Oct 2010 Archive, part b

Have a special edition sonic screwdriver with a bag of optional extensions and separate bag of multi-flavored jelly babies!

Sorry I'm a day late, but happy birthday!

Happy birthday anyway! Here have a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles!

(Wait until you turn twenty... or worse, wait until the second digit stops being the least bit significant.)

*hands birthday chocolate* ^_^

Have a Pie of Rassilon, just don't ask how I got the filling.

Congratulations on your 18th Birthday!

Who knows? You might never know when you will feel different: Birthdays are a funny thing, you know.

Your birthday present is a sack of pebbles, yur very own customised sling to throw them with, and a basket of delicious Bleeprin-berries.

Happy birthday to you~
We'll make cakes out of Sue~
With sprinkles and icing~
And glitter in, too!

Hey, in the Chinese style you're technically 19!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ and parties! And drive your friends there! And drink (not too much, as you will have to drive them back)! And vote on the next elections! And do all of that without asking anyone for permission! YAY!

♪ This is your birthday song
It's not very long! ♪

Congratulations

And I know the feeling. I'm nineteen now...and I still feel 17. :-P

(Then again, do I *want* to feel like a boring old fogey?)

Heh. I'm twenty-four, and I still don't feel any different. So don't hold your breath.

Anyway, enjoy your day!

Makes sense that you feel no different. The mutations don't really start till you hit twenty.

Funny that. Do you feel birthday-y?

Welcome to officially being an adult (if you live in the US).

I don't know about bookverse but in musicalverse Shiz does not have a uniform.

"Muzak" should probably be capitalized. Other than that, looking good.

The Dream - Rated T - Silent Hill x Twilight. Seriously.
Summary: Little Bella is having nightmare's about a place called Silent hill, so she goes to live with the cullens as her mum has gone to solve the nightmares. What Will she have to sacrifice? and Who is Who? Characters Edward & Bella,
Excerpt: "Witch, Rose is a witch everybody out of the building now Rose stay." Everybody started to go out of the classroom and I was locked in. Then the scene changed I was tied up.

The Colonel's Daughter Part One - Rated M
Summary: Set In MGS3 Times. Also Crossed Over With WWE :P Hope You Like It! :P Please Read And Review! Please Not Ocelot And Volgin Are NOT Together... It Just Doesnt Have My Characters Name In It Hehe :P x
Excerpt: I came out of the toilets, by the torture room, when a sliding door opened and three men with guns and knives grabbed my from behind and put a knife to my throat. "So... Whom do we have here then?" said what seemed to be the leader of the group. "Answer him, slut!" the man who held me captive demanded, "I'm Shiv!" "Oh…" the leader said as my capturers grip tightened on me "Lookie here boys… looks like we have the Colonels Daughter!"

I've recently dug up some of my older works, edited them slightly (I think you'll be able to guess what's been edited) and have been thinking of putting them online in preparation for becoming an Agent. Only problem is, where should I put them? Technically a few of these could be considered fanart so perhaps fanfiction.net but for other things such as original works where should I publish them?

I'm pretty sure you don't want me to just post these fairly long stories on a topic but would rather I gave you a link, so any suggestions for a good site to put them?

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind, and I apologize I didn't realize that posting a new topic got rid of the oldest topic. As for the rant part, I had intended for it to be a rant but it didn't turn out quite right...

Oh well, I shall keep this new information in mind and make really long posts next time instead of a few bit sized ones. Yes I do like mushrooms, and why would I hate the Inheritance Cycle? I don't LOVE it but I do like it, so yes I have heard of Angela.

Since every new thread pushes an old thread off the edge of the page, it's generally appreciated if you keep things all on the same one, just to save space. And as an aside, these are all things you could put in your introductory thread-- that's kinda the purpose of an introduction.

Also, rant generally tends to mean angry vent... just internet-wide, it's more of an anger-related term.

Finally-- ...Mushrooms? Do you like mushrooms?

Rape = love. Uh-huh. That, that's one of my berserk buttons, right there. What, what, what could possibly make anyone think that this... travesty is an expression of love? Yeesh...

That fic was evil. Not just bad, evil. It should have been titled 'How to make Christians cry in one easy lesson'. Even the few fragments of it that you put in your mission are enough to make anyone sick. How do you stand this stuff, Miah? I can't imagine you can write missions about stuff like this without having to take regular breaks to keep from throwing up. I sure couldn't.

Also, how the hell does this thing get off calling itself a Sherlock Holmes fic? There's not a single moment of brilliant (or even average) detecting going on in there. What gives? This thing belongs on an original fiction site. Well, it doesn't really belong anywhere, but you catch my drift. A fic where priest!Holmes solves a crime in his parish, now that could have been a good fic.

