Apr 2009 Archive, part c

http://www.youtube.com/user/brainiacstore
not my account, but it is interesting

My impression of the Draconians, whatever the color, was that they aren't too bright. They also tend to explode or do other bad things when injured or killed.

Honestly, if you think you need some kind of big impressive species/weapons for your agents to be interesting, you're going about it the wrong way. We're way more interested in what someone who isn't impressive on the surface can do under tough circumstances.

~Neshomeh

Haven't the foggiest, but, in the interests of not shoving posts off the first page, in future could you perhaps put additional questions in the same thread, if you've already got a question near the top of the page? A series of new threads by one person makes it easier to miss things, and if you simply put another post in your existing thread, people will still notice it and answer. Cheers.

I say it'd be a great idea because then we have more test subjects for those personality dialysis tests we're doing. ;]

My primary set of Agents is currently a trio - Cassie, Nat and Kelvin - but as far as I'm aware, most Agent teams are in pairs.

Back in the golden days of the PPC, i.e. before the LOTR movies came out, I've heard that Agents used to go around in threes quite regularly. However, the influx of badfic once the first LOTR film was released meant that there just weren't enough Agent teams to deal with it all, so the groupings were reduced to pairs. And, of course, there are Agents who don't have partners at all because of the understaffing.

And I've always had the image of most Response Centres being set up to only hold two Agents. My trio doesn't have so much of a problem, because Kelvin's an Elf and therefore doesn't actually need sleep as such. He's willing enough to kick back on the sofa and rest there.

you could try to put in more. It would be interesting to see how many agents you can fit into a room before they start killing each other.

I'm guessing not that many, though. Badfic tends to eat at a person's sociability, and makes them more likely to try to kill random people even without being crowded in a room.

Congrats on attaining such an impressively large amount of killed badfics. Have a medal and a stuffed panda.

*is very impressed*

That calls for opening the extra-big keg of bleepka!

That...that is a lot.

Have some cake and caffeine.

Congratulations! :-D

OO

Nice work! I haven't even started yet '>>

For your Agents' vacations.

Congratulations! Here, have a case of the finest Bleepka and a lifetime-supply of Bleepolate. You deserve it.

~Neshomeh

That's, like, 50 missions more than me.

Very impressive. You deserve the Jay & Acacia Medal.

(Seriously, we should hand out prizes like that once in a while.)

50 missions?! Congratulations.

Fifty missions?! And I thought I was doing all right with three to my name and three more on the way...

*produces something round and rather shiny on a chain out of a plothole*

This is the Platinum Spork Medallion! Please accept it as a token of your amazing achievement in reaching double the number of missions even Jay and Acacia ever did!

See, I told you there's no catching up to you. Well done. :D

CONGRATULATIONS!

IndeMaat needs a banner. Or a badge. Or just a sticker, but some sort of recognition.


(Unfortunately, I don't know either of those fandoms, so I can't read them to celebrate. :( )

*pulls out the music and the lembas*

Definitely a historical milestone!

You know, it would actually be interesting to write a character who actually *did* have flame hair... and with all the problems that would thus ensue (ie setting things on fire, being inevitably partnered with a pyromaniac, what happens when they headbutt something... any and all meetings with the Flowers...)

Or really insane mutant Agents?

What's the "Gimp"?

At least they are mercifully short.

As titles go, thank you for the TRAUMA.

I had noticed the familial relationship, yes. Thank you for pointing it out. Excuse me while I scour my brain with wire wool.

some things just aren't meant to be. They just aren't.

Never left the international area of the airport, though. I was only there to take another plane to Geneva.

Good luck to those who go to the Gathering. I hope you all realize how lucky you are.

Hope you enjoy your time over here, even if I can't meet up with you.

Bye bye! Have fun! We'll miss you!

Have a good time over there. ^_^

... (and if you're still around to read it) how about 12 noon (or if that's too early, 1 pm?) outside the main door to the Bath Abbey and the entrance to the Roman Baths (that's the same place). Nice and distinctive. Or, Kaitlyn says outside the train station might be a bit easier. If you still have a moment to think about it before you go, it's your choice.

hS (and Kaitlyn)

I mean, it's all real words, just Engrishy and malapropized. Wait, that's not a real word. Woe is me.

