Aug 2010 Archive, part c

Have a sonic screwdriver and some jelly babies, please use responsibly.

How do you get the text so tiny?

Plus, a warning: even geeky, comfortably humorous groups have rules, and things that people frown upon, and stuff, so check out the constitution and don't post half a dozen threads a day.

Other than that, I'm your fellow newbie, so let's be new and awkward together...

Here have this, you'llfeel more confident with a phased pulse rifle in hand.

Here is a book: How To Feel Confident Introducing Yourself to a Board Full of People Who Write About Assassins.
Just in case you need to do it again.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Have a mobile hologram emitter.

It currently contains a flock of wild tape dispensers, so be careful. Those things can be territorial!

Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Fair winds!
Now you can throw BBQs.

May I say you seem to have amazing taste in books :)

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish, but watch out - he's a biter!

Hello Fellow Newbie! :D

I am not good at this either. I am the insane killer with a smile. :D

Here! Have a carving knife! Lets be creative!~ ^___^

Do not feed it Mary-Sues.

I love your choice of fandoms. :D Tolkien and PTerry *holy horns* are win. Welcome to the Board!

I hereby present you with a welcoming gift of a bag of pebbles (very good for throwing at Sues or other annoying creatures) and a Random Shiny Object (very good for distractions).

Here's to hoping you enjoy it here!

Don't worry; lack of perfect introductory skills won't condemn you to everlasting exile. :)

Nice to meet you!


(Also, don't listen to Neshomeh's modesty - she deserves that praise. Hear that, Nesh?)

*poke* Welcome! What with Tolkien and Discworld, you've got just about everything you need to get most of the in-jokes and get along very well here. {= )

To help you out with learning everything else, here follows the List of Links we give (in some form or another) to every newbie. (This time I've ganked them from Sedri's last newbie-welcoming post.) In short, they are a bunch of 'Go Read This Now Please' URLs that actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we usually assume you've already read. (Have you?)
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial (Sedri's words, not mine! *blush*).

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

And that's about it. Enjoy!

~Neshomeh

Oh, and do you want the mini-Luggage Diskworld for your Agents?

Enjoy this steaming cup of House Roac hot chocolate. The whipped cream is unfortunately not included.

Please enjoy this vintage bottle of Bleepka and silver flask as a welcoming gift!

Welcome, new friend! Someone will be along shortly with all kind of fun links. In the meantime, help yourself to a venomous arthropod from the sack!

But Rose/Ross have a Kbifm, which was the result of horrible spelling while said Agent(s) were kinda S(t)u(e)'d. It's a knife which can sort of try to correct Suethor misspellings. That's the closest that I can think of on this score...

And pretty funny too. Mirkwood spidey, right?

I love the art and their faces. 'Can't wait for more!

I so shared in Legolas' smile.

Love it.

How the PPC works in eight
panels.

How the PPC works in six panels.

Very direct - its cuts out all of the Sue's excuses and makes it very, very clear how awful she is. I like how, when I look at the second 'normal' Legolas, he almost looks relieved :)

Took a look there myself just now. Tried the pairing generator a couple of times.

Someone, for pity's sake, hand me a bucket.

Have you seen the ridiculous elf/hobbit ones? Especially the Fellowship hobbit's wives and daughters with Arwen and them... it's not even laughable it's just sick. They even have this generator that gives the weirdest possible pairings ever. And they're PROUD of it! Eek!

Faramir and Shagrat oh my brain...

Dont feed her Sues.

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly. ^^,

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly!

Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Don't worry, the month I waited for Permission was the longest month of my entire life. That was April. I still haven't posted my first mission yet.

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Welcome, new friend!

In honor of your lunar username, have a crescent moon, a full moon, a harvest moon, a bad moon (it's on the rise), a blood moon, Sailor Moon, a moon-shaped Lucky Charms marshmallow, the moon with the ridiculous face from that one Legend of Zelda game, and Remus Lupin.

Please accept this perfectly ordinary and not at all suspicious fob watch as a welcoming present.

Welcome! It's lovely to meet you. As an apology for the bruises that poke will have left you with, I give you a fruit bat and a yoyo. Treasure them always.

The month-long wait is often painful, and I'd apologise for it except that it works; I'm sure you'll manage. In the meantime, might I ask what fandoms you like?


Also, in case you haven't seen it on other greet-the-newbie posts yet, here is The List Of Links, which are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw out often since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Assuming:
--They actually have a reason to fight
--They both have time to prepare, to even out the higher preparation time required for spellcasting for Nita, and to let Hermione use her 1337 Research Skillz
-They don't immediately forget about fighting and start comparing their respective systems of magic

Neither one is allowed to call on allies.

Who wins?

I think I already said my money's on Cluny if he goes against mortal Drip, as Drip's a serial rapist who, according to what I've seen of canon, only kills women he attacks, who are presumably helpless. Cluny has battle experience, and as was mentioned before, a frickin poison tail barb. Now Demon-Drip, on the other hand, would have a much better chance, but I'd still say Cluny, simply because he's better equipped and Drip doesn't have much in the way of power. His only advantage would therefore be size.

I propose my own, now. Joel Calley (with Miranda's help) from the webcomic Concession versus Damien from El Goonish Shive.

But as I have no real knowledge of either of your combatants, I will pose a fight of my own.

100 Red Shirts (Star Trek) vs. 100 Stormtroopers (Star Wars)

I've never read the Redwall series, but I'm pretty sure Cluny the Scourge is some kind of warrior. Drip was just a crazy murderer in life, who controlled his victims with threats. That wouldn't work on Cluny, and Cluny has the advantage of combat training that mortal!Drip couldn't match.

I don't know anything about Drip, so I'd have to say Cluny by default.

I will bring up that his habit of wearing a poisonous spike on his tail would probably end up being a lethal surprise to his opponents. Is there a restriction on weapons or armor?

I rather like reading about Xericka and Gremlin. I love Gremlin's personality. The story with Lux, and the way that Gremlin killed the Stu were both great. Oh! And the knocking over a plant and grabbing a Nurse's posterior--but only one--was very funny.

Something I'm going to show a friend of mine, who is a Doctor Who fan and studying Chaucer as part of her PhD. I'll report back with her reactions.

...that's what it is. It is someone trying to sound intelectual and witty, and...I don't know what else.

But it is bad...evil even.

Oh, and it's slash...just as an icing on the cake.

I'm not even telling you how you're going to die.

*jumps troll from behind*

Troll: RAZOR'D!

That'll teach you to bump other people's posts off the forum with your crap!

Also, hasn't the chain of letters "u kicw ur" shown up pretty frequently?

*smites troll with electrified baseball bat*

*aims stolen sonic screwdriver* Get out, or I fire.

Get out! OUT, I SAY!

Is there no end to these things? Where's my bat?

*THWACK*

*grabs trumpet case(with said instrument inside)* DEATH TO TROLLS! *beats over the head*

I've been avoiding deleting troll posts due to the interesting commentary they spark, but further trollage will be deleted on sight.

In the meanwhile, *whacks troll with banhammer*

*As Big Bad Space Marine of DOOM*

Loading...

BFG 9000...

Aim and...

*insert massive, earth-shattering explosion*

And another job well done! Time for a beer...

(

vubawecuxwa!fnUK,XIN UA RGW Qt ri fi

vubawecuxwa!fnUK,XIN

becomes

binservices!gmIn,com is the wy to

binservices!gmIn,com

With a little spacing and imagination, that becomes:

bin services! GM income is the way to... and then it starts to repeat.

No idea what that proves, except that it actually produced a lot of real words.

...I'm gonna need a bigger spork gun.

*troll photo-negatives*

*thwacks with a bat* Leave! Leave, damn you!

*pulls out his RSEG and tries to fire at the troll*

Didn't work.. wait, a troll is not a sue, a Random Sue Execution Gun is not the right weapon... *smashes troll's head with his old, now officially retired computer*

We must have this foul impersonator tracked down and blocked from our unholy halls!

In the meantime...

*beats troll about the head repeatedly with a sack of pebbles*

In the name of the Real Me, I hereby Wait a minute, I'm respectable? Since when? *stabs the Doppleganger in the face and kicks it a bit for good measure*

I swear to Eru, StarClan, Glaux, Mithros, and any other deities not mentioned! Didn't we deal with one of you not a month back? *whack*whack*whack* Out, out, out! No imitating actual Boarders!

*sigh*

Now, where's that double-thick frying pan of mine? Ah, here it is...

*THWACK*

STOP IMITATING A RESPECTABLE PPC BOARDER!

Sorry about being a bit late... Have a special edition engraved sonic screwdriver with multicolored jelly babies!

