I have two badfics for you guys to PPC/MST. Please, for the love of god, someone kill them. Just… *coughs nervously* don’t look at the author’s name?
*sighs* Yeah, I decided that, what the hell, I’d throw up my two earliest fanfics. I hope. You see, I first thought that Years of Hell was my first. Turns out that old adage of never forgetting your first was wrong. Unless repressed memories get excluded? Because that’s the only way I could have forgotten the horror of my actual first fanfic. Let’s hope for everyone’s sake that I don’t uncover any more things. Well, barring that one Eragon ripoff I did. Urgh. Out of all the things I could have plagiarised for schoolwork, why did I have to choose Eragon?
Anyway, for the fics I’ve throwing out to the wolves, I have one for both sides of the fandom war, both equally horrible…
Years of Hell: The Darkness Spreading: A Star Wars story, set after the Vong War. This is without my having read more than snippets at the time of writing the fic and still only having read the final New Jedi Order book right now (though wishing I had the others) and I can’t remember much of it. Mary Sue is Anakin’s apprentice (this was written before The Force Unleashed was announced, too), super-Sith appear, turn out to be not so super against Mary Sue, two sequels planned involving time travel and Mirror Universes fortunately abandoned along with this. Here’s the address: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5205702/1/
8472: A Star Trek epic compressed into two pages. Every bit as bad as that sounds. Written for English homework. Got a B for it. Teacher was probably drunk. There is nothing else I can really say other than I screw with the Federation, the Borg, Species 8472 and, for reasons that shall forever remain unknown, the Talaxians. Address here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5205700/1/
If anyone does take on these fics, my only request is on my profile page. Basically, give me links to wherever you post. Thanks. Also, *begs for forgiveness*
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Badfics for Sale! by
on 2009-07-11 10:51:00 UTC
Link to this
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The DMSE&R need your help! by
on 2009-07-11 22:08:00 UTC
Link to this
We're prepping for our Personality Dialysis lab as we speak (refer to this if you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) and we need some Suvian specimens! The methods we are testing are:
Dialysis
Genetically Modified Vampire Bats
Dwarf Hair/Saliva
Glitter Extraction (kinda like the Embryo Extractor in BadSlash)
So based on that, we'll need some more victims. If you want to donate your latest capture in the name of science, contact us as soon as possible. Thank you.
Bill Fallis and Lori Starrett -
Hrm. I'll see what I can find... (nm) by
on 2009-07-12 00:29:00 UTC
Link to this
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No need to; I've been hunting around deleterius & lotrsues. (nm) by
on 2009-07-12 02:06:00 UTC
Link to this
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Hm... I think I donated already. by
on 2009-07-11 23:27:00 UTC
Link to this
You could use that Evil Flippy canon Stu my agents gave you a while ago.
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Point me to the mission and I'll go pick him up. (nm) by
on 2009-07-11 23:32:00 UTC
Link to this
- Be careful, it's not work OR brain safe. by on 2009-07-11 23:36:00 UTC Link to this
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Paging Trojie (or any other prospective beta) by
on 2009-07-12 04:33:00 UTC
Link to this
Hey Trojie, can you take a look at the latest DMSE&R lab to make sure I've got my facts all in order? Ditto for the grammar and spelling.
If someone else wants to take a peek, tell me as well. -
Er, potentially, but ... by
on 2009-07-12 07:31:00 UTC
Link to this
... it might take me a while, given I'm currently on an intensive statistics course in a country far from home and I don't have a great deal of time on Teh Intarwubs. I probably won't have the time to do a proper beta on anything until I get home, which isn't til early August.
Also, telling me where I might find it would probably be useful.
(PS: you can also email me - you do have my address, don't you? :) just a thought) -
well... by
on 2009-07-12 18:28:00 UTC
Link to this
I don't really require a full beta, just a check to make sure I've got the science facts in "Background Information" down right. I'll email it to you. :]
Although I might warn you that the Background Info is the biggest section in the lab. -
Re: well... by
on 2009-07-12 22:59:00 UTC
Link to this
Trojie's busy as all hell; just send it my way. If there are any biological issues, I'll check 'em with her anyway.
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Link would helpful. (nm) by
on 2009-07-12 07:27:00 UTC
Link to this
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The OOC. It kills me. by
on 2009-07-13 02:41:00 UTC
Link to this
Payment, by Cat2000. I found it via deletrius, where some of the comments ranged from "Blllllleeeeeaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh" to "I can't read this anymore!"
Why? It's NSFW, NSFB (probably). It features Drunk Abuser!Aragorn and Wimpy Woobie!Legolas. And Sauron in coropeal form. -
Has this been claimed yet? by
on 2009-07-17 20:28:00 UTC
Link to this
And if not, can I kill it? Or, like, aid whomever is killing it?
Because this is... Wow...
And I have a rather strong stomach. -
Isn't this a triple-post? (nm) by
on 2009-07-13 15:52:00 UTC
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I can't edit to put them all in one post... by
on 2009-07-13 18:27:00 UTC
Link to this
They're each on a different date, and no one's posted anything new after any of my other posts. Sorry if it is, though.
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You could have added them as comments to the original. (nm) by
on 2009-07-13 18:35:00 UTC
Link to this
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Sorry! They all felt rather off topic from each other... by
on 2009-07-13 18:50:00 UTC
Link to this
Maybe this should be a pointer in the wiki somewhere. Because it said not to post badfic reports in different messages, but never something when the topics are as different as peas and apples.
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Frankly, I don't think it matters right now. by
on 2009-07-14 07:18:00 UTC
Link to this
The Board has been moving very slowly lately, and it's not as though the active threads are being pushed aside. The don't-double-post rule is good general practice, but over-enforcing at times like this seems silly. Actually, I'd have been more irritated if these three posts HAD been in one thread, because then I'd have to look through all the sub-posts to see if there's anything I should respond to.
Sorry, rambling. In short, Lily, I think you were right to make a new post for the badfic report. The Board isn't jumping with new, active threads right now. -
Very well. (nm) by
on 2009-07-15 00:47:00 UTC
Link to this
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Sorry. by
on 2009-07-13 15:53:00 UTC
Link to this
It's just that I haven't my Fanfic Land activities yet, and don't want them pushed down any more than you do.
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Mission plug! Torchwood this time! Contains no spoilers! by
on 2009-07-15 01:05:00 UTC
Link to this
*pops in briefly from her academic whirlwind*
Greetings, good Boarders and please allow me to plug a Torchwood bad slash mission by Trojie and Pads
http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/98419.html#cutid1
Is NSFW, short, silly, nonspoilery, contains some discussion of how being possessed affects the whole 'consent' issue, and a bit of discussion of what constitutes 'sexy'. Enjoy! -
and another plug! by
on 2009-07-15 15:44:00 UTC
Link to this
The sooner we got this one out the way, we thought, the sooner we could curl up in a corner and weep. Seriously brain breaking, the original fic called itself crack, and featured Dumbledore and Dobby. You have been warned.
Mission, stripped as usual of the worst of the horror, is here: http://agenttrojie.livejournal.com/98620.html -
*whimpers* by
on 2009-07-17 04:09:00 UTC
Link to this
Oh, sweet merciful *whatever.* Dumbledore, and Dobby, and sex-slaves and I have to go scrub my brain out with bleach and steel wool now.
