Dec 2009 Archive, part a

... I didn't know there were any other Midwestern Boarders. I'm in between you, though -- a proud (though rather global) Wisconsinite.

I don't live in Michigan now, but my fiance and I did until a few months ago. We're in Chicago now. Perhaps there are enough of us in this general Northern Midwest area to try for a Gathering sometime.

I'm glad you had a good Thanksgiving. We did, too. ^_^

~Neshomeh

I didn't even try this year. :P It's because I knew I'd have a bazillion and one other writing projects on the go. (Creative Writing course, I love you so much.)

Twenty thousand words in a month! You, ma'am, should be proud. :D

Did it. Didn't finish... But oh, I had much fun! It's good to really get writing again. The output didn't make much sense, but then I started rearranging the scenes in yWriter, and now I'm really excited to start smoothing it out into something decent!

But first I need to actually, you know, finish the story. That was my problem: No idea of the plot specifics. Overall arcs, yes. Specific plot points? No.

Output: 22,473 words. And the file is constantly open on my laptop so that I can keep adding to it. :D

I didn't put enough time into it early on, and then I started a new job, so...no. I do still want to finish my story, though.

I'm still working on the story I started on November first last year. Of course, by now it's over a hundred thousand words long, but still...

My second year and second win. I got to 85k. *grins*

This is my third year doing it, and my first year winning. I'm really excited.

50,054!

Heh. NaNo cut me short an hour, so I'll never know the final official count, but I doubt it'd go from 24,880 to 50K in the change; maybe up to 25K, but eh. Still, better than I've done in the past! Last year's was a bit over 14,000. Maybe next time, we'll see. This was, I think, my fourth try-- certainly not my last.

And then I wrote a little thing about it, and managed to not wallow in self-pity and failure! So that's all good.

Glad you made it! And enjoyed it. ^_^

...is the little *starred notes* marking out where story becomes lyric and vice versa. I just... was that really the only way the author could think of to make that distinction? XD

*Lyric*I want to drown all of my misery into the green troll's blood.*End Lyric Section*

*Post*That is really weird. Did she think we couldn't tell them apart?*End Post Section*

*Lyric*And brown swamp drink.*End Lyric Section*

It's moments like this that I remember why I hate that song...

This little charmer.

Not that I would be as cruel as to send my agents into a second Evanescence songfic.

...

...

>:)

... Two mini-Balrogs,
And a single glistening tear.

Good idea. ^_^

~Neshomeh

Don't forget that she's Ruth in the Pirates of Penzance movie.

I feel the same way about Christopher Lee.

http://xkcd.com/493/

Well, that's if you average in people in tiny disease-ridden African countries where nobody lives to be over 50. And the longer you live, the more likely you are to go on living. It's truth.

Humans are known to live to be over one hundred.

KILL THESE FICS WITH FIRE!

Ohh... tempting to try a whole song. Not just the first line and let everyone else do the rest! However I will spare the world my singing, Sues may sing with the birds but I sing with my dog... and she sounds far better then I do!

I planned to do this one last year, but never got round to it. Finally finished!

"It was Christmas Eve (we think)
In Headquarters
My partner said to me
"We've got another one!"
A Sue that sang a song
'Bout Frodo's eyes so blue
I turned my face away
But our duty we must do

We got a nasty one
It won't be easily done
I got a feeling there'll be trouble with this Sue
But happy Christmas
If we survive this
We'll get vacation if it's the last thing we do

She's got tits out to here, hair like rivers of gold
And she smashed up the canon, or so we've been told
So we take up our blades on this cold Christmas eve
And we gulp down the Bleepsinthe while waiting for she

She's so sweet, she's so pretty
Princess of Gondor city
When she sings and she dances they howl out for more
Her sword she's a-swinging
Kelly Clarkson she's singing
She bears Frodo's children, calls Arwen a whore

The girls and boys of the PPC
The Sue have vowed to slay
While the canon characters scream and run away

She's a brat, she's a punk, she's a pain writing junk
Staring into the screen, typing "PLEEZ DUN B MEEN!"
You slimy young maggot, call Samwise a faggot?!
Merry Christmas my arse, I thank God it's your last!

