Jul 2010 Archive, part b

Ghân-buri-Ghân?! Really, people? Did you know that the LoM has an entire feature specifically devoted to doing the weirdest slash pairings you can think of?! Melian/Galadriel! Arwen/Estë! Narvi/Faramir! Heck, they've even got Balrog/Gamling, the teme s!

Hoooly Valar.

http://www.libraryofmoria.com/a/viewpage.php?page=rpmm

(for the truly masochistic, here's the generator)

And they read the books, too. That's always sad, when they read the books and still write badfic...

Okay, I don't normally use exclamation points and capital letters so liberally. Anyhoo, here's Aeidhryn, the newb, saying hello to you! And I give you a zombie, who apparently eats chicken brains in place of human ones, if human ones are not available. Unfortunately, Mary-Sues make him sick. He might make a good pet. And here's an offer to beta everything you got. (Unfortunately, I don't play Halo or many videogames- so- yeah, grammar and spelling is all I can do)

Have fun sorting out this humongous flood of presents!

Muahahaha! I finally managed to lure one. Erm, I mean... Hi! You're in (mostly) good hands here, so long as you don't mind the hands being occasionally covered in Sue blood.

Have a gun. Even with that suit, when you encounter Sues you need firepower.

*sees M5 assault rifle and M6 pistol* Er, maybe you do not need another gun.

I've played Halo exactly once (liked it, though), so I guess we don't share a primary fandom. Know anything else?

Anyway, have a Backpack of Infinite Capacity to carry all your gifts.

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

(PS: You like Halo, right? Ever seen Red VS Blue?)

Here, have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

I'm also new here, joined two days ago... All I can say is that the links provided to you by the "older" boarders are very useful (I won't copy them, since you must've received them two or three times already...)...

:D

Welcome! Always nice to meet new people. Here, have a bullfrog, a wax clock and a truffle. :)

Also, since it looks like no one else has gotten in first, I get to give you... (drumroll, please!) ... The Links!

Which, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Have a massless rope, a frictionless plane, and an ideal spring.

Considering writing spinoffs, or just going to hang around? :)

Welcome, and have this Frying Pan of Doom^tm and a freshly made Portal cake, courtesy of the Agents over in RC 6237.

Thank you all for all these gifts.

Please enjoy this Recon Armor helmet as a welcoming gift.

Sharp enough to slice your fingers off, so be careful!

Feed it only Generic Meat.

Welcome to the Board! Have a pair of Needlers and a scorpion (the animal, not the tank, unfortunately).

Hello there, fellow Halo Fanoner and able assistant, and welcome to the PPC.

I know you don't have any sanity left, so I won't bother asking you to hand it in.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use the IRresponsibly!

I gave it a twice over, and made a few comments. Your grammar seems to be better than mine (which granted doesn't necessarily say much), but you might want someone that actually knows grammar to check it out.

It is funny. Lee and Ian's interactions are great.

I'm interested to see how David will turn out.

Overall, very nice.

... I'm writing an mpreg story, and I'm considerably older than twelve. Just a point.

most mpreg fics are written by twelve-year-olds

On behalf of the founders of the Division of MPreg, we must protest. Some mpregs are written by twelve year olds, and are done so very very badly. A surprisingly large amount of mpregs are written by adult women who should know better. There is nothing wrong, per se, with an A Team mpreg, so long as it's written well. Let's not generalise, eh?

Seriously?! I got into the series a while back, as well as saw the movie... and I can say that THIS is just... wrong, and doubly so.

Got any bleepka left over? I need to wash the mere concept of this from my brain...

THIS is why I'll never go into Bad Slash. I don't think I can do it.

Be sure not to drink the whole bottle all in once. It's very strong.

I'm not brave enough to read it, but I hope somebody will. Such things need immediate sporking.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6130047/1/Best_Kept_Secret

Very well done! Funny as hell, and a rather nice kill, too.

There are three mini-Tanks up for adoption now:
Fransis
Luis
Franciz

I know this couldn't have been fun for someone looking for a real story, but I laughed like a maniac at the excerpts of that story. Mostly because I kept reading them as being in the same tone as the John Freeman video voice-overs. Anyway, good job on killing those two. I like the extreme snarkiness of Danny and Laura's interactions.

I actually need an answer to this question, to see if a certain character of mine can write PPC fics and still join the PPC- crazy, I know, but still, I've had the idea for a while and don't want to let it go.

1. Minis on missions: Generally, no--because it puts agents in danger of owning a CAF, which is a Sue trait and thus not smart for agents to do. Some agents do bring ordinary pets on missions; and sometimes minis discovered on a mission go along for the ride.
   
   5. Young Wizards minis: Mini-BEMs would be cool, and has a better ring to it than Mini-Lone Powers. Mini-Eds (the shark from "Deep Wizardry") are another option. In general, powerful monsters from a continuum serve as Minis; but the main antagonist does not (which is why we have mini-Balrogs, not mini-Saurons; and mini-Aragogs, not mini-Voldemorts). But if you want it to be the Lone Power, then go for it. It's not like it's so far out of the norm.
   
   Minis generally have about the intelligence of a very smart dog or an average chimpanzee--animal intelligence, but smart animals. Some minis are sentient, but most aren't. Mini-Aragogs are notable for being able to talk (most minis can't.)
   
   Agents' lives:
   4. Time away from HQ: It's unstable. Sometimes, agents are away for months and return within a day; sometimes they're away for five days and return in five days. Sometimes no time has passed at all. In general, their time away is kept short on the HQ end of the portal. It's been mentioned that Agent Jay would have been dead of old age if she had spent as much time in World One as she did on missions; so it seems that agents tend to age at the rate that HQ time passes (or even World One time, which can be shorter), rather than at the rate they spend time in missions.

Minis:

1. Nope. Sorry.

2. Probably just sit around and eat - or set fire to things, depending on their temperament.

3. There are a few options:
You can go to an Adoption Centre (that is, the webpage where whomever is keeping the relevant list has posted all known names), select a misspelling that appeals to you and send an email with your adoption request.
If there is no list being kept for that fandom (which is sadly frequent), you can adopt directly from a Board post in which someone lists all the new minis they've found.
If you find the misspelling in a fic you are PPCing, you can also adopt directly, though it's polite to make sure that no one else has already adopted that particular mini.

4. Honestly, I'm not sure. These things change, and if someone fades out, it's not always clear if they're still considered to be in charge or not. I think Cassie was involved at some point, but I can't recall.

5. According to the Minis page on the wiki, that hasn't been specified yet, so if you are the first person to write a mission in that continuum that stumbles across a mini, you can decide. If you're asking for an opinion, I'm afraid I don't know the fandom.


Agents:

1. What is this "vacation" you speak of?
Actually yes, it has happened - Jay and Acacia took a trip to OFUM, so strictly speaking I don't believe there's a reason they can't, just that it's very unlikely. There was a recent interlude where a very young agent went home to see her family, but how she escaped the constant BEEP!ing and the wrath of the Flowers, I don't know.

2. Assuming that they want to... it would probably be more like a holiday as extras, but recall what the Sunflower Offical said in the Original Series - there's a lot of paperwork involved, which would probably make it more trouble than it's worth, in the end. As for families, that depends on the details of the fic they came from, and if the agents who recruited them weren't forced to kill said family for Sueishness or other such crimes. If they were 'family' to a canon character, definitely not.

3. If they exist at all, probably not. Remember that the PPC doesn't exactly advertise itself everywhere it can.

4. Time is insane in HQ, and portals - which, as far as I understand temporal mechanics, act as time machines as much as moving-through-continua devices - can deposit you just about anywhere. The problem of too much or too little time passing in "the outside world" is unlikely to be a problem - at least, not in comparison to the actual fuss of paperwork required to leave HQ.

Minis:
1. Nope. Really. And... what good would an ordinary pet be on a mission?
2. Same thing your cat/dog/hamster does all day while you're at school/work, I imagine.
3. Preferably, yes. Also preferably, there's a list somewhere to tell you whether the one you want is taken already or not.
4. Yep: Meir Brin. And, Cassie is maintaining the mini-Balrog list.
5. Personally, I would think mini-Lone Powers. I realize the potential problems with this, but, well... yeah. Who can resist that? ^_^;

Agents:
1. Occasionally home visits are made. Cassie and Lycaenion recently posted an interlude involving such a one.

2. In the sense that they can visit their home continuum, yes, but in most cases there's really nothing left to go home to, since the remnants of the badfic that spawned them would vanish with the conclusion of the mission. If they have family, chances are they accompanied them to HQ (see Ithalond and his wife Mithiriel).

3. Depends, but usually no. Most people's parents wouldn't believe it, or if they did, they wouldn't condone it. Many people just tell their parents they're doing some kind of job abroad; others have used school as a cover; still others have said nothing at all and been presumed missing.

4. Again, depends--however, HQ doesn't work like Narnia. If you age in HQ, you've aged when you go back where you came from. ... I suppose you could use a disguise generator to hide the effects, but people are still likely to notice any changes in personality you've experienced.

~Neshomeh

Minis

1. Ordinary (and not so ordinary) pets can go on missions. I refer you to Absinthe from Trojie's missions.

2. Agents Miah and Cali's minis (and pet) spend most of their time finding new ways to disassemble PPC technology and tinker it into something else like a holodeck furniture generator thing. And also in making messes. I think it just varies writer to writer.

3. I think the mini has to be on an official list.

4. If those aren't defined yet, and you are the first one to write them, you get to pick.


Agents

1. Sometimes they do, there was an interlude released a few weeks ago, which dealt with an agent visiting home. I can't seem to find it listed on Current events right now or I'd link you to it.

2. I suppose it would depend on the particular agent, but I don't think so. Most of them recruited from fanfic were recruited from badfic that has been killed. Once it is killed it's not there to be gone back to, and most of them wouldn't want to try to visit a Sue infested place anyway. I know Agent Kelok sure wouldn't want to. Out of my agents, none are from World One, and half are confirmed to have no family.

3. I think a few do. According to the wiki, Foxglove not only maintains contact with her family, but also told them about the PPC, but I think this is probably very rare.

