Jun 2010 Archive, part b

  • Real-life trolls by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 01:51:00 UTC Link to this

    Seen 'em? Heard of 'em? Know 'em and hate 'em?

    I am referring, as the subject suggests, to the phenomenon of real-life trolls. Authors who, for some inexplicable reason, have published literature, some of which may be popular. Extremely popular, in one case (I think we all know what I'm referring to. No offense meant to Twilight fans; I just have a healthy dislike for sparkly vampires).

    Actually, in the case of Twilight, I'm almost certain it's an RLTroll, because The Host--also by Meyer--is a good book with solid, 3d characters and a decent plot.

    Fact of life: Parasitic mindcontrol alien centipedes > sparkly vampires.

    That aside, has anyone else come across notable RLTs? I recall a book--forget the title--in which certain people have "Gifts", denoted for some reason by mismatched eyes. "Gifts" quite often have no distinguishable difference between normal talent. Main character--a female "Gifted" with a "Gift" for killing. Her saw-it-coming-a-mile-off boyfriend/traveling companion: another "Gifted" who can distinguish truth. Their antagonist: Psycho-king whose "gift" is to make everyone love him. Objective is stereotypical world domination.

    Much angsting about "my gift is for killing boo hoo," followed by a horribly contrived "But WAIT! It's not for /killing/! It's for /survival/! The court dude I killed when I was five was actually a pedophile!"

    My personal distaste for that book aside, what else have my fellow bookworms seen in their perusals of that great jungle called Literature?

    • As it happens, I like Graceling. by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-11 20:04:00 UTC Link to this

      You have a point about the romance being obvious, but it was also quite cute, and for heaven's sake Katsa's a child soldier. She gets a little angst. I appreciated the idea of the "Graces" varying so much in importance (and what about the weather-discerning Grace from that captain, or the mind-reading young girl who had a cameo near the beginning? Or all the people mentioned in assorted armies who had various warlike Graces? They were pretty well distributed). I also thought the "survival" thing was decently set up, if not perfectly, and as for your "no-wait-he-was-really-a-pedophile" thing, that's a misreading of it. The impression I got was "no-wait-he-was-a-jerk-and-Katsa-was-a-panicking-kid-who-wasn't-thinking." He wasn't really a threat to her, but she was too young to have that kind of perspective.

      Anyway, that's my two cents.

      • Well, the semi-good fandoms anyway (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 22:04:00 UTC Link to this
      • As it happens... I DO TOO by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 22:02:00 UTC Link to this

        I can't say 'don't diss at all' because that would be completely unfair, but I can say "Please, please keep insults on other people's fandoms at a minimum. Please? Thank you."

      • *nods* by Anity on 2010-06-12 07:30:00 UTC Link to this

        I especially appreciated how the female lead goes through the entire novel without wanting marriage/babies, and having a rather antisocial personality. Hell, I thought the fact that she was actually *doing* something about her angst was rather unusual.

        • Yes! Proactive, independent... *loves* by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-12 15:17:00 UTC Link to this

          And what I loved especially was how she managed to create such a tough, I-refuse-to-be-restricted-to-gender-roles girl, and then in Fire she managed to show that a woman can like kids and violins and flower arranging and not be able to kill people with her bare hands, and that doesn't make her the downfall of feminism.

    • Actually... by asterselene on 2010-06-11 07:28:00 UTC Link to this

      From what a friend has told me about the book, The Host is equally as Mary-Sueish and plotless.

      • Definitely looks like Animorphs rip-off by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 22:03:00 UTC Link to this

        I wonder what Meyer would do if a cameraman asked her THAT? Muahaha...

      • I examined the Tv.Tropes page, and for all that it's worth.. by WikiMaster on 2010-06-11 22:28:00 UTC Link to this

        Your Mileage May Vary. Also, the plot elements ripped off were Older than Stargate and Animorphs. That said, I'm not buying that book.

        As for Twilight, I read the first few chapters. I found Bella to be a whiny, ungreatful bitch, but all in all, it wasn't that bad (except for Edward).

      • Re: Actually... by Pretzel on 2010-06-11 11:13:00 UTC Link to this

        Not to mention it seems to rip off the idea of the Tok'ra from Stargate SG-1 and the Yeerk Peace Movement from Animorphs...

        • She did WHAT now?! by Calista on 2010-06-11 14:08:00 UTC Link to this

          Ripping off Animorphs... that just takes the cake. That series was part of my childhood, damnit!

          *foams at mouth and looks for Sue on which to displace anger*

          • Re: She did WHAT now?! by Pretzel on 2010-06-11 23:40:00 UTC Link to this

            Well, I suppose the whole mind-controlling parasite trope isn't anything new, but the basic premise of the book -said parasite doesn't wanna be evil anymore/ relates with its host- totally rips off both fandoms...

          • Ask and ye shall receive by Tawaki on 2010-06-11 16:05:00 UTC Link to this

            The Talent,, My story » by Go-ruden Kiba reviews
            There's a new Animorph: will she prove to be more powerful then any Andilight? Will she become too powerful? Will she be strong enough and use her abilities wisely enough to defeat Visser Three? recently edited.
            Animorphs - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,858 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-12-06 - Published: 6-3-05 - Complete

            • ...what. by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 22:23:00 UTC Link to this

              Admittedly, I didn't finish the series, but what the crap is an Andilight? -has a mental image of a centaur-thing with a giant lightbulb for a head-

            • Will she become /too/ powerful? by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-11 19:46:00 UTC Link to this

              There was never a 'dark side' aspect of morphing dammit. The downside was that you just might get stuck as an animal!

              • For that matter... by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 22:29:00 UTC Link to this

                Does morphing even have degrees of power? How can one morpher be more "powerful" than another? There are degrees of skill, certainly, but that's just how quickly and easily you can morph. And being able to hold half-morphs for a few seconds, etc. Would someone please explain how morphers can be "powerful"? I really don't want to read that bad excuse for a fic to find out...

                • Well theoretically... by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-12 00:06:00 UTC Link to this

                  ...someone really good at morphing might be able to mix the DNA of various animals to get a supercreature. But really, there's no combination of earth creatures that will match up to some of the things Visser 3 has transformed into.

              • No dark side? Morph a Taxxon and then tell me there's none. by Calista on 2010-06-11 20:12:00 UTC Link to this

                But yeah. If you want "dark" anything, then there's enough about Animorphs that's already "dark". You don't have to go and turn morphing into something it wasn't meant to be. Morphing was always the *best* part of it for all of them.

                • Come to the Dark Side... by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 03:35:00 UTC Link to this

                  We have cookies. -cough- Could not resist, sorry.

                  Anyway, being relevant, that's not so much a "dark side" as it is an "unfortunate side effect". You're switching species, you're going to switch sets of instincts. Although I resent the implication that animals are purely instinct-driven creatures.

                • Haven't read the Andalite Chronicles I see by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-12 00:05:00 UTC Link to this

                  There's an andalite that perma-morphs into a taxxon and he winds up joining the Taxxon resistance.

                  They're hungry, and they will cannabalize, but they aren't evil.

                  • No, I've read it. by Calista on 2010-06-12 00:23:00 UTC Link to this

                    I didn't say "evil"; Having your mind taken over by the instinct to eat anything and everything, including your friends, is pretty dang dark, and for a human with a natural cannibalism taboo, it's downright traumatizing. It's no wonder the Taxxons were desperate enough to try that kind of alliance.

                    • Actually... by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 03:40:00 UTC Link to this

                      The human taboo on cannibalism is pretty weak. It's not instinctively ingrained like some others, it's more a social thing than anything else. Personally, I'd prefer not to eat human, but if there was no alternative I'd be perfectly willing to.

                      I hear we taste like pork...

                    • You are misunderstanding my point anyway - by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-12 00:37:00 UTC Link to this

                      I meant there's no Dark Side of the Morph (a la star wars).

            • What?! by Firebird766 on 2010-06-11 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

              Even the description has problems! It's spelled "Andalite," you, you- *incomprehensible noise* ...I admit the last book stank, but that's no excuse to mess around with one of my favorite childhood series like this.

              Also, "recently edited." What. You couldn't even edit out the glaring error in the description?

              • So it's awful. by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 17:00:00 UTC Link to this

                That much is true. But her descriptive errors are hysterical. She refers to a hork-bajir's "rippling mussels," and--my personal favorite--the sentence "a tall boy steeped from the shadows." I get a mental image of a shifty teenage boy hiding in a corner, furtively pouring tea. While holding a packet of hot sauce, as the next sentence adds...

    • Trolls, you say? by Barid on 2010-06-11 02:18:00 UTC Link to this

      Having thought about this for a bit, a lot of what I have seen from the Twilight series is actually a decent start at a good story. There are quite a few things that need to be tweaked and reworked, but that is true of all of us (admittedly, we don't call it good and publish it at that stage).

      I am not sure I would classify it as a Troll.

      Different views on vampires...I can live with that. It's overly dramatic a lot, but I can live with that as well.

      The only major problem that I have seen in the whole deal is Bella. She has no redeeming qualities and, as far as I can tell, no real thought process. She does things without ever thinking about anything. If she were to be a more real character, we might not even be having this discussion.

      I suppose my closing thoughts on this would be: It is possible for a good writer to write something that is sub-par, that doesn't necessarily make the literature in question a Troll.

      • Apologies by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 02:49:00 UTC Link to this

        I suppose the Twilight reference was uncalled for. I can't deny it seems to have potential, but as you say, it would need a great deal of tweaking.

        I realize that writers do occasionally write below their full ability. On the other hand, there are certain works that are so /bad/--cliché, Sued, boring, or just plain badly-written--that you can hardly believe they were even published. Not specifically accusing authors of being trolls, but works that you could see as having been trolls--you see what I mean? They may be serious, they may be a troll. I think I'm failing to convey what I mean...

        The second book, the one of which I forgot the title, is a better example. Plot-from-a-box, flat characters, powers that are generally lame except in the case of main characters, who are overpowered.

        • Never attribute to maliciousness... by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-11 05:03:00 UTC Link to this

          ...what you can attribute to laziness.

          If Meyer has written better stuff, it's more believable that Twilight was more of a fetish piece for her, written with less thought put into it.

          Trollers have a specific target in mind: in a forum, the target is the entire community. Well, for a book that wound up getting hugely popular that simply can't be the case. So who is left to be the target? Intellectuals?

          When you get down to writing something with the sole intention of pissing off a specific group of people, I don't think it's a troll that did it - I think it's an artist.

          • Interesting. by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 22:19:00 UTC Link to this

            You have a point. My definition of trolls appears to be a bit off; I think of trolls as not particularly malicious, more practical-jokers. Extremely irritating practical jokers. The kind of practical jokers who throw your shoes over telephone wires...

            Anyway, I don't see trolls are particularly evil, though they're certainly annoying--more of "Hey, will this actually get /published/? Holy crap, it did! And people /like/ it!"

            • So, L. Ron Hubbard? (nm) by Neshomeh on 2010-06-12 00:44:00 UTC Link to this
              • Oh no you didn't! (nm) by Simon on 2010-06-12 15:48:00 UTC Link to this
  • It's my birthday! by Neshomeh on 2010-06-11 21:43:00 UTC Link to this

    Yup. At around 9:00 tonight, I will officially be a quarter of a century old. How about that?

    Agent!Neshomeh is hosting a party down in the Archives. Everyone is welcome, but no fire allowed. No, not even for Flaming Denethors. Otherwise, BYOB. Cake, ice cream, and cookies of the Convenient variety will be provided.

    ... Woo!

    ~Neshomeh

    • Happy Birthday to you! by Candescence on 2010-06-13 17:13:00 UTC Link to this

      Late, but what the heck. Also, quarter of a century old? I think I'm gonna be a fifth a century old in December, myself, haha.

    • Happy birthday! by Miah on 2010-06-13 00:00:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy birthday!

      Did 25 make you feel old? That whole quarter of a century thing really got to me.

      By the way, June 11th is an excellent birthday! My middle child turned 9 at about 12:34 am yesterday.

      • Oh yeah, I almost forgot! by Miah on 2010-06-13 00:16:00 UTC Link to this

        A birthday present!

        A link to a page full of cute baby animals (and one really, really scary looking dog just to keep you on your toes.)

        http://babyanimalz.com/

        And to Agent!Neshomeh, one of Agent Miah's seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarves (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

        Since it is your birthday, you can get away with no warning to use them responsibly. Yay!

    • HAPPY BIRTHDAY! by Chliever on 2010-06-12 22:25:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy 25th.

      And, err... I sent you my first draft.

    • THANKS, GUYS! by Neshomeh on 2010-06-12 20:14:00 UTC Link to this

      I had a very nice day with a good dinner and cake in it. ^_^

      As for the party...

      Neshomeh greeted each guest as they arrived and amassed quite an impressive pile of gifts and extra food. She had no idea what the "riding quirt" was, but figured that you never know what might come in handy some day, and added it to the stack. Other archivists occasionally wandered by to complain about the raucous New Age music, but they were placated with free food and drinks and either joined the festivities or went away.

      As the night wore on, Neshomeh, being introverted and almost reclusive in person, gradually retreated into the background and let the party carry on by itself. Since parties are often acknowledged as fully sentient, independent entities, it came as no surprise that it did so without a problem.

      Bleeprum was quaffed in mass quantities. Agent Earwig hadn't been told about the party--he was sure an invitation was sent, of course, but it must have gotten lost, and it would be rude to seem to have forgotten--but he turned up in the middle of it anyway and made up for being without a gift by providing a very nice set of kitchen implements that had fallen into his pockets. Agent Derik kept an eye on him after that and made sure to frisk him at intervals.

      Agent Ilraen, who had arrived in human morph for the sake of space, had to be restrained from scientifically sampling all the food, since the sample sizes required would have put a serious dent in the supplies. However, this was forgotten when Agent Barid, the seven-foot blue Troll, took advantage of the space now empty of profiteroles to get up and dance on the table, clad only in pants and a wide-brimmed purple hat. He claimed to have only drunk the punch, but this had been left unattended since its arrival and was viewed with suspicion by everyone. This did not stop them from drinking it.

      Finally, when all the food was gone, people wandered back to their own RCs or, as fate would have it, to random closets, other people's RCs, or the space under the table.

      Yes, Neshomeh decided as Arasgorn the mini-Aragog carted the last of them away in a roll of spider-silk: it had been a good day.

      ---

      Feel free to fill in what happened to your agents if you like. {= )

      ~Neshomeh

      • A riding quirt is a kind of whip, I think. by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 22:00:00 UTC Link to this

        dictionary.com says a quirt is
        –noun
        1.
        a riding whip consisting of a short, stout stock and a lash of braided leather.

        So, use it well! [on Mary-Sues?]

      • A riding quirt is a kind of whip, I think. by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:56:00 UTC Link to this

        dictionary.com says a quirt is
        –noun
        1.
        a riding whip consisting of a short, stout stock and a lash of braided leather.

        So, use it well! [on Mary-Sues?]

      • Oh, my Agents did the usual. by Khajidu on 2010-06-12 20:27:00 UTC Link to this

        Eating everything, drinking everything, singing too loud, dancing on the tables and then leaving the party drunk, leaning on each other and singing dirty songs their lungs out all the way to their RC. Which they found only because they were too drunk to pay attention to where they were going. Then, they had an afterparty in their RC and drank some more.


        And they woke up with the worst hangover in multiverse history.

        • Idea! You sparked an idea! by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:50:00 UTC Link to this

          For the Mary-Sues that are far too apt to go to large banquets, drink a lot of potent alcohol to show off to their lust interest, and then wake up bright and cheery and ride off into the sunset at a gallop, we could invent a kind of poison called 'hangover poison'. Gosh, ideas are sprouting from all around in this Board!

    • Happy Birthday (late arrival) by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-12 20:13:00 UTC Link to this

      Here's my gift: a Random Sue Execution Gun. Beware, still experimental. Not even field tested (it was a thing I was thinking for my agents... but by now they do not exist).

    • I feel like a n00b now... by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 17:16:00 UTC Link to this

      Well, I am a newbie, but I still feel like a n00b for asking this.

      Um... where are the archives?

      • No worries. by Neshomeh on 2010-06-12 19:14:00 UTC Link to this

        There are several possible answers, but if you're wondering about a single, discreet web location, there isn't one. There wasn't a role-play or anything like that going on, except what people have posted in-character right here, which is all I was going for. {= )

        As for their location in HQ, I don't really know, but I suspect they're in one or more of the many sub-basements. That is the proper location for such things according to the Narrative Laws.

        Of course, if you want to get meta, the archives are anyplace PPC stories and data are recorded. The Wiki is part of the archives, as is the LJ community, as are all individual PPCers' websites, etc. It's about as insane a sprawling mess as the in-universe archives, I expect. *g*

        ~Neshomeh

        • Your Belated Present Is... by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:54:00 UTC Link to this

          A new [not even published yet] Illusion Maker, which on Setting #3 will create an illusion around you instead of actually turning you into whatever it is you want to turn into. A lot less dirt and hassle, except getting down coordination between your actual body and the illusion is kind of annoying. Oh well, it's only version 1.1

          And if that's a failure, I gift you a big hug. :)

        • Ah. ^.^ Thanks. (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-13 02:50:00 UTC Link to this
    • a day late by Elemarth on 2010-06-12 15:59:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy birthday! Have an ice cream sundae.

    • Happy Birthday! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-12 14:52:00 UTC Link to this

      And many birthday wishes all around.

      I hope chocolate makes a good gift (especially several bars tied together with ribbon)?

    • Yay! by Silikat on 2010-06-12 13:41:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy Birthday to you (for yesterday)
      Happy Birthday to you (for yesterday)
      Happy Birthday, dear Neshomeh!
      Happy Brithday to you! (for yesterday)

      Your present is...three baskets of assorted cookies.

    • Congratulations! by Elcalion on 2010-06-12 13:16:00 UTC Link to this

      25 years, a milestone indeed! Hope the day was happy, and enjoy the rest of the year.
      * * *
      Agents Logan, Aegis and Kern have turned up to the Archives prepped in full party mode. Logan is carrying a platter of chocolate-covered profiteroles, while Kern is carrying a barrel of Bleeprum. Aegis is carrying a giant bowl of punch (as yet unspiked, but who knows what will happen).

      As they enter the Archives, they yell in theoretical-unison "Happy birthday, Neshomeh!"

      Elcalion, festive

    • Happy birthday! (nm) by Laburnum on 2010-06-12 11:27:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy Birthday! by Vixenmage on 2010-06-12 04:43:00 UTC Link to this

      *glomps*

      Cake! Confetti! Other party-esque things!

      Holy crap, Neshomeh. You're practically an adult! XD Well, happy birthday, and I wish you an excellent year! ^^ Have fun!

    • A very happy birthday to you! by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-12 04:05:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a large box of chocolates, a card, and a Capillary Towel, along with my sincere best wishes.

    • Happy Birthday, ma'am! by doctorlit on 2010-06-12 03:10:00 UTC Link to this

      In honor of your quarter century, have a quart of milk, a bucket of quarters and a riding quirt.

      Happy birthday!

    • Happy biiiiiiirthdaaaaay... (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-12 02:30:00 UTC Link to this
    • Huzzah! by Pretzel on 2010-06-12 02:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy Birthday! Your present is a Deluxe, Limited Time Only, Complete Set of Various Kitchen Implements of DOOOMTM, complete with Mini-Chopper of PerilTM and Paring Knife of Moderate DangerTM.

      *heads off to the party*

    • Happy happy birthday! by Gen on 2010-06-12 02:12:00 UTC Link to this

      *brings a giant cake shaped like a panda*

    • Have a Mark II K-9! by Tawaki on 2010-06-12 02:08:00 UTC Link to this

      Data on tennis optional.

    • WHOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! by Sedri on 2010-06-12 01:37:00 UTC Link to this

      I give you a Bag and a 'Shut Your Console Up For Two Weeks' voucher, also known as a big Hammer. :D

      Agent Sedri now dashes off to join the party starting in Cassie's thread. *dash*

    • Happy birthday! by PoorCynic on 2010-06-12 01:31:00 UTC Link to this

      And much rejoicing was had by all, especially those who love free cake.

    • Happy birthday, here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-12 00:45:00 UTC Link to this

      And my Agents are coming to the party. Krisprolls has brought some surprises. Don't ask what they are, you might get some...

    • UR OLD by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-12 00:02:00 UTC Link to this

      Ancient even. Like one and a half years older than me.

      Congratulations :P

    • Whee! Happy birthday! by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-11 23:39:00 UTC Link to this

      I hereby gift you with a sack of pebbles, your own customised sling to throw them with, and a basket of Bleeprin-berries from my Bleeprin-berry bush. Tied to the handle of the basket is a biiig balloon reading "Happy 25th Birthday!"

      ***

      Down in the Archives...

      A rather large number of people arrived, bearing gifts ranging from chocolate to high-grade explosives and many other useful and amusing items. Neshomeh found herself hugged, glomped and generally congratulated before the group dispersed to give her some breathing room.

    • Have some Anti-Lustin ballons! by WikiMaster on 2010-06-11 22:30:00 UTC Link to this

      And a Cake made up of Memes.

      • Is the cake a lie? (nm) (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 17:14:00 UTC Link to this
        • 1/4ths of it is. by WikiMaster on 2010-06-12 22:48:00 UTC Link to this

          The rest is made up of other memes.

          • The cake is a pie-chart? (nm) by Barid on 2010-06-14 01:08:00 UTC Link to this
            • It can if it wants to. by Eclectus on 2010-06-14 01:44:00 UTC Link to this

              Cake and pie. Omnomnomnom...

    • My gift. by Sneezier on 2010-06-11 22:29:00 UTC Link to this

      It's a haro from Gundam 00, they make great robotic pets. They are like Gundam's answer to R2-D2 minus the repairing stuff.

    • ^.^ by Eclectus on 2010-06-11 22:25:00 UTC Link to this

      Congratulations! :D Have a llama. It spits. Fire. At Sues.

  • OT: FMA chapter 108- SPOILERS be in this thread! by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-12 02:35:00 UTC Link to this

    It made me cry.
    (Not as much as the first anime did, though.)
    What did the rest of you think?

    • Agreed. by Eclectus on 2010-06-12 03:29:00 UTC Link to this

      I didn't cry at the manga, although I did at the first anime ending. I mean, /this/ one ended happy. The first anime had a horrible tear-jerker ending, though it was made slightly more entertaining by the "I want /you/ to live! No, I want /you/ to live!"

