Jun 2009 Archive, part c

  • Gathering: last week in August/first week in September work? by Laburnum on 2009-06-22 02:51:00 UTC Link to this

    Just trying to hash out a date in plenty of time. If everyone wants to do the karaoke bar, it needs to be booked well in advance, so we need to pick a date fairly soon. First week in September is looking good so far. Are there any dates anyone absolutely can't do?

    • Sounds good by Ansela on 2009-06-24 17:45:00 UTC Link to this

      Don't know if I'll be able to make it for certain, but I should be able to. Will depend on trains and the like, whether I'm in Stoke or Derby at that point.

      • Re: Sounds good by Pads on 2009-06-25 12:52:00 UTC Link to this

        You're doing proper uni, dear, you'll still be in Derby. Your freshers' week starts on the twenty first.

    • Re: Gathering: last week in August/first week in September work? by Pads on 2009-06-24 16:07:00 UTC Link to this

      Still don't know where I'll be. Will still be in Hull unless I can get this damned personal statement done...

      Go September rather than August though - if I do go I'll be going right at the end of August. And make it a weekend.

      • First Saturday in September work? by Laburnum on 2009-06-24 16:58:00 UTC Link to this

        That'd make it the fifth.

        • Re: First Saturday in September work? by Pads on 2009-06-25 12:50:00 UTC Link to this

          I'll give it a tentative yes, dependent on what happens over the next month or so. If I'm going I'll be there by then, put it that way. And if I'm not, it's only a fiver on the bus. It's just that the weekend previous I'd likely be moving if the Plan works.

    • Far as I know, that's a great time for me. by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2009-06-22 13:13:00 UTC Link to this

      I've got no problems with that.

  • *eyes a fic with contempt* *headwall* by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-22 08:46:00 UTC Link to this

    So. While wandering about The Pit, I stumbled upon this:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4838206/1/Desolee

    The protagonist is a blatant Sue under the Oh So Average American name of Desole'e Litu'an. She has "Rainbow eyes" and long black hair (that it hurts her to cut, literally), and, oh, the angst, cannot speak.

    And, for once, I am annoyed that there isn't more to the story, because to the point that it's been written, it hasn't entered the Canon which she's destined to fall into from the Real World.

    Which means we can't kill her yet...

    *Lurks around the page for it to update so she can pounce with a large hammer*

    Just felt I had to share my frustration/agony with the rest of you...

    • Stupid Sues. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 00:25:00 UTC Link to this

      Kill, kill, kill! It's too bad that the story hasn't moved on. Who wants to bet that miss "Rainbow Eyes" ends up trying to get Briar or Pershan? (Though, if she does, I'll be inclined to donate a machete for her killing. Leave the Canon Characters alone, Suethors. Not that they listen.) Anyway, why are there all of these little archives for the Circle of Magic, Circle Opens, and Will of the Empress? There's already a Tamora Pierce archive...

      • Re: Stupid Sues. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 00:47:00 UTC Link to this

        Basically, the reason that there are all these little one-story archives is because the authors are Stupid. I'm guessing that yes, she's going to go after Briar. Which will be amusing to watch. In the most sickening manner.

        • Poor Briar. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 03:40:00 UTC Link to this

          I wish that once, just once, that fangirls would write a fanfic about their LO, without having someone fall in love with them. Or maybe they shouldn't write at all. I really hate these uncanonical romance books that mess with the characters. I sorta want to yell at the writers, "Leave the characters alone!"

          • Slight objection by Ansela on 2009-06-23 11:07:00 UTC Link to this

            I'm a fangirl, to the point of degenerating into loud squeeing and repetitions of a name(s) at times, and I don't write fics where my LOs fall in love with anyone, let alone a Sue.

            I do have a disturbing tendency to take my favourite characters and write them in dubiously consensual, or completely non-consensual, slashy situations though.

            • Oh. by Anonymous on 2009-06-23 15:27:00 UTC Link to this

              Sorry. I guess I meant the Suethor kind of fangirl. I just hate to see the characters from my books turned silly and lovesick for any Sue (or Stu) that happens to walk past them. I don't mind them writing about the Canon, but when they start writing in Sues/Stus and completely change the Canon Character's personalities, that's where I draw the line. No offense intended for the fangirls that don't write about Sues and Stus.

              • *murders enter key* The reply above was from me, by the way. (nm by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 15:29:00 UTC Link to this
    • I'm guessing the apostrophes... by Tomato on 2009-06-22 16:15:00 UTC Link to this

      Were failed attempts at writing accents.

      I don't know the fandom, but it looks like a textbook Sue.

      • Re: I'm guessing the apostrophes... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-22 22:00:00 UTC Link to this

        I had that thought on the apostrophes as well, but... Still. If you don't know how to do accents, don't use them.

        And I know the fandom. If this is going to be set there, she's going to have to drop into the Canon. And no one in Canon has "Rainbow eyes"...

        She has the typical 'Poor little rich girl' problem... *sigh*

    • I don't know the fandomÂ… by Tawaki on 2009-06-22 15:29:00 UTC Link to this

      …but I do know that desolé(e) == "sorry".

      Oh, and Scorpius' mother and Ron Weasley are ticked off over this NSFW story she faved:

      Nirvana » by 66BlueBlood66 reviews
      HG/DM smut Almost no story line
      Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,931 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 5-1-09 - Published: 4-25-08 - - Hermione G./Draco M. - Complete

      • Re: I don't know the fandomÂ… by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-22 21:17:00 UTC Link to this

        I know the fandom. It's one of my favorites, in fact. Right up there with Tolkien and Megan Whalen Turner. And I can already tell where this is going to lead.

        Her profile informs us that she's a virginal nymphomaniac (*Eyeroll*) who loves smutfic.... *sigh* If she goes after Briar I'm going to go ballistic... I can already think of several pleasing ways to do this deed... *waits*

        • Tamora Pierce fans... by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 00:39:00 UTC Link to this

          I'm one. I'm more of a Tortall person, but I'm a mild fan of the Emelan books. She better not go after Briar. He's not my LO, but he deserves protections from Sues. I don't want him to become Emelan's variant of Sirius. Like I said, if the person updates and you want to kill this one, I will gladly donate a machete to the cause. Or a weed whacker...

          • Re: Tamora Pierce fans... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 00:42:00 UTC Link to this

            Oh, I already have plans regarding Bleeprin and a bottle of Stuff. But I'll use your machete as well. It would be cruel to take a weed whacker if she's after Briar, remember. Plants and all...

            • Good point. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 03:35:00 UTC Link to this

              Briar might not know what it is, though... Never mind. I'll just suggest the machete.

              • Or! by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 05:19:00 UTC Link to this

                I could try to figure out a way to schlep her back in time and give her Blue Pox if she likes Emelan so much, but... Machete is more to the point. And a trifle more satisfying/definite....

    • Re: *eyes a fic with contempt* *headwall* by tabbycat on 2009-06-22 12:00:00 UTC Link to this

      Oh, that is truly bad. Freaking apostrophe name! At least the spelling and grammar are good, I suppose, but that's nowhere near enough to save it.

      I do think that it's quite funny how she's busy going on about how cliches are bad, though. Irony, much?

      Btw, whoever kills her (and good luck to you if it's you :D ) also needs to charge her with Einstein-bashing for calling him an 'idiot-savant' *growls*

      • Re: *eyes a fic with contempt* *headwall* by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-22 21:10:00 UTC Link to this

        Oh, I have every intent of killing her dead as soon as possible. And oh yeah. She's getting a fencing sabre to the throat for calling our Cute Eccentric Swiss Patent Clerk an 'idiot-savant'. Or possibly a fountain pen. *waits patiently*

        • Re: *eyes a fic with contempt* *headwall* by tabbycat on 2009-06-23 12:28:00 UTC Link to this

          Unfortunately, I don't think that posting a review saying "please hurry up and write some more, so I can kill your character in an extremely nasty manner" will have quite the desired response, somehow. Pity :P

          Now I'm trying to think of some sort of relativity-appropriate death for her (although in saying that, I'm sure she's going to do much worse than slandering Einstein, sooner or later). Maybe portalling her to the vicinity of a black hole would be fun - she could learn about the process of spaghettification...very briefly, that is. *evil grin*

          Oh, and judging by the way she's pushing the 'I'm adopted' line, what are the odds she turns out to be the relative of a canon character sent to our world somehow for reasons of Melodrama?

          • I'm liking... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 20:24:00 UTC Link to this

            This idea I got from a third-grade science experiment. You know, the one where you take some vinagre in a coke bottle, put baking soda in a coffee filter and wrap it up tight, put the filter in the coke bottle with the vinagre, and then put a balloon over it to watch it expand?

            Well.

