Jan 2010 Archive, part b

Knowing Timelord biology (or at least the fact that it's messed up) I'm not entirely sure of the Neuralyzer would even work on him. Then again, he'd probably understand the PPC and everything else, so he'd either pretend to not remember or just come to an agreement not to mention it again.

Heck, I can imagine that.
"Hey, Doctor, look at the-"
"Yes, the pretty lights. I know."

is pretty damn stupid. He'd fall for the neuralyzer trick. If he had been written in character he'd probably figure it out, but if he were written in character there probably wouldn't be any agents in the story in the first place.

Speaking as a fairly new Doctor Who fan, I'd have to say the Doctor would be the best possible canon character to fall through, and also the worst, and it would be awesome to see this written.

I'm torn-- part of me thinks it would make perfect sense for the Doctor to look away from the pretty lights and bluff the Agents into thinking he'd been neuralysed-- but then he'd probably not bother going back. HQ does qualify as a parallel universe, right? As canons are all spots in the multiverse? So being in HQ-- or another canon-- would render the TARDIS powerless, and being a man Time Lord of brilliance, he'd probably just go on about his way. A love of getting into trouble probably would be trumped by a desire to not destroy the multiverse. *shrug*

Then again, part of me thinks he'd just go on his merry way, and that largely because it would be so awesome to see the Doctor rampant in HQ. But yeah.

(Also, I believe canon characters have made it into HQ before. They're generally extracted and neuralysed, eventually.)

For a start, the PPC are very very careful not to leave tech in any canon.

For another thing, when PPC tech breaks, it tends to break very spectacularly and often either melt or explode. This is for comedy. We like comedy.

And lastly, well, we *really* do like comedy, and doomsday scenarios aren't very comic. Let's not get too serious, eh? :D

There are characters in various fandoms that have knowledge of or are able to see PPC Agents. Elrond from LoTR, Jack Harkness from Torchwood, and Death from Discworld spring to mind. Death at the very least appears to be immune to neralyzation (although he is a good sport about it and allows it to happen anyway) and there haven't been any problems associated with this so far.

Falling into a plothole is usually just the result of the badfic author forgetting about the character, or shoving them out of the way when a replacement comes. Plotholes act more like sinkholes in that way - one entrance, no exists, like a little bubble of reality. The portals agents use are generated using plotholes, but aren't plotholes in themslves. And, even if plotholes were to act like wormholes, there's no reason any of them would lead to the PPC - after all, no badfic author writes us into their stories. Besides, we take canons into HQ all the time for medical purposes, the Doctor included.

So don't worry, your armageddeon is so far from likely as to be more or less impossible. :)

We put bells around all their necks. /kidding

You're right! One misplaced DORKS and the entire continuum could disintigrate. Oh man this could be bad. Even though there is the Very Important Rule of not leaving anything behind, this could be catastrophic if say a newbie left one behind on accident.

I've been doing it for years, and as far as I know the only *essentials* are a canon source and invoking the name of the canon author in the shouting part :) Feel free to do whatever you like - it's kind of a case of startling/jarring the Author-Wraith out of the canon character, so shouting and a certain amount of blunt-instrument trauma tends to work well.

We just include charges in the exorcism because it kind of makes the whole thing a bit more interesting and gives us a proper reason to *collect* charges in the first place - I didn't used to, back in the day. The incorporation-of-chargelist thing is something Pads and I have only really been doing the last couple of years.

Like everything with PPC procedure, it's very individual.

As to nicking necromancer's bells from the Old Kingdom, I would think not. *However*, that doesn't mean that, say, the PPC General Store wouldn't have a set of ex-Sue's necromancer's bells that an Agent who was a bit skint might have traded in for food sometime ... there's more than one way to skin a cat, remember :)

-Trojie, pleased to see someone else considering the Bad Slash beat

... and no-one's spoken up yet, I'd say go for it :)

It'll be nice to see another one of your missions!

And loved it! I was surprised that I did. I hadn't planned to see it as it looked like it would be an "effect movie" but then two of my friends raved about it after seeing so I thought I might as well.
Yes the effects were good but they weren't in your face. The story line may be a 'classic' but there is a reason that story line keeps being used. It works. I thought the characters were well acted and I found I cared about what happened to them. I loved the soundtrack.

Definitely worth seeing, big screen and 3D if you can!

I really liked the soundtrack. I went to see it with Zotz, and he griped about how it was so closely tied to African history. My response: "Nine-foot-tall blue alien catgirls dressed in feathers. Don't tell me you didn't like it."

Loved it. The 3D version is great. I especially like the landsapes, and in the credits it was fun to notice that WETA did the special effects, as they did in the LotR movies.
Unfortunately, I could only watch it in German (from Germany myself), but as soon as the DVDs are available, I will watch in English.
This whole concept of a forest interlinked is fascinating, I think. I wonder how that works biologically? And as Honu_Wahine wrote, it would be interesting to learn Na'vi.
I'm probably going to watch again for the fun :).
Elorie

Doesn't mean I liked it particularly. But then again, as a film student it take a lot to switch my brain off.

I've actually seen it twice, once in 2D and once in 3D afterwards. I have to say, it's one of those films that you MUST see on the big screen, because at home you're going to loose half of the detail. It was my first film in 3D too, and I have to say that it's definitely worth it - for the CGI bits. The technology still needs some work (particularly with things in the very front), and it looks a lot better applied on the CGI then on the actual footage.

However, I just know in twenty years people are going to be looking back on it and going "... what's so special about the graphics in this? They're awful", and unfortunately that's about the only thing that makes it special at the moment because the plot is so horribly over done. I actually thought that the characters were quite good (vaguely well explored and pretty well acted), and that it was well written, but I don't think that that's enough to save it.

So there we go. Worth seeing, but it won't age. In my opinion. :3 I am, however, waiting for the million and six DVD copies so I can get the one with the most extras on. *_________* Some of the behind the scenes stuff is going to be epic and I can't wait to see.

Eeeeeee! A mini-me! Heheh. Sorry 'bout that. My name's got an underscore in it though.
My first thought on coming out of Avatar(in real 3D, no less) was "Quarritch got shot!" And I even invented a dance to go with repeated chanting of the above quote. I got a lot of strange looks.
The best part of the movie was the fact that Cameron hired a team of linguists to make the Na'Vi language(rumor has it, there's a dictionary in the works)... I want to learn Na'vi now.
BtB, I started a second mission in this fandom, and the mini just happend to be an adorable little mini-Turok. It's so cute...!
Honu_Wahine

I mean, the special effects were gorgeous, but the plot was pretty cliched and predictable. And then there are the Unfortunate Implications, like that Jake is one hell of a Mighty Whitey. It wouldn't have been so bad if Jake hadn't been the one to ride the really badass lizard and unite the tribes and marry the chief's daughter, but as it is ...

I think you did a very nice job of characterizing your agents in their first go-through here. Between the two, they seem to cover both ends of the cazy spectrum. I like the way S.A.M.S. swears in that military code I don't know the name of, and I also like how she expresses her emotions visually, but unconsciously, sort of like in old Disney/Looney Tunes cartoons (growing devil horns and the like).

A couple of little notes/questions:
First, how is Sidhe's name pronounced? In my head, I say SEE-duh.
Second, I noticed that in the paragraph where S.A.M.S. reveals herself to the 'Sue, tunnel is misspelled "tunel." Which sounds to me like a funnel for tuna.

Pretty good, though I don't know the canon.

Are the font changes deliberate? It's a bit... jarring for the font to change from one paragraph to the next.

As for the cuts... are you posting using the rich text editor? That's the usual culprit for effing up a cut in such a way. I don't know how to fix it if you are, besides going into the HTML editor and completely stripping all coding and manually coding everything.

Nicely done; you worked in that bit about Sam's Sueish traits vanishing upon notice quite well, if a bit subtely.

There's one thing I must mention, and which you were probably unaware of (I really must finish that Newbie FAQ soon): canon characters will always remain under the Sue's influence until she is dead, and you had Hogan walk off without trying to help her. It's not too big a deal this time since the author apparently didn't write him as liking her very much, aside from going a bit parental, but next time be aware that one of the main problems for most agents is making the kill covertly, or restraining the canon characters until the Sue is dead.

Other than that, not bad. Congratulations on your first mission.

It is very nice even though I had no clue there was a 'Hogan's Heroes' thing but I like. And the Sue was bad. But the ice pick was a nice touch.

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate and enjoy your stay! And, it's nice to see another TVTroper on the Board as well! (I myself have dabbled in some Tropery, as it were)...

Welcome to the PPC! Here's an archery set from the Raven Armory (graciously er- donated by the Mary Sues) and a bottle of bleeprin. (It's nice to see another Redwall fan.)

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, too. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

A fan of Discworld, Soul Eater, and Ghost in the Shell? I think we're gonna get along fine. *grins*

As far as GitS goes, you a fan of the movies, manga, Stand Alone Complex, or all three, may I ask?

Have a harpsichord! For harpsichords are several types of awesome.

It's always nice to meet TV Tropes addict. And the Vorkosigan Saga - I got into that a while ago. Fortunately it doesn't seem to have much in the way of badfic.

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod!

Here, have this shiny brick. Sorry about the sue blood still on it, (I hadn't got around to cleaning it yet...)

Hello and welcome! I have the Big Bag O' Links for you...

Well, since you've already seen Original Series and the Constitution, take a look at our PPC Wiki, which is always growing and usually reliable. If you intend to write PPC missions of your own someday, please read the Permission article thoroughly, and make a point of chatting with us around here for the next few weeks - don't be shy; we don't bite. Also, the List of Everything PPC is a great resource.

A word of caution - every so often, some cheeky sod will try to goad you into reading a Legendary Badfic. Don't. There's a reason we take the time to warn people off. It's not a test of machoism or anything like that - we like our fellow agents mildly insane, not flamethrower-crazy.

If you have any more questions, check the FAQ For The Board, or the FAQ For Newbies, which hasn't been written yet but will be soon (did I mention we like randomness?), or just ask here. We like questions.

All that said, welcome. It's nice to meet you :)

Have a softnose laser. If that doesn't work for you, try this lovely Miss Goodboy brass knuckle.

Redwall, you say? I would look at the Laburnum/Foxglove missions, and, if you can stand it, the That Sersies missions.

Enjoy!

I am delighted to offer you a sparkly rock. -offers-

You've done much more research than I did. Seems like you'll do well here. -grins-

--anamia

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here. Also, here's a coconut. You probably shall need it, but it's useless if you have no hammer.

Well, I guess after you've worked through mine and Pads/Trojie's missions you deserve a short break.

Have several Dire Wallabies.

I'm sure someone else will come along shortly with a big load of links for you, although it sounds like you've found most of the main ones :)

It's good to meet you too, and I hope you enjoy our Boardly madness and stick around to join in our discussions and have a good laugh.

Welcome!

-Trojie, for once, first on the welcome wagon

Hello and welcome! Have some chocolate and enjoy your stay here at the PPC Board!

And I particulary like your choice of Fandoms, being quite a fan of fantasy and supernatural series myself...

Now, lessee.

We have a softnose laser, from the Artemis Fowl continnum, but, since I see Naruto on your list of continua, you also shall have a DeSue'd Sharingan eye to keep in a jar and creep people out with.

Enjoy!

