Any warnings about this fic so that people won't have to read that? Although I think that it has a mary sue.

If you are interested in doing it, then go ahead. But don't forget to bring in the crash dummies, since this is in first-person.

(On a similar note, and to avoid extra threads, and I checked.)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3515426/1/Spirited_away_2_Kohakus_Rescue

's HakuxOC and in second person.. The Sue is really annoying.. And I like this continuum, a lot, I watched it when I was little.

It is really short and very old, though.

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Claimed_Badfic

If it's not there, then you can claim it.

There was also another badfic post right below yours to which you could have appended this.

"And btw, I know this isn't good, so if you don't like it, please just don't review b/c I know it sucks. Thanks."

If you think it sucks, why on earth did you post it?! And since you posted it, why do you think I won't review? Just because you tell me not to?

Somewhere on the wiki is an explanation of "Excuses"...

We now have three consecutive threads about badfic plugs. Please stop posting new threads about badfic! If there are new fics to report, add them in the comments to one of these three threads rather than push old topics off the end of the Board.

Thanking you in advance.

Which continuum is a Mini-Monday from?

Can mini-Trade Marks exist?

I'll take any into the Adoption Centre that aren't adopted here. Aw, ickle cuties yes you are~ *feeds them bacon*

What on earth were they trying to spell?

Aw...mini-Reapers. Can I have Ammy Pond?

(More to the point, I'm morbidly curious as to where these came form...)

Hope you have a good time with the Lunar New Year!

Yaay~!

Oh lord, is this one a doozy. Canon replacement (the author even says so right off the bat), temporal distortions, it... really must be read to be believed. I MST'd it once.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3413220/1/Nights_of_terrors_even_though_its_day_time

Please limit the repeat posts for showing badfic and claiming badfic. Out of the first five threads at the top of this page, only one is not directly badfic related.

While we are an organisation that is dedicated to fanfiction and the sporking of badfic, we also like to have conversations sometimes instead of being lambasting with only threads that are claiming fic or showing off badfic that no one is going to act on besides going 'oh, wow, that is a most terrible fanfiction, my good fellow! I dare say, I believe I feel by blood boiling just from the actof bestowing my vision towards the act of reading it's summary, by jove!"

In short: Please guys, stop with the constant badfic threads when it can go on another thread that's already up at the top, it shoves everything else off and makes it hard to do anything more engaging than going 'MY EYES, MY POOR EYES'.

It got so cold that school had to be cancelled, dispite there being about an inch of snow. It didn't even get above 0 Farenheit on one day. :P

So I can cook eggs on my doorstep from 10 am to 5pm. And don't try to walk, or you'll become a part of the atmosphere.

Snow and cold and wind and sun and cold and snow. We're just on the edge of Snowmageddon.

Dear gods is it hot. Is it ever. I mean JEEZ. It's been pushing 40C for days.

I live on the tenth floor, and the wind's noisy as hell up here >_

I live close to the equator, and this is one of the coldest winters I've experienced.

~X.B.

Here in Chicago, we discovered just how crappy our windows and back door are when snow was being driven between the inside and outside panes of the windows, and just plain into our kitchen through the door, by the blizzard two days ago. We had to put a blanket between the storm door and the main door to stop it. We also noticed that someone who lived here before us actually stuffed newspapers into the top of one of the windows, so I'm sure that's contributing to the draft we get.

Outside, of course, there are mountains of snow in the alley, and they actually closed Lake Shore Drive the night the storm hit, due to whiteout conditions.

For some reason, we had internet all through the storm (I was in the chat), but yesterday through just a few minutes ago it was out. *shakes head at ISP*

~Neshomeh

But of course, I'm in the southern hemisphere. We're all getting odd weather too, though - besides Cyclone Yasi, that is. It's been a very grey, wet, muggy summer. We didn't get any snow last June, either, so in a way I envy you lot, but given the sheer amount that seems to have fallen, that's probably silly. I hope it gets better for you soon.

Chiming in with the chorus of Snow, Slush, and Ice. Snow in drift-piles up to my chest, on average, and rather higher in places, slush in layers halfway up my shins on the side of the road, frozen slush/ice/snow piles to climb over at the end of every sidewalk...

And I'm actually dreading Spring, because at least now I can do the elf thing and keep to the crusts. Come melting time, we'll all be up to our ankles in mud. Also, ice on trees! 'S pretty.

We had to hire someone to chop the icicles off our roof, they were so thick and heavy. (And dripping.) These things were like ten feet long, too. And the snow is forming mountains, basically, especially at the edge of parking lots. I can't really say how much we've got accumulated, since it's all irregular drifts.

Though that's to be expected, seeing as I live in Western Washington and it rarely, if ever, snows over here. Certainly nothing like the East Coast and the Midwest with its Snowmageddon.

It's all melting here.

Oh man where is all this melty snow gonna go?

I like snow, but there is a lot of it and it keeps raining and hailing and sleeting and slush-ing and.. ew.

