When you post these sorts of links, it'd help if you could note the fandom in your subject line, or at least in the post. I was all prepared to read it, until I found it was for a fandom I don't know :(

(Don't worry about not doing so this time, though - half the people on this board don't. I just tend to nag everyone ;) )

Fellow newbie here! And welcoming you to what I hope will be a nest of like-minded people. If like-minded means "utterly insane nerds".

No offense meant to any poor souls who think "nerd" is an insult. Nerd pride!

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a bag of giant peanuts.
What are your favorite anime?

I had this up before, but Firefox froze and I lost what I had written. I will try to reproduce it accurately below.

I hope you will forgive the out-of-country (for me) greeting—it just seemed to be the best way to respond. We seem to have similar interests; I love writing (my portfolio is rather pitiful, though—only two short stories), find RPing fun (despite not being actively involved in anything—do you know any good, online, communities?), and enjoy creating video games (I just can't seem to get past the quarter-way mark). I do have to say, however, that video game and literary fandoms are my favorites. I haven't spent much time finding any anime I love. [Gift moved—check bottom of post]

I can't understand C++, and Flash seems too image-oriented for me. I enjoy working in C variants, though, and am currently coding with VERGE, and have used AGS in the past. Have you heard of either of those programs?

Anyway, take a bladed yo-yo. It can be used to cut through tangled coding and annoying Sues, after you learn to use it. And, no, it is not inspired by doctorlit's Razor Boomerang.

Have some nicely sharpened pencils, good for writing or fighting. I promise they won't break.

*pokes*

Hm, fan games, eh? Maybe when you've been around a while you can produce the next PPC computer game. {= )

Also, despite what others have said, I wouldn't worry about the Spy. It's probably just someone from the Department of Intelligence.

~Neshomeh

*bathes everything in fire between muffled shouts of spyyyy!*

*Says a muffled welcome, requests medic, and hands Candescence a Cadian pattern lasgun*

Have a stuffed toy that explodes when thrown!

Here, have some electro glue, it's a shocker when you apply it on sues.

Have a Razor Boomerang (watch your fingers when you catch it)!

You say you're a fan game maker. Do you make flash games, or are you a ROM hacker? Or something else impressive I've never even heard of?

Feed it only Generic Meat.

You may have it to eat, or in the face - up to you ;)

Lovely to meet you!

Enjoy this six pack of Bonk! energy drink as a complimentary welcoming gift.

Taken from the finest bishounen and perfect for decorating!



Please use responsibly. Contact your doctor if you show any of the following symptoms after using this product: nausea, migraines, unusual rashes, unusual hair or eye color, the development of extra finger or limbs, the disappearance of any fingers or limbs, paralysis, compulsions to endlessly watch anime, seizures, or death.

I gift you with a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat with Shakespearean lineage.

Have a Mary Poppins Carpetbag, you'll need it!

Welcome! Here's your very own Frying Pan of Doom^tm, useful for clocking 'Sues and 'Stus over the head, as well as cooking. Alton Brown, master of multi-tasking in the kitchen, would approve.

Also, here's a highly useful list of Official Links for you to peruse:

So, in relative order of sensible-reading-ness, there are...

* The Original PPC Series (A MUST read, and one I'm assuming you've already done, since you've gotten this far)

The Board:

* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:

* The PPC Wiki (which you've hopefully already seen)
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* The Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Enjoy!

Hmm, first time I've said that. Hello, newbie! Don't worry, the spy is most likely a PPCer who ran out of Bleeprin.
Have a pet tabby cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Spy sappin' mah sentry!

Fair winds!

Nice to meet you. Have a lovely set of polyhedral, random number generators.

By the way, you didn't have to point at me like that.

-Barid

Welcome to the Board! I offer you this sparkly rock. It makes a lovely paperweight, and may also be used as a projectile weapon or as emergency punctuation.

Someone will be around shortly to give you The Links. I do hope you enjoy your time with us!

--anamia

By spy, do you mean an agent for the League of Mary Sue Factories, capable of throwing Agents OOC?

Nice to meet you! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Welcome to the Board! Please have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly!

I know nothing about Fruits Basket, but as seems to happen so often with badfic, I didn't need to in order to see how messed up the story was. {= P

I would have liked more details about how the so-called ice dancing was messed up in the fic, though. I am personally interested, but there's also the "show, don't tell" principle. For instance, it really worked toward the end when you included that ridiculous jump. Ouch!

There are a few minor errors I spotted, but I could only find two of them again, toward the end:

1. "With both of them actively paying attention, it world could not help but react"; I assume you meant "the world could not help but react."

2. "With them exorcises, the rest should snap back." Should be "With them exorcised."

Otherwise, I found your agents really interesting. I hope they can resolve their differences. Right now there's enough bad attitude between the two of them to asphyxiate a canary.

~Neshomeh

Haha, tore the fic apart like paper. Nice way of dealing with the affected canons, too. Excellent work!

Well done! I liked how you dealt with the Sue.

I enjoyed it very much.

-Barid

If not, I got dibs! Mine!

Pending Permission, of course...

*insert Tadkeeta's profanity-laden rant in A DIOM Fanfic here*

You know, Sues with pretentions to divinity should be thrown in the Tash.

She didn't even get the opening lyrics right. I know that song - it's from The Magic Sword: Quest For Camelot. It's a nice song. She's mangled it. The lyrics are in the CD cover. Bah.

At least the grammar isn't too painful. Whoever takes it won't be ducking falling granite commas.

Two bad fics, one with a [b]human daughter[/b] of Aslan with an improbably large sword, and infects two stories in a row? I think she deserves a double death for that alone.

As far as I know, not many Narnians know about the wardrobe the Pevensies used to--darn, how do you say this--"hop" to Narnia.

If that's correct, then how the fratz did she learn of it? Her so-called "dad" didn't contact for over a century, according to the story.

... have a tendancy to come out as Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral. While the PPC as a whole can probably be classed as Lawful, the individuals within it are highly Chaotic. At least, so it seems to me.

hS

As in we're good guys using Chainsaws.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChainsawGood

In some of the more extreme cases we find Omnicidal Neutral
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OmnicidalNeutral

Yeah, TV Tropes is great for this.

In my opinion, alignment is very dependent on one's perspective. Some people may think they're doing good, but are actually causing more harm, and likewise an "evil" character might actually be doing more good than bad. It all depends on how you see yourself, and how others see you, as well as your actions, which are even more important. If you end up killing a bunch of (insert sentient species here), of course they're going to think you're evil, you just slaughtered them! Likewise, if you help them out instead, they're going to like you more and percieve you as "good".

That's my two (insert fictional currency here) on the thought.

