, acting for all the world like she wasn't standing around in her lingerie.

"Hi," Phobos put in. He was also half-naked, and bound upright and spread-eagled to what appeared to be a large mounted wheel. It was still spinning slowly, finally halting when the Boarder was upside down. There were various other odds and ends in the room, and in... certain places.

"Buh," was all PitViper could manage at first. She examined the scene before her more closely. "O... Kay... Is that a tea cozy?"

"Yep," Phobos replied, his face flushed from being upside-down.

PitViper's head tilted to the side.

"You'll never guess how many spoons it took," Cassie told her proudly.

PitViper decided to hazard an educated guess. "Um. Three?"

"No. Just one."

"Oh. Okay." PitViper gestured vaguely over her shoulder. "I'm going to, uh... you know. Go. I have to go... iron. My... shoes. New shoes. Goodbye."

Turning, she left the room and closed the door behind her. She could hear Cassie's voice inside saying, "Now, where were we?" right before PoorCynic appeared right the hell out of nowhere and tackled her enthusiastically to the ground.

"Yeah, well, you wield a sword like a girl!"

"I am a girl! And at least I didn't bring a gun to a sword-fight!"

"Oh, who cares about your stupid rules! The point is--"

CLUNK! There was a loud noise from behind the (shaking) door, followed by another bout of progressively louder shouting. The small group outside the door looked at each other.

"Well," said Phobos, "Looks like they're going to be at it for a while."

Data shook his head. "I knew this wouldn't end well. At any rate, I'm getting hungry. Anybody for the Cafeteria?"

The others nodded, and they headed down the hall, aimlessly not-thinking about their destination, or food.

Behind the door, the shouts continued for a few minutes, then paused. July's head poked outside the door. "Hah!" she laughed triumphantly. "Thought they'd never leave."

Aster's voice came from behind her, silkily; "Then if we're in the clear, let's get back to... 'quarreling,' shall we?"

July pulled her head back into the RC, shut the door, and grinned at Aster. "Indeed we shall."

Very well, you can ship the everlasting hell out of me, so long as you keep me relatively in character (which may be awkward since I don't yet have Permission).

Teddy's character: Average height and slightly athletic build, dyed blonde hair (although it's natural blonde underneath), blue eyes, goatee. Straight. Usually grumpy, and occasionally enters psychotic rages when presented with intense canon-defilement.

Also, have fun, everyone! Good luck with your shipping.

Ship to your heart's delight. Just not me, please. *puppyeyes*

Cassie was trying to find an empty place. She was feeling alone and wanted to join someone.
After opening a few doors, and already disappointed because she was shouted to leave in every place, she decided to give a last shot and was about to pull open the door at the end of the corridor, when L'Homme opened it and looked directly at her.
"I heard you coming. Sorry but we're busy." He said.
"Is there something interesting there? Can I join?" she asked, her eyes big and bright, like Bambi's.
"I'm afraid no. We're just practising our... er... linguistics skills."
"Vaffan...! You're standing on me!" Someone shouted inside the room, suspictiously sounding like Sergio.
"Sorry, the room's too small." Someone else answered, this time sounding like Meta.
L'Homme turned to look into the room and said:
"Mon Dieu! Can you stop shouting?"
Cassie took the opportunity to look into the room too, and saw Meta in a blue dress, tangled up with Sergio, both lying on the floor. In that moment Meta looked up and caught Cassie's eyes.
"What?" He asked. "Their linguistics skills improved a lot. They talked me out."

(Sorry Sergio for making you curse. Hope you don't mind too much)

Miah had finally finished laughing maniacally and was calmly walking through the Board, heading back toward her Secret and Unfindable Cushion Fort.

“Heeeeeeey Miah!” said a very familiar voice behind her.

“Hi Data,” Miah said turning to face him. She felt a pair of arms snake around her waist, and Bronwyn’s face appeared on her shoulder. “Miah! So good to see you!”

“H-hi Bryn!”

Miah then felt a tug on her left arm, and saw VixenMage. “Miah! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“You –you have?” Miah was finding it difficult to concentrate when Bronwyn rubbing circles on her stomach.

“Miah! what a coincidence! I was just thinking of you!” Aster said, appearing suddenly, wrapped around Miah’s right arm.

“Oh! R-really?”

“C’mon Miah, we have a little surprise for you!” VM said, lightly stroking her left arm.

“Yeah Miah, we just wanted to thank you for all the great things you been doing.” Data said, now tickling under her chin.

VM, Aster, Data, and Bryn led Miah into an unoccupied room. Several wandering boarders would claim to hear sheep, and a strong smell of cinnamon coming from the room.

Arrow hesitantly opened the door to the Board. The noises coming from inside were slightly worrying. "Um... Hello?" he called as he walked a few steps onto the Board. "Is there anyone here? I'm Arrow. I'm new here and I wanted to introduce myself."

The sounds of several people giggling from the shadows made him rethink his plan. He turned to the door only to find that a very naked woman was closing the it.

"Welcome to the Board," she said with a smile. "You picked a great time to join us. I'm JulyFlame." She walked over to Arrow and began working on the buttons of his shirt.

"Hey, hold on," he stammered, backing away. "This is not what I expected."

"I'm just giving you your newbie gift," July answered, moving closer to the startled newbie. "I'm sure others will be giving you gifts as well."

"You bet!" cried someone from the shadows. When Arrow turned around to look for the source of the voice Neshomeh, Data Junkie, Sergio Turbo, and PitViperOfDoom walked into the light. They were all naked except for PitViper who was wearing a black kilt as a shirt, which seemed a little useless due to her lack of any other clothing.

"Good to have you a-Board," said Neshomeh as they descended upon the hapless newbie.

I'm a medium height, brown haired, dark eyed, male. SHIP ME!

Here is an edited-for-legibility-and-logic version of Thursday's epic IRC shipping. Consider it a collaboration.
It is entitled "Khroma: The Boarder That Launched 1000 Attacks" (title by Bronwyn.) I deleted a lot of unnecessary stuff, but it's still pretty long so I created an ff.net account because copying&pasting it here made the formatting awful.
AN EPIC TALE STARRING BRONWYN, CADDY-SHACK, AND KHROMA:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2788061/

Miah finally made it back to her Secret and Unfindable Cushion Fort. How had that Lustin managed to spread through the nearly the entire Board? Not that she was complaining about the performance of the Powerful Plover Collaborative. She’d especially liked Phobos’ kilt.

She’d been unable to find Bryn again, and though she’d heard of various sightings of her actual target, Caddy-shack, she’d not seen him either.

After several minutes of no one passing by the Fort, Miah was beginning to get bored. Then, finally, she spotted him. Caddy-shack. He was already naked and covered with sucker marks. Hmm. Maybe Bryn had already found him?