The girls and boys of the PPC
The Sue have vowed to slay
While the canon characters scream and run away

"I oughta leave HQ ..."
"Oh, don't do that, I'll miss you!
You've helped me stay half-sane
Since I first found you!"
"I guess you have a point.
Hey, pass the Bleeprin here.
This job's not always bad, as long as I'm with you."

The girls and boys of the PPC
The Sue have vowed to slay
While the canon characters scream and run away."

To the tune of "Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella"
A tribute to DOGA.

Bring a torch, Selene and Dafydd,
Bring flamethrowers, come hurry and run!
It's a palace, a palace in Mirkwood,
Abusive!Thranduil, and "Leggy" calling:
Ah, ah! Beautiful is the Mary,
Ah, ah! Beautiful is the Sue!

It is wrong to muck with the Canon,
It is wrong to warp time and space.
Hasten now, Selene and Dafydd!
Lest you be late, and miss the charges.
Ha, ha! Look at the stupid palace!
Ha, ha! Look at the stupid 'Sue!

Swiftly now, to burn the palace,
Swiftly now, to burn the 'Sue.
See how prettily it is burning,
See how the fire restores the Canon!
Ah, ah! Beautiful is the fire,
Ah, ah! Beautiful are the flames!

~Neshomeh

*fails at life*

Suethors We Have Heard On High (A tribute to the DMS, sorta)
Suethors we have heard on high
Blithely singing their foul songs,
And the characters reply
Applauding these monstrous wrongs.

Rhachon le, labo vi Orodruin!
Rhachon le, labo vi Orodruin!

Canons, why listen to this?
Why resign now to your fates?
Why do they bring you such bliss?
Do not fall for this snake's baits.

Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!
Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!

Come to Headquarters and see
Agents whose quest the Sues to sting;
With unmitigated glee,
They excel at their slaying.

Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!
Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!

Jay, Cassie Young, Laburnum
Acacia, Nat, Foxglove
Hunters of the Sue so dumb,
To them hearts in love we raise.

Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!
Rhachon le, Labo vi Orodruin!

(I know Orodruin is a bit awkward, syllable-wise, but it still works.)

after the tune of "Last Christmas" by Wham.

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

Once written, we must try
To get good feedback, but you just roll your eye.
Tell me, Suethor; do you need a beta?
No, I thought not, I guess I’ll read ya later.

Here’s a website; I linked it up and sent it
With a note saying “You need help!” I meant it.
Now I know what a fool I’ve been.
You don’t want to improve, you just crave the attention.

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

In a chat room, users with weird names.
I see you’ve blocked me; why such childish games?
My glod, I thought you’d appreciate assistance,
But your grammar errors show up with great persistence.

Another tenth walker for the one-hundredth time,
A Harry/Snape slashfic? This is really a crime!
Oh well, if this is what you call plot,
I guess I’ll leave you to it!

Last fanfic, I gave you concrit,
But the very next day, you waved it away.
This time, I guess you won’t mind
If I just leave flames instead.

I love writing stuff like this. Especially now that I've listened to "The Twelve Days of Christmas," Shrek-style, and "The Muppet's Christmas Carol" excessively.
The first one is a bit sacrilegious, but it was fun to think out. It kinda loses its momentum in the second half, but I still like it. It's set to the tune (and some words) of "The First Noel". There's only two verses to it (instead of the original song's six) because I ran out of ideas and I only know the first two original verses. I might go back and write more in, though.

--

The First "Oh Hell"

The first "Oh hell", the agents did say
was to certain poor Consoles in rooms where they lay.
In rooms where they lay processing Sues
for assassins to kill; hey—that's old news.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Born is a Sue and canon's unwell.

The fic was bad—the worst they'd seen.
Duty was calling to kill the teen.
Agents looked and saw her near,
so they charged and murdered without fear.

Oh hell, oh hell,
Oh hell, oh hell.
Dead is a Sue and canon is well.