An alignment is simply a label you can put onto a character after you have created him and evaluated him. It does not determine his behavior; his personality determines his behavior. It can change as the character changes. And its only purpose, other than being shorthand for describing a character's code of ethics (or lack thereof), is to determine how spells affect him, which afterlife he goes to, and whether or not he shows up on the Detect Alignment radar.

This has been a public service message from the Committee for the Prevention of D&D Cliches. Thank you for your time.

:P

Just from what I've seen so far, I'd qualify the PPC organization as more Lawful Neutral than anything else. While the agents themselves may do a lot of chaotic things from time to time, they are doing it in order to preserve literary order. Whether a Sue is good or evil doesn't matter into it; they are disturbing the stability of reality and so must be removed.

Individual agents are probably all over the spectrum, except maybe for Chaotic Evil. Maybe.

It depends who - the more bloodthirsty Agents would be different to the peaceful ones, for example.

Probably closer to Good than Evil, but we're hardly saints and no one's going to pretend otherwise.

Volunteering... probably not, considering that perfectly well-tested jetpacks exist in various continua and can just be swiped. In general - I don't think there's much in the way of 'volunteering' done, but if a particular agent is interested in developing gadgets, maybe. Why do you ask?

Laburnum and Foxglove, for example, I'd peg as Chaotic Neutral and smart enough to realise it, so they joined an organisation which could direct their less Good urges to a useful cause.

I'd guess Skyfire started out in VQ as Lawful Neutral, then switched to Lawful Good after she discovered exactly how far Longclaws was willing to go on the Evil spectrum. Now she's the Morality Chain for the rest of my gang.

Stormsong ... hard to say, but I'd peg him as True Neutral. He didn't really seem to object to what the Nighthunt were doing until they started doing it to HIM, and now he's mostly a decent guy but was willing to Cruciate a Sue (who admittedly had just made him spend two days transformed into a woman).

Molly is probably too young to tell the difference between Evil and Neutral, but she's undeniably Chaotic.

While, yeah, we're trying to preserve order in the various continua, we're Chaotic something-or-other. Neutral, probably.

Because according to TVTropes, "Chaotic Neutral characters do whatever the hell they like and damn the consequences". We're random, and we're often unpredictable. Yes, we've got kind hearts, but...

Some people want to be PPC Agents just so they can protect their Lust Objects. Now, I'm not saying everyone is, but I know part of the reason I want permission is to go in and beat the stuffing out of the Sue if she even dares bash mine. Or kiss him.

Some are Heroic Sociopaths, others are Cloud Cuckoolanders, and still others are...dunno, but it's not easy to classify a whole bunch of PPC-ers by TVTropes.

So there you have it. Building upon the previous essay.

It's a matter of self-preservation on the part of the Flowers. They're trying to stop the multiverse from going kablooie because it happens to be where they live. That's something anybody would do. However, rather than just nuking everything from orbit (which would accomplish the same purpose by destroying the plot holes and the continuums along with them, preserving World One), the PPC goes in and takes out the Sue specifically, which means they're taking pains not to destroy things if they don't have to (evil wouldn't care).

Apparently they used to just blow things up, but they don't now; so you can make an argument that the PPC used to be evil but has gradually moved away from using self-preservation to justify genocide. Over the years, things have changed so that CAFs are sometimes rescued, ex-Sues can become agents, and mpreg babies and Suespawn are saved. It's gone from wholesale destruction to surgical strikes against the Sue, and only when the Sue can't be redeemed.

In a very real way, the agents are protecting the continua from the Flowers, since without the agents the Flowers would still be blowing stuff up... but as it is, there's a balance.

Of course, individual agents (and individual Flowers, for that matter) can have different motivations. There have definitely been good and evil individuals in both groups. Agents tend to be recruited more often from the antagonist side than the protagonist's, because Sues are often the protagonist and the antagonist already doesn't mind killing her; but antagonist doesn't equal evil.

Of course, ask an Agent who just got bleepfic on their Console, and you'll get an answer of "EVIL!" every time...

...but is the debate on the new Department over? The posting just sorta stopped when I said I could maybe do a remake of the A/V division. I don't know if I was unclear - I probably was, knowing me, sorry - but what I meant by that was that I could do it if the Department didn't go through. But so far, I haven't got a concise "yes" or "no" as to the new Department.

I do have a compromise. Maybe I could write a couple of missions for the new Department, on a trial basis. Like, the Flowers have disagreed on the best way to deal with a division like this, so they've made a temporary Department which will police songfics until they've made a decision. It might also give everyone a better idea of where this is going, and where a division like this would belong.

Would that work?

Whatever it ends up being classified as, I am very glad that someone is willing to tackle these awful things. I am sure somewhere out there, there is a good songfic...but I haven't found it yet.


(totally irrelevant and off-topic, but I just now finally watched Avatar! Great movie!)

I like it. Your agents are a nice contrasting pair and your writing sample made me chuckle. I don't know a thing about Kryptonians but you explained every relevant detail without bogging down the narrative, and that's not only hard to do but often entirely neglected, so I particularly applaud you for that. Well done.

One tiny, probably entirely irrelevant thing:
to make sure her thumb is tucked under her fingers when she punches someone
You mean that the thumb is pressed against the outside of the knuckles and pulled out of the way, right? Not tucked inside the fingers? I did TKD for years and the one thing my teachers always said is that if you have your thumb wrapped up in your other fingers when you punch, you're going to break it. Just want to make sure.

That said, go forth and write! (Well, once the debate of the songfic department is over...) Welcome to the PPC! :D

While I'm not a PG, I think you've got great agents there, and the they seem fun from the sample.

Personally, while I do agree in general general basis in regards to the whole 'semi-moratorium on new departments', I don't think the idea of a bad songfic department is a bad one, and could be interesting; it's just a matter of what others think.

That said, I do think that as a 'badfic' type there are enough out there that it could be relevant (as much as anything here is) and a possible department on its own, with no need to be put under Floaters or be an aspect of the A/V Division.

The PPC (as a collective) is not very big on starting new departments. There must be really something special that can't be covered in any of the other departments (and note that there is a department of floaters which can pretty much carry the label miscellaneous). I do think, however, that songfic may be special enough to have its own department.

If the new department gets a pass (from permission givers and/or the PPC board) I know an author in A-Team fandom that writes mainly inapproriate songfics (2007 songs in a fic that is set in 1983, for instance). Knowledge of A-Team fandom not required; the author doesn't seem to know it either.

It also helps that I very much am a fan of Left 4 Dead. Both games. This'll be entertaining.

Actually, I have two, the first being: may I borrow the male intern from your introductory piece? And the second question is: may I name him Frances?