Caddy was moving slowly down the hall, carefully checking each window before walking past, while still staring at it. Miah waited until he was in the optimal spot for her to shoot him with her tranquilizer darts. This spot just happened to be directly in front of a window. Miah flicked a switch.

Caddy screamed--in a totally not a girly shriek sort of way--and then yelled, “Slender-Miah-n!! Nooo--”

His words were cut off by his collapse in an unconscious heap. Miah chuckled only slightly maniacally as she grabbed Caddy’s feet and dragged him through a secret door into a room.

After adding giant sucker marks across Caddy’s chest with a special vacuum cleaner attachment, Miah used a spoon to launch vanilla pudding at him. Then she stuck tufts of fur to him, and left the RA she’d stolen from her agents next to him. The last two addresses programmed into it were the Giant Squid fic and somewhere in a Redwall badfic (not That Series).

By this time, Caddy was starting to wake up. Miah took the neuralizer that she had also stolen from her agents and with her eyes closed tightly said, “Caddy!” flash She opened her eyes and saw that Caddy was in the post-neuralized suggestible state.

“Wow! You really have a thing for cephalopods, Caddy-shack! I can’t believe you wanted the Giant Squid after all those little ones! And where’d you pick up the fur?”

Caddy looked like he was about to deny it when he saw the giant sucker marks. “Uh-no?”

Miah was trying, somewhat less than successfully, to stifle fully maniacal laughter.

“I-I don’t remember?”

“Well, I’m just going to be going now,” Miah said as she went out the door.

The door closed and Caddy heard veritable howls of laughter from the hall.

“Why do I smell vanilla pudding?” he said to no one in particular.

I'm male, and... yeah, that's about it. Go nuts if you want to.

Female, shippable, with a male please. Five foot three, Chinese, glasses, shoulder length dark brown hair usually held up in a headband, and a generally chipper personality.

But if anyone wants to use me, feel free. I'm female.

If anyone knows who I am/cares who I am, sure, feel free to ship me.

Oh, and I'm male.

Elsewhere, a group of boarders sat around, doing nothing at all.

Antigonie68104 steepled her fingers, and drummed them against the side of the couch they were leaning over.

After a few minutes, Adamantine spoke up. "So, how about that local sports team?"

Another person booed, and threw a book at his head, which Adamantine neatly ducked.

"Oh, for the love of..." Maslab huffed, got out of his chair, and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Something Blue rolled her eyes.

From an armchair in the corner, MAXinsanity sighed despondently.


(No offense meant, guys.)

In a forgotten corner of the Board there is a cupboard. On this particular day the door to the cupboard was left partly open and a squeaking sound could be heard from inside.

"Oh Bryn," squeaked a tiny voice, "don't stop."

"Nesh," replied a tiny voice of the Bryn kind, "this is so fun. Can you do me next?"

Nesh squeaked and moaned her approval of that plan inside the cupboard as Bryn continued.

The door to the cupboard was nudged from the inside and opened to reveal Plushie!Bryn sewing up a rip in Plushie!Nesh's shoulder. Plushie!Nesh was enjoying the treatment thoroughly.

Plat sat in the lobby, bearing only his trusty sombrero, and the kilt he found outside of a closet. Although his suspicions were unconfirmed, he did seem to recognize it from somewhere...

Regardless! He looked around. It seemed quiet... perhaps too quiet... he slowly looked behind when suddenly he felt himself tackled to the ground “the hell...” he managed to say before he saw the faces of 9th Blue Mage, Firebird, Aster, and Silikat

“You gotta help us! Something went wrong with the lustin!” Aster yelled, as she climbed off of Plat and boarded up the doors.

“How do you mean ‘went wrong’?” Plat asked, curious and yet slightly disappointed that he’d been tackled for (to him) the wrong reasons

“Well, you know how Bryn and Miah have been sniping people with tranquilizing darts? Something went wrong and now most of the board is...” 9th Blue Mage swallowed nervously “Sexlexic.” She said, looking most concerned.

“Sex-whats-it? Huh?” Plat said, trying to straighten himself and not upset his fellow hyperventilating boarders

“Sexlexia, it’s a terrible disease. Simply debilitating. There... There’s only one cure, I’m afraid...”

Plat nodded with purpose, and strode out of the room- leaving the black kilt behind. He wouldn’t need it where he was going- for he was the man with no shame.

"Data, you bastard! I'll kill you for this!" Browyn shouted as she struggled with Data Junkie, who was carrying her over his shoulder.
"Possibly. Not today though," Data said. He proceeded to open up a closet and drop her in, before shutting the door and locking her in with two familiar faces.
"Hullo, Bryn," Khroma said, and smiled meekly.
"He's mine, Bryn!" Caddy-Shack exclaimed, tugging on Khroma's arm protectively.
Minutes later, Data heard Khroma's terrified squeeks coming from inside the closet, and walked away chuckling.
"They'll sort themselves out eventually, and I'll let 'em out tomorrow. Or after the weekend. Assuming they want out, that is."

"Alright, are you all excited about what we're doing today?" Bronwyn asked her trio of contracted employees/fodder.

"But we don't know what we're doing today," Caddy responded.

"Or why you made us come without clothes," DigitalSocrates added, adding emphasis that they were all quite naked. It wasn't that cold in the Sue Labratory, but the large metal trapdoor she had them standing on was very cold, and they were all speckled in goosebumbs.

"Or weapons," Data conluded, to the agreement of his peers. It wasn't exactly an ideal arrangement for warding off the Sues they faced on a regular basis, which was difficult enough in full riot gear.

"Well, I'm excited!" Bronwyn squeeled, pulling out a black riding crop. It's black weave matched the color of her corset and garter belt, the only bits of apparel she had opted to bring. "You see, I just got in a whole truckload of My Little Squiddlies from a Homestruck Suefic, so you all can have a break from Sue Experiements while you test them out to make sure they work!"

"Work at...?" Caddy asked uncertainly.

"Use your imagination!" Bronwyn laughed evilly, and slammed the crop down on the panel, opening up the trapdoors and dropping the three into a non-Euclidian ocean of primary colored pseudopods.

"Don't worry!" she shouted after them. "They probably can't kill you!"

"Attention ladies of the posting board," said a voice over the speaker in the Lounge. "You are all invited to the auditorium for a special exhibition."

There were some puzzled looks from the female population, but they shuffled to the auditorium anyways, for lack of anything better to do. All the men had disappeared a while back and the lack of their constant shenanigans was beginning to get boring.

The ladies entered the auditorium and milled about for a couple of minutes, wondering what this exhibition was supposed to be.