Good to see that Unger is getting to be semi-literate. Should make missions a lot easier for him. Also, it was neat to see him take charge. It's usually Kelok who heads the operation (not that that's a bad thing, mind you.) ;) Kid's really growing up.

I'm also glad you saved David (not Kelok, the other one). Poor kid really didn't deserve to die, especially not for an utterly inane reason like that.

Finally, on a totally unrelated note, the way you described the ME-cube make me think back to some childhood toys. Ahhh, memories... *drifts off*

(I hope you'll forgive my not posting this sooner. Been incredibly busy studying lately, simply haven't had time to sit down and read.)

Unger's really growing up, isn't he? And hey, he's only half-illiterate now!

I wonder if D&D characters outside their home continuum still gain levels... It wouldn't be very noticeable for Unger because barbarians just get generally better at physical skills, as Unger is doing, but it'd be very noticeable for a magic-user.

Unfortunately D&D magic-users are too strong to ever become PPC agents after the first few levels, but I just skimmed the zero-through-second-level section of the spell list and there are some things there with real potential... I mean, haven't you ever wanted to cast "Grease" on that oh-so-graceful, mysteriously-always-perfect Mary Sue?

I salute your ability to sit through that piece of work. What bits you put in here were enough to induce a >.
BUT, it was a very well-written mission, and I enjoyed myself despite the horrible fic being sporked. Thanks for brightening my morning, Miah! *Hands chocolate*

Good job on that fic, Miah! Although I'm not too familiar with any of the Sherlock Holmes stories and movies at all, I could tell that they were ery OOC.

But one I am confused about is why some fanfic authors put in the "rape=love" in some of these fics...

You have some kind of a strong liver! Why why why did they have to ... *mumblemumblemumble*... I would love to adopt David but I can't take him 'cause I have no PM, just a bunch of ideas.

I've been looking through my OCs, all created for play-by-post forum roleplays I frequent, in search of potential Agents. One's come to mind who I feel I'll need a second opinion about. Said character is a Bleach OC; a Shinigami who, everywhere I've played him, has held the position of First Division Lieutenant. Because of this, his replacing a canon character within these RPs, I feel I might need to ask established Agents whether he'd be safe to use, or needs to be detached from the "canon".

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

First present! Have a cookie... don't eat it... save it for the enemy... harder than rock, that. Unless you're dying to try out false teeth.

There's lots for you to post about. But no worries. I think you have to post around for a while before people get to know you and you get PM. And you'll need 2 prospective agents and a writing sample. Use the wikia. It's your best friend.

Welcome, new friend!

Have a venomous arthropod!

I would like to present you with an assortment of things with points. It includes, but is not limited to, claws, talons, beaks and essays.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this pair of classy spats as a welcoming gift.

It's actually a walrus. I ran out of hats.

Welcome to the Board, where we're not sane!
Here's a flashlight, a pair of socks from Gladrags Wizard Wear, and a Gamera puppet.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have a gun. It's useful to kill Sues with. I'm afraid I cannot give you a map - Flowers keep them jealously.

Oh, don't try to use the gun to convince them... It wouldn't work.

Do not feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome to this side of madness. It's fun, honest. And often sprinkled with violence against badfic. Here, have this five-pound bag of assorted candy and a cigarette lighter. I'm sure you can find a use for both.

Have a Pie of Rassilon, and a pet cat. You may name the cat whatever you wish. More vowels get you extra points! As to the pie, well...just don't ask what's in it. I'm a humanitarian, so to speak.

Hope that you have a good stay here. Just be careful about wandering into random dangerous places, okay?

Welcome the the Board!

...Uh, I haven't been around in quite a long time. But no matter! Here's your Cadian pattern lasgun. It is not, despite common belief, a glorified flashlight, as it may actually stun you for a while if you look directly at the light. It's really more of a glorified laser pen.

Welcome to the Board! It's not too hard to get used to the place, really, especially if you've been talking to the usual IRC guys. Other people have more access than me to the handy links we usually give out, so I'll leave that to them, but I thought I'd drop by and give you a traditional Board welcome. I hereby present you with a welcoming gift of a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. May they serve you well. :D

Anyways, FIRST GIFT on you too! A skör bar of the edible kind. And here are some knitting needles of the sort that have hollow insides and a tiny prick at the end for injecting poisons into people, with pink polka dots. Very fun and practical.

What's an FNG?

Anyways, use the Wiki for stuff you don't know.

I'm really bothered by this end result: "Happy Single Teenage Mom". Now, there's a question that gets you to that result, which is "Does she get an abortion?". However, it offers no other than choice than "Ha ha. Of course she doesn't." This single choice happens to bring you to the end result that I had mentioned early.