4. Again, possibly might depend on the particular agent. Time is not a normal thing in HQ. I'd say that time actually moves faster in World One than it does in HQ for a lot of agents. A lot of agents are still somewhere between 2006 and 2008 HQ time. When agents go on missions, even if months pass in the fic, they don't come back to starved minis and pets, which would say that they weren't actually gone all that long. It's one of those things kind of like getting from one place to another. It doesn't go in a straight line, and it isn't the same from day to day.

Looks good so far. I am interested in seeing how you handle the Sue, as well as what happens to the new recruit...

I know I already said this on another thread, but I know it feels good to get replies on Mission posts, so I'm saying it here, too.

This is a funny mission, which is great considering how messed up the fic is. I think the line that sticks out the most is the one about the Grow your own garden gnome!! (with only two exclamation points).

Lee is growing on me, and I think Ian is really sweet and fun to read about (of course being described as resembling Ronon doesn't hurt him any either :p).

But how on Earth could he be part Asian? Unless... Did the Piper bring a lot of children to the House, not just the ones from the famous story? Still, half Asian from that period would be very rare.
(I'm not a PG, of course.)

Well, mah, you sound lucky to me when it comes to parents. I loved horseback riding, but I really had to push it, 'cause my dad thinks it's dangerous. Pah. Well, it's too expensive now, but still...
Hey, I'm just saying, sounds good ta me!

I'm Sara--frequent lurker and sometimes poster. Welcome to the PPC!

My gift to you is an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and those nasty author wraiths, too. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

:D

Good to meet you! You sound like you'll fit right in.

But... no one has given you The Links yet? With all these posts, no links? Shocking. Must remedy this...

THE LINKS, in case you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
Which you've already seen, but these articles in particular are important:
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC


Anyway, welcome, welcome, welcome. Enjoy the pineapple. :)

Here's your Frying Pan of DOOM ^TM, and a freshly made batch of cookies in your choice of flavors, courtesy of the inhabitants of RC 6237, who are off on a mission at the moment.

Don't feed it meat.

Have an umbrella. Choice of three:
Mary Poppins Umbrella,
Super-Sue-Knocking-Out Umbrella,
or The Umbrella that Actually Keeps You Dry.

Just don't play it inside, or within twenty feet of any structure. Um... And try not to actually be there when you play it.

Have a baby hawk! Don't worry, it has parental permission. Feed it Sues and CAFs.

Nice t' meetcha!

Glad to see new people. And there's a gun in case one of your odl Sues just doesn't disappear.

Welcome to our esteemed community! Have a fairy in a jar and a solid glass spork.

*Is inordinately impressed by Aster's ability to ride a horse and hit things with a lance*

*Is kidnapped by Ganondorf*

Mm, yes, I can see your point about him. Give us cool Ganondorf!
And now I'm wondering which video games are your fandoms. Anyway, Newbie Gift! Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Here, have a Portable Hole! Remember, never nest extradimensional spaces--explosions tend to result.

Welcome! And yes, we all went through our Sue phases. Some of us have even sporked our own stories. :)

*glomp* It's wonderful to meetcha! :D Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object! And I was the same way too when I found the PPC. I think most of us have passed the Sueage phase. Welcome to our hallowed halls. I do hope you'll stay. ^_^

Have a stick of dynamite that's about to explode-

JUST KIDDING! Here, have this box instead! I don't really know what's in it, but whatever!

Hello, and let me be the first to welcome you to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have a chocolate bar, and enjoy your stay here!

"Scenes from" would work, but a quick summary would make it feel more complete, in a narrative sense. How about a scene with the Flowers where someone is listing the damage, the casualties, and so on?

Would you like to have your agents make an appearance in a zombie apocalypse Sherlock Holmes 2009 slash badfic?

This one is a rather Implausible AU, with lots of bioinfected fast zombies out for blood.

I know your characters are specializing in Star Wars, but I thought they might like to kill some AU zombies in their spare time.



Oh, speaking of Star Wars! There is this series of stories that is downright terrible. The last one in the series sends these same characters to the Sherlock Holmes continuum. Would you be interested (sometime in the future, like after this month) in teaming up to take these all out at the same time? I don't know enough about Clone Wars era Star Wars to handle the first three in the series.

This is the first in the series.
World Guardians the warrior

I figure that someone has to be good at doing something besides making things explode if they might be dealing with unfriendly OOC and Author-Posessed canons who have lightsabers and the Force. Anyway, it could be worse. She could be one of those Sues with huge Force powers. I'm pretty sure that would have been taken away.

The reason I said I need that one to be updated is that it hasn't *clearly* messed up the story yet. Sure, it makes no sense, and I can see that it's about to change everything, but I want to make sure I can find enough AU charges.
The second, while it doesn't last long, is concentrated horribleness. Elena would probably consume her whole store of Bleeprin, knowing her.

I expect Elena to use the Speech to talk to objects from HQ or to do what she needs to in YW. I had originally had the idea that it would help her talk to SW aliens, but I don't think that's acceptable. (I could have her try and get in trouble for mixing continua.) I figure it would go over much better in Lord of the Rings, where language is powerful, but she won't be going there. No, she isn't a wizard (though she really wishes she were). She just studied it.

You weren't exactly forgotten - threads get lost, especially when they're pushed to the second page. But generally, if comments and problems are brought up, we wait until a new post is made with all those problems remedied - which is exactly what happened.

Anyway, I'm not entirely comfortable with Kath retaining her author-endowed "very good fighter" traits just because it seems like the sort of thing that Canon and Reality (and the Flowers) would revoke. Similarly, as you say, Elena's 'Speech of Wizards' should probably not be used, at least in Star Wars, but other than that, they look fine. Just be careful with how you write them and there should be no problem.

In your writing sample, I like how you've done Yoda - "Sometimes," Yoda replied, "laugh one must. - that's the kind of silly-without-being-absurd humour I look for. The end made ma laugh Very nice :D

Concerning the badfics, that second one looks too short to be much of a mission, but that's up to you. I'm not sure why you want to wait until the first is updated (I see enough OOCness and punctuation errors despite it also being fairly short), but either one will work.

Go forth and write! :)

" I am fond of making impulsive internet "commitments" that I don't actually keep up. "

And I am fond of trying to write random fics that don't even last two pages, hey, you fail less than I do.

Fantastic Saga of SNAOL? Nice.

Percy Jackson! Have a Skör Bar. Um, you don't like just the movie, do you? Don't kill me for asking...

" I don't tend to get righteously angry at bad fanfic, more...confused. Especially by the reviews. Do people actually think these are good? Or that they make any sense whatsoever? Call me stupid, or something, but I don't see it. If in chapter 2 of your story literally nothing even remotely relevant to the plot happens, and you yourself acknowledge it, why did you bother to write it? It boggles the mind. And you created a mini while you were at it. Nice going! "
Only comment: Trolls? Perhaps Suethors enjoy each other's miserable company and sad syntax? Who knows?


Ender's Game, juss!

~Newb Rambler

You know what I mean.

I also like The Dark is Rising, Animorphs, Diana Wynne Jones, Tamora Pierce, Ender's Game, (Ender's Shadow less so), and Young Wizards (Only read one feline wizardry).

Fantastic! Good to meet you. I'm Chatvert, and I run a couple of Young Wizards-inspired agents. I have not yet read the TNG: Starfleet Academy books, mostly because I didn't know they existed, but now I am intrigued.

Welcome to the PPC! Here, have a WizPod. :D

For my reference purposes, I am now the proud caretaker (I say this because several of my gifts have been of varying degrees of sentience) of:

- one Bengal tiger
- one pink miniskirt
- one pair leather gloves (probably will see more use than the miniskirt)
- one Perfectly Normal Object
- one hand-knit hat (it fits perfectly!)
- sixteen rolls gaff tape
- one gun for 'Sue-killing
- one Hork-Bajir
- one Taxxon tooth
- one pet cat (named Throgmorten)
- one Four scarf
- one empty bag, slightly sticky
- one chocolate wrapper
- one Escafil device, broken
- one Frying Pan of Doom^tm
- one plover

Chocolate, Portal cake, and jelly babies are no longer included, as I have since eaten them. They were delicious.

Thanks to everyone for the welcomes and the gifts!

doctorlit: It is good to know that I am not alone in my enjoyment of the Dark is Rising. There seems to be a general lack of...knowledge of it. In the world, much less the Internet. Unfortunately.

Sedri: the Voyager Starfleet Academy books I have also read, although I didn't like the first and third ones as much as the TNG ones. But The Chance Factor is very close to my heart.

Animorphs. So amazing. Library booksales mean I have almost all of them. I'm missing...31, I think, and a few of the 40s. I think I even have 28, now, which I was missing forever. Great books.

En tout cas, thanks again to everyone for your warm welcomes.

Lleu Llaw Gyffes

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a pink miniskirt and some leather greaves. Which will you wear more often?

Don't feed it Sue Meat! It has Diabetes.

It's normal, really! Don't believe all those people who say it bit someone last week!

Hello there and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Have a hand-knit hat. Knit from the soft, creamy-feeling wool spun from shaven Cute Animal Friends.

Greetings, new person! I too am a new person!

*grumble I want to play me some DnD so bad grumble*

Please enjoy these sixteen rolls of gaffer tape as a welcoming present.

Have a gun to kill Sues in those nasty badfic. You aren't mad as the last one I gave a gun, right?

I'm glad to see another Dark is Rising fan on the Board! We're a scarce lot, it seems...

Have a Hork-Bajir blade and a Taxxon tooth!

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Hello! Nice to meet you. I'm almost the person you're hoping to someday meet, as I love The Next Generation and did read some of the Starfleet Academy books... but for Voyager, not TNG. Sorry. But close!

Anyway, good to see you - it's always nice to get a new victim member around here. Not to mention the fact that we get to be creative with presents ;)

Also, The Links - which, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
(which you've already seen, of course, but specifically:)
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC


(I seem to be the Official Link-Giver right now. Hmm... Well, I hope it's helpful.)

I was hoping someone else out there still remembers those books fondly. I've been picking them out of the fifty-cent clearance bin at the local used bookstore lately.

