May 2009 Archive, part a

But I've loved the sporkage!

Good MST though. Also, that fic had way too many technical errors.

About the ^%*||+- bit... Daleks print out parts of NetHack levels and stick them to walls? Even with no knowledge of the continuum, that still seems pretty stupid to me. It's either that or the author thinks they speak in ASCII.

It could be some kind of stud poker. Yes, probably a variant of stud poker.

Well it's not Texas hold 'em. And that's the only one I know how to play. Sorry!

This one may be a first. Inheritance Cycle fic found, also a Halo Sue. I haven't read either yet beyond the first chapters, but they look to be of about the same quality as Tears.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3518390/1/Domia_abr_Wyrda - The Inheritance fic

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2749373/1/Help_With_Escaping - Halo fic. Includes a Spartan-II Sue, replete with a full name.

Then drink Bleeperin, lots of it.

There's a movie theatre near where I live with the initials PPC. 'Tis fun.

I wonder why you need a degree in science for a job in the PPC...

Though not much interested in online marketing.

The character Jaya Ballard, a fire-wielding wizard from Magic: The Gathering, has some great quotes along the same lines:


"Frankly, destruction is best left to professionals."
"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead."
"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire."

I've heard most of my favorite game quotes when my big bro plays L4D. In the opening cinematic, after the four main characters fight their way through a horde of ravenous zombies and make it safely to a rooftop, I love the exchange of:

"We made it! I can't believe we made it!"
"Son, we just crossed the street."

I think I heard another version of it somewhere else, but I can't remember where. For some reason, it seems like something agents would say to each other in an argument.

there is a crossover between Command and Conquer and Harry Potter. why am I not surprised? it doesn't seem too horrible, and the writer did say that it was an AU.

The only real way to be an eighth elvish would be to have a single elvish great-grandparent, which means... *digs for LoTR appendicies* ...said agent would have to be a child of Vardamir, second king of Numenor (and thus entirely Numenorean herself), or alternatively... *digs for Silm* ...a great-grandchild of Idril and Tuor? She would have to be a grandchild of a sibling of Earendil's, and given the human requirement, that would put her lifespan closer to the fall of Gondolin than the fall of Numenor.

In other words, canonical pairings are pretty much out of the question. You will probably have to invent one. Considering that the Valar basically said "no more" when Elrond and Elros decided, I rather doubt there would be another...

The trouble with Tolkien's universe is that Elvishness really isn't very divisible. If you're set on having a part-elvish Agent, you might want to pick a more condusive Canon for her to come from.

1) Universes don't get PPC'd - fics do. The Spies who trawl for badfic submit reports when they find fics that require PPCing. This is what the Department of Intelligence does.

2) Only if they're an ex-Sue or semi-fic blip, I suspect. Being part-anything, part-human tends to be considered Sueish, and you'd need a good justification for doing it.

3) Depends on what works best for the story. If it would be handy for them to be bit characters, then treat them as such. If they would only get in the way, send 'em to the CAF agency, pretty much. Unless, despite not being able to talk, they display definite intelligence, in which case they'd be bits, I suspect.

4) Do you mean a typo in the original published book? It might create something, not necessarily a mini.

Disclaimer - things I am not include an authority.

I'll answer question 4.

Possibly. It depends on whether fanfic writers use said misprint as canon in their fanfics. A good example is in the Official Fanfiction University of Redwall, where one of the students read an earlier edition of Redwall, which had a misprint that Killconey the ferret was a girl. As a result, said student was responsible for the creation of Girl!Killconey, or Konnie as she is often referred to.

... is that they really need to be "legendary". As in, it needs to be a fic almost everyone has heard of and can immediately start talking about. Otherwise we'd just be making a list of our favourite stories - which is fine, but not the purpose of the title "Legendary Goodfic".

:)

http://hungryugolino.livejournal.com/2437.html#cutid1

Agents Renée Garrett and Phoebe Claypool can be found here.

"Ending up in FicPsych is not the way I want to go," he said when Osbert mentioned that department. "One of my partners wound up in there a while ago. The last time I heard of her, she thought she was the reincarnation of Lily Potter from Potterverse."

He looked around at the party. "I can think of at least one person who'd have appreciated the atmosphere, yeah," he sighed, his shoulders drooping slightly.

See Drake's behaviour around Stormsong - he does have an excuse because Stormsong saved him from an Author-Wraith.

Though anyone in a one-way lust situation better remember that most agents carry weapons. Though Acacia has retired to Rome, so it's not like she's around to be asked about it.

And normal, too. I mean, Tawaki Penguin and Tadkeeta get married and I think they eventually have two kids. And I'm thinking of having Deuce develop a crush on Adder.

Dafydd and Constance eventually married, Pads got it into her head to woo Trojie and Lux... enough said there.