"Doesn't this all seem sort of familiar?" asked Neshomeh.

"It does," said July, her eyes narrowing as she sensed something was not right.

"Doesn't seem familiar to me," said The 9th Blue Mage.

The conversation didn't have time to continue because, at that moment, someone cut the lights. There were startled cries and muttered curses from the girls present. These sounds of dismay faded away as the sound of an amp was heard from the direction of the stage.

"We are the Powerful Plover Collaborative!" yelled someone who seemed to have a microphone. "We're here to make you swoon and take off your clothes and stuff!"

A spotlight came up on Rosie Azrael at a microphone. The light continued to grow more intense and soon the whole stage was lit. The ladies in the audience had time to notice that there were others on the stage when the sound of drumsticks clicking filled the space.

Platinumyo finished counting and began to beat on the drums in front of him. He was soon joined by Artell, who was playing a purple, axe-shaped guitar. Phobos, who was wearing a black kilt, was playing bass guitar near Caddy-shack. Caddy was standing behind a rack holding two keyboards, which he played with one hand on each. Opposite Caddy on the stage was a DJ set-up which was manned by Data Junkie, who had on sunglasses and a pair of headphones.

Rosie adjusted his leather jacket and started singing. "Girl, I'm the one for you; But you're so far away; I tell you what I'm gonna do; I'll be with you today."

When Rosie got to the chorus he was joined by Sergio Turbo and Tranum who were singing the harmonies. "I'm gonna portal to your heart; It has to be; Gotta do my part; You are my destiny; This is how it starts; I'm gonna portal to your heart."

The bridge began and the ladies in the audience started screaming in glee as Dann appeared on a platform twenty feet above the stage and played an epic solo on an electric cello.

The next verse started with panties, bras, and the occasional t-shirt flying at the stage. These were followed by Pretzel and Makari storming the stage and carrying Sergio off for some quality time.

The song came to a conclusion, minus one back-up singer, with Artell crowd-surfing. He disappeared somewhere in the middle of the audience and never made it back to the stage. While Rosie's final note of "Portal To Your Heart" echoed in the air, the women of the board stormed the stage and showed how much they loved the song and the men of the Powerful Plover Collaborative.

It was a busy day on the Board, and so it came as no surprise when several utterly shagged Boarders came slumping into the kitchen looking to fill their tanks.

"I'm beat," sighed DigitalSocrates. "Is my bread done yet?" He went to check the oven.

"No," VixenMage answered from the stove, "but I'm making a soup from vegetable stock. It has all sorts of delicious juices in it."

JulyFlame and Data Junkie came around the corner. "Juices, you say?" said DJ, echoed by JF barely a beat behind: "Stock, you say?"

"Oh yes," VM answered. "My soup has something for everyone. But there's still something missing." She turned imploringly to the group.

"I'm sure we can think of some things," JF said helpfully. "I've got a nice fresh cabbage here." Everyone admired JF's lovely cabbage.

"I'd love to dip my bread in your hot soup just the way it is," DS said. "It's almost done... so close...."

DJ hung his head sadly. "All I have is this plump sausage, but I know VM doesn't like sausage."

"Aw, that's all right," VM said. "The rest of you can share DJ's sausage, and we can all enjoy my soup with JF's cabbage and DS's bread!"

And they did.

Sign me up for being shipped, ladies and gentlebeings!

*is female, English, blonde, and heavily nearsighted without her glasses*

Should anyone be interested in using me, I'm a rather tall male who wears glasses, is rather withdrawn, and in general is somewhat weird. I don't know if I'll actually start a story, but I'll certainly respond to a post featuring me.

But I'd prefer if things were kept somewhat out of the gutter. I'm trying to swim here, people. Okay, uh...Oh, right, description. Tall, brown-haired French male with glasses...um...think that's all I'm gonna say for now. Oh, yes, and I prefer women, but knowing you lot, what I prefer doesn't really matter too much...

P.S. Jesus, my elipses are getting out of control lately. I should really start being more careful...

P.P.S. Goddammit, that last one wasn't even me being funny/sarcastic. It was just a reflex. A friggin' reflex. I really need to work on this.

Like Something Blue, I'm underage, so not having shippings with me would be nice.
I'll still witness the insanity, though!

Girl, age 21, you've seen the pics of me from the Gatherings.

Kitsune106 can't access the Board, but he says if you want to use him as well you're welcome to.

RosieAzrael caught sight of a twinkle of rainbow sequins, and, rather intrigued, went in to go see.

Within the room, Bronwyn was struggling to sew sequins to a bustier, sitting by a large pile of the things. She looked rather sweet.

"I thought the candyman came by." Rosie grinned widely.

She looked up, and waved, flailingly. "Hi, Rosie!" She squeaked.

"What're you doing there?" Rosie leaned against the frame of the doorway.

"I'm trying to work on my costume. But it's going to take forever at this rate!"

"What for?"

"Columbia, from Rocky Horror," she said, looking up at Rosie. Her bright blue and closely cut hair contrasted against her pale skin. Rosie could imagine her easily with red hair. "July said I'd be able to pull it off. My mom agrees. So I'm going to try and get this done in time for a con! Even if it kills me!"

"Don't you panic, I'm sure you'll get it done."

"I think I need help! Some sort of assistant!"

"Well, if you need some help," Rosie walked into the room properly, "I don't know about sweet transvestites, but I can definitely help if you want a sweet transsexual."

Miah finished changing all her darts out for ones that did not include Lustin when she spied Pretzel and Rosie. She was about to target them, when she caught what they were saying.

“You’re wearing what, strapped where, Rosie?”

Doctorlit suddenly appeared from around the corner, naked. “Yes. What? Where?”

Pretzel and Rosie looked at each other and then giggled.

Rosie put an arm around Doc’s shoulder and turned him toward a room, “How about we show you.”

Pretzel’s voice was muffled by her shirt, “Yeah it’ll be--” she threw the shirt on the floor. “fun!”

Miah checked her old supply of darts. Had the Lustin in them escaped somehow?

So long as those of us who do not yet have permission are allowed entry then count me in. It sound's like a chuckle and to be fair, I'm always game for a laugh.

I'm male and straight but very open-minded :P

9th Blue Mage was turning a corner, whistling a Mariah Carey song, when she suddenly bumped into someone.
"Sorry, Plat, I didn..." she trailed off as she noticed Platinumyo was completely naked. He had a sombrero, though. "Why are you naked?" she said cautiously; she wasn't sure if she did want to know the answer.
"I'm not naked, I'm wearing Adam's suit. He lent it to me, but he doesn't know yet."
"That makes no sense."
"Not at all, but you know what does? My stamp collection. Wanna check it?"
9th beamed and nodded.