Now, I'm bugged by this because it seems that it assumes that just because a teenage girl gets pregnant, then she will be atomatically happy with the baby and refuse the abortion. I know that they'll get in trouble either way, but why isn't there a "no" choice or something? After all, not all teens are gonna be happy with being a parent.

I'm also bugged by this question: "Is she a teenager", because if we answer the question, then the female doesn't get a choice either way: Either she's a teen and this leads to the things I've mentioned before, or she's a woman and thus gets forced to get together with a man all of a sudden.

Sorry if I'm rambling like this, but this chart bugs me a lot, especially with it's instructions about how to create a strong female character.

is either an "Action Girlfriend" or a "Vanilla Action Girl", depending on whether you argue whether she's love interest or not...

Interesting flowchart, the problems that others have mentioned notwithstanding.

Elcalion

Very elaborite considering there's only one path to strong female characterness. Besides, some of these categories (Lady McBeth? Hello?) could be strong characters in the sense that they're well-developed and meaningful to the story.

Also, only 2009!Uhura is useless. Original Series!Uhura was competent, despite not being an Action Girl.

Apparantly she is a cutesy badass.

I may have to grumble quietly about the lack of branches under 'rogue', and how Lt. Uhura is apparently a useless girl. It generalizes a lot, I think.

But overall it's a very interesting little flowchart. Thanks for showing it.

That is pretty cool. I find it very amusing.

This pisses me off a bit. Probably because there is only one way to get your character to be a "Strong Female Character". I refuse to believe that just because a character represents an idea of any kind, this immediately disqualifies her from the category of actually being a good character. Also that a sexy, sane villain is nothing but an underling.

*sigh*

Well I can think of a group of trapped chilean miners who were all very stong and supportive of each other. Too bad LJ is only interested in women.

Also, wasn't secretariat a horse?

The wording's not very good and seems to be saying 'how has a woman been extraordinary by supporting you?'
Bleh.
It would be better if it meant 'how has someone been extraordinary by supporting you?'
Or, how about the question gets changed to 'have you ever done something crazy involving a horse?'

Disagreements have been made obvious, and I think there's been a rather epic series of failures in understanding. Time to leave this one alone before it goes thermonuclear by mistake.

What's wrong with having someone be supporting by believing in them? She was the support for the main character. That's how literature works. It's not really sexist.

Also, the dynamic seems pretty close to how actual horse-training works. I do train horses, so...yeah, it was fairly accurate. The question didn't seem sexist either, it was just asking a question. If anything, she did more than usual. Owners of racehorses usually don't participate in the actual training, that's more left to the jockey and trainer.

I didn't mean that having a woman be supportive is sexist, no. But the way the question phrased it was irritating and got under my skin. Basically, it implied that the woman was extraordinary because and only because she supported him passively. The passive, oh-honey-I-believe-in-you support, as opposed to the Pepper Potts*, "I-believe-in-you-and-therefore-I-am-going-to-take-action-and-make-sure-everything-work-and-be-proactive-backup." And it just kept on only asking about, or looking at, supportive women. It's not the existence of women in support positions, but the emphasis on them, that bothered me.

(As to the horse thing: Lesson learned, it was a reasonable assumption, and if the woman is the human protagonist than the phrasing bothers me even more).



*Movieverse!Pepper; don't know the comics, don't want to cause more trouble. And yes, I know there are issues with Movieverse!Pepper, mostly in the way she cannot keep her head in a fight, but I loved her proactive support schtick.

That question has nothing to do with a man. It has everything to do with a horse and the woman that wouldn't give up on it when the men who "knew better" said it was hopeless.

Secretariat, the horse, is "one of the greatest athletes of all time". He won the Triple Crown, which is a very rare event.

So, I am not saying that your issues would not be valid, if the question were about the things you thought it was. However, I believe the question is actually talking about the horse, rather than a man, so I don't think the call of 'sexist' is necessary.

-Phobos

Here's a chocolate one and a metal one. One's for eating and one's for killing Sues--please don't confuse which is which.

All in all we're a perfectly nice bunch, though maybe a little (a lot) nuts.

Make yourself at home!

Hugs,
Mystia

Here's your Cadian pattern lasgun. Don't shine it in your eyes, now. It might actually blind you for a second or two.

Now get out there, and teach those orks the meaning of the Imperial Laser Light Show!

Hi there! I'm Agent S7, a fellow newbie. Good to have another member!

Here, have a CAD that has an added coffee-making feature!

you may never write, but at least you can natter on with the rest of us. :D

Have a tall-ship shrinking bottle. You can keep the tall ship in there for now. All those tall ships are crowding the space, don't you think?

Or did you get the ship yet? *checks* Ah, yes. Well, have a cookie, too.