As long as he keeps it within reasonable boundaries then it should be fine for Agent Cal to lust after Acacia. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing to have listed as a lust object. IIRC one Agent has Serenity on their list and at least one Agent lists a Flower as one of theirs.

Data doing it...
http://www.fanfiction.net/tv/StarTrek_The_Next_Generation/14/0/1/1/0/305/0/2/0/1/

Poor Data... I would be interested in reading this.
Links to the discussions please?

BTW, when will the Watchmen fanfic be out?

Who would want to do the Joker?
Really?

That might actually be kind of fun. It seems rather silly.

The people at Anti-Shur'tugal will undoubtedly have something snarky to say about it.

I am a wee bitty unorganized, aren't I? Sorry about that.
A MST is script format, though. Oof. Hope I haven't given you any wrong ideas here, or confused you so much that your head implodes and gorillas fly out.

First and foremost, I dislike it because it's easier to create. A person doesn't have to put as much time into it, which makes such things far, far more prone to being rubbish. A good writer will avoid that anyway, of course, but still, there is a great deal more pleasure to be had in reading prose, because it actually draws you into the narrative - it's literal storytelling, rather than the cold, clipped attitude of a script. That's not a story - it's the very detailed outline of a story. It's much harder to enjoy.

That said, there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but I won't read anything - fic, misson, whatever - that's in script format.

I can't speak for everyone, of course. But if it's a script, then script form is the way to go. One of my favourite Discworld fanfics was in script movie form. It's annoying when writers use script form incorrectly or in the wrong context though. A novel or a short story is very different from a play. It may be easier for you to write in script form, but it is difficult to read sometimes and you miss out on a lot of the description with script form. Personally I think prose is easier to read and write.

Also, if you don't care if your audience finds reading your story difficult, then you obviously don't care if they like your fic or not. Therefor, if someone complains about it, you shouldn't care about that.

Have a glass longsword that sucks the life out of opponents. Don't worry about breakage; it's from the Elder Scrolls-verse, where glass is stronger than steel and bright green.

Have a Staff of Napalm.

Have a Skitty (and Wailord)!

I present you with a special dagger from the Raven Armory.

Here, have an otter plushie. ^_^

Ah, nineteen. A good age to be, or so I thought while desperately clinging on to it as twenty loomed.

What is it about May? There's yours and Sedri's, and mine and Fynn's are both next week. And it's just the same in Real Life - got four in a row to celebrate next week. Honestly, this month's almost as bad as the 28th of March (upon which about seven people I know have birthdays).

Have a sword of Valyrian steel.

One more year of teenagerhood... scary thought, hm?

In recognition of this day, I present you with a sack of pebbles, your own sling, and a basket of Bleeprin-berries - delicious, memory-erasing, and healthy. :)

*hands you a platter of birthday lembas*

Do enjoy!

Happy Birthday!!

That would be 11:30 Central Standard Time. B-day is May 6.

for anyone who has some knowledge of microbiology, is it possible for a disease to only infect (and therefore kill) the male members of a species? if not, then i have a charge of bad biology for a fic i will be PPC-ing.

I'm not a PG, obviously, but I'd guess not really. You'll be asking for permission to write missions, and they're done in straight prose, unlike the MST script format. An MST wouldn't really show off your ability to write decent narrative, so it wouldn't be of much use for the PGs.

I'm busy drafting a proper writing sample with the help of Pads, but I can't deny that an MST would make things easier. :P I'd probably stick with the proper thing anyway though.

Have a large stuffed red panda!

*thumbs up*

I wish you much snarktastic joy in bringing about the safety of the multiverse in the coming year.

Here, have a Shiny Object to inspire and guide you.

Piles and piles of birthday lembas for you!

Have some Pokeballs!

Here's a yummy, triple-(insert favorite candy here) birthday cake just for you! :D

Here, have a graduated cylinder. :]

And lots of cake and goodies (it's still May 7th here).

Here, have an otter plushie! It's so soft and lovable. It'll do an Irish hardshoe solo if you call it Michael Flatley. ;-)

Hope your birthday's fantastic! *hug*

Happy birthday, Sedri! Hope you have a great day!

*gifts you with bleepolate*

Don't get too drunk.

Wow, I remember congratulating you last year, too. I've been here a while. :P

Anyways. Presents! *hands over sack of pebbles, a customised sling and a basket of Bleeprin-berries* Enjoy!

I think Trojie and I could probably be persuaded to kill that one without too much trouble.

When I get there on my grand round world tour. This tour is taking more than a year, with you big stops (Japan right now and Ireland in October)! Hope we can do something then.

Leto

I have to go to a family party. I demand detailed reports when you get back!

(Cassie and I are tossing around ideas for another Gathering later this year, possibly in Leeds. Will post further on that once we've planned it out better.)

