May 2010 Archive, part c

I'd like to take a look, if you can direct me. Could be funny :)

I'm making list here to see which weapon I can bring in the Mario Continuum. Correct me if I made mistakes.

-Guns: I'm sure they have guns but all of aren't lethal like real life ones. Snifits' masks count as a firearm.
-Energy Weapons: Yeah they have them.
-Flamethrowers: The snifits uses them with their masks, Bowser statues have them too.
-Fire: Fire Flowers.
-Swords: I've seen pirates wield them.
-Knives: Very rare if you ask me.

Since this a Mario fic, I have a sly idea. Death by Kaizo Trap!

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KaizoTrap

For those who don't know about this hellish game hack:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KaizoMarioWorld

What.

Mario mpreg. What.

This is a point by-point-reply, albiet looking something like an MST! There is a difference!

Take, for instance, the missions themselves. Every single day, perhaps less,

EBW: I thought HQ was timeless….

agents are forced to commit horrible acts, mercilessly killing just to stay alive.

EBW: I thought we were doing it because the ‘Sue’s are warping the canon, not because they’re trying to kill us…

The exorcists fare better on the morality scale due to not killing nearly as much,

EBW: And the crossover people. And the agents in whatever department the UC runs. And just about everyone who isn’t DMS or Floaters…

but there's still the fact that both are only treating the symptoms and not the problem itself (I'll let you interpret that line yourselves).

EBW: Please don’t. It’s actually needlessly vague. And if the ‘Sue’s are a disease in this analogy, why is it morally wrong to go in and slice them to bits?

And that's not even getting on an individual level. Think, just for a moment, how utterly terrifying it would be to actually be an agent.

EBW: Alright, you’ve got a point here…

First of all, you yourself would probably have little combat experience, be not exactly the most fit physically, and would rather be off doing something else.

EBW: The first one isn’t always true, but you’ve got a point here too...

Training is basically being handed a weapon, and being told to try not to die.
EBW: It seems to be working, though.

Your partner or partners, if they aren't as scared as you are, will probably be highly erratic, completely incapable of cheering you up due to lack of sympathy,

EBW: Where has that been in any way part of policy?

and insane to boot.

EBW: Alright, I’ll give you that one…

So, let's say you get that far without breaking down into a gibbering wreck of what was once a perfectly normal person, and you're about to go on your first mission with (Insert partner's name here).

EBW: Not an MST, not an MST, don’t comment on the grammar, don’t comment on the grammar…

If you're potentially lucky enough to get someone who has former experience in the work, you'll probably get instructed on how to use the technology, but if not, too bad for you, it'll be a goddarned miracle for you to even get halfway through the mission, yet alone complete it.

EBW: Don’t forget that we (the authors) are probably going to throw them a curveball just to give the mission dynamic.

Don't even think about free time afterwords, either, because the Ironic Over-Power is sure to smite you!

EBW: SMITÈD! Oh, and you misspelled ‘afterwards’.

Now. Let's say you've completed several missions, have got the hang of it and made friends with your partner. If you've made it this far, congratulations! You're now completely out of your mind, if not dead already!

EBW: We actually don’t die as much as you’d think.

If you somehow manage to reach retirement,

EBW: Since when has that been an option? Remember, we’re all basically wage slaves here.

nobody's going to accept you back home, or anywhere for that matter, they'll think you're absolutely nuts.

EBW: Provided your home is Earth, you aren’t an ex-Sue, and you haven’t heard of that PPC city thingy in…France, is it?

At this point, you might as well be the PPC's property, a tool for them to use and nothing more. For all they care, you're just going to keep doing your job in the name of a faceless goal that doesn't even seem to go anywhere. For all you know, it's just to amuse the higher-ups in some kind of sadistic show for them.

EBW: I didn’t want to drop this anvil, but…SUES ARE DESTROYING THE MULTIVERSE. WE ARE STOPPING THEM. Unless by ‘higher-ups’ you mean us, the writers and readers, the last point is off completely.

Oh, and before you say that I'm taking things too seriously, I haven't laughed once at anything PPC related.

EBW: Well…did you enjoy it, at least? I mean, was it interesting?

If it's so funny, where's the jokes? where's the hilarity and silliness that is so integral to the PPC's spirit?

EBW: Actually, I prefer MSTs. Missions are fun as hells to write, but if I want a laugh I look for an MST.

Am I blind to it? Do I sympathize with fictional characters far too much to see it?

EBW:...Yes?

Because all I see is this descent into madness and subsequent death/locking up, and there's nothing funny about that... I feel like I'm missing out on something...

EBW: *sigh* Well, maybe you haven’t considered all the bases. You could go into Bad Slash if you think they’re more morally right, or Crossovers. Hells, you could go into FicPsych, or write MST’s. You could become a lurker, or leave entirely, although I don’t suggest either. Or, and here’s an idea I’ve actually been toying with, you could change things up a little. Make missions dramatic, rather than funny. It could be really good to be original. I mean, we pride ourselves on our originality; it would be hypocritical to smother yours. I dunno. Maybe this whole reply was a bad idea. Maybe it all was a bad idea. I just don’t know…

The PPC is a pardoy; it always has been. Parodies never take things this too seriously. We waver a bit here and there, sometimes giving our missions as different tang, but the essence of the morality issue is - as has been said - that the Sues and other such characters (bits, wraiths, et cetera) are not people and never have been. They're characters, and if it were ethically wrong to kill a character, then there would be no such thing as entertainment drama.

As for why we make light of 'dark and sinister' issues in the frist place - it'ss probably the same reason that people make jokes about serial killers and dead animals, or why many fanfic writers get a kick out of writing about their favourite characters being tortured - or both. There seems to be some fascination with taking something serious and making light of it; black humour. The story of Sweeney Todd is about an insane serial killer, but you don't see the critics condemning it as morally correupt, do you?

There's also the point that the PPC was born of frustration with badly written stories we can do nothing about. How often, in daily life, do you head people say "Oh, I'm going to kill you", or "This is killing me"? They don't mean it literally, byt Jay and Acacia connected the notions into a silly idea and ran with it. Then we picked it up and ran with it again, and again. For fun.