That said, very well-written mission. -
Re: *whimpers* by
on 2009-07-17 14:22:00 UTC
Link to this
If it makes you feel better, we've nothing so hideous on our To Do list for a while. Or at least nothing so graphically hideous; the Snape-knocks-up-Harry is scarring, but not in the same way.
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Your sweet merciful *what???* by
on 2009-07-17 10:55:00 UTC
Link to this
I solemnly swear Agent Whatever is in no way involved in this.
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Nah, that was just referring to my lack of belief in a deity (nm by
on 2009-07-18 03:54:00 UTC
Link to this
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psst! by
on 2009-07-18 03:56:00 UTC
Link to this
That'd be "sweet merciful Glod", then.
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Read it. Erp. (nm) by
on 2009-07-15 03:27:00 UTC
Link to this
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*offers gingery stomach remedy* (nm) by
on 2009-07-17 00:48:00 UTC
Link to this
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New here by
on 2009-07-15 03:52:00 UTC
Link to this
Hello all! Pipistrellus is the name, lurking's my game. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am currently working on a Bachelor of Arts somewhere deep in the southeastern US. I do a lot of lurking on SomethingAwful, news sites and (gasp!) a few blogs. I love humor in all its forms and media. I'm into a fair amount of fandom--mostly Avatar, X-Men, Spider-Man, Harry Potter, and some LOTR. When I can tear myself away from the computer, I work in the garden, paint, and sell produce at my local farmer's market.
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A belated hello... by
on 2009-07-19 00:45:00 UTC
Link to this
Hi! Welcome to the PPC! Here's a shield from the Raven Armory that can be easily decorated with paint. (It's water-proofed.)
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Re: A belated hello... by
on 2009-07-19 01:09:00 UTC
Link to this
Excellent! I will decorate it with images of fluffy bunnies chewing on the heads of offending Saxons.
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Hello, small mammal. by
on 2009-07-17 00:47:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *offers bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have much use for it here. Also, here is a Random Shiny which may or may not have a terrible curse upon it. Go on, take it.
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Re: Hello, small mammal. by
on 2009-07-19 01:10:00 UTC
Link to this
Ah, shiny indeed. Perhaps it is Black Thirteen...
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Perhaps what is Black Thirteen? by
on 2009-07-20 02:30:00 UTC
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And what's Black Thirteen anyhoo?
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Re: Perhaps what is Black Thirteen? by
on 2009-07-23 19:11:00 UTC
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A small, solid black sphere that enables a person to teleport anywhere, anytime they desire. It was in Stephen King's Dark Tower series.
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First Fox by
on 2009-07-16 14:07:00 UTC
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Welcome to the PPC. Oh, nie fandoms.
so, who are your favorite characters in your fandoms? if i may ask. -
Re: First Fox by
on 2009-07-19 01:15:00 UTC
Link to this
Well, I love Nightcrawler in just about all forms of X-Men, but I also like the Brotherhood from X-Men: Evo, esp. Toad. I loved Harry in the Spider-Man movies (James Franco--whoo!); I followed Morbius from the comics for awhile. I like Sandman and Gwen Stacy from the Spectacular Spider-Man tv show.
LOTR and Harry Potter are a little harder. I can't really pick a fave from either, 'cause I like 'em so darn much! -
Welcome! Have a Capillary Towel! by
on 2009-07-16 07:23:00 UTC
Link to this
Good for cleaning up messes.
Can I ask what you're majoring in? And since your name is liable to be shortened, would you prefer "Pip" or "Pipi", or shall we shy away from your sharp, pointy hedge clippers and try to remember the full spelling? ;P -
Re: Welcome! Have a Capillary Towel! by
on 2009-07-19 01:07:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks for the gift! I'm terribly messy; it's perfect.
Graphic design.
Shorten away! Nicknames are cute. :D -
Greetings, new person! by
on 2009-07-15 20:55:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a winged kitten, and watch out for giant glass jars!
Also beware the cheese. It's always plotting, when it thinks we aren't looking... -
Re: Greetings, new person! by
on 2009-07-19 01:20:00 UTC
Link to this
Aww, so cute.
I brought my trusty lightsaber cheese knife. The Force willing I will not have to use it... -
Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by
on 2009-07-15 18:12:00 UTC
Link to this
This one is Ecuadorian, and he's (yes, it's a he again) the funny one. Like Krisprolls, in fact.
Meet the Guayas. -
Re: Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by
on 2009-07-19 01:21:00 UTC
Link to this
As long as the ship isn't Zutarian in nature, all's well.
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Anti-Lustin? (nm) by
on 2009-07-15 15:27:00 UTC
Link to this
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Well hi! by
on 2009-07-15 12:56:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the randomness that is the PPC. Here, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.
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Re: Well hi! by
on 2009-07-19 01:22:00 UTC
Link to this
Thank you for the pebbles--I'll be chucking them at people I don't like.
Oooooh, pretty... -
greetings by
on 2009-07-15 12:26:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a cup of tea.
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Re: greetings by
on 2009-07-19 01:23:00 UTC
Link to this
Why, thank you! Just what I needed.
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Hello! by
on 2009-07-15 11:45:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a shapeshifting plushie.
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Re: Hello! by
on 2009-07-19 01:24:00 UTC
Link to this
It turned into a Billy Bumbler. So cute! :3
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First poke! by
on 2009-07-15 05:59:00 UTC
Link to this
First time I've done that. Hello! May I call you Pip? Here, have an Artifact of Death. Welcome to the PPC!
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Re: First poke! by
on 2009-07-19 01:26:00 UTC
Link to this
Sure!
This artifact could come in handy when I face that dragon in the snowglobe. -
Welcome! *proffers a plate of lembas* (nm) by
on 2009-07-15 05:18:00 UTC
Link to this
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Re: Welcome! *proffers a plate of lembas* by
on 2009-07-19 01:27:00 UTC
Link to this
Thanks! Now I can use it to frame the Fat Hobbit...
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BNF Badfic by
on 2009-07-15 06:22:00 UTC
Link to this
http://sullivanet.com/redwall/creative/flower.htm
Has anyone ever done this one before? If not, I claim. 'Cause I want this witch to BURN. -
Not Snowfur! by
on 2009-07-19 01:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Why did she write such a big stupid Sue? Why? I hate it when they turn the cool evil characters into romantic wusses. I'd much rather see the evil characters pushed into humorous settings. Azalea? Pretty pink dresses? Daisy chains and other flowers? Ferhago crying? Tell me this is a Mary Sue parody and not a real Sue, please. Burn, spork, and vaporize. All that I can say good about it is that there was some action and deaths in it. I would have died of laughter if one of the vermin who was nearby when "precious Azalea" was found dead had patted Ferhago on the back and said, "It's alright, Chief. I feel your pain."
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Katie Sullivan is a badficcer? by
on 2009-07-16 02:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Dang. She runs one of my favorite Donald Duck comic sites.
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Re: Katie Sullivan is a badficcer? by
on 2009-07-16 03:14:00 UTC
Link to this
Don't get me wrong, most of her stuff is awesome. It's just Azalea that gets to me. I mean... just... look at her! She has Ferahgo the Assassin helping her make a daisy chain, for Eru's sake!