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly.

Welcome, new friend!

Have a venomous arthropod!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the board! No need to be nervous, people here might be insane but they're nice, friendly, and geeky. And yay for another Troper :) Here, have a bag of assorted candy and a sword of your choice. Enjoy yourself here!

Hello there, and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this suit of ceremonial plate mail armor as a welcoming present.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome to the PPC! Have a pet cat and a Pie of Rassilon. You may name the cat whatever you wish. I'd suggest you didn't eat the pie.

You sound like a mostly rational person. Nice to meet you. Mostly we don't bite. I think.

D'you read fic at all? And what're your tastes on that front?

As to a gift, I present you with a handily brain-sized flame-retardant leash and harness set. Good for when your mind tries to wander without permission.

Don't worry. It's alright if you never write PPC missions at all. Quite a few of us are like that, so you're not the only one.

Oh, hope if you don't mind if I give ya a bottle of water. The water's very fresh.

Welcome, welcome. Here is an assortment of things with points including, but not limited to, sporks, foons and toothpicks.

Another person introduced via TV Tropes? What a coincidence! Anyway, here's an...*straining*AXE you can use for fighting Sues....as well as chopping wood. Don't cut yourself. :P

Calm down! We're nice. A little crazy, yes, but nice.

Putting daydreams into words can be hard.

So, welcome! Have some chocolate.

Here's a magic key! It leads who knows where.

Do you know that your species is spelled like a common mispronunciation of the canon species Draenei, from World of Warcraft? I wondered if that was what you meant, before reading the post. ^_^; (This is not a bad thing, just my brain making associations.)

Seconding Phobos: lurking is okay, as is not writing. We've had plenty of well-respected members who never wrote a word in PPCverse.

Have you read any series apart from Jay and Acacia's? Which ones? What fandoms do you like? {= )

~Neshomeh

Welcome! It is so nice to meet you.

I am glad that you have decided to join our community. We don't mind if you lurk; I have lurker tendencies, myself. Anyways, welcome.

Here is a plushie!Marquis de Sod. Don't let him see it though, he had the rest of the shipment burned.

-Phobos

Heya Trojanhorse!

I know I saw you around back before I vanished, but now we're both back--so yay!

Glad to see you again and here, have some chocolate to replace the meta! :D

Welcome back - I've just delurked after a week away on a work shameless junket conference, and what do I see but a returned Trojie (and a few other posts).

Good to see you back around the Board.

Elcalion

...a 'I Glomped Troije' t-shirt!
I made 'em on short notice, so they'll all have to be One Size Fits None. But I daresay I'm not the only person with needle and thread around here.

I friended yours. Mine's here: http://rc88.dreamwidth.org/
I think there's some stuff up there you might not have seen, though I don't know how interested you'd be.

Yaaay!

And here's some chocolate, too.

pompous/>It's great to have you back! I, a newby, heartily approve of this new and exiting direction!

But really, though, welcome back; it's wonderful to have you again, love your fics.

I'm AgentS7, a newbie. Nice to meet you! I read your DOOM fanfic sporking, and there were quite a few lulz to be had there. From what everyone's saying, you're pretty important to the PPC. I guess I'll be reading some of your missions once I finish TOS! :-)

And here--take this Shark-Launcher. (It doesn't actually launch sharks, though. It just launches Robot Sharks. They were out of the "Real Shark" kind...some kind of PETA lawsuit.)

You seem to have developed a fanbase. Is it the cake?

It's nice to see you again!

To commemorate this event, have a special edition sonic screwdriver with x^2 functions and a gimungous bag of jelly babies!

It's nice to hear that you're back, even if Troije and Pads are retired for good. I'm TheLowtide, a newbie around here, and I'm quite glad to see you around. Your missions were my introduction to the PPC, and I was quite sad to hear about the, um, wig-out and subsequent retirement of Pads. But it's still nice to hear that you've come back, even if it's only to chat. I guess I'll see you on the board!

Oh, and because it's already here... *Omn Noms some icecream*

I will provide lemon cake with sprinkles dotted in the frosting!

I've recently heard about the Boosette incident as well. Although I was a little discouraged about participating here after reading about it, the feeling quickly went away a few hours later.

Anyway, good to see that you're back, Trojanhorse. Hope you continue to participate as much as you possibly can.

I have nothing to give but hugs, but they don't run out. {= ) *hugs*

I'm all for cake and ice cream, but how does jelly fit in? Also, is that the sort of jelly that we would call by a different name in America?

~Neshomeh

Let them eat cake!

*stands in the corner with mochi, then gives mochi to Trojanhorse*

You also are now the proud owner of a trench coat, a fedora, a pocket watch, and a tuxedo cat named Ariel. You now reek of class, madam.

