Jun 2009 Archive, part c

Don't know if I'll be able to make it for certain, but I should be able to. Will depend on trains and the like, whether I'm in Stoke or Derby at that point.

Still don't know where I'll be. Will still be in Hull unless I can get this damned personal statement done...

Go September rather than August though - if I do go I'll be going right at the end of August. And make it a weekend.

I've got no problems with that.

Kill, kill, kill! It's too bad that the story hasn't moved on. Who wants to bet that miss "Rainbow Eyes" ends up trying to get Briar or Pershan? (Though, if she does, I'll be inclined to donate a machete for her killing. Leave the Canon Characters alone, Suethors. Not that they listen.) Anyway, why are there all of these little archives for the Circle of Magic, Circle Opens, and Will of the Empress? There's already a Tamora Pierce archive...

Were failed attempts at writing accents.

I don't know the fandom, but it looks like a textbook Sue.

…but I do know that desolé(e) == "sorry".

Oh, and Scorpius' mother and Ron Weasley are ticked off over this NSFW story she faved:

Nirvana » by 66BlueBlood66 reviews
HG/DM smut Almost no story line
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,931 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 5-1-09 - Published: 4-25-08 - - Hermione G./Draco M. - Complete

Oh, that is truly bad. Freaking apostrophe name! At least the spelling and grammar are good, I suppose, but that's nowhere near enough to save it.

I do think that it's quite funny how she's busy going on about how cliches are bad, though. Irony, much?

Btw, whoever kills her (and good luck to you if it's you :D ) also needs to charge her with Einstein-bashing for calling him an 'idiot-savant' *growls*

*falls over laughing* I want to adopt him!

mini-Reapers (Torchwood): Own, own

Jammie? That's chuckle worthy.

Could everyone please make it a habit to clearly label which fandom these fics are from?

No offense meant to anyone, of course, but it's something of a time-waster to follow all the links and read posts only to find that there's nothing you can do about it anyway.

There's another similar site, MylifeisG.com, which is basically the same premise, if a little more down to earth and mundane. There's a lot of "OMG, the guy I like likes me!" Still, kind of cute, though sometimes the bitterness in me overwhelms it all. I still think FML is still more amusing, though.

My Life is Average (mlia.com) on the other hand, is just plain depressing and utterly boring.

http://snopes.com/glurge/price.asp

What is Sp'nüff(24)? I know RCs get some crazy numbers, but I've never heard of anything like that. Is it another language? Maybe some kind of advanced math thing?

~Neshomeh

(I keep thinking you're the Rosie we had on here a couple years ago, sorry)

Anyways, permission is definitely granted. I noticed that you offered concrit on the fic, which is definitely a good thing. Keep up the good work! (that you technically haven't really begun yet, but whatever)

Dammit, I'm gonna enjoy these once I earn my right! Have fun, everyone! ♥

Pidgin by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART

You want one? Some people expressed interest in getting one. If you wants one, Go ahead and download the picture for your own use. All I ask is that you link back to the original.

I'm going with Mini-Stormwings, because, well, yeah.

As to anyone who wants a Pidgin, just drop by RC Sp'Nüff(24), and pick one up. We've got lots. They followed us back through our portal, or something. Cute little things, kinda.... (In other words, just leave a comment on the mission log when I get around to posting it...)

Anyway, later!

Months and months ago and I'm pretty sure it was mini-Stormwings. But mini-Spidren is kind of cool too. Whatever folks decide.

It'll be fun to have around.

Though I've always thought a mini-...crap, what was her name? Ulua or something?

Mini-Chaos. But Stormwings work. I think my problem is that Stormwings aren't -evil-, really, just... tactless. And vicious. And, yes, a little brutal.

Is that a term similar to purple prose? In other words, overly elaborate speech to cover bad writing?

And... I'm sorry, I don't know. anything about it, so I'm afraid I can't do much.

Or possibly um...spidren? (Sorry, it's been a while since I last read these books, but hopefully you know what I'm talking about). There's not really much to choose between them, so I guess it's whichever one you prefer :D I quite like the idea of mini-Stormwings, myself.

Though my plan was to use clip art or stock art of some sort. I was actually in the middle of doing the DoSAT one a while back, but the Gimp crashed on me, so I have to start over. {= P

Incidentally, did you get my e-mail regarding timelines?

