Mar 2010 Archive, part b

Just wanted to say that generally Permission turnings-down-of are not permanent "YOU SUCK FOREVERRRR" labels, just "Please try again later" notes. So, if you, by any chance, want a beta, just wanted to drop in. I don't think I know any of the canons you work in, but as per grammar, spelling, syntax, flow, PPC canon... the concerns listed below and so on, I'm generally pretty good at editing and whatnot. So if you want someone to bounce ideas off of or pointers or whatever, go ahead and e-mail me (Vixenmage AT gmail DOT com). I've been kinda looking for something writer-y to do until my muse stops sulking, so I'd greatly appreciate the excuse to muck around in prosaic writings.

In addition to the issues I outlined earlier, there are some others.

Your writing in general leaves a bit to be desired on the technical front; tense-shifts, incorrect capitalisations, bewildering ways of describing other characters for a start.

The bits of badfic you use are few and far between. When you do quote it, you quote vast tracts of it so it's hard to see what exactly you're complaining about.

Your formatting in general I found hard on the eye, with enormous sentences and paragraphs.

The way your Agents have been recruited is just ... wrong ... for the PPC.

I stopped even caring about the fic you were sporking because of the errors in your own writing and the distasteful nature of your Agents. This, I'm sure you'll agree, is slightly contrary to the point of what we do here.

Another point is that with all your mysteries and [REDACTED]s, which as aforementioned are Not How We Do Things, it makes me leery that one of these days you're going to up and mess with something even more fundamental. If you can't operate within the confines of this shared universe as it is, if you have to twist it to feel comfortable writing in it, perhaps this is not the place for you to stretch your creative wings, as it were.

The main problem is that you appear to have missed the point. You've taken our happy, silly, fun setting and darkened it, with your press-ganging and depression. There's no comedy in this mission. I felt uncomfortable reading it, I didn't feel that giggling righteousness at the end that normally I would expect to find at the end of a PPC mission. I didn't feel that it was a job well done.

This is supposed to be FUN. This is supposed to be stupid, and comical. This is supposed to be slapstick. Your writing sample is none of those. It made me sad.

I'm sorry, but you don't seem to have understood the spirit of what we do here, and with that in mind I'm going to say it's Permission denied.

- Trojie

Um, some points.

Spelling! Please make sure you get someone to look over your spelling (or at least use a spellcheck - 'appearence' is something a spellcheck would pick up immediately) before you post any writing. Given we do horrible things to people who make spelling mistakes, we really shouldn't be making any ourselves.

Warnings! As July pointed out, you need to do this. Lots of PPC Boarders read missions at work, school, or other places where they may have people peering over their shoulders. Therefore using words like 'rape' tends to be a bad idea.

Was Alice press-ganged into the PPC? Recruits are usually volunteers or persuaded in a friendly manner. We don't force people to be in the PPC, and the only things we do scientific experiments on are Mary Sues. I'm not sure what the other PGs will think but I personally am uncomfortable with Alice's backstory in the PPC as I think it creates an unpleasant precedent.

Where's 'Research'? Do you mean Medical, FicPsych, DMSEAR?

There's an awful lot of 'classified' and 'mystery' stuff in their backgrounds. It's okay to just not specify if you're not sure where their stories are going to go in the future, but to deliberately set it up as 'classified'? Normally the Marquis and Personnel in general seem happy as Larry to give out even the mst personal of Agent's information.

I'm going to reserve judgement for now, and finish reading it later. Given past form I'm sure Neshomeh will be along soon :)

-Trojie

Note: I am no one of import; I simply felt like making an effort to interact and such. Ordinarily I'd stay out entirely, but my curiosity has demanded that I make an attempt to obtain answers about some things I noticed. You're in no way obliged to listen to me on this matter, but I would appreciate a thought or two in return.

I am certainly intrigued by your choice of first-person and present tense. It's a marked departure from the norm and could certainly bring up many interesting things as time goes on -- though, it may present difficulties as well, given some of the things 'fics do. (Also given that most 'fics tend to be in past tense, and I've observed that Agents tend to match the tense of the 'fic, hence tense wrenches and shutting up on that topic now.)
I will say that your Agents give me a bit of a turn, in places.
On the subject of Falras. The springing full-formed from HQ is odd to my eyes. Most Agents do suddenly appear, true, but most appear from somewhere. And, it strikes me as strange for someone so calm and sane to suddenly start screaming because the mission has taken an unexpected turn. Calmness isn't exactly an oddity in the PPC, though I do find sanity rare and easily lost... well, I don't know if I have room to speak on that matter. Hm, the point I'm trying to make is there's nothing wrong with a calm Agent; in fact, they can be highly entertaining to watch. But, a calm Agent should generally be calm, one thinks, and a sane Agent is likely to lose that precious commodity as time progresses.
Grall is interesting, and I mean this in the good way, not the carefully-neutral-I-don't-know-what-to-say way. I can see much humor coming from his presence and antics. I should like to know where he's from, though; there seems no sense in the redaction, and I can't bring anything to mind that's 'parasitic'. Is it a tabletop or RP continuum, or am I barking up the wrong tree entirely?
On the subject of Alice. I agree with a lot of what July said here. If it's just the killing she hates, as your sample suggests to me, why not work in Bad Slash, or one of the internal departments like Medical or DoSAT, or something that doesn't involve killing? I get that she needs Grall around, but there are ways around that, and the Flowers don't set out to make people miserable. Er, generally. There's a line between disapproval/unhappiness/whygodwhy and serious out-and-out hatred, and one thinks that someone on the hatred side would not be put to work in such a manner. An Agent who hates his or her job is likely going to go flamethrower-crazy a lot faster than others, so it's a bit of self-preservation. (Also, nitpicky crow would like to point out: Addendum.)
The Pokémon hybrid thing is a choice I do like, though.
And, on the subject of the writing sample... well. I don't like to bother people about style -- who knows better than you what you're trying to communicate, after all? -- but there are technical things that keep tripping me up. I'll acknowledge that I'm unusually picky about grammar and punctuation, but... well. A beta reader is a good plan for everyone, no matter how experienced they are.
I'm done being a picky little crow. Going further will make one no friends -- in fact, I have probably grievously offended at least three people already, but I felt the need to speak.

Make no mistake, I do think that this trio has definite potential for excellent fun and good times. But, I, too, am of the opinion that they could be better. I think it would be a good plan to get a second pair of eyes on, preferably someone who can and will tell you exactly what they think without fear of offending or worse.
Best of luck, Max!

Okay. So. (Latidoremefa.)

Let's see here, not a PG, just gonna point some stuff out anyhow though that I would like the PGs to read before they say yay or nay.

First off, Max, you've got Mysterious!surprisefromnowhere!Agent. Very mysterious, very mysterious. And special.

And why is he wearing a tattered uniform? I know we're usually running in the red but last I checked we're generally willing to keep people from accidentally exploding into nudity in the corridors if they pop the wrong seam and the rest of their uniform falls apart.


*stares at Falras disconcertingly* He is seriousness! And not crazy? And 'unusally sane'? Are you sure he's sane? Most agents in the PPC are not quite sane and saying that he is 'unusally sane' implies he has a future breakdown or nine headed his way because one does not cope in the PPC by being just sane. Does not work that way, no siree. You've got to either be a bit nuts or a bit not with the reason brain processing or able to accept every single thing that happens to cope. Otherwise your brain shuts down at things like tree days filled with chlorophyll and bear hands and urple because these are from the strange territory beyond reality where things happen with less than logic and not quite so common sense.