Later, in Platinumyo's room
"Well, this is certainly huge. You say this is the largest in the world?"
"Exactly. 9.44 inches long and 2.7 inches wide, printed by China in 1913. But enough Philately for the day; he have better things to do."
And having said that, he threw his sombrero to a corner.

Miah waved sadly as Bryn had to evacuate the Secret and Unfindable Cusion Fort because of the tsunami warning. Just as Miah climbed back into the fort, she saw Data and Khroma walking down the hall.

“Hee hee. They’ll do for now,” she chuckled as she shot both of them with her tranquilizer gun.

“What the h--” Data managed to say before he fell to the ground unconscious.

Miah quickly dragged her victims to a nearby empty room and made some arrangements. As soon as they started to wake up, she pushed the button on the neuralizer she had stolen from her agents, and took advantage of the susceptibility to suggestion the neuralizer produced.

“Dude! What are you guys doing?”

Data looked around and realized that he was draped over Khroma, and that neither of them were overly clothed. “Uh...”

Khroma looked shocked for a few seconds. Then he twisted and rolled and ended up straddling Data. He leaned in for a kiss, and said, “I believe it went something like this?”

Data recovered quickly, and when the kiss finally broke up, said, “Oh, yeah. I think so too.”

Miah left the room muttering, “Memo to self, next time, do not include Lustin in the tranquilizer darts.”

When Phobos and Neshomeh entered the wardrobe, they were aware of three things.

One, there were matters that needed to be 'taken care of'.

Two, it was quite dark, but utterly slow, and warm.

Three, they were not alone, going from the expressive moaning coming from quite near by, that both were quite sure was not from either of them.

"Damn!" Phobos said, and he hurriedly returned his zip to standing position, all the way up.

"It's okay," VM's dreamy voice said, somewhere near Neshomeh's elbow.

There was a pause for a moment, and even lower, and closer to the floor, they heard Techno-Dann's voice. "There's enough room."

A second moan came from a bit deeper in the closet. They could barely make out July and Artell in the back, past assorted winter coats.

Neshomeh looked intrigued.

"Whoa there," Phobos said, stepping slightly in front of her. "I'm first."

"Of course you are." Her hand went down Phobos' trousers, and the hairs on his neck, arms, and elsewhere stood straight out.

The tantalizing, wonderful silence as they began to pull each others' shirts off was broken by July.

"Can you guys make some room up there? I'm getting snow in my panties."

The room was dark save for the flickering candles in the corners. The floor was covered in soft pillows, blankets and rugs. Vixenmage was standing over JulyFlame wearing nothing but a smile and the Permission Giver Hat.

"Come on, let's do this already," begged July, who was already flushed with anticipation. She reached up to pull VM down to her.

Vixenmage playfully slapped July's hand. "Tsk tsk tsk," said VM, her smile widening. She chuckled slightly, "So hasty. We'll have some fun." She knelt down and ran a hand down July's cheek. "But not before I give you Permission."

"I didn't think that anyone would take me seriously," Aster moaned, covered in pad thai sauce (sans the fish sauce for vegetarian friendliness).

"Hah," said VM, between licks, "It isn't that they took you seriously, it's that you gave them the idea in the first place. Never do that!" She put her hands on a rather sensitive place.

"But I couldn't help- aah!" Aster arced back, and moaned even more. "Stop talking, more licking!"

Aster is a 5' 7'' female with messy brown hair, eyes of indeterminate color, who swings both ways and is probably too confrontational.

I hope its not too late.

Male, six feet tall, brown hair and brown eyes.

However, I'm going to write only after reading some, since it's my first shipfic fest.

Might as well learn the game while I can, though I will move caustiously forward, until I know enough about this game.
I'm a 6,4 tall male, with long brown blond hair, and blue eyes. See what you can make out of that :P

Silikat's a brown-haired, blue eyed, plumper than she would like to admit female of average height.

Rosie is a tall, redheaded, female-to-male transsexual. Don't worry, it's not contagious. :P

I may not get a chance to write anything, at least not anything long, but I'll do my best, since my spring break just started.

A recent-ish photo is available on my user page at the Wiki, if anyone cares about that. Also, I'm around five-foot-three(ish).

Though Glod knows if I'll produce anything readable.

(Am girltype, for the confused. I've been told I do that a lot.)

Phobos is a tall, hairy male. Neshomeh is, of course, female. Ship us by each alone or as a pair. It's all good.

As amusing as this event will probably be, I have little interest in reading this sort of thing, and even less in writing it. Since this last would violate rule #3, I'm out.

Interpret that as you will. :3 I'm female, but I genderbend myself occasionally, so by all means go for it if you like.

This sound like a great idea! I am male.

I'm very in. It'll be interesting to see what people come up with. I am, for the record, male. Not that it matters much, since genderbending is always an option.

Go for it.

Do we need to tell about ourselves or anything else for this?

Nonetheless, please do not ship me, 'k? Underage and all that. I look forwards to reading it, though.

Male, shippable, awesome, likes long walks on the beach and blah blah blah.

I'm in. And I'm a her.

That was really the only part of the plot that bugged me, and it was just because, well, headtiltingly weird crack pairing. But everybody's pretty much in-character, and it isn't even boring, so I'll just go move it off the claimed badfic list.

To be fair I would say there is only one real question. Does the fi make you long to put your head in a blender? If it does PPC the lemon juice out of it.

By that I mean: it actually sounds like an interesting plot. Like falling in love with a ghost.

If you're only gripe is that you wouldn't have come up with a story like that, it's probably not badfic.

Hey Tawaki, where can I get to your missions (seeing as Geocities went down a while back)?

...WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO HERMIONE?!!?

... a little more information about the fics would be helpful, seeing as the summaries are so decidedly not.

...PFFFT. I should really sit down and do one of these, it seems like fun.

Wow, those were the most unrealistic murder aftermaths that I have ever seen, and the villain's pratically in front of them! How can they overlook his behavior like that?!

The link within the link doesn't work, Blue....

You might want to fix the link on your webpage, though. It has far too many "Http"s and "Https"es.

What are your fandoms? Do you like "Lord of the Rings"?

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this domesticated giant ant as a welcoming gift.

Welcome! Have a pair of rusty scissors, they're quite good at cutting away author-spirits from canon characters.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have some chocolate.

Welcome, newbie! Have this glass of water.

Have a conical hat! It's made out of duct tape and tin foil, so it keeps the conspiracy theorists out AND is indestructible!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome: To the PPC boards.
We hope: You shall enjoy it here.
Please have: A pet cat, a tinfoil hat, an omnipotent bat and a llama who is fat.