Have some Convenient Cake, a lovely fleece blanket anda tulip :)

You can't really use them against Sues except in videogames, but, hey, they're really fun to use against trolls (see Sister-to-the-Queen's example).

I don't think I've given you a scarf, yet, so here it is!

Agent Miah brings in a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf. Cali adds a bag of jelly babies and a model TARDIS to the pile of gifts. Cali then goes for the cake, and Agent Miah goes for the drinks in search of Bleepbeer.

Agents Kelok and Unger bring in an original replica The Hound of the Baskervilles in replacement!Stu Watson's handwriting, and a small bag of Victorian era money.

Kelok then goes straight for the food, but is intercepted by Unger attempting to force him to wear a party hat. A scuffle ensues, which ends with the Wraith giving up and wearing a party hat, so he can get back to the serious business of reducing the snack population. Unger joins Cali in eating cake, because the world really needs to see the two of them together on a sugar high.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Yay, another Boarder with an August birthday! Right on the cusp of Leo-Virgo, too. Nice.

*drags all her Agents out and has them hold up a massive banner with "Happy Birthday" written in all their respective native languages, which distracts them enough to put party hats of varying silliness on all their heads*

(And joyeuse anniversaire from me, because none of 'em speaks French. :P)

You must tell me what you want written as a present. I demand it.

Happy 22nd, vod'ika! Here's to many, many more! (And I forgot how the saying goes in Hebrew, but- may you live to be a hundred and twenty.)

Have some chocolate frogs and a sparkling vine!

Have a triple-chocolate (Chocolate with chocolate icing & chocolate chip) cupcake!

Have a Random Artefact of Rassilon! (I don't even know what this thing is.)

Very nice choice of fandoms. Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly.

Do not feed it Sues.

You'll need it.

Have a Bajoran Type 3 phaser. If you never go near Star Trek you can still use it as a back scratcher.

Have a Random Sue Execution Gun. Sues can be nasty things, better kill them off in a fast way.

If so, congratulations.
Have a Hermione-style bag. Very useful.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Have a pet cat. You may name him, her or it whatever you wish.
So, which webcomics are you addicted to?

Welcome, new friend!

Have a Free Magic elemental in a bottle!

*Vulcan salute* Welcome to the Board! The only fandom I recognise there is PTerry *holy horns* but that's quite all right. :D I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object as a welcome gift. Hope you enjoy your time here!

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Also? Some handy links.

* The Original Series.
* PPC stories salvaged from the Geocities crash.
* The List of Killed Badfic.

* The Board Constitution.
* The FAQ for the Board

* Read before requesting permission.
* A Guide To The PPC
* A guide to writing missions
* FAQ For Newbies.
* Neshomeh has a tutorial for editing the wiki.

* The List of Everything PPC.

From the Original series of Star Trek. It might not work against silicon based lifeforms but you can hide it in your mouth if you want.

Have a generic heavy object to hit Sues with!

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Hey, good idea, I could start a French unit.

Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Welcome, new friend!

Have a tarantula and an emperor scorpion.

Don't feed it Sues.

Nice to meet you. :)

I think the others have answered your question pretty thoroughly already, but I'll just add my two cents as PG: Although I wouldn't be able to read your non-English missions, I think it'd be great if you would write them, and have no problem with it. Yes, I'd need to see a writing sample in English, but I wouldn't nitpick you on grammar and spelling details since they wouldn't be relevant, and since you're not obliged to speak English perfectly to write in another language (I noticed a pluralisation mistake in your reply to IndeMaat, for example; should you want to write missions in English at some point, I'd strongly recomment a beta reader, but not for writing in Czech). Instead I would just look for style and plot. So by all means, once your waiting-month up over, please do apply!

Also, here are the Links we give to all newbies, minus those that you've obviously already seen. They should be useful:

* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board
* Our PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
* The List of Everything PPC


Again, good to meet you!

That is bilingual... awesome. What's your fandom(s)?

It may be three feet long, but it's still useful!

Why hello! good to know I'm not the only new kid on the block! Have a small, furry thing I picked up in Star Trek. Guaranteed to almost certainly not be a tribble.

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly!

I am a fan of of SG-1 and Atlantis, too.

Nice to meet you!

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly.

Welcome to the Board! I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object as gifts of welcome.

As far as I'm aware, the PPC doesn't have foreign language units as such; I know of at least one mission tackling a fic that was written in French (of a sort), but no specific groups who write for the PPC in other languages.

That said, I can't see anything that would prevent it, but I very much doubt many other PPCers would be able to understand it. Besides, we're not really about spreading the PPC in specific places. It's just a place where a bunch of people gather to share their fanfiction gripes and mock them good-naturedly. Anyone who wants to come and join in is welcome, but we don't really tend to go looking to invite people.

Though many of the PPCers are native speakers of other languages than English, I'm not sure whether there are actually any non-English PPC stories. On second thought, there might be one, but I haven't read it because it was not in a language I know.

I don't know about the permission givers. They'd probably want a writing sample in English because they probably can't read Czech. After that, it's your choice, I guess. I mean, there are no limits on the fandoms you can choose, so why should there be on the languages?

Good cause, but I have no LJ and know nothing of 'the ropes'

(In any canon where those aren't key plot points, of course. In which case, add "daughter/son of" in front.)

I'm not a Trekkie, so I wouldn't know the specifics.*
I do skim a lot of badfic, though, and 'high school' where it ought not to be yields a bit... [insert highly awesome character here]xOC gets you somewhere...Use the citron level 'lemon'for the worst results.


*(I.e. Legolas/OC always yields a magnificently twisted one or two, and Aragorn/Legolas... is not something I do often. If ever.)

I often search for pairs of keywords that seem like they would accompany sappy situations and Sues. One that's proving fruitful at the moment is 'love' with 'war', but I've also tried 'love' and 'duty'. Phrases like "Follow his/her heart" and "At first sight" have also thrown up some results.
I'm in the LotR fandom, so different combinations might work better for Star Treck, but this sort of thing.

Each fandom has it's own "favourite victims" so to speak. If you know the fandom you can look pointedly.
Eg. in Harry Potter it is usually a good shot to look for Severus Snape and/or Draco Malfoy as main characters. Also most of the Marauder time fics will be "worth it". In Stargate: Atlantis it would be mostly Shepp-fics.
It also helps to know what type of transgressions you are usually dealing with in your fandom.
Eg. Badslash in Sherlock Holmes or Mary Sue inserts/possessions in Potter (eventhough there is a fair deal of badslash and others there too).

One of my fandoms is quite small and old, so I don't risk any spoilers for episodes I haven't seen yet by just regularly checking the list.

Other fandoms, canon is still in progress, or I was late coming to the party. There key word searches can be useful.
Words I've used: woman, daughter, girl, new. (And for gender equality, male versions of these should be used as well.)

It's always someone new added to the cast, never someone that was already working there two desks down.

Generally, if I'm actually trying to find badfic, I'll run a word-search for "sister" in a fandom where there are no canonical sisters, and it'll inevitably turn up some sister-of-a-canon-character Mary Sues.

It depends on what kinds of badfic you're searching for, of course. The above applies for Mary Sues. If you were after bad slash, searching for an absurd pairing would probably turn up a number of worthy results, as would searching for common pairings and keywords for scenarios that would never fit them - "wimpy" or "weeping" come to mind. More generally, you could search for evidence of lazy-chatspeak typing, which usually indicates laziness, if not outright rubbish - things like "PLZ R&R" or "!!!1!!1!!!" or "koolies" or things like that.

Hope that helps.


(Will you do us a favour, though? When you post badifc links, please give a summary and some details of why it's so bad in your post, rather than just the links. Also, it's good to be in the habit of capitaling names like "Star Trek" - we don't want to sink to the level of badfic writers, after all.)

Although I can't find it any more, so it may have been deleted.

Point is, as everyone else has said - you *ask* first, yeah?

I'm all for community spirit, and friending fellow Agents is fun. But, as Neshomeh says, I'd rather choose who I associate with online than have my RL name pop up every time someone checks that page.

I'd appreciate if you took it down-- though, as pointed out below, you're still welcome here. We just tend to encourage introductory posts and getting-to-know stuff.

Firstly, I've never seen your name before, and I have been here a lot lately. You've never made an introduction post or joined in any other threads before that I have seen. No offense - we always like to meet new people - but suddenly making this choice for us without ever really joining our community in the first place is rather rude. No, you didn't offend (me, at least), but it's not exactly welcome.

I also don't like the idea of a Facebook page for our community, mainly because we all go by pennames and Facebook is, by definition, a place where one goes by their real name. I'm not about to connect the two.

