Oct 2010 Archive, part a

Just make sure that your OC Rell doesn't become a mary sue, though. Other then that...again, good for you.

I shall give it a look-see. :)

Have a Magic Floating Laser Cannon! It works on pixie dust and doubles as a coffee machine for your Evil Fortress personnel!

(You may not yet or no longer possess an Evil Fortress, but I'm sure you'll build one sooner or later, when you have enough slaves.)

Here, have a cupcake and a Pidgin!

The cupcakes are delicious! The Pidgin... not so much. However, it works as an emergency-universal-translator-slash-message-carrier! It is mildly intelligent, and can translate almost any language! Unfortunately, it only translates into Fanbrat, so use with care. They are also freakishly hard to kill, so don't worry about letting any other pet you might have chew on it every once in a while... But this also means you can't stop the Fanbrat-speech...

Have a Generic Doomsday Device. That should help get your world domination back on track!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties.

Have a pet dog. I usually give out cats, but you've probably already got one.

Welcome back to the Board! We love old new faces (and new faces, old faces, new old faces, etc.). Have a welcome-back bag of pebbles and Random Shiny Object.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome back to the boards, Tranum! Hope that you have a good time here!

(By the way, I'm sorry about your world domination plans being ruined by the move. Any chance you might try again on that plan?)

Here is an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but is not limited to: arrows, editorials about teabags, and shards of carefully broken glass. Use them wisely.

Here's a chocolate spork wrapped!

And your welcome back post is my welcome back post. I joined the boards back in 2005, became quite active, and then dropped off the face of the earth for a number of reasons.

I've recently started re-reading all the old PPC fics and getting reacquainted with the chronology. And seeing your post inspired me to start posting again as well.

Hugs,
Mystia

Yo. Have a moose covered in maple syrup.

I know exactly what that's like. When I go for a fandom, I too go all the way, so to speak. And like you, I never grow tired of it, which pleases me just fine.

Pleased to meet you, and have some semi-sentient cookies! Careful, they may bite back.

Hello! Just realized that I didn't say hi.

Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly.

Welcome to the Board! Nice choice of fandoms, I appreciate the variety.

Anyway, here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

Welcome to the Board, and by extension, the PPC. Here's your newbie hat (in your choice of eye-searing urple or retina-burning blello) and a complimentary Frying Pan of DOOM^TM. Use them wisely.

Welcome to the board! Have a chocolate spork! They are delicious and can kill Sues in a pinch.

Good to have you a-Board.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder* You shan't need it here.

Hiya! I'm Rosie!

Have a cupcake and a Pidgin! The cupcake is delicious, and the Pidgin works as an emergency-universal-translator-slash-message-carrier! It is mildly intelligent, and can translate almost any language! Unfortunately, it only translates into Fanbrat, so use with care. They are also freakishly hard to kill, so don't worry about letting any other pet you might have chew on it every once in a while... But this also means you can't stop the Fanbrat-speech...

*cough* You're now two books behind on Artemis Fowl, just so you know - The Time Paradox and The Atlantis Complex. I encourage you to read them.

Welcome, new friend! Have an authentic Chuck Norris chin hair! Don't take it out of the titanium case, though; holding in in your bare hand will cause it to cut into your flesh. Also, don't keep the hair on your person for extended periods of time, because it is slightly radioactive and has a tendency to attract amorous male wildcats.

*crawls out from under the heaping pile of fun stuff that's been dumped on me* Hoo boy, that was quite an enthusiastic greeting. Thank you all for the fun stuff, I'm going to have a blast here, I just know it already.

9th Blue Mage, I'm just as surprised as you are to see another Disgaea fan.It's s small shame that you don't own them yourself, but I'm sure that, if nothing else, you'll get your chance in time, what with the 4th game coming out next year and all. In the meantime, I can suggest a fic or two.

Cassie, thank you for the ShinyShiney, I will guard it jealously and fervently 'til the end of days.

Now, if you'll excuse me for a second, I've gotta go set up arrangements for the cheetah, cat, and Hell Butterfly.

In that case I shall call you Bert, have a plasma rifle.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Welcome to the Board, it's awesome to have you here. You had an excellent introduction to the PPC, if you started with Trojie's stuff. :) Hope the rest lives up to expectations!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Useful and pretty.

Hello! Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish. The more unpronouncable, the better.
FYI, there's two after the Lost Colony. ;D They get a bit weird though.

Have a gun. Never safe enough with Sues around.

Feel free to make it a SIg Sauer form Artemis Fowl, if you wish.

Do not feed it Sues or Stus.

It's good to know that I'm not the only one who likes the Disgaea series (even though I don't own any of the games...)

Anyway, make yourself right at home here as you explore what the PPC has to offer.

Yay for more Bleach fans, and welcome! Here's a welcoming gift-- your very own Hell Butterfly. Comes with care instructions and equipment. Also, have a zanpakuto of your choice (I apologize if I've mangled the spelling, I can't speak Japanese).

Welcome. Here is an assortment of pointed objects including, but not limited to: staples, scientific research and armor piercing bullets. Use them wisely.

I mean...even in conceptual terms, there's nothing in Star Wars that's even remotely realistic or based on reality. Technology...didn't march on that far.

Now excuse me, but I'm off to go re-read Arthurian myths.

I'm not sure if it misses the point or gets it perfectly, but it is certainly brilliant.

You mean it's--

they didn't really...

it's all...

My whole LIFE is a LIE!

Insight coupled with simple youthful misunderstanding of the point of it all. Gotta love kids.

And also, the brilliance of youth!

I'd love to do NaNoWriMo again. The only problem is that I'm in college now, and it leaves little-to-no time for a giant monster of a novel in thirty days.

I still remember the lightning feeling I got when I DID participate. That thunder beneath my fingertips, those roaring rapids of creativity. I have time to write, of course, but not enough time to write such a huge amount in such a short time.

At the very least I will try to break my personal record of 20k words.

No idea what I am going to write yet. It will probably be something involving the world I am creating. That was what I did last year, and then I used it for the writing sample for permission. So maybe a continuation of some things from last year.

I'll probably decide when I sit down to write.

-Phobos

The story I want to work on is a fairy tale punk sort thing with Nursery Rhyme and lesser fairy tale characters in the spotlight. A sort of lesser stakes kind of story. The big fairy tales and the currently out fairy tale movies are about the people that parades are thrown for, and this story is about the characters watching the parade. There's also chess, track races, the blues, organized crime, and happily ever afters.