Regrettably, I won't be able to come. Revision, assignments and visiting relatives that will be showing up sometime this weekend have forced me to change my plans.

I think it says something that the author of the first one has Keiran Halcyon in his/her favourite authors list...

I answer that with my own question. How did Sues become so common? Because all these authors are too busy [unsure if I'd get into trouble if I post this word] over their supreme author skillz to notice that the only thing they should be writing is their signature on a court order forbidding them to come within fifty metres of a keyboard.

That first one has to be a pisstake. No one in their right mind would call a house-elf Steve. And as for Harry being the Duke of sodding Windsor... And he gets "coronated"? In Azkaban? What the...?

I hardly dare click on the other one after that.

How the heck did you manage to /read/ that FMA one? Hope it didn't give you too much of a headache!

I salute you, fellow fast-worker.

Also, you win the prize for worst formatting, no question. You may have the trophy from Fritz and Silas, who won it for their first mission.

Well, that is most likely an Improbable Crossover, but it could work if you are really careful. I agree with the idea of keeping the Love Interest alive and him learning to live with her. If Harry is going to be an elf, please still give him weaknesses and dear Eru, don't even dream of having him learn weapons or languages in weeks, or even in months. *stabs The Inheiritance Cycle* They take years to get really good at. Harry would probably be really unhappy about not being part of the Fellowship, and dear Eru, no Tenth Walker to get around that. If you can figure a way to get him to the battles with Sauron, more power to you. I personally can't right now. Good luck and may the typo demons avoid you.

Like yours, my knowledge of LotR-cosmology is pretty limited, but I'll give it a shot.

The Valar are, indeed "sort of second-in-command gods", although I'm not certain if the Ainur fit into the picture in any manner.

Elvish resurrection is, by my understanding, incredibly rare - as in, to the best of my knowledge, it has occurred roughly half a dozen times in the history of the world.

I'd do my best to seriously rethink the human love interest. I'm not certain, but I think Beren & Luthien, Tuor & Idril, and Aragorn & Arwen are the only Man-Elf couples. Encyclopedia of Arda mentions another as possible, but I don't recognize either of the names, and even so that's only four in the whole history of the world. More than that, I have the distinct impression that Elves take one spouse, and one only, their entire lives.

I might see if I could merge the brain-shapes of the love interest and "Glorgatha", and probably keep her alive - aiming for a sort of "stuck with her, so learn to love her" situation.

Frankly I think the concept is at best an Improbable Crossover, and could very easily become Implausible, but if you think you can make it work more power to ya.

What about turning the HP universe into a second 'province' of Ea(can't add the double dots, sorry), in which access to the Music of the Ainur was more open to humanity (and possibly elvenkind). You can then make the spell system used by wizards a degraded version of it (using latin, and whtever tounges percieved as high). Then, turn Harry/Glorgathon's mission into the reintroduction of the 'true music', which is love (already his post powerful exsisting power). Just my two cents!

Not quite enough, I think, but it doesn't seem quite right.

Anime, not my strength. I've never even heard of these (with the possible exception of Gunslinger Girl).

Careful, or you'll find that a sneaky Agent or two has run off with your newest recruit. Not my Agents, of course. *shifty*

Anyway, nice job. Much fun to read.

Molly would appreciate him as a new playmate. You're welcome to have her show up around him if you use him again - might need to work out her age in relation to his, so when is this mission?

Anyway, he's absolutely adorable and I'm glad he got saved.

http://rc6664.webs.com/mission4.htm

1. I will not ask Rita Skeeter if she lives in a yellow submarine.
   - Or how life goes on.
   - I will definitely not ask her if she is the walrus.
   1029. I will not use a fluid link from my TARDIS as an excuse to explore a city.

I will not suggest that any group of orcs be given extra-large condoms and lessons on abstinence.
-especially within earshot of Agents who have read C***b***n.
-especially if the group of orcs in question lives in the Misty Mountains.

I will not introduce Túrin Turambar and Marvin the Paranoid Android.
-The combined angst could create a black hole.

I will not give Ron Weasley a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster and tell him that it's firewhisky.
-No matter how funny his expression would be.

I do not have the ability to cause Sues to spontaneously combust by glaring at them.
-Consequently, I will not sulk when this doesn't work.

I will not lock the Nazgûl in a room with nine Dementors and videotape what happens.
-Nor will I attempt to sell the footage of said event.

I will not attempt to club a hobbit!Sue to death with a potato. It doesn't work.
-However, a pot of potato stew does.

I will not set any number of mûmakil loose in HQ.
-Especially if I've dyed them pink.
-Or bright yellow.
-Urple is right out.