So I'm sorry, but I, at least, will not be having anything to do with that Facebook page. I'd rather it was deleted, to be honest. That said, please don't turn and run because your first post here was a mistake; go ahead and make an introduction post, start afresh, and join our community properly. Everyone's welcome.

It's one thing if individual PPCers want to be friends on Facebook, but I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea of anyone at all being able to connect the PPC with my real name that easily. I'm not particularly shy about the fact that I'm involved here, mind you, but I'd prefer it to be up to me who finds out, and how. Also, I hate to imagine what would happen if angry fanbrats who've been PPCed found their way there. Which is probably inevitable.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not about to join. I second everything IndeMaat said, too.

~Neshomeh

but, who are you? I don't think I've seen your name before. I've been on holiday for a few weeks, so your introduction post or the post where you ask for permission to write PPC related stuff might have slipped past me.

And yeah, I think the community would have liked if you had asked first.

... by calling Gollum a "schizo." Schizophrenia is not DID, damn it! I should know.

Oh, brilliant. My brain just switched off in self-defense. I don't think NSFB can possibly get any worse than this!

Hold on. Yes, it can.

If you are familiar with either Stargate: SG1 or Bioshock, and if you're prepared to face it, I'll post you a link to a story that proves it.

(As if you needed proof.)

They referenced Miss Enoby Way.

I'm not so familiar with Star Trek, but that was just funny.

I'd heard of "Ensign Sue Must Die" before, but never actually read it. That was most worthwhile - thanks for the link!

I've been reading that one for a while now. Fun times...

Now, we know how Sues were spawned.

Let's get back in time and killk Mary Sue before it happens.

Or maybe not. PPCing is fun. Mostly.

I'd like someone to look over these and help me arrange the deadly commas.

http://jakraziel.livejournal.com/695.html A pair of character sheets,

http://jakraziel.livejournal.com/852.html and an intro.

If you help me you will get to feel all tingly for being nice.

I'm sorry, but there are several issues, mostly with your writing sample, that are too glaring to be overlooked or let by with warnings for you to keep in mind while writing.

Most overtly, your grammar needs work. The only spelling error I found was "she dies her hair bright red", but both your biographies and writing sample (and some posts here on the Board, actually) are missing capitals, use numerals where they shouldn't, and there are a lot of commas missing, as well as some other punctuation marks. Some examples:

* 24 years old
- In prose, numbers this low should be written out: "twenty-four years old".

The following are all missing commas, which I have inserted to illustrate:
* Department: All-purpose Department, Star Trek Division
* to have to share his RC with a woman, mostly because
* Being from the north of England, he speaks with

* Shrugging decided to make a new message to kill some time.
- This should be: "Shrugging, he decided".

* from acting Captain of Engineering Joel of a nameless Federation star ship
- I've watched practically every filmed minute of Star Trek, and I've never heard of a "Captain of Engineering"; it's always been "chief engineer". I believe "Acting Captain" is a title that therefore requires both words to be capitalised, though that can be argued. Within the Star Trek world, "starship" is always one word, and I highly doubt it is nameless; all ships (save for Borg ones, I guess) have names (and Borg ships have designations). If he simply doesn't remember the name due to this amnesia, it should be very easy to look up, given that even if the computer were inactive and unable to supply the data, all Federation ships have name plaques on their Bridge. I realise this is supposed to be from an incomplete fanfic, but why couldn't you pick a name anyway?

* An event seems to have occurred where I do not remember the crew
- At the very least, "where" should be "which", but this sentence really needs to be rephrased to something like, "which has left me with no memory of the crew", or "that has caused me to lose all memory of..." Also, this seems like a very foolish thing for someone to announce on an open channel, given he doesn't know where he is and that there are pleanty of people even within Federation territory who would be quick to capture a lone starship with all its advanced and expensive technology.

* hadn’t used the words lonely or bored at all very professional.
- This really should be: "hadn't used the words "lonely" or "bored" at all - very professional." (though the dash, of course, can be replaced with a comma or even a semi-colon at will).

* (A few minutes before)
- Nothing technically wrong, but there is really no need for this, given how easy it would be for Sarah's diary entry to appear in italicised prose in the middle of the scene rather than before it. That is, of course, a matter of style, but if you insist on using this, I would strongly suggest having it italicised rather than in brackets, and that you use the word "earlier" rather than "before", following convention.

* “Excuse me can you tell me how to get to...”
There needs to be a comma after "me" and a question mark after the elipsis. However, since she is being interrupted, the elipsis should be a dash or a hyphen, like so: "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to-?"

"Starfleet" is one word, with a captial "S" - it is neither "star Fleet" or "Star Fleet". "Star Trek" (referring to the fandom) should always be capitalised and (preferably) italicised. "World One" is a name and so both words need to be capitalised. There are a few other instances of missing capitals. You also have a habit of using the word "fairly" at every opportunity, sometimes in very close succession.

A good beta would solve most of these problems. However, I find it hard to believe that you could have missed the inconsistancies, if nothing else, which gives me the impression that you didn't spend a great deal of time on this, or even re-read what you'd written before submitting it. That is not exactly a point in your favour.

In terms of the content, I have no significant issues with your agents. They are somewhat bland, but have room to grow and a decent amount of contrast that could make for some good comedy. I'm more concerned by the blandness of the writing itself; simply put, there is nothing about your writing sample that is different from all the other partner-meets-partner stories around, and subjective though it is, you didn't make me laugh. To be fair, because we ask everyone to follow the same broad outlines there will always be similarities, but there was not one thing in your character interactions that will stick in my mind. This itself isn't grounds for denying Permission, but I want to mention it anyway.

A more minor point, but your bio says that Joel was from a fic that "was dropped before anything more than a character sheet was created." Offhand, I don't believe that a mere character sheet can create a character; I think it's the posting of a fanfic that enables it to affect the canon and enlivens it to the point that characters can be recruited.

Finally, you haven't exactly been the most active member of our community. Since your own introductary post, you've mostly just greeted other newbies. The other posts that you have made or replied to tend to be very short, contributing little to the conversation. When I came and saw your Permission request, my first thought was, "Who is that?", followed shortly by, "it can't have been a month yet, can it?" because I was under the impression that you were still a relative newbie.

So I'm sorry, but I cannot grant you Permission. I advise you to stick around, chat a bit more, make a point of continuing some conversations, and get a beta-reader for your re-write. Also, don't be afraid to give a little more description and depth to your writing; we're here to enrich the world of the PPC, not use as few words as possible to narrate a mission.

And last, don't be discouraged. You're not the first person to be denied Permisson, or even the first person I've had to deny. I hope you try again.

The second table down, that is.

For Lord Elrond's Sanity!

... DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOO!

Ahem. Nice mission, and yay for Molly and Moses! Poor Kieran's gonna be wondering what hit him for a while.

Its like the arthor didn't read the books but instead had them explained by someone who a little drunk. Thing like this make me wonder how medical see the world. From their point of view they just recived a patient in that condition with no explaination at all.

Cripes, that Suethor's note! Somebody doesn't quite understand the meaning of the term 'Mary Sue.' Or basic tact and diplomacy, for that matter.

Anyway, very nice work! The agent interactions were fantastic and I'm looking forward to what you'll do next.

...And it looks just as bad as it sounds.

So many things wrong with that fic. Dark!Hermione!? "M--b----s" who lose duels getting their powers confiscated!? I thought the idea of power-stealing was only part of Umbridge's conspiracy theory! And that spell! What. The. ...?

And did anyone else catch the Suethor's name? pstibbons, I presume named for Ponder? I doubt the actual Ponder Stibbons will be amused.

I had this happen to me mid-mission once, I think the third one I worked on. I already had enough invested in it to want to finish the mission. I had to wing it without actual quotes from the fic-just the major charges.

After that happened, I started making a temporary copy of the fic in Google Docs before I start writing a mission. That makes it easier to write the mission, because I can flip between them easier without having to navigate all the chapters. When I finish completely, I delete it. I do keep checking the original for updates, deletions, or changes.

This fic would be worth a look:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6061292/1/Code_Geass_Dance_in_the_Dark

Summary: Amelia was normal girl, then her life change 4ever. She get Geass and face off against powerful rival and evil guy. And she also find love at same time. My first story ever, lol. Enjoy. R&R. Thank u! XD. Lelouch/OC, Schnozel/OC and other pars.

Warning: Has Lady Gaga in it. And she's the Emperor's daughter, with a Geass that allows her to open portals throughout space and time.

Yeah, something like that happened to me just two days ago. I was looking for a specific badfic (also not bad per se, but horrifically messed up), namely 'Once Bitten, Twice Shy', where the standard personality and behavior of members of the xenomorph race was so badly twisted it would have been hilarious, if didn't like xenos so much.