--

I wrote the second one and found that it was frighteningly easy. Song and tune filked is "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". It was originally going to be "Mary the Talking Unicorn", but I changed it when I found a better one. Most of the words are from the original song. The canon names are from these fandoms, in the same order: Harry Potter, Provost's Dog, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Discworld, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Star Wars, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, I'm not calling these characters Sueish. I'm just naming them because they work the best and are relatively well known. This song is a dedication to all those PPC-ers who dislike certain canon Sues and would kill them if they could. (Note: Canon in the song is being used in place of saying "permanent character from a series".)

--

"Mary the Sueish Canon"

You know Harry and Beka
and Aslan and Frodo.
Rincewind and Olaf
and Leia and Sparrow.

But do you recall... The most famous canon of all?

Mary the Sueish Canon
had some very wilver eyes.
And if you ever saw her,
you would say they attract guys.

All of the other canons
used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Mary
join in any canon games.

Then one foggy winter eve
Mary saved the day.
"Mary with your wilver eyes,
you caught bad guys by surprise!"

Then all the canons loved her
as they shouted out with glee,
Mary the Sueish canon,
watch out for the PPC!

Sounds like fun, I'll try my hand at one of these, though I'm not sure how good it is:

"Mary Sues Roasting on an Open Fire" (set to "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Mary Sues roasting on an open fire,
Minis nipping at their bones,
Bad fanfiction written by hormonal tweens
Making fan characters dressed like hos.

Ev'rybody knows poor spelling and obnoxious OCs
Can make a fanfic really bad,
The Mary Sues with eyes of gold
Find it hard to keep off their "twu luvs".

They don't know the PPC's on their way,
They've loaded all their weapons used to slay,
And ev'ry agent does aspire,
To see those Mary Sues fry.

And so I offer this simple phrase
To all you Mary Sues,
Although it's been said in may times, many ways,
"Get dead, you Sue".

...Yeah, it's not that good. You can use it if you want.

Here's mine: "The Agents Never Sleep" to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". (Disclaimer: I can never remember where to put the comma in that title.) I'll record it, too, if I can get my mic to work. :D


God rest ye, weary Agents
The holiday is here
And yet you dread the beeping of
The console that lies near
For though this is a holiday
Your duties are still clear

So the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the Agents never sleep

Get off your lazy buttocks,
The Sunflower commands
There’s Sues on the horizon now;
I’ll play the call to arms.
In sending troops to battle
The Flower has no qualms

So the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
So the Agents never sleep

And so the Agents march
Their footsteps crunching in the snow;
They hunt a Mary-Sue to ground
And end her sordid show
Her author thought that she was safe
But now the world will know

That the Agents never sleep
Never sleep
That the Agents never sleep

"Durin's Bane, in Moria"
to the tune of "Gabriel's Message"

The Maia, Melkor's spawn, from the pit came,
His form as shadow black, his eyes as flame;
His whip of fire and sword of steel he carries,
The Balrog, Durin's Bane, in Moria!

A Mary-Sue the Fellowship did join,
And Frodo's spotlight swiftly did purloin;
Two agents killed her dead before she e'er did see
The Balrog, Durin's Bane, in Moria!

The agents on their mission scratched their heads,
"What can we do with Mary-Sue now that she's dead?"
"I know the thing for her," the senior agent crowed:
"The Balrog, Durin's Bane, in Moria!"

Now when the Mary-Sues in Arda be,
They're all assassinated by the PPC;
But where do all the sparkly, urple bodies go?
The Balrog, Durin's Bane, in Moria!

~*~

Not that I endorse feeding all Middle-earth Sues to the Balrog. It just worked for the song. ^_^; Speaking of which, I'm guessing most people aren't familiar with "Gabriel's Message"--it's not played on the radio or anything--so here are the original lyrics for comparison. I've heard it put to two different tunes, as performed by the Choir of Trinity Church and by Elisabeth Von Trapp (yes, those Von Trapps). The former is more hymn-like, the latter more upbeat and folky. I had the latter in mind for this. {= )

~Neshomeh

Perhaps I could record some of the existing songs? I'm not sure if I can get my microphone working, but I could try.