            Replace baking soda with crushed Bleeprin. Replace vinagre with Pink Stuff (Or Purple Stuff, for that matter). Hand to Sue. Run away (or perhaps portal to a safe distance) quickly. Enjoy the show.

            Mayhap I won't use that on HER if someone can come up with something better, but... You know. Some time, it has to be done.

          • Very, very high. by Buta on 2009-06-23 15:13:00 UTC Link to this

            Textbook Sue, so I'm guessing yes, she is. If it somehow turns out that she has a relationship with that character, especially a smutty one, then this fic will deserve much more than death.

            • Aaagh... by tabbycat on 2009-06-23 15:37:00 UTC Link to this

              ...don't say that! You're tempting fate! :P

  • Proposing character names. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-22 18:52:00 UTC Link to this

    Specifically:

    - Dr. Philip Freedenberg
    - Head Nurse Suzine Sachs

    I ask input from the Board because neither character was invented by me and their creators aren't around anymore. So, comments? Questions? Objections?

    ~Neshomeh

    • Thirded. "Philip Freedenberg" has a nice ring to it. (nm) by Anonymous on 2009-06-23 08:41:00 UTC Link to this
    • I'll support it. (nm) by WarriorJoe on 2009-06-23 06:27:00 UTC Link to this
    • Don't see why not. :) (nm) by Sedri on 2009-06-22 23:53:00 UTC Link to this
    • No objections from me (nm) by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-22 21:32:00 UTC Link to this
  • Minis! by Tawaki on 2009-06-22 19:27:00 UTC Link to this

    mini-Rancor:
    Tsavong Hal

    mini-Reapers:
    Vestrin, Jammie MacCrimmon, Harrison Case, Bon Liner

    mini-Reavers:
    Teaver, the Iperative

    mini-Valahgua (DragonBack):
    Taneme, Her Thimbleness

    • Tsavong Hal? by Buta on 2009-06-23 15:11:00 UTC Link to this

      *falls over laughing* I want to adopt him!

      • Go ahead. Help yourself. (nm) by Tawaki on 2009-06-23 15:39:00 UTC Link to this
    • More minis by IndeMaat on 2009-06-22 21:56:00 UTC Link to this

      mini-Reapers (Torchwood): Own, own

      Jammie? That's chuckle worthy.

      • And two more ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-23 00:49:00 UTC Link to this

        Mini-Golgothans (Dogma): Bartelby, Meditron.

        • Meditron? by Neshomeh on 2009-06-23 07:24:00 UTC Link to this

          Sounds like a robot that might be able to get a job in the Medical Department. {= P

          ~Neshomeh

          • Doubt it if it's a Mini-Golgothan ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-23 12:46:00 UTC Link to this

            The Golgothan in the movie is a walking pile of sewage. It makes sense in context.

            The misspelled character in that case was "Metatron", the angel who acts as the Voice of God since humans aren't built to survive hearing God actually speak. ("We went through five Adams before we figured that out ...")

  • Agh, looks like the Bad Slash dept has some more work ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-22 20:57:00 UTC Link to this

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4644157/1/A_New_Way

    Okay, we don't know about the potential for homophobia among Mossflower's woodlanders because Western kids' books tend not to go into much detail in that area, so I can buy that such goings-on would be ignored if not accepted, but I really doubt that they'd be even remotely accepting of a relationship between a squirrel and a stoat. Seriously, Rusvul Reguba was kind of a jerk for most of the book, but he would NOT be wrong to be unhappy that his son was banging somebeast who, as far as he knows, could EAT HIM. And I really have a hard time imagining that anybeast else in the Abbey would be as happy about it as they seem to be here!

    • Can I ask a general favour regarding badfic posts? by Sedri on 2009-06-22 23:40:00 UTC Link to this

      Could everyone please make it a habit to clearly label which fandom these fics are from?

      No offense meant to anyone, of course, but it's something of a time-waster to follow all the links and read posts only to find that there's nothing you can do about it anyway.

      • Ah, sorry - makes sense. (This fic is Redwall.) (nm) by Laburnum on 2009-06-22 23:52:00 UTC Link to this
        • Cheers. :) (nm) by Sedri on 2009-06-23 00:03:00 UTC Link to this
  • OT: GivesMeHope.com by Sedri on 2009-06-22 23:48:00 UTC Link to this

    Plugging a lovely if utterly un-PPC-like website called Gives Me Hope .Com.

    It's basically a reservoir for uplifting stories about the lovely things people do for each other - big and small. Reading a few of these every day could, I think, make everyone in this world just a little more optimistic. And just to prove that I'm a softie, this one made me cry:

    A boy was dying of cancer and needed an expensive brain surgery, but his family, broke and desperate, couldn't afford it. His eight year old took sister Tess took her piggy bank savings to a pharmacist in order to buy a 'miracle'. It just so happens that the right man witnessed the little girl's tears at the pharmacy counter: a neurosurgeon. He performed the surgery for free.

    • Re: OT: GivesMeHope.com by Paladin on 2009-06-23 05:54:00 UTC Link to this

      There's another similar site, MylifeisG.com, which is basically the same premise, if a little more down to earth and mundane. There's a lot of "OMG, the guy I like likes me!" Still, kind of cute, though sometimes the bitterness in me overwhelms it all. I still think FML is still more amusing, though.

      My Life is Average (mlia.com) on the other hand, is just plain depressing and utterly boring.

    • Sorry to be a skeptic... by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-23 00:58:00 UTC Link to this

      http://snopes.com/glurge/price.asp

      • Frankly, I don't much care. by Sedri on 2009-06-23 04:24:00 UTC Link to this

        No offense, of course, but it's the sentiment that counts, not the veracity. And anyway, it was jut an example. Most of the stories there are in first person and somewhat more reliable.

        • Ah well. (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-29 00:51:00 UTC Link to this
  • Paging Permission Givers by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 00:23:00 UTC Link to this

    I've been hanging about the Board Lurking for quite some time (Stumbled across this place some time last year), and started posting here a little over a month ago.

    I was going to wait a little longer before asking Permission, but then I stumbled upon this rather terrible Tamora Pierce Fic ( http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5035998/1/i_kissed_the_rogue ) and have been itching to kill it since then.

    In any case, I am hereby requesting the use of RC Sp'nüff(24) for Agent Rose/Ross of the Department of Floaters.

    Quick Bio:
    Agent Rose/Ross is a cheerfully blatant Author Insert. She makes no bones about it, and is in fact rather proud of the fact. She is quick to smile, and quicker to apologize for anything, regardless of it having been her fault or not. (“It’s raining out.” “I’m sorry…”)

    In her brief history in the Department of Floaters, Rose/Ross has been through three partners, the last one of whom retired, probably directly due to Rose/Ross.

    Agent Rose/Ross’s favored weapons include a fountain pen with a turned wooden handle called Whatthehell, a fencing Sabre named Ow, and a large rawhide mallet dubbed Beatsthings.

    Rose/Ross hales from the Real World, supposedly from a Bass Akwards town in Washington State with more cows than people.

    The reason for the slash in her name is this: Agent Rose/Ross does not suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. She enjoys every minute of it. So does her twin brother, with whom she shares her body. Little is yet known about the brother, Ross, save that he exists, and that he is rather deadly with their fountain pen.

    And a link to a full Bio/description: http://dawnbluewings.livejournal.com/28198.html

    Also, a link to a Writing Sample:
    http://dawnbluewings.livejournal.com/28612.html

    And as I said at the top, I wish to tackle the Tamora Pierce fic "i kissed the rogue", found here:
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5035998/1/i_kissed_the_rogue

    So. Thank you for your attention.
    ~Rosie Azrael

    • Out of curiosity... by Neshomeh on 2009-06-24 02:41:00 UTC Link to this

      What is Sp'nüff(24)? I know RCs get some crazy numbers, but I've never heard of anything like that. Is it another language? Maybe some kind of advanced math thing?

      ~Neshomeh

      • Re: Out of curiosity... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 20:09:00 UTC Link to this

        Sp'nüff(24) is a joke with several friends of mine regarding the fact that one of them once accused me of eating the number 24. Therefore, we had to replace it with another number. So it goes 20, 21, 22, 23, Sp'nüff, 25, 26...

        Basically: Campout. Three teenaged girls. The wrapper for a package of batteries mixed in with the wrappers to kit-kat bars and granola bars. A wannabe archeologist examining the sedimentary layers in our trashbag. Everything else in there had been eaten, so obviously 24 (the only thing visible on the package when she looked) had been eaten as well....

        Basic strangeness, really, is all it boils down to.

