Mar 2010 Archive, part c

Mixed with coffee and chocolate. Trust me, it works quite well. Unless you use too much of something, in which case it's your own silly fault.

Or, for that matter, Coffee. I don't like the taste of it, even though the smell of Coffee is pretty good. I had really good Chai tea once at a tea shop, but it was loaded with cream, sugar, and other cavity-inducing gunk, so I couldn't really tell what the Chai actually tasted like. Then I had this pear-lemon-honey tea when I had a cold and it was absolutely nasty, even though my parents suggested it to me and said it was good. (Now that I think of it, I've probably got only myself to blame for that nauseating experience because I didn't add any cream or sugar to the tea and drank it straight from the cup. Yuck.) Instead of coffee and tea, I drink hot cocoa. I can't get enough of that drink. Chocolaty and creamy hot cocoa with a handful of marshmallows thrown in and I'm completely happy.

...an assortment of green and black teas (though not at the same time), brewed dark enough to taste and without any milk or sugar. Earl Grey is always good, of course, and so is Darjeeling, and I have yet to taste a white tea I haven't liked.

I'm not exactly a connoisseur, though, so I'll pretty much try anything.

Chai, the kind you buy already brewed, with just a teeny bit of soymilk.

One bag vanilla, one bag peach, with a spoon of sugar.

Two bags of green, straight up. Sometimes with honey or agave.

I couldn't resist using the Star Trek reference, sorry...although Earl Grey is indeed one of my favorites. I have a particular brand of Earl Grey that has double bergamot, and is made of pure awesome.

I like most black teas, and also Chai. Although I don't take Chai with milk OR sugar. I drink it black. But that's partly because I'm too lazy to get milk and sugar to store in my dorm room. And then an assortment of herbals.

I never use lemon, I find the combination of bitter and sour to be unappetizing. I'll use honey if I have a sore throat, and milk when I feel like it.

Either Panyang Congu, mint tea, or Earl Grey (and a couple of times I had something called Paris which was really sweet and sort of exotic and I loved it, but the box was almost empty and ran out really fast). Either I throw a couple spoonfuls in a strainer or toss in a teabag, stew for three minutes, and throw in an ungodly amount of sugar and some milk. Way more milk in the mornings so it becomes cool enough to drink in time for me to actually drink it. (Incidentally, I make it by the moderate-size mug, not the pot, so it comes out pretty strong.)

Random depressing sidenote - Earl Grey tea reminds me of my deceased grandmother more than anything else on Earth. The odd part being I never had a clue she made Earl Grey at the family teas until I took a sip of it as a teenager and recognized the flavor. I guess taste really is an evocative sense.

Ouch. I feel your pain. Personally, I like a weak tea (two bags), left to steep for about thirty minutes in extriemly hot water (to make it strong), plenty of sugar (though honey is preferable), and then enjoyed at a leisurely pace (usually with a good book or peridocial).

I'm actually an Nescafe coffee fan, myself: 1 teaspoon of the granules, a splash of milk, and 3 to 6 spoons of sugar to taste, sometimes more.

I don't think I've had tea since I was 7 or 8. I'd asked for coffee, but some silly nut didn't hear right and gave me tea instead. Anyways, I was a little traumatized and haven't been able to have it since, although I will try it one day!

When I say Earl Grey, you say yes please!
Earl Grey!
Yes please!
Earl Grey!
Yes please!
I enjoy chai too. With a bit of the old moloko... aagh! No! Bad Maudlin! No quoting!
And sugar. I'm one of the few people I know who can actually have sugar.
Of course, my teeth are tannin-stained like really stained things, but it's worth it.

I take them with lots of tea and sugar, and perferably with caramel or chocolate.

Earl Grey: Black, no sugar, slice of lemon.
Breakfast tea: Milky, two sugars and cornflakes (not in the tea)
Green Tea: just tea leaves and water.
Peppermint tea: With a little bit of honey
Decaffeinated tea: Do not drink, it is of the Devil!

I'm mostly a juice/water guy.

When I do have tea, i like it with a fair amount of milk and sugar. I haven't drank enough to really like certain types, but then I rarely have that kind of opinion on any kind of food. I like pretty much everything.

I just don't like Tapioca balls in my tea.

Aaah the joy of Tea (and the joy of the PPC board, where such randomness is celebrated).

I adore black tea with rose petals, slightly sweetened with honey and plenty of cream. However for most of my tea drinking needs I have plain old bog standard tea bags (branded or non-branded, I'm not fussy) quite weak with a lot of milk.

This is in total contrast to my coffee!

I like to think I am a budding connoisseur of tea. I'll try anything once, and if I like it I'll drink it any which way I feel like, depending on the day. Sometimes I'm in a straight-black mood, sometimes a milk-and-sugar mood. However, there are a few things I do consistently:

Chai must be strong, sweet enough to heighten the flavors, and milky, generally about 3/4 water to 1/4 whole milk. A barely-rounded teaspoon of sugar goes in with the teabag (only one, so as to conserve), then water; steep about five minutes, then add milk.

I will drink green tea straight if plain, but if it is flavored, it must have honey--generally about half a teaspoon. Plain sugar just doesn't work as well with green tea.

Earl Grey is my favorite black tea. There is no wrong way to drink Earl Grey as long as it's strong and you can smell the bergamot in the next room.

I prefer the simpler blends of chai, with a few potent, well-balanced ingredients, and no anise. I believe the essentials are cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, clove, and possibly allspice.

My mug is about 10 oz, I think, and it DOES get washed due to the variety of things that get put in it.

The only thing I really don't like is Rooibos. I keep trying it, but I keep coming away disappointed.

~Neshomeh

Earl Grey, preferably with vast quantities of sugar

I generally like a lot of teas (except those of certain brands- I'm looking at you, Lipton). For some reason, I can't really stand anything in my tea, especially sugar. The more bitter, the better. :D I've also taken a liking to herbal teas...

I drink regular black tea with milk and sugar. My mother is constantly telling me that I shouldn't put sugar in as it will rot my teeth. But I do anyway :)

Bad chai is often worse than no chai at all.

Chai's definitely my favorite-- nice and strong (sometimes if I had to buy the weak stuff, I'll throw in a black tea bag, which kind of gives it at least a little strength), with just a little bit of honey, and just enough milk/soy-milk/almond milk (if I am being fiscally irresponsible and currently valuing tea over food, which happens more often than it should) to make it caramel-coloured.

Green tea is good, too, with lemon especially, and black tea if we've got any milkstuffs. I can't drink that stuff black, even with an ungodly amount of sugar. Guh. When there's no milkstuffs around, herbal teas are good-- ginger especially (made my first mug of fresh ginger tea the other day, absolutely amazing), or mint. Tazo makes three different mint teas that I can think of, all quite good if you can find them marked down.

As for tea substitute? I used to steer clear of coffee 'cos of the whole fair-trade thing (as in, affordable coffee is morally objectionable, and good coffee is too expensive), but since I got a job at a little soup restaurant and am allowed one meal per five hour shift, I allow myself a Starbucks mocha before work (they're just across the plaza). It's quite good!

...Mmmm, tea. Think I'll go make some. >_>

After over twenty years of asking my parents still don't seem to remember that I don't drink coffee. They claim they ask on the off-chance that I have begun drinking coffee since they last saw me. Which is fair enough, but then why ask me on Saterday after know whether I drink coffee and again in the evening of that same day?

I'm a tea drinker. Meanwhile green tea with a touch of lemon these days. Used to drink lots of Earl grey. Washed my mug about once a three month period. Usually shortly after someone asked me why I put a tea bag in my coffee.