As your traditional gift, have a broken Escafil Device! It doesn't give you the ability to morph, but it sure glows a pretty shade of blue. Don't get it near any Geiger counters; it seems to have acquired the tendency to emit negative amounts of radiation. Somehow.

Welcome to the Board. I hereby present you with a shiny new Frying Pan of Doom^tm and a freshly baked Portal cake, which in this case, anyways, is not a lie.

JayBird:- thanks!!! i want to wriet more about Logen an d his new patrer i think that there arent enuff storys showing this side of teh ppc.

Lady Ciskia:- :-) here u go! bet u didnt guess who the new parhet was gonna be!>!>!?

Ellintyra Lloysinthayr (lol i had to copy ur name:- yeha Ageis sux logens new parten is gonna be totally awesomeer

Chapter 2: Recuitment

Logen walked inte the dorr of his new responce cenetr and he stopped in sochk when he saw his new paretnr.

she was tall and wilowey with dark black long hair the color of ravens wings that shimmers and cathches teh lihgt. her face was gorgus with alebastre skin waz white an d palle and was dusted b y a feew freackles on eithha side of her dellicat pointed nose. her eyes were deep greeen pools of liquid emereald fleked with lighter hazle flekcs like cyrstal fire.

she was wearing a bueatiful long slinkey dress that was the colour of sunlighy in the forest which perfectly matched her eye. the dress embrased her body that had curves in al the right palaces.

(A/N OMG I luve this rdess i totaly want one ofr me)

'you must be logen' said the elegent stranger 'i am agent veridianne Starsfire. you ar egoing to be my patner."

Logan bowed and then took one of her milkwhiet hands in his. he kissed it and looked solefuly into her eyers. "pleaseur e to meet you' he said.

"i didnt expect you to be such a gentelman" said veridienee.

Logehn smiled, his totally cuet face lighting up with happyness and he talked to Veeridianne

"taht's becasue your such a prefect lady" he said. "so this is our new rc. which side do you want?" he asked. "i want this rc to be just how you like it".

'oh, id love to put up my poster for evanesence theyre totally my favoruite band.' said vedirenene.

"omg there totally mind too" said logna. "were gonna be totally greta as partner s"

Logen and Veriduenne spends two or three hour s decoriating the reponse center so that it was just like Veridienne wanted it.

Verideiene said "wow this rc is totally awesome now. want to listenm to some music?"

"SUre' said Logan; "put ion a cd."

They sat down and lsitened to evanesceneses latest cd but after a few tracks teh console went BEeEP.

"Oh noes' said Logan. "I was really liking listening to music with you Verideinne."

"Me to" said Verideienne. "Oh well we should go on our first mission together. Come on logan lets go."

Logen and Veridienee walked through teh protal into the mission...


Chapter 3: Missien

There misison was in lord of the rings (OMG i loved that movie soooo much) where they had to stop a Suet who joined the fellowship and wanted to mak e Bromir marry her.

They portelled into Riven Dell. Logen wrote donw the carges for Veridienne. he didnt want her to have to miss out on seeing the totally awesome Elfin city cause it was her first time in middleerath. Veriddiene spent her time talking to the Elvs who complemented her on her beautty and grace.

Logean found Veridiene talking to Arwen. "I am sorry my lady' he said. "we must depart hither on our journey to lands distant adn unknown".

"Fear thy well, Princess Awren" said Veridienne. "I did so enjoy our coversing togethr but alas i must depart".

Veridianne and Logan folowed the fellow ship out of Rivendell, preteding to be travelers on the road in case the fellowship noticed them. Logan couldnt stop admireing how the dawns light was captyred in verideinnes ravendark hair to shimer.

They walked with the fellowship all morning, until they arrived at the gates of Moria after walking for a couple of hours from Rivindell.

The Sue fought the squid thing in the pool all by herseld and then new how that you neede dto say 'melon' to open the doors of morian before gandalf did.

"Mary sue,' said Veridiene. 'we are charging you with being a mary sue and with yousurping the place of cannon characters. you are sentenced to be killed."

The sue fought back. she used her sword to fight the agnets. Verydiane dodges the sword but it strucj Logan in the side. he cried out in pain.

Veridienne looked over at her partner with fear in her deep green eyes, changing to anger at the Sue who dared to hurt her new partner. She used her magic Star Elf powers to kill the sue and heal logan and then newralised the cannon characetrs and opened a portal and brought them back to rc 17263.

"thankyou for saving my life" said Logna after they returned to the rc. he was shaking with adrendaline after the fight. "i am glad i am your partner."

"i wish taht you weer more than jsut my partner" said veridinne. she had a scare when logna was hurt and suddently she realised that she didnt want to loose him. "i wish you'd..."

"no more talk" said logan. he realised that even though hed only known here for a few hours that she was the one for him. she was smart and beautful and a great assasin and shed saved his life...

"i love you Verridien and i want to be your partner in more ways then one"

their eyes met, the hidden fire of her eyes mingled with the cool ice of logans eyes. suddenly he drew her close and held her in his strong arms and then he ran one hand threw her hair and leaned in and kissed her.

(A/N OMG Logan and veriienne are soooo cut together huh? Ill write more if i get 3 more reviews so dont forgetr to R+R!!!!)

[[And again, my brain hurts. That, and I think I'm running out of variations on how I can (mis)spell 'Veridienne'. And boy did this turn Logan into a woobie... I think I'll have to write a reaction snippet about this.]]

EPC: Gehenna, Epilouge two.

AN: Hello there! Anyway, here is a chapter of what happened to Marissa Picard and the Tiger Lily.

Disclaimer: I do not own the EPC or Marissa Picard.

"So, do you like what has happened?"

You have destroyed everything we created! How could we like it?

The Author grinned, and then began to dab more esscence of Character Drailment on the Tiger Lily's petals.

"We will never be your servants!" said Marissa. "It should be us that rule Canon, and only in a policy of strict defilement!"

"Policies suck. What gains you more power should be what you pursue, and sometimes protecting Canon is what profits you the most."

Heresy!

"Sometimes, heresy is what profits you." The Author then went to Marissa and began to dab more esscence of Character Derailment on her face. Then, he got out a bottle marked: Love Potion. He force-fed it to-

The Hacker: This is sick! From now on, I will automatically delete any updates to this fic. And would anyone care to review this? Especially this bastard's enemies.

She's a no-nonsense PPC Pyro. She's a squeeing fangirl. Can they find love? Femslash, Madison and Nara. Don't like, don't read.
Category: OFUs - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Madison O'G. & Other Student

Chapter 1: Falling in Love

"I told rhem I was sorry about the false Eedrah," Nara complained to Dhozonesh after Love 101. It was a week after the incident with Tom Matúsalez, and Marrim had taught the class that day. She had really ripped into Nara, as though realizing what she'd done to the real Eedrah had not driven the point home.
"Maybe you should have given them a balloon and card, like Needa in the spoof," replied Dhozonesh. "Or maybe you should have just cut class."
"Here?" declaimed Nara with a good deal of incredulity. "With mini-Camoudiles and Piercing Squees and all? Did you just link in from Tangaroa (A/N: That's the name of a planet in a Heinlein novel)?"
"Maybe."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." About that time, they had reached the cafeteria. Agents Madison and Gilbert in deep discussion and Nara felt something weird, of a sudden. "Dhozonesh?" she whispered. "I don't think it's just her breath that's hot."
"What do you mean?"
"Everything about her," Nara quietly declared.

N&M N&M N&M N&M N&M

"So what is the new Detention Age?" queried Gilbert.
"He'darra," replied Madison (A/N: That's where the Terahnee trained their slaves to obey, never make a sound, and basically never have a thing to hope for. And if you flame this story, you're no better than them). "Rowan and Bentley decided that too-tough puzzles weren't enough." She glanced at the table. Cupid, a mischievous lad, chose that moment to draw his bowstring back and fire at Madison. She promptly fell in love with Nara.

(A/N: Short chapter, and I know this is unlikely for Madison, but this is my story. And I can't believe they pulled my Tawaki/Dustin mpreg fic off FFN, or that it got a parade of flames over its two years.)

Category: PPC
Title: Love Thy Partner
Summary: What really happened during the lockdown in the RC #999? SS/IAF/JR Please Read and Review!!! Rated R for lemons. Romance. One-shot.

Story:
A/N I am a big fan of Neshomeh's Agents. They are fun and interesting and Agent Ilraen is awesome because he is an Andilite and they are from the best series ever written. Neshomeh is awesome. I would like to shake that guys hand.

The lockdown was happening. The Megaviruses were all over the hq. In the RC #999 Agent Simon Supernumbery and Agent Ilraen Airline Feathergold were working out. "98 99 100" said Agent Simon who was doing pushups. Agent Ilraen was lifting weights near the closet. "How much longer will the lockdown be happening? It has been going on for weeks and I am getting bored." said Agent Ilraen. Agent Simon walked to his chair where his shirt was. When he put on the shirt his muscles made it hard to button. He said "Who knows. It could go on forever with the flowers in charge of the hq." Agent Simons voice was emotionless and musical. (I read once that he is half elf half vulcan. I think he is the kid of Spock and the guy from Lord of the Rings that was played by Agent Smith from the Matrix because that is who he looks like.) Agent Ilraen stopped lifting weights and said "Well what should we do while we are stuck in here?" Agent Simon looked up and raised one of his eyebrows because he had an idea about what they could do. He said "We could do sex to each other." Agent Ilraen looked at him for a minute and said "ok but I have a really good idea. I have been secretly getting the dna of everyone in the ppc so you can have sex with anyone in the ppc that you want to have sex with". Agent Simon thought for a minute and whispered into Agent Ilraens ear. Agent Ilraen then morphed from his blue centaur form into the form of a woman. Agent Ilraen had morphed into a naked Agent Jenny Robinson. Agent Ilraen said "come here Agent Simon". Agent Simon took his shirt off showing off his rippling muscles and then he took off his pants and went over to Agent Ilraen. They started having sex. They changed positions a couple of times. While they were having sex they did not hear the announcement that the lockdown was over. The real Agent Jenny walked in and saw herself having sex with Agent Simon and thought it was a good idea so she joined in. They all had sex with each other until Agent Ilraen had to turn back into an Andilite. (Because it would be really confusing to have two Agent Jennys in the ppc.) Agent Simon and Agent Jenny saw that Agent Ilraen was hung like a horse (he is part horse you know) and they thought it might be fun to have sex with him in his Andilite form so they took turns letting him have sex with them and they thought it was great. They kept doing it for a couple of hours and then they all went to sleep and Jenny moved in the next day and they all have sex all the time.