      I just finished the chapter; I'm sort of in a state of shock. "Holy crap, it's /over/." I almost can't believe it... I've been a fangirl of the series for a while, and now I don't get to be excited about "It's almost the 12th! New chapter soon!"

      On another note, this one was /long/. 0.o It's about three times as long as most of the others. Probably 'cause it's the last one, and Arakawa wanted to finish the series... I'm still having trouble believing it's over.

      Polly wanna sequel.

      And since the spoiler warning was in the thread, I get to say this: I am SO FREAKING GLAD they made Ed/Winry canon. Hopefully this will kill some of the slashers. I'm not a particular fan of the pairing myself, but it's my favorite out of all the potential matchups. DEFINITELY better than Elricest or RoyEd. Ugh. No.

      • AGREED! by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-13 01:16:00 UTC Link to this

        Eh, I'm not much of a one for pairings in any case, but canon is a marvelous thing, innit? I mean, we all knew it was coming, so I didn't think of "Ed and Winry are in WUV!" as a spoiler, really. Well, it's better than some of the stuff they did in Anime Number One (shall we just call it A-1 Steak Sauce?). ScarbroXLust, and apparently Scar wuv'd her too, OMG WTF BBQ, now I have Nightwish stuck in my head...
        Zotz and I were watching A-1 online... we gave up around episode 48 or something... arg! When he returns (he's on a camping trip at the moment and I have taunted him with the knowledge that I read ch.108 and he didn't), I'll suggest we see Brotherhood... that one's more canon, isn't it?
        This has been incoherent. Just don't ask the Maudlin about her fangirlisms or you'll be here all week.

        • Brotherhood by Eclectus on 2010-06-13 13:16:00 UTC Link to this

          Yeah. Brotherhood was intended to follow the anime more closely, but given as the very first episode introduced a character who never existed in the manga (Mr. Ice Alchemist)...

          A-1 is pretty good, actually, if you ignore the blatant plot issues.

          • Butting in with a request. by Neshomeh on 2010-06-13 15:41:00 UTC Link to this

            Would either or both of you care to add some information about the manga to our Wiki page on FMA? I've only seen the anime, so that's all I could write about when I made it. (Of course, that's probably all most FMA badficcers have seen, too, but you never know.)

            That said, I understand that Arakawa deliberately chose for the anime to diverge from the manga plot-wise. Does that make the differences more forgivable?

            ~Neshomeh

            • Sure! by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-14 13:03:00 UTC Link to this

              Exactly what sort of information do you want more of?

            • I hate double-posting... by Eclectus on 2010-06-13 16:59:00 UTC Link to this

              But I just thought of something--since we're a badfic-sporking group, shouldn't our pages on series have lists of frequently-occurring phenomena, particularly those that are prone to turning into badfic? Major Lust Objects, overpopular pairings, that sort of thing. I'ono, it just seems like a good idea to me.

            • Well... by Eclectus on 2010-06-13 16:53:00 UTC Link to this

              Actually, I like the differences. The problem with anime vs. manga is that the plots are exactly the same, so after a while, watching the anime gets boring (or reading the manga--I usually read the manga first, though). With FMA, it's two different plots, although they're both equally FMA, so the anime is still interesting even though I've already read the manga.

              ...Did that make sense? I hope it did.

              And to the other part of the message, sure! ^^

              • I'm gonna have to disagree. by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-15 00:08:00 UTC Link to this

                Having read the manga usually makes me more eager to see the anime, in a kind of "ooh, I can't wait to see that animated!" sort of way.

                • What you said... by Eclectus on 2010-06-15 00:57:00 UTC Link to this

                  ...but I never manage to finish the series. I get about halfway through before I get bored, sometimes less--and the quality of the voice-acting has a lot to do with it. If the voices fit the characters, I'll keep watching, but if they sound all wrong, then I'll just give up.

                  And I know not everyone shares this opinion, but the easier a series is to find in Japanese with English subtitles, the more likely I am to watch it. I dislike English dubs on general principle, though the degree of dislike varies. I saw an anime once where the narrator couldn't even pronounce the characters' names right... -shudder- Awful.

                  • Re: What you said... by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-16 01:01:00 UTC Link to this

                    I usually use http://www.watchanimeon.com/ for all my anime watching needs. It's got things in Japanese with English subtitles, although the fansubs are occasionally not so good. And you only get seventy-two minutes of watching per day. But it's free and you shouldn't be on the computer that long anyway because you'll rot your eyes.
                    I don't watch dubs either, although: "TINY MINISKIRTS!"

  • Wiki pages for Sues with multiple names? by Laburnum on 2010-06-12 13:35:00 UTC Link to this

    If a Sue goes by multiple names over the course of the fic, what name do we put them under on the Wiki? The one used most often? I ask because I want to make a page for my first mission, which featured a Blaise Zabini Sue (set before HBP) who turned out to really be an elf and renamed Elessario.

    • I don't really see why Sues should have pages at all. by Sedri on 2010-06-13 00:34:00 UTC Link to this

      Maybe it's just me, but aside from the most infamous, Legendary-Badfic-Type 'Sues around, what is the point in giving them their own wiki pages? A list noting which Sues have been killed, sure, but I would think the wiki should be more for PPC-specific information, not an account of every Sue out there in fandom.

      That said, I more or less agree with the others: The 'real' name would be best, but if it's very similar to other names, take the more unique version - Elessario, in this case, certainly. The only down side to this is that people who started reading the badfic and didn't get as far as that name's first mention might not connect the two. But, eh.

      • I don't know, people started making them and it's fun. (nm) by Laburnum on 2010-06-13 01:13:00 UTC Link to this
        • As good a reason as any, I suppose. (nm) by Sedri on 2010-06-13 02:48:00 UTC Link to this
    • And do groups of Sues require individual pages? by Laburnum on 2010-06-13 00:17:00 UTC Link to this

      I ask because I've seen one mission by Technical Errors and written one myself in which there are multiple OCs who might as well be completely interchangeable, and don't really have enough personality to require their own pages. On the other hand, putting them all on one page could be unwieldy.

    • Both by IndeMaat on 2010-06-12 17:23:00 UTC Link to this

      and then have one redirect to the other. At the top of that one you make it clear that the Sue is known under two names.

      It's not a bad thing to start two new wiki pages. It makes the wiki grow faster. ;-)

    • Most important name by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-12 16:22:00 UTC Link to this

      I think the best thing to do is to use the most "official" name avaible. If the sue is called X, but then is discovered that her true/complete name is Y, then is to be called Y. If all names are at the same level of importance, use the one found in the fiction description.

      • I agree... by Barid on 2010-06-12 17:05:00 UTC Link to this

        If it is found out that the character's true name is Elessario, then that is the Sue's name. It further proves that they are not the real Blaise Zabini, so it should be the name on the wiki with Blaise Zabini as an alias.

    • And while I'm here, another problem ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-12 14:10:00 UTC Link to this

      Posting here to avoid double-posting. Recently I agreed to co-mod an LJ community with someone I didn't really know - it sort of got spawned out of a joke I made which started up a conversation. Since then, that person has been involved in a lot of nasty flamewars on LJ's Fanficrants community. I don't really want to be associated with them anymore because of this. However, we haven't actually talked since we set the comm in question up, the comm hasn't got much traffic, and we're not on each other's friendslists. Does anyone think it necessary for me to drop the community and leave them to it, or carry on and just ignore them since the comm doesn't actually require us to interact?

      • Re: And while I'm here, another problem ... by Simon on 2010-06-12 15:47:00 UTC Link to this

        If you don't want to be associated with them, then I'd say leaving is the best move for you. If you still want to be part of the community, then hang around, if not, then leave.

        There may be some redundancy or things that don't work together in the above statement.

  • Permission Request by Pretzel on 2010-06-13 02:22:00 UTC Link to this

    I hereby humbly request Permission. My Agents' info is as follows:

    Name: Amelia Keaton (Lee); Agent Keaton and/or Agent Lee
    Age: 26
    Species: Lithrani [Tri-morphic shapeshifter (She can shift between cougar, human, and humanoid cougar forms and it's not lunar controlled; therefore, she's not considered a true were-creature. She tends to stay in human form, though, since missions are never predictable, and it's easier for her to program the disguise generator for human-shaped forms and not have to worry about tails.) ]
    Home Continuum: Magical Alternate Modern Day World One; Home Town: Brooklyn, NYC, NY
    Height: 5'6"
    Hair: Blonde
    Eyes: Green
    Department: DMS
    Partner: Ian Nahinu
    Fandom(s): Stargate Atlantis, Leverage, Stargate Universe, Firefly, Discworld, CSI: NY, NCIS, CSI, Eureka, Warehouse 13, Star Wars (She prefers the Original Trilogy, though, holding the Prequels in high distaste), LotR, PotC

    Lust-object(s): Peter Kavanagh, David Hodges, Dale Volker, Nikola Tesla (Sanctuary). She tends to go for side characters, going under the logic that since most 'Sues ignore them, she won't go Bursar and muck up the mission.

    Weapon(s): Claws and teeth when in full cougar form; generally either a wand, sword, bow, or gun, depending on what's considered canon in the Word World she's going into for everything else. For guns, she likes a Beretta 92FS for small arms, and a P-90 for large guns (when applicable). She always carries her cast-iron Frying Pan of Doom(tm) with her in her Weightless & Bottomless Satchel; she says it's to attempt to knock some sense into 'Sues and Author Wraiths. Also, it's quite useful for camping. She is also able to use Elemental magics, with Water being her strongest Element, followed by Earth, Air, and Fire (in order of aptitude).

    Personality: She's the more temperamental of the pair, and utilizes a large vocabulary of invectives from many different fandoms, though she tends to use Firefly slang quite a bit. She has been more than once accused of not having a sense of humor, though this is mainly because hers makes appearances only rarely in groups she isn't entirely comfortable with. Her partner, Ian, is often confused when people talk about Lee's lack of a sense of humor, but then again, he's also spent the most time with her and therefore sees more of her dry humor. Lee likes to bake when she has the time, and will often drop brownies or other baked goods off at the RCs of newbies or give them to the few friends she's managed to make and hold on to.

    Notes: Her species stops physically aging ~25 and lives for ~700 years or so on average, but can be killed by any normal means- shooting, stabbing, etc. everyone in her home continuum has magical abilities, and Lee had been a freelance Mage-Detective for a private company in NYC, but she'd been laid off a few weeks prior to her recruitment by the PPC. She's best at offensive and defensive magics, but can do some healing spells as well (Anything above a complex break of a bone is beyond her- she can't do much with internal bleeding and the like.), and a few party-trick-style spells, like simple levitation of small objects and pretty colored lights in the air. She keeps several small novelty fountains near her bed to help her feel a bit more connected with her elemental powers, since she hasn't found anywhere in HQ so far that's got a large amount of water in it that isn't either chlorinated or isn't mixed with Bleeprin.


    Name: Ian Nahinu; Agent Nahinu
    Age: 24
    Species: Human
    Home Continuum: World One; Hometown: Honolulu, Hawai'i
    Department: DMS
    Divison: Freelance
    Partner: Amelia Moorehaven
    Fandom(s): Most Sci-fi fandoms (Save for BSG and Babylon 5), Discworld, Criminal Minds, NCIS, NCIS: LA, PotC, LotR
    Lust-object(s): Emily Prentiss, Kathryn Janeway, Leia

    Weapon(s): Generally whatever's considered canon, but most often a gun- a Sig Sauer P220 that he carries around in a thigh holster. He's okay with a sword, but if he has to deal with bladed weapons, he'll go for the switchblade he keeps on him at all times. He's also been known to employ whatever nearby object that can be used as a weapon, often a hammer of some sort, causing Lee to make jokes about him watching and/or playing "Clue" one too many times.

    Appearance: He kind of resembles Jason Momoa/Ronon Dex from Stargate Atlantis, in that he is of Native Samoan stock, is tall, and wears his hair in dreadlocks that have beads decorating them. He normally keeps them tied back with a leather tie for missions, but will let the dreads hang free when he's bumming around HQ. His resemblance to Ronon/Jason means that he is in danger of getting glomped by agents with Ronon as their registered LO. Lee finds this very funny, but is in fact quite protective of her partner, and will ward off anyone who makes him too uncomfortable. He has brown eyes and is around 6'3". He has a small koi fish tattooed on his upper back, in between his shoulderblades. He occasionally wears a head scarf, and is well aware that it makes him look like a pirate, but could care less.

    Personality: Ian is quite laid back when compared to Lee, and tends to be more at home with large crowds. He's quick on his feet when it comes to restraining Lee when she gets too annoyed with something. He's still getting used to the fact that magic really does exist and that he's now working for a bunch of sentient Flowers. He is often caught off guard by some of Lee's habits, but will more often than not ignore them if they're not hazardous to either of them or to the outcome of a mission. He is protective of Lee, but also is trying to get her to be a bit more social, which is taking some doing.

    My writing sample is here. *crosses fingers and hopes for the best*

    • Permission granted! by Neshomeh on 2010-06-13 04:23:00 UTC Link to this

      Just two things I want to mention, only one of which might be an ongoing problem. First the easy one: you seem to have entered "Amelia Moorehaven" instead of "Amelia Keaton" as Ian's partner. Were you toying with different names? {= )

      Second, in-sentence parenthetical remarks don't need to be punctuated like separate sentences. What you have here is wrong:

      She wandered the halls, softly singing a few verses of "I Wanna Be a Producer" under her breath (She had a great fondness for musicals, especially the comedic ones, though she had a soft spot in her heart reserved especially for The Rocky Horror Show and its movie adaptation.) and not entirely paying attention to where she was going, which was just as well, given the odd multidimensional topography that made up the seemingly endless gray hallways and rooms of the PPC.

      It might be best to break that long sentence up into smaller ones, but assuming you want to keep it one sentence, the parenthetical remark should be uncapitalized and externally punctuated:
      She wandered the halls, softly singing a few verses of "I Wanna Be a Producer" under her breath (she had a great fondness for musicals, especially the comedic ones, though she had a soft spot in her heart reserved especially for The Rocky Horror Show and its movie adaptation), and ...

      On the other hand, if a parenthetical remark is outside of any other sentence, it should be punctuated internally and capitalized.

      Let me know if that all makes sense.

      Otherwise, enjoy your new hobby!

      ~Neshomeh

      • Huzzah! by Pretzel on 2010-06-13 06:42:00 UTC Link to this

        *headdesk* Yes, I was toying with different names. My bad.

        And I'll be sure to change the parenthetical problem. Thanks for pointing it out!

        *Runs off to go change it*

        ~Preztel

  • Family Guy Goodfic by Sneezier on 2010-06-13 05:09:00 UTC Link to this

    A fanfic that's really good and it felt like I'm watching a Family Guy Special.

    The story is basically about Meg Griffin got struck by a meteorite and her body grew up to 100 feet. It's better than it sounds.

    The author has kept the spirit of the show with top notch characterization, mimicking the show's style, adding most of the show's famous gags, and it's perfect for Meg fans to enjoy.

    If you want to give yourselves some chuckles, this is for you.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3937534/1/Attack_of_the_100_Foot_Meg_Griffin

    • Ah yes... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-13 15:30:00 UTC Link to this

      ...I've read that fic, finding it quite enjoyable. And for someone whose incredibly disappointed with the way the show's been going lately, this is an acceptable subsitute.

  • RC number request by Miah on 2010-06-13 14:48:00 UTC Link to this

    I'd like to have agents David Kelok and Unger assigned to RC 1729. It is not listed as taken on the wiki, and it is a cool number, being the smallest number expressible as the sum of two positive cubes in two different ways.

    I think for now, at least, I am assigning them to the Department of Floaters.

    • We don't ask for RC numbers on the Board. by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-14 01:34:00 UTC Link to this

      They go to the RC List, which is here.

      http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/21812.html

      • What, we don't? by JulyFlame on 2010-06-14 05:31:00 UTC Link to this

        As I was aware, both is common courtesy, since some people on the board might have already called the RC number but haven't had it put on the RC List.

        • Ah, right. by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-14 15:36:00 UTC Link to this

          Sorry, I was told that we should always make requests to the LJ list. Apologies for my fail.

        • Happened to me. (nm) by Barid on 2010-06-14 06:08:00 UTC Link to this
          • I've already requested on the LJ post, but... by Pretzel on 2010-06-15 10:58:00 UTC Link to this

            May I officially claim RC 6237 for Agents Lee and Ian? Just wanted to cover all the bases, here.

      • Sometimes I think we should. by Sedri on 2010-06-14 02:00:00 UTC Link to this

        Basically every other request is made here on the Board. I see the logic of using the LJ RC list, but still...

        • I agree with that. by anamia on 2010-06-15 13:09:00 UTC Link to this

          I don't know how often the LJ list gets updated, but it seems like a good idea to post here as well, if only to let people know that an RC is reserved.

          --anamia

          • It usually gets updated on a monthly basis. by Araeph on 2010-06-17 10:05:00 UTC Link to this

            It's kind of a pain to update after every request, especially now that so many new people are coming in.

  • Does this count as badfic? by Candescence on 2010-06-13 17:06:00 UTC Link to this

    It's not a singular fic, but it's a weird and ghastly mixture of bad sprite comic and badfic (though the writing is worse than the sprite stuff), the worst of both worlds. It's called "Simon Quest Zero", there's supposed to be some kind of prequel to it in the author's gallery, but I don't want to trudge through all his stuff just to find it. I haven't finished with this 'fic', but what I've seen is enough to say it's bad, I think.

    Of course, it's good for a laugh anyway.

    http://belmondo4447.deviantart.com/gallery/#Simon-Quest-Zero

    In summary: An implausible crossover involving Castlevania and Mega Man, mainly, with characters from all over each series' respective timelines, but multiple other continuities appear from Pokemon to Zelda. The main focus of the plot involves one of the most crackiest crossover ships I have ever seen - Simon freakn' Belmont and Leviathan from Mega Man Zero. No, seriously. Plus, they have kids. Note that the female of the pairing is a Reploid, a very advanced robot, but a robot nontheless. Canon defilement up the wazoo, along with bad grammar and spelling and just bad writing overall. On the visual side, not much to charge for, aside from bad speech bubbles (even in MS Paint, one can easily do better). Oh, yeah, and particular part adds songfic to the list.

    tl;dr: Badly-done crossover pairing fic that's crackier than crack and combines bad sprite comics with normal badfic. I'll give a better impression when I finish looking at the whole thing.

    Also, Evil!Soma Cruz makes me grumble, but that's not really a charge.

    • Well, that's if crackfics get sporked. Do they? by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:38:00 UTC Link to this

      Do they?

      • Debatable. by Eclectus on 2010-06-15 00:54:00 UTC Link to this

        If they're meant to be crackfics, I wouldn't. If they seem to be serious and yet are so awful they've become crack (see the TVTrope, So Bad It's Good), then spork away, my friend. This fic-shaped-thing seems to be the latter.

        • Ahh... okay. And what do you think of crackfics? (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:57:00 UTC Link to this
    • Categories by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-14 09:12:00 UTC Link to this

      Oh, if comics count, there's a whole website I know of that does comic fanfic.

    • I would say yes. by Eclectus on 2010-06-13 17:34:00 UTC Link to this

      But then, I'm just a newbie. Someone with more experience should answer this... Just givin' my own two cents.

      • Re: I would say yes. by Barid on 2010-06-13 19:30:00 UTC Link to this

        I would agree with you. It is pretty bad...and I can't even figure out where the first comic is.

        Also, just because you are a newbie doesn't mean you can't recognize badfic when you see it. Don't sell yourself short. Newbie is a state of mind. The fastest way to stop being a newbie is to stop thinking of yourself as one.

        I'm off before I start getting even more philosophical.
        -Barid

        • He's right. by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:38:00 UTC Link to this

          Or I could just be saying that because I'm a technical newbie.

        • You have a point. (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-14 02:21:00 UTC Link to this
  • 5Ds Sue-Fic by Simon on 2010-06-13 20:01:00 UTC Link to this

    I don't know how popular 5Ds and shows and Children's Card Games in general are here, but I was browsing FF and found this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5192774/1/Yugioh_5Ds_Legacy_of_the_Star_Princess

    Everyone seems to be in character and it's not that badly written, so my only real complaint is the horrible things done to the (IMO) awesome background of the original series.

    I'm not that far through it, so more Sue-Signs may show up, but apart from the character's origin (fell from the stars and something about "purity"), she's not a Sue yet.
    I'm wondering if this is enough to qualify as an "Acceptable Target".
    I'm not that far through it, so more Sue-Signs may show up, but apart from the character's origin (fell from the stars and something about "purity"), she's not a Sue yet.

    • Bit of a problem by Barid on 2010-06-13 20:55:00 UTC Link to this

      If she's not a Sue yet, (which I'm not sure I believe, being that she fell from the stars) then it is not yet a Suefic. I would say that if everyone is in character and it is not badly written, then it isn't a target yet.

      In the PPC we don't worry about every badfic, or even every Suefic, because a lot of it could be made good by a simple beta. We only PPC the worst of the worst, not the kinda bad.

      Keep reading and if it gets worse, we can talk.

      Also, I'm not much a fan of 5D's but I was a fan of the original Yu-Gi-Oh! and I play the card game, so if you eventually write a mission in that universe, I can probably help with a beta.

      • Re: Bit of a problem by Simon on 2010-06-13 21:02:00 UTC Link to this

        Well, like I said, I'm still barely any distance into it (8/51), so it could get worse, but thanks for clearing that up for me :)

  • I'm back... by Elorie on 2010-06-14 19:18:00 UTC Link to this

    Whoo!! I'm back!
    After four months of no connection to the net... *weeps*
    Finally!
    Most have probably forgotten me... I turned up beginning of January, and lost all connection midst of February. *ahem*
    Reintroduction:
    Big fan of the PPC in general, the Original Series, DOGA and DTE in particular.
    I originate from Cologne, Germany, am a female univerity student, 18 year sold and love LotR; thus I came across fanfiction, found the German translation of OFUM, then read the English original, stumbled across a mention of the PPC and was immediately hooked.
    Haven't had time yet to catch up on everything that happened, but I am so glad to finally be back!
    *hugs everyone in reach*

    I think I'll throw a party to celebrate my reconnection to the awesomeness that is the PPC!
    *begins busying herself*

    • *glomps* by Gen on 2010-06-15 22:01:00 UTC Link to this

      Nice to see you back! I was wondering where you went a while ago... :D

      • *Glomps back* (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-15 22:33:00 UTC Link to this
    • Hi, welcome back! by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-15 20:08:00 UTC Link to this

      *grimace* I feel your pain with fluky computers. I'm lucky enough not to have had any issues that last THAT long, though... at least not ones that prevent me from doing anything.