Also, from an in-world perspective, the agents aren't exactly real people; they don't react quite the same way as we in the real world do. That's just the nature of the stories, because it wouldn't be a parody if our protagonists took things seriously.

Does that answer your question?

Your Mileage May Vary on this answer, but I feel that while yes, there are some rather dark elements lurking in the shadows, as it were, of the stories, there's also the fact that without those elements there wouldn't be any engaging stories. Take any of Terry Pratchett's works, for example. They are widely known for their humor and satirical natures, but there's also an underlying current of darkness there as well. In Witches Abroad, for example, there're the ever-familiar elements of fairy tales (Cinderella, The Frog Prince, etc) written into the story, but there's also the underlying theme of how ultimate and unlimited power corrupts people, as well as the danger of twisting stories to suit one's needs.

That, as a matter of fact, is ultimately what the PPC is here to prevent: the twisting of beloved stories and/or fictional universes so beyond the norm that they're unrecognizable. Imagine if someone with the power to change everything you hold dear into an unrecognizable and warped reflection of itself came to your world (town, city, whatever), and began changing things. How would you react, especially if you knew you had the power to stop this soulless being from ever doing it again? Yes, you would have to resort to assassination, but if you're doing it for the greater good of your world, wouldn't that be at least some justification for the act itself?

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that while yes, there are some things about the PPC that aren't pretty out in the light of day, it's essentially just a way to enjoy oneself and have fun gently poking fun at the bad stories in this world. I for one get a kick out of it, but I suppose it's because I'm just weird like that.

Oh, and if you want to see an organization like the PPC- they kill Mary Sues and plot bunnies (the evil ones, mind you)- go check out Bitemetechie's Anti-Plot Bunny Association stories. Here's a link to the first in the series; they're funny as hell, though the series is on a bit of a hiatus at the moment.

Enjoy, and I hope that helps some.

Pretzel

1) Sues are not people. That's really integral to what makes it funny. Sues and their companions the bit-characters are not sentient, thinking beings in any way that we understand them. To drag in theology, they don't have souls. That's the key thing, really.

2) Agents are not conscripts. Most agents, especially agents from World One, chose this. And like it.

3) In terms of everything against you - very true. But on the other hand, the Word World is protecting you on a mission. That does a lot.

4) Despite all the "no retirement EVER" jokes... retirement is totally possible. And you can go home again. Look at Boarder!Laburnum's characters. I could be misinterpreting but it seems to me that Foxglove stays in contact with her family all the time; Agent!Laburnum was re-establishing contact with her family. And if you don't want to go home, you have ever piece of fiction ever created to escape to. Look at Acacia from the original series, isn't she off happy in some Roman continuum? If a really desperate agent wanted, they could go settle in the Hundred Acre Wood or Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Horrendous fate!

5. It is possible to live a happy, if incredibly bizarre, life at HQ. I'm gonna cite Pads's and Trojie's Ten Years Hence here - in that future, at least, they're living in HQ and have a, uhm, nontraditional, but very happy family that they could never have had anywhere else. Life is nice.

6. As to funny... I don't know. There is, in fact, an element of black comedy here. I'm curious as to what you read, and why you kept reading if you didn't think it was funny or enjoyable. I'm curious as to why Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At The PPC, Agent Lux being Lux, and spontaneous water fights aren't funny. I guess this is kind of a matter of perspective, though, and a personal thing.

(My apologies if I misrepresented anyone's work, by the way.)

And, as a former writer of angst myself, I can understand where you're coming from. (I say former because I've become lazy in recent times and don't have the mental energy to devote to writing proper, realistic angst.) Angst is fun. At least, I consider it fun. Then again, I am a fairly twisted writer who likes to see her characters suffer, but that's a different story.

On the other hand, I think all the craziness is just a coping method. Yes, being an agent, especially a newbie, would be terrifying. Not only to have to go into a badfic (scary in itself), but to have to dispose of a person (who may not be a 'person,' as such, but dangit, when you're looking at her, I expect she might feel like one, at least a little), and to have to do so with a complete stranger is scary. (And yes, I rate the last as the scariest. I have a... warped value scale. Yay for being antisocial...) There are two ways to cope with that kind of thing: you crack, at which point you're taken to FicPsych and probably sent home, or you take it all as absurd but necessary. It's those who take the second track who stay as agents and actually do all the work.

I say this, of course, even as I'm sitting here wondering if my characters are reacting enough to the horrors of the 'fic in which they are currently stuck. Angst is a hard habit to break. -grins-

So yeah, I understand where you're coming from, and I sympathize with you. I find PPC stuff funny, but I also see the darker side, and I want to work with that. As people said, you need a balance, and all silliness is just as bad as all angst.

--anamia

You see what you want to see in a work of fiction. Much like the stereotypical monster in the closet, what is reasonable and prudent to one person is most definitely not believable to another. I think that at least in the most part, your perspective differs from mine enough that the implications you see and the ones I do are definitely two different things.

Take, for instance, the missions themselves. It has been stated (in TOS) that we can't hurt badfic authors, as they have rights. This implies that their creations do not have rights, and thus are not alive - therefore, ending them isn't as horrible an act as it might seem. They're just words, after all, and we're re-writing them to be something else. (Namely, not continuing to distort the canon.)

A lot of the PPC's humor comes from the workplace - management that seems out of tune with reality itself, to say nothing of the employees, is a classical example.

The Ironic Overpower is another entity borrowed from the workplace, especially customer service positions. I do A/V for money, as I'm sure many of you know. Now, the vast majority of my events run smoothly, professionally, and so on. It's the ones that don't run smoothly that would make it onto my blog if I felt like blogging, and especially the ones where multiple things fail for humorous effect. For example, the event this morning. I was scheduled to start (and did start) an hour and a half before an event to set up a single mic for a presenter. When the presenter arrived, they didn't even notice that the mic existed, stood in front of the stage, and talked to the people unamplified. Meh, big deal. However, the thing that has me shaking my fist at the Ironic Overpower is the fact that I started at 6 AM on a Saturday.