Instant coffee made with five spoons of sugar, three spoons of coffee and three-quarters milk to one quarter boiling water.

50% coke, 50% raspberry syrup.

Lemonade with a scoop of vanilla icecream (known locally as a spider drink because a restaurant chain here, about fifteen years ago, ran a promotion involving this drink with a plastic spider toy in it).

Water. Preferably hard. Or alternatively bore water with that distinctive composty aftertaste (I grew up on it. It's the unmistakeable taste of the soil of home).

I keep a teapot, strainer and several tins of tea leaves on my desk at work. Lately, I've started drinking Russian Caravan tea, no milk, with lots of sugar, to get the mixed smoky and sweet flavours.

Strong, black, normal tea. We're on PG Tips at the moment, cos there was no Tetley's on cheap.

Pint-and-a-half mug. (Which never gets washed, because the limescale scum and the crust adds flavour.)

Teabag first, then water. Leave to stew for at least the duration of a fag. (Roll, not straight. Ie at least seven minutes.)

A decent splash of milk, so it's the colour of a rich tea biscuit (NOT a digestive).

No sugar.

And since I'm lazy and the kettle's downstairs and it takes twenty minutes to brew in a cup that size, we just throw in teabag, hot water, stir, milk, and leave the bag in. By the time it's cool enough to drink (ie in fifteen minutes) it's brewed properly.

I do enjoy my chai. I take it as strong and spicy as possible. Also, fairly sweet and with enough milk to turn it a pleasant caramel color.

I also like fruit teas. I take those with nothing but sugar, and plenty of that.

I have a tendency to experiment with mixing different teas together. Fruit and chai actually works rather well in a couple of circumstances.

You would think that such a valuable implement would be standard issue here . . .

I didn't bring an extra towel, as I'm new myself . . .

But you can share mine . . .




P.S. I like ellipsis.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's an archery set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin!

I gift you with a coxcomb. It's a kind of silly hat, and no one can act too serious while wearing one. Welcome to the Board!

Hi there!

Have some Awesome Sauce (it is sauce which is awesome), and a bag of funny little green pills (if you find out what they do I'd love to know)!

Hello and welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Greetings from another Noob! Here is a Flash Suit. Hope it fits! If it doesn't, just take it to the teachers. They make fine jury-riggers. Good luck! and Down with the Formics!

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's some jam and beer.

Another Stock gift!

They breed like Rabbits.

Nice to meet you, Ruin (may I call you that?), I'm Makari.
I shall shower upon you the traditional newbie-gift. In my case, it's a flame-retardant leash and harness set, brain-sized. Just on the off-chance that your mind tries to wander.

Look forward to seeing you around. ^^ May I inquire as to your favored fandoms, and your work~?

Welcome to the board. Does this mean I'm no longer the rookiest of rookies?

Hey, feel free to pull up and stay awhile. You'll need to in order to become an agent. (A month.) In the meantime, I hope you have fun. See you around!

Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Have a venomous arthropod! You may...not...need gloves.

...And I thought my introduction thread was serious sounding...

Anyways. Hello and welcome.

Fair winds!

Hi, Ruin, it's pretty neat that you want to join us.

You're welcome to hang around the Board as a Boarder, but for to write PPC missions, you should wait around at least a month and be active here as well. ^_^


Hehh, whoops, killed the other one. >.>; Don't try to reply to that one, my HTML ate the buttons.

Hi, Ruin, it's pretty neat that you want to join us.

You're welcome to hang around the Board as a Boarder, but for to write PPC missions, you should wait around at least a month and be active here as well. ^_^

No need to be so formal, and welcome to the PPC! Have a large egg of dubious origin. No clue what's in it.

This could be the reason for so many new people. I must say that it's my excuse for joining. If you don't like it, ask them to take it off. As for the picture, I figured it was something you put there. Mayhaps conjured it up.

...there's a wiki for gaudy multi-colored Warriors fan-fiction characters? I thought those things only existed on Proboards.

Ours being on there probably helps explain all the newbies we've been getting just recently.

*has no time to do anything but blink, but blinks nonetheless*

Weird.

...by the fact that there's apparently a Pop Tart wiki.

We don't know why they put us there, or why they chose that image. Not a clue.

The image, however, is one that I cobbled together for a cover for my fanmix. It can be seen here.

~Neshomeh

Welcome back, and, nice to meet you. I must admit I was thinking of trying to tackle some 80's cartoon missions if I pass the basic training. There seems to be a fair bit of it on FF.net

Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. I don't know Transformers canon enough to help you, so sorry in that respect.

I've been diversifiying my stock gifts lately.

Welcome back to the Board! Please deposit any sanity you may have acquired in your time away from us in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* We'll dispose of it for you. Also, here's a lovely bunch of coconuts!

I don't recognize you, but likely you don't recognize me either, so is all good. I'm Makari, welcome back and nice to meet you~!

I write Kat and Samuel, DMS Freelance, but so far 'Freelance' has apparently translated to 'mostly things no one has heard of.' :P Still, they're here if you're really bored.

I try very hard to stay away from giant robots, especially Transformers, given all the incarnations that canon has gone through. It's enough to drive a poor crow crazy. Still, if there's something especially atrocious relating to the 2000-something movie that no one else will tackle... well.

Anyway, here, have a handy flame-retardant brain-sized leash, perfect for when your mind tries to wander, and hope to see you around, on the Board if not the chat. ^^

Does one get gifts for returning? I suppose...

...so, here is your brand-spanking-new bag of puncuation, for all of your punctuation needs! And also, if you've got time, you should totally check out my MSTs.

Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

I have an introduction piece here:

http://miah-arthur.livejournal.com/

I might be able to finish my first Mission this month. RL is kicking sand in my face right now, but I am going to try to finish it.

In honor of your return, have a bark scorpion! They can climb pretty much anywhere, the walls, the ceiling, your legs...

The only Transformers stuff I was ever interested in was the Beast Wars, and I suspect that's too old to be getting much fanfiction. *shrugs*

An excuse to plug, you say? Well, shucks!

You can find all of my work from the following hub: http://starshadowhall.tripod.com/ppc/index.html I'm not sure what you've seen and what you haven't, though. When did you stop coming?

And, if you're interested in some OLDER missions you might not have seen, allow me to direct you to the PPC Lost Tales archive.

Enjoy!

~Neshomeh

Fair winds!

...but what's a fanmix?

Lots of good songs on this one. Watchmen, Halo, Monty Python, Dr. Mario...My guesses as to the bonus tracks were way off, but probably better than what i thought they were...

Thanks for the fanmix. Pretty cool stuff there, some of which I'd never heard.

What I can get of it is beyond entertaining, and quickly wearing a track into my brain. Your efforts are greatly appreciated. :D Number seven, in particular, is probably one of my new favorite songs and perfect for the subject matter, I think.

Now if I could figure out how to get sound out of the things that are .wma and .m4a, life would be perfect. One wonders if the tech-types around the Board might have input on the subject?

Connor Larch, a former DMS Agent. He's due to appear in a backstory piece I'm currently working on, as the boyfriend of my DBS Agent Dana Trent.

Well, you could use Yamada Tarou (山田太郎) and Yamada Hanako (山田花子), the Japanese equivalents of John and Jane Doe.

I must admit, I've never actually read any Tamora Pierce books, but that was a highly entertaining PPC nonetheless. Good job slaying another evil 'Sue.

That was a bad fic. I don't know how you two survived PPCing it. I would have run away screaming and burning things, or I would have ended up laughing madly for hours. That prophesy was utterly ridiculous. (Why do Suethors have to have a prophesy for everything the characters majorly do?) I had to stifle my laughter for about five minutes straight in order to get myself under control. Overall, it was a very funny and enjoyable mission. You did a good job, you two.