...and it's colder than a familiar in chickadee form, even if you don't take the wind chill into account.

Not one layer of snow. At all. Maybe only once a year sometimes, but over here it never seems to happen very often.

I hesitate to say 'cold' since 40 to 50 degrees is apparently only considered cold for where I live. Definitely windy, though.

It seems that every time a question like this comes up, I say "it's a matter of opinion" and leave it at that, which I'm tempted to do here: 'Radicals' will always consider those more hesitant to be 'conservatives', and vice-versa. That said, it's an interesting topic. I don't actually know any crazy fans in real life, so I can't answer that one, but I can't say I'd actually mind being considered 'conservative'. Whether we are or not is the question. Hm...

I'd say that everyone who writes halfway decent fanfiction has to respect canon to some degree, otherwise it's blatent Sueism. Respect isn't the same as conservativeness, though; some of the best fanfics I've seen have gone out on quite a long limb, but they're still on the tree, so to speak - it sounds like you're talking about the sort of people who jump right off the canon-tree and go swinging around on jungle vines like Tarzan. It may well be that 'we' (and I'll use that term very broadly) are convservatives, and likely also in the minority, but given that about eighty percent of the fanfic floating around tends to be rubbish, who says it's a bad thing? If conservativeness generally results in good fanfic, I'll take up the banner with pride!

...Though that still doesn't answer your question, does it? I've gone off on a tangent. Really, I just don't know. But thanks for bringing up the topic, because it's fun to think about.

(I have to admit, I had a plotline somewhat like that planned out once. It was even for Star Wars, though I lost interest in the fandom long before it could get off the ground - thank goodness. Maybe this guy will do the same. Maybe not. Here's hoping.)

A darkside Obi-Wan could make for a very impressive goodfic, but I doubt he'd end up a Mary Tsu, and that planned ending point is ridiculously out-of-character. Obi-Wan is just too hands-on to be an Emperor or similar.

Unfortunately, there really is no cure. In the example you gave, the best argument I could come up with is that that version of Obi-Wan isn't Obi-Wan at all, and that people who want to read fiction about Obi-Wan are going to be rather disappointed - but that's a tenuous argument at best.

I encountered one of those this summer. In fact, I dated on of those this summer, until he revealed that he thinks that Eddiekins is the pinnacle of the male persona. And started talking about weddings.

But anyway. Yeah. His was a gigantic OC Twilight fic, with vampires so superpowered that they were ridiculous even for THOSE books.

I gave up on trying to convince him that this "older than the oldest" character of his was not, in fact, a believable character.

Do you mean, for instance, a nameless SW crewman who has no lines and might not even be seen on screen, or one that technically has a role but is so minor that they won't, as people have said below, be missed? If the first, is there any reason you can't just say that the agent was a bit extra in a bad fanfic rather than canon? Not that you need to, by any means, but it would neatly avoid the issue entirely. Just curious.

This is why the PPC often recruits extras that are doomed to die-- they will NEVER show up again in their source material. If there is even the slightest chance of that character showing up again and playing even a small part in a canon work, I'd avoid it. We'd hate to cause a multidimensional paradox with somebody being in the PPC when they should have been in their canonical material.

If that's not the case? If the character is so totally minor and definately will not be mentioned every again Go for it.

KG's statement of 'extras' in the sense that he's thinking of I don't think is precisely right, as we've had actual canons recruited to the PPC who were major characters in their canon, the argument being that recruiting them at the point after their role in canon ends or just right when they are supposed to die makes them eligible since they are not going to contribute to the plot any further on a personal level.

What you're suggesting however, I take it you mean small minor characters from the canon and not a fic? I'd like to argue that this sort of thing can be tricky to explain away, since Star Wars has a universe with multiple levels of canon where even the most unexpected and most initially considered minor characters end up having their own personal and important contribution to make to the history of the canon and become main or secondary characters in their own right.

There's lots of agents like that, sort of "extras" for lack of a better term. My interpretation's been that canons are more the major characters in a given work, while actual natives are technically part of the canon but not actual canon characters, if that made sense? With the "canon" characters being more strongly tied to the 'verse than the extras who nevertheless would canonically exist.

1 Becoming the Creature
First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human.

---

Saphire Ruby McEmeraldsson couldn't believe her eyes. From a humble yet astonishingly beautiful retail worker, suddenly she had been transformed into... a tiger! Yes, a tiger! Woe was her, that such a dreadful fate could befall her! Alas, alack! And where was she? This was not her home. It almost looked like... a stable?

Could it be?

After all these years of wishing she could be with Legolas, the elf she had loved through the pages, could she be in... Middle Earth?!

A horse poked its head over the wall of the next stall and peered down at her. "Hello," it said. "I'm Mister Ed."

/A horse is a horse, of course, of course.../

10 Hogwarts Gets Sex Ed
Hogwarts gets sex education,and Snape's the teacher for the job.What could possibly go wrong- especially when the Gryffindors and Slytherins are supposed to take the class together? These are the days leading to it and the countless challenges.