      • Thanks. (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-15 20:21:00 UTC Link to this
    • That how computers work... by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-15 09:53:00 UTC Link to this

      Was a malfunctioning PC the matter with no connection?
      I know something about almost-dead computers... mine is one.

      And it got worse when I joined the PPC. PPC has a bad effect on tecnology. *stares at his computer in case it blows up*

      • Re: That how computers work... by Elorie on 2010-06-15 17:33:00 UTC Link to this

        Don't know. It just wouldn't work... My computer itself was fine, but the internet connection, no matter what way, LAN or wireless, refused to work. I had to do a complete reconfiguration, several times, to make it work along with changing my provider, to make it work at home. Still refuses to work in other networks or public access points.

    • Welcome back! by Silikat on 2010-06-15 07:34:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

      • Oh... by Elorie on 2010-06-15 17:30:00 UTC Link to this

        Nobody has ever given me a pet cat before... I do own a cheetah (thanks to wikimaster) and a bengal tiger (forgotten from whom), but a pet cat...
        THANKS!!
        So nice... *wipes a tear*
        And I name the cat... I know! Berúthiel, like the Queen of Gondor, wive of Falastur, who owned nine black and one white cat and was famous for them. Sounds fitting?

        • Indeed, a cat must have a proper name. by Silikat on 2010-06-15 21:15:00 UTC Link to this

          And that one definately seems fitting. *pets Berúthiel*

    • Salutations! by PoorCynic on 2010-06-15 04:24:00 UTC Link to this

      Please enjoy this ten-gallon hat as a welcoming back gift.

      Warning: hat may not actually hold ten gallons of liquid.

      • Thanks... ? by Elorie on 2010-06-15 06:48:00 UTC Link to this

        Ten-gallon hat? How much is that in litres? Around thirty?

        O.O

        Anyway... Thanks, and I will see if I have a shelf big enough for it. Or maybe I can use it to begin breeding ostrichs? It should have about the right size to capture one. Now all I need is a pole, and then I can go hunting...

    • Welcome back! by Sedri on 2010-06-15 02:53:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a pufferfish :)

      • Thank you! (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-15 06:45:00 UTC Link to this
    • Have a Cheetah! by WikiMaster on 2010-06-14 23:31:00 UTC Link to this

      Feed it only Generic Meat.

      • Thanks. by Elorie on 2010-06-15 06:43:00 UTC Link to this

        Where can I get generic meat?

        • Possibly the PPC General Store. by WikiMaster on 2010-06-15 23:45:00 UTC Link to this

          Or you can just grind up some beef.

          • Oh. alright. :) (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-16 06:20:00 UTC Link to this
    • Hello! by Pretzel on 2010-06-14 23:07:00 UTC Link to this

      I don't believe we've met. I'm Pretzel, and it's nice to meet you. Welcome back! I know how it is with idiotic computers and stuff- my power cord for my laptop managed to crap out on me for a good two months, so I was without my computer during the last bit of my previous quarter in college. Not fun.

      As for the party, my agents shall definitely be joining in, now that I've got Permission and stuff. They are Ian Nahinu and Lee Keaton. Feel free to do with them as you wish; Lee's a bit of a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, and anything with mint in it gets her even more tipsy/snuggle-prone (which is weird, 'cause she's normally not all that touchy-feely), as she's a feline-based shapeshifter and therefore affected by anything in the mint family, like catnip. (For further info, look either on the Wiki or here).

      My apologies for rambling; I do that quite a bit. Anyways, welcome back, and I can't wait to talk and interact with you further.

      ~Pretzel

      • Hi. by Elorie on 2010-06-15 06:42:00 UTC Link to this

        Nice to meet you.

    • Welcome back! by doctorlit on 2010-06-14 21:53:00 UTC Link to this

      Congratulations on your triumphant return to the internet!

      Have a Roto-Router! It's a thin metal wire you can feed through the tubes when the internets get clogged.

      "Roto-Router, that's the name
      when your web connection's acting lame
      Roto-router!"

    • Have some no-mai! by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:35:00 UTC Link to this

      Wait, did I spell that right? Anyways, it's really delicious, Chinese, and involves loads of sticky rice, Chinese sausagey-stuff, mushrooms, and a bunch of yummmies thrown together.

      Gosh, I hate it when my Internet has problems... but it's never been for FOUR MONTHS. Wow.

      • Thank you! (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-14 22:00:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome back! by Miah on 2010-06-14 21:03:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

      Please use them IRresponsibly!

      I must have just missed you from before as I joined about mid-February. Good to hear that your connection is better now.

      • Thanks. by Elorie on 2010-06-14 21:09:00 UTC Link to this

        A scarf... Seventeen feet? How long did you knit that thing?
        Thank you! I'll try it in winter!

        • No problem by Miah on 2010-06-14 23:09:00 UTC Link to this

          Agent!Miah knits them with strange amounts of speed.

          • ... by Elorie on 2010-06-16 06:21:00 UTC Link to this

            Ah, I see. Thanks again for that scarf. May I, once I have my own agents, pass this on?

    • Have a welcome-back plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-14 19:59:00 UTC Link to this
      • Thanks! (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-14 20:04:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome back. Here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-14 19:42:00 UTC Link to this

      My Agents are coming to the party. Expect hilarity to ensue.

      • Re: Welcome back. Here's a tall ship. by Elorie on 2010-06-14 20:03:00 UTC Link to this

        Thanks for the ship. The second you gave me!

        And about the party: Your agents are most welcome. I am not quite sure if, and if so, when I will write an account of the party, but your agents will certainly be mentioned if that happens.
        I will host the party in an as of yet unknown location (I am open for any suggenstions), and I will take care of all drinks, mainly beer and soda, but again, open to suggestions. The only thing I won't offer is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, as laws of physics state it cannot be mixed on Earth. If someone wants, I will also offer BBQ.

        • As the ships are sentient... by Khajidu on 2010-06-15 22:19:00 UTC Link to this

          ... they'll keep each other company.

          You can mention my Agents if needed, of course. They'll bring their own cocktail, which they named 'ZPM'. Don't ask why, but Krisprolls is said to abuse it, and that's what makes him so energetic. Truth is, he's naturally so. (Whatever says it's because he naturally produces the thing in his blood)

          (ZPMs are huge energy sources in Stargate Atlantis)

          • Re: As the ships are sentient... by Elorie on 2010-06-16 06:22:00 UTC Link to this

            Okay. The party'll take some time, as I don't have permission yet, but I'll find some time.

            • You may want to know... by Khajidu on 2010-06-17 16:42:00 UTC Link to this

              that Krisprolls turns 73 today. One more thing to party about.

              • Re: You may want to know... by Elorie on 2010-06-17 21:20:00 UTC Link to this

                Happy Birthday!

  • Hello World! by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-14 21:33:00 UTC Link to this

    All right, let's all say it together: "Hello Newbie!" *great, another one...*

    • Welcome! Have a pet zombie! by Firebird766 on 2010-06-16 03:44:00 UTC Link to this

      We've trained him not to eat people through judicious use of a cattle prod. Feed him brains if you can, but chicken will do in a pinch.

      • Question about my nice present will Mary Sue flesh hurt him? (nm by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:41:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome! by Elemarth on 2010-06-15 22:23:00 UTC Link to this

      Here is an "I am a Newbie" shirt. It looks dorky, but it's magically bulletproof.

      • I am a dork: bulletproof is good. Thanks. (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:42:00 UTC Link to this
    • Last I checked, we liked newbies... by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-15 19:57:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a Mary Poppins Carpetbag to carry it all. (And a plover to keep the one from Tawaki company.)

      • i love Mary Poppins! hey, did you know the books are good? by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:43:00 UTC Link to this

        They're a bit like Piggle-Wiggle

      • Ah, buggerit. (Millennium hand and shrimp.) by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-15 19:58:00 UTC Link to this

        De-italicizing now.

        • Didn't work. This, though? (nm) by Goldenrod111 on 2010-06-15 20:16:00 UTC Link to this
          • Ok, help! by Goldenrod111 on 2010-06-15 20:20:00 UTC Link to this

            The last post was sticking an </i> in front of my subject. Can someone who knows how to, fix this, or do we have to wait until it drops off the page? And let this be a lesson to everyone! Watch your closing tags!</i>

            • Never mind by Goldenrod111 on 2010-06-15 20:21:00 UTC Link to this

              There were two <i> tags, it seems. The second </i>-in-subject fixed it.

              • I'm really sorry about that. by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-16 19:58:00 UTC Link to this

                I remember typing the closing tag - either I didn't hit the / key or my computer decided to screw me over and ignore the keystroke (my keyboard gets sticky like that sometimes). Either way, my failure to notice, but I guess that accounted for the second [i].

                • It's all good. (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:44:00 UTC Link to this
                • That's fine by Goldenrod111 on 2010-06-16 20:57:00 UTC Link to this

                  It's an easy mistake, and anyone could have made it. That is, however, what the preview message button is for. ;)

    • Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-15 18:16:00 UTC Link to this

      Fair winds!

    • Helllooo Newbie! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-15 15:24:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay here!

    • *waves* by Simon on 2010-06-15 11:11:00 UTC Link to this

      Hi!
      Have some poorly described toys.
      And by "toys" I of course mean weapons.

    • Hello! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-15 09:42:00 UTC Link to this

      Wellcome to the PPC. Listen to me, they're all mad here... but they are good people, anyways.

      Ah, here's a gun. You will need it for that armor-piercing ammo.

      • *mad-scientist laughter* by Pretzel on 2010-06-15 10:56:00 UTC Link to this

        To borrow a line from the Rocky Horror Show:

        "If only we were among friends or... sane persons!"

        Good luck with that one, hun. ;)

    • Hello! by Silikat on 2010-06-15 07:33:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello Newbie! *great, another one to confuse!*
      Hee hee. Erm, here, have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

    • Greetings! by PoorCynic on 2010-06-15 04:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Please enjoy this box of armor-piercing ammunition as a welcoming gift.

    • Hello, Newbie! Welcome! Have a a flashlight and LINKS by Sedri on 2010-06-15 02:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Greetings!

      It seems I am the first Link-giver to turn up. Haha! ;p

      The Links, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

      * The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
      * The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

      The Board:
      * The Board Constitution
      * The FAQ: For the Board

      The Wiki:
      * We have our very own PPC Wiki
      * The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
      * Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
      * The Mission Writing Guide
      * The Slash-Sporking Guide
      * The FAQ: For Newbies.
      When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

      And finally, but very usefully,
      * The List of Everything PPC


      Again, welcome! Please, tell us about yourself. What fandoms do you read/write for, for instance?

    • Another newbie on another Board... by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-15 00:06:00 UTC Link to this

      ... can you tell someone let me see "Evita"? Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a pair of distressing gloves.

      • Distressing gloves... by Eclectus on 2010-06-15 01:01:00 UTC Link to this

        Are they distressing in appearance? Do they cause the wearer to be distressed? Do the gloves give the wearer the ability to distress others? DO they just generally radiate an aura of distressing-ness?

        I am curious.

        • YES. (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-16 00:57:00 UTC Link to this
    • Squawk! by Eclectus on 2010-06-14 23:30:00 UTC Link to this

      Squawk squawk EMPHATIC CHIRP screech squawk.

      -ahem-

      Hello, Newbie! Awww, ain't it cute. Here's a newbie present--a baby hawk, my distant distant DISTANT relative. Train it well, and it may help you kill Sues. Treat it badly, and it will eat your face, but that's what you get for dealing with predators.

    • Have a Lioness! by WikiMaster on 2010-06-14 23:30:00 UTC Link to this

      Feed it only Generic Meat.

    • Welcome by Miah on 2010-06-14 23:12:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

      Please use them IRresponsibly!

    • Hiya! by Pretzel on 2010-06-14 22:49:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the Board. I hereby give you the standard Frying Pan of DOOMTM, and Agent Lee sends her regards and a batch of freshly baked brownies. Ian, her partner, couldn't be reached at this time.

    • First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-14 22:38:00 UTC Link to this
    • Aww, a newbie! Hiii! :) by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-14 22:14:00 UTC Link to this

      Lovely to meet you. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

      What fandoms are you into?

      • Thanks for the Shiny. by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:38:00 UTC Link to this

        I like shinies; a bit like Nawat, which brings me to your question.

        I'll put together a nice list someday, but for now,
        LotR/Arda/Children of Húrin (average fan)
        Narnia (expert fan)
        Tamora Pierce (average)
        Jane Austen (average)
        Bourne Trilogy (it's a trilogy: don't even talk to me about Lustbader's pathetically tag-on novels)
        And a lot more...

    • Welcome! by Elorie on 2010-06-14 22:02:00 UTC Link to this

      Hiya! Thanks for the no-mei.
      Have a celebratory hug to welcome you, and I heard they have bumper stickers somewhere over there. *waves around*

      • Free bumper stickers... ooh. Thanks! (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:35:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome, new friend! by doctorlit on 2010-06-14 21:57:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the board! Someone will be along soon with a more in-depth, link-filled welcome soon. For now, have some unpublished novels, and a Roto-Router, since I just gave one to Elorie, down below.

      Also, what fandoms are you into?

      • Thanks! Sorry I (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:26:00 UTC Link to this
        • I MEANT by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 20:30:00 UTC Link to this

          Thanks, sorry I'm not always going to be around- but once every two weeks minimum minimum before I fall over and die.

          Hmm, what fandoms? lessee...
          Narnia (expert)
          Arda/LotR/Children of Húrin (average)
          Pride and Prejudice (advanced)
          Bourne trilogy (no Lustbader!) : /movie/book
          Lots more... James Patterson, and and and

          Meh, I'll think of more later.

          (haha I can't believe somebody actually posted something to me. Yay!)

  • General goodfic location and one badfic in particular by Miah on 2010-06-14 23:52:00 UTC Link to this

    I was cruising around looking for a Mary Sue to kill in my new fandom of Sherlock Holmes 2009. The vast majority of fics for the movie--even considering the open invitation to all slashers given in the movie there is an almost total absence of bad slash--and especially for the books are exceptionally well written. Even when they have strange premises that would normally be handled in the worst possible ways, it is hard to find any charges. So in general a source of goodfic would be the Sherlock Holmes sections of the pit.

    However, I found this story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4306702/1/World_Guardians_3_the_Inbetween

    I don't know quite what to make of it. The author took the time to write a summary pertaining to Sherlock Holmes, to list the characters involved as being from Sherlock Holmes, and then proceeded to post chapters with which I can discern no possible link to Sherlock Holmes.

    In fact, it seems very much like the story is based on some other fandom. Okay, so I finally realized that with a 3 in the title there must be more of these around. I checked the other stories with the same characters, and I found the annoying origin of the Sue here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2757381/1/world_Guardians_the_warrior

    It is a badly handled mangling of the Star Wars prequels era continuum that has now been shared over to Sherlock Holmes. For a multi-story Sue is it typical to go after each of their stories, or does once suffice to kill them entirely? I am kind of leaning toward, if I kill her in the Holmes story that she would still be messing up Star Wars, because of her other stories, but I am sure this has been dealt with before.

    The Holmes story is apparently not complete. The others are all much longer, and like I said there is no actual mention of anything at all relating to Holmes. Any advice for how to handle a story that never even gets around to mentioning the continuum in question?

    • badfic by Miah on 2010-06-16 18:18:00 UTC Link to this

      I posted the Holmes story under Claimed badfic on the wiki, and the Star Wars stories under Unclaimed badfic. I left a note with them that I will be happy to lend my agents to a joint killing of them all at once. I've never done a collaboration before, so if any of the people who have stated an interest in this has I will defer to your experience on how to handle it.

    • As for the third one... by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-15 20:05:00 UTC Link to this

      Maybe waiting would work? You wouldn't run into a lot of crimes against canon until the canon shows up. You can charge for not tagging a crossover, though. I should think.

      Also, I don't suppose you'd care to mention any specific Holmes 2009 fics for those of us too lazy-arsed to look on our own?

      • goodfic by Miah on 2010-06-16 18:14:00 UTC Link to this

        I am going to plug an author here. Westron Wynde: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1507793/

        I haven't read everything by this author yet. The stories tend to be at least novella length, so it takes a while, but everything I have read so far is above excellent.

        I have been particularly impressed with her series about a young Holmes' early career:
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4311633/1/The_Curious_Case_of_the_Prestidigitators_Python

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4477368/1/The_Mystery_of_the_Tankerville_Leopard

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4903645/1/The_Abominable_Affair_of_the_Charming_Chiromancer (I am still reading this one)

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5466355/1/The_Particular_Problem_of_Postern_Prison (My favorite. Yes, I read them out of order. This was the first Holmes fanfic I read. If this author ever published this, through self publishing or whatever, I would totally pay for a copy of it. Actually possible in the fandom, as it is based on a public domain work.)

        And by some others:
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5826683/1/The_Case_of_the_Baker_Street_Flat_Mate More a series of snippets than a single story

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5288863/1/The_Pugilist_the_Detective_and_the_Doctor A little sappy at the end, but still well written

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4997638/1/Mistake I like this author, too.

        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4830785/1/Watsons_Woes

        Okay, that is probably enough for one post.

        • Thank you so much! by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-16 20:02:00 UTC Link to this

          Also: Whoa. That's a lot .

          • You're welcome by Miah on 2010-06-17 06:51:00 UTC Link to this

            There is a surprising quantity of goodfic in the movie section and the book section. A lot of times I will see a summary that anywhere else on the pit is guaranteed to be a poorly written Sue with a terrible plot, and even if it turns out to not be an idea I care too much about, the writing is in actual English, the plot holds water--overall if not goodfic then at least non-PPCable fic.

            I don't really understand it. Sure, the characters involved are much smarter than average, but that hasn't stopped people from writing badly in Bones and House. The books are old enough to maybe earn a miss from a lot of fanbrats, but the movie had two very fine looking men, who gave off enough slashy vibes to set any fangirl to drooling, and even there the overall quality of the writing is high. Of course there are a few that are badly done, but the proportion is almost reversed from most fandoms.

            It really has gotten my curiosity up about how this fandom has managed to attract a more highly skilled group of writers.

    • A multi-part mission in different fandoms could be fun. by doctorlit on 2010-06-15 01:09:00 UTC Link to this

      It would be like your own prime time mini-series special.

      • Re: A multi-part mission in different fandoms could be fun. by Miah on 2010-06-15 01:14:00 UTC Link to this

        I would have to find some help for the Star Wars stuff. My geekery only extends to the original movies and select books that come after the original movies. This deals with the prequels. I haven't even seen the 3rd one yet. *Ducks in geek!shame*

        • Re: A multi-part mission in different fandoms could be fun. by Elorie on 2010-06-15 17:42:00 UTC Link to this

          I could help, as well. I have seen all movies, and I have read quite a few books.

        • Hey, you could claim Geek!Pride by Elcalion on 2010-06-15 02:02:00 UTC Link to this

          for not having seen the prequels and not diluting your appreciation of the Original Trilogy.

          I'd be happy to help out on a multi-agent, multi-fandom mission. ESAS has a couple of Star Wars agents who would love to set canon to rights.

          • Cool by Miah on 2010-06-15 02:18:00 UTC Link to this

            That would be good. Most of the offenses happen in the Star Wars verse. Even though the Holmes one was labeled as "3" it was either the 4th or 5th in the series.

            Would this be something to make one large mission to kill her several times within the same mission, or take each one separately?

            I was planning on sending my new agents, David Kelok and Unger on this mission. Being illiterate, Unger has developed a fondness for a certain 2009 movie.

        • Aw, the third prequel was the good one! by doctorlit on 2010-06-15 01:57:00 UTC Link to this

          Well, if it's just the prequels you're unfamiliar with, I might be able to help. I've seen them multiple times, although I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars.

          • You have my Blaster... by Simon on 2010-06-15 11:21:00 UTC Link to this

            I don't mind helping either. In particular for Ep I. I didn't see the others.
            And could we add "Not using the Original Trilogy" to the list of subjective charges?

          • I liked all three. by WikiMaster on 2010-06-15 03:01:00 UTC Link to this

            But the third one was the best.

            • Right. When I said good one, I meant best one. (nm) by doctorlit on 2010-06-15 04:02:00 UTC Link to this
    • As to multiple stories by Eclectus on 2010-06-15 01:00:00 UTC Link to this

      I believe there's a way to kill a 'Sue with Suequels (sorry, couldn't resist the pun) once and have her be dead for good. I don't know much about Sherlock Holmes, though--I read Hound of the Baskervilles and I know he's got an arch-nemesis named Moriarty--so I can't help you there.

  • OT: Plug! by Vixenmage on 2010-06-15 04:36:00 UTC Link to this

    This is a strange little short story I wrote a while back for a friend. I was kinda shy about it, and then my English teacher told me it was good and I kind of squealed for a solid minute and figured maybe I'd post it somewhere, a community of writers or something, if I could find such a community on this internet... it seemed unlikely. But here we are!

    Deep Fried Grapes In Kansas

    “We could play a game!”

    My head was resting against the cool glass of the passenger-side window. I glared into my own reflection, too tired to turn and glare at Brian. It was pointless to answer, anyway. He already knew the answer.

    “But I want to entertain you. You look so bored and lifeless.” I could almost hear the wistful sigh behind his voice. “You were so cheerful and bright before!”

    “I was cheerful and bright back there because it was my own life, Brian. This place is flat, and gray, and just… this.” I gestured out the window with a limp hand, and did turn to glare at him this time. “I hate it, I hate being here, and I hate this.”

    He made a humming noise under his breath and sort of shrugged a little, his voice briefly – very briefly – devoid of its customary too-cheerful energy. “You’ll get used to it though. I swear you will.”

    I snorted. There wasn’t an answer to that. The hours stretched on before us, bleak and lifeless as the endlessly sepia-toned miles we traveled together, and as devoid of promise.

    “Look at that!”

    I’d seen it about ten minutes prior, or the signs for it – the only signs of life or color we’d seen for a good three days, you’d better believe I was interested, even if it had only been for a moment, even if it was only a county fair, the kind of which you really have seen one, and seen them all. The only weird thing on passing the sign had been that Brian had withheld comment – a situation which he apparently had decided to remedy. Great.

    “Oh, great. A way to make the trip even longer.”

    He gave me one of those dazzling, bright, sugary, creepy smiles. “Savoring every second!” I ignored him. “Come on though! It’ll be really fun!”