All you girls and guys are so nice! *happy*
After all these presents I felt compelled to make a list to credit everyone for their kindness!
In chronological order:
A hug (+ a bucket to deposit sanity) by Maudlin Hart (Thanks, and first one!)
A mute button and a bottle of Bleeprin (much oblidged for that!) by Bronwyn
A Mammoth Tank by WikiMaster (maybe for an Autorwraith to experiment on some time later?)
A titanium spork and a box of air by Aztec (Weapon, yay! Where's the next Sue?)
A granite pillow and a DMS flag by Sedri (Yay!)
A sparkly rock by anamia (Whee, sparkly!)
Lembas by The Trojanhorse (The Trojie *gasp* gave me something)
A venomous arthropod by doctorlit (Maybe I can keep that in the Tank?)
A gold-plated egg whisk by Sara (New favourite weapon!)
A tall ship by Khajidu (Wish I could take it to Valinor sometimes...)

Thank you all so much! Such a huge collection already!

How many times I tried to post this...

Ooh, a physics major! I live with one of those. Inertial reference frames are fun.

So have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the rapid and severe changes in acceleration ride.

It's always good to have another The Lord of the Rings fan.

Good to hear we're expanding our national base! Have a venomous arthropod.

As to attempting LittlefootxCera, it's a big read and I'm afraid the formatting isn't great, so I apologise for that! The missions after it are generally a lot easier to read. I hope you enjoy them all though :)

Hello! Welcome to the board. I offer you a sparkly rock as a token of welcome. -offers-

--anamia

You also get a little DMS flag because you will, of course, be joining our department, won't you?

Also, here are... The Links!

Firstly, there’s the Original PPC Series, which is a must-read if you haven’t already. Also, please take a look at our Board Constitution (which, sadly, sometimes just vanishes, but the central rules can also be found here) and the PPC Wiki, which is a great source of Random Information, and the List of Everything PPC, which links to all sorts of helpful pages.

If you intend to write PPC missions of your own someday, please read the Permission article thoroughly, and make a point of chatting with us around here for the next few weeks - don't be shy; we don't bite.

A word of caution - every so often, some cheeky brat will try to goad you into reading a Legendary Badfic. Don't. There's a reason we take the time to warn people off. It's not a test of bravery or anything like that - we like our fellow agents mildly insane, not flamethrower-crazy.

If you have any more questions, check the FAQ For The Board, or the FAQ For Newbies, which hasn't been written yet but will be soon (did I mention we like randomness?), or just ask here. We like answering questions.

All that said, welcome. It's nice to meet you :)

Welcome to this corner! Please accept a titanium spork and a box of air.

Welcome, welcome.

Don't be intimidated by the native speakers of English. They make typos just like everyone else. (Most of the worst fanfic actually comes from native speakers).

Have a Mammoth Tank!

Here, have a mute button and a bottle of bleeprin. You'll need them, Trust me.

Oh! And don't read the legendary badfic. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket* You shan't be needing it here. Also, here is a hug. You shall get that whether you like it or not. Yay! I got to the newbie first! It's mine, all mine! Ahahahahahaha!

The Onion does indeed seem to merit its reputation for hilarity.

When you remove the supernatural elements from Twilight, the Edward/Bella romance is STILL creepy and unrealistic.

I love the Onion.

I like it. -grins- I like it a lot. Slob vampire husbands take heed: your wives are going to start cheating on you with badly written romance novels!

--anamia

the closing line is the best part of it. Reality check!

Avast! Parallels!

If you like Dragon Age, you might wanna check out The Witcher, if you haven't already. Pretty similar, but just enough different to keep it interesting.

There are a lot of fictional organizations that remind me of the PPC. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if the Grey Wardens and the PPC have some kind of agreement or something.

I've got several characters but I'm not really satisfied with any of them. My Wizard is powerful, but not powerful enough compared to his absolutely minimal health, my warrior needs more power and less defence, rogues aren't too good anyway...

It's a lot of fun either way, though. I love playing as a dwarf, just because I can't help but give them all the same personality as Gimli. xD

Fetish for plot devices? Maybe? *shrug*

I think it's chargeable, too.

It's the ideal way to get the feisty-beautiful-self sufficient-secretly romantic heroine in the presence of the lust object, whoever he (or she) might be in any fic. That way they show their independence (they were forced into this marriage! They would never have considered it otherwise, because they are Strong and Brave, and As Good As Any Man. It's their horrible families who don't understand them! etc.) And then from there it's easy to get them to fall in love.

If you think about it, all it really is is a rip off of Taming of the Shrew. Shakespeare does it better...

As to fetishes... well, who am I to say what goes on inside a suethor's brain? I'd rather keep my remaining sanity for as long as possible.

--anamia

Or three, actually. Rose/Ross use (respectively) a fencing sabre that she shaved down to be faster, and consequently more cutty (but less stabby), and a staff pen (Complete with a stabbing-sharp Speedball No. 2 nib) which he carries everywhere. Also, 20lbs of naval brass in the form of the bell off of their grandfather's yacht. This serves half the time as an exorcism tool, half the time... not. *pushes a bell-dented Sue-corpse under a table, whistling innocently*

http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Assassination_Methods

It is sorted by fandom and "weapon" of choice.

I've just been given a gold-plated egg whisk, and as soon as I am an agent, I plan to use it. So does it count?

This page may be a help. It doesn't include weapons that have yet to be used to kill a Sue or when such a killing hasn't been updated to the page (for example, Agent Drake's spork railgun), but there are some funny ones there.

As for questions, I'll nth the "Response Center number/names" and "Makes-Things is dead" stuff (and other big changes since TOS, like the portables portal thing). Putting a very obvious link to the Featured Agents list might help demonstrate where some of the more recognized PPC missions are and what their agents look like.

Beyond that, are there any stylistic recommendations? More places to suggest double-spacing at the end of a paragraph certainly can't hurt. The vast majority of PPCing uses third person omniscient with third person limited being in a distant second place, always past tense. I assume third person objective to be a poor idea, and past tense to be necessary for most of the mission reports unless the character wouldn't write that way, but is first person usable? Any preferred format for scene changes?

Uses a sledgehammer. It was unique when I decided on it, not sure if it is anymore.

Hello and welcome to the PPC Board! Have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the PPC! Sorry that I'm late. Here's a dagger set from the Raven Armory and a bottle of Bleeprin.

Anyway, a bit late, but: Welcome! I see you've already read the Monster That Is My Draft up there, so I'll just give you my gifts - a Capillary Towel and a spoon - and the other Links that should come in handy:

The Original PPC Series
The Board Constitution)
The PPC Wiki
The List of Everything PPC
The Permission article
and!
The FAQ For the Board

So again, welcome. It's nice to meet you :)

Here, have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, as well. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Have a set of tongs, they're stronger then they look and could help you avoid have to touch a Sue!

So... Redwall and Discworld, eh?

So, in addition to the softnose laser that I will throw at you-

*throws*

-I shall also chuck a Miss Goodboy brass knuckle and a DeSue'd Martin Sword Carbon Copy (DMSCC, not to be confused with DMS,) your way for your collection of shinies.

*chucks*

Help yourself to your favorite venomous arthropod!

What fandoms are you into?

Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here. Also, here are lots and lots of assorted root vegetables.

Aren't big cats interesting?

Another newbie, whee. I'm not the only one new around here, nice to know. I don't think I have anything to offer, sorry.
But I heard newbies get bumper stickers, and I give you this useful link (contains almost everything that has to do with the PPC): http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/20306.html
So, I welcome you, and wish you good luck.
Elorie

Hey, I've seen you've already come upon the wiki, and you're probably read it already, so that's neato.

If you got any questions you're welcome to add me on AIM, YIM, or MSN: fairladypsyche for AIM and YIM and fairladypsyche at hotmail.com for MSN (with Gtalk and my email up at top there). I'm on most of the time, so if you need any help I'm more than willing to answer any questions you have. ^_^

Yay! First to greet! Welcome! And, as proof that I truly do welcome you here, I offer you this sparkly rock. -offers-

I'm certain someone will be around with The Links eventually, so I shall simply greet you yet again and hope that you stay.

--anamia, who is not hyper right now, thank you very much. well, not very hyper. all right, dammit, i'm hyper. sue me. (Lack of capitalization deliberate, I assure you.)

Given I spout PPC knowledge at the slightest opportunity and rush to help people out, and have a Real Life reputation for being an utter mother hen, if anybody would like to be adopted by me, feel free to ask. ^__^

My email address that I use for PPC stuff is cassie.dramateacher AT googlemail.com, which is also my Gtalk address. I can also be contacted on MSN Messenger at cassie5squared AT hotmail.co.uk, although I'm not on there very often any more.

(Note: despite my email address, I'm not actually a drama teacher, or a teacher of any sort. Honest. I didn't pick it. XD)

I can be some sort of sibling, to anyone who doesn't mind the occasional bout of squeeing over New Kitten. (It gets a bit undignified...)

Email and gtalk are birgit dot fishwife at gmail dot com.

Life's too hectic, and I'm not actually online often enough to be of any use. My apologies to all you un-adopted souls, but I'm sure everyone will find a new sibling soon. :)

I'd love to adopt a newbie!

Be warned: I am a tad scatterbrained. But I'm pretty darn friendly and promise not to bite.

Email, Gtalk: gahro.hevtee AT gmail DOT com

*grins innocently* Just showing initiative! Really!

E-mail: Vixenmage AT gmail DOT com
AIM, if you can catch me: Vixenmage

(Creative as hell, I know.)

Admittedly I'm not going to be around too much until late February, but anyone who wants to ask questions or just talk or whatever or get an eye run over writing or squee about fandoms (preferably ones I know! List is on my user wiki page) is welcome to email me:

trojahorseshadowfax AT gmail DOT com

I'm not usually around on gmail chat and I don't have any other chat programmes either (used to be a chat addict, have gone pretty much cold turkey so that I can get WORK done during the day and still remain online) but I answer emails pretty promptly. I'm in NZ so my timezones are spasticated compared to most other people, just as a warning.

-Trojie

I too would like a big sib, mostly to answer the annoying little questions i have.

Also, I don't know if I get to do this, but I'd be willing look over other missions and check at least for grammar and coherency. I don't promise to be an expert at PPC canon (i'm not, obviously. I've only been here a week, after all,) but I flatter myself that my English skills are good enough to beta.

My AIM name is anamia8742, and my email is thirteenskater(@)gmail(.)com (without parentheses, obviously). AIM's your best bet, since I don't check my email nearly as often as I should.

--anamia

I can be adopted? Wheee! *bounces happily*
*serious on*
Actually, I feel a lot like being adopted or at least helped a little.
The main thing is fo course getting into this whole PPC stuff and to have someone I can drive (even more) insane with useless questions.
There is another thing though; as I am not native to English, I sometimes have trouble with colloquials, grammar rules or Big Words and thus wouldn't mind someone help me a little in that department.
I hope this is the right thread to post this, if not, kindly ignore my babbling.
Elorie
*serious off*
Yay! Someone adopt me! *puppy eyes*

Am I going insane already? Haven't behaved like that in a long time. Maybe I had to much chocolate...

This just occurred to me last night, and I thought it belonged in the article. Are you allowed to post agent bios on the wiki and/or request Response Centers before getting permission, or should you wait until you've gotten it?

--anamia

I feel very foolish for all those typos, but I suppose it's all my own fault, posting at midnight. What was I thinking? ;p

This feedback is great. I'm breaking the draft into three articles to see how it works out, and I'll post them sometime in the next day or so (on my livejournal, this time, to save on complex posts) so you guys can see if it works better that way. (And hopefully with no typos. :P)

Anamia, you're quite right - the Emergencies section needs to stay with the main guide, so I'm doing a bit of fiddling in order to make all that work.

Neshomeh, I'm especially glad to see you approve! It being your idea and all. I've changed the FAQ answer about recruiting badfic characters to fit with what you said, because I agree - I just didn't know anyone had actually done that. Eep.
To be honest, I started off thinking that this would a 'pre-Permission' thing as well, but the vast majority of questions I found in old threads were more mission related, so it sort of... changed. I think I can arrange it, though, so one or even two of the three parts will be more pre-Permission than pre-First Mission.