Spoilers for Squire ahead!

I only have one nitpick (because I'm currently rereading Squire at the moment) and that is that Kel did meet Alanna before she was knighted. Kel saw Alanna for the first time during that scene in Squire with the Yamani women playing with the red fan (when Neal almost cut his fingers off by barging into the game). She met Alanna for the first time when Alanna was dinner partners with Raoul at that certain banquet where Kel dropped the finger bowl and spilled water all over Alanna and Raoul's clothing. Kel and Alanna spoke of some things concerning Kel's training and her griffin. So Alanna met Kel outside of public functions once Kel was knighted, yes, but Kel did speak to Alanna as a squire.

I kind of feel bad for making fun of that fic all if she actually is/was special needs.

I mean, it doesn't remove from the importance of having and using a beta, but yeah.

Nyah dead god..... I glanced at some of it and I think I have just burned a hole in my retinas.

None of that fapnel is in any of my fandoms! I have an excuse not to read it! Nyah.

We can only hope that it's better than that total abomination...

1/ Not explained. I seem to recall Vemi and myself thinking of the fluid in the pods as a superenergetic liquid (which is an absurdity of physics; basically imagine they crammed as much energy as possible in without the pods bursting), but the process is thoroughly undefined. I'd say that 'Suifying someone would be a) impossible and b) pointless. Impossible because superenergetic fluid is likely deadly, and pointless because they've perfected cloning. "Resource-intensive" is fairly unimportant for anyone with plothole access. Also bear in mind that these aren't humans/etc we're talking about -- Mary-Sues have glitter for blood.

2/ In our minds, the Mary-Sue Factory was one of the primary sources of 'Sues. In my particular mind, a Mary-Sue is simply a walking nexus of plotholes. Intentionally or not, they manipulate the world around them in profoundly unnatural ways. The Factory must have worked out how to create nexuses (This is all being invented on the fly, here). However, 'brainwashed into servitude' is right out. These are clones and created beings. You don't brainwash them -- you create their minds from scratch (or templates). They can be controlled directly (the Mysterious Somebody did that) but they're not usually an army. It's best to make them annoying and just turn them loose.

3/ Defectives are what the name suggests -- defective. They're the result of the construction process going wrong at some point. The reason they're usually colourless is that a failure at an earlier stage is usually fatal. They're probably slightly less annoying than normal Sues, if only because they're staff -- they need to be people the Flowers can work with, rather than just be irritated by.

4/ The answer to this is the answer to question 3: either a Defective or a dead 'Sue and a quick recycle. In The Reorganisation, the entire original Factory was set to recycle, resulting in every single 'Sue under construction being dissolved. Also, as someone mentioned, if an Agent found a Factory, she'd either be killed or report it to Upstairs, who'd attack in force. Mary-Sue Factories are very bad things.

5/ Probably a combination. They don't need constant supervision, but at least the initial setup is external. They can also be set to recycle at any point. I guess they could probably change anything which isn't initialised yet.

6/ The Factories are essentially miniature versions of HQ. They have Defectives instead of Agents, but there are still Flowers in each one. They aren't robotic places pumping out 'Sues, unless someone wrote something I've not read. They're also covered by Someone Else's Problem fields (or at least the original was).

7/ Nothing. DoSAT could do everything the Factories do if they wanted to, but why bother? Cloning, personality-creation, mixing genetics... they're all canon technologies. Remember the original Factory was actually set up by members of the PPC.

8. Again, 'learn of' is impossible. Every sentient Flower was a former member of the PPC (since the only way they can be created is through a portal set up in HQ), so they already know about World One. It's one world in an infinite Multiverse -- there's nothing particularly worth invading there. Also, to be honest, 'Sues do not work well together. The DTE once let a pair of them kill each other over which was the most beautiful. There have been two armies of 'Sues that I know of -- one under heavy mind-control (during Crashing Down), and one unleashed during the 2008 invasion. That one didn't work as an army, but as a collection of overpowered individuals bent on wreaking havoc.

Also bear in mind that the Flowers of the Factories are doing all this for pretty much two purposes: to afflict the PPC and to gain power/money/etc. The PPC is far better assailed in the way they're currently doing it (eg, Fanfiction.net), and there's not much to be gained from outright invasion.

As to whether individual 'Sues could make a living for themselves in World One -- some would say they already have. :P

hS

PS: Remember that all of the above is only my opinion. I created one Factory; someone else invented the League. The PPC is community property. ~hS

1) I have absolutely no idea, and I believe the answer depends entirely on the author-- hS, I think?

2) Again, what a "normal" Sue is, and what these Sues do, and what the difference is, and if these Sues are following the Words that we can't see... up to their authors, I believe. Personally, I'd long ago begun a story where 'Sues were born/made, in an OFU-style academy. It was a backstory, not an Event, though...

3) No idea. Perhaps if I knew what Defectives were...

4) I thought that'd already been a plot of a story somehow? (Also, wouldn't agents who knew about it, rather than rowdy vandalism, be into a full-on attack?)

5) Again, the author and creator of those pods knows... whoever that is. (I'm almost certain it's hS.) If you'd Permission not only to write Missions, but to use this idea, you'd probably have to ask him.

6 - 8
We write this canon, Max. Asking stuff like this... how can I put it? It's like if you're trying to develop an awesome game in a universe you're helping a handful of people make up, and it's a few years into development, and you keep asking "But what if this character does this? Does this griffin the character rides need food, or does it just graze?" The answer is generally "Look at the guidelines, and then-- what do -you- think?" If you get Permission, a decent beta, and approval, use your own discretion.

That said... It looks like what you're planning is a big-huge-cataclysmic-style Event. I'm fairly sure we've got a ban on those at the moment, in favor of just writing straight-up Missions, because the PPC was becoming some kind of Apocalypto-world. So... yeah. Once you've got Permission, you still need to ask the 'Board to do something like a Sue invasion of World One or what have you. It's... like I said. It's like trying to develop a world, with all these little stories, so most often when you've got little specific questions like "How does this work?" you can just think a bit and ask someone with a little experience to beta your ideas. But when you've got some huge, gigantic, world-shaking idea that's going to involve everyone, will they or no, you've got to -ask-.

Hope at least some of this was helpful. >_>

One moment... After much rummaging, I have found you a very shiny clockwork monkey on a tricycle. And one authentic copy of Hermione Granger's Beaded Purse of Holding.

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

I even shampooed it to bring the sparkle out!

Fair winds!

A trick, huh? Behold!

*reveals a Goliath Brid-Eating Spider in his hand*

Now...watch closely...

*waves his other hand dramatically over the spider*

Ta-da! It's gone! Just kidding; it hasn't disappeared, it's just down the back of your shirt collar! Have fun with your new pet.

(Don't worry, they aren't aggressive. Unless you're a bird.)

Welcome to the PPC. I hope you'll stay. *rummages* Well, I can't do tricks, but I can give you a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Will they persuade you to stay? *puppy face*

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. Have fun stabbing things.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a mental image of Saruman sinking through a floor while stroking his beard. If you're really nice to me, I won't send you a link to the fic I got it from.

Here you go, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies. Use them IRresponsibly!

Indeed, it is interesting here.

Nice to meet you.

I have a gift for you. It is a tiny mechanical Deathstar. It is fully operational and can be used to destroy tiny mechanical planets and moons. It may also be useful if you need to light candles.

Have some Awesome Sauce (good with chips), and some little green pills!

Welcome to the board!

Hey there, Ethanuel! Have a PPG from a fellow newbwad. Try not to shoot your foot off!