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*sniggers* (nm) by
on 2009-07-17 00:45:00 UTC
Link to this
- Pluggage: Mission and Interlude by on 2009-07-15 13:08:00 UTC Link to this
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bit OT; looking for NSFW recs by
on 2009-07-15 22:48:00 UTC
Link to this
So, my housemate just wandered in to trade a brew for a fag, and we ended up discussing the relative merits of written pornography versus visual pornography. As you do. He complains that his imagination's abysmal since he cleaned himself up, and I pointed out that he won't do himself any favours watching, ahem, TV all the time because it rots the brain. Long story short, I now need links to PWP to throw at him. Not just any old PWP either, but really excellent stuff. (And preferably in fandoms I know so I can explain when he gets confused.)
So, any recommendations?
Oh, and some het would be good, because trying to get him on the slash might not really help me make my point all that well.
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Any one coming to Otakon? by
on 2009-07-17 01:44:00 UTC
Link to this
Tomorrow starts Otakon in Baltimore, MD. Is there going to be any agent(s) attending? My small group will have room for anyone to join us. Just look for multiple magicians.
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I hate to be a moron... by
on 2009-07-17 12:42:00 UTC
Link to this
but what's Otakon?
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Re: I hate to be a moron... by
on 2009-07-18 00:54:00 UTC
Link to this
I'd assume it's a combination of "otaku" (outcast, anime/manga nut, me) and "con" (convention). Other than that, I've no idea whatsoever.
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Re: I hate to be a moron... by
on 2009-07-18 02:01:00 UTC
Link to this
You are correct to assume that it is a combination of "otaku" and "convention". It also happens to be one of the biggest anime convention on the East Coast.
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Ooh...* (nm) by
on 2009-07-20 02:28:00 UTC
Link to this
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OT: Moving! by
on 2009-07-17 03:48:00 UTC
Link to this
Yes indeed. Continuing my masquerade as a Responsible Adult, I am, at long last, moving away from my parents and in with my fiance. The last few weeks for me have been spent packing, packing, going to see our apartment, and packing, which is why my activity (and my sanity) has been spotty lately. I'm shooting for the final move to happen this Sunday. How much I'll be around after that will depend on whether my fiance has signed us up for an internet connection by then and, of course, by time spent on the job hunt and then the job itself.
Big change is ahead for me. I don't know yet how much it will affect my PPC activities, but I don't plan to quit. Let's just say I'll be around as much as I'm able.
~Neshomeh -
Have a good time. by
on 2009-07-17 19:31:00 UTC
Link to this
You've been such a help getting me in the swing of things, and I wish you well.
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Thank you. by
on 2009-07-18 04:33:00 UTC
Link to this
... Speaking of which, I don't think you got around to sending me a revised draft. Is that under construction? I may be able to look it over if you can get it to me tomorrow.
~Neshomeh, practicing at time management. -
Yeah, I sent it. (nm) by
on 2009-07-18 19:32:00 UTC
Link to this
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Have a great moving day :) by
on 2009-07-17 15:30:00 UTC
Link to this
I moved in with my boyfriend (and now my fiance) a few years back and I have to say it's probably one of the best things I ever did. I'm sure you'll have a great time.
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Thank you. ^.^ by
on 2009-07-18 04:22:00 UTC
Link to this
If I may pick your brain:
a) Was it hard at first?
b) How did you handle it?
~Neshomeh, who gets stressed out by change, even good change. -
Well ... by
on 2009-07-18 04:30:00 UTC
Link to this
a) Getting used to someone else's habits always is a little, I think, but when I moved out I was so sick of living at home that anything seemed better, and by the time the novelty wore off we were used to each other :)
b)When things were difficult, I handled it by going 'okay, WHY is he acting like this?' and by making sure I didn't hold a grudge. And getting things out in the open. Don't let little grievances fester. That's the most important thing. Have a little argument now when you can easily make it up, rather than letting them build to the point where you have a huge argument that you can't just pout for a bit over and then go ask for a cuddle afterwards.
Change is scary. But it's probably scary for him too, even if he won't admit it. You'll be fine, and you'll have fun :D -
Re: OT: Moving! by
on 2009-07-17 14:20:00 UTC
Link to this
A few pearls of wisdom I've picked up while living with a male housemate:
1) Impress upon him the importance of toilet roll. Living with your parents, you'll have had a mother with sense and a well trained father. Living with your young man, you may well find that he's perfectly capable of saving up his poos until he gets to work, and doesn't realise that this method does not actually work for women.
2) Be prepared for an array of unpleasant substances on tissues dotted about your home. Earwax is the prime culprit in this house, although given your average man there are many other possibilities.
3) There will be Smells. You have been warned.
I wish you the best of luck in your man-training. And also in your moving. Still, at least you get unpacking and shelving books to look forward to. -
So very true. by
on 2009-07-18 04:19:00 UTC
Link to this
We have agreed to make some house rules together, and I intend for hygiene and cleanliness to be among them. The apartment is too small for anything else.
As for smells, we all make them occasionally. No help for that. {= )
Thank you for the advice. I DO look forward to unpacking and shelving as many books as possible. Between the two of us, there are rather a lot. *g*
~Neshomeh -
Re: So very true. by
on 2009-07-18 06:01:00 UTC
Link to this
Ah, you think you're prepared for the smells. I smile at the innocence, but at the same time I grieve for the awakening you will have. Boys' bums, seriously. There's something abnormal going on up there.
I think Trojie has the best words of wisdom, actually. I'm not living with a boyfriend, just with a housemate who happens to be a man. Once a month we find me going absolutely mental at him over the slightest things. We've both found it helps to stop and think "hang on, why is she doing this?" When he realises I'm hormonal, he doesn't take it personally, and when I realise I'm hormonal, I immediately say as much, and apologise for not really being that in control of what an enormous bitch I'm being. Overall, it works pretty well, and you can see how it wouldn't if it were never commented on. So that's probably your best bit of advice to take on board - always consider the whys before you jump to being royally pissed off (and hope to Glod he does the same).
What shelving system have you decided on? Are you merging books or keeping them separate? Alphabetised? Dewey decimalised? And how many books - have you been sad enough to count? -
I like what I did by
on 2009-07-17 10:25:00 UTC
Link to this
I moved to Japan with only what I could carry on my back. Of course I miss all my books and what not. But it is a nice change!
Gambate with your move.
Leto -
Thanks. by
on 2009-07-18 04:30:00 UTC
Link to this
I don't think I'm quite that adventurous. ^_^; Thanks, though.
~Neshomeh -
Re: OT: Moving! by
on 2009-07-17 05:54:00 UTC
Link to this
Quite a masquerade to keep up, isn't it?
Good for you! I wish you luck, and wish I had more interesting things to say, but I don't, so I'll either ramble on randomly or just shut up and say good luck.
Hmm...
Good luck! -
I don't know how I fool people sometimes. by
on 2009-07-18 04:23:00 UTC
Link to this
I certainly don't FEEL like a responsible adult.
Thanks!