    • Permission granted. by Techno-Dann on 2009-06-23 04:24:00 UTC Link to this

      (I keep thinking you're the Rosie we had on here a couple years ago, sorry)

      Anyways, permission is definitely granted. I noticed that you offered concrit on the fic, which is definitely a good thing. Keep up the good work! (that you technically haven't really begun yet, but whatever)

      • Excellent! by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 05:12:00 UTC Link to this

        Many, many thanks!

        And I intend to at least try to offer some concrit on fics that aren't TOO bad, if I find them.

        Now, to go kill that thing very, very dead... Muahahhahaah.... *wanders away*

  • New mission is now up! Potterverse this time ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-23 01:34:00 UTC Link to this

    Back to a good old grassroots mission, just like everyone's been complaining we don't have enough of anymore!

    http://chelonianmobile.livejournal.com/74620.html

    Rated PG-13 for one dirty joke, but mostly PG-level, because I wanted to practice doing non-R-rated missions again. Enjoy.

    • Re: New mission is now up! Potterverse this time ... by Seranis on 2009-06-23 13:54:00 UTC Link to this

      Dammit, I'm gonna enjoy these once I earn my right! Have fun, everyone! ♥

  • A Mini Question. Specifically Tortall-Minis... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 05:42:00 UTC Link to this

    The fic I'm in the process of killing right now is a Tamora Pierce fic of the Tortall universe. I have thus far run into two Minis in it, but... I have no idea what shape they are. There's nothing anywhere that I can find regarding Tortall-Minis, and I was thinking, Mini-Stormwings?

    Anyone else familiar with the fandom have any input? Anyone who's previously found a Tortall-Mini here to correct me?

    Also, would anyone like a 'Pidgin'? I think they're about the shape of a Pigeon, only black, leathery, and covered in broken spelling and grammar in silver script... And I run into a whole load of them in this fic. So if anyone would like me to grab one for them...

    • Pidgins... by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 20:43:00 UTC Link to this


      Pidgin
      by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART

      You want one? Some people expressed interest in getting one. If you wants one, Go ahead and download the picture for your own use. All I ask is that you link back to the original.

    • Thanks, folks! :) by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 18:32:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm going with Mini-Stormwings, because, well, yeah.

      As to anyone who wants a Pidgin, just drop by RC Sp'Nüff(24), and pick one up. We've got lots. They followed us back through our portal, or something. Cute little things, kinda.... (In other words, just leave a comment on the mission log when I get around to posting it...)

      Anyway, later!

    • We had this discussion a while back. by Helen of Pylos on 2009-06-23 18:26:00 UTC Link to this

      Months and months ago and I'm pretty sure it was mini-Stormwings. But mini-Spidren is kind of cool too. Whatever folks decide.

    • I'll take a pidgin. by Buta on 2009-06-23 15:34:00 UTC Link to this

      It'll be fun to have around.

    • Stormwings, I think. by Vixenmage on 2009-06-23 14:26:00 UTC Link to this

      Though I've always thought a mini-...crap, what was her name? Ulua or something?

      Mini-Chaos. But Stormwings work. I think my problem is that Stormwings aren't -evil-, really, just... tactless. And vicious. And, yes, a little brutal.

      • There's an unfinished OFU-Academy... by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-23 15:45:00 UTC Link to this

        But there's only three chapters of it, and it hasn't been updated in about five years. I always thought that the Mini-Stormwings were a bit odd. As to Mini-Chaos, (courtesy of Uusoae), I wish that would work. Or maybe Mini-Hurroks, Mini-Skinners, or Mini-Ysandir. Could I have a pidgin?

    • Silver Script? by Seranis on 2009-06-23 13:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Is that a term similar to purple prose? In other words, overly elaborate speech to cover bad writing?

      And... I'm sorry, I don't know. anything about it, so I'm afraid I can't do much.

      • Re: Silver Script? by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 18:15:00 UTC Link to this

        Technically, I think that Silver Script is the Handwriting Evil Cousin to Purple Prose.

        You know how an eleven-year-old will practice her cursive for hours on end, and then when called on misspelling her own name will insist that it doesn't matter because "It looks pretty!"? Or maybe you don't... Anyway, I've tutored too many eleven-year-old girls, thus I've been subjected to this many times.

        But that's what Silver Script is. Pidgins are covered in Cursive so elaborate that you can barely read what it says.

        • Re: Silver Script? by Seranis on 2009-06-24 13:17:00 UTC Link to this

          .....YUCK.

          Yeah, I've seen that. I never had that problem as a kid, though. I always believed that it's an ugly, pointless way to write that makes it harder to read whatever you put down on paper. And what's worse, kids keep writing like that.

          And if someone writes me a note in cursive I have a tendency of grabbing them and making them write it again. BUT THAT'S JUST ME.

          • Urgh... by Buta on 2009-06-24 17:47:00 UTC Link to this

            Never liked writing or reading in cursive. I think people should just write normally because it's more readable and practical, really. Easier on both the writer and the eyes. I don't really care about how to use it, to the point that I can't sign my name. No big loss though.

            • Re: Urgh... by Seranis on 2009-06-25 13:35:00 UTC Link to this

              Me too! I just add a few curly bits to my name and call it a day. XD

    • Stormwings sound good by tabbycat on 2009-06-23 12:06:00 UTC Link to this

      Or possibly um...spidren? (Sorry, it's been a while since I last read these books, but hopefully you know what I'm talking about). There's not really much to choose between them, so I guess it's whichever one you prefer :D I quite like the idea of mini-Stormwings, myself.

      • Re: Stormwings sound good by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 18:21:00 UTC Link to this

        Also, Mini-Stormwings might be Quite Useful, what with the being basically flying, walking bundles of razor-blades... *feeds a Sue to the pair she found in this mission*

  • A request by Tawaki on 2009-06-23 15:57:00 UTC Link to this

    Could someone please draw up the flashpatches for Temporal Offenses and DoSAT? I'd do it if I could draw better.

    • On it. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-23 16:57:00 UTC Link to this

      Though my plan was to use clip art or stock art of some sort. I was actually in the middle of doing the DoSAT one a while back, but the Gimp crashed on me, so I have to start over. {= P

      Incidentally, did you get my e-mail regarding timelines?

      ~Neshomeh

      • Was it recent? by Tawaki on 2009-06-23 17:01:00 UTC Link to this

        If so, I don't think I did.

        • It was a couple of weeks ago. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-23 18:14:00 UTC Link to this

          I'll try sending it again. Your e-mail is the same, right?

          ~Neshomeh

          • CorrectamundoÂ… by Tawaki on 2009-06-23 18:19:00 UTC Link to this

            …a word I've never used before and hope never to use again.

            • And the DTO patch is up. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-24 02:36:00 UTC Link to this

              I had the hardest time finding a usable piece of clip art. {= P I hope it works for you.

              ~Neshomeh, who spent a ridiculous amount of time doing pixel-by-pixel clean-up.

            • Sent. Also, DoSAT patch is done and about to go on the Wiki. (nm by Neshomeh on 2009-06-23 19:25:00 UTC Link to this
  • Mission Up: A Tortallverse horror. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-23 22:40:00 UTC Link to this

    http://dawnbluewings.livejournal.com/28757.html

    Here you go. Thought I would share that. The first logged mission of Agent Rose/Ross, including, but not limited to: A rather OOC Beka Cooper, hideous abuse of language and punctuation, two Minis, and some Pidgins. You know you want a Pidgin...

    • My brain hurts.. by Maya De'Lune on 2009-06-26 06:47:00 UTC Link to this

      I just read the whole thing. I know you read it to me over the phone, but honestly, it was far worse to read. I am so sorry you ever were forced through that. But at least you put it to rights....I can almost sleep easy. And remind me, (should we ever enter zero gravity) to try to quickly saunter. But it was very funny. I giggled much.

    • Good mission! by Vixenmage on 2009-06-25 06:14:00 UTC Link to this

      The Tortall-verse is rife with such horrors, I know.

      Just a minor nitpick: “Hello there,” she murmured, scratching it behind it’s ears. “What are we going to call you, hmmm?”

      No apostrophe in the "its". That's a weird pronoun, but "it's" is only used for a contraction of "it" and "is." There is no apostrophe for making the pronoun possessive.

      Other than that, good job. I'm not as familiar with the Provost's Dog series as any of her other Tortall works, but I do know that that version of Beka is about as OOC as it gets. Nice kill.

      • Re: Good mission! by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 07:40:00 UTC Link to this

        Ack! I know the thing with its and it's, really I do!

        Well then. Must remember to proofread six times while awake after finishing a mission at four in the morning, not just five...

        Thanks for catching that!

        And yeah... Guh. (even the idea that she would answer a summons like that is... special.)

    • Good Job by Helen of Pylos on 2009-06-25 05:52:00 UTC Link to this

      There's a whole slew of badfic to wade through in the Tortallverse. Well done with this one and good luck on further missions.