As in, you're planning to stop? :(

And that other greetings-style stuff pople say. I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object, and welcome you to Munchkinland Hogwarts the PPC.

Have fun!

And probably the only poke you'll get, as the Ceremonial Poking of the Newbie is rather an old tradition. Anyway: *pokes*

I second pretty much everything Sedri said regarding beta-reading and OCs and being comfortable. Sometimes the best way to learn is just to chuck it out there and take what comes with an open mind. {= )

~Neshomeh

Kudos for you for seeking to better yourself! Have an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and hey, it whisks eggs. Not only that, but it's pretty useful for getting rid of author wraiths and the spambots that pop up every now and again.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Have a venomous arthropod!

Unfortunately, I won't be buying AC2 until it hits the bargain bins at Target. Sorry!

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the fandom, but props for getting out there and looking for a beta - I'm sure you'll find someone!

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a set of archery equipment from the Raven Armory! I don't know the fandom, so I can't beta, but hello anyway.

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here.

I'm afraid I don't know that fandom, so I can't help you directly, but I commend your dedication. It took me about six years to swallow my perfectionistic fears and post my work, and it was only thanks to some very good 'net friends that I've since built up my courage and am trusting myself - and yet I still find myself clinging to the feedback from my betas.

(By the way, you might want to start by changing "research" to "researching" in your first line.)

As for your actual request, our community isn't exactly a free beta-reading service; we do favours for each other, yes, but generally our lives are busy and we stick to writing missions because that's what we love best. So it's really up for grabs as to whether anyone around here has both the time and background knowledge to give you a hand. If no one can help, might I suggest some other methods?

Firstly, there are various litmus tests around which you can take to help judge it yourself, some of which cater to original characters, which can therefore be adapted reasonably well to any fandom for which no specific test has been devised. A few seconds of googling found me this, which looks pretty good, at first glance. If it doesn't work, just do some searching on "Mary Sue litmus test" until you find something that does work.

You could also browse around fanfic archives specific to Assassin's Creed and ask some active writers whose work you think well of if they would mind reading over yours and giving a brief opinion - most people, I've found, are more than willing to give up a little time (especially if you compliment their work first, but I didn't say that).

Or, if there's absolutely no other option, you could simply dive in and see what happens. I suggest this, actually; the worst thing you could get is a bad review, but if you put a polite, succinct author's note at the start saying you would really appreciate honest feedback because you are so worries that your OC might have some Stu-traits, you will almost certainly get feedback. It won't all be good, but some will, and that's what you're after, right?

Also, if you're anything like I was seven years ago, then I suspeect you may feel like you have to present something perfect right away or else your penname will get a not-so-great 'reputation'. If so, let me say that it's an empty worry. For one thing, this is the Internet - you can always change your name and start over. But even besides that, you've got to feel comfortable with your work because you like it. If you stake your feelings on other people's opinions, you're forever going to be a slave to them. Trust me. That's not how a writer should work. To be happy with it yourself, simply be honest. Ask yourself the hard questions. Would you be willing to completely scrap your favourite scene, plotline, or character if it was bringing the story down? Are you putting too much of yourself or your wishes into the story? These are the kinds of questions the litmus tests will make you think about, even if they don't apply directly. They're probably your best bet.

... I've rambled on. Oops. Sorry; tends to happen. I do have one last question: Are you joining our PPC community, or are you just dropping in to ask for help this once? Either is fine, but it would be good to know.

That said, nice to meet you :)

- Sedri

Sorry!

Finally, I can hand this stuff off.

'm not allowed to drink it anymore, not after the Hot Fuzz incident. But I didn't want to waste it, ya know?

Welcome!

Nice to see new faces around here. Lovely to meet you. Here, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Useful for throwing at Sues and staring at, respectively (although throwing the Shiny at a Sue might distract her, come to think of it).

And, as below, possibly the only one you'll get. *ceremonially pokes*

Welcome!