Might I ask what fandoms you belong to?

Oh, and hang around here for a few hours, and you'll have enough shiny things dumped upon you that you can hardly move.

-Mr. Eldritch

*Waves a shiny button*

Does that work? And hi fellow newbie. I hate to break it to you.... but you've already got up the gumption to actually say something.

If you could send a copy to my e-mail address (exswyzie14 [at] yahoo [dot] com), it will ensure that it doesn't get lost. It could be a while before I get to it, since I intend to do the prizes in order and you're number 11 on the list. No offense!

Congrats on "winning," by the way. {= )

~Neshomeh

Defiantly entertaining. A pleasure to read. But whats this about a "permission request"?

I quite enjoyed that story. Well done.

Here have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Use them IRresponsibly!

I see everyone else has already given you ample resources to answer your questions.

Welcome! I gift you with a coxcomb, which is a silly sort of hat.

Hello! I see Neshomeh came through, so I'm assuming you have your links (xie is an angel about posting them), and I'm new enough to be sorta useless anyway, but have a big cookie and a magician's top hat to keep things in. (I don't recommend putting it on...)

Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Boards! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it. Here's some pocky, too.

And a new question, now. Is an Agent allowed to work for multiple departments? Failing that, can I submit characters to
several departments?

*pokes*

I am indeed seconding everything July said, but I will add that the very first thing you should do is to read the Original Series. Yes, all of it. It's, well, the original PPC series. That is what started it all. Everything we do is based on it and merely attempts to do it homage. In essence, it is our canon, and everything else is optional.

I'm glad to see that you found and read the Constitution on your own. Sometimes people miss it. Kudos! *gives snack bars*

And, of course, welcome. {= D

~Neshomeh

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a Glitter-proof shield from the Raven Armory (it can't be Suefied and it can act as a back-up wall to block out the sight of Bad Things). Also, here is a bottle of bleeprin. I can't help much with the links you need, but I think others have it sorted out somewhat, anyway.

What's your favorite venomous arthropod? I'm sure I have one in the gift sack here for you...

Welcome! Here is a pocket-watch with the power to make you incredibly distracted.

What were we talking about again?

Im fairly new (very much so) as well. Welcome to the PPC. Enjoy your stay! Since you are wanting to be an Assassin, here is somehting useful. An Imperial Sardukar knife. I have no freeman blades handy, sorry, but this should be sufficient should you ever be hunting a Dune Mary Sue. Happy Hunting!

It is trained as a guard Tribble, so be careful, it bites!

As a fairly newbie I welcome you to the board, have a stuffed Emu. You never know when it may come in handy.

Hi, Kallisti!

I'm guessing you found us through the Wikia advertisement thing? Or elsewise? Please tell, we're curious. Welcome. ^^

Okay, number the one:

While the Constitution does say it can be signed, in reality it hasn't had any new signatures added to it for a few years now. Since P@L's site, the Oddlots one has gone down, and we've rehosted the Constitution elsewhere, we can in theory add to it once more, but I'm not the one in charge of it so one could possibly presume that either we're not editing it out of respect for the original signers who have pretty much nearly all disappeared, or that we're too lazy to get around to having it so that people can sign again.

Number the two:

That is a very excellent question!

We have an entire article on our wiki about permission to write PPC missions there, as well as a <a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:ForNewbies">guide to the PPC in general, as well as a <a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/FAQ:ForNewbies">guide for newbies who are about to write their own spin off.

The best way to go about becoming an assassin is to read as many spin offs as you can before you dive into writing. The most important things for anyone who's about to start their own missions or before they even get into the idea of writing a spin off is that we're about good writing and humor, first and foremost. You can say that this is educational (because it is!) since we're learning how to be good writers ourselves and what makes bad fanfiction bad (protip: What makes badfic bad is the same stuff that makes bad original fiction bad). It's not about just badfic and being disparaging about badfic and Mary Sues.

Once you've been around for roughly a month (I personally encourage you to spend longer than a month to hang around and get to know everyone and read as much as you can; when I joined, I waited three months before I asked for permission) you just show a writing sample, your current vague idea for agents, and ask. People will comment on it, and at some point a Permission Giver will tell you you're good and ready to go if you are indeed good and ready to go. If you're not, you can always take some time to figure out where you went wrong and try again [if you don't annoy anyone too much. ;)].

Number the third:

As the person who founded/created the wiki in the first place, my personal opinion woudl be to read EVERYTHING ON THE WIKI SECOND to as much as you can from the <a href="http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/TheCompleteListofPPCFiction"> and the List of Everything PPC.

That said, everything under the "PPC Intro Pages" Sidebar section would be a good place to start as well.

Again, you're very welcome, we'd like you to stay if you enjoy yourself (and we want you to enjoy yourself!) and if you can play along with our rules and the general quirky traditions that endure as a whole for the PPC community.

And if you ever have the time or inclination, you're welcome to join some of us on the PPC Chatroom as well. I promise we'll try and make sure Maslab doesn't cannibalise you.

A sentient one. Fair winds!

The type of fics that prompt this suggestion are annoying, because they are such an insult to the many folks who write ESL and do really well. I know quite a few, and many of them have better grammar skills than I do as a native speaker. Then there are the people that completely come across as ESL that are just really pathetic native speakers. All of it seems to go back to the excuse list "I'm only 15 and I fail my English classes!" (I saw this on the other day on the pit.)

It might make an interesting bit of trouble for the agents to try to decide if they should send a fic to the Babelfish folks, or just charge as a totally incompetent native speaker. Maybe if it really seemed like the author had some chance of being brought to the goodfic side of things, it could be written sort of like the author correspondence stuff used to be. Not that there would have to be any actual correspondence, just that the agents could claim there was. If any of that babbling made sense.

1) I think--not very experienced, so I don't know for certain--that unintentional comedy is probably a common trait of many or even most badfics that would still be another department's purview. I'm not certain this needs to be its own department, although I'm not especially opposed to the idea.

2) I like this, but I don't think it needs to be its own department either. My proposal would be to have the Department of WTF offer Interpreter courses to any interested agents, and when an especially incoherent badfic is assigned to a department it is passed on to the department's qualified Interpreters, or to another department if there are none available.

The first one could be good for laughs, but I think it's one of those things that needn't officially exist until people actually use it as a joke in the course of actual mission-writing. There's LOTS of stuff it would be fun to have/do, but we don't want a Hogfather situation, with theoretical constructs popping into existence just because someone once suggested it somewhere. ... Well, okay, it kind of does actually work like that at times. But I'd personally rather have it be something suggested in-universe than ex-universe. Probably because I want to see people writing missions. {= )

I don't really understand where you're going with the second one at all. The badfic is badfic no matter the language, and a poor translation is pretty easily spotted by anyone; so, badly-translated fics can be handled by anyone, and badfic in other languages can only be handled by people who speak it anyway. Not to mention that in-universe, the agents are all equipped with Universal Translators. So, what would such a department actually DO that isn't being done already?

~Neshomeh

I like both ideas.

For 2) we need to play it by ear like you said. There needs to be a distinction between someone who is actually trying, and someone who is simply completely out of their depth. I'd bet there's quite bit of people who try to learn English by way of their fandom, or maybe even *because* of their fandom. Learning a language can be a tender process and while publishing your work online exposes you automatically to all kinds of crazies like us, it's not cricket to make fun of them for trying to learn.

Could consider a department for foreign language fics if there isn't one yet. Though the traffic there might be low.

Many a time I've been reading a dramatic part of a fic, to find that bad spelling has caused outright hilarity! I'm reminded of a Star Wars fic I read a few years ago, I forget its name. However, in a particularly tense part of the otherwise good plot, the lead character 'realised that the orgasms in the water were actually fish!' (Should have been organisms, obviously...) I lold and the tension was ruined!