      • *Raises hand also* by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-25 08:32:00 UTC Link to this

        If you come across any Tortallverse badslash, I'll volunteer to take a look. I have generally avoided Tortall fandom cos there have to be some continuua I keep unsullied in my head, but this has reminded me that I have a Duty ...

        ... and also I'm a bit worried that there might be Dom/Neal out there ... erk.

      • Re: Good Job by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 07:44:00 UTC Link to this

        Should you encounter any Tortallverse Badfic you should wish to fling my way, I count myself as being pretty fluent in the fandom... and have a strong stomach. I just found and am killing a rather horrible Garth Nix fic which made one of my friends roll on the ground wailing....

        And I'm always looking for more things to kill.

    • On the handing out of Pidgins by Tirya_Moonflame on 2009-06-24 20:54:00 UTC Link to this

      Can I have two?

      • Your Pidgins by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 20:47:00 UTC Link to this


        Pidgin
        by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART
        Pidgin
        by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART

        :P

        You can use the picture for whatever you want, provided you put a link back to the original/give credit. You know, basic Netiquette.

      • Re: On the handing out of Pidgins by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-24 21:16:00 UTC Link to this

        Sure! Would you like them giftwrapped, or just boxed up and shipped? Or would you prefer to come pick them up yourself?

        • That depends. How sparkly is your wrapping paper? (nm) by Tirya_Moonflame on 2009-06-25 20:47:00 UTC Link to this
    • Could I have a Pigin? by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-24 17:04:00 UTC Link to this

      The mission was very amusing, aside from the fact that the author who wrote the badfic obviously hadn't proofread her work. The Pigins seem cute. I'd like one for my agents, if possible. (I would mention the existence of a Pigin in their RC as a snippet between the first and second missions, as soon as I get around to writing them. That is, if you don't mind your Agents being mentioned as the ones who gave the Pigin.) Congrats on your first mission!

      • Your Pidgin... Here it is. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-26 00:15:00 UTC Link to this


        Pidgin
        by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART

        Feel free to use the image for whatever you feel like, so long as you use basic Netiquette and do the linkback/credit thing.

      • Re: Could I have a Pigin? by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-24 21:09:00 UTC Link to this

        Sure, of course you can have a Pidgin. There are far too many in the RC right now...

        The sad thing about that mission was that the author threw out the standard "im dyslexic dont poke me!" in her profile. Not an excuse. I'M dyslexic, and you don't see me creating 'doard's.... *sigh* Dyslexia is no excuse for not proofreading. In fact, it's grounds for extra proofreading.... Anyway, /rant

        And thanks!

        • Sad. by Buta on 2009-06-25 04:25:00 UTC Link to this

          Lots of the most capable and consistent spellers I've seen have said they're dyslexic. I'm sure there are a few other Boarders who are as well. It's really no excuse - I agree that it should mean more proofreading.

          Same goes for 'English isn't my native language'. Miss Cam was Norwegian, there are a lot of others who can spell properly even though they learned English as a second language (some in the PPC community itself), and a lot of illiterate fanbrats are Americans.

          There really isn't any good excuse for a lack of proofreading.

    • Wow, you wrote quickly. by kgarrett on 2009-06-24 11:22:00 UTC Link to this

      I've never heard of the fandom, but it was a pretty entertaining mission, if a bit odd with the Agent(s?). Seems like it could be a really good spinoff given time, keep up the good work.

      • Re: Wow, you wrote quickly. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-24 21:14:00 UTC Link to this

        The fandom is one typically aimed toward teenaged girls, which means that it gets some pretty strange fanfic at times...

        Thank you. I know the Agent(s) is/are a bit odd, but I'm hoping that once I get used to writing them, it'll smooth out into something a bit more readable.

        And yeah. I tend to go into a RAEG when I see something quite so awful as that fic was, so I kind of wrote it all in two sittings...

    • I want a Pidgin! by Buta on 2009-06-24 04:34:00 UTC Link to this

      Not for any Agents, for myself. Is that fine? Oh, and do Pidgins show the ability to learn simplified mash-ups of different languages?

      • Here is your Pidgin. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-25 23:47:00 UTC Link to this


        Pidgin
        by ~DawnBluewings on deviantART

        Feel free to use the picture for whatever you want, provided you use standard Netiquette and link back or give proper credit. Enjoy!

      • *throws a Pidgin at you* by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-24 07:06:00 UTC Link to this

        Here have one!

        And yes, I believe that they do. Possibly they could also be used as a sort of translation device? *shrug*

    • Just reading now :) by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-23 23:36:00 UTC Link to this

      And any Pidgins that don't find homes are welcome at the Cute Animal Friend Adoption Agency :D

  • Calling anyone with Spiderman knowhow and a strong stomach by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-23 23:35:00 UTC Link to this

    Ansela pointed this fic out to me:

    (NSFW, NSFB, slash, non-con, golden showers/watersports)

    http://comics.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600060540

    and I agree with her, it needs to be killed. And I am very keeen to do so simply on bad writing, disturbingness and general biology fail. However I know nothing of Spiderman canon, and I don't think Pads does either (and she's kind of away at the moment and I have the bit between my teeth). So is there anyone out there with knowledge of the canon who'd be willing to go through a doc of the fic and note canon charges for me?

    • What's the plot? by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-24 17:18:00 UTC Link to this

      Say he with no AFF access.

      • Plot... um, not much of one, to be honest. by Ansela on 2009-06-24 17:43:00 UTC Link to this

        Doc Ock, in prison, about to be gangraped, Spidey shows up, Ock thinks he's saved but Spidey's just there to claim first go. Cue much raping. In many anatomically and physically impossible ways. Complete with bad euphemisms. And Ock deciding that his lot in life is to be nothing but a prison slut.

        I can copy to a Word file or GDoc for you, if you like.

        • Guh? by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-27 11:12:00 UTC Link to this

          Err... could you copy that to Word? 'cause... guh?

          Of course, it sounds better than The Rape of Mary-Jane Watson, which I've encountered.

          • It seems to have been hidden. by Ansela on 2009-06-27 18:00:00 UTC Link to this

            Disclaimer policy problems.

            • Oh, well... by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-30 13:03:00 UTC Link to this

              What's golden showers/watersports anyway? I'm guessing the former would involve urine?

              • Two names for the same thing. by Ansela on 2009-06-30 15:09:00 UTC Link to this

                And you guessed right. It's one of the things that irritates me when people don't bother to warn for it.

                • Unsurprising... by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-30 16:31:00 UTC Link to this

                  It's an... aquired taste, shall we say?

                  The watersports one could be less ambiguous though. How does an unsuspecting fanfic newbie know that it's that and not, say, sex on a jet ski? I feel sorry for that hypothetical person. :P

                  I first encountered it in a Harry Potter fic on AFF. Basically, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and I believe one other person (maybe Blaise) gangrape and beat Hermione half to death and then start pissing over her. Then Draco Obliviates her (which I thought was a bit too complex a spell for him given I think it was set in OotP) and then... you guessed it... changes the memory so Harry and Ron did it all. *headdesk* Despite the fact that everyone would know that is so supremely out of character for those two and the fact that there's bound to be a wizarding form of forensic science and that would reveal the true attackers. Duh.

                  • Presumably newbies find out the same way I did... by Ansela on 2009-06-30 23:25:00 UTC Link to this

                    Which is accidentally wandering into a fic with it in. I still do that now, but only when I've not been warned for it.

    • This doesn't surprise me much by Paladin on 2009-06-24 00:47:00 UTC Link to this

      Adultfanfiction.net is pretty much an unending carnival of horrors. If the PPC had any form of "kill-everything" weapon, I would warrant its use on that wretched place.

      • A little extreme there, I feel by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-24 00:59:00 UTC Link to this

        Like ff.net, it has its good and bad authors. Just cos the latter are in the majority doesn't mean it calls for a carpet bombing :)

      • HEY! by Ansela Jonla on 2009-06-24 00:54:00 UTC Link to this

        I post to AFF, and there are several authors for my fandom that I follow there. Not everything on that site is anatomically incorrect OOC tripe.

        • Really? by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-27 11:14:00 UTC Link to this

          And here I am saying to my beta clients that anyone who posts there ruins their reputation for all eternity. I've considered it (when I had access) for some of my more adult works (non-erotic rape scenes for the sex, but mostly for gore etc), but that idea died quickly.

          • I think it pays to be open minded :) by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-28 08:26:00 UTC Link to this

            Just like there's no such thing as a bad genre, surely it defies logic and probability for every single fic posted to such a large site as aff.net to be bad?