Though I can see how that can lead to Hilarity and the Powers That Be going and smacking him with the Ironic Overpower each and every chance had.

*stares at Grall now*

Okay, so you have this mostly humanthingumfishnot dude. What's with the (REDACTED)? SCP people we are not. The parasitic continuum? How does tihs make sense? If it is a continuum then whtever is there is canon and while might be Sues elsewhere if it's all the same in there it can't be Sues because it is on par with what is there. Does that make sense at all? The pervertedness is interesting as a character quirk, that could be fun to watch, since hammerspace is occasionaly accessable.

*stares at Alice*

Okay, so more (REDACTED). This is no place to hide secrets suchly, it does not amuse or make for sense. You can just tiptoe around it and say BRELOOM HYBRID and avoid what else. The fact that she's part Pokemon is interesting though. Aso, again, PPC is generally not THIS IS A SECRET AND IT IS CLASSIFIED for everything, especially where involves agents and their bodyparts and species and all that. Fairly open type workplace.


Personality makes no sense. Why would she be part of the PPC if she hates it, and if she hates it so why is she being kept as part of it? And disguises are disguises and help on missions where it is required, so that is quite odd. The Flowers might force the agents to do a lot of AUGH stuff, but they don't force people to do the job if they seriously dont't want it. Most people generally accept the terrible missions as part of doing something to help the canon or for own personal reasons that involve

Okay, moving on to the writing thingy.


Wah wah wah. D: Despair and angst and things that are reasonable for your character.

But some things.

1) Does not quite mess with what is at least my view of the spirit of the PPC.
2) I do not quite appreciate looking at my screen and seeing "Rapeface" on it unexpectedly without warning especially since I'm typing this right now and trying to avoid my parents or younger siblings seeing it and going "omgwtf?". Warnings is good. Warnings is nice. Please use warnings for that sort of langauge because not everyone appreciates it.
4) There is no 3.
5) There are better ways to express shouting and yelling and general emphasis besides caps.
6) This is quite angstydark for a community whose pieces generally trend towards the light and moderatly hilarious cracky and happy.
7) Show, do not tell. If this is their first mission and they haven't known each other very long (I am assuming though I can't tell for sure the length of time meant to be implied) she wouldn't know that he is usually calm in the perhaps-I-have-overdosed-on-sedatives-but-am-still-awake way usually even on missions.

I've written too much because I'm rambling and wrapping lines around and around (yay WYSIWYG!) so I'll leave off for now so presumably someone else can go and tell me I was being too nitpicky.

Again, not a Permission Giver.

Looks okay and I'm not a PG. I just want to quibble one point.

At the end of Grall's wossname, this has LED. Not lead. Lead is either a present tense verb or a type of metal.

*twitches, fumes, and runs away to drown self in Ansela's vodka*

How involved is the story in Wizards 101? If the story almost seems separate from the mechanics of the game itself, you may just decide to ignore them completely.

I have more experience with World of Warcraft as the only non-flash MMO i've ever played - while I'm sure alot of people like making sillier stories that reference levels and spending gold for spells, the better stories are the ones that ignore that aspect completely and focus on the characters of the Warcraft lore, which is backed up by 3 games prior to the MMO.

If you've ever read any novels based on Dungeons and Dragons, you can see similar things happening - DnD is a very rules-based game, but the novels make no mention of levels, make references to classes only when there are extremely obvious archetypes associated with them (I cannot recall any Salvador novels actually labeling someone as a Rogue).

Dann already brought up the example of City of Heroes, where Security Levels (and the villainous equivalent, Threat Levels) are stamped on an ID card every character carries around and must display to get into certain areas -- it'd nearly impossible for anyone in that setting to not use the terminology. In sufficiently 'meta' games, such as S4 League, it'd make sense for everything visible to the players to be visible, since the characters are canonically just avatars for their players. In comedy, I think you can have characters randomly reference levels and other "universe rules" without it being a problem: the Order of the Stick and its various heirs, many World of Warcraft comedies, and some other series do this on occasion.

On the other hand, it's very easy to accidentally end up with narmy "It's over 9000!" sorta things. The class schedule or how long someone's been there may be a lot smoother to write, especially since you can go to relative values rather than end up with painful-to-write level numbers. Another option would be something similar to the "years" comparisons from Harry Potter; someone five ten levels above you would be from a higher year, someone five or ten levels under from a younger year. Wizards101 does shameless emulate borrow from Harry Potter enough for the overlap to work.

Alternatively, you may not want to use that information at all. Characters don't know everything, and metagame is often something that's very easy for them to not know. It removes the easy method of simply telling information about power, but there are a lot of other ways to establish strength -- everything from method of dress to weaponry to powers to movement tells a lot in most MMOs. Lots of opportunity to show, rather than tell.

As Techno-Dann correctly Googled, it is indeed Wizard101. Sorry for not mentioning that earlier. I think I need to go reclaim my brain; it seems to have wandered off somewhere and begun a game of hide-and-seek without telling me.

Anyway, I like the idea of the levels being more tied into education. I'm reluctant to use words like 'grade' or anything else so recognizable, but they're supposed to be at school anyway, so that makes sense. (We're ignoring here the fact that a student wizard, especially one who comes from a distant land that doesn't know about magic, is in change of saving the world. This game is really frighteningly similar to Harry Potter. Really. But I digress.)

On a side note, would the PPC deal with this kind of story? Not the subject, but the fact that the people who write them are just plain bad writers. I haven't been able to get through enough of any one to see if they involve 'Sues, but they're just badly written. Would they be left alone, or is it something a department like the Dept. of Technical Errors might handle?

Thanks for ideas and replies,
--anamia

Anyways, except for certain types of parodies, it is traditional to not refer directly to game mechanics, unless the game story itself mentions them explicitly in the story and gives a specific explanation for what they are. Keep track of what level the characters are, though, so they don't have inconsistent power levels.

You'll note that pretty much all single player roleplaying games considered to be of high quality never mention level in dialogue. It's on a level with saying, "The sword does 2d6+1d10fire". The level is part of the game, but presumably the characters don't actually know what level anyone is.

The only 1-to-50 game that I'm familiar with is City of Heroes, where players have a "Security Clearance" that's effectively their level. There, I think it would make sense, as it's handled like an in-game number. On the other hand, using Levels in WOW fanfic would be jarring and out-of-place.

*does some googling*

I'm not terribly familiar with Wizards 101, but there has to be a better system - could you convert levels into class numbers? Those tend to go from 100 to 499 or so, so that suggests some sort of mapping.

(And by the way, don't be embarrassed by the games you play. I just got into the Lego Universe beta, and am happily ignoring college homework to play it.)

...do it as something along the lines of 'threat levels'. Probably 1 is the equivalent of a small harmless forest mammal and the highest is death in a barrel, and the assigned number is something that a certain item can tell you, or a file, or whatever. Still keeping the sort-of level mechanic, but making it make a bit more sense.
I'm not explaining this particularly well... Hm. I don't know about this game, but in most of the games I play there's an item or spell that gives you a detailed look at the other person's stats, and can usually be handwaved to say that it gives you a rough approximation of strength, etc., and then the estimated level of threat.
Um.
Hopefully there's something in there you that helps a little.