    “I honestly don’t care, Brian. Like I said, it’s just another way of dragging this thing out.” He was like a little kid – he liked it, and he did not honestly understand why I didn’t. Free will, choice, freedom of exit or movement or what have you – they meant nothing to him, as far as I could tell. Just words.

    As the multi-colored tents grew larger and larger in the distance, I was filled with a sense of foreboding – I didn’t want to get out. Brian changed the atmosphere around him – others seemed to relax, to be more cheerful, or at least more energetic. I… I felt the atmosphere change, but to me it only felt more oppressive. I wondered about him, sometimes, if he took me along because of that. Mostly, though, I just wished he hadn’t.

    Unfortunately, he pulled into the gravel parking lot, and gave me another dazzling smile as he leapt out of the car. I followed him, reluctantly, like a woodchip pulled into the wake of a ferry, and we swept into the fairgrounds in the bustling crowd. It looked like things had just opened up – the ground was still clean, and the food and fun stands were mostly empty. The crowd spread out before us, and Brian immediately headed for one of the stands, grinning like a child. I followed him, more like the tortured parent in the equation.

    “You, sir, look like a man who enjoys a good game of skill!”
    The man stood there, tossing an oddly shaped ball from one hand to the other, an almost predatory glint in his eyes which seemed out of place in his round face, which appeared to be, otherwise, the very embodiment of good cheer.

    Brian gave me one of his very cheeriest grins. I stared back at him. Undeterred, he fairly bounced over to the game, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll win you an animal! That’ll cheer you up!”

    “Ah, to win an animal for the lovely lady, sir, you must win only three games – surely a simple feat for one so clearly accustomed to the masculine arts as yourself!”

    Have you ever choked on air? It’s like choking on water, but when life throws something so unbelievably insane at you that you choke on the very substance which you are accustomed to breathing, because reality demands that you choke in disbelief, almost as if reality was a narrative of some sort. I mean, 'masculine arts'? What was he going to do, wank towards a target, or just look big and strong and manly, maybe flex a couple times, or just kill something with a caveman stick... I don't know, something about the very phrase 'masculine arts' conjures a pretty skeevy image. Maybe it's just me.

    But the man only handed him one of the balls, which were a dark sort of coppery color. Brian gave him another cheery smile, which he returned-- or reflected, more like. A thin, faded image of the real thing, but just as nauseating. Maybe more so, actually. I watched as he pointed to the hoops which needed to be targeted, and the pyramids knocked down, and so on, and so forth. I concluded that 'masculine arts' was just one of those things people say to patronize the girlfr-- the companion. Companion. Not girlfriend, not significant other, not even friend.

    Companion was bad enough. In its own right, it held just as many irritating connotations as masculine, or even girlfriend, but it was truer than anything else. I don't know. Maybe prisoner? Unwilling companion-- no, that just sounded wrong.

    "Look! I almost won!" He seemed so... enthusiastic. I fought back the smile and gave him a dirty look. "One more try, and I'll get it! Which animal do you want?"

    The man, no longer oozing greasy charm, grinned at me as well, fully caught up. He handed Brian another ball from the crate. "On the house, my good man, on the house! An animal for the lovely lady!"

    I shook my head at the pair of them, and the teenage kid who'd wandered up behind him, androgynous, face three-quarters of the way hidden behind a curtain of hair that held a wave, despite the gallon and a half of gel attempting to hold it straight. He watched for a second, visibly tensing as Brian wound up for the throw. I kicked at the dust, noting the weird spirals it formed into, three-dimensional, like smoke, or a drop of ink in water... Sand in air, ink in water, cloud in empty space?

    "Name it, name it!"

    The three of them were all laughing now, like old friends. Brian tossed the ball back to the showman, an easy underhand throw, and the teenage kid clapped him on the back and wandered off into the crowd again. I'd caught a glimpse. A girl, under the frayed, loose clothing and sexless piercings. Huh.

    I looked at the little plushie zebra. It didn't seem to be smiling. In fact, it looked more or less like a regular zebra, a horse with stripes, complete with the intelligent, intense sort of face. Strangely enough, I liked it. I didn't want to name it and push it into this stupid scene. I shrugged.

    "I don't know." He looked down for a second. "Thanks, though."

    It's funny, from the sudden sparkle on his face, you'd think he actually cared whether or not I liked it. Didn't he enjoy the game? The attention? The cameraderie? Maybe it wasn't cameraderie. Maybe they were just players in his game, maybe they were just fellow actors in the scene, almost captives, and it didn't count. Maybe I did feel bad for him. The ...ing psychopath.

    "Anyway, what do you want to eat? I'm getting hungry, well, not really, but you probably are, and I feel like we should probably eat something while we're here, because the granola gets really old, or just boring, because it's like, even though it's nourishing and technically it won't go stale in the sealed packaging and it hasn't been that long anyway, I still get tired of the same texture over and over, and the taste isn't that great. So while we're out of the car, I kind of want something to eat that's not granola. Not that the granola's bad."

    Really, you'd think my mother had made the granola or something. Had she? I'd remember that, though, and besides, her granola was way better than the stuff we'd brought. It had raisins and pineapple, not these dates. Dates were good, the first one and second one, but more than two in a handful, every handful, and they just got to be too sweet. It left a bad taste on your mouth. He was looking at me somewhat expectantly, his eyes like a puppy's.

    "Alright, Brian. We'll go get something to eat. Where's the foodcourt?"

    He gestured, and set off with that same spring in his step. I followed him as he exchanged cheerful greetings with every damn person we passed, even in the crowds, and managed to nod to most of them without actually saying anything. Their eyes don't glide over me like they did when we started this stupid trip. ...When -he- started this trip. Not we. He. I didn't have a choice. I didn't start anything, just got sucked along. I hate how memory distorts things.

    "It all looks so good!"

    I looked at the big chalkboard. Corn dogs, popcorn (extra butter), fried dough, fried batter, fried doughnuts, batter-dipped cracklings (wait, what?), pork rinds, bacon-onion-battered-mushroom-nacho-ham-double-cheeseburger... I stopped reading about a quarter of the way down and stared at him. He was already exchanging blond jokes with the couple in front of us. I briefly wished I was blond so I could feel offended.

    "Do they have anything even remotely not poisonous?"

    He guffawed, as though I'd made some hilarious joke, and pointed to the bottom of the menu. "Look! They have fruit salad and stuff!"

    The couple stepped away, with a cheery wave, and the clerk looked us both over, somehow seemed to do a mental double-take without actually registering it in her conscious. "What can I get you folks today?"

    Brian began chattering, of course, listing three or four things he wanted. I looked over the "fruit salads," which, I saw from the counter, were mostly whipped cream with a handful of sugar-dipped berries thrown in. Eventually, the clerk finished talking to my benevolent dictator slash companion slash kidnapper and turned to me, a wide smile on her face.

    "I, um. This. Uh, Brian, this stuff all looks disgusting. No offense. Pick something off the fruit menu, I don't want to think about it anymore."

    He gave me a slightly concerned glance, which would normally have been rather disconcerting, but for some reason, it just made me tired. Pointing to an item on the menu, he handed the clerk some money, and we stepped to the end of the counter.

    "Are you alright? You're... you're not acting right."

    I stifled the strange impulse to laugh and shook my head. "I'm fine, Brian. Really." I looked down at the zebra, which contemplated me with its preternaturally (for a stuffed animal) intelligent expression, and winked at it. It did not wink back, which seemed to me impolite. I grinned. Brian, just out of the corner of my eye, looked alarmed.

    "Here's your meal! Enjoy the rest of your stay, folks!"
    He took the tray, looking at me instead of the clerk, strangely enough. "You're not fine, though! You're not being sarcastic, or snide, or anything!" He sounded like a panicked little kid. I grinned. I don't know why.

    "Ah, Brian. I'm fine. It's a nice enough day. Let's go eat, eh?"

    "I, I... okay. Okay, let's eat." His voice lacked the cheerful, over-confident, nearly strangling enthusiasm it usually possessed.

    We wandered off to the picnic area, a stretch of lawn, fairly lush, under several decently sized trees, and found a little wicker table. I looked down at the dish he'd picked out, and began to laugh.

    Ah, life.

    • With my brain functioning slightly better... by Eclectus on 2010-06-16 15:57:00 UTC Link to this

      It's good. It's very good. Someone already linked you to FictionPress, or I would have done it for you...

      I don't quite understand why Brian seems to have this infective cheerful possession effect on random characters... Or the description of "endlessly sepia-toned miles". It sounds rather like they're in some kind of barren alternate dimension.

      Don't mind my brain, it's on fantasy setting. But that's what it sounds like... The title only makes it slightly clearer. You might want to explain in-story that they are, in fact, in Kansas, along with why they're in Kansas in the first place. I, for one, am confused.

      • Thanks. by Vixenmage on 2010-06-16 20:34:00 UTC Link to this

        Have you ever read Neil Gaiman's Sandman series? There's a conversation in one of them about secrets and mysteries-- between Cain, the keeper of secrets, and Abel, the keeper of mysteries. I lent the book out (it's the one before The Kindly Ones, right?), so I can't quote directly, but the point is something to the effect of "Giving away a mystery spoils it. People don't want answers, they want to wonder."

        That's kind of what I was going for with this. I didn't explicitly state that they weren't in Kansas because the specific location of Kansas isn't really the point-- the point is, as you noticed, the barren sepia-toned... theme.

        Anyway, the reason why I didn't go into detail about the hows and the whys of Brian's character is because I've been trying for more subtlety in writing; it seems like the better stories, in my experience, are the ones where the writer lets you ask, lets you wonder, gives you room to draw conclusions. That's kind of what I was going for-- it's not really a fantasy story, more of... surrealism, I guess.

    • I don't know what to say. by Eclectus on 2010-06-16 01:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Really, I don't. I didn't understand a lot of it...

      It sounded like it had potential as a sort of fantasy/sci-fi/horror-maybe-sort-of-shaped-novel thing. Don't mind me, my brain just works like that. Um.

      It was good. You're a good writer. My brain just isn't really firing on all cylinders. I've spent at least four hours today zoning out reading Penny Arcade... It's not good for the mental functions.

      I meant to play some Go later today, but I'm afraid of the travesties I'd commit with my brain functioning at this level. Dango? Sure, I'll play a dango! Ergh... I'll shut up now.

    • That was very good :) by Sedri on 2010-06-15 23:56:00 UTC Link to this

      I really felt along with the characters - both of them, in their own way - and it's just... really good. Your teacher was right. Congratsi :D

      • Thanks! (nm) by Vixenmage on 2010-06-16 05:43:00 UTC Link to this
    • A community of writers? by Elemarth on 2010-06-15 22:29:00 UTC Link to this

      Unlikely? Are you kidding?
      Try http://www.fictionpress.com/
      But thanks for sharing it with us, too!

      • Well... yes. by Vixenmage on 2010-06-16 04:18:00 UTC Link to this

        Or being facetious. There's no -end- of online communities of writers, this is just my favorite (or so). (Though I dunno that I'd trust fictionpress-- it's too much like The Pit, and I have an unnatural fear of voles.)

        And thank you!

    • batter-dipped cracklings by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-15 22:22:00 UTC Link to this

      It's a telling sign of a story's quality when you get to the end of the story and say 'what, that's it?' and then in hindsight realize how perfect an ending it was.

      It's brilliant and evil how it makes you want to learn more about this girl, why she's with this guy despite how much she seems to dislike him. Is this dislike new? Caused by some recent development that's altered her perception of him? Perhaps she hangs out with him for superficial reasons? Perhaps she stays with him despite her dislike because she dislikes herself and wants to punish herself - or because she thinks he'd be able to help her get over what may be a crippling depression.

      I'll have to read it again when I have time.

      • Thanks! by Vixenmage on 2010-06-16 05:43:00 UTC Link to this

        One of the main reasons to write is to get people to ask questions; I'm glad this did!

        And thank you very much-- I'm glad it worked for you.

    • That... by Elorie on 2010-06-15 18:01:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm not quite sure what to say (write, actually) to this.
      All I could come up with sounds inadequate in my ears.
      ...

      So, let's just go with following: Absolutely stunning, and beautiful. It makes me think. I am not quite sure about what, but it's something that could be straight out of anyone's live, and the way you wrote this piece... I am in awe.

      A heartfelt "Thank you." for sharing this with us.

      • Thank you! by Vixenmage on 2010-06-16 04:20:00 UTC Link to this

        I don't know what to say in return, besides that from here on out, I will be easy to recognize at Meets, because my face is permanently stuck on blush. *grin*

        Thank you, Elorie.

        • You're welcome. (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-16 06:23:00 UTC Link to this
  • Mission Up! by PoorCynic on 2010-06-15 16:51:00 UTC Link to this

    Another Danny and Laura mission in the Left 4 Dead continuum. The assassins must deal with a Full Life Consequences-type 'parody,' which pits them against a rather bizarre Stu.

    http://vgdivision.livejournal.com/1505.html

    • You have to admit... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-16 13:46:00 UTC Link to this

      ...the thought of a zombie-killing sandwich is pretty funny.

      The fic's still crap, though.

    • Good work! by Simon on 2010-06-16 09:46:00 UTC Link to this

      And well done for reading that. God knows I couldn't have.

    • Win. by Eclectus on 2010-06-16 03:03:00 UTC Link to this

      I like. xD Especially since I looked the original up, and was able to laugh twice: once at the sheer unadulterated fail, and a second time at your mocking of the sheer unadulterated fail.

      Sammich... I wouldn't mind eating that Stu. If you don't want 'im, I'll take him... Sammiches are good.

      I appreciate your OVER 9000! reference.

    • Re: Mission Up! by doctorlit on 2010-06-15 21:18:00 UTC Link to this

      I actually like the original squirrelking trollfics, but this one sounds like a badly done attempt at mimicking them. The sentient sandwich thing was a funny touch.

      There are a few mistakes I want to point out in the opening scene:

      "'every game every made'" should be "every game ever made"
      "then you this was coming" should be "then you knew this was coming"
      "said nothing as halfheartedly" should be "said nothing as he halfheartedly"

      Also, since Danny wouldn't finish it, I will:
      IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!

      • How did I miss those?! by Candescence on 2010-06-16 11:24:00 UTC Link to this

        I was the beta reader, I can't believe I didn't pick up on those. Gah. Fail betareader is fail.

        • It happens by PoorCynic on 2010-06-16 15:54:00 UTC Link to this

          I could read it a thousand times, you could read it a thousand times, but the moment it gets put on the Internet someone will find an error we both missed. C'est la vie.

    • Oh... oh my by anamia on 2010-06-15 21:15:00 UTC Link to this

      Tell Danny that he has my deepest sympathy. That was awful. Though, I suppose the idea of a giant sandwich is mildly amusing. It reminds me of that one guy from the show Word Girl.

      Anyway, good job killing the thing. Hope next time the mission makes Laura go berserk. Danny's been feeling the brunt of the badfic horror, or so it seems.

      --anamia

  • Kiww the wabbit!Sue/Kiww the wabbit!Sue/Kiww the wabbit!Sue/ by Tawaki on 2010-06-15 20:11:00 UTC Link to this

    Rosebel and Her Life Before by ink-splotter08 reviews
    Before Rosebel had Fiver... she had control of her life. She was lonely but her life was predictable; until she met a rabbit who spun her life back together- and his name was Hahira...
    Watership Down - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1-3-09 - Complete

    My comment: What is Vilthuril? Sliced dandelion greens?

    • That summary doesn't even make sense. by Eclectus on 2010-06-16 16:36:00 UTC Link to this

      If her life was "lonely but predictable," I would call that together. Maybe not a good kind of together, but certainly together. If you want a crappy romance-novel cliché, it should be "...showed her how to live" or something.

      But then again, it's a Suefic. They're not supposed to make sense.

    • I would, but.. by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 01:10:00 UTC Link to this

      I haven't read Watership Down in years. Hmm. I should probably go and reread it, just 'cause.

  • Badfic Ahoy! by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 01:33:00 UTC Link to this

    Reporting a Criminal Minds badfic:

    The Princess and The Geek » by reidluver228 reviews
    There's a small country off the coast of Italy who's Allies with the United States. But when their under attack, The BAU has to take care of one of the Princesses.
    Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,988 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-15-10 - Published: 1-5-10 - S. Reid

    The writings nigh on incomprehensible, and has Spencer babysitting a princess. Make sure to take lots of Bleep products with you; this one's a doozy. It includes bad grammar, random words in what the author says are French or Italian, though I vote for Simlish (the gibberish spoken in the video game series of The Sims), as it's about as comprhensible. Heck, the whole 'fic reads like it's in Simlish. Kill the 'Sue soon, before she corrupts fandom any more!

    • Here's the link to it by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 01:33:00 UTC Link to this

      badfic

  • A new movie is out. by Honu_Wahine on 2010-06-16 03:06:00 UTC Link to this

    That's right folks, the A-Team is back, and they are just as funny. This time around, there aren't so many badfics just yet (last check, just one, by a damn good author named MizHowlinMad over on the pit).
    Here's hoping that nothing bad happens to the new fandom (and hopefully everyone else on the planet's read the bad reviews...)
    Any roads...

    Thoughts on the movie, anyone? Bad, horrible, horrendously funny and better than expected? I give it three and a half stars out of four (it was just as good as the Marine Corps Times said!).

    -Honu_Wahine *goes back to watching A-Team tv-show*

    • The movie's awesome. by Sneezier on 2010-06-16 17:59:00 UTC Link to this

      Even if I didn't see the original series, this movie rocks!

    • Well... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-16 13:42:00 UTC Link to this

      I want to see the A-Team movie, since I'm starting to get into the TV show.



      ...And since it was previously brought up, I //liked// the Wanted movie. But hey, that's just me.

      • Reasons for hating Wanted by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-16 18:05:00 UTC Link to this

        Most people that dislike Wanted are those that read the comic first and had too high expectations for the movie, or those that think it's too action pulp.

        I haven't seen it yet (it's on my netflix queue) so I'll let you know where I stand after I do :P

        • I liked Wanted. by WikiMaster on 2010-06-17 00:17:00 UTC Link to this

          But I didn't read the comic (it wasn't available on my bookstore). That said, I can also see why others woudn't like it.

          • Ah... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-17 13:03:00 UTC Link to this

            Maybe that's it, since I didn't read the comic and all, but I hear it's a good comic so I'll have to check it out.

    • Seen the movie too by IndeMaat on 2010-06-16 08:09:00 UTC Link to this

      I wouldn't go as far as to call it a new fandom. The story of the film fits marvelously well with the 80s TV show. A lot of the TV show fans will go and see it (and A-Team seems to be on a continuous rerun loop). Although, wow, FFnet already has a movie category for it.

      It always takes a little while for fic to pick up. Film's only been out since the 11th (10th in the Netherlands), and won't be out until late July in Britain. Quite a few of the fic writers I know are from Britain.

      I liked the film. After Wanted I was a little worried that the same authors would be writing the A-Team film, but I'm pleased with what they came up with. It's a good genesis story for the A-Team (it basically tells the story of the Team before the start of the TV show, and solved that long mystery of why BA is wearing airborne insignia if he hates flying) and captures the humour of the show excellently.

      For some reason I don't think much bad will happen to the fandom. But I am feeling rather protective of the new canon, and I'll keep my eye on the new category (and the old one and the archive) so badfic can be dealt with quickly.

      • Yeah. It's cool. by Honu_Wahine on 2010-06-16 12:03:00 UTC Link to this

        You watched Wanted too? Oh my god. I am so sorry. The comic book was much better. After ten minutes of watching the movie, I wanted to kill the writers...
        Yeah, the one fic that I saw last night was actually really good. Short, but sweet and to the point (gummy worms, seriously? Never mind, just read the story.)
        Oh, just you wait, Inde. There will be scores upon scores of Face Murdock slash. Any new fanbrats who watch this will pick up on at least half of the slashy "clues" that I found. Hmmmm... *rubs chin and then smirks like Jim Carrey* I can't wait until they try that.

        Anyways, I think this set of writers did pretty well at their job (and hey, the show isn't as campy as I thought it would be!), and I am suitably impressed with the reimaginings of the characters, especially Murdock.
        And Blackforest? Bwahahahah! That is so funny--Black Water; I wonder when they'll start protesting the movie... Yeah, the Marine Corps and the Army in our 'verse hate those guys too. Black Forest? Bwahahahaha!

        -Honu_Wahine

        • I didn't want to kill anyone by IndeMaat on 2010-06-16 17:24:00 UTC Link to this

          but I got told off for hackling.

          I didn't really see the Face Murdock slash in the film. BA Murdock, sure. But I'm not a slasher myself, so I probably don't see what is there. (For a listing of all the slashy moments between Face and Murdock from the TV show, see this fanvid)

          • Having just watched the movie a second time: by Honu_Wahine on 2010-06-18 21:57:00 UTC Link to this

            I have to concede defeat. My sister took me to see the movie today (yes, after almost two weeks, I'm over my jet lag enough to go to a movie twice), and kept pointing out the slash between BA and Murdock (okay, and I noticed a bit more of it myself. Especially the hospital scene at the beginning lol).

            Still nothing new on the main section in the pit, but there's a crossover that has me scratching my head. I can't figure out what it is the author's trying to cross the movie with.

            I call hack and incompetence.

            -Honu_Wahine

  • Mission Plug by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 09:05:00 UTC Link to this

    http://rc-6237.livejournal.com/1503.html

    In which Ian and Lee go on their first mission, and an Author Wraith is exorcised from the NCIS fandom. Created during this mission was one mini-Abby called Abbey; it's first come, first serve as to who gets her. Comment either her or on the LJ to claim her.

    • Good job! by Miah on 2010-06-17 00:55:00 UTC Link to this

      It is so nice to have another set of agents taking NCIS. I loved the solid clunk to the head of the misty wraith. And the things that were taken literally, like the riggers.

      • Re: Good job! by Pretzel on 2010-06-17 01:38:00 UTC Link to this

        Thanks!

    • Nice job! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-16 10:58:00 UTC Link to this

      A woobie Tony would cause the end of the canon. Good thing your gents put it right.

      Also, I like very much the "Frying pan of doom" execution of the Author-Wraith.

      • Thanks! by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 11:06:00 UTC Link to this

        I was a bit nervous about how it would turn out. I'm glad you liked it. ^^

  • Newbie here... by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 18:07:00 UTC Link to this

    ...and I must say I've fallen in love with what little I've read of the PPC. Found you guys last night on TV Tropes, and after persusing the Wiki a little and reading one of Kana and Cerrin's missions, I decided whole-heartedly upon throwing my lot in.

    But first, as per the permission guidelines, I shall lurk here for a while. So hi thar.

