Jan 2011 Archive, part c

Have a chocolate cupcake and a spoon.

Hello! Have some fudge!

Don't feed it Sues and Stus.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Seconded. Third-ed. Fourth-ed. Etc.

...which fandom is this OFU for? Also, are there any other fandoms that desperately need an OFU? I would be more than happy to help co-host one, depending on the fandom.

And on a similar note, don't link to a page that doesn't exist if you're not going to create it. Like, immediately. (Or within a couple of days, I guess.) I've spent some of tonight de-redlinking, 'cause there are a lot of miscellaneous links to things that have no page and probably never will, since for the most part they are unimportant to the PPC population at large.

~Neshomeh

Writing more information on the pages will be able to help newbie understand more when they read them, and they won't be required to the original links just to understand what happened (unless they want to know the exact details of them).

Theres one...about the Fanfiction University...oh god, it's just horrible...I couldn't even get through the first half a dozen paragraphs... v.v

Is it allowed to report the same story over and over until you have marked it for everything it violates in the drop down list? I have been wondering that, because there are several things it could be reported on, I have been picking inappropriate content

Let me know if anything more needs to be done.

I can't find it, just to report the story.

I did quite enjoy reading about these two. :3 The running thing about Boston getting lobbed into stuff looks like it could be highly amusing in future, and Az's bipolar attitude will /definitely/ be highly amusing in future. I like the detail you put in, with Az's nails and whatnot... and one wonders if the duo are taking a (ridiculously adorable) seven-year-old along on the missions? XD

The Wiki says to comment on Araeph's RC list to have my agents added to it, but it won't let me leave a comment without a Live Journal account. Is there some other way to go about securing my RC?

Thank you both so much, for granting Permission and for your positive comments!

Nesh, thanks for pointing out my mistakes, which I will fix as soon as I get out of the shower. My page on the Wiki says I joined in October 2009, so I'll assume that's correct...

Nice job on the writing sample!

The idea of a planet depleted in /silicon/ made me bleed inside, though.

I agree with the others: the story is very good. I like that you took your time building it up, so that even though it's a short piece, it doesn't seem rushed. And, of course, the ending. {= )

There's one line where a couple of mistakes got missed, in case you want to fix them:

"What choice do we have," she asked. "Or nation ... "

should read (with my corrections in red):

"What choice do we have?" she asked. "Our nation ... "

Anyway, your agents seem a good match, and I'll be interested to see what happens to them. Especially when the first Warrior!Sue shows up. ^_^

By the way, how long have you been around, Doc? A year or two?

~Neshomeh

Your agents are plausible, your writing sample is excellent, and I rather liked your Fill The Plothole, too. (I forgot about that! Rereading it was fun.) The only thing I'm unsure about is your target, because I don't know the fandom, but that's not a big deal.

Granted!

I liked it, a lot. Very good and entertaining. Your agents sound pretty neat too.

Wow. I don't usually comment on Permission requests, but your story was great! I like your agents, also. Good luck.

I'm no Permission Giver, but I think your writing style is pretty good and your Agents seem interesting.

Good luck!

I don't know much (or anything at all, really) about the source material, but I really liked this mission. The bit about the special punctuation ammo gave me a good chuckle.

Brent Week's Night Angel trilogy is pretty great, though he gets a few of the weapon descriptions wrong. (Though I'm apparently the only one I know who's noticed that.)

In a similar vein are Steven Brust's Vlad Taltos novels. They can be read one of two ways: You can start with Jhereg, and read them in publication order, or you can start with Taltos and read them in chronological order. The series makes sense either way.

Also recommended if you like fantasy is Jim Butcher's Codex Alera series.

Alternatively, if you're more of a Sci-Fi fan, Spider Robinson is a must, especially his Callahan's Cross-Time Saloon series. Incidentally, if you find The Callahan Touch, Callahan's Legacy, and/or The Free Lunch, will you let me know where yo found them? Those are the only three I've not read yet.

I would recommend The First/Second/Final Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever by Stephen R. Donaldson. It gets pretty dark at places, but it is quite good.

The only problem is that the last book in the Final Chronicles is not yet out.