Hey there! Nice to meet you!

I'd avoid using the term levels. Saying stuff like "I was more experienced than so-and-so, but hadn't explored as much as she had" makes the story flow better than using numbers and levels. It's better to think as the numbers as there for the players benefit rather than the characters.

I like to think of it as an age. If you start adventuring at the age of eighteen then that is level one. Add one year for every level. This works because the older you get the more experience you have and the more spells you are likely to have learned.

It might also work to just not mention the level. Instead, refer to the characters level of experience. To use your example, "I was further advanced in my studies than my best friend Sabrina FireWeave, though I had yet to make it to Marleybone and she was already there." This allows you to keep the relative power levels without explicitly saying what level the characters are in the game.

Hope this helps.

Fair winds!

Hey, don't feel weird about not being that into the whole fan fiction thing. I don't write it either. But this place is more about being part of fandoms and the elimination of the nastiness that constitutes Sues than about writing fan fiction.

If you do decide to get into the MST business, which you should, as it is very fun, you should have this bag of punctuation. You'd be surprised how often you'll need it.

Have a venomous arthropod! And don't worry about writing or not. You're welcome to just laugh along with the rest of us.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here. Also, here's a d20.

Anyway, have a Lauging Gas Chemical Sparayer!

Believe me, you'll understand one day. *looks mysterious*

Really, welcome. It's nice to see you. Don't feel pressured to write MSTs or PPC missions if you're not interested, or even read the fanfics we recommend - it may be a bit odd, but you should enjoy your time here nonetheless :)

I think my biggest problem critiquing fan fiction will probably be that I don't know fandoms well enough to distinguish non-canon from canon.

I'll take Harry Potter for example (although I think I'd try to avoid a topic that large as it's probably been tackled to death by the PPC as is) - I like the series, but I still haven't read the 7th book. I have incomplete knowledge of alot of topics, but nearly complete knowledge of almost nothing.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin! (I partially agree with you about the fanfiction vs. original fiction thing, but only about the bad fanfiction and such. Good fanfiction, rare as it is, makes the whole world of fanfiction worthwhile. For the fanatics, that is.)

I think I remember seeing you around. Good to know you found the place.

However, not wanting to be rude, I nonetheless feel the need to ask why you're here if you're not interested in what we do. There are lots of other places to go if you don't like us, and I personally could do without the sneering at us on our own forum--which uses HTML, not [] tags, and suits us very well.

~Neshomeh

Good to see you here, and I hope everything's going well.

The boards support most HTML tags -

Google turns into Google.
Italics turns into Italics.
Strikethrough turns into Strikethough
Bold makes things Bold.

Haven't tested everything, but the more common tags work. Would recommend against the ones.

Fair winds! Careful, the ship is sentient.

So, no bumper stickers here, but I do have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Hello hello hello! Have a Hermione Granger Beaded Purse, I can tell you need it by now.

I heard you like bumper stickers, but I like venomous arthropods, so here is a tarantula for you.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your insanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.
Ah, it's delightful to see a fellow Harry Potter, Discworld, Hellsing, Twilight-bashing, and Fullmetal Alchemist fan. So here's some virtual pocky.

Have a 17 foot long, multi-color, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Have fun! Be sure to use the scarf irresponsibly

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. Yay for Goodfic! (I used to read Chibi Vampire, but it sort of got pushed aside by Harry Potter and Tortall.) Also, since you asked, here's a complimentary "Raven Armory: Undercover Anti-Sue Resistance" bumper sticker. :D

Welcome to the insanity, we don't bite much.

Here, have a pet mongoose (which can be picked up from the PPC Mongoose Shelter in RC# 2816), and a platter of chocolate-covered profiteroles.

Elcalion

Have an Excalibur replica!

No chatspeak on your Bumper Sticker, though, as I'm allergic to it.

I know Neshomeh said the Links appear several times on the Board anyway, but I feel everyone should be offered them specially, as part of the welcome package.

Firstly, there's The Original PPC Series, which I'm assuming you've already read. Linked up top here is the The Board Constitution, and there's an FAQ For the Board if you have any questions on that front. Another very useful page is the List of Everything PPC. Please also take the time to look through our PPC Wiki, particularly the Permission articleGuide To The PPC, the Mission Writing Guide and the FAQ: For Newbies.


I also give you a fluffy slipper. Use it well.

I would express my shock, but I might drop my elegant bone-china teacup...

Just kidding, of course. Memes are welcome here, as are crazy people. Welcome to the crazy, someone will be along to collect your sanity shortly.

*gives alliriyan_scribe a molybdenum spork*

*pokes*

Your bumper sticker says "I can haz Bleeprin?" Wear it with pride.

So, about this goodfic. Would you happen to have links to it? 'Cause we can always use more goodfic. {= )

Anyway, welcome!

~Neshomeh, foregoing the usual links because they're in at least three other places down the board.

Yay, Buffy!I haven't read any good Buffy fic since, well, ever. (I have high standards for fiction, particularly in my favorite fandom.)

Being slightly insane helps here, you know.

Here's a complimentary red pen. *tosses* Welcome!

(Psst...you might want to have a little disclaimer for your chatspeak. Since it's your first post, the people here might think you actually write like that.)

~Araeph

Welcome! And yes, Araeph goes by the same name here.

I don't hand out any bumper stickers, but I can give you a nice stuffed panda that eats, shoots and leaves. :D

I especially liked where she got stuck in the grass until 'finally'. And shooting her with Legolas' arrow was inspired.

Just the kind of thing I needed to read :D

Well, good to see you around, whoever you are. I'll save the mission, if you don't mind. I've got this website actually meant to preserve things that would otherwise be lost. Convenient, ne?

Anyway. Enjoyed this muchly. I especially liked the rendering of the Sue's dialogue outside the fic-excerpts and how Mirkwood was still Mirkwood despite the mangling. That made what was going on all the more ridiculous and funny. ^_^

~Neshomeh, archiving.

I like that. Short, quirky, and funny. Thanks for posting!

... is promise ring.

Glad to see it done. ^_^ Will this be an entry for the March Madness contest, then? I'm prepared to count just about any written work, really, and there will be Fabulous Prizes!

I especially like how you emphasize not sporking something you wouldn't read even if it were done well. It's hard, maybe impossible not to be biased at all, but it's definitely important when it comes to touchy subjects like this.

Mind if I add a link to the article about exorcism? It's got that nifty picture that Artemis made. {= )

~Neshomeh

Yes, there are Trek missions. I know for sure Sedri did one, with Sedri and Iza. And I'm pretty sure Trojie and I did one too. Are they not on the Killed Badfic list?

http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/kippur.html

I believe it contains The Many Deaths of Marissa Picard.

You also might want to try the Department of Floaters.

Then there's a Star Trek mission by Team Phoenix, but...let's just say the paragraph breaks should be taken out and shot. In fact, it should probably be re-formatted and archived on the PPC livejournal for safekeeping.

~Araeph

The reason for those 3 installations from microsoft is so that you can upgrade your computer throughout it's age (changing various components alters that number that was mentioned earlier, so reinstalling the software would count as another install) without allowing you to just install it on as many computers as you like -

People who reinstall the software multiple times on the same computer can usually just call microsoft to unlock the license if it's used more than 3 times - it's a roadblock of inconvenience more than anything.