Entertaining mission. The first I've read in the Redwallverse. Look forward to reading more on this pair.

I especially enjoyed the use of Chekov's Ketchup. *g*

And I like Kestrel. You handle her accent very well.

*sings*

Theeese are the good times
In RC two-seven-three
Ferahgo's not OOC
The Sue's been lost at sea
Liiiife is flowing, like ketchup on your sleeve!
Ketchup! (For the good times.) Ketchuuuup!

~Neshomeh

What do you want, then? I can't do prizes if you guys don't tell me what you want!

I still haven't heard from Trojie, Miah, Bronwyn, Rosie, or Meip. Speak up! I'd like to do these in order of posting, so it's important.

Feel free to e-mail me at exswyzie14 (at) yahoo (dot) com, especially if you are requesting an image. The more details you can give me about what you want drawn, the better I can make it. {= )

~Neshomeh, off to actually read the mission now.

Agents Derik and Earwig will no doubt attend, if only because Earwig wandered in at random and Derik came after him in the hopes of conducting damage control. But DO be sure to put any valuables above 5 feet from the floor. And bolting them down and lighting them on fire wouldn't hurt, either.

Derik: Flaming Denethor? ... All right, I'll bite. Serve Earwigputthatback it up! Not like my face can get much more burned than it already is.

~Neshomeh

Huzzah! Happy Gondorian New Year! *Takes a plate of lembas*

Have fun at the party! ...However that works.

Let us celebrate, until the next evil comes (as it must, for even Sauron was only a servant/emissary)!

Happy new year!!!

Yay for stewed rabbit, not raw rabbit, like Golem. And yay for miruvor and mushrooms!

"Frodo! Frodo Baggins! Bravest little Hobbit of them all!"

Now poor Sauron had no friend to help him at the end, not even an Orc or a slave (Orc! Orc!)
*runs, giggling*

Not the nacrotic kind, but still yummy! Let's gorge on them!
*Takes out a basket of mushrooms and begins wolfing them down*

Happy Gondorian New Year! *wanders over to join the party and fills up a plate with stew* Mmm, rabbit. Delicious.

Are rookies invited? Or do we have to sit outside in the hallway and just listen to the party?

How do I get there? I saw a link somewhere, but never bookmarked it.

be careful though, you don't want me getting drunk and singing "A Wizards Staff has a Knob on the End".

I was inspired to create...the Characterization Variation Ratio (C):

C=(#OOC Canons + #OC's) ÷ #Major Canons

Or, in words: You add the number of out-of-character canons to the number of original characters. Then, divide that sum by the number of canons who figure prominently in the fic. The closer the answer (C) is to zero, the closer the characters in the fic are to their canon selves; the closer to 1 C is, the further from canon they are.

As an example, let's use a hypothetical HP badfic which heavily features Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Dumbledore, Snape, the Weasley twins and a Mary-Sue. In this fic, the Sue figures things out before Hermione, the twins are fighting over who gets to date the Sue, and Dumbledore is ignoring Harry in favor of some prophecy or other involving the Sue.

This leaves us with eight canons, four of whom are OOC, and one original character. For our ratio, this gives us an 8 in the denominator (bottom) and 4 and 1 in the numerator (top). So C=(4+1)÷8 which simplifies to the fraction 5/8. This is a little greater than one half, so this fic's characters, as a whole, are a bit more than halfway against canon.

If all these canons had been OOC, C would have been 9/8 which is greater than 1, signifying a very OOC group of characters. If all the canons had been in character, C would be 1/8, which is relatively small, signifying that the Mary-Sue is maybe the only real problem (barring weird occurences in the story itself).

There are a few things to keep in mind here. This ratio only takes the characters into account. Whether or not the story they appear in is good or bad fic depends on how it's handled; an alternate universe fic could still be goodfic despite having the characters behave differently than in the canon. Additionally, OC's may themselves not be Mary Sues or otherwise fit into the canon universe well. In these cases, you may want to ignore them if they're bit characters, or even include them as canon characters if they are an important part of the story. Finally, if the story includes ALL original characters, you may want to split them between canon-friendly and canon-unfriendly, to avoid dividing by zero (mathematically impossible).

In conclusion, this ratio probably won't work in every case, and it may be a matter of opinion as to whether any given canon is acting OOC enough to be counted (likewise whether an OC is bad enough). Still, it's a relatively quick way to generally determine how far the characters in a fic have fallen from where they should be.

D seems to be hard to compute, but that's more of a sidenote than anything.

There really isn't any unified science to what we do - we write for fun, we pick targets based on their potential for entertainment, and so on. As what we're writing really isn't saving the universes, I don't see any massive need to enforce rules about what is a valid target and what isn't.

That said, multiversal metaphysics are fun. I've always thought of a continuum as a sort of a rope - each story is a strand, and they're generally heading in the same direction. Badfics deviate from that in some dimensional space (as characterizations are at least several dimensions each), and thus weaken the story line. What we do is running around pruning badfics, keeping storylines at least roughly in line.

Also, I'd like to note that there's a difference between deviating from the canon and badfic. There was one fic I read in which the West was North America, history continued about as it has (with the elves hiding when Columbus et all arrived), and the various characters from LoTR reincarnated at some future, post-nuclear-war point. Obviously, said fic couldn't touch the events of canon with a ten-foot pole, but it was goodfic. The biggest complaint I had with it was the amount of angsting that Arwen did.

(And yes, it is 'canon' with a single n. A 'cannon' is a large gun, a 'canon' is the body of work that is agreed upon as official for any story.)

Are you planning to open the department of statistical probabilities? I presume this is the kind of maths the Flowers use to assign badfics to agents. So long as rookies don't have to use it.... I think my heads hurting just trying to cogitate the possibilities. ;)

No idea what some of your terms referred to, though. For instance, I'd probably understand "tv tuner" and "audio input" if described, but I can't pin them to specific things off the top of my head. Alas.

~Neshomeh

No problem!

Done. Although my ignorance depresses me a little--I didn't even realize a significant portion of TVs could adjust the bass.

I look forward to the results, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for surveys.

That question about system equipment made me realize how little I know about televisions...

Which reminds me...

I have invalidated your results. Muahahaha!

Since taking that survey, I have read the original stories. All in one sitting with only short breaks for food. It was...longer than I thought it would be. Well worth it, though.

Babies always get me. Just about any type of baby. Well, any type of mammalian baby, that is. I think it is the innocence and the clumsiness. It is so cute to watch all types of babies try to coordinate themselves.

Awkward attraction gets me every time. See Exhibit A, Pride & Prejudice (with Keira Knightley), with its awkward conversations and long, awkward pauses that send me into spasms of delighted giggles and "aww"s. Also, Mr. Darcy's perpetual kicked puppy face in that movie is hilariously sweet. And I'd have to second you on odd/voluntary families. I'm in one, and I think they are so adorable.

(...I am also known to make embarrassing noises when there are newborn babies around. But shhhh, don't tell.)

For me, it's bunnies, kitties and puppies, oh, and baby chicks. Heck, I even think baby humans are adorable too.

I find cats terribly cute (and of course evil), especially kittens. In fact all baby animals with the exception of Canines Make me squee.

I also think that the Great and Terrible Dalek Gerald is very cute, but that may just be me!

Any kind, from weasels to wolverines. Seriously, despite the fact that they are just as horribly violent as Brian Jacques portrayed them, wolverines look like teddy bears with feather-dusters stuck to their behinds. D'aawwww.