Doctorlit, I'll add that question to the FAQ. And the answer would be - the former. A misspelled mini takes its form from the fandom of the fic it's in. I don't think there are Real World minis, actually, which is good, since so many continua are set in the real world - it would all get very confusing.

Thanks again, all of you. "Awesome", really? I feel so shy...

This is quite informative, about things I was only starting to think about, and things I hadn't even thought of yet.

One weird question came to mind while I was reading the section about minis, and I'm not sure this is even the place to ask it, but here it is. Say a writer misspells the name of a real-world location (like Paris) in a fic set in, for example, Les Miserables. Would this produce a mini-Brick because of the fic's setting, or would it be a real-world mini (whatever that would be) because Paris existed in the real world before Les Miserables was written (making Earth the formative "canon" for Paris)?

I likes it. Kudos for taking the time to write it all out!

As someone still waiting to ask for permission that was really, REALLY helpful! I don't find it too long, it covered a lot of needed info, I can't think of anything else to ask at this point.

You deserve some kind of medal or at least a cookie.

No? Well, whatever. NI!

Seriously, Sedri, you are awesomeness unto itself.

*bows*

I'm sorry, but I can't find anything more to say that won't get repetitive of the second line.

I really have no words. It's great. ^_^

I do agree that the How to Write a Mission can go into a separate article, though. When I first proposed the FAQ, I was thinking mainly of "pre-Permission" type stuff--though maybe it would be better to say "pre-first mission"?

I dunno. It's hard to think properly in a cafe. {= P

I would note that recruits from badfic are generally better if they come from an actual badfic. Like you say, if that's just something you want as a background for an agent, it isn't strictly necessary to go hunting for a source; but I think the characters who have a real point of origin have a little extra depth, somehow.

... Maybe it's just because two of mine are like that.

Anyway. I am amazed that you got this together so quickly, Sedri. You've earned a rest!

~Neshomeh, who feels too incoherent to be any further use, unfortunately.

First off, I want to inform Sedri that she is truly awesome. -nods earnestly- Thank you so much for writing this!

Now onto the draft itself. Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have an odd fixation with official-y things, and so enjoy reading FAQs, Rules and Regulations, and similar things. This one was informative and well written. I didn't mind the length, but I suspect I'm in a minority. At least, among newbies. Then again, perhaps if they can't be bothered to read the FAQ they don't belong here...

However, if you're looking to chop things out, I would suggest moving some of the mission guideline stuff to a new post. I know you already thought of that, so basically I'm seconding it. I would put all of part 3 except the emergencies into its own section and link the main FAQ page to that. I think the part about not writing emergencies should stay on the main page, since it's important and writing Epic Stories to impress everyone is tempting.

That should cut it down a bit. Apart from that, I have no useful suggestions that don't concern random spelling/grammar stuff which I imagine you can catch on your own. You seem to have covered everything I wondered and more.

Thanks once again!
--ananmia

Wow. This is awesome.
I think it is perfectly fine as it is, though I have come across a few spelling mistakes. To that end, gattsuru has already commented on that, including quotes.
Again, truly Wow.
I thank you very much for this.

Very impressive. I can't think of any improvements.

... that Sedri is declared awesome. I am impressed by all the time and dedication that it took to come up with this so fast.

Why didn't I think of this before I posted four seperate parts? No idea. Probably because it's midnight. I will now have much more sympathy for those people who post at two in the morning out of sheer enthusiasm and relief for having finally finished.

Either way, here's the link to the entire thing over at my livejournal. Anonymous comments are allowed, so feel free to put your feedback there. Or here. I don't mind. :)

http://sedri.livejournal.com/81214.html

==FAQ: For Newbies==
Miscellaneous common questions that we weren’t able to squeeze in above.

===Divisions and Departments===

====What’s the difference between a division and a deparment?====
Generally, [[List of Departments|departments]] deal with the content of a badfic (Sues, Bad Slash, Mpreg, et cetera), while [[Divison|divisions]] usually deal with particular fandoms within a department.

===Is there a department for OOCness?===
Despite the strange array of departments that do exist, no. Being [[out of character]] is more of a charge than a type of mission, though there are some missions that truly have no other major charge. These are usually routed to whichever available agent knows the fandom best, regardless of department.

===Mission Proceedures and Technology===

====Do disguise generators just project an image of the disguise over the agent, or do they actually change the agent’s physiology?====
The latter. Remember that when Jay and Acacia were Ents, they were shot with arrows and were perfectly fine until the disguises were dropped. However, the agent’s mind will remian unaffected.

====About neuralyzers – they require eye contact, right? What if the character doesn’t have eyes?====
You’ll probably have to take them to FicPsych and hope they don’t go loopy along the way. Or knock them out. Whatever works.

====What’s the difference between a Character Analysis Device and a Canon Analysis Device?====
A [[Canon Analysis Device]] measures how out-of-character a canon character is, while a [[Character Analysis Device]] takes similar readings for an original character, such as a Mary Sue. There are [[Combined CAD|combined versions]] around, but they're not too common.

====I’m not sure I quite understand about reading Words while in the fic. What do they look like?====
It seems to be different for everyone. Some agents have described the Words as plain, white, and blocky, while others report sparkly pink cursive writing.

====PPC technology seems to break down a lot. Are you sure it’s safe?====
As safe as trying to forcibly separate a Twu Luv bad slash pairing. Just remember that hundreds (or thousands… or millions…) of agents use [[Portal|Portal Generators]], [[Remote Activator]]s, [[Disguise Generator]]s and [[CAD]]s every day, and we’re still here. Yes, when PPC technology breaks, it tends to do so rather spectauclarly, either melting or exploding, but this is for sake of comedy. We like comedy.

====I’ve got a great idea about how to kill a Sue! But I need to take her to Fandom X, and she’s from Fandom Y. Can I?====
Generally, Sues are disposed of within the Word World of the fic, but exceptions are made for sake of poetic justice, irony, and humour. Agents generally try for all of those anyway,.

====Is there a standard proceedure for exorcisms? The ones I’ve read are all a bit different, and not everyone reads out charge lists.====
In the words of [[Trojie]], a veteran of Bad Slash missions: “It’s pretty flexible. As far as I know the only essentials are a canon source and invoking the name of the canon author in the shouting part. Feel free to do whatever you like – it’s kind of a case of startling/jarring the Author-Wraith out of the canon character, so shouting and a certain amount of blunt-instrument trauma tends to work well. We just include charges in the exorcism because it kind of makes the whole thing a bit more interesting and gives us a proper reason to collect charges in the first place.”

====What do we do if a canon character is killed in the story?====
Presuming said character isn’t meant to die, then if it happens in the background, your agent can just take a detour from the main events and save them. If you have to let them die due to lack of charges, get the body to Medical. Canons can be resurrected if necessary, but it’s best to avoid it if possible.

====If a character is hurt but healed by the Sue, is that also undone when she’s killed?====
Well, if the Sue uses proper methods to treat them (not Silver Tears or some other trite), then it should be fine – after all, they’re usually unfairly good at things. If she uses some absurd magic or a toothpick and mud… you could play it either way. There are no firm rules about what canon fixes when the Sue is gone.

====What if the Sue has kids, or is pregnant? Or MPreg babies? Do I have to kill them? If they die in the fic, do I have to save them?====
Child-killing is a fairly ugly business, which is why we have the [[PPC Nursery]]; all rescued younglings can go there. If a character is pregnant and you have reservations about killing the innocent, you can use the [[Embryo Extraction Kit]] or just wait until they give birth and then snatch the baby. On the other hand, if they die in the story, or if you’re not bothered by the issue, go ahead and treat them like any other bit character.

====Characters can be recruited, right? Does that mean I can save a character who died in canon and bring them to work in the PPC?====
No. Not major characters. You could recruit dead minor characters if you justify it, and of course, any original characters can be saved if you want, but remember just because you can doesn’t always mean you should. Not every possible recruit would be able to work in the PPC – some of them would just have a brain meltdown.

Also, it’s pretty standard form for any recruited character to be renamed.

====I can pinch souveniers while on missions, can’t I?====
Little bits and bobs no one will miss? Yes. Stealing huge or significant items? No.

===Other Mission-Related Questions===

====Where should I post my completed missions?====
It’s up to you. Livejournal is a common choice, but if you have your own website, feel free to put it there. You can post directly to ourr [http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/profile LJ community] if you like. FanFiction.Net (known around here as [[The Pit]]) is an option, but we don’t suggest it, as the admin are very likely to remove it.

Whereever you choose to post, make sure you link us to it! Post a link here the Board, and if you use your personal livejournal, a link post on the community would be very much appreciated for ease of access and archival purposes. Also, many agents have permanent links to all their missions on their profile pages on the Wiki. We highly recommend doing this.

====How do co-writes work?====
There are several ways to do it, and the choice of which is up to you and your partner. You could:
* have one person write the entire story and give it to the other for checking, which requires the second author to have a great deal of faith in the first author’s ability to write their agents in-character.
* split the story into sections and have each person write certain parts.
* meet up on an IM chat and write the story line-by-line together.
* discuss the mission in detail and write the actual story text later.
* use the googledocs method, which seems to be the most effective/popular: Both writers must have a gmail account, but then you can have the text in an online word document that all parties can access and edit (simultaneously, if you like). Generally, the writers have an IM window open at the same time to discuss ideas, and each take turns to write a few paragraphs.

===OFUs and Minis===

====How do I go about creating an Official Fanfiction University? Does Permission cover that?====
No, because all though we are closely affiliated with the OFUs, they are not part of the PPC organisation. In years past, one would ask [[Miss Cam]] for permission to do a spin-off, but she is no longer involved, so generally, one can just start. However, it’s good to [http://www.misssandman.com/LOTR/ofum.html check and see if an OFU already exists for your chosen fandom]. You must also credit Miss Cam for the original idea of OFUs.

====Can I write two OFUs at once?====
Yes, technically, but we don’t recommend it. A huge number of OFUs are never finished due to lack of time or energy, and that’s with just one.

====Can I start an OFU if one has already been made for that fandom?====
It would be rather rude, and there is a rule about only one OFU per fandom. However, you could always ask the author if you could contribute, or – if it’s been abandoned – if you could continue it for them.

====Aww, minis are cute! I want one! How do I go about adopting one?====
Well, if a Boarder has put up a list of ones they’ve found recently, you can simply ask then and there. If there aren’t any around now, go to the [http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/20306.html List of Everything PPC] and scroll down to the links concerning minis, though some of those are broken. Generally, volunteers now keep tabs on mini lists; [[Cassie Young|Cassie]], for instance, has [http://www.freewebs.com/cassie5squared/anunofficiallist.htm taken over the list of mini-Balrogs] from Miss Cam.

====Can I make up a new type of mini?====
Only if it’s not [[Mini|already listed]] for that fandom. Also, try to choose something unique – lots of continua have dragons.

====If a mini is of a creature that’s venemous / spiky / super strong / made of fire, does that mean it could kill me?====
Not likely. Minis are mostly harmless. Their physical attributes rather heavily watered-down versions of the original, which is why mini-Balrogs can be cuddled with only minor burns. Similarly, a poisonous creature would probably only be able to inflict a mildly painful sting as a mini.

====What if the misspelling is a place name?====
As long as it’s a name, it’ll create a mini of the same species as any other misspelling in that continuum – Arwenn and Modor would both be mini-Balrogs.

====What’s a mini-Boarder?====
The result of misspelling someone’s name on The Board. Don’t worry, we take it in good humour.