~Neshomeh -
Neither do I, and I'm supposed to be... (nm) by
on 2009-07-18 05:43:00 UTC
Link to this
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Snuff or Not Snuff? by
on 2009-07-17 12:42:00 UTC
Link to this
I just came up with a possible story about an incubus. I actually have a few others about incubi/succubi, but none of those do much beyond suck out energy and, in one case, get someone pregnant.
However, this latest idea, probably a oneshot, has the incubus seduce a woman before doing the incubi thing and sucking out her soul. This kills her. My question is this: does this count as snuff? Personally, I’m not sure (and if it does, I’ll probably abandon the story). It’s just, in my experience, snuff is written for sexual pleasure. While I do show the sex scene (or I will, depending on how much I believe I can get away with), I’m not aiming for the reader’s sexual pleasure in the soul-sucking and death section.
Basically, the woman and the incubus (though she has no idea he is one and I’ll leave only minor clues throughout the story until this part) sleep together. When they climax, the incubus kisses her and does something magical. This intensifies and keeps her climaxing until he can suck out her soul, which happens quickly. After that, she twitches briefly in the sort of aftershocks of death and then goes still. And that’s it.
This is only a draft and writing it like that has made me worried about whether it could be interpreted as being written for sexual pleasure (it isn’t, let me assure you). I’m perfectly willing to accept rewrites, but what do you think? As is, would it could as snuff?
A second, related question is, how would Fiction Press react to me posting this? Should I risk it? Or should I post somewhere else? -
Re: Snuff or Not Snuff? by
on 2009-07-17 14:15:00 UTC
Link to this
This sounds remarkably like Torchwood. Have you considered writing for them?
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It does? by
on 2009-07-17 15:20:00 UTC
Link to this
... are you just trying to get me intrigued enough to watch something Who-related?
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Re: It does? by
on 2009-07-17 17:52:00 UTC
Link to this
Well, you should watch Torchwood anyway. But your summary actually reminded me of S01E02, featuring an alien that lives off, ahem, sexual energy released during male orgasm.
...
Look, it's Torchwood. No one said it had to make sense. -
Then that's not Torchwood being original... by
on 2009-07-18 10:17:00 UTC
Link to this
That's Torchwood ripping off succubi.
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I was reminded of Torchwood too by
on 2009-07-18 07:33:00 UTC
Link to this
but of the second season episode "Something Borrowed". Where a vampiric alien creature uses Gwen as an incubator.
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And that's Torchwood... by
on 2009-07-18 10:18:00 UTC
Link to this
ripping off Angel.
Meh. If it's too similar, should I give up? -
Re: And that's Torchwood... by
on 2009-07-18 15:57:00 UTC
Link to this
It's sci fi, it all rips off other shows. Angel won't have been the first. The trick is to take an idea that's been done before and do it very well.
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Snerk. Success? Doubtfull. Still amusing. by
on 2009-07-19 19:11:00 UTC
Link to this
The fic on which I wrote my first mission. It has been deleted.
I'm almost certain that it wasn't because of anything I did (I have no idea how the author would have gotten ahold of my writing, save by the efforts of one particularly misguided friend...)
I am now almost (ALMOST) sad that I didn't save the full text for that one, if only to point people at the awful. On the other hand, I am now very glad that my Agent(s) accidentally rescued all those Pidgins, as their natural habitat has now been utterly destroyed.
Still. Cake, anyone? *Hands out chocolate cake made with espresso in it* -
It happens sometimes. by
on 2009-07-20 01:44:00 UTC
Link to this
She might have seen the light about her writing, or the 'flames' might have got to be too much for her. Hopefully it's the former, since the latter usually results in reposts.
Hmm, cake. Got any plain chocolate cake?
-Ansela, who is in a very good mood from listening to random songs from the BuriMyu soundtracks. -
Re: It happens sometimes. by
on 2009-07-20 05:19:00 UTC
Link to this
Well, there is the fact that she didn't actually have any flames on that one. Which... surprised me...
I took a look around her profile again after I realized that she had deleted it, and it appears she deleted everything not related to Twilight or Vampire Academe. *shrug* Hopefully it won't go back up.
And sure I've got plain chocolate! *hands you a piece kept in reserve* -
Try Convenient Cake, Ansela! by
on 2009-07-20 05:43:00 UTC
Link to this
*shamelessly plugs her own creation*
And it sounds like she's just had a personal spat with the fandom itself, which is possibly the best thing that could happyn (short of, you know, cutting off her hands and vowing to never write again). -
Interesting... by
on 2009-07-20 00:53:00 UTC
Link to this
Maybe someone reported its awfulness. Don't worry. There's still plenty of awful Tortall fanfics to use as examples. Take a look at some of the Kel/Joren ones, for example. There's only a few that aren't bad. On a lighter note, I found a Suefic in which the Rogue was called the Rouge. If I get a chance to PPC it, does anyone want small statuettes of Rosto made of red blush? Granted, they're kinda crumbly...
Save the Pigins! Awesome birdies they are, Rosie.
Yay, caffeinated cake! Thanks! -
Red blush statuette of Rosto? Yes please! (nm) by
on 2009-07-20 21:14:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Here one is! *tosses a statuette over* (nm) by
on 2009-07-20 21:27:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Thanks! *covers it with spray-sealant to prevent crumbling* (nm) by
on 2009-07-21 20:46:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Re: Interesting... by
on 2009-07-20 05:12:00 UTC
Link to this
I'll take a Rosto Blush-statue!
And I know about the Kel/Joren ones. I'm currently prepping this one ( http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2413177/1/A_Squires_Pain ) for killage. In fact, I could use another voice on what exactly to class our heroine and hero in that one as. I'm almost certain that they're replacements in need of a painful death, not just canons in need of exorcism. They're too... Uuugh.
Also, I just stumbled upon a Gary/Raoul story. I'm debating reporting it to Bad Slash or killing it myself...
The ones that get to me are the Kel/Wyldon ones... -
Oh, bother... by
on 2009-07-20 07:31:00 UTC
Link to this
That Kel/Joren has got to have replacements. There is no way they would say stuff like that. I'm going after an AU that annoys me and has definite replacement Sues (color changing eyes for Kel, fake tragic past and weaknesses for Joren), but I'm not sure if we can actually PPC AUs. If we can't PPC them, I'm still going to MST the blasted thing. Kel/Neal, Kel/Joren, and Kel/Roald fics irk me like crazy. Alanna/Roger and Daine/Ozorne fics are just plain disturbing.
Wait... There's Kel/Wyldon fics? *suddenly feels Bloodwrathy*
JUST LET ME GET THE AUTHORS! I'LL TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB! HOW DARE THEY! I'LL FEED ALL OF THEM TO THE KRAKEN ALIVE! I'LL MAKE THEM COOK WITH BLAZEBALM! I'LL FORCE THEM TO WATCH THE TELLYTUBBIES AND LISTEN TO BRITNEY SPEARS 24/7! I'LL-
Okay, calm yourself, Cinnia. *takes a deep breath* Sorry about the caps lock words, but I was very, very, very, very, extremely angry. They've gone way too far with Kel and her romantic life this time. Kel/Cleon and Kel/Dom I understand. But this... *sigh*
Here's a Rosto Blush-statue! Don't you just love Suethor spelling errors? -
Re: Oh, bother... by
on 2009-07-20 07:51:00 UTC
Link to this
*Accepts the statuette and places it carefully on a shelf* Suethor misspellings are the greatest, and provide us with much amusement... *strokes her Pidgin*
*Wordlessly pushes this fic ( http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4490290/1/I_Mustnt_Love_You ) at you*
I... I just... I just can't... It hurts. I HAVE to kill that one at some point. If nothing else, for having TERRIBLE chapter titles. I just have to work up the stomach to read it all the way through. And here I thought I had a strong stomach...