    • YO! by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-18 01:51:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the Board! Please dposit your sanity in the provide d receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "WArg Fodder*" You shan't need it here.
      Please also fix all of the Maudlin's typos.

    • Hello there! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-17 12:43:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

      • Re: Hello there! by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 12:58:00 UTC Link to this

        Ooh, chocolate. Want. *Omnomnom*

    • Hiya! by Silikat on 2010-06-17 07:37:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

    • Why hello. by Eclectus on 2010-06-17 04:42:00 UTC Link to this

      Have an eyass (that's a baby hawk). Treat her well, feed her on Generic Meat and mice. And Sues. She will help you kill them if she likes you. If she does not like you, she will eat your face, but that's what you get for dealing with predators.

      • Re: Why hello. by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 13:11:00 UTC Link to this

        Hmm... Surely it can't be any more dangerous than the other questionable pets I've been given. Certainly seems like it'll be the most useful.

    • Welcome by Miah on 2010-06-17 01:42:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

      Please use them IRresponsibly!

    • Hi thar, new friend! by doctorlit on 2010-06-17 01:32:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the PPC, and to the Board!

      Help yourself to a venomous arthropod! You may...not...need gloves to handle it...

    • Newbie too by Elemarth on 2010-06-17 00:39:00 UTC Link to this

      Or not so much, considering how many people I've greeted by now. I'm also waiting for the first month to be up and Real Life to become a bit more sane. Which won't happen in a month, but I'll decide how insane it is when the time comes.

      Hey, I also found them on TV tropes! And I'm a Star Wars fan. At least, that's what I'm going to PPC. If your agents do it too, we could have them run into each other sometimes.

      So have a - I almost gave you a flamethrower, but those don't seem well-received here. Have a lighter so when you meet something bad, you can Kill It With Fire. And some chocolate, because Everything's Better With Chocolate.

      • Re: Newbie too by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 00:50:00 UTC Link to this

        *Slips the lighter into a pocket* I just know I'll need that at some point - ooh, a potential collaborator already? Well, I'll certainly keep you in mind if I stumble across any SW badfic which is so unforgiveably bad that two Agents just aren't enough... But by the Grey Lady and her Holy Hat, let's pray that never happens. <_>

        • Re: Newbie too by Elemarth on 2010-06-17 14:12:00 UTC Link to this

          Well, I'm going to be in Improbable AU, so if you're in, say, Mary Sues, an AU badfic with a Mary Sue in it would be better done by collaboration.

      • Re: Newbie too by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 00:50:00 UTC Link to this

        *Slips the lighter into a pocket* I just know I'll need that at some point - ooh, a potential collaborator already? Well, I'll certainly keep you in mind if I stumble across any SW badfic which is so unforgiveably bad that two Agents just aren't enough... But by the Grey Lady and her Holy Hat, let's prey that never happens. <_>

        • Re: Newbie too by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 00:51:00 UTC Link to this

          ...Why did I have to notice that typo after I'd posted this? -_-'

    • Have a Bengal Tiger! by WikiMaster on 2010-06-17 00:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Feed it only Generic Meat.

      • Re: Have a Bengal Tiger! by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 00:43:00 UTC Link to this

        Generic Meat, eh? Should be plenty of that around Azeroth if I ever take on a WoW mission. I never used the lootable meats anyway...

    • Welcome Aboard! by Pretzel on 2010-06-16 23:42:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello! I hereby give you the standard Frying Pan of DOOMTM, and Agent Lee sends her regards and a batch of freshly baked cookies. Ian, her partner, has sent along a small cross-stitched replica of the DMS flashpatch and his warmest welcomes.

      • Re: Welcome Aboard! by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 00:01:00 UTC Link to this

        *Noms a cookie* I remember reading a passing mention of the FPD execution. I need to track it down some time...

        • Re: Welcome Aboard! by Pretzel on 2010-06-17 00:03:00 UTC Link to this

          It's here, if you'd like to take a look. ^^

    • Welcome! Have a flashlight! by Sedri on 2010-06-16 23:30:00 UTC Link to this

      It's a SPECIAL flashlight. Not sure why, but it says so. Trust the talking flashlight ;p

      Nice to meet you. :)

      • Re: Welcome! Have a flashlight! by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 23:35:00 UTC Link to this

        Well, so long as it isn't speshul. Then I'd have to smash it in some unnecessarily complex and convoluted manner for the sake of putting it to an interesting end.

        ...Fortunately, that isn't the case, so thanks very much. Might prove useful once I actually get around to writing my first mission. I've got a whole month, at the least, to decide on my chosen fandom.

        • Oh, you don't have to stick to one fandom. by Sedri on 2010-06-17 03:14:00 UTC Link to this

          Perish the thought! Beside transfer options (as Jay and Acacia do in the original series), there's an entire Freelance Division of the Mary-Sue Department in which agents like mine take on 'Sues from all sorts of fandoms. There's also the Department of Floaters, which take many different mission types. You're not restricted to one fandom. :)

    • Welcome! by Elorie on 2010-06-16 22:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Hi.
      Have a welcome hug. And the bumper stickers are somewhere back there.
      On another note, I would suggest reading the Original Series at misssandman.com. It explains a lot. And it's good. And funny.
      Anyway... A warm welcome to you.

      • Re: Welcome! by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 23:31:00 UTC Link to this

        Funny it certainly is. I've just gotten into Chapter 7, but I must admit the repetition of Rivendell is starting to grate on me a little...

    • Re: Newbie here... by Simon on 2010-06-16 21:39:00 UTC Link to this

      This sounds remarkably similar to my origin here. :)
      And your name is one of the most awesome two word phrases I've read for a long while.

      • Re: Newbie here... by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 21:48:00 UTC Link to this

        What can I say? Latin rawks. Thanks very much :)

    • Welcome! Have the entire set of Touhou games! by Firebird766 on 2010-06-16 20:48:00 UTC Link to this

      Guaranteed to have you alternately pulling your hair out in frustration and cooing at all the pretty bullets! Make sure all possible distractions are gone before you play, as nothing is more frustrating than losing a boss fight because the doorbell rang.

    • Whoa, is it my turn with the Big Bag O' Links? by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-16 20:16:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm sure someone else will do a better job with the Useful Links, but I'll do my best. Huhm, you have the Wiki already, I guess the next important link would be The Original Series, so here you are:
      http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/story.html

      I'll assume you obeyed orders to read the Board Constitution.

      http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Killed_Badfic
      That is the Killed Badfic; it's also a pretty good list of all major missions. If you run into some Agents you particularly like, you can just hunt through their pages for missions.

      The FAQs you are most likely to need:
      http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:_The_Board
      http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:_For_Newbies

      And the overall guide to the PPC:
      http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Guide_to_the_PPC

      You've probably found most of those, if you've been poking around the wiki, but I figured I'd drop them off anyway just in case you hadn't.

      Oh! And my gift to you: One steamer trunk with infinite capacity (trust me, you are going to need it) and a plover, to be friends with the one Tawaki gave you. (Because plovers get lonely too.)

      • Re: Whoa, is it my turn with the Big Bag O' Links? by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 21:14:00 UTC Link to this

        Oh my, so much useful reading material. Thanks very much. :)

        • You're very welcome. Just doing what was done for me. (nm) by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-17 16:58:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-16 19:59:00 UTC Link to this

      Fair winds!

      What are your fandoms?

      • Re: Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 20:10:00 UTC Link to this

        With a bottle of rum and a yo-ho-ho :D

        Fandoms? I can give you my big three: Bleach, Star Wars and Devil May Cry. Beyond that, there's so many video games I can't be bothered listing them.

    • Hello! by MAXinsanity on 2010-06-16 19:54:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, take this bomb, it's just about to go off...

      Just kidding, have this unspecific object instead! It can be anything provided you have the imagination to use it!

    • Wellcome! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-16 18:42:00 UTC Link to this

      I found about PPC on Tv Tropes, too.

      However, enjoy your stay!

    • First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-16 18:30:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome by Sneezier on 2010-06-16 18:09:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, have some electro gum.

      • Re: Welcome by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-16 18:44:00 UTC Link to this

        Is it laced with Bleeprin? <. think i might need some soon enough if ever bring myself to read of these badfics...>

  • Beta Request and question for IndeMaat by Miah on 2010-06-16 19:41:00 UTC Link to this

    So I have a crossover Sue mission in Stargate Atlantis and Lord of the Rings (movie verse). The target fic was deleted when I was about halfway through writing it, so there is no link to the original. (I learned a valuable lesson about copying the target to some place I can have continued access to it over this.)

    I would particularly like someone that can check grammar and Lord of the Rings facts.

    https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AdAslkokw01-ZGdrN3ZuZDZfOWRtZmg2cmQ5&amp;hl=en

    IndeMaat: Would you mind if your agents make a brief cameo to drop off the mini?

    • I'll Beta for you... by Simon on 2010-06-16 21:44:00 UTC Link to this

      ... But as I've never done one before (Shame) How is feedback usually given? On here? Via email? Some arcane ritual requiring the correct sacrifices to Yog-Sothoth?
      I don't know anything about SG:A, and as I proved a couple of weeks ago, my LotR knowledge doesn't quite match some other PPCers, but I'll do what I can.

      • Re: I'll Beta for you... by Simon on 2010-06-16 22:10:00 UTC Link to this

        Ignore the above, I was writing that before realising the wonder of Google Docs.
        I've left a couple of comments, nothing big though, you seem to have a very solid mission there. :)

        • Thanks for helping (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-17 01:33:00 UTC Link to this
    • That's an easy question by IndeMaat on 2010-06-16 20:02:00 UTC Link to this

      Allison's kind of busy at the moment, but Tasmin's available for a cameo. I need an excuse to have her out of the response centre, so thanks.

      I don't know any LotR (blasphemy), but I can look at the grammar.

      • Thank you (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-16 21:18:00 UTC Link to this
  • Does this make it badfic? by Calista on 2010-06-17 07:59:00 UTC Link to this

    OK, I've been encountering this issue somewhat often lately: Characters who are not, in canon, capable of falling in love for some reason or other, are wedged sideways and without explanation into romantic relationships.

    For example: Peter Pan falls in love, without growing up and without any explanation other than that the Mary Sue is ridiculously beautiful and can out-fight the Villain of the Day. Sorry, but it's been tried with both Tinkerbell and Wendy, and neither one managed it... Similarly, I've seen very young children forced into romance that's got more in common with cheap romance novels than with cute puppy love.

    Other examples include teen and adult characters who are canonically established not to have a sex drive, and are put into romantic relationships with little or no explanation as to why they're suddenly interested. It's especially irritating if they're "married" to something else, like their job for example, and they just randomly ditch their former passion for their love interest.

    I'm asking about whether this is a badfic trait, because I'm a bit biased--I'm asexual and very aware of the fact that it is quite possible to be happily uninvolved in romance, and I get more than a little annoyed when the few examples of such characters have that unique trait destroyed exclusively because the author wants the character to be involved in a romance, with little or no explanation given for why the character is suddenly interested in getting it on with either Mary Sue or whoever the author's decided to slash them with today...

    • Yes. Yes it does. by Eclectus on 2010-06-17 17:49:00 UTC Link to this

      It's the main reason I don't read slash. Well, also because slash has a tendency to get graphic, and that just squicks me out. But it's one of the big reasons.

      Romance is hard. A lot of people don't think it is, but romance is very, very hard to write in a plausible way. At least for me it is. Many of the people in the Pit think they can write romance, when they really can't and should never even be allowed near someone else's canon. But then again, that's what we're here for...

      My personal pet peeve is when a young protagonist is arbitrarily paired with his/her father figure/mentor. Say, Luke Skywalker/Obi-wan Kenobi, or--I actually found a fic with this pairing the other day--Mr. Miyagi/Daniel. Eurgh. Not only is it squicky for age reasons, it destroys a perfectly good nonromantic relationship.

    • OOC-ness is bad, yes. by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-17 16:55:00 UTC Link to this

      But even if a character doesn't have a love interest in canon, that doesn't mean they don't want romance ever. Life isn't divided into "asexual" and "sex-crazed," and although yeah, you can't make someone just ditch their canonical passion, that doesn't preclude the possibility of romance. The first example that comes to mind is Lightning from FFXIII, who has no real love interest and didn't have much of a life outside her military career, but defrosts over the story and could conceivably end up with somebody. On the other hand, if it's someone who can't feel or can't love, like Peter Pan, I am totally with you.

    • I know what you mean. by Silikat on 2010-06-17 10:26:00 UTC Link to this

      In some of my fandoms, established asexuals are always forced into romance, just because the Suethor fancies the actor, or thinks it would be 'really cute' if two characters got together. That does make it badfic in my opinion, because they are out of character - we have the Department of Bad Slash dealing with people turning heterosexual characters homosexual (amongst other things)so maybe that should be included in there?

      • Re: I know what you mean by Elemarth on 2010-06-17 14:14:00 UTC Link to this

        Bad Slash usually includes Bad Het, as I remember, since they're very similar.

        • Didn't know that, sorry. (nm) by Silikat on 2010-06-17 17:17:00 UTC Link to this
      • If the relationship makes the character OOC by IndeMaat on 2010-06-17 10:35:00 UTC Link to this

        it's either bad slash or bad het, depending on who the other half of the badfic is.

        Would be more interesting if the OC fancied the character and found her attempts of woowing him twarded by desinterest. But then the OC wouldn't be a Sue.

        • Agreed. by Sedri on 2010-06-17 12:31:00 UTC Link to this

          I don't think there's a more specific charge than OOCness, but OOCness alone can qualify something as a badfic, so I suppose that's an answer to your question.

          In terms of missions, perhaps one of your agents could make a specific point of complaining about or taking missions that have this particular flaw (or, more likely, the Flowers send said agent on such missions just because it's sure to drive them mad)?

          • Yes, that would work... by Calista on 2010-06-18 16:51:00 UTC Link to this

            I do have one agent who is probably asexual. Kind of, anyway. It's normal for a LotR dwarf.

            Now to see about actually getting permission. Should have time to work on that tonight.

    • As a fellow asexual, I feel your pain. by anamia on 2010-06-17 08:20:00 UTC Link to this

      And I think it is. It seems to be a trait of badfic writers to think that asexuality doesn't exist, and it's just the matter of finding the "right" person. (Or they've never heard of it, which amounts to the same thing.) As a slash writer myself, I can't be too critical, as my writing tends to take assumed heterosexual male characters and pair them with other assumed heterosexual male characters, but I do try to make note of that and explore at least a little why they're in danger of changing their assumed orientations.

      Anyway, to stop rambling, I think it is a charge and a common trait. It's also lazy. Puppy-love is wonderfully cute when it's well done, but it's Gods' awfully hard to do well. Mithros knows I've tried...

      --anamia

  • What the devil? by Tawaki on 2010-06-17 17:59:00 UTC Link to this

    Screwtape's New Secretary thebrokencradle (NSFW)
    Toadpipe, Screwtape's secretary, comes to an unfortunate end. Screwtape is more than pleased with his new Secretary, who hails from the Second Circle of Hell. A series of encounters between Screwtape and Snaremouth.
    Screwtape Letters - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,641 - Published: 5-22-10 - Complete

    My comment: My brain just divided by zero.

    • wow by TheMadMaiden on 2010-06-19 13:55:00 UTC Link to this

      Wow, when they say nothing is safe, they really mean nothing...

    • ...I'm guessing slash? by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-18 15:33:00 UTC Link to this

      Some fandoms just should not have M-rated fic. Ever.

    • NOOOO by PoorCynic on 2010-06-18 00:11:00 UTC Link to this

      Now I need to go find a way to apply steel wool to the inside of my skull.

      • Have some hydrochloric acid, too. It helps. (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 01:21:00 UTC Link to this
  • RL standards, compared to canon? Also, new mission blog. by Laburnum on 2010-06-17 20:40:00 UTC Link to this

    Okay, so we have an animated canon. In it, human biology does not work exactly the same way as it does in real life. For example, brain damage causes one's hair to turn blue, and the blue-haired guy's children inherited it even though it wasn't genetic; nobody thinks green skin is worthy of any sort of comment; the best way to bring someone out of a coma is to hit them with a car; and it's possible to survive drinking several bottles of rum per day for months on end. However, the characters do seem to react to consumption of various substances in a fairly similar way to normal humans, though to a far lesser extent; the aforementioned several-bottles-of-rum-per-day gets the drinker incredibly drunk but has yet to kill him, and another character is perpetually stoned on amounts of pain medication which also would probably kill a real human.

    There is a fic in this fandom which, while pretty bad in other ways, featured a rescue scene which left me WTFing. See, the Sue suffers a gunshot wound. So, to save her, our heroes inject deadly nightshade into her. And it works. Instantly. To the point that the wound instantly closes up, she wakes from unconsciousness and is immediately able to sit up and talk.

    Now, by normal standards, this fails. However, I'm not sure whether the aforementioned canonical oddities would affect the severity of the charge. They have yet to be able to do this in canon, and as I said, I'm pretty sure they react to substances in something resembling a logical way ("logical" by cartoon standards, but still, you can at least usually see where they got the idea). Anyone have any thoughts?

    Also, I'm transferring my missions and MSTings off my personal website onto my new Dreamwidth blog: http://rc88.dreamwidth.org. It'll take me a while to get everything coded up and posted, but a couple things are up already. Missions won't be going down from my site for a while, but I thought I should tell people now.

    • And a similar problem about character's behaviour ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-18 23:19:00 UTC Link to this

      In the same fic, the characters barge into the emergency room and inject an unidentified substance into the patient in front of several doctors, none of whom actually make any attempt to stop them. They also don't get dragged out when the Sue apparently "dies" for a few seconds in order to create dramatic tension before her instant recovery, even though as far as the doctors would know they've just attempted to murder her, and if they get arrested the doctors would be arrested as well for letting them do so. In real life, this also fails. However, we're talking about a continuum in which three guys living in a zombie-infested building were allowed to keep an eight-year-old girl they found in a box with no legal difficulty at all, and in which a person like Murdoc Niccals (a self-absorbed petty criminal and Satan worshipper) was in fact forced by a community service order to look after a coma patient. So, y'know, distinct Somebody Else's Problem infection throughout the population. Still, the canon seems to run on the Rule of Awesome and the Rule of Funny, and this doesn't really fall into that category (except unintentionally in the latter case). So, still a charge, or not?

      • I'd say charge... by Techno-Dann on 2010-06-20 00:48:00 UTC Link to this

        There's a difference between unrealistic and just plain wrong.

        • Yeah, even in a continuum like this you'd think ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-20 22:59:00 UTC Link to this

          ... that the doctors would at least comment on the scary green-skinned guy and the teenage girl barging into the intensive care unit, waving a huge syringe.

    • See, this is why I avoid animated continua by Sedri on 2010-06-18 03:28:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm not sure, but at the very least you can throw implausibility charges at her. Hmm...

      No, can't think of anything more useful. Sorry.

    • I think we go by Canon standards by Simon on 2010-06-17 23:03:00 UTC Link to this

      I mean, magic doesn't work in RL, but we don't kill HP sues because they use magic. We kill them because they ignore Canon.
      If nightshade works in Canon, it's fine.
      What's the fandom, and can I have a link to this story? It sounds hilarious.

      • That's the thing, though, I'm pretty sure it shouldn't. by Laburnum on 2010-06-17 23:18:00 UTC Link to this

        Nobody in canon has taken nightshade onscreen, so I can't compare, and they don't seem AS affected by various substances as normal people would be, but they're still affected in a similar way; e.g. one character has been perpetually drunk for at least six months and hasn't died, but the alcohol got him drunk, it did not give him the ability to fly or anything. And the painkillers another character is addicted to help the migraines he got from the car accidents he's been in but don't, for example, heal up the scars. Therefore, it's never been tested in canon but I'm pretty certain deadly nightshade shouldn't do anything except kill them. They do operate on cartoon biology, but with cartoon biology, even if it's not accurate you can sort of see where they got the idea for what it does do. The nightshade thing is a bit random. I just thought I should ask to make sure.

        The fandom is Gorillaz, in case you don't know: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2749666/1/Finding_Fate

        • I think it's a little like the Magical Athelas problem. by Calista on 2010-06-18 09:40:00 UTC Link to this

          In LotR, you often see Suethors assuming that athelas is a cure-all. Well, it's a pretty handy plant to have around, especially if you're in the company of Aragorn and/or fighting Ringwraiths; but it's not by any means the only item you'll ever need in your Middle-earth first aid kit.

          You can charge for that--especially if it's obvious that the author just used athelas because s/he was too lazy to research actual herbal medication and practical field medicine of the sort that might actually be useful for a LotR character.

          Similarly, if the author takes an aspect of canon and stretches it out of shape, that counts as a charge.

          • So it's still a charge? (nm) by Laburnum on 2010-06-18 19:34:00 UTC Link to this
        • Ah right. by Simon on 2010-06-17 23:24:00 UTC Link to this

          From the sounds of it, she has bent the rules of Canon so far out of wack it's unreal. It might make for an interesting testing scene if you come up with a reason for the Flowers wanting to test it.

  • Epic Troll, or just plain Bleep!fic? by Pretzel on 2010-06-17 20:40:00 UTC Link to this

    I follow the Marysues community over at LJ (a great source for missions, if I do say so myself), and came across this post. Out of morbid curiosity, I went over to ff.net and looked at the reviews for this... interesting 'fic. They're quite amusing, though most are rather vitriolic.

    Tl;dr: Question: Is it a troll ala My Immortal, or just something that really needs to burn?

    • Re: Epic Troll, or just plain Bleep!fic? by Simon on 2010-06-17 23:31:00 UTC Link to this

      "Soooooooo sexy!1"

      I'm calling troll based on this AN alone.

      Or someone with a sticky "1" key.

      Actually, the ANs all seem to be quite snark. Gotta be a troll.

    • Fandom is getting to the point where you can't tell anymore. by Tawaki on 2010-06-17 21:14:00 UTC Link to this

      I'd give it a fifty/fifty chance it's a troll, 50/50 that it's Bleepfic.

      • Agreed. I can't tell either. by Sedri on 2010-06-18 03:25:00 UTC Link to this

        But then, I was never really able to tell in the first place. Either way, it's dreadful and spoiling canon, so KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT.

        *cough* Of course I'm calm.

      • Re: Fandom is getting to the point where you can't tell anymore. by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-17 21:41:00 UTC Link to this

        ...I honestly cannot tell. IIRC, I once stumbled across a Twilight crossover fic somewhere on FF.net whose author made a point of making their identity as a troll as brain-searingly obvious as possible.