==== Would a misprint in the canon produce a mini?====
Interesting question! We’re not sure. Why don’t you decide?

===Miscellaneous===

====Are Jay and Acacia still around? I’d love to talk to them.====
Unfortunately, both have retired, though we do hope they’ll drop in sometime to see how we’re doing.

==== There are so many rules to remember! Do I have to ask Permission for everything I do?====
Certainly not. Permission is given once, after which you're pretty much free to do what you like, provided it doesn't actually contradict previous work or isn't horribly overblown and self-serving. There’s a reason why we’re so fussy about who gets Permission, and if someone abuses it, we will say something, but generally speaking, don’t worry yourself.

====What sort of writing sample should I give when asking Permission?====
Whatever you think is the best example of your writing. Generally it’s a piece of fanfiction, but some people submit short stories about their potential agents, or entirely original work. We don’t suggest offering scripts or that sort, as there’s no narrative, flow, or pacing, and the formatting differs.

====I’m not clear on what, exactly [[Permission Giver]]s do around here. Are they in charge?====
No, this is a community, and nearly all decisions are made by all of us together, if indeed there’s ever a need for such things. The only power PGs have is to allow or deny newcomers permission to write their own missions.

That said, PGs are usually selected because they know the PPC well and are widely trusted. They tend to know what they’re talking about, so if they tell you that something is a bad idea, it usually is.

==== Where do I find a Permission Giver’s email?====
Permission requests are usually made on the Board, if only because not all PGs are always available and they’d rather not have their inboxes filled with requests. If there’s something you want to discuss with them in private, you can ask them for their address, but please don’t write to ask for their help in solving an issue you have with another person – that’s not their job.

====I’ve got a story ready, but I need a beta. You guys are obviously good at this kind of thing; will you help me?====
Probably. Put up a notice on the Board and see what responses you get. This community isn’t exactly a free beta-reading service; we do favours for each other, yes, but generally our lives are busy and we stick to writing missions because that's what we love best. So it's really up for grabs as to whether anyone around here has both the time and background knowledge to give you a hand.

====Someone is telling me my mission needs work. What gives? I thought I had Permission!====
You do, however, this is a community that criticises bad writing, so we have to be very careful not to become hypocrites.

Several Boarders admit to being hesitant to offer even [[concrit|constructive criticism]] to anyone but the newest of newbies, because there seems to be an underlying feel that Permission equalls a You Can Write Well diploma. It doesn’t, not always. Sometimes people get lazy, and if a someone’s work isn’t quite up to scratch, we try to tactfully tell them as much. However, a lot of people are reluctant, because they don’t want to appear condescending or rude to their peers. This is a Problem, and it can only be solved by all members assuring each other that they are willing to listen to each other, just as we want badfic authors to listen to us. Remeber, no one around here is trying to be mean. We just want to see good writing everywhere. That’s fair, right?

====Can I add a new page to the PPC wiki?====
Of course! We encourage everyone to edit and alter as much as they want. The only thing to keep in mind is that not everything is worth having its own article; link to other wikis if they’re more comprehensive. This place is for PPC stuff.

====I’ve found loads of badfics. I’m told there’s a place to list them…?====
Yes, the [[Unclaimed Badfic]] page.

====Can I claim a badfic if I don’t have Permission yet?====
Yes, just don’t get ahead of yourself and claim too many. Lots of us have extremely long waiting lists and many stories just don’t get done.

==== I’ve been warned off Legenday Badfic several times already, and I only just got here! It can’t really be that bad, can it?====
Yes, it can.

There’s a reason we constantly warn for it. Some people think it's funny to link newbies to these stories just to see the reaction. Others seem to consider getting through it some sort of test of character. I repeat: Don't. Really, don't. No one's going to laugh at you for not wanting to risk it - in fact, we'd applaud you for resisting the temptation.

====There’s a lot of crazy stuff around here. I don’t suppose there are any mad scientist types around HQ?====
Well, there is the [[Department Of Mary Sue Experiments and Research]]…

====Erm, a lot of the things the Flowers do seems… unethical. The safety regulations are terrible! Don’t our agents have rights?====
No.




If you have other questions regarding any aspect of the PPC, please either look up the relevant articles here, or ask on the Board. If there’s anything you think belongs in this FAQ/Guide that isn’t here, mention it when you ask on the Board; we’re certain to have missed something.

Okay, my friends, what did you think of that?

I mean that literally, and be as specific as you like. Tell me to cut out half the word count if you think it’s needed, all though some pointers on what can go and what can’t would be nice. Anything I’ve missed, same story, or anything that’s not detailed enough or too detailed or just not relevant – whatever. To any relatively-new-bies reading this, don’t be shy; this is meant for you, after all, so you’re the ones best qualified to tell me what’s missing.

Also, if the sheer size can’t be cut down, I think maybe it’d be best to divide this into two or three pieces? The FAQ itself isn’t very long, but that can have its own article, and then the Mission Writing Guide can maybe be separate from the general Guide To The PPC? The Mission Writing Guide is still the biggest part, though… I don’t know. Help?

Trojie has offered to define proceedures for Bad Slash, Bad Het, MPreg, Real People, and Angst as necessary, and any similar Question-and-Answer additions from those of you with specialties would be appreciated.

Eesh, I’m tired. I think I’ve been working on this for twelve hours straight now, and that’s not counting all the thread-reading I did yesterday, and the day before. It’s almost midnight here now, so I’m off to bed. I’ll come back and read your replies to this in a few days – I doubt my brain could take anything more right now.

In any case, hope you liked it.

====Okay, So You’ve Found A Badfic. Now What?====
Mission writing doesn’t have any set rules or formula, but it can also be daunting to just start, so here’s a rough outline that’s common to most missions:

# The agents are in their RC (or a Flower’s office, or a friend’s RC, or just somewhere in HQ), and attempting for what passes as “relaxation time”. We get a bit of character exposition or development before…
# BEEEEEEP! The console goes off: A mission awaits. One or both partners will read the [[Department of Intelligence|Intelligence report]] while the other gathers up the tools they will need. Depending on the content of the badfic and the particular peeves or [[Lust Objects]] of the agent, this may result in shock, outrage, panic, near-homocidal mania, or any combination of the above. Occassionally it results in laughter, but we don’t trust agents that happy. (cue the Shifty Eyes)
# Agents zap up a shiny [[portal]] and enter the fic. Agents are not required to start at the very beginning of the story if there’s nothing charge-worthy happening there. This is done at the writer’s discretion.
# Agents take note of any [[charges]] they observe and generally get very angry and/or disgusted at the scenes they are forced to witness. Some muffled grumbling about the Flowers is common. Any boring or particularly [[squick|squicky]] scenes can be skipped over with the use of a [[remote activator]], unless there are particularly important charges involved, in which case the agents must watch, as failure to include all major charges on the [[charge list]] can result in punishment missions for the agents (namely, brain-breakingly bad ones). If there is time and place, the agents may choose to eat or sleep in the fic, since they likely won’t have a chance in their RC.
# Once enough charges have been gathered, the agents take action. Exactly what they do is determined by the type of mission and the content of the fic – if there is a Sue, she must be killed; if there is excessive OOCness or bad slash, the canon characters must be exorcised; if it is a bad crossover, the elements of each [[Word World]] must be untangled. It is at this point that the charge list is read out to the accused (namely, the Sue or the Author wraith), and the wrongs set right. There may be danger in that posessed canon characters (or the OCs) may try to fight the agents – excessive use of PPC Technology is encouraged.
# Once the continuum has been restored and all uncanonical elements have been removed, the agents return to their RC, possibly feeling satisfied, worn out, or in need of a shower. Many missions will end with another console BEEP! or a message from a Flower (if either the agents have broken one or more rules or are about to be reassigned).

Some things to remember:
* Missions are usually written in third-person past tense, often in omniscient third-person because it’s more fun to point things out that way, but sometimes limited form works, too. There is no real reason that missions cannot be written in first person.
* While in the badfic, agents usually wear [[Disguise generator|disguises]] that can temporarily transform them into any species, or gender, so as to better blend in with background characters. If the mission is an assassination, agents generally choose to look like something
that would plausibly murder a Sue (such as an orc for a LotR-elf sue).
* Agents are not normally at risk of being seen by canon characters regardless of whether or not they wear a disguise, because the Word World does its best to help its rescuers by shielding them from view. However, Mary original characters cannot be thus affected, and so it’s best for assassins to remain beneath the Sue’s notice. This also means that agents on Bad Slash missions, for example, frequently don’t bother with disguises.
* Not every charge must be noted down. Every major one, yes, and anything that is repetitive or annoys the agents, but minor mistakes can be skipped as long as there is enough evidence to convict the Sue or Author-wraith in the end. For this same reason, agents do not have to wait until the end of the ‘fic to charge if they have enough evidence that the canon has been “broken”.
* Similarly, not every charge the agents note down has to be mentioned in your mission narrative, but bear in mind that it can be startling to hear new charges announced when the Sue is about to be killed, while at the same time it can be very boring to hear them twice, especially if the charge lists are long. How you write your mission is up to you.
* Bit characters and other minor offences can be dealt with as they appear, as long as they’re not needed later in the story, so to save on the amount of work to be done at once when the mission is finishing up.
* Most uncanonical elements a badfic imposes on canon will disappear on their own once the “anchor” of the author’s influence – the wraith or the Sue, usually – has been vanquished. Agents do not need to go around confiscating every casually-mentioned earring or burning down random forests if they are minor enough.
* As the agents are always technically inside a world made of words, it is possible for them to read the text of the story while on their mission. Usually they do this done by letting one’s eyes drift out of focus while staring at a blank surface, often the sky. This allows agents to catch grammar and punctuation charges as well as skim the approaching in order to see if there’s anything worthwhile coming up.
* Various technologies exist to help agents see through walls and so on. The most commonly used of these is the [[neuralyser]], filched from the Men In Black continuum, which is used to erase the memories of any canon characters who witnessed the agents in action or would otherwise remember uncanonical events.
* [[Torture|Torturing]] Sues (or anyone) is forbidden. Yes, even if they really deserve it.
(More specifc questions are answereed below, in the FAQ, or on the wiki articles for each piece of technology.)

At the end of the day, Sues, bad slash and so on are always defeated by logic, canonical characterisation, and the laws of physics. In the words of [[Techno-Dann]], “The point of the PPC isn't to be mythic heroes ridding the world of badfic, or even knight-in-shining-armor types cleaning one 'verse at a time - The point is that the agents are borderline-nutcases doing an impossibly large job one teaspoon-full at a time, with half-broken equipment that never was enough for the job, and working in the most messed up corporate environment that has ever existed. And humor, ostensibly.”

Allow me to repeat: WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN. If you’re not having fun writing the mission, you’re doing something wrong. True, sometimes we PPC badfics so infuriating that sporking them is pure catharsis, but it still has to be funny. We are not on a mission to systematically spork every badfic we can find. And yes, okay, our agents don’t always have fun, but watching them be miserable in an overblown and comical fashion is funny for us. If your mission consists of nothing but an efficient, effective cleanup of the problem, it’s no fun. Remeber that this work is also supposed to be dangerous. If you involve little problems, people arguing, plans backfiring and equipment malfunctions, it’s fun again – as long as you don’t put in too many. Moderation is always the key.


If you still want to read some more examples before writing missions yourself, browse around to find agents in the department of your choice and follow their links to their missions, or if you feel like being random, go to the [[PPC Wiki|main page]] and take a look at the latest mission releases.