I think (think) we are allowed to go after AUs, provided that there's something sufficiently terrible about them, and such...
I found a Modern AU Kel story that... Well, parts of it bug me, parts of it I actually like, parts of it just hit my WTF meter. I think what I dislike most about it is the fact that the author made Kel a stripper waiting for her man to come save her... *sigh* -
That's disgusting. by
on 2009-07-20 08:38:00 UTC
Link to this
That makes me want to vomit and I don't ever feel nauseous while reading. At least, until that story.
Wyldon is married and has children, for Mythros's sake! A Scanran attack in winter? That's fricking impossible in this continuum! The books clearly stated that the only thing that happened at winter during the Scanran War was the reports from Daine's spies! Also, isn't Wyldon about thirty or forty years her senior? Erg. That's pushing the limits of my gag reflex.
Modern AUs are disturbing. I tend to not like any of them, except parodies.
The AU I found made Kel's eyes change back and forth between hazel and green (but only green when she is in wuv wid pwecious Jorwen). It also made Joren's family "oh so horrible, unchaste, and controlling" and made Joren look like a crappy knight. The Suethor said basically that he stunk at everything but swordplay, which wasn't true in the books. This is an AU, but still... You'll all love this about it, too: Because Joren is supposedly dyslexic, Kel gets to "tutor" him, and both Kel and Wyldon practically state that "all those who have dyslexia are stupid". I about snapped at that point. That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Kel and Neal kiss, Cleon gets dissed, and Joren survives the Ordeal. But what really ticked me off in the first place were three things: There are over sixty chapters in the story, Dom gets beat by Joren in a swordfight while Kel watches, and there are, on average, about fifteen quotes from the books per chapter. All in all, it's confusing to read, (although there's not that bad of writing), stupid to read, and completely contradictory of the books. I hope Tammy never finds it. It would scare her. -
Re: That's disgusting. by
on 2009-07-20 09:05:00 UTC
Link to this
You see why I'm having a hard time with that one? I mean... I'm usually pretty okay with fics, but that one and the Kel/Joren one, and a couple of others, have made me make a sort of long, low "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng..." noise while reading... I suppose that's why we're hear. To kill the Nnnnnnnnnnnnnng-worthy stuff... to make the world clean again... *waxes philosophic*
Er, right then.
I hate it when people say that dyslexia=stupid. Also that dyslexia=get-out-of-spellcheck-free card...
Thankfully Tammy isn't allowed to read fanfics of her own work for fear of accidental plagiarism (Not that she ever... ever... ever could take the ideas that some of these chicks throw out... ) so the likelihood of her seeing these is... Low.
Also. Pain. Something I just stumbled across. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2536173/1/The_Ring_of_Artemis
It's Tammy/Tolkien crossover. 10th Ring. Is in Tortall. Guh. By the same girl who wrote the Kel/Joren fic I shoved at you... It pains me. -
Ouchies. by
on 2009-07-20 18:20:00 UTC
Link to this
Eleven dwarf rings? It's seven! Brown Eyed Girl17 obviously can't research enough to know that, though. Why is Artemis in here, anyway? Both continuums don't have a goddess by that name. And they all use slang! Even Aragorn, Gimli, Arwen, and Legolas. Who wants to bet that Kaylin is Leggy's twu wuv? That is painful. Don't ruin Tortall and Middle-earth by slang-and-ring-filled crossovers, fans! LotR has had enough, anyway.
-
Re: Ouchies. by
on 2009-07-20 18:48:00 UTC
Link to this
OBVIOUSLY it's Artemis because she can't be arsed to do any research. If she were, she could find a goddess in both continuum that have similar characteristics and blah blah blah mythology blah anthropology blah blah raeg blah....
*Ehem*
And of COURSE Kaylin is Leggy's twu wuv! What ELSE?
*sigh* It will die. -
Painfully, I hope, by
on 2009-07-20 19:13:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm suggesting crispy-fried Sue, Mt. Doom-style. Or a meeting with the Skinners.
-
Re: Painfully, I hope, by
on 2009-07-20 19:59:00 UTC
Link to this
How about both? Give them to the Skinners, then drop the bodies into Mt. Doom... Or perhaps just feed them to my Agent(s) Mini-Stormwings...
Or something. Something inventive. And painful. I wonder if Pidgins like the taste of Sue-flesh.... -
How about giving them to Blayce's killing machines? (nm) by
on 2009-07-20 21:12:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Re; Ways to Kill by
on 2009-07-20 23:03:00 UTC
Link to this
Those killing machines have the spirit of children right? Traumatizing. Whoa.
Oh, hey, how about lacing them to the front of a Stormwing? Free takeout anyone? -
Good Idea by
on 2009-07-21 04:47:00 UTC
Link to this
Or, we can make it go to the Chamber of Ordeal, if that's even possible. In one of the books, it did say that anyone with suspicious intentions towards the Chamber were "reduced to ash", or something like that. Sues count as having suspicious intentions, on my scale. Or maybe the Chamber will want to inflict punishments on the Sues itself! That would be interesting to find out.
You don't belong here, it said. You are what humans call a "Mary Sue". You look beautiful on the outside, but have ugly intentions. As such, I condemn you to the Sue execution: Become frightfully ugly and have to look into a mirror. -
Re; Good Idea by
on 2009-07-21 05:09:00 UTC
Link to this
Speaking of great endings, that's brilliant!! I would love to see this mwah ha ha!! Bloodthirsty wench that I am. ^__^ Heh heh!
The dialogue of the Chamber would be an added plus. I wonder what it does to make said enemies ash...AND!! You're absolutely right, since it could see inside the mind of-
^^Because of that the death is bound to be quick. YAY! -
Re: Pain by
on 2009-07-20 13:06:00 UTC
Link to this
Ok, I reached the 'Nnnnnnnnnnnng' stage after the first two lines of that crossover one, at about the point when it said:
“Three rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky,
Eleven for the Dwarf-Lords in there halls of stone,"
Aaarghaaarghaaargh. *sound of head banging against wall* It's not like it's that hard to go and check... And what in the Nine Hells is Artemis doing hanging around either Middle-Earth or Tortall? Were the regular pantheons of either realm lacking in some way?
Though I did crack up when Arwen described Legolas as "the closest thing she had to a brother". Aside from, you know, her *actual* brothers :D -
Re: Pain by
on 2009-07-20 18:42:00 UTC
Link to this
I can't decide if it's killeageable yet. Has her offense become gross enough to warrant it?
I think she just didn't feel the need to go and research... Gawd... eleven dwarf-rings... the pain...
Yeah... It saddens me and amuses me when people forget all about the El twins... -
Re; Re; Pain by
on 2009-07-20 23:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I didn't know of the twins Elrohir and Elladan until I read a fic about them. I really need to get my hands on the books.