A/N Hope you liked it. Please Review!!!

[[So, yeah...gonna call that good and not write anymore badfic for at least a day or two. It scares me how easy this is. ~Barid]]

A/N:
IM BACK!!!1!!1 Sorry I should've been writing more, but I’m in college now and I’m really busy because my teachers making me go to this stupid writing tutor TWICE A WEEK, which is totally unfair because I’m a GREAT writer!
But I met this really cute guy who works in IT, and he fixed my spellcheck for me, yay! And spellcheck doesn’t think yay is a word, but spellcheck doesn’t think spellcheck is a word either, so it doesn’t no everything.

Chapter 3

“whose coming” Rebecca asked.

The Raven Rose laded one of her pale violet leaves on Rebecca’s arm. “my family” she said and she started to cry.. The so came over and held his love close ot him.

“don’t worry” he said. “ill fight them again if I have to.”

The Raven Rose singed. “last time you almost died. The black roses are the most evil flowers ever and we barely escaped with are lives. But I no we can fight them sunny, if we have a plan. We just need a little time to—“

But a plothole opened in the office of the so and two more roses that looked like the Raven Rose but with boring gray leaves instead of violent ones came out. One rose grabbed Rebecca and wrapped his thorns around her neck. “nobody move” he said.

“raven you have to come with us” the other one said. “or well kill everyone in her.”

A/N: OMG another cliffie! Don’t worry I wont make you wait to long…


[OOC: This is the third year I've been torturing myself with MoggetsGurl and her horrible story...I've even developed a backstory for my lovely little alter-ego.
Also, hi, everybody! My evil, evil internet has been down since early June, but it's BACK at last, and so am I! *evil laugh* - Tomato]

like, to redeem my inner suethor, like, if it even exists...

Hmm, haven't tried parody in a while. Need to get back into the swing- maybe some bad Shakespearan stuff? Messed-up syntax? Thanks for posting, didn't even know your 'poor little website' existed!

Profile: I'm D4rkm0k. I haven't been writing long but I am really good at it.

Category: PPC
Title: In the DIO
Summary: In a hidden part of the ppc hq, three agents get together to be near their own kind. EB/JA/JD Please Read and Review!!! Rated R for lemons. Romance/Friendship. One-shot.

Story

Agent Eamon Brightbeard walked along the corridors of the ppc hq. He was late for his monthly meeting. He led a lonely existance in the ppc. It is hard being away from everyone who understands you. His partner was a stupid troll and did not understand him at all. So he got together with the only people who would understand him even though they were not from the same place. As he was walking he came to a secret door. He opened the door and walked through the secret passage. When he came out the other side of the secret passage he was in DIO central. He looked around and saw his good friend Agent Justin Agent ssitting across the room. Agent Justin looked impatient that Agent Eamon was late. He said "Ye are late Eamon. Where hath thou been?" Agent Eamon said "I hast been walking through the hq. I didst trye to get here on tyme. My partner hath been a pain in my ass. I couldst verily useth a distraction." Agent Justin smiled at his friend. He said "Ye haveth my axe." Then he stood up and moved his beard out of the way so he could unbutton his shirt. When the dwarfs had their shirts off you couldn't tell where the beard ended and the chest hair started. (Dwarfs are really hairy but you can't tell because they wear all that armor all the time and it presses it down.) Then they took off their pants and were naked. There cocks were allready hard and they were each over 12 inches long and really wide. (They have to be really long to get through all the hair that they are covered in.) Agent Eamon turned around and Agent Justin started to have sex with him. After a few minutes they switched positions and Agent Brightbeard had sex with Agent Justin. While they were doing it the secret door opened and another Dwarf walked in and said "Wherefore art thou doing that guys?" (Wherefore means why. I learned that in my english class last year.) Agent Jane Doe was the Dwarf that walked in. She had a beard just like the guys did. The guys stopped having sex for a minute to look at Agent Jane. Agent Jane said "I thought thou wouldst wait for me." Then she took a gold strap-on out of her pocket and joined them. (It is made of gold because gold is like lube for dwarfs.) They all took turns having sex with each other for an hour and then they got dressed and said they would see each other next month.

A/N: I thought that all the dwarfs needed to get laid. They are so stuffy...that's why all Dwarfs talk in Olde English. So I had all the dwarfs in the hq get together. Hope you liked it. I am working on another story already and it should be even better.

[[Dear lord...who would write this stuff. Ah well, I have a requested badfic still to come. ~Barid]]

OMG I've wanted to get back into writing for soooo long! It's been hard, cause my boss is a pain in the butt. NEWAI, I'm Rae365 and I love PPC stories! I only wish there were more cute guys in the PPC. Well, you learn to make do!

I don't own any of the agents, I only wish I did! R&R, please and thank you!

Title: What Happens On Leave...
Story Summary: Three PPC agents try to piece together what happened after a wild party while on leave. Ian Nahinu/Danny Richardson/Drake
Category: PPC
Rating: R
Genre: Romance/Humor

Ian woke up with a headache. Not that he was surprised or anything. Not with the amount of drinking that had happened the previous night.

The Flowers had essentially declared a weekend off for the entire PPC. He vaguely remembered the horrified look on the barman's face as hundreds of Assassins and Bad Slashers had queued up to order something to drink.

He was lying on the floor back in his own RC. "Okay," he said. "Gotta collect my thoughts. I was at the bar, I was listening to Lee compain about something, then I went outside for some fresh air and somebody said--"

"Move over, would you?"

"No, that wasn't it."

Ian suddenly noticed that he was not alone. There was a tall blond male agent lying next to him. Ian couldn't help noticing he didn't appear to be wearing any clothes, but was instead covered only with a blanket that had apparently been stripped off of one of the bunks. There was a bundle of clothing next to him. "Morning," the other agent said.

Ian leapt upright like the floor was on fire. "What's going on!" he shouted. "Who are you and why are you naked!"

"Of course. No way you'd remember my name from last night, not with the amount you drank. Danny Richardson. As for the nakedness, I think that's pretty self-evident." He nodded at Ian, who looked down to discover that he was also somewhat lacking in the clothing department.

He went pale. "You mean we--"

"Oh come on," Danny said. "I know we were all a bit plastered but it couldn't have been that forgettable. What was that thing you did with your hips during the second run-through? THAT was amazing."

Ian's eyes glazed over as parts of the previous night began coming back to him. "We talked for a while, then went back inside for another drink, then I suggested we come back here..."

"You forgot the bit with the dancing in between the drinking and the leaving to come back here. You're very limber, which certainly came in handy."

"And then -- wait, wasn't there someone else?"

There was a groan from underneath the bundle of clothing, then it shuddered and gave birth to a Drake. He looked up at Ian and waved.

"Morning, sunshine," Danny said. "You certainly slept well."

"Well, large amounts of exercise does make me very sleepy," Drake said with a smile. "You two certainly helped in that regard."

Ian sunk to his knees, stunned. "I really did all those things last night?" he asked.

Drake gave the stupor-fied agent a confused look. "What's with Ian?"

"He's just coming to grips with an acoholic sex crisis."

"I know the cure for that!" The anthro fox leaned over and whispered in Danny's ear.

"You think that'll work?" Danny replied.

"It always cheers me up when I'm down!"

Ian looked up just time to see the two naked agents tackle him. "This is for your own good," Danny whispered before putting his mouth to other uses.

Ten sweaty and eventful minutes went by.

"I have to admit," Ian said. "That did cheer me up."

"I knew it would," Drake panted.

Hi!!!1! My names NiGhT-fIrE-wOlF (srsly someday i want 2 chang it legaly but my stupid parents wont let me). Im american and i LUV star trek star wars lotr an of course the ppc!!!

TItle: waiting for love
Summary: 2 agnets, from 2 diferent worlds, both secretly love each ohter but niether can tel the other! will they ever confes?? R&R PlZ!! 1st fic!
Category: PPC
Rating: PG-13 i think
Genres: Romance


Chapter 1

a/N: this is a story i've been planing to rite for a rly long tyme; these agents r so ovbiously ment for each ohter but they're author must be stupid r somethin cause shes never done anythin abut it. this is mi 1st fanific evar so plz plz r&r!! ill luv u 4ever!!1
and soooo much thanks 2 Ellintyra Lloysinthayr (lol i had to copypast her namw cauzwe its awesom but rly hard 2 spel) for bein my bata!!1

Everyon thought Agent teek was angry and vilent. Ppc boys never talkled to her cause they thought she would stab them wiht her Klignon sword or cut there heads off with hre litesabere and stomp on them. (a/n she awlways wor combat boots so that wuld hurt!! lol) it seeme d like she never wanred to be loved.

but Teek ahd a secret, buryed deep in the most speical and secret place of her pasionatte heaert. she fought evreyone becuase she was waiting for her true love, and if she had to she would wait her whole lief if it menrt she culd fal into his arms as she dyed, and let one last crystal tear fall on his hand,

But even He coulkd not know her secret, because teek could never be the one to proclaym her love, girls didnt do that and she was to shy anyway,

so she pretended to hate him too, just lyk any other guy, and tryed to forget that it tore her pasionnate heart in pieces to deceive him.

all she could do was dream of happyiness until He recsued her.

Cahpter 2

He loved her wirth the passion of a billion burning stars, with a love so pur and baeutifull that it over flowed his heart like a sparkling waterfall of love.

but he couldn't tell her.

it wasnt that he didnt know if she loved him back. the obnly problem was himself. himself and his evil author wgho had mad him a monster. if he let himself love Teek, he might lose controll and hurt her.

evry night he dreamd that zhkrarek took over and made him hurt tEek, and the whol time the real him would scream in aogny insyde his head at wat he saw himself do but eh couldnt do anything and hed wake up crying and have to hide his face so teek wouldnt see him crying becaise shed think he was a sissy.

but crying was all he could do, because he had to let out his love somehow or it would burn him up from the inside like an ifnerno and his soul would drown forverr in its flames.

he couldnt live without her, but he knew if he even only kissed her he woudlnt be able to stop himself.