====Non-Missions Writings====
PPC writings are not limited to missions. Many, many other stories exist, including everything from lazy interludes to extensive histories. Though we recommend you write a few missions first, everyone is welcome to write a little something with their agents complaining to the tech department or going over to another RC for a birthday party. Several PPCers enjoy writing stories set ten years in the future, or in the [[Department of Internal Affairs]], or the [[Nursery]]. If you come to The Board often enough you’ll notice that we often have roleplaying threads just for the fun of it, and everyone is welcome to join in on those, whether they have Permission or not.

However, there are some things that, after having lived through them several times, we’d like to avoid seeing again:

====What Not To Write===
As discussed above, we don’t want to upset the status quo left by Jay and Acacia with their Original Series. We’re not interested in anyone doing or coming up with things that haven’t been done before; we like what we have.

We don’t to see any SuperPowered Agents walking around. This place is not about who can be the “coolest” agent, who has the best weapons, or who can handle the most disgusting badfic. This is not a competition. We don’t want dark, aggressive stories – we want humour, and rest assured that the community at large will respond quickly if things start getting out of hand.

We also don’t want to bring up religious issues if they can possibly be avoided. Generally, it’s considered bad taste for fanfic to be written for religious texts in the first place, as it’s one of the few things around here that can really, deeply hurt people. PPCing religous badfic, while well-intentioned, is often such a delicate, eggshell-walking process that we find it’s better to simply do something else instead.

And then there are Emergencies.

We have, in the past, had several [[Timeline of PPC Emergencies|crises]] that required urgent action from every available agent, resulting in massive multiplayer stories and lots of (fictional) deaths. Among others, there was the [[2003 Mary Sue Invasion]], the [[2006 Power Cut]] and subsequent [[Crashing Down]] events, the 2008 [[Macrovirus Epidemic]], which was immediately followed by the [[2008 Mary Sue Invasion]], the [2008 Ypur Invasion], and the [[2009 Gender Bender Crisis]].

And to be quite honest, we’ve had enough.

Emergencies are supposed to be just that – a serious, unexpected, and potentially dangerous situation requiring immediate action (so says the OED). When they crop up three or four times a year, they’re not special anymore. Missions are supposed to be normal life for an agent. Yes, yes, routine can get boring, but there’s a big difference between writing about the woes of being unable to get your broken console to stop BEEEEEEEPing and an epic saga which pulverises half of HQ.

I’m sorry to disappoint, but we’re not doing it again. Not for a very long time, at least, and then only with the ratification of the community as a whole – and as long as anyone who was a regular on The Board during 2009 is around, that’s very unlikely to happen. Several people have come up with good and interesting ideas for a wide-scale drama, but we have to put our foot down somewhere. No more Emergencies. It’s just a [[Bad Idea]].

=====How soundproof is an RC?=====
Interesting question. Console BEEP!s have certainly been audible from beyond the doors on at least one occasion, but loud music in one room bothering someone trying to sleep in another doesn’t tend to be much of an issue. HQ is weird. You could probably get away with anything, including having your agents soundproof the place if they wish, though the Laws of Narrative Comedy may choose to override that. Specifics like these are not often nailed down.

====What Kind Of Things Can I PPC?====
As we all know, there’s a lot of badfic out there; far, far more than can be dealt with. The up side of this is that we can all pick and choose our missions, although our agents have to deal with whatever we (or the Flowers, convenient scapegoats that they are) choose to throw at them. However, there are a few limits.

Basically, any original work published and accessible by the public, whether on film, in text, on radio, or whatever, is a published canon. Parodies also count, even though they work somewhat differently. No published canon can be PPCd – we protect the plot continuum, regardless of our own opinions of the story. Therefore, despite the fact that stories such as [[Twilight]] and the [[The Inheritance Cycle]] are reviled by many PPCers, we cannot send our agents into the canon stories, only the badfics written for them. Thankfully, no one has to take missions for a fandom they don’t like.

=====What about adaptations or expanded or alternate works someone other than the author made? They’re not “original” published works.=====
No, but they’re still published, and therefore can have a fanfiction following of their own. For instance, the recent film adaptations of Lord of the Rings made several major changes from the original book, enough so that a fanfic based on those versions (called the [[movieverse]] around here) would be noticeably different from one based on the [[bookverse]]. It’s still an established canon.

As a side note, the line between various versions of a canon is a question up for debate. For example, the musical Wicked was adapted from a book of the same name, which was in turn partly based on L Frank Baum’s original Oz book series and partly on the 1939 film adaptation starring Judy Garland. These four versions all have many major overlapping elements, but also many conflicting disctinctions. When PPCing a story with multiple possible verses, an agent must bear in mind that just because the badfic author didn’t use the version of canon they prefer does not constitute a charge. If it’s canonical somewhere, it’s allowed.

The same applies for alternate works such as Lost in Austen, a recent television series depicting a Modern Girl who lands in (and messes up) Pride & Prejudice – which is legally allowed, as Austen’s work is old enough to be out of copyright. As much as most PPCers hate this (and we do hate it; you can see our outraged reactions on [http://disc.yourwebapps.com/discussion.cgi?disc=241484;article=568;title=PPC%20Message%20Board;pagemark=50 this thread]), there’s nothing we can do about it.

=====Are we allowed to PPC original badfic? That’s not published.=====
Sorry, no. In that case, the badfic is the Plot Continuum.

=====What fandoms does the PPC cover? If you guys hate Twilight and Eragon so much, are we not allowed to PPC badfic for them?=====
The PPC covers any fandom that needs it. We have specific dicisions for Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter just because there’s so much of it that some agents specialise in that canon only, but there are many, many more fandoms being dealt with. On the other hand, there are some lucky fandoms out there that have virtually no badfic – but we won’t mention which, or the Ironic Over-Power might just go about changing that.

You are, of course, allowed to PPC for Twilight and the Inheritance Cycle if you want. We don’t want you to feel like you can’t, or that you’ll be looked down on for it. It is commonly said that many agents aren’t sent into such canons because they can’t be trusted not to kill the canon characters, but if your agents happen to like it, go ahead! Really, go ahead. We encourage it.

=====How many chapters should a fic have in order to be PPCd?=====
Length of a fic has nothing to do with its quality; if it’s bad, it’s bad, and that can be illustrated in five thousand words or in fifty. While we’re on the subject, you don’t have to make missions a particular length; we encourage you to make it long enough to be worthwhile and illustrate both your characters and the fic’s awfulness a bit, but a novel-length epic for every badfic isn’t much fun, either. Play it by ear and just write what feels necessary. (Also, see below for some related points.)

=====I confess, I once wrote a badfic. It’s really awful. Can I PPC that?=====
Yes. It’s been done before, and there are probably very few PPCers who don’t have at least one such skeleton in their closests, so don’t feel bad about it, either. That you can look back now and recognise your mistakes – with good humour, no less! – is laudible. This is also particularly fun thing to do if one of your agents is a direct avatar of yourself, and remembers having written the fic before being recruited.

=====Can I PPC AUs, given that they’re not meant to be the same as canon?=====
Yes. Bad writing is bad writing, and being an alternate universe doesn’t (automatically) excuse out-of-character behaviour.

=====What about oddly formatted stories, like first person or epistolary works?=====
Yes, they’re fine, though you may need (or want) to deal with the odd style within your mission.

For first- and second- person fics, the [[Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology]] has created a hand little device known as a [[crash dummy]], which acts as a stand-in for the author spirit, allowing agents to walk around as normal without having the authorial influence forced upon them. Written formats such as diaries can be dealt with in whatever way is most suitable for your mission; have the agents spend the entire time reading the text, if you want, but that’s a bit dull. Remember, the aim is to be entertainings, so if you can make a funny situation out of it, do so. If we don’t have a useful method for handling your particular badfic, make one up.

=====I’ve found a badfic that’s almost entirely made up of original characters, descendants of canon characters. Do I leave that alone?=====
It’s still a canon world, so you can charge for anything that breaks the laws of the canon. Good OCs exist, of course, and for your sake I hope these qualify, but if they claim to be descendants of a canon character who most definitely had no children, then it’s a charge, albeit not necessarily a big one. If it’s obviously a bad story, and you can name reasons why, then you can PPC it. If not, maybe you should leave it alone and find something worse to deal with.

=====The badfic I want to spork isn’t finished. What do I do?=====
There are a lot of unfinished fics around, some still being written, some abandoned. You can still PPC it. If the author writes more afterwards, you can PPC later chapters individually (Trojie and Pads did this several times with the [[Legendary Badfic]] [[Land Before Time: Littlefoot x Cera]]), or just ignore it – if it wouldn’t be funny to keep going, ignore it.

Just know that you cannot charge for something that hasn’t actually happened in a badfic, even if it’s obvious that it was going to.

=====What if the author took the badfic down before I finished my mission?=====
Then you have a choice; you can either scrap the mission, finish it anyway and post a note about how it’s been removed, or do what Jay and Acacia did in the Original Series and make a little drama about them having to rush out before they were deleted along with the fic.

As a matter of courtesy, if the author took down their work because they realised how bad it was, it’s generally considered poor form to spork it anyway.

=====Do I tell the badfic author that I’m PPCing their fic? Aren’t they supposed to take down the story or something?=====
NO.

For all the fun we have, we don’t actually police the fandom, and we cannot tell people what to do. Most of these badfics are sporked without the original author ever knowing about it, and generally, it’s better that they don’t. We don’t want to start a flame war, and why hurt their feelings if we don’t have to? Showing someone that their work has been mocked so thoroughly rarely results in a positive reaction. Some PPCers do choose to politely inform the badfic author, particularly if they know the person would have a laugh rather than burst into tears, but most don’t.

Also, you never tell an author to stop writing, or take down their stories; all we do is give them constructively critical feedback. We try to be nice people, see.

=====Wow, you’re picky. Anything else I shouldn’t pick for a PPC mission?====
Just that not every badfic is worth the time it takes to spork. Stop and ask yourself, what’s the point of sporking this fic? Yes, there are crimes against canon, but does that make it a story anyone will want to read?

Of course, going out and picking the most dramatically horrible fics you can find might not be good for your agent’s sanity, either. Or your own. And too many terrible fics can become monotonous after a while.

(Yes, I suppose this is getting rather picky, but at the end of the day, it’s still your choice, and we’re just giving advice.)


For a list of perfectly sporkable works, check out the [[Unclaimed Badfic]] page.

Guide To The PPC & FAQ: For Newbies

This article was proposed by [[Neshomeh]] and largely written by [[Sedri]], with a great deal of input from [[Trojie]] and [[Boarders|The Board]] as a whole.

If you have a lot of general questions, please read the Guide first, as it’s meant to explain as much as possible directly. This FAQ is more of a jumble of miscellaneous questions that fit nowhere else.

==Guide To The PPC==
So! You’re a newbie. Welcome, welcome, welcome. This FAQ has been written for the sole purpose of answering as many questions as possible, since we Not-So-Newbies generally forget how many things you Shiny New Newbies might not know about who we are and how we do things.

Please be aware that not everything can be answered here. Make sure you also read [[FAQ: The Board]] and take a look at the [[List of Everything PPC]], which will help you find the Mini adoption lists, standard charge lists for various ‘verses, the Complete List of PPC Fiction (though sadly, it’s actually far from complete), lists of technologies and [[Response Centre]]s, Official Fanfiction Universities, and a lot of other things. Also, this wiki is itself very helpful; if you’re not sure about something, start by running a search.

This Guide & FAQ is here to deal with all the questions that the above resources don’t.

So! Let us start at the beginning.

===The Original Series===
It is expected that if you’ve come this far, you will have read [[Jay]] and [[Acacia]]’s [[Original Series]]. If you haven’t, go and do that now, then come back. Besides being a great deal of fun, those initial missions explain a lot of our quirks, and set the tone for the PPC in general. That series is the only required reading around here.