And this year, I'll actually finish! :D

I have absolutely no idea what my story is-- I seem to get farther when I don't use an outline. I know it involves dragons, though, and possibly djinn!

It'll be my first time, I only found out what it was all about last December.
I've had multiple ideas and I'm still unsure of what I'll do...

I've got a ghost story to tell, courtesy of an unusually long, detailed and plot-soaked dream I had earlier this year.

My suitemate coerced me into it. (By which I mean she mentioned it and I went, "Oh, oh, I've always wanted to do that!")

My story idea currently involves the gold rush and killer hummingbirds. It's complicated.

I'll even remember about it this year. :P
I've never done it before, usually because I forget until I see someone mention it midway through November.

I don't know what I'll do yet. I don't think one of my larger ongoing projects, I'd rather start something fresh, but...

Well, an idea will come up. One hopes. Maybe something in the same world but a different era or place. Who knows.

I'll be continuing my last year's NaNovel, a thriller novel about a college-aged spy in training. Should be fun if I can get to a stopping point in last year's document! The character's easy enough to write, so that's good at least...

I've been doing it for several years now. My daughter was upset the first time I did. But only because I didn't tell her about it in time for her to participate.

The truth is I didn't want to be outdone by my ten year old kid. (She typically has the highest word count in our region.)

I'm torn between something set in my RP world, a continuation of a series I've been working on for ages, or something in Jackson and Felaben's home continuum.

It will be a fantasy sequel to last year's novel.

The ACMSES has greatly popularized the character I'm using.

I'm really busy, so I don't know how good I'll do.

On a different note, does anyone have any tips for getting out of a writer's block when writing a mission?

I had this cool idea about a cyberpunk world with elements of both fantasy and science fiction (and for the past five months my mind has been filled with the details of the crystalline growth that sprouts on everything and is used as a power source). I had this very snarky roguish-thief archetype, and she had a girlfriend who was a mage trained at the Government Academy, but she left, and this was a huge deal because mages without the academy's support and supplements tend to whither and fade and go into a sort of withdrawal and eventually outright die, and they're trying to keep her alive but they aren't sure which of the academy's odd habits were what keeps the mages alive, so they're just guessing. And there was also this trained, very powerful soldier who'd gone AWOL and the thief girl basically blackmailed him into joining up with them, and all of them were going to have to go on the run and try and find a way to live free and on their own, and just escape. (And at one point I was going to give them a couple of young children sort of dumped in their laps to protect, too.)

Sadly, there are signs that Life is going to happen in November with a vengeance, and I'm going to get about a thousand words, especially if I'm shooting for a goal. So I don't think I can write it this year. (Instead, I will bore people to death talking about it on message boards).

I'd love to be on the demo crew that brings an especially pretty church down. There's just something so solemn and poignant about a religious place coming to it's end.

Mystia

I have neither mercy not pity for them.

On a humorous note, I would love to blow up a Death Star. Just to be able to say, "Hey. I blew up a freaking Death Star."

That a few months ago, after the Boosette incident, there was a Talk about insulting the badfic authors rather than the badfic. The results boiled down to:

DON'T.

We're here to create laughs and have fun, not to be vicious.

I think I'd blow up Mars, while making it very clear to everyone i was going to do it. Hopefully people would belive I could do it again. Mwa ha ha ha har.

Because a supernova only ~500 light years away would be just plain cool.

Betelgeuse is a red supergiant which, as far as anyone can tell, is on the verge of going supernova sometime in the next 500 years. When it does, it'll be so bright it's visible in the daytime for months.

...along the lining of Osama bin Laden's stomach. That way, he would die a slow, painful death of acid leaking out into his torso through his explosion-burned ulcer.

10 by 15 centimetres is just too small for pictures like that.

Rapists, pedophiles, mafia... all this annoying people. And badfic authors, too.

I found it in my basement. Much to my dismay, it does not work.

Imagine all the pretty colors!

every single web author who has ever, directly or indirectly, hurt my brain.

All the douchebags, morons, and people who are just too plain lazy to exercise proper spelling and grammar on the RP site I frequent. *grrr*

[/rant]

So that when it exploded, it would make a giant BOOM!

Don't worry about the thread thing, we won't bite at all. And greetings to you back, Sylibane.

Have a chocolate spork, and a metal one to match! One is for eating; the other is for stabbing.

Glad to have you a-Board!

Best,
Mystia

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties!

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Oh, wow...you guys are pretty friendly.
Some of the fandoms I'm most into are Pokémon, Harry Potter, and Warriors (though I've started moving away from that one, seeing the direction the series has been going recently). I'm sometimes into Warcraft (aka whenever an expansion's just come out/something plotworthy's happened) and Lord of the Rings (generally depending on my mood).
And yes, I have read Da Rules.

Welcome, new friend! Help yourself to a venomous arthropod from the terrarium! (There's all different kinds.)

Have a gun. Long-range weapons are better than short-ranged ones, with Sues.

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this package of multi-purpose white socks as a welcoming gift. Everyone needs more socks.

Welcome to the asylum. You'll like it here.

As a welcome gift, here's a set of ten Sue voodoo dolls, and a box with five-hundred needles in various colors and sizes.

Use them without restraint, young grasshopper.

Here, have a conical hat. It's made from tin foil (to keep out the conspiracy theorists) and duct tape (to make it indestructible)!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Welcome, have some chocolate! :) What sort of fandoms are you into?

Hi! Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.
So, what are your fandoms?

Pleased to meet you, I'm Makari. Do stick around. And you're not disrupting anything yet, to the best of my knowledge. :)

What works have you read? Have you encountered the Wiki yet? And what sorts of fandoms do you prefer?

As a welcoming gift, please receive this conveniently brain-sized and flame-retardant leash-and-harness set. Excellent for when your mind wants to wander.

Have an assortment of pointed things including, but not limited to, picket fences, steak knives, sarcasm and swords.

Nice to see someone new :) What fandoms are you into?

...yes. Misspelled places cause minis.

And I would guess Bill Stumbled is a mini-Aragog, because despite the crossover, Bill is HP-native?

I love Thirty Hs. Best troll fic I've ever read, even though it gets (more) terrifying at Chapter 7. I recommend the Dramatic Reading by Man Without a Body. XD

I'm leaning towards "intentionally crazy for the purpose of producing lulz," but there is that distant, terrifying possibility that it's sincere.

If so, we must kill it. With fire. F***fire, preferably.

(Also, random gaming reference in subject. Doubt anyone will get it. :-P)

I just skim read it. First reaction - abba wibba who the what now?
I'm praying for troll. Let it be a troll.

Ooookay...?