Hope you survive the experience. As a special Newbie gift I give you this first part of a scale model of PPC HQ. This easy model comes in 14,000 pieces, and the first piece is free just for you. Future pieces cost $100 each.

Welcome to the Board. Your newbie gift can be found here. Enjoy.

-Phobos

Since you've already got an Arrow, Have a Bow!

Here you have a snake, so as you don't feel alone in that thing of touching your nose with your tongue. He just eats tomatoes.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Have a good visit here, okay. Also, be careful with your ability. It could react from reading badfic...especially legendary ones.

Anyway, have some snacks!

*waves* Welcome. Have.. er.. some hot chocolate mix, I have it somewhere... *searches through pockets, eventually comes up with a slightly battered packet of hot chocolate mix with those weird shrunken marshmallows, tosses it to Arrow*

Welcome, new friend! Have a penstrich! Its feathers fall out pre-inked, for convenience.

Have a shiny star! It's good for sailing tall ships by, and maybe other things!

Here, have a bottle of Bleepka. You'll need it soon.

Welcome back! have some chocolate. To clarify: not some
I have an unexplicable urge to say, "It sounds as though you will be a valuable addition to this team," but that is strangely executive-sounding. So I will refrain. Have you read TP's Mastiff yet? I heard it was good, but I'm trying to restrain myself from buying it because Bloodhound wasn't as good as Terrier.

Anyways, having contributed some ramble and fodder, adios! (unless you're an atheist, then I'm not sure what to say in Spanish... er...)
~Aeidhryn

*waves* Ooh, Harry Potter, Tamora Pierce, Star Wars, Pokemon and Zelda? I like you!
Have a cheesecake. It may or may not be lemon, but it is definitely stale.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Oh dear...I must restock soon...

Hmmm, what kind of gift for the latest arrival. Ooooh, have a return ticket to Paris. It's good up until yesterday.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this interesting hat of undetermined origin as a welcoming present.

Hi! Have some fudge!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Hey there, have this memory stick!

Aren't you Makari's person?

Welcome (back)!
Have a pen that never runs out of ink, should be useful at one point or another.

(Awesome, more Warriors fans. And Tamora Pierce fans. *waves a little flag*)

Nice t'meet ya. *extends a hand in greeting* Have a shiny rock.

(I don't really object I just wanted to post a silly picture).

You probably need to replace

"The Spinosaurus came out of the plothole with loud splash as it landed fully in the river"

with

"The Spinosaurus came out of the plothole with a loud splash as it landed fully in the river"

I've never seen a Jurassic Park Badfic, although if I had time to check Fanfiction.net, I'm sure I'd find some. It makes me sad.

Seems like all JP badfic is disgusting liaisons between humans and dinosaurs. It's a setting filled with giant man-eating reptiles. Can't badfic authors come up with a more interesting plot than sex?

♪Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark. The dinosaurs are running wild...♪

I think he's a very decent character. I can think of a lot of fun to be had out of a character with high professional standards.

This was a really good mission that was tasteful, funny, and had a lot of good banter.

While Caddy was really funny, I think that Orken was a great addition. His sense of 'professionalism' was comedy in of itself.

Also, it made me respect Animorphs more. Poor Orken! 'Flushed out a toilet...'

Those poor dinosaurs. I'd thought the sues had lost interest in that fandom. So much for wishful thinking. Very fitting death for the sue though IMO.

because, among other, more obvious things, SCHIZOPHRENIA IS NOT THE SAME AS MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Thank you and goodnight.

Glaurung! I just noticed the claiming thread below!

I'm late, but what does it matter? I love pi day (probably because it's math related) and pi(e)! Huzzah!

I share this link with you: http://vihart.com/blog/pi-is-still-wrong/ Vi's awesome.

Who could have known that Pi would be so melodious.

I've looked at the date several times today. I've recalled it to myself at least five different times. And yet it took looking at this post to figure out that it was Pi Day.

I'm brilliant~ :D

Three cheers for holidays that I usually don't remember until after the fact.

The video doesn't work; all I get is "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Lars Erikson"

Potential Tenth Walker Alert -- the Suethor hasn't gotten to Rivendell yet, but the way this fic is going I'll bet a hot fudge sundae her Sue joins up.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6693370/1/With_one_Step

The Sue is Aragorn's daughter/Arwen's niece, a telepath, can change into a wolf, and has a pet dragon hatchling.

Sweet Aslan defend us.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5335231/1/Another_Heart_Calls

Words cannot express my abject RAGE. What she DOES to Ramandu's Daughter. She has Reepicheep in Narnia after VDT. She brings Susan back for a love triangle with Caspian and "Hera." Susan's apparently now dead in England. "Hera" apparently hates Aslan and is evil underneath her prettiness. Lucy's having dreams. There are still evil "Telamarines" in Narnia. And she just brought Peter back, I think.

SOMEONE KILL IT. Before I do something nasty to the author.

Out of curiosity, I looked at the author's profile and found that they had posted what looks like the true first chapter of this story in a separate file here.

Also, if there's going to be a posse gathered, then I'd be more than willing to throw Agents Lee and Ian's names in if they're not busy at the time.

We're gonna need a DOGA agent for part of this -- there's an elven village at the top of a ten mile tall tree that needs to be removed.

"I …..I … am … Frodo Bakkings and this is the Shire in the 6th era."

I... There are no words.

I read the entire series two summers ago, just as it was starting to get absurdly popular.

So yeah. I know a lot about it, sadly enough. I'll be glad to be of help, though.

Most of the points have been covered, but I'll recap;
~Sparkling in sunlight instead of burning. (It really doesn't get much worse than this.)
~Drinking animal blood as a substitute to human blood.
~Ridiculously fast, strong, and powerful.
~Practically indestructible, short of decapitation and burning.
~No sleep at all, period, the end.
~Perfect, strait white teeth. No, I'm not joking.
~Described as the most beautiful things to walk the earth. (Gag.) Seriously, dear Eddikins is called 'beautiful' or 'handsome' or 'a Greek god' every other sentence.
~'Vegetarian' Vampires (AKA the wusses who drink animal blood) have golden eyes when they're not thirsty and black eyes when they need more blood. The vampires that drink human blood have red eyes.



...yeah. It's bad. Really, really, REALLY bad.

Despite having sporked two Twifics, I know little about the series. The TVTropes page on it has a wealth of important and trivial information: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Twilight

Don't click any links though, or you may well get lost on the site.

All I know is that the freaks sparkle in sunlight (not turning to ash or burning, like vampires are SUPPOSED TO) and that the Cullens are 'neighborhood friendly vampires' and drink only animal blood. The series riles me because of these factors, as well as many others.