Thanks,
--anamia

As I mentioned, good work! Excellent mission, and awesome kill method. I imagine the Karma Charger got to that sue.

I love Danny and Laura. They're so much fun together. And it was nice to see Laura's gentler side for once.

People who don't do research make me mad. Google is a lovely tool and more people should learn how to use it. -sigh-

--anamia

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here is some peanut butter.

I agree that the Star Wars EU is a ridiculous mass of info to keep track of. It's almost a shame SW is so popular, because of all the franchising it suffers from.

Anyway, have a lightsaber cheese slicer (pocket sized for convenience and, yes, blatantly stolen from Family Guy) and a cooked leg of Gamorrean to feed to Anikin.

Have a calculator. A sentient calculator. That will sing K-pop whenever you turn it on. :)

and welcome to the PPC!

I think similarly about original characters, with the additional explanation that you can have a lot more fun with a character you create yourself, because you don't have to stay within a pre-designed template. Neither do I go out of my way to include romance in anything I write. If it seems to be something that would develop between two characters, great! Otherwise, there's not much reason to include it, and even less of a chance that it would be believable.

I also find bad grammar, spelling, etc. increasingly annoying, and usually story-breaking flaws. For example, in a story I recently read (published, even!), the author used incorrect grammar in two out of two Spanish sentences. I was stuck at that part for over a quarter of an hour, and that's with only a year of Spanish!

I'm afraid I can't help you find the Star Wars OFU, or tell you anything that happened in it—it was way before my time. I will agree with what other people have said about your last question: the PPC deals with bad writing, not Mary Sues.

Oh, and, as you can tell, I also have a tendency to write long posts.

It's metallic and twice as long as your arm. Very useful weapon.

Always good to see a new face :)

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Have a container of exotic matter. It has negative gravity. Remember to keep it away from wormholes...

No, Implausible Crossovers don't have to have a Mary Sue; nor does bad slash; nor do fics targeted by SIELU or the Department of Technical Errors. In general, if it's bad writing and it's a fanfic, the PPC can target it. Even trollfics and bad parody have a department. The PPC started out with Mary Sues, of course, but there are more sources of wild, uncontrolled, continuum-destroying plotholes than just the usual glittery girls and their drooling, squeeing, glomping fangirl ways. :)

If you still have some of your old badfic, incidentally, you could PPC your own stories once you get permission to write spinoffs. Some of us have done that.

Welcome, Newbie! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

May it inspire you to new heights.

This strange object can be either a polearm or a carnivorous freshwater fish, depending on which you want it to be!

I'm a newbie with a passion for writing, myself. Heh, I end up welcoming another newbie within such a short time after coming here. But anyway. When it comes to my fanfiction, I really like both canon characters and OCs, though I don't mind doing a fic without one or the other. Improving my writing skills is also something I want to achieve as well.

Also, you're a history buff (well, you're a college history student, so...)? Haha, me too! I'm most interested in the Aztecs and Elizabethan England, personally.

In any case, welcome to the board, fellow newbie!

Here, have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Please enjoy this silk headband as a welcoming gift.

Hallo!


Welcome to the board. ^^

There's no problem with taking your time to get into the PPC before you dive head first in asking for permission and stuff; generally, we love it when you wait beyond the initial suggested month to get used to everything and everyone here.

If you haven't seen it yet, we have a wiki here . You might be interested in the pages under the "PPC Intro Pages" section, such as the Guide to the PPC, and the FAQ: For Newbies which will answer a lot of your questions. ^^

We've also got a chatroom here which you are welcome to join if you're interested in chatting with a few of us in moderately almost real time. (This is an open invite to anyone else interested, as well).

All in all, again, welcome, hope you enjoy your time here, and try to not spam the board with multiple posts if there's stuff you're wondering about.

I'm another person who's kinda here to improve their writing ability, and I like making characters, too.

Aside from that, not much for me to say.

Fair winds!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly.

Fair winds!

Enjoy this collector's edition tin of Spam as a welcoming gift.

Welcome to the board! Have some chocolate and enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here are some Magic Pants.
...I say "iunno" too. Interesting.

Welcome, welcome! By Adams, do you mean Douglas Adams?
Have a pet cat, you may name her whatever you wish.

Here, one of the Hypometric Weapons from Revelation Space 'Verse. (Note, only use in extreme circumstances, the danger to yourself is usually not worth the risk)

Before I fade back on to TV Tropes and the PPCWiki, I'll say this: I really need to work on the name.

Catch you all later!

Here, have a mechanical dagger that automatically tracks Sues and kills them! Kinda like a homing missile.

Feed it only Generic Meat.

Welcome to the PPC. Since you have an eclectic taste in music, have an eclectic guitar. I think it will suit you.

You never know when you will need a pineapple. Treat it with absolute seriousness.

Unlike everything else around here ;)

Nice to meet you. Welcome!

*pokes*

It's traditional. {= )

Now, the aforementioned links. The first one, of course, is to the Original Series. If you haven't read it, that is the first thing you should do, since it's what this whole glorious panoply is based on.

Second, if you are so inspired that you want to write your own PPC spin-off, you need to find out how to get Official Permission to do so.

After that, there are several pages on the PPC Wiki and elsewhere that contain useful and important information. In order of sensible reading-ness, as Sedri says, they are:

* The PPC Board Constitution, because it's Da Rules;
* The Board FAQ if you're not quite sure how to use this quaint old thing;
* The Guide to the PPC,
** FAQ for Newbies,
and eventually the
** Mission Writing Guide, written by Sedri with support from the Board.

You may also eventually be interested in Trojie's Slash-Sporking Guide if that's your thing.

If you wish to edit the wiki at any point, you should definitely check out my new Editing Tutorial.

And, of course, you should check out as many PPC spin-offs as possible. The Complete List of PPC Fiction and the List of Killed Badfic are good places to start.

And that is quite enough to be going on with. Welcome!

~Neshomeh

They're very 'splody. And they shoot sparks when on fire!

Hello, and welcome to the Board. Here's a Frying Pan of DOOM^tm and a freshly baked batch of quite yummy vegan chocolate-oatmeal cookies. I'm sure someone will be around with the Official List of Links for you sometime soon. In the meantime, enjoy those cookies!

It just looks so bad. I'm not actually going to even OPEN the page.

Bleeprin, now! And if i'm going to need bleeprin even before being an agent... well... goodbye, mental sanity!

No, just no.*bangs head on the wall*

Chapter 1: Hey look! Survivor's Guilt!
Chapter 2: "the bosom of Mr Smith". Some marking of shifts in PoV would be good. And some Harmonianism. Fun, at least I think it is.
Chapter 3: " when I can be an Auror in a few months without them" WHAT?! The whole point of the Interview in OOTP was about what NEWTS to take in order to become an Auror. Even killing Voldemort wouldn't cause them to drop their standards by that much.
And of course, let's not forget that Dumbledore is an EVIL man.