I feel bad for him, the poor elf. No canon character deserves that type of fan abuse repeatedly. I don't like lemons because of past bad experiences, but I don't usually have problems with them. This, though... I read the author's note and two lines, then stopped. It made me nauseous just thinking about it. My poor brain can only stand limes at the worst these days. I think this is why I would fail at the Department of Bad Slash. I would be vomiting half the time.
*hands over some bleeprin*

Surprisingly, all I thought when I read it was, "Why is Legolas randomly having it off and why is there chocolate involved? And what's with the fangs, is she a vampire?"

...A year ago I would have been squicked.

Because I think I remember it.

Well, whatever the case, my mind tells me that vague as my memories are, they say that anything with a name like that is nas-tay business.

I have nothing against porn stories, well-written or not. My issue is with such gratuitous and pointless canon debasement. Why Legolas? Why Middle Earth? Why can't the writer create her own damn setting, her own damn characters? The fact that this fic takes place in Middle Earth with Legolas is absolutely IRRELEVANT to the 'plot'.

I got less than 30 seconds in before shutting down my brain - old reflexes die hard. Somewhere between realizing that "Nikkaly" is a really f***ed up name for Middle Earth and trying to wrap my head around run-on sentences that don't quite work in the first paragraph, I was already taking mental evasive action. xD

I sent in Honesah and the Yarrow. If not, I can send again, as I have 'em on my computer.

Sues are a little more difficult to voice, due to when I can record and the likely reactions of peoples to me screaming at the top of my voice (not that I actually can scream).

I admit to completely forgetting about the random background screams/squeals/et cetera, but I'll do that today. Should be fun. :)

I'd be glad to do more, but I've already voiced at least three characters, so I'm not sure if it'll become confusing. If you think it can be pulled off (or if you can give me a particularly strong accent to work with), then let's try it.

A Sara currently does not have a working microphone, and isn't sure when she will be able to acquire one.

I'm really sorry about this, guys. There isn't really anything I can do about it at the moment.

in a dash of logic. Torchwood was established to protect the interests of the British Empire. There should only be branches of Torchwood established in countries that are part of the empire at the time of establishment of said branch.

Pretty sure that was not the case for 1930s USA.

Unless the Sue could argue that the Empire itself is thinking of branching out.

KILL IT WITH ACE'S BAT!

Make you wonder what ever happened to common sense in this world...
Quick question though: nothing returns to normal until the Sue is dead, correct?
Because I would love to see how close an in-character Sec would be with her then. >D

I'm fairly certain they could get some of the Dalek-killing guns from the end of S4 NuWho out of the Armory. Granted, it wouldn't be a particularly spectacular kill in PPC terms, but taking down a Dalek at all is pretty spectacular, I'd say.

That, and we can figure out something fancy to do with the Sue instead.


As for Torchwood 5... well, nothing a good-old swathe of bullets couldn't fix.

I don:t want to diswade you from this flame war. When I first entred the ranks (7 years ago) we only targeted stories, never the authors themselves.

But I have had a bit too much to drink tonight (yay sake!).


Leto

...we're s'posed to dislike this person. She whinges and she bitches and she's militant about her pairing.

...

You don't need our yay or nay for that. Go forth and bitch at her, and give her hell.

We're probably technically not meant to pick on specific authors. Or not too much. It looks like singling them out and being harsh unnecessarily. By all means, be harsh, as much as you like. Just don't make the fact that you're being harsh too visible to its recipient.

Of course, refusing to answer concrit is why we spork in the first place. Give the girl a clap about the shoulder, in a friendly way, to express your thanks that she keeps us all in a job?

tutorial on how to do html

Under the heading "Adding links to other pages" it explains how to add links to other pages and websites.