You shouldn't have a problem installing the operating system on both computers, just be aware that you aren't using it 'correctly' - a single upgrade of 7 is supposed to be used on only one computer.

Windows activation is a remarkably complicated system, as they want to allow someone to reinstall the same computer multiple times, but not allow someone to install the same copy of Windows on multiple computers. The way they do this is they get several somewhat unique numbers to your system (CPU serial number, network adapter's MAC address, and so on), then mathematically combine them into a number that's unique to your computer, but doesn't mean anything else. Then they send that number and the Windows CD key to Microsoft's magic master servers, which look up that key, and make sure it hasn't already been used, or that it has been used for the same computer only. The server sends the OK, the computer finishes the install, and everything works.

Obviously, it's rather straightforward for Microsoft to set up CD keys that will work for a given number of computers other than one, or CD keys that will work for any number of computers but make a note to a central account somewhere, or so on.

My one concern would be whether the disk is good for an install and then two reinstalls, or whether it's good for running three systems concurrently. That would definitely be something worth checking up on before you install it on the second box.

...well, that's a bit saddening, but totally understandable under those circumstances, and you're already heroes anyway. I hope things get better for Trojie and that Pads gets her inspiration back.

*goes off to hunt down Pads's writer-brain* Here brainy brainy brainy... *waves teapot seductively*

Hope things turn around for you both soon. Hectic RL is no good.

~Neshomeh

Take as much time as you need.

So this is the story of how my two agents met. Enjoy.

http://miah-arthur.livejournal.com/4684.html

I wrote this in March, so I guess it goes under the March Madness thingymabobber.

Fair winds!

Here, have a large nest of assorted, unexplained eggs! I don't know what's in them, probably not safe to eat.

I read one of your mission-type-things once. You guys are good.

Have a softnose laser! Er, many softnose lasers!

Welcome to the Board! Glad to see another organization like this one. In honor of our meeting, have an emperor scorpion and a collection of unprinted novels.

I'm afraid you can't bring that into the meeting. *points to asterselene's sanity* Please leave it in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"*

Does your association have anyone who covers bad slash? Perhaps we could organise exchanges :D

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a Glitter-proof shield from the Raven Armory (it can't be Sueified and it also acts as a make-shift wall to block out Bad Things). It's nice to see another Anti-Sue group. Welcome to the insanity!

Would you so kind as to take this rather large bag of punctuation? It never hurts to have a little extra on hand in our line of work.

Have some bleeprin and a heavy blunt object and a fox. How delightful to meet a sister organisation. Diplomatic relations should be most pleasant. I am Sedri, a relative Oldbie and Assassin for the Department of Mary Sues. Nice to meet you. :)

I'm Araeph, and I manage the Department of Technical Errors, as well as the Pirates of the Caribbean Mary Sue report. Here, have a red pen! *tosses*

How does an exchange of links sound, for starters?

The PPC Wiki

The List of Everything PPC

Guide to the PPC

The Complete List of PPC Fiction

The Fifty Worst Lines in the Caribbean

Happy Sue-hunting!

—Araeph

Um... Yeah. That's about it.

So, did they ever get the aardvark off Mewtwo?

But then I noticed Lenny and George.

...

Um.

Is there any way that isn't ripped from Of Mice and Men? (Which I was forced to read for school, I hasten to add)

Other than that, it's been a while since I read anything PPC-wise, so it's an interesting experience getting my head back in-gear. I didn't remember Derik at first, and grinned when I realised (ie, you outright stated) who he was. Earwig was about as hyperinsane as some of my Agents have been. And... yeah. Good mission.

...

... who the heck rips off OMAM, for crying out loud? It's like plagiarising The Eye of Argon or something.

hS, who didn't get on well with that book

I don't think you've quite grasped how things work. First of all, with only one notable exception, all Departments have a Flower Official as their Head. The Department of Personnel, which is the one in charge of assigning partners and such, is headed by the Marquis de Sod, who is not noted for relying overmuch on underlings. There is a reason the Flowers are in charge. What exactly that reason is varies depending upon who you ask, but the bottom line is that it's our canon, and we're not going to mess with it. That said, a secretary in the Department of Personnel with delusions of grandeur could make for interesting stories.

Second, partners pretty much have to be in the same department, so Alaric in the DMS and Iori in Plagiarism doesn't work. We don't really get many cases of plagiarism anyway.

Third, bear in mind that the PPC isn't about how badass the agents are. They can do badass things, but unlike Sues, they have to work for it. Alaric worries me a bit on that score because he's set up to be so much better than his canonical brethren with no explanation for why that might be. I've already covered Mr. White.

All that said, I do like the idea of a panserbjørne working with a scrawny Asian girl, and I like the setup of Nikolai as the proverbial "quiet one" with serious artillery. There are good things working there.

~Neshomeh

... is that you have to read so much of the original fic. >.>

The banter is infinitely more entertaining than the actual story. I think the sporking would actually be better served by your characters paraphrasing the entries rather than having comments interspersed between them.

On the journals?

It makes it easier to navigate the main page of your journal and people's friends lists without crazy-ton of scrolling.

Nice art! I love the Gorillaz music, though I'm kinda unsure about the newest album and whether I'll get it or not...

I know diddly about the band, but the art is fun. And that is a ridiculously huge gun he's got. O.o

Say, do you still have OFUR students to draw? It just occurred to me that it's been a while since I've seen any of those pop up in my devWatch.

~Neshomeh

It is excellent and silly and all such things. Hoorah.

Before you start thinking about how to get a spaceship into the mission, try this question:

*Is there a way to do the mission without giving my Agents high technology?

If, for instance, it's a Star Trek mission, could the Agents spend all their time on the Enterprise? The only situation I can think of where a spaceship would be needed is if the canons are all space-faring robots, and thus don't have internal corridors.

Remember that the PPC is hideously underfunded. If there's a low-tech way of doing things, they will not use a more expensive method instead.

As to stealing a car from a Sue -- loot is part of the fun. Although a car isn't quite as decorative as a magickckck dagger...

hS

Surely that's not a mini but a combination of "Paula Deen" and "Swalot," then?

In my opinion, it's still a mini-rayquaza, but it should constantly have a "Kiss the cook" apron and chef hat on, plus it should talk in a french accent.

*Sighs* I tried...

If right to give permission is measured in a numbered scale, I'm in the negative, but I just wanted to know where, exactly, the third arm is meant to BE. Middle of the back? Middle of the front? Out of one armpit? Out of one shoulder? This I must know.

No Trojies? Okay. Permission granted! So stop worrying so much. ^_~

I agree with Helen about your story--I like that the character's voice comes through so well. It's a very elegant (if melancholy) summation of a person's life. I'm sure there are real people just like her. There are a few small mechanical errors ("week to week" should not be hyphenated there, toward the end; and "would still had have food left-over" should be "would still have had food left over"), but once those all get fixed up you might think about sending it to a magazine or something. Can't hurt to try, anyway. {= )

I do still wonder about Eileen's third arm, though. I mean, I'm sure Medical could have removed it... so why keep it? Is it actually functional somehow?

~Neshomeh

I haven't written anything on here in ages, just happened to stop by for a bit and read your writing sample. Wanted to say that I really enjoyed it. The character had such a clear, strong voice. I was fascinated. Good job.