            If it's a well-written fic, then the place it's posted surely can't 'ruin' its reception or the reputation of the author? I mean, most of us have probably at one time or another posted to ff.net, but despite the fact that the place has a reputation for being a pit of Mary-Sues, it doesn't follow that every fic there IS a Suefic :)

            • Yes, but to my knowledge... by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-30 13:05:00 UTC Link to this

              I've encountered dozens of good fics on FF.net, compared to... well, two on AFF.

    • Don't think so... by Sedri on 2009-06-24 00:36:00 UTC Link to this

      I've only seen the first Toby Maguire movie, and that was a while ago. However, you could search for the relevant media wiki - there almost certainly is one - and have a read there. It may not help you too much with OOC charges, but you'll get a lot of the facts straight.

      Sorry I can't help :(

      • That's okay Sedri luv by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-24 00:38:00 UTC Link to this

        I'm sure someone will know something ...

  • mission plug by IndeMaat on 2009-06-24 14:57:00 UTC Link to this

    Tasmin and Emma perform an emergency exorcism as a mild-mannered man is about to become an abusive husband.

    • Re: mission plug by tabbycat on 2009-06-24 15:45:00 UTC Link to this

      What the...? Wifebeating!Rhys? Aaaarrgh...

      Nice job killing it :)

      *wanders off to gibber in a corner*

  • Something that i've been meaning to post here for ages... by WikiMaster on 2009-06-24 15:29:00 UTC Link to this

    Does anyone remember Light and Dark: The Adventures of Dark Yagami, the abdominable trollfic that I reported here last month? Well, it turns out that the author has created two other Death Note badfics, loosely connected to his 'canon'.

    Here they are:

    Pain Note the Ressurekshun (his spelling, not mine) of Ray Pember:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4818073/1/PAIN_NOTE_THE_RESSUREKSHUN_OF_RAY_PEMBER

    While I have not read or watched Death Note, I know enough to say that ressurection is impossible in Death Note verse.
    And that Shinigami don't have kings that 'bed' the rules in order to copulate with human females and produce hybrid children by them.

    The God of Time With no name Light's real name:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4823896/1/The_God_of_Time_With_No_Name_Lights_Real_Name

    This...This is just bizzare. Let's just say that even I know that psychic dogs and Time Travel don't exsist in Death Note. Oh, and uber-stu Dark Yagami makes an appearance.

    And for those who haven't seen the author's original 'magnum opus':
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4615680/1/Light_and_Dark_The_Adventures_of_Dark_Yagami

    This fanfic has it all. Ass Pulls, bouts of chronic stupidity, OOCness, and canon-violating Sues and Stus that bring unpleasant memories of My Immortal into the spotlight.

    Burn it when you have the time.

    • Yawgh. Please to kill? (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-25 00:33:00 UTC Link to this
      • That depends. Do you have fire? (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-06-25 13:52:00 UTC Link to this
        • 'Ow much you need? (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-29 00:50:00 UTC Link to this
          • A lot. by WikiMaster on 2009-06-29 12:41:00 UTC Link to this

            Also, If you're planning a mission on that last fic, please recruit the 'Girl from the Bus'. She's one of the least Suvian of the OC's, and she endeared herself to me when she tried to kill the Stu. Oh, and can you tell me if Near deserves such bashing?

            • Afraid I can't. by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-30 00:28:00 UTC Link to this

              I've got no idea who Near is.

              • Darn! (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-06-30 14:51:00 UTC Link to this
                • My socks have no holes in them. (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-07-02 01:19:00 UTC Link to this
                  • Huh? by WikiMaster on 2009-07-02 14:50:00 UTC Link to this

                    I don't get the reference.

  • Pluggage! by Neshomeh on 2009-06-25 02:19:00 UTC Link to this

    Just a little teaser for the FicPsych story I'm working on. It's set back in the time of the 2008 crises.

    ~Neshomeh

    • *applauds* Very nice. :) (nm) by Sedri on 2009-06-25 07:14:00 UTC Link to this
    • I'm sorry; I forgot to mentionÂ… by Tawaki on 2009-06-25 03:59:00 UTC Link to this

      …the Mirror Multiverse episode was New Year's Day.

      • Bother. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-25 04:29:00 UTC Link to this

        I guess I forgot to ask about that part, too.

        Well, I don't think the day is explicitly stated anywhere... is it important to you that it's New Year's Day, or can I run with "time in HQ is weird" and "it makes sense my way"?

        ~Neshomeh

        • WellÂ… by Tawaki on 2009-06-25 05:24:00 UTC Link to this

          …it says on Nick's timeline on the wiki that he died in January 2008. And the Cats need time to find their own way into the prime multiverse.

          Time in HQ is weird, I know. It's just that Tawaki, Melpomene, and Dustin are -- hmm, what's a good term for Agents in Temporal Offenses?

          • Temporally attuned? by Neshomeh on 2009-06-25 06:01:00 UTC Link to this

            Hmm... I guess it would take some time for HQ to come up with an emergency lockdown system, too, if they'd never used one before. (Er, they hadn't, right?)

            Oh well. I'll just have to finagle it a bit to keep things connected. This part with the power outage is mainly for giggles, anyway.

            ~Neshomeh

            • Probably not before. by WarriorJoe on 2009-06-25 07:54:00 UTC Link to this

              I can't think of any Emergencies pre-dating 2008 that would have overtly required a lockdown (though since Crashing Down is still in-progress I'm not sure about that one yet).

              The 2003 Mary-Sue Invasion might have warranted something similar, but I get the sense that that was a relatively small intrusion rather than the HQ-wide invasion in 2008.

              • No lockdowns in Crashing Down. by Huinesoron on 2009-06-28 15:33:00 UTC Link to this

                Although they may have started thinking about it after that crisis ended, of course.

                hS

  • Oh dear oh dear... any takers? by Chliever on 2009-06-25 04:30:00 UTC Link to this

    It seems one of the most infamous Harry Potter fics, believed lost, has found its way back to ff.net. Behold, a Legendary Badfic (at least Legendary enough to get onto TVTropes's So Bad It's Horrible page) filled with OOCness, awful spacing, and author tracting. Look, then, upon the whacked out premise of...

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5102928/1/Harry_Potter_turns_to_the_Lord!

    If nobody takes, I will.

    • Oh my. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-25 22:43:00 UTC Link to this

      That's bad. Very bad.
      Speaking of other truly horrible Harry Potter badfics, I think this one deserves a Legendary Badfic or at least a troll nomination. It's been reloaded too many times.

      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4710827/1/Imma_Wiserd_by_raveneagle

      I think I have the other chapters from one of the earlier reloadings saved on a flash drive somewhere.

      • Definitely a parody by Chliever on 2009-06-25 23:35:00 UTC Link to this

        And thus, not eligible for Legendary.

        I still say "Poor Eponine" (my fourth mission) should be considered, though.

        • Then it's a bad parody. by Cinnia Aine on 2009-06-26 05:17:00 UTC Link to this

          It gave me a headache just to read the first chapter. I think I have a new (or maybe not so new) quote about bad parody fics and troll fics. Here goes: "Every time someone uses chatspeak in a story, an English teacher dies." (In other words, outside of a IM conversation in the fic. I don't usually even like that type of conversation in any story, but I'm letting it slide, for the sake of my own sanity.)

    • Oh, happy day! by Ugolino on 2009-06-25 16:58:00 UTC Link to this

      Badfic never dies. Yay for Chick wannabes!

    • It's never a good sign... by tabbycat on 2009-06-25 07:24:00 UTC Link to this

      ...when the first review on a fic is its own author praising it to the high heavens :P

      • Didn't even bother to sign out to review. by Buta on 2009-06-25 09:44:00 UTC Link to this

        Fail. Oh, and the fic sounds a lot like a Chick Tract, but that might just be me.

        • Nah. Too well-written. XP (nm) by Vixenmage on 2009-06-25 14:02:00 UTC Link to this
      • So very agreed by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-25 07:37:00 UTC Link to this

        And the same thing applies to headers - if I see a fic header saying that the author really thinks this is just the bees knees and that they've totally written, like, a metaphor for the ages here, I yawn and click riiiiiight over it, unless the rest of the headers suggests it might be sporkworthy.

    • Oh joy. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-25 05:02:00 UTC Link to this

      The trouble with that fic is that we decided not to go meddling with religious matters after hS PPC'd that Bible fanfic awhile back. At the time, we felt like it wasn't worth possibly offending people about aforementioned religious matters.

      On the other hand, maybe that discussion can be re-opened. For my part, as long as the thing is handled with some regard for people's sensibilities, I have no problem with it. I figure it's the same as Bad Slash: there's nothing wrong with being gay, but if the characters being slashed aren't, and it's not handled well, it's bad writing. In the same way, there's nothing wrong with religion, but if the character "turning to the Lord" has no real reason to do so--having not been noticeably anti-religious or evil to begin with, in this case--then it's out of character.