When newbies are within earshot, I will not pretend to argue with an invisible creature named 'Fluffy' about it not being allowed to eat people.
-Nor will I break off arguing, smile at the newbies, and ask them if they want to pet 'Fluffy'.
-Nor will I tell them that "She's harmless. Really. Who needs limbs, anyway?"

Residents of Camelot in the BBC's 'Merlin' do not eat ham and jam and spam a lot
- And I am not to look scornfully at the castle and declare it to be 'only a model'.
- Neither am I to try and rouse the citizenry to overthrow Uther and become an 'anarcho-syndicalist commune'.
- Morgana may have 'huge ... tracts of land', but this does not mean I should point it out.
- I am not to follow Arthur around banging coconuts together
- In fact, 'Merlin' and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' are not easily confused and I should refrain from deliberately doing so in the mistaken belief that I am being hilarious.

I am not a Priestess of the Old Religion and therefore I am not allowed to invoke the Power of Life and Death Itself OR to wear a slinky maroon dress and be ambiguously, seductively insane.

Killing Uther Pendragon in order to accelerate the crowning of Arthur as king is not allowed.
- Not even if you think Arthur looks better in a crown
- Especially not even if you think the removal of Uther is all it will take to get Merlin to confess all about his magic and somehow end up in Arthur's enormous bed
- If you think that's likely to happen, you have been reading too much Merlin/Arthur slash
- Look, Arthur's actually quite keen on his dad, weirdly, despite the obvious issues, and Merlin's already turned down one opportunity to get him killed. It's a bad idea, all right?
- Plus if they find you you'll have someone 'trained to kill from birth' and his protectively homicidal warlock manservant after you.

I must not refer to Uther as 'King Giles'.

Swords are to be held in the hand during use, not thrown. They are not aerodynamically suited to being projectile weaponry. If I attempt to throw them around, I will only end up cutting my own appendages off.
- Unless I am in the Merlinverse, in which case I may fling them at Sues with gay abandon

1. I will not release the Flood in HQ. they take too long to kill.
   1007. I will not attempt to upload a virus into the borg collective.
   1008. I will not use binary explosives to kill a single sue.
   -large groups are OK, though
   1009. Thermonuclear weapons are not toys.
   1010. my partner is not to be used for target practice
   -that's why we have a firing range
   

986 Spiking any of the Flowers' fertilizer with alcohol.
987 Even if it would get me out of an awful mission.
988 I am not allowed to get my partner drunk.
989 Nor am I allowed to get any canon character drunk.
990 I am not allowed to get anyone drunk at all.
-Unless it is their birthday, or we think it's their birthday, and they are at HQ, in which case all bets are off.
991 I am not a stripper and no one will pay to see me strip my uniform off in any of the auditoriums.
992 I am also not a dresser, and people will also not pay for that.
993 Not even if it involves seven veils.
-Besides, that would give Luxury ideas.
994 The printing equipment for the Multiverse Monitor is not meant for printing large posters in order to give my RC 'a bit of color'.
995 I am not allowed to ask if any of the robotic or android Agents will do the robot for me.
- It's demeaning.
996 On the subject of robots, I am not allowed to wear cardboard boxes and pester said robots/androids while going 'Beep boop beep'.
-Or going 'beep bop beep boop'.
997 Arrange large boquets of regular flowers and send them to the Flowers.
998 Alternately, I'm not allowed to dress regular plants up in clothes, and set said regular plants in their respective counterpart Flower's office, and set up a camcorder in there to see how many Agents fall for it.
999 I will not ask the SO who makes his suits..
- The cut and fit would be totally wrong for me anyways.
1000 I will not ask about the Knob on the end of Gandalf's staff.
-or Saruman's.
-or Dumbledore's.

1. WMDs are my last resort, not my first.
   982. I will not remove the eyes of canon characters, even if they have been repeatedly referred to as a variety of precious or semi-precious gem.
   -Especially if the description is a canon one.
   983. I will not replace the guns in a military canon with convincing replicas.
   -Nor will I replace them with flowers that I got a Potterverse Agent to transfigure into guns.
   984. I will not drag my fanbrat alter-ego out of an OFU and into the PPCing of a fic she wrote
   -Not even if she deserves it
   985. I will not juggle with swords, daggers, knives or any other bladed object if I don't know what I'm doing.
   -Or fire

1. I'm not allowed to feed a Dalek to Croonkshanks.
   -He'll only throw it back up.
   975. Having a TARDIS and Time Turner together in a small space is a Very Bad Idea.
   976. Not allowed to Avada Kedarva Jack Harkness for my own amusement.
   977. It is especially cruel to transfigure a pear into a banana, then offer the transfigured pear to then Doctor.
   978. Nor may I take a picture of his facial expression, and post it around HQ.
   979. Capt. Jack Harkness and Sirius Black are never to meet.
   980. EVER.