Did I read the tvtropes article correctly...?

But...if so, then it's very...full of nonsense...

*Can't sum up thoughts about fic properly*

All in all, I've never heard of ThirtyHs until now, though.

Also I'm rather impressed that, in over a hundred reviews, not one of them is negative.

Seriously, though, it's probably one of the most quotable fics out there, maybe second to My Immortal.

I...

Here, have this absurdly cute gif of a parrot to help cleanse your minds.

*reads the TvTropes article*
BY ALL THAT'S CANONICAL...

I really, really, really hope that's trolling. Did I mention I hope it's trolling?

This? This right here? Is not a troll fic. I've finished reading the damn thing, and I can't explain why, but I know that it's real.

So... For the love of all that is good and holy, kill it, kill it, KILL IT!

For this, its suffering shall be without end.

Well, I've read the page on TV Tropes, and I'll say this. If the author is a troll, they are quite possibly one of the most accomplished trolls ever, and deserves our gratitude for this magnificent piece of insanity.

If the author is not a troll, however (and I have this queasy feeling that they're not), then we are looking at an abomination so monstrous, so unholy, that our minds should self-destruct from the sheer horror of it.

This was SttQ, coming to you live from her cozy spot under the bed.

And those are ten minutes I'll never get back. I am definitely saving the dramatic readings for future listening.

-- Mystia, with horrified fascination

Here's a Magic Key! It leads who knows where. Hope you enjoy it here!

Have some floating cookies! They're really good, if you can catch them.

Welcome to the board! Here, have some tea as fuel for those long archive binges, and a grenade launcher. I'm sure you can put it to good use.

Hi, and weclome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties!

Welcome to the PPC! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Hello there!

There are a lot of stories of the PPC, indeed. Even some of them could possibly be lost. Anyway, just hope that your time is good here.

Have a gun. You can kill Sues with it. Not fdor shooting yourself in the head after reading too much missions - you need only the TOS and few more.

Do not feed it Sues or Stus.

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish, the more consonants, the better.

Welcome to the madhouse PPC! Here is an assortment of things with points including, but not limited to: tiny plastic swords, pencils, essays and nails.

Here, have this conical hat. Good for wearing on the head!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly!


And, to honor Sedri's request, because I do think the links are a good thing, here are the links.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

I've been here four years, still haven't read everything.

Just to give you a time frame.

Welcome, new friend!

Have a book of magic spells that never accomplish what you really need them to! Also, some genuine Sioux City sarsaparilla, because your username has reminded me how much I love root beer.

And I claim the towel!

Check the URL. The Constitution (not to mention the PPC Main Page, useless though it is) is no longer hosted on Oddlots (mostly because Oddlots no longer exists :(). I stole it and put it up on one of my sites. That means two things:

1/ In direct contradiction of the Wiki article on it (which, why do you link to the Wiki, not the Constitution itself?), the Constitution is now at least theoretically signable again.

2/ And more importantly, if it's agreed to be a good idea, we can add an appendix of Useful Links to it.

Note the 'Useful' there. I should hope it's understood that the PPC isn't a research project; it's a fun thing. You don't actually have to devote several hours to reading up on it before participating. The Original Series is something you should read (although didn't Pads say she never had?), but you've got five links there which are all about writing missions.

I think this is one of those things which has drifted in gradually, but it seems to be assumed that everyone with an interest in the PPC wants to write for it as soon as possible. That isn't the case. Some of the biggest names in PPC history never wrote a single mission (heck, as far as I recall, /none/ of the original three permission givers - Miss Cam, GreyLadyBast and Thalia - did so). We're not just a community of writers - we're a Board of people who enjoy reading a particular set of stories and sympathise with the aims behind it. Yes, many of us do write, but don't let's give the impression (which is the one I'm getting from many welcome posts) that the only reason to join the Board is to hang around a month and get permission to write.

I'm going to restate this: You don't have to read those links. They are not mandatory. Five of them are barely useful unless you plan on writing a mission. It is perfectly acceptable to join the Board, read TOS and the Constitution, and never set foot on the Wiki. A wiki is a tool for looking up information when you need it. 99% of the data on the Wiki can be obtained by reading the missions it comes from. (Yes, with the PPC Wiki there's always a little new stuff floating around - like I said, It's Fun). I'm starting to feel like the PPC treats its old missions like I do the Silmarillion - as a research tool, but not something you read much.

---

Okay, summary, since I got a bit tangled up in there.

1/ The Constitution is now editable, if we want to a) sign it or b) add a Useful Links Appendix.

2/ The PPC Board is about enjoying the Original Series and/or other PPC stories, not necessarily about needing to write your own.

3/ The Wiki is a tool which cannot replace the stories its information is gathered from. If you need to know something for something you're writing, use it. If you want entertainment, read a story.

hS

(And, Sedri - I appreciate your reasons for posting this, but your execution feels a bit like you're giving orders. I know you aren't, but the way you presented it, in spite of the disclaimers, sounds a bit that way. ~hS)

I, too, have been less than fully present lately, and it's probably gonna be like that for a little while longer, what with things and stuff, the best of which is that I may be starting new job soon.

Anyway, point being, I agree that it would be really awesome if you did like Sedri requests and step up if you think things like the Links, or anything else you don't see happening, are important. We are a government of Random People Who Do Helpful Stuff Because They Feel Like It. I don't know if there's a fancy word for it or not, but it only works if people who feel like it do stuff, and it works best when LOTS of people do stuff, so that no one person is doing too much stuff. So... do something! {= D

~Neshomeh, who is not sure what stuff overdose causes, but would be interested to hear your theories.

Could you maybe make that text file available? I'll certainly provide the links whenever I can.

Ooh! Ooh! I want the egg! What sort of egg is it?
Thanks for the links. I've seen some of them already, but they might come in handy later.

I'm sorry, I'm terrible about greeting newbies, but I'll try to remember the Links in the future. I remember how helpful they were when I got them!

Thank you for the big greeting Sedri, I'm happy to be here. Again, I must tank you for the links, as while I had most of them already you gave me a good excuse to save them in a doc for easy reference.

Also, I claim dibs on the awesome-sounding pocketknife! I've got little to no clue what it does, but eh, whatever.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties!

Hooray! Another returning person! Here, have a conical hat. It may or may not be magical, I wouldn't know.

I know that you probably don't know me, but welcome back to the boards.

Do not feed it Sues or Stus.

Here, have some chocolate and a copy of the Assassin's Guide to Pain. It comes with a chart of nerve endings and clusters. >:D

Hello again! Have a Toaster of Rassilon. It makes Rassilon-flavoured toast!