On the human side of things, really skinny and cheerful-but-slightly-dim young male characters tend to bring out my squeeing side. (This counts for the innocent kind of "cute" because I'm asexual. I just wanna hug 'em ^_^) This is probably why I enjoy writing Agent Drake so much.

I like rabbits. They're cute and dumb. Also, cuttlefish, because they have the sweetest eyes ever. And goats.
I could tell you more. Is "cute" the same thing as "huggable"?

Any baby bird. Actually, any bird period, to be honest. Owls, emus, hornbills, seagulls, pigeons...but not cassowaries. They're just scary.

My cute buttons are probably all baby mammals. Even human babies, even though I don't think they're so cute after I have to take care of them for a few hours. Ah well. They're cute for an hour or so, depending on their mood. My other cute buttons are also some canon couples and even some non-canon couples. (Like how I find the canon pairing of LotR's Sam and Rosie very cute and how I find the non-canon pairing of Neville and Luna from the Harry Potter series also cute as well. I actually probably still like the non-canon pairing simply because I used to think it was canon.)
What other things do I find cute? Ladybugs, pandas, stuffed animals, Zero from "Nightmare Before Christmas", and I could probably go on forever here.

I do believe the only thing I see as cute are the Vocaloids, namely Miku Hatsune.

Ive got a bit of a fanboy complex, I must admit.

But I just can't help it . . .

Great . . . now my buttons are all over the floor.

I think they're so adorable!

People snuggled up together is also cute. Several of my WIPs have characters in that sort of position, for various reasons - post-sex, collapsed after training, fallen asleep comforting each other. It's just so easy to make cute.

Most baby animals fail to impress, but I have a soft spot for cats, and by extension kittens.

I don't usually go in for cute, though. Many of my friends have been very surprised to see my reaction to a kitten.

I have made a list (not including things I intend to write):

1. So You've Decided to Become a PPC Agent

ii. Expanding that acronym [Who we are and what we do]


3. Department of What, Now?

iii. Action Extended descriptions of the Action Departments

iv. Infrastructure Extended descriptions of the Infrastructure/Admin. Departments

v. Charge lists and what to include [General and department-specific]


4. So We Were Stupid Enough to Give You a Weapon

iii. 'My bowstring just snapped' [Creative assassinations]

iv. Borrowed weapons [The use of 'Sue-weapons]

v. No need for a graveyard [Disposal of bodies]


5. How to Pick Out a Mary-Sue

ii. 'Arms and legs and everything' [Physical hints]

iii. OMG teh ANGST!!1 [Emotional/backstory hints]

iv. 'Phenomenal Cosmic Power!' [Hints from their effects]

v. It's On Your Console for a Reason Push the red button


7. Fandoms (I'm actually not sure this book strictly needs to exist, but if anyone has ideas, go for it.)

i. Where You Might Get Swept Off To [List of covered fandoms]

ii. The Elder Days – LotR [LotR-verse. Brief Canon summary, common mistakes and useful information]

iii. Modern Magic – Potterverse [Potterverse. Brief Canon summary, common mistakes and useful information]

iv. [On through the main fandoms] [Yeah, I ran out of ideas. Same as the previous two for any fandoms deemed large enough]


8. Canon and What Not to Do With It

i. Home from Home Spending a lot of time in Canon can have its downfalls

iv. Fire and Water – wholesale devastation [Please don't destroy areas of the Canon]

v. Don't Try This At Home [Story collapses and other end-of-the-world scenarios]


10. Time and Space – Official Fanfiction Universities, Minis, and sundry other fandom-related organizations

i. Miss Cam and her legacy [The nature of the OFUs. A list of OFUs]

ii. A first time for everything – OFUM [Notes on OFUM]

iii. Exchange program – HFA [Notes on HFA. Other major OFUs can be added in subsequent chapters if deemed necessary]

iv. 'It's not spelt like that!' [Minis and what to do with them]

v. We are not alone [Other trans-dimensional organisations – ISPCE, DCPS, even perhaps things like Jurisfiction]


So! If any of you want to help out, just let me know what you're claiming and leave me your e-mail address so I can make a note of it and know how to contact you. {= ) Also, this stuff is not and never was set in stone, so if you have ideas for additional/alternative content, we'd be interested in that, too.

Again, the Manual's e-mail address is ppc.manual (at) googlemail (dot) com.

~Neshomeh

The thing is, we lack people who feel qualified/willing to write the chapters, and the two of us who were on the original Manual Team can't do it by ourselves. We were actually discussing it not too long ago and had a couple of volunteers, but then there's the issue of organizing the effort. And... well, frankly the thread fell off the Board, so that kind of ended it at that time.

But eventually we'll probably do something about it. And of course, any and all help would be greatly appreciated. You don't actually have to be all that qualified. For instance, since you just got through the Original Series, you know the basics and therefore are perfectly qualified. If there happen to be details that came later, either I or my editor-in-chief, Huinesoron, will notice and add it in. {= )

Also, the Manual has an e-mail address: ppc.manual (at) googlemail (dot) com. Yes, that is googlemail, not gmail. Please send any articles there. We may not check it right away, but at least that way anything Manual-related will end up in one place.

~Neshomeh

In one story, Arwen had been replaced by Child!Arwen, a Sue who warped Elrond way out of character. They found the original Arwen imprisoned in a nonexistant room on the other side of the plot hole that had allowed Elrond to sip constantly from a glass of wine without ever refilling it. So all you need is to find a plot hole, and the other side could be the prison of the original Legolas and Obi-Wan.

I'd say he has to be one character or the other, but brainwashed to think he's both. So, the solution would be neuralyzation and fetching the other character from a plothole. If it's a very extreme case, such that you'd be wiping his entire memory or something, then you'd probably have to take him to FicPsych to get his personality back. I bet they keep them on file.

~Neshomeh

I'd imagine that they would. It seems like you could get a lot of good material out of that too.

"I never knew human bodies were so disgusting. Do you know how often they urinate? A lot!"

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

Don't feed it Sues or Stus. It's purpose is to serve as a mascot, nothing more.

...our ranks are swelling. Welcome. Please help yourself to all of the beverages you desire. They are free, but sadly they all taste of snark.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. Have fun in the insanity!

Hey, I'm no longer the Official Canon Fodder!

...uh, I mean I'm no longer the most junior agent. Yes. That is what I said, because that is what I meant...

*Hands nice watch and runs*

In the immortal words of Bruce Willis.... "Welcome to the party pal." Have a stuffed Emu. Obviously he didn't say the bit about the Emu, but have one anyway. It's called Ringo.

Have a venomous arthropod! You may not need gloves to handle it.

Hello, Prard! Have a PPG. Try not to shoot yourself in the foot!

Oh, and you might want to work on your grammar and punctuation a bit. Seeing as how most missions also involve making fun of badly-written fanfictions, it doesn't look terribly good to have us screwing up ourselves.

And may I inquire as to what fandoms you belong to?

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's some coconuts.

Welcome. I have for you an enchanted orange. It can talk and has the ability to . . . look like an orange!

Welcome to the PPC! Have a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat.

*poke*

As a newcomer here, you ought to familiarize yourself with our general attitude and modus operandi. For that purpose, we have a collection of excellent documents designed precisely with newcomers in mind. To begin with, there is our wiki page about ourselves. Also, Sedri's Guide to the PPC is highly informative.

You should also familiarize yourself with our Board Constitution and the article about how to get Permission to write spin-offs--and of course take the time to read the Original Series.

Also, have a bumper sticker! *sticks one to you* Muahahaha!

Welcome!

~Neshomeh

Fair winds!