I was worried you'd dropped off the face of the earth or something. We love our oldbies.

Yes! Cake, jelly, and ice cream for everyone!

Just because I know you've been working with Pads forever, and since she's still gone, I didn't know if you'd want to start up again...

If this is a sensitive subject, then I'm sorry to bring it up. I was just curious.

Welcome back. I would give you a plushie!Marquis de Sod, but I gave the last one to a newbie. So, to welcome you back, here is a tiny mechanical Queen Anne's Lace.

And I will have some ice cream, thank you. *Gets a scoop of Wasabi ice cream*

-Phobos

And you brought treats. Yummy. Please take this replica Who scarf as a welcome back gift.

Good to have you back. We left the heater on in your room so it would be nice and warm for you.

This clearly calls for a celebration.

Here, have a hug from Moses. He's very huggable.

Hey, aren't you famous? Can I have an autogra- wait, never mind. Can I have some cake?

Welcome back! :)

Fair winds (back here)!

And don't forget to throw a BBQ party.

It'll be nice to have you back around. ^_^

...what sort of cake and ice cream? If chocolate is anywhere involved, I'm there.

*Must not glomp...*

It's really nice to meet you, I did actually read most if not all of your missions thanks to the wiki... and yeah. *blush*

So, um, hi! And welcome back indeed.

Glad to see you back~ ^_^

Welcome back, friend! Now that you're here, cake & ice cream for all!

*eats cake* Welcome back! If you promise that you will never freak out again, I'll give you a gun.

You know, guns are dangerous if put in the hands of crazy people...

Call out the trumpeters! Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and consumption of sugary snacks in the parlor!

Must not glomp talented PPCer I don't actually know. What flavors of icecream?

Yay sweets!

Not that I need to greet you, given the now-nearing-a-hundred-and-eighty-thousand-words communication-in-progress, but hello :) For the record, I've sort of been hiding away from the Board myself lately, more for lack of time and energy than Fear Of... well, something. But all's well! :)

*omnomnomnom*

Speaking of cake...

*noms cake* Welcome back!

*om nom nom nom nom*

Must have it... must have sugar...

Cake... mmm...

...yes, it's midterms week, how did you know?

Come on in, hang out. We were just talking about what makes a "strong female character"...

I dunno what's causing it or how to fix it, but it stopped acting up on its own after I waited a bit. Honestly, I wouldn't really be surprised if it was Google just screwing up.

Here's a DL-44 blaster pistol. Use it well, it wasn't cheap. Should be useful during your travels as an agent.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

I have found you, my foe, and soon I shall have veng. . . Never mind. . . ummmmm. . . Sorry about that, thought you were someone else. Have a small rabbit skin pouch, to put things in. Have a nice time!

Do not feed it Sues.

Hello! You are now the proud owner of a Badass Longcoat, a fedora, a pocket watch, and a tuxedo cat named Faye. You now stink of class, ma'am...sir...whatever you are!

Have a pet cat and a Pie of Rassilon. You may name the cat whatever you wish, As for the pie...let's just say it's slightly inedible.

Pleasure to meet you, glad to see you've left your insanity at the door. Make sure you have your receipt to reclaim it later, and keep said receipt away from the Minis roaming HQ. Here, have some chocolate and a kettle. Makes good tea and also a good bludgeoning item.

Welcome to the PPC, foreign newcomer! Hope that you enjoy your stay here. If you do get permission, though, then be careful. You might never know when you'll encounter a sue that could break your mind in being unrealistic.

Weclome, I have for you an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but it not limited to, shorswords, spears,pencils and the letter V.

Hi!

Have a pecan braid pastry. *munch* And a handy-dandy Nondescript Knife, very good survival weapon.

Just wanted to let you know that you should ask for permission only after proving yourself (or whatever) for like a month. And picking the proper sporkable badfic, and writing agent profiles. But no worries, you only get turned away if you have some serious logical problems or your beta obviously can't beta, or something like that...

I like your name. I use ellipses all the time. :D

Welcome to the board! Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!

Welcome, new friend!

Have a venomous arthropod!

Have a gun. Killing Sues will be easier, I already killed a pair with a pistol.

Glad to see you here in the world of the PPC.

I'm not a Permission Giver, but I'd like to extend my most hearty welcomes anyway.

Have a chocolate spork and a metal one! One's for eating and one's for killing Sues--please don't confuse which is which.

All the best,
Mystia

Here, have a Cadian-pattern lasgun. It's slightly more effective than a flashlight.

But don't get too hasty, there! I'm sure we'd all like to talk civilly for a bit before we get to the violence and suchlike. BENSON! Some tea, if you will.