And that's all I can handle for now. I pity the person who takes this on.

This sounds absolutely hi-larious. I must read it. Stay tuned for Nakkel's interesting commentary!

... Nobody cares, anyway.

Wait, 24 chapters? NO! LET ME OUT! LET ME GO I MADE A MISTAKE

That...oh, god...

I hope it's just a parody. If it is, it's done its job of scaring the fratz out of me.

It's been a while, though, so I've forgotten most of the details. The one thing I do remember is that it was well written, even if the plot was slightly odd. I'm not going to second the nomination for Bleepfic because I don't have time to read it again, but I do see your point on plot-killing. The whole Hermione Crouch thing was strange. And disturbed. -sighs- On the other hand, I really do like some of the author's other work, notably the Garden Gate one and the one about the painting Lily.

Anyway, I have my own nomination to put forward.

The story is called Platinum and Diamonds, and it thinks it's a Harry/Draco slashfic. I say thinks because the author has apparently chosen to create a new species, as far as I can tell, of magical creatures called concubines. It's inherited. Draco is one. Because ages ago, a Malfoy mixed his blood with a concubine to increase the beauty of the family. Concubines must be owned, thus Narcissa basically sells Draco to Harry, of all people, to save him from Lucius. -sigh-

To make matters worse (though I can't see how you'd need to), this entire thing seems to be an excuse for the author to include constant scenes of Lucius and his 'cronies' raping Draco. Graphically. It also features Lucius calling his son 'it.'

So, to sum up, we have an uncanonical and highly disgusting species of magical creature, Lucius abusing his son in a graphic and disgusting manner, Narcissa handing Draco over to Harry for no reason that I can see save that the author wanted this to be H/D, Draco calling Harry master even though being a concubine has never before altered his thought process, and Harry seeming to be okay with the whole owning Draco thing. -headdesk. repeatedly. wanders off in search of something a whole lot stronger than bleepka.-

As an aside, this is the first mission undertaken by Sarah and Elaina, and one of the reasons for the tension between them. When I finally finish writing it (it's taking forever because I can't deal with the 'fic long enough to kill it), I hope things will make more sense.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5510372/1/Platinum_and_Diamonds

--anamia

...is Neville getting killed by a flamethrower. Because A) Neville has been through enough already, and B) why is there a flamethrower in Harry Potter?

That's quite a rant. You've most effectively scared me off ever reading it. Ouch.

Also, interesting shorthand; "S/h/it" - was that intentional? These are the times I long for the number-neutral "they" to be commonplace...

Welcome to the PPC! Take a giant bladed yo-yo (currently being nominated for Most Underwhelming Weapon!) to go for your mecha. And, yes, that is a large part of the PPC. Just be a bit careful with that, though—we don't want our agents becoming too strong. There's no fun in an easy mission.

Hi! I'm a newbie, too. Have a lightsaber. Choose your color.

Feed it only Generic Meat!

Hello! Have a secenteen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly.

So fresh, you can smell the tannery! Please do not throw it at anything, as there may or may not be an explosive hidden within it.

Fair winds and have a nice trip here!

Enjoy these Really Cool Shades (TM) as a welcoming gift.

Have some somewhat threatening, moderately powerful sci-fi weaponry from a vaguely well-known fandom.

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a bag of sound effects. Don't let them ouuuuuuuuuuuuut...

Poking newbies is traditional. Of course it isn't meant to bruise. *poke*

Among other traditions, many of them crazy, we have an ever-growing list of Links that we throw at all newbies in the hopes that they will be read. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are ...

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC


It's nice to meet you. :)

Simon, eh? Other people have epic usernames, and you pick Simon? Genius!
Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish. Sorry, I ran out of sci-fi weaponry.

It's a good thing I'm not handing out bolters 'cause I'd have ran out a long time ago. Here's your cadian lasgun. I'm gonna need to break into the armory to equip all of you...

Yet another new recruit to our ranks. *happydance* Here's your official Frying Pan of Doom^TM and some chocolate-covered almonds. Enjoy.

Why, hello there, Simon! You remind me of this guy from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann...

So, have a mecha! A giant mecha! That shoots really hot stuff!

It's not our policy to tell authors we are criticising their work, and we make a point of only ranting about the content of stories, not the writers.

A question, though; you said "we worked out the Turin issue" - do you mean you're her beta-reader?

…so where would be the best place to give relevant data on his native 'verse (genre, complete breakdown of missing Hartnell and Troughton episodes and B&W Pertwee episodes as of when he signs up, etc.), as well as which binders he has on him when he boards the TARDIS?

I'm surprised there hasn't been a Doctor Who OFU already. Thanks for filling the gap and supplying something that the fandom greatly needs.

…strangely missing from the form:

Do you have any favorite characters?
Appearance:
Have you been to an OFU before?

Does one need to register to be able to read the GFU? All I can see when I click your link is introductions, and no way to actually get to the first prologue (nothing clickable showing when I hover).

I have always wanted an OFU for Doctor Who! How do you apply? I want to jump on this bandwagon ASAP!

(I mean, after filling out the form in Samantha's prolouge, where do you put it?)

Oh, hey, question- would you like to use my PPC agents that I'm going to be writing in my main missions once I get Permission? I'd be more than happy for them to be background characters/ NPCs for you. That is, if that's okay with the Permission Givers, etc. I get to ask for Permission next week, so hopefully it won't cause too much trouble...

I could be mistaken, but as far as I know you still need Miss Cam's permission to write an OFUM spin-off, and you don't mention having it. Her e-mail is camilla.sandman@gmail.com.

~Neshomeh

I like it. As a quick aside, I think freewebs might only let you have 20 pages, though I can't remember for certain.

Anyway, I'm curious as to how you'll structure your OFU. Will all eleven incarnations of the doctor be there? -grins- That would be quite fun.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading more!
--anamia

I once saw a mission in which a Sue's name was mis-spelled, creating a Mini-Sue which the Agents instantly shot.

1 is definitely a mini. However, I would say that precedent suggests that the answer to #2 is no.

The main reason for this is that minis are OFU things, not PPC things, and there would be no point in mini-Sue-things turning up at the OFUs. Also, since Sues are defined by a source outside the canon, then they can be defined and re-defined however that source chooses without the canon having to be bothered about it. Canon characters, on the other hand, are defined internally, so if an outside source doesn't invoke the character properly, the canon isn't going to supply said character. Kinda like a bad HTML tag.