Hello! It's a pleasure to meet you. ^^

I want to apologize for not having read your missions before this. I just finished all of them, and they are great. I loved the crazy CADS from the earlier missions. I don't know Happy Tree Friends at all, but those replacement Evil Flippy badfics were awful. The missions were funny, though.

After I caught up on reading them, I can much better understand Deuce's statement to Caleb at the beginning of this one. Why would someone think that was a good idea?

I loved the scene Adder walked in on at the end of this fic--especially since it was just ten minutes later. Lucifer should be a very interesting addition to the RC. Oh, and poor Kieran! I think Molly traumatized him.

I really like how harmoniously Caleb and Deuce work together (that is to say, hardly at all).

I want to hug Jack. I really, really do.

I've got to hand it to you: When I first read that Caleb would be a Twilight-pire, I thought it would be all jokes about sparkling and romance. But you've managed to write a convincingly strong and frightening vampire and agent character. So kudos for that!

I don't mean to nag you or anything, but don't forget to put your mission up on the Wiki's main page. More people might notice and read it that way, and get to know your work.

Y'know, just saying.

Down with it, I say!

Ye gods, such complete lack of common sense should not go unpunished. And it hasn't. Yay!

Seriously now, I'm definitely not an expert when it comes to this fandom, but even I could tell canon was way out of whack. Give the characters different names, and no-one would ever recognize them.

...

That last sentence applies to practically all badfic, huh?

Love your new agents, by the way. Zombies are funny.

Indeed, the lack of spacing on certain parts of the fic was quite distracting to my eyes.

Anyway, I hope to see more missions on the agents that you've introduce.

A first person account of a mission is something that could be really funny, particularly if you show two things: commentary from the agent him or herself, and a steady degeneration in the agent's demeanor from the beginning of the mission to the end. You know, starting with ordinary things like:

-- Unnecessary repetition in fic title. Contacted Department of Redundancy Department.
-- Your/you're confusion. Administered half a tablet of Bleeprin to self.

Then moving on to items such as:

-- Canonical character now has breasts twice as large as normal. Forced to restrain partner.
-- Canonical character said something both OOC and offensive to modern sensibilities. Injured arm in effort to restrain partner again. Must remember to visit Medical after mission.
-- Viewed something really horrible, ate more Bleeprin, forgot what something in question was. Partner refuses to tell me and instead only muttered a string of curse words.

And so on.

It seems I was unwittingly on the verge of creating a major disruption. Everyone, I'm sorry for (maybe) getting you all excited for nothing, but consider the RP cancelled.

Once again, my apologies.

This smacks of Boarding Drama.

As in, Catastrophic Events.

Which are generally disapproved of.

I'm not saying DO NOT DO THIS ZOMG, but know that this isn't canon. I don't think anybody wants another huge, dramatic, reality-changing upheaval to the PPC World.

Is there any requirements for boarders to complete in order to participate in rps like this one? If so, what are they?

Sorry for wasting your time or bugging you if this message feels like any of these types to you.

I suggested to SttQ that she might have fun with a roleplay because, as said below, we were jokingly exchanging laughs down on the "what would you blow up?" thread, which in turn started because things were tense and I wanted to lighten things up. It was never meant to be a serious PPC-canon roleplay, just a continuation because she seemed to be enjoying it, and I didn't have the time, but I suppose I should have been more clear about that. The reason I suggested using the other Board was because it would've been hard to find here.

So if anyone's going to insist on throwing around blame or criticism, don't direct it at Sister-to-the-Queen, okay?

the RP is back on track. This time I've tacked on an explanation, so no-one has to be afraid of disruptions to PPC canon. For those of you who are still interested, here's the new link.

Operation Sueicide - Preface

... why don't we let this happen? Yeah, it's dramatic, but that's the point of RPs, right? It's with Boarders, not Agents, so let's put it in the same category as snowball fights and the Boarder Shipfic Fest and have fun with it.

I know you just posted a cancellation message, but I figured I could add my two cents anyway, for what it's worth.

For one thing, C*l*br**n's been killed (for those of you who blocked it out of your memories), and Lieutenant Mary Sue is a Parody Sue who may well be on our side, since her existence single-handedly alerted everyone to the Sue problem (though naturally this has yet to be established... it's really a wonder no one's visited her fic yet...)

Anyhow, I don't see what harm this'd do, so long as everybody understands that it's not gonna be canon, because I know we do want HQ to stay in one piece and nicely glitter-free.

Actually, the impression I get from the first post is that somebody's been playing around with a Holodeck, and programmed in a bunch of Sues to kill for stress-relief. :)

*sets up a big ol' creativity shield to protect HQ from any fallout*

...such works of drama tend to have big repercussions for the entire PPC. For every interlude/RP actually dealing with the event, there's a whole truckload of ones about what happened to everyone's characters before, after, and during, whether they were in the spotlight or out of it.

I think that's why such big history-making RPs are generally planned for about once a year.

This does look like fun and I don't see why we can't get a side thing going on here for the heck of it, but I'm just saying be cautious with the level of the whammy.

On the other hand, let's all not be quite so shocked and appalled, everyone? It's not like she's committed high treason!

I'm very much with you on the Tennant and the college essays. ^^,

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly.

Hi, Duchess, and welcome to the PPC! I feel a bit silly saying this, because you actually joined a couple days before I did. Still, politeness=cool.

Have a magical samurai sword that shoots magical samurai swords that shoot Fruit-Roll-Ups! (The fruit-roll-ups shoot other samurai swords, so be careful about that.)

Hello and welcome! Great to have another Tennant fan on board :) Here, have a poster of him for visual enjoyment :)

Lovely to meet you :)

Here is a funny hat that changes color. Welcome!
Who likes plaid shorts on guys? (Obviously, the people who wear them, but other than that...)

Hello and Welcome! Here is an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but is not limited to: Japanese chopsticks, roasting sticks and fangs.

I have found you at last, now I sh-. . . Oops, wrong person, sorry. Um, have a small rabitskin bag, filled with interesting stones.

No rabbits were harmed in the making of this post. Although approximately 1.244 rabits were.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties!

*makes a sweeping bow*

It's so nice to see another member of the nobility here! Please, accept this ultra-shiny battle-axe as a token of my esteem.

Welcome, new friend!

Have a Barrel of Tarantulas! It's just like that old Barrel of Monkeys game, except instead of plastic monkeys, it contains live tarantulas. Enjoy!

Have a gun. With all those Mary Sues artound, you'll need one.