        With this fic, unfortunately, it's too difficult to tell at a glance. If it is a troll, they're being just subtle enough to raise questions. I'd say there's no way in the nine circles of Hell it could be serious, but since I've so far pointedly refused to read any of the badfics killed by the OS, I really wouldn't know for sure...

      • So, kill it regardless? (nm) by Pretzel on 2010-06-17 21:17:00 UTC Link to this
        • Yes, kill it regardless by PoorCynic on 2010-06-18 00:05:00 UTC Link to this

          There have already been several troll fics sporked by the PPC, including the (in)famous Half Life: Full Life Consequences. Trolls shouldn't be given free passes just because of why they happen to be writing. If you judge it to be bad enough or interesting enough to warrant a mission, go ahead and write it.

          There is also apparently a Troll Division in the Department of Bad Parody, but I believe there's only been one recorded mission.

          • Will do, then. by Pretzel on 2010-06-18 01:18:00 UTC Link to this

            I've got plans for this 'fic; it won't be anytime in the near future-- not within the next few missions, certainly --but soon enough...

        • A Sue is a Sue by Simon on 2010-06-17 23:32:00 UTC Link to this

          Even though it's a troll.

          Maybe a Dept of Troll!Sues would be a fun idea...

          • Whoops, forgot the link-- by Calista on 2010-06-18 09:19:00 UTC Link to this

            http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Troll_Division

            The Troll Division is in the Department of Bad Parody. It doesn't currently have any active agents.

          • There already is. (nm) by Calista on 2010-06-18 09:17:00 UTC Link to this
  • Karate Kid by Eclectus on 2010-06-17 22:05:00 UTC Link to this

    Just saw it yesterday. Thought it was decent. Took too much off the original, though, and Mr. Miyagi is still awesomer than Jackie Chan.

    So what d' y'all think of the remake? Good? Bad? How does it compare to the original? IMO, the original was way better, but I doubt everyone agrees.

    And, since I'm thinking about it, how do we feel about spinoffs and remakes, like this? Do they fit into the canon? Do they alter the canon? Do they make their own canon? I'd say the first or last option.

    • It's just like LOTR book verse versus movie verse by DigitalSocrates on 2010-06-18 19:50:00 UTC Link to this

      They're the same canon, but each is within it's own subcanon.

      • Ah, I see. Thanks. (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 20:35:00 UTC Link to this
  • Krisprolls is 73 today. by Khajidu on 2010-06-17 22:20:00 UTC Link to this

    Happy birthday!

    The usual party is being held at the Cafeteria and the Infernal Trio is putting the place upside down.

    ENGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!! (

    • Happy birthday, Krisprolls! by doctorlit on 2010-06-18 04:57:00 UTC Link to this

      I've got three bottles of seagull repellent for you and your brothers (I know you technically aren't ships anymore, but seagulls can be incredibly dumb sometimes)!

      • Thanks. by Krisprolls on 2010-06-18 16:52:00 UTC Link to this

        Seagulls in HQ? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* Sorry. *exits Rodney McKay mode* Sure, these seagulls were a pain in the... elbow. (feck, What' is watching. Hate this.)

    • Have a baby hawk! by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 01:29:00 UTC Link to this

      'cause they're among the most adorable things in the universe, AND they can eat your face.

      • Yeah, just look at Hodgesaargh! by Pretzel on 2010-06-18 02:30:00 UTC Link to this

        You know, the Disc's best falconer and hawk-trainer?

        • But of course! by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 16:12:00 UTC Link to this

          Exactly what I'm talking about!

          But I'd rather think that this hawk has a bit more manners than that. Poor breeding, you know... Can't trust those wild mountain hawks. xP

    • Paaar-teh! by Pretzel on 2010-06-18 01:26:00 UTC Link to this

      Ian and Lee come in, bearing many baked goods and presents. Lee probably way over-baked for the party, making at least four dozen cookies of various kinds, but she could care less. Once they put their burdens down on assorted tables- the cookies on one and the presents (a bulk-size case of Bleeprin from Ian and a large spiky-looking thing from Lee), they join the party, generally having fun and other assorted party stuff.

      • Krisprolls ate everything... by Khajidu on 2010-06-18 16:56:00 UTC Link to this

        ... thanked Ian and Lee for the presents and started singing loudly IN THE NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME OF LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE or other random things while dancing on the tables.

    • Have a Mark IV K-9! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-17 23:48:00 UTC Link to this
  • Anyone like MSTs? by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-17 23:43:00 UTC Link to this

    ...I've got with me a bunch o' links for good MSTing sites. (Also, is anyone familiar with the show? 'Cause it may come in handy here...)

    Elmer Studios http://www.heavens-feel.com/elmer/ (This one's a mirror, since Geocities went down a while ago)

    Card Captors Scinece Theater http://cardcaptor_schlueter.tripod.com/ (Includes the cast of Cardcaptor (Sakura), though in-characterness might be an issue)

    A MSTing For All Seasons http://www.nabiki.com/mst/ (Prefer the original cast of MST3K to do your riffings? Never fear! This site has plenty o'riffs from Joel, Mike and the Bots!)

    So yeah... I figured I'd share some of my favorite MSTing sites with you all (Unfortuntely, none of these have been updated in ages...) Enjoy!

    • Re: Anyone like MSTs? by Simon on 2010-06-18 12:25:00 UTC Link to this

      I haven't watched any of the MST shows, but i prefer the MST style to a straight forward mission report.
      It allows for more mickey taking opportunites. And the reader of the mission gets to suffer too!

    • Funny. by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-18 12:19:00 UTC Link to this

      The Card Captor Sakura one was quite funny, indeed.

      Good, or in the future I would have PPCed it.

  • First additions to Unclaimed Badfic. Maybe. by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-18 01:59:00 UTC Link to this

    Before I start editing mercilessly to throw these four into the list, I want to run them past you guys to make sure I've found material worth PPCing. I myself have only skimmed each of these, which is primarily why I must ask for the more experienced sporks to take a poke at them...

    Not in that way, of course. I'd be more worried for your collective sanity than I already am if that was the case.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6058826/1/Warfare_High_School - Warfare High School. Already sounds promising, doesn't it? Call of Duty 4 / MW2 crossover, placing lead characters from both games in an appallingly punctuated high-school setting. So far I haven't even brought myself to finish chapter one, but I'm guessing some awful excuse for drama ensues soon enough; especially with Ghost hitting on a meek little girl named Alexandra...

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6060924/1/son_of_dante - Click this link. I dare you. Not a shred of smut, thankfully, but you need only skim this marvellous piece of garbage to understand - perhaps more fully than is really necessary - why it deserves sporking in some creative fashion or another.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6007699/1/The_Fox_and_The_HalfBreed - Pending a more detailed read, which I'm dreading, I can thus far barely make sense of this one. What I can gather is an overall poor grasp of punctuation, too many poorly-described characters to bother trying to keep track of, and use of the names of characters from a few existing animes (Szayel and Sesshoumaru stand out).

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6028348/1/Nero_and_Dantes_obsession_with_fanfiction - NeroxDante slash; only the first chapter is up right now. Admittedly well written and punctuated, but it remains to be seen how the pairing itself will be handled. Might want to keep tabs on this one.

    • Challenge Accteped! by Simon on 2010-06-18 12:13:00 UTC Link to this

      Well, it would be but the story seems to be down.

      On the subject of adding unclaimed fic:
      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5811848/1/Artemis_Fowl_and_the_Time_Lord Poorly explained, Artemis, Foaly and The Doctor get into a "who's smarter" competition, by going to the limit of Pi. (Pi, of course, has no limit.) Holly is talking Artemis' parents, with no regard for Fairy Secrecy.

      And that's half way through the first chapter. Things can only get worse. Unlikely Crossovers, I give this one to you.

      • It burns us! by Miah on 2010-06-18 16:29:00 UTC Link to this

        Ow! That one hurts just reading about it!

        • Re: It burns us! by Simon on 2010-06-18 16:50:00 UTC Link to this

          It's horri-fic.
          http://instantrimshot.com/
          Can that be a new category?
          Anyway, I've chosen my first mission (Permission Pending) so this is for anyone. I'll add it to the Wiki as well.

    • Re: First additions to Unclaimed Badfic. Maybe. by Sedri on 2010-06-18 03:21:00 UTC Link to this

      Not having a clue what fandom these are for, I couldn't say, but I took your dare and clicked link #2, and you're right... ow, ow, ow. Punctuation abuse HURTS.

      *limps off*

      • Re: First additions to Unclaimed Badfic. Maybe. by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-18 22:07:00 UTC Link to this

        Fandoms are Call of Duty and Devil May Cry; Warfare High School obviously being the former and the others belonging to the latter.

  • Mission plug and other tidbits by Miah on 2010-06-18 16:27:00 UTC Link to this

    First, here is Miah and Cali's latest mission.

    Agents Miah and Cali are Almost Lost when their mission fic, aptly named Lost is deleted. Sue killing, continuum disentangling, songs inappropriate for minors, and fights between minis and winged kittens are all part of the job in this mission to a crossover between Stargate Atlantis and Lord of the Rings.



    Second, *sings loudly and off key*

    "Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy Biirrrthdaaaay to Meee-eee!"

    It's my birthday today, could you tell? If you all promise not to poke the old person here with sticks, I'll tell you that I am now 31.




    And lastly, uhhhhhh.....

    uhhhhh......

    I know I had a third thing, but I can't remember it now, at all. Maybe it'll come to me later. (Perfect timing on the forgetfulness, what with being another year older today, eh?)



    • Happy birthday, here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-20 10:04:00 UTC Link to this

      Watch out, this one is not a fan of Krisprolls's.

    • Happy bithrday! by Elemarth on 2010-06-19 16:08:00 UTC Link to this

      Have some generic candy.

    • Happy Birthday! by Silikat on 2010-06-19 12:51:00 UTC Link to this

      And, as a present...have a Random Artefact of Rassilon. It looks like a toaster, but who knows! Could be anything.

      • Neat. Thanks. (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-19 15:13:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy Birthday! by Sedri on 2010-06-19 11:33:00 UTC Link to this

      Have an alien hamster. ;p

      • Thank you by Miah on 2010-06-19 15:11:00 UTC Link to this

        I can sense a trip to the PPC General store in my near future. There are some comical possibilities in having a rodent in my RC.

        *Rubs hands evilly* Let the plotting begin.

    • I feel like there should be a witty subject line here... by anamia on 2010-06-19 10:13:00 UTC Link to this

      ...But I can't think of one, so I'll settle for, "Happy Birthday!" and "Great mission!"

      I'm thinking agents Cocoa and Puff should meet either Castor or Agent Eileen, or both. When I finally get around to finishing Sarah and Elaina's latest mission, they'll have a mini-'Sue to cope with. It will very quickly go to the scientists, namely Cocoa and Puff, and Eileen is welcome to pop in if she likes. -grins-

      Agents Sarah and Elaina are currently away, so they have left me to deliver your birthday gift. It is my great pleasure to present you with a genuine Spaceballs-verse ring of schwartz. Use it wisely.

      --anamia

      • That movie is cool. Thank you. (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-19 15:08:00 UTC Link to this
    • Congrats by IndeMaat on 2010-06-18 22:37:00 UTC Link to this

      *pats the young person on the shoulder* You'll never catch up with me.

    • Happy birthday! by Gen on 2010-06-18 22:13:00 UTC Link to this

      *gives a present*

      Also, I enjoyed the mission. Kittens are always great. :D

    • Happy birthday! by doctorlit on 2010-06-18 20:51:00 UTC Link to this

      Since your mission title initially made me think it was in the Lost fandom, my present to you is a white rabbit with an "8" painted on its side.

      • That's cool! Thanks. (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:53:00 UTC Link to this
    • Third thing by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:27:00 UTC Link to this

      I finally remembered what else I was going to ask, but it wasn't supposed to go here--it was supposed to go on the wiki, which it did, so I am just babbling in the form of extreme run-on now for no apparent reason except to see how long I can string this sentence out. :D

      *Miah is feeling rather silly due to lack of sleep*

    • *hands present* by Firebird766 on 2010-06-18 20:16:00 UTC Link to this

      Inside you find... Metal Gear Rex? How did that fit in there?

      • Thanks by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:23:00 UTC Link to this

        (Trumpet fanfare)

        Metal Gear Rex!

        Metal Gear Rex!

        Metal Gear Rex!

        *under breath* It's only a model

        Shh!

        :D

    • Have a Mark II K-9! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-18 20:11:00 UTC Link to this
      • Cool (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:37:00 UTC Link to this
    • Happy Birthday! by Pretzel on 2010-06-18 19:37:00 UTC Link to this

      *hands over Abbey, as promised*

      I'm sure Magee will be happy. ^^

      • Thank you by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:04:00 UTC Link to this

        I had noticed that this is early seasons where Abby and McGee were still dating. Maybe she can get him to stop saying rude words.

        • Good luck with that one. by Pretzel on 2010-06-19 02:09:00 UTC Link to this

          I can write up a short piece where one of my agents drops her off at your RC, if you'd like.

    • Mini-Wraith by Elorie on 2010-06-18 19:31:00 UTC Link to this

      Can I adopt Ronan if he isn't adopted yet?

      • Ok by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:03:00 UTC Link to this

        Yeah, I think him and Castor might kill each other if I don't give him away. He is a lot on the messy side for Cali's sanity too. I can't wait to see what happens when he recovers enough to notice the ring of bacon grease prints. :D

        Do you want your agents to come get him, or mine to deliver him?

        • Re: Ok by Elorie on 2010-06-19 07:05:00 UTC Link to this

          I don't have Permission yet... So either wait until I have Permission, or someone else gets Ronan, or I - can I appear as Boarder-wraith? Or something similar?

          • Re: Ok by Miah on 2010-06-19 17:41:00 UTC Link to this

            I could foster him in The Lair for a while until your agents get out of training. I can think of a few ways for him to cause trouble in the meantime.

            Just remind me if I forget when you do get permission.

            • Ok. (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-19 18:19:00 UTC Link to this
    • Re: Mission plug and other tidbits by Elorie on 2010-06-18 19:30:00 UTC Link to this

      Happy birthday! *gives a large birthday cake and a secret present*

      And nice mission. The title is a good choice, too.

      • "What is it!?" Jumps up & down like a 6 yr old "Ooh cake!" (nm by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:07:00 UTC Link to this
        • Secret Present by Elorie on 2010-06-19 07:28:00 UTC Link to this

          Well, it is... something very useful, with many purposes, and handy. A shiny, new, wooden rolling pin!

          • Ooh shiny! by Miah on 2010-06-19 17:43:00 UTC Link to this

            I solemnly swear to not hit Cali over the head with it unless he really deserves it.

            Thanks.

    • Well done! by Calista on 2010-06-18 16:49:00 UTC Link to this

      I liked it quite a lot. Your agents were really scrambling to get things done before they got deleted.

      Also, Cali is just plain cute. I don't know why, but he is. He reminds me of a puppy, for some reason...

      • Thanks by Miah on 2010-06-18 18:33:00 UTC Link to this

        I am constantly having to make sure that I don't write Miah mothering him too much.

  • New Person by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 20:02:00 UTC Link to this

    Well, I can't actually remember how I discovered all this, but it's nice here and smells of pleasant pine freshness. I read the original stuff a while back, loved it, read the DoWTF, loved that. Now I'm following it up and MAKING MYSELF KNOWN... Sorry. Hello everyone.

    • Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2010-06-20 10:06:00 UTC Link to this

      Fair winds!

    • Wow. Thanks! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-19 18:10:00 UTC Link to this

      Seriously, this is the nicest welcome I've ever had. My parents weren't this nice to me when I was born. You're all such lovely people! *explodes*

      • :) Welcome posts tend to be like that. by Sedri on 2010-06-21 06:08:00 UTC Link to this

        We want all newbies to feel welcome enough to stay to become oldbies. But I know what you mean; I remember feeling giddy for two days after my welcome thread. Makes for a nice comminuty.

    • Welcome! by Elemarth on 2010-06-19 16:07:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a glass paperweight shaped like an artichoke. Sorry, no clockwork inside.

    • Welcome! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-19 14:48:00 UTC Link to this

      i'll gie you a gun. Good for killing Sues and threatening the mad people here if they get dangerous.

    • Hullo hullo hullo! Have a steamer trunk of infinite capacity (nm by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-19 14:37:00 UTC Link to this
    • Hello there! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-19 14:06:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

    • Greetings, O Clockwork vegetable. by Silikat on 2010-06-19 12:48:00 UTC Link to this

      Seriously, that is an awesome username. Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

    • Welcome! by Elorie on 2010-06-19 07:25:00 UTC Link to this

      A welcoming hug *hugs* and I heard the bumper stickers are somewhere back there. *motions behind her*

      Anyway... I don't have crazy things to give like other people, so I will simply wish you the best here, have fun, leave your sanity in the designated area, and welcome newbie.
      But maybe I will come up with something...

      Do be aware that we like shiny, new things and you might be glomped on occasion.

    • LINKS! And a fluffy toy. by Sedri on 2010-06-19 03:58:00 UTC Link to this

      I see no one has given you The Links yet, so I get to. :)

      The Links, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

      * The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
      * The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

      The Board:
      * The Board Constitution
      * The FAQ: For the Board

      The Wiki:
      * We have our very own PPC Wiki
      * The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
      * Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
      * The Mission Writing Guide
      * The Slash-Sporking Guide
      * The FAQ: For Newbies.
      When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

      And finally, but very usefully,
      * The List of Everything PPC

    • Greetings! by PoorCynic on 2010-06-19 03:18:00 UTC Link to this

      Please enjoy this riding lawnmower as a welcoming present.

    • *cheers* by Pretzel on 2010-06-19 02:11:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome, fellow food-named person! I hereby bestow upon you a Frying Pan of DoomTM, a plate of brownies, and a Bag of Holding, compliments of Agents Ian and Lee of RC 6237. Feel free to drop by and chat with them if you like.

    • Have a Jaguar cub! by WikiMaster on 2010-06-19 00:41:00 UTC Link to this

      Feed it only Generic Meat.

    • YO! by Maudlin Hart on 2010-06-19 00:20:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's some lemon butter. Yummy yummy lemon butter.

    • Why hello there, new person. :D by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-18 23:47:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the Board and all its attendant insanity.

      Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They may come in handy!

    • Hullo! by Gen on 2010-06-18 22:14:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a stuffed panda that eats, shoots and leaves.

      • Re: Hullo! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 22:23:00 UTC Link to this

        Obscure (or not) reference aside, that's pretty impressive for a stuffed animal.

        • However, it's an awesome reference, no? by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-18 23:49:00 UTC Link to this

          Not to mention a pretty badass panda.

          • Agreed. by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-19 01:20:00 UTC Link to this

            It has sunglasses now. No idea where they came from.

            • I missed that reference. by Eclectus on 2010-06-19 22:51:00 UTC Link to this

              But whatever the canon is, I want to know... Tell please?

              • Reference GET! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-19 23:11:00 UTC Link to this

                Eats, shoots and leaves is a fantastic book on the proper use of punctuation. There's a panda involved. Oh yes.


                http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eats-shoots-leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1861976127

                • I'm so glad my pandas are popular. :D by Gen on 2010-06-20 00:45:00 UTC Link to this

                  They love to spread the joy (and possible consequence of violence) of punctuation.

    • Welcome, new friend! by doctorlit on 2010-06-18 20:59:00 UTC Link to this

      *Sniffs* Pine freshness? Blegh! Sorry about that. Don't worry, I'll figure out what's causing that smell. In the meantime, take this!
      *Hands over an air freshener shaped like a skunk*
      Ah, that's much better.

      • Re: Welcome, new friend! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 21:04:00 UTC Link to this

        Incidentally, I was once sued by a skunk for property damage.
        That may or may not be true.

    • Welcome! Have a door! by Firebird766 on 2010-06-18 20:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Just make sure you step around it instead of through it, as it leads to Silent Hill.

      • The Scary Door by Clockwork-Artichoke on 2010-06-18 21:01:00 UTC Link to this

        You just wanted to get rid of the cursed thing, didn't you?
        *opens door, throws in live grenade, then ties door shut with multicoloured woolen scarf*
        I'm like McGyver.

        • Hey, don't throw grenades into random RCs! by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 21:08:00 UTC Link to this

          You never know who (or what) is inside...

          • WHO THREW A GRENADE IN OUR RC??? (nm) by The Infernal Trio on 2010-06-20 10:07:00 UTC Link to this
          • What Grenade? by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 21:15:00 UTC Link to this

            Er, er, Firebird did it!

    • Greetings! by MAXinsanity on 2010-06-18 20:17:00 UTC Link to this

      Here, have this grenade that's about to go off-

      JUST KIDDING! Here, have this unspecific thing instead. It can be anything you want it to be, provided you have the imagination!

      • Re: Greetings! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 20:24:00 UTC Link to this

        Hooray, it's a plot device for later use! Thanks, Mr. Chekhov! Wait, it turned into a grenade that's about to-

    • Welcome! by Miah on 2010-06-18 20:13:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

      Please use them IRresponsibly!

      What fandoms do you follow?

      • Re: Welcome! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 20:22:00 UTC Link to this

        Fandoms, fandoms...
        Well, I've always been a massive fan of the Discworld series. I've just started reading LotR, too, thanks to this very place! Er. I read a lot of manga, but I'm not sure if you can cover that here...
        Also, thanks for the gifts! They make me suspect that you're someone else from England. It was warm today; that was nice.

        • So you read manga? by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 20:33:00 UTC Link to this

          So do I! :) What series?

          • Re: So you read manga? by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 20:37:00 UTC Link to this

            Well, Naruto and Bleach. But they're obvious. I read Deathnote ages ago, and am collecting Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle and Mahou Sensei Negima at the moment. Right at this moment I'm reading Fairy Tail. I'm open to any recommendations, of course!
            *breathe*

            • Ooh. by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 21:07:00 UTC Link to this

              I don't like the Big Three much (Naruto, One Piece, and Bleach) but Death Note was amazing.

              Reccomendations? Well, I have to say Hikaru no Go. It's drawn by Takeshi Obata, the same person who drew Death Note, but the author's different. I love it. Contesting for my favorite manga...

              If you're reading Tsubasa, I'd recommend xxxHOLIC, the sister series--assuming you haven't read it already. It's good.

              • Re: Ooh. by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 21:18:00 UTC Link to this

                I'm a bit scared of reading XXXholic, because of potential spoilers. That said, I've already read 10 volumes ^^;
                And a friend of mine has recommended Hikaru no Go in the past, but then put me off by raving about the ending being lame. The art does look amazing, though.