I checked out that list... until I got side-tracked by the "Jekyll's Children" series. GAG. I mean, the LXG version of Dr. Jekyll suffers from serious Adaptation Decay, but really. Is that writer serious? I almost want to PPC it, but I don't know if I could stay sane. O.o

~Neshomeh, a fan of original!Jekyll and stage!Jekyll. But that's about it.

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and hey, it whisks eggs! It's also pretty useful for getting rid of author wraiths and those pesky spambots. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Have a Trandsimensional Pocket Knife. If you find a use for it, do let me know - I have too many.

Cheers,
- Sedri

Have a softnose laser. They kill, so don't worry about the bit charrie Sues. Hee.

Help yourself to a venomous arthropod!

Have a shrunken head.

Try not to spend it all in one place.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a scimitar from the Raven Armory and a jug of bleepka. Hopefully I won't have to run into any of those fics soon. *shudders* I'm most definitely not going after the Twilight ones. I hate that fandom, so why protect it?

*takes off helmet*
Damn, those S-IVs almost got me that time.
Oh, a new guy!
Here, you get first prizes from the loot! For you, an M12 Light Grenade Launcher!
Might I advise you use it for blowing walls and doors in, only? It'd kill a Sue way too fast.

*shudders*

Fortunately, some of them has been PPCed already.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provide receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here are some coconuts. You know how many.
-Mad Maudlin

Fire's too good for it. Anyway, here's a Lightsaber for your troubles, as a recruitment gift.

Right now I am sitting in my nice warm house with the fire going. Outside the weather is giving us an average of -20 C. Fuuunnnn...

Leto - whom is building Snow!Hogwarts, compleat with Snow!Ghosts.

... it's alternately stinking hot and blue skies, or overcast and muggy. Yay, summer.

...we're expected to get 10-14 inches here over the next day or so.

*starts stockpiling snowballs*

It's supposed to snow here today. *imagines snowboarding wistfully*

Fun weather here - freezing fog overnight leaves tons of hoarfrost behind. We had snow, but it's mostly burned off by now.

probably won't stick, though, except for the rain.

I was there (in Uppsala, near Stockholm, more precisely) for a job interview, and I was told it was supposed to be covered in snow at this time of the year. I saw the first snow on December 1st. Yay global warming.

BTW, what's Amateria?

>.>

<.>
*sidles off-screen* *may or may not be constructing large amounts of ammo* *just in case, of course*

~Neshomeh

What on earth are you going to do with the GAJILLION OCs in that fic? O.o As Barid said, if you have that many, just write an original story already. It boggles the mind. My deepest sympathies to your agents.

Also, out of morbid curiosity, what was the House one like?

~Neshomeh

And how to overthrow them.

Greetings, life-form. I come bearing dice. You now have a full set...if a full set means 300 d12's and a d30.

I am fairly new here, but I have to say...some of what I see has me worried. I think that you should listen to the advice of Neshomeh and the rest and run your ideas past someone who has been around awhile. Run it past several someones, just to get a better sample.

Anyways, have fun and don't eat in the cafeteria if it can be avoided.

*proffers her obligatory plate of lembas*

Such enthusiasm is good to see, but I think you're taking the whole thing a bit more seriously than it's meant :) We're a place for having fun at the expense of badfic, not for SRSFACE dystopic worldbuilding at the expense of fanfic :)

Have a poke around on the Wiki and you'll get the idea :D

Welcome!

Welcome to the PPC! Here's a flamer-proof (don't ask how) shield from the Raven Armory and a bottle of bleeprin in case of badfics. The story idea sounds interesting.

Can I call you Max? Anyway, help yourself to a venomous arthropod!

... using your ideas for an original work, rather than a PPC-based one? I don't want to discourage you from joining or writing PPC-based stuff, but we decided as a community some while back that we'd had enough world-shaking events, and though I can't speak for the whole Board, my personal feeling is that what you're describing is more complicated than we're prepared to deal with right now. (I hope other people will speak up on the matter one way or another.)

This community was founded on a love of canon and light-hearted sporking. I don't know which PPC missions you've read, but you should read the Original Series, which is here: http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/story.html

Also, this is the article on Permission that Pads mentioned: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission

And finally, first poke! *pokes*

Welcome!