I mean, seriously, can you imagine a runner xenomorph (admittedly of below-average intelligence) chasing its tail like a kyoot lickle puppy, while making funny noises? That's not only stupid, but also totally unnecessary, given the length of said tail. And it just gets better and better.

Anyway, the point is, I was going to put this fic up on Unclaimed Badfic, but, just like yours, it's gone. Can't find it anywhere on the web.

If anyone does know where to find, post me, would ya? Thanks.

These are cool! I hope you'll be making more--the OMWF one sounds funny. My condolences regarding your laptop and throat.

If you were ever a horrible writer at one point or a Suethor (or both), at what point did you realize you screwed up?

I am not a good writer: was not, am not, probably will not be for a while, and I admit it. Harsh truth is, now that Real Life is beginning to hit harder than ever, I'll probably spend next to nil time practicing, too.

But I still have approximately twenty different parts of storylines and characters knocking around in my head, trying to get out.

I was planning out a character for an RPG my friend was going to run. The short description is that it had obscenely high stats and powerful gear due to the min-maxing I was so fond of, when I realized that it would be obscenely boring to play with this character. I made the jump to mary-sues fairly quickly after that.. The long version is that in 3.5 ed. D&D, a half-demon mind-flayer vampire sorcerer with a base charisma of 18 can deal 400 points of unsavable damage instantly, then teleport away, also instantly. My min-maxing days are far behind me, thankfully.

My first fanfic was a riveting two-chapter (never completed, of course) tale about inexplicable time travel, people owning deities, failed revelations, one of my ost hated Fandom Stock Plotlines ever, severe canon OOCism (of a character I would later use correctly, no less!) and inexplicable cool names like Neos, Risen, and Raine. I lived with this fine beast for about a year, until - after improving considerably as a writer - I started work on another fic, including that OOC guy I was talking about earlier. Remembering the fic I wrote earlier, I fished it out of the depths of a forum and read through what I had.

My reaction: "I... stunk."

The characters who still had some hope for redemption were used later, but in typical old-character fashion, twisted and warped in various tragic and sadistic ways.

I think it came from reading a lot of fic MSTings, then I looked back at some my old fics and realized they were, well, crap.

I haven't put any new fics up for a while, but I'm still working on improving my works.

I'm not sure whether I was a Suethor or not. I think I think I actually went in the other direction as far as bad writing goes (too bland). I found out that Sue's were bad about 2 years ago from an article at an RPG site. I think I started to write betterly about 1 year or so ago, but by then I already knew not to make Sues.

I never read fanfic before I came to the PPC. I had no interest in it and, as such, had no idea that the Sues were out there. So I only found out that they were bad when I came here and found out that they existed.

I can't really look back at my past writing and see how bad I was because the earliest piece of writing I have (because it is the first thing I ever wrote) is only from November of 2009. I was not a writer up to that point; I was a reader.

So I guess I burst onto the writing scene full-formed and clad in armor (or at least a robe and purple hat).

Not really sure how I fit into this conversation anymore...oh well.

Probably through a combination of things over a few years. I can't recall one single defining incident.

Even in high school, I understood pretty well that anything I wrote at the time was going to be sub-par, simply because I lacked experience. I consciously decided not to attempt anything original, at least not seriously, until I'd gotten out of school. Fanfic seemed like the perfect way to practice writing without making a mockery of my own ideas by trying to write them before I felt ready.

Interestingly, I learned what a Mary Sue is before I learned that it's a bad thing, though a reviewer asking me very kindly if I thought certain traits (self-insertion with a make-over, particularly) applied to my OC and whether I thought that made her a Mary Sue, to which I replied "Yeah, those things apply, so you could definitely say she's a Mary Sue!" And I went on with my life.

Shortly thereafter, I discovered fanfiction.net, but since I tend not to go blindly looking for things to read--rather, I prefer to have a recommendation--I didn't encounter most of the badfic. If a summary was spelled horribly, I just ignored it.

Meanwhile, I was involved in several fandom-based role-plays, and that's a real hub for Sues. Having to interact with them is probably how I really learned to dislike them. The Pern fandom is especially prone to them, and I spent a lot of time in Pern RP guilds.

And then at some point, I discovered OFUM and through it the PPC, and came to understand that they were in my Tolkien! And THAT was just going too far. I had one LotR RP character at the time, and the PPC made me realize that even though I'd been careful making her, she was still pretty Sueish, and I gave her up. No way was I gonna go around like that anymore.

That would've been in 2003, right around when I graduated high school. So, I guess that was the last nail in the coffin of my Suethorish tendencies.

Good topic, by the way. Thanks for starting it. {= )

~Neshomeh

I know I hadn't been reading fanfiction yet (that started when I was 15) so I had no idea how bad things could get. But I did have my own few characters. Fortunately, I was shy and too unsure to share them with anyone but my best friend. I was a bad writer, too, and I knew it.

One night, I was having a sleepover with that friend, and she commented that she was very happy because she'd put one of her characters through a Mary Sue test, and she had passed "with flying colors". "A what?" I asked. So she gave me some explanation, and after breakfast the next morning, we looked up a Mary Sue litmus test.

That was the beginning of me amusing myself with litmus tests. I love them. I wasn't too upset that my characters were failing the tests (except that I felt like I'd lost to my friend and I didn't like to lose). Still, after that, I always put my characters through litmus tests, and then I started posting my stories, so this actually mattered.

Coincidentally, last night I went to look at my old fic on the Pit, written during high school, and discovered to my horror that the punctuation was...far below my standards, to say the least. I think reading PPC missions has helped me catch that kind of mistake better, since now I read the actual written words rather than converting them into proper English grammar mentally. I can understand now why my senior year English teacher liked to write personal notes with bad spelling; you catch mistakes more when you're thinking about them and recognize them.

(And yes, I'm going back to fix my errors in my fic.)

I'm a big fan of the series and the sue was stealing every single good moment from other character. Not just the main character but all the minor ones too. The point were I snaped was when the plot twisted off during Jak 2 cos the aouther hadn't been able to beat the game.

I think I was about twelve or thirteen, when I took a look at the main character of an original story I was working on and realised that she was so powerful and wonderful that I literally couldn't tell a story about her. Every time I tried to throw an obstacle in the party's way I would then think 'But Becka can deal with that because she can...' Thinking upon it, I realised that no girl her age should speak ten languages and be able to fly and maintain a Spitfire, among other things.
Yeah, I have studied LotR Sues up and down the internet. I have written articles about Sues, their identification and classification and how to avoid them. I'm hoping to publish a book. And that version of Becka is still the worst Sue I've ever seen.
I've since toned her down a lot, and still use her, but she still scores the highest whenever I run a selection of my characters through a litmus test.

...about the time I found the PPC, actually. I was in the midst of trying to write an "original fiction" fantasy novel, in which the main character was a girl rebelling against her unofficially "arranged" marriage, and she got sept up in a bettle between the world's gods. It was all very involved, blatantly obvious and as Suvian as it could possibly have got, and I look back on it now and cringe.

I found the PPC back in April 2008, looked at my writing, and went "...what am I doing? D:". I still have it somewhere, as a reminder to myself of how awful my writing used to be.

Came from a fellow author, Tirathon, giving me a whack over the head with a proverbial clue-by-four, about a year or so ago. The story I was writing was truly a godawful piece of shit, and I rewrote it. She still doesn't like the rewrite, but she said it was a vast improvement over the first one (which I still have in a notebook that I intend to burn at some point). The original version was way too far-fetched: I had three time-traveling soldiers, and dumped them into Hogan's Heroes. Too bad the story stunk and had no plot; along with not one, but THREE Mary-Sues (that I had no valid reason to put in there).
All I can say is: Thank God for Tirathon's extended reviews (and boy are they funny!).

Honu_Wahine

...was when I reaslised my ten year old character who was smarter than any canon, the best on her entire planet at fighting who looks like a pretty version of me and has my name, is a Mary Sue. Then I started reading goodfics and PPC missions, and got better. Not infinately better (yet), but a bit better.

I can clearly remember reading and enjoying some pretty nasty Sues. The one I can pin as my first encounter with Sues was posted on an FFVII site called The Nibel Mansion back in the day; it was Meet Cute Sue with a tragic past, natch, who fell in love with Vincent Valentine. I remember enjoying it, but the site was deleted before I got to finish it. I still wonder what happened to that thing.