"I'm a monster, hed say, when teek was alseep. Im to dangeorous and shell never luv me and she porbably thinks all cardasains are evill anyway bcaeus most of us are.

but if i cant tell her my love ill surley die."

all he culd do was dream of the day shed love him too, and try to forget his horible nihgtmares.

...Um, er... Sorry for intruding on the fourth wall, I tend to do that without even trying...

Anyways. You may remember me from MAXinsanity's permission piece, which was a total failure for him. And I want a little bit of revenge, not only on you people, but him as well. After one too many tweaks to my backstory and several unfinished attempts at fixing it himself, I couldn't take it any longer and decided to pay him a visit.

...And so I locked him in the closet and wrote this on his computer. It's far more interesting, far more brilliant than what you humans could ever write. After all, who would possibly be able to know the words better than a fictional character, having been written themselves?

I know, I know... I've written this with utter seriousness, but because neither MAXinsanity or myself have permission, I'll just have to put it here and hope it gets seen...

Summary: A different look at the PPC, written in my perspective. Me and my partners kill three Pokemorph sues, and several other "entertaining" things.

Category: PPC (Protectors of the Plot Continuum)

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Action, Angst

Story: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AetC2dzCnJeiZGdjYmt0ZjdfMjFjbWZ0N2RkNw&authkey=CJyEu7wH&hl=en

The content of the link is the story, and not the link itself. It's just like that because the story is kind of big.

And remember, Weere in ur fictionz, watchin u rite. D:

Title: "da ferret fins LUV"
Summary: hmelock is SOO K00T an needs LUV! so ah wrote dis ficcie bout him! NOFLAMESPLZ!
Category: PPC
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance

AN: Hiiiiiii guyzs dis is da new story! we gots a bata reeder now so its so muych betta! NO FLAMEZ! dis iz Ro writin cos ma dumb sister dont like hEMlock an sez hes reely a GURL! HE IS NOT! i thot id' do somfin not slash cos my frends sez Daisy an me gotta try writin difrent tings an i dont like slash s much as she do. i fink hmelock is gay forreels in cnon but is MY FIC an i can do WAT I WANT GEDDIT!!!!!1q111 nd if u say i kant u's a meen gay FAG an not in da good cy00te way!

Hemlck is a ferett but not likea pet ferert (I WANNA FRERET IZ NO FAIR DADDY Wont GIMME 1!) hes big as a persn an he cn ta;lk. he is SOOOOOOOOO KY0000T! es' big ad mussely an gots big grene eyues so is HAWT ad hesd kute an fuzzy 2.

So newayz Hemlok was reel sad cos drake didnt like him no more an brok up wiv him cos he was wiv Redd now. so Hemloc wore blak an cut hiz rists and did lots o f drugs and lizend to depresxing musix liek 9inc nails nd Evanescence (I copid dat name off tier site cos its hard to spel but I LOOOOOOOVE em).

an one day he went up onh da roof of hq to jiump of cos he was depresed (HQ DOSE SO HAV AN OUSTIDE MA SISTRE SEZ SO). an he saw is freid laburnum wos goin to fall ONOEZ!

"ONOEZ! Ur goin to fall!" he shooted n ran ad got er b4 she fell.

L (im not goin to tyep all her name agan cos its hasrd) useda be fat an ugly (cos er writers meeen) but shed got anarecksiik an waz real skiny now cept for her boobs wioch was liek a gcup (dats real big). shne diedd her hair blakl now cos brown is borin.; she woz on LOTS of drugs cos she was deprexed 2 .

So dey sat on da wroof an tok dsome pillls (of drugvs) asn cut deir writss an drank da blud cos hemolcks a feret an dey like blud an he kried cos drak didn like im no moer.

"aw dats xo meen1" L said. "no fair cos i liek u an i wudent b meen t u bujt ur GAY and dats no fair! so i am goikn 2 kil miself now!!!1111"

2NOOOO!" sed HEmlokcx. "I lke gurlz to!" (cos by guys are soooooooo sexeh!) an ur SOOOOOOOOO prety! Ur eeys r icy bleu lyke limpid teers (just lik Amy Lee!), yr hari is blacker than the black ravens black wings @ black midnigvht (thats from edgr alan po he iz AWSOM! but dere wasnt enough black in dere so i changd it) n u has relly big bobs."

l gosped "U meen it/ YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!" n she huged him. so dey got off da rof an wnet indors an dey stoped kuttin emsleves an L didn need hr drugs no more cos tey as happy cos dere in LUV. DA END.

~~
(OOC A/N from Laburnum: For those unfamiliar, the joke here is that Hemlock and Laburnum are the same person. Hemlock is the name Agent Laburnum gave to her male persona, whom she becomes occasionally with a little help from the PPC's transformation tech. I'm sorely tempted to do a dream sequence or something shipping them - is that incest or narcissism? - as part of the real PPC canon. Once the headache from writing like this goes away. Ow, my brain.

Sorry I can't let people use S&S, but by the time we'd contacted Snowspine to ask and she'd got back to us the Fanfic Land week would be over. Maybe next year. Do something even more horrifying to my other agents in revenge, I dare you all! (I do ask that you don't write anything squicky with Molly and/or Moses without aging them up past puberty, not that I think anyone actually would, but I thought I'd better say so to make sure. Other than that, anything goes.)

"Blacker than the raven wings of midnight" is in fact a quote from Poe's "Ligeia". I'm so sorry for mutilating it. I also got in several references to the infamous badfic "My Immortal" and I'm not sorry at all for using that. The "pills (of drugs)" is from "Forbiden Fruit", an equally impressive badfic.

So tempted to add a horrifying sex scene. Is that allowed under Fanfic Land rules, and would anyone's brain stand up to that? I think I'd have to use a different fake account or give this "writer" a beta-reader who actually can spell because typing like that through a sex scene would give me nightmares ...)

HI im Nillig-Rot that means beautiful 1 in mi language what i made up for my fics and i rite ppc storees cos they are FUNEE!!! lololol and the ppc rulez so yeah. Okay heres mi storee!!!
Title - of Harry and ginny and aGENT Srah
summary - Sarah moonlight starshiner was recruted to the ppc cos she wanted to see her fav caracters. lets see what happen when she mets Harry pootr!
category - ppc of corse!!!
rating - pg
gener - general

A/N HAI GUYZ its me with my agent agent Sarah moonlight starshiner look at what happenz lol its funny and good O BY THE WAY SRAH IS NOT A SUE COWS YOU CAN ALL GO DIE.

agent Sarah mmoonlight starshiner looked up frm th miror in her rc she was brshin her hair it was long and golden lyk the sun her eyes were deep blue pools she was beutyfull. Sarah didnt hav a ppc partner coz she didn;t need 1 cos she was sooooo good at her job.

then the console went BEEEEEEEP and she looked at its screeen and gaspped drammaticcally (A/N YEH I NO BIG WORDS) cos it was a fic she hated so she worked out a clever way to srot it out an she smiled.

when she had puton her fav outfit which was a sexy (A/N NOT SLUTTY HOARS) cat suit that was red an lots an lotz of MAKEUP an stuff she went throo the portal rite to the worst bit of the fic.

it was Harry potter and ginny and they wre kissing and she gasped an said "whers the bleeprin" an Harry an ginny herd her an truned round.

Harry looked at her abnd gasped hed never seen any1 as bootyful as Srah so he pushed ginny on the floor an strted kissin Srah insted LOL!!!!!!!!

Bu ginny waz jelos and pushed Srah bu Sarah used her elf spells on her an kiled her (A/N O BTW SRAHS AN ELF) an then ginny was ded SERVES HER RITE 4 BEIN WIV MY HARRY LOL!

bu srah had to go bak to the ppc to sort out horribl canon stuff so she winked at him an sed "by" an Haryy fainted.

bak in her room she grind an put her makeup bak on adn grind agen it had ben another sucesful missionYAY!!!!!!

so Srah went to the canteen an all the other ppc agents congradulateed hre an she waz happy an she went bak to Hary later bu thats another storee LOL THE END

A/N i hope u liked it stay tuned 4 more LOL!!!! review or die in a hol I HAYT FLAMRS

Hi I like to wite story and I like the PPPC. I luv PPC bishies so much they are hawt and can portal so then can come to me - PLZ DAFYDD COME VISIT ME UR HOT
I will try to write lots! ^_^

Hi there, im Veridianne.... Im 15 and i love the PpC like so much.... ive read heap s of the other series as well as jay and acacya.... but my favorit agent is tottaly Logen
NEway, I wanted 2 c waaay moar of Logan, so I statred writing ficcs bout him... I looove twilite and recken we shuld start a ppc vershun of 'teem edward' adn 'team jaocb'... execept im totally starting 'team logen'!

PLz R+R aand thx for reding my priofile!

Luve, Veridiannne!

(AN: Yaaaaaaaay fanficland is back! And me 2! Only 1 revieu from the las tchapter, but thats onkay!

Lady Cyskai: lol thankx! Ul love this chappie!)

Agent aurora aws lost in the hall sof HQ, and she hyst walked in2 the wrong ohall on her way to her new RC when she heard a voice in her head! It sai,d

/Thank goodness youre here, agent! Come in quick, we ned help!/ (AN: Idk how 2 do the slanty worxs, would some1 plx tell me how? lol)

So Aurora went in quick and looked aournd, she as in Fic Psych! Every1 was running around.

"Who said that?" said aruroa, looking aorund. There ws a potted plant on the floor, eating a donit.

/I did," said the plant. /I work here, but Im not the director, the Kudzu and Dr freedenberg are. But it's terrible! Some1 brought in the whole fellowwhip of the Rong, and Leoglas is a Sue, and he's making every1 OOC!/

Aurora said "Luckily Ia m inthe department of Mary Sues, but I cant kill legolas! Wat should I do?"

(WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Find out next chappei, lol! Readnreview!

XOXOX)

[[ Bahahaha, this is what my typing really looks like if I don't go back and fix mistakes (except for the random numbers and chatspeak, of course). Remember, kids, watch what comes up on your screen while you type. {X D

~Neshomeh]]

Title: twilit in the PPPC!
Author: Lady Cyskia
Category: PPC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Summary: itz so unfair dat no1 ppcs 4 twilight!!! y duz evri1 h8 it so mch??? Dis fic iz about how REEL VAMPRISE liv&wrk in ppc hq & y FLWRS SHULD LIK IT MUR!!!


A/NN: TWilight iz grATE!


&GUESS WHAT? the title is abigulous - that mesns it haz 2 meanins. #1 is b/c twiliht chracters r in da PPC & 2) b.c 'tiwlight' meanz end uf daytime&strt of night & is metaforical of sumthin ENDING & TE PPC IZ ENDIN!!!!!!!1!111!! (oops did i just giv away the endin?? Heheeeeeheeee...)


1 day a lonly ppc agnt who wuz in trubl w/flowersz 4 killin a sue wit a flamethrowr (Suez r bad alllrite???? & i know every1 thinks beellas a sue bt she's NT!) got assined 2 a mizsion in teh twiligtvherse as punshmetn. er name wus jasiminie.

jasimine was a normal good lookin but nt perect lookin agent (SEEEE? NOT A SUEE!) 'n she kinda liked TWiglith but had 2 say nuthin b/c otherwiz the othr agents&flowers wood LAUGH @ her & sum mite even kill er so she had 2 b carful.

jasimine was asigned t2 kill a marysue whod snucked in & made emmet love her 4evar & made roseli go way (the B1#CH!). jasimine squshed the sue under a bolder & remembred 2 read out teh charges 1st so she culdnt get in truble w/flowers again but wen she had 2 kil the replcemnt emmet she culdnt b.c all vamipres R soooo atractiv & hot

so she strted cryin

"whats wrong" asked emmet givin her a big hug

"im spposed 2 kil u but i cant" asid jasimen

"then dont said emmet & laufed lika bear & made jasimen lauf 2

"y wood u half to kil me nyway?; asked emet

"b/cause its my job & thflowers wil kil me if i dnt"

"then lets kil the floers ourselfs hmm?" i alywas h8d grdening. any roses i always hat8d roses"

"youd relly help me? asked jasiminnne. "sure i wuld" said emmet

so tey went back thru de portl & used flmethrowrs 2 burn ALL the FLORWERS to CRISPIS & emet bit jasimine & she bcame a vamprei 2

& DEY LIVED HAPPLY EVR AFA!


(A//N see thats wut 'twilit' mens 4 the ppc but off corse i dont hat the ppc myselvf its jus wat emmet and jazimine wuld do b/c its in chreacter, u know? dont wurry theyll not hurt agnts only those who mke fun of twilight (whic u guyz wont RIIIIITE??????!?!?!?!?!?!))



[[Ow, ow, ow, OW. I want steel wool and three hours of scalding shower water. And maybe a new brain.
I blame this entirely on hS for mentioning Twilight's Bella as a PPC agent in his list of ideas. Now I want to go home and hide under my pillows... - Sedri]]

Ur Majesty teh Daisy!
Author: HotUkuleleLover
Ratged:G
Cat: PPC, acshun!

A/N summery: Teh Daisy (not taht snooby Markey, teh oter one, teh awesum Daysey!)is liek ttlly underappreshiated. He haven;t evin got a Deepartament!1! I fix that in tihs storry!!

tEH Daisy was walking through the Head 1/4’s and saw agents being lost. He help teh agents becuz he was a good Planrt. He help the agents to go wear tehy knead to go. Then he tink abut his own problum. He think how that SunFlower Offishul and Markey Day Sod was bad Plants! They was meen to teh agents. Thay wudn’t give him no Deportment, evin tho he was good Plant.

Teh Daysey had a cunning pan. This pan wood put that meen SunFower and Mareky in the place tey belonged in!!1. They belonged in teh worstest badfic evur! Teh Daysey had finded tis badfic (dunt werry, I won’t name tihs so no1 has to be a fr8d to C there storry named here!)

The Daysey had gr8 poewrs taht teh Sunflwoer nevur cared abut. He cud fly! and he cud not be burned! He cud make oter Fowers go unconshus! Hw wood make tings much beter gfor the agunts. He wood give them all TARDISs and let them all blow up the Sues!

He flew throw the halls anf came to Sunfolwers offuce. He used his speshul pawers on teh other Plent. The Sunfowler went unconshus. He was powerlees to stop the Daisy. The Daysey opened a portal to toe the worstest bad story evur! Then he defeated the Markey too and the Agent s was so happy that teh Daisy was made the king fo all the PPC!

Title: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction
Rating: G
Genre: General
Summary: Two agents, Honesty Jones and Charity Whipple, discuss their recent experiences in the PPC Cafeteria, and launch a brilliant plan to restore the agency to its original, pure form.


Author’s Note: Given the woeful lack of understanding and respect that has been shown towards this story, I have decided to continue regardless. Hopefully this time more readers will be able to digest the message I am trying to convey.


Chapter Two: A Meeting With The Sunflower Official

Agents Jones and Whipple – it is a pleasure to see you, greeted the Sunflower Official as said agents stepped into his office, having knocked very politely just moments before. What can I do for you today?

“Sir,” Honesty began in a clear, confident tone, “it has become clear to us – that is, Agent Whipple and myself – that the PPC is no longer functioning at optimum efficiency.”

The Flower nodded its large, yellow petals. Sadly true. I must confess, Agent Jones, that the other Flowers and myself are at a loss for how to deal with this crisis. I don’t suppose either of you have any suggestions?

“Yes, we do,” said Charity happily; “we think you should stop partnering agents who might exaberate each others’ mental instabilities and-”

“Charity!” hissed Honesty. “You’re being very rude!”

Charity shrank back and hung her head. “I’m very sorry.”

No need to apologise, said the Sunflower Official, gently patting her shoulder with its fronds. You obviously know more about this problem than I do. Please, go on.

And so, for the next half hour, Honesty and Charity outlined every problem they had noticed within the PPC and explained their ideas about how to remedy them. The Sunflower Official was impressed.

I am impressed, said the Flower. It is clear to me now that only agents truly understand how this agency should function. Therefore, the two of you must take over management of the PPC.

Honesty and Charity demurred. “Oh, that’s too kind!”

“Sir, we couldn’t possibly…”

Ah, ah – none of that, Agent Jones. You two are clearly qualified. I will speak to the other Flowers, but as of this moment, I surrender my office to you.

~ End of Chapter Two ~

I'd absolutely love to see someone write something about Ian and/or Lee. If this doesn't follow the rules of the event, then please, by all means, disregard this post. I'm just kind of curious as to how someone might totally mess them up. *evil grin*

Category: PPC - Fiction Rated: PG-13 - English - Adventure

Summary: Suli Marri Bella Featherson teh third is off on a epik adventurn 2 fynd teh lejnedari Pool in HQ. Will she evar find et? whu noes??!

Ajent Suli Marri Bella Feartherson teh third wnderd thru HQ, her sprakly unicorn myni Puffiekinz followng after her.

"what r we lookin 4, Suli" Puffiekinz askd as she wakled along.

"teh pool" Suli said fliping her perfect shiny blonde hair behind her shuolder. "we r gona 2 b teh first ajents to evar fynd it!!1!"

"relly? culz!!!!1' puffiekinz said her tail swishing perfectly. she and Suli were teh bestsest uv firendz, and she wuz glad tat she had been reskyued frum tat 1 bad storee. (AN: It wuz really bad guyz! U shuld not even luk 4 it!)

Anywayz, Suli and puffiekinz walked for HOURZ until tehy found a really dark hallway.

"i dont wanna go down there" puffiekinz sayd, she wuz skard.

"we hafta go doun there!!11 if we dont peeple will say "look @ them. tehy r skardy-kats and not ajents!" do u wnt taht"

"no"

"ten we go 4 it! Cum on11!!"

And so tehy went off on teh bezt adventrue EVARS!!!11!

PLZ REED AND REVEUW!!!1!

((Oh gods, the pain of writing this. I never wrote like this even during my fanbrat days. *headdesk* --Pretzel))

Summary: Everyone knows the Marqis de Sod is mean and stuff to everyone but what happened to make him that way?

Category: PPC - Fiction

Rated: PG-13 - English - Romance

AN: So I know I got really upset after last year when my last story got FLAMED by a bunch of mean people trying to say I could'nt write and I thought I might give up on PPC storys if ppl were just goign to be nasty about them. But I read some of the old storys like the Origginal SEries and changed my mind so I decided to come back nd try again. Hopefully all the stupid flamers will have gone away this time and if they haven;t and they're reading this now GO AWAY FLAMERS! And if you flame me I'll just use your flames for toastimg marshmallows!

Chapter 1

Back in the early days of the PPc when everything was new and shiny and the AGents didnt have to work so much the Flowers used to work with them more closely than they do now with all the FLowers upstairs in ofices. anyway this story is from those faroff times when they worked side by side with the Agents and were close to them and some of them even grew close enough to their partners to.... love them. Because Flowers mihgt not have hearts in the same way that humans do but they still can feel and have feelings like them.

This is a tale of one flower who fell in love back then and how it changed him for ever...

FlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRs

Agent Elli Lloysin rolled over in bed and smiled at her lover who lay beside her with his petals closed. (AN: Because flowers always close thir petals at night and my science teacher told me so it has to be true.) "Wake up Marqis love" she said. "We have to get back to work soon".

His petals opened and he turned to her and wrapped his leaves around her to hold her close. "I know but lets have just a few more minutes together like this first". "I don;t want to get up yet and leave you".

"That's all right dear". "it's not like theres' lots to do anyway". Elli snuggled down against him happily.