I'd be interested. You can find me here--of course--on Giant in the Playground with my same username, or if you want to cheat and do things the easy way you can e-mail me at arlanstutler@gmail.com, which is probably the best option unless your e-mail happens to be something like Notspampleasedonotdelete@dethronednigerianprince.com. Which it probably shouldn't be unless you have a really warped sense of humor.

I think it mostly depends on what would be funnier or cooler. For example, I did a co-mission last year in which one of my Agents, Luke Celinus, appeared. He has an eye missing from an accident several years ago, and his temporary partner (an old friend of his) pranked him to give his disguise two eyes. This led to hilarity as he tried to cope with suddenly having a completely different field of vision again and kept bumping into things.

Remember, the PPC runs on the Rule of Funny and Rule of Cool.

I forgot what her name is, and I don't remember how she dealt with this issue. I think it made it possible for her guide dog to talk.

Perhaps someone else knows who I'm thinking of.

A while back, though, there was a question about whether the disguise generator could actually make the agent into a different species, or whether that was more of a projected image. I believe the answer was yes to the first half. So, logically, disabled agents can set the DG to not have a disability in their disguise.

I guess - since noone's written for him since TOS.

What fandoms do you need - I have more agents than I'm ever probably going to write for, so you'd be welcome to borrow some if the fandoms fit.

They're all in FicPsych, but:

Dr. Freedenberg
Head Nurse Suzine
Nurse Parwill
Nurse Immac
Nurse Nathonea Dewstan

Oh, and there's Alice the meara, too.

Failing that, I don't mind loaning my agents out occasionally, provided I get a look at their lines pre-posting. Maybe someone with agents in the requisite fandom(s) would let you borrow them?

~Neshomeh

I created Agents Carol and Sylveste for Michel's backstory, but have no plans on actually doing anything with them.

Their only characteristics are that Carol is female and Sylveste is male. Also, Sylveste is at least somewhat friendly and doesn't speak French. I never named their department, but I think they're Floaters.

Anyone is free to use them, if they want. I have enough Agents as it is.

Good job MSTing.

Glaurung! Gothmog! Ancaglon! Flood it with water!

The surprise character at the end was quite unexpected, but interesting. After all, those retired agents have to go somewhere.

And the mental image of Elven Batman is awesome.

I don't believe we've ever starved a Sue and released her at a target--although there is a division for doing experiments on captured Sues, so I could be wrong--but I know some of the milder Sues occasionally get redeemed and join the PPC. I don't know how exactly that's done, though.

You know, I think that people don't need to worry esspecially about species: I mean, a unique, fallible human seems fine, right? All you need to do is design the agent, give the kid an interesting getup, background story, morals/way of thinking based on this, and some interesting strengths and weaknesses (the weaknesses are important, to make every mission interesting, and to prevent the unintentional spawning of Mary Sues/Gary Stus).

If you're worried that if the agent is a human, then the kid won't be able to have powers, just think: He/she could be a mutant/mutate as part of the Marvel-verse, and/or he/she could end up picking up some sweet toys and gadgets along the way.

Does that help at all? I'm sorry if this seemed too pedantic and rambly, but what I'm trying to say is: 'Why sweat the small stuff? An agent could be Mr Average-freaking-Joe but as long as he can get the job done, and get it done in an interesting, audience-grabbing way that makes people feel for him, then that's a job well done - just make sure he doesn't become a Sue/Stu for all of our sakes, or he'll be toast too.'

Well, I count some Sith, a seven-foot Barabel lizard-man with huge fangs and claws, a drow and a few other oddities among my Agents.
I point you to Cavan Shenn, my Zeltron Sith. Capable of doing all kinds of nasty things to a person, up to and including a lust whammy before the murder.

Goldenrod explained it pretty well--the only danger of a powerful species is that they'd have it too easy and it wouldn't be any fun to read about them. However, power can be made up for in any number of ways, such as personality, the Laws of Narrative Comedy, and/or the Ironic Overpower preventing them from getting out of hand.

For example, my Agent Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill is an Andalite, which (if you don't know) is a centaur-like alien with four eyes, no mouth, telepathic speech, and a very fast and wickedly sharp tail-blade. He also has the ability to morph into any species he comes into contact with, which has the potential to get really ridiculous given the access he has as an agent to the powerful races of the multiverse. HOWEVER, due to being "born" in a badfic and getting his personality from sessions in FicPsych, and the fact that he sucks at morphing, he's kind of a woobie. (He is getting better, though. Character growth and all.)

Another powerful-yet-fun agent I can think of off the top of my head is Agent Verra Rose, who was a frickin' dragon. I don't remember precisely how Kippur handled her, but I think she just didn't go on missions much due to being a wife and mom.

And then there's always the option of just not using one's superpowers. My character Jenni is one of the Powers That Be in her own universe, but the most she's ever shown of it in HQ is a bit of telepathy. She has Rules.

~Neshomeh

Agent Selene is the vampire agent I've seen referred to most, a Stokerverse vamp with the ability to drop lightning around. While ostensibly not separate species, there's a number of shapeshifting Agents as well, both 'lycan'thropic or through more plainly magical means, although most have been forcibly retired. Marsha is dangerous simply by being a several-ton dinosaur. Agent Chliever is an avatar of a Chaos God of Disease. There are also a limited number of Time Lord agents. Agents Kana Yuuishizu and Kobayashi Risa are Bleach shinigami.

Dunno if that helps.

I am, unfortunately, unable to point you towards those interesting agents, but I do think that I can answer the question about your possible recruit. The way I understand it, the main reasoning against super-powered agents is that it is not any fun to read about someone going into a story, making a list of charges, and killing the Sue/exorcising the author if the agent does so with ease and without suffering. As long as the average fic poses a challenge to the agent, I believe that the agent is not considered too strong. Using this reasoning, if you were worried about how strong an agent is getting, you might be able to rein him in by throwing really bad stories at him. Of course, that assumes that you can withstand a barrage of really-badfics, but you might be able to ease off if you can make your agent get more fragile. It seems like it might be a good idea to plan for this ahead of time, and give your agent some disability when he first arrives. I am going to be using this technique when I start writing--I will have a werewolf character who could probably beat most Sues easily, but who's mind and morals are threatened by his condition. It's going to be fun when I get him to snap.

By the way, I apologize for the length and the somewhat rambling nature of this post. I do that when I start getting tired.

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin.

WElcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a Sharpie marker. Muahahaha.

*poke*

I don't know what you've already read, of course, but there are a few things you should definitely make time for. First, there is the Original PPC Series by Jay and Acacia. It is our canon and that which started it all.

Second, we require that everyone read and abide by the Board Constitution, because it's nicer that way.

After that, there are several helpful documents on the Wiki designed to help acquaint newcomers with us and our habits and behaviors and general weirdness. Sedri's Guide to the PPC is particularly informative, especially when combined with the FAQ for Newbies and the Mission Writing Guide. If you do want to write PPC missions, you should also see the article about how to get Official Permission.

And that's probably quite enough to start with. {= ) Welcome! Have a bumper-sticker! *sticks one on you* ^__^

~Neshomeh

Some of the people are here are crazy. For you, a watch that stops time when you look at it while your waiting for something you really want.

I don't have anything to give to you unlike everyone else.

Hello. Have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit, scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

We are pretty high in the whimsy factor here. Hope you enjoy your stay. Have a bag of cotton candy.

Welcome! Have a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat.

Have a venomous arthropod! You possibly won't need gloves to handle it.

Fair winds!

...is getting wonky? Just for that, i'm going to pour libations to the Ironic Overpower just to spite it. Maybe burnt offerings as well, starting with one smashed laptop.

No. Not really. But it's getting close...