… Read it? Fun, no? Good. Moving on.

===Expanded History===
In the years since Jay and Acacia first created this world and gave [[Permission]] for other people to write stories, there has, of course, been a lot of extra material created, and since life would be very boring without some variety, that means there are a lot of bits and pieces – some bigger than others – which are commonly used in today’s PPC stories that were never mentioned in The Original Series. First, let us stress that you do not have to read it all, though if you want to, you’re welcome to try. You can find most of the major events by looking up [[Events]], [[PPC History]], and [[PPC Emergencies]], and individual missions can usually be found linked to the profile page of individual agents, or at the [[List of Everything PPC]].

Several later PPC stories, such as [[Huinesoron]]’s [[Crashing Down]] and other works which outline the Multiverse History, are largely accepted by the community and often referred to, but no one has to follow them. As an example, the death of [[Makes-Things]] during a roleplay is widely disliked, and several PPCers are currently entertaining ideas of how to resurrect him, or to show that his death was faked. Others ignore the issue completely and declare that he is still alive, while some simply side-step the issue by never writing anything about it one way or another. It’s a personal choice. In short, anything but The Original Series can be treated the way fanon is for normal fanfiction.

Also, it has since been agreed that decisions of this sort must be discussed by the community as a whole (on [[the Board]]) before being written. Generally, we don’t like upsetting the status quo Jay and Acacia set, so, if anyone asks to kill off Luxury or invent some new technology that will make [[CAD]]s redundant, the answer will almost certainly be “no”.

On that note, any changes to the structure of the PPC must also be discussed on the Board first. This means that one cannot arbitrarily invent a new Flower or Department or anything of that sort, because that would ruin the fun for everyone else. Please remember that this is a shared universe, and we aim for harmony within the community. Please see the Emergencies section below.

In contrast, there are some small elements of The Original Series that are no longer widely used, such as the title of “constable” being given to agents of the [[Department of Mary Sues]]. These are generally aspects that Jay and Acacia faded out themselves, but there is often no real reason not to continue using them anyway.

===Spirit of the PPC===
Since there seems to be no better place for it, we’re going to take a moment to talk about the spirit in which the PPC has always been intended. This is actually important.

Put as simply as possible, the PPC is aboug having fun.

This means that the primary focus of our stories and interactions is comedy, and that we don’t like rainy day people very much. Anyone taking things Too Seriously or who doesn’t enjoy our particular brand of silliness probably won’t have fun here. This is all done for the laughs; we’re not going to change that. We love the PPC just the way it is – with no logic, sanity, and above all, reality. After all, we have miniature firey deamons pop into existence every time a random author misspells a name – this place couldn’t touch realisim with a ten mile pole.

We are also here because despise bad writing, but let us make it clear that this definition has to be applied more or less objectively – it is not a matter of taste. There is no such thing as a bad genre, or trope, and even some of the story elements which almost always result in badfic are not necessarily bad themselves. In the words of [[Trojie]]: “I have actually run across a GOOD, FUNNY, Real Person Slash Mpreg fic. Admittedly it was crackier than a crack sandwhich with a side order of crack, but it was well written, funny real person slash Mpreg.”

We’re here to support goodfic, and goodfic includes all sorts. If you don’t like a particular genre, that’s fine – you don’t have to read it, let alone PPC it (and we suggest that no one PPC their personal squicks anyway) – but no bashing of other people’s likes and dislikes. Allow me to direct you to the [[PPC Board Constitution|Constitution]] which, though written for The Board rather than the PPC in general, should give you quite a good idea of what sort of tone and style we’re after.

(Please also see the What Not To Write section below.)

===Writing A Mission===
So let’s say you’ve hung around for a month, gotten to know the Board regulars and read a good amount of existing missions. Now, of course, you want to write one yourself.

How?

First of all, [[Permission|get Permission]]. Everything you need to know is in that article. Read that and then come back, and we will walk you through some of the details.

Please be aware that writing missions is not as easy as it looks. Many people have joined the PPC, waited a month, written a mission or two and then faded out. Some keep hanging around to chat on the Board, always meaning to write and never do, or simply vanish entirely. Remeber that writing a mission, like any other story, takes quite a bit of time and effort. Of all our members over the past years, only three have met and passed the twenty-five-mission mark set by The Original Series ([[IndeMaat]], [[Trojie]] and [[Paddlebrains]], though the latter pair usually work together). The average number of missions per writer is more like four, or maybe five.

Now, we’re not going to scold anyone for this – most of us are guilty of it ourselves – but we want to make sure you know in advance.

That said, now it’s time for the fun bit.

====Creating Your Own Agents====
A brief character summary is required for your Permission request, but it is always good to flesh out your new characters before you as for the [[Permission Giver]]s’ approval. After all, you will (hopefully) be working with them for a very long time.

=====How many agents can I have? Do I have to have a pair?=====
No, you can have as many or as few as you like. Some PPCers create different agents to work in various [[departments]], such as [[Bad Slash]] or the [[DMS]], while others keep the same agent for every mission they do, and therefore put said agents in the [[Deparment of Floaters]]. You could write solo missions, one pair, two pairs, or co-write a mission with another Boarder, each using one or more of your own agents.

However, there are several reasons why two is the preferred number, at least for writing on your own. For one thing, it’s very hard to keep writing distinct, original characterisations when you have lots of original characters – that also makes it hard for anyone reading your missions to keep track of who is who, and keep their backstories straight. On the other hand, writing an entire mission with only one agent can be boring as well as hard. Pairs of agents are very often polar opposites that drive each other crazy (we usually blame [[the Flowers]] for this), and a one-man show, even a very snarky and witty [[MST]] of the badfic, is rarely as much fun as a banter, good-natured or no. Having dialogue between your characters also makes exposition much easier.

=====I’ve noticed a lot of Boarders go by the same name as one of their agents. Are they meant to be the same person? Can I do that?=====
If you like, sure. Most of us have one agent who is essentially a caricature of ourselves, and often the backstory of those agents is that they were recruited from the [[Real World]], so as to make the entire thing plausible. Don’t make the mistake of equating Agent with Boarder, though; we like to have fun with our alternate selves, and tend to exaggerate or change them over time. Some, like Agent [[Trojanhorse]], have been warped almost beyond recognition.

=====Can I give my agent a special race / talent / power / weapon?=====
Strictly speaking, yes, but be careful. As said in the Permission article, we do not want them to become [[Sues]] or Stus.

Pleanty of PPC agents have powers, talents, or belong to a magical race because they were recruited from badfics. This can make mission writing a lot of fun, however, the risk is that if you give your agent too many powers, it makes it too easy for them to do their jobs. Half the humour involved here is the challenge of completing a mission without being caught by posessed canon characters, and if we all could just walk in, snap our fingers to kill the Sue / [[exorcise]] the [[Author-wraith]] / untangle the [[crossover]], it wouldn’t be any fun at all.

Also, the Flowers tend not to like having underlings with any sort of power.

This doesn’t mean that powers are necessarily bad. [[The Force|Force]]-users from Star Wars, for instance, are perfectly canonical, and being a [Jedi] does not automatically mean the agent is boring – [[Rilwen Shadowflame]], for instance, uses the Force as a weapon, but her missions are still a challenge, and fun to read.

As for weapons, the same principles apply. Almost all agents use some sort of weapon, be it a knife, gun, bow, wand, or fist. Some of the more interesting choices include a sledgehammer, lightsabers, an eight-pound bell (for exorcisms, but a useful blunt object), and an ice pick.

You’ll note, however, that none of these tools will win the day without a great deal of skill on the part of the wielder. Agents do not use big explosives, uncanonical spells or technology, mind control, or any faintly god-like powers. If your agent is a Time Lord out of Doctor Who or a Q out of Star Trek, their powers will have to watered down immensely, or removed all together (bear in mind than an ex-Q raging about how they’d be able to get this done if only they still had their old powers could be incredibly funny).

Last, mind that your agent’s personality doesn’t get too uppity. No one should be nonchalent on this job; half the time we write missions it’s because the badfic makes us angry, and the writing is cathartic as well as funny. If, for example, your agent is entirely unphased by even the worst badfic, they’re no fun to read, and you’ll probably be asked to change it before getting Permission.

Of course, any of these ideas can be done well, but it takes practice. If you’re heart-set on your agent having a particular trait, why not start out by writing a fairly normal character (insofar as any agent can be normal), and then after a few missions, actively show them changing or toss them and write a new one? No one’s stopping you. All they need to have is fully developed personalities.

Again, see the section on What Not To Write below.

=====The oldbie who read my agent profiles said they’re too flat. What gives? I thought you didn’t want super-special agents?=====
We don’t, but there’s such a thing as going too far in the other direction. Your agents still have to carry the story, and for that they have to be interesting. Not shocking, just interesting. Every person has a past, experiences which have shaped them – unless, of course, they are recruited bit characters, in which case their entire history is dictated by the story they came from (an example, if I may, is Agent [[Iza]], whose lack of properly-written background means she is in the process of discovering her own personality, a quirk which in itself leads to a lot of humour).

Some questions to ask yourself are: Where do they come from? If they are a reformed badfic writer, what sort of fics did they used to write and how did they come to realise it was horrible? How did they get to the PPC from [[World One]]? If they are recruited from fics, what kind of fic did they come from? What fandom? What aspects of PPC life (or that of other fandoms they may work in) would strike them as absurd, or what (wrong) assumptions would they make? What lingering effects do they struggle with from being ‘born’ in a bad fic? In short, what are their main characteristics or quirks?

=====Can I say my agent went to an [[OFU]] even if I didn’t officially register them when the fic was being written? =====
Yes. For that matter, if you want your agent to come from a badfic, you can make it up – you don’t have to search around the badfic archives to find someone you can directly snitch.

=====I got Permisison a while ago to write an agent for the DMS, but now Bad Slash looks more interesting. Can I change my assignment?=====
Of course. Many agents bounce around at will if they find they can’t take a particular style any longer, or if the Flowers reassign them (or they just go Freelance, or to the Department of Floaters). You don’t need Permission to do this, or even mention it to the community; they’re your agents, and you have free reign.

=====Are their rules for numbering [[RC]]s?=====
Yes. Letters are reserved for Jay and Acacia, but you can have letters in the RC number, as long as it’s not the first character. You can use decimals, single digits, or multiple digits, as long as it’s not already taken. The full list can be seen [http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/21812.html here], and to request a number of your own you must either comment there or ask on the Board.

=====How can I decorate my RC? What about the front door?=====
There are absolutely no rules, besides pragmatic ones, and even they tend to be weak when one points out that HQ is notoriously wonky. Every RC must have a console, and they generally have bathrooms, but everything else is up to the agents. Some are tiny and cramped while others seem to be suites with multiple bedrooms (probably attained through extensive use of plotholes, or just knocking out interior walls). Some agents keep only their mission tools, canon sources, and a few spare clothes, while others acknowledge that they’re going to spend the rest of their natural lives there and hoard things, including furniture, accordingly.

Just remember that the Ironic Over-Power tends to make consoles BEEP! at the very moment an agent starts to get comfortable

As for the front door, many are plain, but others have plaques or nameplates indicating who lives inside, or at least the room number. Nothing forbids an agent from adding to that with posters or whatever else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHATEVER!!!

96 down, OVER NINE THOUSAND!!! to go.

But then, I use this stuff to procrastinate, so I go for the complicated. I used www.freewebs.com to make it. Warning: they only let you have 20 pages for free. Sounds like a lot, but I hit it quickly enough and had to revamp my idea. Then again, I was planning to also use it to host my other fanfic. Guess it'll just have to keep living on where it is, then.