*returns to lurking*

Welcome! Have a cross-bow. In all honesty, it is not my style. I would much rather prefer a elven long-bow (distance over power, Elegance over bulk, etc.). Happy Hunting!

Hello and welcome! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Fair winds!

Yo, welcome to the PPC! I've only been here about a week, but I think original characters from original canons are cool. One of my agent hopefuls is entirely an OC.

As a gift, please take this bag of correct grammar and a hatful of outdated slang.

*rattles chains while trying to poke Neshomeh back, but eventually gives up*

Don't worry. It seems that the only way to leave HQ is if your destination is a padded cell, and I have no intention of going into one of those. I don't seem to be that far from it, though--I doubt that the little sanity I have left would be enough to feed even a newborn warg. I do enjoy Tolken--I'm not that crazy. I probably won't venture into that canon for a while, though. I still need to read most of the non-main-series books.

Thanks for the information on recruiting one of my characters. I was going to use a plothole if there wasn't some other established method of recruiting agents (excluding contacting the target--that would be harder to explain than a plothole!) I think I will attempt to insert whatever humor I can get into finding the plothole and my character's reaction to it. I don't think that he will be over-powered; he's a werewolf, but characterized in such a way that it might actually be more of a threat to his sanity than the Sues! Finding a nickname for him shouldn't be too hard--he currently doesn't have a name for it to replace!

I'm trying out that update-mailing link you gave me, gattsuru, but it does seem like the classic method is best. *adds page to home tabs*

It makes sense to ask for the RC in the same post as the permission. I was just wondering if there was a partially-reserved state for the rooms. Oh well. It's an odd enough number that I can't imagine anyone (other than me, that is) asking for it.

I found the answer to one of my forgotten questions (the postal department is in Infrastructure, not in the Discontinued section) and remembered another (below), but I do distinctly remember having three questions. I wonder if I'll remember it, or if it is gone forever.

I'm going to use FictionPress for posting my non-PPC stories (yes, I know that it's the Pit's sister, but the stories there are generally of a better quality. Who would have thought that creating an original world requires a higher level of coherence?), but I have not seen a list of rules. Where are they? I would hate to be deleted through ignorance.

Finally, thanks for all of the gifts, and especially the bleeprin! I'm compiling a list, and challenging myself to fit everything in the story. Expect to see them in print! Now...how many ways can I think of to get a Sue to meet a venomous arthropod?

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin! (Don't worry, we're all insane here. You're welcome to join the club.)

I, like some others, have no answers - I'm very new myself - but have a BOTIB (Bigger On The Inside Backpack).

Here have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly.


As to the question about original story characters, my Agent Miah Arthur is sort of from an original story. I don't believe there is any rule as to recruitment of these characters. Most Agents that aren't recruited from badfics have randomly fallen through plot holes to land in Head Quarters, I believe. If you found a funny way to write a recruitment encounter, then I'm pretty sure that would be okay too.

*pokes*

Welcome welcome! Also, have a bumper sticker! It says "What part of [series of editor's marks in red] don't you understand?"

I believe I see a Tolkien fan before me. I approve. {= D I believe you will approve of the name of the website I am about to introduce to you, which is the PPC Lost Tales archive. It is so called because there are several things there that you will not find anywhere else now that GeoCities has gone into the West. I maintain the site, so please let me know if you spot any typos, bad formatting, bad HTML, etc.

I think gattsuru covered the questions pretty well, but I'll add a couple of things:

1. No, I don't think there are any special rules about agents from original continua. They shouldn't be massively over-powered (or if they are it should rarely ever work to their advantage), but that goes for everyone. As for how they find out about the PPC, if you've no other way to justify it, there is always the good old standby of falling into HQ through a rogue plothole. {= )

2. I'm not familiar with RSS, but my eyes have worked extremely well for me for years now. ^_~ It's really not that much to keep track of. A few minutes a day pretty much does it unless you're like me and you feel a compulsive need to respond to almost everything.

3. Yeah, best to keep the number in mind and wait. Just make sure you tag "RC request" along with "Permission request" in the post title, because Araeph maintains the list of RCs by herself, so you need to make sure she knows about it.

Fear not the post button! It is your friend!

~Neshomeh

My, but you do sound above-average crazy. You'll do very well here.

Have a venomous arthropod!

Welcome to the board! Have a stuffed panda that eats, shoots and leaves. :D

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a cuppa. Don't ask.

Do with it what you will.

gattsuru seems to have stolen my fire with regards to Link-giving, but that's all right - as long as you're well informed.

About your second question - sorry, no. This is an old-style board and we like it this way. General policy is just to scroll down the main page and look for updates on the threads that interest you. Once things fall off the first page, they're generally not updated anymore anyway.

While I don't have any answers to your questions I do have an internet gift for you: Taffy!

I've not got Permission yet, but this is the general feel I've gotten so far :

There are a number of canon-recruit agents, as well as those recruited from badfic or the real world. Most canon recruits from published works are very minor characters destined for death, or AU versions of a minor character, and it should be well-justified. See this part of the Newbie FAQ. These rules aren't hard-coded -- there's an Agent Wash from a Firefly AU, for example -- but it's a good guideline. Those recruited from the canon or from badfic do typically pick a nickname of some sort.

From worlds that you've created or your own fanfic, however, it's a bit easier. Some agents have been built like that, or they can even come from entirely made-up works.

There's a "Receive Daily Updates" option at the bottom of the main forum page, but I've not tested it personally.

It's best to wait until you're requesting Permission to request a RC.

On the more general greeting side :

You've mentioned the PPC wiki's a great place to start, and it'll eventually get you everywhere. I'd recommend the Board FAQ if you've not already seen it. If you plan to write PPC missions, take a look at the Permission article and the Manual -- it's a good guide on what the PPC does, and the humor they try to do it with. The Mission Writing Guide can be a great help at figuring out answers to the more common questions, or finding questions that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. There's also the Big List of Everything PPC if you want to find new PPC missions to read.

You've mentioned the wiki, so I'll assume you may have already see the article on Legendary Badfic. Either way: before forewarned that they really are that bad and you don't (and if you want to keep whatever good taste you had, maybe shouldn't) feel like it's a test. Reading normal badfic is enough of a masochistic thing; it's better to stay at stabbing insanity rather than brain-breakingly flamethrower crazy.

And, in the tradition of providing newbies with random goods... *hands Goldenrod111 a mug of dandelion fizz*

This doesn't answer any of your questions, but I'm just letting you know I'm not allowing you to leave.


...Ever.

*chains Goldenrod to the board*

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Nice to see another JL/U Fan here. Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay.

Fair winds! Careful, the ship's sentient.

Hey, nice to see another superhero fan here. JL and JLU were two of the best superhero shows ever to light up the small screen.

This is a good place to get better at writing. You see a lot of examples of what not to do...

(From our victims, of course.)

Anyway, have a bag of punctuation. You'll need it.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin. Nice to meet you, too.

Welcome to the PPC, have an large egg of unknown origin! No clue what's in it.

Hello!

Have an apple pie.

Have a pink-and-turquoise carpetbag of endless space! (Striped, not both colors at once.)

Hey again.

No, I don't like Battlestar Galatica. I only watch it when my sanity decides to take a vacation and there is nothing else on television.