However! This does not stop you from having funny things result from a misspelled Sue name. I just don't think it's going to be a mini. At least, not in the same way misspelled canon names are.

~Neshomeh

1) Yes, that's a mini. They are about half the height of the usual minis. At least, that's the case with mini-Deckers. I've picked up a few of these minis (face and stockwell).

2) I'm actually surprised this has never come up before, considering how bad at spelling Suethors usually are.

3) Since you'd probably be the first to spot a Sue-mini on a mission, you get to decided how much like a regular mini or like a Sue it is.

As a side note, if I don't feel like coming up with a funny situation surrounding a mini, I don't bother mentioning a mini was created. I don't believe all minis should be saved from badfic; they should be saved when it's funny. A Sue-mini for instance, could be saved at first (with the agents arguing what they are going to do about it), but be lost in the end because it tried to save the Sue and took a bullet for her.

1) I think it would be a mini.

2&3) I think it is a mini and I like the idea of it being pink and glittery. I don't know if it has to be the same as a mini from the continuum that you are in, but I think it could lead to some humor if it is. Imagine a mini-Sue!Balrog (A beast of glitter and eye-shadow?). It would be interesting to say the least.

-Barid

There are times when I've felt it was spurious, especially in cases where the expression in question was something in common, every-day use.

However, as others have pointed out, it can be incredibly funny to take figurative language literally, and we ARE a parody society. There are certain times you almost have to laugh at it if you're really paying attention. In the case of speech tags, it may be all well and good to write something like: "'Stop that right now,' he barked." The problem happens when the writer gives us something like: "Stop that right now.' He barked." Improper punctuation takes a perfectly good speech tag and turns it into something laughable because the connection between the speech and the descriptor is lost, forcing the figurative language to stand alone and giving the sensitive reader no choice but to read it as written. Cue people barking like dogs.

Another example is something from one of my newer missions: "A skirt, bright with swirls of emerald, violet and royal blue floated around the floor, stopping at the toes of black boots." Now, you and I know that the writer MEANT to say the skirt floated around the wearer's feet, but the fact is that the writer did not say that. The writer said it floated around the floor. For humor, I took that to mean the skirt actually floated around the floor, leaving the character's lower half uncovered. ^__^ Also, one of my agents picked up the stray skirt, which to this day will always come to a halt if there are black boots in its path. {= )

So, yes, criticizing figurative language can be taken too far, but I say if the writer isn't using it properly it's fair game.

~Neshomeh

I understand what you are saying. It isn't that we are overly critical of figurative language. I use it often myself. What we may have a problem with is a paragraph that is all about how someone looks or sounds that is so full of figurative language that you aren't even sure what it is about anymore.

Consider, for a moment, that every time a character speaks the word "chirped" is used. Wouldn't a character who only seems to chirp (and they chirp often) become a bird in your mind?

When we make figurative language seem ridiculous in a mission, we are simply saying that the fic has broken the rules of the word world to the point that the world is taking every word literally. It makes a mission funnier, especially if our agents say something that they soon regret.

I hope this helps clear things up.

-Barid

The thing with figurative language though is that there is only so much you can squash in. Too much of it, and you end up with purple prose and something that's nigh impossible to read. At the same time, metaphors and similes can also be a bit of a crutch when you're writing when you start to rely on overused ones.

My personal stance on it is 1) Too much figurative language can kill the actual writing, 2) using this sort of thing in missions helps to emphasise to readers that some thought should go into it, and also that 3) missions are supposed to be funny, which is where having someone turn into a tiger temporarily while fighing because the Words Said So comes into play.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Aussi, voici un bifteck.

I was going to give you a Bengal Tiger, but it will just eat the parrot.

There was also much glee at the Asimov and Abhorsen mentions (and, of course, LOTR, but that's practically a given 'round these parts).

I hereby give you a Harris's Hawk and a miniature dragon (particular breed of your choice), and, per your request, a large quantity of beefsteaks. (And also beefsteak tomatoes, in case that's what you actually meant. I take no chances.)

Also, a towel and several pounds of chocolate.

I look forward to having you around. ^^

Fair winds!

Welcome to the PPC! As a welcome gift I present you with a bag of pebbles (good for throwing at annoying things) and a Random Shiny Object (good for distracting things with (although said things may include yourself - beware!)).

Hail, o fellow LOTR fan! :D

I'm glad to see that you're joining up. It's nice to meet someone capable of posing us a challenging question without being nasty about it. ^^

Yay, another Temeraire fan! I've only read the first three books, and I'm eager to see more of the actual war happen, oddly enough--I'm in no way a war buff, but the Sharpe series made me interested in this particular one. ... And now I have a crossover plotbunny gnawing my ankle...

Ahem. Anyway, also yay for Asimov! It's been a while since I read the Foundation series, but it's awesome. I haven't read his other series, though.

I'm the same way about Favorites--in fact, I made a point of including it as a category along with Lust Objects on the PPC Agent infobox on the wiki. It has confused people. I'm glad there are some who get it. ^^

So, welcome!

~Neshomeh

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting board! Have some chocolate, I guess. And for your birds, some birdseed!

Here, take these Vaugely Explained Sci-Fi Weapons. Now with 100% more explodyness.

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.
(Be careful - she may eat the parrots!)

Welcome to the PPC!Here is a near-infinite capacity weightless Bag of Holding, perfect for carrying all the various stuff your Agents will ever need or that which they pick up through their travels. Also, some Generic Parrot feed for your parrots. Enjoy!

Unfortunately, giving you one doesn't seem quite like a PPC-style gift, so I'll have to settle with giving you a parrot-patterned bladed yo-yo. psst...try twisting it apart, and don't break the e—akk!

The following is dictated by Goldenrod111, following his unexplained neck injury:

I recently started the Temeraire series and just finished Sabriel, and love both! I have never read anything by Asimov, though.

I have a similar opinion of characters. There are several I'd want to meet, but to learn something, not romantically.

Finally, are those beefsteaks being handed out? Randall's looking over my shoulder, drooling.

Nice to meet you! Always good to see a new face.

It seems I've managed to jump in ahead of the other members of Link-Giving crowd this time, so I am particularly happy to present you with...

(drumroll, please)...

THE LINKS.

;p

Which, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC


Hope that's not too overwhelming. Nice to meet you :)

Contents: One hamster (brown), one bag of food pellets, one bag of hay (for sleeping)
Use: for cuddling and sanity-preserving.
Warning/alternate use: may react badly to being woken up in the middle of the day*
Cage sold separately

*I did this to my pet hamster when I was eight years old. I still have the scar. Now, if you got your enemy to do it...

P.S. I love Abhorsen and Keys, too.

Have some guns like the ones Zero Suit Samus uses in Brawl!