The Ironic Overpower is not a force that keeps Agents busy all the time - it's a semi-anthropomorphization of the odd way that when things go wrong, there tend to be multiple things that go wrong, and all at the best possible time to make things entertaining and amusing. I suppose I could sit down and do the statistics and work out how often it actually happens, but in my work, at least, it seems to happen far more than it should. (Then again, the times it does are the ones people tend to remember.)

And no, I do not believe that it would be terrifying to be an Agent. We're going on adventures in far-off and magical places to save the world - not dramatically, not through magic speshul powers, but by stabbing words in the face. Are big-game hunters terrified by what they hunt?

As far as not being able to go home, see Pads's missions - she goes into that a lot more than I ever have.

As with any storytelling, the PPC stories are exaggerations for comic effect. There was quite a bit more to training here where I work than "here's a sound board, go run the state Supreme Court", but that's what it seems like at times, and if I was telling it for humorous effect, that's exactly how I'd tell it.

No, the PPC isn't a descent into madness. For every potential trauma-inducing moment, there are hours of running around in Middle-Earth, seeing the scenery, laughing at people's stupidity, and so on. No, it's not a safe office job, but the ancient chinese proverb that "may your life be interesting" is a curse is complete and utter bunk. The PPC is an adventure.

Also, from a very machinistic perspective, we don't write Lovecraftian spiral-into-madness fics because we don't want to read them. This is fiction. We tell the stories we want to tell, and that is not where we want the PPC to go. We want to read about a flake with a camera and a slightly bloodthirsty card-game aficionado saving Middle-Earth one badfic at a time. We want to read about hospital drama where the patients could be from any world imaginable. We want fun and adventures and completely ridiculous superheroes saving the multiverse, so that's what we write.

I second everything Calista said and so am not going to repeat it, but would just like to add in addition . . .

One important thing to remember is that, for the most part (with rare exceptions such as in Suedom) Mary Sues aren't real people. Not even in fiction. I mean, a well-designed 3D character in a story might be construed as "real" within the context of a story, but Mary Sues are one-dimensional (at most) wish fulfilments. They are, in other words, soulless. The is no more evil in killing them than in killing a pencil drawing of a stick figure.

One last thing: people adapt. I mean, people adapt all the time, swiftly, and necessarily to new situations. They are changed, but seldom broken. While reading your question-thing, I tried to put myself in the place of my agent, and my reaction was:

At first, it would be difficult, but I'd adapt. And it wouldn't drive me insane. It wouldn't be fun, but it would be necessary. And I could do it, if I had to. To protect worlds and lives, I could do it.

Killing 'Sues isn't a matter of "let's be bloodthirsty because we're sociopathic." (Well, mostly it isn't. Some agents are a bit... okay, a lot... sociopathic.) It's more like the lesser of two evils: If the Sue is allowed to stay in the continuum, she will literally destroy the continuum, along with all the characters living in it. Recruiting a full-blown Sue is also out: Since the PPC itself is a continuum, a Mary Sue in the PPC may not just begin to unravel HQ, but will have access to almost every continuum out there. The implications are obvious--take them out or the multiverse dies.

What happens if Sues get free rein: http://nath-ppc.livejournal.com/544.html

Most Sues employ mind control and brainwashing to control canon characters, so it's not like they're innocent. They're more like the personification of canon distortion than anything else, though they're sometimes portrayed as being a little like a viral infection (think zombies or vampires), as they can occasionally turn non-Sues into Sues by sheer influence.

Some PPC fics have explored the reality of having to kill Sues. Not every agent is a gung-ho 'Sue killer.

Kitty Callahan, for example, only managed to kill the Sue in question because her partner was in danger: http://wizkit.livejournal.com/524.html

And from the perspective of the 'Sues: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Suedom

Yes. It is terrifying to be a PPC agent. Why do you think they develop such a sarcastic sense of humor? For the most part, though, it's only about as terrifying as being a soldier going to war (which is extremely terrifying, but something that people do every day, so you can't say it's unrealistic)--and done for about the same reason: Love of canon worlds. Hating to see them torn apart.

Almost universally, PPC agents are volunteers. They're hardly paid, so it's not like there's economic pressure to stay; they could probably, if they liked, just stay in the next continuum they were sent to visit. Overwhelmingly, they've made the choice to risk it, take their average life/sanity expectancy of one year, and actually make a difference.

Think about it: If all this were real; if all the books and movies you loved were real worlds; if there were billions and trillions of sentient creatures that needed protecting from the reality-warping powers of what might as well be eldritch abominations in the shape of ridiculously beautiful teenage girls--well, would it really be so highly illogical to set out to risk it and make a year's worth of difference? In general--and as weird as it sounds--PPC agents are probably happy with their jobs, when they aren't shoveling down Bleepka or fighting for their lives.

The Flowers do have an ulterior motive. It's called "stopping the multiverse from turning inside out and becoming utterly uninhabitable". It's a matter of common goals: The Flowers want to have a habitable universe; the PPC agents want to protect their favorite worlds. When you have a common goal, you might as well team up.

Um, and yes. You are taking things way too seriously. The PPC is meant to be humor. It has a dark side; but the dark side, I think, makes the humor all the better. If you've got a near-100% chance of going nuts or dying, it makes quite a lot of sense to say screw it and laugh in the face of everything you encounter. It's just a matter of perspective. Once you know your days are numbered, you set out to enjoy every second--including the crazy hilarity of things like fangirls who accidentally cause Legolas's eyeballs to acquire sentience of their own and fly around the room...

Your idea is that if you're in a bad situation, the only logical response is to go angst and say "Oh, woe is me! All is lost!"... but why? It's just as logical to acknowledge that your bad situation sucks, and either set out to solve the problem, or else make the best possible life you can regardless.

We're all in the same situation, you know. We're all going to die, and some of us will go nuts beforehand, temporarily or for good. Whether it's a matter of one year or seventy, that's the universal human problem. How we deal with it can define our lives... But I'm getting existential. Let's go back to herding Mini-Balrogs and exorcising badslash demons, shall we?