I DO NOT LIKE BAD SLASH. I DO NOT ...

I have no titles for you. Oh, wait, yes I do: Ecstasy in Exile, by Amandalynwood, ff.net. See, it's supposed to mean that the girl has found ecstasy (love of the sex type) while in exile, but it could mean that ecstasy is in exile... get it? Hah. That makes me feel a little bit better.

My post seems to have caused an argument. I am really sorry, please don't fight with each other.

I'll see your three badfics, aaaaand raise you three more. Read 'em and weep, girly.

an uchiha's proposal
Naruto fanfic. Sasuke proposes to Naruto, Naruto says no, Sasuke convinces Naruto to say yes by spiriting him away and ****ing him. The actual sex is not shown (thank God for that), but that does not make this thing any less creepy. Also, downright freakish levels of misogyny. To me, that really clinches it.
Summary: "Sasuke must find a wife as ordered by the Fifth. However, his first attempt was refused bluntly so more unorthodox ways must be used.

The Real Truth
Sailor Moon fanfic. Serena goes psycho, starts butchering her friends and family, uses her (dead) mother and brother as party decorations, 'scuse me, 'decreations', kills herself, reincarnates, murders her new dad and kills herself again. As a six-year-old. What a big, wide, wonderful world we live in!
Summary: "Serena has kept a secret from the Sailor Scouts and even Tuxedo Mask (a.k.a. Darien). She finally tells them. Will her secret do more than just scare the girls and what will happen to Darien? AN- This is rated PG-13 for a good reason! Complete"

Summer Time!
Gatekeepers fanfic. Beach races! Ice cream! Swimsuit contests! Nothing else! It ends! The readers rejoice!
Summary: "The gate keepers party have their vacation on the beach. Then new characters added. Please Read and Review."

Just so you know, my knowledge of the canon worlds these stories mutilate are based on is practically zero. Sometimes, however, badfic transcends such petty limitations. Sure does now.

Enjoy :)

By the way, you're the Boarder who has recently surfaced again, aren't you? I failed to greet you that time, so now, here's a Magic!Mystery!Box! It contains something very special, that may or may not be alive. Open it up and find out!

Who A) died in a car accident B) was a lemon writer of no small proportion. Ugh. People should be writing tributes to... to... to... like, with Thalia Weavers and people like that, how could a person spend all that time writing something so ... not good... for a writer that wrote stuff that was ... not good...

Anyway, the mission was very interesting to me. I mean, you don't go to stop implied selffest everyday, you know? Anyway, hope to see more missions from these two!

Ow.....my childhood is in pain right now.

I read it, and went straight to read the other ones of Xericka and Gremlin. I really like those two, they're very funny!

I liked the Bad Slash Bingo idea too. I guess that would work with Mary Sues too. If you had bigger cards, otherwise they'd be full waaay too fast.

I really do. The Bad Slash bingo is a great idea. You should make some cards, or--it would be cool to have a Bad Slash bingo card generator.

The last line was the best ever. "I merely wanted to know where you got the tie." Excellent.

It kind of took me a while to get the hang of these two, but I am really starting to have expectations as to how they are likely to behave. I'm feeling like I know them, which is really good.

I've only seen Teen Titans a few times, but that fic was just bad. I've run across a few of these self!cest fics lately in various fandoms. They are rather odd, at best. Good job on killing it.

But nice mission, as I said at the site.

“What do you win in a game of Bad Slash Bingo?”
“Sympathy.”

You are now responsible for my having to make the agonizing decision of whether to squirt coffee out of my nose or spit it all over my computer monitor. I hope you're happy!!

Typos:
"A must amusing double entendre.”
must --> most.
"No way Starfire would take something like this laying down."
laying --> lying

Man, that was an extremely annoying Sue. I liked the bit about her threatening with the karate pose, and then getting her butt kicked in short order. I really enjoyed that.

I really like Tony as a character, and it bugs me when the Sue's decide that he is only good for goofing off. Of course, they were all so OOC that it was just bad, but it bugs me more with him being my favorite. :)

Glad to see that Tasmin is calm enough again to get regular missions again.

"We charge you with wasting a PPC agents tax dollars" Hilarious. That annoying girl got what she deserved.

That was cute. I didn't figure out that Dee was Drake before the reveal. That might be a rather...interesting relationship. I'm looking forward to their next encounter.

Okay, I'm bristling with antci...(SAY IT!!!!).....pation right now.

I am definitely an RHS/RHPS fan, and I have Permission. I think I might have to take one of these on...