Some of my favorites have been mentioned already, but here are a couple I haven't seen yet:

1. Anything by Charles de Lint, who writes fantastic urban fantasy short stories and novels. His stuff is interesting because it's all set in the same world, and sometimes different stories share characters, but it's not necessary to read anything in order. It's all one big tapestry you can move over as you will.

2. The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik. It's set during the Napoleonic wars, but with dragons. Each dragon has a captain he imprints on at hatching (similar to Pern, yes, but without the telepathy or any guarantee that the pairing will be a healthy one), and when they are big and well-trained enough, they and their captain and crew fight in Britain's (or whichever country's) Aerial Corps. The dragons are intelligent and can speak, but the level of intelligence varies by breed and individual.

I'll also second the recommendation for the Death Gate Cycle. I'm not a huge fan of the authors' better-known Dragonlance series, but they really did well with DGC. It's much more their own creation; far and away less derivative of the basic D&D scenario, though some familiar races may appear. Well, sort of. You'd have to see for yourself. *g*

~Neshomeh

Gone by Michael Grant, any Neil Gaiman, and the Hunger Games.

For straight fantasy, I usually turn to Garth Nix's Old Kingdom Trilogy. The books (Sabriel, Lirael, and Abhorsen) are a great read. Also, the "Age of Fire" series by E.E. Knight are fantastic. The main characters are dragons, and the world-building is often times breathtaking.

I'm a big reader of what would be considered "urban fantasy", and highly recommend the Kitty Norville series by Carrie Vaughn, as well as the Mercy Thompson and Alpha and Omega series by Patricia Briggs. If you like well-written novels about werewolves, vampires, and how they would interact in our modern-day world, you'll love these.

If you like a little steampunk with your fantasy, read "The Parasol Protectorate" series by Gail Carriger. They're fast paced, a great read, and fun to boot. I mean, how can you not like a vibrant and engaging protagonist whose main weapon is a brass-tipped parasol?

Well, I pretty much recommend anything by Neil Gaiman. Tamora Pierce, too; just make sure you read the different series in order, otherwise it won't make as much sense. (Chronological order of the sets are the Song of the Lioness quartet, The Immortals Quartet, the Protector of the Small quartet, and Daughter of the Lioness, which is just two books. She's also still writing another series in the same universe, the Beka Cooper series, which is sort of a prequel series to the others.

On principle, I also must recommend the Redwall series, the Artemis Fowl series, and Lloyd Alexander's Prydain Chronicles. There's also a book series by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, called the Death Gate Cycle, which is rather good. I'm still in the middle of reading it myself.

You'll notice a pattern here. I practically never read anything that's not fantasy.

Read it. Love it. Worship Lilac (*fangirl squee* *metaphysical Gibbs-slap to self*)
And I also suggest the Hunger Games : D

It's a really awesome but not very well-known series by.. *checks* Gayle Greeno. The first book, and admittedly the only one I have read so far, although the other two are waiting for me at home, is called Finders Seekers. It's kind of sci-fi disguised as fantasy, a bit like Dragonriders of Pern.

And it has giant telepathic cats!

To Labranum and Techo-Dan:

I haven't read anything on either of your lists. They certainly look interesting though. Thanks!

Guvnor of Space

Full of swears and horrifying acts of violence, but if you read Stephen King that shouldn't bother you. I don't think I can adequately describe why I like his stuff, but he's my current favourite.

I like pretty much anything written by Anne McCaffrey. Her Pern series is always a good bet and there are, I'm pretty sure, more than thirty books in that one series alone, so it will keep you busy for a while.

I like Xanth novels by Pierce Anthony. They have a sort of plot thread that tenuously winds through all of them, but the way they are written really does not require you to read them in order.

I liked the first few novels in the A Wizard In Rhyme series by Christopher Stasheff, but it jumps the shark after about the 4th or 5th one.

There is the Han Solo Trilogy and the Corellian Trilogy and the X-Wing Series that are all very good in Star Wars without really requiring you to invest heavily in the Extended Universe.

Oh! I can't believe I didn't think to mention this one sooner. Wen Spencer. Amazing writer. I read her Ukiah Oregon series (Hmm, I don't think I can sum this one up quickly other than AWESOME!) and instantly fell in love. She has two other series one starts with Tinker (urban fantasy with Elves, mechanics, and much more!) and and the other one starts with A Brother's Price (kind of dystopian future). I haven't the last two, but I've heard enough discussion of them and seen enough excerpts to know that they will also be very good when I do get around to them.