I have also found an epic goodfic. Actually, it was referred to me ages ago by Bronwyn, and she may have told you about it, but oh well. I'll link to it again.

It's a massive Harry Potter AU which actually works. It starts out a little shakily, and the main character has faint whiffs of 'Sueishness about her, but it gets better very quickly until she's in no way 'Sued or in danger of becoming 'Sued.

The story itself tells a completely different version of the stories beginning when Harry is two. I won't say too much so as not to give it away, but I will warn that it's very long, and that there are two completed sequels and another in progress.

I'd love to know what you think of it!
--anamia
p.s. Right, the link. Almost forgot. Here you go: http://whydoyouneedtoknow.fanficauthors.net/Living_with_Danger/index/

While things like this don't exactly help my faith in my writing skills, it does help me know what not to do when writing.

After all, that's how I improved - by reading OFUs and PPC missions. I reckon we could actually make some people care about improving their writing, but not everyone. Everyone but the people who think any sort of negative review is a flame, even concrit. There's not much that can be done in that situation.

I've noticed, when reading PPC missions, that sometimes the agents will just point out an error offhand, scribble it down on the charge list, and speak to each other in effective shorthand, which is fun and easy but won't really help confused and not-so-good-yet writers understand why. On the other hand, sometimes the writer of the mission swill make an effort to have the agents explain the problem/error as well as possible solutions (without being so obvious as to 'turn to the audience' and talk directly; it still has to be in character for the agents' dialogue), which can indeed be very helpful, and is far more direct, without being a preachy speech.

As for your first question - I'd say it depends entirely on who does the reading. I was already a nitpicky fanatic before I found the PPC, and I don't personally know anyone who's read it and then begun a crusade to save fanfic, but I don't see why it can't convince people to care, only that I haven't seen it myself.

I think that the PPC does serve a quite valuable purpose. It shows what's wrong with certain stories- SPAG issues, Mary Sues, etc- and then, most importantly, tells you how to fix it. I know I have a few badfics in my past (I started out doing HP fanfic, but have never returned to it, thank Glod), but a few things helped me get better at writing. One was taking a creative writing class Senior year of High School, but the other was finding people who consistently wrote goodfic (bitemetechie is a primary example of this; she's a genius at it). The PPC helps spread the fact that there are, in fact, goodfics out there, since the missions themselves are (hopefully) meant to be such things.

As for the second question, I think it's honestly how the person reading the missions takes the intent (having fun and spreading goodfic)and what they do with what they learn: Mary Sues are bad, good grammar is non-negotiable, etc.

I know I'm just rambling here. Take it as you will.

Pretzel

Or else, what's the point, really?

I for one, agree with the first bit. My writing has improved dramatically since I first joined this, and it's extremely noticeable. I look back at my earlier work and it seems like it's been written by an entirely different person.

Maybe it's because I started caring. I first started writing stories and the like simply because my overactive imagination demanded it, but now that I've begun to care, actually put effort into what I put down... Wanted what I put down in the words to be more vivid, more tangible...

Anyways. The people who don't want to change most likely won't. It's possible for someone who doesn't care about their writing to start caring, but don't expect it to happen to everyone, okay? I know for one that some people enjoy writing terribly, and others think that writing well isn't worth the effort. That's obviously wrong, because it's absolutely thrilling to see your work be appreciated when you actually put lots of effort into it.

As for your other question, I can see where you're coming from here. But sometimes, it's not worth cushioning the blows. If you try to soften your opinion on someone else's writing, it might lose the meaning you were trying to get across. Though it may seem harsh, it is sometimes necessary to tell the flat out truth as opposed to a sugar-coated lie.

...I smiled at the last sentence. XD

PPCing has made me very much aware of all the things to look out for to write goodfic. I haven't written much other than missions for a few years now, but that's because my main failing is a good plot. I never have enough ideas to get me past the first chapter.

Anyway, that's me. I've receive comments from people that my missions encourage them to go back to their own stories and fix that problem I had just made them aware of. The people that make these comments, I think, are already pretty aware of what makes goodfic. I take it as a compliment that they also learn from me.

I've heard from a few people whose fic I "targeted" that, in retrospect, they appreciate the comments I made.

I recently had a discussion with someone that does not think PPCing is the right way to get people to write beter stories. She suggested rather than publicly point out all the bad in a story, I should write in essay an PM the Suethor. I doubt that is going to make the Suethor any more likely to use my advice. Plus, it's less fun for me to write.

I don't think there is a way to maximize the chance that people will learn something from my writing. Or rather, I don't know if it is possible to improve that chance from what it is now.

I would like to see a crossover with SGA. Rodney's reaction would be very interesting to watch.

He actually has quite a few good fics. "The Wildest Card" is a Doctor Who/Batman crossover. Joker vs the Doctor.

And yeah, those are awesome fics. Ten has always been my favorite.

I've never seen Doctor Who, but I know both Star Trek and Star Wars, so I'll give the first two a shot. Cheers :)

...that Amelia is from the World of Warcraft? My current agent pair is from that continuum and they would love the company.

And I'm a ditz for not posting the link. My apologies.

Playlist

I can't stand to see Disney badfic. Glad to see someone else will be handling it once they get Permission.

You are allowed to claim before getting permission, just can't publish PPC stuff before getting permission.

It is highly suggested you read everything you can get your hands on PPC-wise before asking for permission or writing anything so you have a good idea of what's been done before and what hasn't and so on.

Of course, you can't read everything, but it's fun.

OK, so we're saying that "legendary badfic" means that it needs to have two qualifications: One, it's extremely, brain-breakingly bad; and two, it's very well-known, to the point that (for example) about 80% of the people in the given fandom have heard about it.

What about badfic that just has the "extremely, brain-breakingly bad" quality? This isn't your average everyday glittery Sue or improbable slash story; it's the kind that has people whacking their heads against the nearest hard object to try to get rid of the memory. But it's not well-known enough to make legendary badfic status. All of these would be taggable with "NSFB", just like legendary badfic. Not necessarily NSFW (legolas by laura isn't NSFW, for example); but just the sort of vileness that makes you wish bleeprin were real.