I needed to add some fandoms that I like:

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimiya, Dragon Ball Z and not GT, Cardcaptor Sakura, Pirates of the Carribean, His Dark Materials, and I'll add more when I remember them.

As for the presents, thank you! *Stashes them away* these might come in handy.

Cheers, Nyx

Have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use IRresponsibly.

I also like NCIS, House, Stargate both SG-1 and Atlantis (I promise to keep all comments on the new one to myself), and Artemis Fowl.

I'm glad you decided to come over and join.

This is a great place to learn about writing humor.

Of the day, that is. Not of you. *poke*

Your list of fandoms intrigues me. Perhaps when the time comes your agent(s) will join the Department of Implausible Crossovers and delve into the madness that is the House M.D. Crossovers section at the Pit. It is truly, truly frightening in places. My boys can't take it alone. {= P

I also invite you to peruse the PPC Lost Tales archive, which is the only place to find some of the older PPC works since GeoCities bought the farm. They are well worth it. I maintain the site, so please let me know if you spot any typos, HTML errors, bad formatting, etc.

And, in general, welcome!

~Neshomeh

Have a venomous arthropod! Don't worry, it's relatively friendly, so you probably won't need gloves.

Have a stuffed panda that eats, shoots and leaves (for all your grammatical needs)!

Welcome to the Board! Please dposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a...
NOM

Greetings from another Newbie!
Hope you have fun here. Sanity is not needed so I am told. Anyways, hope you're well. Have a nice stay!

One question though. Since you are a fan of Stargate, are you a fan of Battlestar Galactica?

I found I learned a lot about writing from PPCing other fics. So, you're in the right place for learning.

It's a good biscuit. It's chocolate chip.

Hereby I bestow upon thee The Links. They are Important. And fun. A lot of fun. But also Important.

Firstly, there's The Original PPC Series, which I'm assuming you've already read. Linked up top here is the The Board Constitution, and there's an FAQ: For the Board if you have any questions on that front. Another very useful page is the List of Everything PPC, which is, not surprisingly, a fairly complete list of everything PPC.

Please also take the time to look through our PPC Wiki, particularly the Permission article), as well as the Guide To The PPC, the Mission Writing Guide, the Slash-Sporking Guide, and the FAQ: For Newbies.

Also, a complimentary DMS hat, coat, and flag.

1. Only if there is a well thought out plot related reason for it.
   
   1. Because... ... You know, I haven't words for this. You do *know* our MO, right? Protect the canon from the Suefluence, etc? World One is the canon of canons; it's reality. It's the canon within which all other canons are formed. It's the canon most agents come from. It's the canon that has, like, biology and physics and shit that, er, works. We abandon it at our peril, because to abandon World One is to abandon logic and sanity and maths and physics and biology and pretty much everything that gives one a basis by which to judge a deviation from canon.
   
   If you have to ask this, I feel you may be missing something. Rereading is in order.

1. Part of the reason is that the Flowers -- or rather, their non-sentient ancestors -- came from World One. This implies that their homeworld of Origin is/was in the same universe as World One. Another is that... well, I'll move onto the second question.
   
   2. Another response to question 1 is that Agents tend to fall through plotholes from World One a lot more often than from elsewhere. Agents from, say, Middle-earth tend to have been recruited directly. I don't know why that is.
   
   As to plotholes changing people -- I suppose they could. In my conception of the Way Of Things, there's a whole bunch of different types of plotholes -- a geographical-abberation plothole would bring you to HQ, say, while a genderbending plothole would turn you into a girl/boy, depending. Since Mary-Sues create and to an extent use plotholes, having a plothole which does both would need you to identify a source -- a canon where there's a lot of fics involving simultaneous relocation and transportation. Lots of Sues are dragged from one world to another. Lots of Sues force canons to physically change. Not many do both at once, so they can't be too common.
   
   (And, since I'm here...)
   
   3. No-one in the entire history of recorded missions has been forced into the PPC. Some have been given pretty leading choices -- "We have to kill you unless you join" is basically what Jay and Acacia said to Ranger -- but never actually forced.
   
   4. Ah, but are they?
   
   Seriously. Fanfics are made up of words, or at least heavily shaped by them -- the DTE tends to run into showers of punctuation and entities like Lady Contrivance, and we know Agents can actually read the Words from inside the world. But has anyone ever tried in uncorrupted canon? It may well be that the Words are an alien intrusion which bends a preexisting world to match someone else's shape. Since the PPC doesn't destroy original fiction (ie, since even really bad canon characters don't create dangerous plotholes, which is the reason Sues are killed, at least in my version), that would mean that each original work of fiction is essentially a channelling by a World One author of an alternate, real world in another dimension.
   
   Not that only World One authors can create universes. The Musee de Universes Perdu in New Caledonia contains, as I recall, fiction from Gallifrey before its fall. The reason we don't see mission reports on those is that we wouldn't know what was going on.
   
   (Hey, anyone want to write a PPC mission set in The Grasshopper Lies Heavy?)
   
   hS

Here's some more of the questions.

3. Are there any specific circumstances that one can be "forced" into the PPC? (I expect not, but worth asking.)

4. As all the continua (Except maybe World One) are "created" by authors and the like as Word Worlds, doesn't this technically mean that the people inside them (And by extension, everything created in a Real Person Fic)are made of words, too? I'm talking in-universe, here.

Only two more really major questions. I'll get them up later, too.

1. It isn't. In fact, if anything, World One gets less protection than other continua, considering the fact that we-the-writers generally prefer to avoid dealing with Real Person fic, Bible fic, and other such Real World-based stories. Don't know where you got that idea.
   
   2. People fall into HQ from lots of places through plotholes. I suppose something like that could happen, though I don't believe it ever has. But, if you want a character with a certain species and personality, there's no reason not to simply write them that way in the first place, without the deus ex machina and shenanigans.
   
   ~Neshomeh

The giant squid did WHAT to Hogwarts?!?!?!?

Oh dear Glod... And here I'd thought I'd seen everything...

... I take it you two are part of the Department of WTF? I'm still slightly stunned by this. It DEFINITELY had to die.

I actually thought that fic was kind of funny. But your sporking is funnier by far.

How...why...how?

How did you even read this? Just the parts you quoted in the mission were enough to make me want to shotgun myself in the heart. Twice. You, sirs (or madams, or persons), have stomachs of tempered steel.

And now, I will go back to assuming that fic was an intentionally cracky parody, and not something the author wrote for personal enjoyment.

It would be appreciated if you could tell us, at the very least, what fandom your mission is for in your plug, preferably in your heading - I usually don't bother to open links if I don't know I'm going to recognise the fandom. Details such as department and focus characters would be good, too.

And that fic... ow. Someone's mind is terribly twisted. Though considering the incident in OFUM, I could see the squid taking a career as an actor...

Ah, big explosion. I like that big explosion - and you had every cause to create one. :)

(You still have a few little tech errors, though - missing a full stop after and a pad with a Big Red Button, for example. Nothing serious, but you should probably do another round of beta-reading next time.)

You know your opening AN contains a horrible tense shift, right?

Also, there are a few moments where it's kind of obvious you're trying to avoid the Pronoun Problem.

"Giant squid bang Hogwarts."

I would read further and complain about more, but that sentence put too many images in my head, and none of them end in a good place, and oh Glod giant squid WHY my brain may never stop screaming.

Glad to see someone finally killed that fic. I didn't think of charging a building with public masturbation.