They had been parntered for a while now and although the Marqis was grumpy at firts because he was used to working with other FLowers he had grown to care about Elli and her gentle ways because she was always so understandign when he gor grumpy at her and never got grumpy back at him. But this made him even more grumpy sometimes because he didn't think he could tell her how he felt in case she laughed at him because Flowers and agents had never cared about each other that way before. (AN: This is befor Jaycacia was born so that's why I said that because we all know they can really and it jsut takes a specail person.)

One day the Marqis got so upset because of being grumpy that he YELLED at Elli and made her cry. He felt sorry straight away and said he was sorry for it. When she stoped crying she asked him why he was always so grumpy when she tryed so hard to be nice to him. He hung his bloom sadly and said "I don't think i can say because its a silly thing to think about". And she sighd and said "It can't be silly if it makes you so upset and I wish you'd tell me because then we can get it sorted". "i promise I'll never lauhg at you for it whatever it is because I care about you andI wouldn't be so mean".

When she said that he couldn't help but feel happy and he took a deep breath (AN: I know flowers can't really breathe but let's just say he did) and said "I think i'm in love with you". "I've cared about you for a long time now but i was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way so I tried to hide it but I can't any more".

Elli starred at him for a few moments and then her pale blue eyes filled with shining tears which she wiped away as they began to run down her cheeks. "Oh Marqis" she said. "I wsh you'd told me sooner even if you were afraid because you should know by now I'dn ever laugh at you for something like that". "We can't help our feelings".

"I'm sorry" the Flower said sadly. "You don't think it;s silly"?

"of course not". "I care about you too you know and I"..

"You what"? He reached out wth one leaf and wiped away her tears because he felt so sad at seeing her cry.

"I.... think i love you too".

He gasped. "Really"?! She smiled up at him and reached out to him. "Yes really". "I'm glad you told me because now we can be together forever and I;m sure none of the others will mind becaus ethey'll be so glad to see you happy again".

"yes of course" he whispered as he held her close. "I love you Elli".

"I love you too Marqis dear" she murmred as she leaned against him. And she was right and everyone else was soo happy for them that they always tryed to make sure Elli and the Marqis were close to each other.

FlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRsFlOwErSfLoWeRs

Elli finally sat up and got out of bed slowly. "Come on love" she said kindly. "We shouldn't lie in bed when there are missions to do".

"Oh very well" he sighed and got up and dressed with her. Just as they finished getting dressed there was a BIP! from their console and they went to look.

It was a message from the SUnfloewr Official!

[Hello Marquis and Agent Lloysin. Please come upto my offcie at once as I have something very important to say to you.]

They looked at each other and then hurried out of the door. "I guess we're not goign on misisions today" Elli said happily as they went to the office.

"No I guess not" the Marqis replied as he knokced at the door and they waited together to find out what the SO wanted...


Hehe I bet you all can;t wait to find out what happened! Well hopefully I'll be able to write the next chappie soon and I hope I get nice reviews because they make me want to write MORE! (Hint hint)!

PLEASE R&r!

Disclaimer: Everything that can be attributed to another author belongs to another author.

It had been several days since the death of everyone in the Multiverse, and Makes-Things and Lyta were still in a state of disbelief and depression. They had taken to ‘doing it’ with one another,knowing that as the last biologically compatible pair of sentients in the Multiverse, it was now their duty to repopulate it.

One day, as Makes-Things was tired out from Lyta's "ministrations", she said:

"So. what was the 'thing' that killed my prospective partner?"

"Agent Tara-Something was killed... was killed..."

"By what? Makes-Things, please tell me."

"It was the DIO. They suspected that the Leauge of Mary Sue Factories may attempt one last infilitration of HQ in order to ensure their survival in the face of the NMG threat."

"And we were the prime suspects?"

"Yes. It was the names that alerted us. Tara's, because of it's similarity to the name of My Immortal's author, and your's, because of it's attempt to mark you as a relative of Linda Holling, one of OFUM's first students."

"But now... I don't care anymore. The Multiverse is dead, killed by... someone or something we have not anticipated. I would rather... have it ressurected half-sue than have it not ressurected at all."

"You know what?" said Lyta. "I think the same way."

She openly revealed the beautiful rainbow colored orbs that served her as eyes, and drew Makes-Things into her once again.

Truly, she was the luckiest Mary Sue on this reborn Multiverse.

I actually have the second chapter of a story that the reviews on FfL were updated for, but the chapter itself was never posted. If someone would be kind enough to add it when the site's updated next, the chapter is here.


Chapter two

Hehehe I left you all on a cliffie last time!

Thanks for the nice reviews XxLuminescent-TearsxX and MystikalLuvrrRr because at least its nice to know that some people lke my work unlike some people like that honest critic person who doesn’t know what theyre talking about.

A/n; I decided that even though Kelvins from lOTr hed know about Star Wars because of working in the PpC so that’s why he knows about Sith and Jedi just in case anybody wonders why.

Rilwen lunged at Kelvin to kill him because she thought it was all his fault that Cavan was being gay and she didn;t care that he was Kelvins true Love. But Cavan was a Sith like Rilwen and he jumped in front of Kelvin to save him and drew his own lightsaber and he began fighting with Rilwen to make her stop trying to kill them and eventually he beat her and her lightsaber stopped working and Cavan was gong to kill her but he didn;t because Kelvin was there and Kelvins goodness made Cavan feel ashamed of being evil because that’s what Sith are so he put his lightsaber down and told Rilwen “Go away”. “I will let you live but you must never try to harm Kelvin again”. “He is a good person and I love him and you must accept that because you are homosexual yourself”.

And Rilwen didnt answer but she knew he was right and she ran away crying to find her lover and left them alone. Kelvin sighed in relief and turned to Cavan and gave him a pasionate embrace and whispered “Thank you for saving me”.

Cavan looked up at him sadly and replied “Your goodness is what made me do it because Im not a good person myself”. “Im a Sith and we are evil but youre so good that I cant be with you because youre too good to love somebody evil”.

Kelvin was heartbroken bcause he knew Cavan was his one True Love and he didnt want to lose him but he knew Cavan was right so he thought for a while and then he said “I dont want to lose you Cavan but if youre evil then we cant be together but thre is a way for us to be together”. “You can turn to the Light Side of the Force and be a Jedi like Luke Skywalker because he was able to love even though he was a Jedi”.

And Cavan smiled and said “Yes Ill do that for you and then we can always be together” and he stopped being Sith and came to the Light Side and was a Jedi and then Kelvin was happy because he could finally be together with his True love and they made love together and they were both happy.

And all the girls who wanted to be with kelvin were sad at first because they knew he could never get with them now but they were happy because he was happy and Kelvin and Cavan were so hot together. And in the end they went up to the Flowers and got transferred so that Kelvin and Cavan were partners and could be together and because they were good they made sure that Rilwen and Lyra were together as well so that they could love each other even though theyd been so mean to them.

The End‼!11!1‼!

Please R/r!

Damnit, why do I never have any time on my hands? When does this finish, anyway?
~Silikat the rubbish-at-dates-and-maths-so-there

A/N: Ima back! SOrry it took so long! NEway, heres the next chapter of Jaycacacia''s latest advemture - after the reviewr replys!

Ellintyra Lloysinthayr: OMG i now! Ihave tryd and tryd to get the fanficland to do somthing, but tehy WONT. umm but tahnks for teh comments and i hop you liike this chapterr!

Burning Watier: hehehe, not in tihs chappie, but mabee teh neckst!

*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-*

Chapter Three - Dark

Jaycacia sat up in the darkness without knowing what had awoken her. She felt like she had heard something, but there was no sound in the glade. It's probably nothing, she thought, and rolled over to put her arm around the SO.

He wasn't there.

Neither was Jay.

Jaycacia wasn't worried, of course. She was Jaycacia Thornbyrd, and they were Jay Thorntree and the Sunflower Official. With the power of love, they could overcome any danger. Still, it was best to be sure. She got up and looked around.

The darkness was deep in this place, lit only by a thin crescent moon. Jaycacia could just make out the tree on which – she smiled at the memory – Jay had carved a picture of her a few hours earlier. She wandered over and brushed her fingers over the wood.

There was something sticky on the tree. Jaycacia gasped softly and snapped her fingers, using the secret powers given to her at birth by a wandering Daffodil (A/N: Remember that? They were in the first story!) to flood the grove with light.

There was blood on the tree. Someone had been writing on it. In blood. Jaycacia stared in horror. There was blood on the picture. In thin, spidery letters, it read, All things will end when the Weaver rises. Jaycacia fainted.

She awoke a moment later, spurred on by her fear for her loved ones. Jaycacia wasn't used to being afraid – she was strong enough to defeat most dangers – but she overcame it and gathered her thoughts. On the ground were the faint marks of Jay's and the SO's feet (A/N: Or should that be roots?), leading off into the forest. There was something else around the footprints... a ring of disturbed earth. Whatever had made the marks must have left the message. That meant it had taken Jaycacia's lovers captive, and that could not be borne. The young Assassin ran into the forest after them, trusting her sense of the SO's location to guide her.

When at last she felt her husband drawing near, Jaycacia stopped, leaning against a tree. Whatever had intruded on their holiday was just around the next corner – she could hear something now, a low humming noise. Carefully she crept to the cliff that formed one side of the road, edged along it, and peered round...

~

The single sheet of closely-printed paper floated down through the air and landed on Jay Thorntree's face. She woke with a start, grabbed it, and peered at the first lines. "Oh... bother," she mumbled. "Where are you, Acy?"

"If you didn't have such ridiculously tiny windows, you wouldn't need to ask," Acacia's voice said from across the room. "You know what your problem is? You don't consider your friends when you make these decisions."

"Says the woman who moved to Ancient Rome," Jay pointed out. She shuffled her feet out of bed and walked to the window.

"Aquae Sulis now," Acacia corrected. "My jewellery is a big hit."

"The Suethors would be very glad to hear it, except not." Jay read a few more lines of the sheet of paper Acacia had thrown at her. "Was this really necessary?"

"I just thought you'd like to see it," Acacia said, sounding as innocent as she could. "Would you mind opening your door and letting me in? It's cold out here."

"... I'll think about it," Jay replied. "Let me read this first..."