It was more of a gradual realization, I guess. Once I realized that there were ten billion X-meets-OC fics out there, and that I wasn't the only person in the world writing little stories about my favorite canons, I got pickier. It was a winnowing process, I suppose. And somehow I wound up here. :D

Hello again :)

I never actually wrote a Suefic, but when I was about eleven I had a character all planned out, right down to her speshul silver jewellery - I still shudder to think of it. At that time I didn't realise how awful the Sue problem was, but I never wrote her story because I did feel that she might, possibly, have been too good. Looking back, I'm thankful to have realised that much.

I did write and post some truly horrid fanfics when I was fouteen; they were under a different penname, which has since been deleted along with all the dreadful fics. Mine was a Star Wars/Star Trek crossover fic, twenty chapters long and ridiculously Happy-Ever-After-ish. I posted it and got a few reviews, mostly the fawning type that demand updates but are all written by equally young readers. Of course, I was flattered. It took another few years (and a lot more exposure to fanfic communitues) before I realised just how badly out-of-character I had driven all the main characters. And that my plot was beyond implausible. I erased everything and didn't write again for years, but when I did, I'd grown up, and the stories were worthwhile.

How are things over at ACMSES?

And the PPC tends to err on the side of caution.

Have a chocolate bar?

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit, scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Don't feed it Sues.

Have a smoothie and a test tube full of Anti-Matter!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here is software to help you learn to speak 1337.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Alright. I guess this just isn't the community for me, so, yeah....I might see you around, might not.

*pokes*

As Barid explained, yes, the PPC is for entertainment, and we have no desire to be anything else. Just because something has the potential to be something else doesn't mean you should make it so. Fertilizer, for example, has to potential to be an explosive--but then it can't make your plants grow, and also you could go to jail for blowing stuff up.

If you want to write totally serious stories, that's cool; just leave the PPC out of it, thanks. {= )

Also as Barid said, you're welcome to hang around the Board either way, but we have a list of things that we ask (read: politely insist) all newcomers read when they join up. These are them:

* The Original PPC Series, which is our canon and sets the tone for the whole thing.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC, which further explains the humor thing
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
If you want to edit the wiki, make sure to read the editing tutorial, which includes notes about style and etiquette.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

And that should do. Welcome!

~Neshomeh

But primarily, yes, it's a comedy, and even the serious bits tend to turn into humour fairly rapidly.

Have a set of polyhedral random number generators.

To answer your question: yes, this is a comedy. The original purpose of the PPC was to write humorous stories about badfic. While I agree that there is "serious potential" that is not the stated purpose of this organization. Now, we do have some stories that deal with serious subjects, but they do so through humor. I would direct you to an article on the wiki, especially the five links in the line "...and likes it that way."

As for berating people for being too serious, we have never, to my knowledge, berated anyone for being too serious. We have asked that they not be so serious in their PPC writings. We have even encouraged them to write serious stories (though not in the PPC continuum) and have even offered to beta those stories and will, in all likelihood, read them if they are posted.

So, those things aside, if you are looking for a very serious setting in which to write, the PPC may not be the place for you. However, we still welcome you to stick around and chat on the board.

-Barid

"She ran after her sister in break-neck speed, while Jessica ran as fast as she could from her. Suddenly, she tripped over a rock, and ran into a man-eating plant."

WONDER OF WONDERS, A MAN-EATING PLANT.

Here are some that I consider gems.

From "big daddy" by ANBU commander silverwing (posted on Unclaimed Badfic)

"Abaddon snickered and shouted 'hey you!' he shouted to another member practicing throwing his knifes as he looked over at him and Abaddon continued 'YEAH YOU
JUTSU PRACTICE TIME AND I WILL INCREASE YOUR PAY FOR ONLY THIS ONE DAY!'

Making the member nod enthusiastically and Abaddon looked at Mitchell said 'watch!' they watched in interest as the member did hand signs in a rapid blur but to
Abaddon it was like watching a snail crawl slowly. They gasped as the member spat a huge fireball out of his mouth the size of a house which hit the log and shattered
it like a twig before turning it into ashes. Abaddon grinned and said 'ah fire style grand fireball justu one of the best techniques but not the strongest.'"

From "Terrible as the dawn" by unknown author

"Sairalinde proped herself up in bed and watched Nessa continue to go through her draws. Legolas had gone to breakfast so only Arwen and Nessa were still there."

From "Chosen" by Kaos Girl

"All she saw was forest, but not much of it because it was pitch black under the canopy of trees. Either somebody dragged her out here or somehow when she was unconscious, she crawled away from her car and ended up in the forest."

From "Rest My Child" by unknown author

"The young boy watched as the woman he thought was his mother leaves, being forced to leave him. His eyes burned with fire and his whole body suddenly exploded, leaving the room on fire, calling for his mother 'MUMMY!'"

From "Picard's Illumination" by Lorelei MacKenzie

"'Oh God!!!! Why??? Why Why Why???' Picard screamed in agony and fell to his knees. 'Why did she do it?' he was sobbing so hard that he began to hiccup. 'I (hic) loved (hic) her!'"

From "Dauter of an ent" by unknown author

"quicbem was out walking agan & he saw the gorgous lady agan. 'lady' he said.

'ah quicbeam' she said. 'this is our child' she showed him a baby & the baby was betufil"

From "Lies will trap you but are you sure the truth wont" by WildChild (note: 'Matrix' badfic)

"'Hello' he said in a calm Monotonous tone. He was tall that's for sure. He was also Buff the only way I can illustrate this is that he had kind of Muscly arms with a six pac"

And finally, a long one from "4 Survivors of Aliens" by Timothy Hokinson

"The Salvage Technician, Blake, enthused spoke harsly to the Synthetic Knight said,
Blake, 'OK, if it offends your sensibilities, I am sorry, now get off your high-horse and give me the Exterior Status.'

Knight responded amused retributive entrenchment,
Knight, 'C.O.P.S. Patrol Ship Saratoga has docked and Officer Lymangood is on his way to you.'

Blake, 'Shit...!
Blake paused a moment...
Blake, 'Knight you Bastard.'

Knight, 'That is correct...'
Agreed Knight with a smile, humorously continuing,
Knight, 'I didn't have a father, funny enough I didn't have a mother too.'

Blake, 'And I bet SHIT...!' Blake replied satirically mocking Knight, followed by...

Blake, 'Is an extraordinary concept too you as well!?!'"

There are a few that stand out. First, this one, which I don't think I was able to quote directly in the mission:

"I was just looking through the mail, thinking about my girlfriend Quistis(I can use her name because she's from another world)"
--"The Smasher" by Spidey3000

From the same fic, this one is good, too:

"My brother, Crazy, is saying that he's going to beat you as bad in real life as he did in the videogame, without my help. Not that that should influence your decision (he also said you were a sissy girl)."

I don't even know what the author was thinking with this:

"'Is-is everyone alright?' She asked, throat rasping.

'Yeah…' Ron answered with a slight moan, 'Except I can't feel my hooves.'

'Ron, you don’t have hooves.' Harry replied to him, chuckling, or trying to, since it was quite painful. Ginny was heard to giggle throatily at Ron's exclamation of horror."

--"Harry Potter and the Dragonriders of Pern" by Lesalanna

For sheer OOCness, this next one takes the cake. Note the endearment and reluctance to perform a life-saving action because the Sue wouldn't like it:

"'Cordelia, can you hear me? Come on sweetling, please open your eyes.' Snape realized that he would have to force feed the potions to her but was afraid of what that might do to her, he knew his niece and he knew that she did not like being force fed."
--"Family Ties" by dancing stars

I'm sure there are others, but that should do for now.

~Neshomeh

"Ever since I burned a hole in the roof when I was three, she has treated me like dirt."
-"My Own Match" by Pele the Goddess

"During one of tournaments a new bad guyappears...He's dressed in traditional karate outfit and is VERY fast and acrobatic. He also is pissed off all the time (he even has bloody red eyes from being angry)."
-"Karate Villain" by enkidu

"For a many year Hogwharts being a goodly school and students have a happy education in it. Suddenly , Harry Potter!"
-"Harry Potter" by deadpinkchicken

From When gods wish to punish us by Firenze.sun

I swear this is a direct quote--the opening paragraph of the story.

"One chance, that was all he asked for. One chance to know how it would be like to feel that he love him. Be able to feel at least one those lips against his and taste that mouth. And in case that he had the luck to be in that tiny chance of opportunities in which his feelings were reciprocated, he would like to know. Every night before that sleep took him in its arms, he felt in his heart that terrible and distressing anguish of wishing and needing something he knew impossible."


From "Who I Was, Who I Am" by Jiva-Tiva-lover
"She looked over at the motorcycle that was in front of the coffee shop. She stared at it. Oh man how she loved motorcycle, she walked over to it and was in awe."