--anamia

Livejournal, InsaneJournal, , a Google Docs, any magical website you have yourself, and DeviantArt can work, beyond others.

I would like to donate some money, but I'm not sure where to go. But yes, I really do want to help.

And I seriously hate those selfish pricks saying bad things about Haiti because of the culture or something stupid like that.

People like that really tick me off (but then, so do a lot of things, seeing as I have some anger issues).

Besides donating yourself, people should be aware that Haiti is currently struggling under crippling international debt. It's a horrible situation made worse by a number of factors, not least the fact that they've got a horrible and corrupt government to begin with-- this compounds it.

Not to plug, but ONE is circulating a petition to ask a number of different international entities to drop Haiti's debt, here. They're not asking for money, only signatures.

(If anybody else has organisations to plug, or the like, I'd love to see. I feel like interest in aid over the Western world has dropped drastically after the initial shock.)

My dad spent some time in Haiti a few years back. He doesn't talk about it much, but when he does it's hard to hear. It really is an awful situation to begin with, let alone after being hit by an earthquake of that magnitude. Jeeze.

Also: it's okay to post about stuff like this sometimes, if it's especially momentous or relevant. We like a good serious discussion every once in a while (if a discussion happens). {= )

~Neshomeh

I thought he was dead

I recognize that bringing up that rotten sack of meat may not be very charismatic of me.

As for Haiti, I would honestly donate money if I had it, and I plan on doing so when I do get my hands on some.

Try to keep from posting two different topics in a row. Don't worry about it just once, everybody's done it in the past, but in the future try and keep from creating that many new topics, if they're not strictly necessary. Every new topic pushes an old one off the bottom of the page. Thanks!

Sir or Ma'am, it's recommended to post multiple found badfics in a single thread, rather than making a new thread per badfic. Can also be useful to add it here

This is the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology. Makes-Things, while the most prominently featured member of this department (and for a long time the only member), was by his (disputed) death in 2008 not the sole Technician. He wasn't even the Head of the department; that title belongs to Hornbeam the Ironwood Tree.

DoSAT is by now a fairly large place, with a sizeable number of Technicians. Techno-Dann is officially the head Technician, but anyone in there will do to get your tech fixed.

I believe you take things to DoSAT, the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology. Believe it or not, M-T was not the only person working there, just the most prominently featured and the one most people think of.

I assure you I'll help with the upkeep on them now that they're there.

... Did I ever mention that I went ahead and made a History page back when it was suggested? It's under the name History of the PPC, Part One, which I explain in the article introduction. It's also a reference to Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part One.

Anyway, anyone should feel free to add stuff to that, especially since I can't devote the time to fleshing it out myself. The descriptions of each event should be very brief, only one or two sentences. The idea is just that everything is in order and, eventually, properly sourced so that people can get to the content in question with a minimum of trouble.

I hope that makes sense.

~Neshomeh

Nice work. They answer about all questions a newbie could come up with, I guess.
One more thing maybe: Is registration at the wiki necessary to add things to the articles ore create new ones?
That could come up when newbies have received Permission and want to upload their Agents biographies and later link missions.

LJ, your own website or ffn. I'd recommend the first two over the last, since you're rather likely to get deleted and/or ranted about on ffr if you post an essay to ffn.

Basically, you should archive your Sue essays wherever you're thinking of archiving any missions you write.

A quick google search of a few of the lines of this poem suggests that this is apparently a quote from Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

Yeah, it does. I like this, it really does go with the PPC.

...does it need a set tune? Maybe it'd be like the Hogwarts school song. Every Agent and every Department is so different, maybe everyone just gives it the tune they like and sings it how it feels best to them.

That's beautiful. And I think it fits the PPC incredibly well.
The idea with the anthem is a good one, too. But what kind of music fits this?

Wow... that is quite, quite good.

Makes me wish I had the Flash or music skills to set it to music myself.

Just goes to show that not all "great poetry" has to be complicated and wrapped in layers and layers of hidden meanings. I think that's great poetry. I just wish I could tell whoever wrote it.

~Neshomeh

That's wonderful. Someone should set it to music and make it the official PPC anthem. -grins-

--anamia

I have copy&pasted the chapter to read when I'm back at home. Hopefully I'll be able to comment on it later. {= )

~Neshomeh

Great to see an update!

I love your sciency instruments! And I'm so glad this isn't dead. Fantastic update!

Excellent as always, thank you.

As for Fender... I'm not sure there's anything left, but I look forward to seeing what your Muses offer you. Cheers!

This will give an excuse to reread 'In Keeping.' -grins-

Question: are you taking applications, or are you swamped?

--anamia

So glad to hear it's not.

of a fandom that has no badfic.

You looking for bad slash/het, nasty Mary Sues, specifically illogical crossovers, or just something remarkably, remarkably bad?

There's a meh Highlander/B5 crossover, mostly due to confusing SPAG, but it might not be worth sporking -- I'm not familiar with the Highlander universe at all, so I dunno if they count as Marty Stus or not. Same, to a lesser extent goes for a transformers/B5 crossover.

I've only glanced over it, but Three Sides of Life has a pretty major black hole Sue in the middle. Despite that and the ugly formatting, might not be bad enough, and isn't a crossover.

Most of the crossovers long enough to justify sporking aren't really bad, even if they've got Mary Sues and OOCness like the Star Wars/B5 "Coming of the Empire".

I expect it depends on how it's treated. Jay and Acacia ended up taking out one or two Mary Sues that were planning to die (permanently) of their own accord. The Mary Sue prototype specifically parodied in the A Trekkie's Tale did, too. So it can certainly be done badly enough to be a Mary Sue trait on its own.

It's not always such. A character like Riala Goldentail, from Vengeance Quest, is pretty much defined by her drive to achieve one specific goal, and her willingness to drop everything to achieve that goal. If she abandoned her post and got killed as a result, it'd be stupid, but it'd be stupid that fit exactly within her character and goals. And even if the story ended on that note, readers would expect her actions there to be criticized just as other mistakes she made were.

On the other hand, it's far more common for a Sue to end up with the entire cast pining over her for eternity and some opportunity for wangst.

is that, according to The Original Series, that means her 'legacy' will live on and continue to affect the canon, which means that she has to be killed before the death that she plans.

As for 'normal' Sues, there are many different types, and this one sounds just as Sueish as most others. Go ahead and kill her.

I like this. Good idea, but it might not be used very much.

Nice idea!

...granted. Conditionally.

Go ahead and write your mission, but I'd like you to send it to me for final approval before you post. I'm going to try to find another oldbie who knows the fandom to help me out with specifics before then. Just remember to watch those typos, don't to write in numerals, and have it thoroughly beta-read by someone reliable.

Also, since I didn't mention it last time - the fic you want to kill looks disgusting, but I'm guessing that you won't have to wait long before being able to charge, so it should be pretty easy for your agents to deal with (as well as give more time in HQ for us to get to know them). Make sure to rate it appropriately - I had no idea of how graphic it would be when I took a look (though thankfully, I'm not at work).

When you've got your mission ready and betaed, send it to me at fanwritersedri@gmail.com, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

I've sent you a few PMs through The Pit's private messaging system in regards to some stylistic and proofreading matters regarding your work The Darkest Ocean.

In addition to Sedri's recommendations, universes are typically written as proper nouns within the few places they are described uniquely. World One is such a unique description, and it looks better if it's capitalized anyway. The Star Wars continuum's droids usually have a designator with a hyphen in the middle, and that would be important to make sure ends up in his name every time unless you never use it, or the name is in dialog.

I assume HK-50 is pretty much going to be KotOR's HK-47, sociopathy and extremely efficient violence wrapped in a nice hard case. There's a lot you can do with that, although I'd warn that simply shooting something in the knees from from 120 kilometers with a sniper rifle and a trilight scope might not be imaginative even if it does get the job done. On the other hand, people who want to just shoot em but have to kill in less efficient ways can add to the entertainment.

Is Orang(e)Dream's characterization going to be about overconfidence, or is that just one attribute in one situation that's going to come up?

...a few things. Firstly, your agents look pretty good - I like that OD claims to be immune to squick and isn't, which will make for some funny incidents, and I like that your droid agent will move stiffly when disguided as a non-mechanical race - those are good details to play upon. Not knowing what kind of droid an HK is (my first thought was the Hunter-Killers out of Terminator, but they don't seem to have any sentience I know of), I can't comment much there, but as long as his A.I. is sufficiently 'human' enough, that shouldn't be a problem.

My biggest concern is your writing technicalities. You've used numerals instead of words several times, both here and in your fic ("nearly 12 words", "world 1", "crew of 11"), and there are small glitches which jump out at me as I read (for instance, "He knew that no matter what he did, whether he destroyed four enemy fighters or was unceremoniously shot down himself, that the Marines would arrest the pirates." - the second "that" is superfluous), but those are fairly rare. What bothers me is that it looks like you've spelled your own agent's name wrong - is he meant to be "OrangDream" or "OrangeDream"?

Not knowing the fandom of the fic you want to kill, I can make no comment there, so I'm afraid you'll have to wait for a read Permission Giver's feedback for that. Overall, I think you'll do fine, as long as you watch your use of numerals and keep an eye on the balance of your agents.

I'm afraid I am lacking home internet at the moment, or I would have greeted you sooner! Welcome back. {= D

~Neshomeh

It's nice to meet you. :)

*glomps*

Araeph, DTE head and former PPC infidel at your service!

The PPC has done quite well for itself in the intervening 2-3 years. Even I'm surprised at its tenacity.

Good to see you here!

It's nice to have other oldbies coming back!

Tamora Pierce still remains one of my favorite authors to this day; she just keeps getting better. Have you read the Trickster duology? I was really impressed by the way she bent in politics with action in those two.

-MB

I'm a new lurker, haven't got permission yet, but welcome back! Have a paperclip!

I'm Sara, pleased ta meetcha! And here, have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots, too. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome back to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Have a softnose laser. Useful for any future Mary Sue missions your agents may take, should you continue to write them.

Oh, I'm Piph. I joined in October. Nice to meet you!

First poke, if anyone's not done that! (Do we give return-pokes?) I remember you, albeit a bit vaguely.

And welcome you with utter warmth, and not just because it's one more oldbie who hasn't written a mission yet!

Welcome back!

You probably don't know me, but still, I wish you a happy time at the Board.

Have a Tetsusaiga replica!

Here's a Glitter-proof shield from the Raven Armory! (It can't be Sueified and is useful when you need to block out the sight of a Sue. Don't ask how I got it to be that way.)
You like Circle of Magic? I do, too, even though I mainly stick to Tortall.

I just joined last October. Nice to meet you! Have a venomous arthropod.

Nie to meetcha. I present you with a welcome-back gift of a bag of pebbles (useful for throwing at annoying things such as Sues) and a Random Shiny Object (useful for dstracting things with).

I joined early last year.

'Ello. You won't know me, as I'm a legitimate newbie, but I met you briefly in the chatroom this afternoon.

-offers sparkly rock- Welcome back!

--anamia

You won't know me, since I joined in late 2007, but so what? It's always good to see someone return and regale us with tales of years past... or just hang around and laugh. ;)

My gift to you is a Capillary Towel (new invention, very useful on bloody assassination missions) and a dog.

Nice to mee you!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Animorphs and the Little Mermaid. The story should use bondage as a plot device!

Why it could work:

- Time travel is canonical in the Animorphs universe (the Time Matrix), so the fact that Ariel lives in the past could be dealt with in a reasonable way.

- Ariel is a mermaid who changes into a human. The Animorphs are teenagers who change into animals (including fish) on a regular basis. They could have some interesting, thoughtful conversations about this.