Despite most vampires in the series not drinking human blood, they are incredibly strong and fast. In one scene, Edward jumps in front of a van and stops it from crushing Bella. With his hand. That's by my memory anyway.

Well, I was forced at gun point to read the books, so would be happy to share what I know of them with you. Couldn't quote specific chapter and verse however.

The main attributes of Twilight Vampires appear to be:
The sparkle in direct sunlight.
Enhanced speed and strenght.
Blood drinking [for the most part]
You need to tear them apart to kill them.
They have a genetic dislike of Werewolves.
They do not sleep.

That's most of the main points I think, although I may have missed a few.

http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Vampire

This should have everything you would need to know, hope it helps! ^_^

I'm afraid I can't help much with Twilight, since I haven't read them either, but there are some who have around.

It's just cool when people who were around when I first joined turn up. {= ) And, can I ask you something? When Geocities went down, we saved a bunch of stuff, including the SIELU site, which is now here, but some bits appear to be incomplete. I'm thinking particularly of the bit on Bleepadryl, but I think there are some links to missing things in the essay on Elven languages, too. I'm hoping you might still have copies lying around, and that I might be able to fill in those things.

Anyway, welcome back! It's very nice to see you. ^_^

~Neshomeh

We're glad to have you with us. Have a star for sailing tall ships by (though it may also be good for other uses).

Have a chainmail bracelet!

Oh, right, forgot about those. XD
I like Harry Potter, Terry Pratchett, LoTR (but I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of that, as I think many people here do!)

Always good to meet a new person! Take this Frodo Baggins pencil topper, and have a ball!

Greetings and Salutations, O new one. Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a green gnat and a large pat. (On the back, that is. Not a cowpat. That'd be mean.)

*pokes* Is it a squishy person, preciousss?

Ahem.

Welcome to the Board! Lovely to have you here. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object; handy for distracting people and staring at!

What fandoms are you into? :)

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this stylish hooded black coat with silver chain accessories as a welcoming gift.

Here you have and old Nintendo 8 bit cartridge of Pacman. Hope you enjoy it!

Welcome, new friend! Have an Arcane Compendium+.

Welcome to the boards! Here, have some snacks and water!

A question, though: What series (Shows, books, comics, and video games) do you like? Because I could've sworn that I've seen your username somewhere before...

Hi! Have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocoate, and enjoy your stay!

Out of curiousity, what fandoms do you follow?

Have this piece of paper and a biro!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the party. Have an expired mobile phone battery. It needs charging, but it may come in handy one day.

The Original Series, mostly, but I've also been reading Wiki articles about minisues and so on.
Just out of curiosity, has anyone tried making a PPC comic? It seems to me like it could be an interesting way to take ov-
Ahem.
Expand. I meant to say expand. >_

Have a box of assorted pixels.

So, what have you been reading these two hours? The Original Series? One of the spin-offs? A combination of both?

Inquiring minds want to know.

-Phobos

I've had it long enough, might as well wear it.

I'm going to go ahead and say you have my Permissiony seal of approval.

You have indeed learned the ways of the beta; your sample is very technically solid, and entertained me to boot. DS does have some valid points, but I think you have a good enough grasp on things that not only will you be all right, you'll continue to improve. Just remember that concrit and betas are your friends, and everything'll be shiny.

Cheers.

The writing sample that is. A bit too much sitting around, a bit too much travel that doesn't add anything to the development of the plot (there's a reason that most stories neglect spelling out when their characters go to the bathroom).

You also make too many references to the plutonium incident. If a single event is such a central point of the relationship between all these characters you should come up with more facets to it than just 'Greenwall left some plutonium out.'

Also i got lost about halfway through before realizing I had completely missed the transition to Flashback. When the entire story is written in past tense, steps have to be taken to differentiate between 'currently' happening things and flashbacks.

Just to reiterate: brevity is important. If excitement and enthusiasm are Greenwall's traits, how are those illustrated in him moping about in his RC while his partner goes off on missions alone? The Law of Narrative comedy could have easily led him directly to getting a fleeting glance of the escaping mini instead of leading him back to his RC to think of searching for it on his own.

Note that this is all personal opinion rather than technical problems, and the themes are very entertaining (I particularly like the Mini Shenanigans), could all just stand to be a bit better executed.
Also note that I am not a permission giver :P

Since I was one of the betas, I consider myself unduly biased, so someone else'll have to Permit or not. I'm all for Permitting, though. {= )

~Neshomeh

I wish you all the best with that SG-1 fic. It looks like a doozy.

Okay. I liked your characters - Meta seems like he would be fun to read, and the interaction of the serious nature of Biggins with his devil-may-care attitude looks interesting.

But honestly, I don't feel comfortable giving you permission at the moment; the syntax was off, and the story seemed to lack polish.

Don't take this as a once-and-for-all no, you're quite welcome to try again when you feel you've got a better handle on your spelling and grammar. In fact, if you can send me your e-mail, on the IRC or something, I'll go over it again and let you know what I spotted. I hope you continue to hang around and post, and best of luck working on writings in general!

The following paragraph,
If the face of a Daisy was capable of glaring then the Marquis was certainly managing it. I have a report from Doctor Fitzgerald that you 'found' a Remote Activator left behind in your home continuum by one of our newer agents, and with the assistance of a Canon character known as Forge you were able to active the device and transport yourself here. Have I missed anything?
is doubled, and contains a word choice error: 'you were able to activate the device'

It's a bit clumsily worded when the Marquis says he's left with 'a new requirement for agents.' A better choice may be 'I'm left with an opening for agents,' or 'I'm now shorthanded' or something to that effect.

And that's it. Very entertaining read.

I'm not a permission giver (I don't even have permission myself yet), but I like it so far! You might want to get it beta read, though; a few commas appear to be missing, there are a few other grammatical errors, and "If the face of a Daisy was capable of glaring then the Marquis was certainly managing it. I have a report from Doctor Fitzgerald that you 'found' a Remote Activator left behind in your home continuum by one of our newer agents, and with the assistance of a Canon character known as Forge you were able to active the device and transport yourself here. Have I missed anything?" was put twice.
Great job, otherwise!

Or at least, I've got 1 and 2... I don't remember what happened with 3. For some reason I have two different versions of 1... they're labelled as 'One' and 'One Mod', but I don't have the faintest idea why.

If you want them, I've just thrown them up on YouSendIt here. The zip should be accessible for a week or so.

hS

As per friggin' usual, I suppose. Mazeltov nevertheless, y'all!

We're very happy for you!

We're not likely to be in any of those places, but should coincidence strike, we'd be happy to see you again. Southampton might be the most probable.

Congratulations again!

-- hS and Kaitlyn, who are glad to see another PPC couple

Unfortunetly, I can't be there, being "across the pond" and all, but best wishes to the both of you anyway!