I liked Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan series. I haven't had time to read them lately. They are too long to read in a day or two with my kids running around distracting me. They are wonderfully complicated books.

The Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Very good and after you read them you can watch the Granada TV series of them. :)

Artemis Fowl is good, up until the last book.

Then there are stand-alones and classics. Watership Down; The Children of The New Forest; (not a stand alone, but I've never read the rest)--A Wrinkle in Time; The Ear, The Eye and The Arm (One of my all time favorites); The Iceberg Hermit; Carry on Mr. Bowditch

Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson is a great read - Douglas Adams meets William Gibson. The rest of Stephenson's stuff is also quite good, if you're a math nerd.

Now that I've already mentioned him, William Gibson does good stuff. It's a lot more heavy philosophy than Stephenson's more approachable works.

Yet another author I really enjoy is Jim Butcher - the Dresden Files are great noir urban fantasy.

As far as sci-fi goes, Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars, Green Mars, and Blue Mars are rather epic. Stephenson also wrote some sci-fi, The Diamond Age is definitely worth reading. Louis McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan Saga is also rather awesome, and available for free (legally!) here.

On the fantastic side, I'm a fan of Mercedes Lackey. She can be hit or miss at times, but she writes incredible characters. I'd suggest staying away from the Phoenix series, as they're on the miss side of the picture.

I suddenly understand what pins and needles means. Aaah!

This just strengthens my opinion that a goodfic could very well have been a canon material or installment and nobody would have complained about it.

In the case of AU, my guideline is that if it had been released INSTEAD of the canon, the SAME FANS or the SAME FANDOM would have sprung up.

...Simply wonderful. This is what fanfic, to me, is about. Making one little tweak to the canon environment or giving the characters a new problem to face, and have them interact and deal with it. And this appears to be an excellent example of it.

Glad to see someone in the Pit still has their talent about them, and that their's still some good fic circulating in addition to some of the AWFUL Tiva het I've been reading. *sigh*

Seems it's been taken down. Not a huge surprise, but a bit of a shame, really.

This could be our best chance to discover the embryological and fetal development of the Mary-Sue and the early effects of the Plotbunny!

Naruto is practically infamous for having overpowered characters with over-the-top angsty pasts--I think I described it once as being something like a picture of a rape-murder scene painted in bright blocks of primary colors--but canon sues are rare (ymmv, of course) due to the time that is given to develop each character and make them sympathetic.

That said, Ayame is waaaaay past what would be appropriate, even for Naruto canon. And, as Neshomeh said, deities aren't a big part of Naruto canon anyway; having a character who is one (or is related to one) would be out of place.

If a story gets written and somebody wants to PPC it, I'd be glad to act as canon-consultant for the Naruto universe. ^^

This fic is wirtten by a Lebanese guy/girl. Would it be write to spork fics from people who don't speak English as first language? (I don't mean it's not a Sue, but, for example, would grammar and spelling mistakes be major charges if we take this fact into account?)

You were not kidding. This is going to be one messed-up fic, isn't it. Generally, any fic with a first chapter that does nothing but painstakingly detail the original character the author is introducing screams 'SUE', but this one...Ugh. Allow me to highlight the most erroneous tip-offs;

1. Eyes: as storm shadow's eyes but a feminization style and larger.

2. Height: 1 m and 55 cm

3. Mass: 45 kg

(Note: According to the Heart, Lung, and Blood Association, that's a body mass index of 18, or 'dangerously underweight'. This say anything to you?)

4. her real element is ice but she controls all the elements cause she is the goddess of elemental powers.

5. Ayame is sixteen years old. She has a bloody and sad past. She has a super natural power, and had a ying seal on her right arm, she had it since she was born or u can say since her mother was pregnant of her and her twin brothers and sister.

It isn't finished, and I haven't gotten Permission yet, but can I volunteer to take this? I don't know much about GI Joe or Naruto, but I do know a thing or two about good writing, and this is not it...