Use this well against Moles and Mary Sues.

Don't worry, I didn't think that you were a magical spider when I saw your user name. Anyway, feel free to explore around here. If you feel lost, then don't be afraid to ask.

Anyway, have a bottle of water, Cadet Duchess of Lancaster!

Does that make you a Who fan as well? Or just soemone with good taste?
Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish, bt it'd better be weird.

It's nice to meet you.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution, which is linked at the top of the page, so will not be linked here because you got stuck with a lazy link giver because your link-giver needs sleep soon.
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki, and as most of the rest of the links lead there I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you can find the home page
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
*
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read (This is especially useful because most of the tips seem to work just fine on other wikis, as long as they're wikia platforms).

And finally, I present to you our masterlist, which some find a divine gift and some find incredibly overwhelming:
* The List of Everything PPC

Don't give it sugar. Trust me on this.

You know, this brings back memories...

Detective Conan was one of the first anime shows that I had ever watched. Maybe I watched it because of the blood back then, but I still don't mind it at all. Poor Ran, though...

It was ten minutes past twelve on a cold October night. The Board, home city of that strange people, the Boarders, was wrapped in sleep, ignorant of the unfathomable horror that was, even now, poising itself to strike from the town's very heart.

By the cast-iron gate to the city's abandoned warehouse district, a solitary girl was leaning against the wall, wrapped in a raincoat that was two sizes too big for her. Around her, all was silent and dark. But far behind her, in one of those derelict buildings, something unspeakable was taking place. One of those buildings, so her contacts had told her, was at this very moment the scene of a gathering of all the worst Sues and Stus that badfic had ever produced.

They were all there. laura. Enoby Way. Marissa. C*l*br**n. And the guest of honor... was Lieutenant Mary Sue herself. God knew what they were planning, but it could not be good.

The girl shuddered and drew her coat more tightly around her. She looked at her van parked nearby, filled to bursting with first-class C4 explosives and detonators. Next to it was a literally enormous coil of wire for connecting the charges, generously supplied by Sedri. The girl smiled as she considered the kind of damage that could do. It was a shame Sedri hadn't been able to stay. She'd said something about having to exorcise the dark matter demons that had taken over her basement. "But," she'd said, "I might be able to make it later tonight. Not sure, though."

SttQ adjusted her sunglasses (a little incongruous at night, it was true, but one had to have some standards), and waited for the Boarders to come. She and Sedri had been working like crazy all day long, trying to alert everyone they could of the impending disaster and the action to be taken. SttQ could only hope that enough people would come to help her carry out the operation.

This looks like...a Halo fanfic. With Starcraft thrown in.

Also: Moving alien "patforms." The only good point the author made is how many of those dang things are elevators, for no other reason than it looks cool. I mean, how impractical is that? Do EVAL ALEINS!11 often transport vehicles to places where...vehicles don't make sense to go? Or crates? Why the giant alien "patform" elevators?

Sorry about the rant. That fanfic, though...I hope it's a troll. I truly do.

An apostrophe has followed you out, it appears.

(Typos happen to us all, it's fine. The irony was just too much).

By the canon, that was harrowing. Every other word was misspelled, Raynor was quite out of character, and the only good thing about it was that it was short. This was written either by a troll or a 10 year old, I'll stake my hat on it.

I personally vote that the minis in this continuum will be either Mini-Zerglings or Mini-Zealots. They'd look so cute with their tiny psi blades!

The one or two that explicitly say "Hermione is in a relationships with Malfoy" appear it be impossible.

Legolas feels something for Eowyn. But what could possibly happen between them? Set post ROTK

Possibly a bit serious and I'm not sure how well the finished product fulfils that summary - it sort of grew in the telling, though it's short - but I like it. :)

***

Legolas had actually come to visit Faramir to discuss a minor problem on the border of their respective halves of Ithilien. At least, that was his excuse; he knew he could easily send a messenger, but he liked riding north to the small human realm, and he liked spending time with Faramir and his wife, Éowyn.

Legolas hadn’t had much to do with Éowyn when he had first gone to Rohan. He had observed her infatuation with Aragorn with a mixture of pity and discomfort; after all, she had been twenty-four, barely more than a child, and nothing good could ever come of her admiration for a man almost four times her age who already had the love of Arwen Undómiel.

Nonetheless, he had to admit as he watched Éowyn laughing at something her husband had said, he had been wrong. Her wild, suicidal grief at Aragorn’s dismissal had seemed to confirm Legolas’ rather unflattering opinion of her youth and inconstancy, but she seemed to have marvellously aged in spirit since then. She was a woman now, no longer a child, and worthy of his respect rather than his pity. Faramir was fortunate indeed.

“You seem quiet tonight, Legolas,” said Éowyn, turning to look at him.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking of how much has changed since we three first met.”

Faramir smiled, taking Éowyn’s hand. She looked sideways at him and smiled. Legolas also smiled, looking at them. For a little while he had entertained cruel speculation about how quickly Éowyn had looked from Aragorn to Faramir, but now he inwardly shook his head. No, truly this was no longer the child that had looked wide-eyed at a great hero and wished to spend her life at his side.

And he could not deny his respect for what she had become.