- If we use the word "bondage" in its classical sense (i.e. slavery, restriction), it would definitely work as a crossover theme. Ariel spends all of her life hampered by her fin, wanting to be part of the human world and away from her father's restrictions. Even better, the Animorphs are fighting to save earth from parasitic aliens who enslave people!

Yep, this could be a decent fic. Weird!

~Araeph

Nothing long or elaborate--short and hilarious would be favorite. Kinda along the lines of Fill the Plothole.

~Neshomeh

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Star Fox and the Partridge Family. The story should use getting sucked into the "real world" as a plot device!"

Well, ain't that crackaliscious?

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Fruits Basket and Oregon Trail. The story should use starting a band as a plot device!"

The band has died of dysentery?

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Guitar Hero and the Lion King. The story should use rape as a plot device!


....

wth?

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Gordon Ramsay and My Little Pony. The story should use a journey to outer space as a plot device!

Perhaps the pony is the main course?

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Final Fantasy 6 and Beauty & the Beast. The story should use starting a band as a plot device!

I love these generators.

My challenge, apparently, is "to write crossover fanfiction combining Elite Beat Agents and Gilligan's Island. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!"

I doubt I shall accept this challenge. I can't decide whether to interpret "interent" as "internet" or "inherent", and I'm not familiar with either canon offered. Gilligan's Island, at least, I've heard a little about, but I don't know the other at all.

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Mega Man and Chronicles of Narnia. The story should use anorexia as a plot device!

____

Ooh, anorexia! Tell me more. :P

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining 1984 and America's Funniest Home Videos. The story should use aliens as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean. The story should use legalizing gay marriage as a plot device!

Now that I would like to see! Can anyone manage this?

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Salute Your Shorts and Godzilla. The story should use creepy interent fetishes as a plot device!"

Gods, I actually remember "Salute Your Shorts" - that was so long ago, I hardly expected to find it here.

Took a LOT of refreshing to finally find one with two fandoms that I know, though:

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Aladdin and Xmen. The story should use aliens as a plot device!"

Hrm.

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Chronicles of Narnia and The Odyssey. The story should use an ancient prophecy as a plot device!"

Now that might actually work! It's not a terrible idea at all, in the end. Not good, but not terrible...

Not writing it, though.

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Hamtaro and Harry Potter. The story should use incest as a plot device!"

That generator so went there. *suddenly remembers the Laura/Hamtaro and Wealsey men/Ginny badfics* *hides in a corner*

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Rock Band and Avatar: The Last Airbender. The story should use mystical creatures as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Spaceballs and Parappa the Rapper. The story should use starting a band as a plot device!

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Tenchi Muyo and Chowder. The story should use furries as a plot device!

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining the Partridge Family and Mystery Science Theater 3000. The story should use unclogging a toilet as a plot device!"

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Rocky Horror Picture Show and Flapjack. The story should use someone opening a gate to Hell as a plot device!"

*winces* Where did you find this insane thing? (I can see what you mean by the mental images. In an absurd way, I think these two things would make sense, crackfic-wise.)

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Chapelle's Show and Twilight. The story should use good characters becoming evil as a plot device!

I, for one, would pay to see the Cullens guest-spot on Chapelle's Show.

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Zorro and Guitar Hero. The story should use Columbus Day as a plot device!"

"Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Cardcaptor Sakura and Stargate SG1. The story should use a haunted house as a plot device!"

The sad thing is that I can see these actually working out, although the former option would be a tad on the crackfic side.

For starters, your agents look pretty good - not too ambitious, they err on the flat side, but not by much, and your actual written missions should flesh them out. That you've given them very similar (angry) personalities could be difficult, as you don't want your missions to turn into shouting matches, but that's a matter of how you handle them, which I cannot predict.

On the other hand, I'm a little wary of the fact that you're going after a scripted fic, as narrative forms are much easier to PPC, and there's no need to make your first mission too hard. Also, is it impossible to find the original text, rather than a sporked version? If so, I would strongly recommend finding another badfic to work on; it's not like there's a shortage.

As for your writing sample, I can say little about the content or characterisation given that I don't know the canon, but you have numerous errors and stylistic issues that worry me. One appears as early as the second sentence - a missing word ("they began to fight who owned the light." - it should be "began to fight over", unless you mean they began to fight whoever owned it, but that doesn't seem to be the case). You haven't got too many typos, but those that are there ("yalter top, a whitye") are strikingly bad, and should have been picked up by a spell-checker. You're lacking commas in many necessary places and don't appear to have a good grasp on the use of semicolons. Also, the extensive clothing descriptions bother me - they remind me of a Suefic at times - but if that's a characterisitc of the canon, then of course it's not relevent.

My biggest problem with your request is that we haven't seen very much of you on the Board. In the six weeks you've been here, you've greeted newer newbies and made a few comments, most of which were very short. Your "re: Haiti" post particularly troubles me, given that two of your three sentences are just raw condemnations - "bitchy", to use the phrase. Anger issues or not, this is really not the sort of thing we want to see from other members, especially if it's all we see.

So I'm sorry, but not this time. Permission refused. Please try again in another month, and until then, I encourage you to join in some more in-depth discussions around here - start some yourself, maybe, and ask questions. Also, please take to heart the issues I've raised above, and don't just copy-paste this Permission request into your new post in February; I'd like to see some indication that you've thought about it.

And last, don't take this as a blow to your self-esteem. You're not the first person to be refused Permission, nor the last, and there's no shame in it.

Is this an official Permission request, or a prelude to a request? It sounds like the latter, so let me direct you to the Permission article and the relevant FAQ questions so you can refresh your knowledge there.

In short, pick any example of your writing which you think shows off your abilities best. Write something new, if you like.

You do need to know the fandoms relatively well, but no one expects you to have memorised Aragorn's family tree or the computer terminology of Star Trek. You are expected to look up anything you're unsure of.

Also, when you make your official request, include links as well as your agent bios and writing sample.

Whoops, that last part should be:

Also, I do have to know the fandoms back-to-front? Especially since small details tend to slip past me...

Could even be that I asked it, as around the time I had a bit of an ax to grind with someone who wrote PotC badfic that was half in Dutch and half in English.

Answer then was: yes, you can write in another language, but probably hardly anyone else on the Board will be able to read it.

So, that would be yes to both your opening questions. I think it would be easier if at least one of your agents is bilingual themselves. It is comparable to the fact agents rarely get thrown into fandoms of which they do not know the canon. Usually at least one of the agents knows the canon, so it would make sense if also one of the agents knew the language of the badfic. (Or the language the badfic pretends to be written in).

I would imagine it to be very difficult PPCing a fic that is not in English but having the mission report in English. There are some things that can't be translated very well. And how can one translate funny mistakes in a fic not in English to funny mistakes in English? That would be a challenge to say the least.

Questions of this sort are always good for the FAQ, but of course we'll answer here first :)

You seem to be asking two questions, so let me take them one at a time - easiest first.

Yes, I think you would be just fine writing a mission in a language other than English - assuming, of course, that you speak that language fluently. If both your narrative, the dialogue of your agents, and the fic you are PPCing are all in that same language, whatever it is, then you should be able to treat it exactly like any other mission.

The problem with that is that you're going to have a very, very small audience. This means it will be almost impossible to have a proper beta-reader and you will be writing more or less for yourself. I'd say that you shouldn't do this for your Permission request, or for your first mission or two afterwards - the PGs will want to understand what they're looking at. Once you're established, though, go ahead.

As for PPCing non-English fics in an English-narrative mission... doable, but extremely hard. PPC technology includes Universal Translators, so I imagine the agents would manage, but it would be difficult, and the Flowers would almost certainly assign a fic in any given language to agents who speak that language. You could still write such a mission in English, however, the bulk of mistakes and therefore manifestations depend on an intimate knowledge of the language nuances. You would have to explain every mistake to your English-only audience (in which case it would be best to have one agent who speaks it and one who doesn't, so their dialogue can be exposition).

So yes, it's possible, and I would certainly encourage it - I don't think this has ever happened before and I'm delighted by the prospet! - but you'd have to be very, very careful about how you do it.

Also, I refuse to be the final word on this; there may be something I don't know or haven't considered. We need the opinion of at least one more Respected Oldbie. After that we'll finalise the answer and put it up on the FAQ. Until then, Anamia, consider this an unfinished answer, mmkay?

Yes, the HQ does indead have universal translators, unless they have a TARDIS to do the translations for them.

As for writting in other languages itself, I have no problem with it. But please make sure that your writting in that language is up to snuff. It isn't ironic to write in a language where in turn you should be PPC'd for it.

Bablel Fish is not a reliable translator. (ie. "Star War III: The Backstrok of the west" http://antibody-software.com/web/fun/fun/star-wars-iii-:-the-backstroke-of-the-west/) Not Safe for Work!

Leto

But while I do think you'd do a good job as a PG, you were only nominated to be one, not actually chosen, and I at least would feel more comfortable with this if at least two of the other PGs sanctioned/agreed/put forth the motion to the people who've been around longer than a month for a vote or whatever, especially between the fact that you don't specially want the duties and 'honors' that go with it, and that, again, it was only a nomination that was seconded instead of anything that was put forth for voting (despite Dann seconding it).

I don't feel right giving final Permission for missions in a continuum that I don't know. If anyone who can be considered an oldbie would be willing to double-check orangedream13's first mission for me, I'd be much obliged. (And I'll need your email, if I don't already have it. I'm fanwritersedri@gmail.com)

For multiple reasons, of course. You'll do great, Sedri. ^_^

Good to see you back at it. I have saved a copy and will read when I'm at home, and hopefully comment later.

~Neshomeh

I especially like Anthony's training, and how he can't quite manage to stop singing things. I also like how you make a giant purple centipede appear affectionate and almost motherly.

Nice work!

Impressive work, and good riddance to a nasty set of Sues. I love the reaction to the crown of many colours.

A couple things :

"“It’s easy for you to saw,” grumbled Tia" may need to have "say" instead of "saw", unless this is a pun.
In "Sweeney Todd screw-up", it's typically treated as just the two words "screw up"
"The owner of the second voice, good-looking boy" probably could use an "a" between the comma after "voice" and "good-looking"
"snuck" (five instances) is technically accepted within most of the United States, but sneaked is preferred, especially in works with an international audience. There are also parts of the US where it'll still get odd looks.
"“Probably”" could use a period at the end.
"But therre’s this other chick, Firalyn," should be "there's".
I think "“What is it?” came a beautiful and musical, but rather surly voice." would have a comma between "surly" and "voice", unless "but rather surly" is a restrictive modifier. If it is restrictive because surly is necessary for identifying the voice, then the comma after musical should be removed. As it is, beautiful and musical don't have a noun to clearly modify.

On the extreme stylistic nitpick side:
You've got someone who's supposed to be leading the narrator to Elwin's room brightly announcing that they've arrived, and then the narrator stating that they've gotten to the door to Elwin's room. If there's reason to clarify that there was no duplicity, this is useful, but if there is, I've missed that reasoning. There's a pretty good opportunity for a joke here based on duplicity -- for example, pointing that the room of a Sue is seldom a good place, but that the addition of a giant centipede, several Orcs, and a trio of mini-balrogs spiced up the scenery -- might get it out of the psuedorobotic tone it falls for a second there.

Likewise, there are a few places where both agents in a scene respond to each with very similar sounding tone, most notably when both say "All right". That's actually very realistic, especially if the Agents have spent much time working together, but it doesn't look great in prose. If you want a theme of individuals who are similar inside despite how different they are physically, this can be a useful subtle trick, but I dunno if that's what you're aiming for.