It goes without saying that this is too early to call - you can't spork an entry with no narrative - but like most of us, I'm quite wary of that bio.

I'll be watching quietly; there's no point that I can make via review that Neshomeh hasn't already brought up in a more concise fashion. Here's hoping this author is willing to pay attention to the proffered words of advice...

before I kill someone… please stop me x((

This character screams Sue as much as a girl in the water would scream shark when she saw one.

“Eyes: as storm shadow's eyes but a feminization style and larger. It's color as her hair's color but reddish and darker.”
I have yet to meet or see a woman, who have dark chestnut brown eyes, with a bit of red in them.

“She has a bloody and sad past.”
Well that sounds typical sueisshh (almost breaks neck trying to say the word)

There might as well be put some agents on this story, before it even begins.

Like the others, I would agree to at least watch this one. Although the way the words are in this fic sorta makes me cringe, however...

"Element: her real element is ice but she controls all the elements cause she is the goddess of elemental powers."

Sue. Sue. Sue.

And I want to know how twins can be elder or younger. I mean, there is a delay of only seconds. Not enough to say "s/he's older than the other one(s)".

I saw also SMS-like abbreviations and wrong grammar. This one is probably going to become the first fic recognized as badfic before even being written.

I've left a review with pointers, giving them the benefit of the doubt, but that profile just screams Sue. And it should definitely be in Crossovers, since half the names seem to be borrowed from Naruto.

~Neshomeh

Agent Quen, secretary to the Department of Personnel.

Sorry. You might see if you can borrow her from Araeph for a cameo, though.

~Neshomeh

also for my permission request, I want to ask for permision to use the concept of Mary Sue Factory, and, just in case, to use a shadow and give it to understand that it may be Mysterious Somebody.

Ken Trow (an anagram of network), Trace Ryes (an anagram of secretary), Patch, Crash, Listener...?
I hope that this was helpful.

I can't see any problems with it, and I like the idea about glitches.

"Yes Marquis Calrissian."

Just put it on the Claimed Badfic list on the wiki so nobody else takes it in the meantime. You can claim fics before getting Permission.

For everyone's information, we do sometimes perform housekeeping on those lists, so if something sits there long enough (a year or more, especially if the claimer hasn't been active in that time), it may be taken off the Claimed list and put on the Unclaimed list. If the link to the fic is broken, though, it will be removed entirely, since no one can spork a fic that's been deleted. So, if you're going to do it, don't wait that long. {= )

~Neshomeh

...that you add it to the Claimed Badfic list, because many people without permission request want to keep an specific fic for themselves, and don't want to worry about it being sporked by someone else. And no oldbie has told it was wrong, so we keep adding.
(If it's not ok, tell me so I can remove the ones I've claimed)

...I don't really like to pass judgement on a fi...il I've read it myself. From what you've told me, it sounds like there's enough citrus in that fic to set up a lemonade stand, if that's your idea of a good time, but still seeing it would be nice. I mean, something can be distasteful, and you may not like it, but if it's written well (and yes, I have seen some well-written rapefic, although I still didn't like it) then we should really (in my opinion, anyway) leave it be.

As for the moral quandary...Well, in my humble opinion, you're asking yourself the wrong question. It isn't 'Should I report this or not', it's 'Should I put this in Unclaimed Badfic, or in Claimed with my name on it?' The answer to that, I belive, isn't in a popular vote, but in your own commitment to the PPC. Is, for example, this plan a defined goal for you, you're going to do x, y, and z and you'll have permission and a pair of agents ready to go, or is it one of those sort of nebulous, i'll-do-it-sometime sort of plan? Answer that, and I think you'll have your answer.

Well, that's my two paragraphs worth of cents. Maybe all that helped, maybe it just confuses you more. Either way, my work is done here.

I don't think you have to hold a vote to get it assigned. All you would have to do is put it on the wiki in the Unclaimed badfic section. If you wish to hold onto it, by all means, go ahead. I myself have a stockpile of badfic to fall back on (mostly from old Fanfic quests).

Guess who just recently got into Criminal Minds and was looking for goodfic? That's right: ME. Ohohoho, you have just made my boring afternoon so much better by sharing these.