~Neshomeh

I just read the whole thing. I know you read it to me over the phone, but honestly, it was far worse to read. I am so sorry you ever were forced through that. But at least you put it to rights....I can almost sleep easy. And remind me, (should we ever enter zero gravity) to try to quickly saunter. But it was very funny. I giggled much.

The Tortall-verse is rife with such horrors, I know.

Just a minor nitpick: “Hello there,” she murmured, scratching it behind it’s ears. “What are we going to call you, hmmm?”

No apostrophe in the "its". That's a weird pronoun, but "it's" is only used for a contraction of "it" and "is." There is no apostrophe for making the pronoun possessive.

Other than that, good job. I'm not as familiar with the Provost's Dog series as any of her other Tortall works, but I do know that that version of Beka is about as OOC as it gets. Nice kill.

There's a whole slew of badfic to wade through in the Tortallverse. Well done with this one and good luck on further missions.

Can I have two?

The mission was very amusing, aside from the fact that the author who wrote the badfic obviously hadn't proofread her work. The Pigins seem cute. I'd like one for my agents, if possible. (I would mention the existence of a Pigin in their RC as a snippet between the first and second missions, as soon as I get around to writing them. That is, if you don't mind your Agents being mentioned as the ones who gave the Pigin.) Congrats on your first mission!

I've never heard of the fandom, but it was a pretty entertaining mission, if a bit odd with the Agent(s?). Seems like it could be a really good spinoff given time, keep up the good work.

Not for any Agents, for myself. Is that fine? Oh, and do Pidgins show the ability to learn simplified mash-ups of different languages?

And any Pidgins that don't find homes are welcome at the Cute Animal Friend Adoption Agency :D

Say he with no AFF access.

Adultfanfiction.net is pretty much an unending carnival of horrors. If the PPC had any form of "kill-everything" weapon, I would warrant its use on that wretched place.

I've only seen the first Toby Maguire movie, and that was a while ago. However, you could search for the relevant media wiki - there almost certainly is one - and have a read there. It may not help you too much with OOC charges, but you'll get a lot of the facts straight.

Sorry I can't help :(

What the...? Wifebeating!Rhys? Aaaarrgh...

Nice job killing it :)

*wanders off to gibber in a corner*

…the Mirror Multiverse episode was New Year's Day.

That's bad. Very bad.
Speaking of other truly horrible Harry Potter badfics, I think this one deserves a Legendary Badfic or at least a troll nomination. It's been reloaded too many times.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4710827/1/Imma_Wiserd_by_raveneagle

I think I have the other chapters from one of the earlier reloadings saved on a flash drive somewhere.

Badfic never dies. Yay for Chick wannabes!

...when the first review on a fic is its own author praising it to the high heavens :P

The trouble with that fic is that we decided not to go meddling with religious matters after hS PPC'd that Bible fanfic awhile back. At the time, we felt like it wasn't worth possibly offending people about aforementioned religious matters.

On the other hand, maybe that discussion can be re-opened. For my part, as long as the thing is handled with some regard for people's sensibilities, I have no problem with it. I figure it's the same as Bad Slash: there's nothing wrong with being gay, but if the characters being slashed aren't, and it's not handled well, it's bad writing. In the same way, there's nothing wrong with religion, but if the character "turning to the Lord" has no real reason to do so--having not been noticeably anti-religious or evil to begin with, in this case--then it's out of character.

~Neshomeh

Am I the only one who's glad he died? In my opinion, cardiac arrest wasn't a quick enough end.

I think it's tragic. I can't say I ever really loved him, but I did respect him. Even pitied him when he hated himself so much he would twist and mutilate his body to be someone he wasn't.
But I do think it's awful that the same people who constantly cracked jokes about him now pretend he was their idol. It really isn't fair. Poor Man...

Ain't that sad? I'm getting my news through devArt now. Well, I was never a big fan, but my support goes out to both his family and his fanbase.

Since I have no control over a computer breaking, however, I still want to say "hi". Here's a fancy fire-proof shield from the Raven Armory. (I don't know if they actually sell fire-proof shields, but just in case they do... Maybe they had enlisted help from a mage?)

here is some C4. blease don;t use it to kill anyone. it makes a nice fire when you light it.

Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have much use for it here. Also, here's a life-size cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen and some matches. You know what to do.
-Mad Maudlin

Have a shapeshifting plushie.

I come back from a 25-mile backpacking trip just in time to greet the newbie!