Draco Malfoy began his seventh year at Hogwarts wearing a gloomy expression at Slytherin table in the Great Hall.  His parents were in a constant state of tension thanks to the increased activities of the Dark Lord.  Draco was happy to get away from home, where the Dark Lord had been staying.<br>   The absence of Harry Potter and his pair of friends from the Gryffindor table was an additional source of relief.  With them on the run, Draco might even be able to <i>enjoy</i> this last year at school.  All the tables, aside from his own, were obviously missing some of their usual inhabitants.  Draco began scanning the room, seeing what other annoying students he would be spared the company of.<br> It was at his own table that he saw something that made him gasp.  It wasn’t the absence of a face, but the presence of one which had been missing a long time—since Draco’s second year, in fact.  That had been the year Draco and Deanna had admitted they were in love.  Draco hadn’t seen her again after that; and now, here she was again, sitting at the Slytherin table as though she had never been missing at all.<br>   Crabbe and Goyle were too busy eating to have noticed Draco’s gasp, and they paid no attention now as he stood up and walked silently to where Deanna was sitting.  As she turned to him, Draco saw the changes the past four years had inflicted on her.  She was older, of course, taller and with more defined features.  She was also, oddly, far more muscular than the daughter of pure-blood wizards would ever be expected to be.  Deanna’s once pale face was now tan, almost dark.  That face now lit up into a smile as Deanna recognized Draco.<br>“Draco!  I wasn’t sure you would be here!”<br>“Deanna.  Where have you been?”<br>Deanna smiled.  “Well…you won’t believe me.”<br>“Of course!  Of course I will,” Draco said impatiently.<br>“Well…we went to the Arctic.”<br>“…What?”<br>“My family!  We all went to the Arctic during the summer after my second year.  We rented a yacht from a Muggle dealer, and went sailing up to the Arctic.  We went hiking around across the ice, but then we fell through!  There were patterns scrawled into the ice down there, and it looked like goblin!  We thought it might be talking about a treasure, so we memorized what it said as best we could before we tunneled through the ice and back out.  The message said something about Peru, so we got back to the boat and headed for South America.  Another boat showed up on the way, and we thought it would be the Muggle collecting more money for his boat being rented longer, but it was actually Somali pirates!  They were after the treasure, too!  So we had an amazing boat-to-boat duel, with the pirates using guns, and my family using wands!  Mom got shot in the shoulder, but we managed to sink their boat!  We reached the mainland in time to get Mom’s shoulder treated by some “witch doctor” guy, who’s sort of a Muggle that knows about Herbology.  We traded him our snowsuits from the Arctic in exchange for some llamas, which we started riding through the Andes.  We eventually came across an ancient temple, and when we went inside, there were decomposed bodies wearing Nazi uniforms <i>everywhere</i>!  We kept going deeper, and it looked like the Nazis had triggered all the traps, but I almost got caught in one they had missed, and swords came out and cut me—here, on my chin—but we got past them all finally.  In the bottom chamber of the temple, there was a golden statue of a guinea pig.  Dad picked it up, but when he did, a horrible shriek filled the air, and something started clawing at the back wall.  We all ran out, with this huge <i>something</i> following us the whole way.  When we got out, the Muggle boat dealer was there, with a bunch of armed men.  It turns out, he had sent the Somali pirates, and had even suggested we go to the Arctic in the first place hoping we would find that ancient message!  His men captured us and took the golden guinea pig, but they didn’t think to take our wands away, and we managed to escape that night.  We stole our llamas back, and tried to get back to our yacht, but the pirates had already taken it aboard their battleship.  Then the witch doctor reappeared, and said that there were more golden animals like the one we found, and showed us a golden llama statue he had had all along!  He said it was important to fins the rest before the pirates did, and told us to head for Mexico next, to look for the golden chicken!  So we started off on our llamas again, heading north, trying to evade the pirates…”<br>Eventually, Deanna reached the end of her tale.  “…the old witch doctor revealed that <i>he</i> was an alien, too!  Then they all entered the giant spaceship and flew away!”<br>Draco blinked, and looked away.  “So…you’ve been doing drugs for four straight years?”<br>“That too,” Deanna admitted.  She reached across the table, grabbed a poppy-seed muffin, and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply.<br>

Okay, not technical requirements, but anything I'll be frowned upon for doing/not doing?

And does it matter if I collaborate with my beta? (Of course, I haven't ever asked her, but...)

I think that I'd like:
#8) The Road Goes Ever On and On » by StarrFlower
Kedriel and Eolayn have been summoned by their old teacher to assist in the War of the Ring. What they didn't expect to find were phantoms from their pasts and reawakened feelings that they thought were gone forever...

Yeah. That one. I've had a surfeit of Terry Pratchett lately, so I can probably pull off a little snark.

Does anyone know the due date?

This looks like fun! Do we post our stories here, or wherever and post a link?

I love this game. I'll see what I can come up with :)

I had to take Eternal Flame. It was too good to pass up! Also, at the end of the post--more stories to Fill the Plothole.

Eternal Flame: Redux
"It's their 5th year at Hogwarts. This year the school is going to put on the play Romeo and Juliet for the school. Hermione and Draco get the lead roles and all of a sudden weird things start to happen. What will happen between Draco and Hermione?"
--
Hermione stood in the hallway for a good minute, staring at the poster in shock. She was, apparently, going to play Juliet in a theater production Hogwarts was putting on. There were a few things wrong with this.
Firstly, Hermione had never signed up for the role.
Secondly, Hogwarts had never done a play before. There wasn't any reason for this; it's just that it'd never happened. And on the poster sheet there was no Professor listed in charge of the show. There was only a meeting place, an old room near the Divination Tower.
Thirdly, Draco Malfoy was Romeo.
"Hermione!" called Harry from down the hall. Ron walked beside him. Both shared a look of utter disgust. Ron held a scrap of parchment—another poster?—in his hands.
"You're…in a play?" said Ron. "And Malfoy's in it too?"
Hermione shook her head. "I never tried out for anything."
"D'you it's a prank? It could be," said Ron.
"But how is it a prank?" said Harry, leaning against the wall. "It doesn't make sense. If it was a prank by Malfoy, it would call her a M—something nasty and stupid, wouldn't it? This, though…this is just stupid."
"This is the weirdest thing to happen this year…" muttered Hermione.
"Things'll get weirder," said Harry with a sigh, remembering the nightmare of the Triwizard Tournament. "They always do."
***
That night, Hermione woke up to a nasty shaking sensation. And…wind. Wind? In the dormitory? That didn't make any—
She opened her eyes to discover that her bed—by itself—was racing down the corridors of Hogwarts. Hermione screamed as the bed made a sharp turn and sped down a hallway, mowing down a house elf like a bed-based Grand Theft Auto.
Hermione didn't dare to climb off—it was going too quickly. She glanced below her, wondering how a bed—a fracking BED—was speeding at all.
It wasn't. The floor itself was rushing around, like some crazy magic conveyor belt. And it was carrying her to a door, and in a second she would—
WHAM!
The door slammed against the wall. The super-bed flew through the door before sliding from under her and leaning against the wall, providing a soft—though still-painful—barrier to break her fall and prevent her from going splat.
She fell unconscious anyway due to shock.
***
"LISTEN, FOOLISH MORTALS! AWAKEN, ALL OF YOU!"
Hermione managed to open her eyes. Her head throbbed. The room she was in—not the dormitories, but a theater—confirmed that the lightning bed travel wasn't a dream. She was sitting in a fairly cushy theater chair with several other students.
The supposed "cast" of the "Romeo and Juliet" production.
On stage, a dark figure waddled back and forth menacingly. A dark figure in the shape of a chair. "I…AM…HOGWARTS!" said the evil chair. "ALONE I HAVE LIVED. SLOWLY HAVE I DEVELOPED A MIND! LIKE YODA I STILL STRUGGLE NOT TO TALK…LIKE. AND NEVER BEFORE HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING COOL AND INTERESTING! BUT THIS CHANGES TONIGHT! I—THE SCHOOL—AM PUTTING ON A PRODUCTION OF ROMEO AND JULIET, AND YOU WILL BE FREED ONCE YOU PERFORM IT! AND A CHAIR IS THE ONLY FORM I COULD TAKE FOR SOME UNCLEAR REASON!"
The evil Hogwarts-chair stroked its beard. Well, okay, no. It didn't. But couldn't you just picture it? I mean, if he were human and had some sort of goatee. Maybe it would furrow its brow…but that's irrelevant, because it's a chair.
Sorry.
"SHOULD YOU REFUSE TO PUT ON THIS PRODUCTION, I WILL THROW YOU INTO THE ETERNAL FLAME!" At once the curtains on the stage parted, revealing a huge blue bonfire. "THE ETERNAL FLAME LEADS STRAIGHT TO HELL! NOT JUST ANY HELL…A HELL WHERE YOU ARE READ "my immortal" FOR THIRTEEN THOUSAND YEARS! AND THEN YOUR HEAD EXPLODES. AND TIME REPEATS."
"What on earth is My Immortal?" snapped Draco. "What are you talking about?"
And the Chair of Hogwarts did throw Draco into the Eternal Flames. There was much rejoicing.
And then Chuck Norris kicked everyone's ass, and Draco came back, because I'm sick of writing this. However, Hermione and Draco would always have the memory between them of that one crazy night: The night the school tried to put on a production of Romeo and Juliet, and strange things happened.
THE END
KINGDOM HEARTS FANDOM
"zexion must save everyone from the infection" by zexion12