When giving links it's usually helpful to also provide a short summary of what is to be expected. At the very least provide information on fandom, rating and whether people might not want to read on the grounds of your kink is not my kink.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5674030/1/Unsuspected_Discoveries

Summary: Merlin/Arthur. Merlin is subjected to a terrible punishment by Arthur. He also happens to be gay. A fact that Arthur finds out. Merlin is horrified. But there might just be some unsuspecting twists and surprises in store for our young heros.


This one starts out with the characters OOC, but not mission worthy OOC, then it just gets worse and worse as it goes. It ends up with Bad Biology, Bad Psychology, trivialization of rape, sexual abuse, character bashing, rampant OOC-ness, homophone mix-ups, nonsensoleum posing as plot, and crying. Lots and lots of crying.

Someone please take this as a mission.

Okay, I don't know much about 'Bleach,' but I know this is bad. To whomever gets this assignment: kill it like the rest.

I reckon I've been around for over a month...

Dear gods, That made me want to weep. Zampakutos do NOT act like that OR work that way! That sue is too damn skilled and powerful for someone with little to no prior training! And, most of all, The only way he could have become a substitute soul reaper in the first place involves a process that Rukia wouldn't have been able to do twice in sucession, and AAAARGHABARGLEBARGLE!

... *wipes away the foam from her mouth* I'mma gonna need some Bleeprin after that affront to Bleach Canon. Unfortunately, I don't have permission, otherwise I'd have this one skewered, roasted over a hot fire, and seasoned like a nice candied ham.

Department of Improbabilities' dead parakeet:


And the Bad Parody headless rubber chicken:


I also cut out an image of a bladderwrack frond for Cruel and Unusual Punishment, and a non-squashed version of the Bad Roleplay's black swift, but I don't like either one of those.

I have been doing the same thing, trying to make a standardized mission patch for all departments. maybe we should work together. The link below connects to all of the patches I have made so far. my main problem is the time it take me to convert or fabricate a simple color 400X400 pixel mock up of a patch that I can then color and join. If you would provide said mock ups, then I could cut the time it takes me to finish them in half.


http://silverwind91.deviantart.com/art/Flash-Patch-Collection-Three-180986072?q=sort%3Atime+gallery%3Asilverwind91&qo=0

I love to draw and if someone needs a picture of a flower/ character/ department patch/ whatever for the wiki I might be able to help if I have free time.

I woke up in the middle of the night laughing because of these, are there any more

Um, I just want you guys to know, that stuff about how you'll not have lived if you haven't seen these parodies, and about how you must click the links, is not to be taken seriously. It was supposed to be funny, but such things can be hard to convey in a written medium. I only meant that the parodies are really, really funny, and that if you choose to click them, you may well have some good laughs.

Just saying this to keep confusion to a minimum.

I'm not sure how many times I laughed while reading it. ^^

I'm reminded of a comic strip where the protagonist is told that something is a "must see". He walks away saying, "Too bad. I might have liked it."

In the same manner, I will continue not living.

(Not to discourage you from sharing links, but, personally, I don't care for the recommendation that something is "a must". So far I have managed without said thing that is recommended. I'm sure I will go on just fine without the "must". Therefore, the "must" is not actually a must. What's wrong with calling things just excellent?)

I like these two. That fic made very little sense. It sounds like a good first target. It was kind of weird at first that Jenka kept carrying Chalk around, but then it got to the really funny stage.

I especially like the dynamic between your agents, and am eager to see more of them.

This is decent writing, and clearly isn't a first draft. Creative handling of the bit, too.
It took me a while to figure out Jenka's gender, but that's probably my fault for not reading the introduction.
*Applause*

I like the way your agents dealt with the bit-rapist. Usually, such a character would be killed in a mission, or just disappear with the canon's reassertion. But using the neuralyzer to make him into a normal person is a great idea! It makes sense, too; since a bit doesn't have much personality anyway, there's nothing wrong with changing it.

I don't know the first thing about the canon here, but I like to think I've come to know a well-written Mission when I see one. Considering this was your first, I'd say you've done yourself proud. Your Agents, too, have an entertaining dynamic about them; I'll be sure to keep tabs on them.

Again, very well done.

It's been a while since someone's done LotR, too. Which department are your agents in? (We need a wiki article for "Bad Action". I've seen so many botched fight scenes it's just sad...)

Aragorn and his "brothers" ducking each other in a river when Aragorn is thirty doesn't actually seem too odd to me, though. All three of them are generally serious characters; but they are (foster) siblings and I don't see why a few minutes of light-heartedness between them is all that OOC. Guess it depends how you write it.

But the rest, I agree with you: Head injuries do NOT work that way. And this is coming from someone who's had the opportunity to actually examine all the tiny little structures involved--believe you me, the skull can only do so much, especially when the brain is bouncing around inside it like a Superball. Randomly healing concussions... *sigh* Some of these writers SO need a basic anatomy class.