I think we need a third category, beyond just "badfic" and "legendary badfic"--one that just requires that anyone who's read the thing agrees that it's legendary badfic quality, just without the notoriety.

Maybe "Aspiring Legendary Badfic" could be archived along with the other unclaimed/claimed badfic, and tagged with "NSFB"..

I can't add my support. Personally I think the "Legendary" part of the title ought to imply that most everyone (here) knows of and will shudder at the memory of peeking at the damn thing, so I'm very hesitant to add anything to that list. ...Maybe I'll suggest making a "Goddamn AWFUL Badfic" list for the stuff that doesn't quite make the "legend" part of "Legendary"... Hm....

I pity the agents that take on these monstrosities.

It got nuked.

...when my first response to a fic called "If I Was Your Nazi" is, "Shouldn't it be 'If I Were Your Nazi'?"

*reads part of the sporking*

AAAGGGHHHH! Right, now I'm raging at the use of a terrible tragedy to make a really bad fanfic.

Naga Eyes: http://snakesonasora.livejournal.com/2619.html#cutid1

If I was your Nazi: http://snakesonasora.livejournal.com/18658.html#cutid1

Glad I could help!

...so I'm not late! Although sadly the lilac didn't seem to be blooming today.

Happy Glorious 25th, everyone.

*begins handing out sprigs for those who don't have any* I also have extra towels, if anyone wants one.

... but my towel is purple, so it counts for both! Glorious 25th, hoopy froods!

I live in a very lilacky place.

(But not really, because it's Glaurunging hot outside. And I'm going riding, and a towel would probably spook the horses.)

I didn't know about the Star Wars one. Someone should add it to this wiki article.

I'll try to find some lilac to wear while I'm at work today and see if anyone notices. *g*

~Neshomeh

I hadn't noticed what day it was until now. Heh. Anyways, I've got my towel ready. Just need some lilacs, then I can really party. XD

I've got my lilacs and my towel at the ready! Unfortunately, my Jedi robe is at home.

I have no flowers, so I had to settle for lilac-coloured nail polish. I reckon it counts. I do, however, know where my towels are.

*pins on sprig of lilac, tucks towel in bag, plays Imperial March loudly*

Whee! So, so much fandom geekery. :D

*parties*

Just reread Night Watch day before yesterday, actually. I would love to say it was specifically in honour of the day, but it really wasn't. It was because Night Watch is my favourite of the great Pratchett's books.

I second the, it gives such hope in humanity. A character who can kill and choses not to . . . tat is all t orare. Plus, Prachett is *such* an excellent writer.

I think I'll have a boiled egg for breakfast, with the yolk runny.

I actually just started reading the Discworld novel in question and look forward to finding out what this is all about.

*makes a towel headband and puts a sprig of lilac in it*

Oh, and happy anniversary to Maria and Crispin.

For justice! Reasonably priced love! And a hard-boiled egg, just a little runny, with soldiers.

That's still my favorite Discworld novel ever. I remember... I'd just become utterly disillusioned with revolutionaries and anarchists over a nasty incident involving lies, treachery, and stealing from The Man, who happened to be someone I knew and liked. Wandered into the library, cursing life and philosophy and humanity in general, and wound up picking up that book. Sat there for four hours reading, and very nearly cried at the climax.

Sam Vimes Terry Pratchett = Reason #12 Not To Give Up On Humanity

Aw, you beat me to the punch. Very well. A Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May to you, my fellow PPCers! Let us remember those who fought for Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg.

Oh, and towels. An always important part of a hoopy frood's standard traveling kit.

Pretzel, with a sprig of lilac bobby-pinned in her hair and a towel by her side.

After all, the PPC isn't exactly known for having the most efficient and logical management, is it?

Just speaking personally, I think I'd like it if the non-human (or non-humanoid) patients could have a little division of their own, even if in practical reality it just gets caught up in general Medical anyway. And the idea of a non-human Head would be appropriate, too, either flora of fauna. (Do we have any anthro/animal Heads yet? I don't think so; unsure.)

Whoever it is, they should certainly be a doctor who already works in that area. EdW has a good point about the potential hillarity of a promoted Flower, though.

*There's precedent in Medical for non-Flower department heads, of course. But wouldn't it be more of a "division head" than a department head? Or you could just call them "wards", like in a hospital.

*Medical already handles at least a large minority of non-human patients--not just anthros and pets, but creatures with biology that's not even based on Earth-style biochemistry. One can assume they're pretty flexible that way.

*Doctors do tend to specialize; but when their overall field is already so broad, it may be that to them there's not all that much difference between two mammals--say, a cat and a human--when on the same day they may be treating a Taxxon or a velociraptor... or even more bizarre things, like energy creatures or two-dimensional beings.

I think thereneedn't necessarily be a specific division, though there could be. But there are almost certainly specialist doctors--doctors who specialize in humans (as they're the largest group), or doctors who specialize in unusual biologies, or doctors who specialize in specific problems like resurrecting canon characters or monitoring and managing the glitter levels of ex-Sue agents. And yeah, with all the anthro and pet characters--I think it's very likely that there exist one or more doctors who specialize in the biology of Earth and parallel-Earth animal and anthropomorphic animal characters.

If there are subdivisions in Medical, they could also be functional divisions: A ward for Agents; a ward for canon characters; a ward for contagious problems; a ward to isolate characters who, left to their own devices, would attempt to assimilate HQ or get glomped by every fangirl within a ten-mile radius; a ward for rescued mpreg babies to grow to full-term before being transferred to the nursery.

Probobly it'll need a Head Doctor/Nurse/Healer/Thingimabob, though. But I don't think we have Division Heads unless the Divisions themselves are very large, and I'm not sure we should allowed to pull Flowers into the PPC without any explanation of why they weren't there in the first place. Maybe a Flower could get promoted from a lower position, like a Janitor or that Daisy from the Fifth Anniversary. But on the other hand, he wouldn't really know how to head a Department...But on a random third hand, a newbie Department Head might be hilarious if written right. I can imagine it...It's trying to act all officious in front of the Agents, but it keeps forgetting things, and acting shy in front of the other Heads, and all the fangirlish Agents are trying so hard not to go 'squee' all over him...And now I want to make up a new Department just so I that'll happen. And I do, and we start arguing, and suddenly there's a random Emergency that comes from it, and this makes Neshomeh explodes...somehow...I dunno. I like Neshomeh, so I think I'm gonna stop talking now, yeah?

but I guess it's possible that whoever put the story on the unclaimed list had not read the whole thing. At least, I usually decide something is a Suefic based on the first chapter. And occasionally change my mind later on (although more often I decide not to do a mission because the brain breakage it hurts).