The Potions classroom was under a gloomier cloud than usual that day, the day Snape would remember all his life as the source of his greatest headache.

The third year boys of Gryffindor and Slytherin were assembled in the dungeon. Aside from the sniggering grins on Crabbe and Goyle, every face betrayed shock and revulsion. Blaise was casting baleful scowls up and down the desks, as if daring anyone to try talking to him today. Neville Longbottom, convinced that only a Boggart could be responsible for this situation, was frantically patrolling the room with his wand. Perhaps the greatest sign of distress, however, was when the eyes of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy met, and the two exchanged a look of sympathy.

When Professor Snape strode into the room, fierce and silent, an uneasy stillness settled over all—except for Neville, who decided he had finally located his boggart, and pointed his wand at Snape, crying, “Riddikulus!”

Snape’s sour expression betrayed no reaction to suddenly wearing Augusta Longbottom’s hat. “I’m going to ignore that,” he said, “only because this day cannot get any worse than it already was.”

As Dean and Seamus pulled Neville down into a seat, Snape flicked his wand at the wall, and the first image appeared, triggering a chorus of groans, feigned retching, and other sounds of disgust. Despite these noises, the tone of his voice never wavered, nor did his eyes leave the wall in the back of the room.

Legolas is so depressed that he runs away and tries to live a fake life. Can his friends find him now that he won't look like himself? I've edited and reposted chapter one so I hope its an improvement :

---

The Elf sprinted down the corridors of PPC HQ. "No more Mary Sues," he told himself over and over. "No more being made to forget the Laws and Customs of the Eldar. A new life for me."
During his stay in FicPsych, he had learned that he was often mobbed by fangirls or fanboys, thrown out of character, and then his memory wiped. He had also learned of devices called contact lenses. They were usually worn to correct vision that was faulty even by Human standards, but sometimes noncorrective lenses were worn to change the eye color. And nobody would recognize an elf with eyes of any color other than gray, right? Just to be on the safe side, though, he had cut his hair really short before bolting.
"Where is the exit?" he muttered to himself, not knowing the PPC . "WHERE IS IT?"
"Legolas?"
Legolas turned to see Boromir--dressed in one of the PPC uniforms, but unmistakable by anyone who had been in the Fellowship. "Boromir? I require your aid."
"What happened to your eyes and hair?"
"I used blue lenses and cut my hair short."

Three minutes later, in the FicPsych staffroom...

"We have a message from Agent Boromir," said Nurse Pablum. He's found Legolas."

"I don't understand it," the coroner said. "You say she was crushed by a..."
"A live tiger, yes," the officer replied. "It looks like it was dropped on her from a great height."
"Did either survive?"
"I'm afraid not."
"What a senseless waste of human and animal life," the coroner said, tagging the fanfiction writer's body.

8 Veela Prince
Harry's life is never simple. So when he walks downstairs one morning to find Malfoy demanding to be his veela mate, what does life have in stock for him this time?


Harry walked down stairs and into the common room still half asleep. He then had what could be called a rude awakening when he saw none other than Draco Malfoy sitting on the couch in front of the fire. Harry was extremely curious as to why no one had thrown him out yet, or how he’d even gotten in here in the first place.

He only saw the Weasley twins, who seemed to have their faces stuck in a very uncomfortable looking split of amusement and mind utter disgust. Harry took this as a sign they knew more about things then the rest of the people who all looked confused.

“I’m guessing by the looks on your faces, you two have something to do with this”

“Why Harry, we’re hurt you would think we would allow him into our most sacred of rooms” George (or was it Fred?) said while still keeping his eyes on Malfoy, though they both now had a small grin on their faces, which made them look even more ridiculous.

“Yeah Harry, why don’t you ask him yourself? He is here for you after all.” The other Weasley twin told him. Harry was now even more confused, and began to reach for his wand; nothing Draco Malfoy could want with him could be anything good.

It was then that Draco seemed to break out of his trance and noticed him. Draco rose off the sofa and walked over to Harry with an air of determination around him, he thankfully stopped a few feet away from them when the twins pulled their wands out and pointed them at him.

“I’ve been waiting for you Harry.” Harry wasn’t sure what disturbed him the most, the fact that he had broken into Gryffindor tower, that he had been able to, that he was here specifically for him, or that he hadn’t called him Potter as he always did.

“I can see that……” Harry struggled for something else to say, but failed horribly.

“They didn’t give you my message” Harry’s skin began to crawl slightly from the way Draco was talking to him. For Merlin’s sake, he wasn’t even leering or drawling!

“No, they didn’t. You might as well tell me to my face, seeing as I’m here.” Now he understood why the twins looked slightly amused, and how they even knew why Draco was here.

“I want to be your mate Harry” It wasn’t only what he said, but also the complete seriousness with which he said it that completely shocked Harry.

“My….My what!?”

“Your mate Potter, I want to be you Veela mate…NOW” He switched to a growling tone, and the last part was obviously an order.