I never thought to heck out the section for any badifc. I have only played 5, but I loved it dearly. I would consider this a definite implausible crossover, as most of the Ace Combat games are an AU of a near earth planet themselves, though I am sure no magic was ever mentioned.

I am curious, why is it a punishment for your agents? Not that it isn't a fun idea, I as well have a couple doozy fics planned for my agents.

...Ah, that's the other reason your name is ringing little gongs in my head. Jacer goes to both Jace, a Stu in my sister's guilty pleasure novels, City of Ash and their ilk, and Jacer + Narnia + Christianity rings bells of Agent Jaster, who used to hang around here, and whose C. S. Lewis icon reminds me a great deal of 6). I'll have to look it up at some point.

You seem nice, and I look forward to seeing you around here, and hopefully the IRC as well!

A few things, though:
We don't do Bible fic here-- when it was discovered, there was something of a shockwave, and the general decision was No, we don't even want to Go There. I dunno if opinion has changed since then, but... I'm still in the place where Bible fic is just so much Do Not Want.
Secondly, um. On the slash thing. I would love to discuss this with you, but here does not seem like a good place. There are links and things that kind of explain my position on slash, and... well, non-heterosexuality in general, as a bisexual Christian.
Thirdly: Coraline! You're a Neil Gaiman fan? Have you read his other stuff-- or his blog? Are you in any other of his fandoms?

At any rate! Have a spork and a towel, two things a PPCer should never be without! See you around!

Hey there! I still think of myself as a newbie too, considering I almost never post, but...*waves*
Here, have a lemon square and a funny-looking train ticket! If you can guess where I stole the train ticket from, you can have a pony! (Hint: It wasn't San Francisco :D )

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

and may force be with you... always

Have some robes!

Besides, if you are really thinking about writing ppc missions, then just be careful out there- you might never know what you'll encounter out there in this verse.

...new fellow with a really long introduction!

I don't think anyone will kill you unless you speak your mind in a harshly way; after all we're a group of people (people tend to never think exactly the same about a same topic)from different parts of the world, but anyway we can share opinions without killing each other.
So, ok of moral speech. Here you have a bobble head Lewis which works better if you put it in front of a window.

Hi Jacer! Have some fudge!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Yay, you referenced AVPM! And, out if curiosity, what is Bible fanfiction like? I've often wondered, but been too afraid to look.
Anyway, have a funny hat, a pet cat and a squeaky rubber rat.

Welcome, new friend! Have a stodgy old narrator with a British accent. He's a joy to listen to, even when he's just describing the things around him. Enjoy!

Morbid curiosity forces me to ask what your problem is with slash. I can understand thinking badslash is wrong, because it is, but all slash? Even if it's not canon, there are some surprisingly good slash stories out there that stay within the realm of both possibility and plausibility.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution--which you already read). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Greetings, newbie! Have some Red Vines!

Nice to meet you. Have a cheese cracker.

It's been too long since I greeted a newbie, Welcome, Jacer!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object of much shininess. It's nice to meet you.

...Also, you like AVPM? Totally awesome! :D Hardly anyone I know likes it much.

It is being hand-knitted with zig-zag stripes of alternating colors, none of which have absolutely any bearing on eachother whatsoever. The colors are all neon, and predominantly blue. It is roughly three feet too long for you. No matter how tall you are or will grow, it is and will still be three feet to long for you.

If you are refusing this gift, I am paying as many people as I can afford to be hunting you down and doing horrible things to your pets. If you do not have pets, I will buy and send you pets and pay people to do horrible things to them. THIS IS HOW WE ARE DOING THINGS IN PPC. IN SOVIET INTERNETS, LOLCAT STICK CAPTION UP YOU...

Wait, what? Oh, I'm sorry, I think I may have just had an episode. That...happens here. So yeah...

Welcome to the PPC, a totally chill group of totally non-tyrannical non-communist dudes and lady-dudes. In fact, apart from previously afformentioned gift-giving, I'm fairly sure we don't have any economy whatsoever. Or any government, for that matter, unless you count the Oldbies, and they're not really much for tyranny so far as I've seen. I mean, honestly, Russians? What Russians? Ain't nobody here but us French-Americans. Weeell, I'm French-American, anyway. I really have to also say 'and us other Americans', too. And us Brits and Aussies. And, all us other Europeans, Asians, Africans, South Americans, and Mexicans. and every other group I forgot to mention because I'm really lazy. Oh, yeah, and all those 'Canadians', too.