I don't live in Britain (I'm Canadian, eh?), but congratulations all the same! Hope you have a great wedding!

Most excellent to hear - hope the special day is indeed special (and as low stress as can be in the leadup) and that you enjoy the cruise.

Best wishes for the day and for your life together,

Elcalion

Hope you guys have a happy marriage, and I hope that you enjoy your trip! Really, tell everybody about your time on the cruise once you all come back!

I'm not in any of those areas, so I won't be able to see you two. That, and I'm still in high school. So yeah...

Can't help you, I'm afraid, but Scotland is gorgeous - Inverness in particular - and I'm sure you'll love it. Congratsi again, and may you be very, very happy! :D

Wow! Congrats!

May you both have a wonderful life together! *applauds*

I hope you have a great ceremony and cruise, and a wonderful life together!

My very best wishes to you both!

Also, I don't live in any of those place, but the nearest one to me is Liverpool. I'm sure I can arrange a trip there for the day if you tell me what date you'll be there. It would be awesome. =D

Congratulations, and thrice congratulations!

Yeah, those parenthetical notes are a tad strange. I live in the north of England, but I've been to London a few times. It depends on how near you want to be to Heathrow, as there's quite a few places to stay in the area. When I stayed to be within easy access of the airport (I needed to catch an early flight to Greece), I stayed at the Renaissance Hotel, which you can find here:

http://www.marriott.co.uk/hotels/travel/lhrbr-renaissance-london-heathrow-hotel/

It's got pretty good access to everything remotely interesting, as well as Heathrow, and it's also pretty cheap even though it's got four stars. I've also heard good things about the Sheraton Skyline, but I've not stayed there:

http://www.sheratonskyline.com/

I hope this helps!

I'm happy for you guy, that trip sounds really nice! I wish you two many, many happy years together.

I hope your lives together are wonderful.

:: digs out the bubble bottle from the last wedding she attended, blows bubbles around the board ::

Let me not to the marriage of true minds<br>    Admit impediments. Love is not love<br>    Which alters when it alteration finds,<br>    Or bends with the remover to remove.<br>    O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark<br>    That looks on tempests and is never shaken;<br>    It is the star to every wand'ring bark,<br>    Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.<br>    "Sonnet 116," 1–8 <br><br><br> 

That is just cool. I hope you have a happy matrimony, I really hope so.

Congratulations!

(For the ones who wonders why I am throwing rice, this is the tradition in Italy. Actually, we do that AFTER the ceremony, but it doesn't matter.)

Don't know if I'll be able to meet you at any of those times, as I had to get my January exams delayed due to health problems and they're now in August, and my family holiday takes up another week of that month. But I'll try.

Congratulations to the pair of you. May your lives be filled with joy and many years of pleasure.

As for English knowledge. You can access Heathrow from the Picadilly line on the London tube system, so chances are you would be able to find a cheapish hotel in the South East of London, say Hammersmith or Ealing somewhere in that area and then just tube straight to the airport. Hotels in that area are far enough away from the center that they shouldn't be too horribly priced.

Have fun on the cruise!

Wait, that's the wrong one.

Anyways have fun and everything!

That is awesome. I wish you two the best, and have fun on your cruise!

I wish the two of you the best!

I wish you both luck and happiness! *throws rose petals*

Funny. You're getting married exactly two weeks before I become a legal adult.

May you enjoy many happy years together!

*hugs* Awesome! In the most literal sense! And all the happiness to both of you!

Good luck with everything!

Here goes my wishes of a long life of happiness and love.

Welcome! Have a Starlight Compass; good for sailing tall ships, and maybe some other things.

Hello and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Just out of curiousity, what fandoms do you follow?

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome to the boards. Hope that you enjoy your time here!

Céad míle fáilte romhat! Please enjoy this ten-gallon hat as a welcoming present (note: may not actually hold ten gallons.)

Welcome! Have a Nice Hat!

Nice to meetcha. :P

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They come in handy for sneak attacks and distracting people.

What fandoms interest you? (And, because I have a sneaking interest, where are you from and how much d'you know about the military?)

Welcome, have this beer-battered salmon!

Hi! Have some fudge!

Please, leave your sanity and flamethrowers at the door. *holds hands out to receive the items*
Here you have this sentient clock: when you have fun it goes faster, and when you're bored it goes slower!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the fun and frolics. Have a collection of exotic, but totally worthless stamps.

Hi, new person! Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat, a cricket bat and a cry of "You can't do that!"

I am almost out of NM&NMs...I shall have to go back and find that post I got them from and collect some more...but still...

*throws a few NM&NMs at you*

May they be of use. :D

I am also a new guy, and I also learned of this place through TvTropes. Has TvTropes ruined your life yet?
Oh, also, have a Deliciously Munchy Lobster, AKA a terrible attempt at reverse-engineering an acronym! XD

Welcome, good sir.

Yes, definitely the best. I love that site.

*throws cake*

I'm not Italian and I can't wikipedia it right now, so...Happy Italian Holiday!

Never mind I'm not Italian, if there's party I'll join.

So the fic I'm sporking has a ton of inoffensive OCs of around ten years of age. Do I let them fade into the background, or do I rescue them all, or just rescue one, or what? Because I have a feeling that the folks over at the creche would NOT be happy if my agents brought in 13 ten-year-old girls. Advice?

I'm thinking about trying for Permission, once I get past a gaming convention I appear to be helping with.

The impression I've gotten from some PotC missions is that historical bloopers are a valid charge in continua based on Earth history. But how are they classed? They don't seem to fit anywhere but Subjective Charges on the charge lists I've read, but they're not subjective.

Stop changing your name all the time. It is needless, ridiculous, and it is perfectly fine for you to remain Chliever without constantly changing your handle here.

Also, picnob sounds like some sort of insult. :P

Looks like I'm looking for the Archives, then. Is there anyone there, like a head Archivist, that already exists? If not, would anyone mind terribly if I created one?

What I want to know is how missions get assigned to agents.

(The correct answer is, 'unfortunately.')

But in all seriousness... Intelligence scopes out a fic, reports it... and then what? Does it go to a database where it's then sorted based on available agents who are in the right department/know the canon? Are there poor interns wading through badfic summaries sending individual alerts day and night? Is there a sadistic unholy power harnessed to give the most unfortunate mission to the most undeserving agents?

Do Wizards do it?

I mean, it seems like a gap in the mission process nobody's talked about yet.

Unless they have. Which would mean I am blind/not as well-read as I think I am. >_>

They deal with records regarding Agents being assigned to partners, RCs etc, and handle the Archives. It's why so many Agents hate the Marquis de Sod; he rules where they go. :P

Sounds like you want the Archives.