“………” The awkward silence that followed was heavy with confusion, most of which was from Harry, who had a priceless look on his face, at least according to the twins.

“But I…that doesn’t even…..” Harry could imagine the effects of a Confundus charm were similar to this, as he was unable to even reply coherently.

Draco quickly stepped forward, and stood only a foot away from Harry now, who was now very scared, and for some reason couldn’t raise his wand hand, in fact, he couldn’t move his other arm either………

“Well Harry, you heard the man, he wants you to be his Veela mate, and I don’t think it is polite to keep him waiting.” Said one of the twins, who Harry now realized were holding his arms back.

“What!?…But I’m not a Veela!” Harry cried while struggling in their grasps. He began struggling harder when they both began laughing uproarishly, followed by a Draco Malfoy who was now starting to bubble and fizz, and slowly changed from the Slytherin student, into a very amused Dean Thomas, wearing some Slytherin robes.

“Sorry about that Harry, we needed a helper for a new invention of ours, a quick use Polyjuice, unfortunately it doesn’t work as long as we’d like, but we still though we should give it a test run.” Fred (he was almost positive) told him while still laughing.

“Yes, absolutely hilarious, very brilliant you two.” Harry couldn’t decide if he should be angry, or amazed by what they made, so he settled for both.

“C’mon Harry, you know it was great! Plus you fell for it way too easy!” Fred said.

“Yeah Harry, how do you think he would have gotten in here? Or why no one had thrown him out?” George added (or was it the other way aro-oh who cares!)

“And ‘Veela Mate?’ Now that’s just stupid, “Dean said while shedding the Slytherin robes, revealing his regular robes underneath.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t suppose I’ll ever hear the end of this will I?” He asked them hopefully.

“Maybe if you’re a good little ickyHarrykins for us!”

Sighing and shaking his head, he headed for the exit of the common room. “Veela Mate,” he muttered while smacking his forehead.

`Caddy-shack

A little longer then I had planned, but I think it is okay for a first attempt.

#1 Becoming the Creature
First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human.

In the heart of Ithilien, two Rangers lay with their bellies to the ground, peering over the crest of a hillock at the strange orange-and-black striped beast aimlessly pacing the ground beyond.

"What think you, Damrod?" Faramir wondered. "Some creature of the Southrons? A beast of war escaped from its masters, perhaps?"

"I know not, my lord," Damrod whispered. "I have never seen nor heard of its like before. If it is the Enemy's, we should take it before they come seeking it. I'd wager these creatures aren't so common in the South that they would simply let one wander free."

Faramir did not respond immediately.

"My lord? Shall I shoot it?"

"I wonder at the beast, Damrod," Faramir mused. "It has not the manner of an animal accustomed to war. It seems almost timid, though it is handsome. If I had my wish, I should like to study it further, and learn what use the Southrons find for it. I take it to be a sort of large cat. Note the eyes—almost intelligent."

Damrod grunted. "If that is a cat, I should hate to see the mice!"

The men had a quiet chuckle.

"Ah well," Faramir sighed at last. "There will be time for wishes if we survive the storm to come. Take it, Damrod. I shall have to be content with studying a handsome carcass."

~Neshomeh

Here's my attempt. It's been a while since I've read the books, and I'm a bit rusty. Feel free to tear it apart.

#4 A Whole Quidditch Team Plus One!
after harry destroyed voldemort, he and ginny got married and had many kids eight to be exact but what happens when some of voldemorts old followers try to rebuild their fallen lords empire and make another dark lord sorry story is WAY better then summary

The world spun and blurred, and it was all Harry could do to keep his grip on the Portkey. There were flickers of colour in the void, vanishing as soon as he focused on them.

Abruptly, the spinning stopped, and Harry felt his sneakers touch soil. His fingers loosened on the Portkey, and both it and his glasses clattered to the ground. There was a familiar smell of bone-dirt in the air.

He staggered backwards from the false Wand, stomach churning. The Elder Wand had been taken, and replaced by a transfigured Portkey.

He should have known better than to fall for the same trick as in his fourth year. He should have seen it. He should have known, but he'd been too focused on making sure the Wand was safe after Xenopilius had vanished.

Ginny was going to kill him.

All around him, there were pale bone blurs. Figures stalked through the cemetery fog, whispering to one another. Harry struggled to make out their features, but could only make out their hooded, bright-red dress robes.

"Who's there?" he called, raising his wand in one hand. "Lum-"

Someone grabbed him by the wrist. His hand spasmed, and his wand dropped through suddenly nerveless fingers.

"No magic, Potter." his assailant breathed. "The Dark Lord wants to talk with you."

"Harry."

The man's voice was high and cold. It was also completely familiar.

"Oliver?" Harry gasped.

"In the flesh." the one-time Gryffindor replied, moving closer. "Surprised, Harry?"

"But...why?" Harry finally spluttered.

"Quidditch."

"What?"