(NOTE: I don't believe in Canada, for reasons to be explained at a later, entirely hypothetical date. Hopefully, said hypothetical date is none too soon.)

The point being. The point being what? Oh, I remember. The point being, no Russians. To my knowledge. Unless, of course, Sergio Turbo...Well, it sounds a bit Russian, sort of, a little...Umm...

(NOTE X2: To Sergio Turbo and all other hypothetical, plausible Russians - If you are reading any of this, PLEASE DISREGARD ANYTHING I HAVE EVER SAID, EVER. Thank you.)

The point being...The point being...Oh, yes. The point being, don't even bother cutting down your posts. Don't even bother. Because here at the PPC, we will outramble, outrant, and outruminate you into the ground. You cannot outlast us, and WE WILL DEFEAT YOU. Bon nuit, et viva le Francais!

PS. You might want to look up the definiton of slash. Just sayin', you just really should know what you're arguing for or against. Most of the other stuff we all agree with far as I know, but yah might recieve some hatin' over that lil' tidbit of news. Just saying. Peace, yo.

Also, since you've had the misfortune to remind me that we used to give out bumper stickers around here, here you go! *sticks you with a sticker that says "Love me, love my beta."*

I'm not the Official Bumper Sticker Giver or the Deputy Bumper Sticker Giver, by the way. Those people faded away ages ago. I'm just slightly less ancient than they are, and too stubborn to leave, that's all. ^^;

I'd like to take a moment and be happy that there's someone else in the world who's heard of the BBC (Wonderworks, wasn't it?) Narnia movies. Sometimes I think my brother and I are the only ones. ^^

Enjoy the deluge of presents you shall shortly receive!

~Neshomeh

Have a hat knit from only the softest pelts of Cute Animal Friends! Sure to keep you warm in the coldest, darkest, soul-crunchingest badness of badfic!

Don't worry. We don't turn people away because they're twihards... but she may understand when she gets here and sees the wiki. >_>

Here, have an Adamantium combat knife, guaranteed to gut most sues and cut almost all types of cake!

Now, onto your questions.

Well, all the gifts you receive, you can assume they are given to your agents should you get permission and use them however you will.

2). It is good you are a SPaG (SPelling and Grammar) nut, those are welcomed here.

10) Absolutely no problem with having a Twihard among us, I myself am a recovering Twilight add- I mean fan. We don't have many agents who will do Twilight, so it would be helpful.

As for the number of agents, you can have as many as you want (within reason), though only having two or three to a team. you can have other teams if you wish, though too many can be too cumbersome.

As for them being sues, have you put them through one of the litmus tests? those can help you fix many characters, it did for mine.

And don't feel afraid to make long posts, especially if it is introducing yourself.

FRYING PAN. I suddenly have the urge to arm an agent with it...

Plushies! Note to self: look up Bioshock 2.

FOOD. FOOD. TASTY. SUGAR. NOM NOM NOM.

I've never heard of this universe before, so if you don't mind, could you enlighten me a bit. Wouldn't mind a link to their wiki page, if you happen to have one...

I find that most people either a) have never heard of us, or b) think we're mean because they don't know us and believe we like to hurt innocent little authors' feelings for fun (or C, which is A followed by B). So, I can't really see a radio show about us going over very well with random high schoolers.

What exactly did you have in mind, though? I'm curious.

~Neshomeh

As for Agent Quen, normally I'd give permission right away, but in this case, I didn't actually create the character. Agent Quen really belongs to NenyaQuende, who is no longer active. So, to make extra sure Quen's written well, if you would like to use Quen, please send me a first draft of your piece before you post it. (My e-mail is above.)

If you would like to know more about Quen's personality, you can check out her now-defunct livejournal here. Also, you can read the missions where I've written about her:

http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/1208.html
http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/2620.html
http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/3499.html
http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/4928.html
http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/6708.html
http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/7408.html

Hope that helps, and shoot me an e-mail if you have any other questions. Good luck!