I think this has gone on long enough. Let's all agree that stuff happened involving you that was dumb, and that it's over now, and that we're moving on. Therefore, you don't have to continue with this sort of self-flagellation, and we can all get along without the temptation for further drama. If you have questions, that's fine. But ask them like a normal person and don't double-post when you already have a question thread. Capiche? No further comment on this topic should be necessary.

As for the actual questions, I don't know when Echo and Kat were written, but if what they did is different from what we're doing now, that's fine. It wouldn't make sense to have multiple APDs, so we've standardized it. It's hardly the only time something like that's been done, so it's really not a cause for concern--especially since other people have got on board and written missions in the APD as it is now.

To paraphrase something Dann said, we decide what the continuity is around here. If we don't think there's a problem with the continuity, there isn't. QED.

~Neshomeh

However, I would say something along the lines of "Brian Jacques no longer inhabits the Real World, but his spirit lives on and he will never abandon the Abbey he put so much of his life into." Acknowledging his death with respect, but pointing out that he wouldn't abandon the world he made. So he's always been with the OFU in spirit, looking after the people trying to protect Redwall.

Or something similar. I waffle about this stuff, and I dunno if it'll be any help at all.

Would it be alright to at least include a tribute to Jacques because he's the writer of Redwall? I really don't know how these OFUs work, though, so correct me if I'm getting something wrong or suggesting something that is best not to do.

That's how I thought it worked out, was I wrong in assuming that everyone jumped to the same conclusion I did due to my love of meta?

Just like the OFUs themselves are tributes of a sort to the preservation of the author's works and the canon that they have created, so too, I think, would the headmaster/mistress of an OFU be a tribute to that author.

Twice by a PPCer alone. hS did both a mission and an MST of it.

I'm not saying nobody else is allowed to, just that as a rule we have Claimed and Killed Badfic lists so that fics aren't done more than once.

Shouldn't we be teaming down the remaining copies and destroying them, not making new copies? The world is a slightly happier place without it.

I'm sorry, Teddy, but I don't have a copy of it at all...

Now, don't call me crazy for this everyone, but am I the only who will *actually* miss it? Really, I never really figured out why everyone was so scarred of it. I just found it really boring to read. It's just a fictional story, after all. It's not real...

I think whoever put it on webs decided that it wasn't worth the effort? Dunno...
There's a dramatic reading under the Celebrian section of Legendary Badfic on the PPC wiki, though.

Quickly, get the posse together and roast marshmallows!

Sorry, no, I don't have a copy. I'd say "Good luck with that", but I'm not entirely sure it'd be honest. That story was scarring...

I find that the background, while patterned, is too washed-out to really be distracting/tacky/annoying, so it's pretty good.

Very perky, my friend ;p But very good - clean and easy to navigate, in a logical order that will save us the fuss of Link Giving for every newbie. THANK you.

I didn't even see the patterened background until I zoomed out; I rather like it. It could indeed make text hard to read though, if the white backing box were to vanish. It's not really a problem for me but I wonder - if it's a problem for others, could you adjust it so that instead of being a whitewashed, watered-down version of images on a black(ish) background, it's got all those pictures on a paler background (white, preferably)? That might make it less troublesome. Or moreso; I couldn't say.

But overall, excellent job!

...for whom the background only shows up as a teeny-tiny strip on the very very far right?

Is there a link to the background? I wanna see it for real...and I can't do "view background image."

Don't get me wrong, I do like the new design. However, I find myself agreeing with IndeMaat with regards to the background. Not that I don't like it, but it does distract the eye somewhat. That, or I'm naturally easily distracted. Granted, the latter is true.

I like that there are now dates attached to the latest missions reports.

I'm not much a fan of pattern backgrounds. They can distract from the text / make the text harder to read.

One odd thing about the new front page is it seems to be a little harder to access by mobile phone. I just checked it out and everything except the welcome banner was hidden. Of course that could just be my phone.

I think that it will be easier for people who have just found out about the PPC to navigate the wiki. I like it.

Actually, you do raise an interesting point about cannon cross overs as well. I seem to recall discussing this subject a few years back when CSI crossed over with Without a Trace.

I myself have written several crossovers wherein the fandoms themselves share actors or don't go together at first. An example would be my NaNoWriMo for 2009 that had Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, and Sanctuary crossover with one another. All three share common actors- Amanda Tapping, for one (this isn't too bad with SG-1/Atlantis crossovers, since it's the same character) -but there I never had the characters both played by Amanda Tapping (Samantha Carter and Helen Magnus) meet in the story.

As for totally odd crossovers- like, say, Sanctuary and Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010) -I usually focus on a common element within the two 'verses. Oh, so, magic is basically energy/electricity in the SA 'verse? Well, cool, then it's totally plausible that they could crossover, 'cause Nikola Tesla in the Sanctuary 'Verse has those kinds of abilities. Hey, maybe Tesla could be a sorcerer!

That kind of thinking led to this fic of mine, which is rather silly, but if you're at least vaguely familiar with both fandoms- science=magic, Tesla is a vampire who controls electricity -then it works.

Okay, that's not a serious explanation, but it's close.

Basically, any time you're combining two worlds previously believed to be separate, you have to explain why nobody from the one 'verse ever noticed anybody/any events from the other one before, or retcon it so that they did, or hand-wave/lampshade it and ignore it so you can get on with the story. The chances of getting away with one method or another vary depending on how compatible the two verses are and how serious your story is.

Lord of the Rings crossovers, for instance, are hard to pull off because it's a very serious, very well-defined world. However, it is possible if you take advantage of the part where it's supposed to be a mythos of ancient Earth "before the world changed." Therefore, any other continuum set on Earth could conceivably be the same Earth, just in a different time. For instance, these are reincarnation fics, not actually crossovers, but author Scribe shows us how to pull off this concept in The Patient and its sequel, Triumvirate.

Sci-fi verses, of course, have all sorts of opportunities to be crossed. Here are a couple of one-shots that I enjoyed a good deal:

My Brain Slug by Insane Troll Logic (Scrubs x Animorphs)
So Turk just extracted a brain slug from a patient, JD’s being stalked by a red-tailed hawk and Cox has been acting a little different. Not exactly your average day at Sacred Heart.

Ride the Lightning by SabaceanBabe (Battlestar Galactica 2003 x Farscape)
For a moment, a split second in time, Kara couldn’t breathe. xxx Crais had pronounced his final words to Scorpius – indeed to every soul aboard the command carrier that had once been his.

I don't know how well you know any of those continua, but both stories take advantage of the qualities inherent in the 'verses involved to pull off believable, well-written crossovers. And that's how you do it.

~Neshomeh