                • Yeah, the ending *is* kinda lame. by Eclectus on 2010-06-18 21:21:00 UTC Link to this

                  But the rest makes up for it. ^.^

                  • I'll keep that in mind! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-18 21:25:00 UTC Link to this

                    Thanks for the wisdom, master ^^

    • First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2010-06-18 20:10:00 UTC Link to this
  • Hey, Miah! by Pretzel on 2010-06-19 10:00:00 UTC Link to this

    Ahem. As promised, your mini:

    The Delivering of a Mini.

    Hope you enjoy Abbey!

    -Pretzel

    • That was great! by Miah on 2010-06-19 15:07:00 UTC Link to this

      I laughed the whole way through. Thank you!

      • Hurray! by Pretzel on 2010-06-19 20:46:00 UTC Link to this

        I'm glad I made you laugh. I was slightly worried about writing your characters without knowing exactly how to write them, so I'm glad there aren't any complaints on that front. ^^;

        • Re: Hurray! by Anonymous on 2010-06-20 01:40:00 UTC Link to this

          'A harried-looking Cali was revealed, his vibrant blue hair mussed up even more than usual, which was saying something, given that on any normal day some of the better descriptors of his hair could be "sentient and possibly trying to escape".'

          That was my favorite part there. I loved that description of his hair.

          • Re: Hurray! by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 01:42:00 UTC Link to this

            Aw, thanks! I had fun writing that bit. Actually, I had fun writing the whole thing.

          • Oops that was me by Miah on 2010-06-20 01:41:00 UTC Link to this

            Would it be okay to put a link to that story on my agents' pages?

            • Re: Oops that was me by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 01:48:00 UTC Link to this

              That would be perfectly fine. ^^

              • Thanks (nm) by Miah on 2010-06-20 02:17:00 UTC Link to this
                • No Problem! (nm) by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 02:21:00 UTC Link to this
  • Part 3 of the dreaded Naruto kittensquick fic ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 12:40:00 UTC Link to this

    And this time, we have a new recruit!
    http://chelonianmobile.livejournal.com/105076.html

    • Oh gawd. by PitViperOfDoom on 2010-06-20 05:37:00 UTC Link to this

      You know how you're always saying your death-by-rape assassinations (i.e. Drip and the Redneck Trees) are tasteless and unethical? Well, you could have S&S decide that that's the only thing that could possibly be bad enough for them, and then have a moment where they look at each other and agree that Laburnum and Foxglove must never, ever find out about this.

      That, or you could do a reenactment of Tybalt Montlet's death. You know, from Suicide for Hire.

      • I was thinking something like Evelyn Eliza's death ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-20 11:57:00 UTC Link to this

        ... in Technical Errors, where they read to her from the canon until she exploded. Or having the Naruto OFU staff take turns stomping them. Not sure what they'd have to be raped to death BY if we did that ... I knew I need to watch more anime ^_^ Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion?

        Though I was considering, at some point, having S&S and/or L&F leave Sues for the Nighthunt as a peace offering. Don't think even that would be unpleasant enough for these, though ...

        • Are you sure the Nighthunt under Kiern would kill them? (nm) by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-20 17:38:00 UTC Link to this
          • Re: Are you sure the Nighthunt under Kiern would kill them? by Laburnum on 2010-06-20 18:33:00 UTC Link to this

            I was thinking back at the beginning of the Nighthunt sideplot in VQ, when Veneno and Deathcry were still alive. Though I think Kiern would want these things dead as much as any semi-sane being would, if he just heard them speak for five minutes.

    • I thought the first two parts were bad... by doctorlit on 2010-06-20 01:12:00 UTC Link to this

      ...but the fact that this story even exists in a supposedly good world is doing cruel things to my outlook of humanity. I know we aren't supposed to talk about the authors, but I sincerely hope this one never rises to a position of power over another human being. Or any other animal, for that matter.

      • I will confess that it was hard ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-20 02:06:00 UTC Link to this

        ... not to put a long vitriolic rant against the author in there somewhere. The original draft of the author's notes had me calling him a number of things which I sobered up and realised I'd likely get kicked out of the PPC for openly saying, so I took that out.

        I will, however, say that, to steal a metaphor from Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere", calling his writing creepy is like describing the planet Jupiter as being larger than a duck.

    • There's more than one way to skin a cat... by Firebird766 on 2010-06-19 18:05:00 UTC Link to this

      Or would that be TOO extreme? Live skinning would probably get HQ on their case right quick, but if you're looking for a particularly nasty death...

    • Thank you... by Elorie on 2010-06-19 15:48:00 UTC Link to this

      ... for dealing with this - thing. I can't believe someone did that to Naruto! I know slash is abundant there, but a monstrosity like that... Ugh.
      Thank you again for killing it. I hope the Author rots in hell for that. Trivializing rape, implied paedophilia - just yuck.

      Thank you, and I pray you survive this with you (in)sanity mostly intact.

      I shall donate a full filling of the Bleepka Fountain for you to use and scub the images from your brain when the mission is finished.

      • You're welcome :) by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 16:41:00 UTC Link to this

        We're not supposed to hate on the authors, I know, but with this guy, it's REALLY REALLY HARD not to. Particularly since all of his fics are equally creepy, though with most of them we are at least spared the babytalk and cat ears.

        Someone on LJ summarised his work thus: "So, according to him, Sakura is too stupid, weak, and sexual (because clearly her crush on Sasuke makes her bad, therefore sexual woman = evil slut), so having her be tortured to death by her crush is somehow striking a blow for women everywhere." (Yes, the guy has apparently openly expressed this view.) "Meanwhile, he casts Naruto as feminine, but his idea of femininity is Naruto being weak, stupid, and sexual, exactly the same things he despises Sakura for. The only difference appears to be that Naruto has a penis and Sakura doesn't. Meanwhile, as if this wasn't bad enough, he casts Sasuke as the icon of masculinity, so ... his idea of masculinity is someone who tortures and kills women because he hates them and they deserve to die, and who rapes and tortures the 'pure' feminine boy on the pretext of loving him."

        • Re: You're welcome :) by Elorie on 2010-06-19 16:50:00 UTC Link to this

          That's just...
          That guy has some serious issues, methinks. I was actually thinking someone should post a link to your mission.

          • Not a good idea, methinks. by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 17:50:00 UTC Link to this

            It's not really the done thing to give the authors links to the sporkings, it could spawn horrible flamewars which'll never get resolved and it'd be humiliating for all concerned.

            I'd say a review telling him the problems would be a good idea, but it's not like he's going to listen to a random internet stranger, so that's also a bad idea.

            • Oh. Ok. (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-19 18:20:00 UTC Link to this
    • Yuck... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-19 14:24:00 UTC Link to this

      This thing seemes to keep getting worse and worse! I can't wait until this... ambomination of a story is destroyed once and for all!

      • Thanks :) by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 14:38:00 UTC Link to this

        It's hard to come up with a suitably horrible way to kill the kittens (Drake is not allowed to test his theory about whether he can choose the kitten which dies when he ... you know). We're thinking mass execution in the abandoned Temple, a la Evelyn Eliza. Since they're cats, we may have to kill them nine times ... thoughts?

        • Barbeque. Live. Slowly. by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-20 03:45:00 UTC Link to this

          With hot sauce all over them and dripping into their eyes.

          • Unsure if it's safe to eat them, though ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-20 11:59:00 UTC Link to this

            As Naomi said in part 2, these things are diabetes waiting to happen. (I know diabetes doesn't work that way in real life, but these are Sues we're talking about.)

            • Feed the kittens to the humans, then kill the humans. (nm) by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-20 17:39:00 UTC Link to this
        • What about... by PoorCynic on 2010-06-19 18:31:00 UTC Link to this

          A big sack, a brick, and the river Ankh?

          • I don't think they'd drown in the Ankh ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 18:34:00 UTC Link to this

            We risk them being able to walk ashore. 'Sides, we might need that for a Discworld mission some time, and S&S aren't very familiar with Discworld in the first place.

        • Re: Thanks :) by Elorie on 2010-06-19 16:58:00 UTC Link to this

          Mass execution sounds good. Lots of fire, maybe? Burn them on the stake (Maybe by Agents from the Naruto continuum using a Fire jutsu?) like heretics they are? And as they're not real kittens, I don't think you have to worry about nine lives.
          But maybe you could lock them up, incapacitated, together with No-Drool videos, and watch them die from sexual withdrawal? I know torturing is frowned upon, but it seems like poetic justice to have oversexed kittens die from watching porn and sexual frustration?
          But maybe that's too 'Ick'...
          Hmm... I do have a few ideas, though some the Flowers probably would object to, and some are almost as squicky as the fic... Damn my imagination.
          Anyway, I'll post some more when I have ideas that involve poetic justice and no squick. I just love poetic justice...

          • I considered letting Stormsong gut them, because ... by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 17:56:00 UTC Link to this

            ... being a Mossflower vermin, he makes his lutestrings out of actual catgut. (Yes, I know in the real world catgut is actually sheep gut. Close enough for government work.) However, I don't think that's painful enough for them. Since they're Sues and could possibly survive a lot more damage than a normal being (plenty of Sues recover at unfeasible speeds from life-threatening injuries) maybe he could gut them before the proper execution, since whatever we do to them is likely to ruin the intestines beyond usefulness. We thought about drowning them, since that's what one traditionally does with unwanted cats, but again, not painful enough. And Drake's idea in Part 2 is a) unlikely to actually work and b) disconcerting to say the least, so no-go there.

            • Just a question... by Eclectus on 2010-06-19 22:50:00 UTC Link to this

              You say they're Sues, but they're masquerading as canons. Wouldn't that make them canon!Sues by definition, and therefore made for exorcism rather than murder?

              ...Unless the Sue is just too strong, and they're not so much canons as Sues with canon names. Since I'm not really willing to read the thing myself (squick! squick!), I'm just curious.

              • Nope, these are outright Character Replacements. by Laburnum on 2010-06-19 23:03:00 UTC Link to this

                To quote Trojie: "A name-change usually denotes a replacement. As does a complete moral transplant: for instance, Harry Potter driven by guilt and ANGST to wander around killing Death Eaters and capslocking about it is probably possessed; Harry Potter killing Death Eaters for fun and profit and not angsting OR capslocking about it is mostly likely a replacement." In this case, Canon!Naruto is quite definitely not a two-foot-tall babytalking hermaphrodite with cat ears, so it's a Sue/Stu(?) that stole his name, not a possessed version of him.

  • A few questions... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-19 16:30:00 UTC Link to this

    I've been working on my agent ideas, though I'm not sure how long you have hang out here to be eligable for sporking.

    I was also wondering about new recruits that haven't been used yet, and if any of them are eligible to use.

    And one last question: What do you need to exorcise Video Game badfic? And say you're like me and don't really play video games... but still like a good number of them anyway?

    • Thanks... by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-21 17:10:00 UTC Link to this

      Thank you everyone for your input. I would like to get into badfic sporking... I just want to make surer my characters are good, and the sample writing thing has put me on edge, seeing as my last attempt was more or less a flop. I'll still be working on it, though,

      And one more thing- my last question inolved the exorcism of video games, and I guess I should clarify. See, I don't actually play a lot of video games, nor do I have some of the systems/games for the ones I do like, so I'm wondering what I could use for exorcisms. Maybe my other agent could have a few...

    • For Video Games by PoorCynic on 2010-06-19 18:28:00 UTC Link to this

      There are plenty of websites where one can research the various canonical aspects of video games. Major games such as Left 4 Dead, Halo, or Kingdom Hearts almost always have their own Wikis.

      It also helps if you can get a beta reader with experience with the game in which your fic is set.

    • A few answers... by Elorie on 2010-06-19 16:47:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm somewhat a newbie myself, but I'll try to answer all the questions to the best of my ability.

      To be "eligible for sporking", aka take on missions, you have to hang around the Board at least a month, be active so people get to know you, and then post a Permission Request entailing a short description of your agents, a Permission Request itself (can be anything from a simple "Hey, I would like to write missions." to an elaborate hundred sentences like "I solemnly swear to banish the evil that is the MarySue whereever I encounter it in the Word Worlds."), and a writing sample to show that you have a good grasp of English grammar, spelling and vocabulary. Can be PPC-related, but doesn't have to be. You could for example choose an essay you wrote for school which you are very proud of.
      Then the Permission Givers will either give you Permission or not, in which case they will explain what you lack in their eyes.

      About new recruits: It depends. Whoever rescued them from a fic has the ultimate say in things. Go ask them.

      To exorcise Video Game badfics you need a CD-ROM or something similar with the game on it (Canon Material), and depending on you, candles, bells, chimes, incense and the like. The character to be exorcised is hit with the Canon Material and variations of "Get thee out! The power of (original author) compels you!" until the Author-Wraith appears and is charged and slain.
      To handle missions in continua, you need a working kwnowledge of them. I am not sure if you have to play them, but I don't think so. You just have to be able to tell what's Canon and what isn't.

      I hope this helps. The wiki is also a good place to look for answers.

      • That seems to cover just about everything :) (nm) by Sedri on 2010-06-20 04:11:00 UTC Link to this
      • Thanks! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-06-19 17:24:00 UTC Link to this

        I've been around for a while, though I'm not sure if I've been active enough.

        And as for the writing sample part, well, for me, is a bit of a concern, seeing as I don't exactly have much faith in my own writing skills...

        I'll have to look into it.

        • No worries by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-19 18:24:00 UTC Link to this

          I'm sure everyone's had problems like that at some point. I myself like to think I'm a damn good writer when it comes to technical skill, diction and vocabulary, but I suck so hard at writing humour I make Stephen Hawking look like Tommy Cooper.

          In these spork-filled surroundings, however, I'm sure us newbies will improve on whatever flaws our writing may suffer from. In my case, unfortunately, I'll pretty much be required to. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

        • You're welcome. (nm) by Elorie on 2010-06-19 18:18:00 UTC Link to this
        • Re: Thanks! by anamia on 2010-06-19 17:41:00 UTC Link to this

          Traditionally, people write the scene in which their agents get to know each other/meet for the first time for their writing sample, but you don't need to. And it doesn't need to be brilliant. The permission givers just want to make certain that you have a decent grasp of the English language and can write decent characters.

          From your mention of exorcism, can I assume that you're going into DBS? It would be lovely if you were; we need more recruits.

          --anamia

          • Re: Thanks! by Simon on 2010-06-19 20:53:00 UTC Link to this

            I've been wondering about that bit actually, because as you don't scritly have permission to publish something based in the PPC-Verse yet, a sample where your agents meet doesn't fit.
            In fact, my first PPC-Fic is more likely to be my agents meeting ending as the alarm goes. (Speaking of the alarm, I want to put an unoffical claim on Sick from the Firefly 'Verse.)
            And as another aside, can someone suggest a decent second name? Damien Jet sounds slightly Stu-ish. Email me it so we don't derail this thread further XD

            • Well, if you want to get technical about it... by anamia on 2010-06-20 08:12:00 UTC Link to this

              ...then no, it's not allowed. But in practice, it's done often, and actually preferred by the permission givers because it shows that you can write in the spirit and style of the PPC. (Disclaimer: I am not a permission giver, nor have I consulted any permission givers before writing this. The views expressed are purely the result of my own observations and conclusions. Thank you.)

              --anamia

  • "Vikings. Vikiiiings." by Tawaki on 2010-06-19 17:21:00 UTC Link to this

    Of Fang and Metal » by falconstar100 reviews
    A discovery in the woods causes Hiccup and Toothless to meet an ally and be caught up in a adventure to save their island, and possibly, their planet, from their new friend's deadly foe. Post-movie. Contains spoilers.
    Crossover - Doctor Who & How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,762 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 6-2-10 - Published: 5-3-10

    My comment: Hiccup knows what a planet really is. Hiccup. Knows. What. A. Planet. Really. Is.

  • Another new mission by PoorCynic on 2010-06-19 19:30:00 UTC Link to this

    Xericka gets a little help with her first Bad Slash assignment - a Sonic the Hedgehog rape!fic - from Agent Luxury. WARNING: NSFW. Possibly NSFB, especially for anyone who dislikes groin injuries.

    http://vgdivision.livejournal.com/1552.html

    • J-pop! I like it! by anamia on 2010-06-20 15:39:00 UTC Link to this

      And Utada is a favorite of mine. -grins-

      I like Xericka a lot. She actually sounds rather like Agent Sarah, only better at it. I can only hope that she gets along better with Gremlin than she thinks she will.

      --anamia

    • Re: Another new mission by Miah on 2010-06-20 02:15:00 UTC Link to this

      That was a good mission. I liked the interactions between Xericka and Luxury.

      Why is stuff like that so frequently written? Glad you killed it.

    • Good work by TheMadMaiden on 2010-06-19 23:59:00 UTC Link to this

      Entertaining, and yet horrifying piece. I liked Xericka, an interesting character.

      I still can't believe what people do to characters XD

    • Wow! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-19 21:05:00 UTC Link to this

      I really, really enjoyed reading that. Honestly, I grinned all the way through.
      ...That makes me sound like I'm a fan of rape. Hmm.
      Quality! Xerry (sorry) is a really strong character, too ^^

  • Permission Request by Sneezier on 2010-06-19 22:00:00 UTC Link to this

    Here's my request for permission. I am so nervous.

    Agent Joseph Trevor
    Age: 19
    Home Continuum: World One
    Department: Floaters
    Species: Human
    Height: 5’ 6”
    Hair: Black
    Eyes: Green
    Weapon Preference: anything rope-like (usually chains), flails, sledgehammer
    Lust-Object(s): Kallen Kozuki (AKA Kallen Stadtfeld), Rosalina, Samus Aran.

    Appearance: A caucasian male with a usually build and normal limbs. His black hair tend to be messy and often obscures the back of his neck. His attire consists of a black worker shirt with a Floaters flashpatch, goggles (*usually on his hat), a plumber's cap, a jacket, overalls, a tool belt, and boots. He sometimes wear a leather jacket.

    Personality: Joseph is best described as a childish pervert and somewhat of a comedian. His quality of jokes may vary and they tend to be groan-worthy, especially during missions. Dispite this behavior, he's extremely good in video games and very knowledgable in gaming and anime. Many people wondered how this immature dude got into a university. When partnered with Centurio, he tends to annoy the robot, either directly or indirectly.

    Agent Centurio
    Age: 5
    Home Continuum: Superior Defender Gundam Force (Neotopia to be precise)
    Floaters:
    Species: Robot (Combat Mobile Citizen to be precise)
    Height: 4' 9'
    Hair: N/A
    Eyes: Red
    Weapon Preference: Swords, Guns
    Lust-Object(s): Angleyne, XJ9, Splash Woman.

    Appearance: He looks a lot like a short and stubby Hyaku Shiki from Zeta Gundam. Because he can't wear clothing, his body painted black with thin red strips on his arms and legs. The only clothing he wears is an army beret with the DF Flashpatch on it.

    Personality: Centurio has a persona of businessman, a spoof of robots being mindless drones. He usually acted all professional and snarky. Due to his personality, some view him as cold and uncaring but his inner campassion contradict his coldness. His fandoms are mostly fantasy oriented, which was unusual. He's secretly a Harry Potter fanboy but when people pointed it out, he tried to deny that. Sometimes, he'll make up conspiracy theories which were usually ridiculous in content. Much to his dismay, he has put up with Joseph's antics.

    My writing sample is on this link: http://sneezier.livejournal.com/602.html

    • Don't be nervous :) by Sedri on 2010-06-20 04:33:00 UTC Link to this

      Permission-getting isn't scary, I promise. Even in the worst-case scenario, that of being outright rejected with a list of areas of improvement, it's only a question of working on your problems and re-applying. We all want to give everyone Permission, you know - it's not an exclusive club.

      In any case, I'm afraid I can't give you a firm answer today as I'm in a hurry today and have no time to read your sample, but as a PG, the first thing I notice is that you have a few tense and punctuation issues in your request ("Neotopia[no comma] to be precise"; "Centurio has a persona of businessman, a spoof of robots being mindless drones. He usually acted all"), as well as one glaring typo ("campassion"), the former of which I believe has been mentioned below. This doesn't bode well. Obviously, you can't edit the post anymore, but based on this, I would hesitate to give you Permission without knowing you'll have a beta-reader to work with, at least for your first few missions.

      From what I see here in the profiles, your agents look fine; nothing too extreme and a fair amount of contrast between them, which could lead to some funny situations. My only negative-ish comment there is that I feel like I've seen these character descriptions before; is this your first Permission request? Because if so, there's someone who has very similar agents to you, and that's probably not much fun. Your agents will gain more individual quirks as you write them, of course, but at this point the most interesting thing I see is Joseph being described as a "pervert" - so perhaps you'll want to give them a little more individuality. You don't have to do so right now, though - not to get Permission. They're just fine for that.


      Sorry again that I don't have time to read your writing sample and make an official decision - I'll try to come back and do so later if no other PG steps in, but I have a busy week ahead. Feel free to nag the others or repost your request in a week or so if no one has time (or I forget - it happens) to give a proper answer.

      • Yeah, lack of edits sucks. by Sneezier on 2010-06-20 06:15:00 UTC Link to this


        Also, the tense problem is my main problem since I was a third grader. I blame on my minor form of autism which I viewed it as a curse which hindered my grammar.

        Oh, I'll add some quirks in my missions.

        • re. Tenses by Calista on 2010-06-20 08:45:00 UTC Link to this
          1. Tenses are a property of verbs; so you need to be able to pick out the verb in a sentence. If you can't do that, I suggest googling it and learning.

            2. Once you know where the verbs are, determine your tense.
            Present tense (something that's happening right now): "The cat sits on the chair."
            Past tense (something that's already happened): "The cat sat on the chair."
            Future tense (something that will happen): "The cat will sit on the chair."

            (There are also past perfect, present perfect, and future perfect tenses. They're not as important; basically, they're used for describing what has been happening at some point in time, rather than what is happening.)

            You may actually look up verbs in the dictionary. They have the tenses listed there.

            Mainly, though, at this point if you're going to write anything, you NEED a beta. It will probably take you a good few months to nail down tenses properly, especially with a learning disability in that area. It's very much like a dyslexic writer: You're going to have to learn as much as you can yourself, and then get a very good editor to catch what you can't.
          • I'd be more than happy to beta by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 09:02:00 UTC Link to this

            Feel free to contact me over LJ. I'm on summer break at the moment, so I've got quite a bit of free time. I can also help with LJ formatting as well, if you'd like.