"Lord Voldemort promised me unrivaled Quidditch skills if I swore loyalty to him. He came to my house the Summer before the Triwizard Tournament,. It was an easy choice. The rest of my team agreed as well once I raised the question. As for Goyle here, we keep him around to fetch lost Quaffles."

Harry stared, his mind in turmoil.

"You can do the same. These dress robes aren't so bad once you get used to them. And with you as Seeker and with the Elder Wand, we'll have a team that will take the World Cup by storm."

Oliver straightened, looking Harry in the face for the first time since his arrival. There was an all-too familiar, maniacal glint in the older man's eyes.

"So. What's it going to be, Harry?"

"A young, neglected, teenager finds herself in her favorite movie/book, and falling in love with a character.. but will she be able to return to her old life if her being there affects the story? And what happens when she meets someone there from Earth? OC"

Alicia batted her eyelashes, and Legolas smiled down at her.

"Alicia," he breathed, "once the Ring is destroyed, let us live together for the rest of our lives."

"Live together?" Alicia said dubiously. She recalled something about Legolas sailing over the sea, so if they lived together for the rest of their lives...wouldn't that screw up the plotline?

Then Legolas leaned in even closer, and Alicia abandoned all thought and leaned in as well, and their lips were about to touch...

"ALICIA?"

Alicia shrieked and whipped around and spotted a dark-haired, bespectacled boy glaring at her.

"Who is this?" demanded Legolas.

Alicia swallowed. "Um...Legolas...meet my boyfriend, Brendan."


~X.B.

"First Fanfic that i've published. OC who gets dropped into ME, but different because she has been tranformed into a tiger. Like in Breaty and the Beast she must make another see past her animal form to return to being human."

It was half past two AM ship-time, and SSV Normandy was making good progress towards Noveria.

Commander Shepard was in her quarters, asleep. The intercom chimed.

"Commander?"

Shepard rolled over in her and rubbed her eyes. "What is it, XO?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "There is a tiger in the cargo bay, sir."

"I must be asleep because I could swear you just said there's a tiger in the cargo bay."

"There is, sir."

"Is this a joke, Prestley? I am not laughing."

"There is a tiger in the cargo bay, Commander."

She sat up and thought. Assuming it was an actual tiger, it would qualify as a rare species specimen under Regulation TA77 and would need to be immediately returned to a nearby space station for processing and transport. The cargo bay would have to be disinfected, and the breach thoroughly investigated.

"Prestley, open the bay doors and flush it out into space."

"Commander?!" Prestley said in disbelief.

"I have a galaxy to save. Flush it out. That is an order." She closed the intercom. The hull of the Normandy trembled imperceptibly.

#9 Those blue eyes
Legolas is so depressed that he runs away and tries to live a fake life. Can his friends find him now that he won't look like himself? I've edited and reposted chapter one so I hope its an improvement

"Legolas!" Gimli yelled, seeing a familiar figure across the cavern.

Crossing the cavern was made more complicated by the line of deep pools that the Deeping Stream ran through. Hesitant to mar the beauty of the chamber, the dwarves had constructed only the fewest, smallest bridges that they could. By the time that Gimli had arrived, Legolas had almost disappeared down one of the long hallways connecting to other caverns.

"Legolas!" Gimli yelled again, and hurried to catch up.

Legolas turned to face him, displaying on of the strangest things Gimli had ever seen. Attached to his face was a clump of wool, covering much of his mouth and chin.

"Who is this Legolas?" Legolas asked in horribly accented Khazad. "I'm... err... Durin."

For half a second, Gimli considered playing along. Then he remembered that he had Responsibilities to his caves and his people.

"Legolas," he said flatly, "You're six feet tall. You're maybe two-thirds as wide as the average dwarf. It's going to take a lot more than a fake beard to disguise yourself."

Since it's BJ tribute time...
I will not attempt to bring Kurda to Lux for skinning.

I will not allow my pet hamster to become a Mossflower Mary-Sue.

I will not sleep for more than 12 hours in a row. (Although, considering, I'd be lucky if I made it to hour #6)


I will not attempt to explain the Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite/Wen the Eternally Surprised to Detritus, especially "I was not born- yesterday!"

1210(?)-I will not shove Blade, the Winchester brothers and/or Buffy in the same room to see who is the biggest badass.

• King Julien and Emperor Ublaz do not need to meet.

Mulligan on 1168: If I inflict Rocks'N'Diamonds-verse amoeba on HQ I will be decomissioned.
-The same goes for World 1.
-Or any Word World.
-Or any Generic Continuum.
-Or anywhere that isn't Rocks'N'Diamonds or Boulder Dash, really.

1203: I will not tell Rabadash where to shove it.
1204: I will not pit Sylvester the Cat against Reepicheep.
1205. I will not spam the PoTC section with "Johnny Depp Orlando Bloom Rock" ad nauseam.
1206. I will not portal Reavers to HQ.

-I will not 'forget' to tell the newbies that they can't leave the theater until halfway through the MSTing.
-I will not take Enoby to the Twilightverse.
-I may not switch characters with their counterparts from Abridged Series.
-Tribbles are not allowed around the PPC cafeteria.
--The cooking would probably kill them.
--Minis are banned around the kitchen for similar reasons.