She broke down and just cried, holding onto him as though she'd never let go. Incoherent attempts at sentences were choked out every so often as she tried to explain herself, but in the end she just allowed herself to cry it all out.

When she'd managed to calm down to the point where every word wasn't broken up by sobs, she tried the explanation again. "S-sorry, this... none o' this is your fault, I swear. It's me... I just... I 'ave... oh, bloody 'ell, I'm just talkin' rubbish, I c-can't even talk properly." She stared down at the floor, knowing he must think of her as a complete idiot and not wanting to see that expression on his face.

Any minute now he'd decide she was a weak litle girl who couldn't control herself, make some excuse and walk off.

Anything which defiles the Happy Tree Friends needs to suffer.

(I should point out, though, that rat penises are tiny. It's just the testicles that are ridiculously oversized. Please don't ask me how I know this. Look, if you saw a book entitled "How Animals Have Sex", wouldn't you read it?)

want spikehead.
If you want to know the names of the agents adopting it, as of right now, they will be Alucard and Hawkheart

I've always wanted to adopt a Kirbyverse mini.

And I thought Vampirefreak4life's Twilight Meets Warriors on the Pit was bad on spotty capitalization, but that takes the cake. I might want honey, but I'd have to know what she is first.

Fritz would like to note that there is at least one glaring typo, towards the end: it's "wring" her neck, not "ring."

Still, putting the Grammar Nazi under lock and key for the moment, I always adore good character interaction, and you had me laughing fit to burst with the "spicks." That IS an impressive mental image.

I can't stand Kirby badfic. Thank Glod this one is dead; I could swear that I could practically hear capitalization crying in a corner while attempting to read the 'fic.

Maybe your agents could go rogue and disrupt the canon. But once the Flowers learn of this, they send a mission to stop the rogue agents and restore Naruto.

This way, you get to spork it with PPC agents, but without doing it in the name of the PPC.

That certainly doesn't mean you can't MST it.

While the PPC isn't allowed to interfere directly with canon, there's no rules against your Agents sitting down with a copy of the movie and going Snark City on it.

I understand the feeling. Sometimes I so want to smack some canon characters in the face because they're so obnoxious to each other and/or to the canon itself (see Stargate Atlantis and how McKay is treated sometimes). But the Infernal Trio won't be doing that.
The irony is lulz.

We can't. We're only allowed to kill fanfics, because the rules state that canon has to be protected no matter how bad it is. Otherwise, Eragon, Twilight, and a few others would have Agents pouring in with large pointy flaming objects, headed straight towards the main characters.

We're supposed to protect the canon- which includes official work.

That would defeat the purpose of Protecting the Plot Continuum.

possessing a healing technique as powerful as Tsunade's regeneration jutsu, which she created herself as the formost medical nin in the world.

THEY SEND BABIES TO FIGHT ME?! [/nerd]

Top-notch stuff. I stopped reading the books at Goblet of Fire, I'll admit, but even I can see that the whole situation in this one is patently ridiculous.

Pure awesome.

Hm... Crelly was looking for test subjects, eh? Maybe Adder and Deuce should've given that Replacement Stu to him instead. Oh well.

It was just as horrible as when I found it; I don't blame you for not wanting to keep reading.

a half finished dissection of the 'Sue to go with the microbiology of the 'Sue piece I had. I'll have to dig it out.

It was most scholarly and had a lot about the Sue Brain structure.

I don't know if it would do any internal damage, but you could always try sulfur mustard, also known as mustard gas. it causes horrendous burns. that would be very humiliating to a Sue. or if you are aiming for long term unconsciousness you could use EA-3167, which would cause the victim to remain unconscious for several days with a very small dose(injected into the bloodstream). or, again, for burns or blisters, Lewisite. I would imagine it would have a similar affect to the mustard gas.

While he's not an expert on biology (he's a History major/English minor), he has at one point (largely out of frustration) conducted impromptu brain surgery on a Sue with particularly bad grammar and a tendency towards chatspeak.