How many offenses does one need? Generally speaking... -
Re: Re; Re; Pain by
on 2009-07-20 23:44:00 UTC
Link to this
try to get as many offenses as possible, generally. A long charge list is always a plus. Whether it be written on a notepad, or your partner's arm... >.>
-
Pain^4 by
on 2009-07-21 02:21:00 UTC
Link to this
Oic! That makes things more clear. Hmmm...so post it notes. Going to need.
-
Pardon the Intrusion by
on 2009-07-20 10:24:00 UTC
Link to this
I was wondering if there was a PPC for Naruto, because the sad state of affairs in fanfiction.net is in need of a good cleaning. In fact, I wish to offer up my services in this great cause-
Heh. Just asking if I can write a PPC for the fandom of Naruto. ^____^ What say you? -
Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by
on 2009-08-03 21:04:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm losing track of which ones I already gave... would a black Dutch ship be ok? She's very fast too. I think I'll get stuck with the slow ones very fast, lol.
(btw sorry for the last reply I was on holiday) -
*runs in, skidding to a halt* by
on 2009-07-27 10:32:00 UTC
Link to this
It's been a while. Seems I missed two newcomers. Anyway, have a shapeshifting plushie.
-
...Am I late? Greetings anyway. by
on 2009-07-23 03:38:00 UTC
Link to this
Have a winged kitten!
-
Oooh. New people! Hiiiiiiiiii! by
on 2009-07-21 12:22:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC. Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.
Seeing as other peoples have given you much advice, I shall simply add my greetings to theirs and be glad of your presence. ^_^ -
Re; Newbs by
on 2009-07-21 18:29:00 UTC
Link to this
Heh heh heh, herro. It's a pleasure to meetcha! Thanks for the gifts, I've been needing a new pet rock. And all shiny objects are lustfully appreciated. If that makes cents. O_o
I've been adjusting rather well. At least, I believe I have. -
No, shinies normally don't make cents... by
on 2009-07-27 10:34:00 UTC
Link to this
They make large amounts of the local currency, normally. Good for you.
-
Welcome! First POKE and a Capillary Towel! by
on 2009-07-21 07:19:00 UTC
Link to this
I love these towels. So useful.
Welcome to the PPC! Always good to see newvictimsfaces. *innocent smile* -
Re: Poking Towels by
on 2009-07-21 23:03:00 UTC
Link to this
A towel!! One of those foofy, luxurious, hotel towels I hope? ^_____^ Thanks for the gift, for that I forgive your jab at my paunch.
Heh heh, here I was thinking you guys only have Sumarie victims. -
Not exactly... by
on 2009-07-21 23:59:00 UTC
Link to this
Capillary Towels are one of the funny PPC devices we've created over time - in this case, Trojie and I came up with it. They have in-built plotholes to soak up blood to help with quick cleanups after assassinations. It has an article on the PPC Wiki.
But I suppose it could be fluffy, yes. :) -
Re: Words Can be Decieving by
on 2009-07-22 02:08:00 UTC
Link to this
Ingenious deviousness!! lolz I gotta be careful around you folks.
My repertoire of essential assasin items is growing!! Muchos gracias!! -
'Ello! by
on 2009-07-21 04:59:00 UTC
Link to this
Hang on a second.
*rummagerummagerummage*
Aha! Found it! Here, have an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but spambots and author wraiths, too! Use it for good and notmuchevil.
Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. ^_^ -
Rello! by
on 2009-07-21 05:20:00 UTC
Link to this
Oooh. Possibly the most mystical item I've encountered.
*takes it up to the light and watches pretty flashes for awhile then happily stuffs in pocket*
Many thanks O wise one. I shall of course endeavor only in the name of the just means.
*bows* -
Intrusions? We pardon no intrusions! by
on 2009-07-21 01:14:00 UTC
Link to this
We welcome them! Hi, Li, and welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have any need of it here. Also, have one Internets. Enjoy.
-Mad Maudlin -
Re; Walk in's Welcome by
on 2009-07-21 02:19:00 UTC
Link to this
Nice to meetcha! =D
Oh, whoops, I guess I must have put it in the wrong jar.
*fishes out of change jar and plops in appropriate bucket*
Heh heh, thanks for the gift, I'm going to definitely need it. ^_____^ -
Have some Anti-Lustin Kunai! by
on 2009-07-20 23:37:00 UTC
Link to this
It may help.
-
Re; Did someone say kunai?! by
on 2009-07-20 23:40:00 UTC
Link to this
Oh wooooow. My sparkly pretties. How they glint in the sunlight. Thanks so much kind sir! Or is that miss?
Right, well could you possibly explain the properties of this particular weapon? I've never heard of this Anti Lustin thing. -
Linking to the wiki article... by
on 2009-07-21 01:18:00 UTC
Link to this
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Anti-Lustin
The Kunais produce a limited amount of the substance, meaning that if you are chased by Luxury, a horde of fangirls*, or a generic stalker, you have at least some defence. It doesn't work on Sues, however.
*Though a machine gun would be better in that situation, thankfully, I have one. -
Re: Sharp Objects by
on 2009-07-21 02:10:00 UTC
Link to this
I can see myself needing these amourous affection reducers guaranteed to help Agents. Oh hey, Aargh! Ahem, but thank you, it's probably something all newbs should have huh? I like it; definitely going to be a big help considering I fail at running away.
^______^
Any idea where I could get a machine gun for cheap? Or does that come with experience seeing as I a quick trigger finger? -
If you don't want to kill anyone by accident... by
on 2009-07-21 16:43:00 UTC
Link to this
...Have an Anti-Lustin squirt gun, instead. It produces its own supply of Anti-Lustin, so you don't need to worry about reloading.
-
Re; In teh sprit of perventing axiddentel daeths by
on 2009-07-21 23:06:00 UTC
Link to this
I hope you know that I'll be taking both. And the squirt gun doesn't need Anti-Lustin refills you say?
Marvelous! -
Funny... by
on 2009-07-20 23:09:00 UTC
Link to this
I was just thinking last night that I wished I knew more about Naruto, given that I stumbled upon someone with a lot of Naruto stuff that really, really needs to be killed. Mind if I link you to it?
Oh! And have a case of Bleeprin. Trust me, you'll need it. *Hands you a case* -
Re; Funny by
on 2009-07-20 23:14:00 UTC
Link to this
It must be fate! Much thanks for the bleeprin, it's appreciated. It may be abused, although given my habits I'm probably more prone to losing it. ^___^
Please do link, i'll at least have something to think about while familiarizing myself with the way things work around here. Newb Li at your service!! *salutes and winks cheekily* -
Re: Re; Funny by
on 2009-07-20 23:21:00 UTC
Link to this
Meow... Bleeprin... It is useful.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3491311/1/Songs_of_the_Heart
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3243781/1/A_Sin_Called_Incest
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5020961/1/To_Never_Love_Again
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5055833/1/Sharingans_Heir
*sigh*
I'm prepping one of her other stories (a hideous Tamora Pierce fic) for killiage right now... And rolling around avoiding prepping another one. All of her stuff needs to die. Slowly and painfully. You wouldn't happen to have any knowledge of the TV show Supernatural, would you? Or perhaps the Manga Gravitation? -
Tis Fate! by
on 2009-07-20 23:30:00 UTC
Link to this
I've yet to use it, but there have been wonderful stories of it. Just from the titles I can deduce it's Something To Do With the Uchihas; more specifically Itachi and Sasuke. Ooh, this being my first? Yum. I shall especially relish.