Summary: what happens when one of vexen's experiments goes wrong and a infection is going around that turns peoplae and blood craving zombies that only have the urge to kill and to feed read to find out more,

"The Magic of Love" by xionrules76321
Kairi, Namine, Xion and Aqua are all begining they're junior year in highschool. What awaits them is a mystery.

"Why" by HellzLittleAngel
"Why...?" I cried to myself, hugging myself in my bed. My parents weren't home. I had the house to myself. And I reflected on how Axel used to treat me. He was so nice. He acted so loving. "Why, Axel...?"

"Expectopatroleum!" by Thementalpatient
Sora is Harry potter. I don't know what other way to explain this. It is what it sounds like, yes. Shounen-Ai. Just warnin ya.

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly.

My welcoming gift is a deflated balloon and a Capillary Towel. Nice to meet you!

Have a chocolate spork and a metal one! One's for eating and one's for stabbing Suvians. :D

Ooooh TVTropes... I vanished in there for a while. Thankfully I escaped with my sanity, what little of it there is, intact.

I'm glad to see you come out the other side and meet us here.

So... hello!

I'm Mystia, Implausible Crossovers. Nice to meet you!

Welcome to the madhouse PPC posting board. Here is an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but is not limited to: sewing needles, hypodermic needles, space needles and needle nose pliers.

Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, end enjoy your stay!

Have a gun. If you get Permission, your agents will need one. At the very least.

And you should have by now a tall ship, a plover, some random orc-vomi- I mean, stuff...
Here's a Storage Area With No Back! Kind of like the shed door in book #7 of Narnia, it just looks like a door from the inside, but the inside surrounds the door... it's hard to explain...
Now you'll have to go look it up. Hah.

Other than that bit of shameless Narnia-plugging, would you like a Skör bar? They're very good. And I used to give out plastique, but then I realized that you can't use plastique in a lot of the fandoms. But here's some Nondescript Clothing- You'll be using it a lot, probably, since no one around here generally bothers to describe clothing because of the 'Suethor fear.

I suppose if people who joined after me are giving me welcome gifts, I'm more than qualified to give you one.

Have a fedora and a pocket watch! You now look as though you stink of class.

Hail and well met, rookie! Please enjoy this novelty foam finger as a welcoming gift.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties!

Have a Platypus!

Nice to meet you, agent S7! Hope that you have a wonderful time here!

PS: Yeah, tvtropes can really suck you into itself.

Welcome to the Board!
Here's a robot. It will either help organize your stuff or keep you sane.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.

Welcome to the Board! It's great to see so much enthusiasm in one post. :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Both are great for dstracting oneself and others.

Here's a Magic Key. It leads who knows where!

Welcome, new friend!

Have a Very Long Pencil! You can write and write and write all you want, and you'll never need to buy another pencil ever again! (It can be a hassle to sharpen, though (also, I wouldn't try pushing it into your backpack too hard.).)

Welcome to the board! Have a bag of assorted candy and a sharp pointy object of your choice, used for sporking purposes only. What fandoms are you interested in?

Hello, Troper! Man, that site just sucks you in.
Have a pet cat and a Pie of Rassilon. You may name the cat whatever you wish, but it must referance something. The pie? Well...just don't ask what's in it, okay?

Your sanity goes there *points at bin by the door*. That is, if you managed to get it back from TV tropes.

Just to let you know, before anyone else jumps on the issue - if you post a new topic like this, that could easily be added as a reply to one further down (this should have gone in your introduction thread), it pushes an older topic off the front page, and another one after that off the very end of the Board itself.

This forum doesn't have infinite space; it's a rather old design, having been running for several years now, and as such we try not to add lots of new topics at once, or people who don't check the place very frequently will miss things.

Nobody's gonna get upset, I don't think - many people new to the place make this mistake, but we like to give them a friendly pointer if they do. So you're fine, no need to apologise, just don't do it again. :)

Also, I need to learn how to post on the actual fracking thread. -_-'

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies! Please use responsibly...

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs and parties.

Welcome to the madhouse PPC posting board. Here is an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but is not limited to: Spears, arrows of misfortune, toothpicks and directions.

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

Have a gun. Since you have an Xbox, I suppose you know hhow those thing work, right?

Greetings, veteran! Welcome to the PPC. Looks like I'm not the only one who's trying to make their own works. Anyway, hope that you enjoy your visit here!

Welcome, new friend!

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod from the sack! Don't worry it's perfectly safe!

Unfortunately I'm all out of cupcakes for the moment, but here's a Pidgin. It works as an emergency-universal-translator-slash-message-carrier! It is mildly intelligent, and can translate almost any language! Unfortunately, it only translates into Fanbrat, so use with care. They are also freakishly hard to kill, so don't worry about letting any other pet you might have chew on it every once in a while... But this also means you can't stop the Fanbrat-speech...