Anyway, that aside...

1178. Force adepts are not to be worshipped. That's part of what got us into the mess with the last leader.
1179. No accepting bribes from Sues.
1180. While funny the first time, dumping someone who complains about the cold onto Caradhras or the Grinding Ice is not an acceptable way to shut your partner up.

Here we go: http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=241484;article=2165;title=PPC%20Message%20Board

Looking forward to it. I'm working for a few hours, so although I expect it to be slow enough that I can post, try not to run away without me. {= )

~Neshomeh, notoriously slow poster.

Agent Kestrel will be attending, since she has an adoptive kid in the Nursery. Kieran'll probably be there too.

Cali has four kids in there.

Agents Mal (my Bad Slash Tok'ra agent) would probably be there, given the amount of time they spend in the Nursery.

I have at least five kids in there at the moment. ^_^

I've only a couple Nursery kids at present, most of the ones I've set to turn up are more in future, but I've at least one I know about for sure and a Nursery worker.

Hannah saw that everyone was gathering for the cake. "Thank you for talking with me, Ilraen. It was nice to meet you Miss Maeryn and Kaliel. Excuse me, please." Her store of politeness ran out and she didn't wait for a response before joining the group around the table.




Cali picked Helen up, and took Kyle's hand, "Daisy chain!" he said loudly, and Keven grabbed Kyle's hand. Kyle looked like he thought he was much too big to be holding hands, but Cali held firm when he squirmed. Deciding he'd better behave if he wanted any cake, he stopped squirming and followed quietly.

Kyle stopped in mid-reach as the large furry creature glared at him. She looked a bit like Molly, but much bigger, so he decided to back off.

"Aw, you can have it," he said sulkily.

Kevin's plate was dangerously over-full by this point, so Kyle grabbed as many treats as he could reach, and pointed Kevin to the space underneath the table. Kevin carefully placed the plate on the floor and began to push it under the table.



Helen's attention was caught by the tiny black wings fluttering in her face. She dropped the ball and grabbed the nearest wing to try to drag it toward her mouth.

The door creaked open, and three more people entered. The first was William Marshall of the DIC, looking slightly amused. Beside him was Cara Fielding, who looked slightly uncomfortable in her plain black robes and was having trouble not tripping over them. She was carrying a small wrapped box.

Riding piggyback on William was Cara's daughter Stephanie, wearing a miniature Hogwarts robe, a brown plait and a huge smile. She clambered down on seeing Jenni and Henry and bounced over, beaming. "Hi!" After a bemused look at Ilraen and Derik - having missed spotting Nume completely - the two adults followed.

"Hello there." William gave Jenni a smile. "I thought I'd come along and see how things turned out; it's not often we hear about occasions like this."

Cara nodded slightly. "It's nice to see a get-together like this." She passed Stephanie the wrapped box, and the little girl immediately offered it to Jenni.

"We brought a present," Stephanie announced proudly.

Hold on, let me see if I can dig up a few from my favorites list...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1768610/1/Dont_Talk_to_Strangers

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1385000/1/Kindergarten

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2394697/1/Animatrix_Channel_Surfing

Enjoy!

I was finally able to sit in on one of these trope review sessions last night. It was certainly an interesting experience, but some parts left me a little ill at ease. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the process seemed to run along rather smoothly. But, from my point of view, there are two major issues.

CONTEXT - Sometimes the calls for cutting come too fast, resulting in something getting left out of the description. One entry was almost deleted for being 'too much about the badfic' before I pointed out that it was an entry under the Fan Fic tab about legolas by laura that happened to quote the PPC. In the future, either more needs to be done to explain how entries might fit or more people need to follow along on the TV Tropes site itself, rather than just relying on someone quoting the page.

EDITING OF OPINIONS - Neshomeh asked me last night during a discussion about the Fetish Fuel Station Attendant page if opinions were to be considered sacrosanct. While I wouldn't have put it quite like that, I do believe that editing someone else's opinion for reasons of graphicness or unpleasantness is not appropriate. That's censorship. I believe that TV Tropes pages marked with the opinion header or that fall under Your Mileage May Vary should be left alone for that reason.

There you go. My two cents.

Definitely not a fan here, either. Never seen such things myself, but I'm not over there very often. I might have some free time coming up in which I could help, but I'm not sure where to look. Any pointers? Or do you guys have it well in hand?

Some of these "trope examples" linking back to PPC have been terrible and vile and I am not going to reproduce any of it here because it's that bad.

I get the feel that maybe someone has been reading so much badfic it has begun to rub off on them. When you stare long enough into the abyss, and so on.

I think you've put a lot of thought into Whin's character, and that's good, but my concern is that the concept is a bit dark and creepy. So, I'd like to ask, how do you plan to find the fun and humor in your PPC missions?