I just sat down and read it all, and I've got to say I'm absolutely thrilled. This is brilliant work, and I'm delighted to see Crashing Down reach such a conclusion. And the Twisted Skein stuff - talk about a way to inspire spooky Unnamed Dread about what could happen...

Excuse me. I'll be off squeeing in the corner.

Um. My brain is drowning in awesome now.
So much awesome, and reading material for a while -- now I have to go reread Crashing Down, and. And.
*reduced to incoherence*

I think I'll start Crashing Down again from the beginning in order to fully appreciate the end. ^_^

Also, this totally deserves a March Madness prize. What's your preference?

~Neshomeh

It's a bit stunning to see "Crashing Down" finished. Congratulations on completing it! (I'll have to reread the whole thing sometime soon...)

IThe Myths of the PPC are great, especially the one in alliterative verse.

I really like the 4, 5, and 6! Reminds me of "The Deconstruction of Falling Stars", from B5.

1, 2, and 3 are awesome too. Good job on finally finishing Crashing Down!

Congratulations for finishing, and thanks for remembering to tell me what prize you want. {= ) Just drop me a line when the next NCIS mission comes up.

~Neshomeh (exswyzie14 [at] yahoo [dot] com)

That was pretty cool. Made me wish I knew more about the A-team.

Post away.

nice find, let;s see if we can have a different award for each fandom (i.e. golden bidoof for pokemon)

Perhaps we should ban the Legendary Badfic from consideration, on the grounds that they would sweep everything and make it boring?

Would it be selections from things that we've killed, then? TOO broad a selection might make it difficult.

~Neshomeh

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Boards! Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay.

Ohayo gozaimasu, boku no atarashii tomodachi! This is the first time I've greeted a newbie, so here's a spring lamb! With some attention and TLC, that will turn into a sheep, useful for getting dragons to pay attention when training them, for placating other fearsome beasts, and for throwing at Mary Sues in a high speed chase (the theory is, such 'perfect' beings can't deny the softness of their wool, the impulse of their own inbuilt kindness to animals, or the weight of the big lumps on their head).

Arigato gozaimashita, sayonnara!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a shrunken head. Don't ask.

Welcome to the board, Somariel! I offer to you a coxcomb. It's a sort of silly hat.

Welcome to the PPC! (Yes, it is very fun and insane here.) Have a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin.

Is anyone still doing this? I stumbled across it on the Wiki and would like a Big Sib if this is still being done.

*poke*

I don't know what you've already read, of course, but there are a few things you should definitely make time for. First, there is the Original PPC Series by Jay and Acacia. It is our canon and that which started it all.

Second, we require that everyone read and abide by the Board Constitution, because it's nicer that way.

After that, there are several helpful documents on the Wiki designed to help acquaint newcomers with us and our habits and behaviors and general weirdness. Sedri's Guide to the PPC is particularly informative, especially when combined with the FAQ for Newbies and the Mission Writing Guide. If you do want to write PPC missions, you should also see the article about how to get Official Permission.

And that's probably quite enough to start with. {= ) Welcome! Have a bumper-sticker! *sticks one on you* ^__^

~Neshomeh

Did you expect to get something from me, too?

Help yourself to your favorite venomous arthropod! You may...not...need gloves!

Fair winds!

They come in Red, Blue, Green or Orange, take your pick!

Welcome to the party from a fellow Newbie. Have a giant stuffed Emu named Tiffany. Just remember to attach the wheels before taking her out for a walk.

Hello and welcome! Here, have some chocolate and enjoy your stay.

Yay!

*waves like a maniac* Hi, Welcome to the board, etc etc.

Have some Awesome Sauce (for lo it is sauce which is Awesome), and some funny little green pills.

Have a platter of chocolate-covered profiteroles, a pet mongoose (which can be collected from the PPC Mongoose Shelter in RC 2816), and a some Mandalorian crushgaunts.

Greetings, fellow LoTR and Star Wars fan. LoTR is fairly common round here, but Star Wars seems less so (or at least Boarders don't seem to talk about it quite as much).

Like the name, too.

Elcalion, welcoming.

I know it's a tad early for this, but I already find myself thinking about it: Do agents have to be called by Agent ______? or is it just quasi-tradition?

*poke*

I don't know what you've already read, of course, but there are a few things you should definitely make time for. First, there is the Original PPC Series by Jay and Acacia. It is our canon and that which started it all.

Second, we require that everyone read and abide by the Board Constitution, because it's nicer that way.

After that, there are several helpful documents on the Wiki designed to help acquaint newcomers with us and our habits and behaviors and general weirdness. Sedri's Guide to the PPC is particularly informative, especially when combined with the FAQ for Newbies and the Mission Writing Guide. If you do want to write PPC missions, you should also see the article about how to get Official Permission.

And that's probably quite enough to start with. {= ) Welcome! Have a bumper-sticker! *sticks one on you* ^__^

~Neshomeh

Fair winds!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a very small hat.

Do. Not. Feed. It. Sues. It's for mascot purposes only.

Welcome to the Board. I present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Have fun!

Here, have a large egg of dubious origin. No clue what'll hatch from it.

You forgot to mention me . . .

Anyway, gifts . . .

A gold wristwatch that unfolds into a small pistol, to match your suit.

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod! You might want to find some gloves firt, though.

Welcome to the board! Have a coxcomb. It's a silly hat with Shakespearean lineage.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's an archery set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. (If you wish to know, I got the Raven Armory items from the actual Tortal-verse Armory and off of various Sues who think they deserve Raven Armory items. The Raven Armory doesn't take kindly to Sues.)

Hello! Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

I love your user name.

I'll leave the pokes, bumper stickers, and big bag o'links to those who normally hand them out.

Lots of new people are coming here as of late.

Hey, excellent! Hope to see some missions by you soon!

Insert the usual disclaimers about betas being very good people here.

And I like it. Fun times. ^_^

... I wonder if Doctors Fitzgerald and Freedenberg ever go out together and get drunk whilst complaining about how ridiculously busy they are and trying to one-up each other's bizarre case stories. Hmmm.

Anyway! Need to know what prize you want (drawing, drabble, or beta). Let me know here or in the above thread.

~Neshomeh

I already qualified on something else. I am claiming the prize of betaing the mess that this mission is probably currently in. :D

This is Miah and Cali's first mission together, and my first attempt at sporking a badfic.

Really, the writing wasn't too horrible in this story, and I thought the story had potential to be good--if it was rewritten as an original fiction with vampires she made up herself. The thing that sealed its fate was her replacing Todd with an Original Character. He is just too cool for me to let that happen to him.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AdAslkokw01-ZGdrN3ZuZDZfNWQ2ejY5dmQ3&amp;hl=en


Miah recruited a character from this story. If anyone is interested in having him as an Agent, please let me know.

He is a Wraith from Stargate: Atlantis. Currently called Not!Todd. He has an atypical personality for a Wraith, which should make him safe enough to have around HQ. He will require some unique accommodations for his meals.

http://uncommon-comma.livejournal.com/

Just in time. :D And it really was a doozy. Enjoy!

I've still got two hours left, by my time zone!

It's not the epic mission I was planning--that still has a way to go--but it's a mission!

http://agent-tomato.livejournal.com/34748.html

All I would like for a prize is a constructive review, because one can never have too many of those.

Interlude: Ilraen's Journal

Set during *shudder* Spring `08. It's not my fault! Ilraen MADE ME do it! I wanted to move on, but no, he insisted. Something about "important character growth"; I dunno. {= P So, here it is. Hopefully it is entertaining enough to make up for its existence.

Thanks to Sedri for beta-reading.

~Neshomeh