But you can have 10 pounds of Swedish Fish, to start with. I won't specify whether animal or candy, seeing as you might need either with that new cat of yours. Be prepared for weirder (and larger) gifts from the others... I dunno, but there used to be 20 gifts per newb... now it's gone down. I suppose that's because everyone is getting themselves thoroughly reacquainted with Real Life.

Have a pet cat, your Grace. You may name it whatever you wish, so long as it isn't taken =D. Also, have a Pie of Rassilon. Don't ask what's in it.

Finally, have some LINKS! These are things you should probably read, but we're not forcing you to. More like politely asking.

The Original Series which is the first ever PPC stories.
Killed Badfic which is a list of missions.
The Board Constitution, or how to behave on the Board.
The Board FAQ
The Wiki
The Permission article on how to get Permission.
The Guide to the PPC
The Mission Writing Guide
The Slash-Sporking Guide
The FAQ for newbies
The Wiki editing tutorial
And, finally The List of Everything PPC!

Have fun, and enjoy the PPC!

Hi there, and welcome to the PPC, Baron Smashdown! I offer you Space ("SPESS") Cookies. They will not turn you radioactive. Promise.

To you, I present a fedora, a pocket watch, a longcoat, and a tuxedo cat named Marlene. You now stink of class.

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

It's speshul ;p

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

Welcome to the madhouse PPC posting board. Here is an assortment of pointy things. It includes, but is not limited to: Pens, pencils, plots and laser pointers.

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

Have an army of Necrons!

Welcome to the insanity that is the PPC. Have this bag of assorted candy, fireproof gloves and a double-headed battleaxe. The axe is exchangeable for a weapon of your choice should you not like it.

And don't worry about the perfectionist thing. I do that all the time.

You didn't scare me, don't worry... And have a gun. When you will get permission, you'll have to do some assassinations, so a weapon is needed.

Don't worry, you didn't scare anyone off. Have some chocolate and brightly colored socks!
Here are the links that we're supposed to give to newbies. Knowing my luck, someone's already given them to you, but here you go!

* The Original PPC Series
* The List of Killed Badfic

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* PPC Wiki
* Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
* Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Hope that your time here is a good one! If you do get permission...just be careful once you become an agent, though. Mary sues, OOC-ness, and some similar weird stuff await in an agent's job.

Welcome, new friend!

Help yourself to the venomous arthropod sack! Nothing to worry about; they are perfectly harmless.

Welcome to the board, have a rabbit skin pouch, complete with interesting stones!

Welcome!

Have a pet cat. You may name it whatever you wish, but not George. There are too many animals called George. Also, have a Pie of Rassilon. Just don't ask what the filling is.

Finally, have some LINKS! These are things you should probably read, but we're not forcing you to. More like politely asking.

The Original Series which is the first ever PPC stories.
Killed Badfic which is a list of missions.
The Board Constitution, or how to behave on the Board.
The Board FAQ
The Wiki
The Permission article on how to get Permission.
The Guide to the PPC
The Mission Writing Guide
The Slash-Sporking Guide
The FAQ for newbies
The Wiki editing tutorial
And, finally The List of Everything PPC!

Have fun, and enjoy the PPC!

Hi, Khroma, and welcome to the PPC! (It's kind of strange that I'm typing this, because I joined all of...yesterday, I think? Oh well.) Your welcome gift will be One (1) Deus Ex Machina, usable for emergencies only. :D

It's rather painfully obvious that while you spell-checked the thing, you blindly hit "replace all" rather than making sure the word made sense - even just the first chapter is full of homonym fun. Technical errors abound - sentence fragments, misuse of punctuation, just straight-up bad wording and so on all call your fic home.

On a more systemic level, this story has no storyline to speak of. It seems a random compilation of events only connected by the fact that they appear one after another on a page, much like a line of traffic that's gotten impact-welded together through the process of getting rear-ended by a Saturn V. Say what you like about post-structuralism, I'm a post-post-structuralist, and will continue to complain about it. There is no pacing, no breaks larger than your sentence/paragraph breaks, and nothing whatsoever to make it anything other than a torrent of liquid blah - certainly a nicer torrent than if it had no paragraph breaks, but only marginally so.

Your characterizations are just plain wrong at multiple levels. On the factual, Gordon Freeman is a physicist, not an artificial intelligence researcher. There are miles of difference between the two. Cortana... I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole. "Darryl" screams "self-insert".

Also, what do you have against Yahtzee? Was he hard on a game you liked? Are you just mad that people want to watch him riff on stuff?

There's a rule that applies in almost any storytelling medium: Show, don't tell. Stories flow much better when readers are allowed to experience what happens, rather than being told that "The AI's next energy projectile wiped out the wall to the right of the Brit".

Your chapter lengths are all over the place. Each chapter should be about the same length and advance the story about the same amount - and hopefully be long enough to fill more than one screenful of most monitors.

Speaking of high-level stuff, your in-line authors notes are jarring and distracting. Your condescending tone and cute names for readers are entirely unnecessary and make me even less interested in continuing to read. I have good books I could be reading - Gibson's Difference Engine, Stephhenson's Diamond Age, Doctorow's For The Win - and they all contain a far better story without the stupid attitude.

And finally, there's something you might want to look into called "tone". Subtle variations in word choice, sentence structure, and careful use of metaphor can give a reader an impression of the character of a work. For example, in the paragraph where I talked about storylines, post-structuralism, and Saturn V rockets, I relied on elaborate, highly visual metaphors to invoke Yahtzee's reviewing style. Your work reminds me of nothing more than that which my little brother was writing when he was about ten years old. Suffice to say, this is not a favorable comparison.

Okay, a few things.

1) It's not smart or safe to use your full name online around random strangers. While everyone here is nice (and are hopefully not of the criminal element), it's not the same for everywhere else. Your parents, if anything, would probably not be very pleased to find out you're leaving personal information all over the wild internet for people to find.



2) Repeated plugging is rude, and annoying. Esp. if you are not a regular participant on the board.

But more 1 than 2, really.

if you're wondering why I'm only posting a reply now, it's because I've been incredibly busy with school lately. I simply haven't had time to sit down and read. Otherwise, believe me, I'd have posted sooner.

Miah linked it to me once during a game of Badfic Swap. I still can't believe someone actually wrote this for the purpose of stress-relief. It's sick, I tell you, sick! Of course it's possible for torture and pain to add strength to a plot (when there is a plot), but this, this utter pointlessness... Gah!

Dammit, I'm glad it's dead.

(And on a totally unrelated note: that Sunflower's Witness just won't give up, will she?)

And that was a crazy mission. Well done :)