Surprisingly, she DID have a brain, but not much of one. The entirety of the brain was shrunken and pretty sickly-looking, but the left hemisphere was considerably more so than the right. Which makes sense, considering that the left-brain is typically associated with analytical functions, and those parts of language relating to proper grammar.

I've found a Sue, who, after being subjected to torture which involved burning her eyeballs out with a hot sword, somehow managed to regrow said eyeballs, despite being full-blood human and coming from a continuum which follows Real World laws of physics and biology. Her eyes are now solid crimson, she has heat-vision, and she can replay past events on her retinas.
Would the DoMSE like said eyeballs recovered for research purposes?

... stinging nettle poison might do for our purpose. Watch 'em twitching while they're trying to be cool :)

We know that Sues have glittery blood. The level of glitter in a certain Sue's blood determines the type of Sue it is (like Goth!Sue or Princess!Sue).

If you want, here is the lab journal in question. And here is another lab for Sue blood.

That's not organs, I know, but it is biology. What makes someone live for longer? *didn't do past GCSE biology* I wonder if their bodies decompose at the same rate as a human... And probably shouldn't be wanting to test that now.

Also, on livers and alcohol, there doesn't seem to be an in between between "total lightweight" and "never, ever drunk", so clearly some of them are just defective.

I'd say that they don't absorb calories in the same way as a human either. Maybe the shrunken stomach like WikiMaster suggested, or maybe it's something to do with the intestines.

However, there's no theory yet that covers the composition of their 'soft parts'. Sorry!

Or, at least, that was the general consensus last time I checked.

An old thread like this is the best way to make relatively private contact.

I was wondering if I could do some more detail with Big Murphy and Small Murphy-- I thought I should ask you first since you created them, but seeing as how they're nothing but names at the moment I'd love to give them some flesh.

Agent Kierra is more than a bit knife-obsessed and she wants one of those hammerspace knives. *backs away from the crazy, console killing agent*

I really like the introductory part. The rest of the mission seemed pretty good, too.

Deryn's one for knives, so if I could reserve one for her, that'd be great. Not sure she's got anything in possession at the moment, but… there should be sometime. I think.

Sue weaponry tends to be.

If so, I'd like to have Agent Fritz buy one of them-- at his size, it'd be more of a mid-size sword than a knife, but still quite usable.

Also, that may have been the longest charge list I've ever seen.

While I don't know anything about the canon, the fic still sounds pretty bad. Also, the vending machine with the HK-47-like behavioral patterns is quite an interesting character. Does its programming, by any chance, include all of HK's highly advanced assassination protocols?

...Here is an official list of experiments.  Oddly enough, considering this is an all-audiences show, 412 and 413 don't appear to be any sort of scandal-critters.  (They're an "unknown function" and a food-wrecker.)

I wouldn't consider myself part of the fandom, per se...but I liked the movie and the series.

That poor continuum. >_

Should I read this?

I'd take it on with my boys in Floaters, but I have actually never seen Lilo & Stitch, so...

If someone with canon-knowledge would be willing to double-team the mission with me, I'd be willing to give it a shot.

No fic with that title could ever be good.
I hope it's a parody. Not much chance of that, though.

I'm going to read the fic now.

Well, at least I now know why I don't ever venture into that section of the Pit now.

Please, for the love of Glod, destroy it.

Someone, please, KILL THIS WITH FIRE!

Thank for bringing my attention to this.

I checked out the trailers and all the behind-the-scenes features for the Hunt for Gollum stuff, and in conclusion, this is up to the quality of the LOTR movies. I'll be waiting for it to be released... this SUNDAY!

WANT.

I knew about "The Hunt For Gollum", but the second one is new to me. Joy!

And all the more ooooh because I recognise at least one of the locations: the ruined castle at 0:55 in the first full trailer for TH4G is Castell-y-Bere in Wales, specifically the South Tower/Round Tower and the door next to it; I've been there nearly every summer for the past twenty-odd years. So that was a Glee! moment for me.

By the way, PFC, are you still coming to the Gathering next Saturday? If so, it'd be good to exchange contact details. Same to anyone else thinking of going; my email's above, so email me.

hS