      ~Neshomeh

      • It's a touchy subject... by Sedri on 2009-06-25 07:17:00 UTC Link to this

        But that's a good point. I would just suggest proceeding with caution, avoid making too many charges based on religion alone, and stick in a very clearly-worded author's note about how it's the fic tht offends, not the religious content.

        In this case, I see enough implausible encounters and OOCness in Harry (overdefensiveness, for one) to charge even without the religious content.

  • OT -- The King of Pop is dead by Tawaki on 2009-06-26 02:55:00 UTC Link to this

    Cardiac arrest.

    • I don't mean to sound offensive, but... by kgarrett on 2009-07-01 00:49:00 UTC Link to this

      Am I the only one who's glad he died? In my opinion, cardiac arrest wasn't a quick enough end.

      • Dunno how I didn't catch this, but I meant "was too quick an by Anonymous on 2009-07-01 21:08:00 UTC Link to this

        -end".

        • Well, his kids are going to have easier lives now. by Maudlin Hart on 2009-07-02 01:18:00 UTC Link to this

          Now everyone's going "He was the King of Pop! And he was in Thriller! He's dead! Waaaaah!" instead of "He was a fragging pedophile!"
          But we can still make jokes about him. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

          • I got another one ... by Laburnum on 2009-07-02 21:59:00 UTC Link to this

            From The Sneeze on "natto", which is a type of fermented soybean foodstuff popular in Japan:

            "Not unlike Michael Jackson, these harmless soybeans had undergone some kind of hideous transformation. They were now a freakish version of their former selves. (Which, coincidentally, should also be kept away from your children.)"

          • Re: Well, his kids are going to have easier lives now. by Seranis on 2009-07-02 18:10:00 UTC Link to this

            Search me. What?

            • One's white and made of plastic... by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-03 10:12:00 UTC Link to this

              and the other carries your shopping in. :P

              • Partially. by Maudlin Hart on 2009-07-09 00:32:00 UTC Link to this

                It's "One's made of white plastic and is dangerous for children to play with and the other one's a grocery bag".

                • It varies... by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-11 10:29:00 UTC Link to this

                  sometimes that part's in, sometimes it isn't.

              • Re: One's white and made of plastic... by Seranis on 2009-07-03 16:25:00 UTC Link to this

                HAR.

                Cheap, but amusing!

                • heard another today by Pads on 2009-07-05 00:00:00 UTC Link to this

                  I'm crap at jokes, so excuse the poor telling of it. It was something along the lines of Farrah Fawcett dying and going to heaven and being asked if she had any last requests for happenings on Earth. She asked for all the children of the world to be happy and safe. So they killed Michael Jackson. Of course, as jokes go, it works rather better if, unlike me, you a) know who Farrah Fawcett is and b) know she also died that day.

                  • Re: heard another today by Seranis on 2009-07-06 00:03:00 UTC Link to this

                    Hee.

                    What does it say about my character that I'm filled with borderline-homicidal rage at someone like chasethehedgehog, yet only want pedophiles like Jacko to be put away for thirty years and occasionally prodded with red-hot pokers?

                    Nothing good.

                    • Who's... by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-11 10:30:00 UTC Link to this

                      chasethehedgehog?

                      • Re: Who's... by Seranis on 2009-07-11 15:28:00 UTC Link to this

                        EncylopediaDramatica explains it better than I could, but to sum it up: He's an arrogant kid who does MS Paint Sonic Art. He thinks his (large) number of pageviews is due to his artistic prowess, but really, it's because of morbid curiosity.

                        Interesting comments of his include saying that photography isn't art because you press a button and get a picture, (Apparently hours of tweaking the lighting, makeup, and the picture itself in various programs don't count.) and poetry isn't art because he just doesn't like it.

                        He's not even a lolcow anymore, so much as annoying.

                        • A lolcow? by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-14 10:19:00 UTC Link to this

                          They have lolcows now? And yeah, I drew a picture of Star Wars: Jedi Knight in MS Paint, but that sucked. I only drew it because I wanted to win a competition in PC Gamer.

      • *seconds* by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-01 11:18:00 UTC Link to this

        I just didn't want to be the first to say it.

        He can't sing either. But then again, he was better than the local church fete (taking place the Saturday after his death) where some moron hired the school choir or something to sing things from Coldplay and Jackson (of those I could identify). ... none of them could sing.

        On the plus side, the Jackson songs were fun. Not because of the songs themselves, but because I remembered what Weird Al did to them. :P Good times.

        • I was never a fan, but I didn't wish him dead. by Laburnum on 2009-07-01 23:43:00 UTC Link to this

          Regardless of what the person did or didn't do, death is so final ... Then again, maybe real-life me is just softhearted. Hell, I felt bad when Jerry Falwell died, and I actively loathed everything he stood for!

          • While most of the time, yes... by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-03 10:13:00 UTC Link to this

            I do think that death's a bit too final, there are some exceptions such as Jackson were I can happily think "Well, good riddance." I think the same for any major criminal (e.g. rapist, murderer etc).

    • ...and adolescent boys around the world breathe easy... (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-29 00:50:00 UTC Link to this
    • May The Angels Sing Thriller.... by Maya De'Lune on 2009-06-26 06:33:00 UTC Link to this

      I think it's tragic. I can't say I ever really loved him, but I did respect him. Even pitied him when he hated himself so much he would twist and mutilate his body to be someone he wasn't.
      But I do think it's awful that the same people who constantly cracked jokes about him now pretend he was their idol. It really isn't fair. Poor Man...

    • I just found out when someone posted a tribute pic ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-26 03:03:00 UTC Link to this

      Ain't that sad? I'm getting my news through devArt now. Well, I was never a big fan, but my support goes out to both his family and his fanbase.

  • Mission Pluggage... Just a short one. by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-27 10:01:00 UTC Link to this

    http://dawnbluewings.livejournal.com/29401.html

    Az has had nothing to do at work for the past two days. Therefore, this rather terrible Old Kingdom fic got what it deserved.

    This same author has a few more which I may be killing in future. *sigh*

    Oh. And I hereby claim this one: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2413177/1/A_Squires_Pain

    Anyone well-versed in Tortallverse (Specifically Protector of the Small) want to tag along to administer some serious pain on what I'm pretty sure are a Replacement 'Sue and 'Stu for Kel and Joren?

  • My Introduction. *bows* by Meip on 2009-06-27 11:07:00 UTC Link to this

    Hello to all. *bows* I hope I'm doing this introduction bit correctly. owo

    I was introduced to the absolutely wonderful, awesome, cool, beautiful, crazy, lovely... [insert other happy adjectives here] ... and magnificent community by one of my sister units, Azi~ >w
    In any case I really enjoy reading about all of the wonderful PPC stories I've spotted, and I hopefully will be able to write my own someday. x3

    ((A note to the sister things: Sorry I don't match! owo Lyonell is being quite a bit too Sue (yes SUE xD) to flourish here. ;3 He got a high score on the test! 8D))

    • A belated welcome... by Cinnia Aine on 2009-07-03 00:38:00 UTC Link to this

      Since I have no control over a computer breaking, however, I still want to say "hi". Here's a fancy fire-proof shield from the Raven Armory. (I don't know if they actually sell fire-proof shields, but just in case they do... Maybe they had enlisted help from a mage?)

    • welcome by jabbuk d'eldrin on 2009-06-29 03:07:00 UTC Link to this

      here is some C4. blease don;t use it to kill anyone. it makes a nice fire when you light it.

    • Hello, small mammal. by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-29 00:49:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't have much use for it here. Also, here's a life-size cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen and some matches. You know what to do.
      -Mad Maudlin

    • Hello! by Buta on 2009-06-28 13:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Have a shapeshifting plushie.

    • Wow! by PitViperOfDoom on 2009-06-28 05:31:00 UTC Link to this

      I come back from a 25-mile backpacking trip just in time to greet the newbie!

      Welcome! Hello! Hi! Are you insane? I hope you are. It's a bit of a requirement here.

      I gift you with a bottle of Bleepka and a sock full of rocks!

    • Welcome! Have a Capillary Towel! by Sedri on 2009-06-28 01:53:00 UTC Link to this

      Very useful.

      I'm sure you've already been told all you need to know, so I'll just offer a friendly but uselessly undefined warning about the floor. Beware the floor. Have a nice day.

      :)

    • *snatches up the Meip creature covetously* by Rosie Azrael on 2009-06-27 21:15:00 UTC Link to this

      Hello dahlink... *scritches you about the ears*

      I'll get you all shown around later, right now I have to help mother doing things to get ready for Fair. Remember, we need you by the second at the latest.