Not actually having read this fic I won't give an opinion on that. Just my opinion on Suefic in general. It is not the characteristics of a character or a plot that makes it a Suefic. Being the twin of Harry and the Boy-Who-Lived doesn't make Connor a Stu. It all depends on how the author handles it. Is Harry still in character (mind that having a twin who shared his abuse at the Dursley family could have changed him)? Are all the other characters still in character? If that's the case, this is not a Suefic and I think it can be taken of the list.

If I remember the first book correctly -- it's about ten years since I read it, so memory can be shaky on it -- the Sorting Hat originally wanted to sort Harry into Slytherin. It thought he would be great there. Harry had to beg it to be sorted into Gryffindor.

Given that Connor is immediately recognizable (or at least, to me) as a Marty Stu, I think it should stay. Even though the Author gives an okayish reason behind it- saying it's AU and all- the whole having a scar shaped like a heart (And I immediately got this picture of it being shaped like the actual organ, and not the simplistic pictogram we all recognize as being a heart), as well as taking Harry's place as the Boy-Who-Lived-and-Will-Eventually-Defeat-the-Dark-Lord, reeks to me of Marty Stu-ness.

Also, I have a problem with Harry being Sorted into Slytherin. Given that both his parents were in Gryffindor, I would think that he'd want to follow in his parents' footsteps, and that the Sorting Hat would recognize that. Oh, and the fact that Draco and Harry can "feel" one another's magic? *cringes*

I'm not joking with the subject. You'll be surprised how much time you spend in and around HQ once you find a discussion that interests you. Also, I apologize for being late. I was away from my computer for the weekend, and am just now catching up. I would like to join the ranks of people who are praising your username. I, personally, only dream in impressions. Sure, they form pictures, but color is only rarely specified. And take a bladed yo-yo. It probably won't help you make friends, but it is a great way of taking your mind off of badfic.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

In honor of your name, have some nicely sharpened colored pencils, good for coloring, writing, or fighting. I promise they won't break.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a cup of tea.

Welcome! I offer you this shiny rock and apologize for the lack of a link. If you would like to see exactly which rock you are receiving, let me know, and I shall show it to you tomorrow, when my computer is not about to give out on me.

Anyway, the rock in question is lovely and perfect for use as a paperweight, projectile weapon, or emergency punctuation. I do hope you enjoy it.

Welcome to the PPC and I hope you have a pleasant time with us!

--anamia

You have a beautiful name. In its honour I present you with a three-metre paintbrush. Use it well ;)

It's a pleasure to meet you.

...I like your name... :-)

Feed her only Generic Meat, and she'll be your friend forever.

But first things first.

*pokes*

It's traditional. {= )

Now, the aforementioned links. The first one, of course, is to the Original Series. If you haven't read it, that is the first thing you should do, since it's what this whole glorious panoply is based on.

Second, if you are so inspired that you want to write your own PPC spin-off, you need to find out how to get Official Permission to do so.

After that, there are several pages on the PPC Wiki and elsewhere that contain useful and important information. In order of sensible reading-ness, as Sedri says, they are:

* The PPC Board Constitution, because it's Da Rules;
* The Board FAQ if you're not quite sure how to use this quaint old thing;
* The Guide to the PPC,
** FAQ for Newbies,
and eventually the
** Mission Writing Guide, written by Sedri with support from the Board.

You may also eventually be interested in Trojie's Slash-Sporking Guide if that's your thing.

If you wish to edit the wiki at any point, you should definitely check out my new Editing Tutorial.

And, of course, you should check out as many PPC spin-offs as possible. The Complete List of PPC Fiction and the List of Killed Badfic are good places to start.

And that is quite enough to be going on with. Enjoy!

~Neshomeh

You can has interaction! :D

Also, you can have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Much fun can be had with them.

They're metal-tipped and good for throwing!

I don't have anything to give to you, but hello and hopefully you'll enjoy it here.

Got any ideas for agents yet?

Fair winds!

Welcome! Here's your shiny new Frying Pan of DOOM^tm, and a freshly made batch of double chocolate brownies.

Enjoy!

~Pretzel

In honor of your arrival and username, have a horse of a different color.

And, may I say, you have a wonderful username.
Here, have a pet cat. (He's a calico, by the way.) You may name him whatever you wish.

Hi! Welcome to the PPC! I gift you with a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat, with Shakespearean lineage.

Welcome! What fandoms are you into?

Hello and welcome to the PPC Psoting Board! We're so glad you could join us! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay.

Interaction: you post, we reply, or someone else posts and you reply.

And there's the chatroom.

Someone will be along shortly to provid you with links.

Well, it looks like Bleepfic has won. Still, it's so close, it wouldn't be fair to snub any of the other terms, since they're so popular, so I've made a new article at the wiki entitled Bleepfic, but all the major runners-up are mentioned there as well. Please, take a look and make any additions you like. I've also adjusted the Legendary Badfic page to reflect the new disctinctions.

Thanks to all of you for helping :)

Is sounds about right to me... *casts vote*

This is fun :)

Okay, we seem to have some clear favourites - the following have at least five votes each:
* Glaurunging Badfic
* AUGHfic
* Bleepfic

These have one vote each:
* Extremely Bad Fic
* Incredibly!Badfic
* Ewwfic
* ODEfic (for Oh Dear Eru)
* HorriFic
* Abominable Badfic

And these, which I'd like you all to look at, just to be fair, have been suggested since my first post (I assume everyone's looked at them already, but still):
* SickFic
* Worsefic (which has two votes already)
* Crukfic
* MorphFic
* Blechfic
* Squickfic
* C*l-level

A few arguments have been made against some of the options:
* Squickfic - could be used already to describe fics that are intentionally written badly
* AUGHfic - is rather generic
* Glaurunging Badfic - relies on obscure LotR knowledge (who Glaurung is)
* Bleepfic - relies on PPC in-knowledge.