A very strange 'fic indeed.
I'm highly entertained by the killing of it. Nice, straightforward, amusing.
I might have preferred a bit less cut-and-paste, though, and more Agent interaction.
Still, definitely fun times. For readers, not Agents, one thinks. And explosions are sweet.
I look forward to other missions.

I liked it. Though the colours are a bit off-putting and don't really fit with the background.

Honestly. The fic is giving me the creepy crawlies. What you chose to copy and paste over is completely and utterly... I can see why you wanted to kill it. :D

Script format is interesting. You're going with humour, so I'm rather enjoying it. Keep it up! I want to see how you squash it!

Read both, but not recently. Should probably get back into them.

Ah, I remember EOI. I loved that comic, probably because I've tried to run IRC rooms before. I should go back and read it again sometime.

I've just finished my first completed mission, which was only 4 years in the making!

After such a long wait, I sat down and finished it in one long (4 hour!) stretch.

(It's now 3:15 am, so I may well need more beta-reading than usual!)

Pluggery to follow very soon, once I fix up all the html tages and make sure everything's working on LJ.

Elcalion, accomplished.

I've yet to start, unfortunately. I really need to get around to writing both the story and the MST that I've been planning on, but procrastination plagues me so.

Strangly, St Patrick's Day isn't that popular outside the Anglo-Saxon part of the world.

Yesterday, I typed up about 40% of what I had written so far, that came at about 2200 words. Even the long hand version isn't finished yet, but I have started to look for a point where the agents can ambuse the Stu. He's a bit of an elusive fellow, not much of the centre point of the story, but does make everyone else out of character.

...I guess I'm the assistant resident teetotaler?

Anyway, I had a couple of older, unfinished stories I was working on for March Madness, but then my hard drive decided I had too much saved on my laptop, and deleted itself--to death!

I am now working on a new story, but it will be shorter and maybe not quite as professional as it would have been otherwise. It's a little different, and I don't know that everyone will like it, but it's been fun to work on, and I hope it will still be mildly amusing.

Still, I'm working on a couple miscellaneous PPC stories, if they count, though I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish them by the end of March.

I must've missed the memo.

Anyway, I might still manage to get something done; would have to be short, though. And I like your interlude - I'll send it back soon as I can.

I posted an interlude a few days ago. It is just under the Aster Selene thread. Now I'm working on a mission in Stargate: Atlantis. :D

Welcome to the club. Have a Long Patrol Cutlass (keeping with the running pirate theme), forged in Salamandastron by a Badger Lord of old. Happy Hunting!

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay here!

Yo. Have a cup of tea.

So you like history and PotC? Do you get seriously narked by the way those British naval uniforms date from after Port Royal was destroyed in an earthquake?

The ship is sentient. Fair winds!

(What with this flood of newbies? I'll soon be depleting my universe!)

You can pretend it's ship's biscuit, if you like. Less weevils though :)

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a little hat.

Thanks for the welcome, ya'll. Much appreciated. Also, all the presents, many of which can double as stage props or tools for a fast getaway if required.

Have a Byzantine Dromon!

I myself am a member of the 'People Who Enjoy the PotC Movies But Wish Disney Had Left the Rides Alone Club' (an even shorter roster).

Anyway, here's a venomous arthropod to keep you company on those long oceanic voyages...

We like knowing who's lurking.
Here, have a leash for your brain; it's flame retardant, and may help keep track if your mind goes wandering. ^^

I'll join the rest of the thread in being a bit awed at the 'middle of the ocean' thing; may I ask what you're doing there?
Nice to meet you~

Hello, fellow sailor! (I have not had the opportunity to sail on an ocean or on anything bigger than a dinghy, though.) Have a Clown Car Bag!

Here have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Glad to meet you. I must say that I have enjoyed being on a ship the few times that I have been aboard one (though admittedly that was always a cruise ship).

I bestow upon you a Gelatinous Dodecahedron, use it well.

Welcome!

...Yeah.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's an archery set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin! (Wow. The middle of the ocean? That's super cool!)

Wow, a sea bound person! That's pretty awesome! There's a member around here who is pretty liberal with the dispensing of boats, so that'll work.

Anyway, nice to meet you! Here is the first, or depending on how long it takes to type this and how busy the boards is today, the second or third, of many gifts, a bag of punctuation! It comes in handy. A lot.

Oh dear. I ran out of exclamation marks. Oh well, see you around.

1. I don't know anything about Final Fantasy before or after VII, so can't help here.
   
   2. I don't know if there is an official stance, but certainly the prevailing stance is that in-story author's notes distract from the story and are annoying; the place for author's notes is at the beginning or the end of the story/chapter, not within.
   
   3. If you mean the wiki, then no, we prefer people to wait until they have Permission to post their characters. However, there's nothing stopping you from putting them somewhere else, such as wherever you intend to post your missions when you DO have Permission. {= )
   
   4. Assuming by "causes" you meant "charges"... But yeah, there are plenty of circumstances like that. It's all about whether the fanfic violates the canon, and how badly. If a character speaking with bad grammar is canon, then it wouldn't be a charge in a fanfic (unless the ENTIRE FIC had horrible grammar).
   
   5. Agent training: possibly one of the most confused issues we have. Technically the answer is "yes," but the fact is that most agents never get it. Mostly they're just assigned a partner and learn everything from them, because if they don't they'll die horribly. For more on this, see the Manual, Volume 1, Chapter 5.
   
   Hope that helps. {= )
   
   ~Neshomeh

How do agents get trained? Is there a section of HQ that's reserved for it? Class-like things?

... to have affected every volume, actually. I don't know what happened (possibly a misfire in the internal links?) but every chapter 1 has turned redlink. It's just that most of them read [Insert text body here].

hS

Technically hS is in charge of the Manual, and I think there were one or two other people with the password to the account, but I have no idea what hS's feelings are about it these days, and pretty much everyone else moved on. So, yeah.

I don't see what you're talking about either, though. I do seem to recall a strange thing with Freewebs where a mouseover would cause the text to become red (might've been one of hS's sites), but it has nothing to do with links. It's just Freewebs being dumb.

Incidentally, what with a seeming revival of interest in the Manual, does anyone want to actually help FINISH the thing? If so, please please let me know. Send me content and I will bloody well code the thing, and it will be amazing. {= D

~Neshomeh

I'm not sure what you're seeing, but the page looks fine to me. Unlike the wiki, the manual is set up so that all links show red. Is it something beyond this? If it is, what browser are you using? I'm not as good as Techno-Dann, and am not yet an agent, but I do hope that I will be able to help you.

In regards to the Sues' assorted powers: What.

I read KHR and found it hysterically funny through the Daily Life arc. I started to get bored when the genre shift occurred and the story got serious, then gave up some way into the tournament arc.

Fun mission, though. Having things not go quite according to plan always makes for interesting reading.

I don't know the canon, but using a canon villain (I think?) to help take out a dangerous Sue, but then making them a greater threat, set this mission apart from most others, and made it a lot of fun to read.

'Cause, you know, if you don't tell me what you want, I can't do anything for you. {= )

(That goes for all of you!)

~Neshomeh

Thanks for the rec.

KHR! was, and still is, on my list of anime series' to check out. It lost repeatedly, to Code Geass, Gundam 00, Macross Frontier and now Kyou Kara Maou. One of these days I shall get around to watching it.