~Araeph

It'd probably be easier, actually, given that writing someone else's character means constantly checking oneself to make sure they stay in character. Your new character doesn't have to be frightening, either - it doesn't even have to be complex. You could make a joke out of it; have fun describing the secretary as being so unremarkable as to almost fade into the wall, or something like that. Throwaway characters are easy because you don't have to invest much in them.

Araeph may give you permission to borrow Quen anyway, but I think you're better off making your own.

Hello and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!

Have some fudge!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have a complimentary wire clothes hangar and a towel (never forget your towel). Enjoy your stay!

PS in case someone hasn't already said it: Sanity is optional only.

^_^

and may the force be with you... always

Are you interested in reading PPC fics or just to chat with others? Either way's fine by me. Just be careful around here, because some things are more than meets the eye.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Have a pet cat, a fabulous hat, and a smallish yellow rat.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Please enjoy your stay! Ok, let's go on to THE MOST IMPORTANT TOPIC: PRESENTS! *face twitches as she fights her inner fangirl* I coming back in a while, just hold on *wall-banging sounds, then screams that sound far away* Stay in the depths of my mind!
Hello, I'm back. Here you have a snowboard which works better in sand. Don't EVER try to use it on snow.

Have a scarf. It is hand-knitted out of electric blue yak wool. By the way, have you met my electric blue yak? His name is George. Say hello, George.

...

George is making this sort of noise like nnnnnnnnn! That's a good thing...I think...

...

Okay, enough about George. Welcome aboard the Good Ship PPC, matey. I haven't heard of Fire Emblem or Dragon Quest, what are they about? Besides the obvious, I mean.

Well, since you seem to have a similar taste in stories to myself, I think I'll be watching your future career with interest...Nayztameetjoo, Birdy. Catcha later.

Welcome! Here, have a boat! *hands boat*

Welcome to ze PPC, ve haff vays of makink you spork!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. What fandoms other than your aforementioned video games do you like?

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this stainless steel monogrammed hip flask as a welcoming gift.

Welcome, new friend! Have a thief! He's excellent for picking the locks on castle doors, opening treasure chests, and swiping stuff from enemy soldiers in the heat of battle.

Have a hat knit from only the softest spun pelts of Cute Animal Friends! Sure to keep you warm in soul-crushing cold of badfic.

There is no shortage of criticism to be had here. Nope.

I'm going to presume that since you're clever and smart and all sorts of wondrous things and that since you have already wandered into the chatroom that you know where the wiki is.

Now you know.

Hello, Newbie! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Light-hearted is good. Welcome.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to PPC, hope you have a good time. Have a bag. It's got water and robes.

Also a Nintendo customer, although I've never played anything from the Metroid or Zelda series.

Nice t'meet ya. Have a letter opener, cunningly disguised as a letter opener. :P

Enjoy your stay and have fun! Here you have a Nintendo 8-bit and a pack of Cartridges of Nostalgia, featuring 500 games from Mario Bros to Galaga

Welcome, new friend!

Have the Morph Ball!
♪fanfare♪
Just...careful of your spine when you curl up. Not all of us were trained by the Chozo, after all!

Have a hat to go with the scarf you got from the tree man. It is knit from only the softest and warmest spun pelts of those Cute Animal Friends that follow Mary Sues around. It is sure to keep your ears toasty in the soul-crushing clammy coldness of badfic.

Metroid, Zelda, final Fantasy... sounds like my kind of person. You may take an interest in missions of mine-- I do those fandoms for the DMS: Video Games division. :D

Have some fudge!

Hmm, a Potter and Nintendo fan. I feel that we shall get along very well, my friend.
Have a pet cat, a rainbow hat and an anthropomorphic rat. Use them wisely.

*pokes with stick*

Notes: No discernable reaction

Alright, you're clean.

Welcome to the Board, my newfound friend. I'm fairly sure you'll like it here, and absolutely positive that I'll like having you here...heh heh heh...

The oldbies say I have to stop being the first one to say hello to newbies because I scare them, but honestly, do I scare you? Answer honestly, now. DO I SCARE YOU? HUH? DO I?

Anyway...