~Neshomeh

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! It's also pretty useful for getting rid of those author wraiths and pesky spambots. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Hey, another newbie onto whom I can pass my unwanted goods!

Have some gym socks, too!

Welcome.

Here. Have a spider drone! It's a fairly cool 3.3 meter tall robot with a .50 Cal chaingun.
Enjoy, and welcome to the PPC!

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.
^= mere formalities. Here, have a lovely bunch of coconuts.

I'm giving away all my Agents' friends and family members...

Welcome! And may I say it's excellent to see such enthusiasm. A few points:

1) I'm sure someone will throw you the wiki link to Permission soon enough (I don't know the coding to embed it myself). The short version is: we don't just hand it out willy-nilly. You'll need to hang around for a month while we get to know you a bit first.

2) You will indeed have to show off your writing; how else can Permission-worthiness be judged, if not by checking your writing skills?

3) Most excellent reasons for writing. I heartily approve.

And a subsidiary 4) Tell us more about this sinister side. From what little you say it sounds like the sort of idea that could do to be run past the Board first.

What's "Super Robot Wars"?

~Neshomeh

What problems would Tadkeeta's new body have besides a lack of stamina and frequent aches?

"This statement is false", or some more complicated system of statements that lead to the same contradiction.

Does K-9 have an off switch? Maybe a reset button? Or they could take the batteries out, I suppose. Although that could be difficult, since I seem to recall K-9 firing lasers at Giles at one point. Hmm.

Sorry I'm late. Help yourself to a venomous invertebrate!

Sorry if I'm a bit late, but welcome to the PPC! Here's a shiny dagger and a bottle of bleeprin.

Trust me. You're gonna need it.

Welcome!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, HERE is a loverly bunch'a coconuts. Use it for good evil Chaotic Neutrality.

First poke! *pokes*

It's tradition. {= )

Welcome!

~Neshomeh

I see the Link Masters have already swept through, so I present you with your very own Capillary Towel and a shiny DMS badge, flag, and complimentary cap. Because we're the best department, of course.

Ah, Hong Kong! That's in Asia! Welcome, newbie! Have a can of salted nuts! They're great for cheep laughs.

Hi there! My gift to you is an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! It's also pretty useful for getting rid of author wraiths and those pesky spambots. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Hi! Nice to meet you. Ansela's given you the links you need, so I'd just like to welcome you to the PPC and present you with your welcome gifts of a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Lovely to have you here.

(And don't mind if you get poked and showered with bizarre gifts by everyone, it's a traditional welcome here. :P)

Hong Kong? Nice. My uncle and his family live there, and a few of the people in my Japanese class hail from Hong Kong :D

I comes bearing links. *drags out Big Bag O' Links and digs through it*

First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).

I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.

For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago. What do you mean I'm exaggerating? The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here.

Well, I think some people here will give you links, otherwise go to the PPC LJ comm or the wiki, there are links.

And she tells us every sentence, as if we can't remember.

+++Conclusion+++

+++KILL WITH MUSTARD+++

+++THE LOT OF THEM+++

I remember this mission :D Go Sedri and bloody murders of replacement characters!

Why would you ever say Legolas is like Mr. Darcy? In what way have they EVER been alike. Gah...and she fully admits her character is a Sue. Well, at least she's honest. Kudos for that?

Oh...oh god. That's just pathetic. Wow.

It sucks that you need a disclaimer to point out that you are not responsible for people lying about their age.

I would take out the part from "I take no" to " thousands of miles". People who deliberately read past two or more age warnings are not going to be bothered whether or not that is your responsibility (it is, it's never their fault /irony), and it kind of takes away the will for anyone else to read further. Whereas I think that the section on themes is important to be read. Perhaps you could even off-set the last two sentences in their own paragraph.

Hope you'll be spared this kind of asshattery in future.

Might want to make it a bit shorter, though. Essays worth of disclaimers tend to be irritating after a while, especially if it sounds defensive. Also, people are more likely to read something short.