I was wondering when we would get an intro thread from you. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Here is a velvet bag full of polyhedral random number generators.

Enjoy your stay

-Barid

Your mentioning of parrots made me feel obligated to go watch this again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE

My apologies for the dead parrot humor. To make up for it, here's a baby emu. It's fuzzy and adorable now, but when it grows up it will be able to kick out your lungs through your spine. Welcome to the PPC.

Right. Get on with it. Get on with it!

All in one leather-bound, gold-leaf hardcover volume. You could break someone's neck with that!

On another note: Yay, a fellow Temeraire fan!

Welcome to the PPC! Have this shiny rock (pickax not included). It is useful as emergency punctuation, can be either a projectile weapon or a blunt instrument, and makes a very good paperweight. Use it well.

Ooh, Garth Nix! Glad to see another fan!

--anamia
P.S. As an aside, I'd avoid chatspeak, even as a joke. Some of us (myself included) are... not exactly rational on the subject of chatspeak.

Sounds like fun!

On the other hand, none of my Agents (well, Agent concepts) is a morpher. Do you mind if I steal it into one of my original fics, or is it PPC-limited?

Hmm. Sounds interesting, though given that one of my Agents is technically a tri-morphic shapeshifter (Humananthro cougar full cougar), I'm not sure how well that would work out for her. Still, it sounds like an awesome idea.

Nice work, that Sue did not realize how thigs should work with Tony around... And CIA will never impose agents to NCIS!

Nice Mission.

I love the mini! He is totally awesome. I was planning on having one of my agents develop an interest in Irish folk music, and this will be a good excuse to work it in.

Thanks.

I liked how you disposed of the bit characters. Proof that figurative language can work for both sides.

--anamia

Welcome, welcome.
Have some Sue hunting weaponry that you'll never use because it's from an obscure fandom. :)

Hello! Nice to meet you. I know none of your fandoms, so my gift to you is a Featherduster of Steel. Have fun!

Feed it only Generic Meat.

I had already read almost all Jay&Acacia missions, and also a lot of pages from the Wikia. I didn't, however, read all the rules on the "things you must not do in HQ". Astonishingly long, and I couldn't stop myself from laughting.

So... When is next Sue invasion? I want to spend some bullets!

Well, I'll fix that--though honestly, you seem to have a grasp of what's what already, which is nice. {= ) Anyway, first things first:

*pokes*

It's traditional. {= )

Now, the aforementioned links. The first one, of course, is to the Original Series. If you haven't read it, that is the first thing you should do, since it's what this whole glorious panoply is based on.

Second, if you are so inspired that you want to write your own PPC spin-off, you need to find out how to get Official Permission to do so.

After that, there are several pages on the PPC Wiki and elsewhere that contain useful and important information. In order of sensible reading-ness, as Sedri says, they are:

* The PPC Board Constitution, because it's Da Rules;
* The Board FAQ if you're not quite sure how to use this quaint old thing;
* The Guide to the PPC,
** FAQ for Newbies,
and eventually the
** Mission Writing Guide, written by Sedri with support from the Board.

You may also eventually be interested in Trojie's Slash-Sporking Guide if that's your thing.

If you wish to edit the wiki at any point, you should definitely check out my new Editing Tutorial.

And, of course, you should check out as many PPC spin-offs as possible. The Complete List of PPC Fiction and the List of Killed Badfic are good places to start.

And that is quite enough to be going on with. Welcome!

~Neshomeh

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Yay! Another NCIS fan!

Weclome to the PPC Posting board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a four-inch square of window glass and some peanut oil.

I'm into Detective Conan too! Here, have glasses that act just like Conan's, except with Sues!

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod!

You sound like you will do well here. I would, however, recommend having someone (friends work well) read over your stories before you post them. You never know what they might find that could be improved. Oh, and here's your welcome gift: a bladed yo-yo.

Please enjoy this Economy-size bottle of Bleeprin as a welcoming gift.

Hi! Mind the Sue hormones!

Have a bag of sunflower seeds. Keep away from any PPC officials; they may find it offensive.

Fair winds! Have fun here!

Here's your official PPC Newbie Hat (wear it with pride!), a batch of freshly baked brownies, and an interactive map of Middle-Earth. Enjoy.

Keep it away from a Bag of Holding, or Fun stuff will happen!

Allow me to squee at you for liking Card Captor Sakura. That was my childhood. Do you have any ships for it?

Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

Have a mini-Grammar Nazi. When actually Grammar Nazis attack you for trying to fight 'badfict' you can torment him to feel better. Try holding a mini-Jwe just out of reach - they hate that.

Nice to meet you. I am also a fan of Detective Conan, though I haven't seen it in quite a while.

Have a tiny mechanical Sunflower Official. Just don't let it boss you around too much.

-Barid

Welcome! I offer you a sparkly rock. It can be used as emergency punctuation, makes a good projectile weapon OR blunt instrument, and looks lovely as a paperweight. Enjoy!

Ooh, Cardcaptor Sakura is love! I'm more of a Sayoran fan, but Sakura's fun too.

Quick question: are you a non-native English speaker? I ask because some of your phrasing is a bit awkward, and your name sounds Italian.

--anamia

I know, I know, I know, everybody wants email attachments, but if I do that then I'll end up with four copies of the story, all different, all with the same name, and I'll be as confused as...something very, very confused, I guess.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dhmdnc9h_2ccm436gg

I'm also willing to become a permanent beta as well. E-mail attachments work best for me.

-Pretzel

Though I confess I don't have much experience. An email attachment would be best for me.

If I know it, I'll be happy to beta, and if you want I can also be a permanent beta though you might want someone a bit more... prompt than I.

Oh, and the mission release box isn't a section of its own, so you have to scroll to the top of the home page and click 'edit page.'

--anamia

I quite enjoyed it. I had to stop several times to facepalm at the idiocy in the fic.

One note: I believe that Vimes lost the Dis-organizer shortly before he became a Duke. It is a small thing, though.

Great story! My only complaint would be that the story dragged on a bit as you went looking for Sam and Sybil.

Lycaenion's posting-fu temporarily failed her, to her shame.

We apologise for the inconvenience. (Or, well, Lycaenion does. Cassie was an innocent bystander and merely provided her link.)

Only speaking of Star Wars here, but there is actually a proper system for how canonical some of the EU material is. Wildly-AU works don't count as canon, but unfortunately even some of the worst of the books *cough*Crystal Star*cough* do count as canon.

See our wiki article or the Wookieepedia article for more details.

Ahhh... Stupid after-series. With some, it's not so bad, but with popular series and classics, it can get pretty bad.