The opportunity to rape the PPC style of things intentionally sounds really, really tempting for me because I can do it with minimal effort. Just imagine what I could do if I tried.

Too bad I can't write poorly, either. The only thing I can consider putting in this is too well written to be badfic in my opinion, yet it's so against the PPC's spirit that it could be used...

Curse me and my tendency to take everything seriously.

Summary: Dustin O'Grady and Verra Rose. OMGTheirloveissodraconic! 5 and Alec bashing, character death. Soon after LoR.
Category: PPC - Fiction Rated: PG-13 - English - Romance

Chapter 1: Just Gotta Get Right Out of Here!

Alec threw a plate at Verra. "YOU MISSED A ...ING GREASE SPOT!" he exclaimed as the plate crashed at her feet. Dreading the beatings that were to come, she fled the Response Center.

D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V

Tawaki was away visiting Tadkeeta and the twins in Medical. Five of Six and Dustin were quarreling over Five's behavior on their last mission.
"Five of Six," said Dustin. "Don't think I didn't see you drooling over Harry Sullivan AND the Fourth Doctor AND some of those sciantists."
"You're seeing things," said Five of Six.
"Young master is correct," said K-9.
"You can just bugger off, you sagging old rustbucket. No, I don't mean literally bugger. I think he's rewired you to reinforce his paranoia. Maybe he should check in to FicPsych. Or maybe I should assimilate him."
Dustin gulped.
"Ill-advised," said K-9 "Young master? Recommend your departure for a few hours."
Dustin did just that.

D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V D&V

Verra was in the Lounge when she saw a young man with hair like rubies, eyes like sappires, and wings like carnelian. She was quickly in love.

This is a game where we write PPC Badfic? And we don't need permission(Well, according to the wiki, Permission is one of the strategies employed to avoid PPC badfic so, it would be a contradiction if it was required)?
So I could create a Sue!Agent? That's awesome... I'm definitely writing something there...

We. Are. Doomed.

Although it could lead to some exceptionally amusing opportunities in missions... when the Word World is mucking around with HQ itself, fun things happen.

Methinks that the department which definitely does not exist will not be very busy at all, since it doesn't exist, but if it did it certainly would be.

Thats only...a long way away from 'Vegas. Too bad, really.

I'll have to run it by my parents.

Depending on whether or not I can catch a space on my aunt's couch before heading back to Olympia for a while.

Well then. Get on that, Az...

The fountain is shiny and slightly surreal - good place for a meetup.

Of course, any suggestions on how to talk to parents about the Scary Internet People are welcome.

Barring utter calamity, I will be there. And probably not square.

As to finding? Look for the group of strange people doing strange things, or at least laughing. Probably strangely.

Seeing as I've never met any of you in person before and haven't the foggiest what you look like!

People actually write fanfiction for The Demented Cartoon Movie? Where do you find it?

I am disturbed by the potential for badfic.

For example, that bit in Mattimeo where Friar Hugo was complaining that the kids had somehow managed to spell Basil's name as "Bazzerl". Would Bazzerl become a Mini-Deepcoiler?

I found once "Sakura Kinomoto" misspelled as "Sakura Kiminoto". I corrected it on the spot, but if it was in a fanfiction it was a mini. A mini-Guardian Sakura, also.

Wait, I said Sakura? *glomps the mini*

Either a mini white plume (for the symbol of his honor) or a jackass (since he's always calling people that).

I'm tempted to say "mini-Nose" ;p

Because if so I've got several Dark is Rising ones:

mini-Milgwyn: Owen Davis, Merriman Lion, Gummery, Jane Stanton, mon [Will's mother, described in one story as "his mon"], Caradog Pritchard

There are also two mini-places, Abersywyth and Huntercome Manor, and a mini-object of power, the Book of Gamarye.

Also if there were an OFU for The Dark is Rising, something I have been toying with for some time, although the amount of bad DIRS fanfic doesn't quite seem to be at that level, it would have a female!White Rider (think Girl Kilconey in OFUR) on the staff.

Do we get to know what your book is? So we can read it?
*looks hopeful*

Oh, I mean, er. Welcome back! Long time no see. :) Have a cookie.

Have a PPC-themed calender to remind yourself that you've been away for a long time.

A book? Awesome! I want to do that, too. Did getting it published really take up so much of your time that you couldn't write other things?
It looks really cool. I think I'll ask my library to get it, since I'm a poor college student.

welcome back TM. nice to see you again. have a railgun.

and i remember you ran the OFU of final fantasy too.

Tungsten's back! Jeez, man...to be honest, you're one of the two reasons I decided to join the PPC (the other being the OS). I feel humbled...
Okay, I'm probably sending a really creepy vibe right now, so lemme just say welcome back! Yeah...

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but welcome back nonetheless!
Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Welcome back! Your missions were some of my favorites, so it's nice to see you around again.

And so many congratulations on your book! I might have to check into that.

Also known as: pretentious subject lines, a how-to guide.

I didn't say anything at first because I was thinking, "Well, I don't remember this person, so I feel weird saying 'welcome back'," only then I was thinking about it and your name sounded familiar and I realized there was a you-character in OFU Redwall, so I can pretend I do remember you and say welcome back.

Also known as: I am really awkward with meeting people.

Also, you have a book! Exciting! It is on my list of things to look for when next I am in a bookstore. Books are cool!

Have, um, this nice rock I found by the lake here. I'm sure it'll look great once it's been shined up a bit.

Congrats on your book! Nice to see you back--Su and Dio are still one of my favorite pairs, and you're pretty fun to have around. ;-)

Hope you enjoy your stay! *offers ceremonial egg whisk*

How much has the PPC changed, do you think? (I'm very junior, only been here a few months. In fact, if this weren't the PPC I probably wouldn't be allowed to be speaking with you.)

Also, congratulations on the book! Can I ask what it's about? And what's it called?

Celebrian or C*l*br**n?

I'm trying to distinguish between the badfic and the character. Although, I suppose any fic in which Celebrian traumatizes anyone is a badfic by definition... Although probably not as bad as the Legendary Badfic by that name.

I'm rambling, pardon me.

Welcome back! :D

Welcome back, I guess. I'm relatively new here, and still tryign to make myself known, not easy for someone who prefers to keep to herself.

Also, congrats on actually getting a book published, and I'm a bit curious about it. As a writer-to-be, that's kind of a goal of mine... I just need to come up with a good concept first.

An oldbie. Makes me kinda self-consious of being a newbie.

*offers wallet* TAKE IT! JUST DON'T HURT ME! D:

You don't know me, I joined... in '09 or '08? *shakes brain* Oh, well. Welcome back. I gift thee with a mutated strawberry.

Ah, I remember the old days. Nice to see you back! Don't know if you remember me. Have a panda that eats, shoots and leaves, though.

I see you around WGW fairly often, but I never post there. >>

Neshomeh's fiance here. We met once. Good times.

Anyways, welcome back. Have a tiny, mechanical Sunflower Official. Just don't let him boss you around and send you on tiny, mechanical missions.

And congratulations on your book!

Hail and well met. Your missions were pretty damn awesome, and it's fantastic to meet you. *offers a welcome-back gift of a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object*

I hope these serve you well in your literary career! Congratulations on the book! What's the title? I'll have to get hold of it.

'Cause a couple of you asked, and I didn't want to reply-spam. :)

The book is "Thief of Midnight", and it's urban fantasy/horror set in Chicago. It carries some holdover influences from my PPC days--mainly 1) the sarcasm and 2) the monster hunters drinking on the job. I can't promise it's good, but at least the press is small enough that I doubt anyone who reads it will be writing Sues for it. (Thank you, God.)

http://www.amazon.com/Thief-Midnight-Catherine-Butzen/dp/1933586311/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279115546&sr=8-1

I've got more stuff about it on my DA, too: http://cjbutzemann.deviantart.com/

We now return you to your regularly scheduled board.

*hug* Remind me to let your OFUR character do something interesting - it's still running (very slowly, as Kit has been finishing university and I've been starting it).

Wow, can't believe all the old PPC'ers that are returning these days. Many congratulations on your book being released, and great to see you back around.

Elcalion, most celebratory

Rookie Boarder Sergio Turbo, reporting, sir!

Glad to see that someone from the "old times" is still around.
Ah, almost forgot. Have a gun. Sues are very nasty now.

Welcome back, o Great Oldbie. I'm Pretzel, writer of Agents Ian Nahinu and Lee Keaton of RC 6237. For your return gift, I present unto you a One-of-a-kind, Special Edition Frying Wok of DOOM^tm, as well as some bleepolate chip cookies and a warm blanket.

*jumps around squeeing in a most undignified manner* hS and you back on the Board and the PPC Badfic Game all in the space of a few days! This is the best week EVER! {X D

Muahaha, evil plotting is evil. Progress is being made, but we shall not speak of it here. >.>

Erm, incidentally, I told you that I was going to archive your missions at some point, right? Well, that got done thanks to Tawaki, and they're here: http://plotprotectors.tripod.com/sudiolond/ Also, if you still have anything else saved from your Geocities site--images, interludes, whatever--I can add it, or adapt it, or possibly replicate it as it was.

In short, it's good to see you here again. ^_^

~Neshomeh

You may or may not remember me (I briefly ran an anti-tentacle society and wondered on the procedure for rescued cephalopods) But I was a bit of a fan.

Anywho, what's new?

I am honored to make your acquaintance. I am further honored to present you with this collection of unpublished novels and a solid platinum spork.

And I will be even more honorably honored to read your novel, when next I visit a bookstore. May I ask the title?

I haven't given these in a while, haven't I?

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

In view of you not being a newbie, I'll skip my usual warnings about using it responsibly.

Congratulations about the book!

There's a bunch of newbies like me around who have read your stories and liked them. If we killed you, there'd be no chance of your ever writing anything else!

We miss you too! *glomp*

Very, very, very excellent to see you again, and very psyched about your book coming out! Was it you who had the publishing issues a while back?

Anyway, very cool stuff, looking forward to it, and link, you loon! Link! (Or title!)

I think I joined just before you left, because I faintly recall a discussion about something along those lines. Anyway, nice to see you again, even if you probably don't remember me.

Congratulations on your book :)