Going purely by numbers, we seem to have a three-way tie, so if you all don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you'd vote again for one of the following three:
* Glaurunging Badfic
* AUGHfic
* Bleepfic
- or throw your vote in favour of one of the new or so-far-not-favoured options listed above.

Please only vote once, as it's rather hard to keep an accurate tally when people give me three favourites, in ranking order. Remember, we can always use 'losing' terms to refer to these fics anyway, just as long as we have one 'standard' that will be the title of the wiki article, for example. (Really, how many things around here have just one name? And it's not as though I'm going to jump down your throats for using the 'wrong' term...)


My vote is for "Bleepfic".

AUGHfic is rather generic, Glaurung isn't restricted to the PPC (and some people might not know who he is), but I find the idea of a 'Bleepfic' automatically unnapealing and very PPC.

(Although it feels weird to type that many -ng endings onto a word.) Failing that, Extremely Badfic.
(Horrorfic and HorroFic sound like a legitimate variation of Dark Fic or a term for crossovers with a horror movie.)

Can I nominate "The Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi" for the list?

I like AUGHfic and Glarunging Badfic.

It fits the heat of the moment usage quite nicely, and expresses the extreme frustration that is likely to be felt upon reading one of these.


Look! Baby dragons!

(Sorry, they are just so darn cute! Even if the image isn't showing up on the preview.)

[url=http://tinyurl.com/33bh6ks][img]http://tinyurl.com/35g8fx9/.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://tinyurl.com/355wm9s][img]http://tinyurl.com/33fd8wu/.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://tinyurl.com/34swvx6][img]http://tinyurl.com/3yr6kno/.gif[/img][/url]

It gets the message across and rolls off the tongue nicely.

... but the glossary made by the BagEnders people gave the meaning of that as "fic written with the intention of squicking as many people as possible", and presumably most of the LBs weren't meant to be as bad as they are, so I don't know if that would work.

I'd vote for Bleepfic, Glaurunging Badfic or AUGHfic, personally.

Crukfic - "cruk" taken from Doctor Who.

MorphFic - wherein the Sue (or Stu) can morph into anything. Applies to Pokemorph fic and Animorphs fic.

Blechfic - NSFB fics. Grab the Bleeprin and the Suebuprofen.

Squickfic - NSFB. "Squick" taken from TVTropes.

C*l-level - on the level of C*l*br**n. Or beyond.

Primarily because it doesn't rely on PPC in-knowledge, like bleepfic, or semi-obscure fandom knowledge, like who Glaurung is.

"Worsefic".

As in, there's badfic, worsefic, and worstfic (aka Legendary Badfic).

Elcalion, coining neologisms

I love those suggestions.

I would suggest SickFic for the list of possibilities, if anyone else likes it. Of the choices already there, I like HorriFic the best.

1.) AUGHfic
2.) ODEfic
3.) Incredibly!Badfic

In order:

1. Abominable Badfic - "abominable" is a fun-to-say and underused word, and very apt without being too specific.

2. Glaurunging Badfic - very PPCish, but harder to say aloud.

3. Bleepfic - also very PPCish. I only worry that all other things Bleep are good things, so people might get confused and think it means fic that takes the pain of badfic away, or something.

I'd like to take back "horrorfic," because that could legitimately describe any fanfic, good or bad, in the horror genre.

~Neshomeh

I took a chance on the second chapter, and have wanted to headdesk at least twice. It's set during the episodes with the Weeping Angels, and Ms. Lakebed (Glod, what a name that is!) is an uberspeshul snowflake with, among other things, a connection to the Angels (her species/family/race? hunts them down and kills them), magical phasing powers, and the ability to cure Amy of turning into an Angel via a magical dreamcatcher.

Definitely a 'Sue, I should think, not to mention that there're various grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors.

I found one not long ago called Alexandra Pond. It's not that bad actually, just a bit OOC and with a Doctor's daughter OC.

I'm always Kirby. Always. And I keep pissing my opponents off by using the forward-B hammer on them. It's funny, until somebody grabs me throws me over the side.

I have seen a lot of SSBB fic, actually. Never read one.

I've played it with friends quite a bit a while back (I'm pretty good with Yoshi).

There's fanfic for it? ...How does that even work?! On second thought, I'd rather not know...

DMS, RC #1110 - Mission 1: "The Smasher"

It wasn't clear which game it was set in, but it might have been Brawl. I don't play myself, though. I just know lots of people who do.

Incidentally, we generally discourage anyone posting multiple threads one after the other (known as double-posting). Each new thread pushes an older one off the front page, which is bad because most people only read the first page.

~Neshomeh

Very nice, I'd really like to see more of these two, as they have an interesting chemistry together.

I don't play Warcraft, but I have to admit, you write well!

I like it; your agents are interesting. A continent made out of humans and elves, turning an entire race into Designated Misogynist Bastards, and a Sue who can't figure out her own species... Fun times.

I don't play WoW, but I'm guessing your agents are using some common abilities from that continuum to take care of the sue, right?

Seems you're having some formatting issues, though; you've got randomly bolded phrases in your mission report. I'm using Firefox, if that helps you any.

1. Cool it with the new threads. Questions are good, but you can ask them in previous threads, such as your intro thread. It also helps to explain what you are talking about.
   
   2. Did you look at the links I gave you? This one in particular might be useful right now, but they are all important and will prevent confusion later on.
   
   ~Neshomeh

A lot of the people on here only log on a couple of times a day. It moves a lot slower than a chatroom.

What exactly are you referring to?

Not sure what you mean, the Board looks more-or-less normal to me.

One thing, though, which you're probably not aware of: multiple posts in quick succession are frowned upon. The reason is that each new post pushes an older post off the other end of theBoard, there to linger in Internet obscurity. So, if you have extra questions, you can ask them in a reply to your intro post, or you can report new badfic as a reply to an existing badfic report, rather than a new post of its own.