Tamora Pierce eh? Which one would that be? And actually I've knowledge of both. So. She must have a fixation with incest. Poor Sam and Dean. O__o
The manga Gravitation is already yaoi so...huh. Wondering how she'll ruin that. -
Re: Tis Fate! by
on 2009-07-20 23:36:00 UTC
Link to this
I'm in the middle of prepping this one, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2413177/1/A_Squires_Pain And then will be moving on to http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2536173/1/The_Ring_of_Artemis . Which is Tamora Pierce/Tolkien crossover. And brings me pain.
-
O__o by
on 2009-07-21 02:04:00 UTC
Link to this
Oh you have my sympathies. Oh for the love. At least they're short, I guess that's the good part.
The use of cutting and character rupturing is bad enough but there's simply no connection for The Ring of Artemis. It's all over the place, what glop.
*hugs* You sure gonna need it. -
Hi there! by
on 2009-07-20 22:12:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC!
Any fandom welcomes the PPC, be it Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or freakin' Happy Tree Friends (my own forte ^^). And of course we welcome new members. Here, have a Kalashnikov. It was picked up in an Avatar fic that involved communism. Oh, and here's a weighted companion cube (it will never threaten to stab you!). -
re; advice & interesting gifts by
on 2009-07-20 22:46:00 UTC
Link to this
Avatar? Communism? Oo That's a doozy. Thanks for the gifts; now to research what they are!
Oh, and I'm fans of both but not very well versed in book version. Am currently in the process of reading Tolkien's books and some fanfiction. I think I read some of meekerbeeker's fanfics of the PPC, that's what got me started actually. ^_^
I've been reading some of the links that were given to me too. There's been something on my mind though, is the author of Celebrian still writing? Because I got halfway through the story and it was pretty good-
Heh, only kidding. Gotta say though, there's some powerful imagery they conjured up. Was half way through before deciding I really needed to finish my english paper rather than waste time on something so horrendous. Besides, i'd skimmed through the story already, it was just my morbid curiousity that made me delve deeper. Hm. -
Hello! by
on 2009-07-20 18:24:00 UTC
Link to this
Welcome to the PPC! Here's a special helm from the Raven Armory that can block out high-pitched, fangirl shrieking, if needs be.
-
re; Expensive Gifts by
on 2009-07-20 22:36:00 UTC
Link to this
Raven Armory as in the kind of stuff you'd have to sell an arm,a leg and the most annoying sibling off just to even look at the thing!?!? *bliss* Wow.
I'd give you a Hermes tea set but not sure if you like drinking the stuff. -
Actually... by
on 2009-07-21 04:07:00 UTC
Link to this
It's more like I take the stuff off of Sues who no longer require the said item (aka dead Sues) or I sell a rich Sue's belongings. Then I tamper with the items. You'd be surprised at how effective this method of getting cool Raven Armory stuff is. (Selling the Sue's hair for wigs also fetches quite a bit.) It's not exactly legal, I know, but it makes me feel better about all the Sues swamping Tortall.
No tea, thank you. Although, if you do find a badfic in which Dom falls in love with an OC or a really bad (as in magical powers, weird hair coloring, color-changing eyes, or a generic go-to-convent-become-a-beautiful-lady plot) Replacement!Sue of Kel it would be greatly appreciated by one of my agents. She'd just loooove to beat up anyone who trys to take Dom, aside from Canon Kel, of course. Then she only acts surly. Just a thought. -
Re; Actually.. by
on 2009-07-21 05:15:00 UTC
Link to this
Wow I never thought of it like that before. Amazing, it's such a nifty solution! I'd take that over losing an arm, a leg, and my most annoying sibling any day.
I haven't actually been reading any fics of Tortall so I'll take your word for it. Although it's a bit mindboggling. Tortall? Not that pure kingdom? Of admittedly good and bad but thusly balanced group? =(
Gotcher, I'll keep a sharp eye. XD Right, if there's so much as a whisper of a story you'll be the first one to know. -
Hello! *proffers plate of lembas* (nm) by
on 2009-07-20 16:27:00 UTC
Link to this
-
Re; Food by
on 2009-07-20 22:33:00 UTC
Link to this
LEMBAS!! I've always wondered how it tastes like. A cross between flatbread and danish? Or croissant and donut? YUM.
-
Hello~ by
on 2009-07-20 10:39:00 UTC
Link to this
I believe there were a few missions done in the Narutoverse a while back. I'm not sure if that writer is still with us though.
You seem to be newbie, so... *drags out Big Bag O' Links and digs through it*
First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).
I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.
For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago.What do you mean I'm exaggerating?The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.
Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here. -
Much Love! by
on 2009-07-20 10:55:00 UTC
Link to this
This is perfect, it's pretty much what I was looking for. I needed some background information and other miscellaneous matters. Couldn't find it though. Thanks!!
*carefully plops gray matter into jar with loose change*
Okay, I'm ready. Are the links to the Naruto Missions still up? I wish to read them too while I'm at it. It'll be good practice for when I start. I asked because, frankly it's indescribably bad. Naruto is synonymous with hell. Ish.
-
A great example of fail and a few questions... by
on 2009-07-20 21:25:00 UTC
Link to this
I just found a Suethor who made me laugh. Like crazy. Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/439684/Andciritien
It looks like a copy of one of the Badfic Game player's profiles. Seriously. All of her stuff deserves to be killed, from what I can tell.
While I'm at it, I also have a couple of questions.
- Can there be more than one OFU for a fandom?
- Are we allowed to PPC AUs? If we are, then how bad does it have to be? -
Eeeeyaghh! by
on 2009-07-21 01:12:00 UTC
Link to this
The Search For Vanwaithilien
(They found her locked in the old trunk in the attic, but by then she was only a skeleton...) -
Promise? by
on 2009-07-20 22:54:00 UTC
Link to this
Kill. It. With. Fire. I just read a few of the chapters and there has been nothing more stunningly paradoxical. And elfishness?
What. All it's missing is the extra s at the beginning. I find it hard to believe that this person has read the LOTR books...Hmph. -
Unfortunately, LotR isn't one of my main fandoms. by
on 2009-07-21 04:29:00 UTC
Link to this
I like LotR, but I don't know it well enough to really take down that fic. I might anyway. I would like to kill the Mary Sue in that Harry Potter one, though. How does Basilisk lunch sound, do you think?
-
Hmm... by
on 2009-07-21 05:27:00 UTC
Link to this
It sounds like a watching sport. Oh wait, the basilisk...Hmm. It's almost worth risking a peek. I like the way you think. ~____^
-
Well... by
on 2009-07-20 22:15:00 UTC
Link to this
No, there can only be one OFU per fandom. As for AUs... I think it's the same for non AU. If the characters are OOC or there are Mary Sues running around screwing things up, then it's not good. And it has to be a plausible AU. Like, not AU: Voldemort is good! or anything like that.