~Neshomeh

It's certainly an interesting idea, but the execution leaves much to be desired. The author's strange focus on America, dubious understanding of what those passive-right campaigns actually involved, questionable characterization, and sudden switch from pacifism to murder of Death Eaters (!) mean that, while it's readable, it's not my type of story.

That said, it could be worse, and the idea's certainly original enough.

A great loss.
I used to read them, too... I had read every single one until the Sable Quean came out... my father, who only reads Tom Clancy once a year, read Triss to talk about it with me, and my copy was completely ruined by the way he would bend the front cover around to the back...

The Redwall books were a big part of my childhood, I used to read them all the time.

I still have them, though they're a bit the worse for wear after multiple readings.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some books to reread.

Despite me not knowing this Redwall fandom, RIP Mr. Jacques. Hope he knows that he and his series will not be forgotten.

I remember being a fervent fan of the Redwall series back during my middle and high school years. I liked them because they felt like a different kind of fantasy to me, so different from the 'dwarves, elves, and dragons' pattern that I had grown tired of by that time. While I haven't picked up any of series in several years, I would still gladly do so (and probably will now.)

All I can think is that I never got to tell him about that kid who kept talking about "Martian the Warrior". I think he'd have appreciated that.

Admiration for the heroes (and villians) of his books made me the man I am today. Now I'll have to be certain to complete my collection. I think I'm two or three books short.

Brian Jacques, you will be sorely missed.

...As the 'man who wrote those mouse books' (his own words) passes into the great book-signing convention in the sky. He was one of the three people who convinced me to become a writer (along with Roald Dahl and Terry Pratchett) and he will be deeply missed.

He was one of my childhood heroes; probably one of my bigger inspirations as well.
It's gonna be a pity to see him gone, at a (relatively) young age. His books were magnificent, and my family and I are going to miss pre-ordering his books a month in advance.
Damn.

Another of my favourite writers passed away. I just hope he's gone to a better place. As PitViper says, sunny slopes and quiet streams. It's what he deserves.

I'd really like to thank him for inspiring so many people, especially young people. No matter the badfic, no matter the Sues, I'm grateful so many young kids read his stuff. He set lots on a really great path to become writers. Or even... just readers.

Good job, Mr. Jacques.

Unfortunately, he may now begin spinning in his grave...

Gone to sunny slopes and quiet streams, I guess.

Hiya, here's a sonic screwdriver. :P

Welcome to the Board. Please enjoy this Inanimate Spaghetti Rod, just taken out from its can!

Hello and welcome to the board!

Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Here, have this conical hat. It's made from tin foil (to keep the conspiracy theorists out) and duct tape (so it's both waterproof and indestructible)!

Hi! Have some fudge!

Welcome! Have a hat knit from only the softest spun pelts of Cute Animal Friends! Sure to keep you warm in even the coldest soul-crushing badfic!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Have some robes and water, mate.

Have a pet cat, a green rat and a little spat.

Nice to meet you. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

I like your fandoms.

*runs off to squee about people actrually reading her stuff, as she gets ridiculously overexcited on hearing about such*

Welcome a-board, and may your Agents stay relatively sane.

Have a roll of duct tape. Ridiculously useful, and [insert deity] knows I have enough of it.

Welcome, new friend!

Have a fox terrier!

Hola, bienvenida mi amigo. (I just finished my Spanish homework.)

Please abandon your sanity--you won't need it here. Have a free bucket for your deposit.

Oh, and here's a peony and a book on the language of flowers. Enjoy.

-Honu_Wahine

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this silk top hat as a welcoming gift.

Acid toothpaste's here, forms there. Pen only.

...I think he was to a lot of us. Rest in peace, Mr. Jacques.

:'(
...I almost wish I hadn't come back to the Board...

I haven't read Redwall in forever, and I still teared up a little.

Very well done.

...A-and is it true? Is he really...?

(Breaks down in tears)

but I was posting on my LJ about this, and thought your piece was worth linking to. If you'd prefer I'll remove it, but it was a bit of an impulsive thing and I didn't think about it beforehand.

It's on http://cassie5squared.livejournal.com/34441.html if you want to see.

Very well said.

That is, the one right under your introductory post, which also has a link to the BBC article that states his death (at 71) and of what (a heart attack), when (this last Saturday, the 5th.).

There was no need for this thread, as there was already one quite near the top of the board.

Additionally, most of us frown upon new and unnecessary repeat threads because it bumps another thread off the front page, and another into nonexistence.

Behold, a what-the-heck?! Narnia fic.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6751630/1/Before_We_Fall_in_Love

There's some Lucy/Tumnus, but the author makes Peter fall in love with a BEAR in Prince Caspian.

Yes. A bear. And Aslan is somehow fine with it, although of course Peter has to leave. And I can't make sense of Part 3 at all.

You can post a new thing on a previous thread of yours instead of starting a new one. For every new one, and older one gets pushed off the first page, and ends up in obscurity. So, from now on, just recycle your posts okay?