            • Thank You very much by Sneezier on 2010-06-20 09:25:00 UTC Link to this

              Whenever I get permission sooner or later, I will need beta readers since I tend to overlook mistakes.

              My first target is a Mario Mpreg story, I kid you not.

              • Oh my. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 09:26:00 UTC Link to this

                That sounds like quite a doozy. I'll make sure to have a lot of bleeprin on hand when I beta it.

                Out of morbid curiosity, just who knocked up who in the story?

                • Luigi by Prince Peasley *headdesk* (nm) by Sneezier on 2010-06-20 09:47:00 UTC Link to this
                  • I'm not familiar with Peasley. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 09:51:00 UTC Link to this

                    What game is he in? I'm afraid I've only played Super Mario 64, Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros (Brawl and Melee), and Mario Party 8.

                    • The prince is from... by Sneezier on 2010-06-20 09:54:00 UTC Link to this

                      ...Mario & luigi: Super Star Saga, a GBA RPG game.

                      The prince is often slashed with Luigi since 2003.

                      Here's the wiki article: http://www.mariowiki.com/Prince_Peasley

                      • But it's a... bean. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 10:02:00 UTC Link to this

                        Admittedly, an odd little humanoid sapient bean with hair, but still. I can see possibly slashing Wario with Luigi, but Peasley's like a poorly caricatured version of Prince Valiant. Yeesh, what some people do for their jollies...

    • Coupla points by Eclectus on 2010-06-19 22:40:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm not allowed to give permission, but I figure there's nothing wrong with me giving a few pointers...

      In Centurio's personality description, your tense is all OVER the place. Present, past, present progressive, future, past... Sometimes in the same sentence. I'd try and work on that.

      I'm just being nitpicky here, and I don't know what they call them in Gundam, but technically the term for a robot designed like a human is an android. Centurio looks and acts like a human, therefore he is an android... and while I'm on the topic, why can't he wear clothes? I can't think of a good reason... Unless his machinery tends to overheat, or something.

      • Your right by Sneezier on 2010-06-19 22:51:00 UTC Link to this


        I'll work on that.

        In most continua of they are giant mobile suits but in Superior Defender Gundam Force. They are called robots in general or to be technical, Mobile Citizens in the Neotopia dimension. These types are human sized.

        The the reason he can't wear a jacket is because those fins on his back are in the way and those thrusters on his back and his legs can set clothing on fire. Hats and ties the only attire he can wear.

        • Ah, I see. by Eclectus on 2010-06-20 00:48:00 UTC Link to this

          Still, the PPC has some pretty epic technology goin'--someone at DoSAT could probably fix somethin' up.

          Argh. Typing with an accent. Must stop.

          I had a feeling the robot/android thing was something to do with the canon. If that's what he's called in his home continuum, then by all means use it. ^.^ I don't know anything about Gundam.

  • Beta request by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 00:48:00 UTC Link to this

    Hey, everyone. I've got my second mission written, but I was wondering if anyone would mind looking over it before I post it on my journal. I've put it up on GoogleDocs, so feel free to nitpick at it:

    http://tinyurl.com/28bb5hu

    Just please make sure to add your name in your comments.

    Thanks!

    Pretzel

    • Re: Beta request by Miah on 2010-06-21 00:50:00 UTC Link to this

      The only problem I had with this, is that I am not familiar at all with the canon, so I was often trying to figure out who was being referred to, and how they were related to each other. I had no idea that Lindsey was a teenager until the end where it said she should have been in school. I am guessing that she is the daughter of Wendy?

      I don't know how you could work in a line or two about who is who without getting into "As you know, Bob..." since both of your agents know the canon.

      I liked the interactions between Ian and Lee. The opening banter about blowing up an attacking house was great, but I did have a little trouble following who was the Sue, who were the canons and everybody's relationships to each other, which made it a little hard to fully enjoy the mission.

      • show, don't tell works here too by IndeMaat on 2010-06-21 06:09:00 UTC Link to this

        Rather than saying: Lindsey is a high-schooler, one of the agents could demand and explanation of the fic: what's she doing here? Shouldn't she be in school?

        Fic won't answer of course, but never hurts to ask.

      • Ah. by Pretzel on 2010-06-21 01:39:00 UTC Link to this

        Okay,Crash course- Lindsay is Catherine Willow's daughter, who the writers of the show tend to forget unless its either a) a throw-away line or b) crucial to the plot at the moment. They recently had an episode where she figured somewhat-heavily into the plot (a dead body was found at her high school), and she looked to be in her senior year, thus why she's in her junior year of high school in the 'Sue-fic, and therefore the mission, since the 'Sue-fic was set in 2009.

        I'm slightly confused by your second point, in that I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Erm. That may be a major fail on my part. I'm not sure.

        And thanks! I'll try to not be as confusing, but honestly, the 'Sue-fic itself was pretty darn confusing itself. The next mission deals with a relatively tame Sister-Sue in POtC, so that may be more your thing.


        Hope that helps. If not, I apologize for confusing you even further.

        Pretzel

        • Sorry about that. by Miah on 2010-06-21 04:11:00 UTC Link to this

          No, it was me using a term more particular to sci-fi writers than the general population. Apparently it goes by many names.

          http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsYouKnow

          • Ah, I see. by Pretzel on 2010-06-21 04:42:00 UTC Link to this

            Thanks for clearing that up.

    • Great stuff! by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 01:49:00 UTC Link to this

      First of all, my comments may not mean so much what with me being new, but... well.
      Ian and Lee's banter is superbly written.
      My only problem is the quotes from the fic being a bit long, though that's a problem with the fic itself, not your sense of pacing. The fic hurts me.
      I'm not a CSI fan and I enjoyed reading this, which is definitely a good sign.

      • Re: Great stuff! by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 01:52:00 UTC Link to this

        Awesome! I tried cutting down the quotes as much as possible for this 'fic, but found that I couldn't do much more than I'd already done because then the quotes wouldn't have made any sense at all instead of the just-barely-there sense that was needed.

        And by the way, comments, regardless of shiny newness of their commenter, are always welcome and appreciated.

    • Also- by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 00:49:00 UTC Link to this

      The html tags are supposed to be there; it's easier for me to put them in beforehand, so that way I can post my 'fic quicker on LJ.

  • Locational Query by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 02:07:00 UTC Link to this

    I haven't been here anywhere near long enough to post things yet, but planning is a wonderful thing. Where's the best place to post missions? Most I see are on livejournal, but I don't have an account there... does it even matter?
    Thanks.

    • There are several options by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 02:15:00 UTC Link to this

      As you've noted, there's LJ, but some people (Trojie comes to mind)have been using Dreamwidth, which is like LJ. There's also the option of using Freewebs or a similar free web site hosting service. Really, it's up to you, so long as it's accessible to everyone else. Also, whatever's easiest for you to use. LJ and Dreamwidth are free to sign up for, and they have the added bonus of allowing other people to comment on the entries, whereas a webpage might not have that option.

      • Erm... by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 02:17:00 UTC Link to this

        My apologies; Dreamwidth isn't free. You have to either been invited to join or pay to open an account there. Livejournal's the free one of the two.

        • Thanks for the help by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 02:25:00 UTC Link to this

          How about FictionPress? I'm vaguely aware that FanFiction doesn't like us, but the sister site might not mind... There's a review feature on there, as well.
          Aw, to hells with it. I'll make a Livejournal now. Cheers!

          • You're welcome. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 02:31:00 UTC Link to this

            I think that there might be a few people who have their stories/mission on FictionPress...

            And once you do make your LJ, feel free to friend me. The link's here.

            • If you don't mind... by Elemarth on 2010-06-20 15:42:00 UTC Link to this

              I'm going to friend you guys, too, because I have no LJ friends, either. I did make a LJ account just for this, but I'm also working on a Google site (that isn't up for public viewing yet) with a comment form. If that works out, anyone would be free to share it with me.

              It seems like we'd be pushing it to post on FictionPress since it's about fanfiction.

              • Indeed; it would be best to avoid FictionPress (nm) by Sedri on 2010-06-21 09:22:00 UTC Link to this
              • LJ friending by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 19:34:00 UTC Link to this

                My LJ is http://clkwrkartichoke.livejournal.com/
                Couldn't fit my full title, damnit.

              • That's fine (nm) by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 17:38:00 UTC Link to this
            • Squeee by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 02:52:00 UTC Link to this

              Thanks! I never had an online friend before.

              • Want a second? by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-20 03:30:00 UTC Link to this

                It's sour-idealist.livejournal.com.

                • Hooray! (nm) by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 04:04:00 UTC Link to this
                  • If you want more LJ friends... by Sedri on 2010-06-20 04:18:00 UTC Link to this

                    We have we have our own community over there, though to be honesty it's mostly used for cross-posting missions and the occasional Board-is-Being-Spammed-Again announcements. Anyway, most of us who have livejournal are part of that community, and generally, we don't mind being friended by fellow PPCers - though we don't always friend back. So if you want to have more 'official' online friends... :)

                    • LJ by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 04:25:00 UTC Link to this

                      I actually joined the community already; like it says there, it's better than keeping loads of bookmarks. I'll probably friend anyone I have sufficient dealings with here, rather than spamming everyone. Thanks very much, though. ^^

              • Aww. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 02:53:00 UTC Link to this

                Glad I could be your first one, then!

  • Roleplay Plug!: St Dymphna's Academy by JulyFlame on 2010-06-20 09:48:00 UTC Link to this

    St Dymphna's Academy is currently accepting new players.

    SDA, for those of you who aren't aware, is a Mary Sue Academy RP.

    What does this mean, you might be wondering?

    It means all the characters are Mary Sues or Marty Stus. In a school filled with them.

    The students of SDA are given typical Mary Sue or Marty Stu traits- but the hilarity comes from trying to play the charater straight, in the sense of accepting consequences to their behavior while at the school, or trying to make them the most Sueish or Stuish character possible- just to watch them flail in this new environment where they're no longer special, or unique.

    Indulge in creaing a one third human-fairy-elf mix who is also a OCD katana wielding cyborg, or a bewinged genius sniper princess who has something of a weight problem, or any bizarre combination you can think of.

    And then play them according to how you made them and see what happens next.

    Both student and teacher applications are being accepted until the ninth of July, and the next game semester begins on the eighth, however, I would like to stress that I would prefer student applications.

    Apping for townies- characters who live in the local town- is not restricted to this deadline.

    • Come play with us! by Techno-Dann on 2010-06-21 02:20:00 UTC Link to this

      The game is a whole world of fun. You know you want to...

    • Townies? by Firebird766 on 2010-06-20 17:12:00 UTC Link to this

      How would townies work their way to the school? Would that have to be after off-campus housing becomes available?

      *considers making one, despite having already applied for the next semester*

      • They'd be mainly in the town by JulyFlame on 2010-06-20 19:58:00 UTC Link to this

        Y'know, if someone wanted to run a store or something.

        If you'd want to have a kid end up at the school when they live in town, they'd just have to be young enough to be able to become a student.

  • Mission Plug! by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 10:23:00 UTC Link to this

    Ian and Lee kill a rather annoying Kid!Sue infecting the CSI: 'Verse in the latest of their missions.

    A slightly OT-note: I tend to read and write pretty quickly; a four-day period between "official" mission logs will probably be my vague standard at the moment, though that might change in the near future. If I'm going too fast, please feel free to tell me. I'll try to do my best with asking for betas and so on, and I always welcome con-crit of the non-flame-y type.

    • You'll get slower with time by IndeMaat on 2010-06-20 19:09:00 UTC Link to this

      I used to write missions in a few days time. It's the main reason why me posting average is still a little below once a month, even though I've only posted two missions in the past four months.

      • Good to know. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 19:14:00 UTC Link to this

        Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait and see,then. It'll probably slow down once school starts back up again in the fall, but during the summer, I'll probably be posting quite a bit.

        • By the way by IndeMaat on 2010-06-20 23:00:00 UTC Link to this

          I had read your mission in the google doc and made some comments in it, I believe before you posted it as a mission. That is, I started before you announced the mission. If I calculate the time difference correctly, my reading and commenting on the mission coincided with you posting the mission. Which explains why none of my comments or corrections was reflected / showed in the posted mission.

          So, uhm, I guess my review of this mission can be found in your google doc. ;-)

          • Right, fixed it. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 23:18:00 UTC Link to this

            So, I took into consideration what you said, and quite a bit of it made sense. I fixed what I thought were the most glaring errors- charging in front of canons, etc,- and put the revised version on LJ.

          • Oops. by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 23:06:00 UTC Link to this

            Heh. I'll take a look at it and edit as needed. That's the good thing about using LJ, I suppose; it's easy to edit stuff.

  • u kicw ur by vubawecuxwa!fnauk,xin on 2010-06-20 13:15:00 UTC Link to this

    awbs nw toye ouxa

    vubawecuxwa!fnauk,xin

    • Officially the first thread that made me laugh in ages. by anamia on 2010-06-21 20:26:00 UTC Link to this

      It's what the PPC does best: takes the incomprehensible and makes it humorous. It could almost be a real-life representation of our mission.

      --anamia

    • Overthinking things as per usual... by Edward Wilder on 2010-06-21 16:18:00 UTC Link to this

      Hey, I ran the message through an ETAOIN SHRDLU code breaker (and Google), and this is what I know/have:
      • These aren’t scrambled letters
      • It might be a substitution cipher, but probably not.
      • If it is, this is a chart of the most probable substitutions (left side = original letter, right side = possible letters it stands for).
      o U – E
      o K – N/S/H/R
      o I – N/S/H/R
      o C – N/S/H/R
      o W – T/A
      o R – D/L/U/C/M
      o A – T/A
      o B – N/S/H/R
      o S – D/L/U/C/M
      o N – O/I
      o T – D/L/U/C/M
      o O – D/L/U /C/M
      o X – O/I
      o F – D/L/U/C/M
      • Using this key, I’ve gotten nothing but gibberish so far, but I haven’t tried all the combinations yet. Any who want to try their hand at code breaking can feel free to play around with it.
      • All that said, it’s more likely a CHED (Constructed Homophonic English Dialect) than anything else, although I can’t seem to crack it. I’ve looked on Google as well and have found a number of people who seem to speak it, but refuse to talk about what the nine hells it is. These people are:
      o http://ace-duce12.deviantart.com/
      o http://www.flickr.com/people/sprytaen/
      o http://nousername08.deviantart.com/
      o http://edorisuke.deviantart.com/
      • These are all I’ve found, but there are probably others.
      EBW

      • What's a CHED when it's at home? by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-23 14:17:00 UTC Link to this

        Constructed Homophone English Dialogue doesn't mean a whole lot to me, I'm afraid.

        • Apologies... by Edward Wilder on 2010-07-02 17:10:00 UTC Link to this

          I have a bad habit of using unnecessary acronyms. It means an dialect constructed artificially (wasn't created by a natural process) based on English homophones (2 = to and too, u = you, etc). Basically it's an overly complicated way of saying leetspeek (bad spelling intended).

    • Ooh... by Elorie on 2010-06-21 11:54:00 UTC Link to this

      What is it? A troll? How cute!
      Should I call the zoo?
      And a translator would be nice.

      ... Though, on second thought, I think the Universal translator would short out on this one, and then what would Techno-Dann say? *shudder*

      Anyway... If we feed it with sleeping-drug-laced generic food, we might be able to make it sleep and get it back to where it came from, no?

      Any other ideas?

    • Hmm... *raises eyebrow* Is this...? *pokes* Yes, it is... by Sedri on 2010-06-21 06:18:00 UTC Link to this

      A Troll.

      DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE! *smack!* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE! DIE!

      Now I use you in my SOUP! You be smasheded and crushded and TWISTED and SLICED and oh, good grief, I have gone insane.

      I blame the troll.

      *smack*

    • Stand back; I will try to communicate in its native tongue. by doctorlit on 2010-06-21 03:51:00 UTC Link to this

      *Ahem*

      grst mlwe fwa dz.

      mlkto gewrwe nthf hagderbasse? usd tywe demldesed ghj!

      grttynb frdd sjwe: teksoqp.

      grtsd gxbhy mlsyt g!

      teksoqp.

      teksoqp.

      For those of you wondering, the troll initially wrote, "I can has?" I responded, "No."

      • Permission to award you an Internet? (nm) by Wide Eyed Idealist on 2010-06-23 14:15:00 UTC Link to this
        • Permission granted. (nm) by doctorlit on 2010-06-23 18:32:00 UTC Link to this
      • How can you understand it? (nm) by MAXinsanity on 2010-06-21 04:07:00 UTC Link to this
        • I am the TROLL WHISPERER. by doctorlit on 2010-06-21 04:40:00 UTC Link to this

          Although now that I look more closely, I may have responded in the wrong troll dialect.

          • *squack giggle giggle snort humfenphuffly* (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 21:18:00 UTC Link to this
          • *falls down laughing* :D (nm) by Sedri on 2010-06-21 06:14:00 UTC Link to this
    • Cleanup Log by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-21 02:50:00 UTC Link to this

      Er, I took the liberty of writing a little something concerning this.
      Sorry ^^;
      http://clkwrkartichoke.livejournal.com/538.html

      • Cool! by Elemarth on 2010-06-21 15:00:00 UTC Link to this

        I even got in it, and I hardly did anything!

        I think this has officially become my favorite message board EVER. I love you guys.

    • *pokes with a large crowbar* by PitViperOfDoom on 2010-06-21 02:48:00 UTC Link to this

      Buh? This is new. Most trolls are at least somewhat coherent. I smell a plot to achieve world domination.

      • GAH by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-21 02:53:00 UTC Link to this

        Why didn't you say that sooner? I could have put you in the thing! >.

        • You do realize you can edit things on livejournal? (nm) by Edward Wilder on 2010-06-21 16:44:00 UTC Link to this
          • I do, but it was written on a whim by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-21 21:26:00 UTC Link to this

            I'm probably not going back to it. ^^;

        • Because I just got back from hiking seven miles in the sun. (nm) by PitViperOfDoom on 2010-06-21 03:02:00 UTC Link to this
    • Nonsense. by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-20 20:01:00 UTC Link to this

      Was somebody punching the kayboard in anger, or what?

      If it's a bot, it's a very bad one.

    • *pokes with a big stick* by Silikat on 2010-06-20 19:21:00 UTC Link to this

      Make sense! I order you to make sense!

    • Am I the only one who thought 'secret message'? by Clockwork Artichoke on 2010-06-20 17:54:00 UTC Link to this

      It means... absolutely nothing.
      Huh.

      • I did! by anamia on 2010-06-21 20:22:00 UTC Link to this

        And I spent a while trying to decipher it before sadly giving up on my conspiracy theory.

        --anamia

      • Nope. You're not. (nm) by Eclectus on 2010-06-20 18:34:00 UTC Link to this
    • Oooh, a trolly spammy thing. *pokes with spork* by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-06-20 16:55:00 UTC Link to this

      Burny!

    • Oh, come on now. by Vixenmage on 2010-06-20 16:11:00 UTC Link to this

      You could at least try to be entertaining annoying. I mean, we couldn't even write a Dissertation on this!

    • ... by MAXinsanity on 2010-06-20 13:58:00 UTC Link to this

      Whoever posted this is either:

      A. A troll, and an obvious one at that

      B. Under the effect of several substances

      C. Crazier than me

      • Oh, I know! by Pretzel on 2010-06-20 17:43:00 UTC Link to this

        Or maybe it was D) whoever it was was severely sleep deprived. Like staying-up-for-three-days-to-study-for-finals sleep deprived.

        That said, can I thwap it with my Frying Pan of DOOMTM anyways?

      • LOL by Elemarth on 2010-06-20 15:36:00 UTC Link to this

        I agree.

  • Possible continuuum destruction spotted! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-20 14:13:00 UTC Link to this

    If somebody here can read french (and i'ts brave enough... it's made of something like more than fifty chapters, plus extra materials like animated .gif), I found what it has the opportunity of being some EXTREME canon-disrupting mega crossover. (I cannot read French well, so I didn't read it.)

    http://senshilegend.free.fr/

    It feaures characters from Card Captor Sakura, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, Megaman NT Warrior, Pokemon, Digimon, and a lot other canons... all turned into Sailor Moon lookalikes.

    Bring plenty of canon material, candles, bells and plenty of Bleeprin.

    • If I can help, just tell me at my fanfic account. this=bad (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-06-24 21:16:00 UTC Link to this
    • Gods... by anamia on 2010-06-20 16:47:00 UTC Link to this

      I read French, but I don't know any of the continua save for Card Captor Sakura. However, I am more than willing to make myself available for translation purposes, should anyone get around to writing a mission of the thing.

      --anamia

      • Maybe i'll take it by Sergio Turbo on 2010-06-21 09:34:00 UTC Link to this

        I did not ask for permission yet (my "rookie month" isn't over yet), but maybe I'll take it, if you make a short summary-translation of it. Not as first work (I've found another one that would be a perfect first mission), but messing around with Sakura and Nanoha is surely something I cannot forgive...

    • On a similar note... by MAXinsanity on 2010-06-20 14:31:00 UTC Link to this

      Anyone seen FaCe ThE StRaNgE yet? It's probably a troll, but...

      Here's the link: http://xdallyx.webs.com/

      And here's the description, ripped right from the site:

      "When Dally Darkblood, a vampire Ravenclaw, goes to Hogwarts, with her best fren, Edward Cullen, and then Hiei, things began to get intresting. Shadow the Hegehog comes and then Dumbleddore turns out to be not so good after ale. With the asstence of close friends and family and a lil wizard magic, Hogwarts will be sale fo the students once more..."

      I'd say "enjoy", but that wouldn't be applicable for this wreck.

      • I'd volunteer to take this on... by ObscurumAeterna on 2010-06-21 16:49:00 UTC Link to this

        ...but I'd probably end up suffering a Bleeprin OD within ten chapters. I'd rather not have to pay FicPsych a visit after my first mission.

        Indeed, perhaps it'd be best to leave this catastrophe to more experienced Agents.

      • I could make a crude joke about the Gulf of Mexico... by Eclectus on 2010-06-20 16:32:00 UTC Link to this

        because that's a literary disaster almost as bad. But the Gulf spill is a very serious matter, and in that case Jokes Are Bad.

        But my point stands--I can't make head nor tail of that summary. I mean... Sue, Twilight, Yu Yu Hakusho, Sonic, something about alcohol, and who ever said anything about Hogwarts being unsafe in the first place? You can't fix a problem if it doesn't exist.

        And augh, the poor commas. T.T

      • Always a bad sign when the summary creates minis. (nm) by doctorlit on 2010-06-20 15:19:00 UTC Link to this

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