      *huggles*

      And no worries that we're not a matched set, dear. I was kinda worried that Lyo would be a bit too much of a Sue to survive here... (Though former Sues do sometimes find homes here.... Muahaahaahah...)

    • Re: My Introduction. *bows* by Seranis on 2009-06-27 19:56:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome, welcome! Have an incredibly racist chainsaw!

    • Hello! by Sara on 2009-06-27 19:14:00 UTC Link to this

      Yay for siblings! Here, have an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and spambots, too! Use it for good and not much evil.

      Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride. ^_^

      • Re: Hello! by Meip on 2009-06-29 06:43:00 UTC Link to this

        Yes, yay for siblings, and yay, more presents! x3 *stuffs the egg whisk into the hammer space known as her backpack*

        Mmm, insanity. x3

    • First poke! by Neshomeh on 2009-06-27 16:55:00 UTC Link to this

      *poke*

      Welcome a'Board! Required reading includes the Original Series and the Board Constitution, but I imagine your friends have told you that already and can show you where to find said required reading. {= )

      In the meantime, you use some emoticons with which I'm not familiar. Could you explain owo and >w
      ~Neshomeh

      • Re: First poke! by Meip on 2009-06-29 05:55:00 UTC Link to this

        I read the Board Constitution before I first posted, and I'm in still in the process of reading the Original series. ^^

        They're kitty faces. x3
        Shocked kitty = owo
        Excited/Embarrassed Kitty = >w
        I'm a really big cat person. >w

        • ...you are a very tall furry? (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-30 00:27:00 UTC Link to this
      • It looks like a cat's nose. by khajidu on 2009-06-27 18:08:00 UTC Link to this

        I may be mistaken, though

        • Re: It looks like a cat's nose. by Meip on 2009-06-29 05:55:00 UTC Link to this

          Cat mouth, technically. ^^

    • First plover! by Tawaki on 2009-06-27 16:04:00 UTC Link to this

      BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or Response Center?

      • Re: First plover! by Meip on 2009-06-29 05:58:00 UTC Link to this

        *pets the plover* -^^-

        I'm not sure yet. =3 I'm still thinking it over. x3

    • Anti-Lustin for the fair lady? (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-06-27 13:47:00 UTC Link to this
    • Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by khajidu on 2009-06-27 13:05:00 UTC Link to this

      This one is Russian, 110m long, and very fast. Have fun with her and mind the parking spots, she's not that easy to park. And be careful: she's a he.

      • Re: Welcome. Here's a tall ship. by Meip on 2009-06-29 05:39:00 UTC Link to this

        Pretty ship. *w*
        *grabs a ladder cause she is a short creature*

        • Ladder is provided. by khajidu on 2009-07-04 22:01:00 UTC Link to this

          Enjoy your sailing on the Mir.

    • *waves* O hai thar. by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2009-06-27 11:50:00 UTC Link to this

      Welcome to the PPC. Here, have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.

      Lovely to have you here. ^_^

      • Re: *waves* O hai thar. by Meip on 2009-06-29 05:36:00 UTC Link to this

        Pebbles AND a shiny thing? *w* *makes off with her new possessions*

    • Welcome! *proffers lembas* (nm) by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-27 11:38:00 UTC Link to this
    • May I be the first to say... by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-27 11:18:00 UTC Link to this

      greetings from the Planet Zog. Our people welcome you and hope you value your time here.

  • Gears of War Suefic by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-27 11:33:00 UTC Link to this

    I just encountered this edit on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_characters_in_the_Gears_of_War_series&curid=8138150&diff=298855322&oldid=298852781

    Does this Suefic actually exist (wouldn't surprise me)? Or is someone simply trying to annoy me after they read my edit summary here: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=List_of_characters_in_the_Gears_of_War_series&diff=298375426&oldid=298375224

    • Don't see anything indicating the fic actually exists. by Anonymous on 2009-06-29 20:53:00 UTC Link to this

      However, currently looking through the Pit for it, just in case.

      • Sorry... by thejadefalcon on 2009-06-30 13:07:00 UTC Link to this

        I hadn't meant for anyone to go out of their way to find it. I was merely asking if someone had happened to encounter it somewhere.

        • Heh, you made me curious, no worries. by kgarrett on 2009-06-30 21:49:00 UTC Link to this

          No doubt there're Gears suefics, but I didn't find that specific one.

          • Did you find the one where... by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-01 11:14:00 UTC Link to this

            Marcus and Baird take time off in the middle of a mission to shag Ben Carmine?

            • Huh, didn't know of that one. by kgarrett on 2009-07-01 14:32:00 UTC Link to this

              I'll track it down.

              • Here you go! by thejadefalcon on 2009-07-01 16:17:00 UTC Link to this

                http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4753077/1/Happiness_Is_A_Warm_Gun

                And of course, the reviews have gotten worse (i.e. more praise). My favourite is by rocquell, merely for the WTF are you talking about aspect. I actually replied to him asking that.

                And because I'm feeling vindictive kind, here's another: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4731844/1/Dominance

                Can I advance claim the former for if I ever ask Permission (the required writing sample is kicking my arse).

  • Possible Bartimaeus Trilogy badfic. by WikiMaster on 2009-06-28 02:26:00 UTC Link to this

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4907397/1/The_Seal_of_Solomon

    The OC's look like they're genderbent copies of Natahniel and Bartimaeus, but they haven't annoyed me yet (though I may just be too lenient). As for spelling errors, there are a few, but the only one that overly annoys me is a constant misspelling of 'commoner' as 'commonor'. Oh, and a character who may have died in the last book (Jane Farrar) survived, but may be in character (she's still a pretty b****h). I'm still at chapter 4, and all in all, this doesn't seem to be pretty bad (in fact, I'm starting to like it). Your opinions?

    • I'm going to give this a good review now. (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-06-28 23:54:00 UTC Link to this
      • Then why did you report it as a badfic? (nm) by Anonymous on 2009-06-29 04:31:00 UTC Link to this
        • I reporetg this as a possible badfic! by WikiMaster on 2009-06-29 12:29:00 UTC Link to this

          Read the title again, would you?

          • It's 'reported', actually. by WikiMaster on 2009-06-29 12:37:00 UTC Link to this

            Also, sorry about that last post. I was just pissed off (I was lurking in the Giant in the Playground Forums yeaterday, and saw a flamewar about a certain Order of the Stick Character*).

            *I don't even play D&D!

            • Sorry, that was a poor excuse. by WikiMaster on 2009-06-29 12:44:00 UTC Link to this

              But honestly, when I say 'possible', I do not mean it as an euphemism for 'certainly'!

              • But why not... by Huinesoron on 2009-06-30 14:55:00 UTC Link to this

                ... finish reading it before you post it?

                hS

                • Sorry, I forgot about that step. by WikiMaster on 2009-07-02 14:47:00 UTC Link to this

                  I'm also sorry for yelling at you like that, as well as the delay in answering (internet problems). Just one question: why did you not say who you are? I tought you were someone else!

                  • Because that wasn't him earlier. by kgarrett on 2009-07-02 15:29:00 UTC Link to this

                    It was me, just logged out. Though you probably wouldn't have apologised for being rude if I'd said it earlier, so maybe it's for the best you ended up thinking it was hS. :P

                    • You're actually right about that. by WikiMaster on 2009-07-02 21:59:00 UTC Link to this

                      Part of the reason for being rude was because I tought it was you. You did make that anonymous edit at Tv.Tropes (I still count myself as a newbie, and one who has done a few Board-unworthy things) and I just snapped. Sorry.

                      • Hm. At least you're honest about it. (nm) by kgarrett on 2009-07-02 22:55:00 UTC Link to this
                        • Yes. Yes I am. (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-07-02 23:50:00 UTC Link to this
    • ...Mini! by Buta on 2009-06-28 14:00:00 UTC Link to this

      Can I have Natahniel? Whatever he is? (Don't know what Bartimaeus Trilogy-minis are.)

      • Yes, you may. (nm) by WikiMaster on 2009-06-28 14:23:00 UTC Link to this
        • Also... by WikiMaster on 2009-06-28 14:26:00 UTC Link to this

          Do you have an assesment of this fic? I mean, does it get worse in later chapters?

  • MISSION PLUG! The punishment begins. by Chliever on 2009-06-28 02:52:00 UTC Link to this

    Winston and Chliever both screwed up in their first mission together. This was not just coincidence; I've wanted to do this storyline from the beginning. Thanks to Trojie for the inspiration; I think she was the first to do a punishment storyline.

    http://agent-chliever.livejournal.com/3082.html#cutid1

    In this mission, Chliever and Winston are called on their flubs, and sentenced to deal with the entire collected works of Starjeffry, an infamous LiveJournal horny teenager and/or failed troll. With his Plaguesword gone, look for Chliever beginning to use his diseases as his main weapons. Also, what's worse than an escaped canon in your RC? Your superior mistaking her for an Intern! And what's Andreas doing with that vial of Nightmare Fuel, anyway?