Trust me, people still do read slightly-older threads, so you don't have to be at the top of the Board to get noticed.

Welcome, by the way!

Elcalion

...I know Young Wizards and the first two Feline Wizards books.

...and the Feline Wizardry saga is my favorite - I actually read those books before the Young Wizards series itself. If you're still looking for a beta, I'd love to help out.

Haven't read Vorkosigan Saga yet, but I hear it is quite good so I've been meaning to put it on my list. :)

I like the Young Wizards series, though I've only read the first book, but I would like to read more.

Also, I've never read the Vorksoigan Saga. Is it any good?

I'm not sure I make a very good beta - I can proofread, and I can tell when a phrasing or style isn't working, but I can't always figure out or communicate how to fix it - but I'm quite familiar with Young Wizards and the two published Feline Wizards books.

Contrariwise, I know just enough of Vorkosigan - and that purely by osmosis - to know that Barrayar is a major setting there.

I am dependent for reading material mostly on my local library, so that I am often missing one or more books, usually the newest but sometimes the oldest.

I think I've read either one or two of the feline wizards books in the Young Wizards series (I'm more familiar with the ones which feature the human wizards), and about three or four out of the Vorkosigan saga.

So if you can't find someone with a more comprehensive knowledge than that, I'd be willing to help out.

If so, then I'm somewhat familiar with it. I read through Wizard Abroad and own the first in the series. I can also look up any information I need, though if you'd prefer someone who's read all of canon, I understand. And I'm perfectly willing to beta.

I've never even heard of the second, so no problem there.

--anamia

I have recently read this and I don't know why you think this is a badfic. It seems good, people liked it, and few of them reviewed it. In fact most of them are positive especially as of 10/10/11 (That's October 10th, 2011), and they requested to have more chapters. One of the reasons why this was up is because of the sexual talk of the Robot Masters about Roll in MegaMan Powered Up. Plus there is no proof of anything about "robots' sex and society taboos", in fact, most of them involve HUMANS AND ROBOTS TOGETHER! Especially what the parody of the three robotic laws called "The three laws of robotic sexuality" said:

First Law :
A robot may not have sexual intercourse with a HUMAN BEING without his/her agreement, or through inaction, allow this HUMAN BEING to indulge in solitary pleasure.

Second Law :
A robot may obey all the perverse desires of HUMAN BEINGS, except where such behavior would conflict with the FIRST Law.

Third Law :
A robot must protect its virginity as long as such protection does not conflict with the FIRST or SECOND Law.

The only thing we have as close as to a good explanation for ROBOT-ON-ROBOT sexuality is what Dr. Light said here below.

"Incest, in our society, is considered immoral and is indeed illegal… but only to humans. In truth there are no cultural or societal laws that deny robots constructed by the same person to fall in love. This is primarily because there is no real precedent for it, as you two are the first to have true emotional capability (after Blues-san). In truth, many of the traditions that bind humans, as far as our social interactions, do not really apply to robots. Even though you consider yourselves brother and sister, the truth is that the only relation you have is your basic construction, which could be said of a normal, previously unrelated human couple. The fact that you were created by me has nothing to do with it because anyone with my schematics of one of you could have also created you and there might be no real difference. In the end, all that anyone should care about is that you two are happy and that's all there is to it."

And you know what, Dr. Light actually has a good point. The only thing is is that they're not BLOOD related, even when they're made by the same creator. Besides, it seemed unfair that other incarnations of Rockman/Megaman and Roll are not "related", while the classic series does. Also, I know you think it can be repetitive of what's going on, but that sounded like a nitpick. Nitpicking is not a review. Anyways, I thought it would be interesting to see what happens next, but seeing that has been 4 years since, I wish the author would continue.

Anyways, that's all I have to say. Peace!

I'm so NOT allowing Dr Rodney McKay near this.

Lemon being either meaning.

Wow. Slap this one up on the "unclaimed badfic" list. I understand that maybe incest is just another "not my kink" issue, but this is badly-written incest.

BTW, reporting badfic can be done on an old badfic thread, if there's one on the front page, so as to avoid scrolling stuff off the front page. And if you're absolutely sure it's badfic (you know, physically impossible stuff, horrible writing, blatant sues), it can just go straight to the "unclaimed badfic" list.

Very amusing, despite the fact that all I know about Gorillaz is what I've picked up from you. ^_^; It seems to be enough to get by with, though, and you're helpful about explaining things.

But seriously, the things badficcers will try to get away with. Hammerspace lube indeed.

~Neshomeh

Though I'm not certain whether to congratulate you for a very well done riff, or to commiserate with you for having to actually read the gorram thing. Either way, I enjoyed it greatly!

--anamia

Bravo, excellent work! I especially like how you managed to portray Murdoc in this.

And also, R.I.P. Mister Dennis Hopper (sheesh, what is it with celebrities and dying in the summer? It was just as bad last year!)

Aforementioned minor mistakes aside, a good and entertaining mission! Seriously, what is it with sues and dreamcatchers anyway? It's silly.

Thank you for PPC-ing this fic! I was so disgusted upon seeing the info that I didn't go any further.

Really, now...

Well done.

Very nice, though I did notice a few errors in it here and there. You might want to look it over once more...

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1120881/THE_PETE_PETERSON_EXPERIENCE

I'm thinking he's probably writing trollfic, or else he's just amusing himself by killing off characters from many and varied continua in messy and absolutely random ways.

Oh, and there are 90 fics. That's not an accidental zero there.

Did you look at that anti-stereotype thing filling her profile? "I spot grammatical errors, so..." She had it bolded, meaning she thinks it applies to her. Permission to proclaim "Epic fail?".

(It should be said, though, that I agree about not making a list of badfic authors.)

You can certainly report all the badfics one author has made, though we'd prefer not to antagonise anyone by making a list of "badfic authors" - it's rather rude, and there's nothing to say they can't improve later.

Trolls, on the other hand, you can report, if only so we can go and pick through their fanfics for anything mission-worthy. I'm not sure whether this person qualifies.