In which the author demonstrates why you should always check your pronouns.:
"She died in child birth. Which is what they think led my father to drugs. I lived with her for six months before child services stepped in and took me away from him."

From "Pea Souper of the Damned"
Replacing the used bullets in the barrel and slipping it in his pocket, Watson kept one hand upon it while glancing uneasily around him.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 31:

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was…………………….Tom Bombodil!1111

Chapter 33:

“NOOOO PLZ!1111” Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz).

And of course, this gem from Ch. 42:

“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

...Pretty much every line in 30 H's. Though, my personal favorites are the descriptions of Harry's guitar ...slayer: "Wrought from the silver heart of heaven's false promise, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, it laughed as it was set loose, a laugh that only Harry could hear, but no one could share," and his book: "It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragons made out of motorcycles, but it was still reading."

Also, I would love to know what chumpits are, and where I can buy them.

Also, "'You are the demons.' And then John was a zombie." deserves special mention.

I have a liking for the Big Lipped Alligator Moment that is the 'Auras uniting' scene in 'An Elf's Love':

(Copied from an MST and formatted for your enjoyment)

Suddenly winds pick up and her aura appeared. It was gold and suddenly changed to bright white. It threw everyone near her away. Aragorn caught Gandalf before he got hurt. Elrond stood, eyes bugged out. Frodo stood; his glued on her. Aragorn tried to get near her, but again, he was thrown away from the wind.
Rosa screamed in pain, yet calmed a little when she felt strong and comforting arms enclose around her. She opened his eyes to see Legolas holding her. He somehow was able to get to her.
Rosas’ aura encircled both her and Legolas, growing larger. Suddenly, Legolas’ aura materialized. It was a forest green color. It grew and enveloped itself around Rosas’ aura. As this continued, their auras unite. Elrond and Gandalf gasp at the tremendous power they sensed from their combined auras.
Rosa began to calm a little, but she felt another wave of pain and the wind picked up. The whole room became even brighter. Everyone veered away so they wouldn’t be blinded. Rosa began thrashing around. Legolas clung onto her tightly. He then began chanting words of comfort in her ear, hoping it’ll calm her. As quickly it came, it was gone. The wind died down. Rosas’ and Legolas’ auras are gone.

There is no foreshadowing for this phenomenon, as best I can make out, and once it's over, no-one speaks of it again.

I have a drinking game if a fic introduces a charater with "She was the most beutiful girl in the world" or variations. Each time the character is refered to as pretty or somesuch after that I down a shot of whiskey, I don't finish a lot of fics like this.

Welcome, new friend! Have a Shadow on a leash and a Griseous Orb, though you may have one of the latter already, if your username is any indication. :)

Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies. Please use responsibly.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Just kidding. Welcome, and would you like a chocolate bar?

Welcome, Newbie! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit, scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

I don't suggest opening it anywhere near anything that can burn, or on Earth at all.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQs.

Don't feed it Sues.

I think we'll get along quite well indeed. 'specially if you ever wind up with Agents working around Pokemon, 'cause man is that area understaffed. :P

I give you... a Mudkip! :D Because everybody loves them. And this one likes you.

Welcome to the madhouse! Kindly check your soul by the door. You can reclaim it when you leave . . . IF you leave.

Lovely to meet you :) I don't recognise you, no, but that's because I'm not a Pokemon fan. Might I ask what other fandoms you enjoy? Myself, I'm a fan of Star Trek and Wicked, among many others.

Also, here are the regularly-bestowed-upon-newbies Links that are, in short, a collection of articles and other useful URLs that we politely ask every newbie to read, as they really do contain Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Again, nice to meet you, and welcome!

Welcome to the Board! *Vulcan salute* I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, and join in your hopes for mutual getting-along-ness.

BTW, when I saw the title, I thought you were reporting a badfic.

It's always nice to see a new face! Please enjoy this set of false mustaches as a welcoming gift.

So I'd have to say no, but that's just my opinion, so feel free to disregard it if you want. Just that I've always figured a Sue, by its very nature, drags the story down; if it's a good character, it isn't a Sue.

Some fics can survive Mary Sue because the Sue is weak and/or the fic is particularly well-written. They would be better if the character weren't a Sue, but are still goodfic even with her in them.

Check out the "Historical Sues" wiki page for canon examples.

If you define a Mary Sue as a character with special powers and no decernable flaws, she could be in goodfic, because it is not the special powers or the lack of flaws that actually make a fic bad.

If you define a Mary Sue as a character that causes canon characters to behave unlike themselves and causes the plot to be nonsensical, then a Mary Sue can't be in goodfic because her very definition negates goodfic.

...the Holy Grail story (Mallory, not Python) thrills despite Sir Galahad's urpleness.

Of course it is. The issue is making the Mary Sue so minor or inconspicuous that Willing Suspension of Disbelief allows the readers to enjoy the story despite the presence of a Mary Sue.

On one hand, I WANT to say that even if a character is absurdly overpowered, if she's in a story that does not play up her overpowered-ness and make her the driving force of the plot-- if she exists in the background only or in no more limelight than any other characters... yes.

BUT...

One of the big things that makes a Mary Sue a Mary Sue is that she sucks the plot up into her. So if a character that overpowered exists without really compromising the story's direction, then she sort of ceases to be a Mary Sue and turns into merely an absurdly strong character...

So no.

If a Mary Sue is in Goodfic, she ceases to be a Mary Sue if her quality matches the goodfic. If not, then the goodfic ceases to be goodfic-- ruined by the appearance of the Sue...

Or at least I think so. I could be totally wrong, though...

to one of the PPC epics where a Mary Sue factory is discovered. Strange that there isn't a wiki article on that.

Mainly because when I read this thread yesterday I was too annoyed to reply to it immediately.

So what if one person doesn't know what DBS is? Earlier this year a survey was held in which all boarders were asked to tell a little about themselves, such as had they read TOS, how many missions had they written and who is their favourite agent pair. I remember from the results that a good number of people listed Trojie and Pads as their favourite agent pair. I think this is the most popular agent pair, so why be bothered about one person that doesn't know the acronym? Sounds like entitlement to me.

The other thing I was annoyed about is summarising all Sue missions as "See Sue, hunt Sue, kill Sue". I didn't bring it up when Trojie mentioned it a few months ago, but I was annoyed then too. I'd like to think that my missions are a little bit more than that. That during the hunt readers get a lot of information about the canon, about good writing / plot building, and about a variety of trivia that could be summed up as 'doing research'.

Sure, there is not much personal interacting between my agents, but after 50 missions or so, getting worked up about the other person's differences would get repetitive too. They've grown accustomed to each other.

Anyway, you don't read Sues, I don't read slash. I actually find most slash formulaic. Sues offer something different every time I see one. At least in my main fandom of the A-Team. I think I've done 25 Sue missions there, and not two Sues were alike.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Adieu.

IndeMaat

I'm sorry you feel the need to leave. I do hope you will return someday, and that I will have the honor of greeting you again when you do.

For whatever it may be worth, I am aware of the DBS, and plan to cover some Bad Slash missions myself, once I get Permission. Anyway...see you.

Thanks for your wonderful missions, I very much enjoyed reading them while I lurked around the board.

Best of luck with all of your future endeavors.

So far, everyone seems to have been very polite and sorry and apologetic about this, but quite frankly, Pads, I disagree. I think you're being melodramatic and perching precariously on a high horse of double standards. I'll start by saying right out that I'm probably taking this more personally than the others - I consider you my friend, not just a fellow PPCer - but I'm angry with you. I'll try to be objective nonetheless, but no promises.

Firstly, I'm going to echo what the others have said: This is the first I've heard of ANYONE around here not knowing what the DBS is. ever. Considering that it's in the Original Series and mentioned very often in other missions as well as here on the Board, I don't see how it's possible for anyone but a very green newbie not to know. I don't know who asked you that question in the Loungue, but why are you taking that as an indication of what the community as a whole thinks?

Second, as Neshomeh said, you haven't made it nearly clear enough that you think change is needed, let alone made specific suggestions. You haven't even really been around - lurking, maybe, but if you want a change, you need to contribute more than a rant-like post every so often. It's hard to get things moving around here, and I don't think it's fair that you sit back in silence for months on end and then say this. I knew you weren't exactly thrilled with how things are right now, but I had no idea you were this disgruntled, and we talk off-Board, yet the only person who seemed to have a real idea of your mindset was Trojie. Why did you have to up and leave so suddenly - couldn't you have made a "change is needed and I'm really tempted to leave" post first? I realise you've been unhappy for a while, but this whole post sounds like a knee-jerk reaction to one little incident - which, to be quite frank, is something I can see you doing on impulse and regretting later.