    • *chokes* by Tiroth on 2009-07-03 01:57:00 UTC Link to this

      I probably shouldn't be so surprised or horrified, but...you've got a GREAT UNCLEAN ONE as an Agent? O.O

      Sorry, I just...wow.

    • Thank you all for your kind concrit. by Chliever on 2009-06-28 14:39:00 UTC Link to this

      Warning added. The Hyacinth's lines italicized. And you're right, I do need a beta, but I'm not exactly sure how to get one. I generally proofread these things, but I guess some bits can slip through the cracks.

      As to attacking LJ-based fic, Pottersues sporked this guy, so I thought it was safe for me to do so, as well.

      • On beta-readers. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-28 17:08:00 UTC Link to this

        Around here, you pretty much just have to ask. Usually someone will volunteer. If not, it tends to be because no one knows the continuum or is scared of the badfic.

        And, yeah. I like to think I'm pretty good at catching my own mistakes, but nobody can get them all--unless you want to wait a month or so, so you have time to forget what should be there so you can see what is there.

        ~Neshomeh

        • Re: On beta-readers. by Chliever on 2009-06-28 22:07:00 UTC Link to this

          Thank you for all your advice. And, hey, we all write our clunkers on occasion, right?

          And no, I'm not keeping the canon.

    • To add to what the others have said... by kgarrett on 2009-06-28 13:52:00 UTC Link to this

      I'm sorry, but I really don't think the Hyacinth's incompetent enough to mistake a canon character for an intern. Also doubt she'd let them stay in HQ past whatever reason they're there for (usually Medical or a FicPsych stay).

      • Good point. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-28 17:15:00 UTC Link to this

        I'm willing to suppose that Medical and FicPsych are busy, and maybe sometimes somebody slips away. I also understand the agents being too panicked to tell anybody about it. But kgarrett is right about the Hyacinth. It might be better to have her not know about the situation at all until it resolves itself.

        Also, you do know you can't keep Eponine indefinitely, right?

        ~Neshomeh

        • Of course. by Chliever on 2009-06-28 21:55:00 UTC Link to this

          Believe me, I only brought her in so the Wrath could come down on my Agents' heads.

    • Re: MISSION PLUG! The punishment begins. by Vixenmage on 2009-06-28 07:54:00 UTC Link to this

      I don't even know how to say this.

      First off, I don't think we should be attacking things posted on people's personal journals. I remember this topic coming up a long time ago, when someone brought up a community started by badfic authors on LJ which wouldn't allow anyone non-approved in. Someone (I want to say Huinesoron, but I'm not sure) pointed out this was what people were supposed to do: put their stuff on private communities, unless they wanted it reviewed. Yes, his stuff sucks, but it's not on The Pit, or any communities that I can see, so why bother? His fics are an abomination, yes, but what he does on his Livejournal is his business.

      Secondly, a warning would be nice.

      Thirdly... Um, did you have a beta for this? It's generally Strongly Recommended. Anyway, yeah.

    • Okay, opinion time? by JulyFlame on 2009-06-28 07:47:00 UTC Link to this

      The total lack of warning is so not on at all.

      Missions?

      Are generally clean for the most part, or have some sort of warning.

      Also? A Beta? Get one.

      To be honest, I didn't like this at all for the above reasons and some of what Neshomeh herself pointed out.

    • That's. Um. by Neshomeh on 2009-06-28 07:00:00 UTC Link to this

      ... A warning about the M-rated nature of these things would probably be a good idea in the future.

      I've seen some crude rude stuff before, but I think the comparison of the "trail of tears" takes the cake. *gags*

      A few technical details. First of all, the Plants speak telepathically, which is usually rendered in italics, not quotation marks. Second, you left the N out of Hyacinth a few times, as well as a few other miscellaneous spelling and punctuation oopses. Third, did you really mean for the CAD to say "Watch out for hundred-food [censored]"? And, if so, why didn't that appear on the charge list? O.o;

      I am both curious and afraid to find out what the next missions hold in store for Winston and Chliever.

      ~Neshomeh, who half expects to see them and Eponine in FicPsych before long.

  • Hoi, hoi, u embleer merisuïl by Tawaki on 2009-06-28 04:26:00 UTC Link to this
    1. Finding Love » by Horses R 4 ME reviews
      When Heron's warren is burned down she goes to a different warren. But when that warren is attacked she and her new friends must go somewhere else. And that place happens to be Watership Down. Fiver/OC, Silverweed/OC, Dandelion/OC Many more OC's in story
      Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,414 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-27-09 - Published: 6-26-09

      My comment: TSEEEEEEER!

      2. The Heroes Legend by Ben Cole reviews
      Join Hazel-rah, Firestar, Matthias, Bigwig, Mattimeo, Fiver, Pipkin, Deyna, Triss, Crowfeather, Mistyfoot and Flamepaw as they embark on a quest to save the Lotr world from the dark forces that threaten to destroy it.
      Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,535 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-15-09

      My comment: What has we here, Precious? We has conies. Gollum! Gollum!

      3. Rosebel and Her Life Before by ink-splotter08 reviews
      Before Rosebel had Fiver... she had control of her life. She was lonely but her life was predictable; until she met a rabbit who spun her life back together- and his name was Hahira...
      Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1-3-09 - Complete

      My comment: Kiww the wabbit/Kiww the Wabbit/Kiww the wabbit/Kiww the wabbit
    • ARGH by PitViperOfDoom on 2009-06-28 20:18:00 UTC Link to this

      I think I need to swear. I really, REALLY need to swear. Here goes.

      What the SH*T!

      That second one makes me want to slaughter things. C-can I have the third one? Please?

      • Take it. (nm) by Tawaki on 2009-06-28 21:32:00 UTC Link to this
    • Firestar? FIRESTAR?!? by Crystal on 2009-06-28 12:21:00 UTC Link to this

      WTF?

      Have these authors never read Watership down?

      • Crosssssssss-ohhhhhhh-verrrrrrrrrrrrr...! by Maudlin Hart on 2009-06-29 00:47:00 UTC Link to this

        Aargh. No, they haven't. And they have never read Warriors or LotR either, or they'd know it's called Middle-earth.

    • You think that's bad? by Vixenmage on 2009-06-28 08:19:00 UTC Link to this

      I take it you've never read The Crossbearer, then.

  • Art plug! by Neshomeh on 2009-06-28 20:46:00 UTC Link to this

    An art bunny bit me a couple of days ago, and this is the result. The scene in question came about at the beginning of Ilraen and Nume's second mission.

    ~Neshomeh

    • Re: Art plug! by Seranis on 2009-07-02 17:15:00 UTC Link to this

      Kffff.

      I remember loving Animorphs! Hee.

    • Erp. :) (nm) by Sedri on 2009-06-29 01:44:00 UTC Link to this
    • *snerk* by Adagio on 2009-06-28 23:34:00 UTC Link to this

      Poor Ilraen. Hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon.

    • D'aww, poor Ilraen by The Trojanhorse on 2009-06-28 22:14:00 UTC Link to this

      that's kind of adorable :)

  • OT: Billy Mays has died by Chliever on 2009-06-28 22:11:00 UTC Link to this

    Not exactly a good week to be a celebrity, eh? Sure, Billy Mays was obnoxious and always shoving Oxy-Clean in everyone's face, but still, my condolences.

    • Re: OT: Billy Mays has died by Seranis on 2009-07-02 18:06:00 UTC Link to this

      http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/5/5c/Mighty_putty_heart.jpg

      That is all.

  • How safe are children in the Nursery from Molly Rath? by Tawaki on 2009-06-29 19:52:00 UTC Link to this

    I ask because I need to know if Tawaki and Tadkeeta need to leave K-9 with the twins.

    • Reasonably safe as long as they don't bother her ... by Laburnum on 2009-06-29 22:28:00 UTC Link to this

      ... so no trying to pat her without warning, no trying to take away whatever she's playing with, and no reminding her of the events which resulted in her arriving at the PPC in the first place - but the nursery kids probably know that it's not polite to ask about Sue-kids' parents, so that's okay. She does want other kids to play with rather than to eat, so they're probably safer than the adults.

  • Art Plug! by PitViperOfDoom on 2009-06-30 08:18:00 UTC Link to this

    http://av-marten.deviantart.com/art/Eat-Your-Face-127750060

    I used a base to make a Happy Tree Friends version of Molly Rath. 'Cause I can.

This software is licensed under the GNU Affero GPL version 3 or later. Source code is located at Github