My email address is reillybf at msn dot com. Just replace the 'at' and 'dot' with the appropriate symbols.

One small quibble, though: there are precedents for introducing new mini types. Those are that the person who gets to do that is either a) the writer of the OFU in that continuum, or b) the first person to encounter minis in a mission to that continuum. So, have a ceremonial knife if you want one--make it a magic object with a personality, even--but not an actual mini type.

Also, there is no edit button so that the Boarders of the PPC shall learn to re-read before they post. So it shall be written, so it shall be done!

~Neshomeh, who is actually just messing with you about that last bit (even though it is still a really good habit to get into--the preview button is your friend!).

I cannot find the edit button, so I'll just add that both agents are in the Dept. of Floaters.

I say 'sort of' because, although Araeph has already given me Permission (yay!) I thought that it really would be better if I announced things officially. Here are my agents:

Agent Nicolae ‘Nick’ Janus, DF

Appearence: Agent Janus stands 6’5”, not including his hair, which adds six inches of brilliant orange spikes that may or may not obey the laws of physics. He’s extremely slim, but quite muscular for his weight. Nick wears two small silver earrings in his left ear. Due to the odd chain of events that led him to the PPC, Nick only brought one outfit – a white t-shirt with a red Anarchy symbol, a green hoodie with a flash patch hastily stitched onto one shoulder, and a pair of brilliant yellow cargo pants. He never actually wears anything else, but due to the fractal nature of PPC time and his deliberate inability to hold onto partners for long, nobody really notices.

Background: Agent Janus was born into a modestly disreputable, generously large, and intensely overbearing family of Romanian immigrants in New York. At age eight, he ran away from home and joined a traveling circus (a pretty shady one, too, if their unquestioning welcome of an eight-year-old runaway is anything to go by). Nine years later, he ran away from the circus and joined a small Rastafarian street gang, whose location he has refused to disclose. Six years after that, he ran away from the gang and joined the PPC. His only comment is that they all seemed like good ideas at their respective times.

Personality: From a psychological standpoint, Nick is one of the better adjusted members of the PPC (i.e. borderline schizophrenic as opposed to full-on psychopath). His background has granted him many useful skills, not the least of which being an affinity with many different types of weapons. However, these positive qualities are marred by excessive laziness and an infuriatingly casual attitude towards everything. He would rather crack jokes than kill Sues and would rather play with his mini-Aragogs, practice circus tricks, watch TV, and generally loaf around than do either. However, when he is roused to action, Agent Janus is a force to be reckoned with. This, however, is no small task, and certain superiors may or may not be toying with the idea of pairing him up with someone who could get him to straighten up and fly right.

...

Agent Evonne Andrews, DF

Appearence: Agent Andrews is barely 5’7”, and is painfully aware of it. Her dark brown hair is about shoulder-length and extremely curly. She’s about average weight and build. She has no piercings, tattoos, or other body modifications. She generally wears a suit to missions, much to the amusement of less professional agents.

Background: Agent Andrews comes from a truly wretched crossover fic in which the author, in a frenzy of ‘inspiration’, decided that the story and characters of the Lord of the Rings were similar enough to those of Les Miserables for both storylines to be violently jammed together into a single piece of writing. Evonne was an amalgamation of Eponine Thernardier and Arwen Undomiel, for no other reason than (and I quote) ‘they both have brown hair’. Evonne was rescued by a charitable pair of Disentanglers when the PPC caught wind of the fic. Unfortunately, during her FicPsych retraining, an intern gave her a massive overdose of Logicillin. The psychological personal demanded that she be confined to the psych ward so they could study the effects of the drug, but due to a computer error that was in NO WAY connected to the malign curiosity of certain TOTALLY NONEXISTANT highly positioned persons in the DoP, she was listed as an Agent.

Personality: If a human, or even a lesser Sue, had been injected with the same dose of Logicillin, they would have undergone a complete personality wipe. It is a testament to the sheer mind-bending stupidity of the fic that Agent Andrews has one at all. Even so, Evonne is almost robotic in the commission of her duty. In some ways, she is the perfect Agent. She obeys every rule, protocol, and procedure in the PPC rules to the letter. She completes every assignment she is tasked with as far as she is told, and no further, with little emotion or concern. She’s nigh un-squickable, and never shows a trace of fear. However, her lack of empathy and poor cooperation skills concern some of the higher-ups. (These are COMPLETELY different higher-ups than the ones that DIDN’T make her an Agent, IF said higher-ups were to exist, which they DON’T.) Said nonexistent higher-ups are certainly NOT theorizing that, with the right partner, Evonne might loosen up.

I apologize if these are fairly long for descriptions, but the ideas for these characters have been bubbling through my brain for quite a while, accumulating details and details on top of details...Suffice to say, I actually trimmed a lot to get it down to this.

Anyway...this is how they meet (http://heros-anonymes.livejournal.com/605.html) and this is what I intend to spork first (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1824622/1/Comes_a_Badger_Warrior). If there is anything I have missed, please inform me.

Ciao!