Curiously enough, LOTR has never gotten that treatment. Probably because LOTR practically defines fantasy. You just can't do anything more. With Dune, though, it just went way too far, and don't even get me started on Star Wars. Prequels, sequels, alternate-historequels... Ugh. Little more than published badfic. I'm surprised there aren't lame AUs and Bad Slash books.

I agree with what Cliever said; they're a divergent canon that includes the original but is not included in the original. Unless they're just horribly, disgustingly lame--then they're in a category all their own, specifically for despising. Like the later Dune spinoffs. And most of the Star Wars spinoffs.

Specifically with the upcoming Xcom FPS, which is supposedly somehow connected to the X-com top-down turn based isometric squad tactical game. I think what irritates me most is that it is inexplicably set in the 1960's with the main character being an FBI agent. Mostly because I see no possible reason for that change.

The general consensus was that if they're published, they're canon, but it's a sort of splinter canon where it might include the originals but the originals don't include it.

Basically, unless the badfic specifically includes the unofficial sequel, it can be safely disregarded for the consideration of missions. For instance, a 'Love Never Dies' badfic must consider 'The Phantom of the Opera,' but a 'Phantom of the Opera' badfic does not necessarily include 'Love Never Dies.'

I'd say it's pretty much up to each individual fan what's part of canon and what isn't. What troubles me personally is Sherlock Holmes published fiction. A lot of authors seem to use Holmes' name as a crutch to get their borderline fanfiction published, and I don't feel that's appropriate.

I once read a Holmes novel entitled "The Seven Percent Solution." I went in assuming that was a reference to the eventual solution to the crime, but it was actually referring to Holmes' frequent use of a 7% mixture of cocaine in water. The novel is a crossover with real-life Sigmund Freud, who psychoanalyzes Holmes (who is a worse addict than he ever was in the original stories) to uncover the mommy issues that keep him a bachelor and led to his substance dependencies. My real problem with the novel is that it implies Moriarty, the admittedly never-developed villain of the Holmes-verse, to be a common math professor; Holmes has subconsciously imagined all his criminal activities, probably because Moriarty was romantically involved with Holmes' mother or something. Freud eventually convinces Holmes to seek treatment for his drug use, prompting Holmes to ask Watson to publish a false account of his death temporarily to avoid attention (which is implied to be "The Adventure of the Final Problem").

"The Seven-Per-Cent Solution" annoyed me because it basically sought to undo part of the established Holmes canon (and because Freud, whose beliefs I hate vehemently, was in it, but that's not important right now). On the other hand, I've also read another piece of published Holmes literature called "The Einstein Paradox," which used the vehicle of Holmes (and Professor Challenger, another Doyle character) solving mysteries as usual as a backdrop for explaining quantum physics mechanics. Despite the educational intent of this book (which was even used as a textbook for my high school's AP Physics class), I absolutely loved reading it, because it remained true to the main canon, and really did read remarkably like an original Holmes story. (I highly recommend it to any Sherlock Holmes fans; the author is Colin Bruce.)

So to finally get around to the heart of this discussion, this extra published fiction is very similar to fanfiction: sometimes, it's good, and we enjoy it becomes it fits well with the canon; other times, it's bad, and makes us cringe because it doesn't jive well with the parts of the canon we remember and love. In those latter cases, we just have to accept that those publications do exist, but that we can choose to ignore them. I don't think it's even worth getting angry about, because, as we, of all people, know, there will always be bad writing. We just have to keep ourselves busy with the good stuff.

My apologies for the long rant.

Saying that rage isn't justified would be like telling me I'm not allowed to be angry about environmental damage just because people enjoy driving cars.

Things like Lost in Austen and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies make me furious, and half the fandom discussions nowadays seem to be about whether new additions to canon are 'official' or otherwise good enough. Everyone has their own opinion, and I don't see why something truly upsetting should be suppressed. Of course you have the right to be angry.

...it depends how bad the story is. I mean, in Doctor Who, a lot of people got mad at the eighth Doctor TV movie and don't count it as canon because they said a lot of things that contradict established canon. But a lot of people do count it, and think it was good.

I suppose it is justified if the characters are really OOC, i.e if it were fanfic, we would class it as Bleepfic-or-even-worse. That way, regardless of canonicity (is that a word?) it is still bad because the author clearly knows nothing about/disrespects that particular canon. Also, they must have a reaction with more than just you if they are as bad as you say, so a section of the fandom do not like it or indeed class it as canon.

I will admit I raeg fireballs at certain profics. I flat out gave up on the Star Wars books after Barbara Hambly's... thing and the absolute crap R. A. Salvatore pulled from his a**. I refuse to touch anything beyond the original Dune books (Kevin J. Anderson seems to be one of those who pops up in EUs that suck). I once read a sequel to Pride and Prejudice that I'm sure would make Austen spin in her grave.

I don't consider profics as part of the canon. I could say I would if the author/creator has given approval to someone else continuing his/her works, but some of the time that creator is dead and their works get nasty things done to them for the sake of making money.

The PPC as a whole may consider them canon, but I'm not wasting any more of my money or time on crap churned out by the likes of Kevin J. Anderson, Dave Wolverton, etc. (Although, I might consider reading William Shatner's Star Trek novels just for the amusement. XD)

Long story short, I totally understand the rage. It makes me feel better to ignore the existance of works that defile canon. -_-

Feel free to dismiss my idle chatter as the merely the mumblings of someone who 'doesn't get' fandom. But from my perspective, nothing says that you, personally, have to accept new 'licensed' works as canon.

Alot of people were angered at the latest Star Trek movie. I honestly don't understand why. It was a fun action flick - nothing more, nothing less. There is no reason that it's existence means you /have/ to accept it as the new star trek universe. If The Next Generation is your favorite show, nothing is forcing you from saying that it's successors, or the plethora of bad movies after it were merely alternate universes. Even better, just keep in mind that fiction that is written doesn't /actually/ become reality, and just realize that if a book or movie is made that is 'official' doesn't mean you are tied to worshipping it.

Regardless, getting angry doesn't work.

But I certainly RAGE at plenty of adaptations of books that I love (pause to glare at Peter Jackson), so I would say that just because something is profic not fanfic doesn't mean that you can't rage at how it destroyed canon.

I think the closest I've come to your situation is when I heard about ALW's sequel for The Phantom of the Opera, which sounded absolutely horrible. But I was always more a fan of the book than the musical anyway. And I was disappointed by some of the recent Star Wars novels, but that's different too. (At least, I think it is.)

How? Whenever I try, it says that the page is locked. I want to put my new mission under the 'New Missions' heading, but it won't let me! Is this happening to anybody else?

Personally, I thought it would be it's own canon but a subcanpn makes more sense. Also, maybe I'm thinking too much about this, but how is one supposed to nueralyze someone if they're wearing a helmet?