Ooh, nice mission. And I like the Code Geass reference.

I've never heard of Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, but you explained in there why things were out of character, so I think I followed it pretty well. Man, that was an uber powerful Sue. Between the two of them, I don't think they missed many super powers.

You know, the "I'm 14 and fail my english classes." (English being uncapped there because the Suethor left it uncapped.) Is probably one of the lamest excuses possible. She's admitting that she knows the story is total garbage, but she's going to post it anyway? Honestly, it takes some special kind of stupid (and arrogance) to do that.

I liked how you took them down, even if it was tense for a bit there at the end. Oh! Also, that mini chameleon sounds awesome!

Finally, someone who understands! Anyways, welcome to the PPC. I'm new too. here is a book on simple wand work. As a Potter look-alike (no joke there) it always comes in handy.

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Fair winds!

Hello! Um, have an infinite carpetbag?

Hi! Have a bag of punctuation! It can come in handy...

But, it's always good to welcome people officially. ^_^
Here, have a leash. It's flame-retardant, and perfectly sized for brains. Just the thing to stop your mind from wandering.
Hope to see you 'round~

Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a sabre from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin!

Have a venomous arthropod--your choice!

I'll look forward to reading some of your work!

Death to OOCness!

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here, and the little dears do so enjoy the taste. Also, here's a very small hat.

I comes bearing links. *drags out Big Bag O' Links and digs through it*

First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).

I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.

For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago. What do you mean I'm exaggerating? The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here.

Ooh, the UK, huh? Whereabouts in this fair country would you happen to be, if you don't mind me asking.

Slytherin!Harry/Draco is a pairing that just. won't. die! The only thing worse, in my mind right now, is Slytherin!Harry/Snape.

Hey, I didnt see any fandoms, and I dont think anyone else has asked (forgive me if I'm wrong). What ever they are, here is a wraith stun rifle. You never know when you may need to put someone out for a few hours. Happy Hunting!

Er... hello and welcome, I guess. Will you be staying with us long?

Free candy...
Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

Have an extraordinarily large egg. No clue what's in it.

Fair winds! Oh, you don't need a crew, the ship is sentient.

Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Have a chainsaw, instead.

Privet! Have a tin of Altoids. Creme de Menthe.

We don't really do WMDs. We're more into individually killing Sues with craftsmanship and also funky swords and things :)

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin.

I can't tell from your post if you're joining us, or just stopping by, but either way, have a venomous arthropod!

Hiya,

I'm new too. So far they've stolen my sanity and given me a tiny tiny hat.

Welcome!

I loved the bathtub. That was a fun idea. I do not know any French, so I never would have caught that as more than random spelling.

I did not notice the seam between the two sections.

That was a noxious Sue with the strange relationships.

You missed something near the beginning. When you were describing the buildings in "rivindell" you said "and there was a large looked suspiciously too much like a palace for the Agents' liking."

Well, it's nice to know that there's people out there who can put a firm end to this sort of thing. Why is the words brother-uncle just send a chill down my spine?

By the way, Neshomeh, if it's ok I'd like to request a drawing of Agent Logan. I have no artistic talent to speak of, so would be nice to have a drawing of him.

Elcalion, artistically-challenged.

English already HAS a word for a staircase that leads forward. We call that a BRIDGE.

That was definitely the strangest portrayal of Boromir I have ever read. He's both borderline evil AND the lust object at the same time. Weird.

Why would they want to mess with a kid movie? My kids love those movies, and this fic was so far removed from the spirit of them that I am very glad you killed it.

I also liked the Christmas decorating, and how Trojie apparently keeps invading your kitchen.

That's possibly the most random fandom to write about ever. And probably all because of that one tall elf character.

Great mission. Loved the chemistry between your agents. Can't wait to read more.

I liked it quite a bit (and was able to understand it, having played WoW for a bit at one point before I got here).

Hm, I wonder what happened to the heads of the people they killed... *snicker*

That is not what a female Orc should be like!

That was fun! Your agents have good chemistry, which makes for good dialogue. Their accents are fun to read, too, but don't intrude on the pace of the writing. I do wish you had included the mistakes from the original fic that caused some of the weird stuff to happen during the "history" segment; it sounds like that author resisted using logic whenever possible.

Now, I will go back to NOT thinking about the physical description of that Sue!Orc...

I have seen parts of this before, but not the whole thing, so:

I like it. ^^ Frankly, I think you're better at this than I am, since ridiculousness comes more naturally to you than it does to me, as manifested in much of Agent Barid's antics and the physical incarnations of errors in the badfic.

I don't think you actually went into what Agent Barid does with the dead Sue and Paladin, though. The bodies ended up in Molten Core, but what of the heads? You might want to go into that a bit.

The agents' accents might necessitate the use of a style sheet for future reference, so they stay more or less consistent. I'll probably make that when I actually edit the mission. ^^

~Neshomeh

It's gone now, so it looks normal again.

It was that way for a while, but it seems to have gotten better. Try again, and if it still looks bad, hold Shift and click on the Refresh button. If that doesn't work, follow this link to your preferences, go to the "Skin" tab, select any option other than "Slate" (I like the look of "Brick" for the wiki, but "Beach" doesn't look bad either), and uncheck "Let the admins override my skin preference." You should see the wiki in different colors and you will loose customized skins on other wikis, but at least you will be able to read this one!

Looks like any other wiki to me.

Hey, have a lasgun. It reeks of Harkonnen, so naturaly I don't want it. Just be sure not to shoot any shields, for things quickly become quite explosive.

By the way, Im a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica. Glad to know there are more of us out there. I'm quite alone within my circles.

Welcome to the PPC enrichment center. At the Enrichment Center, we believe that a highly skilled agent can endure the worst badfics while enduring the most intense pain.

Have some cake.

I hope you can find a good use for it.

Hmm, Blackadder fanfic could only be badfic. Without Rowan Atkinson it is nothing!

Hey, welcome! Nice to meetcha! Remember, everything has a fandom, no matter how obscure.

Have a bag full of punctuation!

Here, have a seventeen foot long, multi-colored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

For the welcomes and the presents! Yay! It's like Christmas, only in March, and only once.

Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

Fair winds!

Hmmm, week of the newbies huh? Is this a busy week or do you normally have multiple newbies every week? Did I accidently fall into a mass recruitment drive? Why am I finishing every sentance with a question mark?

Anyway, I know I'm knew here but welcome to the board. I guess we can all learn our way round together.

You already know me. You get no egg.

Welcome to the Board and ths insanity. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, they're very useful.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.
Also, here is a ravishing boot of coconights.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a Glitter-proof shield from the Raven Armory (it can't be Sueified and it serves a dual purpose as a temporary wall for blocking out Bad Things) and here is a bottle of bleeprin. Have fun with the insanity!

Help yourself to your favorite venomous arthropod, and some complimentary gloves to handle it with!

*pokes*

Oooh, sci-fi. I can't tell if you're being sarcastic about Battlestar Galactica, though. I like the re-imagined series a lot, personally, but that's all I've seen.

Anyway. If you like all that, I highly recommend Farscape and Firefly. They both suffered the same fate of being canceled before their time due to network stupidity, and also of making a comeback with a miniseries and movie respectively, due to their fanbases making a ridiculous amount of enraged noise. This probably says something about the shows and the fanbases.

~Neshomeh