Vanwaithilien? Is this author kidding? I use the word 'author' in the loosest sense of the term. -
I see. by
on 2009-07-21 04:38:00 UTC
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The AU I'm speaking about quotes almost everything not related to the romance from the books. It's almost as if you have to have the books the fic is following with you so that you can read along. The pairing can be compared to a Draco/Hermione fic. It also describes one of my favorite heroines as having color-changing eyes. I just want to make sure that I can kill it before I fly into a rage and rant about it. The writing is pretty good, but the plot is awful. It ruins Protector of the Small, Tortall fans! Down with bad hate-love fanfics between enemies! I can't stand 'em.
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They did WHAT to Keladry?! by
on 2009-07-21 04:52:00 UTC
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Oh god, who was she paired with? Joren? Please say it's Joren. Then at least it's understandable because the poor boy's a fanmagnet. (If it's Vinson, Quinden, or Garvey, I'm committing harakiri.)
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Don't worry. by
on 2009-07-21 08:17:00 UTC
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It's our poor blonde pretty boy she's paired with. But that story has seriously pissed me off. I'm going to kill it as soon as I get around to my first few missions. It's a long story, so I need a few simpler ones first. Here's the link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4648148/1/The_Only_Volunteer
Some of the more notable quotes from it are:
- "Kel had lost control of her calm mask, and Joren found the show of emotion on her face very intriguing. He had discovered during their study times together that Kel's eyes became more green than brown when she was angry or excited. Right now there was only a thin ring of brown around the outer edges of her irises. Joren smiled widely, which only seemed to irritate Kel more and he watched as her eyes seemed to come to life with her anger."
(This made me want to vomit.)
- "As the 'best man'," Sir Paxton explained, "I am here to support Merovec and keep him calm, represent my father and vouch for Nond House's support of this marriage, sign the official documents, and certify that the marriage had been consummated. After that, the real festivities may begin."
Joren digested that last bit of information, "So you ... you have to watch them? And the feast has to wait until ... after?"
"Goddess, no!" Paxton laughed. "That was necessary back in the ancient days, when we had to steal our brides from their often disapproving families, but it's no longer required in these modern times. Thank all the gods that the only thing I must do is wait outside the bridal chamber. Mero will hand me the sheet afterward."
"The sheet?" Joren asked, feeling completely ignorant about the whole affair.
Paxton laughed some more. "Surely you know how ... certain things are done. The common folk are much less concerned about all this, but we nobles still like to verify that the bride was in fact a virgin at the time of the marriage. There will, of course be ... evidence."
Joren turned red with embarrassment. "I had no idea it would be like this."
"My father told me that when he married my mother, there was a Mithran priest behind a curtain in the room with them the entire time." Paxton shook his head at the memory. "Back then, he explained to me, the Daughters of the Goddess and their priestess would parade around with the blood-stained sheet and perform a little fertility dance before the feast could begin. Nowadays, all I have to do is show the sheet to the priest and then the young ladies will have their 'Maidens' Dance' to announce the happy occasion. It's much less embarrassing for everyone."
(This one is very lulz-worthy, "written" by "Joren".)
-"I was the only volunteer
To show you the palace ways;
You were the only volunteer
To help me write my essays.
When I saw you dressed as a lady -
Like all the others on a summer day,
I knew I could fall in love with you,
If you'd only let me say:
"Volunteer to leave your knight training
And volunteer to learn a lady's ways."
Then I will be the only volunteer
To love you for all of your days."
(It's hysterical and nauseating at the same time!)
(I added this one below because, although it's a bit more canonical than Mood Ring Color Eyes!Sue above, it made the Agent Sive part of me Bloodwrathy. Dom dueled with Joren
-----Spoiler Alert-----
in the fic to avenge what that bastard had done to Kel when she was a Fourth Year page about to become a squire. And she forgives Joren for sabotaging her tests a few days after she finds out who was on trial because Vinson was supposedly the main plotter in this fic and just needed money. Joren also wanted Kel to give up and become a lady. WTF? No one in their right mind would forgive Joren for doing such a thing, no matter what back story.)
- "Two minutes later, Joren performed an intricate twist and sweeping arc which sent Dom's practice blade flying into the sand. Kel was shocked when Lerant laughed and told her to look at the bright side - she hadn't lost any money on their bet and she'd be able to sit back and watch Raoul get his own revenge on the blond squire. His comment disturbed Kel so much that she went to Raoul before they headed out to the makeshift jousting lanes."
- "Relief washed over Joren when he realized that he truly was in the Living Realms. He'd made it back to the chapel. He'd survived his Ordeal! Severe pain made him wince as he brought his hands up to his face and he pressed his bloodied palms against his eyes to hold in the tears. He heard someone order him to lie still while the healer used his Gift to heal two cracked ribs and a severely bruised collarbone. Joren would need stitches to close up two small, but deep gashes, and time would heal everything else."
For the sake of sanity, I'll leave out the ones about the one time Neal and Kel kiss, poor Cleon gets neglected (he needs a bunch of hugs after I fix this), and Roald practically admits that he has a huge crush on her. I might be more paranoid than everyone else about these sort of stories, but to me, these deem it kill-worthy. I'm very biased against most enemies-become-lovers plots. I prefer canonical pairings, thank you. -
Re; What's the Godawful Pairing? by
on 2009-07-21 05:25:00 UTC
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I would be honored to hold back your hair, and pick up the pieces should it be any of the three. Do you have long hair?
Hope it is Joren, the others don't even make sense were they to pair with Kel. Ugh. -
It's Joren. by
on 2009-07-21 08:39:00 UTC
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Here's some nonsensical pairings, anyway, since you asked. The Ironic Overpower hates us all.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4401411/1/A_Matter_of_Honour
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3793910/1/Fate
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1262772/1/Cavalls_Heart
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2165496/1/YOU -
,,, by
on 2009-07-21 19:29:00 UTC
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I think part of my brain just exploded. And I'm not talking about the good kind of brain exploding that involves candy whenever I see a very fluffy kitten.
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My apologies. by
on 2009-07-22 03:16:00 UTC
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Might I recommend some super glue and bleepka to repair your brain? Those stories just bothered me, and I couldn't resist showing them to others.
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Re; Apologies by
on 2009-07-22 18:16:00 UTC
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Is unnecessary. I need occaisonal reminders for why I'm taking up the cause. ^__^ Something like that. Heh.
They weren't as bad as the really bad ones that all newbs try to read.
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Anyone want this Harry Potter badfic or can I take it? by
on 2009-07-20 22:44:00 UTC
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2165630/1/Black_Rose_of_the_Sea
Voldemort's-pseudo-orphan-daughter Sue, raised by Kreacher and the portrait of Mrs Black who are both inexplicably coherent in her presence. Her token flaw is that she nearly died from becoming depressed by the decor in the Black family house, apparently ... -
Take it. by
on 2009-07-21 07:00:00 UTC
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And dying from decor depression, besides being annoyinly alliterative, is just stupid.
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Beyond the Bounds of Plausible Fiction Hence, the Hunting by
on 2009-07-20 22:50:00 UTC
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How does that even work out? O__o
I'm curious to how you'll resolve it, and still a newb so can't really have a say...I think?