Yep, I'd call it a Halo 'verse Canon too. Not Halo Canon, but a "subcanon" if you will.

I believe Red vs. Blue is actually a parody set /in/ the Halo canon. You could consider it an alternate canon in the Halo continuity.

...but this one has achieved a new low.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5961908/1/A_Suite_Parody_of_Zack_and_Cody_Fanfiction

This fic parodies the cliches of Suite Life Badfic, such as the badly written Twincest, the Mary Sues, and the exhibitionist Femslash, with the promise of more coming. A veritable antidote to the earlier badfic.

I know nothing about video games, being one of the three people in America under the age of thirty who has never played one. I'm totally clueless about the fandom, but I'll read it anyway-- sometimes it's fun! :D

I'm not a big fan of anything besides Days of Ruin but I liked this fic.

Really liked this, and you get extra points for using Yellow Comet rather than any of the others.

Short as it may be, that is the most useful review I've seen. Thank you :) Maybe I'll go to see it myself now.

But they are usually warned, and you can see them coming, so you can avoid them if you like.

Definitely, I think she gets a break if she's learned from her mistakes. On the other hand, it occurred to me that if she knew it was bad, she might enjoy seeing it mocked. On the third hand, you can't assume she would; on the fourth hand, if you can find a tactful way of asking, it might be worth it. On the fifth hand, I seem to have turned myself into an octopus, so I'll shut up now.

True, we try to focus on the 'fic, not the author, but if an author has taken their work down - particularly if they did so because they know it's bad - it's best to respect that. Besides, from an in-world point-of-view, the fanfic is no longer around to wreck havoc on canon, so there's no need to PPC it anyway ;)

If there are aspects of it so dreadful that you feel you can't let it go, what about having your agents grumble about it in the past tense, as though it were a mission they once did in the non-narrative time before you started writing them? Or have them moan about it being the first such badfic they read and how it traumatised them? In that case they could outright state that the author later took it down, and even complain that they'd have liked to PPC it themselves - remember, the 'lives' of our avatar agents tend to follow 'real life', if in a bizzare, twisted fashion.

But even if not, I wouldn't PPC it. There's nothing stopping you, if you're determined, but since you asked...

The missions that were written for deleted stories were being written when it was deleted.

Also, if the author has learned the error of their ways then it is our job to acknowledge that and not drag up their past mistakes. If the author removed it because they realize it was bad, then I think it would be best to let it be.

Those are my thoughts on the matter.

-Barid

I like this place already, although I don't entirely agree. My take on the classic 'pink' Mary-Sue is this: Mary-Sues are written by daydreamers and people that fantasize that are stupid enough to put pointless fantasies online for the world to see. This is inexcusable- I may enjoy drawing a dress with silver embroidery, but I will not punish my readers with a few paragraphs on the dress.

Of course the ACMSES has a different definition of Sue than the PPC, but I wanted to contribute.

The Mary Sue wants to fix something. The idea is that the Sue will do anything, anything at all, to ensure that the author's ideal of a perfect version of the fandom is achieved. Usually, the ACMSES just leaves them alone and groans (unless they get out of the author's control, in which we step in).

A Sue exists to "fill the hole" in the author's perception or heart.

Theories are fun. And this is a good theory. I like it.

Perhaps Sues also gain some energy by being acknowledged by others? Not only the Suethor, but hapless readers of fanfiction? Reviewers and the like?

Or perhaps Sues are autonomous entities--maybe they can exist without authors, but must possess them in order to invade canon. It might not be the Suethors' faults after all. On the other hand, we still need to attack the abominable creatures that are Sue.

One of the most pleasing experiences of my life was to persuade a Suethor that her character was, in fact, a Sue, and had horribly mucked with canon besides. She took it down, and I haven't checked since, but she said she was rewriting it to improve. Small wonders, hey?

As I said before, sues usually have short lives and suethors are like life support systems for their creations and also about reformed sues.

In canon, authors grant life to their creations but suethors create but unable to give the sues good characterization nor a normal life span. These kind of flaws made the sues suffer. Worse, the bond can be broken if the suethor disowned the sue and/or never acknowledged as her creation. The amount of glitter in her body is a hint of how strong the bond is. While this sounds good at first but the drawbacks overweight the benefits. Broken powerful bonds is lethal to the sue, usually death or force her into a comatose state. The bond is double edged sword for sues.

As for reformed sues, the bond is severed from the suethor which should make them really weak. The ones with strong levels of glitter are impossible since they are too much of a hassle to handle. Sues can be reformed into normal beings even without having rely on the bond. They just have receive treatments but there's one problem, glitter is like their blood so trying to remove it could be fatal until medical research provided us a way to cure them of their suedom.

All of this talk about Sues as parasites reminds me of this fic I'm currently rereading called "A Sue's Story". Ever hear of it?

It's set in the Harry Potter continuum, but based some around some OCS who work with handing Sues. It's a different way of looking at it, so I don't know how some people will handle it...

So check it out, that is, if you want to.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1811995/1/A_Sues_Story

I find this idea pretty good, it completely explains non canon sues. However, Canon Sues are not quite the same problem - they ARE actually canon, so they are only resembling a Sue in behaviour, but do not share the same mechanics of energy stealing. In easy words, Canon Sues do not feed on canon energy, because they are in canon.

Good idea within the PPC, but don't forget that a lot of people consider canon Sues to exist. We're just not allowed to PPC canon.

See, I always thought Mary Sues existed because people like to write fanfiction, and some of them are really bad at it. And that we kill them because we don't like seeing stories about our favorite canons that are really bad. And that we made up the whole thing about them Killing The Canon to have an in-universe reason to do so, and because it makes for a good story...

--VM, being the polar opposite of helpful!

To be honest, I don't see the 'need'. I mean, why do 'scientific theories' need a reason? You might as well be asking for the motives behind why the Earth was created - which is a religious question, usually.

It would also create an additional ethical complication in that one could argue that the 'Sues are merely struggling to survive, casting agents in the light of genocidal murderers. I don't think that's quite what Jay and Acacia meant when they started this.

Still, if you want to think of it that way, that's up to you. I don't think I'll adopt it as part of my "headcanon", though.

Though I like the part where it says Sues are feeding on canon characters, I don't agree that Sues need to feed on canon characters because their authors can't publish their work officially. There's plenty of (officially) published fiction where there are Sues in the story.

I've got a similar question as Tawaki- Where can I send the info regarding the two Agents I'm hopefully going to be introducing on Saturday? I've got their basic profiles, but an e-mail address would be quite helpful. They needn't be used right away, but they're there if you need/want them.

-Pretzel