Next point: I've listened to you talk about 'more than just killing' and have spent months thinking about how I could remedy that in my own missions at least. Though I haven't had time to actually write it yet, my next pieces is going to involve Agent Sedri being rebuked for her bloodthirsty tendencies and sent into several non-Sue missions. I regret that my early missions - the first one in particular - were so graphically violent and killing-oriented. If this were any other kind of story I'd take them down and re-write, but the nature of the PPC isn't too condusive to that (given how easily our characters can become aware of being written themselves). I don't like slash and probably never will, but I'm more than willing to try sending Agent Sedri into a bad slash mission, and if that doesn't work, I plan to try crossovers. You don't object to crossovers, do you? After all, that Department isn't particularly well-known... Oh, but I'll bet no one is surprised to hear me mention it. How odd.

Fine, fine, I'll stop with the sarcasm. Try this: You have an aversion to Sues. I have an aversion to slash. Where do you get off telling me that I'm in the wrong? I have read slash missions, you know - yours, and others'. I've read slash stories as a favour to you and Trojie, though I've never liked them. Despite cringing at the bad grammar, I've read TOS - several times. I'm sorry, Pads, but I'm seeing a rather blatent double-standard here.

Also, I'm sorry that gruesome and violent deaths have become too much. It's true; they have. But let's not forget that Jay and Acacia inflicted some truly horrible deaths on their targets, and no one seems to be scolding them for that. Why am I feeling attacked here?

Yes, Miss Cam needs a beta, too. Everyone needs a beta - even I, even you, and you're the Grammar Nazi Queen. Even so, betas don't catch everything. Miss Cam's work is readable, and there's a dramatic difference between her errors and those of a chatspeak-writing fanbrat who clearly doesn't care at ALL. I'm not excusing those errors - it's the responsibility of every writer to get a beta - but you're being too hard on her, on everyone. If you feel personally insulted for not being consulted... well, too bad. Get over it. I'll remind you that you don't have to read it, and you don't have to like it just because others like it and call it "legendary"; there are some fanfics out there with very bad presentation that I read anyway because the story is so good - I've offered to beta and been turned down, but I still read because the story is worthwhile. If it upsets you that the wiki directs people to Miss Cam as a good example, change it. Make a comment in the article or delete the link. No one will object,

Also, no life? Why do you think I'm not here half the time? And if seeing the problems in my missions and actively seeking to correct them isn't considered 'grown up', then what is? Perhaps you didn't mean me when you said "the majority of you". You probably didn't; you probably meant the large number of newbies whom you haven't even talked to.

Of course it was noticed when you stopped writing - or don't you recall that people were asking about your missions, some putting a great deal of effort into trying to find them? Ah, but maybe you weren't around the Board at the time. Still, how often are particular PPC authors actually sought out like that? I'll tell you, no one has asked why I stopped writing; I guess my missions just weren't interesting enough. Oh, well. I'm not fussed. Why are you? I realise you put a lot of work into it - I've seen it - but the PPC is still supposed to be FUN, not about getting recognition. If I send my agent to the Department of Crossovers and in six months, a newbie reacts with surprise at the mention of the name, would I have a right to be upset? Probably not.

Last, even if you have excellent counter-arguments for everything I've said here, I don't see how you storming out like this is going to help matters, unless you think the shock value and making people feel guilty is going to manage it. If you want to leave, fine - I'll miss you, but it's your choice. But leaving like this... Maybe you don't see it as storming out, but I do. Text without tone or body language has a funny way of coming across differently than one might intend.

I don't want to be angry at you, Pads. You're my friend, and despite the acerbity of your post, it seems like you meant it to come across as a fairly even-handed explanation. It just didn't come across that way to me, likely because, as said, I'm taking this personally, or am just reading too much into this. I don't know.


...That's probably everything. At the very least, I'm out of words. I know I'll probably regret some of this and won't have made myself clear enough about other bits and will end up explaining myself or taking various things back, but right now, this is what I think.

Have fun wherever you go, cussin' and all.

But let's get this straight: Sue killing is not all newbies learn. When I looked up the Wiki articles, it was clear that Bad Slash missions didn't involve Sue killings. We're not quite so far gone as you think, but probably further gone than I think- oh well, too late.

I really enjoyed your missions, and it'll be a shame to see you leave, but if this is what you want to do, then I understand.

Goodbye and good luck, may your future endeavors be fruitful.

I'd thank you for the fish, but I'm not sure you gave us any.
I will, like at least half the other people here, jump in to say your set of spinoffs really has been one of my favorites. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's the inspiration for the Agents in the back of my head who are decidedly not Assassins.
If you're done, you're done, and I wish you the best, and hope to see you around again someday. Cheers.

You seriously think people don't think about Bad Slash? Umm... Wow. No, we do. It was probably the second department I was exposed to, and DBS missions were some of the first ones I read. There was a problem with the wiki where it was difficult to get to your missions for a while, though, and I had to track them down--I think that might've been part of the problem with people's lack of knowledge about DBS.

Notice how old most of the DMS missions are, compared to the more general Floaters missions? When I went through categorizing stuff, I realized the PPC has been moving away from outright Sue-killing for a while, so that at least three-quarters of new missions don't emphasize killing the Sue and about a third don't involve killing a Sue at all. Newer missions tend to focus on the odd-coupleness of the agents, the insanity of the fic, and the odd situations they get themselves into.

Yes, TOS needs a beta compared to what we're turning out now. But remember that Shakespeare's plots would be considered cliched and unoriginal today... because he started those ideas. TOS is something you read because it's what started everything. It's part of PPC history.

I was unaware that people don't know what the DBS is. It was pretty much the second department I heard about when I was still a newbie, the first being Floaters.

I was actually criticized once for not making an execution graphic enough, so I get where you're coming from there. Still, though, I'm sorry to see you leave.

Have a good one.

Some of the funniest missions I've ever read. Especially the ones with Oscar. Those were hilarious.

So, wherever the wind takes you, let the pestilence of Nurgle fall on you! Wait, no... that's not right... umm...

So long!

I'm saddened to see you leaving. Not that I really had a chance to know you what with only recently having discovered the place.

The PPC is a richer place for your having been part of it, and I am sad that it is your leaving that has prompted discussion of people writing more non killing missions.

I, for one, took your message in the "more than just killing stuff" thread to heart. That is why I teamed up with Neshomeh to spork a crossover. We did have killing in it, but it was a device used to draw attention to the fact that killing is not always the answer (and it was reversed later on).

I have been working on a new agent who will eventually end up in Floaters. I have plans for his first two missions, neither of which will involve killing a sue. I intend his first mission to be badslash as soon as I can find a fic worth sporking.

On another note: A lot of us are aware that the TOS needs a beta. Neshomeh is working diligently to beta the whole thing, but it is a long process, as you know. The need for a beta is one reason that I have not read the whole thing yet.

I suppose I should wrap this up before I begin to ramble.

There are those of us who are with you. We are working on helping to fix the problem, but it takes time. I hope that, at least, you will lurk for a while, see that something is being done, and come back before most of us are gone. But I won't try to stop you going, if that is what you have decided to do.

I wish you the best in whatever you do,
-Barid

You will be missed.

You and Trojie were the reason I got into the PPC in the first place. I'd noticed when you left. I'd been checking Trojie's Livejournal every day, hoping to find another mission there. I had been hoping that it was just school problems, or a hard time at work, or something else temporary. Occasionally, if I had forgotten to take my meds that day, I would worry that there had been a traffic accident or something equally scary. I will not beg you not to go, because it would be rather juvenile and I know it wouldn't work anyway. However, I will tell you that I hope that you will return someday.

Once I get Permission, I'm putting Agents in the DBS.

As one of the newbies that is still in the process of licking boots, stuff like this worries me. I'm fairly sure the PPC exists not only because people are passionate about good writing on the internet, but also because it's... fun.

It depresses me just as much when someone ragequits a Massively Multiplayer Online game. Isn't this all being done for fun? Why get so angry about it?

I'm new, I do want to take down Mary Sues, and I can do it in a diverse way once I am able to get permission and stop licking boots. Or I think I will be able to. Stomping in here yelling that quality is at an all time suck and then putting the responsibility for bringing back quality as it pertains to one group of people on newbies like me... makes me nervous. Am I good enough to do that? I don't know.

It reminds me of the balancing struggles that lots of Massively Multiplayer Online games have about classes.

'My character class is weak and under-balanced and getting ignored. I hate the character class that is getting all of the attention. I am going to ragequit because of it, all the people who don't do what I do or see eye to eye need to get a life/grow up because MY FACTION IS RIGHT.'