Welcome! Hello! Hi! Are you insane? I hope you are. It's a bit of a requirement here.

I gift you with a bottle of Bleepka and a sock full of rocks!

Very useful.

I'm sure you've already been told all you need to know, so I'll just offer a friendly but uselessly undefined warning about the floor. Beware the floor. Have a nice day.

:)

Hello dahlink... *scritches you about the ears*

I'll get you all shown around later, right now I have to help mother doing things to get ready for Fair. Remember, we need you by the second at the latest.

*huggles*

And no worries that we're not a matched set, dear. I was kinda worried that Lyo would be a bit too much of a Sue to survive here... (Though former Sues do sometimes find homes here.... Muahaahaahah...)

Welcome, welcome! Have an incredibly racist chainsaw!

Yay for siblings! Here, have an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and spambots, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. ^_^

*poke*

Welcome a'Board! Required reading includes the Original Series and the Board Constitution, but I imagine your friends have told you that already and can show you where to find said required reading. {= )

In the meantime, you use some emoticons with which I'm not familiar. Could you explain owo and >w
~Neshomeh

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or Response Center?

This one is Russian, 110m long, and very fast. Have fun with her and mind the parking spots, she's not that easy to park. And be careful: she's a he.

Welcome to the PPC. Here, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

Lovely to have you here. ^_^

greetings from the Planet Zog. Our people welcome you and hope you value your time here.

However, currently looking through the Pit for it, just in case.

Can I have Natahniel? Whatever he is? (Don't know what Bartimaeus Trilogy-minis are.)

I probably shouldn't be so surprised or horrified, but...you've got a GREAT UNCLEAN ONE as an Agent? O.O

Sorry, I just...wow.

Warning added. The Hyacinth's lines italicized. And you're right, I do need a beta, but I'm not exactly sure how to get one. I generally proofread these things, but I guess some bits can slip through the cracks.

As to attacking LJ-based fic, Pottersues sporked this guy, so I thought it was safe for me to do so, as well.

I'm sorry, but I really don't think the Hyacinth's incompetent enough to mistake a canon character for an intern. Also doubt she'd let them stay in HQ past whatever reason they're there for (usually Medical or a FicPsych stay).

I don't even know how to say this.

First off, I don't think we should be attacking things posted on people's personal journals. I remember this topic coming up a long time ago, when someone brought up a community started by badfic authors on LJ which wouldn't allow anyone non-approved in. Someone (I want to say Huinesoron, but I'm not sure) pointed out this was what people were supposed to do: put their stuff on private communities, unless they wanted it reviewed. Yes, his stuff sucks, but it's not on The Pit, or any communities that I can see, so why bother? His fics are an abomination, yes, but what he does on his Livejournal is his business.

Secondly, a warning would be nice.

Thirdly... Um, did you have a beta for this? It's generally Strongly Recommended. Anyway, yeah.

The total lack of warning is so not on at all.

Missions?

Are generally clean for the most part, or have some sort of warning.

Also? A Beta? Get one.

To be honest, I didn't like this at all for the above reasons and some of what Neshomeh herself pointed out.

... A warning about the M-rated nature of these things would probably be a good idea in the future.

I've seen some crude rude stuff before, but I think the comparison of the "trail of tears" takes the cake. *gags*

A few technical details. First of all, the Plants speak telepathically, which is usually rendered in italics, not quotation marks. Second, you left the N out of Hyacinth a few times, as well as a few other miscellaneous spelling and punctuation oopses. Third, did you really mean for the CAD to say "Watch out for hundred-food [censored]"? And, if so, why didn't that appear on the charge list? O.o;

I am both curious and afraid to find out what the next missions hold in store for Winston and Chliever.

~Neshomeh, who half expects to see them and Eponine in FicPsych before long.

I think I need to swear. I really, REALLY need to swear. Here goes.

What the SH*T!

That second one makes me want to slaughter things. C-can I have the third one? Please?

WTF?

Have these authors never read Watership down?

I take it you've never read The Crossbearer, then.

Kffff.

I remember loving Animorphs! Hee.

Poor Ilraen. Hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon.

that's kind of adorable :)

That is all.

... so no trying to pat her without warning, no trying to take away whatever she's playing with, and no reminding her of the events which resulted in her arriving at the PPC in the first place - but the nursery kids probably know that it's not polite to ask about Sue-kids' parents, so that's okay. She does want other kids to play with rather than to eat, so they're probably safer than the adults.