Your agents are generally safe without disguises if there aren't any OCs involved, but if the canons are OOC enough, or verge into Canon Sue territory, the agents are in danger of being detected.

The author in this fic seems to have been distorting Middle-earth geography like one of those rubber sheets you see in gravity demonstrations... only worse. Which makes sense, actually, because the uncanon elements can distort the geography and the timeline, and when you remove them they disappear...

OK, enough rambling. Liked your mission.

Congratulations on your first mission!

I really like the interplay between your twin agents. Quarrelsome yet caring, just the way I like it. Also, the story of Felaben's genesis is original, to say the least.

That wraith had some nerve, using so-called 'artistic license' as an excuse to have canon characters as torture dummies. I said it before, and I'll say it again: torture can be a plot device, but not a whole plot. That's just wrong. I'm glad you killed this dead.

And (heh heh) it's fun that your knowledge of first aid is surfacing here, too.

Just want to poke my head in briefly to suggest a separate thread if you're going to suggest all-new flash patches. In the past we've voted in patches for departments without them.

In the case of SIELU, though, I know Hellga has been here relatively recently (meaning in the last year or two, IIRC), so it may be possible to get in touch with her. Maybe someone has her friended on LiveJournal? Anyway, I'd say ask her about SIELU if you can before making something up.

~Neshomeh

Special Operations Division
-- A greyscale waterlily on a white background
-- A red ampersand (&)

Department of Plagiarism
-- Two fountain pens arranged in an 'X' shape
-- A pencil broken in half
-- A book with pages torn out

Division of Historical Inaccuracies
-- A flag with a question mark on it
-- An upside down crown
-- A broken hourglass

Timeline Distortions Division
-- A smashed or upside down stopwatch

If you are...
The Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna could be a sheep, a palm tree, and a mountain. Or something along those lines.

"The Department Head has stated that the purpose of Legal is to maintain the balance between order and chaos, as represented by their Departmental logo, the Legal Chao. The Chao (pronounced "cow") resembles a yin-yang with order represented by the five-frond fern on one side and chaos by the anti-gravity apple on the other. The significance of the anti-gravity apple is unknown - it is rumoured to represent the Head of the Physics Division, a former Head of Department, or something else entirely."

RDR Flash Patch:


DRD Flash Patch:


Get it now? :)

I hope that you don't mind a glass of water, do you? It's very fresh.

Anyway, hope you have a good time reading the PPC missions and anything else related to the PPC.

...A trench coat, a fedora, a pocket watch, and a tuxedo cat named Lenore. You now stink of class, and possibly cat litter.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome! Here, have a pet cat and a Pie of Rassilon. You may name the cat whatever you wish, but you get bonus points for an obscure referance. As for the pie...just don't ask what's in it.

Pleasure to meet you, have this bag of assorted candy and a crossbow. Use with care. Recent stuff is pretty varied in the PPC, you could check the list of recent missions to catch up with what various agents have been up to.

Great to have you here! Here's a chocolate spork and a metal one. One's for eating and one's for killing Sues--please don't mix up which one is which.

Big hugs,
Mystia

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a giant plunger, because I was just thinking about evil plunger vacuum cleaner thingies. One at least.

Alright, i've been to the wiki and just have one question: why do they sell Water?

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this pair of fire-proof wellies as a welcoming gift.

Hello there, and welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Here is a squashy purple sleeping bag and some chocolate!

Here's an M6G Pistol. Aim high, it'll save your life, the sights take getting used to but it comes in handy in combat. (It wasn't cheap, so conserve your ammo.)

Hello, I am Silverwind, more comenly known as Silver. Right now I am making realistic flash patches. If you have any ideas, feel free to add them here http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=199610;article=204535;title=PPC%20Posting%20Board

Have a remote-controlled spaceship. Now you too can make people go all, "Argh! UFO!"

Welcome, Jimmy. Just so you know, this is a writing-centric sort of place-- we value grammar, spelling, and capitals here. In the future, it'd be much appreciated if you made an effort to type your posts without l33tspeak, and with correct capitalisation. Along the same lines, here is our Constitution. It's a list of guidelines to posting here; please read it before continuing to post. We also have a Wiki, for the curious; any number of helpful links and interesting things can be found thereabouts.

I think we give gifts instead of pokes, these days, so I'll offer the traditional whisk, towel, and flamethrower. Welcome to the 'Board, and I'll see you around!

(ah! Knew I'd forget something... As an aside-- we tend to try not to create too many individual threads unnecessarily, here; replies are far better, as every new thread pushes an old one off the edge of the page. Probably better to tell you now than wait until you've done it accidentally and have to be told.)

Welcome, new friend!

Have a bottle of troll repellent!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!