There is some stuff here that you must read, but I personally am FAR too lazy to post it all here. Instead, have a scarf. I handknitted out of yak wool, so it is therefore made warmly but badly. It is electric blue, but don't worry, I didn't use any dye. Just in case...you're allergic...or something...

I'm going to shut up now, before this gets really awkward. Ciao!

Don't feed it Sueish Honey.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

...You don't have to go through the whole Permission thing again, but if you really want to do your month a second time, I don't think anybody's going to stop you.

With that said, hello! It should be nice to have you back. I'm not entirely sure how things are as opposed to how you left them - approximately how long ago did you leave? Whenever it was, the only thing I can just about guarantee is that there are more people here now than before.

P.S. I've been giving out electric-blue hand-knitted yak-wool scarves to the past few newbies, so you're getting one too.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

(These might help you, and there are a lot of great missions out there to read!)

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs!

Have a pet cat, a tinfoil hat and an evil bat.

Nice to see you've finally posted here! Have some water and robes!

Any fandoms that you're into?

Anyway, so yeah. Greetings!

Because if you are, you should probably introduce yourself first. As well as reading this (http://twistedskein.webs.com/PPCHome/Constitution.htm). And also, I think (but am not sure) you need Permission (http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission) if you're going to write using PPC-based characters. There's also some other stuff that you should read too, but as I am FAR too lazy to give you lynx and such, I'll just let some oldbie do it. (Also, I'm not 100% sure what said stuff is, and I'm trying to avoid randomly giving you lots and lots of unnecessary stuff.)

If you're not actually new, and I'm just being completely boneheaded about this whole affair, please accept my sincere apologies. I haven't seen you before, and I've been here for a while (well, lurking for a while. I've actually only been officially 'here' for less than a month, so, whatever) so I'm just assuming you're new.

Weeell, I'm talking FAR too much, so...Ciao!

Giving them a read now.

Any idea why you went for a military-esque naming scheme? I'm not criticizing, just curious.

...seems to think that a "MarySue" is defined as "an intentional self-insert."

Ugh.

Narnian Sue, 2006. A very bad year. Too bad we can't grind them up with the grapes - they'd poison it.

"Princess Philyra Nerina Anaxandra Pagos Basilikos (A/N: It's pronounced Phil-ee-ra, Ner-ee-na, Anaxandra is pronounced like Alexandra, except with an "n" instead of an "l", Pa-gos, and Ba-sill-ee-kos)"

The poor Sue has an author's note as part of her name. I actually kinda feel sorry for her for that.

...well, first off, welcome.
But, uh, back to my original thought! Out of curiosity, why did you change your selected handle mid-thread? That's bound to confuse people, and not just people like me who've been out of the loop a bit too long.

I deduce that you are a fairly lazy person. You should prepare to fit right in. (With me, in any case)

Or, considering that I'm extremely late in this little hello, you should have prepared to have been fitted in by now.

Or something.

SO YEAH. Welcome to the club, Mr. Button. Have a scarf. It's hand knitted out of electric blue yak wool and it's about three feet too long for you. Enjoy it, and hopefully being here. Ciao!

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Here, have a DRAMATIC LONGCOAT! They're often found in anime continuums. Even if there's no wind, the DRAMATIC LONGCOAT will flutter DRAMATICALLY!

Have a special orange.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Welcome, new friend! Have a Benjamin Button. It starts out old and dirty, but gets newer and shinier with age. Then it turns into unmolded plastic.

Here, have a conical hat! It's made from tin foil and duct tape. It keeps the conspiracy theorists out.

made out of two axes strapped together with USB cables.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw your own BBQ parties!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus

Welcome to the PPC! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, useful for distracting people and Sues!

Have a pet cat, a top hat and a doormat.

How did you stumble into the PPC here, anyway?

Please enjoy this Floating Skull™. It gives your bedroom an air of evilness and can be also used to open cans thanks to its hidden can opener. Regretfully, the can opener is so well hidden that I don't know where it is.

Have this polka-dotted rock.

Have some fudge!

Have a toothbrush and tube of acid toothpaste! (Best used on Sues only.)

HELLO Welcome to the Board. Here, have a small wooden elephant, a green jelly bean, and...uh...this interesting piece of lint!
(This is Katie, in case you couldn't tell xD)