I don't know who's right here. And really, as someone new here who has no idea what this debacle is about...

... It depresses me. I quit World of Warcraft and came to the PPC to get away from that kind of stuff. I don't want to see it here...

I only read your LoTR and Harry Potter missions, as those are the only fandoms you did which I'm familiar with, but I do miss your stuff. Still, if you wanna leave, that's your choice.

I feel awful, now. I know you said not to, but really, with a farewell message like that it's hard to ignore a sense of guilt that we haven't put enough effort into recognising the status of the DBS. Even without the work of yourself and Trojie, the Department of Bad Slash is one of the oldest Departments, and you two made your mark on it like nobody else.

I love your work, and I held out hope for more missions in the miniature soap opera that is your spin-off, and I'll hold out hope that you'll come back some day. Until then, good luck, and you will be missed.

I enjoyed them all greatly. They are why I decided to write my agents in the All-Purpose department instead of DMS, so I could take on sues, bad slash, bad het and crossovers.

Anyway, I am sad that you're gone. Farewell to you, wherever you may go.

I think the most interesting missions are the ones that deal with unique problems. Some of these are Sue missions of course, but many are not.

The main problem with Sue missions seems to be that the only problem the agents are facing is that there's a Sue in the story, and the only solution used is to kill the Sue. That gets repetitive. (Bad Slash missions that go "Observe, optionally get squicked, exorcise, neuralyze" are similarly formulaic.)

Whereas, if there are unique complications, it gets more interesting. Bumbling agents, "unique" grammar, mischievous minis, hostile environments, equipment malfunction, personality conflicts... the list goes on. Whether there's a Sue to kill or not, the mission can't just be about killing her. We've seen that already. A lot. It was new when TOS was written; but it's not new now, and we can't just keep copying what's been done ten times already.

Hey, I've been reading PPC missions for a while, and I agree with you. I tend to enjoy bad slash missions the most myself, though other types can be hilarious in the right circumstances. Remember the sandwich man?

...but forgot. Anyway, inauspicious beginning aside, here are the proposed solutions to this dilemma that I promised. Others can probably add more, but for the moment, here are my two cents:

-First, we should look for more badfics where killing isn't really necessary. Not just Slash (which squicks me out) but Het, Frienship, Family, Despatch, Crossover, and Platonic Hurt/Comfort (if such insist). We have an entire Multiverse of fics that we're ignoring just because there's no one worthy of shooting, chopping, or throwing into a Volcano.

An example of the sort of fic I was talking about is the Crossover one that was sporked by Barid and Neshomeh. While there was a killing in the mission, it was only to show how wrong an Agent can be sometimes, especially when he is unbalanced. Plus, it was undone eventually.

-Second, put more emphasis not just in the Department of Bad Slash, but also in the Division of Bad Het, which does exist, though it only has one mission. There will always be those of us that can't handle slashy subject matter (like me) but that doesn't mean that going down the path of the Blood Knight who only lives only to kill things.

If you'd always wanted to exorcise OOC Aragorn who falls in love with equally OOC Eowyn, then just ask if you can do so, instead of passing that fic by to kill the Flourescent Daugther of Elrond and Galadriel. She can wait, there are plenty of others intrested in taking her head as a thropy.

Okay, I've exhausted my brain just to come up with those ideas, but I'm sure that the one I came up with will go a long way towards what I'm trying. I hope that I've written my post well, and I give my sincere thanks towards those who read it. Thank you for your time.

I don't know much of them, but I don't see any reason not to elect either one of them.

Both are active and involved, and have been around long enough to know what's what.

Definitely voting for Makari. And Sedri!

(A Coyote and a Crow at a Crux at the same time? This can only spell trouble...)

I vote for both! For, a vote for Makari and VM...

Is a vote for Makari and VM.

*steps off her soapbox and scuttles away*

Well, it's sort of democracy. Maybe.

Anyway, I vote for both. {= )

~Neshomeh

Both! I hereby vote for both VM and Makari, and so does my alternate personality!

Voting for Makari and VM!

And voting for Sedri again just because. XD

Who is Makari? I would vote for him/her, but I didn't even know Makari existed, so I'm not sure.

I'll cast votes in support of both Vixenmage and Makari. :)

And also for Makari and VM. But mostly pie.

...

Mmmmm, pie. *drools*

That badfic was thoroughly horrible. I don't know much of anything about the Sweeney Todd verse, but I'm glad you killed this. What is it with badfic authors and thinking it is a good idea to write about people sticking fingers into open wounds? This is definitely not the first time that I have seen that. Although, I guess I should just be glad that he didn't enjoy it--I've seen torture fics where the victim decides that feels pretty nice. In fact that puts in me mind of a fic I read before hearing of the PPC that I should go find, so I can kill it.

Anyway, I enjoyed your mission. When I first saw the line about 'beer, beer, beer, beer...' my first thought was that it was going to be a reference to an Irish drinking song titled 'Beer, beer, beer' .

I have to admit that I took an example from the agents and tried to pretend that I didn't know what was going on, on this one. I did really enjoy their interactions, though. Having had a kid trying to learn the violin, I loved Stormsong's comment about it not sounding like it is coming from a rusty hinge now.

If I'm being honest, the content of the mission was too macabre for my taste, but the writing is good, and it's always good to see you finish stuff. I didn't have any trouble reading the accents. {= )

I know zilch about Nine Inch Nails--not really my style either--but good luck with it.

I'm looking forward to the musical at OFUR.

~Neshomeh

I don't know Sweeney Todd, so this mission was a bit of an odd read for me. I do like that you got Sweeney himself to do the actual killing!

Ok I get violence and Sweeny Todd but why one of the few characters who would never be unjustly violent. Pretty much anyone else would have made more sence. On the other hand well written mission.

I especially like the mini-conversation/debate at the end about bit-character meat pies.

On a different note, d'ya think Molly would try to follow them on missions?

An excellent yarn! I always enjoy reading the stories you post.

One minor problem I had was with Todd's behavior after S&S rescued him. He seemed remarkably active for someone who just had someone rooting around inside his leg muscles without anesthetic just moments before. As I said, however, it's only a minor problem and didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story at all.

In regards to the Nine Inch Nails mission, you'd be welcome to borrow Gremlin.

I should have asked in the main post, but something was bound to slip my mind. Can those of you who haven't already provided an email adress either do so (edit it into the wiki page if you like, or post it here), or indicate another way in which you'd like to be contacted - through your wiki talk page or just on the Board.

I'm working in the sandbox right now to update the wiki page now with all the updates given here, and to make it tidier and more accessible. Feel free to make more changes at need (as soon as I'm done!)

Note: I am best at correcting grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation mistakes. I also am a good typo hunter. However, being a newb... I can't offer much in the way of style, other than having read probably the entire wiki as if it were a book.

If a book is not on the list, I still might have read it...

My fandoms:
BOOKS
*Star of Kazan
*Pride and Prejudice
*Persuasion
*LotR (including Silmarillion and Hurin. Hurin is my specialty)
*Greek, Roman, Norse mythology
*Bourne Trilogy
*Hunger Games
*Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle
*Narnia
*Tamora Pierce
*Twilight (if you make me)

MOVIES
*Narnia
*Bourne Trilogy
*West Side Story
*Pride and Prejudice
*SOME Star Wars
GAMES
*Evony
*Aqworlds
*DragonFable
*MechQuest
*Rome TOTAL WAR

I've already put the details up on the beta reader and User:PoorCynic pages, but I should probably post them here out of completeness. I can beta for the following fandoms:
-- Avatar: The Last Airbender
-- Batman (Diniverse)
-- Discworld
-- Kingdom Hearts (I, CoM, II, 358/2)
-- Left 4 Dead
-- Mass Effect
-- Red Dead Redemption
-- Red vs Blue
-- Scott Pilgrim (graphic novels and film)
-- Sherlock Holmes (books and film)
-- Teen Titans (cartoon show)
-- X-Files
-- Many other cartoon shows; ask for specifics

I can also check SPaG and dialogue structure. Response times will vary, but I'll try to get anything sent to me back as soon as possible.

Might not be exceptionally good at it, but I can still try.
Email: lauraannehaynes@hotmail.co.uk
Fandoms:
* Doctor Who
* Torchwood
* Wicked
* Les Miserables
* Cats
* Harry Potter
* Most things Disney
* Star Wars (but only numbers four, five and six)
* CHERUB
* Maybe a couple of others, but I can't think of any more off the top of my head.

First, I wanted to know if the wiki page is up to date.
Second, I'd like to make myself available as a beta reader. I'll put the details (fandoms, contact and others) on my wiki userpage.